1 00:03:22,870 --> 00:03:25,037 - We are bringing him in. 2 00:05:57,257 --> 00:06:01,460 ♪ Carolyn, where have you been ♪ 3 00:06:01,462 --> 00:06:04,496 ♪ If you could only see me now ♪ 4 00:06:04,498 --> 00:06:07,332 ♪ I stand on trial ♪ 5 00:06:07,334 --> 00:06:09,534 ♪ I'm on the witness stand ♪ 6 00:06:09,536 --> 00:06:13,004 ♪ I've sworn upon the Word of God ♪ 7 00:06:13,006 --> 00:06:17,042 ♪ To tell the truth about me and you ♪ 8 00:06:17,044 --> 00:06:21,179 ♪ But you know, the truth can be so false ♪ 9 00:06:21,181 --> 00:06:22,481 - Objection! - Overruled. 10 00:06:22,483 --> 00:06:25,517 ♪ There isn't one, one neutral tongue ♪ 11 00:06:25,519 --> 00:06:30,288 ♪ Our words bear the tales we've repressed ♪ 12 00:06:31,492 --> 00:06:35,694 ♪ And strange enough, I am the judge ♪ 13 00:06:35,696 --> 00:06:39,798 ♪ I am the prosecution and I am the defense ♪ 14 00:06:39,800 --> 00:06:44,870 ♪ And we are gathered here for the sake of mere formalities ♪ 15 00:06:45,906 --> 00:06:49,207 ♪ For history is writ ♪ 16 00:06:49,209 --> 00:06:52,778 ♪ In other words, we'll uncover ♪ 17 00:06:52,780 --> 00:06:57,849 ♪ The forest beneath a single rotting leaf ♪ 18 00:06:58,886 --> 00:07:03,188 ♪ We've come to witness the sentencing ♪ 19 00:07:04,191 --> 00:07:09,194 ♪ Of one Tommy Silver ♪ 20 00:07:10,364 --> 00:07:14,399 ♪ The man in all of us ♪ 21 00:07:14,401 --> 00:07:19,304 ♪ Oh, why have you forsaken me ♪ 22 00:07:19,306 --> 00:07:24,376 ♪ I am your only son, Father ♪ 23 00:07:25,212 --> 00:07:28,246 ♪ I loved her faithfully ♪ 24 00:07:28,248 --> 00:07:33,318 ♪ According to your Word ♪ 25 00:07:34,021 --> 00:07:36,588 ♪ When will you learn ♪ 26 00:07:36,590 --> 00:07:40,692 ♪ There are not words for everything ♪ 27 00:07:40,694 --> 00:07:42,627 ♪ She dwelt ♪ - Objection! 28 00:07:42,629 --> 00:07:46,364 ♪ Beyond the reach of your ♪ 29 00:07:46,366 --> 00:07:50,769 ♪ Silver-tongued decree, oh ♪ 30 00:07:50,771 --> 00:07:52,237 - Oh, what a show! 31 00:07:52,239 --> 00:07:53,605 Well, what do you know! 32 00:07:53,607 --> 00:07:55,507 He was the fire that set her aglow! 33 00:07:55,509 --> 00:07:57,776 - The slow decline was no fault of mine! 34 00:07:57,778 --> 00:08:00,512 The ending was written ages ago! 35 00:08:04,885 --> 00:08:06,218 - Order in the court! 36 00:08:07,488 --> 00:08:11,723 ♪ How can a man be tried for a crime ♪ 37 00:08:11,725 --> 00:08:16,795 ♪ Comprised of the everyday actions ♪ 38 00:08:17,498 --> 00:08:19,197 ♪ Of every man's life ♪ 39 00:08:19,199 --> 00:08:23,668 ♪ He's not bad like the man who batters his wife ♪ 40 00:08:23,670 --> 00:08:28,740 ♪ Ooh ♪ 41 00:08:30,210 --> 00:08:34,179 ♪ It seems that you're missing the point, my unlucky friend ♪ 42 00:08:35,516 --> 00:08:39,684 ♪ His crime bids much more than six feet for the dead, oh ♪ 43 00:08:42,189 --> 00:08:45,090 ♪ We suspect the accused ♪ 44 00:08:45,092 --> 00:08:48,760 ♪ Guilty as he's been charged ♪ 45 00:08:48,762 --> 00:08:53,832 ♪ Three counts of murder, killed his brother ♪ 46 00:08:54,968 --> 00:08:59,004 ♪ And his lover and a woman named Yes ♪ 47 00:09:00,140 --> 00:09:02,841 ♪ Stabbed in the chest, ripped out her tongue ♪ 48 00:09:02,843 --> 00:09:05,110 ♪ And he strangled her neck ♪ 49 00:09:05,112 --> 00:09:06,111 - I object! 50 00:09:07,347 --> 00:09:08,513 - To what? - To what? 51 00:09:08,515 --> 00:09:09,748 - Do tell, to what? 52 00:09:09,750 --> 00:09:11,550 - I object to the terms of this trial! 53 00:09:11,552 --> 00:09:12,851 I object to this case! 54 00:09:12,853 --> 00:09:15,954 I object to the curve of the smirk on your face! 55 00:09:15,956 --> 00:09:19,090 ♪ To what, my god, to what, the jury is sold ♪ 56 00:09:19,092 --> 00:09:20,258 ♪ Their ears are shut ♪ 57 00:09:20,260 --> 00:09:21,426 ♪ But we'll make an appeal ♪ 58 00:09:21,428 --> 00:09:22,694 ♪ But this court is corrupt ♪ 59 00:09:22,696 --> 00:09:23,795 ♪ We don't have a chance ♪ 60 00:09:23,797 --> 00:09:25,230 ♪ This system is fucked ♪ 61 00:09:25,232 --> 00:09:26,565 ♪ Drop the act ♪ 62 00:09:26,567 --> 00:09:28,800 ♪ Desist with your cries, little man ♪ 63 00:09:28,802 --> 00:09:31,937 ♪ Little whore, pregnant with lies ♪ 64 00:09:31,939 --> 00:09:34,940 ♪ You know well the weight of your crime ♪ 65 00:09:34,942 --> 00:09:39,778 ♪ Your tales no longer will suffice ♪ 66 00:09:39,780 --> 00:09:43,915 ♪ But all right, give us your alibi ♪ 67 00:09:43,917 --> 00:09:48,787 ♪ But the blood on your hands is also on mine ♪ 68 00:09:48,789 --> 00:09:52,757 ♪ So don't you forget ♪ 69 00:09:52,759 --> 00:09:56,461 ♪ Don't you dare try ♪ 70 00:09:56,463 --> 00:09:59,864 ♪ To pull the wool ♪ 71 00:09:59,866 --> 00:10:03,435 ♪ Don't you forget ♪ 72 00:10:03,437 --> 00:10:06,871 ♪ To pull the wool ♪ 73 00:10:06,873 --> 00:10:10,141 ♪ Over your eyes ♪ 74 00:10:16,283 --> 00:10:19,818 ♪ Tommy ♪ 75 00:10:19,820 --> 00:10:24,589 ♪ Tell me the tragedy ♪ 76 00:10:24,591 --> 00:10:29,661 ♪ Of Abel and Cain, of you and your brother ♪ 77 00:10:30,230 --> 00:10:33,865 ♪ Tommy ♪ 78 00:10:33,867 --> 00:10:38,603 ♪ Don't be scared of what ♪ 79 00:10:38,605 --> 00:10:43,675 ♪ You might have to say, what you might discover ♪ 80 00:11:04,698 --> 00:11:09,668 ♪ I killed my brother when I was 10 years old ♪ 81 00:11:10,837 --> 00:11:14,005 ♪ Or so I'm told, I don't remember ♪ 82 00:11:14,007 --> 00:11:18,910 ♪ It seems the memory's grown cold ♪ 83 00:11:18,912 --> 00:11:21,613 ♪ And sometimes I feel the weight ♪ 84 00:11:21,615 --> 00:11:26,251 ♪ Of my father's gun, heavy in my hand ♪ 85 00:11:26,253 --> 00:11:31,322 ♪ That's all that I recall of the accident, coincidentally ♪ 86 00:11:33,160 --> 00:11:38,229 ♪ Sometimes I wonder if there isn't ♪ 87 00:11:39,066 --> 00:11:42,634 ♪ Some other explanation ♪ 88 00:11:42,636 --> 00:11:45,937 ♪ Some kind of evil machination ♪ 89 00:11:45,939 --> 00:11:49,841 ♪ They tell me you used to cry ♪ 90 00:11:49,843 --> 00:11:53,144 ♪ I wish Caleb would die ♪ 91 00:11:53,146 --> 00:11:57,148 ♪ Sometimes you'd hide him under the stair ♪ 92 00:11:57,150 --> 00:11:58,917 ♪ You'd leave him crying there ♪ 93 00:11:58,919 --> 00:12:01,753 ♪ You'd never tell them where he was ♪ 94 00:12:01,755 --> 00:12:06,624 ♪ I see him fast asleep in my mother's arms ♪ 95 00:12:06,626 --> 00:12:08,893 ♪ Head upon her breast ♪ 96 00:12:08,895 --> 00:12:12,430 ♪ She's running her fingers through his hair ♪ 97 00:12:12,432 --> 00:12:15,967 ♪ You know, she never cared for me ♪ 98 00:12:15,969 --> 00:12:18,536 ♪ The way she cared for him ♪ 99 00:12:18,538 --> 00:12:22,474 ♪ What was my mistake, what was my sin ♪ 100 00:12:22,476 --> 00:12:26,778 ♪ I never had that feminine touch ♪ 101 00:12:26,780 --> 00:12:29,881 ♪ He lost it altogether ♪ 102 00:12:29,883 --> 00:12:34,953 ♪ Graceful with fair skin and golden flax hair ♪ 103 00:12:35,789 --> 00:12:39,557 ♪ He was a little angel ♪ 104 00:12:39,559 --> 00:12:43,061 ♪ Would it be fair to say he was a mother's boy ♪ 105 00:12:43,063 --> 00:12:47,065 ♪ But I was my father's son ♪ 106 00:12:47,067 --> 00:12:49,534 ♪ I bear the torch ♪ 107 00:12:49,536 --> 00:12:53,238 ♪ I run through the ages ♪ 108 00:12:53,240 --> 00:12:56,841 ♪ To carry on the name, I am the only one ♪ 109 00:12:56,843 --> 00:13:00,612 ♪ It was a dark December, do you remember ♪ 110 00:13:00,614 --> 00:13:03,581 ♪ His little body, your mother's face ♪ 111 00:13:03,583 --> 00:13:05,350 ♪ Why can't you bring him back ♪ 112 00:13:05,352 --> 00:13:09,821 ♪ Why did you have to spill his blood ♪ 113 00:13:27,307 --> 00:13:29,007 ♪ What have you done, boy ♪ 114 00:13:29,009 --> 00:13:30,408 ♪ What have you done, boy ♪ 115 00:13:30,410 --> 00:13:32,043 ♪ I thought it was empty ♪ 116 00:13:32,045 --> 00:13:33,845 ♪ I swore it was empty ♪ 117 00:13:33,847 --> 00:13:35,113 ♪ Give me the gun ♪ 118 00:13:35,115 --> 00:13:37,015 ♪ Where did you get the gun, boy ♪ 119 00:13:37,017 --> 00:13:39,951 ♪ I thought it was empty, who could have known ♪ 120 00:13:39,953 --> 00:13:43,254 ♪ Oh God, Ma, I swear it wasn't my fault ♪ 121 00:13:43,256 --> 00:13:46,758 ♪ Where did you get your father's gun ♪ 122 00:13:46,760 --> 00:13:50,361 ♪ We found it in the attic in an old dusty box ♪ 123 00:13:50,363 --> 00:13:52,130 ♪ It was only a game ♪ 124 00:13:52,132 --> 00:13:56,868 ♪ He was the robber, and I was the cops ♪ 125 00:14:10,617 --> 00:14:14,285 ♪ Okay, okay, okay ♪ 126 00:14:14,287 --> 00:14:18,223 ♪ It seems he is the guilty one ♪ 127 00:14:18,225 --> 00:14:23,294 ♪ Can he deny the truth behind the curtain ♪ 128 00:14:24,197 --> 00:14:28,299 ♪ For certain he knew too well ♪ 129 00:14:28,301 --> 00:14:31,135 ♪ That he would ring the bells of death ♪ 130 00:14:31,137 --> 00:14:36,207 ♪ What kind of man is he, the self-deceived, the wretch ♪ 131 00:14:37,644 --> 00:14:42,146 ♪ The weed who strangles a flower in its flowering ♪ 132 00:14:43,984 --> 00:14:48,653 ♪ In what poverty is his soul languishing ♪ 133 00:14:48,655 --> 00:14:52,023 ♪ Who can forgive such atrocities ♪ 134 00:14:52,025 --> 00:14:55,627 ♪ How many suffocate so he can breathe ♪ 135 00:14:55,629 --> 00:14:59,831 ♪ The cost of defining yourself ♪ 136 00:14:59,833 --> 00:15:03,067 ♪ By what you are not ♪ 137 00:15:09,142 --> 00:15:11,109 - Well said, well said. 138 00:15:12,212 --> 00:15:14,579 Killed his brother, it's all so brilliant, 139 00:15:14,581 --> 00:15:17,448 you know, so well put together, 140 00:15:17,450 --> 00:15:19,284 the lies one tells to keep oneself 141 00:15:19,286 --> 00:15:22,020 at a distance from the unbearable truth. 142 00:15:22,022 --> 00:15:23,288 But it dwells deep. 143 00:15:25,125 --> 00:15:30,028 It's there, in the bones, like marrow, so hard to extract. 144 00:15:31,431 --> 00:15:32,697 - What are you getting at? 145 00:15:32,699 --> 00:15:34,899 - My old friend, you've made a convincing case, 146 00:15:34,901 --> 00:15:36,401 and I would be sold on that account, 147 00:15:36,403 --> 00:15:40,104 if it weren't for one small piece of information. 148 00:15:40,106 --> 00:15:42,507 Tommy never had a brother! 149 00:15:47,147 --> 00:15:49,981 - Why would you lie to us? 150 00:15:49,983 --> 00:15:50,982 Why, Tommy? 151 00:15:52,085 --> 00:15:53,918 Order in the court! 152 00:15:53,920 --> 00:15:55,153 - Not so fast. 153 00:15:56,489 --> 00:15:58,856 I'd like to see further evidence on this point. 154 00:15:58,858 --> 00:15:59,791 As far as I'm concerned-- 155 00:15:59,793 --> 00:16:01,292 - As far as you're concerned, 156 00:16:01,294 --> 00:16:02,927 you're here to deal out justice. 157 00:16:02,929 --> 00:16:04,595 Don't you know your place. 158 00:16:04,597 --> 00:16:07,498 You're no more real than the tales he tells. 159 00:16:07,500 --> 00:16:10,702 You're only part and parcel of the project 160 00:16:10,704 --> 00:16:12,670 of absolution, as am I. 161 00:16:14,174 --> 00:16:17,075 - What is the meaning of this absurd statement? 162 00:16:17,077 --> 00:16:18,609 I demand an explanation! 163 00:16:18,611 --> 00:16:22,280 - Oh, the meaning, if only it were so simple. 164 00:16:22,282 --> 00:16:26,217 You see, I've had my time, justifying, rationalizing, 165 00:16:26,219 --> 00:16:29,220 denying, defending him, as it were. 166 00:16:30,824 --> 00:16:34,692 That we are here now confirms my failure. 167 00:16:34,694 --> 00:16:36,427 We both know which way this court leans. 168 00:16:37,263 --> 00:16:38,096 - Order! 169 00:16:38,098 --> 00:16:39,230 - Excuse me. 170 00:16:39,232 --> 00:16:40,465 Your Honor, the prosecution must review 171 00:16:40,467 --> 00:16:42,000 the case in light of the new evidence. 172 00:16:42,002 --> 00:16:44,502 - In the labyrinth of one's mind, who can claim to know 173 00:16:44,504 --> 00:16:47,171 the significance of one memory or another. 174 00:16:47,173 --> 00:16:50,575 The question remains, how does one break free? 175 00:16:50,577 --> 00:16:53,511 Interrupt the cycle of guilt and clear 176 00:16:53,513 --> 00:16:56,881 an opening, a space for redemption. 177 00:16:59,486 --> 00:17:02,887 - How dare you utter the forbidden word! 178 00:17:05,525 --> 00:17:09,093 You speak in clever riddles, old man. 179 00:17:09,095 --> 00:17:11,329 I'm after the truth. 180 00:17:11,331 --> 00:17:12,430 - A slippery thing. 181 00:17:13,867 --> 00:17:15,967 - The court has heard enough. 182 00:17:15,969 --> 00:17:19,437 We will move on at once to the second hearing. 183 00:17:25,011 --> 00:17:29,981 ♪ How can we find, find the true seed ♪ 184 00:17:31,184 --> 00:17:32,717 ♪ In the canopy of limbs and leaves ♪ 185 00:17:32,719 --> 00:17:35,386 ♪ In the act of remembering ♪ 186 00:17:35,388 --> 00:17:40,458 ♪ The poor boy Tommy can't remember clearly ♪ 187 00:17:41,661 --> 00:17:43,528 ♪ Just where did she go, why did she go ♪ 188 00:17:43,530 --> 00:17:48,599 ♪ Oh, he doesn't know, he doesn't know, no ♪ 189 00:20:03,169 --> 00:20:04,969 - Order in the court! 190 00:20:07,874 --> 00:20:10,875 You may proceed with the prosecution. 191 00:20:12,779 --> 00:20:17,648 ♪ Tell us then how did it end ♪ 192 00:20:17,650 --> 00:20:21,085 ♪ Tell us from the top as best you can ♪ 193 00:20:21,087 --> 00:20:26,157 ♪ If your love was sweet, then how did she ♪ 194 00:20:27,527 --> 00:20:29,694 ♪ End up with a rope tied tight around her neck ♪ 195 00:20:29,696 --> 00:20:31,896 ♪ Or is that not how it goes ♪ 196 00:20:31,898 --> 00:20:35,099 ♪ Were they your hands that put the bruises on her throat ♪ 197 00:20:35,101 --> 00:20:36,767 ♪ And how do you explain the pain ♪ 198 00:20:36,769 --> 00:20:38,569 ♪ She tried but could not name ♪ 199 00:20:38,571 --> 00:20:41,305 ♪ In this here note she left behind for you ♪ 200 00:20:41,307 --> 00:20:43,474 ♪ Spelled the words in her own blood ♪ 201 00:20:43,476 --> 00:20:46,577 ♪ She writes, Tommy, no matter how I try ♪ 202 00:20:46,579 --> 00:20:49,513 ♪ I can't even seem to bring myself to cry ♪ 203 00:20:49,515 --> 00:20:52,516 ♪ I'm an empty shell for you, oh Risen Lord ♪ 204 00:20:52,518 --> 00:20:54,185 ♪ I am your empty tomb ♪ 205 00:20:54,187 --> 00:20:55,052 - Stop! 206 00:20:57,056 --> 00:20:59,190 Give me the note, please. 207 00:21:00,493 --> 00:21:03,194 Give me the fucking note! 208 00:22:57,110 --> 00:23:00,411 ♪ We're going to the top of the world, you and me ♪ 209 00:23:00,413 --> 00:23:03,981 ♪ Baby, we're gonna be like a king and a queen ♪ 210 00:23:03,983 --> 00:23:07,551 ♪ We're going to the top, baby you and me ♪ 211 00:23:07,553 --> 00:23:10,121 ♪ Better pack your things, and we'll go ♪ 212 00:23:10,123 --> 00:23:15,192 ♪ And we're going far away, oh ♪ 213 00:23:16,329 --> 00:23:18,129 ♪ I'm not diggin' this high school prom ♪ 214 00:23:18,131 --> 00:23:21,866 ♪ Well, these shoes and me, we just don't get along ♪ 215 00:23:21,868 --> 00:23:25,202 ♪ And what's with these kids and their awkward moms ♪ 216 00:23:25,204 --> 00:23:29,473 ♪ They don't dance, they just stand there singin' along ♪ 217 00:23:31,844 --> 00:23:34,945 - Somebody turned off the lights. 218 00:23:44,090 --> 00:23:49,160 ♪ One, two, three, four ♪ 219 00:23:50,329 --> 00:23:52,196 ♪ So you're tired of high school, too ♪ 220 00:23:52,198 --> 00:23:55,699 ♪ Well, it's not so bad, but at least I'm through ♪ 221 00:23:55,701 --> 00:23:59,303 ♪ Tryin' to walk on stilts through a foam-filled room ♪ 222 00:23:59,305 --> 00:24:04,275 ♪ It's a certain disaster for those who do ♪ 223 00:24:17,623 --> 00:24:21,358 ♪ Hey, hey ♪ 224 00:24:21,360 --> 00:24:25,496 ♪ Hey, hey, hey ♪ 225 00:24:25,498 --> 00:24:27,531 ♪ We're too cool for this shit ♪ 226 00:24:27,533 --> 00:24:29,500 ♪ Let's get out of this place ♪ 227 00:24:29,502 --> 00:24:32,536 ♪ Meet me outside the door ♪ 228 00:24:32,538 --> 00:24:36,540 ♪ Won't you be my lady, you're drivin' me crazy ♪ 229 00:24:36,542 --> 00:24:38,375 ♪ Can you take it to the top ♪ 230 00:24:38,377 --> 00:24:40,211 ♪ Just show me what you've got ♪ 231 00:24:40,213 --> 00:24:44,014 ♪ I'll be your baby, don't you say maybe ♪ 232 00:24:44,016 --> 00:24:49,086 ♪ I'll take you to the top, we're never gonna stop ♪ 233 00:24:52,258 --> 00:24:53,557 - Crazy! 234 00:24:53,559 --> 00:24:54,458 - Pretty weird. 235 00:24:56,529 --> 00:24:57,495 You smoke? 236 00:24:57,497 --> 00:24:58,395 - No. 237 00:25:00,833 --> 00:25:01,999 - Me neither. 238 00:25:02,869 --> 00:25:05,202 So, you wanna go in my car? 239 00:25:06,439 --> 00:25:08,606 - Should I be scared? 240 00:25:08,608 --> 00:25:10,708 I'd prefer to not be kidnapped tonight. 241 00:25:10,710 --> 00:25:14,745 - No, no, you know, I mean, 242 00:25:14,747 --> 00:25:16,981 I just, I thought, I mean-- 243 00:25:16,983 --> 00:25:19,049 - You mean you wanna go for a drive? 244 00:25:19,051 --> 00:25:23,320 - Yeah, yeah, let's get outta here. 245 00:25:23,322 --> 00:25:24,722 - What for? 246 00:25:24,724 --> 00:25:28,325 - Well, in order to be together. 247 00:25:32,331 --> 00:25:35,733 - Okay, yeah, where to, Romeo? 248 00:25:37,236 --> 00:25:40,638 - It's Tommy. 249 00:25:40,640 --> 00:25:42,673 My name is Tommy Silver. 250 00:25:42,675 --> 00:25:44,441 - That's a ridiculous name. 251 00:25:44,443 --> 00:25:45,676 That sounds like a name out 252 00:25:45,678 --> 00:25:48,312 of a children's book or something. 253 00:25:48,314 --> 00:25:51,215 - It was my dad's, Thomas. 254 00:26:15,007 --> 00:26:16,407 One, two, three! 255 00:27:21,374 --> 00:27:24,908 ♪ Slow motion, slow motion ♪ 256 00:27:24,910 --> 00:27:28,545 ♪ Slow motion, slow motion ♪ 257 00:27:28,547 --> 00:27:32,282 ♪ Slow motion, slow motion ♪ 258 00:27:32,284 --> 00:27:37,354 ♪ Slow motion, slow motion ♪ 259 00:27:39,925 --> 00:27:44,995 ♪ I gotta tell you, I think you should know ♪ 260 00:27:47,266 --> 00:27:50,834 ♪ I really like you but you're takin' it so slow ♪ 261 00:27:50,836 --> 00:27:54,705 ♪ Slow motion, slow motion ♪ 262 00:27:54,707 --> 00:27:58,242 ♪ Pick up the pace and we'll give it a try ♪ 263 00:27:58,244 --> 00:28:01,278 ♪ Midnight, starlight ♪ 264 00:28:01,280 --> 00:28:06,350 ♪ Forgive my insistent plea ♪ 265 00:28:07,186 --> 00:28:10,521 ♪ This time, I won't rest ♪ 266 00:28:10,523 --> 00:28:15,592 ♪ Until you're right by my side ♪ 267 00:28:16,629 --> 00:28:19,797 ♪ 'Cause I'm a dreamer, so let me dream ♪ 268 00:28:19,799 --> 00:28:23,634 ♪ My eyes are tired and I'm fallin' asleep ♪ 269 00:28:23,636 --> 00:28:28,706 ♪ I'm fallin' asleep ♪ 270 00:28:32,545 --> 00:28:35,979 ♪ You think you want me, but what do you know ♪ 271 00:28:35,981 --> 00:28:39,550 ♪ Slow motion, slow motion ♪ 272 00:28:39,552 --> 00:28:43,520 ♪ Slow motion, slow motion ♪ 273 00:28:43,522 --> 00:28:47,024 ♪ You only met me just one week ago, so ♪ 274 00:28:47,026 --> 00:28:50,961 ♪ Slow motion, slow motion ♪ 275 00:28:50,963 --> 00:28:56,033 ♪ It's not a race, kid, just give me some time ♪ 276 00:28:57,770 --> 00:29:02,840 ♪ Forgive my reluctant speed ♪ 277 00:29:03,676 --> 00:29:07,478 ♪ This time, I need all your ♪ 278 00:29:07,480 --> 00:29:12,483 ♪ Patience tonight ♪ 279 00:29:13,319 --> 00:29:17,521 ♪ Forgive my insistent plea ♪ 280 00:29:18,357 --> 00:29:22,092 ♪ This time, I won't rest ♪ 281 00:29:22,094 --> 00:29:27,164 ♪ Until you're right by my side ♪ 282 00:29:28,200 --> 00:29:31,502 ♪ 'Cause I'm a dreamer, so let me dream ♪ 283 00:29:31,504 --> 00:29:35,372 ♪ Just take it easy and then we'll see ♪ 284 00:29:35,374 --> 00:29:39,276 ♪ My eyes are tired and I'm fallin' asleep ♪ 285 00:29:39,278 --> 00:29:42,446 ♪ I'm fallin' asleep ♪ 286 00:29:47,987 --> 00:29:52,189 ♪ Oh, I want you to know ♪ 287 00:29:52,191 --> 00:29:57,261 ♪ You and me could be together ♪ 288 00:29:58,130 --> 00:30:00,264 ♪ You just never know ♪ 289 00:30:00,266 --> 00:30:05,335 ♪ You and me could be together ♪ 290 00:30:06,071 --> 00:30:08,105 ♪ I want you to know ♪ 291 00:30:08,107 --> 00:30:13,177 ♪ You and me could be together ♪ 292 00:30:13,979 --> 00:30:16,079 ♪ You just never know ♪ 293 00:30:16,081 --> 00:30:21,151 ♪ You and me could be together ♪ 294 00:30:21,954 --> 00:30:23,954 ♪ I want you to know ♪ 295 00:30:23,956 --> 00:30:29,026 ♪ You and me could be together ♪ 296 00:30:29,929 --> 00:30:31,929 ♪ You just never know ♪ 297 00:30:31,931 --> 00:30:37,000 ♪ You and me could be together ♪ 298 00:30:38,170 --> 00:30:41,238 ♪ Oh, together, you ♪ 299 00:30:57,690 --> 00:31:00,557 - I think a black skirt is more... 300 00:31:10,836 --> 00:31:11,735 Hm. 301 00:32:02,554 --> 00:32:06,657 - Carolyn, be my flower-footed doe bird, 302 00:32:06,659 --> 00:32:10,661 in love and tyranny. 303 00:32:10,663 --> 00:32:13,530 And on leap year, Flag Day, Groundhog's Day, 304 00:32:13,532 --> 00:32:15,399 Presidents' Day, monsoon season, 305 00:32:15,401 --> 00:32:17,467 and in the Year of the Cow according to the Chinese Zodiac. 306 00:32:17,469 --> 00:32:19,503 - Okay, listen. 307 00:32:19,505 --> 00:32:22,205 I'll be your flower-footed doe bird, 308 00:32:22,207 --> 00:32:25,676 but I cannot promise to love you in monsoon season. 309 00:32:25,678 --> 00:32:28,312 Who can agree to that? 310 00:32:28,314 --> 00:32:31,148 And what the heck is a doe bird with flower feet? 311 00:32:31,150 --> 00:32:32,049 - Sh. 312 00:32:33,752 --> 00:32:36,019 Don't ask questions. 313 00:32:36,021 --> 00:32:37,187 Just believe. 314 00:32:38,390 --> 00:32:39,823 - Sh. 315 00:32:39,825 --> 00:32:42,759 Hey, this is a pretty nice couch. 316 00:32:42,761 --> 00:32:45,495 - When I look at it, I feel nauseous. 317 00:32:45,497 --> 00:32:47,097 - Yeah, in a good way, right? 318 00:33:41,854 --> 00:33:44,221 Where's Kitty, actually? 319 00:33:44,223 --> 00:33:45,522 - It's in the box. 320 00:33:45,524 --> 00:33:46,590 - Which box? 321 00:33:53,465 --> 00:33:54,898 The door! 322 00:33:54,900 --> 00:33:55,799 Kitty! 323 00:33:59,138 --> 00:34:00,537 - Kitty? - Kitty? 324 00:34:01,340 --> 00:34:02,239 Kitty! 325 00:34:03,909 --> 00:34:04,775 Kitty! 326 00:34:46,718 --> 00:34:47,617 - Mm-hm. 327 00:34:48,921 --> 00:34:49,986 Mm-hm, well. 328 00:34:51,423 --> 00:34:53,657 ♪ We moved in today ♪ 329 00:34:53,659 --> 00:34:55,892 ♪ Our kitty ran away ♪ 330 00:34:55,894 --> 00:35:00,697 ♪ But at least we've got a new couch with a pullout bed ♪ 331 00:35:00,699 --> 00:35:03,366 ♪ Tommy, please don't ♪ 332 00:35:03,368 --> 00:35:06,603 ♪ Hey, there's nothing to fear ♪ 333 00:35:06,605 --> 00:35:07,604 You know, darling. 334 00:35:07,606 --> 00:35:08,905 - Yes dear? 335 00:35:08,907 --> 00:35:11,541 ♪ The kitty cat will find his way home ♪ 336 00:35:11,543 --> 00:35:13,677 ♪ Even through the rain ♪ 337 00:35:13,679 --> 00:35:16,146 ♪ Give it a day ♪ 338 00:35:16,148 --> 00:35:21,218 ♪ After the rain, the kitty will find his way home ♪ 339 00:35:21,920 --> 00:35:23,153 ♪ Just you wait ♪ 340 00:35:23,155 --> 00:35:25,088 Let's make a toast. 341 00:35:25,090 --> 00:35:26,123 - To Kitty. 342 00:35:26,125 --> 00:35:28,725 - And to the new apartment. 343 00:35:28,727 --> 00:35:29,759 - To Kitty. 344 00:35:29,761 --> 00:35:31,428 - And to the apartment. 345 00:35:31,430 --> 00:35:32,696 - And to the kitty. 346 00:35:32,698 --> 00:35:33,530 - And to the kitty. 347 00:35:47,846 --> 00:35:49,880 - I'm sad. 348 00:35:49,882 --> 00:35:50,780 - I know. 349 00:35:51,817 --> 00:35:55,418 I wish I could erase your sadness. 350 00:35:55,420 --> 00:35:57,320 I hate to see you cry. 351 00:35:58,390 --> 00:36:01,558 - I wish I saw you cry, once in a while. 352 00:36:25,450 --> 00:36:27,250 Hey guys, smile! 353 00:36:51,643 --> 00:36:53,610 ♪ We should've been more than just friends ♪ 354 00:36:54,746 --> 00:36:57,180 ♪ Who have long been together ♪ 355 00:36:57,182 --> 00:37:02,252 ♪ Isn't, isn't, isn't there more than just ♪ 356 00:37:04,489 --> 00:37:07,224 - Hey! 357 00:37:59,278 --> 00:38:02,812 - You're such a beautiful cowboy. 358 00:38:02,814 --> 00:38:05,882 I just wanna be part of all of this. 359 00:38:08,453 --> 00:38:10,120 - Thanks for coming! 360 00:38:23,368 --> 00:38:26,269 - You are such a beautiful cowboy. 361 00:38:29,808 --> 00:38:33,009 I just wanna be a part of all of this. 362 00:38:36,548 --> 00:38:38,281 You were a hit, boy. 363 00:38:40,819 --> 00:38:42,886 - Is everyone gone? 364 00:38:42,888 --> 00:38:43,787 - Yeah. 365 00:38:48,327 --> 00:38:51,895 - How's my kitty? 366 00:38:52,764 --> 00:38:53,663 - Okay. 367 00:38:56,702 --> 00:38:59,436 - You miss the real kitty? 368 00:38:59,438 --> 00:39:00,337 - Yeah. 369 00:39:05,777 --> 00:39:08,411 - So where were you all night? 370 00:39:08,413 --> 00:39:09,279 - Around. 371 00:39:12,751 --> 00:39:14,951 - I barely saw you. 372 00:39:14,953 --> 00:39:16,619 - I didn't want to interrupt your date 373 00:39:16,621 --> 00:39:19,622 with the sexy zombie nurse. 374 00:39:19,624 --> 00:39:21,691 - Mm, I appreciate that. 375 00:39:23,395 --> 00:39:25,328 Were you jealous? 376 00:39:25,330 --> 00:39:26,996 - I want that kiss. 377 00:39:30,635 --> 00:39:32,202 - I know, my god. 378 00:39:32,204 --> 00:39:33,803 She was a mess. 379 00:39:33,805 --> 00:39:37,707 She came out of nowhere with those weird zombie lips. 380 00:39:37,709 --> 00:39:39,743 - But you liked it? 381 00:39:39,745 --> 00:39:42,045 - No, what do you mean? 382 00:39:42,047 --> 00:39:44,414 Of course not, she was a gross, dead nurse. 383 00:39:44,416 --> 00:39:46,316 - Sh, you're a cowboy. 384 00:39:48,487 --> 00:39:50,153 I know you. 385 00:39:50,155 --> 00:39:51,921 You don't have to explain yourself. 386 00:39:51,923 --> 00:39:54,057 I'm not the owner of you. 387 00:39:55,460 --> 00:39:58,461 I won't be the one in the way. 388 00:39:58,463 --> 00:39:59,362 - What? 389 00:39:59,364 --> 00:40:00,930 Hey, what is that? 390 00:40:03,201 --> 00:40:05,168 How could you say that? 391 00:40:06,505 --> 00:40:07,637 I'm with you. 392 00:40:09,508 --> 00:40:10,740 You know that. 393 00:40:17,816 --> 00:40:21,017 Don't you want me, sweet baby? 394 00:40:21,019 --> 00:40:23,086 - I don't wanna own you. 395 00:40:24,623 --> 00:40:26,089 I wanna love you. 396 00:40:28,193 --> 00:40:29,025 - Hm. 397 00:40:29,027 --> 00:40:30,994 - Just don't lie to me. 398 00:40:32,731 --> 00:40:34,164 That's all. 399 00:40:34,166 --> 00:40:36,900 We're much better than all that. 400 00:40:38,403 --> 00:40:39,736 - Then all what? 401 00:40:39,738 --> 00:40:42,839 Are you saying you want to see other men? 402 00:40:42,841 --> 00:40:44,140 - Who said men? 403 00:41:05,864 --> 00:41:10,433 ♪ Isn't there more than just one sort of love ♪ 404 00:41:10,435 --> 00:41:15,505 ♪ An arrangement more happily suited to us ♪ 405 00:41:16,641 --> 00:41:20,276 ♪ All it would take is the building of trust ♪ 406 00:41:20,278 --> 00:41:25,348 ♪ We could say what we mean, what we feel, what we want ♪ 407 00:41:29,821 --> 00:41:34,491 ♪ I don't understand what you've proposed to me ♪ 408 00:41:34,493 --> 00:41:39,028 ♪ Do you forget months ago I proposed with a ring ♪ 409 00:41:39,030 --> 00:41:43,433 ♪ Exactly the point, unconventionally ♪ 410 00:41:43,435 --> 00:41:46,035 ♪ We were wed months ago ♪ 411 00:41:46,037 --> 00:41:49,138 ♪ At the Salvation Army ♪ 412 00:41:49,140 --> 00:41:54,210 ♪ So isn't there more than just one sort of love ♪ 413 00:41:55,413 --> 00:41:59,415 ♪ An arrangement more happily suited to us ♪ 414 00:42:00,852 --> 00:42:04,320 ♪ Well, speak for yourself, I never asked to be free ♪ 415 00:42:04,322 --> 00:42:06,756 ♪ I'm right here, I'm with you ♪ 416 00:42:06,758 --> 00:42:10,026 ♪ Kid, that's all that I need ♪ 417 00:42:10,028 --> 00:42:10,994 Wait a minute. 418 00:42:10,996 --> 00:42:12,362 Why are we singing? 419 00:42:12,364 --> 00:42:13,429 - It's a musical. 420 00:42:13,431 --> 00:42:14,898 - I hate musicals. 421 00:42:14,900 --> 00:42:16,032 They're so phony. 422 00:42:16,034 --> 00:42:17,433 - You're phony! 423 00:42:33,618 --> 00:42:38,688 ♪ But sometimes, don't lie ♪ 424 00:42:39,391 --> 00:42:43,826 ♪ I see your eyes ♪ 425 00:42:44,663 --> 00:42:48,865 ♪ Wandering around the room ♪ 426 00:42:49,701 --> 00:42:52,402 ♪ When I'm talking to you ♪ 427 00:43:07,352 --> 00:43:11,521 ♪ And I can tell ♪ 428 00:43:11,523 --> 00:43:15,992 ♪ His heart roams just as well ♪ 429 00:43:15,994 --> 00:43:20,763 ♪ And whether or not he admits ♪ 430 00:43:20,765 --> 00:43:25,735 ♪ For him, love and freedom cannot coexist ♪ 431 00:43:38,149 --> 00:43:40,350 I opened my eyes last night. 432 00:43:40,352 --> 00:43:42,919 I watched you make love to me. 433 00:43:44,522 --> 00:43:46,723 - What did you see? 434 00:43:49,027 --> 00:43:51,160 Gross. 435 00:43:53,898 --> 00:43:57,200 - Your eyes were tightly closed, like, 436 00:43:57,202 --> 00:43:59,636 like you were having a bad dream, 437 00:43:59,638 --> 00:44:03,940 as if you were trying to fix your pain through me. 438 00:44:05,343 --> 00:44:06,376 - What pain? 439 00:44:11,249 --> 00:44:12,815 - I don't know. 440 00:44:12,817 --> 00:44:13,716 What pain? 441 00:44:17,789 --> 00:44:19,255 - Come to bed, huh? 442 00:44:19,257 --> 00:44:21,557 You better wash that stuff off your face. 443 00:44:21,559 --> 00:44:24,794 That shit'll get all over the pillows. 444 00:44:56,361 --> 00:44:58,695 - You know why you're here? 445 00:45:01,466 --> 00:45:04,867 You've been having recurring nightmares. 446 00:45:06,171 --> 00:45:10,206 Your wife says they've become increasingly violent. 447 00:45:11,342 --> 00:45:13,376 She hasn't slept for weeks. 448 00:45:13,378 --> 00:45:17,447 - She goes out to look for the fucking cat. 449 00:45:17,449 --> 00:45:19,916 That's why she doesn't sleep. 450 00:45:21,586 --> 00:45:25,321 The goddamn cat ran away six years ago. 451 00:45:25,323 --> 00:45:27,056 - I heard you kicked it. 452 00:45:28,293 --> 00:45:30,927 And don't kid yourself. 453 00:45:30,929 --> 00:45:33,196 You know she doesn't wander the streets at night. 454 00:45:33,198 --> 00:45:35,064 She works on her paintings when you wake 455 00:45:35,066 --> 00:45:38,067 her up, screaming in your sleep. 456 00:45:38,069 --> 00:45:39,202 - I-- 457 00:45:39,204 --> 00:45:41,704 - I have the following recording. 458 00:46:00,358 --> 00:46:03,926 ♪ Every night, when we turn out the lights ♪ 459 00:46:03,928 --> 00:46:08,965 ♪ His body shivers, something quivers there behind his eyes ♪ 460 00:46:09,667 --> 00:46:10,900 ♪ A secret stirs ♪ 461 00:46:10,902 --> 00:46:13,402 ♪ Oh, he dreams somethin' awful ♪ 462 00:46:13,404 --> 00:46:16,973 ♪ Sometimes he calls through the silent night ♪ 463 00:46:16,975 --> 00:46:20,710 ♪ He gives me a fright when he screams in his sleep ♪ 464 00:46:20,712 --> 00:46:24,380 ♪ Of an old dusty box, but it's only a dream ♪ 465 00:46:24,382 --> 00:46:27,784 - He was the robber, and I was the cops! 466 00:46:34,325 --> 00:46:38,227 ♪ I dreamt again I killed my brother ♪ 467 00:46:38,229 --> 00:46:41,931 ♪ The darling child of my mother ♪ 468 00:46:41,933 --> 00:46:45,701 ♪ But Tommy, you know no such thing occurred ♪ 469 00:46:45,703 --> 00:46:49,305 ♪ Your mother died in the course of your birth ♪ 470 00:46:49,307 --> 00:46:53,309 ♪ I know, I know, but you don't understand ♪ 471 00:46:53,311 --> 00:46:57,079 ♪ I wake from my sleep with his blood on my hands ♪ 472 00:46:57,081 --> 00:47:00,716 ♪ Just close your eyes, I'm by your side ♪ 473 00:47:00,718 --> 00:47:02,585 ♪ It's just a dream ♪ 474 00:47:02,587 --> 00:47:06,155 ♪ Tomorrow, we'll be fine ♪ 475 00:47:45,563 --> 00:47:46,929 - Tell me about your childhood. 476 00:47:49,000 --> 00:47:51,601 She says you dream about killing your brother, 477 00:47:51,603 --> 00:47:54,570 yet you never had a brother, is that right? 478 00:47:56,674 --> 00:47:57,907 Strange thing. 479 00:47:59,344 --> 00:48:02,278 The mind is complex, as you know, 480 00:48:02,280 --> 00:48:04,947 memory being one of its more unpredictable functions. 481 00:48:04,949 --> 00:48:06,716 According to the most current research, 482 00:48:06,718 --> 00:48:07,984 when the mind remembers an event, 483 00:48:07,986 --> 00:48:09,518 it's not the actual event that is recalled 484 00:48:09,520 --> 00:48:11,787 but merely the memory of the last time you remembered it. 485 00:48:11,789 --> 00:48:14,757 Eventually, we add elements, change the order of things. 486 00:48:14,759 --> 00:48:16,192 Sometimes we manage to conjure up 487 00:48:16,194 --> 00:48:19,262 characters who never even existed. 488 00:48:19,264 --> 00:48:21,831 - And what does that make you? 489 00:48:24,369 --> 00:48:27,203 - So you wanna get smart with me? 490 00:48:28,339 --> 00:48:29,772 What is it, Tommy? 491 00:48:30,975 --> 00:48:34,343 What grim tale are you so afraid to tell? 492 00:48:39,117 --> 00:48:40,182 Excuse me. 493 00:48:40,184 --> 00:48:42,485 I seem to have lost myself. 494 00:48:45,556 --> 00:48:46,789 Air's a bit stale in here. 495 00:48:46,791 --> 00:48:49,692 Would you mind opening the window? 496 00:49:11,816 --> 00:49:14,050 Tell me about your mother. 497 00:49:16,621 --> 00:49:19,021 - I don't have a mother. 498 00:49:19,023 --> 00:49:22,591 - You don't have a mother. 499 00:49:22,593 --> 00:49:24,060 Incredible, that must be a first. 500 00:49:24,062 --> 00:49:27,964 Tell me, how can one be born without a mother? 501 00:49:29,634 --> 00:49:31,600 - I killed her. 502 00:49:33,404 --> 00:49:37,139 You can kill your mother just by being born. 503 00:49:38,343 --> 00:49:41,377 - So, the rumors are true. 504 00:49:41,379 --> 00:49:44,080 What about the brother? 505 00:49:44,082 --> 00:49:45,648 - My twin? 506 00:49:46,784 --> 00:49:48,351 He was never born. 507 00:49:49,620 --> 00:49:51,354 He died in the womb. 508 00:49:52,490 --> 00:49:54,657 They had to cut her open to take me out, 509 00:49:54,659 --> 00:49:56,425 and she had a stroke. 510 00:49:57,895 --> 00:50:01,797 They say her heart stopped the moment I came out. 511 00:50:01,799 --> 00:50:05,601 - My god, that explains a lot, now doesn't it? 512 00:50:07,538 --> 00:50:11,440 Twins, one dies, one lives, and a maternal death, 513 00:50:11,442 --> 00:50:14,443 what a way to begin, what a weight. 514 00:50:15,413 --> 00:50:16,612 How can one live up to that? 515 00:50:16,614 --> 00:50:19,281 Two lives for the price of one? 516 00:50:23,121 --> 00:50:24,320 Tell me about your relationship. 517 00:50:28,459 --> 00:50:31,727 - Well, what's to tell? 518 00:50:31,729 --> 00:50:33,496 - Are you happy? 519 00:50:33,498 --> 00:50:34,497 - At times. 520 00:50:38,403 --> 00:50:40,369 She complains. 521 00:50:40,371 --> 00:50:41,337 - About what? 522 00:50:41,339 --> 00:50:42,505 - About me. 523 00:50:43,441 --> 00:50:44,673 My work. 524 00:50:44,675 --> 00:50:46,175 - What type of work do you do? 525 00:50:46,177 --> 00:50:48,944 - Social work, domestic violence. 526 00:50:48,946 --> 00:50:50,279 - That's a noble cause. 527 00:50:50,281 --> 00:50:51,480 - I think so. 528 00:50:51,482 --> 00:50:52,715 - So what's the problem. 529 00:50:52,717 --> 00:50:56,419 - Well, she questions my intentions. 530 00:50:57,555 --> 00:51:00,022 - Well, what are your intentions? 531 00:51:00,024 --> 00:51:01,457 - I don't know. 532 00:51:01,459 --> 00:51:03,626 I thought it was interesting. 533 00:51:03,628 --> 00:51:06,395 I mean, it's a noble cause, right? 534 00:51:06,397 --> 00:51:07,830 - Right. 535 00:51:10,535 --> 00:51:14,003 ♪ Today, just like a year ago ♪ 536 00:51:14,005 --> 00:51:17,773 ♪ Today, 10,000 years ago ♪ 537 00:51:17,775 --> 00:51:22,845 ♪ I was content just making tea ♪ 538 00:51:23,614 --> 00:51:25,414 ♪ But not me ♪ 539 00:51:25,416 --> 00:51:28,317 ♪ Just look, he's buried in books ♪ 540 00:51:28,319 --> 00:51:33,389 ♪ But I was never quite as smart as he ♪ 541 00:51:34,392 --> 00:51:36,192 ♪ And some of the time ♪ 542 00:51:36,194 --> 00:51:38,160 ♪ A lot of the time ♪ 543 00:51:38,162 --> 00:51:41,564 ♪ We disagree on the little things ♪ 544 00:51:41,566 --> 00:51:46,068 ♪ But the truth is, I would rather let him win ♪ 545 00:51:46,070 --> 00:51:50,139 ♪ The outcome means much more to him ♪ 546 00:51:50,141 --> 00:51:52,174 - Well, I'm always right. 547 00:51:52,176 --> 00:51:53,943 ♪ He's always right ♪ 548 00:51:53,945 --> 00:51:55,778 - Yes dear, that's right 549 00:51:55,780 --> 00:51:58,747 ♪ He's got a way with words ♪ 550 00:51:58,749 --> 00:52:01,283 ♪ They fall right off his tongue ♪ 551 00:52:01,285 --> 00:52:05,287 ♪ Like baby birds out of the nest ♪ 552 00:52:05,289 --> 00:52:08,824 ♪ Catch the wind in their wings ♪ 553 00:52:08,826 --> 00:52:12,661 ♪ And go soaring right over my head ♪ 554 00:52:12,663 --> 00:52:17,099 ♪ Oh, but I prefer to keep ♪ 555 00:52:17,101 --> 00:52:21,437 ♪ The ground under my dancing feet ♪ 556 00:53:18,329 --> 00:53:19,228 - Hey! 557 00:53:22,333 --> 00:53:25,334 Do you have to clean the entire house? 558 00:53:26,571 --> 00:53:29,071 I'm trying to study, if you didn't notice. 559 00:53:29,073 --> 00:53:31,907 - Whaddya readin' anyway? 560 00:53:31,909 --> 00:53:36,378 - Just now I was getting into this book here. 561 00:53:36,380 --> 00:53:40,349 It's for a class on gender and sexuality. 562 00:53:40,351 --> 00:53:41,817 - It's in French. 563 00:53:42,920 --> 00:53:46,422 - Yeah, I thought I could learn French 564 00:53:46,424 --> 00:53:48,190 while studying for the class. 565 00:53:48,192 --> 00:53:50,092 - Oh, yeah, good idea. 566 00:53:51,229 --> 00:53:54,196 - Right, well, this one is amazing. 567 00:53:56,968 --> 00:53:59,201 I mean, it's actually devastating to read. 568 00:53:59,203 --> 00:54:02,171 It's kind of a memoir of the author's 569 00:54:02,173 --> 00:54:04,807 history of sexual abuse by men. 570 00:54:07,011 --> 00:54:08,944 - I know what it means to be a woman. 571 00:54:08,946 --> 00:54:11,347 I don't need books to tell me. 572 00:54:11,349 --> 00:54:13,949 There's more than one kind of violence. 573 00:54:13,951 --> 00:54:16,685 I've been around enough to know. 574 00:54:17,855 --> 00:54:20,356 I mean, what's the plan, man? 575 00:54:22,326 --> 00:54:25,227 Will you save women once and for all 576 00:54:25,229 --> 00:54:28,530 with the ink of your pen? 577 00:54:28,532 --> 00:54:30,766 What do you know about it? 578 00:54:35,539 --> 00:54:37,506 There's no textbook, you know? 579 00:54:37,508 --> 00:54:42,077 You can't read about that and expect to understand it. 580 00:54:47,318 --> 00:54:48,884 - Hey, I love you. 581 00:54:52,156 --> 00:54:53,922 - Then love me. 582 00:54:53,924 --> 00:54:55,958 Quit loving your books. 583 00:55:02,600 --> 00:55:05,367 It doesn't make it more true if you repeat it in French. 584 00:55:13,544 --> 00:55:16,412 Does not sound pretty, whatever you said. 585 00:55:16,414 --> 00:55:19,548 - I said, "Tell me you love me, too." 586 00:55:20,418 --> 00:55:21,583 Or don't you? 587 00:55:23,821 --> 00:55:26,755 - There aren't words for everything. 588 00:55:33,197 --> 00:55:35,364 Tommy, be gentle with me. 589 00:55:36,567 --> 00:55:40,703 I promise to be nice. 590 00:55:40,705 --> 00:55:43,138 - No promises, be gentle. 591 00:55:43,140 --> 00:55:44,340 You can. 592 00:56:11,635 --> 00:56:13,869 And it's always like that. 593 00:56:16,006 --> 00:56:17,740 We kiss, kiss, kiss. 594 00:56:20,444 --> 00:56:24,380 Then he disappears, goes down to whisper 595 00:56:24,382 --> 00:56:26,715 secrets in between my legs. 596 00:56:28,719 --> 00:56:32,020 But I wonder sometimes if it's not more 597 00:56:33,758 --> 00:56:35,991 for him than it is for me, 598 00:56:38,028 --> 00:56:40,529 as if he whispers to himself. 599 00:56:42,666 --> 00:56:47,736 And the sound of my pleasure returns his gift, like an echo, 600 00:56:50,174 --> 00:56:52,474 as if I'm just an echo box. 601 00:56:57,214 --> 00:57:01,383 Well, you have to be empty to be a good echo box. 602 00:57:06,023 --> 00:57:09,658 In the end, it's hard to understand how to receive 603 00:57:09,660 --> 00:57:13,495 a gift that was taken from you to begin with. 604 00:57:18,469 --> 00:57:21,437 And I'll tell you another thing. 605 00:57:21,439 --> 00:57:24,606 To understand Tommy, you have to know 606 00:57:24,608 --> 00:57:29,211 that the softest skin on his whole body is here, 607 00:57:29,213 --> 00:57:33,549 the skin on the bottom side of this thing when it's hard. 608 00:57:33,551 --> 00:57:36,118 And that's the secret. 609 00:57:36,120 --> 00:57:38,654 If you understand that, you can 610 00:57:38,656 --> 00:57:41,123 understand how to love a man. 611 00:57:44,795 --> 00:57:45,694 - Hey. 612 00:57:48,065 --> 00:57:50,566 No, I wanna be inside of you. 613 00:57:59,977 --> 00:58:02,411 - Typically, he refuses. 614 00:58:02,413 --> 00:58:07,483 In fact, Tommy's favorite word is no. 615 00:58:10,387 --> 00:58:13,789 Loving is easy. 616 00:58:15,025 --> 00:58:19,862 To be loved, that takes courage. 617 00:59:03,841 --> 00:59:04,740 - Oh shit. 618 00:59:07,044 --> 00:59:08,343 - What's the rush? 619 00:59:08,345 --> 00:59:10,612 - I forgot I have a class today. 620 00:59:10,614 --> 00:59:12,214 I'm late. 621 00:59:12,216 --> 00:59:16,351 - Why do you always rush to rinse off so quickly? 622 00:59:17,454 --> 00:59:19,521 - Well, 'cause I'm late. 623 00:59:20,457 --> 00:59:21,957 Gotta go. 624 00:59:21,959 --> 00:59:23,258 - Dinner? 625 00:59:23,260 --> 00:59:25,327 - Uh, I'll be home late. 626 00:59:28,098 --> 00:59:32,000 Don't wait for me. 627 01:02:30,514 --> 01:02:34,616 ♪ Tommy, is that you ♪ 628 01:02:34,618 --> 01:02:37,486 ♪ Step into the light ♪ 629 01:02:37,488 --> 01:02:39,855 ♪ Come toward me ♪ 630 01:02:57,107 --> 01:02:59,508 Tommy, stop speaking French. 631 01:03:00,978 --> 01:03:02,677 You don't speak French. 632 01:03:02,679 --> 01:03:03,879 You're drunk. 633 01:03:03,881 --> 01:03:06,581 ♪ No, see, I'm not drunk ♪ 634 01:03:06,583 --> 01:03:08,917 ♪ I'm as sharp as a knife ♪ 635 01:03:08,919 --> 01:03:13,188 ♪ Just a couple of drinks, baby, don't be so frightened ♪ 636 01:03:13,190 --> 01:03:15,357 ♪ There's nothing amiss ♪ 637 01:03:15,359 --> 01:03:17,259 ♪ Baby, don't be so tense ♪ 638 01:03:17,261 --> 01:03:19,427 ♪ I was just out with some friends ♪ 639 01:03:19,429 --> 01:03:21,730 ♪ Come on, give me a little kiss ♪ 640 01:03:35,979 --> 01:03:36,878 - Jesus. 641 01:03:39,483 --> 01:03:41,650 You're scaring me. 642 01:03:41,652 --> 01:03:43,051 What's going on? 643 01:03:49,960 --> 01:03:52,027 I'm not gonna carry you. 644 01:03:54,331 --> 01:03:56,665 - Hey, where are you going? 645 01:04:00,504 --> 01:04:02,103 Hey, just wait a second. 646 01:04:07,211 --> 01:04:09,077 - Shoot! 647 01:04:09,079 --> 01:04:10,946 - Just leave it alone. 648 01:04:12,082 --> 01:04:13,315 Just leave it! 649 01:04:15,719 --> 01:04:16,952 For chrissake. 650 01:04:19,189 --> 01:04:20,088 Babe, hey. 651 01:04:22,793 --> 01:04:24,860 Just open the door, huh? 652 01:04:25,729 --> 01:04:27,796 Listen, I'm sorry, okay? 653 01:04:30,667 --> 01:04:32,634 What are you doing? 654 01:04:32,636 --> 01:04:33,535 What's... 655 01:04:34,838 --> 01:04:37,072 What are you doing? 656 01:04:37,074 --> 01:04:37,973 Babe, hey! 657 01:04:41,979 --> 01:04:43,111 Damn. 658 01:04:43,113 --> 01:04:44,145 Carolyn! 659 01:04:47,084 --> 01:04:48,884 Hey, what's the plan? 660 01:04:53,657 --> 01:04:56,424 Going to look for the cat? 661 01:04:56,426 --> 01:04:57,325 Shit. 662 01:05:03,700 --> 01:05:04,599 Carolyn! 663 01:06:07,130 --> 01:06:08,997 ♪ You just never ♪ 664 01:06:08,999 --> 01:06:10,865 ♪ You ♪ 665 01:06:49,673 --> 01:06:54,409 ♪ I miss that house, I miss that bedroom ♪ 666 01:06:54,411 --> 01:06:59,481 ♪ The way the world comes right through ♪ 667 01:07:00,517 --> 01:07:02,550 ♪ Like you came to me ♪ ♪ The window ♪ 668 01:07:02,552 --> 01:07:03,985 ♪ In the spring ♪ 669 01:07:03,987 --> 01:07:09,024 ♪ And you know we could've been so right ♪ 670 01:07:10,927 --> 01:07:13,862 ♪ But it's so wrong ♪ 671 01:07:13,864 --> 01:07:15,730 ♪ Always wondering ♪ 672 01:07:15,732 --> 01:07:19,567 ♪ Will we last through the night ♪ 673 01:07:19,569 --> 01:07:23,872 ♪ I hold you so dear ♪ ♪ I held you so dear ♪ 674 01:07:23,874 --> 01:07:28,943 ♪ You really made me believe in all of your dreams ♪ 675 01:07:30,047 --> 01:07:33,815 ♪ But the nightmares run more deep ♪ 676 01:07:33,817 --> 01:07:37,652 ♪ Please forgive, Carolyn ♪ 677 01:07:37,654 --> 01:07:41,656 ♪ I'd do anything to make you stay ♪ 678 01:07:41,658 --> 01:07:46,027 ♪ Well, you've done enough, you had my trust ♪ 679 01:07:46,029 --> 01:07:50,532 ♪ But tell me there's still hope for us ♪ 680 01:07:50,534 --> 01:07:55,236 ♪ I don't wish you on anyone ♪ 681 01:07:55,238 --> 01:07:57,038 ♪ When we are done ♪ 682 01:07:57,040 --> 01:08:00,075 ♪ Don't leave me alone ♪ 683 01:08:00,077 --> 01:08:03,878 ♪ Let me repair this ♪ 684 01:08:03,880 --> 01:08:07,582 ♪ I hope you find your way ♪ 685 01:08:07,584 --> 01:08:11,352 ♪ To everything you wanted ♪ 686 01:08:11,354 --> 01:08:15,290 ♪ I hope you find the questions ♪ 687 01:08:15,292 --> 01:08:20,361 ♪ We know you've already got all the answers ♪ 688 01:08:42,319 --> 01:08:45,820 ♪ We used to laugh ♪ 689 01:08:45,822 --> 01:08:49,457 ♪ We used to sleep the day away ♪ 690 01:08:49,459 --> 01:08:53,394 ♪ We didn't care about ♪ 691 01:08:53,396 --> 01:08:58,466 ♪ The time or the place ♪ ♪ It was you me, happily ♪ 692 01:08:59,169 --> 01:09:02,937 ♪ I felt you so strong ♪ 693 01:09:02,939 --> 01:09:06,774 ♪ You were the right to all my wrongs ♪ 694 01:09:06,776 --> 01:09:09,377 ♪ And in the morning light ♪ 695 01:09:09,379 --> 01:09:12,680 ♪ It was you and me, trembling ♪ 696 01:09:12,682 --> 01:09:16,451 ♪ I wanted you to be the one ♪ 697 01:09:16,453 --> 01:09:20,288 ♪ I wanted you to be the one ♪ 698 01:09:20,290 --> 01:09:24,058 ♪ I wanted you to be the one ♪ 699 01:09:24,060 --> 01:09:27,896 ♪ I wanted you to be the one ♪ 700 01:09:43,146 --> 01:09:47,015 ♪ I wanted you to be the one, be the one ♪ 701 01:09:47,017 --> 01:09:50,885 ♪ I wanted you to be the one, be the one ♪ 702 01:09:50,887 --> 01:09:54,622 ♪ I wanted you to be the one, be the one ♪ 703 01:09:54,624 --> 01:09:58,560 ♪ I wanted you to be the one, be the one ♪ 704 01:09:58,562 --> 01:10:02,263 ♪ I wanted you to be the one, be the one ♪ 705 01:10:02,265 --> 01:10:06,067 ♪ I wanted you to be the one, be the one ♪ 706 01:10:06,069 --> 01:10:09,971 ♪ I wanted you to be the one, be the one ♪ 707 01:10:09,973 --> 01:10:15,043 ♪ I wanted you to be the one, be the one ♪ 708 01:10:15,879 --> 01:10:20,181 ♪ I was drifting in misery ♪ 709 01:10:20,183 --> 01:10:21,883 ♪ Apart from he ♪ 710 01:10:21,885 --> 01:10:26,955 ♪ I swear you won't come to regret this ♪ 711 01:10:28,592 --> 01:10:32,460 ♪ I hope we find our way ♪ 712 01:10:32,462 --> 01:10:36,197 ♪ I am adrift without you ♪ 713 01:10:36,199 --> 01:10:40,134 ♪ I will be gentle, Carolyn ♪ 714 01:10:40,136 --> 01:10:42,070 ♪ No promises ♪ 715 01:10:42,072 --> 01:10:46,140 ♪ I will return the love I take ♪ 716 01:11:12,035 --> 01:11:15,737 - I was told that you were never actually married, 717 01:11:15,739 --> 01:11:19,240 that you proposed to her with a Ring Pop. 718 01:11:21,978 --> 01:11:24,345 Why are you so scared of being alone? 719 01:11:24,347 --> 01:11:25,513 - Well, I-- 720 01:11:25,515 --> 01:11:28,816 - Do you ever wonder if by refusing 721 01:11:28,818 --> 01:11:31,019 to let your love take its own shape, 722 01:11:31,021 --> 01:11:33,488 by struggling to maintain control 723 01:11:33,490 --> 01:11:35,890 over something as fluid as affection, 724 01:11:35,892 --> 01:11:39,060 that you don't damage it all the more? 725 01:11:39,062 --> 01:11:42,997 That you don't suffocate both yourself 726 01:11:42,999 --> 01:11:45,633 and the one you supposedly hold most dear? 727 01:11:45,635 --> 01:11:46,567 - Well, I suppose-- 728 01:11:46,569 --> 01:11:49,304 - I suppose you believe yourself 729 01:11:50,774 --> 01:11:53,541 to be the true guardian of your love? 730 01:11:53,543 --> 01:11:55,843 Can't you see you've come to resent her, 731 01:11:55,845 --> 01:11:59,113 like a child resents a mother whose warmth he yet craves? 732 01:11:59,115 --> 01:12:00,648 - I-- 733 01:12:00,650 --> 01:12:04,218 - Must love and freedom be so relentlessly opposed? 734 01:12:07,424 --> 01:12:09,891 You grasp after her like water 735 01:12:12,228 --> 01:12:15,530 in your hands, that is to say, in vain. 736 01:12:32,549 --> 01:12:36,584 ♪ Here we are again ♪ 737 01:12:36,586 --> 01:12:40,421 ♪ I wait for him ♪ 738 01:12:40,423 --> 01:12:45,493 ♪ To come to me, but it's all the same ♪ 739 01:12:47,163 --> 01:12:50,498 ♪ Nothin' ever changes ♪ 740 01:13:15,825 --> 01:13:19,627 ♪ Just look at him go, it's all a race ♪ 741 01:13:19,629 --> 01:13:24,465 ♪ He carries the weight of a world full of pain ♪ 742 01:13:24,467 --> 01:13:27,969 ♪ He thinks I left over one little fight ♪ 743 01:13:27,971 --> 01:13:32,974 ♪ One broken mirror once upon a dark night ♪ 744 01:13:40,817 --> 01:13:44,485 ♪ But it runs more deep than such mistakes ♪ 745 01:13:44,487 --> 01:13:49,056 ♪ Something deeper in him is far out of place ♪ 746 01:13:49,058 --> 01:13:52,727 ♪ No sweetness in his voice, no warmth in his touch ♪ 747 01:13:52,729 --> 01:13:57,799 ♪ No laughter at all, and as for love, there's not much ♪ 748 01:14:14,117 --> 01:14:17,585 ♪ The season has changed, the rain never stops ♪ 749 01:14:17,587 --> 01:14:22,223 ♪ When he looks at me, he sees a war to be fought ♪ 750 01:14:22,225 --> 01:14:25,827 ♪ A wrong to be righted, a goal to achieve ♪ 751 01:14:25,829 --> 01:14:30,898 ♪ A damsel to save for his own damn reprieve ♪ 752 01:14:46,916 --> 01:14:51,118 ♪ The months hurry past, how long will it be ♪ 753 01:14:51,120 --> 01:14:55,156 ♪ And what comes of me if and when he succeeds ♪ 754 01:14:55,158 --> 01:14:58,860 ♪ He doesn't want me, for sure, but he needs me for now ♪ 755 01:14:58,862 --> 01:15:03,931 ♪ He doesn't love me, for sure, but without me, he'd drown ♪ 756 01:15:07,937 --> 01:15:12,073 ♪ Here we are again ♪ 757 01:15:12,075 --> 01:15:16,177 ♪ I wait for him ♪ 758 01:15:16,179 --> 01:15:21,249 ♪ To come to me, but it's all the same ♪ 759 01:15:23,353 --> 01:15:27,522 ♪ Nothing ever changes ♪ 760 01:15:27,524 --> 01:15:31,492 ♪ Everything's the same ♪ 761 01:15:31,494 --> 01:15:35,229 ♪ Soon we will be strangers ♪ 762 01:16:30,320 --> 01:16:34,722 ♪ Every day, every night ♪ 763 01:16:34,724 --> 01:16:39,293 ♪ A man's eye, the butcher's knife ♪ 764 01:16:39,295 --> 01:16:43,798 ♪ At work, on the street ♪ 765 01:16:43,800 --> 01:16:48,369 ♪ A woman's curve, the butcher's meat ♪ 766 01:17:48,598 --> 01:17:53,668 ♪ But I am indivisible ♪ 767 01:17:56,973 --> 01:18:02,043 ♪ I am more than visible ♪ 768 01:18:03,413 --> 01:18:07,148 ♪ You can't dissect my love ♪ 769 01:19:10,379 --> 01:19:15,449 ♪ Whatever he might have done to make you hurt ♪ 770 01:19:16,586 --> 01:19:20,621 ♪ To make you run, it's over now ♪ 771 01:19:20,623 --> 01:19:23,457 ♪ Leave it all behind you ♪ 772 01:19:23,459 --> 01:19:26,393 ♪ A new day has begun ♪ 773 01:20:17,647 --> 01:20:19,613 Hey, you're home early. 774 01:20:20,550 --> 01:20:21,849 Is everything okay? - What? 775 01:20:21,851 --> 01:20:23,083 I don't know. - What? 776 01:20:23,085 --> 01:20:24,485 - I left. - What do you mean you left? 777 01:20:24,487 --> 01:20:25,319 - I just left. 778 01:20:25,321 --> 01:20:26,220 I... 779 01:20:30,760 --> 01:20:33,160 I forgot something at home. 780 01:20:33,162 --> 01:20:34,428 I had to come home to get something. 781 01:20:51,781 --> 01:20:54,415 - You ever heard the old adage, 782 01:20:55,484 --> 01:20:58,219 if you love something, let it go? 783 01:20:59,522 --> 01:21:00,554 - I thought you were supposed to help me 784 01:21:00,556 --> 01:21:02,957 feel better about all of this? 785 01:21:02,959 --> 01:21:06,727 - Oh no, I'm sorry for the misunderstanding. 786 01:21:06,729 --> 01:21:09,096 We're here precisely to make you hate yourself more. 787 01:21:09,098 --> 01:21:12,967 Think of me as the personification of your guilt. 788 01:21:12,969 --> 01:21:15,202 I'll see you next time. 789 01:21:15,204 --> 01:21:18,906 We'll get to the bottom of those dreams. 790 01:21:18,908 --> 01:21:21,075 - And what about Carolyn? 791 01:21:22,378 --> 01:21:26,647 - Yes, indeed, being concerned for her wellbeing, 792 01:21:26,649 --> 01:21:28,282 I'm compelled to issue an alert 793 01:21:28,284 --> 01:21:30,384 to the Department of Protective Services. 794 01:21:30,386 --> 01:21:32,286 My colleagues will keep vigil and organize 795 01:21:32,288 --> 01:21:35,522 the inquest if anything should happen. 796 01:21:37,493 --> 01:21:39,727 If anything should happen, 797 01:21:43,366 --> 01:21:45,766 you will be hearing from us. 798 01:23:03,679 --> 01:23:08,716 ♪ Hello, hello, pick up the phone ♪ 799 01:23:09,552 --> 01:23:12,219 ♪ I'm scared of the dark ♪ 800 01:23:12,221 --> 01:23:15,923 ♪ I'm scared to be alone ♪ 801 01:23:15,925 --> 01:23:18,692 ♪ I've had a bad dream ♪ 802 01:23:18,694 --> 01:23:21,295 ♪ Something's haunting me ♪ 803 01:23:21,297 --> 01:23:24,865 ♪ It's a dark night, Tommy ♪ 804 01:23:24,867 --> 01:23:28,335 ♪ When will you be home ♪ 805 01:23:28,337 --> 01:23:31,572 ♪ Yesterday, I swore I'd never ♪ 806 01:23:31,574 --> 01:23:34,041 ♪ Today, I'm just like them ♪ 807 01:23:34,043 --> 01:23:36,677 ♪ When I can feel the blood that pulls ♪ 808 01:23:36,679 --> 01:23:40,814 ♪ I go and barter all the books for chemicals ♪ 809 01:23:40,816 --> 01:23:43,784 ♪ What's the difference in the end ♪ 810 01:23:43,786 --> 01:23:46,520 ♪ The butcher knife or the silver pen ♪ 811 01:23:46,522 --> 01:23:50,224 ♪ Whatever you will separate, whether the body ♪ 812 01:23:50,226 --> 01:23:53,293 ♪ Or the world, it's all the same ♪ 813 01:23:53,295 --> 01:23:58,365 ♪ Hello, hello, please pick up the phone ♪ 814 01:23:59,201 --> 01:24:01,668 ♪ Are you there, my love ♪ 815 01:24:01,670 --> 01:24:05,773 ♪ We don't have to be alone ♪ 816 01:24:05,775 --> 01:24:08,842 ♪ I know there is another ♪ 817 01:24:08,844 --> 01:24:13,881 ♪ She is the one who loves me, knowing my dark charade ♪ 818 01:24:15,284 --> 01:24:18,152 ♪ But how can I abide the one who knows my shame ♪ 819 01:24:18,154 --> 01:24:21,255 ♪ Yesterday, I swore I'd never ♪ 820 01:24:21,257 --> 01:24:26,326 ♪ Today, I take the key, and even in the love I make ♪ 821 01:24:27,396 --> 01:24:31,298 ♪ I find another little riddle to explain ♪ 822 01:24:48,384 --> 01:24:51,185 ♪ I am the butcher ♪ 823 01:24:51,187 --> 01:24:55,255 ♪ I am the butchered one ♪ 824 01:24:55,257 --> 01:24:59,960 ♪ I am the very man that I loathe ♪ 825 01:24:59,962 --> 01:25:05,032 ♪ When I do the thing I hate the most ♪ 826 01:25:05,868 --> 01:25:10,537 ♪ Where you begin I end ♪ 827 01:25:12,274 --> 01:25:14,041 ♪ I have ♪ 828 01:25:14,043 --> 01:25:19,113 ♪ Only yourself left to rend ♪ 829 01:25:20,683 --> 01:25:22,349 ♪ I am ♪ 830 01:25:22,351 --> 01:25:26,386 ♪ It may be too late for me ♪ 831 01:25:26,388 --> 01:25:28,822 ♪ But don't repeat it ♪ 832 01:25:28,824 --> 01:25:31,325 ♪ Please don't hurt her ♪ 833 01:25:31,327 --> 01:25:33,393 ♪ Don't abuse her ♪ 834 01:25:33,395 --> 01:25:38,465 ♪ Don't you know your blows are only aimed at you ♪ 835 01:27:22,605 --> 01:27:27,674 ♪ When we were younger ♪ 836 01:27:28,377 --> 01:27:32,980 ♪ When we were pure ♪ 837 01:27:34,116 --> 01:27:36,483 ♪ When we were still unaware of the slow ♪ 838 01:27:36,485 --> 01:27:41,555 ♪ And steady death our young love would endure ♪ 839 01:27:43,425 --> 01:27:48,495 ♪ Love was a song ♪ 840 01:27:49,632 --> 01:27:52,266 ♪ And we said nothing that could not be sung ♪ 841 01:27:52,268 --> 01:27:57,337 ♪ The song upon our dripping tongues was all ♪ 842 01:28:08,384 --> 01:28:13,086 ♪ I wanted you to be the one ♪ 843 01:28:13,088 --> 01:28:18,025 ♪ I wanted you to be the one ♪ 844 01:28:18,027 --> 01:28:22,863 ♪ I wanted you to be the one ♪ 845 01:28:22,865 --> 01:28:26,700 ♪ I wanted you to be the one ♪ 846 01:28:28,137 --> 01:28:32,906 ♪ I wanted you to be the one ♪ ♪ Oh, you just never know ♪ 847 01:28:34,276 --> 01:28:38,111 ♪ I wanted you to be the one ♪ ♪ You and me could be ♪ 848 01:28:38,113 --> 01:28:41,315 ♪ I wanted you to be the one ♪ ♪ Together ♪ 849 01:28:41,317 --> 01:28:42,949 ♪ You just never know ♪ 850 01:28:42,951 --> 01:28:47,821 ♪ I wanted you to be the one ♪ ♪ You and me could be ♪ 851 01:28:47,823 --> 01:28:51,058 ♪ I wanted you to be the one ♪ ♪ Together ♪ 852 01:28:51,060 --> 01:28:52,693 ♪ You just never know ♪ 853 01:28:52,695 --> 01:28:57,664 ♪ I wanted you to be ♪ ♪ You ♪ 854 01:29:40,376 --> 01:29:43,477 - Tommy, no matter how I try, 855 01:29:43,479 --> 01:29:46,446 I can't even seem to bring myself to cry. 856 01:29:46,448 --> 01:29:49,116 I'm an empty shell for you, oh Risen Lord. 857 01:29:49,118 --> 01:29:50,317 I am your empty tomb. 858 01:29:50,319 --> 01:29:52,753 Good earth, good womb, good wife too. 859 01:29:52,755 --> 01:29:55,155 What am I but a dwelling place for you? 860 01:29:55,157 --> 01:29:56,590 How you drew me in. 861 01:29:56,592 --> 01:29:59,526 I fell for Tommy the dreamer, bright eyes, twin stars, 862 01:29:59,528 --> 01:30:01,828 so full of charm, so sweet and warm. 863 01:30:01,830 --> 01:30:03,964 You held me fast between your rigid arms. 864 01:30:03,966 --> 01:30:05,465 And I should've seen it comin', 865 01:30:05,467 --> 01:30:07,901 the push and pull that kept me on my toes. 866 01:30:07,903 --> 01:30:09,536 But I've danced around your fears 867 01:30:09,538 --> 01:30:11,638 for one too many unbecoming years. 868 01:30:11,640 --> 01:30:12,839 What harm lies here? 869 01:30:12,841 --> 01:30:14,341 What sorry past-- 870 01:30:14,343 --> 01:30:16,643 Poor kid, who told you that love and freedom were opposed? 871 01:30:16,645 --> 01:30:18,145 They're one and the same. 872 01:30:18,147 --> 01:30:20,981 But even so, you come and go, and I, the solid ground, 873 01:30:20,983 --> 01:30:24,317 the tether pole your orbit turns around, well, I remain. 874 01:30:24,319 --> 01:30:25,919 Didn't I keep watch for you? 875 01:30:25,921 --> 01:30:27,821 Hold fast the thread attached to you? 876 01:30:27,823 --> 01:30:29,289 To watch as it unwound? 877 01:30:29,291 --> 01:30:32,159 To count your steps and remind you of the way back home? 878 01:30:32,161 --> 01:30:34,561 Good earth, good womb, good wife too. 879 01:30:34,563 --> 01:30:36,830 What was I but a ball of clay for you? 880 01:30:36,832 --> 01:30:38,799 Your secret fears like fingers crept 881 01:30:38,801 --> 01:30:40,801 behind my eyes and made them shine. 882 01:30:40,803 --> 01:30:43,336 You carved a mouth tuned to the tenor of your name. 883 01:30:43,338 --> 01:30:45,872 My hair grew long, became a nest for you, 884 01:30:45,874 --> 01:30:48,542 and I felt my brow grow heavy with your pain. 885 01:30:48,544 --> 01:30:50,744 Even now, my sadness bores you. 886 01:30:50,746 --> 01:30:53,480 You no longer want me, but you cannot let me go. 887 01:30:53,482 --> 01:30:55,949 Well, here is your longed-for freedom. 888 01:30:55,951 --> 01:31:00,153 I was only in your way, but now it's my time for me to flee, 889 01:31:00,155 --> 01:31:02,422 to rediscover my own right of way. 890 01:31:02,424 --> 01:31:05,392 I go tonight out from these walls built by fear. 891 01:31:05,394 --> 01:31:06,893 You wear me out. 892 01:31:06,895 --> 01:31:09,763 Let me go to the place where I have not yet arrived. 893 01:31:09,765 --> 01:31:12,432 Goodbye my love, my breath, my life. 894 01:31:12,434 --> 01:31:15,936 I'm going to where I haven't yet arrived. 895 01:33:13,755 --> 01:33:16,556 - Tommy, we know you're in there. 896 01:34:14,216 --> 01:34:16,282 - We're bringing him in. 897 01:34:40,709 --> 01:34:43,276 - Over here, Tommy! 898 01:35:08,770 --> 01:35:10,070 - Tommy? 899 01:35:32,828 --> 01:35:35,328 - Now where were we? 900 01:35:35,330 --> 01:35:36,529 Hm. 901 01:35:36,531 --> 01:35:39,966 Oh, right, come here, you little vermin. 902 01:35:39,968 --> 01:35:45,038 We've got a case to close, so get off the ground! 903 01:35:48,110 --> 01:35:53,179 ♪ And now we've come to the final sentencing ♪ 904 01:35:55,450 --> 01:36:00,520 ♪ Who is this lady strangely called ♪ 905 01:36:01,223 --> 01:36:02,889 ♪ By the name of Yes ♪ 906 01:36:02,891 --> 01:36:05,658 ♪ Who is she ♪ 907 01:36:05,660 --> 01:36:07,026 ♪ Oh, what a show ♪ 908 01:36:07,028 --> 01:36:09,162 ♪ How it sets me aglow to bare the truth ♪ 909 01:36:09,164 --> 01:36:10,663 ♪ That everyone wants to know ♪ 910 01:36:10,665 --> 01:36:12,899 ♪ But I design to withhold my surprise ♪ 911 01:36:12,901 --> 01:36:16,402 ♪ Until each and every witness has a go ♪ 912 01:36:16,404 --> 01:36:19,105 - You may call forth the first witness. 913 01:36:37,759 --> 01:36:40,293 ♪ Ha, ha, ha, yeah ♪ 914 01:36:46,635 --> 01:36:47,534 - Stop! 915 01:36:48,970 --> 01:36:53,473 Oh, you think that I really give a fuck! 916 01:36:53,475 --> 01:36:54,974 You can point your little fingers 917 01:36:54,976 --> 01:36:58,011 any way you want, but I'm not the only one! 918 01:37:02,984 --> 01:37:04,818 So who'll throw the first stone? 919 01:37:06,021 --> 01:37:07,253 What's the matter? 920 01:37:07,255 --> 01:37:09,189 I thought I was the one you chose 921 01:37:09,191 --> 01:37:11,191 to pay for the sins of a world 922 01:37:11,193 --> 01:37:14,160 full of men too scared to be alone! 923 01:37:15,497 --> 01:37:18,264 - If only it were so simple. 924 01:37:18,266 --> 01:37:21,267 But you can't pass guilt around that way. 925 01:37:21,269 --> 01:37:23,002 It's much too sticky, you see. 926 01:37:23,004 --> 01:37:24,637 Much like glue, it sticks to you 927 01:37:24,639 --> 01:37:27,707 just as soon as you've passed it to me! 928 01:37:27,709 --> 01:37:30,777 And you're still forgetting one thing. 929 01:37:30,779 --> 01:37:34,113 There's still one more charge to this hearing. 930 01:37:34,115 --> 01:37:36,115 Let's hear what the Defense has to say. 931 01:37:36,117 --> 01:37:41,020 He's been oh so quiet since the scales have tipped my way! 932 01:37:42,057 --> 01:37:45,425 - Does the Defense wish to call a witness? 933 01:37:47,562 --> 01:37:50,964 Does the Defense have a final statement? 934 01:37:56,371 --> 01:37:59,439 - There goes your last chance, boy! 935 01:37:59,441 --> 01:38:01,407 I guess it's up to you. 936 01:38:02,510 --> 01:38:05,678 - Does the accused have any last words? 937 01:38:05,680 --> 01:38:08,047 ♪ Do you have any last words ♪ 938 01:38:08,049 --> 01:38:10,617 ♪ Yes please, yes sir, I do, sir ♪ 939 01:38:10,619 --> 01:38:14,754 ♪ But I don't know just how I can say this ♪ 940 01:38:14,756 --> 01:38:18,258 ♪ My heart beats much too quickly ♪ 941 01:38:18,260 --> 01:38:20,627 ♪ And I feel that I might explode ♪ 942 01:38:20,629 --> 01:38:24,697 ♪ So rare that I fail to find the right words ♪ 943 01:38:24,699 --> 01:38:27,700 ♪ Typically they come right from my golden tongue ♪ 944 01:38:27,702 --> 01:38:31,004 ♪ Like a river flows, but now, I don't know ♪ 945 01:38:42,984 --> 01:38:44,884 ♪ Hey ♪ 946 01:38:50,358 --> 01:38:52,258 ♪ Hey ♪ 947 01:39:03,872 --> 01:39:04,771 - Woo! 948 01:39:07,742 --> 01:39:08,608 Hm. 949 01:39:22,791 --> 01:39:23,690 - Order! 950 01:39:24,960 --> 01:39:28,628 The Prosecution may make a final statement. 951 01:39:32,867 --> 01:39:35,301 - There is nothing so arbitrary 952 01:39:35,303 --> 01:39:38,604 as a fence around a plot of land 953 01:39:38,606 --> 01:39:41,341 or a body with a line around it. 954 01:39:43,111 --> 01:39:45,845 And what have we here but an empty frame! 955 01:39:45,847 --> 01:39:49,115 A rusted, barbed-wire fence, there's nothing there, 956 01:39:49,117 --> 01:39:52,418 no property, no ground on which to build a foundation, 957 01:39:52,420 --> 01:39:56,856 the basic building blocks of what we commonly call love. 958 01:39:56,858 --> 01:39:59,092 The story begins with two nascent twins, 959 01:39:59,094 --> 01:40:00,994 bound together in the mother's warmth. 960 01:40:00,996 --> 01:40:02,929 But what was for one a nurturing womb 961 01:40:02,931 --> 01:40:06,299 would become for the other a dark and deathly tomb. 962 01:40:06,301 --> 01:40:08,267 They did everything they could to save the second child, 963 01:40:08,269 --> 01:40:10,103 and their efforts weren't in vain. 964 01:40:10,105 --> 01:40:13,606 But with her hand held fast by her desperate love, 965 01:40:13,608 --> 01:40:17,076 the mother died from the physical strain. 966 01:40:17,078 --> 01:40:19,979 And there he was, our unlucky boy, 967 01:40:19,981 --> 01:40:22,749 a life wrought in exchange for two. 968 01:40:22,751 --> 01:40:24,250 And as the father refused to hold him close, 969 01:40:24,252 --> 01:40:26,285 he learnt from day one the debt that was due, 970 01:40:26,287 --> 01:40:29,222 so he searched for a way to earn his very life! 971 01:40:29,224 --> 01:40:31,624 He found a thousand different ways to tell the story 972 01:40:31,626 --> 01:40:35,695 of his loss and a means to exonerate, but in every corner, 973 01:40:35,697 --> 01:40:38,831 a finger pointed, a swelling sea of shame. 974 01:40:38,833 --> 01:40:43,736 Buried in books, he found his mother on every single page. 975 01:40:44,806 --> 01:40:48,241 Along comes Carolyn, poor girl. 976 01:40:48,243 --> 01:40:49,776 What need I say? 977 01:40:49,778 --> 01:40:52,145 We've all witnessed her tale, just one of the more tragic 978 01:40:52,147 --> 01:40:54,714 of his attempts to find his place. 979 01:40:54,716 --> 01:40:57,850 Oh, the irony of a man who champions 980 01:40:57,852 --> 01:41:01,054 the safety and care of women but cannot love 981 01:41:01,056 --> 01:41:03,656 the one who waits with open arms beside him. 982 01:41:03,658 --> 01:41:07,560 A true dialogue of compassion between flesh and blood 983 01:41:07,562 --> 01:41:11,531 is replaced by the idea, the mere image of love. 984 01:41:13,868 --> 01:41:15,468 And so poor Carolyn was sacrificed 985 01:41:15,470 --> 01:41:18,304 to his self-serving crusade, a sad little man 986 01:41:18,306 --> 01:41:21,407 with a sorry tale and a whole wide world 987 01:41:21,409 --> 01:41:24,644 to save, which brings us here today. 988 01:41:24,646 --> 01:41:27,880 And what do we make of this lady, Yes, 989 01:41:28,783 --> 01:41:30,883 such a strange and unheard name. 990 01:41:30,885 --> 01:41:32,552 But it's all too clear if the jury knows 991 01:41:32,554 --> 01:41:35,688 that his favorite word was always no. 992 01:41:35,690 --> 01:41:37,323 And what is it that he refuses? 993 01:41:37,325 --> 01:41:39,525 What are these secret fears of yours? 994 01:41:39,527 --> 01:41:42,328 Why do you tremble at the thought of losing your grip? 995 01:41:42,330 --> 01:41:45,631 What is this property that you clench with white knuckles? 996 01:41:45,633 --> 01:41:47,834 Are not your hands wrapped around her very throat? 997 01:41:47,836 --> 01:41:49,769 Is it not her skin that you wear like a wreath 998 01:41:49,771 --> 01:41:52,438 around your neck, or a crown of thorns? 999 01:41:52,440 --> 01:41:54,440 Are not her bones the very frame 1000 01:41:54,442 --> 01:41:56,642 that kept you sane and composed? 1001 01:41:56,644 --> 01:41:59,479 And without this frame, he would scatter like dust! 1002 01:41:59,481 --> 01:42:02,949 The infinite uncertainty of Yes, 1003 01:42:02,951 --> 01:42:07,186 yes to the mystery of suffering that cannot be explained, 1004 01:42:07,188 --> 01:42:08,788 yes to the life you've been given 1005 01:42:08,790 --> 01:42:11,724 despite or because of its inaugural pain. 1006 01:42:11,726 --> 01:42:14,327 yes to the one who would love you in spite of yourself, 1007 01:42:14,329 --> 01:42:16,395 to the love she gave, not meant to be earned, 1008 01:42:16,397 --> 01:42:18,965 nothing to pay back, no price in return, 1009 01:42:18,967 --> 01:42:22,068 for love is not much like a bartered exchange, 1010 01:42:22,070 --> 01:42:26,639 and yes to the past, for the joy and the pain. 1011 01:42:26,641 --> 01:42:31,711 But no was your preferred response, a disposition of denial. 1012 01:42:33,081 --> 01:42:36,182 But a pain repressed will be otherwise expressed, 1013 01:42:36,184 --> 01:42:38,718 and hence our gathering today. 1014 01:42:38,720 --> 01:42:42,088 And so it is, the final charge against you, 1015 01:42:42,090 --> 01:42:45,091 that you have slain the lady, Yes, 1016 01:42:45,093 --> 01:42:46,893 woman who wades through a sea of names 1017 01:42:46,895 --> 01:42:48,394 but who cannot be allowed to speak, 1018 01:42:48,396 --> 01:42:51,531 who sings instead, whose voice quivers softly, 1019 01:42:51,533 --> 01:42:53,799 high above your little fortress of fear. 1020 01:42:53,801 --> 01:42:58,104 She is the tremor of silence, the whisper of possibility, 1021 01:42:58,106 --> 01:43:01,340 the fluidity within your very own soul that you have 1022 01:43:01,342 --> 01:43:06,179 made rigid, petrified to supply the lie to your feeble mind 1023 01:43:06,181 --> 01:43:09,982 that behind your name, something real resides. 1024 01:43:12,453 --> 01:43:15,021 To tell the truth, I pity you, 1025 01:43:16,858 --> 01:43:21,694 for who knew that a true dialogue was one without speech? 1026 01:43:24,098 --> 01:43:29,168 Two pairs of unblinking eyes, an exchange of beating hearts. 1027 01:43:31,506 --> 01:43:33,839 Two lips poised, half open, 1028 01:43:36,811 --> 01:43:39,946 ready to speak, but never speaking 1029 01:43:39,948 --> 01:43:43,015 a single word, except one word, yes. 1030 01:43:46,788 --> 01:43:51,157 ♪ Yes to the invisible ♪ 1031 01:43:51,159 --> 01:43:55,494 ♪ Yes for you, is it impossible ♪ 1032 01:43:55,496 --> 01:43:59,932 ♪ Yes to a mystery unsolved ♪ 1033 01:43:59,934 --> 01:44:04,337 ♪ Yes, the hardest word of them all ♪ 1034 01:44:11,946 --> 01:44:16,816 ♪ Oh, isn't that precisely it, a mystery you can resist ♪ 1035 01:44:16,818 --> 01:44:21,887 ♪ You can't quite get your finger on it ♪ 1036 01:44:23,024 --> 01:44:26,025 ♪ Just like a child destroys a butterfly ♪ 1037 01:44:26,027 --> 01:44:28,427 ♪ You tear the wings off to decipher ♪ 1038 01:44:28,429 --> 01:44:32,231 ♪ Where it is the secret lies ♪ 1039 01:44:32,233 --> 01:44:36,902 ♪ You destroy the ones you love the most ♪ 1040 01:44:36,904 --> 01:44:41,974 ♪ When you can't stand a thing unknown ♪ 1041 01:44:46,848 --> 01:44:51,284 ♪ Yes to a mystery unsolved ♪ 1042 01:44:51,286 --> 01:44:55,688 ♪ Yes, the hardest word of them all ♪ 1043 01:45:07,802 --> 01:45:10,936 ♪ Oh, careful, Mr. Tommy Silver ♪ 1044 01:45:10,938 --> 01:45:13,039 ♪ You didn't really kill her ♪ 1045 01:45:13,041 --> 01:45:17,943 ♪ Though she died, the guilt is only in your mind ♪ 1046 01:45:17,945 --> 01:45:22,581 ♪ The judgment that you carry is hardly arbitrary ♪ 1047 01:45:22,583 --> 01:45:27,353 ♪ It's only what you've brought upon yourself ♪ 1048 01:45:27,355 --> 01:45:30,990 ♪ You pulled the carpet, ooh, you pulled the carpet ♪ 1049 01:45:30,992 --> 01:45:35,461 ♪ From underneath your own feet ♪ 1050 01:45:35,463 --> 01:45:39,832 ♪ And you will end up all alone ♪ 1051 01:45:39,834 --> 01:45:44,236 ♪ If you can't stand up on your own ♪ 1052 01:45:51,079 --> 01:45:52,478 - Take him away. 1053 01:45:58,319 --> 01:46:00,052 - What? 1054 01:46:00,054 --> 01:46:01,954 I am not Tommy Silver! 1055 01:46:09,864 --> 01:46:12,398 - I, I don't understand. 1056 01:46:12,400 --> 01:46:15,134 - We have heard enough from him. 1057 01:46:15,136 --> 01:46:18,137 - But then am I to be punished? 1058 01:46:18,139 --> 01:46:22,608 - But of course, my boy, the punishment is to be you. 1059 01:46:24,178 --> 01:46:27,646 You have eliminated your will to deny. 1060 01:46:27,648 --> 01:46:30,483 Now at last, together, we silence 1061 01:46:31,686 --> 01:46:34,153 the drone of your guilty cry. 1062 01:46:35,623 --> 01:46:37,923 - But then who are you? 1063 01:46:37,925 --> 01:46:39,625 - I am the listener. 1064 01:46:39,627 --> 01:46:41,460 I am the weeper. 1065 01:46:41,462 --> 01:46:44,230 I am the will to move on. 1066 01:46:44,232 --> 01:46:46,866 It is not I who judge, but you. 1067 01:46:53,875 --> 01:46:56,542 ♪ I am the tried ♪ 1068 01:46:56,544 --> 01:47:00,679 ♪ I am the trying one ♪ 1069 01:47:00,681 --> 01:47:05,251 ♪ I have no other lies to unlearn ♪ 1070 01:47:05,253 --> 01:47:10,256 ♪ There are no more bridges left to burn ♪ 1071 01:47:11,092 --> 01:47:15,761 ♪ Where we recede, you start ♪ 1072 01:47:17,331 --> 01:47:19,165 ♪ I have ♪ 1073 01:47:19,167 --> 01:47:24,236 ♪ You have fulfilled the most unpleasant part ♪ 1074 01:47:25,506 --> 01:47:27,273 ♪ I have ♪ 1075 01:47:27,275 --> 01:47:31,210 ♪ No one to hear your last plea ♪ 1076 01:47:31,212 --> 01:47:34,280 ♪ You are the judge of me ♪ 1077 01:47:34,282 --> 01:47:36,315 ♪ It is over ♪ 1078 01:47:36,317 --> 01:47:40,853 ♪ There is no one to untie your hands ♪ 1079 01:47:40,855 --> 01:47:44,190 ♪ No other can but you ♪ 1080 01:47:58,806 --> 01:48:03,876 ♪ It seems I am the author of the pantomime ♪ 1081 01:48:04,912 --> 01:48:08,848 ♪ The one behind the curtain ♪ 1082 01:48:08,850 --> 01:48:13,118 ♪ The first light of day, it gleams ♪ 1083 01:48:13,120 --> 01:48:15,788 ♪ It's time to wake up from your sleep ♪ 1084 01:48:15,790 --> 01:48:18,958 ♪ So please be gracious now ♪ 1085 01:48:18,960 --> 01:48:22,928 ♪ That I have tried to shine the light ♪ 1086 01:48:22,930 --> 01:48:28,000 ♪ On my own divided soul ♪ 1087 01:48:29,170 --> 01:48:34,240 ♪ Don't ask for whom the bells of death toll ♪ 1088 01:48:35,076 --> 01:48:37,643 ♪ It's only because I know ♪ 1089 01:48:37,645 --> 01:48:40,579 ♪ Because he knows it all too well ♪ 1090 01:48:40,581 --> 01:48:45,651 ♪ The cost and the terror of tearing one ♪ 1091 01:48:46,888 --> 01:48:49,021 ♪ In two ♪