0 00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:15,000 Kunjungi www.Fortunebet99.com Agen Judi Online Aman dan Terpercaya 1 00:00:07,108 --> 00:00:12,111 We met on the computer in 1966. 2 00:00:12,113 --> 00:00:14,046 It was called T.A.C.T.-- 3 00:00:14,048 --> 00:00:17,282 Technical Automated Compatibility Testing. 4 00:00:17,284 --> 00:00:21,120 They made us answer all these questions. 5 00:00:21,122 --> 00:00:22,554 "Do you like the beach?" 6 00:00:22,556 --> 00:00:24,056 "Do you speak another language?" 7 00:00:24,058 --> 00:00:26,425 I remember they even asked me 8 00:00:26,427 --> 00:00:29,028 to rank a woman's hairstyle. 9 00:00:29,030 --> 00:00:33,132 I believe I said I preferred a bob. 10 00:00:33,134 --> 00:00:34,333 I had a bob. 11 00:00:34,335 --> 00:00:36,702 [chuckles] Anyway, 12 00:00:36,704 --> 00:00:40,372 this giant IBM machine-- 13 00:00:40,374 --> 00:00:43,142 about the size of this room-- 14 00:00:43,144 --> 00:00:44,643 matches us together. 15 00:00:44,645 --> 00:00:45,811 It was... 16 00:00:45,813 --> 00:00:47,312 Love at first fan theory. 17 00:00:47,314 --> 00:00:49,114 [chuckles] We both frequented 18 00:00:49,116 --> 00:00:51,316 the same X-Files chat room in the '90's. 19 00:00:51,318 --> 00:00:54,319 I was just so nervous to meet her, 20 00:00:54,321 --> 00:00:58,323 but we emailed for about two years, until... 21 00:00:58,325 --> 00:00:59,758 He started favoriting some of my tweets 22 00:00:59,760 --> 00:01:01,360 about being drunk at brunch. 23 00:01:01,362 --> 00:01:03,362 And I love getting drunk at brunch. 24 00:01:03,364 --> 00:01:05,497 So then I started favoriting some of his tweets. 25 00:01:05,499 --> 00:01:07,499 So then we started re-tweeting each other, 26 00:01:07,501 --> 00:01:10,769 and then we started DM'ing each other, and then... 27 00:01:10,771 --> 00:01:13,472 I was on this Facebook page for incoming students 28 00:01:13,474 --> 00:01:15,774 and I saw a message that Melissa had posted 29 00:01:15,776 --> 00:01:17,276 about starting a knitting club. 30 00:01:17,278 --> 00:01:19,178 [laughs] James! 31 00:01:19,180 --> 00:01:21,246 - Of course you asked. - I just wanted to see 32 00:01:21,248 --> 00:01:22,714 if anyone was interested. 33 00:01:22,716 --> 00:01:25,384 But of course, when I held our first meeting, 34 00:01:25,386 --> 00:01:27,853 - only one person came. - [James laughs] 35 00:01:27,855 --> 00:01:29,721 I just thought she was cute. 36 00:01:29,723 --> 00:01:31,723 I just didn't realize I'd have to pretend 37 00:01:31,725 --> 00:01:34,159 to crochet a hat for two months straight. 38 00:01:34,161 --> 00:01:35,661 [both laugh] 39 00:01:35,663 --> 00:01:37,429 [female interviewer] And how long ago was that? 40 00:01:37,431 --> 00:01:38,530 Eight years. 41 00:01:38,532 --> 00:01:39,798 - Eight years? - Yes. 42 00:01:39,800 --> 00:01:41,400 [interviewer] And how are things going? 43 00:01:41,402 --> 00:01:43,102 Things are going really good. 44 00:01:43,104 --> 00:01:45,437 I'm about to get my PhD in microbiology, 45 00:01:45,439 --> 00:01:47,873 - and Mel is an amazing-- - I freelance mostly. 46 00:01:47,875 --> 00:01:49,842 But lately, I've been driving for Swyft. 47 00:01:49,844 --> 00:01:52,511 [man] Is she really talking to me? Or is she talking to her father? 48 00:01:52,513 --> 00:01:55,848 And as hard as you try, you will never be able to live up to him. 49 00:01:55,850 --> 00:01:58,383 Yes! You totally get it. 50 00:01:58,385 --> 00:01:59,718 [scoffs] Right. 51 00:01:59,720 --> 00:02:01,887 - So you begin to resent her. - Right. 52 00:02:01,889 --> 00:02:05,357 - Which starts this whole pattern of-- - No, make a right. 53 00:02:05,359 --> 00:02:06,592 - You're gonna miss the turn. - Oh, shit. 54 00:02:06,594 --> 00:02:08,327 I mean, the flexible hours are great. 55 00:02:08,329 --> 00:02:10,195 It gives me time to work on my art, 56 00:02:10,197 --> 00:02:12,631 and rehearse with my improv group, The Diva Cups. 57 00:02:12,633 --> 00:02:14,833 One word suggestion, then I need bing-bang boom. 58 00:02:14,835 --> 00:02:17,503 - [Mel vocalizing] - And a body! 59 00:02:17,505 --> 00:02:20,139 [Spanish accent] Today, we'll be having something especial I want to-- 60 00:02:20,141 --> 00:02:21,840 Ahh, meatballs sub. 61 00:02:21,842 --> 00:02:24,409 Now, they're really good. Really, really good. 62 00:02:24,411 --> 00:02:26,345 - Thank you, babe. - [both chuckle] 63 00:02:26,347 --> 00:02:27,813 Oh! And we just got 64 00:02:27,815 --> 00:02:29,882 - an apartment together. - Yes. Yes, we did. 65 00:02:29,884 --> 00:02:33,218 Do you think we should get a rug for the living room? 66 00:02:33,220 --> 00:02:35,587 Mmm, I'm not sure. 67 00:02:35,589 --> 00:02:37,923 - You decide. - [scoffs] 68 00:02:37,925 --> 00:02:39,525 Did you get a lamp yet? 69 00:02:39,527 --> 00:02:41,460 Not yet. Having trouble deciding. 70 00:02:41,462 --> 00:02:43,228 - Mmm. - James, did you read this, 71 00:02:43,230 --> 00:02:45,164 about this guy who's apparently meeting 72 00:02:45,166 --> 00:02:47,900 women online and kidnapping them? 73 00:02:47,902 --> 00:02:50,235 Oh, I read somewhere that it was a hoax. 74 00:02:50,237 --> 00:02:52,237 Mitchell's doin' it, you know. 75 00:02:52,239 --> 00:02:53,772 Kidnapping women? 76 00:02:53,774 --> 00:02:57,176 [chuckles] No. Meeting guys online. 77 00:02:57,178 --> 00:02:58,477 Really? So soon? 78 00:02:58,479 --> 00:03:01,613 I know. I still can't believe they broke up. 79 00:03:03,184 --> 00:03:04,650 They seemed so happy. 80 00:03:04,652 --> 00:03:06,885 I actually feel really sad and lonely. 81 00:03:06,887 --> 00:03:09,655 And I actually feel like there's a rock in my shoe. 82 00:03:09,657 --> 00:03:13,292 Trust me, they're gonna be back together in like no time. 83 00:03:13,294 --> 00:03:14,526 She told me she's getting dozens 84 00:03:14,528 --> 00:03:16,428 of messages a day from these guys. 85 00:03:16,430 --> 00:03:18,463 She's going out a lot... 86 00:03:19,266 --> 00:03:23,202 So, what do you want to do today? 87 00:03:25,306 --> 00:03:27,206 I have an idea. 88 00:03:27,208 --> 00:03:28,307 Huh. Oh! 89 00:03:28,309 --> 00:03:29,541 [grunts, laughs] 90 00:03:29,543 --> 00:03:30,976 - Hey... - [James chuckles] 91 00:03:30,978 --> 00:03:33,312 Let's have a party this weekend. 92 00:03:33,314 --> 00:03:34,880 What? No. 93 00:03:34,882 --> 00:03:36,515 - Ah, come on! - No. 94 00:03:36,517 --> 00:03:38,517 We'll have a lot of friends over, 95 00:03:38,519 --> 00:03:41,286 we need to show off our cool new pad... 96 00:03:41,288 --> 00:03:43,455 [scoffs] I thought you said 97 00:03:43,457 --> 00:03:45,791 parties give you anxiety. 98 00:03:45,793 --> 00:03:47,392 What? 99 00:03:48,696 --> 00:03:50,329 No, they don't. 100 00:03:50,331 --> 00:03:52,264 [Mel] Oh, my God, I'm having a panic attack. 101 00:03:52,266 --> 00:03:54,266 - [James] No, you're not. - [Mel] They're too many people here. 102 00:03:54,268 --> 00:03:56,401 Why didn't you remind me that I hate having dinner parties? 103 00:03:56,403 --> 00:03:58,503 [James] Babe, I did, several times. 104 00:03:58,505 --> 00:04:00,739 [Mel] Well, you need to be more convincing. 105 00:04:00,741 --> 00:04:03,242 Also, not a lot of people showed up. 106 00:04:03,244 --> 00:04:05,444 Forty people on Facebook RSVP'd, "Yes" 107 00:04:05,446 --> 00:04:07,846 and there's only like 20 people here. 108 00:04:07,848 --> 00:04:10,315 - [jazz playing over speakers] - Mmm. I thought you said 109 00:04:10,317 --> 00:04:12,584 there were too many people here. 110 00:04:13,587 --> 00:04:15,287 That's not the point. 111 00:04:15,289 --> 00:04:16,355 It's the principle. 112 00:04:16,357 --> 00:04:17,990 That's how it always is. 113 00:04:17,992 --> 00:04:19,758 Yes means maybe, 114 00:04:19,760 --> 00:04:22,394 maybe means no, no means... 115 00:04:22,396 --> 00:04:23,929 Yeah, well, I don't mean to be harsh 116 00:04:23,931 --> 00:04:25,897 you know, when there's EDM involved. 117 00:04:25,899 --> 00:04:28,000 - You're drunk. - No, I'm not. 118 00:04:29,303 --> 00:04:32,004 And did you meet Rachel's new boyfriend? 119 00:04:32,006 --> 00:04:34,940 - [James groans] - The guy she met on Bumble. 120 00:04:34,942 --> 00:04:37,276 [James] Of course she'd bring somebody new. 121 00:04:37,278 --> 00:04:38,710 What if Ben shows up? 122 00:04:38,712 --> 00:04:41,913 [Mel] I think that's what she's hoping for. 123 00:04:41,915 --> 00:04:44,449 - [Mel and James] She sees us. - [Rachel] Yeah... Guys, guys! 124 00:04:44,451 --> 00:04:46,385 - [Mel] Hi! - [James] Hey! 125 00:04:46,387 --> 00:04:48,053 I mean, I love this. 126 00:04:48,055 --> 00:04:49,821 I mean, I love the apartment. 127 00:04:49,823 --> 00:04:51,390 - I love you guys in it. - [man] Yeah... 128 00:04:51,392 --> 00:04:53,292 Thanks, we're really happy here. 129 00:04:53,294 --> 00:04:54,493 Yeah, it's perfect. 130 00:04:55,429 --> 00:04:57,629 So, Rachel, how's the new job? 131 00:04:57,631 --> 00:05:00,399 - Oh, hello, drunky-- - What! 132 00:05:00,401 --> 00:05:01,733 [laughter] 133 00:05:01,735 --> 00:05:03,302 You know, I mean, it's-- 134 00:05:03,304 --> 00:05:04,903 Ah, well, I'm about to quit. 135 00:05:04,905 --> 00:05:07,472 - [Mel] What happened this time? - So Gary tells me 136 00:05:07,474 --> 00:05:09,474 to get plastic forks for the break room. 137 00:05:09,476 --> 00:05:11,777 And I asked him if that is an appropriate task 138 00:05:11,779 --> 00:05:13,478 for the head of marketing, 139 00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:15,447 and he looks as me and he says, 140 00:05:15,449 --> 00:05:17,316 [deep voice] "Well, we need to market ourselves 141 00:05:17,318 --> 00:05:18,784 as a company that has forks." 142 00:05:18,786 --> 00:05:20,886 - Can you believe that? - [laughs] 143 00:05:20,888 --> 00:05:23,889 Why are you laughing? You've heard this story a dozen times. 144 00:05:23,891 --> 00:05:26,425 Oh, yeah. No, it's just the way you say that. 145 00:05:26,427 --> 00:05:28,360 It's hilarious. [laughs] 146 00:05:28,362 --> 00:05:30,028 Uh, hey guys, I'm Todd, by the way. 147 00:05:30,030 --> 00:05:31,963 - [Rachel] Oh, yeah, sorry. - [James] Hi, what's goin' on? 148 00:05:31,965 --> 00:05:33,799 - [Rachel] James, this is Todd. - [Todd] Nice to meet you guys. 149 00:05:33,801 --> 00:05:35,867 Thank you so much for having me. This place is awesome. 150 00:05:35,869 --> 00:05:38,437 It's like, it's like really great, I love it. 151 00:05:38,439 --> 00:05:40,572 How much do you guys pay actually, if you don't mind me asking? 152 00:05:40,574 --> 00:05:42,441 Actually, no, I'm sorry. Do not answer that, I'm so-- 153 00:05:42,443 --> 00:05:43,875 I do not why... [stammers] 154 00:05:43,877 --> 00:05:45,043 I don't know why I asked that. 155 00:05:45,045 --> 00:05:46,912 That's a bizarre thing to ask. 156 00:05:46,914 --> 00:05:48,947 Very intrusive, I hate when people ask stuff like that. 157 00:05:48,949 --> 00:05:51,550 I'm just-- I'm-- I'm planning on moving, so... 158 00:05:51,552 --> 00:05:53,018 - [Mel] Oh... - I'm lookin' for a place, 159 00:05:53,020 --> 00:05:54,686 and I really like this neighborhood. 160 00:05:54,688 --> 00:05:56,088 It's kind of like the... 161 00:05:56,090 --> 00:05:57,789 exact thing that I'm looking for, so... 162 00:05:57,791 --> 00:05:59,958 Just looking for like a-- If you don't mind, 163 00:05:59,960 --> 00:06:01,460 like a ballpark figure for a frame of reference. 164 00:06:01,462 --> 00:06:02,828 - Todd... - Oh, yeah. Sorry, sorry. 165 00:06:02,830 --> 00:06:04,529 No, no, no, no. You're right, you're right. 166 00:06:04,531 --> 00:06:05,764 So I asked the same thing twice. 167 00:06:05,766 --> 00:06:07,366 - Twice in a row. Bizarre. - Yeah... 168 00:06:07,368 --> 00:06:08,700 I'm sorry. It's none of my business. 169 00:06:08,702 --> 00:06:10,936 [laughs] So, uh, sorry about that. 170 00:06:11,939 --> 00:06:13,538 So... 171 00:06:13,540 --> 00:06:15,407 - Ah, so, Todd... - Yo. 172 00:06:15,409 --> 00:06:16,508 Ah, what do you do? 173 00:06:16,510 --> 00:06:17,843 Ah, I'm in finance actually, 174 00:06:17,845 --> 00:06:20,078 but my real passion is food-- Tapas. 175 00:06:20,080 --> 00:06:22,881 - Wow. - I love tapas. I actually have a blog 176 00:06:22,883 --> 00:06:25,784 all about tapas called, "Top Tapas With Todd Tom." 177 00:06:25,786 --> 00:06:27,686 - I don't know if you guys heard of it. - It's very creative. 178 00:06:27,688 --> 00:06:29,154 - It's pretty pop-- Oh, thank you. - [Rachel] Loves the tapas. 179 00:06:29,156 --> 00:06:30,589 Wait. Uh, okay. 180 00:06:30,591 --> 00:06:32,824 Your name is Todd... 181 00:06:32,826 --> 00:06:33,859 - [Rachel] Yeah. - Tom? 182 00:06:33,861 --> 00:06:34,926 - Todd Tom. - Tom. 183 00:06:34,928 --> 00:06:36,161 - Todd Tom. - Todd Tom. 184 00:06:36,163 --> 00:06:38,096 - Yeah, that's a-- - Psych. Rachel. 185 00:06:38,098 --> 00:06:39,965 - Just talk to you for a second? - Uh, babe? 186 00:06:39,967 --> 00:06:41,967 - You just talk. You know... - [James] Okay. 187 00:06:41,969 --> 00:06:43,502 - Don't say anything weird. - [Todd] Anything what? 188 00:06:43,504 --> 00:06:45,504 Weird. 189 00:06:45,506 --> 00:06:47,005 Yeah, what's up? 190 00:06:47,775 --> 00:06:50,008 His name is Dustin. 191 00:06:50,010 --> 00:06:51,943 He's really nice. He's really funny. 192 00:06:51,945 --> 00:06:53,945 He's the founding member of Pizza Hat, 193 00:06:53,947 --> 00:06:56,748 which is like the biggest improv group in L.A., 194 00:06:56,750 --> 00:06:58,650 so I'm surely surprised that he's here. 195 00:06:58,652 --> 00:07:01,787 - [Rachel] Hmm. - [Mel] Anyway, he's single... 196 00:07:01,789 --> 00:07:03,889 [Rachel scoffs] Oh, no, I could never date 197 00:07:03,891 --> 00:07:05,624 anyone who does improv. 198 00:07:05,626 --> 00:07:07,125 - No offense. - [Mel] Oh. 199 00:07:07,127 --> 00:07:08,960 [Rachel] Anyways, I'm seeing Todd. 200 00:07:08,962 --> 00:07:11,997 - Don't you like Todd? - Yeah. No. 201 00:07:11,999 --> 00:07:13,865 Todd, Todd seems great. 202 00:07:13,867 --> 00:07:16,768 It just-- I didn't think you were that into him. 203 00:07:16,770 --> 00:07:19,638 [Rachel] Really? No, I'm totally into Todd. 204 00:07:19,640 --> 00:07:21,606 He's so... 205 00:07:22,042 --> 00:07:23,108 nice. 206 00:07:23,110 --> 00:07:24,910 [scoffs] I just, I can't date 207 00:07:24,912 --> 00:07:27,179 and other introverted pessimist with intimacy issues. 208 00:07:27,181 --> 00:07:29,214 - [Mel chuckles] - Speaking of which... 209 00:07:29,216 --> 00:07:32,584 um, do you know, is Ben coming? 210 00:07:32,586 --> 00:07:34,886 Yeah, he stopped texting. 211 00:07:35,656 --> 00:07:37,856 But he did Snapchat 212 00:07:37,858 --> 00:07:39,791 a photo of a dead pigeon about an hour ago, 213 00:07:39,793 --> 00:07:40,959 so we know he's alive. 214 00:07:40,961 --> 00:07:42,093 Yeah. 215 00:07:42,095 --> 00:07:43,862 I thought the break up was mutual. 216 00:07:43,864 --> 00:07:45,230 It was, 217 00:07:45,232 --> 00:07:46,865 but now he's... 218 00:07:46,867 --> 00:07:48,567 [sighs] He and I just... 219 00:07:48,569 --> 00:07:51,570 I really want us to be friends. 220 00:07:51,572 --> 00:07:54,906 Oh! And you will be. 221 00:07:54,908 --> 00:07:57,542 But you guys dated for four years, 222 00:07:57,544 --> 00:07:59,244 you can't just erase that. 223 00:07:59,246 --> 00:08:01,580 I think Ben just needs some... 224 00:08:01,582 --> 00:08:03,548 some Ben time. 225 00:08:03,550 --> 00:08:04,749 Yeah. 226 00:08:04,751 --> 00:08:06,618 Nope. Never mind. 227 00:08:06,620 --> 00:08:07,786 There he is. 228 00:08:07,788 --> 00:08:09,588 [Rachel] Oh... 229 00:08:13,894 --> 00:08:15,627 Hey. 230 00:08:15,629 --> 00:08:16,895 - Hi. [chuckles] - [Ben] Hey. 231 00:08:16,897 --> 00:08:18,830 - Hi, I'm, uh... - Mere question. 232 00:08:18,832 --> 00:08:20,699 - Yeah? - Do you have any pot? 233 00:08:20,701 --> 00:08:22,033 Ah, no, sorry, I don't. 234 00:08:22,035 --> 00:08:24,135 Oh, your eyes are really red. 235 00:08:24,137 --> 00:08:25,737 - Oh! Yeah, no, no, no. - Smoke pot-- 236 00:08:25,739 --> 00:08:27,639 Sorry. I've-- I was just crying. 237 00:08:27,641 --> 00:08:29,274 Oh. Okay. 238 00:08:29,276 --> 00:08:31,710 Can I grab it? Thank you so much. 239 00:08:32,613 --> 00:08:35,180 [people chattering] 240 00:08:39,586 --> 00:08:41,887 Ooh, Ben! 241 00:08:41,889 --> 00:08:43,622 You look terrible. 242 00:08:43,624 --> 00:08:45,957 Thank you, Lawrence. I feel like shit. 243 00:08:45,959 --> 00:08:48,159 This place is great. How long you had the lease for? 244 00:08:48,161 --> 00:08:51,162 Ah. Mmm. Excuse me. I have it for a year. 245 00:08:51,164 --> 00:08:54,866 I'm gonna finish my PhD in May, so I could potentially get 246 00:08:54,868 --> 00:08:56,968 a teaching job anywhere, so... 247 00:08:56,970 --> 00:08:58,703 [Ben] Will Mel go with you? 248 00:08:58,705 --> 00:09:01,773 Uh-- I don't-- I don't-- I don't know. 249 00:09:01,775 --> 00:09:05,043 We've-- We've have not had that conversation yet. 250 00:09:05,045 --> 00:09:07,646 Well, you know, take it from me, people, like all of 'em, 251 00:09:07,648 --> 00:09:09,648 garbage, so if you found the kind of garbage 252 00:09:09,650 --> 00:09:11,716 you can stand to be around in a hot apartment all day, 253 00:09:11,718 --> 00:09:13,885 you know, don't throw it out, because that's what I did. 254 00:09:13,887 --> 00:09:15,787 - [Ben laughs] - Well, you're single. 255 00:09:15,789 --> 00:09:17,722 Have fun, there's plenty of women out there 256 00:09:17,724 --> 00:09:19,658 - for you to disappoint. - [all chuckle] 257 00:09:19,660 --> 00:09:21,960 - Thank you. - I don't really like the term single. 258 00:09:21,962 --> 00:09:23,728 - Thank you so much. - [Lawrence and James] Oh. 259 00:09:23,730 --> 00:09:26,064 Kinda prefer the term involuntarily alone. 260 00:09:27,200 --> 00:09:29,568 You should, uh-- You should get on Bumble. 261 00:09:29,570 --> 00:09:31,636 - That's how I met my girlfriend. - [James] No-- Um... 262 00:09:31,638 --> 00:09:33,672 - I'm sorry, who are you? - Oh, sorry. Todd. 263 00:09:33,674 --> 00:09:36,641 Nice to meet you, man. I'm Rachel Strauss' boyfriend. 264 00:09:36,643 --> 00:09:38,577 I don't know where she went. She's around here somewhere. 265 00:09:38,579 --> 00:09:39,978 - I'm Ben. - Nice to meet you, Ben. 266 00:09:39,980 --> 00:09:41,813 Well, I should probably get goin'. 267 00:09:41,815 --> 00:09:43,048 - [James] Ben... - I'm sure I'll be seein' you 268 00:09:43,050 --> 00:09:44,349 in my next panic dream, Todd, 269 00:09:44,351 --> 00:09:45,984 enjoying having sex with the only woman 270 00:09:45,986 --> 00:09:47,953 - I have ever loved. - Ahh. Uh-- 271 00:09:47,955 --> 00:09:50,255 - Take it easy. Uh, I-- - Ben-- 272 00:10:05,606 --> 00:10:07,072 [sets beer down on table] 273 00:10:13,647 --> 00:10:15,180 [door opens] 274 00:10:16,116 --> 00:10:17,382 [Mel] That's not done yet. 275 00:10:17,384 --> 00:10:18,683 You made this? 276 00:10:18,685 --> 00:10:20,652 Mm-hmm. 277 00:10:20,654 --> 00:10:22,220 And I talked to Rachel. 278 00:10:22,222 --> 00:10:24,356 She really wants to be your friend... 279 00:10:24,358 --> 00:10:26,725 I don't want her to want to be my friend. 280 00:10:26,727 --> 00:10:28,693 What, do you want her to break down into tears 281 00:10:28,695 --> 00:10:30,295 every time someone mentions your name? 282 00:10:30,297 --> 00:10:32,030 Yeah, I feel like that's the least she could do. 283 00:10:32,032 --> 00:10:34,699 That, and like some, like, dry heaving or something. 284 00:10:34,701 --> 00:10:37,102 - [chuckles] - Your room's kinda dark. 285 00:10:37,104 --> 00:10:39,671 I know! It needs a lamp. 286 00:10:39,673 --> 00:10:41,406 Guess who found old cocaine in his back pocket 287 00:10:41,408 --> 00:10:43,775 that he completely forgot about? 288 00:10:43,777 --> 00:10:45,877 [Lawrence chuckles] 289 00:10:47,714 --> 00:10:49,681 Uh, maybe another time. 290 00:10:49,683 --> 00:10:50,849 All right. 291 00:10:50,851 --> 00:10:53,351 [Ben] Quick. All right. 292 00:10:53,887 --> 00:10:56,321 Drama-aaa. 293 00:10:57,024 --> 00:10:58,690 [nose snorting cocaine] 294 00:10:58,692 --> 00:11:00,258 [Rachel] Okay, now, you think that is bad? 295 00:11:00,260 --> 00:11:02,260 I went on this Tinder date with this guy 296 00:11:02,262 --> 00:11:05,897 who literally brought his Indian leftovers 297 00:11:05,899 --> 00:11:07,732 to the bar and ate them. 298 00:11:07,734 --> 00:11:10,135 - [Lawrence laughs] - That was horrifying! 299 00:11:10,137 --> 00:11:12,303 And he wouldn't even give me a Samosa. 300 00:11:12,305 --> 00:11:14,873 [Lawrence laughs] A Samosa. 301 00:11:14,875 --> 00:11:17,375 Okay, why are you laughing, stalker? 302 00:11:17,377 --> 00:11:20,178 - Do not call me that. - What are you talking about? 303 00:11:20,180 --> 00:11:22,714 - Who are you stalking? - No. No one. 304 00:11:22,716 --> 00:11:23,882 I'm not stalking anyone. 305 00:11:23,884 --> 00:11:27,118 - [Mel] Lawrence! - Stop! No! 306 00:11:27,120 --> 00:11:29,421 Here. His name is Marco. 307 00:11:29,423 --> 00:11:32,190 - [Mel] Hold on... - And he is my future husband. 308 00:11:32,192 --> 00:11:33,925 Oh, really? 309 00:11:33,927 --> 00:11:37,228 - Like. Like. Like. Like-- - Stop! 310 00:11:37,230 --> 00:11:39,130 Girl, don't do that! Oh, my goodness. 311 00:11:39,132 --> 00:11:41,733 You know, I have actually been getting 312 00:11:41,735 --> 00:11:44,302 a lot of threesome requests. 313 00:11:44,304 --> 00:11:46,938 Actually, there was this one couple who was pretty cute. 314 00:11:46,940 --> 00:11:49,808 They had pictures of them rock climbing and stuff. 315 00:11:49,810 --> 00:11:52,177 - [Lawrence] Would you? - No! 316 00:11:52,179 --> 00:11:55,780 I'm like 65 in threesome years. 317 00:11:56,750 --> 00:11:58,450 I mean, honestly... 318 00:11:59,986 --> 00:12:02,087 I just want what Mel has. 319 00:12:02,089 --> 00:12:04,189 [coughing] What do I have? 320 00:12:04,191 --> 00:12:06,024 [Lawrence] Yeah, what does she have? 321 00:12:06,026 --> 00:12:08,026 [metallic clicking] 322 00:12:11,031 --> 00:12:13,164 [James] There she is, there she is. 323 00:12:13,166 --> 00:12:16,468 - You makin'-- You makin' toast? - [James] Hi. Yes, I am. 324 00:12:16,470 --> 00:12:18,336 - Oh, okay. - [James] Ooh! 325 00:12:18,338 --> 00:12:21,506 Ah, I wasn't gonna do this tonight, but I figured 326 00:12:21,508 --> 00:12:24,142 since I'm-- I'm in a really good mood tonight, 327 00:12:24,144 --> 00:12:27,912 and all you beautiful people are here, so... 328 00:12:27,914 --> 00:12:28,980 Whoo. 329 00:12:28,982 --> 00:12:30,749 - Wow. - [both laugh] 330 00:12:30,751 --> 00:12:33,151 - So, Mel... - Yeah? 331 00:12:34,187 --> 00:12:36,821 - You're my best friend. - Oh. 332 00:12:36,823 --> 00:12:38,423 And I love you. 333 00:12:38,425 --> 00:12:40,225 Will you marry me? 334 00:12:45,799 --> 00:12:47,465 Mel. 335 00:12:48,268 --> 00:12:49,501 Mel... 336 00:12:49,503 --> 00:12:51,536 - What? - Will you marry me? 337 00:12:51,538 --> 00:12:53,304 - Yes. - Ah! 338 00:12:53,306 --> 00:12:56,107 - Yeah! Why not? - [crowd cheering] 339 00:13:09,456 --> 00:13:12,090 [solemn music playing] 340 00:13:19,399 --> 00:13:21,299 [upbeat music playing] 341 00:13:26,406 --> 00:13:27,939 [phone dings] 342 00:13:32,312 --> 00:13:35,079 [Ben] That sushi in your pic looks delicious. 343 00:13:35,081 --> 00:13:36,948 Where is it? 344 00:13:38,151 --> 00:13:40,885 [Allison] It's this place called Fish Giza. 345 00:13:40,887 --> 00:13:42,887 Mmm, it's so good. 346 00:13:42,889 --> 00:13:44,856 You have to go. 347 00:13:44,858 --> 00:13:48,126 [Ben] I know that place. I live right near it. 348 00:13:48,128 --> 00:13:50,562 Oh, my gosh, I'm so jealous. 349 00:13:50,564 --> 00:13:53,198 I would kill to live near there. 350 00:13:54,100 --> 00:13:56,167 Not me, I hope. 351 00:13:58,905 --> 00:14:01,172 [laughs] 352 00:14:02,075 --> 00:14:04,175 So what do you do for work? 353 00:14:16,990 --> 00:14:20,625 - [phone dings] - I'm in hotel management. 354 00:14:20,627 --> 00:14:23,027 So are you up to anything this weekend? 355 00:14:23,029 --> 00:14:25,029 Wanna grab a drink? 356 00:14:28,335 --> 00:14:29,934 Oh, come on! 357 00:14:29,936 --> 00:14:32,503 - [man] Been drivin' long? - Yeah, like six months. 358 00:14:32,505 --> 00:14:34,138 - Oh, wow. - Yeah. 359 00:14:34,140 --> 00:14:36,107 - [phone buttons clicking] - Yeah, it's good. 360 00:14:36,109 --> 00:14:37,942 Makes good money, I hear. 361 00:14:37,944 --> 00:14:39,110 - Yeah, it can. - Yeah? 362 00:14:39,112 --> 00:14:40,411 - It depends. - Yeah. 363 00:14:40,413 --> 00:14:42,113 Um, the most important thing 364 00:14:42,115 --> 00:14:44,616 is just it allows my schedule to be flexible. 365 00:14:44,618 --> 00:14:46,351 - Right. - Yeah. 366 00:14:46,353 --> 00:14:48,887 - What do you do? - I'm a director. 367 00:14:48,889 --> 00:14:50,922 What do you direct? That's cool. 368 00:14:50,924 --> 00:14:52,490 Reality television, mostly. 369 00:14:52,492 --> 00:14:54,292 Oh, would I-- Would I know any of it? 370 00:14:54,294 --> 00:14:57,061 Um, I pretty much do the shows 371 00:14:57,063 --> 00:14:59,197 where fat white men find trash 372 00:14:59,199 --> 00:15:00,531 and sell it to other fat white men 373 00:15:00,533 --> 00:15:01,599 for small amounts of money. 374 00:15:01,601 --> 00:15:03,101 Right up my alley. [laughs] 375 00:15:03,103 --> 00:15:05,069 Do you, um-- Do you like it? 376 00:15:05,071 --> 00:15:07,472 - Is it fun? - Sorry. This is actually really important. 377 00:15:07,474 --> 00:15:10,141 Oh! Totally, no problem. 378 00:15:10,143 --> 00:15:12,343 - Sorry. - No, it's all right. 379 00:15:12,345 --> 00:15:14,412 [woman] Just like, I don't know if my life 380 00:15:14,414 --> 00:15:16,381 is really, really lost. 381 00:15:16,383 --> 00:15:18,116 What do you like to do? 382 00:15:18,118 --> 00:15:21,986 I like to watch Law and Order reruns, 383 00:15:21,988 --> 00:15:24,122 uh, particularly with Mariska Hargitay. 384 00:15:24,124 --> 00:15:26,925 - I think she's incredible. - Okay. Definitely. 385 00:15:26,927 --> 00:15:28,927 Well, have you thought about being a cop? 386 00:15:28,929 --> 00:15:31,930 - [scoffs] No. - [turn signal clicking] 387 00:15:36,336 --> 00:15:38,236 Um, why are we stopping? 388 00:15:38,238 --> 00:15:39,938 You picked Swyft Pools, 389 00:15:39,940 --> 00:15:41,572 so there's another passenger. 390 00:15:41,574 --> 00:15:44,075 Oh, but I didn't know that, so can we just leave him? 391 00:15:47,080 --> 00:15:49,547 - Hey. - Hey. 392 00:15:49,549 --> 00:15:52,016 Hi. So, your destination didn't come through. 393 00:15:52,018 --> 00:15:53,451 Where are you headed? 394 00:15:58,258 --> 00:16:00,458 [Allison laughs] I'm from Wisconsin. 395 00:16:00,460 --> 00:16:03,294 You know, I don't think I've ever met anybody from Wisconsin before. 396 00:16:03,296 --> 00:16:05,563 Well, yeah. It's like this small, 397 00:16:05,565 --> 00:16:08,333 Lutheran town outside of Madison. 398 00:16:08,335 --> 00:16:10,568 You're Lutheran? I don't think I've ever met 399 00:16:10,570 --> 00:16:13,037 - one of those before. - Aw, I must be 400 00:16:13,039 --> 00:16:15,340 - really exotic to you. - [jazz playing over speakers] 401 00:16:15,342 --> 00:16:17,575 Yeah, yeah. God, you are. 402 00:16:17,577 --> 00:16:22,313 I feel like I'm on a date with a unicorn or something. 403 00:16:22,315 --> 00:16:24,382 [stammers] Where in L.A. do you live? 404 00:16:24,384 --> 00:16:26,551 I'm sorry, did you already tell me that? I-I have this thing 405 00:16:26,553 --> 00:16:28,987 where if I read something on my phone, I like instantly forget it. 406 00:16:28,989 --> 00:16:31,990 No, no, I don't-- I don't think we went over that. 407 00:16:31,992 --> 00:16:33,391 - I live in Silverlake. - Oh, nice. 408 00:16:33,393 --> 00:16:36,127 Yeah, my ex, Rachel, lives in Silverlake. 409 00:16:36,129 --> 00:16:38,329 [laughs] Which I'm sure is very interesting to you. 410 00:16:38,331 --> 00:16:39,998 God, I'm sorry. 411 00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:42,033 I'm just realizing how bad I am at this. 412 00:16:42,035 --> 00:16:43,368 [chuckles] 413 00:16:43,370 --> 00:16:44,435 This is very uncomfortable, isn't it? 414 00:16:44,437 --> 00:16:46,170 No. 415 00:16:48,008 --> 00:16:49,173 It's not-- 416 00:16:49,175 --> 00:16:50,508 It's not. 417 00:16:50,510 --> 00:16:53,077 Not uncomfortable. 418 00:16:53,079 --> 00:16:55,213 Okay, new game plan. Why don't you get another drink, 419 00:16:55,215 --> 00:16:57,215 and I'm just going to walk outside and quietly step into traffic. 420 00:16:57,217 --> 00:16:59,517 [laughs] It's okay. It's fine, really. 421 00:16:59,519 --> 00:17:01,753 Uh, I remember 422 00:17:01,755 --> 00:17:05,456 what it's like dating again after a break-up. 423 00:17:07,060 --> 00:17:09,193 Uh, how long has it been? 424 00:17:09,195 --> 00:17:11,696 She broke up with me about six months ago. 425 00:17:12,732 --> 00:17:14,198 He said I dumped him? 426 00:17:14,200 --> 00:17:16,401 Are you kidding me? It was mutual. 427 00:17:16,403 --> 00:17:19,337 [Rachel] We were in a bad place for almost a year. 428 00:17:19,339 --> 00:17:21,773 Ben was unhappy, I was unhappy. 429 00:17:21,775 --> 00:17:24,108 I felt like everything I said annoyed him, 430 00:17:24,110 --> 00:17:27,078 and I resented him for making me feel that way. 431 00:17:27,080 --> 00:17:29,313 Things were great between us. I mean, they weren't like 432 00:17:29,315 --> 00:17:31,416 they were at the beginning, but, you know, they never are. 433 00:17:31,418 --> 00:17:34,652 We had a good connection. Things were fine. Really. 434 00:17:34,654 --> 00:17:37,755 And then one night, totally organically, 435 00:17:37,757 --> 00:17:39,757 we just broke down, 436 00:17:39,759 --> 00:17:42,593 and started talking to each other. 437 00:17:42,595 --> 00:17:44,729 Then one night, she totally blindsides me 438 00:17:44,731 --> 00:17:46,764 and says, "We need to talk about our relationship." 439 00:17:46,766 --> 00:17:48,833 Then she just starts listing off all the terrible things 440 00:17:48,835 --> 00:17:50,501 I've done to her over the past year. 441 00:17:50,503 --> 00:17:53,237 I mean, she's tiny, but she's got the memory 442 00:17:53,239 --> 00:17:55,173 of a fuckin' elephant. It was... 443 00:17:55,175 --> 00:17:57,608 Great. We were completely honest 444 00:17:57,610 --> 00:17:59,644 about the way that we were feeling 445 00:17:59,646 --> 00:18:01,179 and what we wanted. 446 00:18:01,181 --> 00:18:03,815 It was just like old times. 447 00:18:03,817 --> 00:18:05,817 We laughed about our past 448 00:18:05,819 --> 00:18:07,418 and we promised each other 449 00:18:07,420 --> 00:18:09,087 that we would love each other forever 450 00:18:09,089 --> 00:18:11,255 and we'd be in each other's lives. 451 00:18:12,158 --> 00:18:13,491 And it was over. 452 00:18:14,260 --> 00:18:15,726 Well, that was until 453 00:18:15,728 --> 00:18:17,462 five days later when he showed up 454 00:18:17,464 --> 00:18:19,330 at my place completely drunk. 455 00:18:19,332 --> 00:18:22,100 Called me a bitch, vomited in my vase 456 00:18:22,102 --> 00:18:23,768 and then unfriended me on Facebook. 457 00:18:23,770 --> 00:18:25,736 Why would I want to be her Facebook friend? 458 00:18:25,738 --> 00:18:27,538 Why would I want to see photos of her 459 00:18:27,540 --> 00:18:29,774 and be constantly reminded-- You know, there was a time 460 00:18:29,776 --> 00:18:32,543 when we used to break-up and just never see each other again. 461 00:18:32,545 --> 00:18:34,378 Just wander off to the next town, 462 00:18:34,380 --> 00:18:36,214 meet a girl, get Syphilis and die. 463 00:18:36,216 --> 00:18:38,449 The Facebook thing hurt more than I thought it would. 464 00:18:38,451 --> 00:18:41,319 We had 257 mutual friends, 465 00:18:41,321 --> 00:18:43,354 dozens of photos tagged together, 466 00:18:43,356 --> 00:18:47,158 and hundreds of inside jokes posted on each other's wall. 467 00:18:48,161 --> 00:18:50,428 And now it was all... 468 00:18:51,197 --> 00:18:53,297 And I broke up with him. 469 00:18:56,169 --> 00:18:57,502 Ben. Ben. 470 00:18:57,504 --> 00:18:59,637 I'm gonna have sex with you, okay? 471 00:18:59,639 --> 00:19:02,206 But I just feel like I need to do this 472 00:19:02,208 --> 00:19:04,242 because it's been a long time since I've been with anyone 473 00:19:04,244 --> 00:19:07,211 who isn't Peter, but I want to be totally honest with you. 474 00:19:07,213 --> 00:19:10,281 I don't want to see you again after tonight, okay? 475 00:19:10,283 --> 00:19:13,484 You're clearly not in a good place emotionally. 476 00:19:13,486 --> 00:19:14,919 You're sensibly unemployed, 477 00:19:14,921 --> 00:19:16,621 and like a majority of your jokes 478 00:19:16,623 --> 00:19:18,389 make me really uncomfortable. 479 00:19:18,391 --> 00:19:20,158 So, yeah. 480 00:19:20,160 --> 00:19:23,227 I just want to be up front with you about that. 481 00:19:23,229 --> 00:19:25,396 So we're going to have sex? 482 00:19:26,900 --> 00:19:28,633 - [unzips zipper] - Oh, God. 483 00:19:28,635 --> 00:19:30,301 [Mel] Isn't it weird that just a few hours before 484 00:19:30,303 --> 00:19:31,903 - she was a total stranger? - [Ben] She's cute. 485 00:19:31,905 --> 00:19:33,604 I think that's kind of what I like about it. 486 00:19:33,606 --> 00:19:35,606 - What? - My life is full of people 487 00:19:35,608 --> 00:19:38,543 I grew up with or I went to school with, or I work with, 488 00:19:38,545 --> 00:19:40,645 and it's kind of a narrow cross-section, if you think about it. 489 00:19:40,647 --> 00:19:42,213 - It's like educated artists-- - [Lawrence] Ben-- 490 00:19:42,215 --> 00:19:43,848 - I am not an artist. - What I mean is, 491 00:19:43,850 --> 00:19:46,484 I rarely meet people who are truly different than me. 492 00:19:46,486 --> 00:19:48,819 With this, you know, I can kind of expand beyond 493 00:19:48,821 --> 00:19:50,321 my immediate bubble. 494 00:19:50,323 --> 00:19:51,689 What about Rachel? She's Chinese. 495 00:19:51,691 --> 00:19:53,491 - She's outside your bubble. - Adopted. 496 00:19:53,493 --> 00:19:55,493 She's more Jewish than I am. And the private school 497 00:19:55,495 --> 00:19:57,495 she went to had an even smaller class than mine. 498 00:19:57,497 --> 00:19:59,430 [James] So, when are you going to see this girl again? 499 00:19:59,432 --> 00:20:01,432 [Ben] I don't know. She texted me. 500 00:20:01,434 --> 00:20:03,601 But, uh, I got a couple more dates coming up next week, 501 00:20:03,603 --> 00:20:05,670 so I'm gonna kinda see how things go. 502 00:20:05,672 --> 00:20:07,772 Yeah, good call. Play the field, 503 00:20:07,774 --> 00:20:10,208 make an informed choice-- I like that. 504 00:20:10,210 --> 00:20:11,909 [Lawrence] Take it from an expert, 505 00:20:11,911 --> 00:20:13,544 people aren't that different. 506 00:20:13,546 --> 00:20:15,913 I mean, sure, some people are Lutheran, 507 00:20:15,915 --> 00:20:17,381 some people are fat, 508 00:20:17,383 --> 00:20:19,684 some people grew up in an igloo. 509 00:20:19,686 --> 00:20:22,286 But it's like eating a thing of grapes. 510 00:20:22,288 --> 00:20:23,487 Like, some are a little sweeter, 511 00:20:23,489 --> 00:20:24,889 some are a little tartier, 512 00:20:24,891 --> 00:20:27,291 some are weird and pruny. 513 00:20:27,293 --> 00:20:30,428 But at the end of the day, they all taste like grapes. 514 00:20:30,430 --> 00:20:32,797 - [Ben whistles] Oh... - [all snap fingers] 515 00:20:32,799 --> 00:20:34,832 I'm just-- Look-- No, I'm just sayin', 516 00:20:34,834 --> 00:20:37,301 don't get your hopes up-- a grape is a grape. 517 00:20:37,303 --> 00:20:39,537 - [Mel] Food... - [James] Yes, it is. 518 00:20:41,241 --> 00:20:43,474 - [Ben] Thank you. - [waiter] You're welcome. 519 00:20:43,476 --> 00:20:45,543 - [James] Thank you, sir. - [utensils clanging] 520 00:20:45,545 --> 00:20:48,479 - [waiter] Can I get you anything else? - I think we're good, thank you. 521 00:20:48,481 --> 00:20:50,014 [waiter] Enjoy. 522 00:20:52,252 --> 00:20:53,751 Is that Marco? 523 00:20:53,753 --> 00:20:55,386 That's why you were so desperate to come here? 524 00:20:55,388 --> 00:20:57,355 - Who's Marco? - Shh. 525 00:20:57,357 --> 00:20:58,956 Oh, I ordered the wrong thing. 526 00:20:58,958 --> 00:21:01,959 - Can I have yours instead, boo? Thank you. - I was-- Um-- 527 00:21:01,961 --> 00:21:04,262 - [whispering] Who's Marco? - Mm-mm. 528 00:21:04,264 --> 00:21:07,331 - I want to know about Marco. - Quiet. Don't say it again. 529 00:21:07,333 --> 00:21:09,033 Say it again. 530 00:21:11,304 --> 00:21:12,903 I really fucking envy you, man. 531 00:21:12,905 --> 00:21:14,805 Don't. It's not all great. 532 00:21:14,807 --> 00:21:16,540 I meet this one girl a few days ago, 533 00:21:16,542 --> 00:21:17,875 and she's really weird. 534 00:21:17,877 --> 00:21:19,343 I'm so wet right now. 535 00:21:19,345 --> 00:21:21,345 Yeah? I mean, cool. 536 00:21:21,347 --> 00:21:23,848 I'm gonna take a nice, relaxing shower. 537 00:21:23,850 --> 00:21:26,317 - Do you wanna watch? - Yeah, sure. 538 00:21:26,319 --> 00:21:27,985 Great. Just click the link below 539 00:21:27,987 --> 00:21:29,754 - to accept my invite. - What? 540 00:21:29,756 --> 00:21:31,489 These bots are getting really good. 541 00:21:31,491 --> 00:21:33,291 We had a two hour conversation about Wes Anderson 542 00:21:33,293 --> 00:21:34,892 before I realized I wasn't talking to anybody. 543 00:21:34,894 --> 00:21:37,461 Yeah, but for the most part, it's really easy, right? 544 00:21:37,463 --> 00:21:38,963 Eh... 545 00:21:38,965 --> 00:21:41,065 If I were you, I would go on a fucking tear. 546 00:21:41,067 --> 00:21:42,633 [chuckles] 547 00:21:42,635 --> 00:21:44,068 You know I've only had sex with two women, right? 548 00:21:44,070 --> 00:21:45,836 There you are. Can we go, please? 549 00:21:45,838 --> 00:21:47,638 'Cause I'm tryin' to cut down on the amount of time 550 00:21:47,640 --> 00:21:49,507 I spend with heteros and I'm way over my limit 551 00:21:49,509 --> 00:21:50,708 for the month. 552 00:21:50,710 --> 00:21:51,942 [keyboard clacking] 553 00:21:54,080 --> 00:21:56,580 - Oh, my God. - What? 554 00:21:57,450 --> 00:21:59,350 Brilliant idea. 555 00:21:59,352 --> 00:22:00,685 What's up? 556 00:22:00,687 --> 00:22:03,354 We should make Tinder accounts. 557 00:22:05,325 --> 00:22:06,957 What-- Why? 558 00:22:06,959 --> 00:22:10,328 So we can look at other people's profiles and judge them. 559 00:22:10,330 --> 00:22:12,363 Duh. [laughs] 560 00:22:12,999 --> 00:22:14,598 Come on, we won't-- 561 00:22:14,600 --> 00:22:16,367 We won't message anyone, 562 00:22:16,369 --> 00:22:19,103 and we'll just delete our accounts after tonight. 563 00:22:20,406 --> 00:22:22,807 Come on, it'll be fun. 564 00:22:22,809 --> 00:22:24,709 What picture are you using? 565 00:22:24,711 --> 00:22:26,744 I'm using the one from my boat trip, 566 00:22:26,746 --> 00:22:29,714 where the sun is in my eyes and my face is all like... 567 00:22:29,716 --> 00:22:33,417 God. The one that Blowjob Wiggins liked. 568 00:22:33,419 --> 00:22:35,553 Have you noticed that in every one of her photos, 569 00:22:35,555 --> 00:22:37,855 she, she stretches her neck out 570 00:22:37,857 --> 00:22:40,891 like an ostrich. She-- 571 00:22:40,893 --> 00:22:42,526 You're not even her friend on Facebook. 572 00:22:42,528 --> 00:22:44,628 I go into your profile sometimes. 573 00:22:45,765 --> 00:22:47,631 You don't look pretty in the picture. 574 00:22:47,633 --> 00:22:49,433 You look constipated. 575 00:22:50,470 --> 00:22:52,570 [police siren blaring in distance] 576 00:22:57,877 --> 00:23:00,745 [swiping sound] 577 00:23:02,415 --> 00:23:04,682 How many matches do you have? 578 00:23:04,684 --> 00:23:06,717 Only 38. You? 579 00:23:06,719 --> 00:23:09,053 "Only 38"? I have two. 580 00:23:09,622 --> 00:23:11,422 Let me see. 581 00:23:13,893 --> 00:23:16,794 Oh, well, this Erin girl is a bot. 582 00:23:16,796 --> 00:23:18,662 Okay, great. So I have one. 583 00:23:18,664 --> 00:23:21,065 Yeah, but Gwen just messaged you. 584 00:23:21,067 --> 00:23:22,666 Really? 585 00:23:22,668 --> 00:23:24,568 What did she say? 586 00:23:25,538 --> 00:23:27,905 "You look like you have to... 587 00:23:28,908 --> 00:23:30,641 poop." 588 00:23:30,643 --> 00:23:33,110 - That's not funny. - [Mel laughs] 589 00:23:33,112 --> 00:23:35,546 Some of my messages are really lude. 590 00:23:35,548 --> 00:23:38,082 Tyler says I have a fuckable ass. 591 00:23:38,084 --> 00:23:39,550 We know that. 592 00:23:39,552 --> 00:23:42,453 Jordan says that he would like 593 00:23:42,455 --> 00:23:44,622 to eat me out for a year. 594 00:23:44,624 --> 00:23:46,190 A year, James. 595 00:23:46,192 --> 00:23:48,859 One time I said I wasn't crazy about cunnilingus, 596 00:23:48,861 --> 00:23:50,494 and that was because you said you felt-- 597 00:23:50,496 --> 00:23:52,096 you felt self-conscious about it. 598 00:23:52,098 --> 00:23:54,098 What-- No, I'm just saying because of the message. 599 00:23:54,100 --> 00:23:56,100 No, this is what's wrong with these apps, all right. 600 00:23:56,102 --> 00:23:57,868 It just gives a bunch a pervs a reason 601 00:23:57,870 --> 00:23:59,937 to verbally assault women on these forums. 602 00:23:59,939 --> 00:24:01,939 Why are you being so angry and feminist? 603 00:24:01,941 --> 00:24:04,742 - I'm not, okay. I di-- - Most of us actually care-- 604 00:24:04,744 --> 00:24:06,610 I didn't want to do this. 605 00:24:07,647 --> 00:24:09,914 [swiping sound] 606 00:24:13,586 --> 00:24:15,019 [sighs] 607 00:24:22,495 --> 00:24:24,695 [keyboard clacking softly] 608 00:24:41,013 --> 00:24:42,780 Over the past three months, I have been on 609 00:24:42,782 --> 00:24:45,015 16 different dates with 16 different women, 610 00:24:45,017 --> 00:24:46,851 and for the most part, 611 00:24:46,853 --> 00:24:49,119 these women, who I suddenly found in front of me 612 00:24:49,121 --> 00:24:52,022 were pretty attractive and intelligent. 613 00:24:52,024 --> 00:24:54,258 I'm just finishing up my master's in econ. 614 00:24:54,260 --> 00:24:56,193 But my real passion is poetry. 615 00:24:56,195 --> 00:24:59,230 And they all had really interesting things to say. 616 00:24:59,232 --> 00:25:01,732 Did you know that an adult eagle 617 00:25:01,734 --> 00:25:04,702 can pick up a full grown deer 618 00:25:04,704 --> 00:25:07,171 - and fly away with it? - That's very interesting. 619 00:25:07,173 --> 00:25:08,672 I mean, it's not contextually relevant, 620 00:25:08,674 --> 00:25:10,274 but it's very-- it's interesting. 621 00:25:10,276 --> 00:25:12,009 And they all had different jobs and passions. 622 00:25:12,011 --> 00:25:13,744 I'm in financial planning. 623 00:25:13,746 --> 00:25:15,813 I'm in the police academy. 624 00:25:15,815 --> 00:25:18,849 I'm a social media branding coordination strategist. 625 00:25:18,851 --> 00:25:21,752 - That's not a thing. - Yeah, you're right. 626 00:25:21,754 --> 00:25:23,954 I think I got the hang of things pretty quickly. 627 00:25:23,956 --> 00:25:26,557 You know, asking questions that were interesting, 628 00:25:26,559 --> 00:25:28,626 but not too prying, giving compliments 629 00:25:28,628 --> 00:25:30,761 that were specific without being creepy, 630 00:25:30,763 --> 00:25:33,964 seeming at once accessible, and aloof. 631 00:25:35,535 --> 00:25:38,235 - [moaning] Oh, God. - Oh, God. 632 00:25:38,237 --> 00:25:39,537 Oh, God! 633 00:25:39,539 --> 00:25:41,305 [different woman] Oh, God! 634 00:25:41,307 --> 00:25:43,073 Oh, God! 635 00:25:45,044 --> 00:25:47,645 - Did you just cum? - Maybe. 636 00:25:47,647 --> 00:25:49,580 They weren't all great dates. Some of them were 637 00:25:49,582 --> 00:25:51,015 completely disinterested in me. 638 00:25:51,017 --> 00:25:52,783 Do you like working in communications? 639 00:25:52,785 --> 00:25:53,884 [buttons clacking] 640 00:25:53,886 --> 00:25:55,586 Or very uncomfortable. 641 00:25:55,588 --> 00:25:58,188 I, uh-- Well, you see, um-- 642 00:25:58,190 --> 00:25:59,823 But when-- 643 00:25:59,825 --> 00:26:01,625 Or entirely too comfortable. 644 00:26:01,627 --> 00:26:03,127 Can I get you something to drink? 645 00:26:03,129 --> 00:26:04,862 Oh, sorry, I can't drink. 646 00:26:04,864 --> 00:26:07,631 I'm on this new medication for an infection I have. 647 00:26:07,633 --> 00:26:10,334 Oh. That was probably T.M.I., right? 648 00:26:10,336 --> 00:26:12,803 My psychiatrist says I need to use better judgment 649 00:26:12,805 --> 00:26:14,238 about when it's okay to be honest. 650 00:26:14,240 --> 00:26:15,739 It's fine. 651 00:26:15,741 --> 00:26:17,308 Heh. Let's just talk about something else. 652 00:26:17,310 --> 00:26:19,176 Are both your parents living? Because mine aren't. 653 00:26:19,178 --> 00:26:22,346 I began to feel less like I was going on dates, 654 00:26:22,348 --> 00:26:24,815 and more like I was interviewing them for some kind of census. 655 00:26:24,817 --> 00:26:26,717 The same questions, the same answers. 656 00:26:26,719 --> 00:26:28,852 And soon, all these women who had seemed 657 00:26:28,854 --> 00:26:30,254 so different and unique, 658 00:26:30,256 --> 00:26:32,089 all started to sort of blend together. 659 00:26:32,091 --> 00:26:34,658 I started noticing patterns, like how a lot of the ones 660 00:26:34,660 --> 00:26:38,662 who swipe right on me, loved intramural soccer and Boba tea, 661 00:26:38,664 --> 00:26:40,664 and how they all seemed to have these really great 662 00:26:40,666 --> 00:26:43,901 and hilarious older brothers, named like, Greg or Steve. 663 00:26:43,903 --> 00:26:46,904 Also, I realized that I had great text chemistry 664 00:26:46,906 --> 00:26:49,807 with girls who liked anime, but the second we met up... 665 00:26:49,809 --> 00:26:51,308 I don't like you. 666 00:26:56,949 --> 00:26:58,749 [phone shutter clicks] 667 00:26:58,751 --> 00:27:01,919 Oh, um, now, I actually wanted to tell you something. 668 00:27:01,921 --> 00:27:07,358 I met up with that couple I was telling you about, and... 669 00:27:07,360 --> 00:27:09,627 Well, I had a three-way! 670 00:27:10,663 --> 00:27:12,363 When? 671 00:27:12,365 --> 00:27:14,231 Three months ago. 672 00:27:14,233 --> 00:27:15,933 And you're just telling me now? 673 00:27:15,935 --> 00:27:17,668 Can you take a photo of me? 674 00:27:17,670 --> 00:27:19,336 Ever since Ben unfriended me, there's literally 675 00:27:19,338 --> 00:27:21,372 no good pictures of me online. 676 00:27:21,374 --> 00:27:22,773 [phone shutter clicks] 677 00:27:22,775 --> 00:27:24,308 So how was it? 678 00:27:24,310 --> 00:27:27,144 - My cheeks look weird. - The three-way, Rachel. 679 00:27:27,146 --> 00:27:29,279 I liked it. I mean all the attention. 680 00:27:29,281 --> 00:27:31,048 It felt good. 681 00:27:31,050 --> 00:27:34,351 [laughs] I just can't believe that you, you did that. 682 00:27:34,353 --> 00:27:36,654 You and James should try it. 683 00:27:36,656 --> 00:27:39,690 Yeah, well, I think James and I can manage 684 00:27:39,692 --> 00:27:42,126 without boinking weird strangers. 685 00:27:43,696 --> 00:27:45,062 All right. 686 00:27:46,699 --> 00:27:48,966 I'm sorry... 687 00:27:48,968 --> 00:27:50,968 I'm a little jealous, I guess. 688 00:27:50,970 --> 00:27:52,736 What? Really? 689 00:27:52,738 --> 00:27:54,805 Yeah. It-- 690 00:27:54,807 --> 00:27:58,809 I don't know, I feel like I'm in middle school again, and... 691 00:27:58,811 --> 00:28:01,078 I don't know, I just-- I'm not very experienced, 692 00:28:01,080 --> 00:28:02,813 and it's stupid. Just-- 693 00:28:02,815 --> 00:28:06,316 Mel, you have nothing to be jealous about. 694 00:28:06,318 --> 00:28:09,219 Honestly, my therapist said that the only reason why 695 00:28:09,221 --> 00:28:11,889 I did it was because I was having a panicky reaction 696 00:28:11,891 --> 00:28:13,290 to your engagement. 697 00:28:13,292 --> 00:28:15,459 Really? You mean that? 698 00:28:15,461 --> 00:28:17,327 I only saw them once, then I started 699 00:28:17,329 --> 00:28:18,962 hooking up with a couple Tinder randos. 700 00:28:18,964 --> 00:28:20,264 How many? 701 00:28:21,834 --> 00:28:23,267 [Rachel moans] 702 00:28:23,269 --> 00:28:24,802 Wait... 703 00:28:24,804 --> 00:28:27,771 Is this another dude's blue Oxford button down? 704 00:28:28,441 --> 00:28:29,740 Uh... 705 00:28:29,742 --> 00:28:30,941 Uh... 706 00:28:30,943 --> 00:28:32,376 Two or three, I think. 707 00:28:32,378 --> 00:28:35,179 Then I started dating this older guy, Richard. 708 00:28:35,181 --> 00:28:37,815 - How old? - Forties. 709 00:28:40,486 --> 00:28:42,853 [phone vibrates] 710 00:28:42,855 --> 00:28:46,457 I think someone... in your family might've died. 711 00:28:46,459 --> 00:28:49,359 - What? - Your phone has been vibrating 712 00:28:49,361 --> 00:28:51,195 - for the past 30 minutes. - Oh. 713 00:28:51,197 --> 00:28:53,063 Someone's desperately trying to get a hold of you. 714 00:28:53,065 --> 00:28:54,732 Mmm. That-- No. 715 00:28:54,734 --> 00:28:56,033 [scoffs] 716 00:28:56,035 --> 00:28:58,001 I'm just a part of three group texts. 717 00:28:58,003 --> 00:29:00,137 Either someone is having an emotional breakdown 718 00:29:00,139 --> 00:29:01,772 or brunch plans are being made. 719 00:29:01,774 --> 00:29:03,373 - [laughs] - Either way, no big deal. 720 00:29:07,747 --> 00:29:09,980 [grunts] I have an idea. 721 00:29:12,284 --> 00:29:13,484 What--? 722 00:29:14,887 --> 00:29:16,353 Follow me. 723 00:29:17,289 --> 00:29:20,023 Richard, where are you going? 724 00:29:26,232 --> 00:29:27,531 Richard? 725 00:29:27,533 --> 00:29:30,134 [dramatic music playing] 726 00:29:38,144 --> 00:29:39,777 Richard, are you in there? 727 00:29:39,779 --> 00:29:41,545 [Richard] Yeah, babe, come on in. 728 00:29:41,547 --> 00:29:43,881 [Rachel] If this is your murder chamber, 729 00:29:43,883 --> 00:29:45,549 I'm gonna be so pissed. 730 00:29:50,856 --> 00:29:53,257 Why are you sweating so much? 731 00:29:53,259 --> 00:29:55,425 So it turns out, he's a chiropractor, 732 00:29:55,427 --> 00:29:58,095 and wanted to do work on me, because apparently I have 733 00:29:58,097 --> 00:30:00,798 the back of an 80-year-old with double D's. 734 00:30:00,800 --> 00:30:03,500 I think in like, three dates, 735 00:30:03,502 --> 00:30:06,870 he did over a thousand dollars with of chiropractic work on me. 736 00:30:06,872 --> 00:30:09,006 Wow! Are you still seeing him? 737 00:30:09,008 --> 00:30:12,209 Not really. I mean, my back is fixed. 738 00:30:12,211 --> 00:30:15,245 - Hey, Mel. - Dustin. [chuckles] 739 00:30:15,247 --> 00:30:16,947 You know, I was actually just thinking about you. 740 00:30:16,949 --> 00:30:19,016 Really? Uh, cool. 741 00:30:19,018 --> 00:30:21,218 This is my friend Rachel. Rachel, Dustin. 742 00:30:21,220 --> 00:30:23,020 How is it goin'? You know, I've actually seen 743 00:30:23,022 --> 00:30:25,255 some of your stuff on YouTube, and your imitation 744 00:30:25,257 --> 00:30:28,091 of a masturbating octopus is pretty funny. 745 00:30:28,093 --> 00:30:31,361 Thank you. That actually came from a very real place. 746 00:30:31,363 --> 00:30:33,030 Oh, I can tell because 747 00:30:33,032 --> 00:30:36,500 I am a quarter jellyfish on my father's side. 748 00:30:36,502 --> 00:30:39,503 Really? I swore I saw a stingray in you. 749 00:30:39,505 --> 00:30:41,538 - [laughs] - So why were you thinking of me? 750 00:30:41,540 --> 00:30:44,174 Oh. Um, because I promised a friend of mine 751 00:30:44,176 --> 00:30:46,210 who works for this retirement facility that I would come in 752 00:30:46,212 --> 00:30:48,478 and do some improv exercises with the residents tomorrow, 753 00:30:48,480 --> 00:30:51,248 and I was hoping I might find a teacher's assistant? 754 00:30:51,250 --> 00:30:53,083 - You got one. - Great. 755 00:30:53,085 --> 00:30:54,918 I'll text you the address. 756 00:30:54,920 --> 00:30:56,954 Rachel, you should come too. 757 00:30:56,956 --> 00:31:00,357 Oh, no, she has a regular 9 to 5 job, so-- 758 00:31:00,359 --> 00:31:03,026 You know, my boss is actually recovering from Coachella, 759 00:31:03,028 --> 00:31:04,595 so I have the whole week off. 760 00:31:04,597 --> 00:31:06,496 But you've never done improv, so-- 761 00:31:06,498 --> 00:31:08,332 Well, can't I just learn as we go along? 762 00:31:08,334 --> 00:31:10,500 Isn't that how improv works? 763 00:31:10,502 --> 00:31:12,536 You improvise. 764 00:31:12,538 --> 00:31:14,037 She's an expert already. 765 00:31:14,039 --> 00:31:15,606 - Cool. - Great. 766 00:31:16,909 --> 00:31:19,576 Hello, Sunshine Senior Care Center. 767 00:31:19,578 --> 00:31:21,311 - Ha-ha. - [dead quiet response] 768 00:31:21,313 --> 00:31:23,614 How's everybody doin'? 769 00:31:26,151 --> 00:31:28,886 Okay, um, my name is Dustin, 770 00:31:28,888 --> 00:31:33,257 and I'm going to teach you some improvisational exercises. 771 00:31:36,095 --> 00:31:38,662 Why don't we, uh, do an exercise? 772 00:31:38,664 --> 00:31:41,164 I bet that'll make sense, get things moving. 773 00:31:41,166 --> 00:31:44,468 Uh, Melissa and Rachel, you guys wanna come up here? 774 00:31:47,006 --> 00:31:51,174 Okay. Um, now, they're gonna walk around, 775 00:31:51,176 --> 00:31:54,311 and when I shout an adjective or a noun, 776 00:31:54,313 --> 00:31:58,081 they're gonna change their walk in accordance with that word. 777 00:31:58,083 --> 00:32:00,017 Okay, guys? 778 00:32:00,019 --> 00:32:01,518 Begin. 779 00:32:02,388 --> 00:32:03,954 Heavy. 780 00:32:03,956 --> 00:32:06,189 Make your walks heavier. 781 00:32:09,094 --> 00:32:10,560 Friendly. 782 00:32:13,699 --> 00:32:16,700 Wow, very friendly. [laughs] 783 00:32:16,702 --> 00:32:18,402 Um, okay... 784 00:32:18,404 --> 00:32:19,670 Snake. 785 00:32:21,140 --> 00:32:23,206 [Rachel making slithering sounds] 786 00:32:24,543 --> 00:32:26,944 Um, o-- Okay then. 787 00:32:26,946 --> 00:32:28,512 Uh, I think everyone's got it. 788 00:32:28,514 --> 00:32:30,280 Uh, now it's your turn. 789 00:32:30,282 --> 00:32:32,549 [upbeat music playing] 790 00:33:22,568 --> 00:33:24,368 Thanks so much for helping out. 791 00:33:24,370 --> 00:33:27,604 Definitely. And if you ever need help with this again, 792 00:33:27,606 --> 00:33:30,007 or just want to hang out, feel free to text me. 793 00:33:30,009 --> 00:33:33,043 I drive for Swyft now, so my schedule's very flexible. 794 00:33:33,045 --> 00:33:35,112 I actually wanted to talk to you. 795 00:33:35,114 --> 00:33:36,780 Uh, Jill from Pizza Hat 796 00:33:36,782 --> 00:33:40,083 just got staffed as a writer on this MTV sitcom, 797 00:33:40,085 --> 00:33:43,053 so we're looking for a new female to replace her, 798 00:33:43,055 --> 00:33:45,022 and I mentioned your name. 799 00:33:45,024 --> 00:33:47,257 You did? [laughs] That's amazing. 800 00:33:47,259 --> 00:33:49,026 No, it's not decided yet. 801 00:33:49,028 --> 00:33:51,261 Um, it's between you and a few other girls. 802 00:33:51,263 --> 00:33:53,330 Just let me know when your next show is, 803 00:33:53,332 --> 00:33:55,565 and I'll bring Spike and the other guys by to check you out. 804 00:33:55,567 --> 00:33:59,436 Okay. Uh, I think we have one at the end of the month. 805 00:33:59,438 --> 00:34:02,239 Hey, just throwing this out there. 806 00:34:02,241 --> 00:34:05,275 Maybe you could bring on more than one girl? 807 00:34:05,277 --> 00:34:07,177 Yeah, we talked about that, 808 00:34:07,179 --> 00:34:09,046 but Spike's pretty adamant. 809 00:34:09,048 --> 00:34:11,581 You know, the six guy, one girl dynamic 810 00:34:11,583 --> 00:34:13,283 is what powers Pizza Hat, so... 811 00:34:13,285 --> 00:34:16,153 - That was so much fun. - Told ya. 812 00:34:17,056 --> 00:34:19,289 Um, all right, I got to go. 813 00:34:19,291 --> 00:34:21,658 - See you Saturday, Rach? - All right, I'll see you then. 814 00:34:21,660 --> 00:34:23,293 Cool. See you around, Melissa. 815 00:34:23,295 --> 00:34:24,761 And let me know when that show is. 816 00:34:24,763 --> 00:34:26,329 [dry chuckle] 817 00:34:26,331 --> 00:34:27,764 What's on Saturday? 818 00:34:27,766 --> 00:34:30,634 Oh, Dustin invited me to one of his shows. 819 00:34:30,636 --> 00:34:32,836 - That's okay, right? - Of course it is. 820 00:34:32,838 --> 00:34:36,773 I just thought you said improv makes you nervous? 821 00:34:37,443 --> 00:34:38,842 It does. I just-- 822 00:34:38,844 --> 00:34:40,744 He seems so nice. 823 00:34:41,613 --> 00:34:43,213 Right. 824 00:34:43,215 --> 00:34:45,715 Mel, I actually wanted to tell you something. 825 00:34:45,717 --> 00:34:47,851 - I saw James on Tinder. - What? 826 00:34:47,853 --> 00:34:50,754 I was on the other day, and he showed up. 827 00:34:50,756 --> 00:34:52,589 I mean, I wouldn't worry too much about it. 828 00:34:52,591 --> 00:34:54,391 I'm sure it was just a joke. 829 00:34:56,228 --> 00:35:00,297 We deleted the app on our phone after the little experiment. 830 00:35:00,299 --> 00:35:03,533 But... you can re-download. That can happen, right? 831 00:35:11,176 --> 00:35:13,310 [Jazz music playing] 832 00:35:41,640 --> 00:35:43,907 I'm-- I'm so sorry I'm late. 833 00:35:43,909 --> 00:35:45,775 Traffic was so shitty, and my phone died, 834 00:35:45,777 --> 00:35:48,145 so I couldn't text you-- I hope you weren't waiting long. 835 00:35:48,147 --> 00:35:50,280 No, no, not at all. Um, yeah, here. 836 00:35:50,282 --> 00:35:51,681 Okay. 837 00:35:53,919 --> 00:35:55,318 Oh. That was here. 838 00:35:55,320 --> 00:35:56,887 Oh, perfect. 839 00:35:56,889 --> 00:36:00,624 I'm just gonna-- So, Ben, you, um... 840 00:36:00,626 --> 00:36:02,759 Listen, Gabriele, the-- Uh... 841 00:36:02,761 --> 00:36:04,427 - How many times did you text me? - [notifications dinging] 842 00:36:04,429 --> 00:36:06,663 I was just concerned that, um-- 843 00:36:06,665 --> 00:36:08,865 I just wanted to make sure you were-- you were on-- 844 00:36:08,867 --> 00:36:10,734 everything was-- I wasn't sure if 845 00:36:10,736 --> 00:36:12,402 - something had pa-- Um-- - [Gabriele scoffs] 846 00:36:12,404 --> 00:36:14,504 [laughing] 847 00:36:15,274 --> 00:36:16,473 Not cool. 848 00:36:16,475 --> 00:36:18,275 It's all right. 849 00:36:20,479 --> 00:36:22,279 - [Ben] Thank you very much. - Thank you. 850 00:36:22,281 --> 00:36:24,948 So yeah, I took the LSAT last month, 851 00:36:24,950 --> 00:36:26,917 and I'm working at the mall and living at home 852 00:36:26,919 --> 00:36:28,585 while I wait to hear back from schools. 853 00:36:28,587 --> 00:36:30,620 What made you want to get into law? 854 00:36:30,622 --> 00:36:32,189 I have a really good serious face. 855 00:36:32,191 --> 00:36:33,456 I just didn't want to waste it. 856 00:36:33,458 --> 00:36:34,758 Oh, let's see it. 857 00:36:34,760 --> 00:36:36,493 Oh, yeah, that is a good serious face. 858 00:36:36,495 --> 00:36:38,361 - You weren't kidding. - I know, right? 859 00:36:38,363 --> 00:36:39,462 [chuckles] 860 00:36:39,464 --> 00:36:40,764 - Wanna sit? - Yeah. 861 00:36:40,766 --> 00:36:42,399 - Yeah. - Well, what about you? 862 00:36:42,401 --> 00:36:45,202 Tell me about being a writer. What do you write? 863 00:36:45,204 --> 00:36:46,803 Uh, well, I'd like to write for television, 864 00:36:46,805 --> 00:36:49,239 which is stupid, because everybody wants to do that. 865 00:36:49,241 --> 00:36:50,473 Oh, cool. Like what? 866 00:36:50,475 --> 00:36:51,641 Uh, I really like drama. 867 00:36:51,643 --> 00:36:53,810 Like Breaking Bad, The Wire. 868 00:36:53,812 --> 00:36:55,645 - Like that. - I haven't seen those. 869 00:36:55,647 --> 00:36:56,947 I don't watch a lot of TV. 870 00:36:56,949 --> 00:36:59,216 So what have you written for? 871 00:36:59,218 --> 00:37:00,617 Nothing yet. 872 00:37:00,619 --> 00:37:02,519 You kind of need to know somebody to break in, 873 00:37:02,521 --> 00:37:04,454 so right now, I must write click bait. 874 00:37:04,456 --> 00:37:06,656 Still, you're following your dream. 875 00:37:06,658 --> 00:37:08,992 Yeah, I'm starting to think I might be happier if I wasn't. 876 00:37:08,994 --> 00:37:11,361 - How do you mean? - Well... 877 00:37:11,363 --> 00:37:13,597 Just like, my whole life, every adult I've ever known-- 878 00:37:13,599 --> 00:37:15,365 parents, teachers, orthodontists-- 879 00:37:15,367 --> 00:37:17,300 told me I'm special and talented, 880 00:37:17,302 --> 00:37:19,269 and if I worked hard enough, I could accomplish my dreams. 881 00:37:19,271 --> 00:37:21,004 You know, I got sent to like writing camps 882 00:37:21,006 --> 00:37:23,607 and elite universities, and special abroad programs, 883 00:37:23,609 --> 00:37:26,009 and now I'm here, and I'm unemployed, 884 00:37:26,011 --> 00:37:28,411 and I'm competing against thousands of other people 885 00:37:28,413 --> 00:37:30,580 who were told that they were special and they were talented, 886 00:37:30,582 --> 00:37:32,882 and if they just worked really hard, they could accomplish their dreams, 887 00:37:32,884 --> 00:37:35,485 and there's just no way we could all be that special. 888 00:37:35,487 --> 00:37:38,255 - You know? - Mmm. Mmm. 889 00:37:38,257 --> 00:37:40,290 That sounds rough, dude. 890 00:37:40,292 --> 00:37:42,425 So I'm working on an abroad program... 891 00:37:42,427 --> 00:37:43,827 - Oh, shit. - I'm sorry. [chuckles] 892 00:37:43,829 --> 00:37:45,495 - No. - It was a-- 893 00:37:45,497 --> 00:37:46,730 No, you got me. 894 00:37:46,732 --> 00:37:50,467 Um, so what is click bait? 895 00:37:51,503 --> 00:37:54,371 Um, it's like an article with... 896 00:37:54,373 --> 00:37:56,906 a misleadingly flashy headline to get you to click on it. 897 00:37:56,908 --> 00:37:58,975 - Like what? - Like the other week, 898 00:37:58,977 --> 00:38:01,378 a paparazzi took a photo of Mark Ruffalo eating ice cream, 899 00:38:01,380 --> 00:38:03,013 and I wrote an article called, "You'll Never Guess 900 00:38:03,015 --> 00:38:04,514 Where Mark Ruffalo Puts His Ice Cream." 901 00:38:04,516 --> 00:38:06,316 Oh, I get it. Because it implies 902 00:38:06,318 --> 00:38:08,518 Mark Ruffalo sticks ice cream up his butt. 903 00:38:08,520 --> 00:38:10,487 - Yeah. That's really clever. - Right. Yeah. 904 00:38:10,489 --> 00:38:12,055 Thank you. I mean, well, for spam. 905 00:38:12,057 --> 00:38:14,391 No, it's funny. You shouldn't be so hard on yourself. 906 00:38:14,393 --> 00:38:17,627 Oh. Well, here's my Swyft, so... 907 00:38:17,629 --> 00:38:19,596 Oh. Uh. Hey. 908 00:38:19,598 --> 00:38:21,831 - Do you want to go out again? - Yeah. Yeah. 909 00:38:21,833 --> 00:38:23,633 - Tuesday? - Oh, I can't do Tuesdays. 910 00:38:23,635 --> 00:38:25,902 No, yeah, that'd be great. Sorry, it was a weird joke. 911 00:38:25,904 --> 00:38:28,338 - Yeah, Tuesday would be great. - Okay, cool. 912 00:38:28,340 --> 00:38:30,373 I just didn't want to wait three days to send you text. 913 00:38:30,375 --> 00:38:31,741 Yeah, I know. 914 00:38:31,743 --> 00:38:34,511 - Oh, would you mind? - Oh, sure, yeah. Please. 915 00:38:34,513 --> 00:38:36,546 - Thank you. - Thanks. 916 00:38:39,418 --> 00:38:43,353 ♪ Let your mind be free ♪ 917 00:38:43,355 --> 00:38:44,788 [spoon clanging in ceramic bowl] 918 00:38:44,790 --> 00:38:47,624 ♪ To think of the future ♪ 919 00:38:48,360 --> 00:38:49,893 [swallows ice cream] 920 00:38:49,895 --> 00:38:52,329 ♪ And the dreams You hope will be ♪ 921 00:38:53,899 --> 00:38:56,866 ♪ Let your heart remember too... ♪ 922 00:38:58,370 --> 00:38:59,869 I have an idea. 923 00:38:59,871 --> 00:39:01,071 [James] Hmm? 924 00:39:01,073 --> 00:39:02,706 Let's re-download Tinder 925 00:39:02,708 --> 00:39:05,542 and switch phones with each other. 926 00:39:05,544 --> 00:39:07,110 I think it'd be really interesting 927 00:39:07,112 --> 00:39:08,845 to see what girl you like. 928 00:39:09,881 --> 00:39:11,414 What? 929 00:39:11,416 --> 00:39:14,551 Come on, let's switch phones. 930 00:39:14,553 --> 00:39:18,488 Babe, see I'm busy right now? 931 00:39:19,558 --> 00:39:21,091 All right, I'll borrow yours. 932 00:39:21,093 --> 00:39:22,592 [muffled] No, wait. Why? What are you--? 933 00:39:22,594 --> 00:39:26,062 There's no-- You don't need to. 934 00:39:26,064 --> 00:39:28,498 I've already seen it, James. 935 00:39:29,768 --> 00:39:31,101 What? 936 00:39:32,637 --> 00:39:35,138 You're messaging a lot of girls. 937 00:39:36,141 --> 00:39:37,440 A lot, a lot. 938 00:39:37,442 --> 00:39:39,376 [dry chuckle] 939 00:39:39,378 --> 00:39:41,511 Wait, so... 940 00:39:41,513 --> 00:39:43,380 you're going through my phone now? 941 00:39:43,382 --> 00:39:45,415 The things you say to them. 942 00:39:45,417 --> 00:39:47,851 - Jokes. - Hmm? 943 00:39:47,853 --> 00:39:52,422 You offered to take several girls to "pound town", 944 00:39:52,424 --> 00:39:55,425 and you told some slutty Asian that you wanted 945 00:39:55,427 --> 00:39:57,394 - to be her fuck slave. - [James laughs] 946 00:39:57,396 --> 00:39:59,863 - I mean, what the fuck, James? - [laughs] 947 00:40:00,632 --> 00:40:02,732 - No. No! - Stop laughing! 948 00:40:02,734 --> 00:40:04,601 They're just jokes. I was just trying to see 949 00:40:04,603 --> 00:40:06,035 if that even works on any girls. 950 00:40:06,037 --> 00:40:08,872 - Like-- - Why would you do this to me? 951 00:40:08,874 --> 00:40:11,107 Do what? I didn't do anything. 952 00:40:11,109 --> 00:40:12,976 It's not like I met up with these girls. 953 00:40:12,978 --> 00:40:14,677 Yeah, I went out with James once. 954 00:40:14,679 --> 00:40:16,613 There wasn't really any chemistry. 955 00:40:16,615 --> 00:40:19,582 I think we hung out like, mmm, 956 00:40:19,584 --> 00:40:21,184 two or three times. 957 00:40:21,186 --> 00:40:24,554 We might've made out a little bit. 958 00:40:24,556 --> 00:40:26,556 After we slept together, he broke down, 959 00:40:26,558 --> 00:40:29,459 and started crying about how much he loved his fiancé. 960 00:40:29,461 --> 00:40:32,095 So I listened to him for like two hours, 961 00:40:32,097 --> 00:40:34,798 and then he didn't even have the decency to text me after. 962 00:40:34,800 --> 00:40:35,999 Asshole. 963 00:40:36,001 --> 00:40:37,634 You're an asshole. 964 00:40:37,636 --> 00:40:39,869 An ass-- How am I an asshole? 965 00:40:39,871 --> 00:40:41,471 I didn't even cheat. 966 00:40:41,473 --> 00:40:43,673 Cheating, I could wrap my head around. 967 00:40:43,675 --> 00:40:45,442 But this? 968 00:40:45,444 --> 00:40:47,844 It's so much more unsavory. 969 00:40:47,846 --> 00:40:50,213 Okay, I think you're over reacting, 970 00:40:50,215 --> 00:40:52,582 because this is not that big of a deal. 971 00:40:53,718 --> 00:40:54,984 It's a big deal to me, 972 00:40:54,986 --> 00:40:56,920 so it's a big deal, okay? 973 00:40:56,922 --> 00:40:59,622 Okay. Okay. 974 00:41:09,468 --> 00:41:11,134 [scoffs] 975 00:41:12,103 --> 00:41:14,671 I think we need to take a break. 976 00:41:19,945 --> 00:41:23,613 Okay, you've opened and closed the same folder three times. 977 00:41:23,615 --> 00:41:24,981 Well, I can't find the file 978 00:41:24,983 --> 00:41:26,983 that my boss is freaking out about. 979 00:41:26,985 --> 00:41:29,986 I'm seriously like this close to quitting. 980 00:41:31,490 --> 00:41:33,122 - Okay. - Whoa-- 981 00:41:36,061 --> 00:41:37,794 Fine. 982 00:41:37,796 --> 00:41:39,796 - So when are you quitting? - Next month. 983 00:41:39,798 --> 00:41:42,565 Well, definitely by the end of Summer. 984 00:41:42,567 --> 00:41:44,601 And what will you do? 985 00:41:46,004 --> 00:41:48,972 I don't know, probably the same thing somewhere else. 986 00:41:48,974 --> 00:41:51,508 Really, I don't know what I want. 987 00:41:51,510 --> 00:41:55,245 I just-- I know that I want more of it. 988 00:41:55,247 --> 00:41:57,514 You know what I mean? 989 00:41:57,516 --> 00:41:58,781 No. 990 00:41:58,783 --> 00:42:00,049 [scoffs] 991 00:42:00,051 --> 00:42:02,785 Like, well, what do you want? 992 00:42:02,787 --> 00:42:06,022 What are your, your big plans? 993 00:42:06,024 --> 00:42:08,558 When I was a kid, all I wanted to do 994 00:42:08,560 --> 00:42:11,561 was make people laugh, 995 00:42:11,563 --> 00:42:14,030 and have sex with pretty girls. 996 00:42:14,032 --> 00:42:16,099 [scoffs] No. 997 00:42:16,101 --> 00:42:17,700 I don't buy it. 998 00:42:17,702 --> 00:42:19,536 Well, if you don't believe me, 999 00:42:19,538 --> 00:42:21,137 then ask him for yourself. 1000 00:42:22,607 --> 00:42:25,775 So wait, you had sex with us? 1001 00:42:26,912 --> 00:42:28,745 Whoa, that's awesome. 1002 00:42:28,747 --> 00:42:30,246 Can I ask you something? 1003 00:42:30,248 --> 00:42:32,849 What do you want to be when you grow up? 1004 00:42:33,718 --> 00:42:35,151 I don't know. 1005 00:42:35,153 --> 00:42:37,787 I think I just want to make people laugh. 1006 00:42:37,789 --> 00:42:39,289 See. 1007 00:42:39,291 --> 00:42:41,925 So I can get on television and movies, 1008 00:42:41,927 --> 00:42:44,160 and be famous. We're famous, right? 1009 00:42:45,564 --> 00:42:47,030 Fine. 1010 00:42:47,032 --> 00:42:50,567 I want to be rich and famous. 1011 00:42:50,569 --> 00:42:52,735 So what. 1012 00:42:52,737 --> 00:42:54,070 What did you want to do then? 1013 00:42:54,072 --> 00:42:56,239 What I wanted was to be married 1014 00:42:56,241 --> 00:42:58,942 to be married to Leonardo DiCaprio. 1015 00:42:58,944 --> 00:43:01,611 Not in bed with a guy 1016 00:43:01,613 --> 00:43:03,580 that looks like a giant Muppet. 1017 00:43:03,582 --> 00:43:05,949 - Want some chips? - [scoffs] 1018 00:43:05,951 --> 00:43:09,319 I'm sorry, I used to be very critical of people. 1019 00:43:09,321 --> 00:43:11,754 And where did you get those chips? Are those mine? 1020 00:43:11,756 --> 00:43:13,957 - Whose place is this? - Mine. 1021 00:43:13,959 --> 00:43:17,727 Whoa, we must make a lot of money. 1022 00:43:17,729 --> 00:43:19,829 I'm doin' okay. 1023 00:43:19,831 --> 00:43:21,631 I'm the head of marketing-- 1024 00:43:21,633 --> 00:43:22,865 So we're the boss of people? 1025 00:43:22,867 --> 00:43:24,334 Do we yell at them? 1026 00:43:24,336 --> 00:43:25,868 Yeah. Sometimes, 1027 00:43:25,870 --> 00:43:28,004 when I forget to drink my coffee. 1028 00:43:28,006 --> 00:43:29,806 That's so cool! 1029 00:43:29,808 --> 00:43:32,208 I can't wait to be in my 20's. 1030 00:43:36,381 --> 00:43:37,880 Something wrong? 1031 00:43:42,621 --> 00:43:45,188 Don't be too nice, too soon. 1032 00:43:45,924 --> 00:43:47,357 I hate that. 1033 00:43:49,995 --> 00:43:51,694 And no pussy gripping this time. 1034 00:43:51,696 --> 00:43:53,963 - Really choke me. - [chuckles] 1035 00:43:55,800 --> 00:43:58,267 [both moaning] 1036 00:44:09,414 --> 00:44:10,780 [moaning stops] 1037 00:44:10,782 --> 00:44:12,281 [exasperated breathing] 1038 00:44:12,283 --> 00:44:13,783 [Ben] Oh, God. 1039 00:44:14,853 --> 00:44:16,386 That was good. 1040 00:44:17,656 --> 00:44:19,155 A few more times, and uh, 1041 00:44:19,157 --> 00:44:21,691 I think you'll really have the hang of it. 1042 00:44:21,693 --> 00:44:23,192 Shut up. 1043 00:44:23,194 --> 00:44:25,061 [sighs] What do you want to do now? 1044 00:44:25,063 --> 00:44:26,863 You want to, uh, go to the gym? 1045 00:44:26,865 --> 00:44:29,232 Watch each other do squats for a couple hours, or...? 1046 00:44:29,234 --> 00:44:30,800 [both laugh] 1047 00:44:30,802 --> 00:44:32,235 I don't know. Um... 1048 00:44:32,237 --> 00:44:35,271 how about we smoke some pot? 1049 00:44:35,273 --> 00:44:36,806 You have some, right? 1050 00:44:36,808 --> 00:44:39,242 Now, why do you assume that I have pot? 1051 00:44:39,244 --> 00:44:42,011 I don't know, I thought all white guys smoked pot. 1052 00:44:43,848 --> 00:44:46,749 I might have a little. But why do you want to? 1053 00:44:46,751 --> 00:44:49,752 Mmm... I want to try it again. 1054 00:44:49,754 --> 00:44:51,988 I mean, I never really did it in high school, 1055 00:44:51,990 --> 00:44:54,157 because I was a big nerd, and I thought 1056 00:44:54,159 --> 00:44:55,992 if I took one hit, it would ruin my chances 1057 00:44:55,994 --> 00:44:57,460 of getting a scholarship. 1058 00:44:57,462 --> 00:45:00,229 And that I smoked once in college, 1059 00:45:00,231 --> 00:45:01,998 but I didn't really feel it, 1060 00:45:02,000 --> 00:45:04,701 and now I'm goin' to law school, 1061 00:45:04,703 --> 00:45:06,703 and I just feel like I just need to see 1062 00:45:06,705 --> 00:45:09,238 - what it's all about, you know? - Yeah. 1063 00:45:09,240 --> 00:45:11,140 So I just picked this up from the dispensary. 1064 00:45:11,142 --> 00:45:13,409 It's pretty strong, so just have a little bit. 1065 00:45:13,411 --> 00:45:15,378 - Okay. - And if you start to feel 1066 00:45:15,380 --> 00:45:16,879 like freaked out or paranoid, 1067 00:45:16,881 --> 00:45:18,081 it's just the weed, you're fine. 1068 00:45:18,083 --> 00:45:19,348 You're totally fine. 1069 00:45:19,350 --> 00:45:20,783 Okay. 1070 00:45:20,785 --> 00:45:22,051 I'm having a tough time 1071 00:45:22,053 --> 00:45:24,053 not smiling, is that normal? 1072 00:45:25,123 --> 00:45:26,789 I knew this kid when I was little, 1073 00:45:26,791 --> 00:45:28,458 he could never stop smiling. 1074 00:45:28,460 --> 00:45:30,359 Even when his mom was yelling at him, 1075 00:45:30,361 --> 00:45:33,229 [laughs] I saw him, I saw him cry once, 1076 00:45:33,231 --> 00:45:35,798 and he was still kind of smiling. 1077 00:45:35,800 --> 00:45:38,868 [laughs] 1078 00:45:39,938 --> 00:45:41,838 Manuel Hernandez. 1079 00:45:41,840 --> 00:45:44,307 Oh, man. 1080 00:45:44,309 --> 00:45:45,842 His mom and my mom worked together, 1081 00:45:45,844 --> 00:45:48,778 so I spent a lot of nights at his house 1082 00:45:48,780 --> 00:45:51,114 when my mom worked late, 1083 00:45:51,116 --> 00:45:54,884 and he was like 200 pounds when he was seven. 1084 00:45:54,886 --> 00:45:57,854 So all his mom kept in the house was not new-- 1085 00:45:59,224 --> 00:46:03,192 Uh... Oh, we played this game where he'd lie on top of me, 1086 00:46:03,194 --> 00:46:07,230 and I'd yell out things like, "Help! You're squishing me!" 1087 00:46:07,232 --> 00:46:09,398 Or, "I'm being crushed!" 1088 00:46:09,400 --> 00:46:11,033 [laughs] 1089 00:46:11,803 --> 00:46:13,803 Oh, I loved it. 1090 00:46:14,906 --> 00:46:17,540 Oh, my God. 1091 00:46:17,542 --> 00:46:20,042 I bet that's why I have this re-occurring dream 1092 00:46:20,044 --> 00:46:22,545 where I'm making love to a Sumo wrestler. 1093 00:46:22,547 --> 00:46:26,883 Ben, do you have any sexual fetishes? 1094 00:46:26,885 --> 00:46:28,317 What? 1095 00:46:28,319 --> 00:46:31,087 Uh, sorry. Do you hear that? 1096 00:46:32,157 --> 00:46:33,790 No. 1097 00:46:33,792 --> 00:46:35,291 [vocalizes] 1098 00:46:35,293 --> 00:46:38,094 - Can I ask you a question? - Yeah. 1099 00:46:38,096 --> 00:46:41,063 Um, in the movie, earlier, 1100 00:46:41,065 --> 00:46:43,833 when Annie tells Albee that that's what her grandmother 1101 00:46:43,835 --> 00:46:45,334 would call a real Jew? 1102 00:46:45,336 --> 00:46:47,403 - What? - What did she mean? 1103 00:46:47,405 --> 00:46:50,006 It's like exemplifying all the stereotypes of a Jew. 1104 00:46:50,008 --> 00:46:52,208 Which are...? 1105 00:46:53,511 --> 00:46:56,179 I'm sorry, I don't really know what Jewish is. 1106 00:46:56,181 --> 00:46:59,015 I mean, I know it's a religion, 1107 00:46:59,017 --> 00:47:02,051 but like I went to a high school that was 40% Hispanic 1108 00:47:02,053 --> 00:47:03,853 and 60% Asian, so I don't really-- 1109 00:47:03,855 --> 00:47:06,589 You still must have some, you know, sense of-- 1110 00:47:06,591 --> 00:47:09,292 Well, what do you know about Peruvian culture? 1111 00:47:09,294 --> 00:47:10,927 Well, that's different, 'cause Peruvians 1112 00:47:10,929 --> 00:47:12,895 aren't as prominent in mainstream culture. 1113 00:47:12,897 --> 00:47:15,131 - Mainstream? - Look, I'm sorry. I've been hypocritical. 1114 00:47:15,133 --> 00:47:18,267 Okay, Jewish stereotypes-- people think that we are, uh... 1115 00:47:18,269 --> 00:47:20,536 uh, greedy, that we're un-athletic, 1116 00:47:20,538 --> 00:47:22,605 that we have big noses, we're all doctors 1117 00:47:22,607 --> 00:47:25,141 and lawyers and accountants, and that we run Hollywood 1118 00:47:25,143 --> 00:47:26,576 and the media. 1119 00:47:27,846 --> 00:47:29,579 Wow, that's a lot of stereotypes. 1120 00:47:29,581 --> 00:47:31,981 Yeah, well, you know, genocides don't fuel themselves. 1121 00:47:31,983 --> 00:47:33,416 [both laugh] 1122 00:47:34,586 --> 00:47:37,553 - I've never met anyone like you. - Yeah, clearly. 1123 00:47:37,555 --> 00:47:41,190 But honestly, I'm a walking cliché. You just don't know 1124 00:47:41,192 --> 00:47:43,526 all the stuff I'm ripping off. Thank God. 1125 00:47:43,528 --> 00:47:45,528 [scoffs] You shouldn't be so self-deprecating. 1126 00:47:45,530 --> 00:47:47,997 I don't like it. 1127 00:47:47,999 --> 00:47:50,099 Tell me more about this squishing fetish. 1128 00:47:50,101 --> 00:47:51,467 - Squish. - I'm squishing! 1129 00:47:51,469 --> 00:47:54,403 - Come on, come on. Ohh... - I'm squishing! 1130 00:47:56,174 --> 00:47:58,207 [phone vibrates] 1131 00:47:58,209 --> 00:47:59,942 Who is blowin' up your phone? 1132 00:47:59,944 --> 00:48:01,444 Brunch plans. 1133 00:48:01,446 --> 00:48:03,246 My friend Stephanie decided that she wanted 1134 00:48:03,248 --> 00:48:06,115 to go vegan and so it created this whole ordeal. 1135 00:48:06,117 --> 00:48:08,084 [Lawrence] What are you doin'? 1136 00:48:08,086 --> 00:48:10,419 I'm posting this BuzzFeed article 1137 00:48:10,421 --> 00:48:13,089 about John Haam's facial patterns to James' wall. 1138 00:48:13,091 --> 00:48:15,958 - Uh-uh. Uh-uh. - It's just, he's really obsessed with him-- 1139 00:48:15,960 --> 00:48:17,593 - No! - No. 1140 00:48:17,595 --> 00:48:19,095 - Fine! - Stop it. 1141 00:48:19,097 --> 00:48:21,464 Fine! [groans] 1142 00:48:21,466 --> 00:48:22,899 Stop. 1143 00:48:22,901 --> 00:48:25,101 I just miss talking to him. 1144 00:48:25,103 --> 00:48:27,670 I know, boo boo. 1145 00:48:27,672 --> 00:48:30,406 I did sign up for Tinder though. 1146 00:48:31,276 --> 00:48:33,342 - Yes! - [Rachel] What? 1147 00:48:33,344 --> 00:48:35,011 - Yeah. See. - [Lawrence] Let me see. 1148 00:48:35,013 --> 00:48:38,147 - Wait. What? - [Lawrence] Yes. 1149 00:48:38,149 --> 00:48:40,616 Ooh. Your boobs look good in these. 1150 00:48:40,618 --> 00:48:43,552 - [Lawrence laughs] - Yeah, I've been messaging this guy Otis. 1151 00:48:43,554 --> 00:48:45,354 I don't think I'm ready to meet up, 1152 00:48:45,356 --> 00:48:48,925 but I really do like this constant validation thing. 1153 00:48:48,927 --> 00:48:51,594 - [Rachel] He's hot! - [Mel] Mmm. 1154 00:48:51,596 --> 00:48:53,696 Oh, my God, and he has such a cute dog. 1155 00:48:53,698 --> 00:48:55,331 You have to meet up with him. 1156 00:48:55,333 --> 00:48:58,067 I'm just-- I'm-- I'm not ready for that. 1157 00:48:58,069 --> 00:49:00,403 You know, just-- 1158 00:49:00,405 --> 00:49:01,570 I can't. 1159 00:49:01,572 --> 00:49:03,706 Pity parties block blessings. 1160 00:49:03,708 --> 00:49:05,608 [scoffs] 1161 00:49:05,610 --> 00:49:07,076 Oh, my God. 1162 00:49:07,078 --> 00:49:08,577 That just reminds me, I have to meet up 1163 00:49:08,579 --> 00:49:10,646 - with Dustin in about an hour. - Seriously? 1164 00:49:10,648 --> 00:49:13,182 Well, do you wanna join? 1165 00:49:14,185 --> 00:49:16,652 I'm all set. Thanks! 1166 00:49:16,654 --> 00:49:18,087 [sighs] 1167 00:49:18,089 --> 00:49:19,221 Do you mind if I just... 1168 00:49:19,223 --> 00:49:20,623 - sleep here? - No. 1169 00:49:20,625 --> 00:49:22,425 You can make yourself at home. 1170 00:49:22,427 --> 00:49:25,494 Thanks. I think I just need some rest. 1171 00:49:26,998 --> 00:49:29,165 [piano music playing] 1172 00:49:40,011 --> 00:49:41,544 [phone vibrates] 1173 00:49:49,754 --> 00:49:51,187 [sniffs] 1174 00:49:55,426 --> 00:49:57,693 I'm really glad we did this. 1175 00:49:57,695 --> 00:49:59,228 Yeah. Uh. 1176 00:49:59,230 --> 00:50:01,297 Well, you promised me dumplings, so... 1177 00:50:01,299 --> 00:50:03,099 - [laughs] - [glasses clink] 1178 00:50:03,101 --> 00:50:04,567 So you were saying that 1179 00:50:04,569 --> 00:50:08,004 you just got out of a long relationship? 1180 00:50:08,006 --> 00:50:09,739 Yeah, a few months ago. 1181 00:50:09,741 --> 00:50:12,174 Dated for a little over five years. 1182 00:50:12,176 --> 00:50:13,542 Wow, why'd you break up? 1183 00:50:13,544 --> 00:50:15,444 Wow, I'm-- I'm sorry. 1184 00:50:15,446 --> 00:50:18,514 - I know that was just way too-- - No. No, no, no. It's okay. 1185 00:50:18,516 --> 00:50:21,217 In fact, uh, let me get her. 1186 00:50:23,054 --> 00:50:25,388 This is Ella. 1187 00:50:26,024 --> 00:50:28,024 - Hi. - Hi. 1188 00:50:29,127 --> 00:50:32,461 Uh, so why didn't you two work out? 1189 00:50:32,463 --> 00:50:34,330 Oh, it was nothing major really. 1190 00:50:34,332 --> 00:50:37,366 Our interests just kind of shifted part over the years, 1191 00:50:37,368 --> 00:50:40,036 and eventually, it was our 5th anniversary, 1192 00:50:40,038 --> 00:50:43,305 and I began to wonder if I could really do another five. 1193 00:50:43,307 --> 00:50:44,807 And that I fucked his brother. 1194 00:50:44,809 --> 00:50:47,777 I would argue what mostly the brother thing. 1195 00:50:48,446 --> 00:50:50,046 I like your dress. 1196 00:50:50,048 --> 00:50:51,714 Thanks. You look really pretty. 1197 00:50:51,716 --> 00:50:54,183 Really? 'Cause when I first saw you, 1198 00:50:54,185 --> 00:50:56,552 - I was just like-- - Okay! 1199 00:50:56,554 --> 00:50:58,287 [Otis laughs] 1200 00:51:00,491 --> 00:51:02,591 Can I ask you a question, Melissa? 1201 00:51:02,593 --> 00:51:04,794 Uh, yeah. 1202 00:51:08,066 --> 00:51:09,632 Are you happy? 1203 00:51:10,368 --> 00:51:12,201 Yeah, if I don't think 1204 00:51:12,203 --> 00:51:14,170 about my life or where I am too much, 1205 00:51:14,172 --> 00:51:15,571 I'm pretty happy. 1206 00:51:15,573 --> 00:51:17,139 - That's good. - How about you? 1207 00:51:17,141 --> 00:51:18,407 It's good to be happy. 1208 00:51:18,409 --> 00:51:19,809 [mumbles] 1209 00:51:19,811 --> 00:51:21,377 Uh-- Okay. 1210 00:51:21,379 --> 00:51:24,080 Maybe not on the first date. 1211 00:51:24,082 --> 00:51:25,347 Maybe. 1212 00:51:25,349 --> 00:51:27,083 I like you a lot, Melissa. 1213 00:51:27,085 --> 00:51:30,453 - A lot. - And I had a good time too. 1214 00:51:30,455 --> 00:51:31,854 I just-- 1215 00:51:32,790 --> 00:51:34,857 Okay, s-- I just-- Please stop. 1216 00:51:34,859 --> 00:51:36,859 Okay. Okay. 1217 00:51:38,096 --> 00:51:39,829 Just, uh... 1218 00:51:39,831 --> 00:51:42,131 gettin' a lot of mixed signals. 1219 00:51:42,133 --> 00:51:46,135 I'm sorry, I didn't mean to give you mixed signals. 1220 00:51:46,137 --> 00:51:50,506 Um, I just got out of a long relationship too. 1221 00:51:50,508 --> 00:51:53,109 It's really-- It's complicated. 1222 00:51:53,111 --> 00:51:54,543 We're working it out. 1223 00:51:54,545 --> 00:51:57,746 So don't you want to have a little fun now? 1224 00:51:57,748 --> 00:52:03,119 [chuckles] I do. And I was having fun. 1225 00:52:03,688 --> 00:52:05,521 Just a little... 1226 00:52:06,124 --> 00:52:07,756 Ah! Oh! 1227 00:52:07,758 --> 00:52:09,825 - Fuck! - Are you okay? 1228 00:52:09,827 --> 00:52:11,827 - Ah... - Oh! 1229 00:52:11,829 --> 00:52:13,696 - [groans] - Oh! 1230 00:52:14,899 --> 00:52:17,133 It's fine. It's fine. 1231 00:52:17,135 --> 00:52:19,201 We're going out again, right? 1232 00:52:21,139 --> 00:52:22,738 [keys jingling] 1233 00:52:27,879 --> 00:52:29,345 Hello? 1234 00:52:30,715 --> 00:52:32,648 James? 1235 00:52:33,851 --> 00:52:36,152 I'm home... 1236 00:52:38,656 --> 00:52:40,289 Home. 1237 00:52:50,835 --> 00:52:52,434 Mel? 1238 00:52:53,404 --> 00:52:55,171 Mel, what are you doing here? 1239 00:52:56,174 --> 00:52:58,374 You, uh... 1240 00:52:59,477 --> 00:53:01,844 got rid of some stuff. [chuckles] 1241 00:53:01,846 --> 00:53:04,180 There's a butterfly. 1242 00:53:04,182 --> 00:53:05,648 Is everything all right? 1243 00:53:08,886 --> 00:53:10,953 I wanna end the break. [laughs] 1244 00:53:10,955 --> 00:53:14,190 - Mel, you're drunk. - No, stop it! 1245 00:53:14,192 --> 00:53:16,525 - Mel-- - Listen. 1246 00:53:16,527 --> 00:53:18,527 - Listening? - Mm-hmm. 1247 00:53:18,529 --> 00:53:20,663 Okay. Are you awake? [slapping his face] 1248 00:53:20,665 --> 00:53:22,698 Yeah, I'm awake. 1249 00:53:25,203 --> 00:53:26,368 Yeah. 1250 00:53:27,238 --> 00:53:29,471 - I was scared. - Mm-hmm. 1251 00:53:29,473 --> 00:53:31,974 - But now I'm not. - Okay. 1252 00:53:31,976 --> 00:53:34,210 And I'm ready to love you, 1253 00:53:34,212 --> 00:53:35,844 if you'll just love me. 1254 00:53:35,846 --> 00:53:37,213 No, listen, I have-- 1255 00:53:37,215 --> 00:53:38,647 Is everything-- 1256 00:53:39,684 --> 00:53:41,450 [sighs] 1257 00:53:41,452 --> 00:53:42,785 Oh. 1258 00:53:43,988 --> 00:53:46,922 - Hi, I'm Jess. - I know who you are, Jess... 1259 00:53:46,924 --> 00:53:48,457 Wiggins. 1260 00:53:49,594 --> 00:53:51,827 I really like your comedy videos. 1261 00:53:51,829 --> 00:53:56,465 - I always watch them when-- - Well, don't. They're private. 1262 00:53:56,467 --> 00:53:58,000 What is wrong with you? 1263 00:53:58,002 --> 00:54:00,336 It hasn't even been a week. 1264 00:54:01,305 --> 00:54:03,005 What are you talkin' about, Mel? 1265 00:54:03,007 --> 00:54:04,974 We're on a break, all right. 1266 00:54:04,976 --> 00:54:06,508 That was your choice. 1267 00:54:06,510 --> 00:54:08,677 The only one you've ever made. 1268 00:54:09,247 --> 00:54:10,446 [scoffs] 1269 00:54:10,448 --> 00:54:12,548 What does that mean? 1270 00:54:12,550 --> 00:54:14,383 We moved in together 1271 00:54:14,385 --> 00:54:17,453 because I thought it'd be a good idea. 1272 00:54:18,389 --> 00:54:20,322 We chose this place 1273 00:54:20,324 --> 00:54:23,759 because you couldn't pick between the K-Town one 1274 00:54:23,761 --> 00:54:25,027 and this one, 1275 00:54:25,029 --> 00:54:27,930 and you made me pick. 1276 00:54:27,932 --> 00:54:32,334 Every night, I tripped up in out dark bedroom 1277 00:54:32,336 --> 00:54:35,671 because you couldn't decide on a fucking lamp. 1278 00:54:36,841 --> 00:54:39,275 You've gotten plenty of job opportunities 1279 00:54:39,277 --> 00:54:43,979 - that you've turned down-- - I like driving for Swyft. 1280 00:54:43,981 --> 00:54:46,048 Okay? It allows my schedule 1281 00:54:46,050 --> 00:54:47,816 - to be flexible. - Flexible. 1282 00:54:47,818 --> 00:54:49,918 Yeah, yeah. Flexible to do what? 1283 00:54:49,920 --> 00:54:52,288 Sit on the couch and get stoned? 1284 00:54:52,290 --> 00:54:54,857 Because I know you haven't gone to one audition 1285 00:54:54,859 --> 00:54:56,992 even though you're dying to be an actress. 1286 00:54:56,994 --> 00:54:59,762 I have an improv group. 1287 00:54:59,764 --> 00:55:01,297 Ah, Mel. 1288 00:55:01,299 --> 00:55:02,631 You only like improv 1289 00:55:02,633 --> 00:55:04,333 because it requires zero preparation, 1290 00:55:04,335 --> 00:55:06,835 and you can make that shit up as you go along. 1291 00:55:07,872 --> 00:55:10,572 [sighs] Oh, God. 1292 00:55:13,944 --> 00:55:15,344 Oh, Mel. 1293 00:55:15,346 --> 00:55:16,979 I don't want to lose you. 1294 00:55:19,850 --> 00:55:21,717 Not wanting to lose me 1295 00:55:21,719 --> 00:55:25,087 is not the same thing as wanting to be with me. 1296 00:55:31,662 --> 00:55:32,895 Fine. 1297 00:55:34,899 --> 00:55:36,999 [music playing] 1298 00:56:02,093 --> 00:56:03,859 [Mel] James and I went 1299 00:56:03,861 --> 00:56:06,729 to private school together on the east coast. 1300 00:56:06,731 --> 00:56:08,731 But we weren't really very close. 1301 00:56:08,733 --> 00:56:11,133 And after graduation, we went to different schools, 1302 00:56:11,135 --> 00:56:13,736 and I never really heard from him. 1303 00:56:13,738 --> 00:56:16,372 He was one of those guys that I Facebook stalked 1304 00:56:16,374 --> 00:56:17,506 a little bit. 1305 00:56:17,508 --> 00:56:18,941 And it was harmless. 1306 00:56:18,943 --> 00:56:20,642 And then a few months ago, 1307 00:56:20,644 --> 00:56:24,046 I moved to L.A. 'with my boyfriend Carl. 1308 00:56:24,048 --> 00:56:26,949 We took our photo by Santa Monica Beach, 1309 00:56:26,951 --> 00:56:30,018 and we captioned it, "Just moved." 1310 00:56:30,020 --> 00:56:32,888 And we got a message from James. 1311 00:56:33,891 --> 00:56:36,892 He said he wanted to catch up. 1312 00:56:38,129 --> 00:56:41,397 And I ignored it for a little bit. 1313 00:56:41,399 --> 00:56:43,399 I don't know why. 1314 00:56:45,403 --> 00:56:47,803 Maybe I knew what would happen. 1315 00:56:52,777 --> 00:56:55,411 From the moment that we met up, 1316 00:56:55,413 --> 00:56:58,414 we just had this chemistry. 1317 00:57:00,418 --> 00:57:03,585 And God, all my anxiety 1318 00:57:03,587 --> 00:57:05,053 and my nerves about the move, 1319 00:57:05,055 --> 00:57:07,489 and about Carl and about my job situation 1320 00:57:07,491 --> 00:57:10,125 just melted away and I felt 1321 00:57:10,127 --> 00:57:13,061 like I was back in high school again. 1322 00:57:15,733 --> 00:57:20,469 But, that didn't last very long 1323 00:57:20,471 --> 00:57:23,505 because now I am lying to Carl, 1324 00:57:23,507 --> 00:57:26,675 I can't sleep, I can't eat. 1325 00:57:26,677 --> 00:57:28,444 I feel fine. Seriously. 1326 00:57:28,446 --> 00:57:31,079 When I think about it, it was a long time a comin'. 1327 00:57:31,081 --> 00:57:32,781 I'm just grateful it happened now 1328 00:57:32,783 --> 00:57:35,451 as opposed to 20 years down the line. 1329 00:57:35,453 --> 00:57:37,052 James is an asshole. 1330 00:57:37,054 --> 00:57:39,721 You need to take that sex tape and post it on Twitter 1331 00:57:39,723 --> 00:57:42,958 so everyone can see his tiny dick. 1332 00:57:42,960 --> 00:57:45,494 It's hardly a sex tape. It's more like a GIF. 1333 00:57:45,496 --> 00:57:47,229 I'm not angry at James. 1334 00:57:47,231 --> 00:57:50,466 Know what, I feel, for the first time in a long time, 1335 00:57:50,468 --> 00:57:53,202 I feel... unburdened. 1336 00:57:53,204 --> 00:57:55,971 Okay, you're clearly having some kind of psychotic rage. 1337 00:57:55,973 --> 00:57:57,539 No. Hi. 1338 00:57:57,541 --> 00:58:00,175 - [waiter] Hi. - Mmm. You have lovely eyes. 1339 00:58:00,177 --> 00:58:02,478 - Thank you. - You're welcome. 1340 00:58:02,480 --> 00:58:04,913 - What's your name? - Uh, Marco. 1341 00:58:04,915 --> 00:58:06,849 Oh, wow. 1342 00:58:06,851 --> 00:58:08,484 That's a great name. 1343 00:58:08,486 --> 00:58:09,985 - Thank you. Thank you. - [Marco] Enjoy. 1344 00:58:09,987 --> 00:58:12,154 - All right, thank you. - [Mel] Hmm. 1345 00:58:12,156 --> 00:58:14,490 Yeah, you've been talkin' to this guy for a year now, 1346 00:58:14,492 --> 00:58:16,725 - and I'm the psychotic one? - I know. 1347 00:58:18,496 --> 00:58:20,128 What's worst case scenario? 1348 00:58:20,130 --> 00:58:23,031 He's not what you hyped him up to be, and her rejects you? 1349 00:58:23,033 --> 00:58:25,801 No, worst case scenario is exactly what I've imagined, 1350 00:58:25,803 --> 00:58:30,506 and we fall in love and it still doesn't make me happy. 1351 00:58:30,508 --> 00:58:33,075 Hey, I just wanna come by and wish you a good show. 1352 00:58:33,077 --> 00:58:34,743 Uh, this is Spike, by the way. 1353 00:58:34,745 --> 00:58:35,978 I'm not sure if you two have met. 1354 00:58:35,980 --> 00:58:37,579 Hi. Yeah, we met a while ago. 1355 00:58:37,581 --> 00:58:39,648 - As Gordo's party. - I don't think so. 1356 00:58:39,650 --> 00:58:42,551 - Okay. - But hey, you know, have a good show. 1357 00:58:42,553 --> 00:58:45,187 The whole team is excited to see what you got. 1358 00:58:45,189 --> 00:58:49,625 Well, I hope I can show you what I got if you know what I'm sayin'. 1359 00:58:50,628 --> 00:58:52,728 Right. Funny. 1360 00:58:52,730 --> 00:58:54,196 Thanks. 1361 00:58:54,198 --> 00:58:56,164 Okay then. 1362 00:58:56,166 --> 00:58:58,133 Good luck. Okay. 1363 00:59:00,070 --> 00:59:01,803 So there's a guy at every improv show 1364 00:59:01,805 --> 00:59:03,672 that laughs way too hard at everything 1365 00:59:03,674 --> 00:59:05,307 just to prove that he like gets it. 1366 00:59:05,309 --> 00:59:07,209 And I'm betting on that guy. 1367 00:59:07,211 --> 00:59:09,011 [Gabriela] I'm excited. 1368 00:59:09,013 --> 00:59:10,779 I've never been to an improv show before. 1369 00:59:10,781 --> 00:59:13,048 Is it like Wild and Out with Nick Cannon? 1370 00:59:13,050 --> 00:59:15,117 It's exactly like Wild and Out with Nick Cannon. 1371 00:59:15,119 --> 00:59:16,652 I think he's actually gonna be here tonight. 1372 00:59:16,654 --> 00:59:18,320 - Really? - No. 1373 00:59:19,890 --> 00:59:21,023 Mmm. 1374 00:59:21,025 --> 00:59:22,291 Hey there. 1375 00:59:22,293 --> 00:59:23,692 Hi. 1376 00:59:23,694 --> 00:59:25,027 Hi. Um, I'm Rachel. 1377 00:59:25,029 --> 00:59:27,763 - Oh, Gabriela. - Nice to meet you. 1378 00:59:27,765 --> 00:59:30,766 How's, uh-- How's Mel doin'? 1379 00:59:31,335 --> 00:59:33,335 She's doin' fine. 1380 00:59:33,337 --> 00:59:34,803 [dry chuckle] 1381 00:59:34,805 --> 00:59:38,173 So, um, uh, Gabby, what do you do? 1382 00:59:38,175 --> 00:59:40,275 Uh, Gabriela. And I work the mall. 1383 00:59:40,277 --> 00:59:41,910 Oh! I got my first hand-job at the mall. 1384 00:59:41,912 --> 00:59:44,012 Oh, me too! Well, a movie theater at the mall, 1385 00:59:44,014 --> 00:59:46,815 but who didn't get turned on during Ratatouille. 1386 00:59:46,817 --> 00:59:48,917 [laughs] I like you. 1387 00:59:48,919 --> 00:59:51,620 Well, I'm sorry, ma'am, but it looks like 1388 00:59:51,622 --> 00:59:53,789 our only recourse is to send you 1389 00:59:53,791 --> 00:59:56,625 on a one-way trip to Africa. 1390 00:59:56,627 --> 01:00:00,996 [laughs] Oh, man. 1391 01:00:00,998 --> 01:00:03,365 I flew Dinosaur Airlines. 1392 01:00:03,367 --> 01:00:04,933 [laughs] 1393 01:00:04,935 --> 01:00:08,103 Hello, and welcome to Dinosaur Airlines. 1394 01:00:08,105 --> 01:00:11,840 This is your pilot, uh, Captain Velociraptor speaking. 1395 01:00:11,842 --> 01:00:14,242 [makes high-pitched squawk sound] 1396 01:00:14,244 --> 01:00:17,279 And this is our beautiful stewardess. 1397 01:00:17,915 --> 01:00:20,282 Hi. I'm... 1398 01:00:20,284 --> 01:00:21,984 [dramatic music playing] 1399 01:00:43,407 --> 01:00:44,906 [small grunt] 1400 01:00:44,908 --> 01:00:47,009 [laughter] 1401 01:00:51,815 --> 01:00:54,683 I can't believe I'm in Pizza Hat. 1402 01:00:54,685 --> 01:00:56,251 You blew us away. 1403 01:00:56,253 --> 01:01:00,188 I mean, that crying bit was hilariously pathetic. 1404 01:01:00,190 --> 01:01:03,925 I don't-- I don't give compliments either, you know, so... 1405 01:01:03,927 --> 01:01:07,262 clear your Mondays, Tuesdays, Thursdays for rehearsal, 1406 01:01:07,264 --> 01:01:08,997 and then go ahead and clear your Friday, 1407 01:01:08,999 --> 01:01:11,433 Saturday for performance, and we're good to go. 1408 01:01:11,435 --> 01:01:13,402 Oh. Great. 1409 01:01:13,404 --> 01:01:14,803 Great. 1410 01:01:14,805 --> 01:01:18,106 Hey, Mel. Great show, I think. 1411 01:01:18,108 --> 01:01:20,375 - [Mel chuckles] - Uh, uh, this is Gabriela. 1412 01:01:20,377 --> 01:01:22,144 - Hi, Gabriela! - Hi. Hey. 1413 01:01:22,146 --> 01:01:23,845 - Thank you so much for coming. - Yes. 1414 01:01:23,847 --> 01:01:25,814 - It's nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you too. 1415 01:01:25,816 --> 01:01:28,450 - You're a really pretty crier. - Thank you! 1416 01:01:28,452 --> 01:01:30,118 Hey. Dustin. 1417 01:01:30,120 --> 01:01:31,920 The masturbating octopus himself. 1418 01:01:31,922 --> 01:01:33,789 It's an honor. Uh, Ben. 1419 01:01:33,791 --> 01:01:35,290 [clears throat] 1420 01:01:35,292 --> 01:01:38,393 [Mel] 30 people RSVP'd yes to this. 1421 01:01:38,395 --> 01:01:41,363 Well, it like never really happened. 1422 01:01:41,365 --> 01:01:43,932 Can we head out soon? Maybe we'll watch 1423 01:01:43,934 --> 01:01:47,102 one of your serial killer episodes or something. 1424 01:01:47,104 --> 01:01:49,271 Spike and the rest of the team are heading 1425 01:01:49,273 --> 01:01:51,273 to The Thirsty Crawl. Let's just grab one drink 1426 01:01:51,275 --> 01:01:53,041 and then we can go home. 1427 01:01:54,712 --> 01:01:56,344 [chattering] 1428 01:01:57,715 --> 01:01:59,347 I'm tired. 1429 01:01:59,349 --> 01:02:01,316 I-- I don't wanna-- 1430 01:02:01,318 --> 01:02:02,918 Richard? 1431 01:02:03,854 --> 01:02:06,221 Uh, Rachel. Hey there. 1432 01:02:07,725 --> 01:02:09,124 What are you doing here? 1433 01:02:09,126 --> 01:02:12,327 Uh, my daughter told me about this place. 1434 01:02:13,097 --> 01:02:15,497 Improv comedy. [laughs] 1435 01:02:15,499 --> 01:02:17,499 Very cool. 1436 01:02:20,204 --> 01:02:22,504 [upbeat music playing] 1437 01:02:36,887 --> 01:02:38,253 There you are... 1438 01:02:38,255 --> 01:02:39,755 - Hey. - Hey. 1439 01:02:39,757 --> 01:02:41,790 You said this was a small get together. 1440 01:02:41,792 --> 01:02:43,992 Okay, there's barely like a dozen people here. 1441 01:02:43,994 --> 01:02:45,327 Yeah, but that's like a dozen people 1442 01:02:45,329 --> 01:02:47,129 I got to figure out a greeting with. 1443 01:02:47,131 --> 01:02:49,197 Handshakes? Is it high-five all around? I don't know. 1444 01:02:49,199 --> 01:02:51,333 Honey, don't be so nervous. They're gonna love you. 1445 01:02:51,335 --> 01:02:53,135 They already think I'm your tax attorney. 1446 01:02:53,137 --> 01:02:55,470 - What? No, they don't. - No, well, I have a stack 1447 01:02:55,472 --> 01:02:57,205 of your Uncle Hector's W2's that beg to differ. 1448 01:02:57,207 --> 01:02:59,508 Shut up. You suck. I don't have an Uncle Hector. 1449 01:02:59,510 --> 01:03:01,376 Come on. Come on. 1450 01:03:02,946 --> 01:03:04,546 [Gabriela] This is my mom that you met earlier. 1451 01:03:04,548 --> 01:03:06,782 And my tia Rosa. And my tio Raul. 1452 01:03:06,784 --> 01:03:09,484 And my cousin Bruna. And that is Carmen. 1453 01:03:09,486 --> 01:03:11,086 And Shane. And Soliel. 1454 01:03:11,088 --> 01:03:14,389 - And my cousin Chris. - Hi, Chris. 1455 01:03:14,391 --> 01:03:15,791 Nice to meet you guys. 1456 01:03:15,793 --> 01:03:17,025 Where'd you meet Gabriela? 1457 01:03:17,027 --> 01:03:19,394 We met on, uh, on Tinder, actually. 1458 01:03:19,396 --> 01:03:20,529 - Oh! - Yes. 1459 01:03:20,531 --> 01:03:23,031 - Okay. Good for you. - Yeah. 1460 01:03:23,033 --> 01:03:25,267 [reciting prayer in Spanish] 1461 01:03:30,541 --> 01:03:32,908 - [mother] Amen. - [all] Amen. 1462 01:03:35,012 --> 01:03:37,179 Okay. Let's eat. 1463 01:03:37,948 --> 01:03:39,247 Just eat. It's good. 1464 01:03:39,249 --> 01:03:40,448 - It is? - Yeah. 1465 01:03:40,450 --> 01:03:42,317 - What? It's a heart? - Yeah. 1466 01:03:42,319 --> 01:03:44,419 All right. Thank you. Thanks. 1467 01:03:44,421 --> 01:03:46,288 [Ben] So what do you guys do for work? 1468 01:03:46,290 --> 01:03:48,890 You guys work in finance or something? 1469 01:03:49,827 --> 01:03:52,160 Hey, do you and Gabriela ever kiss? 1470 01:03:52,162 --> 01:03:54,830 Uh, yeah. We do sometimes. 1471 01:03:54,832 --> 01:03:57,465 Well, doesn't your nose get in the way? 1472 01:03:57,467 --> 01:04:00,035 - So what do you do? - Oh, I'm retired. 1473 01:04:00,037 --> 01:04:01,970 Uh, I've been retired since '98. 1474 01:04:01,972 --> 01:04:04,372 I was a tow truck driver for about 40 years. 1475 01:04:04,374 --> 01:04:06,007 Oh, wow. 1476 01:04:06,009 --> 01:04:07,976 In tow trucks, you guys are sort of like the, 1477 01:04:07,978 --> 01:04:10,979 you're sort of like the lifeguards of the road. 1478 01:04:10,981 --> 01:04:12,447 Except you have your shirts on. 1479 01:04:12,449 --> 01:04:14,082 - I mean, I think, I don't know. - [chuckles] 1480 01:04:14,084 --> 01:04:15,450 You know, who knows how you do it. 1481 01:04:15,452 --> 01:04:17,485 But, uh-- Oh. Thank you so much. 1482 01:04:17,487 --> 01:04:21,423 [singing in Spanish] 1483 01:04:36,406 --> 01:04:40,508 [mother] Oh, wait a minute. I have to take a picture. 1484 01:04:41,378 --> 01:04:43,478 - Picture, picture. - Oh. 1485 01:04:43,480 --> 01:04:45,080 - Sorry, uh... - [mother] Just a minute. 1486 01:04:45,082 --> 01:04:46,348 No, no, Ben. Stay in there. 1487 01:04:46,350 --> 01:04:47,582 - You sure? - Stay in there. Yeah. 1488 01:04:47,584 --> 01:04:49,284 - Ready? Smile! - [Ben] Okay... 1489 01:04:49,286 --> 01:04:51,052 - [Ben] Oops. Got 'em. - Wait. Yeah, come here. 1490 01:04:51,054 --> 01:04:53,521 - Okay. - [mother] Smile, everybody. 1491 01:04:54,291 --> 01:04:56,157 [both speaking Spanish] 1492 01:04:57,661 --> 01:05:00,095 - Gabriela? - Hey, one sec. 1493 01:05:00,097 --> 01:05:03,131 - [speaks Spanish] - I think I'm gonna head out. 1494 01:05:03,133 --> 01:05:04,900 - What? - I'm just feeling really wiped, 1495 01:05:04,902 --> 01:05:08,003 um, and I-- I totally forgot I have this article 1496 01:05:08,005 --> 01:05:10,005 that I have to send in to, uh, the site tomorrow. 1497 01:05:10,007 --> 01:05:12,908 Oh, okay. Well, I-I-- I'll walk you to your car. 1498 01:05:12,910 --> 01:05:14,276 You sure? I don't want to, you know, 1499 01:05:14,278 --> 01:05:15,310 take away the birthday girl. 1500 01:05:15,312 --> 01:05:16,411 No, that's fine. 1501 01:05:16,413 --> 01:05:18,513 - Um, I'll be right back. - Okay. 1502 01:05:20,250 --> 01:05:21,983 You didn't have to come. 1503 01:05:21,985 --> 01:05:24,653 No, I wanted to come. Really, I had a good time. 1504 01:05:24,655 --> 01:05:26,221 I'm just-- I'm just tired. 1505 01:05:26,223 --> 01:05:28,990 Okay. I just-- I thought you were sleep 1506 01:05:28,992 --> 01:05:30,258 at my place for once. 1507 01:05:30,260 --> 01:05:32,193 Oh, I'm just-- I'm wiped, babe. 1508 01:05:32,195 --> 01:05:34,329 I-I, uh-- It seemed like the party was going to go on 1509 01:05:34,331 --> 01:05:36,598 for a little while longer. Uh, I'll stay over soon. 1510 01:05:36,600 --> 01:05:39,000 Okay. When? 1511 01:05:39,002 --> 01:05:41,136 Uh, I don't know. Uh, I'll text you. 1512 01:05:41,138 --> 01:05:42,604 We can figure it out. 1513 01:05:42,606 --> 01:05:44,306 You know I hate when you do that. 1514 01:05:44,308 --> 01:05:46,942 - When I do what? - "We'll figure it out." 1515 01:05:46,944 --> 01:05:49,411 What's wrong with that? Why can't we just figure it out? 1516 01:05:49,413 --> 01:05:53,081 Because when you say that, it makes me feel like you don't want to see me at all. 1517 01:05:53,083 --> 01:05:55,951 No, I just don't always like to make definitive plans. 1518 01:05:55,953 --> 01:05:57,953 Why can't we just be casual? 1519 01:05:57,955 --> 01:06:00,555 Casual? I don't-- What-- 1520 01:06:00,557 --> 01:06:02,991 I'm not someone who just sleeps around with whoever. 1521 01:06:02,993 --> 01:06:04,726 I know. I'm just-- 1522 01:06:04,728 --> 01:06:07,629 Do you really think that we're that compatible? 1523 01:06:07,631 --> 01:06:10,131 You said you liked our differences. 1524 01:06:10,133 --> 01:06:12,000 I do. We're just very different. 1525 01:06:12,002 --> 01:06:13,702 I mean, I'm going home next month for Yom Kippur. 1526 01:06:13,704 --> 01:06:15,403 You probably don't even know what that is. 1527 01:06:15,405 --> 01:06:17,706 Yes, I do. It's the little hats you wear. 1528 01:06:17,708 --> 01:06:20,442 We just have different lives. We have different references. 1529 01:06:20,444 --> 01:06:22,043 And that's fine, you know. It's not-- 1530 01:06:22,045 --> 01:06:24,646 I'm sorry. I don't know all the movies you love. 1531 01:06:24,648 --> 01:06:26,648 I'm sorry that I work at the mall 1532 01:06:26,650 --> 01:06:29,217 and not some hip branded content, whatever. 1533 01:06:29,219 --> 01:06:31,586 I'm sorry my parents couldn't co-sign on a lease. 1534 01:06:31,588 --> 01:06:33,121 Gabriela, that is not what this is about. 1535 01:06:33,123 --> 01:06:35,690 Then what is it about, Ben? Tell me. 1536 01:06:37,327 --> 01:06:39,728 In like a month, you're going to get into law school. 1537 01:06:39,730 --> 01:06:42,263 And we're gonna act like it's fine, 1538 01:06:42,265 --> 01:06:44,199 and try to play it cool, but eventually, 1539 01:06:44,201 --> 01:06:46,735 you're gonna meet somebody, or get back with your ex, 1540 01:06:46,737 --> 01:06:49,471 and I'm just gonna be some story about some funny Jewish guy 1541 01:06:49,473 --> 01:06:52,374 you dated once, and that's fine. 1542 01:06:52,376 --> 01:06:54,642 You're probably too nice for me, anyway. 1543 01:06:54,644 --> 01:06:56,678 But, I don't know, why waste our time 1544 01:06:56,680 --> 01:06:58,446 gettin' to the inevitable? 1545 01:07:00,751 --> 01:07:02,684 Gabriela, listen, I-- 1546 01:07:02,686 --> 01:07:05,153 No, I know you think that just because you're so self-aware, 1547 01:07:05,155 --> 01:07:07,022 it makes what you say less mean, 1548 01:07:07,024 --> 01:07:08,757 but it doesn't. 1549 01:07:15,599 --> 01:07:17,232 It's been a rough few months, 1550 01:07:17,234 --> 01:07:19,734 but I think I'm finally over James. 1551 01:07:19,736 --> 01:07:22,804 No longer constantly re-reading her text messages, 1552 01:07:22,806 --> 01:07:24,172 looking for clues 1553 01:07:24,174 --> 01:07:26,608 to when he stopped loving me. 1554 01:07:27,744 --> 01:07:30,145 I'm not incessantly looking at photos 1555 01:07:30,147 --> 01:07:32,047 of him and his new girlfriend. 1556 01:07:32,049 --> 01:07:34,149 And in general, I'm just not holding onto any anger. 1557 01:07:34,151 --> 01:07:39,287 I'm-- I'm doing my art, I'm meeting up with friends, 1558 01:07:39,289 --> 01:07:41,423 I'm exercising. 1559 01:07:41,425 --> 01:07:44,692 [sighs] Really, I'm doing well. 1560 01:07:44,694 --> 01:07:47,095 [Rock music playing] 1561 01:07:53,703 --> 01:07:57,072 ♪ Here it comes again ♪ 1562 01:07:57,074 --> 01:07:59,474 - Um, excuse me. Miss? - [Mel] Yes? 1563 01:07:59,476 --> 01:08:01,643 I just saw a taco stand back there. 1564 01:08:01,645 --> 01:08:04,813 Um, I'm gonna need you to head back, please. 1565 01:08:04,815 --> 01:08:06,481 Yeah, I need a burrito. 1566 01:08:06,483 --> 01:08:09,184 ♪ See how he's tryin' ♪ 1567 01:08:10,353 --> 01:08:11,786 [Mel] Yeah? You been drinking? 1568 01:08:11,788 --> 01:08:14,522 No. Not a ton. Just like... 1569 01:08:14,524 --> 01:08:17,292 I was at this networking thing, and like... 1570 01:08:17,294 --> 01:08:19,360 I don't know, there's like... 1571 01:08:19,362 --> 01:08:22,764 You know, when you go out, and you don't expect to see 1572 01:08:22,766 --> 01:08:25,266 this dude that you've been seeing, but he's there anyway, 1573 01:08:25,268 --> 01:08:26,835 and he told you he wasn't gonna be there. 1574 01:08:26,837 --> 01:08:28,203 It's like fine now. 1575 01:08:28,205 --> 01:08:31,139 ♪ Watching when it move ♪ 1576 01:08:32,242 --> 01:08:33,875 ♪ He's a funny man who ♪ 1577 01:08:33,877 --> 01:08:35,743 [man] You said you were gonna be here in ten minutes. 1578 01:08:35,745 --> 01:08:37,345 - Well, that's the app. - You came in like 15 minutes. 1579 01:08:37,347 --> 01:08:38,880 - That's not me. - No, no, no. 1580 01:08:38,882 --> 01:08:40,715 You were like staying in one spot the whole time. 1581 01:08:40,717 --> 01:08:42,350 What were you-- What were you doing 1582 01:08:42,352 --> 01:08:43,718 for those like extra five minutes 1583 01:08:43,720 --> 01:08:45,320 just sitting there? 1584 01:08:47,891 --> 01:08:52,627 ♪ When all the good time are around ♪ 1585 01:08:54,731 --> 01:08:56,464 ♪ Go ahead and laugh ♪ 1586 01:08:58,168 --> 01:09:01,402 Thanks for waiting. I need to get-- 1587 01:09:01,404 --> 01:09:02,904 Hey, do I know you? 1588 01:09:02,906 --> 01:09:05,306 - I don't think so. - I'm good with faces. 1589 01:09:05,308 --> 01:09:07,242 I think you were my driver a few months ago. 1590 01:09:07,244 --> 01:09:08,810 I get a lot of passengers. 1591 01:09:08,812 --> 01:09:10,345 The artist, right? 1592 01:09:10,347 --> 01:09:11,613 It's L.A. There are a lot of artists. 1593 01:09:11,615 --> 01:09:14,716 - Melissa? - Yeah. 1594 01:09:14,718 --> 01:09:16,518 Where are you going? 1595 01:09:16,520 --> 01:09:18,586 Why don't you clock out and let me take you out somewhere. 1596 01:09:18,588 --> 01:09:20,421 I don't like bars. Too noisy. 1597 01:09:20,423 --> 01:09:22,457 Why don't we go somewhere quiet? We can talk. 1598 01:09:22,459 --> 01:09:24,292 I don't feel much like talking. 1599 01:09:28,899 --> 01:09:30,732 The quiet sounds nice. 1600 01:09:30,734 --> 01:09:33,434 [Wanda Davis' "Where Did You Sleep Last Night" playing] 1601 01:09:34,337 --> 01:09:36,437 ♪ I would shiver ♪ 1602 01:09:36,439 --> 01:09:39,174 ♪ The whole night through ♪ 1603 01:09:39,176 --> 01:09:41,409 What happened? You were so brazen before? 1604 01:09:41,411 --> 01:09:43,411 I-I know, I'm just-- 1605 01:09:50,253 --> 01:09:51,553 You're shaking. 1606 01:09:51,555 --> 01:09:53,821 I-I-I don't-- I'm-- 1607 01:09:53,823 --> 01:09:55,890 [sighs] I just got out of 1608 01:09:55,892 --> 01:09:57,525 - a relationship. - It's all right, just relax. 1609 01:09:57,527 --> 01:10:00,361 Just relax. All right? 1610 01:10:00,730 --> 01:10:02,230 Okay. 1611 01:10:17,981 --> 01:10:22,417 ♪ My girl, my girl ♪ 1612 01:10:24,554 --> 01:10:27,488 ♪ You can't hide from me ♪ 1613 01:10:29,292 --> 01:10:35,296 ♪ Tell me where did you sleep last night ♪ 1614 01:10:36,866 --> 01:10:38,499 ♪ In the pines ♪ 1615 01:10:38,501 --> 01:10:42,904 - ♪ In the pines ♪ - [moaning] 1616 01:10:42,906 --> 01:10:47,709 ♪ Where the sun never shines ♪ 1617 01:10:47,711 --> 01:10:52,847 ♪ I would shiver the whole night through ♪ 1618 01:11:04,494 --> 01:11:09,831 I just realized that my ex was not good at that. 1619 01:11:10,867 --> 01:11:12,300 Okay. 1620 01:11:12,302 --> 01:11:14,335 Now you've made it. 1621 01:11:16,006 --> 01:11:19,540 Actually, I'm gonna go. 1622 01:11:21,011 --> 01:11:23,478 - What, are you kidding? - No. 1623 01:11:23,480 --> 01:11:26,681 But... this was a lot of fun. 1624 01:11:27,717 --> 01:11:29,951 And we should do it again sometime. 1625 01:11:29,953 --> 01:11:31,352 Wait. 1626 01:11:32,022 --> 01:11:33,621 [chuckles] Wait. 1627 01:11:33,623 --> 01:11:34,989 Hey, that's not fair! 1628 01:11:34,991 --> 01:11:37,358 [upbeat music playing] 1629 01:11:44,968 --> 01:11:47,402 [quietly crying] 1630 01:11:50,573 --> 01:11:53,374 [Wagner's "Flight of the Valkyries" playing over speakers] 1631 01:11:59,382 --> 01:12:01,015 [slow music playing] 1632 01:12:11,895 --> 01:12:13,094 [notification dings] 1633 01:12:18,468 --> 01:12:19,901 [notification dings] 1634 01:12:26,676 --> 01:12:28,443 - Say something Jewish. - What? 1635 01:12:28,445 --> 01:12:30,411 So act, talk like a Jewish person. 1636 01:12:30,413 --> 01:12:31,512 Oh, yeah, like a... 1637 01:12:31,514 --> 01:12:33,114 Oy. Oh, my back! [groans] 1638 01:12:33,116 --> 01:12:34,916 And-and like Hebrew stuff. 1639 01:12:34,918 --> 01:12:36,384 Oh. Oh, oh, yeah. 1640 01:12:36,386 --> 01:12:37,585 [stammers] 1641 01:12:37,587 --> 01:12:39,387 [speaking Hebrew] 1642 01:12:40,090 --> 01:12:41,122 Oh, my God... 1643 01:12:41,124 --> 01:12:42,757 [continues Hebrew] 1644 01:12:48,431 --> 01:12:50,064 [clears throat] 1645 01:12:53,036 --> 01:12:54,435 [coughs] 1646 01:12:56,806 --> 01:12:58,406 [coughs] 1647 01:13:00,410 --> 01:13:01,876 [sighs] 1648 01:13:03,413 --> 01:13:05,113 Um... 1649 01:13:05,115 --> 01:13:06,547 Can you pass me my phone? 1650 01:13:06,549 --> 01:13:08,049 - [Ben] Oh, yeah. - Thanks. 1651 01:13:11,121 --> 01:13:13,020 Who's, uh, who's this? 1652 01:13:13,022 --> 01:13:14,889 Oh, my boyfriend David. 1653 01:13:14,891 --> 01:13:16,624 Y-Your boyfriend? 1654 01:13:16,626 --> 01:13:19,026 I'm sorry, I-I don't understand. 1655 01:13:19,028 --> 01:13:21,662 Oh, um, he has problems getting hard. 1656 01:13:21,664 --> 01:13:24,932 He has since February, and, um, you know, I love him, 1657 01:13:24,934 --> 01:13:27,702 and want to make things work, so I just... 1658 01:13:27,704 --> 01:13:30,905 have certain urges to satisfy, you know. 1659 01:13:30,907 --> 01:13:32,874 So you just... 1660 01:13:32,876 --> 01:13:34,442 You just go on Tinder and-- 1661 01:13:34,444 --> 01:13:36,177 Well, does your boyfriend know? 1662 01:13:36,179 --> 01:13:37,712 [chuckles] Come on. 1663 01:13:37,714 --> 01:13:38,946 I'm sorry, I just don't understand 1664 01:13:38,948 --> 01:13:41,048 how you can be so cavalier 1665 01:13:41,050 --> 01:13:43,751 about betraying the person that you supposedly love. 1666 01:13:43,753 --> 01:13:46,521 Because I'm not betraying him. 1667 01:13:46,523 --> 01:13:47,889 I'm fighting for him. 1668 01:13:47,891 --> 01:13:49,590 I'm fighting for our relationship. 1669 01:13:49,592 --> 01:13:51,692 I love him, and yes, 1670 01:13:51,694 --> 01:13:53,528 we have a couple little incompatibilities, 1671 01:13:53,530 --> 01:13:55,663 but that's not important to me, 1672 01:13:55,665 --> 01:13:57,965 and I'm not just gonna run away from him 1673 01:13:57,967 --> 01:13:59,434 because things get hard. 1674 01:13:59,436 --> 01:14:01,135 Or soft. 1675 01:14:01,137 --> 01:14:02,603 Like his kiss. 1676 01:14:02,605 --> 01:14:04,138 I feel used. 1677 01:14:04,140 --> 01:14:06,607 Well, that's dating. 1678 01:14:14,984 --> 01:14:16,918 [taps on table] 1679 01:14:19,622 --> 01:14:21,155 You can sit on the couch, you know. 1680 01:14:21,157 --> 01:14:22,957 No, I'm-- I'm good here. 1681 01:14:25,929 --> 01:14:28,529 So what's, uh, what's goin' on? 1682 01:14:28,531 --> 01:14:29,997 How's, how's work? 1683 01:14:31,100 --> 01:14:33,100 [sighs] I'm just about to quit. 1684 01:14:33,102 --> 01:14:35,570 When we were dating, weren't you just about to quit? 1685 01:14:36,706 --> 01:14:38,506 How's Gabriela? 1686 01:14:39,542 --> 01:14:40,942 It's not really happening anymore. 1687 01:14:40,944 --> 01:14:42,543 Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. 1688 01:14:42,545 --> 01:14:43,644 [dry chuckle] 1689 01:14:43,646 --> 01:14:45,112 - What? - Nothing. 1690 01:14:45,114 --> 01:14:47,248 How's, uh, Desmond? 1691 01:14:47,250 --> 01:14:48,883 Dustin. 1692 01:14:48,885 --> 01:14:52,620 Yeah, well, that's over with too. 1693 01:14:52,622 --> 01:14:54,789 I guess we wanted different things. 1694 01:14:54,791 --> 01:14:57,258 Well, I never cared for him. 1695 01:14:57,260 --> 01:14:58,893 [dry chuckle] 1696 01:15:02,131 --> 01:15:03,731 You know, I'm glad that you're here. 1697 01:15:03,733 --> 01:15:06,167 - Really? - Yeah, it's nice to see you. 1698 01:15:06,169 --> 01:15:08,569 Nice? Nice, how? 1699 01:15:08,571 --> 01:15:09,904 What's, uh, what's so nice about it? 1700 01:15:09,906 --> 01:15:11,539 - Ben, come on. - No, seriously. 1701 01:15:11,541 --> 01:15:12,940 What's, what's good about it? 1702 01:15:12,942 --> 01:15:14,075 What's so nice--? What--? 1703 01:15:14,077 --> 01:15:15,710 Look, just because-- I-I-- 1704 01:15:15,712 --> 01:15:17,745 Can I just say that it's nice to see you, 1705 01:15:17,747 --> 01:15:20,248 - without you freaking out? - Because it's not nice to see you. 1706 01:15:20,250 --> 01:15:22,950 Not for me. It's very difficult. 1707 01:15:24,087 --> 01:15:26,854 All right, it's tough being here with you. 1708 01:15:26,856 --> 01:15:29,290 You think just because I want us to be friends 1709 01:15:29,292 --> 01:15:32,627 that somehow that means that you're-- 1710 01:15:32,629 --> 01:15:34,529 that you like me more than I like you? 1711 01:15:34,531 --> 01:15:36,297 Yeah, exactly, because if you cared about me 1712 01:15:36,299 --> 01:15:38,132 a fraction as much as I cared about you, 1713 01:15:38,134 --> 01:15:40,568 this would be just as hard for you. 1714 01:15:40,570 --> 01:15:42,570 No. No. 1715 01:15:42,572 --> 01:15:44,305 Because we were best friends 1716 01:15:44,307 --> 01:15:46,307 for four years. 1717 01:15:46,309 --> 01:15:48,743 And then, and then we break up 1718 01:15:48,745 --> 01:15:51,846 and, and you cut me out of your life. 1719 01:15:54,083 --> 01:15:56,617 What, do you think that I don't think about you? 1720 01:15:56,619 --> 01:15:58,953 That I don't wonder what you're doing 1721 01:15:58,955 --> 01:16:01,155 or just what you're up to? 1722 01:16:02,725 --> 01:16:04,759 I can't-- 1723 01:16:04,761 --> 01:16:07,929 I mean, don't you wonder what's going on in my life 1724 01:16:07,931 --> 01:16:09,230 and what I'm doing? 1725 01:16:09,232 --> 01:16:10,731 Of course I do. 1726 01:16:10,733 --> 01:16:12,066 Just because I want you in my life, 1727 01:16:12,068 --> 01:16:13,935 doesn't mean that this is any easier for me 1728 01:16:13,937 --> 01:16:15,603 than it is for you. 1729 01:16:16,205 --> 01:16:17,672 [sighs] 1730 01:16:21,711 --> 01:16:24,178 Sorry for freezing you out. 1731 01:16:26,015 --> 01:16:28,282 I was just too... 1732 01:16:29,319 --> 01:16:30,952 I know. 1733 01:16:34,657 --> 01:16:38,159 Fine. We can be Facebook friends. 1734 01:16:38,161 --> 01:16:40,027 But I'm not gonna follow you on Twitter. 1735 01:16:40,029 --> 01:16:42,363 [Greg Holden's "Nothing Else Matters" playing] 1736 01:16:45,969 --> 01:16:49,370 ♪ It's been a long summer ♪ 1737 01:16:49,372 --> 01:16:53,207 ♪ But the cool air is close ♪ 1738 01:16:53,209 --> 01:16:56,377 ♪ I lost a lover ♪ 1739 01:16:56,379 --> 01:16:59,780 ♪ And made friends with ghosts ♪ 1740 01:16:59,782 --> 01:17:03,784 ♪ But I'm out from the covers ♪ 1741 01:17:03,786 --> 01:17:06,387 ♪ Letting go ♪ 1742 01:17:06,389 --> 01:17:10,257 ♪ And I'm finding my way ♪ 1743 01:17:10,259 --> 01:17:13,227 ♪ And nothing else matters ♪ 1744 01:17:13,229 --> 01:17:17,231 ♪ I push through the pain ♪ 1745 01:17:17,233 --> 01:17:19,934 ♪ Nothing else matters ♪ 1746 01:17:19,936 --> 01:17:23,704 ♪ I'm doing okay ♪ 1747 01:17:23,706 --> 01:17:28,743 ♪ And nothing else matters to me ♪ 1748 01:17:30,413 --> 01:17:35,916 ♪ Nothing else matters to me ♪ 1749 01:17:40,156 --> 01:17:42,390 [Gabriela] Ben, what are you doing here? 1750 01:17:42,392 --> 01:17:44,425 Hey. Uh... 1751 01:17:44,427 --> 01:17:46,193 [dry chuckle] 1752 01:17:46,195 --> 01:17:48,829 I don't know. Uh, I-- I wanted to congratulate you 1753 01:17:48,831 --> 01:17:51,265 on-on getting into law school. 1754 01:17:51,267 --> 01:17:52,733 Thanks. 1755 01:17:52,735 --> 01:17:55,803 So you leave in a couple months? 1756 01:17:56,439 --> 01:17:58,339 Looks like it. 1757 01:17:58,341 --> 01:18:00,408 I'm excited. I've never been to New York before. 1758 01:18:00,410 --> 01:18:02,276 Oh, you're gonna love it. 1759 01:18:03,312 --> 01:18:05,680 And, uh, how have you been? 1760 01:18:05,682 --> 01:18:07,281 I've been-- I've been good. Good. 1761 01:18:07,283 --> 01:18:10,317 Uh, I just got a job as a writer's assistant 1762 01:18:10,319 --> 01:18:13,087 for this Nickelodeon show, 'cause my uncle went 1763 01:18:13,089 --> 01:18:14,989 to Hebrew school with the creator, so... 1764 01:18:14,991 --> 01:18:17,925 Right, because the Jews run show business. 1765 01:18:17,927 --> 01:18:20,361 If nothing else, I was glad I was able to pass on 1766 01:18:20,363 --> 01:18:22,363 a little bit of basic anti-Semitism to you. 1767 01:18:23,166 --> 01:18:24,465 Yeah. 1768 01:18:24,467 --> 01:18:25,966 Um... 1769 01:18:27,970 --> 01:18:30,104 See, Gabriela, I-I'm sorry 1770 01:18:30,106 --> 01:18:33,474 about how things ended between us. 1771 01:18:34,477 --> 01:18:36,377 You know, everything happened so fast, 1772 01:18:36,379 --> 01:18:38,045 it almost didn't seem real. 1773 01:18:38,047 --> 01:18:40,214 Does that make any sense? Like just one second, 1774 01:18:40,216 --> 01:18:42,049 you're this picture on my phone and the next second 1775 01:18:42,051 --> 01:18:45,319 I'm eating a cow's heart in your backyard and... 1776 01:18:45,321 --> 01:18:46,887 I panicked. 1777 01:18:46,889 --> 01:18:48,489 You know, I thought Tinder threw me 1778 01:18:48,491 --> 01:18:50,257 into this situation that I wasn't supposed to be in, 1779 01:18:50,259 --> 01:18:52,059 and I thought I could just swipe it away, 1780 01:18:52,061 --> 01:18:54,495 'cause it's easier to blame things on the phone, 1781 01:18:54,497 --> 01:18:58,132 you know, on these apps then to admit that... 1782 01:18:58,134 --> 01:19:00,935 You know, I was-- I was scared... 1783 01:19:01,738 --> 01:19:04,805 'cause, um... 1784 01:19:05,975 --> 01:19:08,943 I think you're an amazing person, Gabriela. 1785 01:19:10,012 --> 01:19:13,447 I'm really sorry, uh, and I hope 1786 01:19:13,449 --> 01:19:15,883 you can forgive me for not knowing 1787 01:19:15,885 --> 01:19:17,485 what was real in the moment. 1788 01:19:20,156 --> 01:19:21,455 Yeah. 1789 01:19:22,258 --> 01:19:23,524 I can forgive you. 1790 01:19:23,526 --> 01:19:25,226 Really? 1791 01:19:25,228 --> 01:19:27,995 Well, you made the whole dramatic speech. 1792 01:19:27,997 --> 01:19:29,330 [groans] Oh, goddamn it. 1793 01:19:29,332 --> 01:19:31,265 It was so much better in the car. 1794 01:19:32,935 --> 01:19:34,535 Quit it. Come on, do you want to come in? 1795 01:19:34,537 --> 01:19:36,470 - Yeah, that'd be great. - Okay. Okay. 1796 01:19:36,472 --> 01:19:37,538 I would love that. 1797 01:19:37,540 --> 01:19:39,840 - Thanks. - [Gabriela chuckles] 1798 01:19:52,255 --> 01:19:54,388 [slide viewer whirring] 1799 01:19:54,390 --> 01:19:57,258 [Mel] Is Dustin coming? 1800 01:19:57,260 --> 01:19:59,059 You know, it's fine. 1801 01:19:59,061 --> 01:20:01,796 I'm over it. And I just decided 1802 01:20:01,798 --> 01:20:04,131 that I am not going to date anyone 1803 01:20:04,133 --> 01:20:06,567 for at least three months because I did the math, 1804 01:20:06,569 --> 01:20:08,302 and the longest I've ever been single 1805 01:20:08,304 --> 01:20:09,870 was two and a half months. 1806 01:20:09,872 --> 01:20:11,505 That doesn't count. You had lime disease. 1807 01:20:11,507 --> 01:20:13,908 But I was single, as I am now. 1808 01:20:13,910 --> 01:20:16,577 And that's, that's all that matters. I feel good about it. 1809 01:20:16,579 --> 01:20:19,380 Well, I'm really happy for you, Rachel. 1810 01:20:19,382 --> 01:20:22,850 Yeah. I just feel like I need to focus on myself, 1811 01:20:22,852 --> 01:20:24,552 I'm quitting my job. 1812 01:20:24,554 --> 01:20:26,854 And dating just gets in the way of it all. 1813 01:20:26,856 --> 01:20:28,289 Richard? 1814 01:20:29,292 --> 01:20:30,491 Rachel... 1815 01:20:31,828 --> 01:20:33,561 When my wife left me, 1816 01:20:33,563 --> 01:20:36,564 I felt like I had lost the will to want 1817 01:20:36,566 --> 01:20:39,333 anything ever again. 1818 01:20:40,570 --> 01:20:42,903 And then I met you, 1819 01:20:42,905 --> 01:20:46,040 and the feelings I had scared me. 1820 01:20:46,042 --> 01:20:48,909 I had a daughter I had to look after, 1821 01:20:48,911 --> 01:20:50,511 and I didn't want to hurt you, 1822 01:20:50,513 --> 01:20:53,581 and that's why I stopped calling. 1823 01:20:53,583 --> 01:20:55,382 Oh, I actually stopped calling you. 1824 01:20:55,384 --> 01:20:57,084 Rachel, I've been asked to join 1825 01:20:57,086 --> 01:20:58,953 some of the top chiropractors in the world 1826 01:20:58,955 --> 01:21:01,555 at a conference in Barcelona. Come with me. 1827 01:21:01,557 --> 01:21:04,024 You want to take me to Barcelona? 1828 01:21:04,026 --> 01:21:05,593 Flight leaves in two hours. 1829 01:21:05,595 --> 01:21:07,261 Oh, my God. 1830 01:21:07,263 --> 01:21:08,529 Wow, this is happening so fast. 1831 01:21:08,531 --> 01:21:10,030 I-I need to pack. 1832 01:21:10,032 --> 01:21:11,966 We'll buy you new clothes when we get there. 1833 01:21:11,968 --> 01:21:13,133 Okay. 1834 01:21:13,135 --> 01:21:16,036 - Yes, yes, yes. - [Mel vocalizes] 1835 01:21:16,038 --> 01:21:17,872 - Oh, my God. - Come on, we got to go. 1836 01:21:17,874 --> 01:21:20,341 - Okay. - Rachel, are you sure you want to do this? 1837 01:21:20,343 --> 01:21:23,143 Oh, I have never been more sure about anything in my life. 1838 01:21:24,614 --> 01:21:26,080 Uh... 1839 01:21:26,082 --> 01:21:27,648 Uh, Melissa, right? 1840 01:21:27,650 --> 01:21:31,352 - What? Yeah. - I'm, uh, I'm Wes. 1841 01:21:31,354 --> 01:21:33,921 I'm the director of communications for Swyft corporate. 1842 01:21:33,923 --> 01:21:35,522 Look, I've been following your customer reviews. 1843 01:21:35,524 --> 01:21:37,124 You seem to really have a way with people. 1844 01:21:37,126 --> 01:21:38,659 Um, I'm sorry, I'm confused. 1845 01:21:38,661 --> 01:21:40,961 Are you-- Are you buying one of my zoetropes? 1846 01:21:40,963 --> 01:21:43,664 No. We're looking for someone to work in the office. 1847 01:21:43,666 --> 01:21:45,399 In customer service. 1848 01:21:45,401 --> 01:21:47,067 - Oh. - It's a 9-to-5. 1849 01:21:47,069 --> 01:21:49,937 But we have benefits, if you're interested. 1850 01:21:56,646 --> 01:21:58,112 Did I miss it? 1851 01:21:59,482 --> 01:22:02,249 [James] You keep this room cleaner than we did ours. 1852 01:22:03,920 --> 01:22:06,553 I was not that messy. 1853 01:22:06,555 --> 01:22:09,056 [laughs] Yeah, you were. 1854 01:22:11,661 --> 01:22:13,160 I just... 1855 01:22:13,162 --> 01:22:15,129 I can't believe you guys broke up. 1856 01:22:15,698 --> 01:22:17,264 You seemed so happy. 1857 01:22:17,266 --> 01:22:19,366 According to Facebook, you guys were, 1858 01:22:19,368 --> 01:22:22,569 you know, on the beach, kissing at sunset, 1859 01:22:22,571 --> 01:22:23,971 at least once a week. 1860 01:22:23,973 --> 01:22:25,706 [groans] How else do you expect 1861 01:22:25,708 --> 01:22:28,609 her old sorority sisters to know that she was happier than them? 1862 01:22:28,611 --> 01:22:31,278 - [chuckles] - So what happened? 1863 01:22:33,482 --> 01:22:35,249 Well, we just... 1864 01:22:37,186 --> 01:22:39,954 We realized we didn't have anything in common, really. 1865 01:22:39,956 --> 01:22:42,156 [scoffs] What are you talking about? 1866 01:22:42,158 --> 01:22:43,590 You guys grew up together. 1867 01:22:43,592 --> 01:22:47,094 Yeah, I mean, reminiscing about the past 1868 01:22:47,096 --> 01:22:49,663 was fun and all, and... 1869 01:22:49,665 --> 01:22:52,666 You know, she left her fiancé, and... 1870 01:22:52,668 --> 01:22:55,703 that was riveting for a little bit, 1871 01:22:55,705 --> 01:22:58,439 but then, you know, we realized 1872 01:22:58,441 --> 01:23:00,207 we didn't know each other at all. 1873 01:23:01,344 --> 01:23:04,478 You know, we had this idea of one another, 1874 01:23:04,480 --> 01:23:09,316 and this idea from back in high school, 1875 01:23:09,318 --> 01:23:11,251 but... 1876 01:23:11,253 --> 01:23:13,287 Yeah, it was, it was nothing. 1877 01:23:16,625 --> 01:23:19,259 - I'm sorry to hear that. - [kisses] 1878 01:23:23,432 --> 01:23:24,698 Don't be. 1879 01:23:31,040 --> 01:23:33,140 Okay, okay. 1880 01:23:33,142 --> 01:23:35,342 Calm down. [laughs] 1881 01:23:36,445 --> 01:23:38,278 And... 1882 01:23:38,280 --> 01:23:42,016 there's someone coming over in a few hours, and... 1883 01:23:42,018 --> 01:23:45,786 I need to do some work and get ready. 1884 01:23:47,323 --> 01:23:49,356 Yeah. Okay. 1885 01:23:50,126 --> 01:23:51,492 All right, I'm... 1886 01:23:51,494 --> 01:23:54,194 I'm really glad to see you, and... 1887 01:23:54,196 --> 01:23:57,364 I don't regret that this happened. 1888 01:23:57,800 --> 01:24:00,267 Yeah, well... 1889 01:24:01,404 --> 01:24:03,637 we'll probably regret it tomorrow, but... 1890 01:24:08,744 --> 01:24:10,744 - [chuckles] - But who knows? 1891 01:24:10,746 --> 01:24:12,579 Maybe later... 1892 01:24:13,315 --> 01:24:15,682 it won't even matter. 1893 01:24:15,684 --> 01:24:18,085 Hey, can I ask you a question? 1894 01:24:19,789 --> 01:24:22,489 Yeah. What's up? 1895 01:24:24,727 --> 01:24:26,627 Why did you propose? 1896 01:24:32,668 --> 01:24:34,268 I don't know. 1897 01:24:35,204 --> 01:24:37,171 I guess I just... 1898 01:24:38,507 --> 01:24:41,108 I wanted to make a decision about something. 1899 01:24:42,378 --> 01:24:45,212 I wanted something in my life to be definite. 1900 01:24:45,848 --> 01:24:47,681 [quietly] Okay. 1901 01:24:49,285 --> 01:24:51,852 - Melissa. - Wayne! 1902 01:24:54,824 --> 01:24:56,690 Yeah, I have the... 1903 01:24:56,692 --> 01:24:59,259 Oh, you have no idea how long I've been looking for this. 1904 01:24:59,261 --> 01:25:00,828 [chuckles] Cool. 1905 01:25:00,830 --> 01:25:01,862 Well, have... 1906 01:25:01,864 --> 01:25:04,164 Well, uh, thanks! 1907 01:25:04,834 --> 01:25:06,633 Yeah. 1908 01:25:06,635 --> 01:25:07,835 [grunts] 1909 01:25:30,826 --> 01:25:32,392 Fuck. 1910 01:25:33,162 --> 01:25:35,129 It's not the right one. 1911 01:25:36,365 --> 01:25:38,398 So there was no chiropractic convention 1912 01:25:38,400 --> 01:25:39,800 in Barcelona. 1913 01:25:39,802 --> 01:25:41,301 I got into Richards car, 1914 01:25:41,303 --> 01:25:43,337 had a glass of celebratory champagne 1915 01:25:43,339 --> 01:25:44,838 that he insisted on, 1916 01:25:44,840 --> 01:25:46,373 and then... 1917 01:25:46,375 --> 01:25:47,541 nothing. 1918 01:25:47,543 --> 01:25:50,777 On the night of September 22nd, 2016, 1919 01:25:50,779 --> 01:25:53,247 at approximately 7:23 p.m., 1920 01:25:53,249 --> 01:25:55,782 I pulled over a black Mercedes sedan 1921 01:25:55,784 --> 01:25:58,519 on the corner of Fountain and Normandie, 1922 01:25:58,521 --> 01:26:00,888 because I believed the driver to be texting 1923 01:26:00,890 --> 01:26:02,389 while driving. 1924 01:26:02,391 --> 01:26:05,192 The driver, one Richard Kaplan, 1925 01:26:05,194 --> 01:26:07,294 gives his license and registration, 1926 01:26:07,296 --> 01:26:09,196 and I was about to let him off with a warning, 1927 01:26:09,198 --> 01:26:11,732 when I noticed a persistent buzzing 1928 01:26:11,734 --> 01:26:13,834 coming from the trunk of the vehicle. 1929 01:26:13,836 --> 01:26:16,336 Upon opening the trunk, I discovered 1930 01:26:16,338 --> 01:26:17,938 Miss Strauss, unconscious. 1931 01:26:17,940 --> 01:26:20,741 The buzzing was coming from her phone in her pocket. 1932 01:26:20,743 --> 01:26:23,610 If it had not been for several women texting her 1933 01:26:23,612 --> 01:26:25,779 regarding brunch plans for the following day, 1934 01:26:25,781 --> 01:26:28,282 I'm afraid we never would've found Miss Strauss. 1935 01:26:28,284 --> 01:26:31,251 And we never would've apprehended Mr. Kaplan, 1936 01:26:31,253 --> 01:26:34,721 who you may know as the Tindernapper. 1937 01:26:34,723 --> 01:26:36,256 The Tindernapper. 1938 01:26:36,258 --> 01:26:37,758 That's what they came up with. 1939 01:26:37,760 --> 01:26:39,826 It was clever, but a little inaccurate, 1940 01:26:39,828 --> 01:26:43,263 since we met on an entirely different app. 1941 01:26:43,265 --> 01:26:45,199 But it was a good headline. 1942 01:26:45,201 --> 01:26:47,968 And for a while, I was kind of famous. 1943 01:26:47,970 --> 01:26:51,638 I wrote the most viewed editorial HuffPo history 1944 01:26:51,640 --> 01:26:53,407 about the experience. 1945 01:26:53,409 --> 01:26:55,209 I had to elaborate a little, 1946 01:26:55,211 --> 01:26:58,278 because essentially, I got into a car and took a nap, 1947 01:26:58,280 --> 01:27:00,914 but I sold the rights to my story to Hulu, 1948 01:27:00,916 --> 01:27:02,349 and with the money, 1949 01:27:02,351 --> 01:27:03,784 I finally quit my job 1950 01:27:03,786 --> 01:27:06,220 and bought a one-way ticket to Barcelona. 1951 01:27:06,956 --> 01:27:08,722 I just felt like I didn't need 1952 01:27:08,724 --> 01:27:11,925 to wait for a relationship to go. 1953 01:27:11,927 --> 01:27:13,794 I should just go. 1954 01:27:13,796 --> 01:27:15,229 So I went. 1955 01:27:15,231 --> 01:27:16,863 And it was amazing. 1956 01:27:16,865 --> 01:27:18,732 For four days. 1957 01:27:18,734 --> 01:27:20,400 Then I got lonely, 1958 01:27:20,402 --> 01:27:24,605 and I ended up signing up an online dating app 1959 01:27:24,607 --> 01:27:27,841 for Americans who were staying abroad. 1960 01:27:27,843 --> 01:27:29,743 - And I ma-- - We matched again. 1961 01:27:29,745 --> 01:27:31,345 [chuckles] Hi. Todd. 1962 01:27:31,347 --> 01:27:32,679 Um, yeah, I was just-- 1963 01:27:32,681 --> 01:27:34,581 I was randomly also in Barcelona. 1964 01:27:34,583 --> 01:27:37,584 I was actually there as the international judge 1965 01:27:37,586 --> 01:27:39,553 for a local tapas competition, 1966 01:27:39,555 --> 01:27:42,022 and, uh, I remember I had just taken a break 1967 01:27:42,024 --> 01:27:45,025 after having a particularly delicious croquette de pollo, 1968 01:27:45,027 --> 01:27:48,362 and I looked at my phone, and I saw the message from Rachel, and I-- 1969 01:27:48,364 --> 01:27:50,664 Why do you always have to mention the croquette de pollo 1970 01:27:50,666 --> 01:27:52,733 every time you tell the story? Why can't you just say, 1971 01:27:52,735 --> 01:27:56,770 "I judged a competition, and I saw Rachel on my phone"? 1972 01:27:56,772 --> 01:27:58,472 Oh, I'm-- 1973 01:27:58,474 --> 01:27:59,873 I'm s-- I'm so sorry, I didn't realize 1974 01:27:59,875 --> 01:28:01,675 you didn't like croquettes de pollo? 1975 01:28:01,677 --> 01:28:04,278 - I was-- - No. It's not that I don't like-- 1976 01:28:05,481 --> 01:28:07,014 No. I'm sorry. 1977 01:28:07,016 --> 01:28:09,683 I interrupted you. 1978 01:28:09,685 --> 01:28:11,285 Continue. 1979 01:28:12,621 --> 01:28:14,921 She's so patient with me. [laughs] 1980 01:28:14,923 --> 01:28:16,723 Things are great. I'm in New York, 1981 01:28:16,725 --> 01:28:19,026 but Ben visits a lot, and I obviously go home a lot, 1982 01:28:19,028 --> 01:28:20,861 so we see each other pretty often. 1983 01:28:20,863 --> 01:28:24,298 Yeah, with all the Skype'ing and texting, and, uh... 1984 01:28:24,300 --> 01:28:25,899 all that stuff, 1985 01:28:25,901 --> 01:28:27,868 honestly, it really hardly even feels 1986 01:28:27,870 --> 01:28:29,903 - like a long distance relationship. - Ah, yeah. 1987 01:28:29,905 --> 01:28:32,039 [female interviewer] Do you think you're in a relationship 1988 01:28:32,041 --> 01:28:34,941 because of online dating or in spite of it? 1989 01:28:36,312 --> 01:28:38,512 I think it's kind of a mix of the two. 1990 01:28:38,514 --> 01:28:41,381 Uh, I used to get embarrassed when people asked how we met. 1991 01:28:41,383 --> 01:28:43,717 I wanted a fun, romantic story, 1992 01:28:43,719 --> 01:28:45,752 and Tinder didn't feel fun or romantic, 1993 01:28:45,754 --> 01:28:47,921 but then I started thinking about the fact that 1994 01:28:47,923 --> 01:28:49,956 one night, a year and a half ago, 1995 01:28:49,958 --> 01:28:52,959 I signed up for Tinder at my friend Manuela's apartment, 1996 01:28:52,961 --> 01:28:54,728 swiped right on the photo of Ben, 1997 01:28:54,730 --> 01:28:57,064 who was 3.7 miles away at his apartment, 1998 01:28:57,066 --> 01:28:59,032 because I liked his smile, 1999 01:28:59,034 --> 01:29:02,002 and then I started thinking, what if Manuela had come to my house? 2000 01:29:02,004 --> 01:29:03,904 Or, what if I had gone to her place, 2001 01:29:03,906 --> 01:29:07,040 but didn't let her pressure me into downloading the app? 2002 01:29:07,042 --> 01:29:08,842 Or... 2003 01:29:08,844 --> 01:29:11,011 what if Ben had picked a different profile picture 2004 01:29:11,013 --> 01:29:13,447 where he wasn't smiling and I never noticed him in the first place? 2005 01:29:13,449 --> 01:29:16,116 Uh, I don't know, after I was thinking all these things, 2006 01:29:16,118 --> 01:29:19,786 suddenly, the story of how Ben and I met felt... 2007 01:29:20,789 --> 01:29:24,558 It's like fate with a GPS function. 2008 01:29:24,560 --> 01:29:26,093 - [laughs] - Yeah. Yeah. 2009 01:29:26,095 --> 01:29:27,894 Yeah, right? Something like that. 2010 01:29:27,896 --> 01:29:32,799 Bumble, Tinder, Grindr, Scruff, whatever. 2011 01:29:32,801 --> 01:29:34,534 I think they're great and all, 2012 01:29:34,536 --> 01:29:37,137 but me, I'd rather meet guys the old fashioned way. 2013 01:29:37,139 --> 01:29:39,740 Like Lawrence, for instance. 2014 01:29:39,742 --> 01:29:42,509 He was this cute boy who will just come in 2015 01:29:42,511 --> 01:29:44,111 to my restaurant, and one day, 2016 01:29:44,113 --> 01:29:46,079 I got the courage to ask him out. 2017 01:29:46,081 --> 01:29:48,115 I didn't need technology or anything. 2018 01:29:48,117 --> 01:29:51,017 And I think it's better that way. 2019 01:29:51,019 --> 01:29:52,986 Mmm. Mmm. 2020 01:29:52,988 --> 01:29:55,956 [interviewer] Lawrence, did you notice Marco 2021 01:29:55,958 --> 01:29:57,824 before he asked you out? 2022 01:29:57,826 --> 01:29:59,626 I mean... 2023 01:29:59,628 --> 01:30:02,162 [interviewer] Did you ever give online dating another chance? 2024 01:30:02,164 --> 01:30:04,664 Well, I deleted it, 2025 01:30:04,666 --> 01:30:07,434 and then I re-downloaded it, and then I deleted it again, 2026 01:30:07,436 --> 01:30:10,103 and then it's just kind of like been going like that for awhile. 2027 01:30:10,105 --> 01:30:12,072 I just felt like whenever, 2028 01:30:12,074 --> 01:30:14,441 you know, a guy liked me, I didn't really like him back, 2029 01:30:14,443 --> 01:30:19,146 and, uh, if I liked a guy, he wasn't really that into me. 2030 01:30:19,148 --> 01:30:21,882 [interviewer] Are you seeing anyone now? 2031 01:30:21,884 --> 01:30:23,417 Not really. 2032 01:30:24,420 --> 01:30:26,953 Uh, it's not that serious. 2033 01:30:26,955 --> 01:30:30,023 I, uh, yeah, we're, we're just, 2034 01:30:30,025 --> 01:30:33,693 we're havin' fun, you know, so... 2035 01:30:34,930 --> 01:30:37,531 Uh, being single's actually really... 2036 01:30:37,533 --> 01:30:39,866 Awful. Firstly, no one is getting laid 2037 01:30:39,868 --> 01:30:41,535 as much as they say they are. 2038 01:30:41,537 --> 01:30:42,803 [interviewer] But you were once so intrigued 2039 01:30:42,805 --> 01:30:44,204 by online dating, no? 2040 01:30:44,206 --> 01:30:46,873 Yeah, I was, but... 2041 01:30:46,875 --> 01:30:49,443 It's like when you're up late at night 2042 01:30:49,445 --> 01:30:51,211 and you want to watch a movie, so you start scrolling 2043 01:30:51,213 --> 01:30:54,481 through your Netflix, your HBO Go, 2044 01:30:54,483 --> 01:30:57,717 your Amazon Prime, and there's so many options, 2045 01:30:57,719 --> 01:31:00,654 that by the time you make a decision, 2046 01:31:00,656 --> 01:31:03,056 you're already too tired to enjoy it in the first place. 2047 01:31:03,058 --> 01:31:04,524 It's like... 2048 01:31:04,526 --> 01:31:06,193 I'll watch a movie for 20 minutes, 2049 01:31:06,195 --> 01:31:08,762 and then I'll stop it, and I'll watch another one 2050 01:31:08,764 --> 01:31:10,497 for another 20 minutes, and I'll do that 2051 01:31:10,499 --> 01:31:12,632 over and over and over again, because I figure, 2052 01:31:12,634 --> 01:31:15,869 what's the point of watching a movie that's just okay, 2053 01:31:15,871 --> 01:31:18,205 when out of all these options, 2054 01:31:18,207 --> 01:31:20,941 is my new favorite movie? 2055 01:31:22,044 --> 01:31:24,010 So basically, 2056 01:31:24,012 --> 01:31:26,580 all this just goes to shit because none of us 2057 01:31:26,582 --> 01:31:28,648 - are gonna be able to-- - [phone notification chimes] 2058 01:31:29,918 --> 01:31:31,184 Sorry. 2059 01:31:35,257 --> 01:31:38,124 Hey, I got a match. 2060 01:31:39,895 --> 01:31:44,631 ♪ I got the whole world ♪ 2061 01:31:44,633 --> 01:31:46,199 ♪ In my hands ♪ 2062 01:31:46,201 --> 01:31:48,535 ♪ I got the whole wide world ♪ 2063 01:31:48,537 --> 01:31:49,970 ♪ In my hands ♪ 2064 01:31:49,972 --> 01:31:53,273 ♪ I got the whole world in my hands ♪ 2065 01:31:53,275 --> 01:31:56,209 ♪ I got the whole world in my hands ♪ 2066 01:31:56,211 --> 01:32:00,514 ♪ I got all of my lovers in my hands ♪ 2067 01:32:00,516 --> 01:32:04,551 ♪ I got all of my lovers in my hands ♪ 2068 01:32:04,553 --> 01:32:07,954 ♪ I got all my lovers in my hands ♪ 2069 01:32:07,956 --> 01:32:11,224 ♪ I got the whole world in my hands ♪ 2070 01:32:11,226 --> 01:32:15,228 ♪ I got all of my exes in my hands ♪ 2071 01:32:15,230 --> 01:32:18,932 ♪ I got all of my exes in my hands ♪ 2072 01:32:18,934 --> 01:32:22,536 ♪ I got all my exes in my hands ♪ 2073 01:32:22,538 --> 01:32:26,072 ♪ I got the whole world in my hands ♪ 2074 01:32:26,074 --> 01:32:29,976 ♪ I got all of my friends in my hands ♪ 2075 01:32:29,978 --> 01:32:33,613 ♪ I got all of my friends in my hands ♪ 2076 01:32:33,615 --> 01:32:37,217 ♪ I got all my friends in my hands ♪ 2077 01:32:37,219 --> 01:32:40,987 ♪ I got the whole world in my hands ♪ 2078 01:32:40,989 --> 01:32:44,624 ♪ I got Tinder and Facebook in my hands ♪ 2079 01:32:44,626 --> 01:32:48,562 ♪ I got Instagram and Grindr in my hands ♪ 2080 01:32:48,564 --> 01:32:52,232 ♪ I got Snapchat and Twitter in my hands ♪ 2081 01:32:52,234 --> 01:32:56,636 ♪ I got the whole world in my hands ♪ 2082 01:33:55,330 --> 01:33:58,231 [female vocalist scatting] 2083 01:34:24,192 --> 01:34:28,228 ♪ I got the whole world in my hands ♪ 2084 01:34:28,230 --> 01:34:32,065 ♪ I got the whole wide world in my hands ♪ 2085 01:34:32,067 --> 01:34:35,902 ♪ I got the whole world in my hands ♪ 2086 01:34:35,904 --> 01:34:39,773 ♪ The whole world in my hands ♪ 2087 01:34:39,775 --> 01:34:42,676 ♪ The whole world in my hands ♪ 2088 01:34:42,678 --> 01:34:47,147 ♪ I got the whole world in my hands ♪