1 00:01:20,965 --> 00:01:35,965 Fixed & Synced by bozxphd.Enjoy The Flick 2 00:01:38,966 --> 00:01:42,634 - Good morning, beautiful. 3 00:01:42,636 --> 00:01:44,903 - What time is it? 4 00:01:44,905 --> 00:01:46,805 Eh, 9:00ish. 5 00:01:46,807 --> 00:01:47,940 - Oh. 6 00:01:47,942 --> 00:01:49,141 - Thanks for sleeping over. 7 00:01:49,143 --> 00:01:50,142 - Mm-hmm. 8 00:01:50,144 --> 00:01:52,177 - Feels weird sleeping alone. 9 00:01:52,179 --> 00:01:53,946 Like I'm... Sleeping alone. 10 00:01:53,948 --> 00:01:54,980 You want to move in? 11 00:01:54,982 --> 00:01:56,949 - Ugh, no! 12 00:01:56,951 --> 00:01:59,618 You have got a bad case of the bed sprawl. 13 00:02:01,655 --> 00:02:04,790 Plus, things are getting pretty serious with Jason. 14 00:02:04,792 --> 00:02:06,158 - Jason with the hair? 15 00:02:06,160 --> 00:02:07,960 - No, Jared with the hair. 16 00:02:07,962 --> 00:02:10,429 This is Jason with the glasses. 17 00:02:10,431 --> 00:02:13,031 - Didn't you just go out with him, like, on a first date? 18 00:02:13,033 --> 00:02:14,133 - Uh-huh. 19 00:02:14,135 --> 00:02:16,335 And it was a great first date. 20 00:02:16,337 --> 00:02:18,270 And we've been texting... 21 00:02:18,272 --> 00:02:20,205 All the time! 22 00:02:24,144 --> 00:02:26,011 Anything? 23 00:02:26,013 --> 00:02:29,715 - Just the same three jobs I'm not qualified for. 24 00:02:29,717 --> 00:02:30,716 This sucks. 25 00:02:30,718 --> 00:02:32,050 - You hated that job. 26 00:02:32,052 --> 00:02:33,952 - Yeah, but at least I could pay rent. 27 00:02:33,954 --> 00:02:36,155 - Just get a temp job. 28 00:02:40,360 --> 00:02:42,861 Jason! 29 00:02:42,863 --> 00:02:45,497 - Who would ever want to work a temp job? 30 00:02:50,036 --> 00:02:52,938 - Wakey, wakey, eggs and bakey. 31 00:03:00,548 --> 00:03:02,080 - Actually, no bakey. 32 00:03:02,082 --> 00:03:03,382 But there's a goat cheese 33 00:03:03,384 --> 00:03:05,217 and squash frittata in the fridge. 34 00:03:05,219 --> 00:03:07,486 You can heat it in the toaster oven at 350 35 00:03:07,488 --> 00:03:09,588 or totally ruin it in the micro. 36 00:03:09,590 --> 00:03:11,924 - Amaretto mimosa? - Oh, no, thanks. 37 00:03:11,926 --> 00:03:14,893 I gotta four-day gig at mbst&t starting today. 38 00:03:14,895 --> 00:03:17,696 - No way! - They just moved me to mbst&t. 39 00:03:17,698 --> 00:03:19,865 I was totally planning on having a lame day, 40 00:03:19,867 --> 00:03:21,500 and they've gone and messed that up. 41 00:03:21,502 --> 00:03:23,035 Did you already put in your money? 42 00:03:23,037 --> 00:03:25,204 - I put it in the ledger, but I didn't red-light it. 43 00:03:30,377 --> 00:03:33,345 - What have we got, like, 75 days left? 44 00:03:33,347 --> 00:03:36,582 - 84 if we want to make it there by Thanksgiving. 45 00:03:36,584 --> 00:03:38,083 - It's a small price to pay for another 46 00:03:38,085 --> 00:03:41,587 epic Jefferson and Carter ski adventure! 47 00:03:41,589 --> 00:03:44,756 Whoosh! Whoosh! 48 00:03:44,758 --> 00:03:48,026 We feeling the pink today? 49 00:03:48,028 --> 00:03:49,528 - Yeah, let's give it a try. 50 00:03:54,535 --> 00:03:56,702 - Yeah. - Yeah, I think that works. 51 00:05:15,683 --> 00:05:17,516 - Oh, yeah. - Shake that moneymaker. 52 00:05:17,518 --> 00:05:18,817 All right, guys, 53 00:05:18,819 --> 00:05:20,619 I need you to go through these boxes here, 54 00:05:20,621 --> 00:05:22,721 make sure we shred anything older than seven years. 55 00:05:22,723 --> 00:05:24,556 Dates are on the top of these folders. 56 00:05:24,558 --> 00:05:25,991 Any questions? 57 00:05:25,993 --> 00:05:28,026 - That suit, Ann Taylor? 58 00:05:28,028 --> 00:05:30,195 - Um... It is. 59 00:05:30,197 --> 00:05:31,663 - You really wear it. 60 00:05:31,665 --> 00:05:33,031 - Thank you, Jefferson. 61 00:05:34,868 --> 00:05:36,068 - Mrs. hwang? 62 00:05:36,070 --> 00:05:37,369 - Yes. - Stephanie. 63 00:05:37,371 --> 00:05:39,071 Cal staff sent me over. 64 00:05:39,073 --> 00:05:42,808 - Okay, why don't you come with me. 65 00:05:43,743 --> 00:05:45,010 - Ann Taylor? 66 00:05:45,012 --> 00:05:46,078 - I'm telling you, man, 67 00:05:46,080 --> 00:05:48,847 these things are a gold mine. 68 00:05:48,849 --> 00:05:50,549 - Ann Taylor? 69 00:05:50,551 --> 00:05:51,683 - Ross. 70 00:05:51,685 --> 00:05:53,985 - You really wear it. 71 00:05:55,154 --> 00:05:56,855 - We have 2,500 of these 72 00:05:56,857 --> 00:05:58,890 that need to be stuffed and metered by lunch. 73 00:05:58,892 --> 00:06:00,392 As soon as the other temps are finished shredding, 74 00:06:00,394 --> 00:06:02,160 they can jump in and help you out. 75 00:06:02,162 --> 00:06:04,229 - Okay. 76 00:06:04,231 --> 00:06:06,832 - I know, not much time. - I'll do my best. 77 00:06:06,834 --> 00:06:08,367 - I'd prefer you just get it done. 78 00:06:08,369 --> 00:06:11,203 - Okay, I'll do that. 79 00:06:11,205 --> 00:06:13,438 - Are you talking back to me? 80 00:06:13,440 --> 00:06:14,506 - No? 81 00:06:14,508 --> 00:06:16,575 - There's a reason 82 00:06:16,577 --> 00:06:19,044 you're a temp worker, you know that, right? 83 00:06:19,046 --> 00:06:20,946 - Because I got laid off? 84 00:06:20,948 --> 00:06:23,482 - I'm gonna let you in on a little secret. 85 00:06:25,518 --> 00:06:28,019 They don't lay off the good workers. 86 00:06:29,188 --> 00:06:30,922 - All right, I'm gonna go stuff these. 87 00:06:30,924 --> 00:06:32,090 - Please do that. - I'm going. 88 00:06:32,092 --> 00:06:33,225 - Go. - Okay. 89 00:06:33,227 --> 00:06:34,226 - Hurry! - I am. 90 00:06:34,228 --> 00:06:37,629 - Let's go. 91 00:06:37,631 --> 00:06:40,599 Temps. 92 00:06:40,601 --> 00:06:43,268 - Don't take it personally. - Hwang hates girls. 93 00:06:43,270 --> 00:06:45,203 - All right, are we doing this? - And go! 94 00:06:45,205 --> 00:06:46,571 - No, no, no. - Corner back, corner back! 95 00:06:46,573 --> 00:06:48,874 Oh! Damn it. 96 00:06:48,876 --> 00:06:50,275 - Winner! 97 00:06:50,277 --> 00:06:53,545 - I demand a re-do. 98 00:06:53,547 --> 00:06:55,580 - Is this what you guys normally do around here? 99 00:06:55,582 --> 00:06:57,716 - Uh... 100 00:06:57,718 --> 00:06:59,951 Sometimes we raid the office supply closet 101 00:06:59,953 --> 00:07:02,387 and see if we can make a fort out of anything. 102 00:07:02,389 --> 00:07:03,822 That gets real challenging. 103 00:07:03,824 --> 00:07:05,457 - You enjoy being a temp? 104 00:07:05,459 --> 00:07:07,959 - Temping is just a means to an end, really. 105 00:07:07,961 --> 00:07:09,327 We're actually skiers. 106 00:07:09,329 --> 00:07:11,663 - Like professional skiers? 107 00:07:11,665 --> 00:07:14,499 - Yeah, kind of. - Except we don't get paid. 108 00:07:14,501 --> 00:07:16,301 We're going to mount hood this year. 109 00:07:16,303 --> 00:07:18,804 It's a straga volcano or strata volcano. 110 00:07:18,806 --> 00:07:20,005 - Strata volcano. - Yeah. 111 00:07:20,007 --> 00:07:21,573 - Strata volcano. 112 00:07:21,575 --> 00:07:25,444 - So skiing and temping. - Any other life plans? 113 00:07:25,446 --> 00:07:29,314 - I take it you're one of those live to work people. 114 00:07:29,316 --> 00:07:32,617 - I appreciate the value of a life's work, yes. 115 00:07:32,619 --> 00:07:34,786 - What's yours, then? 116 00:07:34,788 --> 00:07:39,858 - Oh, well, I... - Went to school for accounting. 117 00:07:39,860 --> 00:07:41,293 - That sounds thrilling. 118 00:07:41,295 --> 00:07:43,995 - Well, what's your life's work, skiing? 119 00:07:43,997 --> 00:07:45,964 - It's actually not just about skiing, 120 00:07:45,966 --> 00:07:49,267 it's about, uh, seeing as many incredible places 121 00:07:49,269 --> 00:07:51,470 and meeting as many incredible people 122 00:07:51,472 --> 00:07:53,672 and gathering as many meaningful experiences 123 00:07:53,674 --> 00:07:55,540 before shuffling off this mortal coil. 124 00:07:55,542 --> 00:07:57,042 You know, things you can't really do 125 00:07:57,044 --> 00:07:59,878 from a cubicle or a corner office. 126 00:07:59,880 --> 00:08:02,614 Ever been skiing? 127 00:08:02,616 --> 00:08:04,182 - I was more of a field hockey girl. 128 00:08:04,184 --> 00:08:05,884 - Me, too. 129 00:08:05,886 --> 00:08:08,453 - I have a boyfriend. - Was that for me or for her? 130 00:08:08,455 --> 00:08:10,689 - You. - Oh. 131 00:08:10,691 --> 00:08:13,859 Okay. Congrats? 132 00:08:13,861 --> 00:08:16,228 - Sorry, I was just trying to shut this down. 133 00:08:16,230 --> 00:08:17,529 - Shut what down? 134 00:08:17,531 --> 00:08:18,830 - This little banter we have going on. 135 00:08:18,832 --> 00:08:20,365 - Why? 136 00:08:20,367 --> 00:08:22,634 - Banter usually implies ulterior motives. 137 00:08:22,636 --> 00:08:24,536 - I'm not hitting on you. 138 00:08:24,538 --> 00:08:26,371 - Good. 139 00:08:26,373 --> 00:08:27,506 - Would you like me to? 140 00:08:27,508 --> 00:08:29,541 - No. 141 00:08:29,543 --> 00:08:32,644 - Seems like maybe you would like him to hit on you. 142 00:08:32,646 --> 00:08:35,146 Call 'em like I see 'em. 143 00:08:38,718 --> 00:08:40,018 - I'm Jefferson. 144 00:08:40,020 --> 00:08:41,353 - Stephanie. 145 00:08:49,428 --> 00:08:50,996 - So what's your man list? 146 00:08:50,998 --> 00:08:53,732 - My man, oh, what are you talking about? 147 00:08:53,734 --> 00:08:55,567 - You know, list of qualities 148 00:08:55,569 --> 00:08:57,068 a guy has to posses in order for you 149 00:08:57,070 --> 00:08:59,905 to open up your secret sexual side. 150 00:08:59,907 --> 00:09:01,773 - I don't think I have one. 151 00:09:01,775 --> 00:09:04,576 But if I'm trying to waste time and not do work, 152 00:09:04,578 --> 00:09:08,580 I'd say um... He's gotta be nice, but not too nice. 153 00:09:08,582 --> 00:09:10,181 - Okay. 154 00:09:10,183 --> 00:09:14,419 - Uh, and he's gotta like kittens, puppies, and kids. 155 00:09:14,421 --> 00:09:17,422 - This is not quite as secret or sexual as I was hoping for. 156 00:09:17,424 --> 00:09:18,690 - We're at work. 157 00:09:18,692 --> 00:09:20,225 - Hey, I'm sorry, can I talk to Stephanie? 158 00:09:20,227 --> 00:09:22,027 She's the cute girl i was just making out with 159 00:09:22,029 --> 00:09:23,461 - in the broom closet. - Shh! 160 00:09:23,463 --> 00:09:24,930 - Shh! - Shh! 161 00:09:24,932 --> 00:09:26,231 - Shh, shh! - Shh! 162 00:09:26,233 --> 00:09:27,866 - I have to say as a casual observer 163 00:09:27,868 --> 00:09:30,268 of the female species, you're all highly contradictory. 164 00:09:30,270 --> 00:09:32,904 Because as far as I can tell, most girls not only have 165 00:09:32,906 --> 00:09:36,775 but, in fact, enjoy many forms of loud, raunchy, kinky sex. 166 00:09:36,777 --> 00:09:38,109 - Gross. 167 00:09:38,111 --> 00:09:40,478 - See and yet none of you will ever admit 168 00:09:40,480 --> 00:09:43,615 that you like, want, or have these various kinds of sex. 169 00:09:43,617 --> 00:09:45,116 What is that? 170 00:09:45,118 --> 00:09:46,651 Is that some kind of agreement that you all have 171 00:09:46,653 --> 00:09:47,752 where if you don't talk about it, 172 00:09:47,754 --> 00:09:49,054 it doesn't actually happen? 173 00:09:49,056 --> 00:09:50,388 Like, if a random girl and a random guy 174 00:09:50,390 --> 00:09:51,823 have sex in a random forest, 175 00:09:51,825 --> 00:09:52,958 yet no one is there to randomly see it, 176 00:09:52,960 --> 00:09:55,460 can you still call her a slut? 177 00:09:55,462 --> 00:09:59,664 Not that I would ever call anyone a slut. 178 00:09:59,666 --> 00:10:01,333 Unless you want to be called a slut. 179 00:10:01,335 --> 00:10:03,635 Even then, I think I would have my hang-ups with it. 180 00:10:03,637 --> 00:10:06,004 Hello? You want to get some lunch? 181 00:10:06,006 --> 00:10:08,907 - What are we gonna talk about? 182 00:10:08,909 --> 00:10:11,076 - The weather. 183 00:10:12,511 --> 00:10:15,880 - I like to be tied up. 184 00:10:18,851 --> 00:10:21,519 - Or we can talk about that. 185 00:10:22,955 --> 00:10:26,091 - But we can't. - I'm a girl. 186 00:10:27,493 --> 00:10:30,195 So you ready for lunch? 187 00:10:32,198 --> 00:10:33,598 - Yes. 188 00:10:47,881 --> 00:10:49,781 - Oh, my gosh! 189 00:10:49,783 --> 00:10:51,850 Josh and I would never come into a store like this. 190 00:10:51,852 --> 00:10:56,054 - Well, maybe that is why you broke up with him. 191 00:10:56,056 --> 00:10:57,622 - I like it. - Mm-hmm. 192 00:12:11,097 --> 00:12:13,898 - Um... 193 00:12:13,900 --> 00:12:16,601 I don't really do that. 194 00:12:16,603 --> 00:12:18,103 - The... - Yeah. 195 00:12:18,105 --> 00:12:20,905 - Oh. Oh, sure. 196 00:12:20,907 --> 00:12:22,540 - Good. - It's just I... 197 00:12:22,542 --> 00:12:23,775 I have lockjaw. 198 00:12:23,777 --> 00:12:25,276 - Ooh! - Yeah. 199 00:12:25,278 --> 00:12:27,145 - That doesn't sound fun. - Not at all. 200 00:12:27,147 --> 00:12:29,981 - Well, I should have asked. - That was... sorry about that. 201 00:12:29,983 --> 00:12:31,483 - Okay. - Um... 202 00:12:36,555 --> 00:12:39,090 - Oh! That is really gross. 203 00:12:39,092 --> 00:12:40,792 People poop in there. 204 00:12:40,794 --> 00:12:42,694 I poop in there. 205 00:12:53,472 --> 00:12:55,006 Oh! 206 00:12:55,008 --> 00:12:56,541 Ah! 207 00:13:07,453 --> 00:13:09,287 You know we have friends waiting, right? 208 00:13:09,289 --> 00:13:10,955 - No, I'm sure they're fine. - Oh! 209 00:13:10,957 --> 00:13:15,260 - Jefferson and I hit the mountains every single year. 210 00:13:15,262 --> 00:13:18,596 We're going to mount hood next year... near Portland. 211 00:13:18,598 --> 00:13:22,300 You know that's a strata volcano. 212 00:13:22,302 --> 00:13:23,868 - Oh? 213 00:13:23,870 --> 00:13:25,603 - Okay, stop, stop. 214 00:13:25,605 --> 00:13:27,472 You're starting to act like that vibrator we got. 215 00:13:27,474 --> 00:13:30,642 - Exactly what does that mean? 216 00:13:30,644 --> 00:13:33,211 - It means you know how it only has the one speed? 217 00:13:33,213 --> 00:13:36,114 Mee! Mee! Mee! You know? 218 00:13:36,116 --> 00:13:37,782 - Mee! 219 00:13:40,653 --> 00:13:46,124 - Is that Annie Taylor that you got on? 220 00:13:50,062 --> 00:13:53,665 - Would you like me to be a little bit more variable? 221 00:13:53,667 --> 00:13:56,301 Maybe... A little bit more, "rah!" 222 00:13:56,303 --> 00:13:59,337 Or, "errr!" Or, "dugga-dugga-dugga-dugga." 223 00:13:59,339 --> 00:14:01,005 - Yeah. 224 00:14:01,007 --> 00:14:02,640 - Hey, got you a drink. 225 00:14:02,642 --> 00:14:04,209 Hope you don't mind germs, 226 00:14:04,211 --> 00:14:06,277 'cause I took a little sip there. 227 00:14:10,717 --> 00:14:11,883 - Oh! - Shh! 228 00:14:11,885 --> 00:14:14,352 - Ugh! That is really gross. 229 00:14:14,354 --> 00:14:16,254 People work here. 230 00:14:16,256 --> 00:14:18,389 I work here. 231 00:14:20,192 --> 00:14:22,694 - Can I ask your honest opinion. 232 00:14:22,696 --> 00:14:24,195 What do you think of this jacket? 233 00:14:24,197 --> 00:14:28,099 - No, you may not, and I love it! 234 00:14:28,101 --> 00:14:30,602 - Did we miss anything? 235 00:14:30,604 --> 00:14:35,240 - No, I was just telling Curtis how awesome his jacket is. 236 00:14:35,242 --> 00:14:38,042 - It's kind of getting warm in here. 237 00:14:38,044 --> 00:14:42,013 - I'm so confused. - Are you in a relationship? 238 00:14:42,015 --> 00:14:43,948 - We're just trying to keep it in the moment. 239 00:14:43,950 --> 00:14:46,384 - I don't know what that means. - I don't, either. 240 00:14:46,386 --> 00:14:49,254 Jefferson says it a lot, seemed kind of romantic 241 00:14:49,256 --> 00:14:51,456 as I was getting out of that Josh situation. 242 00:14:51,458 --> 00:14:52,757 - You were getting out of a something 243 00:14:52,759 --> 00:14:55,360 that started in junior high situation. 244 00:14:55,362 --> 00:14:58,863 So a toe fungus would have seemed romantic. 245 00:15:02,802 --> 00:15:05,403 - Oh, well... - I like being in something 246 00:15:05,405 --> 00:15:07,472 that's maybe not so defined. 247 00:15:07,474 --> 00:15:11,309 - Okay, but if a... 248 00:15:11,311 --> 00:15:14,646 Relationship isn't defined as a relationship, 249 00:15:14,648 --> 00:15:16,147 then is it really a relationship, 250 00:15:16,149 --> 00:15:17,815 because it seems like half 251 00:15:17,817 --> 00:15:19,984 of what makes a relationship a relationship 252 00:15:19,986 --> 00:15:23,121 is being able to call it a relationship. 253 00:15:23,123 --> 00:15:24,322 - Am I right? - Whatever. 254 00:15:24,324 --> 00:15:26,591 You know, whatever. I'm happy. 255 00:15:26,593 --> 00:15:30,828 And the sex is fucking animal style. 256 00:15:30,830 --> 00:15:32,297 - I don't know. 257 00:15:32,299 --> 00:15:35,066 You always struck me as the person 258 00:15:35,068 --> 00:15:37,435 who needed an update on her Facebook status 259 00:15:37,437 --> 00:15:39,437 in order to go fucking animal style. 260 00:15:39,439 --> 00:15:41,606 - That was the old Steph. 261 00:15:41,608 --> 00:15:43,341 - I want ice cream. 262 00:15:43,343 --> 00:15:45,910 Do you want ice cream? 263 00:15:49,949 --> 00:15:51,816 - I want ice cream. - Yeah. 264 00:16:22,181 --> 00:16:24,549 - Guess who sent me a relationship request. 265 00:16:24,551 --> 00:16:27,051 - Oh, things are getting serious. 266 00:16:27,053 --> 00:16:28,486 What are you gonna do? 267 00:16:28,488 --> 00:16:30,521 - I don't know. - I'm gonna... 268 00:16:30,523 --> 00:16:32,156 Ignore her for now and then just hope 269 00:16:32,158 --> 00:16:33,658 that she forgets she sent it. 270 00:16:33,660 --> 00:16:35,293 - Yeah, that's cool. 271 00:16:35,295 --> 00:16:37,795 I have an uncle who sends me candy crush requests, 272 00:16:37,797 --> 00:16:39,697 and I just ignore them. 273 00:16:39,699 --> 00:16:43,901 I'm never gonna play that game, okay? 274 00:16:43,903 --> 00:16:46,571 - Oops. - Dropped some shit there. 275 00:16:46,573 --> 00:16:49,707 - Thanks. 276 00:16:50,542 --> 00:16:51,909 Don't worry about it. 277 00:16:51,911 --> 00:16:54,679 - Oh! Mmm! 278 00:16:54,681 --> 00:16:58,583 - In order, nape of the neck, eyes, and teeth. 279 00:16:58,585 --> 00:17:01,052 - Nape of the neck? - Dude, you're a liar. 280 00:17:01,054 --> 00:17:02,353 - I am not a liar. 281 00:17:02,355 --> 00:17:03,855 - That's the kind of list a guy makes 282 00:17:03,857 --> 00:17:04,989 when he's embarrassed to say the first thing 283 00:17:04,991 --> 00:17:06,090 he looks for are tits. 284 00:17:06,092 --> 00:17:07,191 - Tits? 285 00:17:07,193 --> 00:17:08,593 - Yes, every guy looks for tits. 286 00:17:08,595 --> 00:17:10,161 - No, you... - you can't help seeing them, 287 00:17:10,163 --> 00:17:11,662 they're right in front of you. 288 00:17:11,664 --> 00:17:15,199 What I look for is a nice nape of the neck. 289 00:17:15,201 --> 00:17:16,934 - I guess you have a point. 290 00:17:16,936 --> 00:17:19,437 - Well, what's the first thing that you look for? 291 00:17:19,439 --> 00:17:21,406 - Tits. 292 00:17:22,341 --> 00:17:24,976 - Hey, guys. 293 00:17:28,914 --> 00:17:30,448 - Oh! 294 00:17:30,450 --> 00:17:32,450 - Nice nape. 295 00:17:35,587 --> 00:17:37,922 - Who do you think was the genius who first took a popsicle stick, 296 00:17:37,924 --> 00:17:40,258 jammed it in a hot dog, and then dipped it in a fryer? 297 00:17:40,260 --> 00:17:43,628 - I notice you haven't accepted my relationship status change. 298 00:17:46,465 --> 00:17:48,266 - What? 299 00:17:48,268 --> 00:17:50,568 - Yeah, I sent it to you, like, two or three weeks ago. 300 00:17:50,570 --> 00:17:53,071 It's not that big a deal, i just figured 301 00:17:53,073 --> 00:17:56,474 maybe it's time our status reflected our relationship. 302 00:17:56,476 --> 00:17:57,809 I did notice that you had time 303 00:17:57,811 --> 00:18:01,312 to post those hilarious workplace memes. 304 00:18:01,314 --> 00:18:03,481 Classic. 305 00:18:03,483 --> 00:18:05,283 - Well... 306 00:18:05,285 --> 00:18:07,452 Remember how, um... 307 00:18:07,454 --> 00:18:10,321 Refreshing we thought this thing is that we have? 308 00:18:10,323 --> 00:18:13,624 - What is this thing that we have? 309 00:18:13,626 --> 00:18:15,793 - This? - This. 310 00:18:15,795 --> 00:18:18,729 Us, you and me... this. 311 00:18:18,731 --> 00:18:20,698 What is it? 312 00:18:22,568 --> 00:18:24,302 - Complicated. 313 00:18:24,304 --> 00:18:27,572 - Then how about it's complicated as a status? 314 00:18:27,574 --> 00:18:30,475 Just some indication that we're together. 315 00:18:30,477 --> 00:18:32,910 - Steph, it's only been, like, a month. 316 00:18:34,346 --> 00:18:37,081 - It's been almost three. 317 00:18:37,083 --> 00:18:38,583 - Really? 318 00:18:38,585 --> 00:18:39,917 - Do you really think I'd be doing the things 319 00:18:39,919 --> 00:18:42,587 we've been doing with some random guy? 320 00:18:44,324 --> 00:18:47,158 - We haven't even been on a real date yet. 321 00:18:47,160 --> 00:18:48,793 - Date?! 322 00:18:48,795 --> 00:18:50,461 You don't even buy me drinks. 323 00:18:50,463 --> 00:18:52,864 - Yeah, 'cause that would make it a real date. 324 00:18:52,866 --> 00:18:56,367 - Oh. Wow. 325 00:18:56,369 --> 00:18:57,935 I... 326 00:18:57,937 --> 00:19:00,471 are you embarrassed by me or something? 327 00:19:00,473 --> 00:19:01,706 - No! 328 00:19:01,708 --> 00:19:03,774 No, Steph, you are... 329 00:19:03,776 --> 00:19:06,711 Way one of the coolest, sexiest, funniest chicks 330 00:19:06,713 --> 00:19:08,346 in the world, probably. 331 00:19:08,348 --> 00:19:09,614 - Then what the fuck?! 332 00:19:09,616 --> 00:19:11,482 - The fuck is... 333 00:19:11,484 --> 00:19:13,317 I don't know, why can't people just be happy 334 00:19:13,319 --> 00:19:14,886 with the way things are? 335 00:19:14,888 --> 00:19:16,787 You know, why can't people just live in the now? 336 00:19:16,789 --> 00:19:18,389 Why does everybody have to label and compartmentalize 337 00:19:18,391 --> 00:19:21,058 - everything in their lives? - Because, Jefferson, 338 00:19:21,060 --> 00:19:22,460 that's how we make an informed decision 339 00:19:22,462 --> 00:19:23,828 on what we keep and what we throw out. 340 00:19:23,830 --> 00:19:25,630 - Like Josh? 341 00:19:27,065 --> 00:19:30,868 - Yes. Exactly like Josh. 342 00:19:30,870 --> 00:19:33,037 And whoever first decided to jam a popsicle stick 343 00:19:33,039 --> 00:19:34,739 into a hot dog was an asshole! 344 00:19:34,741 --> 00:19:36,974 This is disgusting! 345 00:19:39,012 --> 00:19:41,245 - Stephanie! 346 00:19:41,247 --> 00:19:43,181 Steph! 347 00:19:43,183 --> 00:19:46,484 Estephania! 348 00:19:46,486 --> 00:19:48,886 Hey, that's my corn dog! 349 00:19:48,888 --> 00:19:51,355 That's my corn dog! 350 00:19:51,357 --> 00:19:52,523 You know what, i don't want to be tagged 351 00:19:52,525 --> 00:19:53,824 in anyone's photos, either. 352 00:19:53,826 --> 00:19:55,026 It's a creepy invasion of privacy. 353 00:19:55,028 --> 00:19:56,494 - I agree. - This sucks, man. 354 00:19:56,496 --> 00:19:58,829 It's like I get punished for knowing what I want. 355 00:19:58,831 --> 00:20:01,098 - What do you want? 356 00:20:02,768 --> 00:20:04,402 Holy crap! 357 00:20:04,404 --> 00:20:07,672 That's Allison segal from high school. 358 00:20:12,744 --> 00:20:14,579 - Look at that, it's Allison segal. 359 00:20:14,581 --> 00:20:16,714 - I want out with her once... - junior year. 360 00:20:16,716 --> 00:20:18,082 - You did not go out with Allison segal. 361 00:20:18,084 --> 00:20:19,584 You never went out with anybody. 362 00:20:19,586 --> 00:20:21,285 And Todd Parker went out with Allison segal. 363 00:20:21,287 --> 00:20:22,753 - No, that was me. 364 00:20:22,755 --> 00:20:24,422 - Well, Todd Parker went out with her, too. 365 00:20:24,424 --> 00:20:25,923 Then again, he crushed, like, every girl in high school. 366 00:20:25,925 --> 00:20:27,525 I wonder what he's up to? 367 00:20:27,527 --> 00:20:29,460 - He's probably in jail. 368 00:20:29,462 --> 00:20:32,096 - Or witness protection. - We should call him. 369 00:20:32,098 --> 00:20:33,731 Will and Nicholas, too. Those were good guys. 370 00:20:33,733 --> 00:20:35,600 - She didn't recognize us. 371 00:20:35,602 --> 00:20:37,268 - Or she did. 372 00:20:37,270 --> 00:20:40,538 - She looks exactly the same, only more professional, 373 00:20:40,540 --> 00:20:44,475 like a businesswoman, not a prostitute. 374 00:20:45,410 --> 00:20:47,044 I wonder if she's single. 375 00:20:47,046 --> 00:20:48,813 - No matter what I do, I'm gonna befoul this thing 376 00:20:48,815 --> 00:20:50,414 with Stephanie. 377 00:20:50,416 --> 00:20:52,817 - Yeah. 378 00:20:52,819 --> 00:20:54,252 - What? 379 00:20:54,254 --> 00:20:57,455 - She's probably single. 380 00:20:57,457 --> 00:20:59,156 - Oh. 381 00:20:59,158 --> 00:21:00,958 Yeah. 382 00:21:28,487 --> 00:21:32,056 Where you at today? 383 00:21:46,204 --> 00:21:49,573 - Hell. 384 00:21:55,213 --> 00:21:56,947 - Me, too. 385 00:21:56,949 --> 00:22:00,851 I'm back working with the hwang again. 386 00:22:05,290 --> 00:22:08,359 - Oh. My favorite. 387 00:22:08,361 --> 00:22:11,696 Say hi for me. 388 00:22:13,499 --> 00:22:14,965 - I thought about it, 389 00:22:14,967 --> 00:22:17,568 and maybe we can go out on a real date, 390 00:22:17,570 --> 00:22:20,705 just so you can see how much I suck at dating 391 00:22:20,707 --> 00:22:24,075 and why I shouldn't do it. 392 00:22:27,045 --> 00:22:31,515 - Are you asking me out on a date? 393 00:22:31,517 --> 00:22:38,589 - For strictly scienti... - scientific purposes only. 394 00:22:47,866 --> 00:22:54,739 - I'd love to be experimented on. 395 00:23:08,554 --> 00:23:11,355 - Are you bored? 396 00:23:11,357 --> 00:23:13,524 - What? No, no. 397 00:23:13,526 --> 00:23:15,960 - Oh, great. I'm boring you. - I'm boring. 398 00:23:15,962 --> 00:23:18,429 - Stop it, you're not boring. - I actually know that I am. 399 00:23:18,431 --> 00:23:19,764 It's okay, just go ahead and say it, 400 00:23:19,766 --> 00:23:22,566 come out and tell me. 401 00:23:22,568 --> 00:23:24,435 - What you're sensing right now is not boredom, 402 00:23:24,437 --> 00:23:25,870 it's just like when I get hungry, 403 00:23:25,872 --> 00:23:27,872 I just get, you know, one-track minded 404 00:23:27,874 --> 00:23:29,540 and, you know, i just get tunnel vision. 405 00:23:29,542 --> 00:23:31,108 It's like boom... food. 406 00:23:31,110 --> 00:23:32,443 Just... 407 00:23:32,445 --> 00:23:34,078 - Boom, food. 408 00:23:34,080 --> 00:23:35,946 - Tunnel vision. 409 00:23:37,816 --> 00:23:40,217 - Right. 410 00:23:54,633 --> 00:23:56,667 - Your hair looks really nice. 411 00:23:56,669 --> 00:23:58,769 Did you do something different? 412 00:23:58,771 --> 00:24:00,771 - Kind of. 413 00:24:00,773 --> 00:24:03,240 Thanks for noticing. 414 00:24:03,242 --> 00:24:06,277 - It looks really nice. 415 00:24:06,279 --> 00:24:09,246 - I'm glad you like it. 416 00:24:09,248 --> 00:24:11,682 - Oh. 417 00:24:22,461 --> 00:24:23,861 Dave Matthews? 418 00:24:23,863 --> 00:24:25,429 - No, way worse than that. 419 00:24:25,431 --> 00:24:26,997 - Jack Johnson, 'cause he's about as bad 420 00:24:26,999 --> 00:24:30,134 - as anybody I can think of. - Why do you want to know? 421 00:24:30,136 --> 00:24:32,269 - Because I think you can tell a lot about somebody 422 00:24:32,271 --> 00:24:34,205 from their most embarrassing music purchase. 423 00:24:34,207 --> 00:24:36,106 Dashboard confessional. 424 00:24:36,108 --> 00:24:37,975 - I like dashboard confessional. 425 00:24:37,977 --> 00:24:39,610 - Oh, god! - I like them! 426 00:24:40,646 --> 00:24:41,879 - I like dashboard. 427 00:24:41,881 --> 00:24:43,447 - Oh, man, that... 428 00:24:43,449 --> 00:24:45,282 you really do have questionable taste in music. 429 00:24:45,284 --> 00:24:47,885 Really questionable. Jason mraz. 430 00:24:47,887 --> 00:24:49,854 - Not gonna tell you. - Come on, I told you mine. 431 00:24:49,856 --> 00:24:53,357 - Oh, you told me you downloaded a bright eyes album one time. 432 00:24:53,359 --> 00:24:55,025 - How embarrassing is that? - Super embarrassing. 433 00:24:55,027 --> 00:24:59,230 - I own all of his albums plus an ep. 434 00:24:59,232 --> 00:25:00,998 - How can you say he won?! 435 00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:02,666 Look, he's... he's sulking back into the ocean, 436 00:25:02,668 --> 00:25:04,001 a defeated beast. 437 00:25:04,003 --> 00:25:06,904 - She's returning home. 438 00:25:06,906 --> 00:25:08,739 - Godzilla's not a woman! 439 00:25:08,741 --> 00:25:13,878 - Um, she had a kid in "Godzilla's revenge," hello! 440 00:25:13,880 --> 00:25:15,479 - We're gonna have to have a serious talk, 441 00:25:15,481 --> 00:25:17,548 because that doesn't qualify as a movie. 442 00:25:17,550 --> 00:25:19,717 - Okay, regardless of how you feel about it, 443 00:25:19,719 --> 00:25:21,418 she would still be the winner. 444 00:25:21,420 --> 00:25:23,254 - Okay. 445 00:25:23,256 --> 00:25:25,556 Seriously, I just want you to think about this, okay? 446 00:25:25,558 --> 00:25:27,424 Who would win in a fight... 447 00:25:27,426 --> 00:25:31,228 a giant, pre-historic dinosaur with clear back problems 448 00:25:31,230 --> 00:25:34,999 or Kong, the eighth wonder of the world? 449 00:25:35,001 --> 00:25:37,234 - Radioactive mutant lizard, no question. 450 00:25:37,236 --> 00:25:39,603 - Ugh, you! - You're a lost cause. 451 00:25:39,605 --> 00:25:40,871 You're beautiful, 452 00:25:40,873 --> 00:25:42,373 but god damn it, you're a lost cause. 453 00:26:04,095 --> 00:26:06,730 I had a really good time tonight. 454 00:26:06,732 --> 00:26:09,433 - Yeah, me, too. 455 00:26:13,438 --> 00:26:14,805 I better go, though. 456 00:26:14,807 --> 00:26:17,875 - That would probably be best. 457 00:26:17,877 --> 00:26:20,945 - Yeah. Yeah. 458 00:26:20,947 --> 00:26:24,715 Otherwise, it's like there's this giant elephant in the room 459 00:26:24,717 --> 00:26:28,118 that I want to... 460 00:26:31,323 --> 00:26:33,157 fuck. 461 00:26:39,464 --> 00:26:42,132 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Go turn off the TV. 462 00:27:53,739 --> 00:27:56,006 That was like... 463 00:27:56,008 --> 00:28:00,878 Some of the most normal sex we've ever had. 464 00:28:00,880 --> 00:28:03,547 - Is that a bad thing? 465 00:28:03,549 --> 00:28:06,917 - No. 466 00:28:13,425 --> 00:28:14,858 Creed. 467 00:28:14,860 --> 00:28:16,493 - You brought creed. 468 00:28:16,495 --> 00:28:18,429 Wow. That is... 469 00:28:18,431 --> 00:28:20,497 So much worse than I could have thought. 470 00:28:20,499 --> 00:28:23,734 - I know! I know. 471 00:28:35,014 --> 00:28:37,614 You crack me up. 472 00:28:40,919 --> 00:28:43,353 - So this is how it's gonna be, huh? 473 00:28:43,355 --> 00:28:44,922 Every morning when I wake up, 474 00:28:44,924 --> 00:28:47,224 you're gonna be here taking away my opportunities 475 00:28:47,226 --> 00:28:49,126 to walk around naked. 476 00:28:49,128 --> 00:28:50,894 It's 4:00 in the afternoon. 477 00:28:50,896 --> 00:28:53,964 - I'm a night owl. - Hoot! Hoot! 478 00:28:53,966 --> 00:28:56,600 - Well, if you want to walk around naked, be my guest. 479 00:28:56,602 --> 00:28:59,036 - I'm gonna hold you to that. - Where's Jefferson? 480 00:28:59,038 --> 00:29:00,437 - Out getting wine and cheese. 481 00:29:00,439 --> 00:29:01,772 We're going to see a movie tonight 482 00:29:01,774 --> 00:29:03,607 at the Hollywood cemetery. 483 00:29:03,609 --> 00:29:07,611 - Ah, you're running the bases backwards. 484 00:29:07,613 --> 00:29:09,279 - Running the bases backwards? 485 00:29:09,281 --> 00:29:10,748 - Means you start with sex 486 00:29:10,750 --> 00:29:13,250 and then you do all that couply stuff. 487 00:29:13,252 --> 00:29:15,119 - Yeah, I guess. 488 00:29:15,121 --> 00:29:17,454 - Now, the pancakes with orange zest. 489 00:29:17,456 --> 00:29:19,790 - Curtis? 490 00:29:19,792 --> 00:29:21,725 - Dude! 491 00:29:21,727 --> 00:29:23,560 - Oh, my god, is that a real newspaper? 492 00:29:23,562 --> 00:29:26,730 - She's dead. 493 00:29:26,732 --> 00:29:28,966 - Allison segal? How? 494 00:29:28,968 --> 00:29:30,434 - Her heart exploded. 495 00:29:30,436 --> 00:29:33,737 - Gross! 496 00:29:38,243 --> 00:29:43,747 Should we say a prayer or... Something? 497 00:29:43,749 --> 00:29:45,682 - I'm gonna be honest, i feel little weird 498 00:29:45,684 --> 00:29:48,685 saying a prayer over a pair of used panties. 499 00:29:48,687 --> 00:29:50,320 - What? 500 00:29:50,322 --> 00:29:54,024 I have a pair from every girl I've been with. 501 00:29:54,026 --> 00:29:56,693 - Yeah, that's a little... - That's just creepy. 502 00:29:56,695 --> 00:29:58,328 Okay, Steph, back me up on this. This is a little... 503 00:29:58,330 --> 00:30:00,164 - oh, actually, i can't say anything. I... 504 00:30:00,166 --> 00:30:03,667 I do have a pair from all the girls I've been with. 505 00:30:03,669 --> 00:30:06,837 - If only we had stopped her to say hi. 506 00:30:06,839 --> 00:30:11,275 She could have been the one to find a cure to cancer. 507 00:30:11,277 --> 00:30:12,676 - Was she that smart? 508 00:30:12,678 --> 00:30:15,512 - Or... Stumbled upon it. 509 00:30:15,514 --> 00:30:17,614 - I never knew Allison very well, 510 00:30:17,616 --> 00:30:19,449 but in high school, 511 00:30:19,451 --> 00:30:21,885 I was always a big fan of her perky boobs... 512 00:30:21,887 --> 00:30:23,554 - don't say that, you piece of shit! 513 00:30:23,556 --> 00:30:25,155 - Oh, Curtis, cool out! 514 00:30:25,157 --> 00:30:27,024 Cool out, man. 515 00:30:27,026 --> 00:30:30,661 - Jesus, Curtis, calm down. 516 00:30:30,663 --> 00:30:32,229 Not a... 517 00:30:32,231 --> 00:30:35,032 I'm sorry, I never knew you felt that strongly about her. 518 00:30:35,034 --> 00:30:38,535 - She was my first. 519 00:30:38,537 --> 00:30:42,239 - I thought Janet moler was your first. 520 00:30:45,711 --> 00:30:47,611 Orally. 521 00:30:52,684 --> 00:30:54,418 - Sometimes I don't get Curtis at all. 522 00:30:54,420 --> 00:30:56,353 - Haven't you ever been madly in love? 523 00:30:56,355 --> 00:30:57,688 - Please, he was not madly in love. 524 00:30:57,690 --> 00:30:59,156 I didn't even know they were going out. 525 00:30:59,158 --> 00:31:00,991 - And what about you? 526 00:31:00,993 --> 00:31:03,026 - I thought I was, once. 527 00:31:03,028 --> 00:31:04,261 Turned out to be the flu. 528 00:31:04,263 --> 00:31:07,998 - I'm serious. - I'm serious, too. 529 00:31:08,833 --> 00:31:11,702 Just once, then I lost all self-respect. 530 00:31:11,704 --> 00:31:13,503 - What happened? 531 00:31:13,505 --> 00:31:16,039 - Ugh, I don't know. - It was like a year ago. 532 00:31:16,041 --> 00:31:17,875 We were going out for a while, and then suddenly she decided 533 00:31:17,877 --> 00:31:19,776 she needed to find herself. 534 00:31:19,778 --> 00:31:23,347 Apparently, she'd been hiding inside another man's penis. 535 00:31:23,349 --> 00:31:24,915 - That's a good place to hide. 536 00:31:24,917 --> 00:31:26,917 Bet you didn't think to look there. 537 00:31:26,919 --> 00:31:28,418 - Are you folks ready to order? 538 00:31:28,420 --> 00:31:30,754 - Sure. - Go ahead. 539 00:31:30,756 --> 00:31:34,258 - Uh... - The, um, the chicken special. 540 00:31:34,260 --> 00:31:35,893 How does that come? 541 00:31:35,895 --> 00:31:37,361 - Baked, broiled, barbecue, stuffed, flame-broiled, 542 00:31:37,363 --> 00:31:39,363 peppered, on in a nice pot pie. 543 00:31:39,365 --> 00:31:40,898 - Um... 544 00:31:40,900 --> 00:31:43,267 The... the broi... broiled chicken special. 545 00:31:43,269 --> 00:31:45,235 - Me, too. - How would you like the potato? 546 00:31:45,237 --> 00:31:47,571 - Baked. - What are the other options? 547 00:31:47,573 --> 00:31:48,772 - Baked, whipped, scalloped, au gratin, 548 00:31:48,774 --> 00:31:50,474 country-fried, French fries. 549 00:31:50,476 --> 00:31:52,609 - Can we possibly substitute that with like a fruit compote? 550 00:31:52,611 --> 00:31:54,278 - Just get whipped. - Everyone likes whipped. 551 00:31:54,280 --> 00:31:55,746 - I do like whipped. - I'll get whipped. 552 00:31:55,748 --> 00:31:56,947 - Soup or salad? - Salad. 553 00:31:56,949 --> 00:31:58,415 - Sure. - Two salads. 554 00:31:58,417 --> 00:32:00,083 - Ranch, Russian, thousand island, blue cheese, 555 00:32:00,085 --> 00:32:02,085 ranch peppercorn, ranch vinaigrette, house Italian? 556 00:32:02,087 --> 00:32:03,987 - Do you have roquefort, or is that the same as blue cheese? 557 00:32:03,989 --> 00:32:05,322 - If they had roquefort, she'd say roquefort. 558 00:32:05,324 --> 00:32:06,990 - Unless they were the same thing. 559 00:32:06,992 --> 00:32:09,259 - We have blue cheese. - House Italian for me, please. 560 00:32:09,261 --> 00:32:11,128 - Can I switch that to the soup? - Veggie, beef barley, 561 00:32:11,130 --> 00:32:12,996 chicken noodle, cream of celery, or matzo ball. 562 00:32:12,998 --> 00:32:14,965 - Just go with the salad, house dressing. 563 00:32:14,967 --> 00:32:17,134 - Sure, yeah. Does the special come with bread? 564 00:32:17,136 --> 00:32:18,802 - Yes, white, wheat, rye, marble rye, pumpernickel, 565 00:32:18,804 --> 00:32:20,804 sour dough, kaiser roll, or bread stick. 566 00:32:20,806 --> 00:32:22,472 - Can we just get a variety in a basket? 567 00:32:22,474 --> 00:32:23,840 - Two specials, broiled, 568 00:32:23,842 --> 00:32:25,342 potatoes... one baked, one whipped... 569 00:32:25,344 --> 00:32:27,611 two salads, house dressing, basket of bread. 570 00:32:27,613 --> 00:32:28,912 Anything to drink? 571 00:32:28,914 --> 00:32:30,514 - Two cokes. - I'll be up all night. 572 00:32:30,516 --> 00:32:31,915 - Coke, diet coke, sprite, root beer, iced tea, 573 00:32:31,917 --> 00:32:33,917 lemonade, o.J., coffee, tea, or milk? 574 00:32:33,919 --> 00:32:36,987 - One coke, one... - Sprite? 575 00:32:39,490 --> 00:32:41,325 You're very decisive. 576 00:32:41,327 --> 00:32:43,827 - Maybe that's your problem, you need to be more decisive. 577 00:32:43,829 --> 00:32:46,430 - Well, I have way more problems than that. 578 00:32:46,432 --> 00:32:47,464 I think. 579 00:32:52,437 --> 00:32:54,104 - I'm sorry, you guys. 580 00:32:54,106 --> 00:32:57,407 We're all out of chicken. 581 00:33:33,078 --> 00:33:34,811 - Hey. - Hey, how's it going? 582 00:33:34,813 --> 00:33:36,079 Am I interrupting? 583 00:33:36,081 --> 00:33:37,881 - Not at all. 584 00:33:37,883 --> 00:33:40,817 I was just warming up, loosen out all those bugs. 585 00:33:40,819 --> 00:33:43,487 - Mm-hmm. - What for? 586 00:33:43,489 --> 00:33:45,822 - Well, after seeing Allison right before she died, 587 00:33:45,824 --> 00:33:48,725 I realized she saw me for who I was. 588 00:33:48,727 --> 00:33:51,561 She saw that I had the soul of an artist. 589 00:33:51,563 --> 00:33:53,163 - Wait, what? - What does that mean? 590 00:33:53,165 --> 00:33:56,066 - I'm gonna be a dancer. 591 00:33:56,068 --> 00:33:58,568 - Like as a job, you're gonna do it as a job? 592 00:33:58,570 --> 00:34:00,904 - It's not commerce of the wallet, 593 00:34:00,906 --> 00:34:03,340 it's commerce of the spirit. 594 00:34:03,342 --> 00:34:05,709 We only live once. 595 00:34:05,711 --> 00:34:09,212 I need to find a way to express myself. 596 00:34:09,214 --> 00:34:10,547 - Through dance? 597 00:34:10,549 --> 00:34:13,583 - Yes. 598 00:34:13,585 --> 00:34:15,819 How do you express yourself? 599 00:34:17,422 --> 00:34:20,624 - Um, ah, I'm not sure I do. 600 00:34:20,626 --> 00:34:22,692 - That's your problem. 601 00:34:22,694 --> 00:34:25,695 - Why does everybody think i have a problem lately? 602 00:34:25,697 --> 00:34:28,065 I'm actually very happy with my life. 603 00:34:28,067 --> 00:34:30,434 - That's your problem, too. 604 00:34:38,076 --> 00:34:41,044 Plans and projects 605 00:35:06,138 --> 00:35:08,405 - no fucking way! - Todd Parker! 606 00:35:08,407 --> 00:35:10,740 - Jeffy! Wow! - Hey, how are you, man? 607 00:35:10,742 --> 00:35:12,342 - Oh, where have you been, man? 608 00:35:12,344 --> 00:35:14,077 Curtis and I were just taking bets on whether you were 609 00:35:14,079 --> 00:35:17,314 - in prison or witness protection. - Oh, no, no, no. 610 00:35:17,316 --> 00:35:19,583 - Still cruising the bitches and slapping the hos? 611 00:35:19,585 --> 00:35:21,084 - Eh, not so much. 612 00:35:21,086 --> 00:35:22,986 - They must have named an std after you now. 613 00:35:22,988 --> 00:35:24,321 I swear, you had 30 different strands of chlamydia 614 00:35:24,323 --> 00:35:25,856 that one summer. 615 00:35:25,858 --> 00:35:27,324 Speaking of bitches you crushed, 616 00:35:27,326 --> 00:35:28,692 did you hear about Allison segal? 617 00:35:28,694 --> 00:35:30,427 - Yeah, it's sad. - Fucking terrible. 618 00:35:30,429 --> 00:35:32,929 - By the way, this is my wife. 619 00:35:32,931 --> 00:35:34,030 - Oh. 620 00:35:34,032 --> 00:35:35,832 - And my little girl, Claudia. 621 00:35:35,834 --> 00:35:37,267 - Your... 622 00:35:37,269 --> 00:35:38,702 Your little... 623 00:35:38,704 --> 00:35:40,637 - Nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you. Hi. 624 00:35:40,639 --> 00:35:42,939 - This is Jeffy. 625 00:35:42,941 --> 00:35:45,008 We were... Pals. 626 00:35:45,010 --> 00:35:46,209 - Yeah. - At school. 627 00:35:46,211 --> 00:35:47,777 - Yeah, yeah. 628 00:35:47,779 --> 00:35:51,114 Wow! Look at... Todd Parker and fam. 629 00:35:51,116 --> 00:35:52,482 This is just... you know what? 630 00:35:52,484 --> 00:35:54,284 Can I get a picture of you guys? This... 631 00:35:54,286 --> 00:35:55,952 Curtis is gonna laugh his ass off. 632 00:35:55,954 --> 00:35:57,954 Oh, wow! 633 00:35:57,956 --> 00:36:00,457 Uh, a little closer. A little closer. 634 00:36:00,459 --> 00:36:04,127 Yeah. That's all right. I'll widen out. Nice. 635 00:36:04,129 --> 00:36:06,329 Oh, you would not believe the trouble we used to get into. 636 00:36:06,331 --> 00:36:08,698 - This guy. - Yeah, she's heard the stories. 637 00:36:08,700 --> 00:36:11,067 - Uh, Claudia's getting a little grumpy here. 638 00:36:11,069 --> 00:36:13,136 I'm gonna take her to the car. 639 00:36:13,138 --> 00:36:14,804 It was nice to meet you, Jeffy. 640 00:36:14,806 --> 00:36:17,374 - Nice to meet you. - See you in a bit. 641 00:36:17,376 --> 00:36:19,309 I'll be right out. 642 00:36:19,311 --> 00:36:22,646 - Bye, Claudia. 643 00:36:23,481 --> 00:36:24,681 - Shit, man, how many fucking times 644 00:36:24,683 --> 00:36:26,082 did I tell you to wrap it up? 645 00:36:26,084 --> 00:36:27,350 You're lucky it was a baby and not aids. 646 00:36:28,720 --> 00:36:32,923 Yeah, well, I... I kind of wanted this one. 647 00:36:32,925 --> 00:36:34,491 But, anyway, what's going on with you, man? 648 00:36:34,493 --> 00:36:36,059 You working, what are you doing? 649 00:36:36,061 --> 00:36:38,161 - Oh, yeah, yeah! You know, working... oops, shit! 650 00:36:38,163 --> 00:36:39,663 Working on not working. 651 00:36:39,665 --> 00:36:42,165 Working on getting to a mountain each season. 652 00:36:42,167 --> 00:36:44,201 Hey, so, you know, i was gonna go get a drink. 653 00:36:44,203 --> 00:36:45,535 You should come out with. 654 00:36:45,537 --> 00:36:47,337 - Oh... No, I can't. 655 00:36:47,339 --> 00:36:50,674 I, uh, I gotta get Claudia down. It's past her bedtime. 656 00:36:50,676 --> 00:36:52,409 - Bedtime? It's like... 657 00:36:52,411 --> 00:36:54,511 - naptime, you know. 658 00:36:55,714 --> 00:36:57,414 - Not really. - Babies take naps. 659 00:36:57,416 --> 00:36:59,516 - Yeah. - Well, maybe another time then. 660 00:36:59,518 --> 00:37:00,850 We'll go out for a... 661 00:37:00,852 --> 00:37:02,385 You know, Curtis would love to see you. 662 00:37:02,387 --> 00:37:04,554 Speaking of, do you ever see will or Nicholas or... 663 00:37:04,556 --> 00:37:07,057 - oh, yeah, yeah. - They're... they're both married. 664 00:37:07,059 --> 00:37:09,159 Will's working on kid number two. 665 00:37:10,361 --> 00:37:12,796 - What?! - Yeah, I know. 666 00:37:12,798 --> 00:37:14,231 - What?! Married?! - Yeah. 667 00:37:14,233 --> 00:37:16,633 - Kids? What... - what happened to you guys? 668 00:37:16,635 --> 00:37:19,102 You all get, like, abducted by aliens or something? 669 00:37:19,104 --> 00:37:22,973 - Oh, no, we just kind of grew up, you know. 670 00:37:22,975 --> 00:37:24,241 You know what? 671 00:37:24,243 --> 00:37:26,376 Let me get a picture of you, too. 672 00:37:26,378 --> 00:37:29,813 The guys are not gonna believe how much you have not changed. 673 00:37:29,815 --> 00:37:31,715 - Yeah. How about this? 674 00:37:31,717 --> 00:37:33,250 Sun's out, guns out. Do this. 675 00:37:33,252 --> 00:37:35,485 - Oh, yeah, yeah! - Classic Chucky. 676 00:37:35,487 --> 00:37:36,886 - Oh, so stupid. - It's like old times. 677 00:37:36,888 --> 00:37:38,755 - You get it?! - That's awesome! 678 00:37:38,757 --> 00:37:40,390 Oh, man. 679 00:37:40,392 --> 00:37:42,959 Well, I gotta get out of here, but good to see you. 680 00:37:42,961 --> 00:37:44,894 - Yeah, totally. - Say hi to Curtis. 681 00:37:44,896 --> 00:37:47,797 Tell him I remember he owes me 40 bucks. 682 00:37:47,799 --> 00:37:49,432 - Dude, he's gonna flip. - Yeah. 683 00:37:49,434 --> 00:37:51,134 - All right, see ya. - Oh, hey, um... 684 00:37:51,136 --> 00:37:55,472 Speaking of, do you think i could borrow, like, 20 bucks? 685 00:37:58,509 --> 00:38:00,910 - 30 different strands of chlamydia? 686 00:38:00,912 --> 00:38:02,345 - He was exaggerating. 687 00:38:02,347 --> 00:38:04,247 It was one summer, I got it, like, twice. 688 00:38:04,249 --> 00:38:06,983 It's not a big deal. It was like 10 years ago. 689 00:38:06,985 --> 00:38:08,752 - I don't want you hanging out with him. 690 00:38:08,754 --> 00:38:11,321 - Okay, well, you don't have to worry about it. 691 00:38:43,021 --> 00:38:46,156 - Hello. - Hey. 692 00:38:46,158 --> 00:38:48,625 - Unironic knuckle bump. 693 00:38:48,627 --> 00:38:50,527 - What are we moronically knuckle-bumping to? 694 00:38:50,529 --> 00:38:53,229 - Unironically knuckle-bumping to the somebody here 695 00:38:53,231 --> 00:38:55,965 who got a real job today. 696 00:38:55,967 --> 00:38:57,534 - What?! - Yeah. 697 00:38:57,536 --> 00:38:59,069 It's only an entry-level position, 698 00:38:59,071 --> 00:39:02,739 but it's full-time with benefits and a key fob! 699 00:39:02,741 --> 00:39:06,543 - I didn't even know that you were looking or... 700 00:39:06,545 --> 00:39:08,545 - Full-time, huh? - Yeah! 701 00:39:08,547 --> 00:39:10,547 Yeah, I just put it out into the universe, 702 00:39:10,549 --> 00:39:12,382 then I ran into this old friend of mine. 703 00:39:12,384 --> 00:39:14,984 Her company was looking, and the next thing you know... 704 00:39:14,986 --> 00:39:17,721 - Key fob! - Sweet. 705 00:39:17,723 --> 00:39:19,189 Soon you'll be able to afford some atvs 706 00:39:19,191 --> 00:39:20,824 and jet skis you'll never use. 707 00:39:20,826 --> 00:39:24,027 - What are you talking about? 708 00:39:24,029 --> 00:39:25,395 - I'm kidding, I'm kidding. 709 00:39:25,397 --> 00:39:28,064 This is exciting. Come here. Come here. 710 00:39:28,066 --> 00:39:29,232 Mmm! 711 00:39:29,234 --> 00:39:31,568 - Mwah! 712 00:39:31,570 --> 00:39:34,137 Oh. 713 00:39:38,242 --> 00:39:40,243 You don't want to be a temp for the rest of your life, 714 00:39:40,245 --> 00:39:42,779 do you? 715 00:39:44,216 --> 00:39:46,416 - What? 716 00:39:46,717 --> 00:39:48,718 - Yeah. 717 00:39:48,720 --> 00:39:50,086 Oh. 718 00:39:50,088 --> 00:39:53,123 Oh, what's her name? 719 00:39:53,125 --> 00:39:54,858 - Dad. - Oh, sounds hot. 720 00:39:54,860 --> 00:39:59,195 - I need to go get something from him. 721 00:39:59,197 --> 00:40:01,898 - Does this mean i get to meet your dad? 722 00:40:01,900 --> 00:40:03,967 - No. 723 00:40:18,650 --> 00:40:21,284 - There's my boy! - How are the slopes?! 724 00:40:21,286 --> 00:40:23,319 - Gonna find out. 725 00:40:23,321 --> 00:40:24,821 - Come aboard, come aboard. 726 00:40:26,658 --> 00:40:27,824 - Oh. - Tricky. 727 00:40:27,826 --> 00:40:30,093 - Oh. - Mind if I vape? 728 00:40:30,095 --> 00:40:35,298 I got a sweet little personal-use grow-op topside. 729 00:40:35,300 --> 00:40:38,468 For my migraines and anxieties... totally legal. 730 00:40:38,470 --> 00:40:40,303 But... 731 00:40:40,305 --> 00:40:43,573 I lace it with a hint of opium. Not as legal. 732 00:40:43,575 --> 00:40:45,575 Dad, it's 10:30 in the morning. 733 00:40:45,577 --> 00:40:50,613 - Well, what is you kids say, it's 4:20 somewhere. 734 00:40:50,615 --> 00:40:52,982 - Oh, no. Thank you. 735 00:41:08,265 --> 00:41:10,633 - Anyway. 736 00:41:10,635 --> 00:41:11,801 - Oh. 737 00:41:11,803 --> 00:41:14,838 Uh, it's from you grandma. 738 00:41:14,840 --> 00:41:16,372 And then... 739 00:41:16,374 --> 00:41:19,008 I had to borrow, like, 40 bucks out of there 740 00:41:19,010 --> 00:41:22,479 to cover my health insurance. 741 00:41:22,481 --> 00:41:25,748 - It's... it's fine. 742 00:41:32,456 --> 00:41:34,524 Dad? 743 00:41:34,526 --> 00:41:36,192 - Dad? - Oh, my god, man. 744 00:41:36,194 --> 00:41:39,195 Where's my manners. Let me give you the grand tour. 745 00:41:39,197 --> 00:41:42,065 Um... 746 00:41:42,067 --> 00:41:43,833 Uh, there's the kitchenette, 747 00:41:43,835 --> 00:41:46,803 um... The microwave oven, 748 00:41:46,805 --> 00:41:49,973 toaster oven, range top. 749 00:41:49,975 --> 00:41:53,042 And here's my bedroom. 750 00:41:53,044 --> 00:41:56,980 Motion of the ocean, it's like sleeping in the womb. 751 00:41:56,982 --> 00:42:00,583 And then through the kitchenette is the freedom room. 752 00:42:00,585 --> 00:42:02,352 That's for... Open debate 753 00:42:02,354 --> 00:42:05,388 and discourse and just vegging out. 754 00:42:05,390 --> 00:42:10,193 Plus, I got directv, so I watch "whale wars." 755 00:42:10,195 --> 00:42:14,898 - Well, it is a very lovely home... Boat. 756 00:42:14,900 --> 00:42:18,568 - When Jeffy's mom left, my whole perspective changed. 757 00:42:18,570 --> 00:42:20,003 And I just looked around, 758 00:42:20,005 --> 00:42:21,771 and I thought, "do these advanced degrees" 759 00:42:21,773 --> 00:42:23,706 hanging on the wall mean anything? 760 00:42:23,708 --> 00:42:28,177 "Does Volvo's safety record mean anything?" 761 00:42:28,179 --> 00:42:29,879 I'm 15 years into a 30-year mortgage 762 00:42:29,881 --> 00:42:32,582 and who cares?! 763 00:42:32,584 --> 00:42:35,051 It's prison. 764 00:42:35,053 --> 00:42:37,353 And little Jeffy sprouted his little wings, 765 00:42:37,355 --> 00:42:39,022 flew the Coop, and that was it. 766 00:42:39,024 --> 00:42:40,890 I just... 767 00:42:40,892 --> 00:42:43,092 Didn't need to own anything, didn't need to be anywhere, 768 00:42:43,094 --> 00:42:45,028 so I had a friend, he had a boat, 769 00:42:45,030 --> 00:42:47,196 and I'm living the dream for $375 a month, 770 00:42:47,198 --> 00:42:49,566 plus I gotta scrape the barnacles off. 771 00:42:49,568 --> 00:42:51,901 - Okay, we gotta go, dad. - Yeah, me, too. 772 00:42:51,903 --> 00:42:54,571 Don't be a stranger, okay, unless that's your thing. 773 00:42:54,573 --> 00:42:55,872 All right, how about a hug. 774 00:42:55,874 --> 00:42:57,073 - Oh. - Mm! 775 00:42:57,075 --> 00:42:58,641 - So nice to meet you. 776 00:42:58,643 --> 00:43:01,210 - Oh, my god. That feels good! 777 00:43:01,212 --> 00:43:03,146 Dang. Seriously. 778 00:43:03,148 --> 00:43:05,214 What do you gotta do to score a fox like you? 779 00:43:05,216 --> 00:43:07,283 - Easy. 780 00:43:12,790 --> 00:43:14,223 - By left, he meant left this earth. 781 00:43:14,225 --> 00:43:15,592 My mother's dead. 782 00:43:19,730 --> 00:43:21,264 - I'm sorry. 783 00:43:21,266 --> 00:43:23,533 - It was a long time ago. 784 00:43:25,302 --> 00:43:26,636 Should have just told you earlier. 785 00:43:26,638 --> 00:43:29,272 I don't know why I didn't. 786 00:43:29,274 --> 00:43:32,241 - It's okay. 787 00:43:32,243 --> 00:43:34,243 - Yeah, thank god I only have to see him once a month. 788 00:43:37,449 --> 00:43:38,982 - You know... - Yes. 789 00:43:38,984 --> 00:43:41,317 - No. Mnh-mnh. 790 00:43:50,362 --> 00:43:54,764 - Are you sure he can't hear us? 791 00:43:54,766 --> 00:43:56,099 - Oh, no, he can definitely hear us, 792 00:43:56,101 --> 00:43:59,435 I just told him not to listen. 793 00:44:00,804 --> 00:44:04,474 - Oh, no, I... no, no. - I can't do this. 794 00:44:04,476 --> 00:44:06,142 - What do you mean you can't do this? Yes, you can. 795 00:44:06,144 --> 00:44:07,677 - I can't do this. - Yes, you can totally do this. 796 00:44:07,679 --> 00:44:09,278 - You can absolutely... - no. 797 00:44:09,280 --> 00:44:11,214 - Oh, come on. You can do it in the bathroom of a bar 798 00:44:11,216 --> 00:44:14,951 or in the broom closet of an office or in the car, 799 00:44:14,953 --> 00:44:17,687 but you can't do it with little Curtis around. 800 00:44:17,689 --> 00:44:19,122 - No, no, listen... listen. 801 00:44:19,124 --> 00:44:20,957 - Mm-hmm. - They were strangers. 802 00:44:20,959 --> 00:44:24,627 I know Curtis, i have to see him again. 803 00:44:24,629 --> 00:44:26,129 - Want to go to your place? 804 00:44:26,131 --> 00:44:28,364 - I would, but it's after midnight 805 00:44:28,366 --> 00:44:29,465 and I have to work tomorrow. 806 00:44:29,467 --> 00:44:31,134 - Yeah, so? 807 00:44:31,136 --> 00:44:32,402 - Hey, hey, listen. 808 00:44:32,404 --> 00:44:34,537 How about I just a rain check 809 00:44:34,539 --> 00:44:37,807 for when Curtis is out of town or something. 810 00:44:37,809 --> 00:44:39,475 - Fine, blue-ball me. 811 00:44:39,477 --> 00:44:41,144 - Ew. - Never, ever say that again. 812 00:44:41,146 --> 00:44:43,780 - Oh, don't ever do it again. 813 00:44:45,582 --> 00:44:47,817 - Oh, by the way, what are you doing on Saturday? 814 00:44:47,819 --> 00:44:49,686 - Nothing, I don't think. - Good. 815 00:44:49,688 --> 00:44:52,255 'Cause I plus-oned you to this girl, Miranda's, wedding. 816 00:44:52,257 --> 00:44:53,856 I just started working with her, 817 00:44:53,858 --> 00:44:55,525 so it's kind of weird that I even got an invite, 818 00:44:55,527 --> 00:44:57,060 but not surprising seeing as though 819 00:44:57,062 --> 00:44:58,828 I get invited to everybody's wedding, 820 00:44:58,830 --> 00:45:01,864 this being the sixth of the year. 821 00:45:01,866 --> 00:45:03,666 - You plus-oned me to a... - to a wedding? 822 00:45:03,668 --> 00:45:06,836 - Yeah, free food, an open bar, i figured you wouldn't mind. 823 00:45:06,838 --> 00:45:08,438 - You can't just plus-one somebody to a wedding 824 00:45:08,440 --> 00:45:10,840 without asking if they're available first. 825 00:45:10,842 --> 00:45:13,342 - I'm sorry, I didn't think it would be a thing. 826 00:45:13,344 --> 00:45:15,778 - To... to a wedding? - To a work person's wedding, 827 00:45:15,780 --> 00:45:17,447 and you think i want to go hang out 828 00:45:17,449 --> 00:45:19,515 with a bunch of stiffs i have nothing in common with? 829 00:45:19,517 --> 00:45:22,185 - Okay, first of all, they're not stiffs, they're my friends. 830 00:45:22,187 --> 00:45:24,053 - Oh, and what do you do, friend of Stephanie's? 831 00:45:24,055 --> 00:45:27,056 Oh, I fill in for you assholes for about 1/10 of your salary 832 00:45:27,058 --> 00:45:28,891 whenever one of you has a stress-related heart attack 833 00:45:28,893 --> 00:45:30,693 on your way to an early grave. 834 00:45:30,695 --> 00:45:33,930 - Wow, sometimes you can be such a sad, judgy dick. 835 00:45:33,932 --> 00:45:35,598 - I'm a dick? - Uh-huh! 836 00:45:35,600 --> 00:45:37,233 - You're the one who plus-oned me to a wedding 837 00:45:37,235 --> 00:45:39,202 without even asking if I was available first. 838 00:45:39,204 --> 00:45:40,770 - Okay, I'm sorry. - I should have asked. 839 00:45:40,772 --> 00:45:43,106 - Shocking people even go to those things anymore. 840 00:45:43,108 --> 00:45:45,641 I mean, how can you sit there celebrating two morons 841 00:45:45,643 --> 00:45:47,577 who are just gonna be divorced in five years. 842 00:45:47,579 --> 00:45:49,278 And you don't just invite yourself 843 00:45:49,280 --> 00:45:51,214 to meet somebody's dad, by the way. 844 00:45:51,216 --> 00:45:52,715 If I wanted you to meet that asshole, 845 00:45:52,717 --> 00:45:54,317 I would have invited you. 846 00:45:54,319 --> 00:45:56,619 I would have... I would have invited you to meet him. 847 00:45:56,621 --> 00:45:59,122 - That's personal, okay? - I'm sorry. 848 00:45:59,124 --> 00:46:00,456 I didn't even realize that you felt that way. 849 00:46:00,458 --> 00:46:02,125 - And what the fuck are you sending me 850 00:46:02,127 --> 00:46:04,093 a relationship request for? 851 00:46:04,095 --> 00:46:06,229 Guess what, Steph, the world of social media 852 00:46:06,231 --> 00:46:08,664 does not give two shits if we are in a relationship 853 00:46:08,666 --> 00:46:10,967 or complicated or... or whatever. 854 00:46:10,969 --> 00:46:13,102 And I'm sorry if I refuse to take what we have 855 00:46:13,104 --> 00:46:14,604 and shout it to cyberspace 856 00:46:14,606 --> 00:46:16,472 so people can like it or comment on it 857 00:46:16,474 --> 00:46:18,941 whenever we put up a photo of ourselves! 858 00:46:18,943 --> 00:46:20,510 And then when we inevitably break up, 859 00:46:20,512 --> 00:46:24,781 have those exact same people like that status. 860 00:46:24,783 --> 00:46:27,250 You just over-step... 861 00:46:27,252 --> 00:46:29,352 a lot, and I think you should work on that. 862 00:46:29,354 --> 00:46:32,088 - Excuse me?! 863 00:46:32,090 --> 00:46:33,689 - I'm saying this because I care. 864 00:46:33,691 --> 00:46:37,827 - What do we have, Jefferson? - What do we have? 865 00:46:37,829 --> 00:46:40,696 - W... we have this. - We have us. 866 00:46:40,698 --> 00:46:42,465 Christ, what do you want, Steph? 867 00:46:42,467 --> 00:46:44,534 I feel like I've been expressly clear about what I want, 868 00:46:44,536 --> 00:46:46,469 and you're the one who's gone changing the deal. 869 00:46:46,471 --> 00:46:48,304 - That's life! 870 00:46:48,306 --> 00:46:50,473 Things grow and change and evolve! 871 00:46:50,475 --> 00:46:53,643 Relationships grow and change and evolve. 872 00:46:53,645 --> 00:46:55,378 I can't do this anymore. 873 00:46:55,380 --> 00:46:57,180 I don't want to be just a fuck buddy. 874 00:46:57,182 --> 00:46:59,048 - Fuck buddy? - We're not even fucking. 875 00:46:59,050 --> 00:47:01,617 You're leaving, remember? 876 00:47:02,386 --> 00:47:04,720 - Oh, I am so done with this. 877 00:47:04,722 --> 00:47:06,322 And you know what? 878 00:47:06,324 --> 00:47:08,057 It might shock you, but I'm actually looking for 879 00:47:08,059 --> 00:47:09,659 something way more than a label. 880 00:47:09,661 --> 00:47:12,295 I'm looking for a fucking partner in crime. 881 00:47:12,297 --> 00:47:14,030 - That you can just get tired of and dump? 882 00:47:14,032 --> 00:47:16,465 - I am not your ex-girlfriend! 883 00:47:16,467 --> 00:47:18,467 I'm not gonna go hide in some other man's penis! 884 00:47:18,469 --> 00:47:21,537 - Tell that to Josh. 885 00:47:21,539 --> 00:47:24,740 - You are a self-fulfilling prophesy. 886 00:47:24,742 --> 00:47:26,676 - Another label, thank you. 887 00:47:39,723 --> 00:47:42,391 - Go after here. 888 00:47:44,394 --> 00:47:47,763 Okay, don't, that's cool. 889 00:48:07,251 --> 00:48:09,185 - Mmm! 890 00:48:09,187 --> 00:48:10,553 This was heavenly! 891 00:48:10,555 --> 00:48:11,854 - What I tell you? 892 00:48:11,856 --> 00:48:15,091 Cupcakes are the panacea for all ailments. 893 00:48:15,093 --> 00:48:18,261 - Yeah, but now instead of feeling sad, I feel guilty. 894 00:48:18,263 --> 00:48:20,596 - Fat. - You'll get over it. 895 00:48:20,598 --> 00:48:23,299 - What the hell's a panacea anyway? 896 00:48:23,301 --> 00:48:25,701 - It's Greek for cure-all. 897 00:48:25,703 --> 00:48:27,236 - How do you know that? 898 00:48:27,238 --> 00:48:30,039 - I'm Greek. - No, you're not. 899 00:48:30,041 --> 00:48:31,974 - Are you? - Half. 900 00:48:31,976 --> 00:48:33,609 - Maybe he's right. 901 00:48:33,611 --> 00:48:36,045 Maybe we are too young to be thinking about the future. 902 00:48:36,047 --> 00:48:37,413 We should just live in the moment. 903 00:48:37,415 --> 00:48:39,081 - No. 904 00:48:39,083 --> 00:48:41,550 Spending your twenties, like, sowing your wild oats 905 00:48:41,552 --> 00:48:43,386 or finding yourself or whatever 906 00:48:43,388 --> 00:48:44,987 is a bunch of malarkey. 907 00:48:44,989 --> 00:48:47,256 All that leaves you is a biological clock 908 00:48:47,258 --> 00:48:49,825 ticking in tall boots, going on eharmony dates 909 00:48:49,827 --> 00:48:52,461 with men in their 40s who still collect action figures. 910 00:48:52,463 --> 00:48:55,298 - Did you just say "malarkey"? - I'm bringing it back. 911 00:48:55,300 --> 00:48:56,966 You know what we should do? 912 00:48:56,968 --> 00:49:01,771 We should get dressed and call some boys and go out. 913 00:49:01,773 --> 00:49:04,140 - After this. - Attagirl. 914 00:49:12,349 --> 00:49:14,617 - 5, 6, 7, 8. 915 00:49:14,619 --> 00:49:16,786 One, three... 916 00:49:16,788 --> 00:49:18,788 5, 6, 7, 8. 917 00:49:18,790 --> 00:49:20,423 And good. 918 00:49:22,960 --> 00:49:25,027 Lift up. 919 00:49:25,029 --> 00:49:27,129 Stop, stop, stop. 920 00:49:27,131 --> 00:49:30,666 Please, stop. Everyone, come here a second. 921 00:49:34,504 --> 00:49:37,373 - That's great, but maybe we should save the accounting 922 00:49:37,375 --> 00:49:40,776 for the apartment. 923 00:49:40,778 --> 00:49:42,979 Why don't we just go to mount hood next year? 924 00:49:42,981 --> 00:49:44,547 - Please, if there's one thing we are definitely doing 925 00:49:44,549 --> 00:49:47,717 this year, it is going to mount hood. 926 00:49:53,056 --> 00:49:56,058 - Are we maybe running away from something? 927 00:50:02,133 --> 00:50:04,533 - Sometimes you have to have something and lose it 928 00:50:04,535 --> 00:50:07,136 to know why you wanted it or needed it. 929 00:50:09,506 --> 00:50:11,574 - Are you talking about beer? 930 00:50:11,576 --> 00:50:13,009 'Cause I could really use a beer. 931 00:50:15,413 --> 00:50:20,049 - Well, if you consider my movie collection a shrine... 932 00:50:20,051 --> 00:50:22,151 Uh-oh. 933 00:50:22,153 --> 00:50:23,686 - Uh-oh, what? 934 00:50:26,257 --> 00:50:28,524 - Shit! 935 00:50:28,526 --> 00:50:29,892 Shit! 936 00:50:32,363 --> 00:50:34,363 Shit! 937 00:50:34,365 --> 00:50:36,999 Shit! Who's the guy she's with? 938 00:50:37,001 --> 00:50:40,436 - A guy. - That asshole! 939 00:50:40,438 --> 00:50:41,704 I bet he sells things. 940 00:50:41,706 --> 00:50:43,906 - We're all selling something. 941 00:50:46,209 --> 00:50:48,177 - Yep. 942 00:50:49,546 --> 00:50:51,280 - That was kind of funny? - Yeah. 943 00:50:51,282 --> 00:50:53,249 - A lot of disinfectant. 944 00:50:53,251 --> 00:50:55,751 - Hey, hey, hey. 945 00:50:55,753 --> 00:50:56,786 Amy, good to see you. 946 00:50:56,788 --> 00:50:58,220 - No. 947 00:50:58,222 --> 00:51:00,289 - Oh, you must be Matt. 948 00:51:00,291 --> 00:51:02,925 No, no, Jason. Ryan? 949 00:51:02,927 --> 00:51:04,693 - Okay. - So many, I get 'em confused. 950 00:51:04,695 --> 00:51:06,228 What are you doing here? 951 00:51:06,230 --> 00:51:08,197 - Same thing everyone else is doing here, I guess. 952 00:51:08,199 --> 00:51:09,865 - Pretending to have a good time in your desperate attempt 953 00:51:09,867 --> 00:51:11,634 to convince ourselves we belong? 954 00:51:11,636 --> 00:51:13,302 - We're having a few drinks. 955 00:51:13,304 --> 00:51:15,371 - What are you doing here? - Pretending to have a good time 956 00:51:15,373 --> 00:51:17,273 in a desperate attempt to convince myself I bel... 957 00:51:17,275 --> 00:51:18,908 - have you met Blake? - Hey, what's up, guy? 958 00:51:18,910 --> 00:51:20,476 - How's sales? - Oh, pretty good. 959 00:51:20,478 --> 00:51:21,977 - Oh, really, 'cause I don't see any coffee. 960 00:51:21,979 --> 00:51:24,847 And we all know that coffee is for closers. 961 00:51:26,283 --> 00:51:29,819 Stupid "glengarry Glen Ross"... great movie, 962 00:51:29,821 --> 00:51:31,620 one of her favorites if you're trying to get in her pants. 963 00:51:31,622 --> 00:51:33,722 Hey, can I... can we talk privately? 964 00:51:33,724 --> 00:51:37,059 - Do you mind? - No, he's good. Come on. 965 00:51:40,397 --> 00:51:44,166 - I have no idea who Matt is. 966 00:51:46,436 --> 00:51:48,070 - Who's the guy? - Just a guy. 967 00:51:48,072 --> 00:51:50,239 - Just a guy, huh? - Just a guy. 968 00:51:50,241 --> 00:51:52,608 Sensitive, intelligent, sense of humor, cute smile. 969 00:51:52,610 --> 00:51:54,510 - Cute butt? - Oh, you noticed, too? 970 00:51:54,512 --> 00:51:55,811 - Oh, that thing is impossible to miss. 971 00:51:55,813 --> 00:51:57,580 That's a pilates ass, by the way. 972 00:51:57,582 --> 00:52:00,916 I can't believe you brought a date here to our bar. 973 00:52:00,918 --> 00:52:03,352 - I just met him, he's not a date. 974 00:52:03,354 --> 00:52:05,588 And I didn't realize this was our bar. 975 00:52:05,590 --> 00:52:08,424 - You know, I remember when I was just the guy. 976 00:52:08,426 --> 00:52:09,992 - Yeah. 977 00:52:09,994 --> 00:52:12,261 Sad, 'cause now you're just an asshole. 978 00:52:12,263 --> 00:52:16,298 - You know, from the start... - from the start, 979 00:52:16,300 --> 00:52:19,668 I said that if this happened between us, 980 00:52:19,670 --> 00:52:22,771 that... This would happen. 981 00:52:22,773 --> 00:52:24,473 - I'm glad he's here, 982 00:52:24,475 --> 00:52:26,809 'cause now I won't make some stupid mistake with you. 983 00:52:26,811 --> 00:52:28,477 - That's good. - It's good. 984 00:52:28,479 --> 00:52:30,446 - Good. - It's good. 985 00:52:34,986 --> 00:52:38,554 - What kind of stupid mistake are you talking about? 986 00:52:44,961 --> 00:52:47,029 Probably shouldn't have had that extra beer. 987 00:53:31,275 --> 00:53:35,044 - Maybe me focus on that instead of mount hood this year. 988 00:53:39,717 --> 00:53:42,885 - What? What are you talking about right now? 989 00:53:42,887 --> 00:53:44,920 - Don't be mad. 990 00:53:44,922 --> 00:53:47,423 I just... Want to spend more time 991 00:53:47,425 --> 00:53:49,792 trying to find myself. 992 00:53:49,794 --> 00:53:51,727 - That's what we do on the mountain. 993 00:53:51,729 --> 00:53:53,295 - Right, no, we do. 994 00:53:53,297 --> 00:53:55,898 But I think I'm growing beyond the mountain. 995 00:53:55,900 --> 00:53:58,133 - Beyond the mountain? - Plus, my parents 996 00:53:58,135 --> 00:54:00,102 are hassling me about not paying rent, 997 00:54:00,104 --> 00:54:01,570 especially for the three or four months 998 00:54:01,572 --> 00:54:02,905 that I'm not even home. 999 00:54:02,907 --> 00:54:04,473 - So get a sublet. 1000 00:54:04,475 --> 00:54:05,774 That's what people do, they get sublets. 1001 00:54:05,776 --> 00:54:07,776 - I'll help you, okay? - Right. 1002 00:54:07,778 --> 00:54:10,579 No, I know. 1003 00:54:10,581 --> 00:54:13,882 Also... I want to take some more dance classes, 1004 00:54:13,884 --> 00:54:15,784 and that's pretty spendy. 1005 00:54:19,122 --> 00:54:21,790 - Dance classes? 1006 00:54:26,930 --> 00:54:30,899 This ski trip is all I've wanted all year. 1007 00:54:30,901 --> 00:54:33,435 It is all I've been working these mind-numbing, 1008 00:54:33,437 --> 00:54:36,305 soul-sucking jobs for. 1009 00:54:36,307 --> 00:54:40,175 And you're just gonna take it away from me so you can dance?! 1010 00:54:40,177 --> 00:54:41,644 - You can have the money. 1011 00:54:41,646 --> 00:54:44,313 - It's not about the money, asshole! 1012 00:54:44,315 --> 00:54:46,148 It's about the fucking plan! 1013 00:54:46,150 --> 00:54:47,950 You had a plan, and you're not sticking to it! 1014 00:54:47,952 --> 00:54:49,852 - How am I an asshole for just not doing 1015 00:54:49,854 --> 00:54:52,388 - what you want me to do?! - Fuck you! 1016 00:55:21,451 --> 00:55:23,218 - Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1017 00:55:23,220 --> 00:55:25,354 Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh. 1018 00:55:25,356 --> 00:55:28,657 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. 1019 00:55:28,659 --> 00:55:32,394 Oh, fuck! Oh, yeah. Oh! Oh! 1020 00:55:32,396 --> 00:55:35,297 Yeah! Yeah! Yeah, yeah! I want it! 1021 00:55:35,299 --> 00:55:38,901 - Sorry, is it too loud? - Need me to headphone it? 1022 00:55:38,903 --> 00:55:41,670 I'll headphone it. 1023 00:55:45,408 --> 00:55:47,710 - Oh, hey, man. 1024 00:55:49,079 --> 00:55:51,647 - Dropped your shit. 1025 00:56:11,000 --> 00:56:14,370 - Wow. Cleaning. 1026 00:56:14,372 --> 00:56:17,239 - I'm having a friend come visit. 1027 00:56:17,241 --> 00:56:20,376 - We're having a friend come? - Uh, from Canada. 1028 00:56:20,378 --> 00:56:22,511 I told her she could stay here, so... 1029 00:56:22,513 --> 00:56:27,116 You know, she's going to come in just a little while. 1030 00:56:27,118 --> 00:56:30,185 - From Canada. - Yep. 1031 00:56:30,187 --> 00:56:33,021 - You need me to leave for a while or... 1032 00:56:36,393 --> 00:56:38,460 - Yeah, or... 1033 00:56:38,462 --> 00:56:40,696 Yeah. 1034 00:56:42,565 --> 00:56:44,933 - You need me to move out? 1035 00:56:44,935 --> 00:56:46,635 - I think. 1036 00:56:46,637 --> 00:56:49,238 Maybe. 1037 00:56:49,240 --> 00:56:53,142 Yeah. 1038 00:56:53,144 --> 00:56:55,043 - Oh, that's cool. 1039 00:56:55,045 --> 00:56:57,446 That's cool, I get it. 1040 00:56:57,448 --> 00:56:59,782 All right, yeah. You've been... 1041 00:56:59,784 --> 00:57:04,586 Very generous... Letting me stay here this long. 1042 00:57:04,588 --> 00:57:07,823 Uh... Thank your parents for me. 1043 00:57:07,825 --> 00:57:11,293 I'm gonna go... Get packing. 1044 00:57:11,295 --> 00:57:17,166 - You're still welcome to swing by and hang if you want. 1045 00:57:17,168 --> 00:57:21,003 - Well, I have no one else, so... 1046 00:57:22,238 --> 00:57:25,207 - Do you want me to make some home-made ice cream? 1047 00:58:12,155 --> 00:58:13,789 - Sea lion war! 1048 00:58:13,791 --> 00:58:15,324 Sometimes they go at it all night. 1049 00:58:15,326 --> 00:58:18,160 I just lay here listening. 1050 00:58:18,162 --> 00:58:21,363 Arf, arf! Arf, arf! 1051 00:58:21,365 --> 00:58:24,633 I love it! This is my pbs! 1052 00:58:26,469 --> 00:58:29,304 Arf, arf, arf, arf, arf! 1053 00:58:29,306 --> 00:58:31,707 I love it! 1054 00:58:46,089 --> 00:58:48,524 - So I've never really worked with butt plugs before. 1055 00:58:48,526 --> 00:58:50,192 Is there anything I should know? 1056 00:58:50,194 --> 00:58:52,361 - We pride ourselves on being a safe zone 1057 00:58:52,363 --> 00:58:55,364 for people to explore and express their sexuality. 1058 00:58:55,366 --> 00:58:57,232 What we don't want is those dirty raincoat-ers 1059 00:58:57,234 --> 00:58:59,701 coming in, looking at our boxes for an hour, 1060 00:58:59,703 --> 00:59:02,337 and then going to jerk it in the alleyway. 1061 00:59:02,339 --> 00:59:04,873 - So my job is to keep browsing and masturbating to a minimum. 1062 00:59:04,875 --> 00:59:07,342 - Shit, those have been recalled. 1063 00:59:07,344 --> 00:59:09,611 - So how long you been working here? 1064 00:59:09,613 --> 00:59:11,880 - About a year. But it's not like I'm gonna move up. 1065 00:59:11,882 --> 00:59:15,250 I've already hit the glass ceiling. 1066 00:59:15,252 --> 00:59:18,654 - You mean the mirrored ceiling. 1067 00:59:24,361 --> 00:59:26,461 - Oh, you got it. 1068 00:59:26,463 --> 00:59:29,264 - You are bad! - I gotta watch out for you. 1069 00:59:29,266 --> 00:59:30,933 So bad. 1070 00:59:30,935 --> 00:59:33,235 - Bet you get hit on relentlessly at a place like this. 1071 00:59:33,237 --> 00:59:35,804 - Yeah, but no one ever takes me seriously. 1072 00:59:35,806 --> 00:59:39,474 But it's not like I'm looking for anything serious, so... 1073 00:59:39,476 --> 00:59:41,710 - Thank you! That's the kind of girl I'd love to go out with. 1074 00:59:45,648 --> 00:59:48,317 - You would love to go out with me? 1075 00:59:48,319 --> 00:59:49,785 - I was just saying. 1076 00:59:49,787 --> 00:59:51,420 - Oh, my gosh, are you serious right now? 1077 00:59:51,422 --> 00:59:53,055 You... you better not be kidding! 1078 00:59:53,057 --> 00:59:54,623 You're not kidding, right? You're serious, right? 1079 00:59:54,625 --> 00:59:57,459 You're serious?! 1080 00:59:57,461 --> 00:59:59,094 - I mean... 1081 00:59:59,096 --> 01:00:00,495 Would you want to go out with me? 1082 01:00:00,497 --> 01:00:01,997 - Yes! Yeah, I would! 1083 01:00:01,999 --> 01:00:04,132 I do! Yes, I do. Yes. 1084 01:00:04,134 --> 01:00:06,435 You're not kidding, right? 1085 01:00:06,437 --> 01:00:08,737 - I mean, it's probably not wise, 1086 01:00:08,739 --> 01:00:12,507 seeing as, like, you're my boss. 1087 01:00:12,509 --> 01:00:15,243 - Oh. 1088 01:00:15,245 --> 01:00:17,446 Oh. Yeah. 1089 01:00:17,448 --> 01:00:20,749 Yeah, that, yeah. 1090 01:00:21,117 --> 01:00:22,784 - But, like, if you want to. 1091 01:00:22,786 --> 01:00:25,487 - Yes! Oh, my gosh, please! - Yes, yes, are you serious? 1092 01:00:25,489 --> 01:00:26,955 I want to go out and drink. 1093 01:00:26,957 --> 01:00:28,123 Oh, I might have to fire you first, though. 1094 01:00:28,125 --> 01:00:29,625 - Huh? - I'm kidding, I won't. 1095 01:00:29,627 --> 01:00:31,460 I'm kidding. But anyway, I don't know. 1096 01:00:31,462 --> 01:00:33,528 So. 1097 01:00:33,530 --> 01:00:34,930 Wow. Okay. 1098 01:00:34,932 --> 01:00:37,933 Yes. 1099 01:00:41,704 --> 01:00:44,306 - Yo, Curtis? 1100 01:00:44,308 --> 01:00:46,541 Knock, knock. 1101 01:00:46,543 --> 01:00:50,045 You would not believe the job i just got. 1102 01:00:52,148 --> 01:00:55,450 Curtis? 1103 01:00:57,120 --> 01:00:58,687 Curtis? 1104 01:00:58,689 --> 01:01:01,289 - Natalie Simmons is dead. 1105 01:01:02,692 --> 01:01:03,825 - Wait. 1106 01:01:03,827 --> 01:01:06,061 Wait, high school Natalie Simmons? 1107 01:01:06,063 --> 01:01:09,064 The cheerleader with the wonky Isabella rossellini teeth? 1108 01:01:09,066 --> 01:01:12,134 - She was eaten by a bear. 1109 01:01:12,136 --> 01:01:14,836 - Natalie Simmons was eaten by a bear? 1110 01:01:14,838 --> 01:01:17,305 - In shoshone national park. 1111 01:01:17,307 --> 01:01:19,174 It's a statistical improbability, 1112 01:01:19,176 --> 01:01:23,478 yet Natalie Simmons was eaten by a bear. 1113 01:01:23,480 --> 01:01:25,847 - Wow. 1114 01:01:25,849 --> 01:01:29,017 Shit, I really liked her. I liked her teeth. 1115 01:01:29,019 --> 01:01:32,888 - She was right next to Allison in the yearbook. 1116 01:01:32,890 --> 01:01:35,157 - That's a strange coincidence. 1117 01:01:35,159 --> 01:01:38,360 - Death is working its way outward from the "s's," 1118 01:01:38,362 --> 01:01:41,697 and eventually, it's going to get us all. 1119 01:01:41,699 --> 01:01:45,267 You just never know when a bear is gonna pop out and eat you. 1120 01:01:46,602 --> 01:01:49,204 - You could avoid going to places where bears are. 1121 01:01:49,206 --> 01:01:51,173 - The proverbial bear. 1122 01:01:51,175 --> 01:01:55,844 Eaten by the proverbial bear! 1123 01:01:58,182 --> 01:02:00,415 I missed you, too. 1124 01:02:05,221 --> 01:02:08,857 I wonder what Stephanie's up to right now. 1125 01:02:10,226 --> 01:02:12,094 - When's the last time you talked to her? 1126 01:02:12,096 --> 01:02:14,896 - When we saw her at the bar. 1127 01:02:14,898 --> 01:02:16,932 I befouled it, man. 1128 01:02:16,934 --> 01:02:18,366 I totally befouled it. 1129 01:02:18,368 --> 01:02:22,671 - She's probably at home, wondering about you. 1130 01:02:23,439 --> 01:02:25,741 - See these new rossignol super 7s? 1131 01:02:25,743 --> 01:02:28,910 Supposed to cut powder like butter. 1132 01:02:28,912 --> 01:02:31,747 - You're still planning on mount hood? 1133 01:02:31,749 --> 01:02:35,083 It's the only thing i have left to look forward to. 1134 01:02:35,085 --> 01:02:37,986 So... Uh... 1135 01:02:37,988 --> 01:02:41,189 - Unh-unh. No. 1136 01:02:44,794 --> 01:02:50,465 I'll miss you, Natalie Simmons. 1137 01:02:52,935 --> 01:02:55,237 - Yes. - Come on. 1138 01:02:55,239 --> 01:02:58,140 - Ooh. God. - See? 1139 01:02:58,142 --> 01:03:00,142 - Jesus. 1140 01:03:00,144 --> 01:03:03,278 - We're gonna have so much fun. - So much. All the fun. 1141 01:03:03,280 --> 01:03:06,181 - Can dress each other up. - Dress up each other? 1142 01:03:07,818 --> 01:03:10,852 We should probably get some help though, because... 1143 01:03:10,854 --> 01:03:12,087 - Hey, dude. 1144 01:03:16,794 --> 01:03:19,261 - Yes. Hello, I can help you. - Can I help you? 1145 01:03:19,263 --> 01:03:22,564 - Um, we were looking to upgrade her vibrator. 1146 01:03:25,768 --> 01:03:27,803 - She currently owns a vibrator. 1147 01:03:27,805 --> 01:03:30,005 Um, do you know, like, what size or do you know what kind? 1148 01:03:30,007 --> 01:03:31,473 - It's a little one. 1149 01:03:31,475 --> 01:03:35,777 It makes like a noise like... Mee! Mee! 1150 01:03:35,779 --> 01:03:37,312 - Right, and it's just not quite getting the job done, right? 1151 01:03:37,314 --> 01:03:39,314 Meee! Meee! 1152 01:03:39,316 --> 01:03:42,284 Isn't quite doing it. And you need this device? 1153 01:03:42,286 --> 01:03:43,985 You can't bring her to completion on your own? 1154 01:03:43,987 --> 01:03:45,620 - Oh, no, it's like a new addition. 1155 01:03:45,622 --> 01:03:46,988 Like, we're... 1156 01:03:46,990 --> 01:03:48,356 When she likes to go down. 1157 01:03:48,358 --> 01:03:50,392 Down... Down there. 1158 01:03:50,394 --> 01:03:53,595 - She... she goes down for you? 1159 01:03:54,831 --> 01:03:56,631 - Right, like a... like a blowie. 1160 01:03:56,633 --> 01:03:58,166 - Oh. 1161 01:03:58,168 --> 01:04:00,168 - So you got... - so you got one that goes "meee!" 1162 01:04:00,170 --> 01:04:03,004 And you want to go, like "rah!" Or "errr!" 1163 01:04:03,006 --> 01:04:06,575 While she's... Performing. 1164 01:04:06,577 --> 01:04:08,176 - Yes. - Let me ask you something. 1165 01:04:08,178 --> 01:04:09,578 How long have you two been together? 1166 01:04:09,580 --> 01:04:11,847 - Not important. - Eight years. 1167 01:04:11,849 --> 01:04:15,350 - Eight years. 1168 01:04:15,352 --> 01:04:17,686 - Wow! - We recently just took a break, 1169 01:04:17,688 --> 01:04:19,354 and i-i think it really strengthened us. 1170 01:04:19,356 --> 01:04:21,523 - Yeah, made me realize what's important. 1171 01:04:21,525 --> 01:04:25,360 Which is why we are here trying out some fun new toys. 1172 01:04:25,362 --> 01:04:28,330 Anyways, when you have someone like her, you gotta... 1173 01:04:28,332 --> 01:04:30,398 - You gotta fight for it. - Absolutely. 1174 01:04:30,400 --> 01:04:32,200 But now you're having trouble sexually satisfying each other, 1175 01:04:32,202 --> 01:04:33,668 so you're here buying a little help. 1176 01:04:33,670 --> 01:04:36,104 Okay, let's see what we can do. Follow me. 1177 01:04:36,106 --> 01:04:38,206 Okay, so I'm guessing from your description 1178 01:04:38,208 --> 01:04:40,275 that this is the bad boy she had before. 1179 01:04:40,277 --> 01:04:42,043 - Wow, yeah, man, that's it. 1180 01:04:42,045 --> 01:04:44,212 - Okay, so let me direct your attention to this bad boy. 1181 01:04:44,214 --> 01:04:47,215 It has all the latest in dildonic technology. 1182 01:04:47,217 --> 01:04:49,384 Variable speeds, you can go from meee!, 1183 01:04:49,386 --> 01:04:51,519 to rah!, to dugga-dugga-dugga-dugga, 1184 01:04:51,521 --> 01:04:54,689 depending on your... excuse me, her desire for stimulation. 1185 01:04:54,691 --> 01:04:57,959 - Uh... I don't know. 1186 01:04:57,961 --> 01:04:59,728 Babe, I don't know. What do you think? 1187 01:04:59,730 --> 01:05:01,696 It's your orgasm. 1188 01:05:02,765 --> 01:05:05,867 What do you think? 1189 01:05:07,436 --> 01:05:09,571 - I think while you and the guy from "police academy" decide 1190 01:05:09,573 --> 01:05:12,107 which sound effect works best on my clitoris, 1191 01:05:12,109 --> 01:05:14,242 I'm gonna go across the street to chipotle, 1192 01:05:14,244 --> 01:05:17,679 hope that they have alcohol, and go get drunk in my car. 1193 01:05:22,318 --> 01:05:23,785 - "Police academy"? 1194 01:05:23,787 --> 01:05:25,453 - Why don't I show you a couple other things 1195 01:05:25,455 --> 01:05:27,389 I think she might like. Pretty sure I know her type. 1196 01:05:27,391 --> 01:05:29,591 Let's start with some handcuffs. 1197 01:05:29,593 --> 01:05:31,660 - All right, all right. 1198 01:05:33,796 --> 01:05:35,597 - You give him blow jobs? - Hello! 1199 01:05:35,599 --> 01:05:37,465 - Ha! You give him blowies? - I thought you don't do that. 1200 01:05:37,467 --> 01:05:40,936 - I don't. It was something special that I did with him. 1201 01:05:40,938 --> 01:05:42,971 - Do you even have lockjaw? 1202 01:05:42,973 --> 01:05:44,439 - That's what made it special. 1203 01:05:44,441 --> 01:05:48,109 I suffered for his pleasure. 1204 01:05:48,111 --> 01:05:51,479 - Oh, god! - It was personal! 1205 01:05:51,481 --> 01:05:54,115 I don't know what you want me to say. 1206 01:05:54,117 --> 01:05:57,118 - I miss you. - It's hard to miss someone 1207 01:05:57,120 --> 01:06:00,588 when you're busy living in the moment. 1208 01:06:00,590 --> 01:06:02,424 Sorry. 1209 01:06:02,426 --> 01:06:04,092 I was trying to be somebody I'm not. 1210 01:06:04,094 --> 01:06:05,460 I like being in a relationship. 1211 01:06:05,462 --> 01:06:08,697 I like being in something that's defined. 1212 01:06:08,699 --> 01:06:12,000 - I'm... I'm ready for that now. 1213 01:06:12,935 --> 01:06:15,270 Let's do it. Let's do it, I'm ready. Okay? 1214 01:06:15,272 --> 01:06:18,506 - It's so funny how you feel this way after I leave. 1215 01:06:22,445 --> 01:06:25,213 - Sometimes you have to have something and lose it 1216 01:06:25,215 --> 01:06:28,316 in order to understand why you want or need it. 1217 01:06:28,318 --> 01:06:31,119 - And that's how I feel about Josh. 1218 01:06:33,656 --> 01:06:36,024 - Please, just give this another chance. 1219 01:06:36,026 --> 01:06:38,026 I know we have something, okay, 1220 01:06:38,028 --> 01:06:41,663 and you know we have something. 1221 01:06:41,665 --> 01:06:43,331 Please, just give this another chance. 1222 01:06:43,333 --> 01:06:45,166 I- i-i this is gonna be a clean start, okay? 1223 01:06:45,168 --> 01:06:47,168 Let's just... let's just do... I'll change the... 1224 01:06:47,170 --> 01:06:49,237 I'll change the relationship status. I'll accept it. 1225 01:06:49,239 --> 01:06:51,673 We'll... let's do it. Let's do it your way. 1226 01:06:51,675 --> 01:06:54,075 - Jefferson... 1227 01:06:54,077 --> 01:06:56,511 It's over. 1228 01:06:56,513 --> 01:06:58,213 - Stop it! 1229 01:06:58,215 --> 01:06:59,848 Don't say it's over. 1230 01:06:59,850 --> 01:07:02,083 I am here, and I'm asking you for another chance. 1231 01:07:02,085 --> 01:07:04,686 - This does not have to be over. - Jefferson! 1232 01:07:04,688 --> 01:07:06,755 - This can be a clean start. - No, this can... 1233 01:07:06,757 --> 01:07:09,591 - it's over. - No, let's... 1234 01:07:17,033 --> 01:07:18,967 I love you. 1235 01:07:46,796 --> 01:07:48,963 - Okay. 1236 01:07:51,601 --> 01:07:53,568 - Bye. 1237 01:08:08,919 --> 01:08:10,819 Buddy, hello? 1238 01:08:10,821 --> 01:08:14,456 - These Tibetan monks spend 12 painstaking months 1239 01:08:14,458 --> 01:08:16,925 creating these mandalas with colored sand, 1240 01:08:16,927 --> 01:08:20,995 and I mean one grain at time. 1241 01:08:20,997 --> 01:08:25,100 The lama comes, and he inspects each mandala, 1242 01:08:25,102 --> 01:08:27,102 and he gives his holy nod of approval. 1243 01:08:27,104 --> 01:08:29,737 And then he whisks the sand away, 1244 01:08:29,739 --> 01:08:33,341 just brushes it with a graceful of his hand, 1245 01:08:33,343 --> 01:08:36,811 leaving behind just a smudge of nothingness. 1246 01:08:43,453 --> 01:08:46,921 - Somebody I know was eaten by a bear. 1247 01:08:46,923 --> 01:08:48,790 I'm working at a whack shack, 1248 01:08:48,792 --> 01:08:50,825 and I irrevocably fucked up the one relationship 1249 01:08:50,827 --> 01:08:53,962 I had in my life that actually mattered, 1250 01:08:53,964 --> 01:08:55,430 and you're talking to me 1251 01:08:55,432 --> 01:08:59,000 about the impermanence of sand mandalas? 1252 01:08:59,002 --> 01:09:02,537 - Hey, it's not about the mandalas themselves, 1253 01:09:02,539 --> 01:09:04,873 - it's about... - i know what it's about. 1254 01:09:04,875 --> 01:09:06,708 You're ridiculous. 1255 01:09:06,710 --> 01:09:09,144 You're 50 years old, you live on a boat that you don't own. 1256 01:09:09,146 --> 01:09:11,212 - I know it's an unbelievable life. 1257 01:09:11,214 --> 01:09:14,549 - Unbelievably sad! 1258 01:09:14,551 --> 01:09:17,552 You just gave up, dad. 1259 01:09:18,454 --> 01:09:19,621 - Oh, wow. 1260 01:09:19,623 --> 01:09:20,855 Okay, Jeffy, I get it. 1261 01:09:20,857 --> 01:09:22,323 You know, you have your perspective, 1262 01:09:22,325 --> 01:09:25,860 but I'm over here with mine, and it's cool. 1263 01:09:25,862 --> 01:09:27,729 No one's right, no one's wrong. 1264 01:09:27,731 --> 01:09:30,665 - No, dad, you... Have to... 1265 01:09:30,667 --> 01:09:33,835 Always wrap everything up in some new-age psycho-babble 1266 01:09:33,837 --> 01:09:35,303 self-help doublespeak that no one understands, 1267 01:09:35,305 --> 01:09:38,239 including yourself. 1268 01:09:38,241 --> 01:09:40,808 - I am that. - See?! 1269 01:09:40,810 --> 01:09:43,511 You always say that! "I am that." What is that? 1270 01:09:43,513 --> 01:09:45,547 I- i-it's like y-you think you're empathizing, 1271 01:09:45,549 --> 01:09:47,549 but really what you're doing is invalidating 1272 01:09:47,551 --> 01:09:50,018 anybody's sense of self. 1273 01:09:50,020 --> 01:09:52,253 It's maddening. I'm mad. 1274 01:09:52,255 --> 01:09:54,656 You're fucking high, as usual. 1275 01:09:56,859 --> 01:09:59,227 - I am that. 1276 01:10:05,201 --> 01:10:07,502 - Strange that I feel completely adrift 1277 01:10:07,504 --> 01:10:09,103 in every aspect of my life. 1278 01:10:09,105 --> 01:10:12,440 - Man, you set me up for that one. 1279 01:10:12,442 --> 01:10:15,843 Jeffy, where you going? 1280 01:10:15,845 --> 01:10:18,246 - To not be you. 1281 01:12:07,189 --> 01:12:09,724 - Good night, pappy. 1282 01:12:29,345 --> 01:12:32,547 - Oh, my goodness. 1283 01:12:40,189 --> 01:12:42,824 - I can't believe you're missing my debut. 1284 01:12:42,826 --> 01:12:45,360 - Sorry, man, I just can't go if Stephanie's gonna be there. 1285 01:12:45,362 --> 01:12:47,362 Why would you invite her? 1286 01:12:47,364 --> 01:12:50,698 - I just sent out a mass invite to everyone I know. 1287 01:12:50,700 --> 01:12:53,668 Plus, I thought you guys might get back together, 1288 01:12:53,670 --> 01:12:56,537 so I might have sent her a special e-mail 1289 01:12:56,539 --> 01:12:58,740 asking her to come. 1290 01:12:58,742 --> 01:13:01,442 - Curtis, do me a favor and just don't ever try and help, okay? 1291 01:13:01,444 --> 01:13:03,544 - Don't you think that she's going in hopes 1292 01:13:03,546 --> 01:13:04,846 that you might be there? 1293 01:13:04,848 --> 01:13:06,247 - No, I think she's coming 1294 01:13:06,249 --> 01:13:07,548 because she's a completely decent person 1295 01:13:07,550 --> 01:13:09,050 who wants to support you. 1296 01:13:09,052 --> 01:13:10,918 That's fine, I'll just come to the next one. 1297 01:13:10,920 --> 01:13:12,687 - Mmm. 1298 01:13:12,689 --> 01:13:14,355 One and done, my friend. 1299 01:13:14,357 --> 01:13:16,691 My parents are cutting me off. 1300 01:13:16,693 --> 01:13:19,560 I have to get a real job. 1301 01:13:19,562 --> 01:13:22,096 They were pretty pissed when they found out 1302 01:13:22,098 --> 01:13:26,601 that I was spending my money on dance classes. 1303 01:13:26,603 --> 01:13:29,771 - What about having the soul of an artist and all that? 1304 01:13:29,773 --> 01:13:31,439 - It's cool. 1305 01:13:31,441 --> 01:13:33,274 It's time to grow up. 1306 01:13:33,276 --> 01:13:36,577 Besides, dance classes are kind of silly anyway. 1307 01:13:57,833 --> 01:14:00,168 - Schmancy! 1308 01:14:00,170 --> 01:14:02,637 How can you afford this on what we're paying you? 1309 01:14:02,639 --> 01:14:05,940 - Well, I was actually kind of hoping we'd go Dutch. 1310 01:14:05,942 --> 01:14:07,842 - You're funny. 1311 01:14:07,844 --> 01:14:10,411 That was the first thing i noticed about you. 1312 01:14:10,413 --> 01:14:13,247 You're really... Funny. 1313 01:14:13,249 --> 01:14:16,250 - Ha. I... Was actually only half-joking... 1314 01:14:16,252 --> 01:14:18,319 Dutch joking, if you will. 1315 01:14:26,495 --> 01:14:29,597 Well, what was the first thing you noticed about me? 1316 01:14:31,667 --> 01:14:33,201 - Your tits. 1317 01:15:00,829 --> 01:15:02,230 Are you okay? 1318 01:15:05,168 --> 01:15:07,301 - I'm... I'm sorry. 1319 01:15:07,303 --> 01:15:09,737 I'm sorry. 1320 01:15:09,739 --> 01:15:14,509 Just guys never take me out on, like, a real date, you know, 1321 01:15:14,511 --> 01:15:20,381 and, I mean, I'm just... I... 1322 01:15:20,383 --> 01:15:23,084 thank you. 1323 01:15:23,086 --> 01:15:26,387 Thank you. 1324 01:15:26,389 --> 01:15:29,590 - Yeah, yeah, no problem. 1325 01:15:32,828 --> 01:15:36,397 - Shit, fuck, motherfucker! 1326 01:15:40,169 --> 01:15:43,271 - All right! 1327 01:15:43,273 --> 01:15:45,006 All right, yeah, man. Dig it. 1328 01:15:45,008 --> 01:15:47,942 Let's keep it going for x Javier, huh? 1329 01:15:47,944 --> 01:15:50,444 You guys are in for a real treat tonight. 1330 01:15:50,446 --> 01:15:54,382 We've got a first-timer here on our open-Mike stage... 1331 01:15:54,384 --> 01:15:57,552 Curtis ashante! 1332 01:16:00,289 --> 01:16:02,456 - Thank you. 1333 01:16:05,193 --> 01:16:07,595 Hi, everybody. 1334 01:16:07,597 --> 01:16:14,101 This is my movement poem called "eaten by the proverbial bear." 1335 01:16:19,942 --> 01:16:21,909 - So do you want to make out or something? 1336 01:16:21,911 --> 01:16:23,210 - Mmm. 1337 01:16:23,212 --> 01:16:25,580 I kind of do and I kind of don't. 1338 01:16:25,582 --> 01:16:27,448 - No pressure. 1339 01:16:27,450 --> 01:16:31,252 Just so you know, I'm... I'm open to it. 1340 01:16:31,254 --> 01:16:32,820 - My best friend's having a show right now 1341 01:16:32,822 --> 01:16:37,058 and I'm missing it because there's this girl, and... 1342 01:16:37,060 --> 01:16:38,793 We were friends, and we were more than friends, 1343 01:16:38,795 --> 01:16:41,796 and anyway, she's going, so I'm not. 1344 01:16:41,798 --> 01:16:44,632 - You're missing your best friend's show because of a girl? 1345 01:16:44,634 --> 01:16:46,167 - Yeah. 1346 01:16:46,169 --> 01:16:47,568 - That's so shitty. 1347 01:16:47,570 --> 01:16:49,670 - I know. 1348 01:16:49,672 --> 01:16:51,606 - But, I mean, if we're not gonna make out, 1349 01:16:51,608 --> 01:16:54,408 I mean, what do you want to do, because I made up this new rule, 1350 01:16:54,410 --> 01:16:56,477 no sex before kissing first. 1351 01:16:56,479 --> 01:16:58,813 - Fuck, what am I doing? - That's what I was saying! 1352 01:16:58,815 --> 01:17:01,015 That's why I made up this new rule. 1353 01:17:01,017 --> 01:17:03,117 - You wouldn't want to go see my friend's solo dance performance 1354 01:17:03,119 --> 01:17:05,586 that he choreographed himself at a local dive bar, would you? 1355 01:17:05,588 --> 01:17:07,288 - Yeah. - Really? 1356 01:17:07,290 --> 01:17:09,090 - Yeah. - Thank you. 1357 01:17:09,092 --> 01:17:12,126 - Mm-hmm. And, I mean, if you want to make out after, I can. 1358 01:17:12,128 --> 01:17:14,528 I pretty much make out with anybody. 1359 01:17:36,119 --> 01:17:37,718 - I'm gonna go to the bathroom real quick, okay? 1360 01:19:39,274 --> 01:19:41,275 - Your local ski report is brought to you 1361 01:19:41,277 --> 01:19:43,244 by big sky tires. 1362 01:19:43,246 --> 01:19:46,413 - On mount hood, no new snow in the last 24 hours. 1363 01:19:46,415 --> 01:19:47,848 Timberline is operating seven chairs 1364 01:19:47,850 --> 01:19:49,316 with a 36-inch base. 1365 01:19:49,318 --> 01:19:51,185 Meadows is reporting a 32-inch base 1366 01:19:51,187 --> 01:19:53,120 with 9 of the 14 lifts running. 1367 01:19:53,122 --> 01:19:55,022 And with a 28-inch base, 1368 01:19:55,024 --> 01:19:56,757 skibowl has seven of their chairs making the trip 1369 01:19:56,759 --> 01:19:58,659 for the first time this season. 1370 01:19:58,661 --> 01:20:00,694 The weather will be clear and warm with snow-free roads 1371 01:20:00,696 --> 01:20:02,363 all the way up to the lodges. 1372 01:20:02,365 --> 01:20:03,998 So grab a friend and head up to the mountain 1373 01:20:04,000 --> 01:20:05,966 for a great day of skiing. 1374 01:20:05,968 --> 01:20:08,269 - And, of course, as always, when you make that trip, 1375 01:20:08,271 --> 01:20:10,437 make sure you make it on big sky tires, 1376 01:20:10,439 --> 01:20:13,007 the all-weather tire that gives you peace of mind 1377 01:20:13,009 --> 01:20:14,775 every time you drive. 1378 01:20:55,684 --> 01:20:57,651 - Yeah, I mean, i do like the beach a lot. 1379 01:20:57,653 --> 01:21:01,088 I like living near the water's always one of those things 1380 01:21:01,090 --> 01:21:02,890 that is like a must. 1381 01:21:02,892 --> 01:21:06,594 You know, that's why, you know, I couldn't, like... 1382 01:21:06,596 --> 01:21:09,029 - Hey. - Hey. 1383 01:21:09,031 --> 01:21:13,100 - What are you doing back? - I came here to give you this. 1384 01:21:14,703 --> 01:21:16,871 - What is this? - It's dance classes. 1385 01:21:16,873 --> 01:21:19,039 Don't say anything, just take it. 1386 01:21:19,041 --> 01:21:22,209 - You are my friend. 1387 01:21:22,211 --> 01:21:23,377 - Oh! Okay. 1388 01:21:23,379 --> 01:21:27,047 I...I am that. 1389 01:21:27,049 --> 01:21:28,415 - Oh, where are my manners? 1390 01:21:28,417 --> 01:21:30,918 This is my friend, Chloe, from Canada. 1391 01:21:30,920 --> 01:21:33,554 - Chloe from Canada. 1392 01:21:33,556 --> 01:21:37,124 - And this is my friend, Gloria. 1393 01:21:37,126 --> 01:21:39,526 - Hi. Sorry, I was trying to get a drink. 1394 01:21:39,528 --> 01:21:41,128 That bartender hates me. 1395 01:21:41,130 --> 01:21:43,397 - Did you ask him. - Ask me what? 1396 01:21:43,399 --> 01:21:45,366 - Okay, you have to settle this for us. 1397 01:21:45,368 --> 01:21:46,934 They're trying to say that Godzilla is a female, 1398 01:21:46,936 --> 01:21:49,436 - but there's no way. - There's totally a way. 1399 01:21:49,438 --> 01:21:52,072 - Okay, it has a kid in "Godzilla's revenge," but... 1400 01:21:52,074 --> 01:21:54,275 - that hardly qualifies as a movie. 1401 01:21:54,277 --> 01:21:56,710 - Exactly. Thank you. 1402 01:21:59,881 --> 01:22:02,049 - Ha. 1403 01:22:02,051 --> 01:22:04,485 - Let me, uh, buy you a drink. - Yeah. 1404 01:22:04,487 --> 01:22:08,055 - Yeah. Um, okay, question, Godzilla versus king Kong? 1405 01:22:08,057 --> 01:22:09,757 - King Kong. 1406 01:22:09,759 --> 01:22:11,292 - Yes!