1
00:00:08,617 --> 00:00:10,899
All right, I
think it's recording.
2
00:00:10,923 --> 00:00:13,119
Wait, I'm not ready yet.
- Just be in the moment.
3
00:00:13,143 --> 00:00:15,687
Just do what we normally
do when we have sex.
4
00:00:15,711 --> 00:00:17,254
What do we normally do?
5
00:00:17,278 --> 00:00:18,627
We just do it.
6
00:00:20,063 --> 00:00:21,867
Ouč! - Shit,
I'm sorry. - Gosh!
7
00:00:21,891 --> 00:00:23,897
Should I put my
hair up? - Sure.
8
00:00:23,980 --> 00:00:25,488
Maybe we don't have to kiss.
9
00:00:25,982 --> 00:00:28,182
Ow, ow, ow. Hey, ow, ow,
ow, you're pulling my hair.
10
00:00:28,206 --> 00:00:29,788
No, the other hair.
11
00:00:29,812 --> 00:00:31,825
Okay, you're
still fucking it up.
12
00:00:31,988 --> 00:00:35,960
Jesus, God, don't judge me.
This is very vulnerable.
13
00:00:36,340 --> 00:00:38,849
Okay, we just
need to find a rhythm.
14
00:00:39,952 --> 00:00:42,703
Hey... Ow, ow, hey, you're...
15
00:00:43,086 --> 00:00:44,878
My head's... could
you pull me down?
16
00:00:44,913 --> 00:00:45,891
Here, here.
17
00:00:45,915 --> 00:00:49,015
No, don't French kiss
my neck, just kiss my neck.
18
00:00:49,266 --> 00:00:50,896
I don't think that
this is happening.
19
00:00:50,920 --> 00:00:53,048
Aren't you supposed
to fake it, at least?
20
00:00:57,535 --> 00:00:58,722
Happy?
21
00:01:01,107 --> 00:01:02,808
SOCIAL ANIMALS
22
00:02:20,488 --> 00:02:22,683
Habits define
exactly who we are.
23
00:02:22,707 --> 00:02:25,382
They exhibit our
personalities, our behavior.
24
00:02:25,406 --> 00:02:29,255
Routines regulate our
efficiency or inefficiency.
25
00:02:29,279 --> 00:02:31,953
One's habits affect
their perception of others
26
00:02:31,977 --> 00:02:35,633
and most importantly,
their perception of themselves.
27
00:02:36,528 --> 00:02:37,759
THIS IS ZOE
28
00:02:38,029 --> 00:02:39,207
FAVORITE POSITION: Missionary
29
00:02:39,503 --> 00:02:41,312
The receiving partner lies on
his/her back with legs apart,
30
00:02:41,679 --> 00:02:43,158
while the penetrating
partner lies on top.
31
00:02:44,246 --> 00:02:46,266
SHE LOVES POLAROID PICTURES
32
00:02:49,887 --> 00:02:52,448
SHE'S NEVER BEEN IN LOVE
33
00:02:56,994 --> 00:02:58,275
House of Wax
34
00:02:58,275 --> 00:02:59,980
ZOE'S NEW BUSINESS IS FAILING
35
00:03:02,110 --> 00:03:03,800
HER COMPETITION
36
00:03:04,512 --> 00:03:05,889
LASER TOWN
NOW OPEN!
37
00:03:07,937 --> 00:03:10,475
VULCAN
VIDEO
38
00:03:18,807 --> 00:03:20,437
It's hot as balls here.
39
00:03:20,461 --> 00:03:22,506
Hmm, global warming?
40
00:03:24,204 --> 00:03:26,182
More like just Texas, you know?
41
00:03:26,206 --> 00:03:29,185
You think when you get
married still actually gonna do this?
42
00:03:29,209 --> 00:03:32,100
Or are you gonna like
spawn and join the PTA and shit?
43
00:03:32,124 --> 00:03:34,305
Oh, yeah, because
that's totally who I am.
44
00:03:34,953 --> 00:03:36,690
Minivan and all.
45
00:03:36,690 --> 00:03:37,905
THIS IS CLAIRE
(ZOE'S BFF)
46
00:03:38,377 --> 00:03:39,639
FAVORITE POSITION: Woman on Top
47
00:03:40,030 --> 00:03:42,775
The penetrating partner lies on
her back with the receiving partner on top.
48
00:03:43,797 --> 00:03:46,044
SHE MENAGES LOCAL MUSICIANS
49
00:03:47,269 --> 00:03:48,599
AND SHE'S ENGAGED
50
00:03:50,532 --> 00:03:52,654
TO A REPUBLICAN
51
00:03:52,884 --> 00:03:55,864
No, but you're a closet-normal
person, for sure. - I agree.
52
00:03:56,061 --> 00:03:59,617
P.S., Lana seems happy...
- Mmm. - In pictures.
53
00:03:59,630 --> 00:04:01,992
In a very, like,
contrived way, of course.
54
00:04:02,027 --> 00:04:03,832
Other people's
happiness disturbs me.
55
00:04:04,461 --> 00:04:05,786
You're a hopeless romantic.
56
00:04:05,810 --> 00:04:07,730
No, I just don't
understand what the big deal is.
57
00:04:07,754 --> 00:04:10,791
Like, the marriage
thing, the baby thing.
58
00:04:10,815 --> 00:04:12,824
It's like, not everybody's
version of normal.
59
00:04:12,859 --> 00:04:14,866
Oh, please, you're
gonna end up with like five.
60
00:04:15,559 --> 00:04:16,791
How long have you known me?
61
00:04:17,039 --> 00:04:18,886
Like a hundred years.
62
00:04:18,910 --> 00:04:21,470
And have I ever once said that I
want to have a baby or a husband?
63
00:04:21,494 --> 00:04:24,584
No, but to be fair, I'm,
like, drunk half the time.
64
00:04:26,135 --> 00:04:29,332
This is just that whole turning
30 drama everybody talks about.
65
00:04:29,356 --> 00:04:33,510
Just let it fall over you like
a warm blanket on a cold day.
66
00:04:33,534 --> 00:04:35,686
I see your blanket,
I twist it, tie it in a knot,
67
00:04:35,710 --> 00:04:37,253
hang myself with it,
68
00:04:37,277 --> 00:04:38,732
and then I address
a note that says,
69
00:04:38,756 --> 00:04:39,931
"This is all your fault."
70
00:04:40,758 --> 00:04:42,258
That's a lot.
71
00:04:42,282 --> 00:04:43,911
Are your eyes gonna
go cross like that, too?
72
00:04:43,935 --> 00:04:46,135
I don't know, I can't really
predict how my eyes will be.
73
00:04:46,159 --> 00:04:47,519
But I'll definitely
stare you down.
74
00:05:24,759 --> 00:05:26,867
Zoe, are you serious?
75
00:05:26,891 --> 00:05:29,174
Oh, hey, Jay, good morning.
76
00:05:29,198 --> 00:05:30,915
You're practically naked out here.
77
00:05:30,939 --> 00:05:33,004
I got kids inside.
You get that, right?
78
00:05:33,028 --> 00:05:35,920
You know what? I can, like, get
a curtain from IKEA or something.
79
00:05:35,944 --> 00:05:39,445
Zoe, as your landlord...
- Whoa, actually, I own my house.
80
00:05:39,469 --> 00:05:41,491
So, you're not my landlord.
81
00:05:41,515 --> 00:05:44,015
Yeah, and I own the
ground that it's parked on.
82
00:05:44,039 --> 00:05:45,973
I own this whole lawn.
83
00:05:45,997 --> 00:05:48,411
But who really
owns the ground?
84
00:05:48,435 --> 00:05:51,327
You are two weeks
behind on rent this month.
85
00:05:51,351 --> 00:05:52,806
I'm so sorry.
86
00:05:52,830 --> 00:05:56,070
I need you to pay
me to use this ground.
87
00:05:56,094 --> 00:05:59,030
Hey, Jay, you know I can
hear the words you're saying.
88
00:05:59,054 --> 00:06:01,206
You don't also have to
act them out with your hands.
89
00:06:01,230 --> 00:06:03,469
Excuse me if my
expressions are intimidating.
90
00:06:03,493 --> 00:06:05,341
Because I need you to pay me.
91
00:06:05,365 --> 00:06:07,085
Yeah, sure, we can
talk about this tomorrow.
92
00:06:07,109 --> 00:06:08,522
You know what? I'm
actually running a little late
93
00:06:08,546 --> 00:06:10,607
to a wedding, so...
- You can pay me tomorrow.
94
00:06:10,631 --> 00:06:12,783
You can hand me an
envelope of money tomorrow,
95
00:06:12,807 --> 00:06:16,134
or you can find a new place
to park your tiny home, okay?
96
00:06:16,158 --> 00:06:17,377
Cool, great.
97
00:06:18,290 --> 00:06:20,162
Wait, does it have to be cash?
98
00:06:37,875 --> 00:06:39,549
This...
99
00:06:39,573 --> 00:06:41,377
could not have
happened to a nicer couple.
100
00:06:41,401 --> 00:06:43,074
No, actually, it
totally could have.
101
00:06:43,098 --> 00:06:44,597
"Really goin" for it.
102
00:06:44,621 --> 00:06:46,382
This is like pornographic.
103
00:06:46,406 --> 00:06:48,209
Oh, Lana, is this it.
Is this it?
104
00:06:48,233 --> 00:06:51,075
Oh, Peter. - Should
I get my head lamp on?
105
00:06:51,889 --> 00:06:54,172
Did she just cum?
- I think the mom did.
106
00:06:54,196 --> 00:06:55,565
Great job!
107
00:06:55,589 --> 00:06:57,175
I just missed it.
108
00:06:57,199 --> 00:07:01,309
All right, thank you to every
one for being here on our big day.
109
00:07:01,333 --> 00:07:03,834
We really appreciate all of you.
110
00:07:03,858 --> 00:07:09,145
But now I'm gonna
need all the single ladies!
111
00:07:09,180 --> 00:07:11,015
Get up here!
112
00:07:11,039 --> 00:07:14,148
Yeah, and it's you.
113
00:07:14,172 --> 00:07:16,586
You're single, Sarah,
by the way. - Now, you go up.
114
00:07:16,610 --> 00:07:18,570
Yeah, but after what
happened at the last wedding,
115
00:07:18,594 --> 00:07:20,503
I'm just tryin' to
mind my P's and Q's.
116
00:07:20,527 --> 00:07:22,722
Uh-oh, I see you.
117
00:07:22,746 --> 00:07:25,682
I see some single ladies
hiding out in the back there!
118
00:07:25,706 --> 00:07:27,118
Zoe...
119
00:07:27,142 --> 00:07:29,884
I know you're single!
120
00:07:31,842 --> 00:07:34,734
Zoe! Zoe! Zoe!
121
00:07:34,758 --> 00:07:37,631
Zoe. Come on up!
122
00:07:41,548 --> 00:07:43,047
Get up here!
123
00:07:43,071 --> 00:07:44,396
I fuckin' hate myself.
124
00:07:44,420 --> 00:07:48,052
If anyone gets in
your way, duck and hit.
125
00:07:48,076 --> 00:07:50,924
Last wedding, I got
arrested because I hit somebody,
126
00:07:50,948 --> 00:07:52,341
I didn't duck.
127
00:07:54,125 --> 00:07:55,866
All right, let's do this!
128
00:07:56,650 --> 00:08:00,088
One, two, three.
129
00:08:31,380 --> 00:08:33,208
Shit!
130
00:09:02,977 --> 00:09:04,911
No.
- Hold up.
131
00:09:04,935 --> 00:09:06,347
We scheduled this.
132
00:09:06,371 --> 00:09:08,306
It's on the joint calendar.
133
00:09:08,330 --> 00:09:10,395
Okay, well, you know.
134
00:09:10,419 --> 00:09:13,311
Same time next week,
that bell goes off, I'm all yours.
135
00:09:13,335 --> 00:09:15,139
You said that last week.
136
00:09:15,163 --> 00:09:17,141
It's been like three months.
137
00:09:17,165 --> 00:09:18,969
Oh, God, okay, fine.
138
00:09:18,993 --> 00:09:20,187
But can you be quick?
139
00:09:20,211 --> 00:09:21,491
I have a meeting in the morning.
140
00:09:22,160 --> 00:09:23,546
THIS IS PAUL & JANE
141
00:09:24,545 --> 00:09:26,058
FAVORITE POSITION: Spoons
142
00:09:26,435 --> 00:09:28,563
The two partners lie down
on the same side, like spoons.
143
00:09:28,922 --> 00:09:30,586
The man is pressed against the woman's
back and penetrates her from behind.
144
00:09:31,196 --> 00:09:32,513
PAUL OWNS THE VIDEO
STORE ACROSS FROM ZOE'S
145
00:09:32,777 --> 00:09:34,459
JANE IS A VERY SERIOUS LAWER
146
00:09:35,073 --> 00:09:36,514
SHE SUPPORTS THE WHOLE FAMILY
147
00:09:37,167 --> 00:09:38,572
INCLUDING PAUL
148
00:09:45,933 --> 00:09:47,127
Oh, my God!
149
00:09:47,151 --> 00:09:48,825
The condo's going up next door!
150
00:09:48,849 --> 00:09:52,306
I have reported them multiple
times for working after 9:00...
151
00:09:52,330 --> 00:09:54,787
Just forget about it.
152
00:09:54,811 --> 00:09:57,224
Zone out.
153
00:09:57,248 --> 00:09:58,728
All we need is right here.
154
00:09:59,860 --> 00:10:01,296
Okay. Okay.
155
00:10:03,603 --> 00:10:05,015
I'm zoning out.
156
00:10:05,039 --> 00:10:06,257
Zone it out.
157
00:10:08,390 --> 00:10:11,543
I swear if one more artisanal
cupcake shop goes on our block,
158
00:10:11,567 --> 00:10:14,154
I'm gonna lose
my goddamn mind.
159
00:10:14,178 --> 00:10:15,527
I'm...
160
00:10:16,790 --> 00:10:20,054
I'm sorry, I can't.
I just... I can't.
161
00:10:22,317 --> 00:10:23,971
Maybe you should have an affair.
162
00:10:33,023 --> 00:10:38,352
Reaganomics, higher
taxes, school prayer.
163
00:10:38,376 --> 00:10:41,657
Is this the 2000
Convention? - Yep.
164
00:10:41,692 --> 00:10:43,465
Where did you get this on BluRay?
165
00:10:43,500 --> 00:10:47,607
YouTube, and then I had my
IT guy at work burn it for you.
166
00:10:55,350 --> 00:10:58,777
Honey, just let me
see this one part.
167
00:11:09,451 --> 00:11:11,995
You know, Lana told me that
you don't have a lot of customers.
168
00:11:12,019 --> 00:11:14,693
So I just want to
support another business.
169
00:11:14,717 --> 00:11:18,436
Oh, well, that was
nice of her, I guess.
170
00:11:18,460 --> 00:11:21,526
I actually own Forbidden
fruit down the street.
171
00:11:21,550 --> 00:11:23,049
Oh, the sex shop.
172
00:11:23,073 --> 00:11:24,877
Adult marketplace. Oh.
173
00:11:24,901 --> 00:11:28,272
People have told me they never
quite seen anything like my vagina.
174
00:11:28,296 --> 00:11:31,516
And I choose to take
that as a compliment.
175
00:11:33,214 --> 00:11:35,583
Whoo, I lost my
visor on that one!
176
00:11:35,607 --> 00:11:38,108
That was a good one.
Very satisfying.
177
00:11:38,132 --> 00:11:40,458
Oh, yeah, you
feel good? - Yeah.
178
00:11:40,482 --> 00:11:44,244
I'm just in that state of
mind where I'm like, full bush!
179
00:11:44,268 --> 00:11:45,942
I go out in my
bathing suit like,
180
00:11:45,966 --> 00:11:48,858
I've had a couple
children point at it and say,
181
00:11:48,882 --> 00:11:50,642
"What's that, Mom?"
182
00:11:50,666 --> 00:11:52,862
Oh, my God!
183
00:11:52,886 --> 00:11:56,237
I think I'm dying.
My pussy is on fire!
184
00:11:57,542 --> 00:12:00,347
I am gonna titty
punch you! - Okay.
185
00:12:00,371 --> 00:12:03,133
Zoe, do you want to
just come over here
186
00:12:03,157 --> 00:12:04,985
and hold me for a second?
187
00:12:06,856 --> 00:12:08,268
Ms. Crandle, I'm so sorry.
188
00:12:08,292 --> 00:12:10,270
But we're gonna have
to reject your application
189
00:12:10,294 --> 00:12:12,403
for a small-business loan today.
190
00:12:12,427 --> 00:12:13,839
Darn. But I can offer you
191
00:12:13,863 --> 00:12:16,189
one of these
fantastic drink koozies.
192
00:12:16,213 --> 00:12:17,538
Compliments of the bank.
193
00:12:17,562 --> 00:12:20,193
Oh, great, yes.
Because the drink koozy
194
00:12:20,217 --> 00:12:22,369
is really gonna take
the edge off the complete
195
00:12:22,393 --> 00:12:23,849
and total destruction of my life.
196
00:12:23,873 --> 00:12:25,633
Maybe you can
try someplace else?
197
00:12:25,657 --> 00:12:28,201
Maybe you have
some friends or family?
198
00:12:28,225 --> 00:12:30,271
What about...
what about your parents?
199
00:13:09,145 --> 00:13:10,853
CRANDLE
LYNNE and RAYMOND
200
00:13:11,333 --> 00:13:13,174
ZOE CRANDLE
DAUGHTER
201
00:13:18,101 --> 00:13:20,688
If he's cheating on me,
I need to step my game up.
202
00:13:20,712 --> 00:13:22,647
I have been
watching only PornTube,
203
00:13:22,671 --> 00:13:24,736
like, literally all the time.
204
00:13:24,760 --> 00:13:26,477
Oh, I really like
PornTube, you know?
205
00:13:26,501 --> 00:13:28,740
There's something
very Warhol about it.
206
00:13:28,764 --> 00:13:30,133
Yeah, right?
207
00:13:30,157 --> 00:13:33,353
I mean, a babysitter
anal series is like super artsy.
208
00:13:33,377 --> 00:13:37,793
Okay, Claire... why
don't you just end it?
209
00:13:37,817 --> 00:13:40,491
Okay, I found someone.
210
00:13:40,515 --> 00:13:42,319
Someone who's great on paper
211
00:13:42,343 --> 00:13:44,408
and looks good
next to me in pictures.
212
00:13:44,432 --> 00:13:47,043
Someone who wants to marry
me even though I'm, you know,
213
00:13:47,914 --> 00:13:50,762
me and everything.
214
00:13:50,786 --> 00:13:52,919
Right? When you love
someone, you fight for it.
215
00:13:54,529 --> 00:13:56,009
Even if it feels wrong.
216
00:14:02,232 --> 00:14:04,645
It's beautiful, right?
217
00:14:04,669 --> 00:14:08,258
I mean, it will be when
we put it on a dimmer.
218
00:14:08,282 --> 00:14:09,868
Are we looking at
the same thing here?
219
00:14:09,892 --> 00:14:11,565
Don't do this.
220
00:14:11,589 --> 00:14:14,133
Jane, I can't even
walk under it.
221
00:14:14,157 --> 00:14:16,832
I'm gonna smash
into this thing one day.
222
00:14:16,856 --> 00:14:20,313
This thing is set
up for me to lose.
223
00:14:20,337 --> 00:14:23,316
Have you noticed that it's
getting harder and harder
224
00:14:23,340 --> 00:14:25,212
to walk around our house?
225
00:14:26,561 --> 00:14:28,495
Yeah, well, have you noticed,
226
00:14:28,519 --> 00:14:31,150
since we're, you
know, spit-balling here,
227
00:14:31,174 --> 00:14:33,457
that the towels in the
bathroom are always a mess?
228
00:14:33,481 --> 00:14:35,894
No. - You have
a towel thing.
229
00:14:35,918 --> 00:14:38,375
I have a towel thing?
- Yes, you have a towel thing.
230
00:14:38,399 --> 00:14:42,621
The hand towels are always askew
and it drives me up a fucking wall.
231
00:14:42,707 --> 00:14:43,752
Okay.
232
00:14:45,319 --> 00:14:49,734
Okay, no more
askew towels, got it.
233
00:14:49,758 --> 00:14:52,911
Have you given any thought
to what I said the other night?
234
00:14:52,935 --> 00:14:55,287
What?
- Having an affair.
235
00:14:55,720 --> 00:14:57,394
No.
236
00:14:57,418 --> 00:14:58,699
Maybe I'm not joking.
237
00:14:58,723 --> 00:14:59,918
People do that, right?
238
00:14:59,942 --> 00:15:03,095
They open up the
marriage to save it?
239
00:15:03,119 --> 00:15:05,315
I don't know, maybe
we could be those people.
240
00:15:05,339 --> 00:15:07,839
Yeah, I don't wanna
be those kind of people.
241
00:15:07,863 --> 00:15:12,650
I wanna be the kind of
person that's just for you.
242
00:15:14,217 --> 00:15:16,176
Mmm.
243
00:15:19,396 --> 00:15:22,072
Oh, my God!
244
00:16:34,297 --> 00:16:36,430
Don't fuck him, he's a client.
245
00:16:48,985 --> 00:16:50,717
ZOE'S MAIL
246
00:17:07,417 --> 00:17:09,263
ZOE!
If I don't have the rent
247
00:17:09,665 --> 00:17:11,327
by freday, this is
your 30 day notice!!!
Tay
248
00:17:30,266 --> 00:17:31,702
Do you want
any help with that?
249
00:17:32,921 --> 00:17:34,942
No, I think I got it.
250
00:17:34,966 --> 00:17:37,293
Just let me know if it's even.
251
00:17:37,317 --> 00:17:41,036
It's even just pull
it tight, much tighter.
252
00:17:41,060 --> 00:17:42,428
The weather in
Texas changes a lot.
253
00:17:42,452 --> 00:17:44,343
You don't want
anybody to miss this.
254
00:17:44,367 --> 00:17:45,412
How's that?
255
00:17:46,978 --> 00:17:49,503
Ah, perfect.
256
00:17:50,678 --> 00:17:52,375
It's a little on the nose.
257
00:17:53,705 --> 00:17:54,586
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS
258
00:17:54,621 --> 00:17:57,081
Yeah, I was going
for simple and sad.
259
00:17:57,116 --> 00:17:59,721
Oh, well, I think you nailed it.
- Yeah, I feel good about it.
260
00:17:59,756 --> 00:18:01,898
You want to come in?
261
00:18:02,211 --> 00:18:04,581
I mean, if you're open.
262
00:18:04,605 --> 00:18:05,969
We're open now.
263
00:18:08,043 --> 00:18:09,890
I can't believe
this place is closing.
264
00:18:09,914 --> 00:18:11,718
You know, I love Paul's Picks?
265
00:18:11,742 --> 00:18:15,374
Paul does have exquisite taste.
266
00:18:15,398 --> 00:18:17,420
You're Paul, aren't you?
- Paul, nice to meet you.
267
00:18:17,444 --> 00:18:19,663
Hi, I'm Zoe.
- Hi, Zoe.
268
00:18:21,230 --> 00:18:25,993
So are these alphabetized or...
- I sort of have my own system going.
269
00:18:26,017 --> 00:18:28,300
I've seen pretty
much every film here.
270
00:18:28,324 --> 00:18:30,346
So it forces people
to ask me questions.
271
00:18:30,370 --> 00:18:32,285
Which is nice,
because I get a little lonely.
272
00:18:33,895 --> 00:18:35,786
Well, not to
sound like a stalker.
273
00:18:35,810 --> 00:18:38,413
But I saw you all alone
274
00:18:38,448 --> 00:18:40,468
at Lana's super boring wedding.
275
00:18:40,684 --> 00:18:43,446
Yeah, I was with my wife.
276
00:18:43,470 --> 00:18:48,581
She was in the Delta
Gamma thing with her.
277
00:18:48,605 --> 00:18:49,627
Were you in that?
278
00:18:49,911 --> 00:18:52,436
No, no, I'm not a joiner.
279
00:18:52,471 --> 00:18:54,761
I majored in
ass-sitting college,
280
00:18:54,785 --> 00:18:57,546
and by college, I
mean, I did not go.
281
00:18:57,581 --> 00:19:00,747
Hmm. I did.
Majored in philosophy.
282
00:19:00,782 --> 00:19:02,836
Hmm. - And now
I have all of this.
283
00:19:03,794 --> 00:19:05,250
For not that much longer.
284
00:19:05,274 --> 00:19:06,904
Hey, don't be
so hard on yourself.
285
00:19:06,928 --> 00:19:08,514
It's not your fault,
it's the economy
286
00:19:08,538 --> 00:19:10,777
and you know all
that crap I fall asleep to
287
00:19:10,801 --> 00:19:13,867
while listening
to CNN. - Mmm.
288
00:19:13,891 --> 00:19:16,348
Well, I got a few
more months on my lease.
289
00:19:16,372 --> 00:19:19,308
I figure, why not
revel in my failure?
290
00:19:19,332 --> 00:19:22,789
That's a good plan, Paul.
291
00:19:22,813 --> 00:19:26,628
I do that, like, all the time.
So, welcome to the club.
292
00:19:27,166 --> 00:19:28,795
Thanks.
293
00:19:28,819 --> 00:19:31,494
I own the waxing
business across the street.
294
00:19:31,518 --> 00:19:34,149
So if you ever need any
detail work on your bikini line...
295
00:19:34,173 --> 00:19:36,063
Yeah, I might take
you up on that.
296
00:19:36,087 --> 00:19:37,369
Cool. - It's a
mess down there.
297
00:19:37,393 --> 00:19:40,716
Well, it was nice
to meet you, Paul.
298
00:19:40,831 --> 00:19:42,944
You, too, Zoe.
- So, I'll see you later.
299
00:19:43,486 --> 00:19:46,592
Fuck, who put that there?
300
00:19:46,620 --> 00:19:48,622
I did.
- There.
301
00:19:51,059 --> 00:19:52,059
Bye, Zoe.
302
00:19:53,583 --> 00:19:54,584
Bye, Paul.
303
00:20:01,767 --> 00:20:02,943
HILLSIDE FARMACY
304
00:20:03,854 --> 00:20:05,963
So how do you know
that Jim's gonna be here?
305
00:20:05,987 --> 00:20:08,705
I've traced all of his credit
card receipts back to this place,
306
00:20:08,729 --> 00:20:10,315
he's here every Tuesday at noon.
307
00:20:10,339 --> 00:20:13,057
You're such a
psychopath. - Whatever.
308
00:20:13,081 --> 00:20:14,754
Oh, my God.
I see him, I see him,
309
00:20:14,778 --> 00:20:17,148
Oh, my God, was he with
anyone? - I don't know, I panicked.
310
00:20:17,172 --> 00:20:18,671
We need to get closer.
311
00:20:18,695 --> 00:20:20,238
You know some people go
to lunch just to have lunch?
312
00:20:20,262 --> 00:20:22,382
Well, we're not some people
and I need you to walk by.
313
00:20:22,406 --> 00:20:23,720
I don't want to.
314
00:20:23,744 --> 00:20:25,833
Zoe, I need you to walk by.
315
00:20:43,024 --> 00:20:44,610
To-go containers.
316
00:20:44,634 --> 00:20:45,722
You ready to go?
317
00:20:46,309 --> 00:20:47,309
Wanna get a drink?
318
00:20:47,333 --> 00:20:48,919
It's noon, I have to work.
319
00:20:48,943 --> 00:20:49,943
So?
320
00:20:54,731 --> 00:20:56,231
He's not cheating on me, right?
321
00:20:56,255 --> 00:20:58,668
No.
- No, right?
322
00:20:58,692 --> 00:21:00,235
No way.
323
00:21:00,259 --> 00:21:02,976
I mean, there aren't
even enough hours in the day.
324
00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:05,109
Yeah, who has the time for that?
325
00:21:05,133 --> 00:21:06,937
You know what I realized?
326
00:21:06,961 --> 00:21:08,808
I want to find a soulmate.
327
00:21:08,832 --> 00:21:10,897
But my house is only
big enough for one person.
328
00:21:10,921 --> 00:21:13,509
Hmm. - Unless they
get on top of me.
329
00:21:13,533 --> 00:21:16,076
So then, I guess, like, you
can fit more people in there
330
00:21:16,100 --> 00:21:17,610
if somebody gets on top of them.
331
00:21:17,624 --> 00:21:19,756
And you could just,
like, keep stacking people.
332
00:21:20,061 --> 00:21:22,610
So, the ceiling's the limit.
333
00:21:22,716 --> 00:21:25,844
Unless you built
a sunroof. - Yeah.
334
00:21:26,197 --> 00:21:29,573
Okay, so he's definitely
not cheating on me, right?
335
00:21:29,723 --> 00:21:31,048
I have nothing to worry about.
336
00:21:31,072 --> 00:21:35,772
Not a thing to worry about.
- Definitely not. - Uh-uh.
337
00:21:38,732 --> 00:21:40,342
I mean, unless he is.
338
00:21:42,736 --> 00:21:44,322
So, we're seriously doing this?
339
00:21:44,346 --> 00:21:46,150
We're going through
your fiance's trash
340
00:21:46,174 --> 00:21:47,456
in the middle of the night?
341
00:21:47,480 --> 00:21:49,022
Okay, when a man enters you,
342
00:21:49,046 --> 00:21:51,373
you have a right to his garbage.
343
00:21:51,397 --> 00:21:53,157
You know what? I'm going in.
344
00:21:53,181 --> 00:21:54,811
What? No.
345
00:21:54,835 --> 00:21:56,856
No, that's breaking
and entering.
346
00:21:56,880 --> 00:21:58,989
I'm not breaking,
I'm just entering.
347
00:21:59,013 --> 00:22:00,928
Wait, Claire!
348
00:22:04,018 --> 00:22:05,387
Claire!
349
00:22:05,411 --> 00:22:06,411
Claire!
350
00:22:11,634 --> 00:22:13,569
Why are we
searching the kitchen?
351
00:22:13,593 --> 00:22:16,422
Because it is the last place
anyone would think to look.
352
00:22:17,858 --> 00:22:20,097
I don't know, clean
people don't cheat.
353
00:22:20,121 --> 00:22:21,751
His maid comes twice a week.
354
00:22:23,102 --> 00:22:24,404
Maybe he's fucking her.
355
00:22:24,604 --> 00:22:27,626
Hey, that'd be kinda brilliant.
She could just clean up afterward.
356
00:22:27,650 --> 00:22:29,348
Ugh, that's not funny.
357
00:22:31,959 --> 00:22:33,806
Wait, are you
sniffing his clothes?
358
00:22:33,830 --> 00:22:36,722
Well, if I don't sniff for vanilla
musk and scan for body glitter,
359
00:22:36,746 --> 00:22:39,116
how do I know if he's
been to a strip club?
360
00:22:39,140 --> 00:22:40,750
I'll allow it.
- Thank you.
361
00:22:45,625 --> 00:22:49,619
Oh, things just got... weird.
362
00:22:51,718 --> 00:22:53,913
Oh, my God, Zoe,
take off the mask.
363
00:22:53,937 --> 00:22:56,176
Zoe, take off the mask!
364
00:22:56,200 --> 00:22:58,333
Zoe, take off the fucking mask!
365
00:22:59,508 --> 00:23:00,944
Oh, my God.
366
00:23:01,684 --> 00:23:02,772
Oh.
367
00:23:14,349 --> 00:23:16,264
All right, Nate. Nate, stop.
368
00:23:16,873 --> 00:23:19,243
Stop. Stay.
369
00:23:19,267 --> 00:23:21,724
Look, buddy, it
would be so awesome
370
00:23:21,748 --> 00:23:24,030
if you would just
stop the dog thing.
371
00:23:24,054 --> 00:23:26,032
Because you're
not a dog, Nathan.
372
00:23:26,056 --> 00:23:28,624
You're a kid, and
you're a great kid.
373
00:23:29,364 --> 00:23:30,713
So, what do you say?
374
00:23:32,715 --> 00:23:35,675
Stand up and walk
on your own two feet?
375
00:23:39,069 --> 00:23:40,525
He bit me, dude.
376
00:23:40,549 --> 00:23:42,159
I know, but he's so cute.
377
00:23:43,204 --> 00:23:44,703
We make awesome kids.
378
00:23:44,727 --> 00:23:46,773
I mean, they're weird
as shit, but awesome.
379
00:23:48,992 --> 00:23:51,101
So, listen, I was thinking...
380
00:23:51,125 --> 00:23:53,867
The affair thing,
is that still a go?
381
00:23:56,696 --> 00:23:58,088
Yeah, totally.
382
00:24:00,569 --> 00:24:02,489
Should I let you know when...
- No, I don't want to
383
00:24:02,513 --> 00:24:03,766
hear details or anything.
384
00:24:03,790 --> 00:24:04,790
Cool.
385
00:24:07,794 --> 00:24:09,206
Hey, guys...
386
00:24:09,230 --> 00:24:11,110
Not in the street. Hey,
hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
387
00:24:11,134 --> 00:24:12,165
Get your brother.
388
00:24:12,189 --> 00:24:13,558
Just stop him.
389
00:24:13,582 --> 00:24:15,062
Come here.
Come here, boy.
390
00:24:25,986 --> 00:24:28,660
Whoa, wax your bush.
Wax your bush.
391
00:24:28,684 --> 00:24:30,084
Try out the wax
studio, right there.
392
00:24:30,108 --> 00:24:31,968
Hello, your wife looks
like she needs a wax.
393
00:24:31,992 --> 00:24:33,839
Sir, sir, sorry.
394
00:24:33,863 --> 00:24:36,320
It's a little...
You wanna wax your bush?
395
00:24:36,344 --> 00:24:37,887
Wax your bush.
396
00:24:37,911 --> 00:24:38,931
Wax your bush.
397
00:24:38,955 --> 00:24:41,134
Wax your bush.
Thank you. Wait, hey!
398
00:24:44,178 --> 00:24:45,677
Hey, Zoe.
399
00:24:45,701 --> 00:24:47,798
Hey this is not working. I
am fucked right now, Claire.
400
00:24:47,885 --> 00:24:48,854
What's up?
401
00:24:48,878 --> 00:24:51,901
I'm just scaring people away.
Nobody gets the double entendre.
402
00:24:51,925 --> 00:24:55,952
Oh, you just said "double
entendre" and now I am worried.
403
00:24:55,987 --> 00:24:58,951
Just pour yourself a
vodka soda and know that
404
00:24:58,975 --> 00:25:01,313
if you build it, they'll come.
405
00:25:01,761 --> 00:25:03,280
They should.
406
00:25:07,288 --> 00:25:08,439
Hey.
407
00:25:08,463 --> 00:25:09,463
Hey.
408
00:25:09,812 --> 00:25:11,442
Oh, hey.
409
00:25:11,466 --> 00:25:12,815
Nice double entendre.
410
00:25:13,686 --> 00:25:15,272
Thank you.
411
00:25:15,296 --> 00:25:16,926
You doing okay?
You look a little...
412
00:25:16,950 --> 00:25:17,927
Yeah, no, I'm good.
413
00:25:17,951 --> 00:25:20,364
I'm really... really good.
414
00:25:20,388 --> 00:25:23,444
Yeah. - Why, do I not
look okay? - No, you look hot.
415
00:25:23,913 --> 00:25:25,726
Double entendre.
416
00:25:27,308 --> 00:25:28,590
What are you doing right now?
417
00:25:28,614 --> 00:25:31,244
Oh, you know, I'm...
418
00:25:31,268 --> 00:25:33,582
Just probably gonna jump
off a bridge or something.
419
00:25:33,749 --> 00:25:36,487
Yeah, you gotta get
outta politics, it's killing you.
420
00:25:36,522 --> 00:25:39,294
Come on.
421
00:25:52,246 --> 00:25:55,385
Can I buy you a drink?
422
00:25:56,119 --> 00:25:59,794
Um, nope, I have
a drink already.
423
00:25:59,829 --> 00:26:00,808
What is your name?
424
00:26:01,385 --> 00:26:03,873
Are we allowed to do names?
I thought we weren't doing names.
425
00:26:04,192 --> 00:26:06,944
You can make
one up, if you'd like.
426
00:26:07,130 --> 00:26:09,351
Oh, okay. Um...
427
00:26:09,872 --> 00:26:12,910
Great, I didn't really give
that any advanced thought.
428
00:26:13,963 --> 00:26:16,028
Um, Allison.
429
00:26:16,052 --> 00:26:18,473
No, I hate Allison,
she is a total...
430
00:26:19,621 --> 00:26:21,585
Melania.
431
00:26:22,624 --> 00:26:25,777
That is also equally vile.
432
00:26:25,801 --> 00:26:26,846
Um...
433
00:26:27,934 --> 00:26:29,651
Lola?
434
00:26:29,675 --> 00:26:32,001
That's cute... no, that's
trying too hard, isn't it?
435
00:26:32,025 --> 00:26:33,535
Nice to meet you, Lola.
436
00:26:35,419 --> 00:26:37,615
Wow, you're really getting
into that hand, aren't you?
437
00:26:37,639 --> 00:26:39,118
No, no, no.
438
00:26:39,119 --> 00:26:42,125
Uh, sorry, I'm just not into...
439
00:26:42,688 --> 00:26:44,778
Public displays of affection.
440
00:26:47,170 --> 00:26:49,322
So, how do we...
how do we do this?
441
00:26:49,346 --> 00:26:51,323
You tell me what you like.
442
00:26:54,563 --> 00:26:55,765
Okay. Um...
443
00:26:56,223 --> 00:27:01,226
Well, I like C-SPAN,
I like to workout,
444
00:27:02,708 --> 00:27:06,625
I like watching people hoard on TV.
- Okay, how "about I figure this out?"
445
00:27:10,846 --> 00:27:11,846
Um...
446
00:27:14,110 --> 00:27:15,435
You don't...
447
00:27:15,459 --> 00:27:18,225
You don't have any
cold sores, do you?
448
00:27:18,332 --> 00:27:19,463
No.
449
00:27:20,073 --> 00:27:21,659
Okay.
450
00:27:21,683 --> 00:27:25,097
It's just that like, 85% of
the population has herpes.
451
00:27:25,121 --> 00:27:27,246
So it's a valid question.
452
00:27:27,471 --> 00:27:30,694
Um, I would really prefer
not to take off my clothes.
453
00:27:31,911 --> 00:27:33,782
Okay.
454
00:27:37,090 --> 00:27:40,528
I'm sorry, I've never been
with anyone besides my husband.
455
00:27:52,148 --> 00:27:56,128
I just thought I might
take you to a movie,
456
00:27:56,152 --> 00:27:58,827
if that's all right.
What do you think?
457
00:27:58,851 --> 00:28:01,525
Wow, did you set
this all up yourself?
458
00:28:01,549 --> 00:28:03,701
Yeah, I'm not so
great at sleeping.
459
00:28:03,725 --> 00:28:05,877
So I just come up
here and hang out.
460
00:28:05,901 --> 00:28:07,792
It's like I have my
own personal drive-in.
461
00:28:07,816 --> 00:28:10,969
Yeah, at night I stay
up making mixed CDs.
462
00:28:10,993 --> 00:28:13,033
I mean, I guess they're
called playlists now, but...
463
00:28:13,057 --> 00:28:14,581
Dude, you do
realize that mixed CDs
464
00:28:14,605 --> 00:28:16,105
are like a lost art form, right?
465
00:28:16,129 --> 00:28:17,280
Yeah.
466
00:28:17,304 --> 00:28:19,238
Yeah, every girl I
liked in high school
467
00:28:19,262 --> 00:28:21,327
would get these,
like, heart-wrenching,
468
00:28:21,351 --> 00:28:23,765
80s hair band,
power ballad mixes.
469
00:28:23,789 --> 00:28:28,063
Oh, no, Paul, you're a
hair band guy? - Sorry, yes.
470
00:28:28,663 --> 00:28:32,512
That is both very lame
and kinda, sorta awesome.
471
00:28:32,536 --> 00:28:33,862
Thank you.
472
00:28:33,886 --> 00:28:38,064
Wow, I sleep up here
more than I care to admit.
473
00:28:41,676 --> 00:28:43,785
Can I ask you something?
474
00:28:43,809 --> 00:28:48,006
Whoo, I hate questions
that start with that. But, sure.
475
00:28:48,030 --> 00:28:51,488
Why were you alone in
your car at the wedding?
476
00:28:51,512 --> 00:28:52,619
You know, when I...
477
00:28:52,643 --> 00:28:54,186
Got high and lit
yourself on fire?
478
00:28:54,210 --> 00:28:56,493
Okay, we don't
need a play-by-play.
479
00:28:58,768 --> 00:28:59,767
I was, you know...
480
00:29:00,695 --> 00:29:02,852
I was giving my
wife some space.
481
00:29:02,887 --> 00:29:05,908
Pretty sure she can't
stand to be around me.
482
00:29:05,961 --> 00:29:07,417
We're hardly ever having sex.
483
00:29:07,441 --> 00:29:09,462
And when we do,
it takes way too long.
484
00:29:09,486 --> 00:29:11,831
It's kinda like that wedding
scene in The Deer Hunter.
485
00:29:11,866 --> 00:29:14,343
My every day is like the
wedding scene in The Deer Hunter.
486
00:29:14,840 --> 00:29:18,144
I started listening to 7 Habits
of Highly Effective People
487
00:29:18,179 --> 00:29:20,871
on audio tape and it turns
out, I have none of them.
488
00:29:20,906 --> 00:29:23,046
Yeah, it took Jane's
parents bailing me out
489
00:29:23,081 --> 00:29:26,262
for, like, the hundredth time
before I came to that conclusion.
490
00:29:26,286 --> 00:29:28,743
Well, my parents have
been dead for 13 years.
491
00:29:28,767 --> 00:29:31,734
So I can't exactly
bother them for cash.
492
00:29:31,769 --> 00:29:34,175
They didn't leave you some
huge trust fund or anything?
493
00:29:34,207 --> 00:29:37,049
A trust fund?
Really? - I... I don't know.
494
00:29:37,084 --> 00:29:38,274
No, my parents were basically
495
00:29:38,298 --> 00:29:40,984
like the Bonnie and
Clyde of tax evasion.
496
00:29:41,019 --> 00:29:42,539
They opened up a bunch
of credit cards in my name,
497
00:29:42,563 --> 00:29:43,845
left me with all this debt.
498
00:29:43,869 --> 00:29:46,543
So yeah, they raised me, but
then somebody else sent me the bill.
499
00:29:46,567 --> 00:29:48,414
Well, how'd you then
open up a business
500
00:29:48,438 --> 00:29:50,677
and land on your feet?
- I worked a ton of jobs,
501
00:29:50,701 --> 00:29:52,767
I served a thousand
beers at Beer Land,
502
00:29:52,791 --> 00:29:54,725
worked the door at Mohawk,
503
00:29:54,749 --> 00:29:57,206
temped, parked cars at a rodeo.
504
00:29:57,230 --> 00:30:00,122
I actually was the
cashier at the salon
505
00:30:00,146 --> 00:30:01,386
and then they were closing down
506
00:30:01,410 --> 00:30:04,387
and I got my license,
took over the lease,
507
00:30:04,411 --> 00:30:06,065
paid for itself for a while.
508
00:30:08,502 --> 00:30:10,045
What?
509
00:30:10,069 --> 00:30:13,681
I just... I find
you fascinating.
510
00:30:15,814 --> 00:30:18,555
That's a word.
511
00:30:19,426 --> 00:30:21,645
That is the F-word.
512
00:30:24,866 --> 00:30:27,695
It must be
horrible to lose this.
513
00:30:29,349 --> 00:30:31,631
Yeah.
514
00:30:31,655 --> 00:30:34,093
It'll probably be a condo
by the end of the month.
515
00:30:38,184 --> 00:30:40,839
You ready?
- Yeah.
516
00:30:55,201 --> 00:30:57,246
Hi.
517
00:31:06,048 --> 00:31:06,921
No.
518
00:31:29,365 --> 00:31:32,736
Zoe? - Yeah?
- Zoe! - Oh, hi!
519
00:31:32,760 --> 00:31:36,392
Hi, I'm so happy you came!
520
00:31:36,416 --> 00:31:37,393
Of course.
521
00:31:37,417 --> 00:31:39,177
I have something for you.
522
00:31:39,201 --> 00:31:40,744
For me?
- Look!
523
00:31:40,768 --> 00:31:43,834
Oh, great! Do you
want to feel him kick?
524
00:31:43,858 --> 00:31:45,531
No.
- Come on.
525
00:31:45,555 --> 00:31:49,349
It is a joy. - No.
- To feel him kick, I must say.
526
00:31:49,384 --> 00:31:51,373
No, no, I do not.
527
00:31:51,408 --> 00:31:52,147
No?
- I do not...
528
00:31:52,171 --> 00:31:54,798
want to feel the kick.
529
00:31:55,348 --> 00:31:59,415
Fine, maybe we can put
your present over here
530
00:31:59,439 --> 00:32:02,722
along with the
non-registry gifts.
531
00:32:02,746 --> 00:32:06,465
It's okay, all the
single people bring baskets.
532
00:32:06,489 --> 00:32:09,840
Oh, Zoe! - Hi! - Brought
you a juice. - Oh, thank you.
533
00:32:10,667 --> 00:32:11,775
Where's the bar?
534
00:32:11,799 --> 00:32:14,299
Oh, there's a
juice bar over there
535
00:32:14,323 --> 00:32:16,258
and an oxygen bar in the back.
536
00:32:16,282 --> 00:32:17,922
I don't wanna take
too much because I have
537
00:32:17,946 --> 00:32:21,350
a roller derby match
tonight, and it's my first one.
538
00:32:21,374 --> 00:32:22,694
I'm trying to come
up with a name.
539
00:32:22,718 --> 00:32:25,006
I was like, the
Penetrator, you know.
540
00:32:25,030 --> 00:32:27,486
Or like, Nipple Clamper.
- Oh, no, I don't like that one.
541
00:32:27,510 --> 00:32:29,053
I want something aggressive.
542
00:32:29,077 --> 00:32:30,968
So there's no alcohol?
No alcohol?
543
00:32:30,992 --> 00:32:33,623
No, Zoe, it's 11:30
in the morning.
544
00:32:33,647 --> 00:32:36,147
Well, it's past 10:00,
you know, all bets are off.
545
00:32:36,171 --> 00:32:39,629
You ever had a
carbon monoxide shot?
546
00:32:39,653 --> 00:32:42,458
You should go in the
garage and turn the car on.
547
00:32:42,482 --> 00:32:44,199
What? - Yeah, all
the kids are doing it,
548
00:32:44,223 --> 00:32:46,183
don't stay in there too
long 'cause you could die.
549
00:32:46,207 --> 00:32:49,682
But just turn the car
on for like, 30 seconds.
550
00:32:49,706 --> 00:32:53,089
It's the same effect as alcohol.
551
00:32:53,145 --> 00:32:57,081
Anyway, this is a
great party. I love kids.
552
00:32:57,105 --> 00:32:58,953
All right, we'll see
you at the oxygen bar.
553
00:32:58,977 --> 00:33:00,824
I'll see you at the...
554
00:33:00,848 --> 00:33:03,675
I actually will just breathe the
air that's right here, thank you.
555
00:33:06,723 --> 00:33:09,017
Don't judge me, little kids.
556
00:33:15,689 --> 00:33:18,494
Well, hello, friend.
- Hello.
557
00:33:18,518 --> 00:33:21,497
Somebody that I know,
that is older than five.
558
00:33:21,521 --> 00:33:23,455
Hi!
- Hi.
559
00:33:23,479 --> 00:33:28,547
So what were you up to before this
horrific shoot-myself-in-the-face baby shower?
560
00:33:28,571 --> 00:33:30,245
Ah, I was doing
very exciting things.
561
00:33:30,269 --> 00:33:33,074
I was blowing up balloons,
I was unstacking chairs.
562
00:33:33,098 --> 00:33:35,815
Hard labor, basically.
- Sounds like a blast.
563
00:33:35,839 --> 00:33:37,687
You have kids?
- Nah.
564
00:33:37,711 --> 00:33:41,062
Oh. - Do I look like
I have kids? - No. - Okay.
565
00:33:41,889 --> 00:33:42,997
Guess what?
- Hmm?
566
00:33:43,021 --> 00:33:45,066
Your son is biting party guests.
567
00:33:46,111 --> 00:33:50,376
Our son thinks he's a dog.
- It's a phase. It's a phase.
568
00:33:52,682 --> 00:33:55,096
Be right back.
- Thank you.
569
00:33:55,120 --> 00:33:58,099
It's actually a totally
normal, developmental stage.
570
00:33:58,123 --> 00:33:59,578
Oh, sure, yeah.
- It actually means
571
00:33:59,602 --> 00:34:01,276
he has an above-average
imagination.
572
00:34:01,300 --> 00:34:02,683
So, maybe he'll be an artist.
573
00:34:02,736 --> 00:34:04,203
I hope not.
574
00:34:04,238 --> 00:34:06,542
Well, I bark at
like half my dates.
575
00:34:06,566 --> 00:34:08,163
So, I totally understand.
576
00:34:10,396 --> 00:34:13,108
Yeah, don't have kids,
that's my tip for you.
577
00:34:13,143 --> 00:34:14,364
Way ahead of you.
578
00:34:15,096 --> 00:34:17,196
God, I hate myself.
579
00:34:19,970 --> 00:34:21,015
Hello.
580
00:34:22,756 --> 00:34:24,980
What's y'all' s nameses?
581
00:34:26,151 --> 00:34:27,613
I see how this is going.
582
00:34:28,718 --> 00:34:31,343
You know the first boy that
ever broke my heart had red hair.
583
00:34:31,378 --> 00:34:33,177
He ended up cutting off a lock
of his hair and mailing it to me.
584
00:34:33,201 --> 00:34:34,917
I still have it in this
trunk at my house.
585
00:34:34,952 --> 00:34:36,142
I wonder what he's doing?
586
00:34:36,177 --> 00:34:37,573
Do you guys have Facebook?
587
00:34:37,640 --> 00:34:40,213
So which one of you do you
think will lose your virginity first?
588
00:34:41,731 --> 00:34:43,006
It's a fair question.
589
00:34:44,691 --> 00:34:45,842
June, Cam...
590
00:34:45,866 --> 00:34:48,335
Sorry, Cameron,
June, this is Zoe.
591
00:34:48,390 --> 00:34:50,375
Zoe, these are my girls.
592
00:34:50,958 --> 00:34:52,936
You have three kids.
593
00:34:52,960 --> 00:34:54,222
That I do, Zoe.
594
00:34:55,049 --> 00:34:57,486
That I do.
595
00:35:06,104 --> 00:35:08,236
What's your
name again? - Sam.
596
00:35:15,200 --> 00:35:19,093
I want to welcome
everybody to Oral 101.
597
00:35:19,117 --> 00:35:23,009
I am Sarah-Beth and I suck!
598
00:35:23,033 --> 00:35:25,186
Seriously, Claire?
599
00:35:25,210 --> 00:35:27,013
What, I saw it on Groupon.
600
00:35:27,037 --> 00:35:29,668
You bought a dick-sucking
class on Groupon?
601
00:35:29,692 --> 00:35:33,281
So today you're
gonna learn how to GBB,
602
00:35:33,305 --> 00:35:35,848
Give better blowjobs.
603
00:35:35,872 --> 00:35:37,312
You told me that
this was going to be
604
00:35:37,336 --> 00:35:39,591
a cooking exhibition to
make homemade Pop-tarts.
605
00:35:39,615 --> 00:35:42,531
Surprise!
- Fuck you.
606
00:35:43,880 --> 00:35:46,772
He won't.
- What?
607
00:35:46,796 --> 00:35:47,904
Fuck me.
608
00:35:47,928 --> 00:35:52,561
And it is actually
an amazing exfoliant.
609
00:35:52,585 --> 00:35:57,609
My fiance won't have sex with
me unless I have bush on my face.
610
00:35:57,633 --> 00:35:59,900
That's what the masks were for?
611
00:35:59,935 --> 00:36:02,820
And just put it on
your face like this
612
00:36:02,855 --> 00:36:07,017
and I swear your face
has never been softer.
613
00:36:07,034 --> 00:36:10,013
So when you have
the penis in your mouth,
614
00:36:10,037 --> 00:36:11,754
you wanna treat it
like a pepper grinder.
615
00:36:11,778 --> 00:36:13,619
Now, twist it!
616
00:36:14,346 --> 00:36:16,861
Twist it! Put
some pepper on it!
617
00:36:16,896 --> 00:36:19,756
It's all in the
wrist. That's nice.
618
00:36:19,873 --> 00:36:23,157
Every penis has
its own personality.
619
00:36:23,181 --> 00:36:26,986
Some dicks are just
like a nice, simple guy
620
00:36:27,010 --> 00:36:28,901
that's tellin' you
he likes your blouse.
621
00:36:28,925 --> 00:36:30,860
Other dicks are a little feisty.
622
00:36:30,884 --> 00:36:34,373
You can get a good sense of what
a dick's gonna be like when you see it.
623
00:36:34,496 --> 00:36:35,995
If he's all doin' this at first,
624
00:36:36,019 --> 00:36:39,108
you're like, "Yeah,
that's a feisty dick!"
625
00:36:39,143 --> 00:36:41,349
And there's nothing a guy likes
626
00:36:41,373 --> 00:36:43,089
more than getting compliments.
627
00:36:43,113 --> 00:36:44,395
Okay, so watch this.
628
00:36:44,419 --> 00:36:47,621
You have the
most beautiful eyes
629
00:36:47,727 --> 00:36:51,207
of anyone I have ever seen.
630
00:36:51,242 --> 00:36:53,789
So everybody,
pick your penises up.
631
00:36:53,824 --> 00:36:56,293
On the count of three
you're gonna put the penis,
632
00:36:56,328 --> 00:36:58,309
cucumber, in your mouth.
633
00:36:58,344 --> 00:37:01,555
Okay, one, two, three.
634
00:37:01,654 --> 00:37:03,438
You're so sexy.
635
00:37:04,265 --> 00:37:06,374
You're so loyal.
636
00:37:06,398 --> 00:37:08,095
You're so loyal?
637
00:37:09,096 --> 00:37:10,813
Good try. A for effort.
638
00:37:10,837 --> 00:37:12,336
But a guy does not want to hear
639
00:37:12,360 --> 00:37:14,686
how he's loyal in a blowjob.
640
00:37:14,710 --> 00:37:16,558
You need to say something like,
641
00:37:16,582 --> 00:37:20,344
"This is the biggest dick I
have ever put in my mouth."
642
00:37:20,368 --> 00:37:21,911
"It is so huge,"
643
00:37:21,935 --> 00:37:24,740
"I've only thrown
up on you five times."
644
00:37:24,764 --> 00:37:26,089
All right, small mouth, come up.
645
00:37:26,113 --> 00:37:28,874
How does this keep
happening to me?
646
00:37:28,898 --> 00:37:31,529
Zoe, Zoe!
Shh, shh.
647
00:37:31,553 --> 00:37:33,399
Come over here, Zoe.
648
00:37:33,599 --> 00:37:35,093
All right, pull up your penis.
649
00:37:35,862 --> 00:37:37,446
There we go, okay.
650
00:37:37,481 --> 00:37:40,669
So, just imagine
a penis just like,
651
00:37:40,693 --> 00:37:42,768
"Oh, my God, I love this."
652
00:37:42,869 --> 00:37:45,864
"Oh, I want to put my
wiener all over your face"
653
00:37:45,899 --> 00:37:47,321
"and in your mouth,
put it in your nose,"
654
00:37:47,356 --> 00:37:49,210
"and in your eye, and in
your cheek, everywhere."
655
00:37:49,245 --> 00:37:50,699
"Just take it,
just take it, take it."
656
00:37:52,037 --> 00:37:54,117
All right, that's
one way to deal with it.
657
00:37:54,141 --> 00:37:56,012
Uh, I wouldn't suggest...
658
00:37:57,362 --> 00:37:59,412
Breaking it in half.
659
00:38:08,721 --> 00:38:10,307
Hey, Jane!
660
00:38:10,331 --> 00:38:12,763
Well, hi, Nathan.
661
00:38:15,510 --> 00:38:17,948
Oh, sorry, he does
that to everyone.
662
00:38:18,252 --> 00:38:21,588
We didn't see you at the
Toddler Meditation sailboat last week.
663
00:38:21,623 --> 00:38:23,996
You know Nathan
would just love that.
664
00:38:24,031 --> 00:38:25,350
I'm running a
workshop on how to make
665
00:38:25,374 --> 00:38:27,542
your own kale chips
this Thursday, okay?
666
00:38:27,566 --> 00:38:29,221
So, I'll put you
on the list, okay?
667
00:38:29,872 --> 00:38:31,638
There you are!
668
00:38:31,673 --> 00:38:32,808
Jane, we were starting to think
669
00:38:32,832 --> 00:38:34,645
that you guys had moved away.
670
00:38:34,834 --> 00:38:37,310
You know I'm doing a
Mothers Against Litter sign up
671
00:38:37,345 --> 00:38:39,771
to clean up the park.
- Paul's already on the list.
672
00:38:39,795 --> 00:38:43,732
He is really fantastic with
the kids. You are so lucky!
673
00:38:58,640 --> 00:39:01,422
What, you have to pee?
Okay, come on.
674
00:39:08,041 --> 00:39:10,498
Mom, we're hungry.
Dad, can we have dinner?
675
00:39:10,522 --> 00:39:12,399
Yeah, I'll order us a pizza.
676
00:39:12,434 --> 00:39:14,374
No, I can make
something in a minute.
677
00:39:14,409 --> 00:39:15,615
Can you walk your brother?
678
00:39:23,926 --> 00:39:25,193
Hotel Eleven 10 p.m. Room 116.
Who is that?
679
00:39:25,711 --> 00:39:29,451
Lana, she's really
upset about the pregnancy.
680
00:39:30,890 --> 00:39:32,492
You know, I
should go over there.
681
00:39:32,587 --> 00:39:34,668
Why don't you
order that pizza thing?
682
00:39:34,981 --> 00:39:36,025
Okay.
683
00:39:48,307 --> 00:39:49,388
WAX
BRAZILIAN WAXING STUDIO
684
00:39:53,006 --> 00:39:54,255
ZOE
FOR LOST ART FORMS
685
00:40:12,366 --> 00:40:13,604
Hello?
686
00:40:16,762 --> 00:40:18,024
Oh, my God.
687
00:40:18,503 --> 00:40:19,504
Okay.
688
00:40:20,548 --> 00:40:23,261
Yes. Thank you for calling.
689
00:40:24,857 --> 00:40:27,966
Ah, guys, the school called
690
00:40:27,990 --> 00:40:33,157
and it seems that
your class has lice.
691
00:40:33,192 --> 00:40:35,017
No, no, no, no, no.
692
00:40:35,041 --> 00:40:36,912
We don't scream.
Sit down, sit down.
693
00:40:36,947 --> 00:40:37,848
I'm gonna take a look at you.
694
00:40:38,044 --> 00:40:40,313
Everyone just calm down.
695
00:40:40,348 --> 00:40:42,722
I'm sure everything is fine.
696
00:40:42,757 --> 00:40:45,607
We're just... you know,
we're gonna deal with this, okay?
697
00:40:46,052 --> 00:40:48,415
The important thing
is we don't...
698
00:40:48,450 --> 00:40:51,753
Oh, fuck!
Oh, my God!
699
00:40:52,406 --> 00:40:53,644
Oh, my God.
700
00:40:53,668 --> 00:40:56,306
I'm sorry for using that word.
701
00:40:56,454 --> 00:40:57,913
It was knee-jerk.
702
00:40:57,948 --> 00:40:59,746
Uh...
703
00:40:59,781 --> 00:41:00,898
We're gonna kill them all.
704
00:41:01,284 --> 00:41:02,802
Daddy's gonna kill them all.
705
00:41:03,046 --> 00:41:06,443
We'll be fine.
You'll be fine. We'll be okay.
706
00:41:08,553 --> 00:41:10,076
Here we go.
707
00:41:10,859 --> 00:41:12,252
Here we go.
708
00:42:29,721 --> 00:42:30,939
What did I do?
709
00:42:33,289 --> 00:42:35,354
Nothing, you're great.
710
00:42:35,378 --> 00:42:36,921
You're great.
711
00:42:36,945 --> 00:42:40,258
It's just something that
happens to me these days.
712
00:42:41,254 --> 00:42:43,928
I'm just obsessing.
I'm obsessing. - It's okay.
713
00:42:43,952 --> 00:42:45,563
I'm obsessing.
- It's okay.
714
00:42:54,659 --> 00:42:58,323
It's just so hard to be alone.
715
00:42:59,620 --> 00:43:01,900
Especially when
you're with someone.
716
00:43:05,495 --> 00:43:09,301
Uh... I can...
I can hold you.
717
00:43:12,198 --> 00:43:15,374
For an extra 200 $.
718
00:43:25,966 --> 00:43:26,678
Hey.
719
00:43:26,821 --> 00:43:28,059
Hey.
720
00:43:28,083 --> 00:43:29,681
Where you been?
I called you like 10 times.
721
00:43:30,216 --> 00:43:31,497
My phone died.
722
00:43:31,521 --> 00:43:34,277
Okay, don't freak out.
723
00:43:35,613 --> 00:43:37,550
Maybe we should send
them to private school.
724
00:43:37,919 --> 00:43:41,724
You think lice don't infect
spoiled rich kids? - Probably not.
725
00:43:50,279 --> 00:43:51,803
Have you slept
with anyone yet?
726
00:43:54,762 --> 00:43:56,000
You told me not to tell you.
727
00:43:56,024 --> 00:43:59,090
Yeah, no, I know,
I'm sorry, never mind.
728
00:43:59,114 --> 00:44:01,766
But no, I haven't.
729
00:44:06,078 --> 00:44:07,078
Come here.
730
00:44:16,915 --> 00:44:18,003
I love you.
731
00:44:20,832 --> 00:44:22,558
I know.
732
00:44:29,231 --> 00:44:31,949
Okay, all right.
733
00:44:31,973 --> 00:44:35,387
Paul, stop. Why? - Seriously,
stop. - What. What is it?
734
00:44:35,411 --> 00:44:37,706
We have to wash this out.
735
00:44:59,817 --> 00:45:01,239
EVICTION NOTICE
736
00:45:05,485 --> 00:45:07,071
All right, full disclosure.
737
00:45:07,095 --> 00:45:09,770
I pretty much survive
on food truck meals alone.
738
00:45:09,794 --> 00:45:12,250
So you're talking to an
expert here. You can trust me.
739
00:45:12,274 --> 00:45:14,039
I trust you.
- Thank you.
740
00:45:14,537 --> 00:45:16,670
Do you realize how
badass these guys are?
741
00:45:16,705 --> 00:45:18,512
I mean, no one can
afford a lease anymore.
742
00:45:18,585 --> 00:45:21,688
So they're like, "Screw it, we're gonna
open a business on our own terms,"
743
00:45:21,723 --> 00:45:25,550
"no one to answer to, and we get to
do what we love day in and day out."
744
00:45:25,585 --> 00:45:27,068
Plus, these tacos are no joke.
745
00:45:27,103 --> 00:45:29,491
Okay, well, you're talking to
somebody with extraordinarily
746
00:45:29,526 --> 00:45:31,778
high taco standards,
just to be clear.
747
00:45:31,816 --> 00:45:33,184
Okay. - I'm not
easily impressed.
748
00:45:33,208 --> 00:45:36,405
Okay, so we're meeting
in the same place here.
749
00:45:36,429 --> 00:45:38,755
Mmm-hmm.
- And...
750
00:45:38,779 --> 00:45:40,539
Close your eyes
and open your mouth.
751
00:45:40,563 --> 00:45:41,923
I'm not falling
for that one again.
752
00:45:41,947 --> 00:45:44,500
Come on, man,
it's taco roulette.
753
00:45:44,524 --> 00:45:47,242
You gotta trust me, I have
honorable intentions, I swear.
754
00:45:47,266 --> 00:45:49,094
Okay. All right.
755
00:45:51,705 --> 00:45:53,204
This is very vulnerable for me.
756
00:45:53,228 --> 00:45:54,577
Shh.
757
00:45:55,448 --> 00:45:56,754
So your mouth is ready.
758
00:45:59,060 --> 00:46:01,280
Okay. - It's
close, it's close.
759
00:46:05,023 --> 00:46:08,132
Okay, oh.
- Chew it down.
760
00:46:08,156 --> 00:46:10,047
This is really good.
- It's really good, right?
761
00:46:10,071 --> 00:46:12,639
Who knows his tacos?
- You know your tacos.
762
00:46:14,467 --> 00:46:16,208
Come on, there you got it.
763
00:46:20,995 --> 00:46:23,365
Well, I met somebody.
764
00:46:23,389 --> 00:46:27,717
Someone I actually like, and
he's perfect, and he's married.
765
00:46:27,741 --> 00:46:29,023
Unhappily.
766
00:46:29,047 --> 00:46:32,548
Well, that's new
and better than happily.
767
00:46:32,572 --> 00:46:33,549
You know what your problem is?
768
00:46:33,573 --> 00:46:35,464
Um, yeah, which one?
769
00:46:35,488 --> 00:46:37,422
You see everyone
around you settling down
770
00:46:37,446 --> 00:46:40,425
and it makes you want to
rev up and give hand jobs
771
00:46:40,449 --> 00:46:42,166
to weird dudes in public.
772
00:46:42,190 --> 00:46:45,213
Wow, you really have a way of
making things sound worse than they are.
773
00:46:45,237 --> 00:46:47,998
Really? 'Cause you're
sleeping with a married guy
774
00:46:48,022 --> 00:46:50,182
and watching your business
fail right before your eyes.
775
00:46:50,206 --> 00:46:51,872
I haven't actually
slept with him
776
00:46:51,896 --> 00:46:55,223
and what am I supposed to do
about my store? It's out of my hands.
777
00:46:55,247 --> 00:46:57,573
I'm sorry, you
haven't slept with him?
778
00:46:57,597 --> 00:46:59,705
Well, that's different.
779
00:46:59,729 --> 00:47:01,055
Shut up.
780
00:47:01,079 --> 00:47:03,666
Look, if that's
what you want, go for it.
781
00:47:03,690 --> 00:47:06,887
If the store is what you want,
stop being complacent, okay?
782
00:47:06,911 --> 00:47:08,366
We'll figure something out.
783
00:47:08,390 --> 00:47:09,672
Or we'll die.
784
00:47:09,696 --> 00:47:12,571
But either way, it's
gonna be over soon.
785
00:47:13,221 --> 00:47:15,876
I'll drink to that.
Cheers.
786
00:47:17,835 --> 00:47:19,987
I'm kinda getting
high from the fumes.
787
00:47:20,011 --> 00:47:21,447
That's why we come here.
788
00:47:21,795 --> 00:47:22,795
Right.
789
00:47:24,276 --> 00:47:25,276
Paul?
790
00:47:31,370 --> 00:47:33,609
Hi. - What are
you doing here?
791
00:47:33,633 --> 00:47:36,220
You forgot your keys.
What is this place?
792
00:47:36,244 --> 00:47:39,380
Ah, it's just a place I hang
out sometimes, you know?
793
00:47:39,552 --> 00:47:41,325
Watch movies.
794
00:47:42,076 --> 00:47:43,285
You're drinking?
795
00:47:44,383 --> 00:47:47,594
No, it's a friend's.
- You don't have friends.
796
00:47:47,821 --> 00:47:51,288
Thanks, I do occasionally...
Have friends.
797
00:47:53,740 --> 00:47:56,695
Okay, so what, you
come here and you watch...
798
00:47:58,876 --> 00:48:00,505
You watch Working girl?
799
00:48:00,529 --> 00:48:02,116
Why are you
watching Working girl?
800
00:48:02,140 --> 00:48:04,380
You only watch Working girl
when you're feeling defeated.
801
00:48:09,582 --> 00:48:13,673
You wanna hang out for
a bit? Watch Working girl?
802
00:48:15,457 --> 00:48:16,806
I can't. I don't have time.
803
00:48:17,851 --> 00:48:19,722
Yeah.
804
00:48:20,462 --> 00:48:21,637
Thanks for the keys.
805
00:48:22,856 --> 00:48:25,536
See you at home.
- Yeah, see you at home.
806
00:48:44,965 --> 00:48:46,725
Hello.
- Hello.
807
00:48:46,749 --> 00:48:48,075
What are you doing?
808
00:48:48,099 --> 00:48:50,991
I am tracing my own hand.
809
00:48:51,015 --> 00:48:53,950
Okay, well, a few of us are
going to a bar down the street
810
00:48:53,974 --> 00:48:55,343
if you would like to join us.
811
00:48:55,367 --> 00:48:58,346
And by a few of us I
mean, there is no us,
812
00:48:58,370 --> 00:48:59,869
it's just me, alone.
813
00:48:59,893 --> 00:49:01,573
But there will be
people in the background.
814
00:49:01,597 --> 00:49:02,785
So, it should be fun.
815
00:49:02,809 --> 00:49:06,354
I would, and thanks for
the invitation but I'm sober.
816
00:49:06,378 --> 00:49:07,964
Oh, perfect, I'm an enabler.
817
00:49:07,988 --> 00:49:10,010
So, this is great.
818
00:49:10,034 --> 00:49:12,182
Rain check?
- Aw, come on.
819
00:49:12,217 --> 00:49:16,371
It'll be fun. Right?
Question mark, exclamation point.
820
00:49:16,406 --> 00:49:20,513
Another exclamation
point, dot, dot, dot, dot...
821
00:49:20,522 --> 00:49:23,731
Okay, I'll go if you stop
doing that. - Deal. Period.
822
00:49:24,265 --> 00:49:27,531
So are you sober
or are you an alcoholic?
823
00:49:27,703 --> 00:49:29,308
Well, I'm definitely sober.
824
00:49:29,792 --> 00:49:31,596
Not sure if I'm an alcoholic.
825
00:49:31,620 --> 00:49:34,544
But my wife is sure.
826
00:49:34,623 --> 00:49:36,253
Cool.
- Yeah.
827
00:49:36,277 --> 00:49:38,516
So how bad of an
alcoholic are we talking?
828
00:49:38,540 --> 00:49:39,822
Do you, like, chug Listerine?
829
00:49:39,846 --> 00:49:41,606
Do you keep gasoline
underneath your bed?
830
00:49:41,630 --> 00:49:46,089
No, I was, like, old-school.
I just drank all the human stuff.
831
00:49:46,113 --> 00:49:49,136
But, like... like a lot of it.
832
00:49:49,160 --> 00:49:51,573
I like a man who can commit
to something. - Mmm-hmm.
833
00:49:51,597 --> 00:49:53,317
Does this mean you
got like an intervention?
834
00:49:53,341 --> 00:49:55,272
Did people come and
read you letters and cry?
835
00:49:55,296 --> 00:49:58,580
No, but that sounds amazing
and I would've loved one.
836
00:49:58,604 --> 00:50:00,103
What happened to
me was I got into
837
00:50:00,127 --> 00:50:02,062
into a really
awesome car accident.
838
00:50:02,086 --> 00:50:03,933
Cool.
- Yeah.
839
00:50:03,957 --> 00:50:05,500
You didn't hit anybody, did you?
840
00:50:05,524 --> 00:50:07,676
I did, a parking meter.
841
00:50:07,700 --> 00:50:08,851
He didn't make it.
842
00:50:08,875 --> 00:50:11,332
Oh, no.
- It was fine.
843
00:50:11,356 --> 00:50:13,278
He was kind of a
jerk parking meter.
844
00:50:13,313 --> 00:50:16,742
No, Jane, uh... Jane
gave me a choice.
845
00:50:17,231 --> 00:50:19,991
Her or Scotch.
846
00:50:20,626 --> 00:50:22,215
And I chose her.
847
00:50:22,628 --> 00:50:24,259
Well, I choose Scotch.
848
00:50:24,369 --> 00:50:27,514
And beer, and anything else
I can get my mouth around.
849
00:50:27,633 --> 00:50:30,178
I did not say... I
didn't mean it like that.
850
00:50:30,201 --> 00:50:32,171
It doesn't bother you if I
drink in front of you, does it?
851
00:50:32,465 --> 00:50:35,922
No, no, no, other people drinking doesn't
bother me as much as, you know, me not.
852
00:50:36,033 --> 00:50:37,484
Which still annoys me.
853
00:50:37,643 --> 00:50:40,874
Well, you seem to be handling
yourself quite nicely, you know?
854
00:50:42,996 --> 00:50:44,519
Something right there.
855
00:50:48,958 --> 00:50:50,395
Ow! Sorry.
856
00:50:56,270 --> 00:50:57,271
Fuck!
857
00:50:59,578 --> 00:51:01,362
I'm gonna worry
about this later.
858
00:51:06,933 --> 00:51:09,196
So that happened.
- Yep.
859
00:51:10,502 --> 00:51:12,069
I'm in your bed.
860
00:51:12,765 --> 00:51:14,308
Your joint bed.
861
00:51:14,332 --> 00:51:17,267
You are married, you have a
wife. You know, your wife, Jane.
862
00:51:17,291 --> 00:51:18,573
Where is Jane?
863
00:51:18,597 --> 00:51:21,880
She's gone for the
night with the kids.
864
00:51:21,904 --> 00:51:23,428
Oh, my God.
865
00:51:25,212 --> 00:51:28,496
Jane told me I
could have an affair.
866
00:51:28,520 --> 00:51:30,565
So, I'm the affair?
867
00:51:31,914 --> 00:51:34,265
Well, yeah, I guess.
868
00:51:35,092 --> 00:51:37,026
Oh, my God.
869
00:51:37,050 --> 00:51:39,028
Is that why you've
been hanging out with me?
870
00:51:39,052 --> 00:51:40,595
Was so you could bait me?
871
00:51:40,619 --> 00:51:43,230
So you could sleep with me?
So I can be your... - Zoe, Zoe.
872
00:51:43,796 --> 00:51:46,035
I like you.
873
00:51:46,059 --> 00:51:48,690
You have no idea
how much I like you.
874
00:51:48,714 --> 00:51:50,474
Oh, my God.
875
00:51:50,498 --> 00:51:52,587
We're bad people.
- No.
876
00:51:53,588 --> 00:51:56,132
We're good people.
877
00:51:56,156 --> 00:51:58,737
We're just failing
at it right now.
878
00:52:00,117 --> 00:52:01,877
Just...
879
00:52:01,901 --> 00:52:03,618
I mean, we take the
same antidepressants.
880
00:52:03,642 --> 00:52:05,837
I mean, that should
count for something.
881
00:52:05,861 --> 00:52:08,330
Yeah, that's the spirit.
882
00:52:09,343 --> 00:52:15,443
Listen, my life is, like,
super complicated right now.
883
00:52:15,478 --> 00:52:17,908
I have no idea what's
happening with my marriage.
884
00:52:19,440 --> 00:52:22,708
But my kids, I mean,
they're everything.
885
00:52:23,705 --> 00:52:26,903
They're the only thing I've
ever done right in my whole life.
886
00:52:29,929 --> 00:52:31,887
Come here, come on.
887
00:52:32,714 --> 00:52:34,238
We'll figure it out.
888
00:52:35,369 --> 00:52:37,589
Everything's gonna be okay.
889
00:52:39,678 --> 00:52:41,332
For somebody.
890
00:53:13,059 --> 00:53:15,166
It was too low.
891
00:53:15,583 --> 00:53:17,229
I knew this would happen.
892
00:53:22,329 --> 00:53:24,264
Let me do it. It
was my fault. - I have it.
893
00:53:24,288 --> 00:53:25,808
Leave it. Leave it!
I got it. I got it.
894
00:53:25,832 --> 00:53:27,225
Leave it!
- I'll do it!
895
00:53:45,533 --> 00:53:46,253
Hi.
896
00:53:47,485 --> 00:53:49,539
Jane, hi.
897
00:53:49,574 --> 00:53:51,185
I didn't even know
you worked here.
898
00:53:52,793 --> 00:53:53,681
You didn't?
899
00:53:53,716 --> 00:53:55,896
No, Laser Town is packed.
900
00:53:55,931 --> 00:53:59,375
I just came over for a...
For a wax.
901
00:53:59,410 --> 00:54:00,976
Oh, great.
902
00:54:01,673 --> 00:54:05,039
What were you thinking of doing?
903
00:54:05,111 --> 00:54:07,253
Brazilian?
- Cool, I do that.
904
00:54:07,288 --> 00:54:09,181
I do that.
- Okay.
905
00:54:10,072 --> 00:54:12,852
Unless, of course, you
wouldn't feel comfortable with...
906
00:54:12,901 --> 00:54:15,157
Oh, no, you're a professional.
907
00:54:15,192 --> 00:54:19,557
So, I... I am
completely comfortable.
908
00:54:20,518 --> 00:54:22,739
Great, why don't
you just go back there,
909
00:54:22,774 --> 00:54:25,563
make yourself
comfortable and I'll be right in.
910
00:54:25,598 --> 00:54:26,567
Okay.
911
00:54:38,275 --> 00:54:42,211
All right, Jane, if you could
spread your legs in a frog-like position.
912
00:54:42,235 --> 00:54:44,037
Like... like this?
913
00:54:45,194 --> 00:54:47,278
Excellent, thanks.
914
00:54:47,313 --> 00:54:49,124
So how have you been doing?
915
00:54:49,155 --> 00:54:50,163
Good.
916
00:54:51,462 --> 00:54:53,849
I heard you went by the store.
917
00:54:53,884 --> 00:54:57,995
Yes, I did. I've
gone by the store.
918
00:54:58,120 --> 00:55:01,031
You know, I go by...
I go by all those stores.
919
00:55:01,066 --> 00:55:03,399
Yeah, Paul's having a
really hard time letting go of it.
920
00:55:05,214 --> 00:55:06,757
Sorry.
921
00:55:06,781 --> 00:55:08,941
All right, now you can go
ahead and pull your legs back
922
00:55:08,965 --> 00:55:10,918
as far as you
can, excellent, yes.
923
00:55:12,918 --> 00:55:14,485
You ever been married?
924
00:55:15,660 --> 00:55:20,084
No, no, not yet.
925
00:55:20,142 --> 00:55:23,082
You heard Lana and Peter
are already having trouble, right?
926
00:55:23,102 --> 00:55:25,051
No, I had not heard that.
927
00:55:27,280 --> 00:55:30,626
All right, Jane, you can go ahead
and lie down on your side, this direction.
928
00:55:33,417 --> 00:55:35,599
Yeah, apparently he's
been cheating on her.
929
00:55:36,158 --> 00:55:38,376
Oh, you know, I...
930
00:55:38,422 --> 00:55:41,833
You know, I guess that's
something that people do.
931
00:55:42,339 --> 00:55:45,025
All right, Jane, now
this is something fun,
932
00:55:45,060 --> 00:55:46,944
I never thought I
would be asking you to do.
933
00:55:46,979 --> 00:55:48,921
But could you spread
your right butt cheek?
934
00:55:49,433 --> 00:55:50,985
Excellent.
935
00:55:52,871 --> 00:55:54,504
Wait, is it the wax?
936
00:55:54,539 --> 00:55:57,154
No, I'm just
having a panic attack.
937
00:55:57,189 --> 00:56:00,679
Oh, I have those all the time,
it's a repetitive sound disorder.
938
00:56:00,703 --> 00:56:03,097
Maybe that's...
Is it the sound?
939
00:56:03,142 --> 00:56:06,266
No, it's fine, I'm breathing.
940
00:56:07,320 --> 00:56:09,689
This is breathing and
it means I'm not dying.
941
00:56:09,724 --> 00:56:11,584
Okay, are you sure? Can I
get you something, some water?
942
00:56:11,680 --> 00:56:15,217
No. - A Xanax? It'll help
the water go down easier.
943
00:56:15,241 --> 00:56:17,132
No, it's just something
that happens lately.
944
00:56:17,156 --> 00:56:19,471
I spontaneously start crying.
945
00:56:20,333 --> 00:56:22,501
It's like I have a
disease or something.
946
00:56:22,536 --> 00:56:23,981
No, you're okay.
947
00:56:24,511 --> 00:56:26,077
How do you know that?
948
00:56:26,992 --> 00:56:29,784
I guess it's just
something that people say.
949
00:56:29,819 --> 00:56:31,586
But I'm sure it's
true occasionally.
950
00:56:31,621 --> 00:56:34,207
Zoe?
- Yeah?
951
00:56:35,000 --> 00:56:38,448
Can you just finish waxing
my asshole so I can go?
952
00:56:38,483 --> 00:56:39,880
Of course.
953
00:57:11,668 --> 00:57:12,509
Mazel Tov.
954
00:57:12,544 --> 00:57:14,598
I just want to say thank
you to everybody for coming.
955
00:57:14,633 --> 00:57:17,085
This is has been the
most successful bris.
956
00:57:17,216 --> 00:57:18,795
Well, that's subjective.
957
00:57:18,870 --> 00:57:21,252
Thank you for having us.
958
00:57:21,263 --> 00:57:22,420
It's been lovely.
959
00:57:27,748 --> 00:57:29,117
Are you gonna get him?
960
00:57:29,141 --> 00:57:33,920
No, no. We are practicing
the "Cry It Out" method.
961
00:57:33,955 --> 00:57:37,141
So, it is agony.
962
00:57:37,176 --> 00:57:39,702
But it is better for
him in the long run.
963
00:57:39,737 --> 00:57:42,216
Oh, actually they've
just proven that
964
00:57:42,251 --> 00:57:44,240
lack of emotional
support when you're young
965
00:57:44,275 --> 00:57:46,426
can have a real
damaging effect later in life.
966
00:57:46,463 --> 00:57:48,146
So, it's all over the blogs.
967
00:57:48,377 --> 00:57:50,160
Our son eats off the floor.
968
00:57:50,195 --> 00:57:52,783
No, really, he chews bones
969
00:57:52,818 --> 00:57:55,544
and the other day we found
him drinking water out of the toilet.
970
00:57:55,579 --> 00:57:59,557
So, anything that Jane says about
parenting you should, you know, do the opposite.
971
00:57:59,954 --> 00:58:02,662
This flatware is lovely.
972
00:58:02,827 --> 00:58:04,152
Thank you. Yeah.
973
00:58:04,176 --> 00:58:05,588
You know, I actually from...
974
00:58:05,612 --> 00:58:07,068
Because you're father
of the fucking year, right?
975
00:58:07,092 --> 00:58:09,418
No, I'm sorry. I'm sorry
that I make all the money
976
00:58:09,442 --> 00:58:11,115
and I take care
of our three kids
977
00:58:11,139 --> 00:58:13,466
and I have my parents
bail us out of bankruptcy.
978
00:58:13,490 --> 00:58:16,294
You're right, I'm just a
terrible mom and a terrible wife.
979
00:58:16,318 --> 00:58:17,905
I paid for that money, Jane.
980
00:58:17,929 --> 00:58:19,776
Trust me, I fucking paid for it.
981
00:58:19,800 --> 00:58:22,240
How's that wine treating you,
sweetie? - It's delicious, thanks.
982
00:58:22,264 --> 00:58:24,702
Would you pass the...
- Hey, look, everyone.
983
00:58:24,737 --> 00:58:26,182
Now it's all out in the open.
984
00:58:26,217 --> 00:58:29,495
Look, everybody,
Jane is a smoker.
985
00:58:29,549 --> 00:58:32,254
See, now everybody
knows and nobody cares.
986
00:58:32,289 --> 00:58:34,686
You're right I'm a terrible,
terrible human being,
987
00:58:34,721 --> 00:58:37,284
because sometimes
I have a cigarette.
988
00:58:37,339 --> 00:58:38,916
Right. Ok.
989
00:58:39,037 --> 00:58:40,144
Uh...
990
00:58:40,168 --> 00:58:42,948
There, you win!
Okay? You win!
991
00:58:43,389 --> 00:58:46,357
If winning mean losing
your job, getting a DUI,
992
00:58:46,392 --> 00:58:48,101
and bringing nothing
to the table sexually.
993
00:58:48,136 --> 00:58:49,909
I mean, you think I
just wanna roll over
994
00:58:49,944 --> 00:58:52,717
and get fucked the exact
same way for the rest of my life?
995
00:58:52,833 --> 00:58:55,901
It is Groundhog Day! My
vagina is fuckin' Bill Murray!
996
00:58:55,936 --> 00:58:58,212
Aw, I love Bill Murray.
997
00:58:58,839 --> 00:59:00,437
You're embarrassing yourself.
998
00:59:00,493 --> 00:59:03,013
You know what? You've been
embarrassing me our entire marriage!
999
00:59:03,235 --> 00:59:07,984
Jane, can I get you an ashtray? - No, it's
fine. - No? - Thank you, have a great bris.
1000
00:59:11,939 --> 00:59:16,039
Well, I have never
been to a bris before.
1001
00:59:16,117 --> 00:59:18,279
But this is great.
1002
00:59:23,081 --> 00:59:25,095
Zoe.
- Whoo.
1003
00:59:25,866 --> 00:59:28,006
Zoe, do you think
I can't see you?
1004
00:59:28,041 --> 00:59:31,231
Oh, I'm sorry, I just really
need my face in my hair right now.
1005
00:59:31,263 --> 00:59:32,543
You mean your
hair in your face?
1006
00:59:32,567 --> 00:59:36,366
I mean my hair
in my face, Paul.
1007
00:59:36,529 --> 00:59:38,886
Hi. - Hi.
You okay?
1008
00:59:38,923 --> 00:59:41,447
Yeah, I'm actually...
Are you kidding me?
1009
00:59:41,482 --> 00:59:43,677
I signed up for life
classes through Oprah,
1010
00:59:43,884 --> 00:59:46,420
because she does that
and then I got corn tortillas
1011
00:59:46,455 --> 00:59:48,338
instead of flour because I
heard that was better for you
1012
00:59:48,373 --> 00:59:49,617
and I, I...
1013
00:59:50,456 --> 00:59:52,046
Fuck, I'm doing awesome.
1014
00:59:52,081 --> 00:59:54,727
Okay, listen,
I'm really sorry, um...
1015
00:59:55,766 --> 00:59:57,448
I'm really sorry
about what happened.
1016
00:59:57,483 --> 00:59:59,734
I'm not sorry that
it happened. I just...
1017
00:59:59,770 --> 01:00:01,779
I suck at words.
1018
01:00:02,033 --> 01:00:03,940
I'm so much
better at mixed CDs.
1019
01:00:04,296 --> 01:00:06,785
Yeah, me, too.
1020
01:00:07,081 --> 01:00:11,151
I just, I REO Speedwagon
Can't Fight This Feeling.
1021
01:00:12,609 --> 01:00:15,934
Paul, you can't admit
to liking REO Speedwagon.
1022
01:00:15,969 --> 01:00:18,014
It's not even cool in an
ironic way like Tom Petty.
1023
01:00:18,049 --> 01:00:20,423
Yeah, Tom Petty is
not cool in any way.
1024
01:00:20,458 --> 01:00:22,856
What are you...
are you serious right now?
1025
01:00:22,891 --> 01:00:25,485
Tom Petty is not cool?
I can't, you know what?
1026
01:00:25,622 --> 01:00:27,765
No, I'm not doing this here.
1027
01:00:27,800 --> 01:00:30,524
I cannot argue with you about the
coolness of Tom Petty out in the open.
1028
01:00:30,535 --> 01:00:31,885
It's just way too intimate.
1029
01:00:31,920 --> 01:00:34,445
Then come inside.
- I'm not coming inside.
1030
01:00:34,587 --> 01:00:36,549
This is... I can't do this.
1031
01:00:36,894 --> 01:00:38,020
It's just...
1032
01:00:59,090 --> 01:01:01,390
He was an escort.
1033
01:01:02,006 --> 01:01:03,709
The guy I was with.
1034
01:01:05,444 --> 01:01:07,011
He was a what?
1035
01:01:08,839 --> 01:01:11,212
He was a prostitute.
1036
01:01:11,319 --> 01:01:14,146
He was a fucking prostitute.
1037
01:01:18,196 --> 01:01:19,874
You paid someone?
1038
01:01:21,852 --> 01:01:23,836
You paid someone?
1039
01:01:33,515 --> 01:01:35,107
How much did they charge?
1040
01:01:47,747 --> 01:01:50,380
Why is there an
eviction notice on your door?
1041
01:01:52,926 --> 01:01:54,210
I don't know.
1042
01:01:54,232 --> 01:01:56,523
Zo, what's wrong?
1043
01:01:59,585 --> 01:02:01,252
I slept with Paul.
1044
01:02:01,369 --> 01:02:03,371
Paul of Paul and Jane?
1045
01:02:05,199 --> 01:02:07,730
I mean, it's okay, you know?
People fuck people.
1046
01:02:07,898 --> 01:02:10,706
I don't know how
this is my life, you know?
1047
01:02:11,466 --> 01:02:17,275
I worked so hard not
to be like my parents.
1048
01:02:17,310 --> 01:02:18,770
Not to be a failure.
1049
01:02:18,805 --> 01:02:21,754
I don't want to lose
everything that I have.
1050
01:02:21,999 --> 01:02:24,547
Okay, what do people in this
town love more than anything?
1051
01:02:25,089 --> 01:02:26,946
Tacos.
- More than tacos.
1052
01:02:27,395 --> 01:02:28,776
Music.
1053
01:02:28,962 --> 01:02:30,522
I have the bands,
1054
01:02:30,572 --> 01:02:33,873
you have a pretty vacant
space with your store.
1055
01:02:33,908 --> 01:02:36,355
I say we charge a cover
1056
01:02:36,390 --> 01:02:38,865
and... I don't know,
see what happens.
1057
01:02:38,885 --> 01:02:40,577
You think that would work?
1058
01:02:40,612 --> 01:02:42,379
I mean, we might
as well try, right?
1059
01:02:45,675 --> 01:02:46,706
CONCERT
SAVE EAST AUSTIN
1060
01:02:46,741 --> 01:02:48,808
Sir, you! Ma'am!
1061
01:03:05,912 --> 01:03:07,087
See this, Austin?
1062
01:03:09,002 --> 01:03:11,045
We can't find Nate.
- Nathan's missing.
1063
01:03:19,491 --> 01:03:21,908
Hey, did you pay a cover?
1064
01:03:21,943 --> 01:03:23,565
No, you can't sneak in here.
1065
01:03:23,600 --> 01:03:26,295
You need to go to the front
and you need to pay. - Zoe, Zoe, Zoe.
1066
01:03:26,319 --> 01:03:26,909
Hey! Relax.
1067
01:03:26,933 --> 01:03:29,478
This is going so great.
- I have someone at the door.
1068
01:03:29,513 --> 01:03:31,630
Oh, great. Yeah. - Wait, you
wanna take a shot with me?
1069
01:03:31,938 --> 01:03:35,533
No, and why don't
you slow your roll, okay?
1070
01:03:35,550 --> 01:03:37,965
I'm having fun,
Claire, loosen up.
1071
01:03:38,000 --> 01:03:39,205
This is going great.
1072
01:03:39,240 --> 01:03:40,532
Why don't we
get you some water?
1073
01:03:40,567 --> 01:03:43,188
Okay, you look
like a total mess.
1074
01:03:43,223 --> 01:03:44,541
Phew.
1075
01:03:44,603 --> 01:03:45,747
Nathan!
1076
01:03:46,561 --> 01:03:48,322
Come on, bud, Nate!
1077
01:03:48,346 --> 01:03:50,817
Did you find him?
- Yeah, Jane, I found him.
1078
01:03:50,914 --> 01:03:54,435
"Just decided to stand out here and
continue calling his name like a fuckin" idiot.
1079
01:03:54,918 --> 01:03:57,529
I'm sorry!
- It's not your fault.
1080
01:03:57,564 --> 01:03:59,713
He does this all the
time, we'll find him.
1081
01:03:59,748 --> 01:04:01,558
Yes, it is, it's my fault.
1082
01:04:01,794 --> 01:04:05,622
Everything is fucking my fault!
- It was the both of us. Nate!
1083
01:04:07,713 --> 01:04:11,036
You know, that I get
off work and I come here,
1084
01:04:11,064 --> 01:04:13,657
and I walk around the
block three or four times
1085
01:04:13,692 --> 01:04:16,505
before I even come inside?
- Why. Why you do that?
1086
01:04:16,540 --> 01:04:18,970
Because I can't
believe that I am this.
1087
01:04:19,005 --> 01:04:23,128
This wife, this mother,
it just doesn't seem real.
1088
01:04:23,163 --> 01:04:25,369
I never wanted to be
one of these fucking people.
1089
01:04:25,383 --> 01:04:26,759
What people?
1090
01:04:26,950 --> 01:04:29,349
People who live just
to endure each other.
1091
01:04:29,430 --> 01:04:33,137
That's everyone we know.
That's marriage! - It's not!
1092
01:04:34,457 --> 01:04:35,169
You think...
1093
01:04:35,204 --> 01:04:37,185
You think I tried
to be a shitty wife?
1094
01:04:37,220 --> 01:04:39,929
No, I tried! I
tried to do my best!
1095
01:04:39,964 --> 01:04:42,769
I worked hard, I
took care of the bills,
1096
01:04:42,804 --> 01:04:45,681
I took care of the children.
I tried to be attracted to you.
1097
01:04:45,716 --> 01:04:46,528
Wait, what?
1098
01:04:47,361 --> 01:04:50,032
What do you... you tried to be
attracted... What does that even mean?
1099
01:04:51,452 --> 01:04:55,273
Recently, the thought of having
sex with you just repulses me.
1100
01:04:57,937 --> 01:04:59,073
Wow, this...
1101
01:05:01,158 --> 01:05:03,505
I'm just trying to
be honest for once.
1102
01:05:03,540 --> 01:05:06,217
Yeah, your honesty, it's just
another way for you to hurt people.
1103
01:05:06,815 --> 01:05:09,744
Look at our house, nothing fits!
1104
01:05:10,254 --> 01:05:13,279
You are buying furniture for
a house we don't even live in!
1105
01:05:15,955 --> 01:05:17,952
Nathan!
- Nathan!
1106
01:05:20,220 --> 01:05:21,695
Wo, found him!
1107
01:05:27,706 --> 01:05:31,648
Must be hard, being
this self-righteous.
1108
01:05:32,711 --> 01:05:34,441
You have no idea.
1109
01:05:40,066 --> 01:05:42,553
Thank you so much
for coming out tonight!
1110
01:05:43,722 --> 01:05:46,636
And giving a hands
up to Sailor Poon.
1111
01:05:46,696 --> 01:05:48,139
Look at these ladies.
1112
01:05:48,335 --> 01:05:51,524
And speaking of poon, let's
not forget why we're here.
1113
01:05:51,643 --> 01:05:54,029
So that our
poons can get waxed
1114
01:05:54,064 --> 01:05:57,749
by a local business
and not Laser Town,
1115
01:05:57,784 --> 01:06:01,586
which is basically the
Illuminati of pubic hair.
1116
01:06:01,609 --> 01:06:04,026
Now tonight, we're
gonna take back what's ours!
1117
01:06:08,138 --> 01:06:10,194
Let's take it to the streets!
1118
01:06:10,229 --> 01:06:11,794
Come on!
1119
01:06:15,623 --> 01:06:18,313
They can't break us.
1120
01:06:18,348 --> 01:06:20,343
Ohh!
1121
01:06:20,367 --> 01:06:22,476
Plexiglass, you gotta
be fucking kidding me.
1122
01:06:22,500 --> 01:06:24,652
This just stupid...
1123
01:06:24,676 --> 01:06:26,349
Ohh!
1124
01:06:26,373 --> 01:06:28,177
Damn it! Stupid!
1125
01:06:28,201 --> 01:06:30,353
Ow! Fuck!
1126
01:06:30,377 --> 01:06:32,640
Ow! Fuck!
1127
01:06:56,708 --> 01:06:59,078
Thanks for bailing me out.
1128
01:06:59,102 --> 01:07:01,689
The covers paid
half and the other half...
1129
01:07:01,713 --> 01:07:03,474
I'll pay you back, I promise.
1130
01:07:03,509 --> 01:07:06,641
How, Zoe, how are
you gonna pay me back?
1131
01:07:06,676 --> 01:07:09,596
You don't have anything.
- Look, Claire, I'm sorry.
1132
01:07:09,634 --> 01:07:12,091
I was wasted,
I got out of control.
1133
01:07:12,289 --> 01:07:14,484
Your parents spent
their whole lives
1134
01:07:14,508 --> 01:07:16,257
running from
where you just were.
1135
01:07:17,859 --> 01:07:21,889
Wow, that was
a really low blow.
1136
01:07:21,924 --> 01:07:24,523
God, Zoe, you need to grow up!
1137
01:07:24,558 --> 01:07:28,363
Okay, so you didn't win at life,
you didn't get some grand fucking prize,
1138
01:07:28,398 --> 01:07:31,083
no one does and no
one owes you anything.
1139
01:07:31,118 --> 01:07:33,477
And, I mean, forget winning,
because how you lose
1140
01:07:33,512 --> 01:07:35,397
is just as much a
part of who you are.
1141
01:07:35,432 --> 01:07:38,235
And no offense, but
you're kind of an asshole.
1142
01:07:42,362 --> 01:07:45,747
You know what? Just
pay me back whenever.
1143
01:09:27,337 --> 01:09:28,425
What's up?
1144
01:09:32,429 --> 01:09:35,051
What, did you rob a bank?
1145
01:09:35,086 --> 01:09:36,827
I got my job back at Beer Land.
1146
01:09:37,216 --> 01:09:39,566
That's oddly stable of you.
1147
01:09:39,601 --> 01:09:43,140
I know that I
suck at relationships.
1148
01:09:43,175 --> 01:09:46,757
And I'm full of shit,
1149
01:09:47,270 --> 01:09:50,357
and I act like I'm
right about everything,
1150
01:09:50,392 --> 01:09:55,533
because I am so fucking
scared to be wrong, all the time.
1151
01:09:56,975 --> 01:10:01,063
But you're my best friend
and I really, really do love you.
1152
01:10:01,284 --> 01:10:05,822
And I say that
out loud, like, never.
1153
01:10:05,940 --> 01:10:07,372
So...
1154
01:10:09,727 --> 01:10:11,021
I love you.
1155
01:10:12,208 --> 01:10:14,270
You're being totally
emo right now.
1156
01:10:14,305 --> 01:10:17,917
Yeah, I'm really trying to
get better at this emo stuff.
1157
01:10:18,518 --> 01:10:19,715
Feels good.
1158
01:10:20,477 --> 01:10:22,835
I caught Jim fucking his office.
1159
01:10:23,610 --> 01:10:24,930
Like the wall?
1160
01:10:25,308 --> 01:10:26,771
No, the people.
1161
01:10:27,614 --> 01:10:29,274
And he didn't even invite you?
1162
01:10:29,309 --> 01:10:31,679
Oh.
1163
01:10:33,403 --> 01:10:34,823
You're invited.
1164
01:10:40,061 --> 01:10:43,633
Well, you can come to my
office fuck party anytime.
1165
01:10:44,718 --> 01:10:47,369
I can't believe our 5-year-old
needs to see a shrink.
1166
01:10:48,374 --> 01:10:49,649
You think he's okay?
1167
01:10:49,723 --> 01:10:51,067
He'll be fine.
1168
01:10:51,102 --> 01:10:52,515
He probably loves the attention.
1169
01:10:52,550 --> 01:10:54,609
I mean, do you
think he is okay?
1170
01:10:54,815 --> 01:10:58,081
Yes, I think he's fine.
1171
01:10:59,385 --> 01:11:00,599
Okay.
1172
01:11:03,041 --> 01:11:08,055
You know, I'm really sorry
about the whole prostitution thing.
1173
01:11:14,035 --> 01:11:15,541
It's not funny.
1174
01:11:18,252 --> 01:11:20,598
I mean, come on.
1175
01:11:25,672 --> 01:11:27,309
I didn't keep up.
1176
01:11:27,631 --> 01:11:32,054
Wow, I can't remember the
last time I've seen you laugh.
1177
01:11:32,089 --> 01:11:33,846
Oh, my God, that's depressing.
1178
01:11:37,641 --> 01:11:39,916
I know this sounds
fucked up, but...
1179
01:11:42,733 --> 01:11:45,900
If we were gonna fail, I'm
really glad that I failed with you.
1180
01:11:51,785 --> 01:11:53,148
Good game.
1181
01:11:53,657 --> 01:11:55,188
Good game.
1182
01:12:00,228 --> 01:12:02,206
Oh, hey, buddy.
1183
01:12:02,230 --> 01:12:03,860
Hey, man.
- Hi.
1184
01:12:03,884 --> 01:12:06,080
Oh, look at you.
- Oh, hello.
1185
01:12:06,104 --> 01:12:07,908
Up on your knees.
- You look taller.
1186
01:12:07,932 --> 01:12:09,499
Look at that, he's okay?
1187
01:12:12,980 --> 01:12:16,177
No. Blow it out, Zoe.
Make a wish.
1188
01:12:16,201 --> 01:12:18,637
I wish I wasn't old.
- Like a viable wish.
1189
01:12:19,247 --> 01:12:20,610
I wish I were dead.
1190
01:12:20,645 --> 01:12:22,032
Or rich.
1191
01:12:22,067 --> 01:12:23,863
You know what I actually
wish? I wish I were British?
1192
01:12:23,919 --> 01:12:26,021
I think I'd be very
charming if I were British.
1193
01:12:27,081 --> 01:12:30,437
Cheerio. It worked.
1194
01:12:30,650 --> 01:12:31,901
No, it didn't.
1195
01:12:31,936 --> 01:12:33,724
God, I'm really bad at accents.
1196
01:12:33,759 --> 01:12:36,043
You are, you actually
are really bad at it.
1197
01:12:37,744 --> 01:12:40,641
I know this isn't where you
imagined yourself at this age.
1198
01:12:40,676 --> 01:12:42,743
You mean closing my
failing business, single?
1199
01:12:43,141 --> 01:12:44,969
I don't know, it
seems about right.
1200
01:12:45,004 --> 01:12:46,973
Did you hear about
Peter and Lana?
1201
01:12:47,058 --> 01:12:48,700
He filed for divorce.
1202
01:12:48,735 --> 01:12:51,561
You got me bad
news for my birthday?
1203
01:12:51,596 --> 01:12:54,106
You know I love
other people's bad news.
1204
01:12:54,141 --> 01:12:59,610
Speaking of, Paul and Jane,
while no longer Paul and Jane.
1205
01:13:01,464 --> 01:13:04,123
Wow, really?
1206
01:13:04,158 --> 01:13:05,291
You gonna hit that?
1207
01:13:05,293 --> 01:13:07,139
No.
- Why?
1208
01:13:07,174 --> 01:13:08,915
I think I'm gonna be celibate.
1209
01:13:08,950 --> 01:13:10,968
Oh. That'll last.
1210
01:13:11,003 --> 01:13:13,993
Uh, it will last.
I will be celibate.
1211
01:13:23,945 --> 01:13:25,780
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS
1212
01:13:57,457 --> 01:14:01,814
PAUL'S PICK
ZOE
1213
01:14:31,578 --> 01:14:33,363
GRAND OPENING!
1214
01:14:39,344 --> 01:14:42,753
Hey. Nice sign.
1215
01:14:43,174 --> 01:14:44,679
A little on the nose.
1216
01:14:45,872 --> 01:14:46,862
I know.
1217
01:14:48,222 --> 01:14:50,727
This is great, congrats.
1218
01:14:50,762 --> 01:14:52,636
Thanks. - It's amazing.
- Thank you very much.
1219
01:14:53,314 --> 01:14:55,837
You know, all my life, I've
anticipated failure so much
1220
01:14:55,872 --> 01:14:58,021
it's kind of bizarre when
it's not actually happening.
1221
01:14:58,102 --> 01:14:59,320
Mmm.
1222
01:14:59,355 --> 01:15:00,818
Sounds nice, enjoy it.
1223
01:15:02,193 --> 01:15:03,745
Hey, I heard
about you and Jane.
1224
01:15:03,934 --> 01:15:05,583
And I'm really sorry.
1225
01:15:05,805 --> 01:15:07,364
"How you holdin' up?
1226
01:15:08,939 --> 01:15:10,458
Oddly well.
1227
01:15:11,550 --> 01:15:13,804
That's good to hear.
- Yeah, except for one thing.
1228
01:15:14,422 --> 01:15:15,401
What?
1229
01:15:16,816 --> 01:15:21,466
I keep trying to not
be in love with you.
1230
01:15:22,039 --> 01:15:24,930
And it does not
seem to be working.
1231
01:15:24,955 --> 01:15:28,161
Hmm, interesting turn
of events. - Mmm-hmm.
1232
01:15:28,196 --> 01:15:30,172
Let me just lay out
some ground rules.
1233
01:15:30,177 --> 01:15:33,125
There's gonna be no
sleeping together, no sex.
1234
01:15:33,160 --> 01:15:35,725
I'm so sorry.
- Okay, great, see you.
1235
01:15:35,792 --> 01:15:38,403
All right.
Come here.
1236
01:15:44,409 --> 01:15:46,735
Hey.
- Yeah?
1237
01:15:46,759 --> 01:15:49,391
I think I'm comin'
around on Tom Petty.
1238
01:15:49,426 --> 01:15:51,948
Okay, we can have sex.
Let's fuck. - Oh, fantastic.
1239
01:15:53,070 --> 01:15:55,838
The table's very
small but it is full-service.
1240
01:16:34,328 --> 01:16:36,785
No, wait, I have an idea.
- No, wait, don't leave me.
1241
01:16:36,809 --> 01:16:40,093
No, I need to get this. - Don't
leave me. - Come on. - All right.
1242
01:16:40,117 --> 01:16:41,886
Promise, this is gonna be good.
1243
01:16:42,336 --> 01:16:44,223
One, two, three.
1244
01:16:46,766 --> 01:16:48,122
THIS IS PAUL AND ZOE
1245
01:16:48,429 --> 01:16:50,790
Good one. Got it.
1246
01:16:50,823 --> 01:16:54,020
Do this? - No, no.
- I've seen people do this.
1247
01:16:54,044 --> 01:16:55,480
Told you.
1248
01:16:56,266 --> 01:16:58,700
FAVORITE POSITION:
NEXT TO EACH OTHER
1249
01:22:53,925 --> 01:22:58,862
My most memorable
blowjobs was with a celebrity.
1250
01:22:58,886 --> 01:23:02,040
Oh, I try not to brag
about that too much, uh...
1251
01:23:02,064 --> 01:23:03,693
But I met Rick Moranis
1252
01:23:03,717 --> 01:23:06,218
right after Honey,
I Shrunk the Kids
1253
01:23:06,242 --> 01:23:09,699
and, honey, did
I shrink his kids.
1254
01:23:09,723 --> 01:23:12,161
You know?
1255
01:23:16,121 --> 01:23:18,413
I'm sweating.
1256
01:23:20,690 --> 01:23:24,690
Corrected by suadnovic