1 00:00:24,617 --> 00:00:25,450 I'm Janie. 2 00:00:25,491 --> 00:00:28,030 This is me beating the shit out of my slutty roommate. 3 00:00:33,609 --> 00:00:34,859 I'm Dee. 4 00:00:34,940 --> 00:00:37,021 I bet you are wondering why this crazy bitch 5 00:00:37,104 --> 00:00:38,728 is hitting my face. 6 00:00:39,602 --> 00:00:41,392 First, let's rewind a bit. 7 00:00:57,585 --> 00:00:59,875 8 00:01:05,036 --> 00:01:07,034 9 00:01:14,026 --> 00:01:15,234 10 00:03:48,416 --> 00:03:51,121 Jane Garber? Dr. Hoffman will see you now. 11 00:03:51,202 --> 00:03:52,452 Thank you. 12 00:03:52,535 --> 00:03:53,910 Here. 13 00:03:56,656 --> 00:03:59,405 Your transcripts are virtually flawless. 14 00:04:00,818 --> 00:04:02,653 Semester brought in Ghana. 15 00:04:02,735 --> 00:04:04,360 Most commendable. 16 00:04:04,442 --> 00:04:07,564 Volunteering from PETA since the age of... 17 00:04:07,647 --> 00:04:08,772 thirteen? 18 00:04:08,854 --> 00:04:11,144 You can't really just get a scholarship to Stansbury 19 00:04:11,226 --> 00:04:12,726 just a GPA alone. 20 00:04:12,808 --> 00:04:16,179 All of your students here embodied perfection, 21 00:04:16,262 --> 00:04:19,427 and I'm here to tell you that I'm capable of more. 22 00:04:19,510 --> 00:04:21,549 Well, you certainly on the right track, 23 00:04:21,590 --> 00:04:24,172 but let me stop you right there. 24 00:04:24,255 --> 00:04:27,211 I have many perspective students to meet today 25 00:04:27,252 --> 00:04:29,957 and only a handful of scholarships to sign. 26 00:04:30,039 --> 00:04:33,537 So, in order to get the best sense of who you are 27 00:04:33,578 --> 00:04:36,494 and whether you are worthy such a coveted honor, 28 00:04:36,576 --> 00:04:39,697 I'm going to ask you only one question. 29 00:04:40,696 --> 00:04:42,737 What do you believe in? 30 00:04:45,316 --> 00:04:48,397 Spiritually or politically, Sir? 31 00:04:48,438 --> 00:04:52,354 I mean, what do you believe in. 32 00:04:52,436 --> 00:04:54,642 It is an open ended question. 33 00:04:54,725 --> 00:04:57,474 With no wrong or right answer. 34 00:04:57,556 --> 00:04:59,846 Tell me who you are. 35 00:05:04,880 --> 00:05:06,963 Okay, um.. 36 00:05:10,375 --> 00:05:12,209 I could tell you that 37 00:05:12,249 --> 00:05:15,913 I believe in the foundation of Buddhism, 38 00:05:15,994 --> 00:05:19,825 but I just really like the peaceful message that it embodies. 39 00:05:19,865 --> 00:05:22,114 I could tell you that 40 00:05:22,197 --> 00:05:24,696 I believe in the healing power of music. 41 00:05:24,778 --> 00:05:28,399 But that's not really true. 42 00:05:28,481 --> 00:05:32,687 I just like the sound of my violin makes when I press my bow to it. 43 00:05:32,769 --> 00:05:36,641 I believe genuine hard work really pays off 44 00:05:36,723 --> 00:05:40,222 and that you can't actually accomplished anything in this world 45 00:05:40,263 --> 00:05:42,345 without passion. 46 00:05:42,428 --> 00:05:44,968 You need to travel really far 47 00:05:45,050 --> 00:05:47,215 and a lot, as often as possible. 48 00:05:47,256 --> 00:05:49,755 It's fuel to your soul. 49 00:05:49,796 --> 00:05:53,582 Clichés statement like the ones I just said 50 00:05:53,665 --> 00:05:56,872 are clichés because they founded in truth, 51 00:05:56,913 --> 00:05:59,827 and whoever came up with the word 'cliché' 52 00:05:59,910 --> 00:06:02,574 was just too lazy to put those statement to the tasks. 53 00:06:02,657 --> 00:06:05,489 Physical beauty, and money, confidence, 54 00:06:05,571 --> 00:06:06,944 That will get you really far, 55 00:06:07,027 --> 00:06:10,441 but that won't actually fill the hole in your heart. 56 00:06:10,482 --> 00:06:12,981 And I think a great way to build character is 57 00:06:13,063 --> 00:06:14,522 to meet characters. 58 00:06:16,226 --> 00:06:18,225 I belong at Stansbury. 59 00:06:18,266 --> 00:06:20,099 It is deeply rooted in me, 60 00:06:20,180 --> 00:06:23,512 and it's something I've felt strongly about a really long time. 61 00:06:23,594 --> 00:06:26,549 And I know that sounds extremely cliché, but... 62 00:06:28,091 --> 00:06:29,923 I think that's what I believe in. 63 00:06:31,129 --> 00:06:32,420 Clichés. 64 00:06:36,207 --> 00:06:37,749 Thank you. Have a good day. 65 00:07:33,442 --> 00:07:35,316 Hey, Dee. 66 00:07:36,564 --> 00:07:38,813 - Hi. - How's the modeling going? 67 00:07:38,894 --> 00:07:40,811 Great. 68 00:07:40,893 --> 00:07:43,474 - It's awesome. - Yeah. 69 00:07:45,138 --> 00:07:46,305 Bye. 70 00:08:12,155 --> 00:08:14,986 Yes. 71 00:08:35,464 --> 00:08:37,796 72 00:08:58,775 --> 00:09:02,064 73 00:09:04,061 --> 00:09:05,186 Shit. 74 00:09:05,268 --> 00:09:08,556 It's my roommate. Get off. 75 00:09:10,596 --> 00:09:14,094 I thought you were at the massage place all day. 76 00:09:14,176 --> 00:09:16,136 - Well... - I'll text you about tonight. 77 00:09:16,215 --> 00:09:18,589 - Sweet. - That's like the third time this week. 78 00:09:18,671 --> 00:09:21,127 - Seriously? - I know. I know. I'm so sorry. 79 00:09:21,210 --> 00:09:23,500 I will make it up to you. He's a club promoter 80 00:09:23,583 --> 00:09:26,463 during Cinco de Mayo theme rage in the Social tonight. 81 00:09:26,539 --> 00:09:28,038 You wanna come with? 82 00:09:29,369 --> 00:09:31,284 - No thanks. - Really? 83 00:09:31,325 --> 00:09:33,532 I thought you were like Latin American. 84 00:09:33,614 --> 00:09:36,570 No, I said I was part Native American. 85 00:09:36,610 --> 00:09:40,316 Champagne? Does this mean what I think it's means? 86 00:09:40,398 --> 00:09:43,107 - Actually... - I look like 87 00:09:43,190 --> 00:09:45,271 the Bukkake Bride of Frankenstein. 88 00:09:45,353 --> 00:09:47,769 Hold that thought real quick play for a sec. 89 00:09:47,810 --> 00:09:48,976 Two minutes. 90 00:09:50,557 --> 00:09:53,222 Can't wait to share the news! 91 00:10:06,124 --> 00:10:07,624 Gross. 92 00:10:57,822 --> 00:11:00,404 Sorry. I had to moisturize. 93 00:11:00,445 --> 00:11:05,234 Okay, girl, so let's hear about your big interview. 94 00:11:05,316 --> 00:11:07,355 Did you get the full ride to Stanford? 95 00:11:07,437 --> 00:11:10,186 It's Stansbury. 96 00:11:10,268 --> 00:11:11,393 Yeah. 97 00:11:11,433 --> 00:11:14,015 I'm still waiting the official green light, 98 00:11:14,098 --> 00:11:16,928 but the dean of admissions said I should be expecting 99 00:11:17,010 --> 00:11:19,179 a very important phone call around 1 PM. 100 00:11:19,261 --> 00:11:21,551 OMG. How are you like not stressing? 101 00:11:21,633 --> 00:11:24,548 - It's noon thirty. - I am. 102 00:11:24,589 --> 00:11:27,794 I just... there's nothing really I can do about it. 103 00:11:27,876 --> 00:11:30,832 My life is about to change drastically, for better or worse, 104 00:11:30,872 --> 00:11:32,913 - in the next 30 minutes. - For the better. 105 00:11:32,954 --> 00:11:35,744 Definitely for the better. I'm tweeting this. 106 00:11:36,992 --> 00:11:39,949 - Should we have some champagne? - No, not until you know. 107 00:11:40,947 --> 00:11:44,195 How about one of my famous banana peach smoothie in the meantime? 108 00:11:45,817 --> 00:11:49,148 Yeah. That sounds good, as long as it's vegan. 109 00:11:49,230 --> 00:11:51,354 Oh yeah, don't worry. I'll use non-fat milk. 110 00:11:51,437 --> 00:11:53,811 Besides, I'm practically vegan myself. 111 00:11:53,893 --> 00:11:55,058 I don't eat fish. 112 00:11:56,556 --> 00:11:58,888 I seriously can't tell whether you're joking or not. 113 00:12:12,292 --> 00:12:16,496 What did you do in the fridge? 114 00:12:17,536 --> 00:12:19,284 Oh, thanks for noticing. 115 00:12:19,366 --> 00:12:22,406 I couldn't really seem to find a few of my thing yesterday, 116 00:12:22,488 --> 00:12:25,237 so I figure it would be easier if we label to what is who. 117 00:12:25,319 --> 00:12:27,485 I put gold stars on yours, and red stars on mine. 118 00:12:28,608 --> 00:12:31,606 Alright. Well, you can totally 119 00:12:31,688 --> 00:12:33,604 help yourself to any of my food anytime. 120 00:12:33,645 --> 00:12:35,976 Not just my food. Anything of mine, really, 121 00:12:36,058 --> 00:12:37,392 even my clothes. 122 00:12:38,431 --> 00:12:39,556 Thanks. 123 00:12:39,639 --> 00:12:43,137 It's just that soy cheese costs like 9 dollars at Whole Foods. 124 00:12:43,219 --> 00:12:44,717 That was soy? 125 00:12:44,799 --> 00:12:46,341 Gross. 126 00:12:59,120 --> 00:13:01,244 Another one of your fish died. 127 00:13:01,284 --> 00:13:03,075 Oh bummer. 128 00:13:03,116 --> 00:13:04,906 Well, he had a good run. 129 00:13:07,445 --> 00:13:10,692 You really should clean this thing out once in a while. 130 00:13:10,773 --> 00:13:13,772 No need. That's what little sacred fish guys are for. 131 00:13:29,673 --> 00:13:31,922 Do it really seem safe to you 132 00:13:32,002 --> 00:13:34,918 putting this big tank on this tiny table behind the couch? 133 00:13:34,958 --> 00:13:36,208 Yeah. 134 00:13:38,038 --> 00:13:40,620 Kind of makes me nervous. 135 00:13:41,659 --> 00:13:43,117 What doesn't makes you nervous? 136 00:13:43,158 --> 00:13:46,699 I dont know. It's just kind of seems like you don't really care about the fish. 137 00:13:46,781 --> 00:13:48,156 I don't. 138 00:13:48,238 --> 00:13:50,820 It was a gift from Frank, the Mongolian. 139 00:13:50,902 --> 00:13:52,526 I dated him for about 10 minutes. 140 00:13:52,608 --> 00:13:54,025 He owns an aquarium business. 141 00:13:54,107 --> 00:13:57,395 The tank turned out to be a bigger wasted space than he was. 142 00:13:57,477 --> 00:14:00,435 I dont know. I like fishes. I think they're calming. 143 00:14:00,475 --> 00:14:03,057 I mean your snake however, not so much. 144 00:14:03,097 --> 00:14:05,805 Who? My big sexy Fernando? 145 00:14:05,886 --> 00:14:07,053 He's harmless. 146 00:14:07,135 --> 00:14:09,634 Only bite if you got fur and a tail. 147 00:14:09,716 --> 00:14:13,547 I worked with his scaly ass since I've modeling gig for AE in the last summer. 148 00:14:13,587 --> 00:14:16,251 Speaking of which, I haven't fed him for like a month. 149 00:14:18,542 --> 00:14:20,539 - Wait. - What? 150 00:14:20,621 --> 00:14:22,287 What is that for? 151 00:14:22,411 --> 00:14:24,036 Instagram, Facebook, Twitter. 152 00:14:24,118 --> 00:14:26,824 Which reminds me you still haven't accepted 153 00:14:26,907 --> 00:14:29,571 my friend request and you still not following me. 154 00:14:29,654 --> 00:14:32,235 Okay, I hardly even checked that thing, 155 00:14:32,276 --> 00:14:34,194 and I don't have a Twitter. 156 00:14:35,316 --> 00:14:37,399 Cheers. 157 00:14:38,438 --> 00:14:39,730 To your future. 158 00:14:39,811 --> 00:14:41,270 What about your future? 159 00:14:41,310 --> 00:14:45,389 Well, when I find Mr rich, hunk, tall, dark-haired and handsome, 160 00:14:45,429 --> 00:14:47,471 in that order, we can cheers to me. 161 00:14:53,714 --> 00:14:56,295 - It's Joe. - Again? 162 00:14:56,378 --> 00:14:57,711 Don't you dare answer that. 163 00:14:57,793 --> 00:15:00,250 Maybe I can just tell him to stop calling me. 164 00:15:00,332 --> 00:15:03,622 Don't pick up. Trust me. You don't need that creeper in your life. 165 00:15:03,746 --> 00:15:06,078 Let him get one word, and before you know it, 166 00:15:06,119 --> 00:15:08,576 you'll be swapping your violin with his scary flute. 167 00:15:10,364 --> 00:15:12,029 Okay, I pushed 'ignore'. 168 00:15:12,112 --> 00:15:15,401 Good girl. You'll thank me for it one day. 169 00:15:15,442 --> 00:15:18,897 But speaking of violin, I think I should get some practice a little. 170 00:15:18,980 --> 00:15:20,770 Janie, leave your phone. 171 00:15:21,854 --> 00:15:22,937 Pussy! 172 00:15:35,964 --> 00:15:37,047 Good girl. 173 00:15:45,121 --> 00:15:47,579 - Hey, blue jay. - What do you want? 174 00:15:47,618 --> 00:15:49,285 You, back in my life. 175 00:15:49,367 --> 00:15:51,491 Last two weeks felt like two years . 176 00:15:51,574 --> 00:15:53,698 Let me come over and apologize in person. 177 00:15:55,237 --> 00:15:56,571 178 00:15:56,653 --> 00:15:58,692 Joe, I'm gonna have to call you back. 179 00:15:58,774 --> 00:15:59,816 Hey, wait. 180 00:15:59,898 --> 00:16:01,855 Hello? 181 00:16:01,938 --> 00:16:03,312 Hi, this is Janie. 182 00:16:05,350 --> 00:16:06,392 Yes. 183 00:16:08,888 --> 00:16:10,515 Stansbury! 184 00:16:10,597 --> 00:16:12,346 What does it say? 185 00:16:13,553 --> 00:16:15,677 would officially like to offer you 186 00:16:15,759 --> 00:16:19,464 our maximum scholarships available at this time . 187 00:16:19,547 --> 00:16:22,251 This includes half of all tuition, 188 00:16:22,333 --> 00:16:25,416 - pay up to three years - I'm sorry . 189 00:16:25,456 --> 00:16:27,372 Did you said half tuition paid? 190 00:16:27,454 --> 00:16:29,246 I thought it was the maximum. 191 00:16:29,328 --> 00:16:32,242 That is correct, Miss Garber, 192 00:16:32,283 --> 00:16:35,407 but with the recent state budget cuts 193 00:16:35,488 --> 00:16:39,318 we've been forced to endure massive cut back, 194 00:16:39,401 --> 00:16:41,482 especially in the education sector. 195 00:16:41,564 --> 00:16:45,313 Half scholarships are the best we can currently offer, 196 00:16:45,396 --> 00:16:49,475 with a few small exceptions for athletes. 197 00:16:49,557 --> 00:16:51,889 I don't play any sport. 198 00:16:51,971 --> 00:16:53,970 Miss Garber, 199 00:16:54,052 --> 00:16:57,926 This is the best offer we can make. 200 00:16:58,009 --> 00:17:00,840 It's quite an achievement on your part. 201 00:17:00,921 --> 00:17:03,005 That's not good enough. 202 00:17:04,128 --> 00:17:07,750 Miss Garber, I'm not quite sure where you're going with this. 203 00:17:07,790 --> 00:17:10,745 - I can't... - I'm saying thank you, 204 00:17:10,785 --> 00:17:13,034 Mr. Garber. Hoffman. 205 00:17:14,076 --> 00:17:17,240 This is have been the life I've dreamt . I'm super jazzed up about it. 206 00:17:17,322 --> 00:17:20,944 I mean, very excited. I mean, super excited. 207 00:17:22,317 --> 00:17:26,272 Well, I'm very glad to hear that. 208 00:17:26,354 --> 00:17:28,728 Someone from admissions department 209 00:17:28,768 --> 00:17:31,726 will get in touch to you on Friday to go over the financial. 210 00:17:31,766 --> 00:17:34,263 Welcome to Stansbury. 211 00:17:34,346 --> 00:17:36,886 Thank you very much. 212 00:17:36,927 --> 00:17:39,550 - I'm very excited. - Good. 213 00:17:39,591 --> 00:17:41,090 Goodbye. 214 00:17:45,959 --> 00:17:47,211 You're welcome. 215 00:17:52,288 --> 00:17:55,660 I cannot afford to pay half of my tuition. 216 00:17:55,742 --> 00:17:58,948 It's 42,000 dollars a year with three years minimum. 217 00:17:59,029 --> 00:18:01,112 I mean maybe two and a half, if I hassle, 218 00:18:01,195 --> 00:18:04,984 but it's still like 52,500 dollars. 219 00:18:05,066 --> 00:18:07,940 Wow. You're like Batman in Math. 220 00:18:09,770 --> 00:18:11,519 What about that financial aid stuff? 221 00:18:11,601 --> 00:18:13,849 - Everyone uses that. - I know. I did that for undergrad, 222 00:18:13,932 --> 00:18:15,557 but you still to pay back 80% 223 00:18:15,597 --> 00:18:18,262 and I don't want to be in debt for the rest of my life. 224 00:18:18,344 --> 00:18:19,886 Can you apply for grants? 225 00:18:19,968 --> 00:18:23,423 Not enough time. I have to show proof of payment by Friday. 226 00:18:23,463 --> 00:18:26,629 - Can you ask your parents? - Dad is retired mailman. 227 00:18:26,711 --> 00:18:28,251 What about medical testing? 228 00:18:28,333 --> 00:18:29,792 No, they doesn't pay enough. 229 00:18:29,874 --> 00:18:32,872 - Robbing a bank. - That's kinda my last resort. 230 00:18:32,953 --> 00:18:34,578 Penny stock! 231 00:18:36,287 --> 00:18:37,619 Are you serious? 232 00:18:37,701 --> 00:18:39,950 I don't even know what those are. 233 00:18:40,033 --> 00:18:42,114 Sounded smart though, right? 234 00:18:43,819 --> 00:18:46,568 I need brain food. Yeah. 235 00:18:58,097 --> 00:19:00,346 Jesus, girl. You didn't have to waste a star 236 00:19:00,428 --> 00:19:03,384 on every single one of my eggs. 237 00:19:03,508 --> 00:19:05,757 You don't even eat eggs. I eat eggs. 238 00:19:05,839 --> 00:19:07,672 You hate eggs. I love eggs. 239 00:19:07,755 --> 00:19:10,212 Oh my gosh, Dee. 240 00:19:10,294 --> 00:19:12,915 - You're a genius. - I know. 241 00:19:14,163 --> 00:19:15,747 Wait. What? 242 00:19:17,535 --> 00:19:20,824 I can donate my eggs to a couple in need again. 243 00:19:20,906 --> 00:19:24,073 I mean, it's a bitch in a half, but it's also kind of perfect. 244 00:19:24,155 --> 00:19:26,113 For real? 245 00:19:26,153 --> 00:19:29,110 You can get paid like 10 grand if you go through a service, 246 00:19:29,192 --> 00:19:31,107 but sometimes private partners pay more. 247 00:19:31,147 --> 00:19:34,355 Holy guacamole. 248 00:19:34,437 --> 00:19:36,226 - Is it easy? - I mean if you have 249 00:19:36,266 --> 00:19:38,390 a high threshold for pain, yeah. 250 00:19:38,431 --> 00:19:40,930 They like pumped you with whole bunch of hormones for weeks, 251 00:19:41,012 --> 00:19:42,721 until it reaches a really fun part, 252 00:19:42,803 --> 00:19:47,007 they stick a needle inside of you and suck each egg out. 253 00:19:47,090 --> 00:19:48,840 Up into where? 254 00:19:50,170 --> 00:19:51,587 Where do you think? 255 00:19:51,627 --> 00:19:53,918 Up into your pussy? 256 00:19:55,082 --> 00:19:58,747 Yes, into the vaginal region. 257 00:19:58,830 --> 00:20:02,908 Well, I'd say that I have a high pain threshold. 258 00:20:04,114 --> 00:20:05,197 In the vagina? 259 00:20:06,403 --> 00:20:07,653 Yes you do. 260 00:20:07,735 --> 00:20:09,900 Years of practice. 261 00:20:11,606 --> 00:20:14,273 I gotta work on this. 262 00:20:15,313 --> 00:20:17,145 Wait. I wanna help. 263 00:20:24,053 --> 00:20:25,718 264 00:20:25,842 --> 00:20:27,259 265 00:20:39,621 --> 00:20:41,661 266 00:20:41,702 --> 00:20:43,062 267 00:20:51,067 --> 00:20:53,108 268 00:20:56,021 --> 00:20:58,186 269 00:21:00,893 --> 00:21:03,307 I can't find anything for more than 10,000. 270 00:21:04,347 --> 00:21:07,387 I mean, I can do it for more than once if I have to, 271 00:21:07,427 --> 00:21:09,593 it just kind of ruin your body. 272 00:21:09,634 --> 00:21:13,255 Cha-ching! Here's one for 50 large, biatch, 273 00:21:13,337 --> 00:21:17,293 as long as you willing to freeze additional egg for the future use. 274 00:21:20,456 --> 00:21:23,162 Affluent couple aggressively seeking 275 00:21:23,245 --> 00:21:27,532 serious applicants age 21 to 25, 276 00:21:27,615 --> 00:21:30,239 Clear medical history, high IQ. 277 00:21:30,321 --> 00:21:33,278 This is great. How did you find this? 278 00:21:33,319 --> 00:21:34,776 I am a genius. 279 00:21:35,941 --> 00:21:39,021 They want to make a decision by tomorrow. Hold on, I'll call. 280 00:21:45,513 --> 00:21:47,846 Line is busy. 281 00:21:47,969 --> 00:21:50,386 Says here, 282 00:21:50,469 --> 00:21:53,758 Natural blondes only. To match with the mother. 283 00:21:53,841 --> 00:21:55,256 Bummer. 284 00:21:56,628 --> 00:21:58,420 I'm blonde. 285 00:21:58,502 --> 00:22:01,540 It's dirty blond. It's my natural colour. 286 00:22:01,622 --> 00:22:05,038 News flash... 287 00:22:05,120 --> 00:22:08,659 I'm not a natural blonde. Just love this color. 288 00:22:08,741 --> 00:22:10,490 Men love this colour. 289 00:22:10,573 --> 00:22:12,238 You should try it sometimes. 290 00:22:12,279 --> 00:22:15,070 Blonder blonde have way more fun. 291 00:22:15,110 --> 00:22:16,693 I have a lot of fun. 292 00:22:17,732 --> 00:22:19,940 You should tell that to Joe. 293 00:22:25,890 --> 00:22:27,682 You know, 294 00:22:27,764 --> 00:22:30,344 not everybody have the luxury to just playing around 295 00:22:30,427 --> 00:22:32,468 in your little sport clubs during the day 296 00:22:32,551 --> 00:22:33,966 and in the nightclubs at night. 297 00:22:35,006 --> 00:22:37,756 Someone else actually want to make something for her self. 298 00:22:52,197 --> 00:22:53,448 Hi. 299 00:22:53,531 --> 00:22:57,194 Hi. You never call back. 300 00:22:57,277 --> 00:22:59,733 - Look I... - You wanna have dinner at 8:30? 301 00:23:00,773 --> 00:23:02,231 Yeah, it's fine. 302 00:23:02,313 --> 00:23:04,311 I just really can't talk right now, okay? 303 00:23:04,394 --> 00:23:06,269 I'll pick you up at... 304 00:23:06,351 --> 00:23:07,933 I'll pick you up at 8:00. 305 00:23:08,016 --> 00:23:09,181 Okay. 306 00:23:10,514 --> 00:23:11,555 Bye. 307 00:23:26,790 --> 00:23:29,038 - Hello. - Hi. 308 00:23:29,121 --> 00:23:31,911 I'm calling you regards your egg donating ads. 309 00:23:40,649 --> 00:23:42,109 Okay, so good news. 310 00:23:42,149 --> 00:23:44,897 I just got off the phone with the couple rep Olivia, 311 00:23:44,938 --> 00:23:46,770 and normally I would have to go to them, 312 00:23:46,853 --> 00:23:50,391 but since she's not with the agency and we're on short time frame, 313 00:23:50,432 --> 00:23:54,179 They are coming right here, right now, so this place have to be perfect. 314 00:23:54,261 --> 00:23:58,051 - You're cleaning the tank. - Yup. 315 00:23:58,133 --> 00:24:00,257 Thank you. 316 00:24:03,751 --> 00:24:05,793 Is that one of my wall plates? 317 00:24:07,040 --> 00:24:08,747 All of the actual plate are dirty. 318 00:24:08,830 --> 00:24:10,705 You haven't done your dishes in a week. 319 00:24:11,910 --> 00:24:14,244 Okay, these aren't actually for eating. 320 00:24:14,285 --> 00:24:17,115 They are from my travels, and they are really special to me. 321 00:24:17,198 --> 00:24:18,864 I've already told you this. 322 00:24:19,904 --> 00:24:21,153 I've told you this! 323 00:24:21,235 --> 00:24:24,026 This one is from Cambodia, in case you were wondering. 324 00:24:24,108 --> 00:24:25,899 I wasn't. 325 00:25:32,914 --> 00:25:35,746 Hi! You must be Miss Morgan. Please, come in. 326 00:25:35,786 --> 00:25:37,786 How are you? 327 00:25:39,157 --> 00:25:41,240 I am Jane Garber. 328 00:25:41,280 --> 00:25:44,527 - Very nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you, Miss Garber. 329 00:25:44,610 --> 00:25:46,734 Very... 330 00:25:47,940 --> 00:25:49,356 warm. 331 00:25:49,438 --> 00:25:52,855 I can open a window if you like. 332 00:25:52,937 --> 00:25:55,268 No, warm as in cozy. 333 00:25:55,351 --> 00:25:57,516 You have fish. 334 00:25:58,763 --> 00:26:02,179 Yes, I love animals. 335 00:26:05,131 --> 00:26:08,089 There are only three. Any reason for that? 336 00:26:08,129 --> 00:26:10,003 They are my roommate. 337 00:26:10,086 --> 00:26:13,249 If it were up to me, I would have a whole of school of them in there. 338 00:26:14,831 --> 00:26:17,246 They are very calming, aren't they? 339 00:26:20,117 --> 00:26:22,116 Yes. Very. 340 00:26:22,157 --> 00:26:25,530 But I feel the best representation of me 341 00:26:25,612 --> 00:26:30,025 It's in my bedroom, and I have a puppy in there. 342 00:26:30,107 --> 00:26:31,898 Please, Miss Morgan. 343 00:26:31,979 --> 00:26:33,853 This way. 344 00:26:35,435 --> 00:26:37,558 Thank you. 345 00:26:38,806 --> 00:26:40,224 Right through here. 346 00:26:41,971 --> 00:26:45,178 You mentioned on the phone that you have donated eggs before. 347 00:26:45,260 --> 00:26:49,215 I have. It's really important for me to help those less fortunate. 348 00:26:49,298 --> 00:26:51,878 That's nice to hear. 349 00:26:51,959 --> 00:26:54,334 But nobody who has a winter home in Aspen 350 00:26:54,416 --> 00:26:57,748 in a summer home in Naples should be described as 'less fortunate'. 351 00:26:57,789 --> 00:27:00,745 Yeah. 352 00:27:12,400 --> 00:27:14,357 Yes, I usually have an assistant with me, 353 00:27:14,439 --> 00:27:16,561 but he's off to Palm Springs. 354 00:27:16,602 --> 00:27:17,935 Whatever. 355 00:27:19,849 --> 00:27:22,764 I think it's a binge of methamphetamine if you ask me. 356 00:27:22,804 --> 00:27:25,511 Very hard to find help with my job. 357 00:27:25,593 --> 00:27:27,217 A lot of responsibility. 358 00:27:27,299 --> 00:27:31,423 Spoiled brats and Christmas presents with no personal meaning. 359 00:27:31,506 --> 00:27:33,463 Do you want me to help you? 360 00:27:33,504 --> 00:27:36,127 I guess I didn't get that job at Best Buy for a reason. 361 00:27:36,209 --> 00:27:38,333 No, you're doing fine. 362 00:27:38,415 --> 00:27:41,579 Okay. 363 00:27:41,660 --> 00:27:44,119 You look gorgeous in this light. 364 00:27:44,201 --> 00:27:46,158 Where'd you get those cheekbones? 365 00:27:46,241 --> 00:27:48,073 Actually, I'm eighth Navajo. 366 00:27:48,114 --> 00:27:51,195 Oh, I did not know that. That's interesting. 367 00:27:51,277 --> 00:27:54,524 Very American. I like that. Like that commercial with the tear. 368 00:27:54,607 --> 00:27:55,982 Good. Good. 369 00:27:56,064 --> 00:27:59,603 Might wanna...a lil bit. Yeah. 370 00:27:59,643 --> 00:28:01,727 Since you've been through this before... 371 00:28:01,809 --> 00:28:04,722 - Is that? Oh that's... - Do I have something on my face? 372 00:28:04,804 --> 00:28:06,596 That's permanent. But we can fix that. 373 00:28:06,678 --> 00:28:09,343 I assume you familiar how the procedure works. 374 00:28:09,425 --> 00:28:13,048 You haven't had any sexually transmitted disease, have you? 375 00:28:16,794 --> 00:28:18,793 I'll found out later, won't I? 376 00:28:18,875 --> 00:28:21,707 Nothing a little antibiotic can't cure. 377 00:28:21,789 --> 00:28:24,079 I'm just gonna let you talk for a few minutes. 378 00:28:24,161 --> 00:28:27,285 Tell my clients a little bit about yourself. 379 00:28:27,367 --> 00:28:29,198 You know, a little je ne sais quoi. 380 00:28:29,280 --> 00:28:31,612 - Okay. - Raises the chin. 381 00:28:31,695 --> 00:28:34,402 Oh, so cute by the way. 382 00:28:34,443 --> 00:28:36,109 Begin. Whenever you're ready. 383 00:28:36,191 --> 00:28:38,647 384 00:28:38,729 --> 00:28:41,603 You know what? How about 385 00:28:41,644 --> 00:28:43,934 instead of me trying to articulate 386 00:28:43,974 --> 00:28:47,431 who am I. What don't I just tell you about what I believe in? 387 00:28:50,386 --> 00:28:52,716 Thank you so much for coming by 388 00:28:52,799 --> 00:28:54,548 on such a short notice, Miss Morgan, 389 00:28:54,630 --> 00:28:56,213 and expediting the process. 390 00:28:56,296 --> 00:28:58,835 I can't tell you how excited I am with the possibility 391 00:28:58,918 --> 00:29:00,458 of helping couple in need. 392 00:29:00,541 --> 00:29:02,706 Or should I say a couple in Naples? 393 00:29:02,788 --> 00:29:04,873 Very good. 394 00:29:04,955 --> 00:29:07,495 Well, I was happy to come by. Besides, it's not often 395 00:29:07,577 --> 00:29:09,743 I'm able to kill two birds with one stone. 396 00:29:10,783 --> 00:29:12,781 Two birds? I'm sorry. 397 00:29:12,821 --> 00:29:16,070 You and Miss Henderson. Your roommate? 398 00:29:16,152 --> 00:29:19,981 It's admirable the relationship you too having, 399 00:29:20,063 --> 00:29:21,938 to able to apply for the same 400 00:29:22,062 --> 00:29:25,102 lucrative opportunity without any competitive drive. 401 00:29:26,350 --> 00:29:29,223 The money is not a little consequential for us, Miss Morgan. 402 00:29:29,305 --> 00:29:32,094 After all, you can't put the price on the gift of love. 403 00:29:33,592 --> 00:29:35,924 You. 404 00:29:36,007 --> 00:29:37,882 Must be Deandra. 405 00:29:37,963 --> 00:29:40,545 The one and only. 406 00:29:40,628 --> 00:29:43,916 So lovely to meet you. Please step into my office. 407 00:29:45,123 --> 00:29:46,288 Oh my! 408 00:29:46,370 --> 00:29:50,409 What a magnificent canopy bed! 409 00:29:50,492 --> 00:29:52,241 Oh wow thank you. 410 00:29:52,323 --> 00:29:54,532 It's a Magdalena. 411 00:30:09,765 --> 00:30:11,181 It is very funny. 412 00:30:11,263 --> 00:30:13,221 Do you understand what I mean? 413 00:30:13,303 --> 00:30:15,593 And I can just tell 414 00:30:15,633 --> 00:30:17,717 for the time, energy and love 415 00:30:17,799 --> 00:30:20,379 they have put into this. 416 00:30:30,452 --> 00:30:32,909 I always get inspired by children. 417 00:30:32,950 --> 00:30:35,573 They are so uninhibited, cheerful and... 418 00:30:38,153 --> 00:30:40,151 Thank you. I really look... 419 00:30:48,976 --> 00:30:51,517 Brazilian or Fernando? 420 00:30:51,599 --> 00:30:54,429 - Brazilian. - Oh, a detail special. 421 00:31:00,589 --> 00:31:05,045 It was such a pleasure to meeting you, Deandra. 422 00:31:05,126 --> 00:31:08,831 I'll be sure to tell my clients about your sense of humor. 423 00:31:08,914 --> 00:31:10,247 Thank you. 424 00:31:16,616 --> 00:31:20,154 Well, you folks are looking for a grown woman after all, aren't you? 425 00:31:22,484 --> 00:31:25,440 My hubby and I have the same in turquoise. 426 00:31:25,481 --> 00:31:27,438 You tiger! You! Rawr! 427 00:31:33,307 --> 00:31:36,431 Janie, you must have a blast with this one. 428 00:31:37,969 --> 00:31:39,594 She's a real joke. 429 00:31:41,300 --> 00:31:43,506 I'm very impressed with you both. 430 00:31:43,588 --> 00:31:47,461 I'm so glad that I came out of nowhere. 431 00:31:47,542 --> 00:31:51,415 These pamphlets contain your questionnaires. 432 00:31:51,456 --> 00:31:53,829 It's crucial that you fill them out completely. 433 00:31:53,911 --> 00:31:55,828 - Of course. - And be truthfully. 434 00:31:55,910 --> 00:31:57,617 And as we have little time, 435 00:31:57,699 --> 00:31:59,032 I need them by 8 PM. 436 00:31:59,115 --> 00:32:01,322 I will scan them and get them right to you. 437 00:32:01,404 --> 00:32:03,737 - What email do you prefer me... - Oh, I have it. 438 00:32:03,819 --> 00:32:06,608 - She gave me her card, we can share. - Bye! 439 00:32:06,690 --> 00:32:09,521 Miss Morgan, thank you very much.. 440 00:32:09,604 --> 00:32:13,517 You came by such a short notice and we're really appreciate it. 441 00:32:13,600 --> 00:32:15,765 It was a pleasure to meet you, Olivia. 442 00:32:15,848 --> 00:32:17,887 - All right. Bye. Meow, meow. - Bye. 443 00:32:54,767 --> 00:32:56,434 Why would you do that? 444 00:32:57,640 --> 00:33:00,470 I'm just trying to make something for myself, Janie. 445 00:33:00,553 --> 00:33:03,427 No, you cannot flirt your way through this one. 446 00:33:03,509 --> 00:33:07,258 Never know. See how her fingers on my fuzzy handcuffs? 447 00:33:07,340 --> 00:33:08,964 Thanks for that, by the way. 448 00:33:09,047 --> 00:33:11,046 You are so disgusting. 449 00:33:11,127 --> 00:33:14,250 Relax. I'm just twisting your titty. 450 00:33:15,373 --> 00:33:17,539 I need this money, Dee. 451 00:33:17,621 --> 00:33:19,951 - It's not about the money for me. - Yeah, I know. 452 00:33:20,034 --> 00:33:23,366 You don't even need a fucking job, so what are you trying to prove? 453 00:33:25,904 --> 00:33:27,570 That you're not better than me. 454 00:33:30,150 --> 00:33:32,149 This isn't a beauty pageant. 455 00:33:32,231 --> 00:33:35,728 Life is a beauty pageant, sugar. 456 00:33:36,768 --> 00:33:38,683 You're better than this crap. 457 00:33:40,390 --> 00:33:43,097 I know. Beggars can't be choosers. 458 00:33:53,625 --> 00:33:55,460 If you take a shower, 459 00:33:55,542 --> 00:33:58,539 you'd better not use my Andre Walker shampoo. 460 00:34:04,117 --> 00:34:05,741 You can beat her. 461 00:34:28,468 --> 00:34:31,007 Aw, for me? They're stunning. 462 00:34:31,090 --> 00:34:33,670 - Yes. Janie Garber? - Looking at her. 463 00:34:35,126 --> 00:34:37,333 - Thanks. - Sign here. 464 00:34:44,952 --> 00:34:46,742 - Your receipt. - Yeah. 465 00:34:51,320 --> 00:34:52,461 466 00:34:52,485 --> 00:34:53,794 467 00:34:53,818 --> 00:34:55,418 468 00:35:07,428 --> 00:35:08,719 Bitch. 469 00:35:20,623 --> 00:35:23,246 470 00:36:11,031 --> 00:36:12,615 Give me a second! 471 00:36:12,697 --> 00:36:15,153 One. One thousand. 472 00:36:15,235 --> 00:36:16,443 I'm going in. 473 00:36:17,484 --> 00:36:18,566 Hiya. 474 00:36:19,814 --> 00:36:20,816 Yeah? 475 00:36:23,978 --> 00:36:25,978 I'm sorry about earlier. 476 00:36:26,060 --> 00:36:27,767 I think I'm just PMSing. 477 00:36:29,556 --> 00:36:31,555 Yeah, me too. 478 00:36:31,637 --> 00:36:33,968 So, I got to thinking, 479 00:36:34,050 --> 00:36:36,382 while you're getting scrub on, 480 00:36:36,465 --> 00:36:38,422 that we barely know each other, right? 481 00:36:39,462 --> 00:36:41,462 - Right. - And we're gonna be stuck 482 00:36:41,502 --> 00:36:43,667 living together for like another... 483 00:36:43,749 --> 00:36:45,333 341 days. 484 00:36:45,415 --> 00:36:48,120 - Huh? - That's when I'll be send. 485 00:36:49,618 --> 00:36:52,950 Okay. I won't read until that, but exactly. 486 00:36:53,032 --> 00:36:56,114 So we're suppose to fill these forms that basically reveal 487 00:36:56,197 --> 00:36:59,401 every detail of who we are and what we've done. 488 00:37:00,441 --> 00:37:03,355 - And? - Why don't we fill them out together? 489 00:37:03,438 --> 00:37:06,851 Better yet, why don't we fill out each other? 490 00:37:06,934 --> 00:37:08,974 What better way to get to know one another? 491 00:37:10,433 --> 00:37:13,763 Come on. It will be harmless fun. 492 00:37:13,845 --> 00:37:15,679 Please. 493 00:37:17,591 --> 00:37:19,175 How is your penmanship? 494 00:37:19,257 --> 00:37:22,920 Super. I dot all of my i's with adorable little hearts. 495 00:37:24,583 --> 00:37:26,250 Kidding! 496 00:37:28,830 --> 00:37:30,538 You know, honestly, 497 00:37:30,620 --> 00:37:32,951 I'm just gonna fill mine on my own. 498 00:37:33,034 --> 00:37:34,159 Thank you though. 499 00:37:34,241 --> 00:37:35,699 All right. 500 00:37:39,819 --> 00:37:41,985 Shut my door please. 501 00:37:54,471 --> 00:37:55,471 Dee! 502 00:37:55,552 --> 00:37:57,803 What did I tell you about smoking in the house? 503 00:37:57,886 --> 00:38:00,134 That it will makes this place smell like a bar. 504 00:38:00,216 --> 00:38:02,382 I was blowing out of the window. 505 00:38:02,464 --> 00:38:04,463 It's not good enough. 506 00:38:05,793 --> 00:38:07,418 You always like sage shit. 507 00:38:07,459 --> 00:38:09,956 I light it because this place smells like smoke. 508 00:38:09,997 --> 00:38:11,871 And it's not shit. 509 00:38:11,953 --> 00:38:13,995 I already told you I'm an eighth Navajo. 510 00:38:14,077 --> 00:38:16,034 It's part of my heritage. 511 00:38:18,490 --> 00:38:19,697 Whatever. 512 00:38:21,194 --> 00:38:23,236 You know, my ancestors would have scalped 513 00:38:23,318 --> 00:38:26,523 those pretty blond of you for smoking that crap. 514 00:38:26,606 --> 00:38:28,938 That was way harsh, Janie. 515 00:38:30,478 --> 00:38:31,894 I'm kidding. 516 00:38:31,977 --> 00:38:35,639 Navajos are like the most peaceful tribe. It was a joke. 517 00:38:35,721 --> 00:38:37,262 I was kidding. 518 00:38:39,717 --> 00:38:42,341 I'm sorry. That was kind of bitchy. 519 00:38:45,212 --> 00:38:48,253 Do you want to fill those out together? 520 00:38:48,336 --> 00:38:51,292 I want do my own, and you can do yours, 521 00:38:51,374 --> 00:38:53,207 but we can do it together. 522 00:38:53,288 --> 00:38:54,455 Sweet! 523 00:38:55,494 --> 00:38:57,036 Wait. First... 524 00:39:00,988 --> 00:39:02,946 No thanks. Still vegan. 525 00:39:04,277 --> 00:39:07,068 WTF? You say there's a meat in jello? 526 00:39:07,150 --> 00:39:10,189 - No, not meat. Hooves. - What? 527 00:39:10,271 --> 00:39:13,435 It's weird, right? They basically take cow and pig hooves, 528 00:39:13,475 --> 00:39:15,350 grind them out and... long story short, 529 00:39:15,433 --> 00:39:17,639 ends up being a key ingredient of gelatin, 530 00:39:17,721 --> 00:39:19,181 which is in like almost everything. 531 00:39:19,263 --> 00:39:20,983 Gummy bears are made of gelatin. 532 00:39:21,053 --> 00:39:22,634 Sour cream, even ice cream. 533 00:39:22,716 --> 00:39:26,048 Yeah, all those dirty mud shitty hooves, 534 00:39:26,130 --> 00:39:29,544 all ground up in your favourite meal time snacks. 535 00:39:29,626 --> 00:39:32,582 Whatev. If it's fat-free, it's good for me. 536 00:39:38,536 --> 00:39:39,802 537 00:39:39,826 --> 00:39:42,532 All right, let's begin. 538 00:39:42,614 --> 00:39:45,696 Okay. Height. 539 00:39:45,779 --> 00:39:48,151 - 5'1. - I'm 5'8. 540 00:39:49,274 --> 00:39:51,315 Weight. 113. 541 00:39:52,396 --> 00:39:54,520 - Jesus. - I know, I need to lose a few. 542 00:39:54,602 --> 00:39:57,808 You? 543 00:39:57,891 --> 00:40:01,096 Actually I don't even know, I haven't weighed myself in a really long time. 544 00:40:01,178 --> 00:40:03,052 You know? I'll guess estimate for you. 545 00:40:03,135 --> 00:40:04,885 - And say... - Nothing. 546 00:40:05,923 --> 00:40:08,632 - Leave that blank. - Okay. 547 00:40:08,714 --> 00:40:12,917 - Education. - University of Berkeley. 548 00:40:12,958 --> 00:40:16,039 Bachelor of Science, 549 00:40:16,122 --> 00:40:18,579 and magna cum laude. 550 00:40:18,620 --> 00:40:22,449 - You? - Crestby Highschool, 551 00:40:22,490 --> 00:40:24,325 diploma. 552 00:40:24,407 --> 00:40:26,864 Member cheerleading squad. 553 00:40:26,946 --> 00:40:28,612 Wait. Don't put that there. 554 00:40:28,652 --> 00:40:31,775 You gonna put that under 'extracurricular activities'. 555 00:40:31,816 --> 00:40:35,644 Yeah, let's see. Modeling, 556 00:40:35,727 --> 00:40:38,809 hanging with friends, clubbing. 557 00:40:38,891 --> 00:40:41,182 No wait. I'll put dancing, 558 00:40:41,264 --> 00:40:44,471 and fitness, kickboxing, 559 00:40:44,553 --> 00:40:48,550 pilates, going to the beach. Tanning? 560 00:40:48,632 --> 00:40:51,921 I think that all under 'going to the beach'. 561 00:40:51,962 --> 00:40:53,587 Yeah. 562 00:40:55,167 --> 00:40:58,957 - You? - I put violin, 563 00:40:59,039 --> 00:41:01,619 art, backpacking, 564 00:41:01,743 --> 00:41:04,158 and yoga. 565 00:41:04,240 --> 00:41:06,156 Oh my God, I did not know you did yoga. 566 00:41:06,238 --> 00:41:07,863 We should totally do it together. 567 00:41:07,946 --> 00:41:10,569 I'm like crazy flexible. 568 00:41:12,318 --> 00:41:13,443 Sure. 569 00:41:14,481 --> 00:41:15,856 Medical history. 570 00:41:15,939 --> 00:41:20,935 Any preexisting medical condition we need to know about? 571 00:41:21,017 --> 00:41:24,805 Yeah, ADHD, obvi. 572 00:41:24,887 --> 00:41:27,053 And I'm allergic to fish. 573 00:41:27,135 --> 00:41:29,176 Oh and, 574 00:41:29,258 --> 00:41:30,925 dry skin. 575 00:41:31,007 --> 00:41:34,046 - Eczema? - Yeah, how'd you know? 576 00:41:34,128 --> 00:41:37,751 - I have it too. - Oh my God, we are like sisters. 577 00:41:38,790 --> 00:41:42,039 Not really. Okay. 578 00:41:42,121 --> 00:41:44,162 Have you ever been hospitalized? 579 00:41:49,487 --> 00:41:51,570 You fill out a form, 580 00:41:51,653 --> 00:41:55,441 and it gives them full access to your medical history, 581 00:41:55,524 --> 00:41:57,563 so you can't lie. 582 00:41:59,020 --> 00:42:01,437 I had my stomach pumped two years ago. 583 00:42:01,478 --> 00:42:04,475 It was just a crazy night at the club, 584 00:42:04,557 --> 00:42:06,266 a little to much, bit drunk, 585 00:42:06,348 --> 00:42:07,888 if you catch my drift. 586 00:42:11,010 --> 00:42:12,383 What about you? 587 00:42:13,921 --> 00:42:16,920 Just the eczema. 588 00:42:17,003 --> 00:42:19,543 No other allergy that I know of, so... 589 00:42:19,626 --> 00:42:22,539 You have no pre-existing conditions? 590 00:42:22,622 --> 00:42:25,287 Remember they can find out all this stuff. 591 00:42:25,328 --> 00:42:27,284 I was honest with you. 592 00:42:31,030 --> 00:42:32,614 Bipolar disorder. 593 00:42:33,778 --> 00:42:36,609 But I haven't had any incidents 594 00:42:36,649 --> 00:42:38,898 since like the eighth grade. 595 00:42:38,981 --> 00:42:40,605 - Okay. - Okay. 596 00:42:42,268 --> 00:42:45,600 - Sexual history. - The real fun stuff. 597 00:42:45,640 --> 00:42:48,931 Any sexually transmitted disease? 598 00:42:48,972 --> 00:42:52,386 No, ma'am. All cleared up as recently. 599 00:42:52,468 --> 00:42:53,594 You? 600 00:42:54,633 --> 00:42:58,047 All cleared up... as it's always. 601 00:42:58,129 --> 00:43:00,585 Number of sexual partners. 602 00:43:00,625 --> 00:43:02,999 Why would they ask that? 603 00:43:03,082 --> 00:43:06,246 They kind of want to have an idea of your lifestyle choices, 604 00:43:06,329 --> 00:43:08,786 and anything you have can be pass on to the baby. 605 00:43:08,868 --> 00:43:10,617 I mean, they won't notice 606 00:43:10,699 --> 00:43:12,532 if I fluctuates a little, right? 607 00:43:12,614 --> 00:43:15,071 So I'm gonna say... 608 00:43:15,153 --> 00:43:16,320 50. 609 00:43:17,443 --> 00:43:18,526 Too many? 610 00:43:19,566 --> 00:43:20,941 40? 611 00:43:21,023 --> 00:43:22,939 39. 612 00:43:23,021 --> 00:43:24,561 Does that sounds naughty? 613 00:43:25,725 --> 00:43:26,892 Nah. 614 00:43:29,264 --> 00:43:30,846 Okay, so... 615 00:43:30,929 --> 00:43:34,218 Drumroll. 616 00:43:34,300 --> 00:43:37,300 How many guys plunked the Garber caves? 617 00:43:38,340 --> 00:43:39,464 One. 618 00:43:40,629 --> 00:43:41,921 Shut your mouth. 619 00:43:42,003 --> 00:43:44,376 - No. - Are you serious? 620 00:43:44,458 --> 00:43:46,957 - Yeah. -. Wait, how old are you? 621 00:43:46,997 --> 00:43:50,286 - How is that possible? - Okay, I knew we should not do this. 622 00:43:50,326 --> 00:43:52,492 No, I'm sorry. I'm just... 623 00:43:52,574 --> 00:43:55,822 Girl, you have not lived. 624 00:43:55,905 --> 00:43:57,863 I could say the same about you. 625 00:43:57,944 --> 00:44:00,110 Why? Because I've never been to the pyramids? 626 00:44:00,151 --> 00:44:03,065 Well, you're wrong. I've been to Cancun. 627 00:44:04,854 --> 00:44:07,852 Nice, really good to know. 628 00:44:08,891 --> 00:44:11,391 - Next question. - Nice try, 629 00:44:11,473 --> 00:44:13,762 but I wanna know why first. 630 00:44:13,844 --> 00:44:16,968 It's not really that earth-shattering. 631 00:44:18,048 --> 00:44:20,256 I was waiting for the right guy, 632 00:44:20,338 --> 00:44:22,379 because I didn't want it to be some 633 00:44:22,461 --> 00:44:25,835 drunken night under the bleachers of a homecoming game. 634 00:44:25,917 --> 00:44:28,415 No offense if that's how you lost. 635 00:44:28,498 --> 00:44:30,955 Close. I mean, switch the booze for 'E' 636 00:44:31,037 --> 00:44:32,870 and the bleachers for Subaru. 637 00:44:32,952 --> 00:44:34,909 Wouldn't had it other way. 638 00:44:34,992 --> 00:44:36,866 But okay tell me, 639 00:44:36,948 --> 00:44:39,778 Was it everything you hope it will be? 640 00:44:41,026 --> 00:44:42,069 Yes. 641 00:44:43,149 --> 00:44:46,606 Okay, so what happened to Mr. Stunt Muffin? 642 00:44:46,688 --> 00:44:49,436 I'm sorry, just curious. 643 00:44:50,851 --> 00:44:53,182 What happened was... 644 00:44:53,264 --> 00:44:56,054 I found another girl's thong in 645 00:44:56,136 --> 00:44:58,802 his car compartment two weeks ago. 646 00:44:58,884 --> 00:45:01,383 Wait. Back up. 647 00:45:01,464 --> 00:45:06,127 Two weeks ago? You broke up with Joe two weeks ago. 648 00:45:06,210 --> 00:45:08,624 Joe was your... 649 00:45:08,707 --> 00:45:10,622 Damn, girl. 650 00:45:10,663 --> 00:45:13,078 I guess that just proves my point. 651 00:45:14,494 --> 00:45:16,160 What is your point, Dee? 652 00:45:16,242 --> 00:45:17,908 That all men are dogs 653 00:45:17,990 --> 00:45:19,615 and belong at the back of Subarus. 654 00:45:19,656 --> 00:45:22,653 In a perfect world, you would have pick up a little, 655 00:45:22,735 --> 00:45:24,319 because you are so super duber smart. 656 00:45:24,401 --> 00:45:27,605 But in a reality, you settle up with a total d-bag. 657 00:45:29,353 --> 00:45:31,020 Wait. Where are you going? 658 00:45:31,102 --> 00:45:32,851 What did I say that wasn't the truth? 659 00:45:32,934 --> 00:45:35,473 No, I'm just gonna fill this out on my own. 660 00:45:37,138 --> 00:45:40,011 Chocolate is the leading cause of the Fupa. 661 00:45:41,133 --> 00:45:42,925 I'm just being honest. 662 00:46:09,274 --> 00:46:10,814 Bipolar. 663 00:47:08,922 --> 00:47:11,088 Hey, you ready for some scanning action? 664 00:47:11,128 --> 00:47:13,043 - Shit, Dee. - Janie, you tiger. 665 00:47:14,833 --> 00:47:17,082 - Get out of my room. - I'm sorry. 666 00:47:17,163 --> 00:47:18,330 Wait. 667 00:47:18,412 --> 00:47:21,577 - Just scan me this. - Yes! 668 00:47:21,659 --> 00:47:22,867 669 00:47:28,859 --> 00:47:31,857 Do the right thing. You can beat her. 670 00:47:31,940 --> 00:47:33,480 Okay. 671 00:47:54,584 --> 00:47:55,585 672 00:47:57,041 --> 00:47:58,791 - Hey. - Hey, getting ready? 673 00:47:58,873 --> 00:48:01,121 I can't wait to see you in an hour and a half. 674 00:48:01,162 --> 00:48:02,536 Shit. 675 00:48:02,618 --> 00:48:05,574 Hey, I made a reservation. Guess where? 676 00:48:05,657 --> 00:48:09,113 Actually the whore train is going out tonight. Why don't we just stay in? 677 00:48:09,195 --> 00:48:11,193 All right, sounds fantastic. 678 00:48:12,234 --> 00:48:14,192 Did you like the flowers? 679 00:48:14,316 --> 00:48:15,481 What? 680 00:48:15,563 --> 00:48:18,271 I sent you a bouquet. They said you signed for it. 681 00:48:19,477 --> 00:48:20,477 Hello? 682 00:48:25,053 --> 00:48:27,846 I'm gonna have to call you back, okay? 683 00:48:32,257 --> 00:48:33,382 Hey. 684 00:48:33,464 --> 00:48:35,504 Did you change your mind about the party tonight? 685 00:48:35,586 --> 00:48:39,084 No. I need to talk to you. 686 00:48:39,166 --> 00:48:40,873 Sure. What about? 687 00:48:40,955 --> 00:48:42,912 Oh my God, I've been stretching, 688 00:48:42,995 --> 00:48:44,828 because it's knot at my back. 689 00:48:44,910 --> 00:48:46,659 It's killing me. 690 00:48:46,742 --> 00:48:49,323 Since you're masseur, 691 00:48:49,405 --> 00:48:51,321 Maybe you can, you know, help me out, 692 00:48:51,403 --> 00:48:54,068 or give me any point or something. 693 00:48:55,898 --> 00:48:58,606 Actually, I haven't had any clients today, 694 00:48:58,646 --> 00:49:00,812 so my hands is pretty fresh. 695 00:49:00,894 --> 00:49:04,474 Seriously? Thank you. 696 00:49:04,556 --> 00:49:08,054 - Thank you. - So, let me just get set up. 697 00:49:08,136 --> 00:49:10,718 - So, give me 10 minutes. - Okay. 698 00:49:10,800 --> 00:49:12,924 Perfect! 699 00:49:25,829 --> 00:49:27,287 Hey. 700 00:49:27,327 --> 00:49:31,448 Hey. Take your robe off and climb over. 701 00:49:35,277 --> 00:49:37,817 So, there's really no catch of this? 702 00:49:37,899 --> 00:49:41,022 No. Do you want a massage or not? 703 00:49:41,104 --> 00:49:44,269 Okay. Face up or face down? 704 00:49:44,350 --> 00:49:46,142 Face down. 705 00:49:49,930 --> 00:49:53,509 I'm so fucking sore. 706 00:49:53,591 --> 00:49:55,465 Are you sore from the gym, 707 00:49:55,548 --> 00:49:57,754 or the little work out you had in our kitchen? 708 00:49:57,836 --> 00:50:00,710 I can never tell. 709 00:50:00,793 --> 00:50:04,248 Okay, I'm just gonna take that off. 710 00:50:04,332 --> 00:50:06,123 Oh yeah, thanks. 711 00:50:07,288 --> 00:50:10,619 So, what's your doggy's name again? 712 00:50:10,660 --> 00:50:13,532 - Godiva. - It's cute. 713 00:50:13,614 --> 00:50:16,280 Yeah, she's my little angel. 714 00:50:16,362 --> 00:50:20,609 Damn. Your hands are magical, woman. 715 00:50:20,690 --> 00:50:23,605 Thank you. Years of practice. 716 00:50:23,687 --> 00:50:26,934 They say 10,000 hours makes you a solicit master. 717 00:50:26,975 --> 00:50:28,642 That's what they say, huh? 718 00:50:28,724 --> 00:50:30,473 Yeah, in my experience, 719 00:50:30,555 --> 00:50:34,302 big eyelashes, long legs and a par 34-C waist also works. 720 00:50:38,257 --> 00:50:41,045 Sorry, I thought you liked it rough. 721 00:50:42,168 --> 00:50:43,917 Anyway, 722 00:50:44,000 --> 00:50:47,580 It's what my mom said, and it's the truth. 723 00:50:47,662 --> 00:50:49,579 Especially here in LA. 724 00:50:49,661 --> 00:50:51,868 If you're not a 10 in this town, you're nobody. 725 00:50:51,950 --> 00:50:54,617 That's really sad. 726 00:50:54,657 --> 00:50:57,947 - What is? - What you just said. 727 00:50:57,988 --> 00:51:00,277 'If you're not a 10 you're nobody'? 728 00:51:00,318 --> 00:51:03,441 Yeah, well, that's life. 729 00:51:04,481 --> 00:51:07,186 I mean, like I was talking to that... 730 00:51:07,268 --> 00:51:09,393 interviewer chick earlier. 731 00:51:09,476 --> 00:51:10,850 - What's her name... - Olivia. 732 00:51:10,932 --> 00:51:12,764 Yeah, her. 733 00:51:12,847 --> 00:51:14,762 She told me straight up that 734 00:51:14,803 --> 00:51:18,176 they had already found the girl, someone listed as a whip. 735 00:51:18,258 --> 00:51:20,256 Whatever that means. 736 00:51:20,339 --> 00:51:23,463 It's a harsh training reference. 737 00:51:24,751 --> 00:51:26,751 How did you charmed the way that one? 738 00:51:26,834 --> 00:51:29,164 I didn't charmed her. 739 00:51:29,246 --> 00:51:30,746 I lovable with her. 740 00:51:31,828 --> 00:51:34,783 You can learn any trade, make shit tons of money 741 00:51:34,824 --> 00:51:37,323 and climb the highest mountain, but beauty, 742 00:51:37,405 --> 00:51:40,694 and I'm talking about authentic natural beauty. 743 00:51:40,776 --> 00:51:42,111 It's priceless. 744 00:51:42,152 --> 00:51:45,108 You can't earn it, you can't buy it, 745 00:51:45,149 --> 00:51:46,981 but if you know how to use it, 746 00:51:47,064 --> 00:51:49,228 it can buy you anything. 747 00:51:49,311 --> 00:51:52,518 No way she fell for that. 748 00:51:52,600 --> 00:51:54,472 You can't buy happiness. 749 00:51:55,845 --> 00:51:57,220 - You know? - Yeah? 750 00:51:57,303 --> 00:51:59,093 Turn around. I'm gonna get you on the face. 751 00:51:59,176 --> 00:52:01,466 They don't bite. 752 00:52:03,088 --> 00:52:04,547 Keep your eyes closed. 753 00:52:04,629 --> 00:52:05,837 754 00:52:05,920 --> 00:52:07,669 Anyway, you were right a second ago. 755 00:52:07,751 --> 00:52:11,081 She did not fall for it. She said that the couple outmost concern, 756 00:52:11,164 --> 00:52:13,913 is that the child has a carefree a childhood as possible. 757 00:52:14,952 --> 00:52:16,786 And that was when I knew I had her, 758 00:52:16,826 --> 00:52:20,530 because at grade school, nobody has it in easier child than the cool kid. 759 00:52:20,612 --> 00:52:22,778 While the losers studying for AP Geometry 760 00:52:22,860 --> 00:52:26,191 were getting tossed into the trashcans and planning killing sprees, 761 00:52:26,274 --> 00:52:28,022 me and my girls were just kicking it. 762 00:52:28,104 --> 00:52:29,814 And look how great I turned out. 763 00:52:29,897 --> 00:52:32,436 Yeah, I bet you look good, bitch. 764 00:52:32,519 --> 00:52:36,766 What? The fuck? Do you have any idea what this will do to my skin? 765 00:52:36,848 --> 00:52:38,389 I do. You didn't say 'cheese'. 766 00:52:38,471 --> 00:52:41,925 Why did you do that, you crazy fucking bitch? 767 00:52:42,008 --> 00:52:45,131 - Why would you throw my flowers away? - That? Jesus. 768 00:52:45,171 --> 00:52:47,962 - I was looking out for you. - Yeah, you're jealous. 769 00:52:48,003 --> 00:52:52,290 Oh my God, girl, you really, really need to get fucked, 770 00:52:52,331 --> 00:52:53,914 and you need to get fucked good. 771 00:52:53,997 --> 00:52:55,954 Not by your pathetic and perverted boyfriend, 772 00:52:55,995 --> 00:53:00,325 not by Clifford, the big red dildo like I saw you play earlier. 773 00:53:00,407 --> 00:53:01,990 I'm sorry. 774 00:53:02,072 --> 00:53:03,489 775 00:53:07,815 --> 00:53:10,522 You know what I that you don't? 776 00:53:10,605 --> 00:53:13,353 - Cellulite? - I have a boyfriend, 777 00:53:13,435 --> 00:53:15,434 who loves me, and he may not be perfect, 778 00:53:15,516 --> 00:53:18,183 but he doesn't treat me like a sperm receptacle. 779 00:53:19,431 --> 00:53:24,135 Janie, you found another girl's zebra g-string in his car. 780 00:53:24,218 --> 00:53:26,591 Trust me, you're the cum dumpster. 781 00:53:28,255 --> 00:53:30,294 I'm gonna beat the slut out of you. 782 00:53:30,376 --> 00:53:32,750 Why? For once again being honest? 783 00:53:32,833 --> 00:53:35,914 I've never told you that the g-string was zebra prints! 784 00:53:41,824 --> 00:53:43,407 Shit. 785 00:53:43,489 --> 00:53:44,947 Shit! 786 00:53:45,820 --> 00:53:47,695 Oh my God. 787 00:55:07,988 --> 00:55:11,653 788 00:55:11,736 --> 00:55:13,610 Fucking... 789 00:55:18,312 --> 00:55:21,310 You are really testing my patience, bitch. 790 00:55:21,392 --> 00:55:23,432 - I was about to apologize. - For what? 791 00:55:23,514 --> 00:55:25,930 Stealing my flowers or just sleeping with my boyfriend? 792 00:55:28,261 --> 00:55:30,260 I'm sorry. Did I miss the joke? 793 00:55:30,343 --> 00:55:33,672 If you think that I would let your pencil dick's boyfriend 794 00:55:33,754 --> 00:55:37,335 fuck me, you're the joke. 795 00:55:37,417 --> 00:55:41,621 Come on, Janie, seriously. 796 00:55:41,704 --> 00:55:44,288 I can do better. Like I did better this morning. 797 00:55:44,370 --> 00:55:46,411 Go fuck yourself. 798 00:55:46,492 --> 00:55:49,991 Oh, hand me your jelly red giant. I'd love it. 799 00:55:54,777 --> 00:55:56,149 Listen, you little twat, 800 00:55:56,231 --> 00:55:59,105 touch my face, even a single hair on my body one more fucking time, 801 00:55:59,146 --> 00:56:00,688 and I will unleash hell on you. 802 00:56:00,770 --> 00:56:03,560 I did not sleep with Joe. 803 00:56:03,642 --> 00:56:06,640 You jump to conclusions in that crazy little head and schizoid of yours. 804 00:56:07,721 --> 00:56:11,552 Then swear on your life that wasn't your g-string that I found in his car. 805 00:56:11,634 --> 00:56:13,841 No, that was totally my g-string, 806 00:56:13,924 --> 00:56:15,630 but I didn't fuck him. 807 00:56:15,671 --> 00:56:17,962 Fuck you! 808 00:56:27,700 --> 00:56:28,743 809 00:56:32,822 --> 00:56:35,862 Did you use my Andre Walker shampoo? 810 00:56:42,771 --> 00:56:44,435 Eat shit! 811 00:56:49,804 --> 00:56:51,721 812 00:56:55,965 --> 00:56:57,964 Fuck! 813 00:56:59,253 --> 00:57:00,961 814 00:57:03,457 --> 00:57:05,290 Fuck you! 815 00:57:06,413 --> 00:57:08,952 What did you do? 816 00:57:26,311 --> 00:57:27,602 Shit. 817 00:57:27,642 --> 00:57:29,766 What can I get you? 818 00:57:29,890 --> 00:57:30,974 What do you need? 819 00:57:31,056 --> 00:57:33,886 - Epi... - Well, no... 820 00:57:33,969 --> 00:57:35,634 - Tell me what you need. - Epi... 821 00:57:35,717 --> 00:57:38,424 EpiPen? An EpiPen? Okay, wait. 822 00:57:43,251 --> 00:57:44,460 Okay, where do I put it? 823 00:57:44,500 --> 00:57:46,125 Where do I put it? 824 00:57:47,164 --> 00:57:49,288 On the foot? 825 00:57:49,370 --> 00:57:51,286 - Fucking... - Your vagina? 826 00:57:52,742 --> 00:57:54,492 - Thighs. - Your thigh? 827 00:58:01,774 --> 00:58:04,148 Sorry. 828 00:58:04,230 --> 00:58:07,227 Wow, bitch. 829 00:58:46,730 --> 00:58:49,436 All right, bitch, you wanna play with fire? 830 00:58:49,477 --> 00:58:51,559 I think we have taking this too far. 831 00:58:51,642 --> 00:58:53,516 - Really? - No! 832 00:58:54,639 --> 00:58:57,305 The fuck? 833 00:58:57,346 --> 00:58:59,761 Bring it, crater face. 834 00:58:59,801 --> 00:59:01,301 835 00:59:01,342 --> 00:59:03,716 - Did I ruin your little artistic statement? - Oh my God! 836 00:59:03,798 --> 00:59:05,255 No, not the face. It's permanent. 837 00:59:05,337 --> 00:59:07,794 Who needs beauty when you got brains, right? 838 00:59:07,835 --> 00:59:10,082 Besides, you couldn't possibly get any uglier. 839 00:59:12,080 --> 00:59:16,077 - Who the fuck is texting? - It's Joe! And he's gonna be here any minute! 840 00:59:16,159 --> 00:59:18,617 Oh, pencil dick is coming over? 841 00:59:18,699 --> 00:59:19,948 Fuck you! 842 00:59:20,988 --> 00:59:22,821 843 00:59:22,903 --> 00:59:25,443 Oh God, did Ernest Heming-gay wrote you another poem? 844 00:59:25,525 --> 00:59:27,816 It's not Joe. It's Olivia. 845 00:59:27,898 --> 00:59:29,606 Guess who made the final cut? 846 00:59:29,688 --> 00:59:32,104 Yeah, the college graduate, the hardworker. 847 00:59:32,186 --> 00:59:35,640 No the fucking princess. Suck my fucking twat! 848 00:59:45,005 --> 00:59:47,090 Looks like the ancient battle 849 00:59:47,130 --> 00:59:49,628 between Beauty and the Beast ain't over yet, bitch! 850 00:59:53,956 --> 00:59:56,413 Oh my God! You broke my Mary Magdalene! 851 00:59:56,495 --> 00:59:57,910 That's it! 852 00:59:57,951 --> 00:59:59,950 Do you have any idea how much it cost? 853 00:59:59,990 --> 01:00:02,074 Nine blowjobs? 854 01:00:19,931 --> 01:00:21,056 Fuck you. 855 01:00:28,171 --> 01:00:30,211 No! 856 01:00:31,792 --> 01:00:33,916 Dee! Stop. Please. 857 01:00:33,956 --> 01:00:35,167 Those are irreplaceable! 858 01:00:35,249 --> 01:00:38,247 Oh, what's the matter? You don't like people breaking your stuff? 859 01:00:39,203 --> 01:00:41,244 Stop! Please. 860 01:00:41,326 --> 01:00:45,407 Come on! The stupid mattress king can always buy you another canopy bed. 861 01:00:46,653 --> 01:00:49,235 You ever played the ultimate Frisbee? 862 01:00:49,316 --> 01:00:52,565 No. Guess you're more math-lete. 863 01:00:57,393 --> 01:00:58,768 Stop! 864 01:01:07,175 --> 01:01:08,966 Janie? 865 01:01:38,977 --> 01:01:41,808 Are you fukcing kidding me? What are you doing? 866 01:01:41,849 --> 01:01:45,137 - You crazy. - When a dog's mad, 867 01:01:45,178 --> 01:01:46,511 you chained it up. 868 01:01:48,051 --> 01:01:49,841 Thank God I'm not giving you a muzzle. 869 01:01:55,086 --> 01:01:58,292 No, bad doggy. Joe's gonna be here any minute, 870 01:01:58,374 --> 01:02:00,996 and I thought it'll be super fun game we can all play. 871 01:02:01,079 --> 01:02:03,661 What are you gonna do? Fuck him in front of me? 872 01:02:03,742 --> 01:02:05,700 Pencil dick won't do it for me, 873 01:02:05,782 --> 01:02:07,657 but close. 874 01:02:07,739 --> 01:02:09,946 - Hey! - If you scream, 875 01:02:09,986 --> 01:02:12,779 I'll spray the whole entire can in your fucking throat. 876 01:02:12,820 --> 01:02:14,068 I'm doing this for you. 877 01:02:14,108 --> 01:02:16,482 I can prove to you how two faced Joe truly is. 878 01:02:16,565 --> 01:02:18,273 You better keep your mouth shut. 879 01:02:18,354 --> 01:02:21,020 If he know you're listening, he will never admit it. 880 01:02:21,102 --> 01:02:22,477 It's up to you. 881 01:02:26,304 --> 01:02:27,471 Good girl. 882 01:02:32,590 --> 01:02:35,338 For that, I'm gonna have extra fun with him. 883 01:02:39,083 --> 01:02:42,081 - Are you serious right now... - This will keep your mouth shut. 884 01:02:56,150 --> 01:02:59,105 What are you doing here? 885 01:02:59,146 --> 01:03:01,355 I live here, brother. 886 01:03:01,437 --> 01:03:04,352 What the hell are you doing here? Janie shitcan you. 887 01:03:04,434 --> 01:03:07,348 Not officially. I have a date with her. 888 01:03:07,430 --> 01:03:09,680 So, where can I find her? 889 01:03:09,762 --> 01:03:12,259 She ditched you up. She left about an hour ago, 890 01:03:12,341 --> 01:03:16,298 something about futuristic theme rage in Melrose, 891 01:03:16,381 --> 01:03:18,879 - with her ladies. - True ladies? 892 01:03:18,961 --> 01:03:22,000 - That doesn't sound like her. - I've been working on her, 893 01:03:22,082 --> 01:03:24,914 teaching her how to spread her, wings. 894 01:03:24,955 --> 01:03:28,202 Look, Janie doesn't take you seriously. Okay? 895 01:03:28,284 --> 01:03:31,116 Oh, she does now. We became total besties. 896 01:03:31,198 --> 01:03:34,447 You know, she changed a lot since she found that g-string that you stole from me 897 01:03:34,529 --> 01:03:37,859 while I was in the shower the day we met. You remember. 898 01:03:37,941 --> 01:03:40,814 Sorry, I don't know what the fucki you're talking about. 899 01:03:40,896 --> 01:03:43,312 Could you just tell me where she is? 900 01:03:44,685 --> 01:03:46,266 Who do you pretend were? 901 01:03:46,307 --> 01:03:48,309 It's just you and me, 902 01:03:48,350 --> 01:03:49,600 all alone. 903 01:03:51,721 --> 01:03:54,386 Do you wanna know a secret? 904 01:03:55,425 --> 01:03:57,841 - Maybe. - It's a shame. 905 01:03:57,923 --> 01:04:00,711 Janie didn't have to take you back, 906 01:04:00,793 --> 01:04:04,126 because if you're single just like... moi, 907 01:04:04,209 --> 01:04:06,540 I would have let you eat out my ass 908 01:04:06,622 --> 01:04:09,287 and any other kinky shit that turns you on. 909 01:04:09,369 --> 01:04:12,034 This lips are sealed. 910 01:04:13,074 --> 01:04:15,073 Well, they would have been. 911 01:04:16,486 --> 01:04:19,110 - Where's Janie? - Really? 912 01:04:19,193 --> 01:04:21,073 You seriously love her? 913 01:04:21,108 --> 01:04:23,773 Where is she and when she'll coming home? 914 01:04:23,814 --> 01:04:27,186 I don't know, you're not waiting here for her. 915 01:04:27,267 --> 01:04:30,182 No, because what I meant is... 916 01:04:31,680 --> 01:04:33,595 If I can trust you, 917 01:04:33,678 --> 01:04:34,885 then, 918 01:04:35,925 --> 01:04:38,634 why does it matter if I was dating Janie or not? 919 01:04:40,006 --> 01:04:41,589 It wouldn't matter. 920 01:04:42,962 --> 01:04:44,170 First, 921 01:04:44,251 --> 01:04:46,750 I need two things from you. 922 01:04:46,832 --> 01:04:49,079 One, admits that stole my g-string. 923 01:04:51,286 --> 01:04:52,952 Fine, I admit it. You got me. 924 01:04:52,993 --> 01:04:55,117 Good boy. 925 01:04:56,656 --> 01:04:59,154 Now tell me why. 926 01:04:59,236 --> 01:05:02,193 Be graphic. It makes me soaking wet. 927 01:05:04,189 --> 01:05:06,480 Because I was dating Janie, 928 01:05:06,562 --> 01:05:09,311 and you're her roommate, you are off my limits. 929 01:05:09,394 --> 01:05:10,934 And.. 930 01:05:12,847 --> 01:05:15,221 From the moment I saw you, I.. 931 01:05:16,261 --> 01:05:17,469 just.. 932 01:05:18,466 --> 01:05:21,548 - Say it. - Needed to eat that sweet pussy. 933 01:05:21,631 --> 01:05:26,504 Now, I need one more thing from you. 934 01:05:27,667 --> 01:05:29,541 Pull out that meat dick of yours. 935 01:05:29,624 --> 01:05:31,956 Show me, right here and now. 936 01:05:33,994 --> 01:05:35,535 How about.. 937 01:05:36,948 --> 01:05:38,073 you take it out for me? 938 01:05:40,695 --> 01:05:42,195 I love how your head at, 939 01:05:42,277 --> 01:05:45,442 but I make the rules. 940 01:05:50,686 --> 01:05:51,727 Come on. 941 01:06:05,004 --> 01:06:07,544 Just as I thought, pencil dick. 942 01:06:07,626 --> 01:06:09,750 The beast four inches. 943 01:06:09,791 --> 01:06:11,332 Yet thin like a worm. 944 01:06:11,414 --> 01:06:13,582 Would you rather I call you that? 945 01:06:13,664 --> 01:06:15,413 This is at least the above average. 946 01:06:15,454 --> 01:06:18,035 You have something on your head. There it is, link. 947 01:06:18,117 --> 01:06:21,032 What did you put on my forehead? 948 01:06:21,114 --> 01:06:22,947 Hey, you know what? I change my mind. 949 01:06:22,987 --> 01:06:25,361 Go sharpen your pencil some place else, 950 01:06:25,442 --> 01:06:29,065 and for the love of god, trim that bush. You're not Don King. 951 01:06:29,147 --> 01:06:30,522 You know what this.. 952 01:06:34,934 --> 01:06:37,140 Told you he was a two faced perve. 953 01:06:38,138 --> 01:06:41,136 By the way, I so called his dick was long and thin. 954 01:06:41,218 --> 01:06:43,051 You knew the whole time. I was right. 955 01:06:43,133 --> 01:06:44,799 And you never told me. 956 01:06:44,839 --> 01:06:47,048 I'm seriously gonna kill you. 957 01:06:47,130 --> 01:06:49,669 For what? Showing you the light? 958 01:06:49,751 --> 01:06:52,125 You didn't have to blinded me with it. 959 01:06:52,207 --> 01:06:55,039 It's the only way. It's better that you know now, 960 01:06:55,120 --> 01:06:56,995 and not months later. 961 01:07:24,800 --> 01:07:27,633 You better.. Take one more step, Janie Garber.. 962 01:07:27,715 --> 01:07:29,630 This is 500 dollars price! 963 01:07:35,457 --> 01:07:37,165 You fucking bitch! 964 01:07:54,064 --> 01:07:55,646 Fuck you! 965 01:08:17,414 --> 01:08:19,414 I hope this will kill you! 966 01:08:50,300 --> 01:08:53,588 This is all you are, a used fucking condom. 967 01:08:53,629 --> 01:08:55,546 At least I'm getting laid. 968 01:08:55,627 --> 01:09:03,627 Swallow it! 969 01:09:30,468 --> 01:09:32,634 970 01:09:35,838 --> 01:09:37,420 Hey, Janie. 971 01:09:45,453 --> 01:09:47,619 No! Stop! 972 01:09:47,701 --> 01:09:48,992 973 01:10:06,973 --> 01:10:10,886 Why do I feel that it's your mission to make my life living hell? 974 01:10:12,259 --> 01:10:14,799 Because you see yourself as a victim. 975 01:10:14,881 --> 01:10:17,798 A victim always has an excuse for failure. 976 01:10:17,839 --> 01:10:20,128 That's the difference between you and me. 977 01:10:20,169 --> 01:10:23,541 For me, failure is not an option. 978 01:10:24,956 --> 01:10:26,622 I hate you so much. 979 01:10:27,660 --> 01:10:29,368 You don't hate me. 980 01:10:29,450 --> 01:10:32,366 You just hate the idea of ​​me. 981 01:10:32,449 --> 01:10:34,863 You hate that no matter how hard you try, 982 01:10:34,946 --> 01:10:36,321 no matter how hard you work, 983 01:10:36,361 --> 01:10:38,026 no matter how smart you are, 984 01:10:38,108 --> 01:10:39,817 you'll never be me. 985 01:10:39,857 --> 01:10:42,314 The sooner your shrink teacher you had to deal with that, 986 01:10:42,396 --> 01:10:43,896 the better off we'll both be. 987 01:10:44,936 --> 01:10:46,435 I don't want to be you. 988 01:10:47,974 --> 01:10:50,140 That's what you tell me too. 989 01:10:50,222 --> 01:10:51,806 Everyone else does. 990 01:10:54,176 --> 01:10:57,673 Someone who pops pills and counts calories? 991 01:10:57,755 --> 01:11:00,129 And doesn't feel good unless she has a slimy man 992 01:11:00,253 --> 01:11:01,877 putting her hand all over them 993 01:11:01,959 --> 01:11:03,375 just to buy her gifts? 994 01:11:03,457 --> 01:11:05,251 Says the masseuse. 995 01:11:06,291 --> 01:11:08,622 You put your hands over slimy old man too. 996 01:11:08,663 --> 01:11:10,246 I just get better tips. 997 01:11:10,287 --> 01:11:12,243 I do it for a living! 998 01:11:12,284 --> 01:11:15,657 You do it so you feel good about yourself! 999 01:11:15,739 --> 01:11:18,819 You don't feel good unless everybody loves you! 1000 01:11:22,399 --> 01:11:24,356 You maybe right, Janie Garber, 1001 01:11:25,437 --> 01:11:27,977 but at least I feel special. 1002 01:11:28,059 --> 01:11:30,724 At least everybody likes me. 1003 01:11:30,806 --> 01:11:32,472 Do they? 1004 01:11:32,513 --> 01:11:35,303 Or do they just like bouncing quarters on your ass? 1005 01:11:41,045 --> 01:11:42,712 Is there any difference? 1006 01:11:43,752 --> 01:11:46,250 We are in the prime of our lives. 1007 01:11:46,332 --> 01:11:49,372 While you are in here studying, 1008 01:11:49,454 --> 01:11:51,703 hiding, judging, 1009 01:11:51,785 --> 01:11:54,494 I'm out there living. 1010 01:11:54,618 --> 01:11:57,532 Enjoying every single second. 1011 01:11:58,822 --> 01:12:00,278 Are you? 1012 01:12:01,444 --> 01:12:03,568 Because you spend your morning at the gym, 1013 01:12:04,731 --> 01:12:06,521 and your afternoon is tanning, 1014 01:12:06,604 --> 01:12:09,104 and at thenight you sitting there on your computer, 1015 01:12:09,144 --> 01:12:12,059 Facebooking, Twittering, and fucking Instagraming 1016 01:12:12,141 --> 01:12:15,055 photos of your manicures and pedicures? 1017 01:12:15,137 --> 01:12:17,179 Who does that? 1018 01:12:17,260 --> 01:12:19,967 You have like no personality. 1019 01:12:20,049 --> 01:12:22,465 You seriously are what you are, 1020 01:12:22,547 --> 01:12:24,171 like that's it. 1021 01:12:36,116 --> 01:12:37,491 You know what? 1022 01:12:38,863 --> 01:12:40,446 Don't! Don't! 1023 01:12:42,196 --> 01:12:44,152 Someday, you're gonna thank me for this. 1024 01:12:44,193 --> 01:12:46,650 Don't! 1025 01:12:46,691 --> 01:12:48,651 Consider this is your chance to start over, 1026 01:12:48,689 --> 01:12:51,063 and you can start by feeding that fucking snake. 1027 01:12:55,306 --> 01:12:58,013 1028 01:13:01,801 --> 01:13:04,465 - No! - Stay back! 1029 01:13:05,672 --> 01:13:09,418 No! 1030 01:13:10,832 --> 01:13:12,706 Why would you do that? 1031 01:13:16,661 --> 01:13:18,575 Fernando needs to be fed. 1032 01:13:18,658 --> 01:13:21,531 She was an innocent creature! 1033 01:13:21,613 --> 01:13:23,861 Oh yeah. Just like you? 1034 01:13:23,943 --> 01:13:26,276 I was trying to help you! 1035 01:13:27,814 --> 01:13:30,232 First of all, bullshit. 1036 01:13:30,314 --> 01:13:33,437 Second, I don't need your help, Janie, 1037 01:13:33,478 --> 01:13:36,518 and that is just one of the many things that I hate about you. 1038 01:13:36,599 --> 01:13:40,305 You think you're the unique, and like a little gift to the world. 1039 01:13:40,346 --> 01:13:43,550 You think you're so much better smarter than the rest of us. 1040 01:13:43,633 --> 01:13:46,507 You think everyone should be like you! 1041 01:13:47,546 --> 01:13:49,712 And that's the irony, 1042 01:13:49,794 --> 01:13:54,249 because you don't even want to be like you. 1043 01:13:54,289 --> 01:13:56,871 How the hell would you even know that? 1044 01:13:57,910 --> 01:14:00,451 That's how. 1045 01:14:01,490 --> 01:14:03,491 I know that you tried to kill yourself. 1046 01:14:03,573 --> 01:14:06,028 I know that it's actually almost work. 1047 01:14:06,111 --> 01:14:10,982 Your sister warned me of your 'instability', 1048 01:14:11,022 --> 01:14:13,520 long before I let you move in. 1049 01:14:16,225 --> 01:14:19,600 You're so miserable. 1050 01:14:22,596 --> 01:14:26,093 You say you hate me? 1051 01:14:27,924 --> 01:14:30,129 The truth is, 1052 01:14:30,253 --> 01:14:32,252 you really just hate yourself. 1053 01:15:05,260 --> 01:15:07,594 What would truly make you happy? 1054 01:15:08,716 --> 01:15:11,465 Winning the 50,000 dollars, going to grad school, 1055 01:15:11,506 --> 01:15:12,839 and living your dream.. 1056 01:15:13,878 --> 01:15:16,294 or you beating me? 1057 01:15:25,074 --> 01:15:26,824 Congratulations. 1058 01:15:26,907 --> 01:15:28,613 You're going to grad school. 1059 01:15:31,985 --> 01:15:33,816 1060 01:15:33,857 --> 01:15:35,857 1061 01:15:35,938 --> 01:15:37,978 1062 01:15:38,020 --> 01:15:39,396 Why? 1063 01:15:41,559 --> 01:15:43,806 Like you said, I don't need the money. 1064 01:15:47,136 --> 01:15:50,591 Why put me through all of this if you're not going to compete? 1065 01:15:53,379 --> 01:15:54,922 I was bored I guess. 1066 01:15:56,628 --> 01:15:58,252 That's your problem now. 1067 01:15:58,292 --> 01:16:01,415 Live life as a competition and you'll lose everytime. 1068 01:16:03,786 --> 01:16:06,285 You just said that life was a beauty pageant. 1069 01:16:08,739 --> 01:16:11,530 I'm talking a mess, a lot. 1070 01:16:11,612 --> 01:16:13,403 Don't take it to heart. 1071 01:16:14,485 --> 01:16:17,607 Except for the shit that men being dogs. 1072 01:16:17,689 --> 01:16:20,313 Yeah, that shit is the truth. 1073 01:16:54,237 --> 01:16:55,735 Where did you find that? 1074 01:16:58,315 --> 01:17:00,231 Under the fish tank. 1075 01:17:02,228 --> 01:17:04,020 What are you going to do? 1076 01:17:05,641 --> 01:17:07,016 Kill me? 1077 01:17:08,264 --> 01:17:10,305 Is that you wanted, wouldn't you? 1078 01:17:12,135 --> 01:17:14,342 You were so not happy. 1079 01:17:15,381 --> 01:17:18,131 If you were happy, you wouldn't treat me like this. 1080 01:17:19,710 --> 01:17:21,959 Nice cabinet are full of amphetamines. 1081 01:17:23,124 --> 01:17:25,497 You might be right, Janie. 1082 01:17:28,119 --> 01:17:29,742 What are you waiting for? 1083 01:17:31,992 --> 01:17:33,284 Shoot me. 1084 01:17:34,489 --> 01:17:35,946 Just fucking do it. 1085 01:17:36,029 --> 01:17:37,654 Come on. 1086 01:17:37,736 --> 01:17:39,068 Shoot me. 1087 01:17:41,482 --> 01:17:43,356 Your boyfriend wants to fuck me. 1088 01:17:43,438 --> 01:17:46,809 I killed your fucking stupid dog. 1089 01:17:46,850 --> 01:17:49,266 Come on, shoot me. Shoot me, Janie. 1090 01:17:49,306 --> 01:17:50,973 Come on! Do it! 1091 01:17:51,055 --> 01:17:53,221 Fucking kill me. Fucking shoot me, Janie! 1092 01:17:53,303 --> 01:17:55,468 Janie, do it! What do you scare? 1093 01:17:55,550 --> 01:17:57,175 Shoot me! 1094 01:17:57,258 --> 01:17:58,757 Shoot me! Come on! 1095 01:17:58,838 --> 01:18:01,295 Shoot me! 1096 01:18:07,082 --> 01:18:09,995 I bought it in Olivera street. 1097 01:18:10,077 --> 01:18:11,910 It's cool, huh? 1098 01:18:18,610 --> 01:18:19,818 Wait a sec. 1099 01:18:20,985 --> 01:18:23,441 You didn't fucking know that was a fake. 1100 01:18:23,523 --> 01:18:25,398 You fucking tried to kill me! 1101 01:18:25,480 --> 01:18:28,144 - I just wanted to wound you. - You fucking bitch! 1102 01:18:54,202 --> 01:18:55,535 1103 01:19:06,479 --> 01:19:08,020 Oh, fuck it. 1104 01:19:16,637 --> 01:19:18,554 Fuck. 1105 01:19:23,047 --> 01:19:26,545 We're totally not getting our deposit back. 1106 01:19:27,584 --> 01:19:29,043 Shit. 1107 01:19:40,155 --> 01:19:41,988 Why did you want me to live with you? 1108 01:19:44,693 --> 01:19:46,566 I thought I could fix you. 1109 01:19:46,648 --> 01:19:49,563 Like a project. 1110 01:19:54,391 --> 01:19:56,514 You're such a bitch. 1111 01:19:56,596 --> 01:19:59,222 You might think it's so easy 1112 01:19:59,304 --> 01:20:00,887 to be me. 1113 01:20:02,218 --> 01:20:04,508 I do. 1114 01:20:07,629 --> 01:20:10,001 Girl, it's a goddamn nightmare. 1115 01:20:15,496 --> 01:20:16,953 Do you want to trade places? 1116 01:20:22,280 --> 01:20:23,738 Nope. 1117 01:20:33,851 --> 01:20:35,226 This will kill you. 1118 01:20:35,308 --> 01:20:38,348 One's not gonna kill you. Come on, live a little. 1119 01:20:59,867 --> 01:21:01,242 Got it. 1120 01:21:04,155 --> 01:21:05,530 It's awful. 1121 01:21:09,567 --> 01:21:10,942 1122 01:21:21 --> 01:21:24