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1
00:01:28,589 --> 00:01:33,761
All right.
So... save the day...
2
00:01:33,844 --> 00:01:37,181
All right. All right.
Here we go. Okay.
3
00:01:37,265 --> 00:01:39,058
Think about the future,
think about...
4
00:01:40,851 --> 00:01:45,022
The power is in... future.
5
00:01:45,106 --> 00:01:47,650
- Tommy, let's go!
- Is inside all of us.
6
00:01:47,733 --> 00:01:50,278
- That's good.
- Let's do this!
7
00:01:50,361 --> 00:01:52,588
- Get rid of the cheap bike!
- Hold on, I'm coming, I'm coming...
8
00:01:55,658 --> 00:01:57,618
- Damn it.
- Come on.
9
00:01:59,787 --> 00:02:00,913
- Tommy.
- I'll take...
10
00:02:00,997 --> 00:02:01,998
Sorry, sorry. Yeah, I know...
11
00:02:02,081 --> 00:02:03,874
- Did you have sex last night?
- No, I didn't...
12
00:02:03,958 --> 00:02:05,668
I know. But listen, this is important.
13
00:02:05,669 --> 00:02:07,127
This is the biggest meeting of our lives...
14
00:02:07,128 --> 00:02:09,363
- I know, I know, I know. I'm... I'm...
- And you look stressed out,
15
00:02:09,446 --> 00:02:11,540
and I think you really need
to just go to that conference room
16
00:02:11,624 --> 00:02:13,926
and just jerk one off.
It will make you operate.
17
00:02:14,010 --> 00:02:15,594
Like, through the body.
18
00:02:15,678 --> 00:02:17,154
- I'm not doing this.
- You know what I mean?
19
00:02:17,238 --> 00:02:19,390
Oh, today's a nice day.
20
00:02:20,391 --> 00:02:22,476
You know, you guys are my best friends.
21
00:02:22,560 --> 00:02:25,479
I really mean it. Okay, puppies.
22
00:02:25,563 --> 00:02:27,398
Don't be mean.
23
00:02:27,481 --> 00:02:29,567
Just come this way. Come on.
24
00:02:29,650 --> 00:02:31,235
Oh.
25
00:02:31,319 --> 00:02:33,821
Oh, God. Uh... oh.
26
00:02:33,904 --> 00:02:36,407
No, that's my leg.
27
00:02:36,490 --> 00:02:38,701
Come on.
28
00:02:38,784 --> 00:02:41,912
Come on. You're gonna go this way.
29
00:02:41,996 --> 00:02:44,040
- Oh, that's the phone.
- Crazy. Yeah...
30
00:02:44,123 --> 00:02:46,876
Oh, my God. Oh, no.
Okay. This is him.
31
00:02:46,959 --> 00:02:50,671
It's him. Oh, God.
This is him.
32
00:02:54,717 --> 00:02:56,844
Get over here. No.
33
00:02:56,927 --> 00:02:58,304
Oh, God.
34
00:03:03,559 --> 00:03:05,311
Come on.
35
00:03:05,394 --> 00:03:07,646
- Get inside.
- Ooh. Now, where have you been?
36
00:03:07,730 --> 00:03:10,149
Come, come, come, come, come.
Come. Gonna make this.
37
00:03:10,232 --> 00:03:13,861
Come on. Come on.
38
00:03:13,944 --> 00:03:15,112
I was walking the dog.
39
00:03:16,113 --> 00:03:18,157
Right... Okay.
40
00:03:18,240 --> 00:03:19,867
Nervous energy before the show.
41
00:03:19,950 --> 00:03:22,244
Yeah... You look like shit.
42
00:03:25,039 --> 00:03:26,874
What's wrong with the way I look?
43
00:03:28,959 --> 00:03:31,712
You're not gonna believe
who called me today.
44
00:03:31,796 --> 00:03:34,382
I got a call from the fashion house.
45
00:03:34,465 --> 00:03:35,800
And?
46
00:03:35,883 --> 00:03:38,094
I didn't listen to it,
because I was a little scared...
47
00:03:38,177 --> 00:03:40,596
Okay.
You need to stop being so chickenshit.
48
00:03:40,679 --> 00:03:43,391
- I just wanted to listen to it with you.
- You can handle more than you think.
49
00:03:43,474 --> 00:03:44,975
- Okay. Well...
- Give it to me.
50
00:03:47,061 --> 00:03:49,480
Bonjour. I regret to inform you
51
00:03:49,563 --> 00:03:51,857
that we are declining
to carry your designs.
52
00:03:51,941 --> 00:03:54,360
We wish you the best of luck
with your future endeavors.
53
00:03:54,443 --> 00:03:55,986
Au revoir.
54
00:03:56,070 --> 00:03:58,155
It's okay. There's another message,
there's another one.
55
00:03:58,239 --> 00:04:00,408
Hi, honey. It's Mom.
56
00:04:00,491 --> 00:04:02,618
I'm trying to send you
that thousand dollars you need...
57
00:04:05,538 --> 00:04:08,040
Are you borrowing money
from your parents again?
58
00:04:08,124 --> 00:04:10,793
- I'm such a mess.
- Oh, no, babe...
59
00:04:10,876 --> 00:04:12,962
- Everything's gone wrong.
- No, you're not a mess.
60
00:04:13,045 --> 00:04:15,589
You just... You just need
a little bit of TLC.
61
00:04:15,673 --> 00:04:16,841
That's all.
62
00:04:16,924 --> 00:04:19,635
Hey, look. You're gonna be great.
63
00:04:19,718 --> 00:04:23,097
Okay? I'll fix you up.
I'll fix all of this.
64
00:04:23,180 --> 00:04:25,073
They're gonna love you.
They're gonna love your designs,
65
00:04:25,074 --> 00:04:26,475
the buyers are going to give you an order
66
00:04:26,559 --> 00:04:29,270
that'll transcend
your wildest dreams, yeah?
67
00:04:29,353 --> 00:04:32,022
- Yeah?
- I don't know. If you say so.
68
00:04:32,106 --> 00:04:34,066
Okay. All right, love.
69
00:04:34,150 --> 00:04:36,861
Um, but maybe you should just
have a little shower first.
70
00:04:38,696 --> 00:04:42,158
Hello, thank you
for calling Schmiegel Ad Agency.
71
00:04:42,241 --> 00:04:43,834
How can I direct your call?
72
00:04:52,376 --> 00:04:55,588
Tom? One day,
this will all be yours.
73
00:04:58,382 --> 00:05:01,260
I built this whole empire,
74
00:05:01,343 --> 00:05:05,931
and my number one achievement to this day,
MOFO Moonshine.
75
00:05:06,015 --> 00:05:08,100
Look at this art. Look at it.
76
00:05:08,184 --> 00:05:10,936
"Lick, swallow, and suck.
No limes needed."
77
00:05:11,020 --> 00:05:15,649
It's like a Picasso ofjizz
that came out of me onto this canvas.
78
00:05:15,733 --> 00:05:17,151
Yeah.
79
00:05:23,282 --> 00:05:25,910
I cannot do no wrong.
80
00:05:27,912 --> 00:05:30,164
He's early, so we are leaving.
81
00:05:31,248 --> 00:05:32,875
- Now.
- All right.
82
00:05:40,925 --> 00:05:43,719
Whoa... Whoa, check this out.
83
00:05:43,802 --> 00:05:46,055
- Holy smokes!
- Hey, hey, wait. No, no, no, no...
84
00:05:46,056 --> 00:05:47,089
How do you turn this thing on?
85
00:05:47,173 --> 00:05:49,107
You're gonna break your neck.
Those things are death traps.
86
00:05:49,191 --> 00:05:51,100
They kill people all the time.
You can't even ride a bike.
87
00:05:51,101 --> 00:05:53,053
You're gonna shoot through the roof...
88
00:06:19,421 --> 00:06:21,799
Mr. Johnson,
if you can wait one moment to...
89
00:06:21,882 --> 00:06:25,177
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
No man stands in front of the boss.
90
00:06:26,470 --> 00:06:28,180
Unless Little Jerry says so.
91
00:06:31,225 --> 00:06:32,518
Little Jerry, what do you say?
92
00:06:35,354 --> 00:06:36,564
He said it's okay.
93
00:06:36,647 --> 00:06:38,148
All right.
What do you got, Irene?
94
00:06:38,232 --> 00:06:40,693
Um, well, we have the projection
all set up for you.
95
00:06:40,776 --> 00:06:42,570
Come on. Wow me.
96
00:06:42,653 --> 00:06:44,572
Right. Okay. Well, you know,
97
00:06:44,655 --> 00:06:47,783
we were thinking to focus on this amazing
innovation you created, and...
98
00:06:47,866 --> 00:06:50,744
Well, uh, Elon Musk, he has innovation.
99
00:06:50,828 --> 00:06:53,247
- Next.
- Let's take the future technology
100
00:06:53,330 --> 00:06:55,833
and make it available
for the consumer today.
101
00:06:55,916 --> 00:06:58,252
Apple. Smart and affordable. Next.
102
00:07:02,089 --> 00:07:04,633
- What do you got?
- Bye-bye.
103
00:07:08,304 --> 00:07:11,181
"Johnson Jetpacks.
Making the future fun again."
104
00:07:15,060 --> 00:07:16,854
What did you say?
105
00:07:16,937 --> 00:07:19,398
"Making the future fun again."
106
00:07:19,481 --> 00:07:22,234
Well, Mr. Johnson, we're a quarter
of the way into the 21st century,
107
00:07:22,318 --> 00:07:25,738
but the future isn't nearly
as cool or wild as we dreamed.
108
00:07:25,821 --> 00:07:28,407
Until today.
109
00:07:28,490 --> 00:07:31,227
By making the future fun,
we open the world's imagination.
110
00:07:31,310 --> 00:07:32,611
- I mean, look at this thing.
- No, I...
111
00:07:32,694 --> 00:07:33,912
It is a beauty!
112
00:07:33,996 --> 00:07:35,539
This isn't just a jetpack
that you created.
113
00:07:35,623 --> 00:07:37,833
It's like a... it's like, uh...
114
00:07:37,916 --> 00:07:40,210
- A vibrator for the mind.
- Yes!
115
00:07:40,294 --> 00:07:41,879
It's like a vibrator for your mind.
116
00:07:41,962 --> 00:07:43,956
And what does the world need
more than vibration right now?
117
00:07:44,039 --> 00:07:45,716
Nothing. The world needs vibration.
118
00:07:45,799 --> 00:07:49,553
So why don't you get over here,
just strap on, ride hard,
119
00:07:49,637 --> 00:07:53,682
and blast off in a Johnson Jetpack?
120
00:07:55,225 --> 00:07:57,561
Tomorrow...
121
00:07:57,645 --> 00:07:58,896
is today.
122
00:08:01,815 --> 00:08:03,067
Idiots...
123
00:08:07,196 --> 00:08:09,198
You're saying it's like sex?
124
00:08:09,281 --> 00:08:12,326
Riding them hard and wet?
Tomorrow is today?
125
00:08:12,409 --> 00:08:13,744
Is that what you're telling me?
126
00:08:13,827 --> 00:08:15,829
I just wanna apologize, that was...
127
00:08:15,913 --> 00:08:18,332
It's genius! It's brilliant!
128
00:08:18,415 --> 00:08:20,751
Where were you hiding this guy?
You got a Don Draper on your team.
129
00:08:20,834 --> 00:08:24,046
And you, vibrations.
Genius, genius.
130
00:08:24,129 --> 00:08:26,715
Why do you act so stupid?
And who are you?
131
00:08:26,799 --> 00:08:28,634
Uh, my name's Tom.
132
00:08:28,717 --> 00:08:29,885
- Tom.
- Tom,
133
00:08:29,968 --> 00:08:32,262
you're gonna be the new face
of the Johnson Jetpack.
134
00:08:32,346 --> 00:08:34,807
Now put that helmet on.
Let me see you in that jetpack.
135
00:08:38,018 --> 00:08:39,144
- Good, good.
- Uh...
136
00:08:39,228 --> 00:08:41,814
- Model that baby.
- Uh, okay.
137
00:08:41,897 --> 00:08:43,107
Oh, I like it.
138
00:08:43,190 --> 00:08:45,567
I think it's... I think it's on, man.
139
00:08:45,651 --> 00:08:47,503
I think it's on. Get this off of me.
140
00:08:49,071 --> 00:08:50,864
Oh... shit.
141
00:08:53,826 --> 00:08:55,786
You pushed the wrong button.
142
00:08:55,869 --> 00:08:57,746
I told you this was stupid.
143
00:08:59,415 --> 00:09:02,000
Excellent!
Watch your head.
144
00:09:02,084 --> 00:09:03,335
Stop!
145
00:09:04,962 --> 00:09:07,464
Man, that thing's way faster
than I thought it would be.
146
00:09:07,548 --> 00:09:09,883
Oh! That's gotta hurt.
147
00:09:09,967 --> 00:09:12,678
-
- Oh my gosh!
148
00:09:12,761 --> 00:09:14,304
What's he doing?
149
00:09:14,388 --> 00:09:16,682
Oh. Good thing he's wearing a helmet.
150
00:09:24,189 --> 00:09:26,900
Fuck you, Ricky!
151
00:09:26,984 --> 00:09:28,944
Look out!
152
00:09:34,700 --> 00:09:35,868
Hmm.
153
00:09:36,952 --> 00:09:39,079
Okay. The finishing touches.
154
00:09:40,372 --> 00:09:42,916
- All right.
- Don't do too much of that stuff.
155
00:09:43,000 --> 00:09:45,836
- Okay.
- Okay. Just a little.
156
00:09:45,919 --> 00:09:49,089
Why is this mascara so clumpy?
157
00:09:49,173 --> 00:09:51,258
Did it expire?
Does mascara expire?
158
00:09:51,341 --> 00:09:54,219
I don't know. Honestly,
I don't really care what I look like.
159
00:09:54,303 --> 00:09:56,138
It's not like I'm trying to get picked up.
160
00:09:56,221 --> 00:09:58,307
Yeah, because that would be a nightmare.
161
00:09:58,390 --> 00:10:01,435
Men are a pointless distraction.
162
00:10:01,518 --> 00:10:03,437
That's kind of the point, babe.
163
00:10:04,521 --> 00:10:08,942
Speaking of distractions,
I sent Molly out for the night.
164
00:10:09,026 --> 00:10:11,361
Thank God.
She's a roommate from hell.
165
00:10:11,445 --> 00:10:12,988
I don't know.
I think that I have enough on.
166
00:10:13,071 --> 00:10:15,199
Is this... Am I good?
Do I look...
167
00:10:15,282 --> 00:10:16,992
You look beautiful.
168
00:10:24,625 --> 00:10:28,754
Honestly, I just really need this to work.
169
00:10:30,297 --> 00:10:32,257
It's going to be great.
170
00:10:32,341 --> 00:10:33,967
It's gonna be a hit.
171
00:10:34,051 --> 00:10:37,387
Those bitches have never looked better.
172
00:10:37,471 --> 00:10:39,723
- Do you really mean that?
- Yes, I do.
173
00:10:39,807 --> 00:10:41,058
Okay.
174
00:10:44,102 --> 00:10:46,396
Well, let's go kill it.
175
00:10:46,480 --> 00:10:49,066
Yeah, let's go kill it.
176
00:10:49,149 --> 00:10:51,902
And we have Miss Kesha
Rockefeller Jones.
177
00:10:51,985 --> 00:10:54,071
She will go "boom, boom" in your room
178
00:10:54,154 --> 00:10:59,159
in a custom jumpsuit
made of authentic jersey polyester.
179
00:11:04,873 --> 00:11:08,752
Is that my boxed wine?
Someone's gonna have to pay for that.
180
00:11:08,836 --> 00:11:11,547
Molly? What are you doing here?
181
00:11:11,630 --> 00:11:14,383
Tonight is my doggy fashion show.
182
00:11:14,466 --> 00:11:16,260
I thought you were joking.
183
00:11:16,343 --> 00:11:18,095
Uh, okay.
184
00:11:18,178 --> 00:11:21,056
So, Laura, why don't you get
our next doggy model ready?
185
00:11:21,139 --> 00:11:24,309
And, Molly,
why don't you go to your room?
186
00:11:24,393 --> 00:11:27,312
Now. We can...
Kind of little busy here.
187
00:11:27,396 --> 00:11:29,731
I brought Laura a friend.
188
00:11:31,400 --> 00:11:33,902
Because everyone knows
that she could use a good fuck.
189
00:11:33,986 --> 00:11:37,781
Okay. That's enough.
Just... go to your room.
190
00:11:37,865 --> 00:11:39,199
This one's for you.
191
00:11:39,283 --> 00:11:42,703
- Meet Mateo.
- I'm Matias. He's Mateo.
192
00:11:45,622 --> 00:11:49,042
Mateo. Ma-tat-o.
Who gives a fuck?
193
00:11:49,126 --> 00:11:50,627
He's hot and horny,
194
00:11:50,711 --> 00:11:53,881
and he has hasn't shot a load
in over two weeks.
195
00:11:53,964 --> 00:11:57,426
Get ready because his dick's gonna be like
a McDonald's milkshake machine.
196
00:12:00,345 --> 00:12:03,849
Okay. Isn't she a riot?
197
00:12:03,932 --> 00:12:06,810
Okay. Can you please just leave?
198
00:12:06,894 --> 00:12:08,186
Yeah.
199
00:12:08,270 --> 00:12:09,813
Fine.
200
00:12:09,897 --> 00:12:12,065
I was gonna share,
but since you're being so rude,
201
00:12:12,149 --> 00:12:14,276
I won't. Come on.
202
00:12:14,359 --> 00:12:17,863
Where were we?
203
00:12:20,991 --> 00:12:24,119
Are you sure
these people are real buyers?
204
00:12:25,287 --> 00:12:27,956
Yes. I found them online.
They had great reviews.
205
00:12:28,040 --> 00:12:30,417
Huh. Who's the charmer?
206
00:12:30,500 --> 00:12:33,712
He's a Pet Core representative.
Employee of the month.
207
00:12:33,795 --> 00:12:39,134
- And the cat lady?
- Uh, she's the owner of Feline's Behinds.
208
00:12:40,135 --> 00:12:43,388
- And... Judas?
- Uh, he just showed up.
209
00:12:44,681 --> 00:12:46,350
Oh, okay.
210
00:12:46,433 --> 00:12:48,218
- Laura, why don't you get...
- This isn't happening,
211
00:12:48,301 --> 00:12:50,270
- this isn't happening.
- ...our next doggie model?
212
00:12:58,946 --> 00:13:02,032
Yeah, that's my boy, whoo-hoo!
213
00:13:04,743 --> 00:13:08,664
Fuck, yeah! Oh, yeah!
Oh, daddy, hit the spot!
214
00:13:08,747 --> 00:13:10,582
Oh, fuck!
215
00:13:10,666 --> 00:13:12,209
Oh, yeah!
216
00:13:12,292 --> 00:13:13,835
Oh, fuck!
217
00:13:13,919 --> 00:13:15,462
Oh, fuck, daddy!
Keep going.
218
00:13:15,545 --> 00:13:17,339
Keep going. Oh, yeah!
219
00:13:17,422 --> 00:13:19,716
Oh, fuck. Slap that ass! Slap it!
220
00:13:19,800 --> 00:13:21,969
Fuck, yeah.
221
00:13:22,052 --> 00:13:25,305
Oh, yeah.
222
00:13:25,389 --> 00:13:26,473
Oh, yeah!
223
00:13:26,556 --> 00:13:29,476
- This house needs an exorcism.
- Oh! Oh, yeah!
224
00:13:29,559 --> 00:13:32,270
Uh, okay.
Look, look, um, just wait.
225
00:13:32,354 --> 00:13:35,148
The... the... tuxedo.
Tuxedo.
226
00:13:35,232 --> 00:13:39,361
You haven't seen anything yet.
This is the grand finale.
227
00:13:39,444 --> 00:13:43,782
What kind of bridal party would it be
if your little furry friends,
228
00:13:43,865 --> 00:13:47,202
furry friends couldn't
walk down the aisle with them?
229
00:13:47,285 --> 00:13:53,417
You'll say "I do"
to the exquisite designs of Doggie Style.
230
00:14:03,802 --> 00:14:06,179
Look, I'm just the cashier for Pet Core.
231
00:14:06,263 --> 00:14:08,473
I think I responded
to the wrong ad. Sorry.
232
00:14:08,557 --> 00:14:11,059
Um, do these come in human sizes?
233
00:14:11,143 --> 00:14:14,646
Um, also I need to pee,
where's your litter box? Meow.
234
00:14:14,730 --> 00:14:18,942
Uh, where did you find these morons?
235
00:14:22,529 --> 00:14:24,114
Who's next?
236
00:14:25,699 --> 00:14:28,702
- This was an awful idea.
- Hey, no, no, no, no.
237
00:14:28,785 --> 00:14:31,413
We will come up with a plan, okay?
238
00:14:32,956 --> 00:14:35,500
Speaking of plans,
either of you have a plan B pill?
239
00:14:35,584 --> 00:14:38,503
Mr. Argentina forgot to pull out.
240
00:14:40,130 --> 00:14:46,178
Okay, look, you lazy, selfish,
irresponsible nympho alcoholic.
241
00:14:46,261 --> 00:14:48,263
I am not lazy.
242
00:14:49,389 --> 00:14:53,143
And you look awfully tense.
Wanna fuck?
243
00:14:56,188 --> 00:15:00,567
Our roommate is going through
a very difficult time right now.
244
00:15:00,650 --> 00:15:04,654
I think that some words of encouragement
would be very much appreciated.
245
00:15:04,738 --> 00:15:08,241
Sure. Rent's due tomorrow.
246
00:15:10,660 --> 00:15:12,662
I'm gonna kill her in her sleep.
247
00:15:12,746 --> 00:15:13,830
Hey.
248
00:15:18,585 --> 00:15:21,171
Let's have a drink, babe.
249
00:15:21,254 --> 00:15:22,714
We'll get it next time.
250
00:15:23,799 --> 00:15:24,883
Next time.
251
00:15:29,471 --> 00:15:32,724
Gold. Something gold.
252
00:15:32,808 --> 00:15:34,351
Gold, uh... Gold, um...
253
00:15:34,434 --> 00:15:36,853
Gold ideas... Gold idea...
254
00:15:44,611 --> 00:15:46,655
Here's your order.
255
00:15:48,490 --> 00:15:50,909
Hey, uh, are you guys hiring?
256
00:15:50,992 --> 00:15:53,120
I've never worked in a food truck before.
257
00:15:53,203 --> 00:15:55,831
Benny...
Benny and the Jetpacks, yup.
258
00:15:55,914 --> 00:15:57,833
That's a good one.
That's a good... That...
259
00:15:57,916 --> 00:15:59,417
We can put some good music to that.
260
00:15:59,501 --> 00:16:02,337
- You want an application?
- I'd... Yeah. Sure. Okay.
261
00:16:02,420 --> 00:16:03,755
Thank you.
262
00:16:03,839 --> 00:16:05,799
Oh, lady, and take one of these.
It'll help you chill out.
263
00:16:07,467 --> 00:16:10,554
Thanks. I guess.
264
00:16:12,556 --> 00:16:14,432
Hey, do you have a pen?
265
00:16:14,516 --> 00:16:17,602
Excuse me, do you have a pen?
266
00:16:17,686 --> 00:16:21,940
Nobody has a pen. Great.
267
00:16:22,023 --> 00:16:23,483
I have a pen if you...
268
00:16:23,567 --> 00:16:25,652
don't mind red.
269
00:16:25,735 --> 00:16:27,737
I love red.
270
00:16:27,821 --> 00:16:29,823
- Thanks.
- Uh, here.
271
00:16:29,906 --> 00:16:32,117
- Is this lingerie?
- No, I got it. Don't...
272
00:16:32,200 --> 00:16:33,243
Don't worry about it.
273
00:16:33,326 --> 00:16:36,454
- They're tutus.
- Tutus for dogs. Wow.
274
00:16:36,538 --> 00:16:37,539
I'm a designer.
275
00:16:37,622 --> 00:16:39,207
- Really?
- Yeah.
276
00:16:40,208 --> 00:16:41,918
That's pretty, uh...
277
00:16:42,002 --> 00:16:43,378
- Kind of stupid.
- ...brilliant.
278
00:16:45,255 --> 00:16:47,299
- You really think so?
- Yeah. Yeah.
279
00:16:47,382 --> 00:16:49,634
I mean, can I buy one from you?
280
00:16:49,718 --> 00:16:51,052
Do you have a dog?
281
00:16:51,136 --> 00:16:52,846
I don't...
No, I don't have a dog.
282
00:16:54,306 --> 00:16:56,474
Yeah, I'd probably
fit it around one of my legs.
283
00:17:00,103 --> 00:17:02,606
That is the first time
I've smiled in over a week.
284
00:17:02,689 --> 00:17:04,608
Well, you have a nice smile.
285
00:17:04,691 --> 00:17:07,485
- No, I don't.
- Yeah, you do.
286
00:17:08,486 --> 00:17:10,906
No one wants to buy any of my designs.
287
00:17:12,324 --> 00:17:14,409
Well, I mean, I...
I work in advertising.
288
00:17:14,492 --> 00:17:16,995
I can help you come up
with some new stuff maybe and...
289
00:17:17,078 --> 00:17:18,705
Over dinner or, uh...
290
00:17:20,540 --> 00:17:23,585
Okay. But it...
As long as it's not a date.
291
00:17:23,668 --> 00:17:26,129
What, you got something against...
292
00:17:26,213 --> 00:17:27,464
- against dating dudes?
- No.
293
00:17:27,547 --> 00:17:29,799
I just told myself
I'm not gonna date anybody
294
00:17:29,883 --> 00:17:32,135
until I make
my first business transaction.
295
00:17:32,219 --> 00:17:34,387
Oh, well, then we...
We gotta get on this.
296
00:17:34,471 --> 00:17:35,764
- Yeah.
- Time's wasting.
297
00:17:41,394 --> 00:17:42,562
Poodle skirts.
298
00:17:42,646 --> 00:17:44,272
Poodle skirts for poodles.
299
00:17:44,356 --> 00:17:47,859
- Okay, you got some good ideas.
- Right? Rottweilers in leather.
300
00:17:47,943 --> 00:17:49,236
Leather jackets around their butts.
301
00:17:53,240 --> 00:17:56,326
It was electric from the day we met.
302
00:17:56,409 --> 00:17:58,161
Thanks to everyone for coming
303
00:17:58,245 --> 00:18:01,539
and spending some time with us
before the big day.
304
00:18:01,623 --> 00:18:05,293
We're really looking forward
to the trip with both families.
305
00:18:05,377 --> 00:18:06,878
I've never been happier.
306
00:18:08,171 --> 00:18:10,548
Thank you so much for saying yes, Laura.
307
00:18:10,632 --> 00:18:12,842
Of course. That was beautiful.
308
00:18:13,843 --> 00:18:15,971
That was beautiful.
Thank you so much.
309
00:18:16,054 --> 00:18:18,473
Hey, did everybody get enough to eat?
310
00:18:18,474 --> 00:18:19,557
- Oh, yeah.
- It was good.
311
00:18:19,558 --> 00:18:20,975
- I could use...
- It was good. Thank you.
312
00:18:20,976 --> 00:18:22,943
- ...another one of these.
- You guys are adorable.
313
00:18:22,944 --> 00:18:24,980
I'm so happy to be
joining your family,
314
00:18:25,063 --> 00:18:26,231
Mr. and Mrs. Rothstein.
315
00:18:26,314 --> 00:18:28,024
Always a pleasure.
316
00:18:28,108 --> 00:18:29,859
- Ahem.
- I'm sorry. It's jetlag.
317
00:18:34,614 --> 00:18:37,367
Oh, what's the matter, Lance?
318
00:18:37,450 --> 00:18:40,120
Nothing.
I'm really happy for you two.
319
00:18:40,203 --> 00:18:41,579
But can I ask?
320
00:18:41,663 --> 00:18:43,331
Why do we all have to fly down
321
00:18:43,415 --> 00:18:46,418
to this Caribbean hellhole
for these nuptials?
322
00:18:46,501 --> 00:18:48,461
Why not have them at home?
Why not Canada?
323
00:18:48,545 --> 00:18:50,005
Lance, you're not even Canadian.
324
00:18:52,757 --> 00:18:54,676
Lance, what's wrong with you?
325
00:18:54,759 --> 00:18:56,970
- Don't you know where you're from?
- Ricky, please shut up.
326
00:18:57,053 --> 00:18:59,097
Oh, you hadn't heard?
327
00:18:59,180 --> 00:19:00,765
I'm an orphan.
328
00:19:00,849 --> 00:19:02,017
Oh, here we go.
329
00:19:02,100 --> 00:19:03,852
I didn't know you were adopted.
330
00:19:03,935 --> 00:19:05,603
Oh, that's true. I'm an orphan.
331
00:19:05,687 --> 00:19:08,690
All I ever really wanted
was to be taken in...
332
00:19:08,773 --> 00:19:10,792
...by a kind family and then finally...
333
00:19:10,875 --> 00:19:12,043
Manfred? Manfred...
334
00:19:12,127 --> 00:19:14,571
...these loving parents
came along and adopted me
335
00:19:14,654 --> 00:19:16,990
because they couldn't have
children on their own.
336
00:19:17,073 --> 00:19:18,199
It's... It's true.
337
00:19:19,617 --> 00:19:21,745
Until they did have a real kid, right?
338
00:19:21,828 --> 00:19:23,705
They were finally able to conceive
339
00:19:23,788 --> 00:19:27,751
and they had the miracle biological child,
the golden girl,
340
00:19:27,834 --> 00:19:31,588
and she just kind of, I don't know,
just took up all the love
341
00:19:31,671 --> 00:19:34,841
and old Lance just kind of got
lost in the shuffle.
342
00:19:36,634 --> 00:19:39,262
- The hell am I missing here?
- My life.
343
00:19:39,346 --> 00:19:42,265
- Well, that's nice.
- Okay. Well...
344
00:19:42,349 --> 00:19:44,184
You sound successful.
345
00:19:44,267 --> 00:19:48,688
- Wow. It's so soft.
- Sherry, Manfred, Lexi, thank you.
346
00:19:48,772 --> 00:19:53,651
And to your son, Tom,
I'd just like to say, uh,
347
00:19:53,735 --> 00:19:58,323
son, if you break her heart,
I'll kill you.
348
00:20:06,748 --> 00:20:08,583
That's a joke. It's just a joke.
349
00:20:08,666 --> 00:20:10,585
Good speech.
350
00:20:11,711 --> 00:20:14,589
- He's joking, he's joking. It's a joke.
- It's such a funny joke.
351
00:20:30,688 --> 00:20:32,649
Hi, super cute couple.
352
00:20:32,732 --> 00:20:35,610
Can I offer you
a pre-wedding trip beverage?
353
00:20:35,693 --> 00:20:37,028
Actually, I had a question.
354
00:20:37,112 --> 00:20:38,780
Um, when I was coming onto the plane,
355
00:20:38,863 --> 00:20:41,825
somebody was telling me
about, urn, a Club Mile High,
356
00:20:41,908 --> 00:20:44,536
and I was wondering if...
357
00:20:44,619 --> 00:20:48,957
um, is that like a credit card thing
where you have to sign up or do you, um...
358
00:20:49,040 --> 00:20:52,168
Do you get extra miles from that? Is it...
359
00:20:57,507 --> 00:21:00,218
Rude... Rude people on this plane...
Hey, baby, hey.
360
00:21:00,301 --> 00:21:01,636
- What happened?
- Nothing...
361
00:21:01,719 --> 00:21:03,304
I'm just checking.
Are you... You okay?
362
00:21:03,388 --> 00:21:06,224
You... you seem like
you were just like zoned out.
363
00:21:06,307 --> 00:21:09,477
Not... not really, no.
364
00:21:09,561 --> 00:21:11,896
Yeah, what's...
What's going on?
365
00:21:11,980 --> 00:21:14,858
- I just feel anxious and I...
- Oh, the flight?
366
00:21:14,941 --> 00:21:16,443
No, it's just the wedding.
367
00:21:16,526 --> 00:21:18,403
I... I just wanna make sure
everybody has fun.
368
00:21:18,486 --> 00:21:19,946
I just want this to be great.
369
00:21:20,029 --> 00:21:22,991
Babe, it's gonna be fantastic.
We prepped...
370
00:21:23,074 --> 00:21:24,626
- Okay.
- ...the shit out of this wedding.
371
00:21:24,709 --> 00:21:26,394
Okay. Just keep telling me that.
I need to hear it.
372
00:21:26,478 --> 00:21:28,328
We prepped the shit out of this wedding.
Say it with me.
373
00:21:28,329 --> 00:21:29,750
- We prepped the shit...
- Prepped the shit
374
00:21:29,806 --> 00:21:31,040
out of this wedding, yeah.
375
00:21:31,124 --> 00:21:32,292
- Okay.
- Yeah, we're good.
376
00:21:32,375 --> 00:21:33,801
Okay. Thanks, babe.
I feel better.
377
00:21:33,802 --> 00:21:35,853
- Great. Now just...
- I feel... I'm just gonna try to sleep.
378
00:21:35,937 --> 00:21:39,090
- Great. Just relax and...
- Okay.
379
00:21:52,353 --> 00:21:54,230
Do you wanna move over one?
380
00:21:55,565 --> 00:21:57,817
No, I really like the middle seat.
381
00:21:57,901 --> 00:22:00,653
Okay. I need you to take
your hand off my leg.
382
00:22:00,737 --> 00:22:02,530
- That's your leg?
- Yes.
383
00:22:02,614 --> 00:22:03,865
Do you moisturize it?
384
00:22:04,949 --> 00:22:06,701
I need you to remove your hand,
385
00:22:06,784 --> 00:22:10,330
or I'm going to show you
why my favorite movie is Rocky!
386
00:22:10,413 --> 00:22:12,207
Jesus.
387
00:22:13,291 --> 00:22:14,501
Hey.
388
00:22:49,911 --> 00:22:51,579
It's just turbulence.
389
00:22:54,207 --> 00:22:56,334
Ricky doesn't care.
390
00:22:59,921 --> 00:23:03,633
Oh, shit, you broke my nose!
391
00:23:03,716 --> 00:23:05,051
Damn it.
392
00:23:05,134 --> 00:23:07,136
Ladies and gentlemen,
due to severe weather,
393
00:23:07,220 --> 00:23:09,639
we're being rerouted
to the island of Jamaica.
394
00:23:09,722 --> 00:23:11,766
Cabin crew, prepare for landing.
395
00:23:21,276 --> 00:23:22,735
Babe...
396
00:23:22,819 --> 00:23:26,614
- Yeah.
- Yeah. Uh... put your seatbelt on.
397
00:23:27,615 --> 00:23:29,701
- We're here?
- We're close.
398
00:23:29,784 --> 00:23:32,537
Okay. Okay.
399
00:23:38,626 --> 00:23:39,836
Until further notice,
400
00:23:39,919 --> 00:23:43,423
all flights to the Bahamas are cancelled
due to severe weather.
401
00:23:43,506 --> 00:23:46,843
We're supposed to be
getting married in four days.
402
00:23:46,926 --> 00:23:48,803
Babe, it's gonna be fine, okay?
We're gonna get...
403
00:23:48,886 --> 00:23:50,013
How are we gonna find a resort?
404
00:23:50,096 --> 00:23:52,490
I'm... I'll... I'll take care of it.
It's just gonna be a minor hurdle.
405
00:23:52,573 --> 00:23:54,517
- There's no way.
- I think this is very exciting.
406
00:23:54,601 --> 00:23:56,185
Yeah. And pretty scary, eh?
407
00:23:56,269 --> 00:23:58,187
Representative, please.
408
00:23:58,271 --> 00:24:01,391
Your call
is very important to us. Please...
409
00:24:01,474 --> 00:24:03,568
- Get our flights figured out.
- No, no... it's gonna be okay.
410
00:24:03,651 --> 00:24:05,670
It's gonna be great. Okay?
And I'm gonna get a hotel for us,
411
00:24:05,671 --> 00:24:06,863
and we're gonna...
I'm gonna find...
412
00:24:06,946 --> 00:24:08,656
I didn't pack...
413
00:24:15,038 --> 00:24:17,123
- Yeah, mon.
- No seeds and stems, all right?
414
00:24:17,206 --> 00:24:18,583
No guarantees, mon.
415
00:24:18,666 --> 00:24:21,210
Come on, dude, hook me up, hook me up.
416
00:24:21,294 --> 00:24:23,671
♪ In the government yard in Trenchtown ♪
417
00:24:27,050 --> 00:24:29,552
Oh, what happened to your nose?
418
00:24:29,636 --> 00:24:32,555
Hey, mon! Welcome to my island.
419
00:24:32,639 --> 00:24:35,567
I am a Rasta Man, a native of Jamaica.
420
00:24:35,568 --> 00:24:37,677
I'm sorry, could you just give us...
Give us one second, sorry.
421
00:24:37,760 --> 00:24:39,979
You like the weed?
You like them girls?
422
00:24:40,063 --> 00:24:42,649
No, we... We just had
an emergency land here,
423
00:24:42,732 --> 00:24:44,292
we're trying to look
for a hotel for my family.
424
00:24:44,375 --> 00:24:47,987
- So, can you just like...
- Yeah, mon. This is fit, my friend.
425
00:24:48,071 --> 00:24:51,532
Real talk, uh, my name is Ira Goldstein,
I'm actually from Long Island.
426
00:24:51,616 --> 00:24:53,242
I work for a hotel in Negril,
427
00:24:53,326 --> 00:24:56,245
and I can get you guys
a great deal, five-star resort.
428
00:24:56,329 --> 00:24:58,247
- We're talking beautiful pools...
- Yeah.
429
00:24:58,331 --> 00:25:01,376
- ...hot tubs, luxurious rooms.
- Wow.
430
00:25:01,459 --> 00:25:02,460
- Yeah. Yeah?
- Hot tub, pool?
431
00:25:02,543 --> 00:25:05,046
Okay. Yeah, yeah.
You guys... You guys do weddings?
432
00:25:05,129 --> 00:25:08,758
We do it all, mon, all inclusive.
433
00:25:35,576 --> 00:25:36,828
What?
434
00:25:36,911 --> 00:25:40,289
Nothing, mon. You look good, is all.
Real good, mon.
435
00:25:42,291 --> 00:25:44,460
Oh, I'm sorry, uh, I'm not...
436
00:25:44,544 --> 00:25:48,339
Oh, I'm not into you in that way,
uh, I'm not gay or anything.
437
00:25:48,423 --> 00:25:50,399
Not... Not that I have any problem
with anybody who is gay.
438
00:25:50,483 --> 00:25:52,760
It's just I tried it out once
before I got married,
439
00:25:52,844 --> 00:25:55,763
and it just really wasn't for me,
you know what I mean?
440
00:25:55,847 --> 00:25:58,891
Me and my wife Lakesha, mon,
we're gonna open up
441
00:25:58,975 --> 00:26:02,478
the most beautiful dry cleaner
right here in Negril.
442
00:26:02,562 --> 00:26:05,064
See, so it's
sort of a family business, mon.
443
00:26:05,148 --> 00:26:07,859
We're gonna call it
Jamaican Ass Do Your Laundry.
444
00:26:07,942 --> 00:26:11,696
We do all your dirty laundry.
Yeah, mon.
445
00:26:21,998 --> 00:26:25,626
Welcome to Hedonism II,
where all your dreams come true.
446
00:26:28,212 --> 00:26:30,631
Winston, I need you to take over,
I got to take a poop.
447
00:26:32,467 --> 00:26:33,968
Welcome, friends.
448
00:26:34,051 --> 00:26:36,763
I'm glad you made it
safely through the storm.
449
00:26:36,846 --> 00:26:38,014
My name is Winston and...
450
00:26:38,097 --> 00:26:39,932
We... We've had a very long day.
451
00:26:40,016 --> 00:26:41,517
Ira said our rooms would be ready.
452
00:26:42,518 --> 00:26:44,729
Sorry, we're just really tired, eh.
453
00:26:44,812 --> 00:26:47,440
- And a little emotional.
- Where's the bar?
454
00:27:01,621 --> 00:27:03,247
- Papa?
- Hmm?
455
00:27:03,331 --> 00:27:07,418
Our daughter is only getting
married once... I hope.
456
00:27:07,502 --> 00:27:10,546
And if you wanna sit back,
relax, and massage those toes,
457
00:27:10,630 --> 00:27:11,798
you deserve it.
458
00:27:11,881 --> 00:27:16,302
No, no, no. We deserve it, Mama.
459
00:27:16,385 --> 00:27:19,180
Should I slip into something
more comfortable?
460
00:27:19,263 --> 00:27:21,516
Ooh, I like that idea.
461
00:27:21,599 --> 00:27:23,518
This was my mama's muumuu.
462
00:27:23,601 --> 00:27:25,686
I always liked your mama, eh?
463
00:27:25,770 --> 00:27:28,606
I'll be back.
464
00:27:42,370 --> 00:27:44,288
Not bad.
465
00:27:44,372 --> 00:27:45,790
Not bad at all.
466
00:27:47,208 --> 00:27:48,209
Hmm.
467
00:27:54,382 --> 00:27:56,509
Ooh, jackpot.
468
00:27:57,510 --> 00:27:58,928
Hey, blondie, where you going?
469
00:27:59,011 --> 00:28:00,680
I'm going back to my room.
What are you doing?
470
00:28:01,764 --> 00:28:04,308
Can Ijoin you?
471
00:28:04,392 --> 00:28:05,852
Sure.
472
00:28:05,935 --> 00:28:08,354
- Are you sure?
- Why not?
473
00:28:08,437 --> 00:28:11,607
- Me? Really?
- Yeah.
474
00:28:11,691 --> 00:28:13,025
- Let's go.
- Okay.
475
00:28:13,109 --> 00:28:15,820
- Are you sure?
- Are you gonna take good care of me?
476
00:28:15,903 --> 00:28:17,989
I mean, this isn't a prank, is it?
477
00:28:21,617 --> 00:28:24,829
Baby, I am the luckiest guy in the world.
478
00:28:24,912 --> 00:28:28,916
Tell me about it. Maybe we should
just stay here for the rest of vacation.
479
00:28:29,000 --> 00:28:30,751
So down.
480
00:28:30,835 --> 00:28:33,754
Hey, look, I know that this,
you know, isn't what we planned,
481
00:28:33,838 --> 00:28:36,173
and I know the past few days have been
an emotional rollerooaster,
482
00:28:36,257 --> 00:28:37,258
to say the least.
483
00:28:37,341 --> 00:28:40,595
But I promise you, you're gonna have
the wedding of your dreams, okay?
484
00:28:40,678 --> 00:28:42,847
- You do?
- Yeah.
485
00:28:42,930 --> 00:28:44,599
I have a really good feeling
about this place.
486
00:28:45,600 --> 00:28:49,395
Okay. I know it's not
what we planned, but...
487
00:28:49,478 --> 00:28:50,980
I trust you.
488
00:28:51,063 --> 00:28:54,233
- I love you.
- I love you,
489
00:28:54,317 --> 00:28:58,195
- Mr. McGursky-Fairfax Rothstein.
- Oh, no, no, no.
490
00:28:58,279 --> 00:29:00,740
It's Mr. Fairfax Rothstein-McGursky
if we're gonna do that.
491
00:29:00,823 --> 00:29:03,034
Oh, well, looks like you have
some convincing to do.
492
00:29:03,117 --> 00:29:04,911
I don't think so. Okay.
493
00:29:27,808 --> 00:29:29,560
This is where you'll be married...
494
00:29:31,228 --> 00:29:33,481
on your very special day.
495
00:29:33,564 --> 00:29:35,066
What do you think?
496
00:29:36,233 --> 00:29:37,777
We love it.
497
00:29:37,860 --> 00:29:39,695
Wonderful.
498
00:29:45,993 --> 00:29:48,245
Look at these trees!
499
00:29:48,329 --> 00:29:50,539
This place is paradise!
500
00:29:50,623 --> 00:29:52,291
They all look the same.
501
00:29:52,375 --> 00:29:55,002
- You all right there, Papa?
- Right behind you, Mama.
502
00:29:55,086 --> 00:29:57,171
Exactly where I like you.
503
00:29:57,254 --> 00:29:58,839
I trained you well.
504
00:29:58,923 --> 00:30:00,967
- Oh, oh!
- What is it? What is it?
505
00:30:02,385 --> 00:30:04,011
Do you know what that is?
506
00:30:04,095 --> 00:30:06,055
- What is it?
- If I'm right,
507
00:30:06,138 --> 00:30:08,140
the girls at Simonson's
Portage Trail Nature Club
508
00:30:08,224 --> 00:30:09,684
are gonna be green with envy.
509
00:30:09,767 --> 00:30:12,687
I think
that's a Lesser Antilles bullfinch.
510
00:30:12,770 --> 00:30:14,772
- The less... The lesser?
- The lesser.
511
00:30:14,855 --> 00:30:17,108
The only species of bird
512
00:30:17,191 --> 00:30:20,778
where the female eats her mate
after she copulates.
513
00:30:22,279 --> 00:30:24,782
- Oh.
- What's that?
514
00:30:27,618 --> 00:30:29,036
Yes.
515
00:30:33,874 --> 00:30:36,585
- Oh, oh, you okay?
- Yes!
516
00:30:36,669 --> 00:30:39,672
Oh, bird spunk!
517
00:30:39,755 --> 00:30:41,716
Nice.
518
00:30:41,799 --> 00:30:42,967
A souvenir!
519
00:30:43,050 --> 00:30:44,468
Oh, yeah.
520
00:30:44,552 --> 00:30:46,721
Betty Jean Davidson
can't top that.
521
00:30:46,804 --> 00:30:48,806
All right.
Close your eyes, keep them closed.
522
00:30:50,975 --> 00:30:53,144
You're... You're...
Don't ruin the surprise.
523
00:30:53,227 --> 00:30:55,479
All right. Here we go.
All right. Open your mouth, give me...
524
00:30:55,563 --> 00:30:56,564
Give me a little tongue.
525
00:30:58,524 --> 00:31:00,359
And, okay, what do you...
What do you think of that one?
526
00:31:00,443 --> 00:31:01,986
- So good.
- Right?
527
00:31:02,069 --> 00:31:03,195
- So good.
- Yeah.
528
00:31:03,279 --> 00:31:04,613
- So, now...
- That's the one.
529
00:31:04,697 --> 00:31:06,507
No, no, no, you gotta try more,
you gotta try them all.
530
00:31:06,590 --> 00:31:08,034
- Oh, my gosh.
- All right.
531
00:31:09,660 --> 00:31:12,997
All right. What do you
think of that one? Oh.
532
00:31:13,080 --> 00:31:14,165
Okay.
533
00:31:14,248 --> 00:31:17,168
That one's really good, too.
Did you try that one?
534
00:31:18,502 --> 00:31:19,503
What?
535
00:31:30,848 --> 00:31:32,641
I think...
I think it's a Caribbean thing.
536
00:31:34,060 --> 00:31:35,436
Yeah. It's the...
537
00:31:35,519 --> 00:31:37,897
Probably the only person
like that we're gonna see.
538
00:31:37,980 --> 00:31:40,441
She probably...
She's a native, I think.
539
00:31:51,202 --> 00:31:53,329
Okay. Okay.
540
00:31:53,412 --> 00:31:56,582
Mr. Manfred, sir.
How you doing, mon?
541
00:31:56,665 --> 00:31:57,750
Bloody Mary, please.
542
00:31:57,833 --> 00:32:01,420
Look, I know you're a very busy man,
you're here on vacation with your family,
543
00:32:01,504 --> 00:32:05,216
but I would love to schedule some time
to talk about my business proposal.
544
00:32:05,299 --> 00:32:07,676
Open up the dry cleaning
here on the island.
545
00:32:07,760 --> 00:32:10,721
Get this, one-hour dry cleaning.
546
00:32:10,805 --> 00:32:13,099
Well, hello, handsome.
547
00:32:13,182 --> 00:32:15,810
Sorry, I'm, uh, I'm actually
married, I don't swing.
548
00:32:15,893 --> 00:32:19,480
- I love me a silver fox.
- We'll talk, Mr. Manfred.
549
00:32:19,563 --> 00:32:21,315
What's your name?
550
00:32:21,398 --> 00:32:23,859
What's a silver fox?
I'm sorry, do we know each other?
551
00:32:39,917 --> 00:32:43,379
- Hi, darling.
- Hi, ladies.
552
00:32:47,383 --> 00:32:50,261
You know, it's been years since I've had
a professional massage.
553
00:32:51,554 --> 00:32:55,766
Not quite sure how I feel about another
man's hands running all over my body.
554
00:32:55,850 --> 00:32:59,854
I think Papa would prefer it
if I had a lady.
555
00:32:59,937 --> 00:33:01,438
Where's the fun in that?
556
00:33:01,522 --> 00:33:04,775
Uh, when's the last time
your husband gave you a proper massage?
557
00:33:04,859 --> 00:33:06,235
You know, you're right.
558
00:33:06,318 --> 00:33:09,113
Papa usually just likes
to get right to it.
559
00:33:09,196 --> 00:33:12,158
Last time your father used his mouth
for anything other than...
560
00:33:12,241 --> 00:33:13,717
- Morn, come on.
- Yes, dear, you're right.
561
00:33:13,801 --> 00:33:16,036
- That's too much information.
- No! Too much. Uh-uh.
562
00:33:16,037 --> 00:33:17,446
I'm sorry. Yes, you're right.
You're right.
563
00:33:17,529 --> 00:33:18,539
- No.
- I apologize. I don't...
564
00:33:18,622 --> 00:33:21,709
I just hope that my masseur has,
like, strong hands, you know.
565
00:33:57,953 --> 00:34:01,749
Hello. Are you ladies ready?
566
00:34:02,750 --> 00:34:05,669
Oh... oh.
567
00:34:06,962 --> 00:34:08,422
Take that off. Take that ring off.
568
00:34:09,882 --> 00:34:12,426
Oh, my God, yes.
569
00:34:12,509 --> 00:34:13,761
Uh-huh.
570
00:34:13,844 --> 00:34:15,221
Mmm...
571
00:34:24,313 --> 00:34:27,233
Uh-huh.
572
00:34:27,316 --> 00:34:29,526
Mm-hm.
573
00:34:31,862 --> 00:34:33,572
That's great. Yeah.
574
00:34:36,200 --> 00:34:37,868
Mmm...
575
00:34:37,952 --> 00:34:39,245
You know, my family's here.
576
00:34:39,328 --> 00:34:41,288
I didn't realize
how stressful it was gonna be.
577
00:34:41,372 --> 00:34:45,251
Family is just
so boring, you know.
578
00:34:45,334 --> 00:34:48,796
Why bring family?
You should choose your friends.
579
00:34:48,879 --> 00:34:53,092
And I tell you what,
I can be your little friend.
580
00:34:55,511 --> 00:34:57,263
You know, actually,
I'm really excited, though,
581
00:34:57,346 --> 00:35:00,349
I can't wait to move on with Torn.
582
00:35:00,432 --> 00:35:03,143
I mean, I'm in it for life.
I'm excited.
583
00:35:03,227 --> 00:35:04,645
I can't wait, either.
584
00:35:04,728 --> 00:35:08,524
You see, uh, sometimes
the unexpected detours in life
585
00:35:08,607 --> 00:35:13,028
make the greatest adventure.
586
00:35:14,029 --> 00:35:15,322
That's a little low, sir.
587
00:35:15,406 --> 00:35:18,826
You were booked for the full package.
588
00:35:18,909 --> 00:35:21,036
- I'm getting married.
- I know.
589
00:35:21,120 --> 00:35:22,955
Congratulations.
590
00:35:26,083 --> 00:35:29,503
This is not what I meant
by full package!
591
00:35:29,586 --> 00:35:31,672
I'm sorry for the bad touch!
592
00:35:32,798 --> 00:35:35,134
Well, that got weird quick.
593
00:35:35,217 --> 00:35:36,719
I know, right?
594
00:35:36,802 --> 00:35:37,986
- Get out!
- Okay.
595
00:35:38,070 --> 00:35:40,431
Nobody touches
the honey pot but Papa Bear!
596
00:35:40,514 --> 00:35:42,057
That is one crazy white woman.
597
00:35:42,141 --> 00:35:45,978
Ah, just what the doctor ordered.
What are you looking at?
598
00:35:46,061 --> 00:35:48,522
- Yes, yes, yes.
- Morn?
599
00:35:48,605 --> 00:35:51,066
Oh, my God, what kind of a resort is this?
600
00:35:51,150 --> 00:35:53,402
I don't know, but I love it.
601
00:35:53,485 --> 00:35:56,655
Hey, where's the ocean?
That's what I'm talking about.
602
00:35:56,739 --> 00:36:00,409
Yay, get a little pina colada.
Pursue pleasure, indeed.
603
00:36:00,492 --> 00:36:01,869
A swingers resort, Tom?
604
00:36:01,952 --> 00:36:03,704
There is no way this is gonna work.
605
00:36:03,787 --> 00:36:07,166
We don't have food, flowers,
the little doily things for the table.
606
00:36:07,249 --> 00:36:09,209
Did you see that guy?
He was like a dick with teeth!
607
00:36:09,293 --> 00:36:12,296
So, is this what's it like
in your big American cities, then?
608
00:36:12,379 --> 00:36:13,672
No, it's Jamaica, man.
609
00:36:13,756 --> 00:36:15,215
Fortunately, I'm not a prude,
610
00:36:15,299 --> 00:36:17,051
because everything
around here is having sex,
611
00:36:17,134 --> 00:36:19,345
especially the birds.
612
00:36:19,428 --> 00:36:23,015
Well, this place is paradise!
613
00:36:23,098 --> 00:36:25,642
Lance, my boy.
How was your trip in, son?
614
00:36:25,726 --> 00:36:26,894
Pretty good. Pretty good.
615
00:36:26,977 --> 00:36:28,187
- Hi, Lance.
- Hi, Morn.
616
00:36:28,270 --> 00:36:32,149
Oh, where are we?
This is the...
617
00:36:32,232 --> 00:36:35,652
I'm sorry, I'm just a little confused.
Why is everybody so upset?
618
00:36:35,736 --> 00:36:37,905
I mean, what's going on?
I mean, how happy are we
619
00:36:37,988 --> 00:36:40,616
that we're not up in Manitoba
for this wedding, right?
620
00:36:44,161 --> 00:36:46,997
I'm getting married at a swingers resort.
621
00:36:50,501 --> 00:36:53,087
A swingers resort,
like a nudist colony?
622
00:36:53,170 --> 00:36:54,922
What... are you kidding me?
623
00:36:55,005 --> 00:36:57,674
All right, this all goes back to Tom.
This is Tom's fault.
624
00:36:57,758 --> 00:37:00,969
This is a nudist colony?
You're sick, buddy!
625
00:37:01,053 --> 00:37:05,015
All right. Everybody just calm down,
let's figure out a plan B.
626
00:37:09,561 --> 00:37:11,230
- Yup.
- Hi, there.
627
00:37:11,313 --> 00:37:13,190
I'm Lance,
are you the manager of this place?
628
00:37:13,273 --> 00:37:16,652
Absolutely. Make yourself comfortable,
take your jacket off.
629
00:37:16,735 --> 00:37:18,737
Okay, thank you.
630
00:37:18,821 --> 00:37:20,223
Thanks.
631
00:37:20,306 --> 00:37:22,449
Hey, while you're at it, go ahead
and take your pants off, too.
632
00:37:22,533 --> 00:37:25,077
- I'm sorry?
- If you want.
633
00:37:25,160 --> 00:37:27,579
My Pants?
634
00:37:27,663 --> 00:37:29,331
Well, I'm okay, thanks.
635
00:37:32,292 --> 00:37:33,669
How can I help you, Larry?
636
00:37:33,752 --> 00:37:35,337
It's Lance, but that's okay.
637
00:37:35,421 --> 00:37:38,298
- Well, I wanted to lodge a com...
- Oh, you like that?
638
00:37:38,382 --> 00:37:40,467
It's my ex-wife, former guest.
639
00:37:40,551 --> 00:37:41,927
I wanted to lodge a complaint.
640
00:37:42,010 --> 00:37:43,637
Ooh...
641
00:37:44,638 --> 00:37:46,473
You had me worried for a second.
642
00:37:46,557 --> 00:37:49,435
I have a lot of guests come in
here wanting to lodge something,
643
00:37:49,518 --> 00:37:50,727
usually not complaints.
644
00:37:52,980 --> 00:37:58,861
Upper management, at a beautiful
adult swingers resort.
645
00:37:58,944 --> 00:38:00,154
And for the life of me,
646
00:38:00,237 --> 00:38:04,324
I cannot walk out those office doors
without a top or bottom.
647
00:38:04,408 --> 00:38:06,326
Can I help you, Larry?
648
00:38:06,410 --> 00:38:11,123
Well, uh, first of all, this is a topnotch
resort, so congratulations to you.
649
00:38:11,206 --> 00:38:13,250
Um, I was just... Had a question
about the activities.
650
00:38:13,333 --> 00:38:17,087
There's zip line, paragliding,
bungee jumping.
651
00:38:17,171 --> 00:38:21,258
All nude. Those are all totally nude
activities you've mentioned.
652
00:38:21,341 --> 00:38:23,177
That's true.
653
00:38:23,260 --> 00:38:26,805
Actually, the bungee jump is closed
due to an incident last week.
654
00:38:26,889 --> 00:38:30,601
A guy, older fellow...
late 70s, early 80s... jumps.
655
00:38:30,684 --> 00:38:34,563
Old-timer's got incredible form,
his head is at a safe distance,
656
00:38:34,646 --> 00:38:39,193
but his balls extend just enough
to tap the sand really hard.
657
00:38:40,194 --> 00:38:42,154
Put him in the hospital...
658
00:38:42,237 --> 00:38:43,739
died the next day.
659
00:38:44,823 --> 00:38:46,617
I'm sorry to hear that.
660
00:38:46,700 --> 00:38:50,120
Nothing related to the bungee jump.
661
00:38:50,204 --> 00:38:52,206
My condolences.
662
00:38:52,289 --> 00:38:53,724
I think I understand
what's happening here.
663
00:38:53,807 --> 00:38:56,001
Look, my sister is getting married
this weekend,
664
00:38:56,084 --> 00:38:57,669
albeit to a total putz,
665
00:38:57,753 --> 00:38:59,880
but still, I wanna make sure
it's special for her
666
00:38:59,963 --> 00:39:01,882
and not a sex surge, do you understand?
667
00:39:12,851 --> 00:39:15,103
I got to thank you for your concerns.
668
00:39:15,187 --> 00:39:20,359
I'm taking baby steps to improving
the staff tact around here,
669
00:39:20,442 --> 00:39:21,735
you know what I mean?
670
00:39:21,818 --> 00:39:24,029
I think you do.
671
00:39:24,112 --> 00:39:26,073
Here's what I'm gonna do for you, Vance.
672
00:39:26,156 --> 00:39:28,450
To make sure your stay is comfortable,
673
00:39:28,534 --> 00:39:32,079
I'm gonna give you Groupons
to our best clothing optional classes.
674
00:39:32,162 --> 00:39:34,873
Try to enjoy yourselves.
Take it slow, too.
675
00:39:37,167 --> 00:39:40,462
And that's my advice to you,
Vince, that you do the same.
676
00:39:43,090 --> 00:39:46,051
Oh, look, yoga class, look at that move.
677
00:39:46,134 --> 00:39:48,053
Oh...
678
00:39:48,136 --> 00:39:52,140
Well, no, that is nude yoga.
She is flexible.
679
00:40:12,202 --> 00:40:14,246
No, Bill, can you hear me?
680
00:40:15,789 --> 00:40:17,708
Sure you don't wanna
come with us?
681
00:40:20,752 --> 00:40:25,632
Look, I hate to have to say this, pal,
but, uh, we're enemies now.
682
00:40:25,716 --> 00:40:28,468
You ought to know something about me, Tom.
683
00:40:28,552 --> 00:40:31,805
I have a certain set of skills.
Do you know what Krav Maga is?
684
00:40:32,806 --> 00:40:34,057
No.
685
00:40:34,141 --> 00:40:36,810
See this, Torn? It's a fist.
686
00:40:36,893 --> 00:40:40,689
And it might be small,
delicate even, like a snowflake,
687
00:40:40,772 --> 00:40:44,359
but it's not the size that matters.
It's what you do with it.
688
00:40:44,443 --> 00:40:49,031
If you so much as harm
my baby sister in the slightest,
689
00:40:49,114 --> 00:40:52,367
not even the splendid Canadian
nationalized healthcare system
690
00:40:52,451 --> 00:40:54,077
will be able to save you.
691
00:40:54,161 --> 00:40:56,997
And by the way,
that hat's fucking stupid.
692
00:40:58,540 --> 00:41:00,917
Lance, you should come, buddy.
693
00:41:01,001 --> 00:41:05,172
We got a bunch of guys,
no women, it's a perfect sausage-fest.
694
00:41:05,255 --> 00:41:08,508
I like you, Rick, I do,
but, uh, I got a meeting.
695
00:41:08,592 --> 00:41:10,385
Lance, son.
696
00:41:10,469 --> 00:41:12,846
That boy...
697
00:41:12,929 --> 00:41:17,976
Won't swim, won't play hockey,
always got an excuse.
698
00:41:34,451 --> 00:41:36,495
This day has been so good.
699
00:41:36,578 --> 00:41:38,830
You boys done got your sea legs, mon?
700
00:41:38,914 --> 00:41:40,082
Yeah, mon.
701
00:41:40,165 --> 00:41:42,209
- That's what I'm talking about.
- Yeah.
702
00:41:43,752 --> 00:41:45,712
Canadian beer, looks good...
703
00:41:47,839 --> 00:41:49,758
Wow, but it's not.
704
00:41:49,841 --> 00:41:53,595
Moose Knuckle, that's funny.
705
00:41:53,679 --> 00:41:56,014
Torn, Mama says
you designed this label.
706
00:41:56,098 --> 00:41:57,349
Yeah, I did.
707
00:41:57,432 --> 00:41:59,101
Wait, wait.
You designed this label, Tom?
708
00:41:59,184 --> 00:42:00,602
Mm-hmm.
709
00:42:00,686 --> 00:42:02,688
- Oh, that's pretty cool, pal.
- Thanks, Dad.
710
00:42:02,771 --> 00:42:04,481
Can I get you boys some weed?
711
00:42:04,564 --> 00:42:08,110
Home grown,
I call it the Rasta Jew, man.
712
00:42:08,193 --> 00:42:09,586
- That's what I call it, man.
- No, I...
713
00:42:09,669 --> 00:42:12,322
I'd end up on the front of that boat
passed out.
714
00:42:12,406 --> 00:42:14,116
That's what happened to the captain.
715
00:42:14,199 --> 00:42:16,451
That's why I'm driving the boat.
716
00:42:16,535 --> 00:42:18,161
- Rasta Jew?
- Yeah, man.
717
00:42:18,245 --> 00:42:19,913
- I'm in.
- Yeah, man.
718
00:42:55,699 --> 00:42:57,743
Goddamn.
719
00:42:57,826 --> 00:43:00,287
This is exactly what my old buns needed.
720
00:43:01,872 --> 00:43:03,415
- Mine, too.
- Oh, oh.
721
00:43:03,498 --> 00:43:05,250
What do you all know about being old?
722
00:43:05,333 --> 00:43:08,044
I have shoes older than the both of you.
723
00:43:08,128 --> 00:43:11,548
- I have a present for you.
- Georgia, where'd you get...
724
00:43:11,631 --> 00:43:13,967
- Nice.
- You light that thing up.
725
00:43:14,050 --> 00:43:18,930
Oh! Oh, it's been over 30 years
since I've had a whiff of them, um...
726
00:43:19,014 --> 00:43:22,058
Weed, grass, ganja, gateway drug, yeah.
727
00:43:23,560 --> 00:43:25,687
You know, it seems like just yesterday
728
00:43:25,771 --> 00:43:30,358
we were at Kappa Delta Pi,
doing Jello shots off the swim team boys.
729
00:43:30,442 --> 00:43:31,860
Honestly, we'd start with one up here
730
00:43:31,943 --> 00:43:33,904
- and then you sort of work your way down.
- Hey, Georgia?
731
00:43:33,987 --> 00:43:37,365
Stop, that's my mother-in-law.
732
00:43:37,449 --> 00:43:40,202
At the end of the semester,
I had no gag reflex.
733
00:43:40,285 --> 00:43:42,370
That's the only thing
I got out of college, too.
734
00:43:42,454 --> 00:43:45,540
- Right?
- Honey, I am sure that Sherry and I
735
00:43:45,624 --> 00:43:49,211
both have done things we're not
necessarily proud of in our past.
736
00:43:49,294 --> 00:43:51,296
- I used to be a very dirty girl.
- Morn, stop it.
737
00:43:51,297 --> 00:43:53,081
- No.
- Very. They used to call me Mud Pie.
738
00:43:53,164 --> 00:43:54,165
No!
739
00:44:05,936 --> 00:44:08,104
How you doing?
You got anything, uh,
740
00:44:08,188 --> 00:44:11,691
kind of healthy for somebody
who's trying to get back into shape?
741
00:44:11,775 --> 00:44:15,153
- I got that weed.
- Okay. Thank you.
742
00:44:15,237 --> 00:44:16,863
Looks great. Appreciate it.
743
00:44:16,947 --> 00:44:17,989
I'll have one of those.
744
00:44:20,575 --> 00:44:23,495
You know what?
It's on me, there you go.
745
00:44:23,578 --> 00:44:25,622
It's all-inclusive.
746
00:44:25,705 --> 00:44:27,541
Okay, well, second one's on me, too.
747
00:44:27,624 --> 00:44:29,751
Oh, you're such a gentleman.
748
00:44:29,835 --> 00:44:31,294
Where I come from, I believe...
749
00:44:31,378 --> 00:44:33,296
it's my theory that a woman
such as yourself
750
00:44:33,380 --> 00:44:35,841
should, you know, be treated like a lady.
751
00:44:35,924 --> 00:44:38,051
Where are you from?
752
00:44:38,134 --> 00:44:41,638
I'm from Canada
by way of, uh, Mississippi.
753
00:44:42,764 --> 00:44:45,267
How can you be Canadian from Mississippi?
754
00:44:46,309 --> 00:44:51,314
Well, it's...
Uh, it's a little complicated, you know?
755
00:44:51,398 --> 00:44:54,276
I know complicated.
I was left at the altar.
756
00:44:54,359 --> 00:44:56,903
I woke up yesterday
and my fiance was gone.
757
00:44:58,947 --> 00:45:03,201
Uh... you were left at the altar?
758
00:45:04,619 --> 00:45:06,913
I'd like to meet the son of a bitch,
excuse my language,
759
00:45:06,997 --> 00:45:08,415
that left you at the altar.
760
00:45:08,498 --> 00:45:10,876
That was crazy enough
to leave you at the altar
761
00:45:10,959 --> 00:45:13,044
and teach him a thing or two
about chivalry.
762
00:45:13,128 --> 00:45:15,046
What, teach him...
Teach him about some weed?
763
00:45:15,130 --> 00:45:16,506
No, thanks.
Not right now, hoss.
764
00:45:16,590 --> 00:45:17,757
You know what?
765
00:45:17,841 --> 00:45:20,385
Let's not even think about it, all right?
766
00:45:20,468 --> 00:45:22,095
Here's to new beginnings.
767
00:45:23,805 --> 00:45:26,099
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
768
00:45:26,182 --> 00:45:29,060
Mango-carrot fusion.
Here's to it.
769
00:45:29,144 --> 00:45:33,356
♪ Jamaica is my home ♪
770
00:45:33,440 --> 00:45:36,818
♪ Oh, Jamaica is my home ♪
771
00:45:36,902 --> 00:45:38,570
- Get it?
- Mm-hmm.
772
00:45:38,653 --> 00:45:41,114
- ♪ Jamaica is my home ♪
- That's a small fish.
773
00:45:41,197 --> 00:45:42,699
I know, I thought
it would be a lot bigger.
774
00:45:42,782 --> 00:45:45,201
Sounds like you've been
enjoying yourself, mon.
775
00:45:45,285 --> 00:45:46,745
Yeah, mon.
776
00:45:46,828 --> 00:45:48,955
You gotta get yourself
a nice Jamaican woman
777
00:45:49,039 --> 00:45:51,917
to make you some
of that good jerk chicken, man.
778
00:45:52,000 --> 00:45:53,919
Hey, anybody else
wanna go out for a swim?
779
00:45:54,002 --> 00:45:55,587
No, mon. Don't do it.
780
00:45:55,670 --> 00:45:59,007
The water's beautiful.
Why can't we jump in?
781
00:45:59,090 --> 00:46:02,218
What happens at Hedonism
stays at Hedonism.
782
00:46:02,302 --> 00:46:04,888
But the sea, she remembers, man.
783
00:46:07,724 --> 00:46:09,851
Few years back,
some of the more adventurous guests
784
00:46:09,935 --> 00:46:13,438
would have the hotel ferry them
out right to this spot here.
785
00:46:13,521 --> 00:46:15,899
They'd take the current
all the way back in,
786
00:46:15,982 --> 00:46:17,692
screwing the whole way.
787
00:46:17,776 --> 00:46:19,945
Called it riding the dolphin, man.
788
00:46:20,028 --> 00:46:22,238
What the hell are you talking about?
789
00:46:23,406 --> 00:46:26,284
That was before
the real dolphins joined in.
790
00:46:26,368 --> 00:46:30,705
Maybe it was the smell,
all them juices percolating in the water.
791
00:46:30,789 --> 00:46:35,418
First they followed them into the shore,
almost like they was protecting them, mon.
792
00:46:36,628 --> 00:46:42,300
Then one sunset, the dolphin jump up,
knocked the man right off his woman.
793
00:46:49,808 --> 00:46:52,352
Empty bikini washed up on shore, mon.
794
00:46:53,436 --> 00:46:56,398
Ever since, no fucking in the lagoon.
795
00:46:56,481 --> 00:46:59,150
And no swimming in this spot right here.
796
00:46:59,234 --> 00:47:01,528
- I'm not going swimming.
- I'm not going in.
797
00:47:03,571 --> 00:47:06,533
I'm fucking with you guys.
798
00:47:21,006 --> 00:47:22,382
Why does...
799
00:47:22,465 --> 00:47:27,137
Why do people
always misinterpret who I actually am?
800
00:47:27,220 --> 00:47:30,015
I don't get it.
Everybody seems to like this guy.
801
00:47:30,098 --> 00:47:33,309
I don't get it. I'm just... it's over.
802
00:47:33,393 --> 00:47:35,562
Dolphins?
803
00:47:36,855 --> 00:47:39,691
Sherry, Sherry, tell us
some of your wild tales.
804
00:47:39,774 --> 00:47:41,317
All right, that's...
That's it, stop.
805
00:47:41,401 --> 00:47:45,030
I don't think we need to go there.
Maybe just another time?
806
00:47:45,113 --> 00:47:46,239
Chill out.
807
00:47:46,322 --> 00:47:47,949
Chill out, babe, come on.
808
00:47:48,033 --> 00:47:49,117
Oh.
809
00:47:53,621 --> 00:47:55,749
You ladies mind if I join?
810
00:47:55,832 --> 00:47:56,958
Yeah... No.
811
00:47:57,042 --> 00:47:58,710
No. No. Please.
812
00:47:59,711 --> 00:48:01,212
Please.
813
00:48:11,014 --> 00:48:14,184
Um, would you like, urn, to...
To suck... I mean, blow...
814
00:48:14,267 --> 00:48:17,979
Um, do...
Do you want some?
815
00:48:18,063 --> 00:48:21,733
Ladies, ladies.
816
00:48:21,816 --> 00:48:24,194
- I don't bite.
- Really?
817
00:48:24,277 --> 00:48:26,154
Unless you want me to.
818
00:48:36,998 --> 00:48:38,374
- Fish up.
- Pull, pull it in.
819
00:48:38,458 --> 00:48:40,502
Got it. He's coming up.
He's coming up.
820
00:48:40,585 --> 00:48:42,921
- Pull it and get the hook, Torn.
- He's coming up. He's coming up.
821
00:48:43,004 --> 00:48:44,672
Get the gaff.
822
00:48:44,756 --> 00:48:46,132
Get the hook.
There we go. Keep coming.
823
00:48:46,216 --> 00:48:47,509
You got him. You got him.
824
00:48:47,592 --> 00:48:50,720
Corning up, coming up,
he's coming up.
825
00:48:50,804 --> 00:48:52,397
Grab him, somebody grab him.
826
00:48:52,480 --> 00:48:54,182
- Let me get a pole.
- Here, hold... hold my pole.
827
00:48:54,183 --> 00:48:55,775
- That's a bigger fish than you.
- Look at that.
828
00:48:55,858 --> 00:48:57,727
- Whoo.
- Yeah, baby. Look at that, Torn!
829
00:48:59,229 --> 00:49:01,147
Oh, he's in the water.
830
00:49:01,231 --> 00:49:03,191
- He's in the water.
- Oh, shit, man.
831
00:49:04,400 --> 00:49:06,319
- He's dolphin meat, man.
- Look, you got him.
832
00:49:11,324 --> 00:49:14,077
Ah, dolphin! Dolphin!
833
00:49:14,160 --> 00:49:17,747
- Oh, shit. I'll get him, mon.
- You get him! It's your boat.
834
00:49:17,831 --> 00:49:20,291
Dolphin!
835
00:49:23,378 --> 00:49:26,131
Something got my leg!
Somethings touching my leg!
836
00:49:46,985 --> 00:49:49,904
Ayo, weary traveler.
837
00:49:52,949 --> 00:49:56,953
You care for some dark Jamaican rum?
838
00:49:57,036 --> 00:49:59,497
Don't mind if I do.
839
00:49:59,581 --> 00:50:01,708
I'll take a belt right out of the bottle.
840
00:50:01,791 --> 00:50:02,876
Okay. Yeah.
841
00:50:02,959 --> 00:50:05,545
Yeah, change my perspective a little.
842
00:50:07,547 --> 00:50:10,466
- Yeah.
- It's good. That's good.
843
00:50:16,973 --> 00:50:20,643
I'm Lance. What do you go by?
844
00:50:21,644 --> 00:50:23,980
Island Man.
845
00:50:24,063 --> 00:50:25,565
Ain't got no name.
846
00:50:25,648 --> 00:50:28,651
You got this crafty boat here.
847
00:50:28,735 --> 00:50:32,155
Obviously. You can't be no island man
if you don't have a ship.
848
00:50:34,532 --> 00:50:38,620
Oh. Oh, I am still
thinking about that incredible massage.
849
00:50:38,703 --> 00:50:42,874
Oh...
Me too.
850
00:50:42,957 --> 00:50:45,126
Oh, the face he did.
851
00:50:47,170 --> 00:50:50,089
Can't remember the last time
Manfred took me dancing.
852
00:50:50,173 --> 00:50:53,426
Wow. Wow.
853
00:50:53,509 --> 00:50:57,430
Wow. Oh, try this, Georgia.
It's really fun!
854
00:50:57,513 --> 00:51:00,892
You're like a cross
between a unicorn and a stork.
855
00:51:00,975 --> 00:51:03,603
- A stork.
- Georgia.
856
00:51:03,686 --> 00:51:05,271
Oh, oh, oh...
857
00:51:05,355 --> 00:51:06,356
- There you go.
- Are you okay?
858
00:51:06,439 --> 00:51:07,632
Oh, yeah.
Something just popped out.
859
00:51:07,633 --> 00:51:09,042
- Are you sure?
- No, it just popped out.
860
00:51:09,125 --> 00:51:10,526
- What's the matter?
- I don't know.
861
00:51:10,610 --> 00:51:13,238
Then they eventually
had their own child,
862
00:51:13,321 --> 00:51:17,075
you know, their real kid.
Their biological child.
863
00:51:17,158 --> 00:51:20,078
And then they tried to get rid of you?
864
00:51:20,161 --> 00:51:24,415
No. She never made me feel less than,
she made me feel like her real brother.
865
00:51:24,499 --> 00:51:26,668
And you know what I did?
I acted like a jerk.
866
00:51:26,751 --> 00:51:28,878
I didn't even protect her
the way I should have.
867
00:51:29,879 --> 00:51:32,548
So like you were the one abandoning them?
868
00:51:33,549 --> 00:51:35,009
All right, look.
869
00:51:36,177 --> 00:51:38,263
Let's go and find your destiny.
870
00:51:38,346 --> 00:51:40,556
Oh, right now?
871
00:51:40,640 --> 00:51:41,849
All right. Let's do it.
872
00:51:43,059 --> 00:51:45,853
I'll have another old swig of that rum.
873
00:51:45,937 --> 00:51:47,689
Go ahead, son.
874
00:51:47,772 --> 00:51:49,649
Tell your tale to the ocean.
875
00:51:49,732 --> 00:51:52,819
They really never stopped loving me.
876
00:51:52,902 --> 00:51:54,445
It was more just me.
877
00:51:54,529 --> 00:51:58,241
It was what was going on inside of me,
and I was just insecure of it.
878
00:51:58,324 --> 00:52:01,369
I mean, I never even
did this with my old man.
879
00:52:01,452 --> 00:52:03,997
All right. I'll be your poppy.
880
00:52:04,080 --> 00:52:07,625
Should I be nervous?
I can't quite see the bottom here, Poppy.
881
00:52:10,503 --> 00:52:13,423
Gentlemen,
I hope you had a great day at sea.
882
00:52:13,506 --> 00:52:15,550
- You ready for a party?
- I need to go to bed.
883
00:52:15,633 --> 00:52:17,260
I think I got way too much sun today.
884
00:52:17,343 --> 00:52:19,220
What the hell
are you talking about, Tom?
885
00:52:19,304 --> 00:52:22,015
I've been waiting this whole darn time
to get into some nasty trouble.
886
00:52:22,098 --> 00:52:23,474
All right. Fine. One drink.
887
00:52:53,963 --> 00:52:56,674
Let's take some shots and get fucked up.
888
00:53:10,021 --> 00:53:12,940
Welcome to the par-ty.
889
00:54:35,106 --> 00:54:39,068
I think I've died and gone to heaven.
890
00:54:39,152 --> 00:54:41,112
Oh! What have you done to yourself?
891
00:54:41,195 --> 00:54:42,738
I don't know, I pulled something.
892
00:54:42,822 --> 00:54:44,657
- Oh, God.
- Oh, and how did you pull that, miss?
893
00:54:44,740 --> 00:54:47,285
Well, it's either dancing
or looking at that beautiful man.
894
00:54:47,368 --> 00:54:49,579
Classic Mud Pie.
895
00:54:49,662 --> 00:54:51,539
Mud Pie and Cotton Candy
are like Thelma and Louise.
896
00:54:51,622 --> 00:54:53,708
Most beautiful bride,
well, this is my stop.
897
00:54:53,791 --> 00:54:54,876
Goodnight, ladies.
898
00:54:54,959 --> 00:54:58,129
- That was fun.
- That was fun.
899
00:55:00,173 --> 00:55:03,092
Your father and I are so happy for you.
900
00:55:04,093 --> 00:55:06,262
Of course, we were very worried
about you for a while.
901
00:55:06,345 --> 00:55:07,763
I know.
902
00:55:07,847 --> 00:55:10,475
You know, I'm so excited, too.
903
00:55:10,558 --> 00:55:14,812
He really is the man of my dreams.
904
00:55:14,896 --> 00:55:16,564
Your father's the man of my...
905
00:55:20,443 --> 00:55:22,820
Mom?
906
00:55:22,904 --> 00:55:25,448
Did you...
Did you fall asleep with...
907
00:55:25,531 --> 00:55:27,783
- I'm right here. I'm right here.
- ...your eyes open?
908
00:55:27,867 --> 00:55:30,495
- Again?
- I'm right here.
909
00:55:31,496 --> 00:55:32,747
I'm worried about you.
910
00:55:32,830 --> 00:55:35,416
It looked like you fell asleep
with your eyes open. Mom?
911
00:55:35,500 --> 00:55:36,751
Are you okay?
912
00:55:36,834 --> 00:55:38,628
I'll just...
913
00:55:53,434 --> 00:55:55,436
Tits, tits, tits...
914
00:55:55,520 --> 00:55:57,438
tits, tits, tits, tits,
tits, tits...
915
00:55:57,522 --> 00:55:59,982
SWEET... tits, tits, tits, tits, tits,
tits, tits, tits
916
00:55:59,983 --> 00:56:00,983
SWWEEEETTTT
917
00:56:00,984 --> 00:56:03,027
I can't stand these goddamn tourists.
918
00:56:03,110 --> 00:56:04,570
Did you hear...?
919
00:56:04,654 --> 00:56:06,280
No. What?
920
00:56:06,364 --> 00:56:08,866
I heard one of them blew the other one...
921
00:56:09,408 --> 00:56:11,953
His fiancé is gonna be PISSED!
922
00:56:12,370 --> 00:56:15,790
Not as much as she will be
during the wedding.
923
00:56:16,207 --> 00:56:19,627
Yeah... If there's a wedding... HAHA.
924
00:56:19,628 --> 00:56:21,270
Tits, tits, tits,
tits, tits...
925
00:56:21,354 --> 00:56:23,756
NNNNN... Dicks. Dicks. Dicks. Dicks.
Dicks...
926
00:56:23,839 --> 00:56:27,552
BIIIIGGGGG...
Dicks. Dicks. Dicks. Dicks. Dicks...
927
00:56:33,516 --> 00:56:35,434
I feel like shit.
928
00:56:38,145 --> 00:56:39,397
Oh, hey, sexy.
929
00:56:41,023 --> 00:56:42,733
You really went all out last night.
930
00:56:43,943 --> 00:56:45,278
Shit.
931
00:56:47,863 --> 00:56:49,073
Don't go.
932
00:57:00,960 --> 00:57:02,753
Ricky!
933
00:57:02,837 --> 00:57:04,880
Ricky! Ricky!
934
00:57:07,717 --> 00:57:10,595
Yo, get up, man.
What the fuck happened last night?
935
00:57:11,679 --> 00:57:13,681
Hey, hey, what happened?
936
00:57:13,764 --> 00:57:15,683
- We took some pills.
- We took some pills?
937
00:57:15,766 --> 00:57:18,436
Yeah, I'm sorry.
We got fucked up, had some bananas.
938
00:57:18,519 --> 00:57:20,271
Fuck!
939
00:57:20,354 --> 00:57:21,480
What happened with the girl?
940
00:57:21,564 --> 00:57:24,525
I woke up in her room and...
941
00:57:24,609 --> 00:57:26,527
- Oh, shit. You fucked her.
- No, I didn't fuck her, okay?
942
00:57:26,611 --> 00:57:28,112
- Nice.
- No, that's not nice!
943
00:57:28,195 --> 00:57:30,448
Oh, this is a bachelor party well done.
944
00:57:30,531 --> 00:57:32,700
- No.
- Yes.
945
00:57:32,783 --> 00:57:35,328
Well, I had my pants on.
I had my shoes on. And...
946
00:57:35,411 --> 00:57:36,996
Oh, that doesn't mean anything.
947
00:57:37,079 --> 00:57:38,748
This is all your fault.
948
00:57:41,542 --> 00:57:43,502
Fuck!
949
00:57:43,586 --> 00:57:45,046
It was a good night.
950
00:57:45,129 --> 00:57:47,214
Let's do it again.
951
00:57:48,674 --> 00:57:52,678
Remember, every man is an island
952
00:57:52,762 --> 00:57:55,723
trying to find his way home.
953
00:57:55,806 --> 00:57:57,767
What did I drink?
954
00:57:57,850 --> 00:58:00,603
Time to go home.
955
00:58:02,021 --> 00:58:05,900
Have faith, and always follow the current,
956
00:58:05,983 --> 00:58:10,112
no matter how rough and tough
the seas may be.
957
00:58:17,828 --> 00:58:20,331
Now, go on and find your next adventure.
958
00:58:20,414 --> 00:58:24,960
Ow! Where the hell am I?
I mean, was this guy real?
959
00:58:25,044 --> 00:58:27,672
But not that direction. Lord God!
960
00:58:27,755 --> 00:58:29,882
You're going the wrong way.
961
00:58:29,965 --> 00:58:32,051
Gosh, I'm so hung over.
962
00:58:32,134 --> 00:58:33,844
You were supposed
to look after him, Ricky.
963
00:58:33,928 --> 00:58:35,596
I did, I think.
964
00:58:39,308 --> 00:58:41,018
What did you guys do last night?
965
00:58:41,102 --> 00:58:43,479
We just passed out after the hot tub.
966
00:58:43,562 --> 00:58:46,399
I would love to pass out
in a hot tub with you.
967
00:58:46,482 --> 00:58:48,609
I would, I would, I would.
968
00:58:48,693 --> 00:58:51,070
Okay.
For the last time, Ricky,
969
00:58:51,153 --> 00:58:54,865
there is no scenario in which
I will ever sleep with you.
970
00:58:54,949 --> 00:58:58,369
Not even... Not even
if there was a nuclear holocaust
971
00:58:58,452 --> 00:59:00,246
and we were
the last people left on Earth.
972
00:59:00,329 --> 00:59:03,999
Not even if I thought it would cure
cancer, Ebola, and AIDS!
973
00:59:04,083 --> 00:59:07,878
Not even if it stopped people
from voting Republican.
974
00:59:07,962 --> 00:59:09,338
I don't wanna get political with you.
975
00:59:09,422 --> 00:59:11,632
I just wanna have some sex
with you on the beach.
976
00:59:11,716 --> 00:59:13,759
Okay. Ignore them.
977
00:59:13,843 --> 00:59:16,095
What are we gonna do today?
978
00:59:16,178 --> 00:59:20,766
Uh, I think we should probably
just fall asleep on the beach and just...
979
00:59:20,850 --> 00:59:22,351
Hey, banana boy?
980
00:59:24,603 --> 00:59:25,938
I think he's talking about us.
981
00:59:26,021 --> 00:59:27,356
Yeah. I'm banana boy.
982
00:59:27,440 --> 00:59:29,108
Deep throat!
983
00:59:30,109 --> 00:59:32,403
Yep. That's me.
984
00:59:34,697 --> 00:59:36,574
- He's... He's talking to me.
- He's talking to Rick.
985
00:59:36,657 --> 00:59:38,826
This is one of Ricky's things.
986
00:59:38,909 --> 00:59:41,162
- I'm sorry.
- He's a banana...
987
00:59:41,245 --> 00:59:42,455
We... We should just get out of here
988
00:59:42,538 --> 00:59:44,749
- and go hiking around, or something.
- Yeah.
989
00:59:44,832 --> 00:59:46,125
- Bye, guys.
- Love you, bro.
990
00:59:46,208 --> 00:59:47,668
Bye.
991
00:59:51,255 --> 00:59:54,383
So? That was strange.
992
00:59:54,467 --> 00:59:57,428
What exactly did you two
get up to last night?
993
00:59:57,511 --> 01:00:00,973
We acted like true gentlemen
last night, if you must know.
994
01:00:01,974 --> 01:00:04,351
Okay. This was fun.
995
01:00:04,435 --> 01:00:06,645
- See you soon.
- In hell.
996
01:00:06,729 --> 01:00:07,855
Miss you already.
997
01:00:09,023 --> 01:00:12,026
Oh, hello.
998
01:00:12,109 --> 01:00:15,696
We're here.
The... The... Oh, the...
999
01:00:15,780 --> 01:00:18,991
What she's trying to say is we are here
to see the psychosexual kinesiologist,
1000
01:00:19,074 --> 01:00:21,786
who also happens
to be a subdural neuromanipulator.
1001
01:00:21,869 --> 01:00:24,538
She's actually a sex coach.
1002
01:00:24,622 --> 01:00:27,541
Okay. Well, I just like to say
subdural neurologist
1003
01:00:27,625 --> 01:00:30,002
because it makes me feel smart.
1004
01:00:32,129 --> 01:00:34,465
Could you go ahead and sign
these first for me, please?
1005
01:00:34,548 --> 01:00:38,052
Oh, sure. Sure.
1006
01:00:38,135 --> 01:00:41,555
Oh, oh, oh...
1007
01:00:41,639 --> 01:00:43,182
I got it.
1008
01:00:43,265 --> 01:00:44,433
Oh, you're all right.
1009
01:00:45,643 --> 01:00:48,771
"Mindful Sexuality." Uh-huh.
1010
01:00:48,854 --> 01:00:52,566
"Water Work. Love Your Leather.
1011
01:00:52,650 --> 01:00:58,906
How to Dom Your Inner Sub,
Candle Play: Don't get burned."
1012
01:00:58,989 --> 01:01:00,699
Sign me up for everything.
1013
01:01:00,783 --> 01:01:03,994
Name.
1014
01:01:04,078 --> 01:01:05,454
What address?
1015
01:01:07,122 --> 01:01:08,791
All right.
1016
01:01:11,418 --> 01:01:13,587
Uh, what's "safe word"?
1017
01:01:26,559 --> 01:01:29,144
Whoo. Oh, that's refreshing.
1018
01:01:29,228 --> 01:01:33,941
Oh. Howard Freeman, upper management
and DODC here at Hedo II.
1019
01:01:34,024 --> 01:01:37,278
I've been watching you very, very closely
1020
01:01:37,361 --> 01:01:40,364
since your arrival here, and...
1021
01:01:40,447 --> 01:01:44,869
and I have to say,
you really have a nice way about you.
1022
01:01:44,952 --> 01:01:47,788
You're light on your feet, agile,
1023
01:01:47,872 --> 01:01:51,417
and I notice when you walk
into a room, just lights up.
1024
01:01:51,500 --> 01:01:53,460
Thanks.
1025
01:01:53,544 --> 01:01:55,796
You ever done any professional dancing?
1026
01:01:55,880 --> 01:01:58,799
No, I... I did a high school,
uh, Sound of Music.
1027
01:01:58,883 --> 01:02:00,467
♪ The hills are alive ♪
1028
01:02:00,551 --> 01:02:02,928
I bet you gave old Plummer
a run for his money, huh?
1029
01:02:03,012 --> 01:02:05,931
Hey, speaking of plumbing,
how are your pipes doing, Tom?
1030
01:02:06,015 --> 01:02:07,641
They're good.
1031
01:02:07,725 --> 01:02:08,934
The dry-cleaning for your wedding,
1032
01:02:09,018 --> 01:02:12,813
it's gonna be nothing short
of perfection and gratis.
1033
01:02:12,897 --> 01:02:14,523
What's, uh, what's gratis?
1034
01:02:14,607 --> 01:02:17,234
That means on the house, Tommy boy.
1035
01:02:17,318 --> 01:02:19,737
I'll see you at the wedding.
1036
01:02:21,655 --> 01:02:24,074
Who the hell was that?
1037
01:02:29,872 --> 01:02:31,248
Hi.
1038
01:02:35,127 --> 01:02:36,795
This is a double, right?
1039
01:02:36,879 --> 01:02:38,756
- Lance, Lance.
- Oh, hi.
1040
01:02:38,839 --> 01:02:40,799
Okay. So, something is going on.
1041
01:02:40,883 --> 01:02:41,984
- The boys were acting...
- Yeah.
1042
01:02:42,067 --> 01:02:43,385
...so weird
at breakfast this morning.
1043
01:02:43,469 --> 01:02:46,931
- Super suspicious.
- Something's going on.
1044
01:02:47,014 --> 01:02:51,518
Something very, very odd
is happening around here.
1045
01:02:51,602 --> 01:02:54,355
People were walking past
and they were shouting things like,
1046
01:02:54,438 --> 01:02:57,107
"Oh, banana blow job,
cock cowboy," and "deep throat."
1047
01:02:57,191 --> 01:02:59,109
And I think...
1048
01:02:59,193 --> 01:03:03,072
Ricky gave Tom
a blow job last night.
1049
01:03:04,448 --> 01:03:08,160
Uh...
Okay.
1050
01:03:08,243 --> 01:03:10,955
Well, that's absolutely
gonna devastate Laura.
1051
01:03:11,038 --> 01:03:14,083
But nobody wants to listen
to old Lance. No.
1052
01:03:14,166 --> 01:03:16,919
No one wants to listen to Lance.
1053
01:03:17,002 --> 01:03:19,004
I've had an idea. All right.
1054
01:03:19,088 --> 01:03:21,048
I'm gonna go.
I'm gonna fix this.
1055
01:03:21,131 --> 01:03:23,275
I'm gonna figure it out.
And then I'm gonna come find you, okay?
1056
01:03:23,358 --> 01:03:24,359
- Okay.
- Okay?
1057
01:03:24,443 --> 01:03:25,636
Okay. Just call me in my room.
1058
01:03:26,929 --> 01:03:29,056
So, you wanna go check out the nude pool?
1059
01:03:30,057 --> 01:03:32,226
Ah, there's a nude pool.
1060
01:03:32,309 --> 01:03:33,894
She'll come, too.
1061
01:03:33,978 --> 01:03:37,439
Strange winds are blowing around here.
1062
01:03:45,072 --> 01:03:47,533
A perfect orgasm
1063
01:03:47,616 --> 01:03:52,454
is a confluence of all five senses:
1064
01:03:53,455 --> 01:03:54,999
Touch...
1065
01:03:57,918 --> 01:03:59,169
Taste...
1066
01:04:05,592 --> 01:04:06,885
Smell...
1067
01:04:08,220 --> 01:04:09,888
Sound...
1068
01:04:10,889 --> 01:04:12,558
And sight.
1069
01:04:16,437 --> 01:04:20,399
And unroll to reveal your tools.
1070
01:04:20,482 --> 01:04:24,570
We will focus on one sense at a time.
1071
01:04:24,653 --> 01:04:27,698
Placing all of your tools...
1072
01:04:33,579 --> 01:04:38,500
Let your hands and your bodies
express your sensations.
1073
01:04:49,344 --> 01:04:51,764
Gentlemen.
1074
01:04:51,847 --> 01:04:54,391
We are ready for you to enter us.
1075
01:04:55,809 --> 01:05:00,355
You can do this. Yeah!
Yeah, you can.
1076
01:05:02,066 --> 01:05:03,901
No, no, stop it.
1077
01:05:03,984 --> 01:05:05,986
All right. Come on.
1078
01:05:08,322 --> 01:05:10,282
God, I'm a good friend.
1079
01:05:28,050 --> 01:05:29,718
Hey, Mr. Ricky.
1080
01:05:32,012 --> 01:05:35,182
Do you wanna order
a cold drink for a thirsty girl?
1081
01:05:35,265 --> 01:05:38,519
Yeah, I do.
A lot of tits and ass everywhere.
1082
01:05:39,937 --> 01:05:41,063
Hey, Ricky!
1083
01:05:42,981 --> 01:05:44,233
Whoa!
1084
01:05:45,692 --> 01:05:48,779
I knew you come around
for some of that Ricky dick.
1085
01:05:48,862 --> 01:05:52,449
Let's go make a Ricky flick.
Come on.
1086
01:05:54,201 --> 01:05:57,204
Tantric sexual stimulation,
1087
01:05:57,287 --> 01:06:00,040
it's about admitting a desire.
1088
01:06:03,961 --> 01:06:06,964
Share a desire.
1089
01:06:19,268 --> 01:06:21,228
That's my finger.
1090
01:06:21,311 --> 01:06:24,565
Share a fantasy
you've never admitted.
1091
01:06:26,233 --> 01:06:27,526
Meow.
1092
01:06:27,609 --> 01:06:31,530
Now, experience your sensations.
1093
01:06:58,599 --> 01:07:00,851
- Huh?
- There's a beautiful girl, mon.
1094
01:07:07,691 --> 01:07:10,861
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
She's attractive all right.
1095
01:07:13,530 --> 01:07:15,616
Something about her.
1096
01:07:17,075 --> 01:07:19,328
You should go talk to her, mon.
1097
01:07:19,411 --> 01:07:22,456
Oh, uh, yeah.
Actually, we already met.
1098
01:07:22,539 --> 01:07:25,167
She's, you know,
she's going through kind of a hard time.
1099
01:07:25,250 --> 01:07:28,003
- She got left at the altar.
- Yeah, mon.
1100
01:07:28,086 --> 01:07:29,671
- Yeah. Very sad.
- Broken heart, mon.
1101
01:07:29,755 --> 01:07:30,964
- Yeah.
- Hmm.
1102
01:07:31,048 --> 01:07:33,675
You should mend that heart
with big Janelle right there.
1103
01:07:33,759 --> 01:07:36,470
Get an orgy going. I can watch.
1104
01:07:36,553 --> 01:07:40,140
You take her to the romper room, mon,
and you tie her up like a goat.
1105
01:07:40,224 --> 01:07:42,142
No. You're not hearing what I'm saying.
1106
01:07:42,226 --> 01:07:44,811
She's a nice girl.
She just got left at the altar.
1107
01:07:44,895 --> 01:07:46,438
She's going through kind of a rough time.
1108
01:07:46,521 --> 01:07:49,566
If I were to say something to her,
it'd be like, I don't know.
1109
01:07:49,650 --> 01:07:52,194
"Would you like to go for a walk
on the beach?" Something like that.
1110
01:07:52,277 --> 01:07:53,920
- You see what I'm saying?
- Yeah, mon. Yeah, mon.
1111
01:07:54,004 --> 01:07:58,700
- Yeah.
- She is a really pretty woman.
1112
01:08:00,369 --> 01:08:02,871
It does seem like she's looking
over here, though.
1113
01:08:02,955 --> 01:08:04,831
She's definitely
looking right at you, mon.
1114
01:08:04,915 --> 01:08:07,292
- Hold the gaze.
- Yeah. You think so?
1115
01:08:07,376 --> 01:08:09,628
She's almost as beautiful as my wife.
1116
01:08:09,711 --> 01:08:11,713
- You're married?
- Yeah, mon.
1117
01:08:11,797 --> 01:08:15,008
So, what are you doing
in this cabana right beside me?
1118
01:08:16,677 --> 01:08:18,053
I was noticing your pants.
1119
01:08:18,136 --> 01:08:19,680
They're, uh, really nice.
1120
01:08:19,763 --> 01:08:22,516
- What kind of pants are those?
- Oh, you're not Jamaican? Where you from?
1121
01:08:22,599 --> 01:08:26,436
I'm actually from Long Island.
But, uh, dual citizen, mon.
1122
01:08:28,272 --> 01:08:29,731
Uh... Let me, uh...
1123
01:08:29,815 --> 01:08:31,400
Let me press
these pants for you, for real.
1124
01:08:31,483 --> 01:08:33,277
No, thank you.
1125
01:08:33,360 --> 01:08:37,281
By the way, my wife think
you look like Matt Lauer, man.
1126
01:08:37,364 --> 01:08:39,032
Oh, yeah?
Well, I don't know if you heard,
1127
01:08:39,116 --> 01:08:41,785
he got into a little trouble
back in the States.
1128
01:08:41,868 --> 01:08:44,621
Oh, no, mon.
She's gonna be devastated.
1129
01:08:44,705 --> 01:08:45,747
Is he gonna be okay?
1130
01:08:47,457 --> 01:08:49,084
Have you been here the whole time?
1131
01:09:03,307 --> 01:09:07,602
All right. I think I hear
the waterfall right over here somewhere.
1132
01:09:07,686 --> 01:09:10,605
All right. It's just right over here.
1133
01:10:29,142 --> 01:10:30,394
So...
1134
01:10:32,729 --> 01:10:34,731
You wanna just take our clothes off?
1135
01:10:49,037 --> 01:10:51,081
Are you okay?
1136
01:10:51,164 --> 01:10:54,042
Georgia, what did you discover
about Tom and Ricky?
1137
01:10:54,126 --> 01:10:55,752
- Uh...
- Did Ricky fellate Torn?
1138
01:10:59,631 --> 01:11:06,054
So, uh, Ricky...
Ricky is, urn, straight, yeah.
1139
01:11:06,138 --> 01:11:08,181
Straight as an arrow for you, babe.
1140
01:11:08,265 --> 01:11:12,185
And, you know,
he's a surprisingly, uh...
1141
01:11:12,269 --> 01:11:16,314
deep and, um, spiritual...
philosophical individual.
1142
01:11:16,398 --> 01:11:19,985
Very philosophical.
Um, Shakespeare once said...
1143
01:11:20,068 --> 01:11:22,112
- Did you blow Tom?
- Uh...
1144
01:11:22,195 --> 01:11:23,530
Why are you looking at her?
1145
01:11:23,613 --> 01:11:26,283
Simple question;
did you go down on him?
1146
01:11:26,366 --> 01:11:29,661
I'm not sure what happened.
It was a big night out.
1147
01:11:29,744 --> 01:11:33,623
We took some pills and Tom
woke up in some chick's room.
1148
01:11:33,707 --> 01:11:35,167
- But it's all my fault.
- Okay.
1149
01:11:35,250 --> 01:11:37,961
I'm gonna, uh, go grab a wet wipe.
1150
01:11:46,136 --> 01:11:48,597
Okay. A guy as dumb as Tom
1151
01:11:48,680 --> 01:11:51,766
has to leave a few clues
here and there.
1152
01:11:51,850 --> 01:11:54,436
Jesus Christ.
1153
01:11:54,519 --> 01:11:55,562
Just you, Lance.
1154
01:12:07,240 --> 01:12:09,117
Oh, gee.
1155
01:12:21,421 --> 01:12:24,341
Shit. Luckily, this is all inclusive.
1156
01:12:39,898 --> 01:12:41,399
- Ooh.
- Oh.
1157
01:12:41,483 --> 01:12:42,776
- Okay.
- Can you get it off?
1158
01:12:42,859 --> 01:12:44,110
- Yup.
- Oh.
1159
01:12:46,988 --> 01:12:47,989
Ooh!
1160
01:13:03,672 --> 01:13:05,966
Dude, what the fuck, man? Shit.
1161
01:13:06,049 --> 01:13:09,386
Don't you have any boundaries?
1162
01:13:09,469 --> 01:13:10,971
Yeah, I got boundaries.
1163
01:13:11,054 --> 01:13:15,976
I also got a couple of questions
for this guy right here, your fiance.
1164
01:13:16,059 --> 01:13:19,312
I just had a little chat
with your best man.
1165
01:13:19,396 --> 01:13:21,731
- Yeah?
- Yeah, okay. Yeah.
1166
01:13:21,815 --> 01:13:25,235
Look, Lance, Tom is a good guy.
1167
01:13:25,318 --> 01:13:27,445
I love him and we're getting married,
1168
01:13:27,529 --> 01:13:30,782
and you have to learn
how to just deal with it.
1169
01:13:30,865 --> 01:13:32,701
Oh, you want me to deal with it?
1170
01:13:32,784 --> 01:13:36,079
Let me tell you something about
this so-called "good guy," all right?
1171
01:13:36,162 --> 01:13:39,708
And this hurts me to tell you this,
but he slept with another woman.
1172
01:13:39,791 --> 01:13:41,334
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, no.
1173
01:13:41,418 --> 01:13:43,837
Sit down! That's right, honey.
1174
01:13:43,920 --> 01:13:45,880
He fornicated with another girl.
1175
01:13:45,964 --> 01:13:48,300
- What?
- Yeah. Tell her.
1176
01:13:48,383 --> 01:13:51,761
- Explain it to her.
- What is he talking about, Tom?
1177
01:13:51,845 --> 01:13:53,722
Yeah, what am I talking about, Tom?
1178
01:13:53,805 --> 01:13:57,017
You know what?
Let me handle this one.
1179
01:13:57,100 --> 01:14:00,228
My investigation so far
has yielded the information
1180
01:14:00,312 --> 01:14:03,523
that, uh, there is a woman named Anna.
1181
01:14:03,607 --> 01:14:07,277
Does that ring a bell, Tom,
if that's even your real name?
1182
01:14:08,278 --> 01:14:10,739
I-I-I... I don't...
I don't know... I don't... I don't...
1183
01:14:10,822 --> 01:14:13,033
I...
1184
01:14:13,116 --> 01:14:14,451
What, is English your second language?
1185
01:14:14,534 --> 01:14:15,827
- I... Okay...
- Speak!
1186
01:14:15,910 --> 01:14:18,163
- Okay.
- Just tell me what happened.
1187
01:14:18,246 --> 01:14:21,333
I... I woke up in another
woman's room and I don't...
1188
01:14:21,416 --> 01:14:22,917
- I don't think I did anything.
- Oh, oh, oh.
1189
01:14:23,001 --> 01:14:24,461
You woke up in another woman's room?
1190
01:14:24,544 --> 01:14:26,463
- Are you hearing this, honey?
- I... Okay.
1191
01:14:26,546 --> 01:14:29,616
I had... I had... I had no
shirt on but my shorts were on.
1192
01:14:29,699 --> 01:14:31,067
- My shorts were on...
- His shirt was off
1193
01:14:31,151 --> 01:14:32,886
but he thinks he had his underoos on.
1194
01:14:32,887 --> 01:14:34,079
What the fuck
are you talking about?
1195
01:14:34,162 --> 01:14:35,697
But my... My shoes was...
My shorts were on...
1196
01:14:35,780 --> 01:14:36,781
- She's furious.
- And my...
1197
01:14:36,865 --> 01:14:38,266
My shoes were on and... And I don't...
1198
01:14:38,350 --> 01:14:40,685
I wouldn't... I wouldn't do anything.
I know myself.
1199
01:14:40,769 --> 01:14:42,479
He thinks that he had clothes on.
1200
01:14:42,562 --> 01:14:43,897
Starting to see what I mean here?
1201
01:14:43,980 --> 01:14:46,149
I... Dude, that's not...
1202
01:14:46,232 --> 01:14:47,776
It's not what you think.
I didn't cheat.
1203
01:14:47,859 --> 01:14:50,570
Go walk it off, sis.
I'm right behind you.
1204
01:14:50,654 --> 01:14:54,074
You're disgusting. I agree
with what she said a hundred percent,
1205
01:14:54,157 --> 01:14:55,700
and so far as I can tell,
1206
01:14:55,784 --> 01:14:59,204
you're just one more guy
who cheats on his fiancée.
1207
01:14:59,287 --> 01:15:02,248
And I think that that's just horrible.
1208
01:15:03,541 --> 01:15:05,919
And this room's a goddamn pigsty.
1209
01:15:10,715 --> 01:15:12,133
Mom, Dad, I have to tell you something.
1210
01:15:12,217 --> 01:15:14,511
Oh. What the...
1211
01:15:16,596 --> 01:15:18,640
What the fuck?
1212
01:15:18,723 --> 01:15:20,975
You must be the bride.
Congratulations.
1213
01:15:21,059 --> 01:15:22,394
- Hi, honey.
- Morn?
1214
01:15:49,504 --> 01:15:51,464
He had us all fooled.
1215
01:15:51,548 --> 01:15:54,551
I got to admit,
you did seem pretty happy.
1216
01:15:55,552 --> 01:15:59,931
And I'm sorry that I wasn't
more happy for you.
1217
01:16:00,014 --> 01:16:04,144
Well, I didn't exactly always
make it easy for you to be happy for me.
1218
01:16:04,227 --> 01:16:07,230
You don't have to say that.
1219
01:16:08,523 --> 01:16:12,318
I'm just sorry that I never
really tried to understand you.
1220
01:16:12,402 --> 01:16:15,113
Hey, to me, you were the only person
1221
01:16:15,196 --> 01:16:19,409
that never really
did understand me, all right?
1222
01:16:19,492 --> 01:16:24,956
And, well, I'm sorry I didn't
treat you like a real brother.
1223
01:16:25,039 --> 01:16:28,585
Lance, you're better than any real brother
I could ever ask for.
1224
01:16:29,586 --> 01:16:31,880
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
1225
01:16:40,305 --> 01:16:42,156
- Please, just talk to me. Please.
- Don't talk to me.
1226
01:16:42,240 --> 01:16:43,558
I can't even look at you.
1227
01:16:43,641 --> 01:16:45,101
Excuse me.
Is everything okay?
1228
01:16:45,185 --> 01:16:46,936
No, I need a car to the airport.
I'm leaving.
1229
01:16:47,020 --> 01:16:49,606
- What about your beautiful wedding?
- It's not happening.
1230
01:16:49,689 --> 01:16:51,065
At this point, it's too late.
1231
01:16:51,149 --> 01:16:53,985
There is no cabs, no flights out.
1232
01:16:54,068 --> 01:16:55,987
Winston, she's got to fly out tonight.
1233
01:16:56,070 --> 01:16:58,281
I'll get her a cab
and the first flight out in the morning.
1234
01:16:58,364 --> 01:16:59,991
It's a great idea.
1235
01:17:00,074 --> 01:17:02,744
Tonight, you either stay with Georgia
or you stay with myself.
1236
01:17:02,827 --> 01:17:04,662
And buddy, your ticket's been punched.
1237
01:17:04,746 --> 01:17:07,457
Laura, come this way.
Thank you, Winston.
1238
01:17:09,459 --> 01:17:13,588
You know, it would've been
such a wonderful wedding.
1239
01:18:39,132 --> 01:18:42,510
- Morning, son.
- Morning, Dad.
1240
01:18:55,356 --> 01:18:58,651
I don't really know what to do.
1241
01:18:58,735 --> 01:19:02,113
I thought it was
what you and Morn have.
1242
01:19:03,114 --> 01:19:07,118
Well, your morn and I have...
discovered new things, too.
1243
01:19:07,201 --> 01:19:12,707
We've been together a long time
and the flame starts to die a little bit,
1244
01:19:12,790 --> 01:19:14,792
you know, not like that seven-year itch
kind of thing,
1245
01:19:14,876 --> 01:19:17,545
but something a whole lot more.
1246
01:19:19,255 --> 01:19:21,841
You know, so you try something.
1247
01:19:21,925 --> 01:19:25,637
You don't think you're gonna
like it, but you do.
1248
01:19:25,720 --> 01:19:28,431
So you try something else.
1249
01:19:29,432 --> 01:19:32,810
You know, every time I see you
and Laura Jane together, I...
1250
01:19:32,894 --> 01:19:36,481
I just think,
"Boy, don't ever lose that."
1251
01:19:40,193 --> 01:19:42,904
You think it's too late to fix this?
1252
01:19:42,987 --> 01:19:46,699
Well, son, in the end, nothing's too late.
1253
01:19:46,783 --> 01:19:49,744
Dad, what do I do?
1254
01:19:49,827 --> 01:19:51,996
I can't tell you that, son.
1255
01:19:52,080 --> 01:19:53,706
That's up to you to decide.
1256
01:19:53,790 --> 01:19:57,085
Worst fucking day ever.
1257
01:19:57,168 --> 01:19:59,921
Hey, man, can I get a couple,
um, a couple shots, just...
1258
01:20:00,004 --> 01:20:02,632
just line them up here,
and I'll take them.
1259
01:20:14,936 --> 01:20:19,023
Tommy, you look ridiculous.
1260
01:20:22,276 --> 01:20:25,029
So what? You fucked up.
1261
01:20:25,113 --> 01:20:26,739
Now listen to me carefully.
1262
01:20:26,823 --> 01:20:28,491
I have three words
of advice for you, kid.
1263
01:20:28,574 --> 01:20:31,786
Chase your dreams, fulfill your destiny,
and go get a haircut.
1264
01:20:31,869 --> 01:20:32,870
You look like a moron.
1265
01:20:35,873 --> 01:20:37,917
Quit feeling sorry for yourself.
1266
01:20:38,001 --> 01:20:41,295
Sober up, take a shower and go get her.
1267
01:20:41,379 --> 01:20:45,341
And use deodorant. I'm a hallucination,
I can still smell you.
1268
01:20:46,759 --> 01:20:48,845
Mr. Tom, hurry up, mon.
1269
01:20:50,054 --> 01:20:51,431
She's a runaway, mon.
1270
01:20:51,514 --> 01:20:52,765
All right, let's go, let's go.
1271
01:20:52,849 --> 01:20:55,309
All right, Andy.
Rip these roads, mon.
1272
01:20:55,393 --> 01:20:57,937
All right, let's go.
How long until we get there?
1273
01:20:58,021 --> 01:20:59,772
- Two hours, mon.
- Fuck.
1274
01:20:59,856 --> 01:21:01,399
He's cute.
1275
01:21:01,482 --> 01:21:02,734
- He is hot.
- So wasted.
1276
01:21:02,817 --> 01:21:04,527
I couldn't even take his shoes off.
1277
01:21:04,610 --> 01:21:05,695
- That's how loyal he is.
- Wow.
1278
01:21:05,778 --> 01:21:07,572
Oh. Who's Laura, anyways?
1279
01:21:07,655 --> 01:21:09,782
I don't know. I don't care.
1280
01:21:09,866 --> 01:21:11,492
- Oh, man.
- I just love him.
1281
01:21:11,576 --> 01:21:14,162
- Laura, I need to throw up.
- It's a shame.
1282
01:21:14,245 --> 01:21:16,622
- Laura.
- He loved his fucking girlfriend.
1283
01:21:16,706 --> 01:21:20,334
- Who's Laura?
- Oh, fuck!
1284
01:21:20,418 --> 01:21:21,711
- Laura.
- Who's that?
1285
01:21:21,794 --> 01:21:23,004
All right, thanks, guys.
1286
01:21:23,087 --> 01:21:24,630
All right, Tom.
1287
01:21:24,714 --> 01:21:26,632
Make sure you tell her
that you love her
1288
01:21:26,716 --> 01:21:29,427
and that she's
the only woman in the world,
1289
01:21:29,510 --> 01:21:33,056
and you take her to the romper room
and you tie her up like a goat.
1290
01:21:34,057 --> 01:21:35,475
All right. Thanks. Yeah.
1291
01:21:44,859 --> 01:21:46,778
- Hello?
- Laura?
1292
01:21:47,779 --> 01:21:50,281
- Georgia?
- I have something to tell you.
1293
01:21:50,364 --> 01:21:51,532
Laura, can you hear me?
1294
01:21:51,616 --> 01:21:53,743
- I can't... I can't hear you.
- Laura, he didn't do it.
1295
01:22:05,088 --> 01:22:06,547
I really...
I really messed up,
1296
01:22:06,631 --> 01:22:08,758
and I can't stop
thinking about you and I was...
1297
01:22:08,841 --> 01:22:10,927
I was... I was running around
the hotel looking for you and...
1298
01:22:11,010 --> 01:22:14,055
Stop. I know you would
never do anything to hurt me.
1299
01:22:14,138 --> 01:22:15,932
This weekend has been...
It's been crazy,
1300
01:22:16,015 --> 01:22:19,685
and with, you know, the family and...
1301
01:22:19,769 --> 01:22:21,312
I can't imagine my life without you.
1302
01:22:21,395 --> 01:22:24,107
- I just-I just had-had to tell you.
- Can you just shut up and kiss me?
1303
01:24:00,453 --> 01:24:03,039
Hey, uh, Mr. Manfred, sir.
1304
01:24:03,122 --> 01:24:05,249
- Mr. Manfred, sir?
- Oh, my God.
1305
01:24:05,333 --> 01:24:07,543
I'm sorry.
This isn't a bad time, is it?
1306
01:24:07,544 --> 01:24:09,853
I was hoping I could maybe talk to you
about that business proposal.
1307
01:24:09,854 --> 01:24:11,923
Do you have a few minutes to talk?
1308
01:24:16,719 --> 01:24:18,179
How much?
1309
01:24:20,264 --> 01:24:23,142
Uh, I'm sorry. I don't...
1310
01:24:23,226 --> 01:24:25,561
How much?
1311
01:24:25,645 --> 01:24:30,149
How much for you to leave me
and my family alone
1312
01:24:30,233 --> 01:24:31,859
for the rest of our lives?
1313
01:24:38,282 --> 01:24:39,367
Five hundred?
1314
01:24:42,036 --> 01:24:43,412
Half million dollars?
1315
01:24:43,496 --> 01:24:45,873
Oh, no, no. No, no, no.
Not a half million dollars,
1316
01:24:45,957 --> 01:24:48,417
like, I was thinking $500.
1317
01:24:48,501 --> 01:24:50,628
I... I... I already got 1,500 saved up
1318
01:24:50,711 --> 01:24:53,714
so that would put me at 2,000
which should be a nice nest egg
1319
01:24:53,798 --> 01:24:55,608
to open a little dry cleaner
right here on the island.
1320
01:24:55,691 --> 01:24:58,803
Who do I make that out to?
1321
01:25:00,096 --> 01:25:01,931
Ira Goldstein, sir.
1322
01:25:05,226 --> 01:25:06,769
Good job.
1323
01:25:06,852 --> 01:25:08,104
Good doing business with you.
1324
01:25:09,730 --> 01:25:14,151
On second thought,
would you maybe, uh, pay me in cash?
1325
01:25:14,235 --> 01:25:17,571
Check's totally fine.
Don't even worry about it.
1326
01:25:18,572 --> 01:25:20,533
Thanks, Mr. Manfred.
1327
01:25:24,453 --> 01:25:27,873
Uh, first off, I've been
down here a couple of days now,
1328
01:25:27,957 --> 01:25:30,543
and I've gotten the chance
to know both families
1329
01:25:30,626 --> 01:25:33,004
and talk to a lot of people
about Tom here,
1330
01:25:33,087 --> 01:25:37,591
and I've heard what a charming,
kind, smart fella he is.
1331
01:25:37,675 --> 01:25:39,760
And, uh, I'm the luckiest guy
in the world,
1332
01:25:39,844 --> 01:25:43,014
because he's gonna take care
of my baby sister, which is great.
1333
01:25:43,097 --> 01:25:45,474
And I wouldn't have it any other way.
Thank you.
1334
01:25:47,601 --> 01:25:50,563
- Great job, Tommy. I'm proud of you.
- Well, we did it, didn't we folks?
1335
01:25:50,646 --> 01:25:52,064
Huh?
1336
01:25:52,148 --> 01:25:53,524
Yeah.
1337
01:25:53,607 --> 01:25:57,361
I don't think that any of us
thought that we would end up here.
1338
01:25:57,445 --> 01:26:00,740
Two great, very different families.
1339
01:26:00,823 --> 01:26:03,200
Laura Jane, I am honored
to call you my daughter.
1340
01:26:03,284 --> 01:26:06,704
Um, if I... If I could just take
one more second
1341
01:26:06,787 --> 01:26:08,873
to say something
to my beautiful wife, Sherry.
1342
01:26:08,956 --> 01:26:12,293
For so many years I have been
obsessed with my work.
1343
01:26:12,376 --> 01:26:17,340
But I've realized that... the only
thing that matters is you.
1344
01:26:20,301 --> 01:26:22,470
But the one thing I hope these kids learn
1345
01:26:22,553 --> 01:26:28,184
is that it doesn't matter
where you are or when it is.
1346
01:26:29,185 --> 01:26:33,189
But if you have the person you love
1347
01:26:33,272 --> 01:26:36,359
standing next to you by your side...
1348
01:26:36,442 --> 01:26:39,236
you're in the right place
at the right time.
1349
01:26:43,574 --> 01:26:45,242
And if you have that,
1350
01:26:45,326 --> 01:26:49,747
you will have something that will see you
through a whole host of hard times,
1351
01:26:49,830 --> 01:26:52,291
which include, but are not limited to,
1352
01:26:52,375 --> 01:26:55,586
the occasional dalliance,
premature ejaculation,
1353
01:26:55,669 --> 01:26:58,756
no ejaculation, hemorrhoids,
1354
01:26:58,839 --> 01:27:01,467
that thing they do
where they grind their teeth,
1355
01:27:01,550 --> 01:27:06,055
insomnia, loose teeth,
failing vision, halitosis.
1356
01:27:06,138 --> 01:27:07,640
Menopause.
1357
01:27:09,392 --> 01:27:11,519
I can't wait to spend
the rest of my life with you.
1358
01:27:14,522 --> 01:27:17,817
Give it, boy.
Give it. Go.
1359
01:28:25,968 --> 01:28:27,887
There's a...
1360
01:28:27,970 --> 01:28:29,805
There's a... you got a dolphin...
1361
01:28:31,348 --> 01:28:34,059
Hey! Hey!
Look! Look to your left!
1362
01:28:34,143 --> 01:28:37,396
To your left! No, I'm not
waving to you. No!
1363
01:29:05,799 --> 01:29:06,842
Retreat.
1364
01:29:09,303 --> 01:29:11,263
We'll be back.
1365
01:29:25,027 --> 01:29:26,195
I'm great.
1366
01:29:27,196 --> 01:29:28,864
You saved my life.
1367
01:29:28,948 --> 01:29:32,159
If you can believe it,
I'm terrified of the water.
1368
01:29:32,243 --> 01:29:33,953
At least I used to be.
1369
01:29:34,036 --> 01:29:36,205
You're my hero.
1370
01:29:36,288 --> 01:29:37,831
I'm not a hero.
1371
01:29:37,915 --> 01:29:39,833
I'm just Lance.
1372
01:29:39,917 --> 01:29:42,753
Lance, kiss me, you fool.
1373
01:29:45,548 --> 01:29:47,550
Tits, tits, tits...
1374
01:29:47,633 --> 01:29:52,513
tits, tits, tits, tits,
tits, tits...
1375
01:29:52,596 --> 01:30:00,563
SWEET... tits, tits, tits, tits,
tits, tits, tits,
1376
01:31:12,718 --> 01:31:15,679
The director is losing it
in the background.
1377
01:31:39,828 --> 01:31:41,705
Just because
you don't know where you are,
1378
01:31:41,789 --> 01:31:43,624
doesn't mean you're lost, Lance.
1379
01:31:43,707 --> 01:31:45,334
It sounds like something Poppy would say.
1380
01:31:45,417 --> 01:31:47,461
I guess it all worked out for the best.
1381
01:31:47,544 --> 01:31:50,381
That being said, where the hell am I?
1382
01:31:53,217 --> 01:31:55,052
We are about to have our sixth kid.
1383
01:31:55,135 --> 01:31:58,013
And Mr. Manfred, sir,
we're gonna name that kid after you,
1384
01:31:58,097 --> 01:32:00,182
and I don't care
if it's a boy or a girl.
1385
01:32:13,278 --> 01:32:14,279
Take me.
1386
01:32:30,587 --> 01:32:34,174
But you see, that's an area I actually
don't have a complaint about.
1387
01:32:34,258 --> 01:32:39,638
Papa, although he looks
large and heavy...
1388
01:32:40,806 --> 01:32:43,267
is large and heavy.
1389
01:32:49,481 --> 01:32:51,525
I'd like to dedicate a song
1390
01:32:51,608 --> 01:32:54,153
to all the girls that slept with Ricky.
1391
01:32:55,779 --> 01:32:58,365
Uh, uh, uh...
1392
01:32:58,449 --> 01:32:59,533
Come back.
1393
01:32:59,616 --> 01:33:01,118
Yup.
1394
01:33:01,201 --> 01:33:02,786
♪ Ricky's all up in ya ♪
1395
01:33:02,870 --> 01:33:04,329
♪ Ricky is a ninja ♪
1396
01:33:04,413 --> 01:33:05,706
♪ Ricky's all up in ya ♪
1397
01:33:05,789 --> 01:33:07,833
♪ Ricky is a ninja ♪
1398
01:33:07,916 --> 01:33:09,501
♪ Ricky's all up in ya ♪
1399
01:33:09,585 --> 01:33:10,961
♪ And Ricky is a ninja ♪
1400
01:33:11,044 --> 01:33:12,463
♪ All up in Jamaica ♪
1401
01:33:12,546 --> 01:33:13,922
♪ Ricky's all up in ya. ♪