0
00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:15,000
Like, Share and Follow our Instagram @Layarkaca21indo.id for Support

1
00:00:13,073 --> 00:00:18,073
Like, Share and Follow our Instagram @Layarkaca21indo.id for Support

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00:00:18,075 --> 00:00:19,041
[man 1] Here we go.

3
00:00:19,043 --> 00:00:21,876
- One, two...
- [drumsticks clacking]

4
00:00:21,878 --> 00:00:24,645
- [man 2] You guys wanna story?
- [men cheering]

5
00:00:24,647 --> 00:00:25,881
Yeah, I got a story.
A fuckin' doozy.

6
00:00:25,883 --> 00:00:28,349
[man 3] Is this the one
where you say you own Facebook?

7
00:00:28,351 --> 00:00:29,351
[man 2] Starts like this.

8
00:00:29,353 --> 00:00:30,652
On the seventh day, God rested.

9
00:00:30,654 --> 00:00:32,454
- [man 4] I love God.
- [man 1] He's my favorite god.

10
00:00:32,456 --> 00:00:33,555
[man 2] Yeah, but he's God,
so he knew

11
00:00:33,557 --> 00:00:35,490
that if after six days of crazy
you gotta rest

12
00:00:35,492 --> 00:00:36,924
- on Sunday, right?
- [man] I'd rest every day.

13
00:00:36,926 --> 00:00:38,659
[man 2] But what about
those poor bastards

14
00:00:38,661 --> 00:00:40,429
going through six days of crazy,

15
00:00:40,431 --> 00:00:42,997
not knowing that the seventh
day is gonna be a day of rest,

16
00:00:42,999 --> 00:00:44,933
or just another day
at the shit store?

17
00:00:44,935 --> 00:00:46,835
Those are the poor bastards
we should toast.

18
00:00:46,837 --> 00:00:48,170
[all] To the shit store!

19
00:00:48,172 --> 00:00:50,439
[man 2] Who knows, maybe
a couple of angels come along

20
00:00:50,441 --> 00:00:52,374
and nudge him
in the right direction.

21
00:00:52,376 --> 00:00:53,641
But I'm getting ahead of myself.

22
00:00:53,643 --> 00:00:56,811
This is the story
of Frank and Nancy Teagarten.

23
00:00:56,813 --> 00:00:58,613
Their seven days started
on the morning

24
00:00:58,615 --> 00:01:00,651
they dropped their daughter
off to college.

25
00:01:02,953 --> 00:01:05,653
[Frank] Wow.

26
00:01:05,655 --> 00:01:07,923
Seems just like yesterday
I was pushing you on the swings

27
00:01:07,925 --> 00:01:09,590
in Gardner Park.

28
00:01:09,592 --> 00:01:11,025
[Nancy] Yeah.

29
00:01:11,027 --> 00:01:13,861
And now, look
at our college girl,

30
00:01:13,863 --> 00:01:16,732
on her way to becoming
a veterinarian.

31
00:01:16,734 --> 00:01:19,601
Now, baby.
We're just a phone call away,

32
00:01:19,603 --> 00:01:22,570
five-hour car ride away,
50-minute plane ride away.

33
00:01:22,572 --> 00:01:24,638
You know we're there for you,
anything you need.

34
00:01:24,640 --> 00:01:25,539
You have our numbers.

35
00:01:25,541 --> 00:01:28,610
Yes, I practically
have them memorized.

36
00:01:28,612 --> 00:01:29,611
- [Nancy] Good.
- But, don't call

37
00:01:29,613 --> 00:01:32,680
after 10:00 p.m.
'cause we'll probably be asleep.

38
00:01:32,682 --> 00:01:34,448
That was a joke.
You know that was a joke, right?

39
00:01:34,450 --> 00:01:37,119
[laughs]
I love your jokes, Daddy.

40
00:01:37,121 --> 00:01:39,787
- [Nancy] Do you like your bed?
- Yeah.

41
00:01:39,789 --> 00:01:41,822
We should have gotten her
a better mattress.

42
00:01:41,824 --> 00:01:42,891
How come we didn't think
of that?

43
00:01:42,893 --> 00:01:44,992
You know what this room needs,
is a Medeco lock.

44
00:01:44,994 --> 00:01:46,594
Medeco makes a very sturdy lock.

45
00:01:46,596 --> 00:01:47,661
- Yeah.
- And what's with this

46
00:01:47,663 --> 00:01:48,963
co-ed dorm?
Why are we doing that?

47
00:01:48,965 --> 00:01:50,798
She's in a co-ed dorm,
whose idea was that?

48
00:01:50,800 --> 00:01:52,501
That's wrong.

49
00:01:52,503 --> 00:01:54,438
I love you guys so much.

50
00:01:55,606 --> 00:01:56,741
Thank you.

51
00:01:58,875 --> 00:02:00,474
Thank you for everything.
[sobs]

52
00:02:00,476 --> 00:02:03,481
[somber music]

53
00:02:07,851 --> 00:02:09,419
[bell tolling]

54
00:02:35,579 --> 00:02:36,845
["REVOFEV" by Kid Cudi playing]

55
00:02:36,847 --> 00:02:37,849
[engine starts]

56
00:02:42,852 --> 00:02:45,619
♪ Let go, life does get tough ♪

57
00:02:45,621 --> 00:02:47,189
♪ No need to stress ♪

58
00:02:47,191 --> 00:02:49,857
♪ Hold you back too much ♪

59
00:02:49,859 --> 00:02:52,827
♪ Let's go I heard
They found a solution ♪

60
00:02:52,829 --> 00:02:56,598
♪ Where will you be
For the revolution? ♪

61
00:02:56,600 --> 00:02:59,834
♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa ♪

62
00:02:59,836 --> 00:03:03,505
♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa ♪

63
00:03:03,507 --> 00:03:07,809
♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa ♪

64
00:03:07,811 --> 00:03:09,480
♪ I say to kids ♪

65
00:03:10,781 --> 00:03:13,547
♪ Wake up
Things might get rough ♪

66
00:03:13,549 --> 00:03:17,819
♪ No need to stress
Keeps you down too much ♪

67
00:03:17,821 --> 00:03:20,721
♪ Wake up I heard
They found a solution ♪

68
00:03:20,723 --> 00:03:24,161
♪ Where will you be
For the revolution? ♪

69
00:03:27,731 --> 00:03:31,134
♪ Where will you be
For the revolution? ♪

70
00:03:34,937 --> 00:03:36,804
- It's gonna be okay.
- Which part?

71
00:03:36,806 --> 00:03:38,042
All of it. I promise.

72
00:03:40,143 --> 00:03:42,180
[winch whirring]

73
00:03:44,080 --> 00:03:45,079
Can I help you?

74
00:03:45,081 --> 00:03:47,749
- Sorry, guys. Gotta hook it up.
- [Nancy] Shit!

75
00:03:47,751 --> 00:03:48,950
What, now?

76
00:03:48,952 --> 00:03:50,017
Hey, man.

77
00:03:50,019 --> 00:03:51,553
I'm just doing my job,
all right?

78
00:03:51,555 --> 00:03:52,521
[Frank] We, uh...

79
00:03:52,523 --> 00:03:54,255
we just dropped our daughter
off at college,

80
00:03:54,257 --> 00:03:55,624
and we've been
really, really busy,

81
00:03:55,626 --> 00:03:57,691
and I'll send a payment
in a few days.

82
00:03:57,693 --> 00:04:00,128
[driver] Look, it's not me,
it's Volvo, okay?

83
00:04:00,130 --> 00:04:02,596
They don't fuck around
when it comes to a lease, okay?

84
00:04:02,598 --> 00:04:04,298
I just need a little more time.

85
00:04:04,300 --> 00:04:06,600
[Frank] There...
there is a backstory here.

86
00:04:06,602 --> 00:04:09,237
Always is, brother. Always is.

87
00:04:09,239 --> 00:04:10,905
Would you like to hear it?

88
00:04:10,907 --> 00:04:11,942
[driver sighs]

89
00:04:16,547 --> 00:04:18,112
All right, shoot.

90
00:04:18,114 --> 00:04:20,081
I started a medical company.

91
00:04:20,083 --> 00:04:23,117
Put everything we had into it,
making a medical innovation

92
00:04:23,119 --> 00:04:25,886
that's been adding years
to people's lives.

93
00:04:25,888 --> 00:04:28,256
We rolled the dice hard,
but we believed in it.

94
00:04:28,258 --> 00:04:29,658
Then there was a problem.

95
00:04:29,660 --> 00:04:31,893
Small, but enough
for some news stories.

96
00:04:31,895 --> 00:04:33,895
They started calling us
"controversial,"

97
00:04:33,897 --> 00:04:35,564
which is the toughest word
in our business,

98
00:04:35,566 --> 00:04:36,831
and it's been...

99
00:04:36,833 --> 00:04:38,732
bad dominoes ever since.

100
00:04:38,734 --> 00:04:40,802
Now, our daughter doesn't know
at all about this.

101
00:04:40,804 --> 00:04:43,304
We've been holding it together
until she went off to college,

102
00:04:43,306 --> 00:04:45,273
and now we're gonna
hold it together

103
00:04:45,275 --> 00:04:46,844
until we get back on our feet.

104
00:04:48,111 --> 00:04:49,643
What do you make?

105
00:04:49,645 --> 00:04:51,612
- What, salary?
- Product.

106
00:04:51,614 --> 00:04:54,949
Artificial heart valves designed
for transfemoral placement,

107
00:04:54,951 --> 00:04:56,251
- which means...
- Dual leg artery.

108
00:04:56,253 --> 00:04:57,751
I know.

109
00:04:57,753 --> 00:04:59,789
You know what I used to do
before this repo shit?

110
00:05:00,624 --> 00:05:01,657
- Paramedic.
- Oh?

111
00:05:01,659 --> 00:05:04,626
Yeah. People used to be glad
to see me show up.

112
00:05:04,628 --> 00:05:06,961
Yesterday, I had to take
three child seats

113
00:05:06,963 --> 00:05:08,730
out of the back of a Lexus,

114
00:05:08,732 --> 00:05:10,064
lay them out on their lawn,

115
00:05:10,066 --> 00:05:11,699
like I was setting up for some

116
00:05:11,701 --> 00:05:14,102
goddamn baby
Lollapalooza concert,

117
00:05:14,104 --> 00:05:15,737
The Wiggles or some shit.

118
00:05:15,739 --> 00:05:17,338
- Remember them?
- No.

119
00:05:17,340 --> 00:05:19,206
Fuckin' Yum Yum Fruit Salad.

120
00:05:19,208 --> 00:05:20,307
I got kids.

121
00:05:20,309 --> 00:05:21,311
It was sad.

122
00:05:23,914 --> 00:05:26,381
Shit. Okay, look.

123
00:05:26,383 --> 00:05:27,581
I'll tell 'em you weren't here.

124
00:05:27,583 --> 00:05:31,052
But the most I can get you
is days, not weeks. All right?

125
00:05:31,054 --> 00:05:32,821
So, if I were you,

126
00:05:32,823 --> 00:05:34,823
I'd find a way
to put some loot in my suit.

127
00:05:34,825 --> 00:05:37,124
Sell some crack,
or I'll be back!

128
00:05:37,126 --> 00:05:38,292
[laughs]

129
00:05:38,294 --> 00:05:40,330
[laughing awkwardly]

130
00:05:43,333 --> 00:05:45,570
- [Frank] Thank you.
- [Nancy] Thank you!

131
00:05:46,369 --> 00:05:47,968
Finally a break.

132
00:05:47,970 --> 00:05:50,975
[upbeat music]

133
00:05:56,313 --> 00:05:58,013
[Frank] What about the, uh,

134
00:05:58,015 --> 00:05:59,413
lamp in the den?

135
00:05:59,415 --> 00:06:01,182
It's broken.

136
00:06:01,184 --> 00:06:03,050
So, we sell it, uh,

137
00:06:03,052 --> 00:06:04,352
as is, or we fix it?

138
00:06:04,354 --> 00:06:07,122
We don't fix things, Frank,
we only ruin them...

139
00:06:07,124 --> 00:06:08,756
[Bert] Hi guys.

140
00:06:08,758 --> 00:06:10,992
- Having a yard sale?
- [Frank] Uh, no, Bert.

141
00:06:10,994 --> 00:06:13,828
Our living room
puked all over our yard.

142
00:06:13,830 --> 00:06:15,396
- What?
- Bye.

143
00:06:15,398 --> 00:06:16,698
[dog whines]

144
00:06:16,700 --> 00:06:17,766
[Nancy] Oh, look, Frank.

145
00:06:17,768 --> 00:06:21,770
A 2,000-dollar Breville Oracle
espresso machine.

146
00:06:21,772 --> 00:06:24,372
And we just had to have it.

147
00:06:24,374 --> 00:06:28,710
But, we never even took it out
of the damn box.

148
00:06:28,712 --> 00:06:30,944
Just be happy that the thing
is still in the box,

149
00:06:30,946 --> 00:06:33,814
it's worth 2,000 dollars,
one-eighth of that is,

150
00:06:33,816 --> 00:06:35,083
it's a... it's a car payment.

151
00:06:35,085 --> 00:06:37,018
Why did we get all this stuff?

152
00:06:37,020 --> 00:06:39,787
Stuff, stuff, stuff everywhere,

153
00:06:39,789 --> 00:06:43,158
and I can't even afford
to get my roots done

154
00:06:43,160 --> 00:06:44,893
or get a bikini wax.

155
00:06:44,895 --> 00:06:47,061
Hey, guys!
You're having a yard sale?

156
00:06:47,063 --> 00:06:48,730
[Nancy] Hi, Jason.

157
00:06:48,732 --> 00:06:50,999
No, Jason, our house got hit
by a tidal wave.

158
00:06:51,001 --> 00:06:52,066
Just ours.

159
00:06:52,068 --> 00:06:53,434
Uh. It's a freak of nature.

160
00:06:53,436 --> 00:06:55,002
[Jason chuckles]
Well, I'm glad it was yours.

161
00:06:55,004 --> 00:06:56,905
'Cause, salt water,
it's like kryptonite

162
00:06:56,907 --> 00:06:58,006
for the wheelchair.

163
00:06:58,008 --> 00:07:00,441
Jason, are you making
a handicap joke?

164
00:07:00,443 --> 00:07:02,210
[stutters]
I'm sorry, I thought...

165
00:07:02,212 --> 00:07:03,845
'Cause...

166
00:07:03,847 --> 00:07:05,913
I'm the one in the...
Uh, Rachel called me.

167
00:07:05,915 --> 00:07:07,081
It sounds like
she made it off fine.

168
00:07:07,083 --> 00:07:08,383
So, the two of you
were trying to make

169
00:07:08,385 --> 00:07:09,484
the long-distance thing work?

170
00:07:09,486 --> 00:07:12,153
The odds are against it, Jason,
and she's ambitious

171
00:07:12,155 --> 00:07:14,189
and you live at home.

172
00:07:14,191 --> 00:07:16,023
- [Nancy] Frank?
- [Frank] Yes?

173
00:07:16,025 --> 00:07:18,225
Don't pay any attention
to him, Jason.

174
00:07:18,227 --> 00:07:20,261
[whispers]
He's been drinking.

175
00:07:20,263 --> 00:07:21,963
Well, I'd better be off
to work, so...

176
00:07:21,965 --> 00:07:24,131
Hey, Jason, do you wear
your Staples uniform

177
00:07:24,133 --> 00:07:25,766
under your clothes
like Superman,

178
00:07:25,768 --> 00:07:27,235
or do you go home
and change at your mom's,

179
00:07:27,237 --> 00:07:29,069
where you live, with your mom?

180
00:07:29,071 --> 00:07:33,307
[Nancy speaking in Spanish]

181
00:07:33,309 --> 00:07:37,177
[Frank speaking in Spanish]

182
00:07:37,179 --> 00:07:39,013
Can't understand the,
the whispered Spanish.

183
00:07:39,015 --> 00:07:41,516
Mr. Teagarten, I'd really like
to get along with you,

184
00:07:41,518 --> 00:07:43,251
even if Rachel and I
are eventually just friends,

185
00:07:43,253 --> 00:07:44,319
nothing more,

186
00:07:44,321 --> 00:07:46,888
'cause I... I think you guys
are amazing people.

187
00:07:46,890 --> 00:07:48,323
Thank you, Jason.

188
00:07:48,325 --> 00:07:50,891
- Have a nice day.
- Yeah.

189
00:07:50,893 --> 00:07:52,860
[Frank] Enjoy the ride.
[grunts]

190
00:07:52,862 --> 00:07:54,862
It's like,
'cause of the wheelchair.

191
00:07:54,864 --> 00:07:56,965
That's...

192
00:07:56,967 --> 00:07:58,335
- Have a nice one.
- [cell phone ringing]

193
00:08:00,537 --> 00:08:02,170
[cell phone beeps]

194
00:08:02,172 --> 00:08:04,872
Nigel, how's it going over there
in London, huh?

195
00:08:04,874 --> 00:08:06,473
Are they still
driving backwards?

196
00:08:06,475 --> 00:08:07,842
What are you talking about?

197
00:08:07,844 --> 00:08:09,110
[laughs]

198
00:08:09,112 --> 00:08:10,811
You know what I mean.

199
00:08:10,813 --> 00:08:12,814
You know, sideways,

200
00:08:12,816 --> 00:08:14,282
the cars...
[sighs]

201
00:08:14,284 --> 00:08:15,350
the street?

202
00:08:15,352 --> 00:08:16,850
Have you been drinking?

203
00:08:16,852 --> 00:08:17,951
Oh, that's hilarious.

204
00:08:17,953 --> 00:08:20,121
Seriously.
[laughs]

205
00:08:20,123 --> 00:08:21,889
Listen to me,
I am gonna be traveling

206
00:08:21,891 --> 00:08:23,057
for a while, all right?

207
00:08:23,059 --> 00:08:24,324
I'm gonna be gone to Nepal,

208
00:08:24,326 --> 00:08:25,826
I'll be gone
for about four months,

209
00:08:25,828 --> 00:08:26,727
I'll be off the grid.

210
00:08:26,729 --> 00:08:28,162
Oh, that's weird.
Hey, listen, Nigel,

211
00:08:28,164 --> 00:08:29,163
while I have you on the phone,

212
00:08:29,165 --> 00:08:31,833
I think I need to ask you
for more money...

213
00:08:31,835 --> 00:08:32,833
to watch the house.

214
00:08:32,835 --> 00:08:34,501
'Cause I'm over there
like three days a week.

215
00:08:34,503 --> 00:08:35,703
What are you talking about?

216
00:08:35,705 --> 00:08:37,872
[Nigel] It's not that hard
to watch my house.

217
00:08:37,874 --> 00:08:39,207
I live right next door to you.

218
00:08:39,209 --> 00:08:40,974
I should... I can get
the kid down the street

219
00:08:40,976 --> 00:08:42,010
to do it for free,

220
00:08:42,012 --> 00:08:43,812
just so he can go in
and watch cable.

221
00:08:43,814 --> 00:08:45,012
Jesus.

222
00:08:45,014 --> 00:08:47,181
What did he say
about more money?

223
00:08:47,183 --> 00:08:48,351
I don't think he's into it.

224
00:08:50,085 --> 00:08:51,455
I'm going to Nigel's
for a minute.

225
00:08:54,291 --> 00:08:55,359
[keys jingle]

226
00:08:57,927 --> 00:09:00,931
[foreboding music]

227
00:09:07,103 --> 00:09:08,472
[door creaking]

228
00:09:20,517 --> 00:09:21,518
No.

229
00:09:22,484 --> 00:09:24,586
[cell phone ringing]

230
00:09:24,588 --> 00:09:26,320
[cell phone beeps]

231
00:09:26,322 --> 00:09:28,323
- Hello, this is Frank.
- [inaudible dialogue]

232
00:09:28,325 --> 00:09:30,424
Oh, hi. Uh...

233
00:09:30,426 --> 00:09:32,961
Yes, I am going to pay you soon.

234
00:09:32,963 --> 00:09:34,062
Uh, no, I don't know when,

235
00:09:34,064 --> 00:09:37,265
but your credit card
is very important to me, so I...

236
00:09:37,267 --> 00:09:40,034
Oh, yes, I know that, but...
[sighs]

237
00:09:40,036 --> 00:09:41,602
Well, I do wanna work with you,
so how about this?

238
00:09:41,604 --> 00:09:42,538
I'll send you the credit card,

239
00:09:42,540 --> 00:09:45,106
and you just shove it up
your fucking ass.

240
00:09:45,108 --> 00:09:46,241
- Does that work?
- [inaudible dialogue]

241
00:09:46,243 --> 00:09:47,507
[cell phone beeps]

242
00:09:47,509 --> 00:09:50,513
[foreboding music]

243
00:09:55,384 --> 00:09:56,950
Yes.

244
00:09:56,952 --> 00:09:58,288
Yes. Yes.

245
00:10:02,325 --> 00:10:03,491
[Nancy] Absolutely not.

246
00:10:03,493 --> 00:10:05,093
It's a Chateau Latour.

247
00:10:05,095 --> 00:10:06,928
It's worth 800 dollars.

248
00:10:06,930 --> 00:10:08,328
Have you lost your mind?

249
00:10:08,330 --> 00:10:10,198
Wait a minute.

250
00:10:10,200 --> 00:10:12,333
Since when
did you start smoking?

251
00:10:12,335 --> 00:10:13,468
- Just now.
- [scoffs]

252
00:10:13,470 --> 00:10:14,935
Great timing.

253
00:10:14,937 --> 00:10:16,670
Just when we can't afford it.

254
00:10:16,672 --> 00:10:18,673
Nigel has hundreds
of bottles of wine.

255
00:10:18,675 --> 00:10:19,741
He doesn't need more wine.

256
00:10:19,743 --> 00:10:22,043
He needs a punch in the face,
but not more wine.

257
00:10:22,045 --> 00:10:23,578
[Nancy] Would you please
have some decency?

258
00:10:23,580 --> 00:10:26,213
You're supposed to be looking
after his property,

259
00:10:26,215 --> 00:10:28,482
not parting it out
like an old Chevy.

260
00:10:28,484 --> 00:10:30,117
- What?
- I mean, what's next?

261
00:10:30,119 --> 00:10:33,987
You gonna put an... an ad
on Craigslist and rent it out?

262
00:10:33,989 --> 00:10:35,122
[sighs]

263
00:10:35,124 --> 00:10:37,157
Rent out his house?

264
00:10:37,159 --> 00:10:39,863
Rent out Nigel's house?
On Craigslist?

265
00:10:40,696 --> 00:10:41,963
That's insane.

266
00:10:41,965 --> 00:10:43,931
[Nancy] Stop changing
the subject.

267
00:10:43,933 --> 00:10:46,633
Put that bottle of wine back.

268
00:10:46,635 --> 00:10:48,001
Right now.

269
00:10:48,003 --> 00:10:49,572
Shame on you, Frank!

270
00:10:50,407 --> 00:10:51,472
[Nancy sighs]

271
00:10:51,474 --> 00:10:53,573
♪ Hurdy gurdy, hurdy gurdy ♪

272
00:10:53,575 --> 00:10:57,578
♪ Hurdy gurdy gurdy, he sang ♪

273
00:10:57,580 --> 00:11:00,314
♪ Here comes the Roly Poly Man ♪

274
00:11:00,316 --> 00:11:03,517
♪ He's singing songs of love ♪

275
00:11:03,519 --> 00:11:06,721
♪ Roly poly,
Roly poly, roly... ♪

276
00:11:06,723 --> 00:11:08,655
I love this album.

277
00:11:08,657 --> 00:11:10,426
Are they still called albums?

278
00:11:11,127 --> 00:11:14,161
Albums...

279
00:11:14,163 --> 00:11:17,598
C, D, D, D.

280
00:11:17,600 --> 00:11:20,568
C, D, D, D.

281
00:11:20,570 --> 00:11:22,270
[laughs]

282
00:11:22,272 --> 00:11:24,072
You know the Filipinos?

283
00:11:24,074 --> 00:11:25,238
Bob and Teresa?

284
00:11:25,240 --> 00:11:27,040
From the Philippines.

285
00:11:27,042 --> 00:11:30,144
They used to strap
coca tree bark to their bodies

286
00:11:30,146 --> 00:11:31,578
before they went to battle.

287
00:11:31,580 --> 00:11:35,516
The coca then, would leech
into their bloodstream,

288
00:11:35,518 --> 00:11:37,517
and get them amped up

289
00:11:37,519 --> 00:11:40,188
to help them overcome
the fear of war.

290
00:11:40,190 --> 00:11:43,190
Frank, we're at war.

291
00:11:43,192 --> 00:11:46,194
I don't think we can get
our hands on that kind of bark.

292
00:11:46,196 --> 00:11:48,729
- We ran out of vodka.
- [clattering]

293
00:11:48,731 --> 00:11:51,531
I wonder what Rachel
will listen to in college.

294
00:11:51,533 --> 00:11:53,668
What music will...

295
00:11:53,670 --> 00:11:56,069
transport her back to her youth,

296
00:11:56,071 --> 00:11:58,473
back to a time when her
whole life was in front of her.

297
00:11:58,475 --> 00:12:00,208
[inhales deeply]

298
00:12:00,210 --> 00:12:02,242
- I don't know.
- [cork squeaking]

299
00:12:02,244 --> 00:12:04,277
I only know I'm sad
about that vodka.

300
00:12:04,279 --> 00:12:05,281
[cork pops]

301
00:12:07,182 --> 00:12:08,251
Fuck it.

302
00:12:09,619 --> 00:12:11,151
Latour, baby!

303
00:12:11,153 --> 00:12:12,355
[Nancy gulping]

304
00:12:13,455 --> 00:12:16,493
Whatever happens probably will.

305
00:12:17,760 --> 00:12:19,629
- Let's finish it inside.
- Yeah.

306
00:12:20,330 --> 00:12:22,063
Yeah.

307
00:12:22,065 --> 00:12:25,032
Starts getting better tomorrow.

308
00:12:25,034 --> 00:12:27,234
[singing]
♪ When I'm stuck with a day ♪

309
00:12:27,236 --> 00:12:30,338
♪ That's grey, and lonely ♪

310
00:12:30,340 --> 00:12:32,473
[both singing]
♪ I just stick out my chin ♪

311
00:12:32,475 --> 00:12:34,375
- ♪ and grin... ♪
- [Nancy thuds]

312
00:12:34,377 --> 00:12:36,676
- [Frank] Oh!
- [Nancy] ♪ And say ♪

313
00:12:36,678 --> 00:12:41,415
♪ The sun will come out
Tomorrow ♪

314
00:12:41,417 --> 00:12:45,486
[both singing]
♪ Mañana! Mañana! ♪

315
00:12:45,488 --> 00:12:48,455
♪ Te quiero, mañana! ♪

316
00:12:48,457 --> 00:12:53,093
♪ You're only a day ♪

317
00:12:53,095 --> 00:12:57,365
♪ Away! ♪

318
00:12:57,367 --> 00:13:00,300
[Frank laughs]
You fell on your ass, baby.

319
00:13:00,302 --> 00:13:03,306
[rock music]

320
00:13:07,076 --> 00:13:08,445
[record player crackling]

321
00:13:09,412 --> 00:13:10,513
[door opens]

322
00:13:14,216 --> 00:13:15,651
[birds chirping]

323
00:13:29,699 --> 00:13:31,168
[Carl] Excuse me!

324
00:13:31,835 --> 00:13:34,635
Hi.
[chuckles]

325
00:13:34,637 --> 00:13:37,371
What, what can you tell me
about this house?

326
00:13:37,373 --> 00:13:38,506
I'm sorry?

327
00:13:38,508 --> 00:13:42,376
There was a rental ad
for this house on Craigslist,

328
00:13:42,378 --> 00:13:44,511
but no one's answering
the doorbell.

329
00:13:44,513 --> 00:13:46,447
An ad on Craigslist?

330
00:13:46,449 --> 00:13:47,518
[Carl] Yeah.

331
00:13:48,551 --> 00:13:50,218
For Nigel's house?

332
00:13:50,220 --> 00:13:53,420
No, somebody named Frank?

333
00:13:53,422 --> 00:13:56,690
The ad's gone,
it was flagged for profanity.

334
00:13:56,692 --> 00:13:58,593
Okay, wait. Back the fuck up.

335
00:13:58,595 --> 00:14:00,394
Let's start over. What?

336
00:14:00,396 --> 00:14:01,795
[Carl] Well, there was an ad,

337
00:14:01,797 --> 00:14:04,298
"For rent,
big, beautiful fucking house

338
00:14:04,300 --> 00:14:05,833
furnished up the ass."

339
00:14:05,835 --> 00:14:07,604
Obviously, I was intrigued.

340
00:14:10,840 --> 00:14:12,309
Are, are you okay?

341
00:14:14,444 --> 00:14:16,180
Not even in the ballpark.

342
00:14:17,147 --> 00:14:18,581
[cart rattling]

343
00:14:19,648 --> 00:14:20,850
[cart thuds]

344
00:14:27,757 --> 00:14:29,857
Four dollars?

345
00:14:29,859 --> 00:14:32,593
Four dollars for a zucchini.

346
00:14:32,595 --> 00:14:35,596
And these people won't even
grease the wheels

347
00:14:35,598 --> 00:14:38,535
- of their shopping cart.
- [cart clattering]

348
00:14:39,301 --> 00:14:40,403
[Nancy] Fuckers.

349
00:14:49,512 --> 00:14:50,777
[Heidi] Nancy?

350
00:14:50,779 --> 00:14:52,246
Are you okay?

351
00:14:52,248 --> 00:14:53,684
Oh, you.
[chuckles]

352
00:14:54,617 --> 00:14:56,284
Heidi, hi.

353
00:14:56,286 --> 00:14:59,420
I'm fine, it's just that
I saw a spider,

354
00:14:59,422 --> 00:15:01,322
and I tried to get it.
[laughs]

355
00:15:01,324 --> 00:15:03,290
My foot got stuck.

356
00:15:03,292 --> 00:15:06,429
Um, are those box wines
in your cart?

357
00:15:07,763 --> 00:15:10,198
[laughs]

358
00:15:10,200 --> 00:15:11,966
No, I'm juicing.

359
00:15:11,968 --> 00:15:14,267
[gasps]
How are Chip and the kids?

360
00:15:14,269 --> 00:15:16,938
Oh, Chip pulled some strings
and got Carter into Yale.

361
00:15:16,940 --> 00:15:19,573
He won't light up the world
but he won't blow it up, either.

362
00:15:19,575 --> 00:15:20,708
Oh.
[chuckles]

363
00:15:20,710 --> 00:15:23,743
Oh, totally off subject,
did you hear about Lisa Chang?

364
00:15:23,745 --> 00:15:24,978
No, Lisa?

365
00:15:24,980 --> 00:15:26,914
She and Andrew split up,
younger woman,

366
00:15:26,916 --> 00:15:28,348
yadda yadda, you know the drill.

367
00:15:28,350 --> 00:15:32,752
But, Lisa is working
at Macy's now.

368
00:15:32,754 --> 00:15:34,421
- [gasps]
- [Heidi] At the perfume counter.

369
00:15:34,423 --> 00:15:37,424
- Oh, my god.
- Oh, my god.

370
00:15:37,426 --> 00:15:39,794
She's waving
those little smelly cards

371
00:15:39,796 --> 00:15:41,364
on people's faces.

372
00:15:42,398 --> 00:15:43,499
She gained ten pounds.

373
00:15:44,533 --> 00:15:46,567
And she's about to gain more.

374
00:15:46,569 --> 00:15:48,803
Because you have to be rich
to be skinny.

375
00:15:48,805 --> 00:15:52,573
All the cheap foods
are the ones that pork you up.

376
00:15:52,575 --> 00:15:55,543
The sugars, the carbs,
the corn syrup.

377
00:15:55,545 --> 00:15:56,876
I do not understand why

378
00:15:56,878 --> 00:15:59,847
the more preservatives
and chemicals

379
00:15:59,849 --> 00:16:02,683
they put in the food,
the cheaper it is.

380
00:16:02,685 --> 00:16:05,419
And the food that just comes
out of the earth,

381
00:16:05,421 --> 00:16:07,021
it's so expensive.

382
00:16:07,023 --> 00:16:08,521
- Bastards!
- [cart clatters]

383
00:16:08,523 --> 00:16:10,524
It's those hippies,

384
00:16:10,526 --> 00:16:12,459
they seed their sow going,

385
00:16:12,461 --> 00:16:16,764
"Hey dude, look at this
zucchini, man.

386
00:16:16,766 --> 00:16:20,034
It's so beautiful,
a gift from Mother Earth.

387
00:16:20,036 --> 00:16:22,303
How much should we
charge for it?"

388
00:16:22,305 --> 00:16:23,838
"Uh, I don't know,

389
00:16:23,840 --> 00:16:25,740
uh, 4.20?

390
00:16:25,742 --> 00:16:27,377
[laughs]

391
00:16:29,878 --> 00:16:31,945
[chortles]

392
00:16:31,947 --> 00:16:34,283
[both laugh]

393
00:16:37,019 --> 00:16:39,555
Okay, bye. Goodbye.
Nice to see you.

394
00:16:40,623 --> 00:16:41,988
- Bye. Bye.
- Bye.

395
00:16:41,990 --> 00:16:43,056
[Nancy] Bye.

396
00:16:43,058 --> 00:16:44,527
[cell phone rings]

397
00:16:45,360 --> 00:16:47,330
Oh, my god. Oh, my god.

398
00:16:48,665 --> 00:16:49,664
Oh, Frank.

399
00:16:49,666 --> 00:16:52,436
I think I'm having
an anxiety attack, and...

400
00:16:55,370 --> 00:16:56,505
Wait, what?

401
00:16:58,374 --> 00:17:00,607
[car approaching]

402
00:17:00,609 --> 00:17:02,345
[tires screeching]

403
00:17:04,914 --> 00:17:06,414
[car door opens]

404
00:17:06,416 --> 00:17:07,848
[car door closes]

405
00:17:07,850 --> 00:17:09,253
[keys jingle]

406
00:17:10,419 --> 00:17:11,420
[door opens]

407
00:17:13,723 --> 00:17:14,825
Is this a joke?

408
00:17:17,760 --> 00:17:19,960
- But when?
- [Frank] The check?

409
00:17:19,962 --> 00:17:21,628
No, the ad.

410
00:17:21,630 --> 00:17:23,830
Oh, it must have been last night
when we were drinking.

411
00:17:23,832 --> 00:17:26,032
I thought you did it.
It was all your idea.

412
00:17:26,034 --> 00:17:27,902
My idea?

413
00:17:27,904 --> 00:17:30,771
Frank, I said it to make a point

414
00:17:30,773 --> 00:17:33,874
about how we don't do anything
stupid like that.

415
00:17:33,876 --> 00:17:35,108
Don't you remember?

416
00:17:35,110 --> 00:17:36,810
I don't remember us
polishing off

417
00:17:36,812 --> 00:17:39,012
that Chateau Latour,
but we did that too, right?

418
00:17:39,014 --> 00:17:40,380
[Nancy] I remember that.

419
00:17:40,382 --> 00:17:42,415
I remember pulling the cork,

420
00:17:42,417 --> 00:17:43,651
it made that pop sound

421
00:17:43,653 --> 00:17:45,786
like the crunch sound
Eve probably made

422
00:17:45,788 --> 00:17:47,291
when she bit the apple.

423
00:17:47,823 --> 00:17:48,857
Baby.

424
00:17:48,859 --> 00:17:51,826
It's six months in advance,
his name is Carl,

425
00:17:51,828 --> 00:17:54,064
and for what it's worth,
I think he was sent from God.

426
00:17:56,131 --> 00:17:59,799
Frank, do you understand
what this means?

427
00:17:59,801 --> 00:18:03,636
It means an entire year
of Rachel's tuition.

428
00:18:03,638 --> 00:18:05,742
Thank you, Jesus!

429
00:18:07,877 --> 00:18:09,909
- [gasps]
- Does this mean...

430
00:18:09,911 --> 00:18:11,614
we're gonna celebrate?

431
00:18:12,915 --> 00:18:14,682
Heck yes!

432
00:18:14,684 --> 00:18:16,953
But I gotta do something first.

433
00:18:18,120 --> 00:18:19,388
I'll be right back.

434
00:18:20,523 --> 00:18:22,024
[retreating footsteps]

435
00:18:23,993 --> 00:18:26,996
[romantic music plays]

436
00:18:30,666 --> 00:18:31,967
[doorbell rings]

437
00:18:38,006 --> 00:18:39,042
[Carl] Hi, Frank.

438
00:18:39,641 --> 00:18:40,741
Hey.

439
00:18:40,743 --> 00:18:42,842
Is that Dave Brubeck
on the stereo?

440
00:18:42,844 --> 00:18:44,412
- No.
- [Carl] Ah. Too bad,

441
00:18:44,414 --> 00:18:45,480
I love Brubeck.

442
00:18:45,482 --> 00:18:48,482
Especially back when Stan Getz
was on tenor sax.

443
00:18:48,484 --> 00:18:50,184
Getz did the soundtrack
for Micky One,

444
00:18:50,186 --> 00:18:51,952
which is my favorite
Warren Beatty film.

445
00:18:51,954 --> 00:18:54,855
I wanna say '65, '66.

446
00:18:54,857 --> 00:18:57,057
Warren Beatty
was a handsome boy.

447
00:18:57,059 --> 00:18:58,792
Got all the lady women, right?

448
00:18:58,794 --> 00:19:00,594
But you know,
Micky One's not for everyone.

449
00:19:00,596 --> 00:19:01,694
You have to be patient.

450
00:19:01,696 --> 00:19:04,498
Unlike Star Wars,
that really trucks along, right?

451
00:19:04,500 --> 00:19:05,899
Same with Dances With Wolves.

452
00:19:05,901 --> 00:19:06,966
Kevin Costner, he was...

453
00:19:06,968 --> 00:19:09,103
[man clears throat]

454
00:19:09,105 --> 00:19:12,071
Uh, Carl, that was bizarre,
and I didn't follow any of it.

455
00:19:12,073 --> 00:19:13,507
Is everything okay?

456
00:19:13,509 --> 00:19:14,707
Oh, it's...

457
00:19:14,709 --> 00:19:16,210
I love the house.

458
00:19:16,212 --> 00:19:17,811
- [chuckles]
- [Carl] I'm being rude.

459
00:19:17,813 --> 00:19:20,213
- This is my good buddy, Joe.
- [Joe clears throat]

460
00:19:20,215 --> 00:19:23,552
Well, less of a buddy
and more of a parole officer.

461
00:19:24,786 --> 00:19:25,919
I beg your pardon?

462
00:19:25,921 --> 00:19:30,523
Frank, uh, as a new neighbor,
I'm "legally required"

463
00:19:30,525 --> 00:19:33,793
to tell you that
I'm a registered sex offender.

464
00:19:33,795 --> 00:19:34,994
Come again?

465
00:19:34,996 --> 00:19:37,063
Wow, really?
[laughs]

466
00:19:37,065 --> 00:19:38,031
Really what?

467
00:19:38,033 --> 00:19:40,166
I... I was kidding.
You said "come again"

468
00:19:40,168 --> 00:19:42,837
and I'm a sex offender.
It was a joke.

469
00:19:42,839 --> 00:19:44,938
[Joe]
Carl's a class three offender.

470
00:19:44,940 --> 00:19:48,742
He has to notify any resident
within a designated area.

471
00:19:48,744 --> 00:19:50,478
So we'll be going
house to house.

472
00:19:50,480 --> 00:19:51,912
It's kind of like
trick or treating,

473
00:19:51,914 --> 00:19:53,746
except for we don't get candy,

474
00:19:53,748 --> 00:19:55,982
we tell people I'm a pedophile.

475
00:19:55,984 --> 00:19:58,219
I'm sorry, I'm having trouble
with my ears.

476
00:19:58,221 --> 00:20:01,821
There's a really loud sound
to them, like a...

477
00:20:01,823 --> 00:20:04,959
like a roaring
crashing ocean, so...

478
00:20:04,961 --> 00:20:06,659
What the fuck did you just say?

479
00:20:06,661 --> 00:20:08,261
[Nancy] Baby, tell little Frank

480
00:20:08,263 --> 00:20:09,963
that I'm here, that I'm ready.

481
00:20:09,965 --> 00:20:11,065
Baby, get away from the door!

482
00:20:11,067 --> 00:20:12,132
[screams]

483
00:20:12,134 --> 00:20:14,501
[speaking in Spanish]

484
00:20:14,503 --> 00:20:15,769
Wow. Frank.
[chuckles]

485
00:20:15,771 --> 00:20:17,474
You really did well.

486
00:20:19,207 --> 00:20:21,774
[Frank] I did not
see that coming.

487
00:20:21,776 --> 00:20:24,944
[Nancy] Good.
I'm glad you didn't plan this.

488
00:20:24,946 --> 00:20:27,280
[Frank] Gotta burn down
the house to cook the pig.

489
00:20:27,282 --> 00:20:28,348
[Nancy] What?

490
00:20:28,350 --> 00:20:30,717
[Frank] I'm saying,
"I did not see that coming."

491
00:20:30,719 --> 00:20:32,019
[Nancy] Oh, look.

492
00:20:32,021 --> 00:20:33,654
They're going
to the Templeman's.

493
00:20:33,656 --> 00:20:35,222
Nice people, the Templeman's.

494
00:20:35,224 --> 00:20:37,590
Their lawn is always so green.

495
00:20:37,592 --> 00:20:39,792
I've always wondered
what they use.

496
00:20:39,794 --> 00:20:41,228
Maybe you can call Carl.

497
00:20:41,230 --> 00:20:43,931
You know, the fucking,
fucking sex offender,

498
00:20:43,933 --> 00:20:45,135
and ask him to ask them.

499
00:20:46,735 --> 00:20:48,769
[Frank inhales]

500
00:20:48,771 --> 00:20:51,070
Probably magnesium sulfate.

501
00:20:51,072 --> 00:20:53,706
[Nancy] You realize
we're going to jail, right?

502
00:20:53,708 --> 00:20:55,842
[Frank] No.
Nigel will never press charges,

503
00:20:55,844 --> 00:20:57,978
I've pulled his fat out
of the fire too many times.

504
00:20:57,980 --> 00:21:00,180
Like last month,
his smoke detector was beeping,

505
00:21:00,182 --> 00:21:02,683
I changed the nine-volt,
didn't even charge him.

506
00:21:02,685 --> 00:21:04,117
[Nancy] Snap out of it,
motherfucker.

507
00:21:04,119 --> 00:21:06,252
We're going to jail.

508
00:21:06,254 --> 00:21:08,621
Don't, uh,
forget your prescriptions

509
00:21:08,623 --> 00:21:10,324
and anything else you might need
for the next few weeks.

510
00:21:10,326 --> 00:21:12,559
[Nancy] Frank, help me.

511
00:21:12,561 --> 00:21:14,129
Hold this bag. Hold this bag.

512
00:21:16,866 --> 00:21:19,066
Do you really need
all these panties and such, hun?

513
00:21:19,068 --> 00:21:21,734
No. I'm gonna hide them
in the attic.

514
00:21:21,736 --> 00:21:24,238
I don't want him
going all over my lingerie.

515
00:21:24,240 --> 00:21:25,772
The word is "cumming," honey.
Cumming.

516
00:21:25,774 --> 00:21:26,773
[Nancy] I don't give a damn.

517
00:21:26,775 --> 00:21:30,644
I do not want his DNA
on my private things.

518
00:21:30,646 --> 00:21:32,980
Baby, we really don't know
what he did.

519
00:21:32,982 --> 00:21:34,951
Then you should hide
your panties, too.

520
00:21:44,593 --> 00:21:46,659
Hi.

521
00:21:46,661 --> 00:21:49,896
[Carl] Look, I, I, I know
I should have said something,

522
00:21:49,898 --> 00:21:52,132
but it...
it's not like I told you

523
00:21:52,134 --> 00:21:54,734
I wasn't a registered offender.

524
00:21:54,736 --> 00:21:56,235
Oh, my god, he just said that.

525
00:21:56,237 --> 00:21:57,771
I saw his lips move
and everything.

526
00:21:57,773 --> 00:21:58,972
[Frank] Carl.

527
00:21:58,974 --> 00:22:01,140
Part of me would like to punch
you in the face right now,

528
00:22:01,142 --> 00:22:03,777
but another part of me would
like to kick you in the balls.

529
00:22:03,779 --> 00:22:04,845
Which do you prefer?

530
00:22:04,847 --> 00:22:08,382
Uh, thanks. I... I normally
don't get a choice.

531
00:22:08,384 --> 00:22:11,151
But I, I don't know anything
about your house.

532
00:22:11,153 --> 00:22:14,754
Well, how do I know your house
is as nice as this house?

533
00:22:14,756 --> 00:22:16,857
Our house is gorgeous.

534
00:22:16,859 --> 00:22:19,393
Carl, you don't have a choice.

535
00:22:19,395 --> 00:22:22,128
Our house could be a shack
cantilevered over

536
00:22:22,130 --> 00:22:24,130
hell's septic tank,
and it wouldn't matter.

537
00:22:24,132 --> 00:22:25,398
You either move into our house,

538
00:22:25,400 --> 00:22:29,002
or you're back on the street,
because you cannot stay here.

539
00:22:29,004 --> 00:22:32,905
I guess I could just get
my 25 grand back

540
00:22:32,907 --> 00:22:34,340
and find another place.

541
00:22:34,342 --> 00:22:35,811
[inhales deeply]

542
00:22:41,050 --> 00:22:42,217
You know what?

543
00:22:43,019 --> 00:22:44,184
Fine with me.

544
00:22:44,186 --> 00:22:47,287
Because I'm not even sure
that I want you in my house,

545
00:22:47,289 --> 00:22:50,758
sleeping in our bed,
inside our sheets,

546
00:22:50,760 --> 00:22:53,260
where I sleep naked
all the time.

547
00:22:53,262 --> 00:22:54,328
[Nancy grunts]

548
00:22:54,330 --> 00:22:56,930
And what if he finds
our home videos?

549
00:22:56,932 --> 00:22:59,032
Didn't I tell you
not to film that?

550
00:22:59,034 --> 00:23:01,702
[stammers]
Maybe I can make this work.

551
00:23:01,704 --> 00:23:03,936
Let me... let me run
something by you.

552
00:23:03,938 --> 00:23:06,339
The Swedish Duxiana mattress.

553
00:23:06,341 --> 00:23:09,376
I haven't been able to sleep
one night in it.

554
00:23:09,378 --> 00:23:13,079
I'm not really interested
in mattresses normally,

555
00:23:13,081 --> 00:23:16,817
but this is my one time
for this mattress,

556
00:23:16,819 --> 00:23:18,152
and I'm not even a mattress guy.

557
00:23:18,154 --> 00:23:20,020
- You want the mattress, Carl?
- [Carl] Yeah.

558
00:23:20,022 --> 00:23:21,288
Are you out
of your fucking mind?

559
00:23:21,290 --> 00:23:22,822
You're not getting the mattress.

560
00:23:22,824 --> 00:23:24,191
Have you ever had
your head examined?

561
00:23:24,193 --> 00:23:25,959
What's in there, Pop-Tarts?

562
00:23:25,961 --> 00:23:27,927
"I'm not even a mattress guy."

563
00:23:27,929 --> 00:23:29,229
- [stammers]
- Jesus H. Christ, Carl.

564
00:23:29,231 --> 00:23:32,299
You are not getting
the fucking mattress!

565
00:23:32,301 --> 00:23:34,337
[Carl] Why are we going through
the backyard?

566
00:23:35,137 --> 00:23:36,736
Why is the sky blue?

567
00:23:36,738 --> 00:23:38,004
[Carl] Uh, 'cause sunlight

568
00:23:38,006 --> 00:23:40,240
is refracted
by dust particles in the air

569
00:23:40,242 --> 00:23:43,242
and blue is the dominant color
of the spectrum?

570
00:23:43,244 --> 00:23:45,212
Did you learn that
in the fifth grade,

571
00:23:45,214 --> 00:23:46,780
or from a fifth grader?

572
00:23:46,782 --> 00:23:47,850
[Carl] Ouch.

573
00:23:50,386 --> 00:23:52,051
[Nancy] Baby,
only you would think

574
00:23:52,053 --> 00:23:55,923
of turning Nigel's pool
into our own private drive-in.

575
00:23:55,925 --> 00:23:57,790
[Frank]
Maybe I'm losing my mind.

576
00:23:57,792 --> 00:23:59,492
[both] Aww.

577
00:23:59,494 --> 00:24:01,427
[Nancy] Look at her.

578
00:24:01,429 --> 00:24:03,864
That was Rachel's
fifth-grade play.

579
00:24:03,866 --> 00:24:05,299
She was so good.

580
00:24:05,301 --> 00:24:07,835
Rachel was the best thing in it.
I'm being objective.

581
00:24:07,837 --> 00:24:08,802
I mean, compared to Rachel,

582
00:24:08,804 --> 00:24:10,771
the rest of these kids
were all laughable.

583
00:24:10,773 --> 00:24:14,744
Their screechy voices,
so hard on the ears.

584
00:24:16,011 --> 00:24:18,145
[Nancy] Ah, and there it is.

585
00:24:18,147 --> 00:24:22,515
Janice's grand,
unforgettable party.

586
00:24:22,517 --> 00:24:24,818
Your sister
only threw that party

587
00:24:24,820 --> 00:24:26,753
to prove how rich she is.

588
00:24:26,755 --> 00:24:30,022
You know, I was in
a 98 cents store today.

589
00:24:30,024 --> 00:24:32,158
[sighs]
I bet you anything that Janice

590
00:24:32,160 --> 00:24:35,261
would never set foot
in one of those.

591
00:24:35,263 --> 00:24:37,297
That's only because
she married Dan,

592
00:24:37,299 --> 00:24:40,501
not because
she's any smarter than you.

593
00:24:40,503 --> 00:24:43,236
Do you remember
when we went together?

594
00:24:43,238 --> 00:24:45,505
You were craving Baby Ruths.

595
00:24:45,507 --> 00:24:48,308
I just had to have
that Baby Ruth.

596
00:24:48,310 --> 00:24:50,844
On a hunch,
we bought that pregnancy test

597
00:24:50,846 --> 00:24:53,347
and eight months later,

598
00:24:53,349 --> 00:24:55,918
along came our little Rachel.

599
00:24:56,417 --> 00:24:57,917
To Baby Ruths.

600
00:24:57,919 --> 00:24:59,386
- To Baby Ruths.
- [Frank moans]

601
00:24:59,388 --> 00:25:00,956
[cell phone ringing]

602
00:25:02,925 --> 00:25:03,926
[cell phone beeps]

603
00:25:05,226 --> 00:25:06,292
[in an English accent]
Hello?

604
00:25:06,294 --> 00:25:07,360
[inaudible dialogue on phone]

605
00:25:07,362 --> 00:25:08,965
Mr. Teagarten's not at home.

606
00:25:09,465 --> 00:25:11,063
I'm sorry?

607
00:25:11,065 --> 00:25:12,965
He owes you money?

608
00:25:12,967 --> 00:25:15,836
Well, I'm his butler,
not his accountant,

609
00:25:15,838 --> 00:25:16,936
you fucking ass.

610
00:25:16,938 --> 00:25:18,273
- [inaudible dialogue on phone]
- [cell phone beeps]

611
00:25:18,974 --> 00:25:20,009
[clears throat]

612
00:25:21,109 --> 00:25:22,876
That was Mastercard.

613
00:25:22,878 --> 00:25:26,346
Frank, why don't we sell
our funeral plots?

614
00:25:26,348 --> 00:25:27,848
We can get what,

615
00:25:27,850 --> 00:25:30,149
2,000 dollars at least, right?

616
00:25:30,151 --> 00:25:33,355
Shit, baby, I'm sorry.
School wanted a dorm deposit.

617
00:25:34,290 --> 00:25:35,289
Well, how lovely.

618
00:25:35,291 --> 00:25:38,325
I actually have to pee
really badly right now,

619
00:25:38,327 --> 00:25:40,594
and I would normally
do it right here in the pool,

620
00:25:40,596 --> 00:25:42,799
but I don't wanna make
our problems any worse.

621
00:25:44,332 --> 00:25:45,334
[door closes]

622
00:25:48,070 --> 00:25:49,304
[doorbell rings]

623
00:25:51,240 --> 00:25:52,475
Is that you, Carl?

624
00:25:55,476 --> 00:25:57,144
[man 1] What's up, pervert?

625
00:25:57,146 --> 00:25:58,478
[Frank] What the hell
is going on here?

626
00:25:58,480 --> 00:25:59,579
- [thwacks]
- [Frank grunts]

627
00:25:59,581 --> 00:26:02,182
[Frank] Nancy, Nancy, call 911!

628
00:26:02,184 --> 00:26:03,517
[man 2] Who you talking to?

629
00:26:03,519 --> 00:26:04,885
[Frank] Uh, nobody.

630
00:26:04,887 --> 00:26:06,118
There's nobody else here.

631
00:26:06,120 --> 00:26:07,553
- [thwacks]
- [Frank grunts]

632
00:26:07,555 --> 00:26:10,559
[suspenseful music]

633
00:26:13,094 --> 00:26:14,930
Oh, my god.

634
00:26:16,398 --> 00:26:20,166
[Nancy] Run, run, ISIS has come!

635
00:26:20,168 --> 00:26:22,935
I am... I am neutral!

636
00:26:22,937 --> 00:26:25,606
Put me down! Put me down!

637
00:26:25,608 --> 00:26:28,811
[tense music]

638
00:26:30,145 --> 00:26:31,244
[engine revs]

639
00:26:31,246 --> 00:26:33,115
[tires screech]

640
00:26:37,986 --> 00:26:40,989
[suspenseful music]

641
00:26:44,426 --> 00:26:47,194
[gun cocks]

642
00:26:47,196 --> 00:26:49,562
[man 3] You know what this bitch
was doing when I grabbed her?

643
00:26:49,564 --> 00:26:52,299
Staring at a little girl
in a leotard.

644
00:26:52,301 --> 00:26:54,001
[muffled]
I'm looking at my daughter.

645
00:26:54,003 --> 00:26:56,002
[man 2] The law won't protect
our community

646
00:26:56,004 --> 00:26:57,439
from deviants like you.

647
00:26:57,973 --> 00:26:59,075
We will!

648
00:27:00,975 --> 00:27:03,079
So if we see you
anywhere near...

649
00:27:03,646 --> 00:27:06,245
112 Blue Jay...

650
00:27:06,247 --> 00:27:08,014
- [gunshot]
- [Nancy] Oh, my god!

651
00:27:08,016 --> 00:27:09,619
[crows cawing]

652
00:27:14,255 --> 00:27:15,992
[Nancy] We just escaped death.

653
00:27:17,192 --> 00:27:18,392
They thought you were Carl,

654
00:27:18,394 --> 00:27:20,694
because Carl gave out
Nigel's address.

655
00:27:20,696 --> 00:27:22,095
[Frank yelling]
They thought I was Carl

656
00:27:22,097 --> 00:27:24,063
because he gave out
Nigel's address.

657
00:27:24,065 --> 00:27:26,366
That's what I just said,
why are you screaming?

658
00:27:26,368 --> 00:27:27,667
[Frank] The gunshots!

659
00:27:27,669 --> 00:27:29,339
My ears are, you know.

660
00:27:31,240 --> 00:27:32,539
You know how you know
when your life

661
00:27:32,541 --> 00:27:34,473
is out of control?

662
00:27:34,475 --> 00:27:36,542
When there's a ringing
in your ears

663
00:27:36,544 --> 00:27:39,078
and you don't know
if it's a creditor calling

664
00:27:39,080 --> 00:27:41,181
or a kidnapper
has fired a shotgun

665
00:27:41,183 --> 00:27:43,253
- six inches from your head.
- [horn blaring]

666
00:27:48,256 --> 00:27:50,723
Is that Spanx over tights?

667
00:27:50,725 --> 00:27:52,725
Yes, I'm double spanking.

668
00:27:52,727 --> 00:27:55,031
Do you have to scream it
to the world?

669
00:27:56,031 --> 00:27:57,563
'Cause right about now,

670
00:27:57,565 --> 00:28:00,166
I'd like to have a pair
of really tight Spanx

671
00:28:00,168 --> 00:28:03,136
around my fucking neck!

672
00:28:03,138 --> 00:28:05,973
[Nancy] No, Janice
would never understand.

673
00:28:05,975 --> 00:28:07,139
But she's your sister.

674
00:28:07,141 --> 00:28:09,177
She will ask too many questions.

675
00:28:09,978 --> 00:28:11,511
Our car broke down.

676
00:28:11,513 --> 00:28:12,611
Right.

677
00:28:12,613 --> 00:28:14,213
And I'm barefoot

678
00:28:14,215 --> 00:28:16,383
because we have
the Flintstones car.

679
00:28:16,385 --> 00:28:18,488
and I peddled it like Wilma.

680
00:28:22,123 --> 00:28:23,490
[Frank] What's your guess
on his net worth?

681
00:28:23,492 --> 00:28:25,424
I'd say at least
a hundred million.

682
00:28:25,426 --> 00:28:26,526
It's as high
as two hundred million.

683
00:28:26,528 --> 00:28:28,028
No, that's too high.

684
00:28:28,030 --> 00:28:30,030
At least a hundred million.

685
00:28:30,032 --> 00:28:31,498
He's definitely well fed.

686
00:28:31,500 --> 00:28:32,366
Please, let's go.

687
00:28:32,368 --> 00:28:35,434
She... she'll never buy
our bullshit.

688
00:28:35,436 --> 00:28:38,238
And you can't tell her,
or anybody else for that matter.

689
00:28:38,240 --> 00:28:41,607
That's how this
falling from grace thing works.

690
00:28:41,609 --> 00:28:45,145
People find out, they look away,
they avert their eyes.

691
00:28:45,147 --> 00:28:47,047
Especially our friends.

692
00:28:47,049 --> 00:28:48,447
Are they really
our friends, then?

693
00:28:48,449 --> 00:28:49,348
Nancy, I'm too tired

694
00:28:49,350 --> 00:28:51,119
to have a deep conversation
right now.

695
00:28:53,488 --> 00:28:54,523
But, no.

696
00:28:55,357 --> 00:28:56,455
[Nancy] No, Frank.

697
00:28:56,457 --> 00:28:58,625
Why are you forcing me
to do this?

698
00:28:58,627 --> 00:29:01,194
I cannot take
this shit right now.

699
00:29:01,196 --> 00:29:02,796
I'm gonna get an anxiety attack.

700
00:29:02,798 --> 00:29:04,063
Not Betty.

701
00:29:04,065 --> 00:29:07,099
[Frank] Okay, I understand you
didn't wanna stay at Janice's,

702
00:29:07,101 --> 00:29:08,702
but now you don't wanna stay
at this sister's house?

703
00:29:08,704 --> 00:29:10,302
Look, we have nowhere to go.

704
00:29:10,304 --> 00:29:12,539
Carl's in our house,
we can't go back to Nigel's

705
00:29:12,541 --> 00:29:14,407
'cause those psychos said
they'd kill us,

706
00:29:14,409 --> 00:29:16,643
we don't have any credit cards,
you're barefoot,

707
00:29:16,645 --> 00:29:17,711
and I feel like hell.

708
00:29:17,713 --> 00:29:19,078
[Nancy] Of course, you do.

709
00:29:19,080 --> 00:29:20,680
'Cause we're almost there.

710
00:29:20,682 --> 00:29:22,148
That is hell.

711
00:29:22,150 --> 00:29:23,617
It's like we're in Kansas,

712
00:29:23,619 --> 00:29:26,386
and we're about to get sucked
into a tornado

713
00:29:26,388 --> 00:29:28,621
and drop into an inferno

714
00:29:28,623 --> 00:29:32,192
where Oompa Loompa's
on speed are the gatekeepers.

715
00:29:32,194 --> 00:29:33,626
[Frank] Baby,
I'm gonna need some time

716
00:29:33,628 --> 00:29:35,529
to sort through
all those analogies.

717
00:29:35,531 --> 00:29:37,664
Besides, it's not that bad.

718
00:29:37,666 --> 00:29:39,532
Just smile a lot.

719
00:29:39,534 --> 00:29:42,234
See? Smile. Like this.

720
00:29:42,236 --> 00:29:44,171
Let's see how long that lasts.

721
00:29:44,173 --> 00:29:45,508
[doorbell rings]

722
00:29:49,544 --> 00:29:51,778
- [Nancy] Hi, Tristan.
- [Frank] Hi, Tristan.

723
00:29:51,780 --> 00:29:53,113
Why is she barefoot?

724
00:29:53,115 --> 00:29:54,580
- Uh, Tai Chi.
- Uh...

725
00:29:54,582 --> 00:29:56,116
It's... it's very relaxing.

726
00:29:56,118 --> 00:29:57,651
Uh, can we come in?

727
00:29:57,653 --> 00:30:00,220
- I guess you could come in.
- [door closes]

728
00:30:00,222 --> 00:30:03,255
Dad, Uncle Frank
and Aunt Nancy are here.

729
00:30:03,257 --> 00:30:05,157
That's a really cool
walkie-talkie.

730
00:30:05,159 --> 00:30:06,393
Yeah, well, not to me.

731
00:30:06,395 --> 00:30:09,195
My fucking dad won't spring
for the Ace 10s,

732
00:30:09,197 --> 00:30:10,797
which are way more badass.

733
00:30:10,799 --> 00:30:12,799
- Hm.
- Navy SEALs use Ace 10s.

734
00:30:12,801 --> 00:30:14,800
They also use cool martial arts
like Krav Maga

735
00:30:14,802 --> 00:30:15,868
and cool shit like that.

736
00:30:15,870 --> 00:30:19,106
Tai Chi's for homos,
but you probably knew that.

737
00:30:19,108 --> 00:30:20,773
Smile, Frank.

738
00:30:20,775 --> 00:30:22,675
Oh, hi, Trey.

739
00:30:22,677 --> 00:30:23,777
I wish.

740
00:30:23,779 --> 00:30:27,446
My walkie-talkie is dead
as a used dick.

741
00:30:27,448 --> 00:30:28,848
[Trey] You have
any nine-volt batteries?

742
00:30:28,850 --> 00:30:30,216
- Me?
- Can I search you?

743
00:30:30,218 --> 00:30:31,318
- What?
- Nothing.

744
00:30:31,320 --> 00:30:34,120
Dad, for god sakes,
what is this, a Beckett play?

745
00:30:34,122 --> 00:30:35,754
When did this turn
into Waiting for Godot?

746
00:30:35,756 --> 00:30:38,390
That is quite a reference
for a young lad.

747
00:30:38,392 --> 00:30:40,359
Yeah, I'm Vladimir
and he's Estregon.

748
00:30:40,361 --> 00:30:42,364
- It... it's Estragon.
- [Tristan] Bullshit.

749
00:30:43,197 --> 00:30:44,463
Dad, chop-chop,

750
00:30:44,465 --> 00:30:46,566
the small talk's getting
a little thin out here.

751
00:30:46,568 --> 00:30:47,901
[Bob] All right,
I'm coming, I'm coming,

752
00:30:47,903 --> 00:30:49,435
don't get your panties in a wad.

753
00:30:49,437 --> 00:30:51,570
All hail, Lord Douchington.

754
00:30:51,572 --> 00:30:52,672
- [Frank grunts]
- Hi, Bob.

755
00:30:52,674 --> 00:30:53,839
[Bob] Hey, you made it.

756
00:30:53,841 --> 00:30:55,242
How's the trip?

757
00:30:55,244 --> 00:30:57,376
- Found everything okay?
- [Trey] Douche.

758
00:30:57,378 --> 00:30:59,378
Hey, that's TV for a week, pal.

759
00:30:59,380 --> 00:31:01,117
- Señor Douche.
- Yeah...

760
00:31:03,252 --> 00:31:04,350
God.

761
00:31:04,352 --> 00:31:05,618
Delightful.

762
00:31:05,620 --> 00:31:07,587
Hey, so, Nance,
how come you're barefoot?

763
00:31:07,589 --> 00:31:08,888
You ain't going hippie on me,
are you?

764
00:31:08,890 --> 00:31:10,322
[laughs]
Yeah.

765
00:31:10,324 --> 00:31:11,924
Um, I'm like...

766
00:31:11,926 --> 00:31:14,261
Wilma Flintstone.

767
00:31:14,263 --> 00:31:15,529
Fred was the one who drove.

768
00:31:15,531 --> 00:31:17,563
Wilma just rode shotgun.

769
00:31:17,565 --> 00:31:18,865
She drove sometimes.

770
00:31:18,867 --> 00:31:21,635
So, uh, they're termite tending
your house? What?

771
00:31:21,637 --> 00:31:23,336
Well, yeah, we tried to sleep
in the den,

772
00:31:23,338 --> 00:31:24,370
but there were all these fumes,

773
00:31:24,372 --> 00:31:26,639
and then it was like
we were back in the '60s.

774
00:31:26,641 --> 00:31:27,840
[laughs]

775
00:31:27,842 --> 00:31:28,908
Well, I wouldn't know.

776
00:31:28,910 --> 00:31:30,476
I'm way younger than you are.

777
00:31:30,478 --> 00:31:32,215
Hey, but I do know
the tending game.

778
00:31:32,813 --> 00:31:34,047
We got spiders.

779
00:31:34,049 --> 00:31:36,715
When those spider eggs pop,
those little spiders come out,

780
00:31:36,717 --> 00:31:38,818
they start biting everything
like crazy.

781
00:31:38,820 --> 00:31:40,453
Smile, Frank.
[laughs]

782
00:31:40,455 --> 00:31:42,422
- [chuckles]
- [Bob] Oh, yeah.

783
00:31:42,424 --> 00:31:43,956
- Do I sound defensive?
- [door closes]

784
00:31:43,958 --> 00:31:45,658
- No.
- Is Betty coming down?

785
00:31:45,660 --> 00:31:47,359
I was telling Frank
on the phone,

786
00:31:47,361 --> 00:31:48,962
she's laid up with diarrhea.

787
00:31:48,964 --> 00:31:51,830
She accidentally made a sandwich
out of cat food.

788
00:31:51,832 --> 00:31:53,899
Well, don't worry about us.
We had dinner already.

789
00:31:53,901 --> 00:31:54,967
I think I'm gonna go see

790
00:31:54,969 --> 00:31:56,770
- how she's...
- Hey, hey, hey. You...

791
00:31:56,772 --> 00:31:58,605
You don't wanna go up there
right now.

792
00:31:58,607 --> 00:32:01,340
She's on the throne,
blowing brown,

793
00:32:01,342 --> 00:32:02,442
if you catch my drift.

794
00:32:02,444 --> 00:32:03,510
I caught it, yeah.

795
00:32:03,512 --> 00:32:04,578
Hey, but like I said,

796
00:32:04,580 --> 00:32:06,512
you two are welcome to bunk
in the twins' room.

797
00:32:06,514 --> 00:32:09,648
[Tristan] Our room?
Why not your room?

798
00:32:09,650 --> 00:32:11,518
Because you two can sleep
on the couch tonight.

799
00:32:11,520 --> 00:32:12,552
Over.

800
00:32:12,554 --> 00:32:15,688
[Tray] Ever hear
of a Motel 6? Over.

801
00:32:15,690 --> 00:32:17,192
Ah. Hilarious.

802
00:32:18,224 --> 00:32:18,857
[Bob] I'm just gonna show you
to the room,

803
00:32:18,859 --> 00:32:20,760
hopefully, we won't get lost.

804
00:32:20,762 --> 00:32:22,398
[whispers]
Let's do this every month.

805
00:32:28,803 --> 00:32:30,403
Sorry, fellas.

806
00:32:30,405 --> 00:32:31,805
Sorry enough to go away?

807
00:32:31,807 --> 00:32:33,740
- Wow.
- [Tristan] The bed is small.

808
00:32:33,742 --> 00:32:35,375
If you're gonna do
any stuff in it,

809
00:32:35,377 --> 00:32:37,480
just wash the sheets after.

810
00:32:38,746 --> 00:32:39,812
Will do.

811
00:32:39,814 --> 00:32:42,581
It's gross.

812
00:32:42,583 --> 00:32:44,684
Are we talking about
the same thing?

813
00:32:44,686 --> 00:32:46,418
- I'm serious.
- I'm sure you are.

814
00:32:46,420 --> 00:32:47,921
- Do we have a problem?
- [Frank] I don't think so.

815
00:32:47,923 --> 00:32:49,755
Are we done now?

816
00:32:49,757 --> 00:32:51,790
Yeah, I think we're done.

817
00:32:51,792 --> 00:32:54,828
Did you know that you can hack
into baby monitors?

818
00:32:54,830 --> 00:32:56,596
We're teaching
our neighbor's baby

819
00:32:56,598 --> 00:32:57,931
how to say the N-word.

820
00:32:57,933 --> 00:32:59,165
[gasps]

821
00:32:59,167 --> 00:33:00,834
Uh, Nancy, would you join me
outside for a cigarette please?

822
00:33:00,836 --> 00:33:01,969
Please. Yeah.

823
00:33:01,971 --> 00:33:04,471
[Nancy] You understand now
what I was talking about?

824
00:33:04,473 --> 00:33:06,572
Except Oompa Loompas
are not on speed,

825
00:33:06,574 --> 00:33:09,041
- they are on angel dust.
- [lighter clicks]

826
00:33:09,043 --> 00:33:10,976
How did we get so lucky
with Rachel?

827
00:33:10,978 --> 00:33:12,979
Well, we communicated
with her directly,

828
00:33:12,981 --> 00:33:14,713
not through some CB Radio.

829
00:33:14,715 --> 00:33:16,619
Let's start there
and reverse engineer it.

830
00:33:19,053 --> 00:33:20,787
I was thinking,

831
00:33:20,789 --> 00:33:22,021
we rented Nigel's house to Carl

832
00:33:22,023 --> 00:33:23,656
but we had to move him over
to our house,

833
00:33:23,658 --> 00:33:26,292
which means that Nigel's house
is still empty.

834
00:33:26,294 --> 00:33:27,793
I say we rent
Nigel's house again...

835
00:33:27,795 --> 00:33:28,662
- Frank!
- ...only this time

836
00:33:28,664 --> 00:33:30,696
to somebody who isn't
a sex offender.

837
00:33:30,698 --> 00:33:34,000
Or, why don't we just
handcuff ourselves

838
00:33:34,002 --> 00:33:37,337
and walk straight
into the police station, Frank?

839
00:33:37,339 --> 00:33:39,071
This place is filled
with spider webs.

840
00:33:39,073 --> 00:33:40,706
Well, as you can see,
they don't clean.

841
00:33:40,708 --> 00:33:43,409
The original Craigslist ad
is still on my phone.

842
00:33:43,411 --> 00:33:45,044
I say we post it again.

843
00:33:45,046 --> 00:33:47,646
[Nancy] Are you not listening
to me, Frank?

844
00:33:47,648 --> 00:33:50,916
Absolutely no fucking way.

845
00:33:50,918 --> 00:33:52,685
This is where we draw the line.

846
00:33:52,687 --> 00:33:54,687
Baby, I don't know what's
on the other side of that line,

847
00:33:54,689 --> 00:33:56,423
but I do know what's
on this side of that line,

848
00:33:56,425 --> 00:33:57,890
and it is bleak.

849
00:33:57,892 --> 00:33:59,392
Okay, here's the original
Craigslist ad.

850
00:33:59,394 --> 00:34:00,559
- [Nancy] Don't you dare.
- We delete some

851
00:34:00,561 --> 00:34:02,695
of the bad words, I think
you were drunk at the time.

852
00:34:02,697 --> 00:34:04,697
I was drunk at the time?

853
00:34:04,699 --> 00:34:07,733
And it is done.

854
00:34:07,735 --> 00:34:09,335
You just posted it again?

855
00:34:09,337 --> 00:34:11,871
[Nancy yells]
Frank, you just smoked a spider!

856
00:34:11,873 --> 00:34:14,043
[retches]

857
00:34:15,777 --> 00:34:16,909
Give me the Heimlich!

858
00:34:16,911 --> 00:34:18,913
- [retches]
- [Nancy yelling]

859
00:34:20,549 --> 00:34:22,782
- [baby crying]
- [man shouts indistinctly]

860
00:34:22,784 --> 00:34:23,949
[man 1] What the hell
is going on?

861
00:34:23,951 --> 00:34:25,617
You woke up my baby!

862
00:34:25,619 --> 00:34:27,887
[Bob] Frank, I get it,
you smoked a spider.

863
00:34:27,889 --> 00:34:29,889
But can you keep it down?

864
00:34:29,891 --> 00:34:30,956
[Frank gags]

865
00:34:30,958 --> 00:34:32,294
Hit me in the back.

866
00:34:33,561 --> 00:34:34,964
[yelps]
Not with the...

867
00:34:36,931 --> 00:34:40,532
[man 1] Natalie, tell your kids
to stay off my baby monitor.

868
00:34:40,534 --> 00:34:42,701
[Bob] It's your fault
for having a baby monitor.

869
00:34:42,703 --> 00:34:44,036
It's an attractive nuisance.

870
00:34:44,038 --> 00:34:45,505
[Nancy] Oh! There it is.

871
00:34:45,507 --> 00:34:47,139
[shovel banging]

872
00:34:47,141 --> 00:34:48,808
[Nancy pants]

873
00:34:48,810 --> 00:34:51,076
Oh, Frank, are you okay?

874
00:34:51,078 --> 00:34:52,645
Do you want another cigarette?

875
00:34:52,647 --> 00:34:54,146
[Frank groans]

876
00:34:54,148 --> 00:34:55,884
- [Nancy] Are you all right baby?
- [Frank groans]

877
00:35:01,056 --> 00:35:04,060
[foreboding music]

878
00:35:16,638 --> 00:35:18,940
[imitates sobbing]

879
00:35:20,442 --> 00:35:21,907
Dad, come quick.

880
00:35:21,909 --> 00:35:23,946
Why is Uncle Frank
doing this to me?

881
00:35:26,647 --> 00:35:28,648
What the hell? Oh, my god!

882
00:35:28,650 --> 00:35:30,386
- Yes?
- Frank!

883
00:35:31,018 --> 00:35:33,018
- [sobs]
- My god!

884
00:35:33,020 --> 00:35:35,054
What is going on?

885
00:35:35,056 --> 00:35:37,623
Nancy, are... are you naked?

886
00:35:37,625 --> 00:35:39,893
No, I'm not naked. It's a shirt.

887
00:35:39,895 --> 00:35:41,795
[Betty] Tristan, what are those?

888
00:35:41,797 --> 00:35:44,831
It's Aunt Nancy's Spanx,
Uncle Frank made me wear them.

889
00:35:44,833 --> 00:35:45,898
Now stop this.

890
00:35:45,900 --> 00:35:47,000
- Frank, how could you?
- What?

891
00:35:47,002 --> 00:35:48,134
He's just a boy.

892
00:35:48,136 --> 00:35:49,636
I'm so scared right now.

893
00:35:49,638 --> 00:35:51,036
Oh, shit.

894
00:35:51,038 --> 00:35:52,605
Jesus Christ.

895
00:35:52,607 --> 00:35:53,873
Betty.

896
00:35:53,875 --> 00:35:56,041
[Tristan] She just stuck
her tongue out at me.

897
00:35:56,043 --> 00:35:59,114
- [Tristan sobbing]
- Frank, downstairs, now.

898
00:36:03,884 --> 00:36:05,087
Who are you?

899
00:36:10,125 --> 00:36:11,224
[Nancy] You know what, Frank?

900
00:36:11,226 --> 00:36:14,793
It's not pleasant to be mistaken
for a sex offender,

901
00:36:14,795 --> 00:36:19,199
and molesting your nephew
in less than 24 hours.

902
00:36:19,201 --> 00:36:21,099
But right now,

903
00:36:21,101 --> 00:36:22,902
I feel sorry for my sister.

904
00:36:22,904 --> 00:36:25,804
I am actually
really worried for her.

905
00:36:25,806 --> 00:36:27,507
As you should be.

906
00:36:27,509 --> 00:36:30,009
Pretty soon,
some court-appointed therapist

907
00:36:30,011 --> 00:36:31,746
is gonna be white knuckling
with those two kids.

908
00:36:33,147 --> 00:36:34,681
I see that your sister
calmed down enough

909
00:36:34,683 --> 00:36:35,815
to lend you her wig, huh?

910
00:36:35,817 --> 00:36:39,117
Oh, yeah, I don't know
whose wig it is in that house.

911
00:36:39,119 --> 00:36:41,022
[Frank] Well, it helps us hide
from the kidnappers.

912
00:36:42,623 --> 00:36:44,157
[Frank] Hey, are you Wayne,
the guy that answered the ad?

913
00:36:44,159 --> 00:36:45,224
Yeah, yeah.

914
00:36:45,226 --> 00:36:46,726
- I'm Frank.
- Yeah. What are you two,

915
00:36:46,728 --> 00:36:47,893
in the witness
protection program?

916
00:36:47,895 --> 00:36:49,862
Uh, no, we were just sunning
ourselves in the backyard.

917
00:36:49,864 --> 00:36:51,130
- Is that your truck, Wayne?
- [Wayne] Yeah.

918
00:36:51,132 --> 00:36:52,165
[Frank] Oh, that's fantastic.
Step inside

919
00:36:52,167 --> 00:36:54,002
and we'll just take a look
at the house, okay?

920
00:36:58,072 --> 00:37:00,273
The ad said, uh,
the house comes furnished.

921
00:37:00,275 --> 00:37:03,041
Uh, yup. It only needs
a mattress. Long story.

922
00:37:03,043 --> 00:37:04,576
The previous tenant took it.

923
00:37:04,578 --> 00:37:05,645
Short story.

924
00:37:05,647 --> 00:37:08,681
Okay, then. I wrote you a check.

925
00:37:08,683 --> 00:37:10,817
You, uh, that's it? You don't
wanna have a look around?

926
00:37:10,819 --> 00:37:13,085
Listen, not to be an asshole.
You wanna rent the place or not?

927
00:37:13,087 --> 00:37:15,054
I mean, I got shit tons
of stuff to do.

928
00:37:15,056 --> 00:37:17,757
Yes, uh, no, uh, sure.

929
00:37:17,759 --> 00:37:19,291
It's just that normally
there's a process.

930
00:37:19,293 --> 00:37:21,293
We learned the hard way
to ask questions.

931
00:37:21,295 --> 00:37:22,561
[crackling noise]

932
00:37:22,563 --> 00:37:24,697
Did you hear that?

933
00:37:24,699 --> 00:37:26,101
- [crackling noise]
- What's that?

934
00:37:27,302 --> 00:37:28,567
Good lord.

935
00:37:28,569 --> 00:37:29,469
Oh, there's something
on my face.

936
00:37:29,471 --> 00:37:31,971
No, don't touch your face!
Don't panic.

937
00:37:31,973 --> 00:37:33,706
You're covered in spiders.

938
00:37:33,708 --> 00:37:35,041
Jesus, baby don't move!

939
00:37:35,043 --> 00:37:36,245
[screams]

940
00:37:37,244 --> 00:37:39,244
Ah! They're crawling in my body!

941
00:37:39,246 --> 00:37:40,179
[Frank] Hey, come here.
Come here.

942
00:37:40,181 --> 00:37:42,949
Frank, you saw them!
Get them, get them!

943
00:37:42,951 --> 00:37:45,117
They're biting me,
they're biting me!

944
00:37:45,119 --> 00:37:46,786
[screams]

945
00:37:46,788 --> 00:37:49,322
They're biting me!
Ah! Get the Spanx!

946
00:37:49,324 --> 00:37:51,590
Get the Spanx! Get 'em!

947
00:37:51,592 --> 00:37:52,858
[screams]

948
00:37:52,860 --> 00:37:55,128
[sobbing]

949
00:37:55,130 --> 00:37:57,130
Take them out!
[screaming]

950
00:37:57,132 --> 00:37:58,267
[Frank grunts]

951
00:38:00,335 --> 00:38:01,967
Let's go to the hospital!

952
00:38:01,969 --> 00:38:03,869
Take me to the hospital!

953
00:38:03,871 --> 00:38:05,040
[Nancy screams]

954
00:38:06,107 --> 00:38:07,576
Get my Spanx!

955
00:38:10,344 --> 00:38:11,844
[Nancy] Oh, my god.

956
00:38:11,846 --> 00:38:13,179
Oh, my god, I'm burning!

957
00:38:13,181 --> 00:38:15,148
[indistinct shouting]

958
00:38:15,150 --> 00:38:16,016
- [tires screech]
- [engine revs]

959
00:38:16,018 --> 00:38:17,884
[Nancy] Oh, Frank,
what have I done?

960
00:38:17,886 --> 00:38:19,018
Tell my Rachel I love her.

961
00:38:19,020 --> 00:38:20,853
[Frank] You're not gonna die,
you're not gonna die.

962
00:38:20,855 --> 00:38:22,654
You hear me? Woah! Woah!

963
00:38:22,656 --> 00:38:24,724
Stop scratching yourself,
don't antagonize it,

964
00:38:24,726 --> 00:38:25,824
for god sake's.

965
00:38:25,826 --> 00:38:27,159
Nancy, you're gonna be fine,

966
00:38:27,161 --> 00:38:28,795
the doctors will give you
an ointment.

967
00:38:28,797 --> 00:38:30,096
Look, I'm steering the wheel.
Hold on, hold on.

968
00:38:30,098 --> 00:38:31,598
- [car honks]
- [Frank] God I hate spiders,

969
00:38:31,600 --> 00:38:32,799
don't you?
Wait, there's another one.

970
00:38:32,801 --> 00:38:34,333
- [car honks]
- [Frank] Whoa!

971
00:38:34,335 --> 00:38:36,772
["River Gone Wild"
by Rick Boston playing]

972
00:38:48,315 --> 00:38:51,050
♪ Kickin' up a storm
Black clouds of gray ♪

973
00:38:51,052 --> 00:38:53,853
♪ Interstate 40's
Backing up fast ♪

974
00:38:53,855 --> 00:38:56,788
♪ Look to the east
No relief in sight ♪

975
00:38:56,790 --> 00:38:59,391
♪ Pull yourself together
'Cause I gather we might ♪

976
00:38:59,393 --> 00:39:02,228
♪ The river's gone wild ♪

977
00:39:02,230 --> 00:39:04,166
♪ The river's gone wild ♪

978
00:39:05,065 --> 00:39:06,898
[siren wailing]

979
00:39:06,900 --> 00:39:08,603
[clipper buzzing]

980
00:39:13,674 --> 00:39:14,741
Oh!

981
00:39:14,743 --> 00:39:16,241
[laughs]

982
00:39:16,243 --> 00:39:18,710
- Tyler, how are you?
- [chuckles]

983
00:39:18,712 --> 00:39:20,279
Uh, Frank, how are you?

984
00:39:20,281 --> 00:39:21,913
I'm on the right side
of the grass my man,

985
00:39:21,915 --> 00:39:23,983
what's the haps?

986
00:39:23,985 --> 00:39:26,686
No offense Frank,
but how did you get in here?

987
00:39:26,688 --> 00:39:29,221
This is a restricted
access garage.

988
00:39:29,223 --> 00:39:31,657
Well, I still have
my Jensen parking pass,

989
00:39:31,659 --> 00:39:34,862
and I have an interview today
up on 16 with, uh, Gretina.

990
00:39:36,331 --> 00:39:38,167
Gretina's not
on 16 anymore, Frank.

991
00:39:39,000 --> 00:39:40,233
What floor are they on?

992
00:39:40,235 --> 00:39:41,704
[Tyler] They moved to Seattle.

993
00:39:43,404 --> 00:39:44,971
[laughs]
Well, don't remind me,

994
00:39:44,973 --> 00:39:46,105
'cause I'm dying
for a Starbucks,

995
00:39:46,107 --> 00:39:48,007
but the meeting is on Skype.

996
00:39:48,009 --> 00:39:50,212
I'm gonna Skype to uh, Seattle.

997
00:39:53,748 --> 00:39:54,947
Oh, don't, don't.

998
00:39:54,949 --> 00:39:56,916
Don't Tyler,
don't give me that look.

999
00:39:56,918 --> 00:39:58,287
I know that look. Please.

1000
00:40:00,355 --> 00:40:02,422
Everything's fine.
Everything with us is okay.

1001
00:40:02,424 --> 00:40:03,357
Oh, honey,

1002
00:40:03,359 --> 00:40:05,724
you remember Tyler Rector
from Jensen Med?

1003
00:40:05,726 --> 00:40:06,793
Baby, can you hear me?

1004
00:40:06,795 --> 00:40:08,097
[indistinct yelling]

1005
00:40:15,869 --> 00:40:16,871
How can I help?

1006
00:40:18,873 --> 00:40:20,405
[Frank] So that's
the long and short.

1007
00:40:20,407 --> 00:40:23,809
But the, uh, silver lining
is that at least for now,

1008
00:40:23,811 --> 00:40:25,712
uh, we don't have to worry
about Rachel's college.

1009
00:40:25,714 --> 00:40:26,882
But, we're homeless.

1010
00:40:28,482 --> 00:40:32,317
Wow, that's, uh,
that's quite a story.

1011
00:40:32,319 --> 00:40:34,954
So all this started
with one mistake?

1012
00:40:34,956 --> 00:40:37,889
[Nancy] With a bunch
of smaller ones shooting off it.

1013
00:40:37,891 --> 00:40:41,828
Kind of like when
a spider egg pops,

1014
00:40:41,830 --> 00:40:44,297
and all these little spiders

1015
00:40:44,299 --> 00:40:46,933
come and bite you in the ass.

1016
00:40:46,935 --> 00:40:48,270
Are you gonna eat that?

1017
00:40:48,936 --> 00:40:50,406
Mm. No, please.

1018
00:40:51,072 --> 00:40:52,074
Thank you.

1019
00:40:53,340 --> 00:40:55,174
Listen, guys.

1020
00:40:55,176 --> 00:40:57,375
I know someone.
His name's Randall.

1021
00:40:57,377 --> 00:41:00,378
Let me give him a call, Frank.
He might have something for you.

1022
00:41:00,380 --> 00:41:01,514
It'd be a start.

1023
00:41:01,516 --> 00:41:03,014
[Frank] Tyler,
that would be great.

1024
00:41:03,016 --> 00:41:06,085
And we also still have
Wayne's check.

1025
00:41:06,087 --> 00:41:08,420
We can always, uh, cash that.

1026
00:41:08,422 --> 00:41:11,924
Frank, if you cash that check,
then it's no longer one mistake.

1027
00:41:11,926 --> 00:41:13,025
It becomes a pattern.

1028
00:41:13,027 --> 00:41:14,326
[Nancy] Exactly.

1029
00:41:14,328 --> 00:41:16,395
That's what I've been trying
to tell him.

1030
00:41:16,397 --> 00:41:19,364
But, Tyler,
desperation is a bitch.

1031
00:41:19,366 --> 00:41:21,199
Thank you so much

1032
00:41:21,201 --> 00:41:24,237
for everything
that you've done to help us.

1033
00:41:24,239 --> 00:41:27,340
So, you guys have your work
cut out for you.

1034
00:41:27,342 --> 00:41:30,946
Just remember, grass can grow
through concrete.

1035
00:41:32,212 --> 00:41:35,447
Did he say your ass
can grow through...

1036
00:41:35,449 --> 00:41:37,315
No, no, no.
No, no, look, the phrase is,

1037
00:41:37,317 --> 00:41:40,920
"Grass can grow
through concrete."

1038
00:41:40,922 --> 00:41:43,355
Can I give you that, please?
Do you mind if I?

1039
00:41:43,357 --> 00:41:44,426
Thank you.

1040
00:41:45,192 --> 00:41:48,196
[upbeat music]

1041
00:41:49,563 --> 00:41:52,000
[Nancy] Nancy,
you're gonna be all right.

1042
00:41:53,467 --> 00:41:54,902
- [screams]
- [tires screech]

1043
00:41:55,335 --> 00:41:56,402
[sighs]

1044
00:41:56,404 --> 00:41:58,471
Don't panic, Nancy.

1045
00:41:58,473 --> 00:42:00,873
You're gonna take a hot bath.

1046
00:42:00,875 --> 00:42:02,474
You're gonna get fresh clothes,

1047
00:42:02,476 --> 00:42:04,811
you're gonna do your hair
and makeup.

1048
00:42:04,813 --> 00:42:06,478
You're three minutes
from being yourself.

1049
00:42:06,480 --> 00:42:09,415
- [tires screech]
- [Nancy] What the fuck?

1050
00:42:09,417 --> 00:42:11,384
Uh, thank you
for taking this lunch,

1051
00:42:11,386 --> 00:42:13,286
- I know you're busy.
- [Randall] No, of course.

1052
00:42:13,288 --> 00:42:14,253
Tyler called me,

1053
00:42:14,255 --> 00:42:15,355
told me a little bit
about your background.

1054
00:42:15,357 --> 00:42:17,523
Well, I hope he exaggerated
in all the right places.

1055
00:42:17,525 --> 00:42:20,058
- [laughs]
- [cell phone ringing]

1056
00:42:20,060 --> 00:42:22,128
- That's my wife, I'm sorry.
- [cell phone beeps]

1057
00:42:22,130 --> 00:42:24,496
- Hi, honey.
- Damn it, Frank. We're cursed.

1058
00:42:24,498 --> 00:42:28,034
I am at Nigel's house,
and everything is gone.

1059
00:42:28,036 --> 00:42:32,204
[Nancy] They took my purse,
my phone, Nigel's furniture.

1060
00:42:32,206 --> 00:42:36,275
That guy Wayne was all wrong,
and we knew it.

1061
00:42:36,277 --> 00:42:39,311
Oh, fuck it,
they stole everything!

1062
00:42:39,313 --> 00:42:42,315
I see, uh... That's, uh, yes.

1063
00:42:42,317 --> 00:42:44,016
[stutters]
That's great.

1064
00:42:44,018 --> 00:42:46,384
Thanks for calling,
and we'll celebrate later, okay?

1065
00:42:46,386 --> 00:42:47,887
- I'll see you. Bye.
- [Nancy] No, don't hang up.

1066
00:42:47,889 --> 00:42:49,322
Don't hang up!

1067
00:42:49,324 --> 00:42:51,456
- You okay?
- Uh, yeah, it's all good.

1068
00:42:51,458 --> 00:42:54,427
My wife just got an article
published in, um...

1069
00:42:54,429 --> 00:42:55,831
Omni magazine.

1070
00:42:56,464 --> 00:42:57,697
Great.

1071
00:42:57,699 --> 00:43:00,269
Omni must be feeling good too.
Be back up and running.

1072
00:43:01,002 --> 00:43:02,067
I'm sorry?

1073
00:43:02,069 --> 00:43:04,172
They folded
about two decades ago.

1074
00:43:05,272 --> 00:43:07,105
Wow.
[laughs]

1075
00:43:07,107 --> 00:43:10,375
Man plans and God laughs, right?
I mean...

1076
00:43:10,377 --> 00:43:12,578
Everybody's got a plan
until you get...

1077
00:43:12,580 --> 00:43:14,313
punched in the face.

1078
00:43:14,315 --> 00:43:17,183
Jesus. Sorry, uh, Frank.

1079
00:43:17,185 --> 00:43:18,384
Uh, I'm sorry. I...

1080
00:43:18,386 --> 00:43:20,987
No, no. I'm Frank, you're...

1081
00:43:20,989 --> 00:43:22,054
- Randall.
- [Randall] Randall.

1082
00:43:22,056 --> 00:43:23,956
Right. Uh, I'm sorry.

1083
00:43:23,958 --> 00:43:25,226
Uh, can we start over again?

1084
00:43:25,592 --> 00:43:26,594
Sure.

1085
00:43:28,663 --> 00:43:30,395
Hi, I'm Frank.

1086
00:43:30,397 --> 00:43:33,401
[foreboding music]

1087
00:43:39,607 --> 00:43:41,076
[clacking]

1088
00:43:42,176 --> 00:43:43,244
[keys jingle]

1089
00:43:49,016 --> 00:43:50,585
[clacking]

1090
00:43:51,552 --> 00:43:53,219
[grunts]
For god's sake!

1091
00:43:53,221 --> 00:43:56,123
Carl, I just need to get
a few things.

1092
00:43:56,991 --> 00:43:58,126
[sighs]

1093
00:44:11,706 --> 00:44:14,343
- [banging]
- [Nancy grunting]

1094
00:44:17,679 --> 00:44:19,081
[crashes]

1095
00:44:19,980 --> 00:44:21,616
[Nancy whimpers]

1096
00:44:22,150 --> 00:44:23,151
[grunts]

1097
00:44:26,321 --> 00:44:28,123
[groans]
Oh, my god.

1098
00:44:30,525 --> 00:44:32,625
You come in my house,
you come in my house.

1099
00:44:32,627 --> 00:44:34,460
You like that?
You like that, bitch?

1100
00:44:34,462 --> 00:44:36,264
[screaming]

1101
00:44:37,699 --> 00:44:40,498
[Carl] Is that Nancy? Ah!

1102
00:44:40,500 --> 00:44:44,103
I'm sorry, my gosh,
did you change your hair?

1103
00:44:44,105 --> 00:44:48,040
[club dance music]

1104
00:44:48,042 --> 00:44:49,608
[Carl] I'm so sorry
about the pepper spray,

1105
00:44:49,610 --> 00:44:51,444
I thought you were an intruder.

1106
00:44:51,446 --> 00:44:53,112
Not that you look like
an intruder.

1107
00:44:53,114 --> 00:44:54,246
I'm against profiling,

1108
00:44:54,248 --> 00:44:57,315
not that I necessarily
would want sushi from a redhead,

1109
00:44:57,317 --> 00:45:01,420
I prefer an Asian child,
if you know what I mean.

1110
00:45:01,422 --> 00:45:03,355
Why didn't my key work?

1111
00:45:03,357 --> 00:45:05,590
I had the locks changed.

1112
00:45:05,592 --> 00:45:06,659
[Nancy] You what?

1113
00:45:06,661 --> 00:45:08,561
You can't change our locks.

1114
00:45:08,563 --> 00:45:11,429
- Carl?
- Oh, uh, um...

1115
00:45:11,431 --> 00:45:13,199
This is not your house, Carl.

1116
00:45:13,201 --> 00:45:14,699
Um, I... Look...

1117
00:45:14,701 --> 00:45:16,402
[Nancy] What are you wearing?

1118
00:45:16,404 --> 00:45:18,036
What, this?

1119
00:45:18,038 --> 00:45:20,641
You know what, I, uh,
I got you guys a key.

1120
00:45:21,308 --> 00:45:22,474
Um.

1121
00:45:22,476 --> 00:45:24,677
- Uh, there you go.
- [jingling]

1122
00:45:24,679 --> 00:45:25,677
What the...

1123
00:45:25,679 --> 00:45:28,313
[Carl] The wood's
so you don't misplace it.

1124
00:45:28,315 --> 00:45:30,081
[Nancy] Carl.

1125
00:45:30,083 --> 00:45:32,150
This is not a gas station.

1126
00:45:32,152 --> 00:45:34,085
What is wrong with you?

1127
00:45:34,087 --> 00:45:36,188
You know, whatever.

1128
00:45:36,190 --> 00:45:38,659
I just need to get some stuff
from my closet.

1129
00:45:40,261 --> 00:45:41,362
Your closet?

1130
00:45:43,531 --> 00:45:45,398
What... what is this?

1131
00:45:45,400 --> 00:45:47,299
- I mean, what is this?
- [clanking]

1132
00:45:47,301 --> 00:45:48,400
Where's my stuff?

1133
00:45:48,402 --> 00:45:50,268
What have you done
with my closet?

1134
00:45:50,270 --> 00:45:52,070
I made it into a panic room.

1135
00:45:52,072 --> 00:45:54,040
You can't do that, Carl.

1136
00:45:54,042 --> 00:45:55,775
Remember, this is not
your house.

1137
00:45:55,777 --> 00:45:57,675
Did you ever see
the Jody Foster movie?

1138
00:45:57,677 --> 00:45:59,612
And please put a shirt on.

1139
00:45:59,614 --> 00:46:03,248
[stammers]
I've been really nervous lately.

1140
00:46:03,250 --> 00:46:05,483
Uh, people have been ringing
the doorbell all day

1141
00:46:05,485 --> 00:46:07,485
asking about
the yard sale and, uh,

1142
00:46:07,487 --> 00:46:10,155
and then I was really scared
when I saw the...

1143
00:46:10,157 --> 00:46:12,358
the video on the internet
of you and Frank

1144
00:46:12,360 --> 00:46:14,393
being kidnapped with a shotgun.

1145
00:46:14,395 --> 00:46:15,728
There's a video on the internet?

1146
00:46:15,730 --> 00:46:17,195
Nancy,
you're the best part of it.

1147
00:46:17,197 --> 00:46:18,764
You came across really real.

1148
00:46:18,766 --> 00:46:22,134
I was real, you dumb fuck.

1149
00:46:22,136 --> 00:46:24,136
[lock clicks and beeps]

1150
00:46:24,138 --> 00:46:25,741
Uh, we're locked in.

1151
00:46:26,773 --> 00:46:28,541
Did you say,

1152
00:46:28,543 --> 00:46:31,543
"catalytic converters"?

1153
00:46:31,545 --> 00:46:33,846
Frank, I know it's not
a sexy business,

1154
00:46:33,848 --> 00:46:37,183
but catalytic converters
are like mini treasure chests.

1155
00:46:37,185 --> 00:46:38,284
We snip them off the cars,

1156
00:46:38,286 --> 00:46:41,186
smelt them down and sell off
the expensive metals.

1157
00:46:41,188 --> 00:46:43,855
Palladium, rhodium, platinum.

1158
00:46:43,857 --> 00:46:45,791
Most cases,
cat cons are worth more

1159
00:46:45,793 --> 00:46:47,226
than the junk cars themselves.

1160
00:46:47,228 --> 00:46:48,761
[chuckles]

1161
00:46:48,763 --> 00:46:52,130
You mean I would crawl
underneath the car

1162
00:46:52,132 --> 00:46:54,099
and snip them?

1163
00:46:54,101 --> 00:46:55,237
That's... that's the job?

1164
00:46:56,103 --> 00:46:57,203
[clicks tongue]

1165
00:46:57,205 --> 00:46:59,672
Listen, Frank.
I'm gonna be honest.

1166
00:46:59,674 --> 00:47:03,342
I could use the extra hand
but I don't need the extra hand.

1167
00:47:03,344 --> 00:47:05,311
Tyler told me
you needed a leg up,

1168
00:47:05,313 --> 00:47:06,378
this is what I got.

1169
00:47:06,380 --> 00:47:09,681
- [Nancy grunting]
- I'm really glad you're here.

1170
00:47:09,683 --> 00:47:10,815
Me gusta.

1171
00:47:10,817 --> 00:47:12,717
- [shrieks]
- [groans]

1172
00:47:12,719 --> 00:47:15,654
[groans]
Oh, jeez. That was...

1173
00:47:15,656 --> 00:47:17,489
[grunts]

1174
00:47:17,491 --> 00:47:18,425
That was...

1175
00:47:18,427 --> 00:47:21,494
If you ever try
anything like that again,

1176
00:47:21,496 --> 00:47:23,228
I am gonna kick your ass

1177
00:47:23,230 --> 00:47:26,467
up and down this panic room
like an air hockey puck!

1178
00:47:27,435 --> 00:47:28,666
- Oh, okay.
- [sighs]

1179
00:47:28,668 --> 00:47:29,768
[groans]

1180
00:47:29,770 --> 00:47:32,170
[laughs]

1181
00:47:32,172 --> 00:47:34,340
Thank you,
Virgincita de Guadalupe

1182
00:47:34,342 --> 00:47:37,813
for making Carl
such a breathtaking moron.

1183
00:47:39,714 --> 00:47:42,417
You forgot about
the attic hatch,

1184
00:47:42,917 --> 00:47:45,217
Einstein.

1185
00:47:45,219 --> 00:47:47,556
Uh. Hey, I...
I'm sorry about the...

1186
00:47:48,422 --> 00:47:49,587
misunderstanding.

1187
00:47:49,589 --> 00:47:52,190
I guess I misread your signals.

1188
00:47:52,192 --> 00:47:53,458
What signals?

1189
00:47:53,460 --> 00:47:56,395
God, your legs are so strong.

1190
00:47:56,397 --> 00:47:58,329
I guess it's
from running track, huh?

1191
00:47:58,331 --> 00:47:59,632
I saw your medals.

1192
00:47:59,634 --> 00:48:01,300
How did you find my medals?

1193
00:48:01,302 --> 00:48:02,800
They were hidden in the garage.

1194
00:48:02,802 --> 00:48:04,402
[Carl] Yeah, way back there.

1195
00:48:04,404 --> 00:48:06,237
And you should really
hide them better.

1196
00:48:06,239 --> 00:48:07,873
But you were the fastest
on the team,

1197
00:48:07,875 --> 00:48:09,641
but what I don't understand is,

1198
00:48:09,643 --> 00:48:11,809
in the relay,
why did you run fourth?

1199
00:48:11,811 --> 00:48:13,945
Shouldn't the fastest runner
go first?

1200
00:48:13,947 --> 00:48:15,614
Maybe you weren't the fastest.

1201
00:48:15,616 --> 00:48:17,683
I was the fastest.

1202
00:48:17,685 --> 00:48:19,317
That's not the way it works.

1203
00:48:19,319 --> 00:48:21,587
When you're the fastest, you...

1204
00:48:21,589 --> 00:48:23,889
Oh, what am I doing,
why am I talking to you?

1205
00:48:23,891 --> 00:48:26,491
Please help me out.

1206
00:48:26,493 --> 00:48:28,494
Uh, the bottom line is,
I'm interested.

1207
00:48:28,496 --> 00:48:30,695
And, uh, I... I work hard,

1208
00:48:30,697 --> 00:48:33,734
and I take any job I do,
uh, very seriously.

1209
00:48:34,435 --> 00:48:36,235
Okay.

1210
00:48:36,237 --> 00:48:38,404
Here comes the cold water.
[inhales deeply]

1211
00:48:38,406 --> 00:48:39,804
We can only offer you

1212
00:48:39,806 --> 00:48:41,607
about a third
of what you were making.

1213
00:48:41,609 --> 00:48:43,541
Tyler told me
your ballpark salary.

1214
00:48:43,543 --> 00:48:45,677
You did very, very well.

1215
00:48:45,679 --> 00:48:46,714
A third?

1216
00:48:47,681 --> 00:48:49,315
Listen, I wish it was different.

1217
00:48:49,317 --> 00:48:50,715
I used to make
high-end five figures

1218
00:48:50,717 --> 00:48:52,951
over at Brent Talbot,
then the fan hit the shit.

1219
00:48:52,953 --> 00:48:56,355
Now, I got a sales staff
of guys longing for the days

1220
00:48:56,357 --> 00:48:57,456
of Hugo Boss suits

1221
00:48:57,458 --> 00:48:59,991
and paychecks
with commas in them.

1222
00:48:59,993 --> 00:49:02,228
Frank, you think I like crawling
around in the dirt

1223
00:49:02,230 --> 00:49:03,561
snipping smoke sacks?

1224
00:49:03,563 --> 00:49:04,697
[scoffs]
Shit.

1225
00:49:04,699 --> 00:49:07,465
Some days I look at one of those
cat cons and think...

1226
00:49:07,467 --> 00:49:09,634
I'll just wrap my lips
around it,

1227
00:49:09,636 --> 00:49:12,273
take a deep breath,
go meet some dead relatives.

1228
00:49:12,839 --> 00:49:14,005
How old are you?

1229
00:49:14,007 --> 00:49:16,275
- Sixty-five?
- [laughs]

1230
00:49:16,277 --> 00:49:17,610
Sixty-six?

1231
00:49:17,612 --> 00:49:18,811
Anyways.

1232
00:49:18,813 --> 00:49:22,348
Guys your age,
you gotta adapt or die.

1233
00:49:22,350 --> 00:49:24,483
That's the new America.
Trust me.

1234
00:49:24,485 --> 00:49:25,720
I miss the old one, brother.

1235
00:49:27,587 --> 00:49:29,420
[clicks tongue]
Uh, will you excuse me?

1236
00:49:29,422 --> 00:49:31,357
I... I'm...

1237
00:49:31,359 --> 00:49:33,360
fairly positive
I need to use the bathroom.

1238
00:49:34,694 --> 00:49:36,395
[Nancy] Get your hands
off my ass.

1239
00:49:36,397 --> 00:49:37,529
You said push.

1240
00:49:37,531 --> 00:49:39,398
[Nancy] I said push, not fondle.

1241
00:49:39,400 --> 00:49:40,532
Watch the thumb.

1242
00:49:40,534 --> 00:49:42,768
[stutters]
Do you do squats?

1243
00:49:42,770 --> 00:49:44,406
It feels like you do squats.

1244
00:49:45,639 --> 00:49:46,771
[Carl groans]

1245
00:49:46,773 --> 00:49:48,273
- [Nancy grunts]
- [Carl] You made it.

1246
00:49:48,275 --> 00:49:49,708
Now, lift me up.

1247
00:49:49,710 --> 00:49:51,809
[grunts]
I get claustrophobic.

1248
00:49:51,811 --> 00:49:54,045
No, no.

1249
00:49:54,047 --> 00:49:56,315
First you have to tell me
what you did.

1250
00:49:56,317 --> 00:49:58,483
And no lies, no bullshit.

1251
00:49:58,485 --> 00:50:00,819
You have to tell me,
or I'll leave you there.

1252
00:50:00,821 --> 00:50:01,753
You'll rot.

1253
00:50:01,755 --> 00:50:04,523
And I'll just come
and sprinkle some lime

1254
00:50:04,525 --> 00:50:05,860
just to mask the smell.

1255
00:50:06,694 --> 00:50:07,696
I...
[sighs]

1256
00:50:08,362 --> 00:50:09,364
You...

1257
00:50:10,063 --> 00:50:11,699
you might not understand.

1258
00:50:12,799 --> 00:50:14,565
True.

1259
00:50:14,567 --> 00:50:15,903
It's a roll of the dice.

1260
00:50:19,706 --> 00:50:21,009
[sighs]

1261
00:50:22,476 --> 00:50:24,543
I was swimming in the ocean,

1262
00:50:24,545 --> 00:50:26,445
I was in the water
for a couple hours.

1263
00:50:26,447 --> 00:50:28,646
I...

1264
00:50:28,648 --> 00:50:32,617
I had to pee,
I took off my shorts,

1265
00:50:32,619 --> 00:50:35,020
then I felt something
brush against my leg.

1266
00:50:35,022 --> 00:50:38,424
I knew it was a shark.
I knew in that moment,

1267
00:50:38,426 --> 00:50:40,761
and I know it to this day
it was a shark, and...

1268
00:50:41,761 --> 00:50:43,561
[sighs]

1269
00:50:43,563 --> 00:50:45,697
I started swimming to shore,

1270
00:50:45,699 --> 00:50:47,733
trying not to panic.

1271
00:50:47,735 --> 00:50:50,034
I saw that there were some kids

1272
00:50:50,036 --> 00:50:51,936
swimming there and...

1273
00:50:51,938 --> 00:50:54,440
So I was carrying three of them,

1274
00:50:54,442 --> 00:50:58,110
trudging and tripping
and yelling for help.

1275
00:50:58,112 --> 00:50:59,378
The kids were screaming,

1276
00:50:59,380 --> 00:51:01,846
I thought they had seen
the shark.

1277
00:51:01,848 --> 00:51:03,584
They hadn't, they, um...

1278
00:51:05,118 --> 00:51:08,455
they were frightened of me,
a naked guy.

1279
00:51:09,757 --> 00:51:10,959
Yeah. My life...

1280
00:51:11,592 --> 00:51:13,025
[laughs]

1281
00:51:13,027 --> 00:51:15,063
[sighs]
...got pretty hard after that.

1282
00:51:17,732 --> 00:51:18,933
It's true, isn't it?

1283
00:51:21,502 --> 00:51:22,570
Yeah.

1284
00:51:23,971 --> 00:51:25,670
It is.

1285
00:51:25,672 --> 00:51:27,408
You say all these

1286
00:51:28,007 --> 00:51:31,509
crazy stupid things.

1287
00:51:31,511 --> 00:51:34,615
But when you suddenly say
something without bullshit,

1288
00:51:35,850 --> 00:51:38,416
now I know it's true and good.

1289
00:51:38,418 --> 00:51:40,953
But just in case,
I'm gonna leave you there

1290
00:51:40,955 --> 00:51:42,621
until after I take my shower.

1291
00:51:42,623 --> 00:51:45,023
Oh, you know what,
there's some, uh...

1292
00:51:45,025 --> 00:51:47,692
shampoo in my purse
on the kitchen counter.

1293
00:51:47,694 --> 00:51:50,462
Oh, I... I refilled
your birth control pills.

1294
00:51:50,464 --> 00:51:51,864
You were running low.

1295
00:51:51,866 --> 00:51:52,867
Ha!

1296
00:51:54,601 --> 00:51:55,837
[truck horn blows]

1297
00:51:57,003 --> 00:51:59,438
No, no, no.

1298
00:51:59,440 --> 00:52:00,508
No! No! No!

1299
00:52:01,609 --> 00:52:04,612
[upbeat music]

1300
00:52:20,795 --> 00:52:21,963
[muffled screams]

1301
00:52:24,665 --> 00:52:26,764
[man 1] All you perverts
out there watching,

1302
00:52:26,766 --> 00:52:28,900
this might happen to you.

1303
00:52:28,902 --> 00:52:30,802
[gunshots]

1304
00:52:30,804 --> 00:52:32,603
You might die!

1305
00:52:32,605 --> 00:52:33,572
What the?

1306
00:52:33,574 --> 00:52:35,940
Holy shit, it's him.
The guy from the video!

1307
00:52:35,942 --> 00:52:37,675
- No, this is a mistake.
- [gunshot]

1308
00:52:37,677 --> 00:52:38,677
[man 2] Die!

1309
00:52:38,679 --> 00:52:40,645
Dude, you're like the number one
trending pervert

1310
00:52:40,647 --> 00:52:41,813
on the internet right now.

1311
00:52:41,815 --> 00:52:44,650
My god, why is this happening?

1312
00:52:44,652 --> 00:52:47,688
[upbeat music]

1313
00:52:52,058 --> 00:52:53,694
- [tires screech]
- [horn honks]

1314
00:52:57,498 --> 00:52:58,733
- [Frank] Stop!
- [banging on truck]

1315
00:52:59,732 --> 00:53:00,799
Stop the truck, Wayne.

1316
00:53:00,801 --> 00:53:02,099
Shit, you again?

1317
00:53:02,101 --> 00:53:03,067
You have my furniture.

1318
00:53:03,069 --> 00:53:05,704
Oh, it's not yours,
that house wasn't yours,

1319
00:53:05,706 --> 00:53:07,639
and the furniture
definitely wasn't yours.

1320
00:53:07,641 --> 00:53:09,141
Pull over, Wayne,
I need that furniture.

1321
00:53:09,143 --> 00:53:10,175
You know what you gonna need?

1322
00:53:10,177 --> 00:53:12,076
You're have a need
to go to a fucking hospital,

1323
00:53:12,078 --> 00:53:13,478
that's what you're gonna need.

1324
00:53:13,480 --> 00:53:14,846
I'm gonna put you
in jail, Wayne.

1325
00:53:14,848 --> 00:53:17,248
Oh, you don't have the balls
to call the cops.

1326
00:53:17,250 --> 00:53:19,851
Fuckin', you suck
at this crime stuff.

1327
00:53:19,853 --> 00:53:20,985
You know what I'm gonna do,

1328
00:53:20,987 --> 00:53:22,855
- Wayne?
- Oh, you ain't gonna do shit.

1329
00:53:22,857 --> 00:53:24,956
I'm gonna throw a rock at you.
I pitched in college.

1330
00:53:24,958 --> 00:53:28,462
Oh, you probably caught
in college. Dickhead.

1331
00:53:30,531 --> 00:53:31,596
Oh, shit.

1332
00:53:31,598 --> 00:53:33,834
Argh! Son of a bitch.

1333
00:53:35,168 --> 00:53:36,235
[honking]

1334
00:53:36,237 --> 00:53:37,503
[Wayne grunts]

1335
00:53:37,505 --> 00:53:38,570
[groans]

1336
00:53:38,572 --> 00:53:39,871
- [Wayne] Shit!
- [driver] Holy shit,

1337
00:53:39,873 --> 00:53:40,973
- are you okay?
- What the fuck?

1338
00:53:40,975 --> 00:53:43,041
- You hit a fucking pedestrian!
- [bike bell chimes]

1339
00:53:43,043 --> 00:53:44,579
- [thuds]
- [both grunt]

1340
00:53:45,813 --> 00:53:48,212
[Wayne] What the fuck?

1341
00:53:48,214 --> 00:53:49,516
Sorry, Wayne.

1342
00:53:51,217 --> 00:53:52,650
[Wayne] Hey!

1343
00:53:52,652 --> 00:53:53,819
Frank!

1344
00:53:53,821 --> 00:53:56,123
Get back here, you asshole!

1345
00:53:56,924 --> 00:53:58,226
[clacking]

1346
00:54:03,697 --> 00:54:05,032
[winch whirring]

1347
00:54:06,799 --> 00:54:10,034
- What fresh hell is this?
- [car honking]

1348
00:54:10,036 --> 00:54:12,103
[Nancy] Ay Dios mio!
No, no, no, I didn't...

1349
00:54:12,105 --> 00:54:13,107
[gasps]

1350
00:54:16,911 --> 00:54:18,546
[panting]

1351
00:54:21,681 --> 00:54:23,484
[humming]

1352
00:54:25,118 --> 00:54:28,121
[foreboding music]

1353
00:54:29,556 --> 00:54:31,658
[Frank] Shit, shit. Now what?

1354
00:54:41,735 --> 00:54:43,271
[crows cawing]

1355
00:54:45,306 --> 00:54:46,837
- [Nancy] Frank!
- [Frank] Shit!

1356
00:54:46,839 --> 00:54:48,172
[Nancy] Panic room, car gone.

1357
00:54:48,174 --> 00:54:49,574
Keep walking, cops.

1358
00:54:49,576 --> 00:54:50,842
I found Nigel's stuff,
don't look over.

1359
00:54:50,844 --> 00:54:52,277
It's in the back of the truck.
Don't look over.

1360
00:54:52,279 --> 00:54:53,681
[police 1] Excuse me.

1361
00:54:54,647 --> 00:54:55,746
Hi.

1362
00:54:55,748 --> 00:54:57,185
Are you
Mr. Bathgate's neighbors?

1363
00:54:58,018 --> 00:54:59,116
[Frank] Yes, officer.

1364
00:54:59,118 --> 00:55:01,686
Yeah, we got a report
of a burglary at his house,

1365
00:55:01,688 --> 00:55:03,121
uh, suspicious activity.

1366
00:55:03,123 --> 00:55:04,723
Have you seen anything?

1367
00:55:04,725 --> 00:55:06,960
A burglary?
What, at Nigel's house?

1368
00:55:08,194 --> 00:55:09,761
Good sweet Christ,

1369
00:55:09,763 --> 00:55:12,630
what is happening to our sweet
little neighborhood?

1370
00:55:12,632 --> 00:55:15,933
- Uh, are you okay sir?
- [Frank] No.

1371
00:55:15,935 --> 00:55:19,606
I'm devastated beyond reason.

1372
00:55:24,712 --> 00:55:25,880
Sweet Christ.

1373
00:55:27,147 --> 00:55:28,882
[Frank] No, I wasn't into that.

1374
00:55:29,717 --> 00:55:31,083
[Nancy] Never?

1375
00:55:31,085 --> 00:55:32,884
[Frank] Not really.

1376
00:55:32,886 --> 00:55:34,820
Not even in a school play
or anything?

1377
00:55:34,822 --> 00:55:36,320
No, I was never into drama.

1378
00:55:36,322 --> 00:55:39,090
I mean, sure, in the third grade
I played a teacup.

1379
00:55:39,092 --> 00:55:40,826
Uh, why...
[chuckles]

1380
00:55:40,828 --> 00:55:42,728
...all the questions
about acting?

1381
00:55:42,730 --> 00:55:43,962
You think I came across as fake?

1382
00:55:43,964 --> 00:55:46,364
I think there's better acting
every time Larry King says,

1383
00:55:46,366 --> 00:55:47,965
"Till death do us part."

1384
00:55:47,967 --> 00:55:49,300
[Frank] Well, that's very funny.

1385
00:55:49,302 --> 00:55:50,436
You wanna hear something else
that's funny?

1386
00:55:50,438 --> 00:55:53,304
There's a video of us
getting kidnapped on YouTube.

1387
00:55:53,306 --> 00:55:54,341
[Nancy] I know.

1388
00:56:01,781 --> 00:56:03,882
You don't know how many times
I've fantasized

1389
00:56:03,884 --> 00:56:06,253
about getting rid of you
for at least two months,

1390
00:56:07,253 --> 00:56:09,320
but now that I'm going toyail,

1391
00:56:09,322 --> 00:56:12,757
I... I'm gonna be devastated
without you.

1392
00:56:12,759 --> 00:56:15,059
Wait, you're going back
to college?

1393
00:56:15,061 --> 00:56:17,998
You know that when I say "yail"
I mean prison.

1394
00:56:22,835 --> 00:56:24,168
[truck door closes]

1395
00:56:24,170 --> 00:56:26,204
[Frank] He lives
in his mother's house.

1396
00:56:26,206 --> 00:56:28,373
And by that I mean
his mother's garage.

1397
00:56:28,375 --> 00:56:30,241
I'm sure Jason's home, you know,

1398
00:56:30,243 --> 00:56:32,444
rubbing his mother's feet
or something.

1399
00:56:32,446 --> 00:56:34,212
We know you're in there, Jason.

1400
00:56:34,214 --> 00:56:36,049
[rattling]

1401
00:56:39,719 --> 00:56:41,319
- [Nancy] Hi.
- [Jason] Oh!

1402
00:56:41,321 --> 00:56:43,255
Hey, hi, Mr. and Mrs. Teagarten.

1403
00:56:43,257 --> 00:56:44,889
Is that I...

1404
00:56:44,891 --> 00:56:46,757
Actually, I wasn't hiding.
Is, is everything okay?

1405
00:56:46,759 --> 00:56:47,992
Why wouldn't it be, Jason?

1406
00:56:47,994 --> 00:56:49,061
Well, it's just that you've
never been to my house before

1407
00:56:49,063 --> 00:56:52,264
in like two years.
And it's what, um, 10:00 p.m.

1408
00:56:52,266 --> 00:56:55,300
Actually, it isn't okay,
and you can help.

1409
00:56:55,302 --> 00:56:56,867
Rachel's always saying that
you're some kind of

1410
00:56:56,869 --> 00:56:57,969
computer genius.

1411
00:56:57,971 --> 00:56:59,837
Aw. She says
I'm a computer genius?

1412
00:56:59,839 --> 00:57:01,139
That's very...
that's very sweet.

1413
00:57:01,141 --> 00:57:02,340
I'm sure it was like
a throwaway,

1414
00:57:02,342 --> 00:57:03,541
or like an aside, you know,

1415
00:57:03,543 --> 00:57:04,576
"He's a computer genius,"
you know, just like saying...

1416
00:57:04,578 --> 00:57:05,677
Oh, you know what,
I bet it's 'cause she knows

1417
00:57:05,679 --> 00:57:08,380
it's on my dream boards
to become a computer genius.

1418
00:57:08,382 --> 00:57:09,447
I'll bet that's where
that came from.

1419
00:57:09,449 --> 00:57:11,248
Did she actually say that,
or like in an e-mail,

1420
00:57:11,250 --> 00:57:12,750
or was it to...
in person to you just...

1421
00:57:12,752 --> 00:57:14,485
Jason! This isn't about you.

1422
00:57:14,487 --> 00:57:17,391
We need your help
with a video of me and Nancy.

1423
00:57:19,426 --> 00:57:20,491
Okay.

1424
00:57:20,493 --> 00:57:22,293
So you want...

1425
00:57:22,295 --> 00:57:25,996
me to make a video of you guys?

1426
00:57:25,998 --> 00:57:27,199
- Oh, get your mind
- No.

1427
00:57:27,201 --> 00:57:28,067
out of the gutter.

1428
00:57:28,069 --> 00:57:30,103
Good lord, Jason,
you take the cake.

1429
00:57:32,873 --> 00:57:35,172
It's so much more
fucked up than that.

1430
00:57:35,174 --> 00:57:37,208
[gunshots]

1431
00:57:37,210 --> 00:57:38,976
- Look at this.
- [man 1] You might die!

1432
00:57:38,978 --> 00:57:41,246
This is insane.
When did this happen?

1433
00:57:41,248 --> 00:57:43,782
It feels like
in another lifetime.

1434
00:57:43,784 --> 00:57:45,282
Yet also like Tuesday.

1435
00:57:45,284 --> 00:57:46,851
Okay, well,
we have to call the police.

1436
00:57:46,853 --> 00:57:47,987
No! No police.

1437
00:57:47,989 --> 00:57:50,020
It was a misunderstanding
but everything's okay now.

1438
00:57:50,022 --> 00:57:52,023
It was a hiccup.

1439
00:57:52,025 --> 00:57:53,991
A hiccup? You being kidnapped?

1440
00:57:53,993 --> 00:57:55,826
A hiccup. It was a hiccup.

1441
00:57:55,828 --> 00:57:57,161
A hiccup. You don't call 911

1442
00:57:57,163 --> 00:57:58,496
every time you have
the hiccups do you, no.

1443
00:57:58,498 --> 00:57:59,864
I mean, maybe you do,
but I don't.

1444
00:57:59,866 --> 00:58:02,067
Listen, Jason.

1445
00:58:02,069 --> 00:58:03,501
We don't want Rachel
to see this.

1446
00:58:03,503 --> 00:58:05,369
- [Jason] Mm-hm.
- She would only worry.

1447
00:58:05,371 --> 00:58:08,306
That's why we must
take this down.

1448
00:58:08,308 --> 00:58:10,141
[Jason] Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Shouldn't be a problem.

1449
00:58:10,143 --> 00:58:11,909
Although, these guys
should be punished though,

1450
00:58:11,911 --> 00:58:14,311
'cause they cannot do that.
We'd... Especially to you guys.

1451
00:58:14,313 --> 00:58:15,348
- I mean...
- [computer chimes]

1452
00:58:16,449 --> 00:58:17,549
Oh, my god, okay,
that's actually

1453
00:58:17,551 --> 00:58:18,650
Rachel Skyping me now.

1454
00:58:18,652 --> 00:58:20,918
We're not here. She'll know
there's something wrong.

1455
00:58:20,920 --> 00:58:22,920
We, we would only be here
with you if we were desperate.

1456
00:58:22,922 --> 00:58:25,056
No, no, I wanna see
her little face,

1457
00:58:25,058 --> 00:58:26,925
even if it's for just a second.

1458
00:58:26,927 --> 00:58:28,527
We can hide,
she won't know we're here,

1459
00:58:28,529 --> 00:58:29,527
please, please, please.

1460
00:58:29,529 --> 00:58:31,798
- All right, go ahead.
- [Jason] Really? Okay.

1461
00:58:33,167 --> 00:58:34,266
- [button clicks]
- [computer chimes]

1462
00:58:34,268 --> 00:58:36,201
Yo! Hey, Rach. What's up?

1463
00:58:36,203 --> 00:58:38,203
I can only talk
for a few minutes.

1464
00:58:38,205 --> 00:58:40,204
Jessie is a great roommate,

1465
00:58:40,206 --> 00:58:41,973
but she's throwing
her third party

1466
00:58:41,975 --> 00:58:43,377
in four days, and she's...

1467
00:58:44,578 --> 00:58:46,311
Jason?

1468
00:58:46,313 --> 00:58:47,411
Are you okay?

1469
00:58:47,413 --> 00:58:49,380
What? I'm fine. That's...

1470
00:58:49,382 --> 00:58:51,349
How about you?

1471
00:58:51,351 --> 00:58:52,416
[sighs]
Well, actually,

1472
00:58:52,418 --> 00:58:53,617
I'm a little worried.

1473
00:58:53,619 --> 00:58:56,054
My mom called,
and I tried calling her back,

1474
00:58:56,056 --> 00:58:57,922
and she's not picking up.

1475
00:58:57,924 --> 00:58:59,958
Oh, uh, that's, you know.

1476
00:58:59,960 --> 00:59:01,458
It's... It's her...
'Cause her phone,

1477
00:59:01,460 --> 00:59:03,061
it's, um, her phone is broken.

1478
00:59:03,063 --> 00:59:04,061
[Rachel] You saw her?

1479
00:59:04,063 --> 00:59:06,063
Yeah. Oh, they had
a yard sale yesterday, so.

1480
00:59:06,065 --> 00:59:07,933
- [Rachel] A yard sale?
- No, that's..

1481
00:59:07,935 --> 00:59:09,201
I'm sorry,
"yard sale," what is...

1482
00:59:09,203 --> 00:59:11,001
No, they were...
'cause they were in the yard,

1483
00:59:11,003 --> 00:59:13,270
so I ran into them
cause I took a shortcut,

1484
00:59:13,272 --> 00:59:16,208
um, to... to...
to go work at Staples,

1485
00:59:16,210 --> 00:59:18,009
where I am
the assistant manager.

1486
00:59:18,011 --> 00:59:19,210
[Rachel] This is weird.

1487
00:59:19,212 --> 00:59:22,179
Mom always calls me right back.
This isn't like her.

1488
00:59:22,181 --> 00:59:23,248
Well, it's...

1489
00:59:23,250 --> 00:59:25,951
Could be 'cause she's...
she's singing and dancing,

1490
00:59:25,953 --> 00:59:28,085
and, and also blowing someone.

1491
00:59:28,087 --> 00:59:29,186
[stammers]
Uh, her birthday.

1492
00:59:29,188 --> 00:59:30,454
Isn't it her birthday
pretty soon?

1493
00:59:30,456 --> 00:59:32,960
Oh, of course, poor Mom.

1494
00:59:34,261 --> 00:59:35,960
Jason,

1495
00:59:35,962 --> 00:59:38,230
I should surprise her.

1496
00:59:38,232 --> 00:59:40,197
I'll come home for her birthday,
she'll love that.

1497
00:59:40,199 --> 00:59:42,500
Yeah, yeah, they both would.
Yeah, they would both love that.

1498
00:59:42,502 --> 00:59:44,034
For sure.
You should come on down.

1499
00:59:44,036 --> 00:59:45,170
I'll try Dad, he'll love it.

1500
00:59:45,172 --> 00:59:47,938
I'll get tulips.
Tulips are her favorite flowers,

1501
00:59:47,940 --> 00:59:50,507
and I'll invite all her sisters,
and everyone will be there

1502
00:59:50,509 --> 00:59:51,912
- and everyone will be...
- [cell phone ringing]

1503
00:59:56,148 --> 00:59:57,884
That's funny, do you hear that?

1504
00:59:59,418 --> 01:00:00,985
It's my dad's ringtone.

1505
01:00:00,987 --> 01:00:03,290
[cell phone ringing]

1506
01:00:04,491 --> 01:00:06,056
Yeah, okay,
you know what, Rachel?

1507
01:00:06,058 --> 01:00:07,525
I really...
I gotta tell you something.

1508
01:00:07,527 --> 01:00:09,126
- Actually, your parent...
- [thuds]

1509
01:00:09,128 --> 01:00:10,895
[electricity powers down]

1510
01:00:10,897 --> 01:00:13,665
[Frank] Jason, you really are
a little quisling.

1511
01:00:13,667 --> 01:00:14,933
You know that?

1512
01:00:14,935 --> 01:00:16,000
[Jason] Okay, he...

1513
01:00:16,002 --> 01:00:17,569
- he was from Norway.
- [Nancy sighs]

1514
01:00:17,571 --> 01:00:19,536
I felt terrible lying to Rachel.

1515
01:00:19,538 --> 01:00:20,672
I understand,

1516
01:00:20,674 --> 01:00:23,174
because you never know
when the lies are going to stop.

1517
01:00:23,176 --> 01:00:24,476
But they just keep coming.

1518
01:00:24,478 --> 01:00:26,411
Pushing you out of the way.

1519
01:00:26,413 --> 01:00:28,516
Taking over your life
completely.

1520
01:00:29,549 --> 01:00:32,217
[sighs]
What a beautiful street.

1521
01:00:32,219 --> 01:00:33,550
Do you have raccoons?

1522
01:00:33,552 --> 01:00:35,520
Yeah, sporadically.
[chuckles]

1523
01:00:35,522 --> 01:00:36,587
I love them.

1524
01:00:36,589 --> 01:00:37,922
Is that your guy's moving truck?

1525
01:00:37,924 --> 01:00:39,491
No. Well, yes.

1526
01:00:39,493 --> 01:00:41,393
We're just trying
to sell a few things.

1527
01:00:41,395 --> 01:00:42,494
Sell from the back of a truck?
[chuckles]

1528
01:00:42,496 --> 01:00:45,063
Uh, we're trying to,
uh, finish off our yard sale.

1529
01:00:45,065 --> 01:00:45,963
For the truck and the computer,

1530
01:00:45,965 --> 01:00:48,233
using that, uh, Skype thing.
Anyhow...

1531
01:00:48,235 --> 01:00:49,567
So, you mean
like a virtual yard sale?

1532
01:00:49,569 --> 01:00:50,567
That's... Wow.

1533
01:00:50,569 --> 01:00:52,670
Did you come up with that idea,
Mr. Teagarten?

1534
01:00:52,672 --> 01:00:55,040
What? Uh, yeah, sure.
Anyway, thanks for your help...

1535
01:00:55,042 --> 01:00:56,541
That's genius!
Do you see the potential?

1536
01:00:56,543 --> 01:00:58,409
Not one iota. We gotta run now.

1537
01:00:58,411 --> 01:01:00,445
Uh, wait, Mr.
and Mrs. Teagarten, there's...

1538
01:01:00,447 --> 01:01:01,947
I think there's something
I need to show you.

1539
01:01:01,949 --> 01:01:03,918
For the love of Christ, Jason!
What is it?

1540
01:01:04,650 --> 01:01:09,219
[somber music]

1541
01:01:09,221 --> 01:01:11,956
[Jason] So the park
was actually built in the '50s.

1542
01:01:11,958 --> 01:01:13,657
It's, uh, kind of fell
on hard times,

1543
01:01:13,659 --> 01:01:15,592
was vacant for a while.

1544
01:01:15,594 --> 01:01:17,329
So some friends and I,
we pooled our money

1545
01:01:17,331 --> 01:01:18,396
and bought it,

1546
01:01:18,398 --> 01:01:21,166
and we spent the last two years
just fixing it up.

1547
01:01:21,168 --> 01:01:23,233
[Nancy] Jason, this is amazing.

1548
01:01:23,235 --> 01:01:24,436
[Jason] Thank you.

1549
01:01:24,438 --> 01:01:27,172
[clacking]

1550
01:01:27,174 --> 01:01:28,172
This is what I wanted
to show you.

1551
01:01:28,174 --> 01:01:30,976
All of our trailer homes
have a storage space,

1552
01:01:30,978 --> 01:01:33,744
'cause people are downsizing
from like, 3,500 square feet.

1553
01:01:33,746 --> 01:01:36,648
These days, I guess
it's like that everywhere.

1554
01:01:36,650 --> 01:01:39,416
So this is where
your virtual yard sale comes in.

1555
01:01:39,418 --> 01:01:41,186
You can upload streaming video

1556
01:01:41,188 --> 01:01:44,355
and people can browse it,
like in real time.

1557
01:01:44,357 --> 01:01:46,623
So you've got almost
a live yard sale,

1558
01:01:46,625 --> 01:01:49,094
but you're bidding,
like eBay online.

1559
01:01:49,096 --> 01:01:52,230
So you call it something like,
YardBay.

1560
01:01:52,232 --> 01:01:53,297
[chuckles]

1561
01:01:53,299 --> 01:01:55,433
I'm sure you've thought
all this through, but, um,

1562
01:01:55,435 --> 01:01:56,601
you know, I'd love to help, I...
[stutters]

1563
01:01:56,603 --> 01:01:58,402
I could computer code
it all for you.

1564
01:01:58,404 --> 01:02:01,005
[cell phone ringing]

1565
01:02:01,007 --> 01:02:02,306
- Hello?
- [indistinct dialogue]

1566
01:02:02,308 --> 01:02:04,442
[in Japanese accent]
No, Mr. Teagarten no here.

1567
01:02:04,444 --> 01:02:05,710
You have to call back a later.

1568
01:02:05,712 --> 01:02:07,078
[indistinct dialogue]

1569
01:02:07,080 --> 01:02:08,045
Oh, he in the shower now

1570
01:02:08,047 --> 01:02:10,283
washing his body
with the shampoo and honey.

1571
01:02:11,284 --> 01:02:12,384
He have a shingles.

1572
01:02:12,386 --> 01:02:13,717
[indistinct dialogue]

1573
01:02:13,719 --> 01:02:14,721
[clears throat]

1574
01:02:16,188 --> 01:02:17,621
That was an old
fraternity buddy of mine.

1575
01:02:17,623 --> 01:02:19,324
Clyde Drexler.
[sniffles]

1576
01:02:19,326 --> 01:02:20,724
I mean, he's a fan
of Clyde Drexler.

1577
01:02:20,726 --> 01:02:22,559
- Mm-hm.
- The Trailblazers.

1578
01:02:22,561 --> 01:02:24,161
Um, anyway, uh.

1579
01:02:24,163 --> 01:02:26,163
Thanks for the tour, Jason.
This was impressive.

1580
01:02:26,165 --> 01:02:28,099
Mobile homes and crap.

1581
01:02:28,101 --> 01:02:30,567
I'm sorry.
That sounded patronizing.

1582
01:02:30,569 --> 01:02:32,270
- [Frank] Food for thought.
- Yeah.

1583
01:02:32,272 --> 01:02:33,670
Uh, thanks for your help
with the video.

1584
01:02:33,672 --> 01:02:34,773
Anytime.

1585
01:02:34,775 --> 01:02:36,510
[clacking]

1586
01:02:37,177 --> 01:02:38,179
[thuds]

1587
01:02:39,378 --> 01:02:41,679
Boy, Jason sure can talk.
[Frank chuckles]

1588
01:02:41,681 --> 01:02:42,813
Okay, I better call Randall

1589
01:02:42,815 --> 01:02:45,382
and tell him I'll take
that catalytic converter job.

1590
01:02:45,384 --> 01:02:46,583
[Nancy grunts]

1591
01:02:46,585 --> 01:02:49,255
[Nancy] Okay, I'm gonna...
I'm gonna go get a Baby Ruth.

1592
01:02:50,424 --> 01:02:52,059
- [door opens]
- A Baby Ruth?

1593
01:02:53,393 --> 01:02:54,595
[car approaching]

1594
01:02:59,232 --> 01:03:00,234
Shit.

1595
01:03:02,368 --> 01:03:03,403
[car door opens]

1596
01:03:04,571 --> 01:03:06,503
[Frank] Excuse me.

1597
01:03:06,505 --> 01:03:08,239
Hey, I'm sorry to bother you.

1598
01:03:08,241 --> 01:03:10,275
I... You have any change,
or better yet,

1599
01:03:10,277 --> 01:03:11,675
do you mind if I use
your cell phone?

1600
01:03:11,677 --> 01:03:12,777
It's kind of an emergency.

1601
01:03:12,779 --> 01:03:15,079
[Nancy] A Baby Ruth candy bar.

1602
01:03:15,081 --> 01:03:16,447
[cashier] Oh, Baby Ruth.

1603
01:03:16,449 --> 01:03:18,449
I thought you said Zagnut.

1604
01:03:18,451 --> 01:03:19,851
- [Nancy] Do you have one?
- [cashier] Uh...

1605
01:03:19,853 --> 01:03:21,386
Yeah, let me check in the back.

1606
01:03:21,388 --> 01:03:23,123
[Nancy] I'll take two
if you have 'em.

1607
01:03:24,790 --> 01:03:26,224
Buddy, cool off.
[stammers]

1608
01:03:26,226 --> 01:03:28,425
I'm not trying to cause
any problems here.

1609
01:03:28,427 --> 01:03:29,661
You act like you got

1610
01:03:29,663 --> 01:03:31,695
50 kilos back there
or something.

1611
01:03:31,697 --> 01:03:32,864
[Nancy] Oh, by the way,
how much are...

1612
01:03:32,866 --> 01:03:34,498
What? What the?

1613
01:03:34,500 --> 01:03:36,703
Frank! Frank! Frank!

1614
01:03:37,770 --> 01:03:39,672
[door opens]

1615
01:03:40,739 --> 01:03:42,042
[door closes]

1616
01:03:44,511 --> 01:03:47,148
[cashier] Hey! I found
the king size, is that okay?

1617
01:03:48,348 --> 01:03:49,413
[Nancy screams]

1618
01:03:49,415 --> 01:03:51,715
[speaking Spanish]

1619
01:03:51,717 --> 01:03:52,817
[cashier] Hello?

1620
01:03:52,819 --> 01:03:54,485
The king size, okay?

1621
01:03:54,487 --> 01:03:56,420
[Nancy yells]

1622
01:03:56,422 --> 01:03:59,290
You try that again,
motherfucker?

1623
01:03:59,292 --> 01:04:00,791
I'm gonna bust
your fucking head open.

1624
01:04:00,793 --> 01:04:02,362
[siren wailing]

1625
01:04:04,563 --> 01:04:06,331
[police 1] Everybody put
your hands where I can see 'em!

1626
01:04:06,333 --> 01:04:07,898
- [police 2] Down in the ground!
- [police 3] On the ground!

1627
01:04:07,900 --> 01:04:09,400
[police 1]
Get on the ground now!

1628
01:04:09,402 --> 01:04:12,170
[overlapping dialogue]

1629
01:04:12,172 --> 01:04:13,505
[helicopter whirring]

1630
01:04:13,507 --> 01:04:15,405
[dogs barking]

1631
01:04:15,407 --> 01:04:17,478
[sirens wailing]

1632
01:04:18,545 --> 01:04:20,277
[police 1] Whoo! Jackpot.

1633
01:04:20,279 --> 01:04:23,283
[foreboding music]

1634
01:04:25,719 --> 01:04:27,152
[sighs]

1635
01:04:27,154 --> 01:04:29,686
Turns out it was 120 kilos.

1636
01:04:29,688 --> 01:04:31,524
Teagarten. Frank Teagarten.

1637
01:04:32,792 --> 01:04:33,860
[clacks]

1638
01:04:35,362 --> 01:04:36,860
FBI wants to talk to you.
Come on.

1639
01:04:36,862 --> 01:04:39,596
The FBI wants to talk
to me? Why?

1640
01:04:39,598 --> 01:04:41,699
They think you're good lookin'.
Come on.

1641
01:04:41,701 --> 01:04:42,770
[sighs]

1642
01:04:44,203 --> 01:04:45,205
Not you.

1643
01:04:46,806 --> 01:04:48,175
- [thud]
- [police 4] Let's go.

1644
01:04:49,808 --> 01:04:51,211
[keys jingle]

1645
01:04:56,248 --> 01:04:57,384
Are you okay?

1646
01:04:59,920 --> 01:05:02,123
It seems to me
you're as scared as I am.

1647
01:05:03,355 --> 01:05:05,125
Oh, I'm not scared for myself.

1648
01:05:07,893 --> 01:05:09,162
For my daughter.

1649
01:05:10,630 --> 01:05:11,732
We're done talkin'.

1650
01:05:17,670 --> 01:05:18,605
I have a daughter, too.

1651
01:05:20,373 --> 01:05:24,211
Our biggest fear in life
was to disappoint her.

1652
01:05:25,878 --> 01:05:28,315
I'm so ashamed and...

1653
01:05:28,949 --> 01:05:29,947
and worried...

1654
01:05:29,949 --> 01:05:32,449
Don't be bitching to me
about your rich life,

1655
01:05:32,451 --> 01:05:33,851
your spoiled brat daughter.

1656
01:05:33,853 --> 01:05:35,719
You know, you're gonna be out
of here in a minute,

1657
01:05:35,721 --> 01:05:37,454
and she'll have her mommy back.

1658
01:05:37,456 --> 01:05:38,855
But now, thanks to you,

1659
01:05:38,857 --> 01:05:41,491
I'm stuck in here
for god knows how long.

1660
01:05:41,493 --> 01:05:43,561
Yeah. I will get out,

1661
01:05:43,563 --> 01:05:48,866
but I will still be
a good-for-nothing fuck up.

1662
01:05:48,868 --> 01:05:51,469
And that might not mean
a lot to you,

1663
01:05:51,471 --> 01:05:54,672
since it looks like you've been
a fuck up for a while,

1664
01:05:54,674 --> 01:05:57,942
but we only fucked up
for one week.

1665
01:05:57,944 --> 01:06:00,480
One week, is all it took
for us to...

1666
01:06:00,980 --> 01:06:02,348
ruin her life.

1667
01:06:02,882 --> 01:06:04,648
She's only 19,

1668
01:06:04,650 --> 01:06:06,619
- and... and now she's...
- Are you kidding me?

1669
01:06:07,554 --> 01:06:08,552
[Shope] Your daughter's 19.

1670
01:06:08,554 --> 01:06:10,657
She's supposed
to be taking care of herself.

1671
01:06:11,857 --> 01:06:12,926
My Rose...

1672
01:06:13,993 --> 01:06:15,328
she's only seven.

1673
01:06:16,395 --> 01:06:17,397
And now...

1674
01:06:18,697 --> 01:06:20,398
she's all alone in the world.

1675
01:06:20,400 --> 01:06:21,635
She's got nobody.

1676
01:06:22,569 --> 01:06:23,771
[sniffles]

1677
01:06:25,639 --> 01:06:27,438
Woman...

1678
01:06:27,440 --> 01:06:31,509
you have no idea what shame is.

1679
01:06:31,511 --> 01:06:32,679
[Nancy] Shit.

1680
01:06:33,380 --> 01:06:34,615
You win.

1681
01:06:35,815 --> 01:06:37,982
[sirens wailing]

1682
01:06:37,984 --> 01:06:39,416
[Milhouse] Hey, Frank.

1683
01:06:39,418 --> 01:06:41,552
I'm Special Agent Milhouse.

1684
01:06:41,554 --> 01:06:43,621
This is Special Agent Barnes.

1685
01:06:43,623 --> 01:06:45,757
- [Barnes] Weird night, huh? God.
- [Milhouse] Yeah.

1686
01:06:45,759 --> 01:06:49,559
A 120 kilos of Norteno Cocaine.

1687
01:06:49,561 --> 01:06:51,996
- A hell of a bust.
- Yeah.

1688
01:06:51,998 --> 01:06:54,799
You know that we had nothing
to do with this, right?

1689
01:06:54,801 --> 01:06:55,933
[Milhouse] Oh!

1690
01:06:55,935 --> 01:06:57,634
So you think
that we just send out

1691
01:06:57,636 --> 01:06:59,706
our whole field office
just for fun?

1692
01:07:00,639 --> 01:07:01,838
This is what we know.

1693
01:07:01,840 --> 01:07:03,875
We've been tailing Shope
for three days,

1694
01:07:03,877 --> 01:07:05,442
since he entered
the United States.

1695
01:07:05,444 --> 01:07:07,311
Next thing we know,
the three of you

1696
01:07:07,313 --> 01:07:10,081
are in a Kwik-E-Mart
parking lot free for all.

1697
01:07:10,083 --> 01:07:12,349
So I think we've got
a problem here, don't you?

1698
01:07:12,351 --> 01:07:13,884
Frank, if you wanna get out
of here tonight,

1699
01:07:13,886 --> 01:07:14,951
you've gotta convince us,

1700
01:07:14,953 --> 01:07:17,355
you're not some
big, rich drug lord.

1701
01:07:17,357 --> 01:07:18,523
Like, for real.

1702
01:07:18,525 --> 01:07:20,692
[cell phone ringing]

1703
01:07:20,694 --> 01:07:22,860
[Frank in Japanese accent]
Hello? Mr. Teagarten no home.

1704
01:07:22,862 --> 01:07:24,695
His phone went through
a snow blower,

1705
01:07:24,697 --> 01:07:26,931
and he chop his head right off.

1706
01:07:26,933 --> 01:07:29,936
[light music]

1707
01:07:32,038 --> 01:07:34,404
[Frank] I guess owing 300 bucks
to MasterCard

1708
01:07:34,406 --> 01:07:37,875
helped convince them,
we aren't Mr. and Mrs. El Chapo.

1709
01:07:37,877 --> 01:07:40,511
[Nancy] I can't help thinking
about that little girl.

1710
01:07:40,513 --> 01:07:42,079
[Frank] Nancy,
what are you gonna do?

1711
01:07:42,081 --> 01:07:43,114
Have her come live with us

1712
01:07:43,116 --> 01:07:45,382
in this fucking
Perri Winkle truck?

1713
01:07:45,384 --> 01:07:47,388
[lighter clinks]

1714
01:07:48,554 --> 01:07:49,922
[Frank] God, this day sucked.

1715
01:07:51,757 --> 01:07:52,759
Carl.

1716
01:07:53,793 --> 01:07:55,893
He found my medals.

1717
01:07:55,895 --> 01:07:57,998
- How did he find them?
- He's a sneaky motherfucker.

1718
01:07:59,031 --> 01:08:00,965
But those medals

1719
01:08:00,967 --> 01:08:03,735
made me remember
that I used to win.

1720
01:08:03,737 --> 01:08:06,103
I used to have an edge.

1721
01:08:06,105 --> 01:08:09,676
This week, I've cried more than
I have ever cried before.

1722
01:08:11,143 --> 01:08:13,744
And for things that I would have
never cried about

1723
01:08:13,746 --> 01:08:14,882
in the old days.

1724
01:08:16,915 --> 01:08:19,850
It's like I've become
this person...

1725
01:08:19,852 --> 01:08:21,754
I don't know, and I don't like.

1726
01:08:23,522 --> 01:08:24,590
Where is this headed?

1727
01:08:25,725 --> 01:08:27,425
[sighs]

1728
01:08:27,427 --> 01:08:30,560
- We need to talk to Dan.
- Why? And beg for money?

1729
01:08:30,562 --> 01:08:31,628
That's not getting
your edge back.

1730
01:08:31,630 --> 01:08:33,797
That's surrendering,
not winning.

1731
01:08:33,799 --> 01:08:35,902
Guys like Dan, they take
advantage of weakness.

1732
01:08:38,070 --> 01:08:39,105
I'll figure it out.

1733
01:08:41,141 --> 01:08:42,343
I think.

1734
01:08:44,177 --> 01:08:46,947
I bet Rachel used to take one
of those buses to school.

1735
01:08:47,946 --> 01:08:49,180
Long ago.

1736
01:08:49,182 --> 01:08:51,082
Back in the time
when she used to look up to me

1737
01:08:51,084 --> 01:08:52,486
like I was Superman.

1738
01:08:54,920 --> 01:08:56,586
[sobs]

1739
01:08:56,588 --> 01:08:57,757
Oh, Frank.

1740
01:08:59,625 --> 01:09:00,694
[Frank sniffles]

1741
01:09:02,629 --> 01:09:03,630
You crying?

1742
01:09:05,798 --> 01:09:07,564
You were crying.

1743
01:09:07,566 --> 01:09:09,567
- What a pussy.
- [Frank] No, I'm not crying.

1744
01:09:09,569 --> 01:09:11,769
But if I was, it's because...

1745
01:09:11,771 --> 01:09:13,136
Good god.

1746
01:09:13,138 --> 01:09:14,639
It's because the two
of you reek.

1747
01:09:14,641 --> 01:09:15,773
Fuck you.

1748
01:09:15,775 --> 01:09:18,509
Hey, you got ten bucks? For gas?

1749
01:09:18,511 --> 01:09:20,610
Wow, what timing you have, bum.

1750
01:09:20,612 --> 01:09:22,613
No. Actually, we don't have
ten bucks for gas.

1751
01:09:22,615 --> 01:09:24,448
Liar. That's some
high-end furniture

1752
01:09:24,450 --> 01:09:26,050
you got there, you rich asshole.

1753
01:09:26,052 --> 01:09:29,487
Rich? You have completely
misread our situation, my man.

1754
01:09:29,489 --> 01:09:31,689
Oh, whoa, whoa.
I'm not your man.

1755
01:09:31,691 --> 01:09:33,591
He's not your man, fish face.

1756
01:09:33,593 --> 01:09:34,792
[laughs]

1757
01:09:34,794 --> 01:09:36,927
I don't think anybody's ever
called me fish face before.

1758
01:09:36,929 --> 01:09:38,528
- Good.
- You believe this pile

1759
01:09:38,530 --> 01:09:40,765
of fish face,
calling me "his man"?

1760
01:09:40,767 --> 01:09:43,734
I'm not your man, so, fuck you.

1761
01:09:43,736 --> 01:09:45,168
No, no. It's, uh...

1762
01:09:45,170 --> 01:09:46,770
it's more like fuck you.

1763
01:09:46,772 --> 01:09:49,006
I'm sorry, you're not
understanding what we're saying.

1764
01:09:49,008 --> 01:09:50,608
Fuck you.

1765
01:09:50,610 --> 01:09:52,510
- What's your name?
- Will.

1766
01:09:52,512 --> 01:09:53,577
[Frank] What's your name?

1767
01:09:53,579 --> 01:09:54,679
Colin.

1768
01:09:54,681 --> 01:09:55,949
Will, Colin...

1769
01:09:57,115 --> 01:09:58,181
fuck you.

1770
01:09:58,183 --> 01:09:59,716
[rattling]

1771
01:09:59,718 --> 01:10:00,887
[Colin] Fish face.

1772
01:10:06,692 --> 01:10:09,092
[Nancy]
So, how long do we sit here for?

1773
01:10:09,094 --> 01:10:10,630
- [clanking]
- [Frank] I'm not sure.

1774
01:10:11,129 --> 01:10:12,529
Hey!

1775
01:10:12,531 --> 01:10:13,831
What are you doing out there?

1776
01:10:13,833 --> 01:10:15,899
[rattling]

1777
01:10:15,901 --> 01:10:17,103
So, what do we got here?

1778
01:10:18,637 --> 01:10:20,270
- Where's the other bum?
- [Colin] Maui.

1779
01:10:20,272 --> 01:10:22,172
- I could buy a couple of things.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.

1780
01:10:22,174 --> 01:10:23,908
You think this is some kind
of a store?

1781
01:10:23,910 --> 01:10:25,510
What else would you
be doing here?

1782
01:10:25,512 --> 01:10:28,078
Well, actually, it's kind
of a incredible story.

1783
01:10:28,080 --> 01:10:29,980
- Nancy!
- [Colin] How much for the paint?

1784
01:10:29,982 --> 01:10:31,616
Spray paint,
I'd like to huff it.

1785
01:10:31,618 --> 01:10:32,984
[Frank] You wanna huff it?

1786
01:10:32,986 --> 01:10:34,719
You wanna huff the can
of spray paint?

1787
01:10:34,721 --> 01:10:36,953
You're like the worst bum ever.

1788
01:10:36,955 --> 01:10:38,055
What is it, a pageant?

1789
01:10:38,057 --> 01:10:39,590
[Frank] And you came in last.

1790
01:10:39,592 --> 01:10:41,759
- Okay, five bucks.
- Five bucks?

1791
01:10:41,761 --> 01:10:43,060
For a can of paint?

1792
01:10:43,062 --> 01:10:44,628
That's what I said.
Five bucks, yes or no.

1793
01:10:44,630 --> 01:10:46,631
There's a line forming
behind you.

1794
01:10:46,633 --> 01:10:47,864
Ah! I made you look,

1795
01:10:47,866 --> 01:10:49,634
- you fucking idiot.
- [both laughing]

1796
01:10:49,636 --> 01:10:51,138
- Fuck off.
- [liquid trickling]

1797
01:10:54,307 --> 01:10:56,040
Stop lookin' at me!

1798
01:10:56,042 --> 01:10:57,942
Get away from the gas tank, bum.

1799
01:10:57,944 --> 01:10:59,010
Fuck you!

1800
01:10:59,012 --> 01:11:00,144
[explosion]

1801
01:11:00,146 --> 01:11:02,046
[Will screaming]

1802
01:11:02,048 --> 01:11:03,050
[screams]

1803
01:11:03,850 --> 01:11:05,049
Stop and drop!

1804
01:11:05,051 --> 01:11:06,617
[Will shrieks]

1805
01:11:06,619 --> 01:11:08,920
- [Will] Why is this happening?
- You're on fire!

1806
01:11:08,922 --> 01:11:11,154
Frank! Get this man
an extinguisher!

1807
01:11:11,156 --> 01:11:12,223
- [Frank grunts]
- [Will screams]

1808
01:11:12,225 --> 01:11:14,158
You're just gonna stand there?

1809
01:11:14,160 --> 01:11:15,626
He's on fire!

1810
01:11:15,628 --> 01:11:17,595
[Will] I don't need this shit
in my life!

1811
01:11:17,597 --> 01:11:21,933
[Nancy screaming in Spanish]

1812
01:11:21,935 --> 01:11:23,167
[Will groaning]

1813
01:11:23,169 --> 01:11:24,268
[Wil] Oh, yeah.

1814
01:11:24,270 --> 01:11:25,670
Lie on me.

1815
01:11:25,672 --> 01:11:27,003
Yeah, get on me, girl.

1816
01:11:27,005 --> 01:11:29,840
Uh, yeah.
Grind me out like a cigarette.

1817
01:11:29,842 --> 01:11:32,743
Oh! Yeah. Let me...
Let me return the favor.

1818
01:11:32,745 --> 01:11:35,179
- I'm anything but a gentleman.
- [Nancy] Are you kidding?

1819
01:11:35,181 --> 01:11:36,346
[extinguisher hisses]

1820
01:11:36,348 --> 01:11:37,848
That's my wife, bum.

1821
01:11:37,850 --> 01:11:39,350
[hissing]

1822
01:11:39,352 --> 01:11:41,051
[Nancy and Will coughing]

1823
01:11:41,053 --> 01:11:43,921
- She got on me, dude!
- [Nancy coughs]

1824
01:11:43,923 --> 01:11:46,223
- [Colin] Hey!
- [Will coughs]

1825
01:11:46,225 --> 01:11:48,629
Bum, put those lamps back.

1826
01:11:49,963 --> 01:11:53,264
- So, that's the basic concept.
- Mm.

1827
01:11:53,266 --> 01:11:56,033
Sounds like a good idea.
What, you're calling it, uh,

1828
01:11:56,035 --> 01:11:58,034
- YardBay?
- YardBay.

1829
01:11:58,036 --> 01:11:59,769
Great name for a great idea.

1830
01:11:59,771 --> 01:12:01,137
Well, it's Frank's idea.

1831
01:12:01,139 --> 01:12:02,372
You hear that, bums?

1832
01:12:02,374 --> 01:12:04,308
The great idea was my idea.

1833
01:12:04,310 --> 01:12:06,844
Shovel swinging in your face
would be a good idea.

1834
01:12:06,846 --> 01:12:09,246
[all laughing]

1835
01:12:09,248 --> 01:12:11,047
He already did that.

1836
01:12:11,049 --> 01:12:13,083
While smoking a spider.

1837
01:12:13,085 --> 01:12:14,251
[all laughing]

1838
01:12:14,253 --> 01:12:15,786
[Will] Oh, I believe it.

1839
01:12:15,788 --> 01:12:17,188
'Cause he's a huge dumbass.

1840
01:12:17,190 --> 01:12:18,855
Look at his fat fish face.

1841
01:12:18,857 --> 01:12:20,658
[Will laughs]

1842
01:12:20,660 --> 01:12:23,063
Frank is a banana split of shit.

1843
01:12:24,230 --> 01:12:25,095
I don't like that.

1844
01:12:25,097 --> 01:12:27,331
I hate to say it,
but Frank is right

1845
01:12:27,333 --> 01:12:28,335
about one thing.

1846
01:12:29,168 --> 01:12:30,203
You got a good idea.

1847
01:12:30,870 --> 01:12:32,135
Okay?

1848
01:12:32,137 --> 01:12:35,305
But you gotta go in strong when
you're dealing with rich people.

1849
01:12:35,307 --> 01:12:37,174
- Otherwise, they'll prey on you.
- [metal clanks]

1850
01:12:37,176 --> 01:12:38,842
- [Will] I would know that...
- [liquid trickling]

1851
01:12:38,844 --> 01:12:40,043
- ...because I used to be...
- [lighter clicks]

1852
01:12:40,045 --> 01:12:42,078
- ...one of those people.
- [explosion]

1853
01:12:42,080 --> 01:12:43,146
[Colin screams]

1854
01:12:43,148 --> 01:12:44,718
[Colin] Put me out, fish face!

1855
01:12:45,218 --> 01:12:46,716
[screams]

1856
01:12:46,718 --> 01:12:48,221
- [screaming continues]
- [extinguisher hissing]

1857
01:12:50,722 --> 01:12:53,123
[Colin] All right,
I'm out. I'm out.

1858
01:12:53,125 --> 01:12:54,692
- You okay?
- Yeah.

1859
01:12:54,694 --> 01:12:55,792
What happened?

1860
01:12:55,794 --> 01:12:57,094
Oh. Cigarette.

1861
01:12:57,096 --> 01:12:58,996
Ah, yeah.
Same thing happened to me.

1862
01:12:58,998 --> 01:13:00,997
- Feel stupid.
- Yeah.

1863
01:13:00,999 --> 01:13:03,367
All right, well, goodbye, Frank.

1864
01:13:03,369 --> 01:13:05,135
Hope a train falls on your face.

1865
01:13:05,137 --> 01:13:06,836
[laughs]

1866
01:13:06,838 --> 01:13:09,375
Go siphon some gas
and smoke a cigarette, bum.

1867
01:13:10,776 --> 01:13:11,811
Touché.

1868
01:13:13,312 --> 01:13:15,078
[Will]
You sure you're all right?

1869
01:13:15,080 --> 01:13:16,413
- [Colin] Yeah.
- [Will] I did the same thing,

1870
01:13:16,415 --> 01:13:18,448
and next thing you know,
the flames just jump on you.

1871
01:13:18,450 --> 01:13:19,750
[Colin] You think
it's the cigarette, or...

1872
01:13:19,752 --> 01:13:21,418
[Will] Fifty-fifty chance.

1873
01:13:21,420 --> 01:13:22,655
They were sweet.

1874
01:13:24,456 --> 01:13:25,726
Colin and Will.

1875
01:13:26,959 --> 01:13:27,961
Fuck them.

1876
01:13:30,730 --> 01:13:33,064
[lively music]

1877
01:13:33,066 --> 01:13:34,334
[whirring]

1878
01:13:39,938 --> 01:13:41,941
[Rachel] Why is there furniture
on the lawn?

1879
01:13:45,911 --> 01:13:48,045
[Jessie]
Maybe they were partying.

1880
01:13:48,047 --> 01:13:50,180
[Rachel]
They're not like that, Jessie.

1881
01:13:50,182 --> 01:13:51,782
[car door closes]

1882
01:13:51,784 --> 01:13:52,716
You coming inside?

1883
01:13:52,718 --> 01:13:54,885
I wanna start setting up
for the surprise.

1884
01:13:54,887 --> 01:13:56,420
Um, yeah, in a minute.

1885
01:13:56,422 --> 01:13:57,488
I, I got the spins,

1886
01:13:57,490 --> 01:13:59,924
I'm just gonna go back to bed
for a little bit.

1887
01:13:59,926 --> 01:14:00,960
- Okay.
- [car door closes]

1888
01:14:03,963 --> 01:14:05,432
[clacking]

1889
01:14:07,467 --> 01:14:08,835
[Rachel] That's weird.

1890
01:14:10,503 --> 01:14:12,202
[Carl] Whoa, whoa, whoa.

1891
01:14:12,204 --> 01:14:14,805
Hey. If you're here
for the yard sale,

1892
01:14:14,807 --> 01:14:16,207
it's in the yard.

1893
01:14:16,209 --> 01:14:18,175
- Who are you?
- [Carl] Who am I?

1894
01:14:18,177 --> 01:14:20,110
I'm a guy holding pepper spray.

1895
01:14:20,112 --> 01:14:21,912
Twelve ounces...

1896
01:14:21,914 --> 01:14:24,148
Three ounces of pepper spray
at your eyes.

1897
01:14:24,150 --> 01:14:26,317
All right? Who are you?

1898
01:14:26,319 --> 01:14:29,353
I'm Rachel. I live here.

1899
01:14:29,355 --> 01:14:31,055
Oh, my god.

1900
01:14:31,057 --> 01:14:32,355
- Rachel?
- [Rachel] Yeah.

1901
01:14:32,357 --> 01:14:34,091
Oh, I've heard so much
about you.

1902
01:14:34,093 --> 01:14:35,359
[laughs]

1903
01:14:35,361 --> 01:14:36,363
I'm Carl.

1904
01:14:38,931 --> 01:14:40,163
Carl,

1905
01:14:40,165 --> 01:14:42,936
I think you're gonna need to
explain to me what's going on.

1906
01:14:43,436 --> 01:14:45,072
[rattling]

1907
01:14:45,937 --> 01:14:47,037
Oh!

1908
01:14:47,039 --> 01:14:49,873
Baby, I think
I figured something out,

1909
01:14:49,875 --> 01:14:51,341
and we're gonna call it,

1910
01:14:51,343 --> 01:14:52,712
"The Carl."

1911
01:14:55,013 --> 01:14:56,048
Feeling good?

1912
01:14:56,915 --> 01:14:58,448
If good means nervous.

1913
01:14:58,450 --> 01:14:59,716
[Frank] A Baby Ruth?

1914
01:14:59,718 --> 01:15:02,489
[Nancy] Sometimes a Baby Ruth
is just a candy bar.

1915
01:15:06,926 --> 01:15:10,094
The tournament is canceled
but I'm sure Dan is still here.

1916
01:15:10,096 --> 01:15:11,427
[Nancy] This has to work.

1917
01:15:11,429 --> 01:15:12,962
[Frank] You heard
what those bums said,

1918
01:15:12,964 --> 01:15:15,466
we have to make these rich guys
wanna give us money.

1919
01:15:15,468 --> 01:15:17,434
Make 'em need to give it to us.

1920
01:15:17,436 --> 01:15:19,336
It's fourth in goal,
no time on the clock,

1921
01:15:19,338 --> 01:15:21,808
you got the ball,
and I'll just follow your lead.

1922
01:15:24,544 --> 01:15:26,046
[truck door opens]

1923
01:15:28,548 --> 01:15:30,079
Keep it close.

1924
01:15:30,081 --> 01:15:31,815
[keys jingle]

1925
01:15:31,817 --> 01:15:32,852
Oh no, that's not...

1926
01:15:33,852 --> 01:15:34,952
"fuck you."

1927
01:15:34,954 --> 01:15:36,186
- That's...
- [truck door closes]

1928
01:15:36,188 --> 01:15:37,423
...somebody else.

1929
01:15:38,191 --> 01:15:39,359
Can you wash it?

1930
01:15:40,258 --> 01:15:41,261
That's fine.

1931
01:15:42,495 --> 01:15:44,994
I have to go to the locker room
to clean up,

1932
01:15:44,996 --> 01:15:46,529
and put on my secret weapon.

1933
01:15:46,531 --> 01:15:47,967
- Meet you at the golf carts.
- Okay.

1934
01:15:49,869 --> 01:15:51,034
[Rachel] Okay, well then,

1935
01:15:51,036 --> 01:15:52,970
where did they go after that?

1936
01:15:52,972 --> 01:15:54,939
[scoffs]
I don't know.

1937
01:15:54,941 --> 01:15:57,878
I mean, it seems to change
every 16 minutes.

1938
01:15:58,844 --> 01:16:00,510
Frankly, I'm worried.

1939
01:16:00,512 --> 01:16:02,579
And your mother, I mean,

1940
01:16:02,581 --> 01:16:05,015
maybe you know her
better than me,

1941
01:16:05,017 --> 01:16:07,350
but she seems a little unhinged.

1942
01:16:07,352 --> 01:16:09,118
But the point is,

1943
01:16:09,120 --> 01:16:11,188
I think your surprise
birthday party

1944
01:16:11,190 --> 01:16:12,622
is a wonderful idea.

1945
01:16:12,624 --> 01:16:14,291
Have you ever seen
The Wedding Planner?

1946
01:16:14,293 --> 01:16:15,592
- [Rachel] Mm.
- With J-Lo?

1947
01:16:15,594 --> 01:16:18,162
Uh, that's short
for Jennifer Lopez.

1948
01:16:18,164 --> 01:16:20,230
Anyway, I love J-Lo,

1949
01:16:20,232 --> 01:16:22,533
and not just because she's
a fellow Latina.

1950
01:16:22,535 --> 01:16:24,400
I love her for her dancing.

1951
01:16:24,402 --> 01:16:26,269
I love her for her singing.

1952
01:16:26,271 --> 01:16:27,938
I love her for her acting.

1953
01:16:27,940 --> 01:16:29,573
But I never liked her perfume.

1954
01:16:29,575 --> 01:16:31,074
It was gross.

1955
01:16:31,076 --> 01:16:33,077
Carl...
[chuckles]

1956
01:16:33,079 --> 01:16:35,578
I don't think
we're gonna have a party.

1957
01:16:35,580 --> 01:16:37,113
I need to call my Aunt Betty...

1958
01:16:37,115 --> 01:16:38,181
[Jessie] Okay.

1959
01:16:38,183 --> 01:16:40,417
I need, like, 12 billion aspirin

1960
01:16:40,419 --> 01:16:42,286
and one ounce...
[mumbles]

1961
01:16:42,288 --> 01:16:43,354
[whispers]
Oh, my god!

1962
01:16:43,356 --> 01:16:46,090
who is this hunk
of stud hunk, oh...

1963
01:16:46,092 --> 01:16:48,058
Jessie, this is Carl.

1964
01:16:48,060 --> 01:16:49,426
He's...

1965
01:16:49,428 --> 01:16:51,261
I guess, staying with us.

1966
01:16:51,263 --> 01:16:52,997
[Jessie] Hi.

1967
01:16:52,999 --> 01:16:54,564
- I'm Jessie.
- Hi.

1968
01:16:54,566 --> 01:16:56,000
Nice to meet you.

1969
01:16:56,002 --> 01:16:57,635
[stammers]
Did you just

1970
01:16:57,637 --> 01:17:00,037
call me a "hunk of stud"?

1971
01:17:00,039 --> 01:17:01,572
If I was a shark, man,

1972
01:17:01,574 --> 01:17:02,672
I would just...

1973
01:17:02,674 --> 01:17:04,408
[hisses]
...chomp into you

1974
01:17:04,410 --> 01:17:06,213
like a little baby seal.

1975
01:17:11,918 --> 01:17:13,250
Please, God.

1976
01:17:13,252 --> 01:17:15,219
Don't let this be
a fucking dream.

1977
01:17:15,221 --> 01:17:17,324
[coughing]

1978
01:17:18,624 --> 01:17:19,993
[laughs, coughs]

1979
01:17:22,495 --> 01:17:23,560
Hey, Andy.

1980
01:17:23,562 --> 01:17:24,694
Danny boy.

1981
01:17:24,696 --> 01:17:26,229
[Nancy laughs]

1982
01:17:26,231 --> 01:17:27,530
Mm.

1983
01:17:27,532 --> 01:17:29,099
Look at that,
there's Nancy at the bar.

1984
01:17:29,101 --> 01:17:30,167
Ooh.

1985
01:17:30,169 --> 01:17:31,435
[Nancy] Salut.

1986
01:17:31,437 --> 01:17:33,369
Fancy Nancy.

1987
01:17:33,371 --> 01:17:34,438
- Hey, guys.
- [all] Oh!

1988
01:17:34,440 --> 01:17:36,105
- Hi!
- Hey, Frank.

1989
01:17:36,107 --> 01:17:38,074
- Yeah, she's having a few.
- [Nancy laughs]

1990
01:17:38,076 --> 01:17:39,976
Right now, she couldn't see
the hole in a ladder.

1991
01:17:39,978 --> 01:17:41,511
[all laugh]

1992
01:17:41,513 --> 01:17:43,180
We're both celebrating
some good news.

1993
01:17:43,182 --> 01:17:45,181
Oh, yeah?
What good news is that?

1994
01:17:45,183 --> 01:17:46,716
Some Silicon Valley news.

1995
01:17:46,718 --> 01:17:48,185
- Oh?
- Ooh.

1996
01:17:48,187 --> 01:17:50,453
Hi, guys!

1997
01:17:50,455 --> 01:17:52,221
Oh, bummer!

1998
01:17:52,223 --> 01:17:54,358
They canceled your game.

1999
01:17:54,360 --> 01:17:55,359
[Dan] I know, I know.

2000
01:17:55,361 --> 01:17:57,694
- White balls, white snow...
- Well, white balls

2001
01:17:57,696 --> 01:17:59,063
are better than blue.

2002
01:17:59,065 --> 01:18:01,064
- [all laugh]
- You ever run track?

2003
01:18:01,066 --> 01:18:03,233
- Ever run track? Ever run track?
- Mm-hm. Two.

2004
01:18:03,235 --> 01:18:04,435
[Dan chuckles]
You mean with our feet?

2005
01:18:04,437 --> 01:18:05,568
That's why
they have golf carts...

2006
01:18:05,570 --> 01:18:07,637
[Nancy]
Hey, stop right there, baby.

2007
01:18:07,639 --> 01:18:11,140
I need you to pay attention
and to focus,

2008
01:18:11,142 --> 01:18:14,110
because I'm about
to organize you.

2009
01:18:14,112 --> 01:18:15,378
Uh, baby can we talk
for a second.

2010
01:18:15,380 --> 01:18:16,447
No.

2011
01:18:16,449 --> 01:18:17,648
[Frank] No. Honey, I think...

2012
01:18:17,650 --> 01:18:20,516
I talk to you all the time,
I'm sick of talking to you.

2013
01:18:20,518 --> 01:18:23,022
I wanna talk to them.
Stop trying to control me.

2014
01:18:24,557 --> 01:18:26,092
Enjoy the moment, fellas.

2015
01:18:27,159 --> 01:18:28,725
Well,

2016
01:18:28,727 --> 01:18:32,363
I used to run
four-person relays,

2017
01:18:32,365 --> 01:18:34,264
and this is how it works.

2018
01:18:34,266 --> 01:18:36,734
The second fastest runner

2019
01:18:36,736 --> 01:18:39,036
usually starts the race.

2020
01:18:39,038 --> 01:18:42,672
That fucker needs
to get a good lead.

2021
01:18:42,674 --> 01:18:46,443
- Andy, smart, hard worker.
- Mm-hm.

2022
01:18:46,445 --> 01:18:49,246
You've earned your money.

2023
01:18:49,248 --> 01:18:50,314
Yes.

2024
01:18:50,316 --> 01:18:53,684
So, I am going to make you...

2025
01:18:53,686 --> 01:18:56,052
- [Andy grunts]
- ...the first runner.

2026
01:18:56,054 --> 01:18:57,253
- [Andy chuckles]
- Come with me.

2027
01:18:57,255 --> 01:18:58,354
[chuckles]

2028
01:18:58,356 --> 01:19:01,759
The second runner needs
to be solid,

2029
01:19:01,761 --> 01:19:04,228
and dependable.

2030
01:19:04,230 --> 01:19:05,328
That's you, Steve.

2031
01:19:05,330 --> 01:19:07,663
You've done well in Wall Street,

2032
01:19:07,665 --> 01:19:10,235
but you've never done
anything...

2033
01:19:12,103 --> 01:19:14,238
- flashy.
- [all laugh]

2034
01:19:14,240 --> 01:19:16,273
- [Nancy] I am so sorry, Rob,
- Huh?

2035
01:19:16,275 --> 01:19:21,677
but the slowest runner
always runs third.

2036
01:19:21,679 --> 01:19:23,514
I know that you're rich,

2037
01:19:23,516 --> 01:19:26,116
but it's family money, baby.

2038
01:19:26,118 --> 01:19:29,086
You need to be hungry.

2039
01:19:29,088 --> 01:19:30,653
Maybe today,

2040
01:19:30,655 --> 01:19:32,823
shock us, baby, please.

2041
01:19:32,825 --> 01:19:34,390
[Rob clears throat]

2042
01:19:34,392 --> 01:19:36,562
And you, my Danny boy.

2043
01:19:38,463 --> 01:19:41,064
- You're fourth.
- I'm never fourth.

2044
01:19:41,066 --> 01:19:44,234
But the fourth runner
it's always the fastest runner.

2045
01:19:44,236 --> 01:19:45,402
Ahh.

2046
01:19:45,404 --> 01:19:49,372
He's also the smartest runner.

2047
01:19:49,374 --> 01:19:52,643
Because he knows
what it takes to win.

2048
01:19:52,645 --> 01:19:56,646
Either dig deep to make up
for the lost time,

2049
01:19:56,648 --> 01:20:00,117
or run just fast enough
to hold the lead.

2050
01:20:00,119 --> 01:20:04,087
I was always the fourth runner.

2051
01:20:04,089 --> 01:20:07,761
Because I was very, very good.

2052
01:20:08,660 --> 01:20:11,795
So, let's stretch.

2053
01:20:11,797 --> 01:20:14,230
Warm up.

2054
01:20:14,232 --> 01:20:16,332
And assume the position.

2055
01:20:16,334 --> 01:20:17,835
Okay, now I like this part.

2056
01:20:17,837 --> 01:20:20,269
[laughs]
Isn't she something?

2057
01:20:20,271 --> 01:20:21,337
Stand up, baby.

2058
01:20:21,339 --> 01:20:23,439
So now what, we actually run?

2059
01:20:23,441 --> 01:20:26,609
Yes, and Frank is going
to tell you

2060
01:20:26,611 --> 01:20:28,511
- what's at the finish line.
- No. no, baby.

2061
01:20:28,513 --> 01:20:31,448
We have no more room
for investors...

2062
01:20:31,450 --> 01:20:32,815
- [Andy] Come on, Frank.
- [Nancy] Please, please, Frank.

2063
01:20:32,817 --> 01:20:35,885
I mean, you cannot trust
those millionaires

2064
01:20:35,887 --> 01:20:38,421
from Silicon Valley.

2065
01:20:38,423 --> 01:20:40,524
Silicon is fake,

2066
01:20:40,526 --> 01:20:43,327
like the fake silicon boobs.

2067
01:20:43,329 --> 01:20:45,229
They're fake millionaires,
they're nouveau rich!

2068
01:20:45,231 --> 01:20:46,462
It's just a pitch, it's a pitch.

2069
01:20:46,464 --> 01:20:48,398
- Now you have to tell him about
- Ah, give it up.

2070
01:20:48,400 --> 01:20:49,565
- the pig.
- Give it up. Say the pitch.

2071
01:20:49,567 --> 01:20:51,234
- Come on.
- Tell them about the pig.

2072
01:20:51,236 --> 01:20:52,536
- The pig!
- [Frank] All right, all right.

2073
01:20:52,538 --> 01:20:53,604
All right, all right.

2074
01:20:53,606 --> 01:20:54,607
Okay.

2075
01:20:55,406 --> 01:20:56,640
You know the phrase,

2076
01:20:56,642 --> 01:20:58,211
"Burn down the house
to cook the pig"?

2077
01:20:59,378 --> 01:21:00,610
You don't have a lot
of house left

2078
01:21:00,612 --> 01:21:01,780
but you have a lot
of cooked pig?

2079
01:21:03,382 --> 01:21:04,848
All the bankruptcy filings
in this country.

2080
01:21:04,850 --> 01:21:06,250
Right now,
people have lost everything.

2081
01:21:06,252 --> 01:21:07,654
They gambled
and they got wiped out.

2082
01:21:08,721 --> 01:21:10,253
Have I got your attention?

2083
01:21:10,255 --> 01:21:13,258
[foreboding music]

2084
01:21:13,726 --> 01:21:15,559
We...

2085
01:21:15,561 --> 01:21:17,860
help them sell
the barbecued pork.

2086
01:21:17,862 --> 01:21:21,700
People browse yard sales
from home.

2087
01:21:22,634 --> 01:21:24,137
It's called YardBay.

2088
01:21:25,905 --> 01:21:27,206
Yeah, baby.

2089
01:21:30,441 --> 01:21:31,444
I like it.

2090
01:21:32,178 --> 01:21:33,577
I like it.

2091
01:21:33,579 --> 01:21:34,677
Let's talk.

2092
01:21:34,679 --> 01:21:36,680
[Nancy] And the winner is...

2093
01:21:36,682 --> 01:21:37,948
Dan!

2094
01:21:37,950 --> 01:21:40,884
[Frank laughing]
My wife is so fucking drunk.

2095
01:21:40,886 --> 01:21:42,418
[Nancy]
Your acting was brilliant.

2096
01:21:42,420 --> 01:21:43,487
[Frank] Well, I couldn't have
gotten home

2097
01:21:43,489 --> 01:21:44,787
if you didn't put me
on third, baby.

2098
01:21:44,789 --> 01:21:46,189
[whispers]
I feel great.

2099
01:21:46,191 --> 01:21:47,424
Oh, it really was, wasn't it?

2100
01:21:47,426 --> 01:21:49,225
[Nancy] I just did a "Carl."

2101
01:21:49,227 --> 01:21:52,461
My crazy made you look good,
and now they want YardBay!

2102
01:21:52,463 --> 01:21:54,198
[Frank] I'm gonna call Jason.
I need to have something

2103
01:21:54,200 --> 01:21:55,933
to show Dan over lunch tomorrow.

2104
01:21:55,935 --> 01:21:57,137
[Nancy] Yes!

2105
01:21:58,236 --> 01:21:59,869
[Nancy] Oh, Frank, is it over?

2106
01:21:59,871 --> 01:22:02,706
Are we finally out
of this shitstorm?

2107
01:22:02,708 --> 01:22:04,942
I don't know how, but I think
we did it, didn't we?

2108
01:22:04,944 --> 01:22:06,846
[Frank] Who said
you can't unring a bell?

2109
01:22:08,347 --> 01:22:10,346
Mom, Dad...

2110
01:22:10,348 --> 01:22:11,415
Rachel.

2111
01:22:11,417 --> 01:22:12,849
[stammers]
I'm with...

2112
01:22:12,851 --> 01:22:14,751
And I see you've met Carl.

2113
01:22:14,753 --> 01:22:16,452
Nancy, I've been so worried.

2114
01:22:16,454 --> 01:22:18,221
Carl told me everything.

2115
01:22:18,223 --> 01:22:19,890
I've tried piecing it together,
but...

2116
01:22:19,892 --> 01:22:20,957
[stutters]

2117
01:22:20,959 --> 01:22:22,391
I don't know.

2118
01:22:22,393 --> 01:22:23,627
I called Aunt Betty.

2119
01:22:23,629 --> 01:22:25,362
She's on her way here.

2120
01:22:25,364 --> 01:22:26,329
Great.

2121
01:22:26,331 --> 01:22:29,699
- [cell phone ringing]
- Honey, it's Nigel.

2122
01:22:29,701 --> 01:22:31,236
- Yes.
- [Nancy] No.

2123
01:22:31,669 --> 01:22:32,568
Nige.

2124
01:22:32,570 --> 01:22:34,871
I'm sorry,
did you just call me "Nige"?

2125
01:22:34,873 --> 01:22:36,006
[Frank] Uh, it's possible.

2126
01:22:36,008 --> 01:22:37,841
I knew a guy
named "Adolf Dick" once,

2127
01:22:37,843 --> 01:22:39,775
- that's a tough name, isn't it?
- [Nigel] Listen.

2128
01:22:39,777 --> 01:22:42,546
I just had
an amazing conversation

2129
01:22:42,548 --> 01:22:43,680
with the police.

2130
01:22:43,682 --> 01:22:47,684
Who informed me that my house
has been burglarized!

2131
01:22:47,686 --> 01:22:49,752
I am about to board this flight,

2132
01:22:49,754 --> 01:22:52,889
and come home and start ripping
some new assholes.

2133
01:22:52,891 --> 01:22:54,558
- All right?
- [Frank] No, no.

2134
01:22:54,560 --> 01:22:56,493
They caught the culprit,
everything's back in the house.

2135
01:22:56,495 --> 01:22:58,362
It's all good
in the hood, Nigel.

2136
01:22:58,364 --> 01:22:59,563
Oh.

2137
01:22:59,565 --> 01:23:01,797
Oh, the police found him?
They didn't let me know that.

2138
01:23:01,799 --> 01:23:04,033
[Nigel] All right, listen.
I want the perpetrators.

2139
01:23:04,035 --> 01:23:05,601
I want them prosecuted.

2140
01:23:05,603 --> 01:23:07,537
And I want them
sent to jail, okay?

2141
01:23:07,539 --> 01:23:08,604
[Frank] No, no, Nigel.

2142
01:23:08,606 --> 01:23:11,707
The thief was hit by a car
and a bike and a rock.

2143
01:23:11,709 --> 01:23:12,975
[Frank]
Isn't that punishment enough?

2144
01:23:12,977 --> 01:23:16,613
You know, even 5,000 miles away,
I can still smell the bullshit.

2145
01:23:16,615 --> 01:23:17,713
I'm getting on this plane.

2146
01:23:17,715 --> 01:23:19,649
Or, I could go take a picture
of your living room

2147
01:23:19,651 --> 01:23:20,518
and send it to you.

2148
01:23:20,520 --> 01:23:23,319
And you could see
how it's pristine.

2149
01:23:23,321 --> 01:23:24,988
[man speaking
indistinctly on PA]

2150
01:23:24,990 --> 01:23:26,392
Yeah. Send it.

2151
01:23:27,593 --> 01:23:29,059
[groans]

2152
01:23:29,061 --> 01:23:31,297
[indistinct chatter]

2153
01:23:32,798 --> 01:23:36,533
Rachel, I understand
that you must be mad.

2154
01:23:36,535 --> 01:23:39,368
Mom, I'm mad
that you didn't trust me enough

2155
01:23:39,370 --> 01:23:40,973
to tell me what was going on.

2156
01:23:41,673 --> 01:23:42,708
And also...

2157
01:23:44,043 --> 01:23:46,542
I'm mad that I missed out
on seeing

2158
01:23:46,544 --> 01:23:49,412
my amazing parents in action.

2159
01:23:49,414 --> 01:23:50,716
I wish I could've been there...

2160
01:23:51,950 --> 01:23:54,454
because I'll never stop learning
from you, guys.

2161
01:23:55,954 --> 01:23:57,520
Rachel.

2162
01:23:57,522 --> 01:23:59,525
[car approaching]

2163
01:24:02,026 --> 01:24:04,396
Go upstairs to my closet.
It's now a panic room.

2164
01:24:05,897 --> 01:24:07,930
Hey, pervert.

2165
01:24:07,932 --> 01:24:09,901
What did we tell you
about coming back here?

2166
01:24:11,736 --> 01:24:12,802
[yelps]

2167
01:24:12,804 --> 01:24:13,806
[tray clinks]

2168
01:24:14,839 --> 01:24:16,038
Where's the main deviant?

2169
01:24:16,040 --> 01:24:17,107
[Rachel] Jason?

2170
01:24:17,109 --> 01:24:18,875
Don't worry, Rach.

2171
01:24:18,877 --> 01:24:20,911
- I got this.
- [Nancy] No, Jason.

2172
01:24:20,913 --> 01:24:22,778
Don't mess with these guys.

2173
01:24:22,780 --> 01:24:25,515
Frank, we have a problema!

2174
01:24:25,517 --> 01:24:26,515
No, no, no.

2175
01:24:26,517 --> 01:24:29,819
Nobody speaks to Mrs. Teagarten
like that. Huh.

2176
01:24:29,821 --> 01:24:31,387
[man 1] What you got there,
ironsides?

2177
01:24:31,389 --> 01:24:33,357
- A cap gun?
- Tasers.

2178
01:24:33,359 --> 01:24:34,623
I carry rent money.

2179
01:24:34,625 --> 01:24:35,725
[horn honks]

2180
01:24:35,727 --> 01:24:37,062
[tires screeching]

2181
01:24:38,396 --> 01:24:39,496
[car door opens]

2182
01:24:39,498 --> 01:24:41,665
Holy shit!
Those are police tasers.

2183
01:24:41,667 --> 01:24:43,600
Oh, I want that fucker.

2184
01:24:43,602 --> 01:24:44,768
- Be prepared to meet your...
- Give me one.

2185
01:24:44,770 --> 01:24:47,037
Hey, kids. What are you guys
doing here?

2186
01:24:47,039 --> 01:24:48,505
All right,
I'm just right in the middle

2187
01:24:48,507 --> 01:24:49,439
of something super important.

2188
01:24:49,441 --> 01:24:50,806
[Tristan]
We really don't fucking care.

2189
01:24:50,808 --> 01:24:51,942
[Trey] Back off,
you stupid fuck.

2190
01:24:51,944 --> 01:24:53,443
- [Tristan] Fight me!
- Who are you kids?

2191
01:24:53,445 --> 01:24:54,411
Please leave me be...

2192
01:24:54,413 --> 01:24:56,645
- Suck a fat one!
- My girlfriend is watching!

2193
01:24:56,647 --> 01:24:57,948
- Fucking pussy!
- Take the tasers.

2194
01:24:57,950 --> 01:24:59,616
You wore me down.

2195
01:24:59,618 --> 01:25:00,620
Oh, shit.

2196
01:25:02,053 --> 01:25:04,653
- Who are you?
- I'm plumber.

2197
01:25:04,655 --> 01:25:06,088
- [thwacks]
- [both grunt]

2198
01:25:06,090 --> 01:25:08,457
Ready for some shock
and awe, fuckers?

2199
01:25:08,459 --> 01:25:09,525
[Trey] Amen.

2200
01:25:09,527 --> 01:25:11,563
- [stun gun crackling]
- [groaning]

2201
01:25:12,697 --> 01:25:14,698
[Trey] Kneel before your god.

2202
01:25:14,700 --> 01:25:16,666
You guys are wonderful children.
Both of you.

2203
01:25:16,668 --> 01:25:18,103
- All right, guys.
- [both squealing]

2204
01:25:19,471 --> 01:25:20,636
All right, we're good.

2205
01:25:20,638 --> 01:25:22,738
Dad, for once, we're having
fucking fun in our lives,

2206
01:25:22,740 --> 01:25:24,006
because you never gave us
a good childhood,

2207
01:25:24,008 --> 01:25:25,811
so can you just like,
let us have fun?

2208
01:25:26,879 --> 01:25:27,943
[both groaning]

2209
01:25:27,945 --> 01:25:29,011
Pfft.

2210
01:25:29,013 --> 01:25:30,516
- [stun gun crackling]
- [screaming]

2211
01:25:33,619 --> 01:25:35,885
[groaning]

2212
01:25:35,887 --> 01:25:36,952
Nice.

2213
01:25:36,954 --> 01:25:38,188
- All right.
- Ay, mi amor.

2214
01:25:38,190 --> 01:25:39,555
- We're done.
- That was amazing.

2215
01:25:39,557 --> 01:25:40,726
Thanks, baby.

2216
01:25:42,828 --> 01:25:45,429
Okay, I understand the impulse.

2217
01:25:45,431 --> 01:25:48,165
But let's have no more
of this vigilante justice, okay?

2218
01:25:48,167 --> 01:25:50,033
We have to have law and order.
Believe me, I would know.

2219
01:25:50,035 --> 01:25:52,435
[car engine revving]

2220
01:25:52,437 --> 01:25:53,772
[tires screeching]

2221
01:25:57,942 --> 01:25:59,943
All right, listen up.

2222
01:25:59,945 --> 01:26:02,415
We've got two minutes.
Everything inside.

2223
01:26:04,749 --> 01:26:06,683
Sir, you really need to board.

2224
01:26:06,685 --> 01:26:08,020
Yeah, all right,
all right, all right.

2225
01:26:11,222 --> 01:26:12,288
All right, uh,

2226
01:26:12,290 --> 01:26:15,091
pull my bags off the plane,
I'm going to Nepal.

2227
01:26:15,093 --> 01:26:16,560
You can't be serious.

2228
01:26:16,562 --> 01:26:18,929
Yeah, hurry up. Come on, lady!
Let's go.

2229
01:26:18,931 --> 01:26:20,229
Pull the trigger on my bags.

2230
01:26:20,231 --> 01:26:21,564
Uh...

2231
01:26:21,566 --> 01:26:24,167
Airport security to Gate B31.

2232
01:26:24,169 --> 01:26:26,569
Wait, why?
'Cause I called you "lady"?

2233
01:26:26,571 --> 01:26:27,570
You said the word "trigger."

2234
01:26:27,572 --> 01:26:29,706
It's not a great word
around here, these days.

2235
01:26:29,708 --> 01:26:32,475
Oh, you called the pigs,
you fucking stupid...

2236
01:26:32,477 --> 01:26:33,344
Oh, you...

2237
01:26:33,346 --> 01:26:35,211
That... He is a lady,
that's his...

2238
01:26:35,213 --> 01:26:36,479
Oh, fuck!

2239
01:26:36,481 --> 01:26:38,081
- [ice rattles]
- [glass clinks]

2240
01:26:38,083 --> 01:26:40,082
- [cork pops]
- [trickling]

2241
01:26:40,084 --> 01:26:43,088
[lively music]

2242
01:26:54,633 --> 01:26:57,637
[lively music continues]

2243
01:26:59,504 --> 01:27:00,572
[car door opens]

2244
01:27:01,539 --> 01:27:02,973
[woman] Good luck.

2245
01:27:02,975 --> 01:27:04,174
[Nancy] Bye.

2246
01:27:04,176 --> 01:27:05,242
[Nancy] Oh, Frank.

2247
01:27:05,244 --> 01:27:08,144
[Frank] So, I can't talk you
out of this, right?

2248
01:27:08,146 --> 01:27:09,912
No, honey, you can't.

2249
01:27:09,914 --> 01:27:11,917
Good. More than good.

2250
01:27:14,553 --> 01:27:17,089
[airplane engine whirring]

2251
01:27:25,263 --> 01:27:28,467
[light music]

2252
01:27:30,602 --> 01:27:31,671
[Nancy] Is this Rose?

2253
01:27:33,605 --> 01:27:35,872
Hi Rose, I am Nancy.

2254
01:27:35,874 --> 01:27:37,607
Where's my daddy?

2255
01:27:37,609 --> 01:27:39,009
Your daddy couldn't come.

2256
01:27:39,011 --> 01:27:40,010
But he sent me to get you,

2257
01:27:40,012 --> 01:27:42,311
and you're going
to see him really, really soon.

2258
01:27:42,313 --> 01:27:43,380
Meanwhile,

2259
01:27:43,382 --> 01:27:46,582
I'm gonna be taking care of you.
Is that all right?

2260
01:27:46,584 --> 01:27:50,052
Is he in jail?
Sometimes he goes to jail.

2261
01:27:50,054 --> 01:27:53,622
You shouldn't worry about that,
you must be so tired.

2262
01:27:53,624 --> 01:27:55,527
And what about hungry,
are you hungry?

2263
01:27:57,295 --> 01:27:59,194
Thank you very much.

2264
01:27:59,196 --> 01:28:01,864
You're so brave
that you came all that way.

2265
01:28:01,866 --> 01:28:03,899
- Were you scared?
- A little.

2266
01:28:03,901 --> 01:28:07,002
[uplifting music]

2267
01:28:07,004 --> 01:28:09,842
[indistinct chatter]

2268
01:28:14,780 --> 01:28:16,246
[Trey] Turkey, turkey!

2269
01:28:16,248 --> 01:28:18,113
- [indistinct chatter]
- [laughing]

2270
01:28:18,115 --> 01:28:20,116
[clinking]

2271
01:28:20,118 --> 01:28:22,685
O. Henry once said,
that "Love and family

2272
01:28:22,687 --> 01:28:25,154
and country are nothing
but shadows of words

2273
01:28:25,156 --> 01:28:27,056
when a man is starving."

2274
01:28:27,058 --> 01:28:29,059
Uh, and today,
we are not starving.

2275
01:28:29,061 --> 01:28:30,760
Yeah. I'm glad you're all here.

2276
01:28:30,762 --> 01:28:32,362
[in sarcastic voice]
"O. Henry once said,

2277
01:28:32,364 --> 01:28:34,898
that love and family and country

2278
01:28:34,900 --> 01:28:37,600
all together is..."

2279
01:28:37,602 --> 01:28:38,737
Uh...

2280
01:28:41,706 --> 01:28:43,609
You're right. I'm a douche.

2281
01:28:45,243 --> 01:28:46,943
[laughs]
Yes!

2282
01:28:46,945 --> 01:28:48,377
Yes!

2283
01:28:48,379 --> 01:28:51,146
You most certainly are a douche.

2284
01:28:51,148 --> 01:28:53,617
[all laugh]

2285
01:28:53,619 --> 01:28:55,719
And that is the first step
towards recovery.

2286
01:28:55,721 --> 01:28:57,086
- Thank you.
- [glass clinks]

2287
01:28:57,088 --> 01:29:00,090
Okay, okay, here we go.

2288
01:29:00,092 --> 01:29:01,957
I'm thankful that we got rid

2289
01:29:01,959 --> 01:29:05,327
of our stuck up,
useless friends.

2290
01:29:05,329 --> 01:29:07,896
Our new ones
are a little strange,

2291
01:29:07,898 --> 01:29:10,800
but they are true friends.

2292
01:29:10,802 --> 01:29:15,404
I am so thankful that I married
the love of my life.

2293
01:29:15,406 --> 01:29:20,743
And that I know my Frank and I
can overcome anything,

2294
01:29:20,745 --> 01:29:22,347
as long as we are together.

2295
01:29:23,181 --> 01:29:24,346
[mouths]
I love you.

2296
01:29:24,348 --> 01:29:26,686
[Nancy] Rose, Rachel.

2297
01:29:27,686 --> 01:29:30,686
Thank god for Baby Ruths.

2298
01:29:30,688 --> 01:29:31,988
[all laughing]

2299
01:29:31,990 --> 01:29:33,390
Okay, who's hungry?

2300
01:29:33,392 --> 01:29:34,858
Me.

2301
01:29:34,860 --> 01:29:36,027
For my new friend.

2302
01:29:36,828 --> 01:29:39,194
[laughing]

2303
01:29:39,196 --> 01:29:42,765
♪ Welcome back
You've been gone so long ♪

2304
01:29:42,767 --> 01:29:44,199
[Frank] Well, that's our story.

2305
01:29:44,201 --> 01:29:46,403
Frank and Nancy lived
in Jason's trailer court

2306
01:29:46,405 --> 01:29:47,738
for a while.

2307
01:29:47,740 --> 01:29:50,239
And Frank took the job
snipping catalytic converters.

2308
01:29:50,241 --> 01:29:52,108
He's pretty darn good at it.

2309
01:29:52,110 --> 01:29:53,342
They rented the house to Carl,

2310
01:29:53,344 --> 01:29:55,811
and they all worked
night and day on YardBay.

2311
01:29:55,813 --> 01:29:59,314
Last time we checked,
it was getting pretty darn huge.

2312
01:29:59,316 --> 01:30:01,451
And it all started
when they got drunk.

2313
01:30:01,453 --> 01:30:03,185
And because they were drunk,

2314
01:30:03,187 --> 01:30:06,021
drunk with love
for their daughter.

2315
01:30:06,023 --> 01:30:07,323
And like the saying goes,

2316
01:30:07,325 --> 01:30:10,460
"A drunk man's actions
are a sober man's thoughts."

2317
01:30:10,462 --> 01:30:13,098
They were drunk parents.

2318
01:30:13,964 --> 01:30:15,864
♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪

2319
01:30:15,866 --> 01:30:18,368
♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪

2320
01:30:18,370 --> 01:30:20,002
♪ Welcome home ♪

2321
01:30:20,004 --> 01:30:22,204
♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪

2322
01:30:22,206 --> 01:30:23,707
♪ Welcome home ♪

2323
01:30:23,709 --> 01:30:26,842
♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪

2324
01:30:26,844 --> 01:30:28,744
♪ Oh ♪

2325
01:30:28,746 --> 01:30:30,713
♪ Oh ♪

2326
01:30:30,715 --> 01:30:33,248
♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪

2327
01:30:33,250 --> 01:30:34,850
♪ Welcome home ♪

2328
01:30:34,852 --> 01:30:38,354
♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪

2329
01:30:38,356 --> 01:30:41,725
♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪

2330
01:30:41,727 --> 01:30:42,828
♪ Oh ♪

2331
01:30:43,428 --> 01:30:45,327
♪ Oh ♪

2332
01:30:45,329 --> 01:30:49,167
♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪

2333
01:30:50,468 --> 01:30:53,672
[lively music]

2334
01:30:53,674 --> 01:30:58,674
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