1
00:00:27,920 --> 00:00:29,550
I don't know about you,

2
00:00:29,600 --> 00:00:32,270
but to me there's something
a bit funny about tortoises.

3
00:00:32,320 --> 00:00:34,830
The way even
the teenagers are wrinkly.

4
00:00:34,880 --> 00:00:37,230
I bet that leads to some
awkward moments.

5
00:00:37,280 --> 00:00:39,750
"Oh, Brian, I love you so much.
How old are you?"

6
00:00:39,800 --> 00:00:42,270
"I'm 17. How old are you, Janet?"

7
00:00:42,320 --> 00:00:46,110
"I'm 86." "Goodness me. You're old
enough to be my grandmother."

8
00:00:46,160 --> 00:00:47,550
"Yeah, actually, Brian,

9
00:00:47,600 --> 00:00:49,670
~ "I ~ AM ~ your grandmother."

10
00:00:49,720 --> 00:00:51,630
But the story I want to tell you,

11
00:00:51,680 --> 00:00:55,230
although it does involve tortoises,
it doesn't begin with a tortoise.

12
00:00:55,280 --> 00:00:58,470
It begins with a man
called Mr Hoppy.

13
00:00:58,520 --> 00:01:01,470
'Mr Hoppy, the hero of our story,

14
00:01:01,520 --> 00:01:06,230
'lived in a nice flat
in an apartment block in London.

15
00:01:06,280 --> 00:01:09,870
'There are three things
you should know about Mr Hoppy.

16
00:01:09,920 --> 00:01:11,750
'He's kind...

17
00:01:11,800 --> 00:01:13,830
'he's shy...

18
00:01:13,880 --> 00:01:17,270
'and most importantly -
he's not that guy in the hat.'

19
00:01:17,320 --> 00:01:19,870
Oh, are you OK,
Mr Mavrokoukoudopolous?

20
00:01:19,920 --> 00:01:21,430
'He's the man in the lift.'

21
00:01:21,480 --> 00:01:25,600
No rush, Mr Mavrokoukoudopolous.
I'm holding the door.

22
00:01:27,680 --> 00:01:29,510
~ Take your ti...
~ Whoa!

23
00:01:29,560 --> 00:01:30,600
Ah!

24
00:01:42,160 --> 00:01:44,230
You care for a crisp, Mr Pringle?

25
00:01:44,280 --> 00:01:46,480
Ah, yes.

26
00:01:49,360 --> 00:01:51,190
Lovely.

27
00:01:51,240 --> 00:01:54,110
'And don't worry if he doesn't look
the flashiest of fellows.

28
00:01:54,160 --> 00:01:56,190
'I've learnt
that very often in life,

29
00:01:56,240 --> 00:01:57,830
'it's the quiet, unassuming ones

30
00:01:57,880 --> 00:02:00,240
'who turn out to be
the most interesting.'

31
00:02:12,840 --> 00:02:14,240
I'll have to fix that.

32
00:02:19,960 --> 00:02:24,390
MUSIC FROM STEREO: A Kiss To Build
A Dream On by Louis Armstrong

33
00:02:26,680 --> 00:02:29,430
♪ Give me
a kiss to build a dream on... ♪

34
00:02:29,480 --> 00:02:32,430
'I think we can safely say
Mr Hoppy lives alone.

35
00:02:32,480 --> 00:02:34,630
'Either that or his family
are very small eaters

36
00:02:34,680 --> 00:02:37,030
'and all having a sleep
at the moment.'

37
00:02:37,080 --> 00:02:39,070
Bom bom bom...

38
00:02:39,120 --> 00:02:42,560
'No. He lives alone.'

39
00:02:48,840 --> 00:02:52,110
♪ Give me a kiss
before you leave me... ♪

40
00:02:52,160 --> 00:02:53,430
'But don't worry,

41
00:02:53,480 --> 00:02:56,190
'this isn't going to be one of
those stories where a lonely bloke

42
00:02:56,240 --> 00:02:57,910
'wanders around a flat for two hours

43
00:02:57,960 --> 00:03:00,670
'and then dies alone
of a horrible disease.

44
00:03:00,720 --> 00:03:05,710
'It's going to be full of passion
and surprises -

45
00:03:05,760 --> 00:03:08,550
'as indeed is our Mr Hoppy.'

46
00:03:11,040 --> 00:03:14,360
Raspberry Cream,
meet Wisley Vanilla.

47
00:03:51,040 --> 00:03:56,110
♪ Oh, give me your lips
for just a moment

48
00:03:56,160 --> 00:03:59,510
♪ And my imagination

49
00:03:59,560 --> 00:04:02,190
♪ Will make that moment live

50
00:04:02,240 --> 00:04:06,830
♪ Oh, give me what you alone can give

51
00:04:06,880 --> 00:04:13,710
♪ A kiss to build a dream on. ♪

52
00:04:13,760 --> 00:04:17,710
The truth is there were
two loves in Mr Hoppy's life.

53
00:04:17,760 --> 00:04:19,270
One was his flowers

54
00:04:19,320 --> 00:04:22,350
and the other was a secret love
he kept all to himself.

55
00:04:22,400 --> 00:04:24,190
And like so many secrets,

56
00:04:24,240 --> 00:04:27,830
it was the most important thing
of all about him.

57
00:04:27,880 --> 00:04:30,590
Because Mr Hoppy was in love...

58
00:04:30,640 --> 00:04:32,320
with the girl downstairs.

59
00:04:37,800 --> 00:04:39,390
Good morning, Mr Hoppy.

60
00:04:39,440 --> 00:04:40,680
Ah.

61
00:04:43,000 --> 00:04:44,990
Mrs Silver.

62
00:04:45,040 --> 00:04:46,240
Hello.

63
00:04:49,320 --> 00:04:50,600
Hello.

64
00:04:53,160 --> 00:04:57,390
By the way, our story
is mainly concerned with this -

65
00:04:57,440 --> 00:04:58,750
the second love.

66
00:04:58,800 --> 00:05:02,110
If you want to find out about the
flowers, watch Gardeners' World.

67
00:05:02,160 --> 00:05:05,110
I mean, I like plants as much as the
next bloke, but this is very much

68
00:05:05,160 --> 00:05:08,790
not a "will or won't the dahlias
blossom before the frost kicks in?"

69
00:05:08,840 --> 00:05:09,950
type of thing.

70
00:05:10,000 --> 00:05:12,110
Oh, wait, I think that's mine. Hey!

71
00:05:12,160 --> 00:05:13,200
Hey!

72
00:05:16,640 --> 00:05:20,190
Another absolutely gorgeous morning.

73
00:05:20,240 --> 00:05:22,510
Yes. Gorgeous. Absolutely.

74
00:05:22,560 --> 00:05:24,030
Another one of them.

75
00:05:24,080 --> 00:05:26,670
The sort of weather that makes me
want to just

76
00:05:26,720 --> 00:05:30,070
take off all my clothes and
dive naked into the nearest lake.

77
00:05:30,120 --> 00:05:31,680
Don't you think, Mr Hoppy?

78
00:05:34,360 --> 00:05:35,670
~ Mr Hoppy? ~ Yes.

79
00:05:35,720 --> 00:05:37,390
Yes, yes.

80
00:05:37,440 --> 00:05:40,150
Perfect weather for jumping
into lakes

81
00:05:40,200 --> 00:05:42,190
wearing very little.

82
00:05:42,240 --> 00:05:44,990
'Sadly, Mr Hoppy was so shy,

83
00:05:45,040 --> 00:05:48,350
'he couldn't even ask Mrs Silver
round for a cup of tea...'

84
00:05:48,400 --> 00:05:51,120
let alone dive stark naked
into a lake with her.

85
00:05:53,640 --> 00:05:55,830
But he loved her.

86
00:05:55,880 --> 00:05:59,390
And he remembered the precise moment
he'd fallen in love.

87
00:05:59,440 --> 00:06:03,510
'Which happened to be
the first moment he ever met her -

88
00:06:03,560 --> 00:06:04,760
'five years ago.'

89
00:06:06,440 --> 00:06:07,960
Hold that lift!

90
00:06:10,040 --> 00:06:12,830
Oh, thank you so much,
you darling man.

91
00:06:12,880 --> 00:06:14,550
Oh, they won't be long.

92
00:06:14,600 --> 00:06:16,630
~ What floor are you?
~ Four.

93
00:06:16,680 --> 00:06:19,870
Oh, isn't that lucky?
I'm moving in on three, below you.

94
00:06:19,920 --> 00:06:22,270
I hope you're not
one of those rowdy types,

95
00:06:22,320 --> 00:06:24,790
keeping me up all night
with your hip-hop stylings.

96
00:06:24,840 --> 00:06:27,030
No. But my name is Mr Hoppy,
in fact.

97
00:06:27,080 --> 00:06:31,030
Hoppy. Oh, what a gorgeous name!

98
00:06:31,080 --> 00:06:33,710
And do I detect a little
American accent there?

99
00:06:33,760 --> 00:06:35,390
Well, yes, I am an American.

100
00:06:35,440 --> 00:06:38,190
Oh, how divine.
Oh, you're a gorgeous bunch.

101
00:06:38,240 --> 00:06:40,270
From Cary Grant to Paul Newman,

102
00:06:40,320 --> 00:06:42,750
I can't keep my hands
off the lot of you!

103
00:06:42,800 --> 00:06:47,110
Oh, I'm Mrs Silver. Lavinia.
Facebook status - widowed.

104
00:06:47,160 --> 00:06:50,870
Ah. My Facebook status is
"I'm not in the Facebook".

105
00:06:50,920 --> 00:06:52,550
No. Too busy living, I expect.

106
00:06:52,600 --> 00:06:54,800
Oh, come in, boys.
We've held the lift.

107
00:06:55,880 --> 00:06:57,040
Come in.

108
00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:01,910
Would it be easier
if I maybe took the next one,

109
00:07:01,960 --> 00:07:03,510
give you a little more room?

110
00:07:03,560 --> 00:07:05,440
No, no, it's just getting cosy!

111
00:07:10,760 --> 00:07:12,870
Wonderfully quiet lift.

112
00:07:12,920 --> 00:07:14,840
~ That's very good news. ~ Yes.

113
00:07:16,480 --> 00:07:19,270
I don't think anyone's
actually pushed a button yet.

114
00:07:19,320 --> 00:07:20,590
Oh!

115
00:07:20,640 --> 00:07:23,240
I'm such a silly sausage sometimes.

116
00:07:24,760 --> 00:07:26,550
Ooh!

117
00:07:26,600 --> 00:07:28,670
You're four. I'm three.

118
00:07:28,720 --> 00:07:31,670
Perhaps I should press two
and one as well and give us

119
00:07:31,720 --> 00:07:33,550
more time to get to know each other.

120
00:07:33,600 --> 00:07:36,550
'He never forgot
that first brief encounter'

121
00:07:36,600 --> 00:07:38,870
and every time
he met her from then on

122
00:07:38,920 --> 00:07:41,990
just made him love her even more.
Summer.

123
00:07:47,440 --> 00:07:51,000
Don't you just love it
when summer finally comes?

124
00:07:53,040 --> 00:07:54,270
Autumn.

125
00:07:54,320 --> 00:07:55,440
Oh.

126
00:07:57,640 --> 00:08:00,750
Always such a relief
when summer's over.

127
00:08:00,800 --> 00:08:02,150
Mm.

128
00:08:02,200 --> 00:08:03,520
'Winter.'

129
00:08:05,040 --> 00:08:07,760
This is so much
my favourite time of year.

130
00:08:10,440 --> 00:08:11,680
Spring.

131
00:08:14,400 --> 00:08:16,590
Oh.

132
00:08:16,640 --> 00:08:18,120
Spring at last!

133
00:08:24,200 --> 00:08:26,830
Doing something special tonight,
Mrs Silver?

134
00:08:26,880 --> 00:08:30,230
Us midwives are going out
for a good old knees-up.

135
00:08:30,280 --> 00:08:33,470
Funny when you think of it -
when we spent our entire careers

136
00:08:33,520 --> 00:08:36,670
extracting babies from women
lying with their knees up.

137
00:08:36,720 --> 00:08:40,870
Oh... I...
I didn't know you were a midwife.

138
00:08:40,920 --> 00:08:42,110
Retired.

139
00:08:42,160 --> 00:08:44,550
I just thought
if I can't have kids myself,

140
00:08:44,600 --> 00:08:46,950
I might as well just help others
to have them.

141
00:08:47,000 --> 00:08:49,070
How wonderful.

142
00:08:49,120 --> 00:08:51,830
Well, perhaps you could come with me,
Mr Hoppy?

143
00:08:51,880 --> 00:08:54,630
~ You could waltz me off my feet.
~ Oh, no. I... I...

144
00:08:54,680 --> 00:08:57,230
~ I'm not a dancer.
~ Nonsense.

145
00:08:57,280 --> 00:08:59,750
There's no such thing
as "not a dancer" -

146
00:08:59,800 --> 00:09:03,670
just a person who's never found
the right girl to dance with.

147
00:09:03,720 --> 00:09:08,070
You're American, for heaven's sake -
the land that brought us

148
00:09:08,120 --> 00:09:10,630
Fred Astaire and John Travolta
and...

149
00:09:10,680 --> 00:09:13,350
that naughty little
Justin Timberlake.

150
00:09:13,400 --> 00:09:14,790
I know you can dance.

151
00:09:14,840 --> 00:09:16,870
~ No, no, I can't.
~ Can!

152
00:09:16,920 --> 00:09:18,510
No, I can't.

153
00:09:18,560 --> 00:09:19,910
Can!

154
00:09:19,960 --> 00:09:21,510
No, I really can't.

155
00:09:21,560 --> 00:09:23,390
You bloody well can!

156
00:09:27,320 --> 00:09:31,270
'He loved her and
longed for her to love him back

157
00:09:31,320 --> 00:09:34,270
'but there really were
a lot of problems.

158
00:09:34,320 --> 00:09:38,830
'For one thing, unlike Mr Hoppy,
Mrs Silver didn't live alone.

159
00:09:38,880 --> 00:09:43,590
'Well, she did for a while, but
then she did something about it.'

160
00:09:45,120 --> 00:09:47,080
Ooh, ooh, ooh!

161
00:09:52,120 --> 00:09:54,440
Oh! Well, hooray!

162
00:09:56,000 --> 00:10:00,310
This is honestly the most
exciting moment of my life.

163
00:10:00,360 --> 00:10:02,110
Come in. Come in!

164
00:10:02,160 --> 00:10:04,710
'She just went
and got herself a new chap.'

165
00:10:04,760 --> 00:10:06,750
A chap called Alfie.

166
00:10:06,800 --> 00:10:13,880
Well... you are more gorgeous than
I could possibly have dreamed.

167
00:10:17,160 --> 00:10:22,630
Oh, my darling. What heaven.

168
00:10:22,680 --> 00:10:25,840
We're going to have
such a wonderful life together.

169
00:10:30,480 --> 00:10:33,390
'From then on,
Mrs Silver dedicated all her love

170
00:10:33,440 --> 00:10:36,110
'and attention to her
wrinkly companion.

171
00:10:36,160 --> 00:10:39,550
'And although he wasn't the
world's greatest conversationalist,

172
00:10:39,600 --> 00:10:42,030
'she did quite enough talking
for the both of them.'

173
00:10:42,080 --> 00:10:45,630
Look, Alfie,
that's me on my wedding day.

174
00:10:45,680 --> 00:10:49,750
I'm not so sure about that dress
any longer.

175
00:10:49,800 --> 00:10:52,470
Rather too much bust, I think
you'll agree.

176
00:10:53,760 --> 00:10:56,840
Oh, and that chap there -
that's my husband.

177
00:10:59,760 --> 00:11:02,630
Look how tall he is. 6'3".

178
00:11:02,680 --> 00:11:05,550
I only came up to his chest hair.

179
00:11:05,600 --> 00:11:08,430
I never once saw
the top of his head.

180
00:11:08,480 --> 00:11:10,040
More a giant than a man.

181
00:11:11,960 --> 00:11:14,190
A wonderful posture.

182
00:11:14,240 --> 00:11:18,150
He was a perfect English gent...

183
00:11:18,200 --> 00:11:20,470
and a prize-winning dancer.

184
00:11:20,520 --> 00:11:22,560
Oh, he was so, so kind.

185
00:11:24,240 --> 00:11:26,870
The things we were going to do.
And the...

186
00:11:26,920 --> 00:11:29,360
places we were going to go
and the...

187
00:11:31,440 --> 00:11:33,480
.. life we were going to lead.

188
00:11:46,120 --> 00:11:51,110
Oh, that's enough of me gabbing on.
You must be exhausted.

189
00:11:51,160 --> 00:11:53,320
Time for your nap, my gorgeous.

190
00:12:00,080 --> 00:12:03,630
I love you so much. I really do.

191
00:12:03,680 --> 00:12:06,630
Even your little stubby legs.

192
00:12:11,280 --> 00:12:14,830
Our love will last a lifetime,
Alfie.

193
00:12:14,880 --> 00:12:16,870
Sweet dreams.

194
00:12:16,920 --> 00:12:20,470
'Oh, how Mr Hoppy wished
she was saying those words to him.'

195
00:12:20,520 --> 00:12:23,150
Not the ones about the little
stubby legs, obviously,

196
00:12:23,200 --> 00:12:25,470
but the others, about love.

197
00:12:25,520 --> 00:12:28,030
His life was now terribly
complicated -

198
00:12:28,080 --> 00:12:31,150
head over heels in love with
a woman whose only interest in life

199
00:12:31,200 --> 00:12:33,070
was a small tortoise.

200
00:12:33,120 --> 00:12:36,680
If only he could find the words
to convince her of his love.

201
00:12:38,000 --> 00:12:41,510
If only I'd been paying attention.
I think I'm on the wrong bus.

202
00:12:41,560 --> 00:12:43,270
That's the problem with stories.

203
00:12:43,320 --> 00:12:45,470
You get swept up in them,
you lose track.

204
00:12:45,520 --> 00:12:48,070
Does he get anywhere?
Does she fall in love with him?

205
00:12:48,120 --> 00:12:50,230
You're going to have to wait,
I'm afraid.

206
00:12:51,400 --> 00:12:53,510
Mr Hoppy knew
he had to say something.

207
00:12:53,560 --> 00:12:56,040
He had to tell her how he felt.

208
00:12:57,800 --> 00:12:59,280
Hello.

209
00:13:01,320 --> 00:13:02,430
Again.

210
00:13:02,480 --> 00:13:05,070
Isn't this perfect?

211
00:13:05,120 --> 00:13:08,110
Grab joy while you can, I say.

212
00:13:08,160 --> 00:13:09,630
Oh...

213
00:13:09,680 --> 00:13:11,870
You're right, completely right.

214
00:13:11,920 --> 00:13:16,950
And I was... just thinking...

215
00:13:17,000 --> 00:13:19,230
wondering, uh...

216
00:13:19,280 --> 00:13:21,470
whether...

217
00:13:21,520 --> 00:13:24,950
And the thing of it is,
we've been neighbours for years.

218
00:13:25,000 --> 00:13:27,310
You live alone and I live alone...

219
00:13:28,960 --> 00:13:31,240
I just wondered whether...

220
00:13:32,600 --> 00:13:34,000
.. you know...

221
00:13:37,440 --> 00:13:39,990
Oh, no, you're...

222
00:13:40,040 --> 00:13:43,560
You're right, best,
best leave things as they are.

223
00:13:48,320 --> 00:13:49,830
On the contrary,

224
00:13:49,880 --> 00:13:52,030
I think you've got
a very good point.

225
00:13:52,080 --> 00:13:55,350
It's high time
we got to know each other.

226
00:13:55,400 --> 00:13:57,390
How about dinner tonight?

227
00:13:57,440 --> 00:13:59,630
~ That's very kind of...
~ Excellent.

228
00:13:59,680 --> 00:14:01,230
I'll pop round about six.

229
00:14:01,280 --> 00:14:04,560
Open-neck shirt, possibly, give you
a glimpse of the old tan, eh?

230
00:14:13,320 --> 00:14:14,710
Yummy.

231
00:14:14,760 --> 00:14:19,270
So, Hoppy, it's wonderful
to have a chance to really,

232
00:14:19,320 --> 00:14:21,070
really get to know you.

233
00:14:21,120 --> 00:14:23,550
Find out about the man
behind the mask, as it were.

234
00:14:23,600 --> 00:14:24,750
Yes, well, I...

235
00:14:24,800 --> 00:14:27,510
It's so easy, in life,
to pass people in the lift

236
00:14:27,560 --> 00:14:30,750
and never really get to grips with
who they are, where they come from.

237
00:14:30,800 --> 00:14:33,270
~ That's so true.
~ So, tell me everything -

238
00:14:33,320 --> 00:14:36,510
where you were born, where
you grew up, what job you did,

239
00:14:36,560 --> 00:14:40,070
love, life, back problems -
the whole caboodle.

240
00:14:40,120 --> 00:14:42,990
~ Well, start at the beginning.
~ Well... ~ Born?

241
00:14:43,040 --> 00:14:44,470
Well, yes, I was born...

242
00:14:44,520 --> 00:14:46,230
Never match my story, I suspect.

243
00:14:46,280 --> 00:14:49,350
I was born in the back
of a Volkswagen Beetle

244
00:14:49,400 --> 00:14:50,710
on Waterloo Bridge.

245
00:14:50,760 --> 00:14:54,190
~ Oh. ~ Dad went over a speed bump
and out I plopped.

246
00:14:54,240 --> 00:14:56,190
Well, that's his story anyway.

247
00:14:56,240 --> 00:14:58,710
~ Oh, well, I-I-I...
~ It was downhill from there, really.

248
00:14:58,760 --> 00:15:00,550
Dad was in sausages,
we moved to Germany.

249
00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:02,830
I spent from two until eight

250
00:15:02,880 --> 00:15:06,430
feasting on frankfurters
und bratwurst,

251
00:15:06,480 --> 00:15:09,990
and then sent straight back here
to boarding school.

252
00:15:10,040 --> 00:15:11,320
You board?

253
00:15:12,480 --> 00:15:14,430
~ No, no...
~ Got used to it, though.

254
00:15:14,480 --> 00:15:17,070
Made a wonderful friend, Isherwood.

255
00:15:17,120 --> 00:15:19,070
Huge feet...

256
00:15:19,120 --> 00:15:20,590
tiny ears.

257
00:15:20,640 --> 00:15:21,870
Are you done?

258
00:15:21,920 --> 00:15:24,990
So there I was, assistant manager.

259
00:15:25,040 --> 00:15:26,430
Only 23.

260
00:15:26,480 --> 00:15:30,430
Still allergic to cats,
unfortunately, but...

261
00:15:30,480 --> 00:15:34,190
"You must be joking, Giles," I said,
and walked straight out,

262
00:15:34,240 --> 00:15:36,750
still in full Wonder Woman
costume...

263
00:15:36,800 --> 00:15:38,870
A whole octopus!

264
00:15:42,960 --> 00:15:46,590
But that's enough about me -
what about you?

265
00:15:47,960 --> 00:15:51,230
~ Well, we may have to do me
next time. ~ Nonsense.

266
00:15:51,280 --> 00:15:54,750
What brought you to England?
The full story.

267
00:15:54,800 --> 00:15:56,240
OK. Ah.

268
00:15:57,880 --> 00:16:00,150
My parents brought me here
when I was ten...

269
00:16:00,200 --> 00:16:03,190
~ No, you're right. ~ Unfortunately...
~ It's too late.

270
00:16:03,240 --> 00:16:06,990
Let's do same time next month.

271
00:16:07,040 --> 00:16:08,480
It's all about you.

272
00:16:11,600 --> 00:16:14,950
But don't let me forget to tell you
about the Alsatian

273
00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:16,750
and my corduroy trousers.

274
00:16:23,080 --> 00:16:26,240
Well. That's the way it goes,
I guess.

275
00:16:32,280 --> 00:16:35,920
'Mr Hoppy went to bed that night
feeling terribly alone.

276
00:16:37,360 --> 00:16:40,390
'Knowing in his bones
that he always would be alone.

277
00:16:40,440 --> 00:16:42,990
'No Mrs Silver for him.'

278
00:16:43,040 --> 00:16:44,030
Ow!

279
00:16:44,080 --> 00:16:46,110
'He couldn't help but wonder,

280
00:16:46,160 --> 00:16:48,750
'is this all there is?

281
00:16:48,800 --> 00:16:53,310
'Old age is scary and all downhill.'

282
00:17:07,520 --> 00:17:11,470
But the very next morning,
a conversation occurred

283
00:17:11,520 --> 00:17:14,070
that changed Mr Hoppy's life.

284
00:17:14,120 --> 00:17:18,190
Good morning, Mrs Silver.
Alfie's looking well this morning.

285
00:17:18,240 --> 00:17:19,550
Likes his food.

286
00:17:19,600 --> 00:17:23,080
Yes. Well, we both live in hope.

287
00:17:24,440 --> 00:17:26,270
Oh.

288
00:17:26,320 --> 00:17:28,710
What are you both hoping for?

289
00:17:28,760 --> 00:17:31,350
Well, obviously,
that he'll grow a little faster.

290
00:17:31,400 --> 00:17:33,630
Every month I weigh him
on the kitchen scales,

291
00:17:33,680 --> 00:17:34,910
he never puts on an ounce.

292
00:17:34,960 --> 00:17:37,590
Well, no, I believe tortoises
come in different sizes.

293
00:17:37,640 --> 00:17:40,870
There's nothing wrong with Alfie
being one of the small ones.

294
00:17:40,920 --> 00:17:42,630
Oh, don't be silly.

295
00:17:42,680 --> 00:17:45,950
Just think how miserable it must
make him to feel so titchy.

296
00:17:46,000 --> 00:17:47,110
Mm.

297
00:17:47,160 --> 00:17:52,110
We've been stuck on 13oz
since the day he arrived.

298
00:17:52,160 --> 00:17:55,200
Didn't you want to be taller
when you were growing up?

299
00:17:56,320 --> 00:17:58,550
I guess I did.

300
00:17:58,600 --> 00:18:00,550
Yes.

301
00:18:00,600 --> 00:18:01,800
When...

302
00:18:03,040 --> 00:18:06,190
When I was a kid,
I used to wear thick socks to bed.

303
00:18:06,240 --> 00:18:09,390
~ What, to make yourself grow taller?
~ Right.

304
00:18:09,440 --> 00:18:11,830
I actually read that
"The warmer your feet,

305
00:18:11,880 --> 00:18:14,030
"the deeper you sleep,
the more you grow."

306
00:18:14,080 --> 00:18:17,310
But sadly, all I got was...

307
00:18:17,360 --> 00:18:18,800
stinky feet.

308
00:18:21,040 --> 00:18:24,270
Oh, no... Well, I was tiny too.

309
00:18:24,320 --> 00:18:25,550
Oh.

310
00:18:25,600 --> 00:18:27,910
And then when I was 11,
a boy in my class told me

311
00:18:27,960 --> 00:18:29,670
that kissing made you grow taller.

312
00:18:29,720 --> 00:18:31,030
~ No! ~ Yes.

313
00:18:31,080 --> 00:18:33,680
So I paid him sixpence every day
to kiss me.

314
00:18:35,040 --> 00:18:37,150
Well, you have to hand it to him.

315
00:18:37,200 --> 00:18:40,590
And I did hand it to him.
On a plate.

316
00:18:40,640 --> 00:18:42,240
Every morning at break.

317
00:18:43,640 --> 00:18:47,790
Mind you, it did make me FEEL taller.

318
00:18:47,840 --> 00:18:50,600
A kiss does that,
don't you think, Mr Hoppy?

319
00:18:52,360 --> 00:18:55,550
I believe it does.

320
00:18:55,600 --> 00:18:57,310
Oh, no.

321
00:18:57,360 --> 00:18:59,670
Size is very important.

322
00:18:59,720 --> 00:19:03,960
And Alfie's just at the beginning
of his size journey.

323
00:19:10,200 --> 00:19:13,470
'That was the seed
that planted the idea.'

324
00:19:13,520 --> 00:19:17,430
And the next day, it got a proper,
full-scale watering.

325
00:19:17,480 --> 00:19:19,950
Alfie any bigger today, Mrs S?

326
00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:21,160
Not a jot.

327
00:19:22,520 --> 00:19:25,560
But I am knitting him
some little socks, just in case.

328
00:19:27,200 --> 00:19:28,750
But I'm not giving up.

329
00:19:28,800 --> 00:19:32,310
One day, I'll find the right food,
and the right exercise regime,

330
00:19:32,360 --> 00:19:34,150
and the right vitamin supplement,

331
00:19:34,200 --> 00:19:36,230
probably something to do
with fish oil.

332
00:19:36,280 --> 00:19:39,030
Then at last we'll both be happy,
won't we, darling?

333
00:19:39,080 --> 00:19:44,990
So, you don't think you'll ever
be totally happy until he grows?

334
00:19:45,040 --> 00:19:47,630
I'm afraid not, Mr Hoppy.

335
00:19:47,680 --> 00:19:51,590
Come on, pipsqueak,
finish your strawberry.

336
00:19:51,640 --> 00:19:55,590
'And that night, the seed
that had been watered blossomed.

337
00:19:55,640 --> 00:19:59,750
'And in Mr Hoppy's brain flowered
a plan to make Mrs Silver happy.

338
00:19:59,800 --> 00:20:03,790
'And he thought if he could make
her happy then maybe, just maybe,

339
00:20:03,840 --> 00:20:06,480
'he might be worthy
of winning her heart.'

340
00:20:18,320 --> 00:20:19,720
Esio Trot.

341
00:21:02,800 --> 00:21:04,390
Mrs Silver.

342
00:21:04,440 --> 00:21:05,710
Oh, yes?

343
00:21:05,760 --> 00:21:07,750
I think I may just be able
to help with the

344
00:21:07,800 --> 00:21:09,510
Alfie-being-disappointedly-tiny

345
00:21:09,560 --> 00:21:11,390
month-after-month thing.

346
00:21:11,440 --> 00:21:13,110
Oh, Mr Hoppy.

347
00:21:13,160 --> 00:21:15,830
If only you could, I would love
you for the rest of my days.

348
00:21:15,880 --> 00:21:19,150
Oh. That'd be very nice.

349
00:21:19,200 --> 00:21:24,390
The thing is, last night,
I suddenly remembered a conversation

350
00:21:24,440 --> 00:21:26,750
I once had with a friend
at the airline

351
00:21:26,800 --> 00:21:28,510
who'd been a pilot in North Africa

352
00:21:28,560 --> 00:21:33,670
and he told me a conversation that
he once had with a Bedouin tribesman

353
00:21:33,720 --> 00:21:39,070
who told him an extraordinary
tortoise-size-related secret.

354
00:21:39,120 --> 00:21:41,710
~ Really?
~ Yes.

355
00:21:41,760 --> 00:21:44,110
Oh, tell me! I beg you, Mr Hoppy.

356
00:21:44,160 --> 00:21:45,280
Mrs Silver...

357
00:21:48,920 --> 00:21:53,590
.. I am going to lower this...

358
00:21:53,640 --> 00:21:55,040
this piece of paper.

359
00:21:57,000 --> 00:21:59,950
And, by the way, you were right.

360
00:22:00,000 --> 00:22:02,670
Alfie can get bigger. But...

361
00:22:02,720 --> 00:22:04,150
you must read this.

362
00:22:04,200 --> 00:22:07,030
How exciting! What is it?

363
00:22:07,080 --> 00:22:09,990
It's a Bedouin tortoise chant.

364
00:22:10,040 --> 00:22:11,280
Oh, good lord.

365
00:22:14,920 --> 00:22:20,390
"Esio Trot, Esio Trot...

366
00:22:20,440 --> 00:22:23,830
"teg reggib reggib..."

367
00:22:23,880 --> 00:22:26,670
Oh, I'm sorry, Mr Hoppy,

368
00:22:26,720 --> 00:22:29,430
I don't understand.
Is this in another language?

369
00:22:29,480 --> 00:22:30,910
Yes and no.

370
00:22:30,960 --> 00:22:33,880
Now, according to the Bedouin...

371
00:22:35,680 --> 00:22:38,550
.. tortoises are very
backwards creatures.

372
00:22:38,600 --> 00:22:42,230
So, therefore it's logical that
they would only understand words

373
00:22:42,280 --> 00:22:44,630
that are spoken backwards, you see.

374
00:22:44,680 --> 00:22:48,350
Oh, I see. So "Esio Trot"
is "tortoise" backwards.

375
00:22:48,400 --> 00:22:50,750
~ Yes. ~ Oh! Oh, yes.

376
00:22:50,800 --> 00:22:52,990
"Esio Trot, Esio Trot..." Yes.

377
00:22:53,040 --> 00:22:57,030
"Emoc no, Esio Trot.

378
00:22:57,080 --> 00:22:59,110
"Worg pu...

379
00:22:59,160 --> 00:23:02,590
".. ffup pu, toohs pu."

380
00:23:02,640 --> 00:23:04,350
There's a lot of "pu's" in it.

381
00:23:04,400 --> 00:23:08,430
Yes. Yes. Yes. Pu is a
very powerful word in any language.

382
00:23:08,480 --> 00:23:12,390
Are you having me on, Mr Hoppy?
Is this serious?

383
00:23:12,440 --> 00:23:16,070
Mrs Silver, I have never been
more serious in my life.

384
00:23:16,120 --> 00:23:19,950
Well... I suppose it could be true.

385
00:23:20,000 --> 00:23:21,510
The world's full of wonders.

386
00:23:21,560 --> 00:23:25,710
I once heard that a cockroach can
live for two weeks without a head.

387
00:23:25,760 --> 00:23:27,590
~ Is that right? ~ Well, apparently.

388
00:23:27,640 --> 00:23:29,390
And bats always turn left

389
00:23:29,440 --> 00:23:31,870
~ when they leave the cave.
~ Yes, I heard that.

390
00:23:31,920 --> 00:23:33,670
And dolphins understand French.

391
00:23:33,720 --> 00:23:37,350
~ Really?
~ So, I suppose this could work.

392
00:23:37,400 --> 00:23:42,110
What this is really saying is
"Tortoise, tortoise,

393
00:23:42,160 --> 00:23:44,110
"get bigger, bigger."

394
00:23:44,160 --> 00:23:45,910
Er...

395
00:23:45,960 --> 00:23:47,950
"Grow up, puff up, shoot up" -

396
00:23:48,000 --> 00:23:49,670
not what they mean these days.

397
00:23:49,720 --> 00:23:51,110
Oh, that's a relief.

398
00:23:51,160 --> 00:23:54,070
"Spring up", "blow up"...

399
00:23:54,120 --> 00:23:56,070
Again, not the violent version.

400
00:23:56,120 --> 00:23:57,830
"Swell up."

401
00:23:57,880 --> 00:23:59,400
Um, er...

402
00:24:00,720 --> 00:24:05,550
"Gorge, guzzle, stuff, gulp.

403
00:24:05,600 --> 00:24:08,350
"Put on fat, tortoise, put on fat.

404
00:24:08,400 --> 00:24:10,910
"Get on! Get on!

405
00:24:10,960 --> 00:24:12,510
"Gobble food."

406
00:24:12,560 --> 00:24:13,560
That's it.

407
00:24:15,240 --> 00:24:16,950
And if my memory serves me correct,

408
00:24:17,000 --> 00:24:20,110
my friend told me that all you have
to do is pick up little Alfie

409
00:24:20,160 --> 00:24:22,790
right up to your face
and say it three times a day,

410
00:24:22,840 --> 00:24:23,990
morning, noon and night.

411
00:24:24,040 --> 00:24:26,160
~ And if you do it...
~ What time at night?

412
00:24:27,520 --> 00:24:28,870
Before dinner.

413
00:24:28,920 --> 00:24:31,390
~ And if you do it properly...
~ His dinner or my dinner?

414
00:24:31,440 --> 00:24:33,350
~ Does it matter?
~ Well, you tell me.

415
00:24:33,400 --> 00:24:36,950
~ You're the one with all
the inside Bedouin knowledge. ~ Yes.

416
00:24:37,000 --> 00:24:39,630
Quite right.
Before your dinner.

417
00:24:39,680 --> 00:24:42,990
And I'm betting
that by the end of the month,

418
00:24:43,040 --> 00:24:45,470
he'll be twice the size he is now.

419
00:24:45,520 --> 00:24:48,150
And that's a conservative estimate,
Mrs Silver.

420
00:24:48,200 --> 00:24:52,310
Well, goodness. I can't believe it.

421
00:24:52,360 --> 00:24:55,430
But if it works, oh, Mr H,

422
00:24:55,480 --> 00:24:58,150
I'll never be able
to thank you enough.

423
00:24:58,200 --> 00:25:02,390
You'll be the marvellous man
who made all my dreams come true.

424
00:25:02,440 --> 00:25:04,720
Well, wouldn't that be wonderful?

425
00:25:07,280 --> 00:25:09,510
"Esio Trot, Esio Trot..."

426
00:25:09,560 --> 00:25:13,070
'Suddenly, for the first time ever,

427
00:25:13,120 --> 00:25:16,950
'the happiness of two human beings
rested entirely

428
00:25:17,000 --> 00:25:22,230
'on the possibility of a small
tortoise becoming a big tortoise.'

429
00:25:22,280 --> 00:25:25,950
Which, of course, was
a very serious issue indeed

430
00:25:26,000 --> 00:25:29,230
because what Mr Hoppy had devised
here was no simple thing.

431
00:25:29,280 --> 00:25:32,390
It was,
and I won't mince my words here,

432
00:25:32,440 --> 00:25:37,030
the greatest and most complicated
plan in the long and noble history

433
00:25:37,080 --> 00:25:39,640
of tortoise-based tale-telling.

434
00:25:45,480 --> 00:25:48,870
I have 16 tortoises for sale.
From small to large to enormous.

435
00:25:48,920 --> 00:25:51,590
Each one comes
with its own certificate,

436
00:25:51,640 --> 00:25:55,230
and you should know I do not sell
any animal without first

437
00:25:55,280 --> 00:25:59,510
assuring myself that it's going
to a good, caring home.

438
00:25:59,560 --> 00:26:02,950
~ How many do you want?
~ I'll take all 16.

439
00:26:03,000 --> 00:26:04,270
I'll bag 'em up.

440
00:26:04,320 --> 00:26:06,350
I don't really need
the enormous ones...

441
00:26:06,400 --> 00:26:08,320
I'll chuck 'em in for free anyway.

442
00:26:09,680 --> 00:26:12,880
All the big money is in
guinea pigs these days.

443
00:26:45,080 --> 00:26:49,080
~ I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.
~ That's all right.

444
00:27:03,200 --> 00:27:05,950
~ I don't actually have any tortoises.
~ OK.

445
00:27:06,000 --> 00:27:09,230
But I've got a lovely iguana
out back. You want to see it?

446
00:27:09,280 --> 00:27:11,030
It's tempting, but no.

447
00:27:11,080 --> 00:27:13,990
Or I've got a weasel going
very cheap-cheap cheap-cheap.

448
00:27:14,040 --> 00:27:15,390
I just need tortoises.

449
00:27:15,440 --> 00:27:17,510
I've got a snake -
I could chop it in half

450
00:27:17,560 --> 00:27:20,430
~ and put a seashell on its back.
~ It's lovely meeting you.

451
00:27:20,480 --> 00:27:24,510
Or I could shave a hedgehog.
No-one would ever know.

452
00:27:24,560 --> 00:27:25,800
I've done it before.

453
00:27:56,480 --> 00:27:57,960
That's probably enough.

454
00:28:00,880 --> 00:28:03,150
Oh, no! Go back.

455
00:28:03,200 --> 00:28:05,520
Go back. Go back.

456
00:28:07,440 --> 00:28:09,430
I really must fix that.

457
00:28:09,480 --> 00:28:13,030
'"Esio Trot, Esio Trot,'

458
00:28:13,080 --> 00:28:15,160
"teg reggib, reggib.

459
00:28:17,000 --> 00:28:22,110
"Worg pu, ffup pu, toohs pu,

460
00:28:22,160 --> 00:28:26,470
"gnirps pu, wolb pu..."

461
00:28:26,520 --> 00:28:30,400
Well, thank goodness I'm not asking
you to sip up anything.

462
00:28:32,360 --> 00:28:34,110
All right, darling,

463
00:28:34,160 --> 00:28:37,320
I'm just popping out to get you
some delicious cabbage.

464
00:28:43,400 --> 00:28:45,000
I'll be back in half an hour.

465
00:29:00,320 --> 00:29:02,000
Action time.

466
00:29:07,080 --> 00:29:08,600
OK.

467
00:29:09,880 --> 00:29:11,440
No - too heavy.

468
00:29:15,360 --> 00:29:16,640
Too light.

469
00:29:20,280 --> 00:29:23,200
Just perfect.
2oz more than Alfie.

470
00:29:24,800 --> 00:29:28,560
You, sir, are the chosen one.

471
00:29:37,600 --> 00:29:40,030
No! Or you're going back
to the pet shop.

472
00:29:40,080 --> 00:29:41,240
Stay there.

473
00:29:49,960 --> 00:29:51,800
OK, team...

474
00:29:53,520 --> 00:29:54,880
.. this is it.

475
00:30:13,160 --> 00:30:14,950
You can do this.

476
00:30:15,000 --> 00:30:16,520
You can do this.

477
00:30:19,000 --> 00:30:20,520
You can't do this.

478
00:30:22,360 --> 00:30:23,800
I can't do this.

479
00:30:29,040 --> 00:30:30,880
(Hang in there, Alfie 2.)

480
00:31:14,360 --> 00:31:15,480
Ah!

481
00:31:31,160 --> 00:31:32,400
Good afternoon.

482
00:31:34,320 --> 00:31:35,760
Sorry to bother you.

483
00:31:38,120 --> 00:31:41,870
My name is Mr Hoppy and I...

484
00:31:41,920 --> 00:31:44,270
I live a couple of floors up.

485
00:31:44,320 --> 00:31:46,870
Mummy says I mustn't talk
to strangers.

486
00:31:46,920 --> 00:31:49,630
No. Quite right. Well done, Mum.

487
00:31:49,680 --> 00:31:52,390
Are you about to offer me sweets
and then kidnap me?

488
00:31:52,440 --> 00:31:54,830
No, I'm not.

489
00:31:54,880 --> 00:31:56,710
That's a relief.

490
00:31:56,760 --> 00:32:00,790
But, as I said, I do...

491
00:32:00,840 --> 00:32:03,550
actually live in this building.

492
00:32:03,600 --> 00:32:05,030
I've never seen you.

493
00:32:05,080 --> 00:32:06,120
Well...

494
00:32:07,400 --> 00:32:09,630
.. I sort of keep myself to myself.

495
00:32:09,680 --> 00:32:11,430
Weirdos always do.

496
00:32:11,480 --> 00:32:16,070
Well, be that as it may,
do you think you could be a good boy

497
00:32:16,120 --> 00:32:19,990
and get your mummy to help me
onto your balcony?

498
00:32:20,040 --> 00:32:23,000
Why would I do that?
That would be a crazy thing to do.

499
00:32:30,040 --> 00:32:31,710
Mummy, Mummy, come and look.

500
00:32:31,760 --> 00:32:33,870
No, Philip.
I will not come and look.

501
00:32:33,920 --> 00:32:36,670
A nasty dwarf is NOT trying
to climb onto our balcony.

502
00:32:36,720 --> 00:32:40,080
~ But, Mummy! ~ No more scary movies
for you, young man.

503
00:32:43,760 --> 00:32:46,310
~ Mummy!
~ Philip, darling, I'm doing dinner.

504
00:32:46,360 --> 00:32:50,590
So Mr Hoppy decided
to abandon Plan A - the ladder.

505
00:32:50,640 --> 00:32:53,470
But, happily, he knew the
fundamental rule of life was that

506
00:32:53,520 --> 00:32:56,550
if Plan A fails,
Plan B will usually succeed.

507
00:32:56,600 --> 00:33:01,230
And if Plan B doesn't add up,
then Plan C always works every time.

508
00:33:01,280 --> 00:33:04,840
The only tiny problem was
he didn't have a Plan B...

509
00:33:06,160 --> 00:33:07,720
.. or a Plan C.

510
00:33:10,440 --> 00:33:12,480
'So, where did this leave Mr Hoppy?

511
00:33:16,360 --> 00:33:20,030
'Was he out for the count?
Done for? Doomed?

512
00:33:20,080 --> 00:33:23,360
'Was he going to give up?
Admit defeat?'

513
00:33:31,600 --> 00:33:32,910
Wait a minute.

514
00:33:32,960 --> 00:33:34,350
Of course he wasn't!

515
00:33:34,400 --> 00:33:36,670
This is Mr Hoppy
we're talking about.

516
00:33:36,720 --> 00:33:39,440
The Hopster!
The Hippity Hop Meister!

517
00:33:42,440 --> 00:33:44,910
He had a plan - Plan D.

518
00:33:44,960 --> 00:33:46,200
Let's go.

519
00:34:52,800 --> 00:34:55,270
~ Oh!
~ Oh! Hello, Mr Hoppy.

520
00:34:55,320 --> 00:34:56,430
Hello.

521
00:34:56,480 --> 00:34:58,950
Good lord. What have you got there?

522
00:34:59,000 --> 00:35:00,510
Oh, er...

523
00:35:00,560 --> 00:35:04,510
It looks like a huge fishing rod
for catching jellyfish or something.

524
00:35:04,560 --> 00:35:08,190
Yes, it is a huge fishing rod
for catching jellyfish.

525
00:35:08,240 --> 00:35:10,950
What on Earth do you want that for?

526
00:35:11,000 --> 00:35:14,790
Well, that's a very good question.
But, er...

527
00:35:14,840 --> 00:35:16,760
the answer's pretty simple.

528
00:35:18,640 --> 00:35:21,190
All my life
I wanted to catch a jellyfish.

529
00:35:21,240 --> 00:35:23,310
I got bitten by one...

530
00:35:23,360 --> 00:35:25,910
and I wanted to seek my revenge,

531
00:35:25,960 --> 00:35:30,110
so I thought the time had come
to get a huge fishing rod

532
00:35:30,160 --> 00:35:35,190
and do just that -
catch a... huge jellyfish.

533
00:35:35,240 --> 00:35:38,070
Well! What a thing!

534
00:35:38,120 --> 00:35:40,030
Yes.

535
00:35:40,080 --> 00:35:41,320
Well...

536
00:35:44,280 --> 00:35:47,190
So, you're...

537
00:35:47,240 --> 00:35:49,550
You're looking...

538
00:35:49,600 --> 00:35:52,230
very nice, Mrs Silver.
Where are you off to?

539
00:35:52,280 --> 00:35:54,910
A dance marathon,
at the community centre.

540
00:35:54,960 --> 00:35:56,990
For charity. You know?

541
00:35:57,040 --> 00:35:58,910
Chi-Chi-Chi!

542
00:35:58,960 --> 00:36:01,120
We're hoping for a lot of sponsors.

543
00:36:03,560 --> 00:36:06,110
Well... it's for charity.

544
00:36:06,160 --> 00:36:08,110
Oh...

545
00:36:08,160 --> 00:36:10,710
Oh, maybe I could be a sponsor too.

546
00:36:10,760 --> 00:36:13,310
~ Well, that would be wonderful!
~ Yes, why not?

547
00:36:13,360 --> 00:36:16,190
Put me, erm... down for a pound.

548
00:36:16,240 --> 00:36:18,110
A pound? Oh!

549
00:36:18,160 --> 00:36:19,280
Right, lovely.

550
00:36:20,480 --> 00:36:22,600
Er... No, that's... very kind.

551
00:36:23,680 --> 00:36:26,350
By which I mean...

552
00:36:26,400 --> 00:36:28,320
a pound a minute, of course.

553
00:36:30,480 --> 00:36:32,470
~ A pound a minute?! ~ Yes.

554
00:36:32,520 --> 00:36:34,750
~ That's incredible! ~ Is it?

555
00:36:34,800 --> 00:36:37,870
~ Oh, yes. Most people sponsor
by the hour. ~ They do?

556
00:36:37,920 --> 00:36:42,070
Well, yes, because it's a marathon.
I mean, a pound a minute?!

557
00:36:42,120 --> 00:36:43,510
That's marvellous!

558
00:36:43,560 --> 00:36:46,550
~ A marathon.
~ Oh, it's really inspired me.

559
00:36:46,600 --> 00:36:49,790
~ Oh. ~ Ooh! A pound a minute? ~ Yes.

560
00:36:49,840 --> 00:36:53,600
~ Well... Well, come and watch.
You'll have a marvellous time. ~ Yes.

561
00:37:26,280 --> 00:37:29,430
~ Do you want to stop now, Mrs Silver?
~ How long have I done?

562
00:37:29,480 --> 00:37:32,150
Erm... Four hours and fifty minutes.

563
00:37:32,200 --> 00:37:37,430
~ How many minutes is that in total?
~ Erm... ~ £290. ~ 290 minutes.

564
00:37:37,480 --> 00:37:40,910
Oh, yes. I think
it's time for me last waltz.

565
00:37:40,960 --> 00:37:42,510
Oh!

566
00:37:42,560 --> 00:37:44,910
Would anyone care to partner me?

567
00:37:44,960 --> 00:37:46,750
Someone...

568
00:37:46,800 --> 00:37:49,150
Anyone...

569
00:37:49,200 --> 00:37:50,950
Someone?

570
00:37:51,000 --> 00:37:52,400
Come on...

571
00:38:01,240 --> 00:38:02,670
Thanks.

572
00:38:02,720 --> 00:38:04,270
Mr Pringle!

573
00:38:04,320 --> 00:38:05,430
Oh!

574
00:38:05,480 --> 00:38:09,750
Well, before we start, I'd like
to thank the man who sponsored me

575
00:38:09,800 --> 00:38:13,150
a pound a minute...
For every minute of my marathon.

576
00:38:13,200 --> 00:38:17,110
He used to be quite well off.
Now he's the poorest man I know.

577
00:38:17,160 --> 00:38:19,550
Mr Hoppy.

578
00:38:19,600 --> 00:38:21,390
Bravo!

579
00:38:42,840 --> 00:38:46,070
~ Thank you so much. ~ Oh, not at all.
Don't mention it.

580
00:38:46,120 --> 00:38:50,790
~ The charity must mean a lot to you.
~ Er... Oh, yes. Absolutely.

581
00:38:50,840 --> 00:38:52,270
Very close to my heart.

582
00:38:52,320 --> 00:38:54,150
Oh, really?

583
00:38:54,200 --> 00:38:56,870
My grandfather was in a wheelchair.

584
00:38:56,920 --> 00:39:01,600
Thank you so much. Training guide
dogs is such an important cause.

585
00:39:04,360 --> 00:39:06,550
He'd had a terrible fall.

586
00:39:06,600 --> 00:39:08,550
Being blind.

587
00:39:08,600 --> 00:39:10,200
I'll just go get the money.

588
00:39:40,280 --> 00:39:42,440
The price of love.

589
00:39:45,560 --> 00:39:48,320
♪ Chi-Chi-Chi

590
00:39:51,000 --> 00:39:53,880
♪ Di-di, di-di-di... ♪

591
00:40:17,680 --> 00:40:19,790
OK, Alfie.

592
00:40:19,840 --> 00:40:22,320
You're about to go for the ride
of your life.

593
00:41:00,520 --> 00:41:02,990
Well, well. We meet at last.

594
00:41:03,040 --> 00:41:06,230
Both in love with the same girl.

595
00:41:06,280 --> 00:41:07,600
Yes, we are.

596
00:41:08,840 --> 00:41:11,590
You want to know something,
young man?

597
00:41:11,640 --> 00:41:14,910
If I could have been anyone
in the history of the world,

598
00:41:14,960 --> 00:41:18,150
I wouldn't have been Julius Caesar
or Leonardo Da Vinci,

599
00:41:18,200 --> 00:41:22,070
not even the great
Louis "Satchmo" Armstrong. No.

600
00:41:22,120 --> 00:41:23,920
You know what I would have been?

601
00:41:25,320 --> 00:41:26,680
I would have been you.

602
00:41:28,520 --> 00:41:30,120
Cos you're a lucky guy.

603
00:41:38,560 --> 00:41:40,750
OK, this is it.

604
00:41:40,800 --> 00:41:42,990
I hope you're not shy, Alfie.

605
00:41:43,040 --> 00:41:46,230
If you are, this is going to be
a traumatic point. See?

606
00:41:46,280 --> 00:41:48,750
It's just like the first day
of school.

607
00:41:48,800 --> 00:41:51,750
Over there's the tough gang.
Probably smoking.

608
00:41:51,800 --> 00:41:55,150
And right over there,
the jocks going for gold.

609
00:41:55,200 --> 00:41:57,190
Never opened a book in their lives.

610
00:41:57,240 --> 00:42:00,310
And here's the ones whose parents
should really be worried.

611
00:42:00,360 --> 00:42:01,440
Don't look.

612
00:42:03,680 --> 00:42:05,950
Good luck, Alfie.

613
00:42:06,000 --> 00:42:07,960
Life part two starts here.

614
00:42:09,640 --> 00:42:10,880
Here you go.

615
00:42:12,000 --> 00:42:13,240
Here you go.

616
00:42:15,280 --> 00:42:16,600
Make some friends.

617
00:42:18,480 --> 00:42:22,470
As for you, Alfie 2,
give my love to the most delightful,

618
00:42:22,520 --> 00:42:24,520
exotic woman in the world.

619
00:43:01,360 --> 00:43:02,480
Hm-hm.

620
00:43:11,960 --> 00:43:13,790
'Hello, my darling!

621
00:43:13,840 --> 00:43:17,600
Where's my lovely boy? Have
you missed me?'

622
00:43:21,040 --> 00:43:22,160
Oh...

623
00:43:23,240 --> 00:43:24,920
Oh, my goodness!

624
00:43:26,920 --> 00:43:29,310
That's very strange!

625
00:43:29,360 --> 00:43:32,390
~ Everything all right,
Mrs Silver? ~ No...

626
00:43:32,440 --> 00:43:35,390
Something very odd has happened.

627
00:43:35,440 --> 00:43:38,470
~ Very odd? ~ Yes.

628
00:43:38,520 --> 00:43:40,000
This isn't my Alfie.

629
00:43:41,760 --> 00:43:43,230
Not your Alfie?

630
00:43:43,280 --> 00:43:44,680
Not at all.

631
00:43:48,600 --> 00:43:51,470
~ Are you sure?
~ Well, of course I'm sure!

632
00:43:51,520 --> 00:43:53,280
Oh, OK. OK...

633
00:43:54,480 --> 00:43:56,950
Oh, God! Er...

634
00:43:57,000 --> 00:44:00,230
Mrs Silver, I... I...
I have a huge conf...

635
00:44:00,280 --> 00:44:04,390
Usually his morning feed lasts him
all day, but I've come back and...

636
00:44:04,440 --> 00:44:07,030
And it's all gone.
He's eaten the lot.

637
00:44:07,080 --> 00:44:10,200
Well, that's not like
my Alfie at all!

638
00:44:12,000 --> 00:44:13,350
Oh...

639
00:44:13,400 --> 00:44:16,350
~ Oh, my gorgeous goodness! ~ Hm.

640
00:44:16,400 --> 00:44:18,390
~ It's working! ~ Mm.

641
00:44:18,440 --> 00:44:21,310
~ Your spell's doubled his appetite!
~ Mm-hm.

642
00:44:21,360 --> 00:44:25,030
Mr Hoppy! Oh! This is very,
very exciting!

643
00:44:25,080 --> 00:44:27,150
Isn't it ever!

644
00:44:27,200 --> 00:44:28,320
Oh!

645
00:44:30,680 --> 00:44:32,550
Alfie!

646
00:44:32,600 --> 00:44:34,120
She didn't notice a thing.

647
00:44:35,800 --> 00:44:37,400
I'm quite a happy Hoppy!

648
00:44:39,200 --> 00:44:42,390
I'm..quite...a...happy... Hoppy!

649
00:44:42,440 --> 00:44:44,390
Yes, I am!

650
00:44:44,440 --> 00:44:47,550
Happy Hoppy! Yes, yes, yes!

651
00:44:47,600 --> 00:44:49,840
Alfie! We did it!

652
00:44:52,720 --> 00:44:55,510
Spot of tea? Come on!

653
00:44:55,560 --> 00:44:59,230
Mr Hoppy's secret plan
was a cunning one. See,

654
00:44:59,280 --> 00:45:03,550
If a creature grows slowly enough,
you'll never notice it grows at all.

655
00:45:03,600 --> 00:45:06,790
Be a very different story
if it happened all at once.

656
00:45:06,840 --> 00:45:08,790
Let's say you had a small puppy.

657
00:45:08,840 --> 00:45:11,110
You drop it off at school
in the morning

658
00:45:11,160 --> 00:45:13,790
and pat its little head goodbye.

659
00:45:13,840 --> 00:45:15,400
~ Bye. ~ Bye-bye.

660
00:45:18,360 --> 00:45:21,430
Then you come back
in the afternoon...

661
00:45:21,480 --> 00:45:24,190
~ Argh! Mummy! ~ Down boy! Sit!

662
00:45:26,640 --> 00:45:30,950
Not nice. But do it gradually
and you get away with growing.

663
00:45:31,000 --> 00:45:32,590
~ Dad, you're late! ~ I'm sorry,

664
00:45:32,640 --> 00:45:34,870
Roberta. I caught the wrong bus.

665
00:45:34,920 --> 00:45:37,950
I was telling them about Mr Hoppy.
I got carried away.

666
00:45:38,000 --> 00:45:41,320
Where have you got to?
Have you got to the death scene yet?

667
00:45:42,880 --> 00:45:44,150
Sorry!

668
00:45:44,200 --> 00:45:47,110
So, Mr Hoppy had completed
his first tortoise swap.

669
00:45:47,160 --> 00:45:50,030
Now all he had to do was keep
swapping every couple of days

670
00:45:50,080 --> 00:45:54,750
until Alfie doubled in size,
whilst living with 100 tortoises.

671
00:45:54,800 --> 00:45:57,630
♪ Hello, Dolly

672
00:45:57,680 --> 00:46:00,590
♪ This is Louis, Dolly

673
00:46:00,640 --> 00:46:04,800
♪ It's so nice to have you
back where you belong

674
00:46:06,160 --> 00:46:09,870
♪ You're lookin' swell, Dolly

675
00:46:09,920 --> 00:46:12,510
♪ I can tell, Dolly

676
00:46:12,560 --> 00:46:14,590
♪ You're still glowin'

677
00:46:14,640 --> 00:46:15,830
♪ You're still crowin'

678
00:46:15,880 --> 00:46:18,590
♪ You're still goin' strong

679
00:46:18,640 --> 00:46:21,990
♪ I feel the room swayin'

680
00:46:22,040 --> 00:46:25,310
♪ While the band's playin'

681
00:46:25,360 --> 00:46:29,590
♪ One of our old favourite
songs from way back when

682
00:46:29,640 --> 00:46:32,150
♪ So

683
00:46:32,200 --> 00:46:35,110
♪ Take her wrap, fellas

684
00:46:35,160 --> 00:46:38,230
♪ Find her an empty lap, fellas

685
00:46:38,280 --> 00:46:41,470
♪ Dolly, you'll never
go away again... ♪

686
00:46:41,520 --> 00:46:47,190
I should have done this weeks ago.
Bernard, Harvey, Bob...

687
00:46:47,240 --> 00:46:48,880
Hello there, Prince Philip.

688
00:46:51,880 --> 00:46:53,190
Spartacus...

689
00:46:53,240 --> 00:46:55,510
No, you're Spartacus.

690
00:46:55,560 --> 00:46:57,270
No...

691
00:46:57,320 --> 00:46:59,160
Ah! You're Spartacus.

692
00:47:01,560 --> 00:47:03,110
You are my Satchmo.

693
00:47:03,160 --> 00:47:06,440
Tup no taf, Esio Trot. Tup no taf.

694
00:47:08,880 --> 00:47:12,590
Hello, Dolly. How'd you get in here?
It's all guys.

695
00:47:12,640 --> 00:47:15,030
If I were you,
I'd keep your head in your shell.

696
00:47:15,080 --> 00:47:16,960
Elbbog doof.

697
00:47:19,400 --> 00:47:22,920
Toohs pu, gnirps pu, wolb pu...

698
00:47:25,880 --> 00:47:28,950
Voldemort! Is that you?

699
00:47:29,000 --> 00:47:30,680
What are you doing in there?

700
00:47:33,080 --> 00:47:35,230
♪ I feel the room swayin'... ♪

701
00:47:35,280 --> 00:47:38,510
Freddie! What are you doing
on your back again?

702
00:47:38,560 --> 00:47:39,800
Come here.

703
00:47:40,920 --> 00:47:43,440
Come on. Stay away from the poop.
Be a good boy.

704
00:47:47,000 --> 00:47:49,630
♪ Golly gee, fellas

705
00:47:49,680 --> 00:47:52,950
♪ Have a little faith in me, fellas

706
00:47:53,000 --> 00:47:56,350
♪ Dolly, never go away... ♪

707
00:47:56,400 --> 00:47:59,710
OK, OK. Good luck, Alfie 9.

708
00:47:59,760 --> 00:48:02,880
♪ Dolly'll never go away again. ♪

709
00:48:04,480 --> 00:48:06,070
Hello, my darling.

710
00:48:06,120 --> 00:48:08,990
I don't know who holds
the land speed record,

711
00:48:09,040 --> 00:48:11,720
but my bus driver's certainly
just broken it.

712
00:48:13,240 --> 00:48:15,470
The death scene.

713
00:48:15,520 --> 00:48:16,870
The death scene.

714
00:48:19,800 --> 00:48:23,630
~ I so thought he was dead!
~ I know. ~ The first time I heard it.

715
00:48:23,680 --> 00:48:25,030
I know.

716
00:48:25,080 --> 00:48:26,720
Alfie!

717
00:48:28,400 --> 00:48:29,480
Alfie?

718
00:48:30,960 --> 00:48:32,240
Alfie?

719
00:48:36,440 --> 00:48:38,150
Alfie?

720
00:48:38,200 --> 00:48:42,550
Mummy, Mummy!
A tortoise just fell out of the sky!

721
00:48:42,600 --> 00:48:45,470
Yah! I hear so many things!

722
00:48:45,520 --> 00:48:47,230
So many things...

723
00:48:47,280 --> 00:48:49,120
Alfie?

724
00:48:50,560 --> 00:48:52,320
Oh! Mr Hoppy...

725
00:48:53,640 --> 00:48:55,430
Mr Hoppy?

726
00:48:55,480 --> 00:48:56,790
Yes.

727
00:48:56,840 --> 00:49:00,480
~ I'm here. ~ I don't know what's
happened, but... Alfie's gone.

728
00:49:01,600 --> 00:49:02,950
Gone?

729
00:49:03,000 --> 00:49:04,870
I think he's jumped.

730
00:49:04,920 --> 00:49:06,270
Oh, my darling!

731
00:49:06,320 --> 00:49:09,430
Oh, he's always had
very powerful legs!

732
00:49:09,480 --> 00:49:12,590
I think he's just bounced
himself over the edge!

733
00:49:12,640 --> 00:49:15,070
~ Oh! ~ Oh! I can't bear to look!

734
00:49:15,120 --> 00:49:17,430
Don't! Please, don't!

735
00:49:17,480 --> 00:49:20,550
Maybe he's gone back into the flat.

736
00:49:20,600 --> 00:49:22,550
I don't... Well...

737
00:49:22,600 --> 00:49:25,640
~ Yeah, I'll check that first.
~ OK. ~ Alfie!

738
00:49:26,920 --> 00:49:29,710
OK, OK, OK...

739
00:49:29,760 --> 00:49:33,950
Put Alfie 8 back on the balcony
and then go get Alfie 9.

740
00:49:34,000 --> 00:49:35,430
What's left of him.

741
00:49:35,480 --> 00:49:38,440
I know. I know...

742
00:49:42,040 --> 00:49:43,240
Oh!

743
00:50:04,960 --> 00:50:07,840
Better luck for you, Alfie 8.
There you go.

744
00:50:23,280 --> 00:50:24,630
Oh!

745
00:50:24,680 --> 00:50:26,040
Oh, Alfie!

746
00:50:38,920 --> 00:50:40,990
I've looked everywhere!

747
00:50:41,040 --> 00:50:43,070
I... Oh!

748
00:50:43,120 --> 00:50:45,270
Alfie!

749
00:50:45,320 --> 00:50:46,830
There you are!

750
00:50:46,880 --> 00:50:52,070
Oh, my holy aunt! You frightened
the living daylights out of me.

751
00:50:52,120 --> 00:50:54,470
Oh! Oh!

752
00:50:54,520 --> 00:50:57,830
Oh, dab, dab Esio Trot.

753
00:50:57,880 --> 00:50:59,120
Oh!

754
00:51:00,120 --> 00:51:02,470
Oh, it's all right, Mr Hoppy.

755
00:51:02,520 --> 00:51:04,190
I've found him.

756
00:51:04,240 --> 00:51:06,510
All's well.

757
00:51:06,560 --> 00:51:08,830
Thank the living Lord!

758
00:51:08,880 --> 00:51:10,270
Evening, Hoppy.

759
00:51:10,320 --> 00:51:12,950
Oh, good evening, Mr Pringle.

760
00:51:13,000 --> 00:51:15,800
And... what a...

761
00:51:17,280 --> 00:51:20,800
~ .. relaxing evening it is.
~ Yes, indeed.

762
00:51:23,000 --> 00:51:26,190
~ Are you cooking anything special?
~ No, I don't think so.

763
00:51:26,240 --> 00:51:29,390
Just something out of the fridge...
Frozen chicken pie...

764
00:51:29,440 --> 00:51:32,070
Sounds good to me. Love a pie.

765
00:51:32,120 --> 00:51:34,190
Love chicken.

766
00:51:34,240 --> 00:51:36,590
LOVE chicken pie!

767
00:51:36,640 --> 00:51:38,760
~ Oh. ~ You haven't forgotten?

768
00:51:40,520 --> 00:51:43,870
~ Forgotten? ~ Did I hear someone
mention chicken pie?

769
00:51:43,920 --> 00:51:45,550
You certainly did, Mrs Silver.

770
00:51:45,600 --> 00:51:48,710
We're having chicken pie,
round at Hoppy's tonight.

771
00:51:48,760 --> 00:51:50,070
Join us.

772
00:51:50,120 --> 00:51:53,150
~ Oh! Oh, no. I couldn't possibly.
~ Course you can!

773
00:51:53,200 --> 00:51:55,790
~ You don't mind, do you, Hoppy?
~ Mind, wha... ~ Excellent!

774
00:51:55,840 --> 00:51:58,750
My motto - two's company,
three's a party!

775
00:51:58,800 --> 00:52:03,550
~ Are you sure, Mr Hoppy? ~ No...
Yes. Oh, no problem.

776
00:52:03,600 --> 00:52:06,710
It'll be wonderful to have
you come around, Mrs Silver.

777
00:52:06,760 --> 00:52:09,200
Oh! Oh!

778
00:52:10,280 --> 00:52:11,720
Oh!

779
00:52:17,320 --> 00:52:19,270
Oh, no.

780
00:52:19,320 --> 00:52:22,440
No! Guys! Guys, I need your help!

781
00:52:23,840 --> 00:52:25,800
Nngg!

782
00:52:29,640 --> 00:52:31,150
Oh.

783
00:52:31,200 --> 00:52:34,910
~ You look gorgeous, Mrs Silver.
~ Oh, thank you, Mr Pringle.

784
00:52:34,960 --> 00:52:37,400
~ Lawrence, please. ~ Lavinia.

785
00:52:39,440 --> 00:52:42,910
Come on, Hoppy!

786
00:52:42,960 --> 00:52:44,280
Oh, look...

787
00:52:47,160 --> 00:52:48,510
Come in!

788
00:52:48,560 --> 00:52:49,950
Come on in.

789
00:52:50,000 --> 00:52:52,360
~ Oh, thank you. ~ You're welcome.

790
00:52:56,640 --> 00:52:59,550
Oh! What a lovely big room!

791
00:52:59,600 --> 00:53:04,270
~ Oh, I love that look
you've gone for. ~ Mm.

792
00:53:04,320 --> 00:53:07,550
~ What's it called? ~ Erm... ~ Prison cell.

793
00:53:07,600 --> 00:53:11,910
~ No, minimalist. Yes, that's it. Oh!
It's very stylish! ~ Thank you.

794
00:53:11,960 --> 00:53:15,360
Can I get you a drink? Er...
I have wine and...

795
00:53:16,720 --> 00:53:20,430
~ Well, wine. ~ A glass of white wine
would be perfect.

796
00:53:20,480 --> 00:53:24,950
~ Er... I... ~ Although, red's my real
favourite. I love lovely red.

797
00:53:25,000 --> 00:53:27,110
So glamorous.

798
00:53:27,160 --> 00:53:28,390
Thank you.

799
00:53:28,440 --> 00:53:31,030
I'm a little short on glasses today.

800
00:53:31,080 --> 00:53:33,990
~ Mrs Silver... ~ Thank you.

801
00:53:34,040 --> 00:53:36,240
And Mr Pringle. I'll have...

802
00:53:37,560 --> 00:53:38,640
.. this.

803
00:53:41,360 --> 00:53:43,360
Well... Serve yourselves.

804
00:53:45,480 --> 00:53:46,870
Er...

805
00:53:46,920 --> 00:53:49,990
I have to just get back
to the, er...

806
00:53:50,040 --> 00:53:52,590
~ Get back to... ~ Chin-chin!

807
00:53:52,640 --> 00:53:55,040
..cooking. Excuse me.

808
00:53:56,760 --> 00:53:58,360
(Excuse me.)

809
00:54:01,280 --> 00:54:05,190
You're doing great, guys.
Just try to keep the noise down.

810
00:54:05,240 --> 00:54:06,480
Easy.

811
00:54:11,240 --> 00:54:12,680
Ah!

812
00:54:19,640 --> 00:54:21,070
Dolly, it's hot.

813
00:54:21,120 --> 00:54:23,520
Potatoes. Got to put them
up to high.

814
00:54:26,240 --> 00:54:29,520
Spartacus, sorry,
but I really need the fridge now.

815
00:54:36,000 --> 00:54:38,430
~ Can I give you a hand in there? ~ No...

816
00:54:38,480 --> 00:54:41,350
~ We're feeling very guilty out here.
~ No, no.

817
00:54:41,400 --> 00:54:44,430
No, thank you.
I... I'm a very private cook.

818
00:54:44,480 --> 00:54:46,390
My recipe's a secret, Mrs Silver.

819
00:54:46,440 --> 00:54:49,590
Oh, and Mr Pringle's very keen
to know what vegetable we're having.

820
00:54:49,640 --> 00:54:52,590
Apparently, he enjoyed your carrots
enormously last time.

821
00:54:52,640 --> 00:54:56,030
~ Yes, tell him it's peas.
I hope that's all right. ~ Oh, peas!

822
00:54:56,080 --> 00:55:00,400
~ My favourite! ~ Peas are about the only
vegetable that I... I... really like.

823
00:55:04,200 --> 00:55:08,070
Apart from cabbages, of course.
Can't get enough of cabbage.

824
00:55:08,120 --> 00:55:11,600
Hope you don't mind, but I've been
tucking in to your nibbles.

825
00:55:12,800 --> 00:55:15,160
~ Nibbles? ~ Mm. Balti mix, is it?

826
00:55:18,160 --> 00:55:19,790
Mm!

827
00:55:19,840 --> 00:55:21,510
Peppery.

828
00:55:21,560 --> 00:55:23,870
Would you like some, Lavinia?

829
00:55:23,920 --> 00:55:25,350
Oh...

830
00:55:25,400 --> 00:55:28,120
~ No, thank you.
Not one of my favourites. ~ Oh.

831
00:55:29,400 --> 00:55:30,840
I've got to get the food.

832
00:55:42,560 --> 00:55:43,840
Sorry, Paul.

833
00:55:46,040 --> 00:55:49,270
~ A little more?
~ Oh, thank you. ~ Here we go!

834
00:55:49,320 --> 00:55:51,990
Fresh out of the oven. One pie
for you...

835
00:55:52,040 --> 00:55:54,070
Oh! That looks yummy!

836
00:55:54,120 --> 00:55:55,720
Oh, forgot the garnish.

837
00:56:02,360 --> 00:56:03,680
How did that happen?

838
00:56:06,960 --> 00:56:10,030
Oh, how magnificent!

839
00:56:10,080 --> 00:56:12,230
A pie to die for!

840
00:56:12,280 --> 00:56:16,910
Right, Lavinia.
I want to hear all about you.

841
00:56:16,960 --> 00:56:18,880
Every single little thing.

842
00:56:20,520 --> 00:56:22,190
Where were you born?

843
00:56:22,240 --> 00:56:25,310
~ I... ~ I was actually born
on the Thames myself.

844
00:56:25,360 --> 00:56:28,110
In the back of a Volkswagen Beetle.

845
00:56:28,160 --> 00:56:31,310
Dad went over a speed bump
and out I popped.

846
00:56:31,360 --> 00:56:35,710
So I said, "That's certainly
an original use for an octopus!"

847
00:56:38,080 --> 00:56:39,830
Good Lord.

848
00:56:39,880 --> 00:56:43,350
But enough about me.
I want to know all about you two.

849
00:56:43,400 --> 00:56:46,430
Go on. Favourite films.
Ladies first.

850
00:56:46,480 --> 00:56:50,110
~ Oh, The Railway Children.
Every time. ~ Oh, yes!

851
00:56:50,160 --> 00:56:53,430
That moment at the end when
Jenny Agutter goes to the station...

852
00:56:53,480 --> 00:56:57,110
~ And the train comes in...
~ The smoke clears... ~ And there he is!

853
00:56:57,160 --> 00:56:58,840
"Daddy, my daddy!"

854
00:57:00,840 --> 00:57:03,350
~ Oh! ~ I never really bothered
with that one.

855
00:57:03,400 --> 00:57:07,470
Always try to avoid films with
the word "children" in the title.

856
00:57:07,520 --> 00:57:09,000
And "Chihuahua".

857
00:57:10,000 --> 00:57:12,910
My favourite's The Sound Of Music.

858
00:57:12,960 --> 00:57:15,990
~ Really? ~ No! Course not!

859
00:57:16,040 --> 00:57:19,430
Top Gun! That's the ticket!
Go, Cruise!

860
00:57:19,480 --> 00:57:24,550
"Son, your ego is writing cheques
your body can't cash!"

861
00:57:24,600 --> 00:57:29,280
~ Genius! ~ Oh, you certainly are
a character, Lawrence!

862
00:57:31,120 --> 00:57:32,550
Can I help clear?

863
00:57:32,600 --> 00:57:35,080
~ Oh, thank you. That's very kind.
~ Waste not.

864
00:57:39,000 --> 00:57:40,510
Oh! No! Er...

865
00:57:40,560 --> 00:57:42,870
Where are my manners? Er...

866
00:57:42,920 --> 00:57:45,550
~ Here, let me. ~ Oh! Well...

867
00:57:45,600 --> 00:57:48,230
If I can't see your kitchen,

868
00:57:48,280 --> 00:57:50,990
can I take a look at
your beautiful balcony?

869
00:57:51,040 --> 00:57:52,990
Certainly.

870
00:57:53,040 --> 00:57:54,760
~ It'd be my honour. ~ Oh.

871
00:58:01,880 --> 00:58:04,240
Oh... goodness!

872
00:58:06,640 --> 00:58:10,430
Who needs to travel the world when
you've got sights like this at home?

873
00:58:10,480 --> 00:58:12,870
It's one of the two great passions
of my life.

874
00:58:12,920 --> 00:58:16,230
Well, I can certainly see that.

875
00:58:16,280 --> 00:58:21,390
~ Look, an avocado plant. ~ Oh, yes.
I grow them myself. From the pips.

876
00:58:21,440 --> 00:58:23,070
That's terribly clever.

877
00:58:23,120 --> 00:58:25,710
~ Thank you. ~ Oh!

878
00:58:25,760 --> 00:58:28,110
Oh, a miniature rose!

879
00:58:28,160 --> 00:58:31,670
Oh! My absolutest favourite!

880
00:58:31,720 --> 00:58:35,880
Well, do tell me,
what is the other passion?

881
00:58:38,200 --> 00:58:39,680
Well, er...

882
00:58:41,400 --> 00:58:43,990
Well, Mrs Silver...

883
00:58:44,040 --> 00:58:48,080
~ It's something I've never spoken to
anyone about. ~ Well, how exciting!

884
00:58:49,320 --> 00:58:51,400
On my... On my mind...

885
00:58:52,960 --> 00:58:55,600
Er... Every moment
of every day, but...

886
00:58:57,960 --> 00:59:00,670
But never once on my lips.

887
00:59:00,720 --> 00:59:02,440
Oh. What could it be?

888
00:59:05,800 --> 00:59:08,910
~ It's... ~ Time for tea, I think.

889
00:59:08,960 --> 00:59:11,280
Shall I bung the kettle on
in the kitchen?

890
00:59:13,400 --> 00:59:15,910
No, no. I'd better do it myself.

891
00:59:15,960 --> 00:59:17,400
Splendid.

892
00:59:22,720 --> 00:59:24,150
Lavinia...

893
00:59:24,200 --> 00:59:26,080
What a gorgeous name that is.

894
00:59:44,800 --> 00:59:46,600
What a splendid evening!

895
00:59:48,800 --> 00:59:50,590
Lavinia's a good sort, isn't she?

896
00:59:50,640 --> 00:59:53,070
~ Mm. ~ I'm surprised you haven't
made a move on her.

897
00:59:53,120 --> 00:59:55,990
Well, it's funny you should say that
because just between us...

898
00:59:56,040 --> 00:59:58,710
Hope it's OK, I pounced
while you were out making tea.

899
00:59:58,760 --> 01:00:01,790
Glad to say
she leapt at the opportunity.

900
01:00:01,840 --> 01:00:03,760
~ Dinner next Tuesday. ~ Oh.

901
01:00:06,000 --> 01:00:07,830
~ That's fast. ~ Yeah.

902
01:00:07,880 --> 01:00:10,830
I suppose the truth is
we're all a little bit lonely

903
01:00:10,880 --> 01:00:13,750
and anything which takes the edge
off, it's got to be a good thing.

904
01:00:13,800 --> 01:00:15,990
~ Hm. ~ Sure that's all right with you?

905
01:00:16,040 --> 01:00:19,270
~ You seemed to be getting on awfully
well during the dinner. ~ Mm.

906
01:00:19,320 --> 01:00:23,910
~ I often hear you chatting away on
the balcony. ~ No... Yes, that's fine.

907
01:00:23,960 --> 01:00:27,950
She's got... to be allowed to go out
to dinner with whoever

908
01:00:28,000 --> 01:00:30,710
she wants to go out to dinner with.

909
01:00:30,760 --> 01:00:32,190
Next Tuesday.

910
01:00:32,240 --> 01:00:33,950
Splendid, then!

911
01:00:34,000 --> 01:00:39,750
Who knows? Sparks may fly
when Flat 32 meets Flat 43!

912
01:00:39,800 --> 01:00:40,840
Wish me luck.

913
01:00:45,480 --> 01:00:47,710
Is that wedding bells I hear?

914
01:00:47,760 --> 01:00:50,230
Or just a squeak of bedsprings!

915
01:00:50,280 --> 01:00:53,110
Perfectly happy either way,
eh, Hoppy?

916
01:00:53,160 --> 01:00:54,550
Yes.

917
01:00:57,920 --> 01:00:59,400
Good night, Lawrence.

918
01:01:06,880 --> 01:01:09,670
'Mr Hoppy felt dead inside.'

919
01:01:09,720 --> 01:01:12,870
Think of the saddest you've ever
felt and then double it.

920
01:01:12,920 --> 01:01:16,710
That was the world of Mr Hoppy's
heart that night.

921
01:01:16,760 --> 01:01:18,590
Poor Mr Hoppy.

922
01:01:18,640 --> 01:01:23,590
Losing the love of your life is a
terrible feeling. It's an emptiness.

923
01:01:23,640 --> 01:01:27,150
Like the death of a friend.
Or a parent.

924
01:01:27,200 --> 01:01:28,560
Or a gerbil.

925
01:01:29,600 --> 01:01:32,400
Or, yes, indeed... a gerbil.

926
01:01:37,800 --> 01:01:39,790
Here's the thing...

927
01:01:39,840 --> 01:01:41,160
You see, little Alfie?

928
01:01:45,200 --> 01:01:49,750
However many years we live -
and you're a tortoise

929
01:01:49,800 --> 01:01:52,750
so you're in for a lot of them -

930
01:01:52,800 --> 01:01:57,310
there's probably only ten moments
that really matter.

931
01:01:57,360 --> 01:01:59,840
Ten key moments that seal your fate.

932
01:02:01,280 --> 01:02:05,430
Where we get the chance
to change our lives.

933
01:02:05,480 --> 01:02:08,080
Get the job we always dreamed of.

934
01:02:10,480 --> 01:02:11,760
Get the perfect girl.

935
01:02:14,480 --> 01:02:15,520
Well...

936
01:02:17,760 --> 01:02:20,560
.. I've had my share
of those moments.

937
01:02:25,520 --> 01:02:28,040
And I've blown every
single one of them.

938
01:02:29,680 --> 01:02:33,280
Because the truth is, Alfie...

939
01:02:35,080 --> 01:02:41,600
.. your Mr Henry Hoppy just doesn't
deserve Mrs Lavinia Silver.

940
01:02:51,200 --> 01:02:56,310
And so, the next morning, Mr Hoppy
began returning the tortoises.

941
01:02:56,360 --> 01:02:59,310
The game was up. The dream was over.

942
01:02:59,360 --> 01:03:02,510
First to go was the most
important tortoise of all,

943
01:03:02,560 --> 01:03:06,470
the one he picked out at the start,
the trophy tortoise.

944
01:03:06,520 --> 01:03:08,750
Exactly double little
Alfie's weight.

945
01:03:08,800 --> 01:03:13,390
~ I brought you one of my tortoises
to sell. ~ He's a lovely big one!

946
01:03:13,440 --> 01:03:17,030
Yes, he is. 26 ounces, to be exact.

947
01:03:17,080 --> 01:03:21,150
~ Can I tempt you with something else
to fill the hole in your life? ~ No.

948
01:03:21,200 --> 01:03:24,590
~ Now you say goodbye to the big
fella. ~ No, it's a pretty big hole.

949
01:03:24,640 --> 01:03:26,630
I've got an elephant out back.

950
01:03:26,680 --> 01:03:30,200
Not exactly an elephant. More
a very big dog. Same shape ears.

951
01:03:36,480 --> 01:03:38,600
'One down, 99 to go.

952
01:03:41,000 --> 01:03:45,950
'That evening, Mr Hoppy sat on his
balcony, certain of one thing.

953
01:03:46,000 --> 01:03:48,920
'That he and Mrs Silver
would never be together.'

954
01:04:01,200 --> 01:04:06,110
♪ Now, it's time to say good night

955
01:04:06,160 --> 01:04:09,950
♪ Good night

956
01:04:10,000 --> 01:04:12,840
♪ Sleep tight

957
01:04:13,960 --> 01:04:20,990
♪ Now, the sun turns out his light

958
01:04:21,040 --> 01:04:24,190
♪ Good night

959
01:04:24,240 --> 01:04:27,590
♪ Sleep tight

960
01:04:27,640 --> 01:04:31,350
♪ Dream sweet dreams

961
01:04:31,400 --> 01:04:33,280
♪ For me

962
01:04:35,280 --> 01:04:38,630
♪ Dream sweet dreams

963
01:04:38,680 --> 01:04:40,200
♪ For you

964
01:04:43,080 --> 01:04:46,150
♪ Close your eyes

965
01:04:46,200 --> 01:04:48,960
♪ And I'll close mine

966
01:04:50,320 --> 01:04:53,310
♪ Good night

967
01:04:53,360 --> 01:04:56,240
♪ Sleep tight. ♪

968
01:05:00,280 --> 01:05:01,680
Sit tight, guys.

969
01:05:04,560 --> 01:05:07,030
I want you to know something.

970
01:05:07,080 --> 01:05:12,630
I'm going to fight on till the final
whistle and even if I lose,

971
01:05:12,680 --> 01:05:15,720
even if she marries
Mr Potato Head Pringle...

972
01:05:18,120 --> 01:05:22,080
.. I will always, always
want her to be happy.

973
01:05:25,640 --> 01:05:27,030
Sorry.

974
01:05:27,080 --> 01:05:30,070
It turns out
I couldn't live without him.

975
01:05:30,120 --> 01:05:33,630
I'm not surprised.
He's a laugh a minute, this one.

976
01:05:33,680 --> 01:05:36,950
The times we had... Classic!

977
01:05:37,000 --> 01:05:38,280
Thank you.

978
01:06:04,840 --> 01:06:06,710
'Where's my boy?

979
01:06:06,760 --> 01:06:09,070
'Where's my Alfie?'

980
01:06:09,120 --> 01:06:10,750
Alfie, Alfie!

981
01:06:10,800 --> 01:06:12,280
Alfie...

982
01:06:15,280 --> 01:06:17,870
Oh, my goodness!

983
01:06:17,920 --> 01:06:19,120
Mr Hoppy?

984
01:06:21,640 --> 01:06:23,550
What, Mrs Silver?

985
01:06:23,600 --> 01:06:27,070
Something very extraordinary
has happened.

986
01:06:27,120 --> 01:06:28,990
What?

987
01:06:29,040 --> 01:06:32,590
Something very, very extraordinary!

988
01:06:32,640 --> 01:06:34,640
And quite marvellous!

989
01:06:36,600 --> 01:06:41,310
Alfie can't get through his door!
He must have got bigger!

990
01:06:41,360 --> 01:06:44,590
She's not very perceptive, is she?
I mean, he's double the size!

991
01:06:44,640 --> 01:06:46,950
No, she's not the sharpest
arrow in the quiver.

992
01:06:47,000 --> 01:06:49,390
~ She's not the cleverest
fox in the forest. ~ No.

993
01:06:49,440 --> 01:06:51,670
~ She's not the smartest
cookie in the jar. ~ No,

994
01:06:51,720 --> 01:06:54,750
but she's full of the joys of life,
and that's what matters.

995
01:06:54,800 --> 01:06:58,550
~ Of course it is. ~ Hey, you! ~ Ah!
~ Ha-ha!

996
01:06:58,600 --> 01:07:01,270
Well, Mrs Silver,

997
01:07:01,320 --> 01:07:03,830
perhaps you should weigh him.

998
01:07:03,880 --> 01:07:06,030
I believe it's been a month

999
01:07:06,080 --> 01:07:08,710
since you started
the Esio Trot experiment.

1000
01:07:08,760 --> 01:07:10,030
So it is!

1001
01:07:10,080 --> 01:07:14,760
Yes, it's exactly a month!
Oh! How exciting!

1002
01:07:23,040 --> 01:07:24,750
Oh, Mr Hoppy!

1003
01:07:24,800 --> 01:07:26,470
Guess how much he weighs!

1004
01:07:26,520 --> 01:07:28,830
~ (26 ounces). ~ 27 ounces!

1005
01:07:28,880 --> 01:07:30,510
(You should check your scale.)

1006
01:07:30,560 --> 01:07:31,790
Ooh!

1007
01:07:31,840 --> 01:07:33,510
Alfie!

1008
01:07:33,560 --> 01:07:37,310
You great big beautiful boy!

1009
01:07:37,360 --> 01:07:40,550
Look what clever
Mr Hoppy's done for you!

1010
01:07:40,600 --> 01:07:42,400
Oh, you did it, Mr Hoppy!

1011
01:07:44,080 --> 01:07:45,830
You're my miracle man.

1012
01:07:45,880 --> 01:07:47,600
How can I possibly thank you?

1013
01:07:53,840 --> 01:07:55,950
Well, Mrs Silver,

1014
01:07:56,000 --> 01:07:58,870
do you think I could perhaps
pop down to your balcony

1015
01:07:58,920 --> 01:08:03,270
and just see for myself how much
Alfie has grown?

1016
01:08:03,320 --> 01:08:06,590
Well, of course you can.
Oh, come down at once!

1017
01:08:06,640 --> 01:08:08,080
Oh, my dear man!

1018
01:08:10,960 --> 01:08:12,440
Dear man.

1019
01:08:16,440 --> 01:08:20,110
Thank you, thank you, thank you,
thank you, thank you.

1020
01:08:20,160 --> 01:08:22,790
Thank you, Wallace.
Thank you, Usain.

1021
01:08:22,840 --> 01:08:24,640
And thank you, most of all...

1022
01:08:26,640 --> 01:08:29,760
.. little original Alfie.

1023
01:08:45,640 --> 01:08:47,200
Key moment.

1024
01:08:51,320 --> 01:08:52,790
Where are you?

1025
01:08:52,840 --> 01:08:55,070
There you are.

1026
01:08:55,120 --> 01:08:57,080
Oh, don't blow this.

1027
01:09:34,960 --> 01:09:37,310
Hurray! Come in at once.

1028
01:09:37,360 --> 01:09:40,310
~ I've just made you
a delicious cup of tea. ~ Oh.

1029
01:09:40,360 --> 01:09:43,710
~ Er... ~ Oh! Oh, clever you!

1030
01:09:43,760 --> 01:09:46,520
~ Thank you. ~ Oh, my!

1031
01:09:49,560 --> 01:09:52,840
Oh, my goodness!

1032
01:09:56,400 --> 01:09:59,790
~ I'd quite forgotten it was
Christmas. ~ Oh, it isn't.

1033
01:09:59,840 --> 01:10:03,630
I just like to get my tree up
on the first day of August.

1034
01:10:03,680 --> 01:10:07,120
What's the point in getting old
if you can't break the rules?

1035
01:10:11,280 --> 01:10:15,270
~ It's my little piece of paradise
in the sky. ~ Perfect.

1036
01:10:15,320 --> 01:10:17,720
Oh, and this is Alfie.

1037
01:10:21,920 --> 01:10:23,400
Ha-ha!

1038
01:10:27,560 --> 01:10:30,520
~ Have you ever held a tortoise before?
~ Once or twice.

1039
01:10:32,400 --> 01:10:34,870
I just don't want to drop him.

1040
01:10:34,920 --> 01:10:36,950
Oh!

1041
01:10:37,000 --> 01:10:39,630
~ Can I ask you a question? ~ Of course.

1042
01:10:39,680 --> 01:10:42,150
Would it be all right
if I came up later

1043
01:10:42,200 --> 01:10:45,070
and had another look at your balcony?

1044
01:10:45,120 --> 01:10:47,830
I think it's one
of the Seven Wonders of the World.

1045
01:10:47,880 --> 01:10:50,670
Who needs the Hanging Gardens
of Babylon

1046
01:10:50,720 --> 01:10:54,430
when you've got Mr Hoppy's beautiful
balcony in Bethnal Green?

1047
01:10:54,480 --> 01:10:57,790
Oh, I'd be delighted. Can I ask you
a question too, Mrs Silver?

1048
01:10:57,840 --> 01:10:59,920
~ Yes, of course. ~ Will you marry me?

1049
01:11:12,320 --> 01:11:14,270
That was very out of the blue.

1050
01:11:14,320 --> 01:11:16,910
Yes. It... It... It was.

1051
01:11:16,960 --> 01:11:21,310
It's just that I've been meaning
to ask you for some time,

1052
01:11:21,360 --> 01:11:23,870
since the first time I saw you,
in fact,

1053
01:11:23,920 --> 01:11:29,030
when it was perfectly clear to me
that you are the most... wonderful

1054
01:11:29,080 --> 01:11:33,030
and beautiful person
in the Western hemisphere.

1055
01:11:33,080 --> 01:11:35,190
Probably the Eastern hemisphere too.

1056
01:11:35,240 --> 01:11:38,750
I only exclude it because
I haven't actually been there.

1057
01:11:38,800 --> 01:11:40,600
Well...

1058
01:11:41,920 --> 01:11:43,390
Well...

1059
01:11:43,440 --> 01:11:45,030
Er...

1060
01:11:45,080 --> 01:11:46,910
Oh!

1061
01:11:46,960 --> 01:11:50,400
~ Oh, I'm sorry. ~ Oh. ~ I'd better
get that. I won't be a tick.

1062
01:11:58,000 --> 01:12:01,190
Ah, Mrs Silver.
I was just wondering,

1063
01:12:01,240 --> 01:12:04,590
might this little chap
belong to you, my dear lady?

1064
01:12:04,640 --> 01:12:08,750
Oh, no! Oh, no! My Alfie's much
larger than that these days.

1065
01:12:08,800 --> 01:12:11,430
He was just coming out of Mr Hoppy's
flat and I thought,

1066
01:12:11,480 --> 01:12:14,030
but it's Mrs Silver that has
the tortoise, isn't it?

1067
01:12:14,080 --> 01:12:16,750
Yes, quite. Well... Yes...

1068
01:12:16,800 --> 01:12:18,790
Oh, no...

1069
01:12:18,840 --> 01:12:21,430
He does look very like Alfie
when he was little,

1070
01:12:21,480 --> 01:12:23,550
but he can't be darling Alfie.

1071
01:12:23,600 --> 01:12:27,190
Cos darling Alfie has
doubled his size in the last month.

1072
01:12:27,240 --> 01:12:28,750
Hasn't he, Mr Hoppy?

1073
01:12:28,800 --> 01:12:31,510
~ Doubled in size?
~ Yes. ~ In a month? ~ Yes.

1074
01:12:31,560 --> 01:12:33,430
~ A tortoise? ~ Yes.

1075
01:12:33,480 --> 01:12:37,830
Mr Hoppy gave me this little poem
of North African origin and said

1076
01:12:37,880 --> 01:12:43,310
if I recited it to Alfie three times
a day, he would grow much...

1077
01:12:43,360 --> 01:12:45,360
much larger...

1078
01:12:46,560 --> 01:12:49,560
A little poem of North African
extraction?

1079
01:12:51,600 --> 01:12:54,510
Yes. Bedouin, I believe.

1080
01:12:54,560 --> 01:12:56,670
Three times a day?

1081
01:12:56,720 --> 01:12:58,470
Yes, before meals.

1082
01:12:58,520 --> 01:13:03,390
Well, I'm not a biologist.
I'm not Charles Darwin!

1083
01:13:03,440 --> 01:13:07,070
I'm not David bloody Attenborough,
but I suspect Mr Hoppy here

1084
01:13:07,120 --> 01:13:10,430
has been playing a little joke
on you, my dear Mrs Silver.

1085
01:13:10,480 --> 01:13:11,990
Mr...

1086
01:13:12,040 --> 01:13:15,550
~ Mr Hoppy? ~ Hoppy!
You're a dark horse, aren't you?

1087
01:13:15,600 --> 01:13:17,960
Should have kept
a sharper eye on you.

1088
01:13:20,120 --> 01:13:21,950
Yes...

1089
01:13:22,000 --> 01:13:24,750
~ Well, I think
he might be mine after all. ~ Oh.

1090
01:13:24,800 --> 01:13:26,520
Thank you very much.

1091
01:13:28,040 --> 01:13:31,880
~ Now, if you'd excuse me
for a moment... ~ Yes, of course.

1092
01:13:32,960 --> 01:13:35,430
Don't forget our date on Tuesday.

1093
01:13:35,480 --> 01:13:38,830
We'll have lots to talk about.
Snakes in the grass, etc...

1094
01:13:38,880 --> 01:13:41,390
~ I can't wait! ~ Well,
we can discuss that later.

1095
01:13:41,440 --> 01:13:42,990
Hoppy...

1096
01:13:43,040 --> 01:13:45,790
Good to see you.

1097
01:13:45,840 --> 01:13:50,120
Who'd have thought it, eh?
Who'd have damn well thought it?

1098
01:13:57,520 --> 01:14:00,270
~ So... ~ Yes.

1099
01:14:00,320 --> 01:14:04,120
~ You've been swapping tortoises. ~ Yes,
I have. A number of little swaps.

1100
01:14:06,240 --> 01:14:09,190
~ And that's not Alfie. ~ No, it isn't.

1101
01:14:09,240 --> 01:14:11,070
Who is it?

1102
01:14:11,120 --> 01:14:13,640
Oh, his name is Tyson.
He's quite nice.

1103
01:14:17,040 --> 01:14:21,390
And all that... Esio Trot stuff
is just nonsense.

1104
01:14:21,440 --> 01:14:23,160
I'm afraid so.

1105
01:14:24,280 --> 01:14:27,510
I feel such a fool.

1106
01:14:27,560 --> 01:14:30,830
I never was the brightest bulb
in the chandelier.

1107
01:14:30,880 --> 01:14:34,230
~ Maybe not, but you have many other
wonderful qualities... ~ Ssh!

1108
01:14:34,280 --> 01:14:36,400
Not at all the time for that.

1109
01:14:44,120 --> 01:14:46,590
OK, I guess I should go now.

1110
01:14:46,640 --> 01:14:48,990
Yes, if you would.

1111
01:14:49,040 --> 01:14:50,880
Thank you.

1112
01:15:30,400 --> 01:15:34,000
♪ In my solitude

1113
01:15:37,640 --> 01:15:42,800
♪ You haunt me

1114
01:15:45,520 --> 01:15:48,880
♪ With revelries

1115
01:15:50,600 --> 01:15:53,600
♪ Of days gone by

1116
01:15:58,080 --> 01:16:01,120
♪ In my solitude

1117
01:16:05,520 --> 01:16:10,240
♪ You taunt me

1118
01:16:12,880 --> 01:16:16,280
♪ With memories

1119
01:16:18,880 --> 01:16:21,800
♪ That never die

1120
01:16:27,600 --> 01:16:30,560
♪ Yes, I sit in my chair

1121
01:16:31,840 --> 01:16:34,280
♪ I fill with despair

1122
01:16:35,720 --> 01:16:39,670
♪ As no-one could be so sad... ♪

1123
01:16:39,720 --> 01:16:43,110
You're looking absolutely ravishing
this evening, Lavinia.

1124
01:16:43,160 --> 01:16:44,550
Oh, thank you.

1125
01:16:44,600 --> 01:16:48,470
I thought we might just
eat in at my place.

1126
01:16:48,520 --> 01:16:50,750
Oh.

1127
01:16:50,800 --> 01:16:52,430
And then I thought...

1128
01:16:52,480 --> 01:16:56,670
why not go to the most expensive
restaurant in London?

1129
01:16:56,720 --> 01:16:58,230
Oh!

1130
01:16:58,280 --> 01:17:00,550
How lovely!

1131
01:17:04,440 --> 01:17:08,960
♪ I'm praying

1132
01:17:11,680 --> 01:17:14,870
♪ Dear Lord above

1133
01:17:14,920 --> 01:17:16,950
♪ Oh, yes

1134
01:17:17,000 --> 01:17:20,120
♪ Send back my love... ♪

1135
01:17:33,440 --> 01:17:35,110
Hello, Dolly. Darth.

1136
01:17:35,160 --> 01:17:38,870
You guys should be
in the pet shop with the others.

1137
01:17:38,920 --> 01:17:41,640
Where have you guys been hiding?
Huh?

1138
01:17:43,560 --> 01:17:46,040
So, that IS the way it goes.

1139
01:18:01,160 --> 01:18:06,840
No, you don't just stop loving
someone because they don't love you.

1140
01:18:18,040 --> 01:18:22,040
♪ In my solitude

1141
01:18:24,840 --> 01:18:29,640
♪ I'm praying

1142
01:18:32,480 --> 01:18:35,390
♪ Dear Lord above

1143
01:18:35,440 --> 01:18:38,030
♪ Oh, yes

1144
01:18:38,080 --> 01:18:43,800
♪ Send back my love. ♪

1145
01:18:51,400 --> 01:18:54,710
Is that really the end of the story,
Daddy?

1146
01:18:54,760 --> 01:18:58,310
Yes, buddy. I'm sorry to say it is.

1147
01:18:58,360 --> 01:19:00,470
Mr Hoppy doesn't get the girl.

1148
01:19:00,520 --> 01:19:04,350
I'm afraid he'll probably spend
the rest of his life alone.

1149
01:19:04,400 --> 01:19:07,990
Which won't be very long,
seeing how old he is.

1150
01:19:08,040 --> 01:19:10,670
Which could be for absolutely ages,
Roberta,

1151
01:19:10,720 --> 01:19:14,240
seeing how long
people live these days!

1152
01:19:17,080 --> 01:19:21,270
Not the ending you were expecting,
I realise that.

1153
01:19:21,320 --> 01:19:26,070
But it's still a story worth telling
because he gave it a go.

1154
01:19:26,120 --> 01:19:28,390
And that's what matters.

1155
01:19:28,440 --> 01:19:31,150
Love in your heart wasn't
put there to stay.

1156
01:19:31,200 --> 01:19:33,640
Love isn't love
till you give it away.

1157
01:19:35,320 --> 01:19:37,870
~ I give him a year. Tops. ~ Shush!

1158
01:19:37,920 --> 01:19:40,070
You saw how he was yesterday,

1159
01:19:40,120 --> 01:19:43,040
when he came down to our flat
in the afternoon.

1160
01:19:45,880 --> 01:19:49,550
Hello. I have a present
for you and your brother.

1161
01:19:49,600 --> 01:19:51,270
Come in.

1162
01:19:51,320 --> 01:19:52,750
Come on in.

1163
01:19:52,800 --> 01:19:54,590
No, that's all right.

1164
01:19:54,640 --> 01:19:56,310
Philip!

1165
01:19:56,360 --> 01:19:59,520
Oh, it's OK, Philip.
I have a present for you.

1166
01:20:01,360 --> 01:20:05,990
See? This one's name is Darth
and that one's name is Dolly.

1167
01:20:06,040 --> 01:20:10,280
'He gave us Dolly and little Darth
and he was really sad.

1168
01:20:14,160 --> 01:20:16,470
'And then you asked him in
for a drink

1169
01:20:16,520 --> 01:20:19,040
'and he told you and Mum
the whole story.

1170
01:20:27,400 --> 01:20:28,990
'And now he's leaving.'

1171
01:20:29,040 --> 01:20:31,590
~ Can't you stop him? ~ No.

1172
01:20:31,640 --> 01:20:34,880
He's made up his mind
the deed is done.

1173
01:20:38,040 --> 01:20:40,960
Not all stories have happy endings.

1174
01:21:00,000 --> 01:21:01,680
They're early.

1175
01:21:06,440 --> 01:21:07,870
Hi...

1176
01:21:07,920 --> 01:21:09,560
Mr Hoppy?

1177
01:21:11,040 --> 01:21:13,230
~ Are you leaving? ~ Yes, that's right.

1178
01:21:13,280 --> 01:21:16,350
I felt it best after
the unfortunate incident.

1179
01:21:16,400 --> 01:21:19,830
I didn't know.
I'm glad I came up, then.

1180
01:21:19,880 --> 01:21:21,080
Oh...

1181
01:21:24,200 --> 01:21:27,470
One of your plants must have blown
over the balcony.

1182
01:21:27,520 --> 01:21:30,470
~ I thought I should return it.
~ Oh, yes.

1183
01:21:30,520 --> 01:21:32,120
~ Thank you. ~ You're welcome.

1184
01:21:34,880 --> 01:21:37,560
Er... I... Er...

1185
01:21:38,880 --> 01:21:44,230
May I... just say that...
I hope you and Mr Pringle

1186
01:21:44,280 --> 01:21:46,830
will be very happy.

1187
01:21:46,880 --> 01:21:49,630
Oh, well... that's very kind of you,
Mr Hoppy.

1188
01:21:49,680 --> 01:21:52,510
But I'm afraid I could never
be happy with Mr Pringle.

1189
01:21:52,560 --> 01:21:56,070
I know he's a real pal of yours,
but he is without doubt

1190
01:21:56,120 --> 01:21:59,070
the world's most spectacular
arse-paralysing bore.

1191
01:21:59,120 --> 01:22:00,990
And his table manners are atrocious.

1192
01:22:01,040 --> 01:22:03,950
I only had two prawns
in my very overpriced,

1193
01:22:04,000 --> 01:22:06,630
under-prawned prawn cocktail.
He took both of them.

1194
01:22:06,680 --> 01:22:10,190
I'm not saying it was the worst
experience of my life,

1195
01:22:10,240 --> 01:22:12,910
but I was once mugged in Maida Vale
underground station

1196
01:22:12,960 --> 01:22:14,510
by a Russian chap with a big knife

1197
01:22:14,560 --> 01:22:16,800
and our date was definitely
worse than that.

1198
01:22:17,800 --> 01:22:19,480
My goodness!

1199
01:22:21,440 --> 01:22:25,030
I just have a couple of other things
I want to say.

1200
01:22:25,080 --> 01:22:27,750
Parish notices, as it were.

1201
01:22:27,800 --> 01:22:29,310
Sure.

1202
01:22:29,360 --> 01:22:31,070
Er...

1203
01:22:31,120 --> 01:22:36,590
First, I think it's only fair to tell
you... Well, before you leave...

1204
01:22:36,640 --> 01:22:38,470
that, um...

1205
01:22:38,520 --> 01:22:43,310
ever since I first squeezed up to you
in the lift on my first day,

1206
01:22:43,360 --> 01:22:46,800
I've actually had
the most frightful crush on you.

1207
01:22:47,800 --> 01:22:50,320
~ I beg your pardon?
~ You heard me, Hoppy.

1208
01:22:51,320 --> 01:22:53,830
Did you never think
it was slightly odd

1209
01:22:53,880 --> 01:22:56,800
that we ended up in the lift together
quite so often?

1210
01:23:07,640 --> 01:23:09,270
Ooh!

1211
01:23:09,320 --> 01:23:11,040
Spring at last!

1212
01:23:22,600 --> 01:23:25,280
~ Oh! Hello, Mr Hoppy!
~ Oh...

1213
01:23:33,040 --> 01:23:34,590
Oh.

1214
01:23:34,640 --> 01:23:37,440
But then you went and tricked me.

1215
01:23:38,480 --> 01:23:40,950
I know, and I'm...

1216
01:23:41,000 --> 01:23:45,070
Mrs Silver, I'm more sorry
than you can possibly imagine.

1217
01:23:45,120 --> 01:23:47,120
~ It ruined everything. ~ I know.

1218
01:23:49,400 --> 01:23:51,510
But then...

1219
01:23:51,560 --> 01:23:56,590
there is an argument that a man
who would go to such terrible trouble

1220
01:23:56,640 --> 01:23:59,520
to make a woman's dreams come true...

1221
01:24:01,000 --> 01:24:06,480
Well... that man might be
very exceptional indeed.

1222
01:24:09,360 --> 01:24:13,600
So, the final thing I have to say,
I think it's the last...

1223
01:24:14,720 --> 01:24:17,950
.. is that, in short,

1224
01:24:18,000 --> 01:24:20,710
the answer to your earlier question,
yes.

1225
01:24:20,760 --> 01:24:24,120
I will marry you.
If you still want me.

1226
01:24:25,720 --> 01:24:27,200
Thank you very much for asking.

1227
01:24:29,600 --> 01:24:31,440
Oh, Mrs Silver!

1228
01:24:35,240 --> 01:24:37,350
Thank you.

1229
01:24:37,400 --> 01:24:39,390
Well...

1230
01:24:39,440 --> 01:24:42,640
I think we can do better than that,
don't you?

1231
01:24:58,920 --> 01:25:00,230
How do you feel?

1232
01:25:00,280 --> 01:25:03,400
Taller.

1233
01:25:15,360 --> 01:25:17,710
♪ Just kiss me once and kiss me twice

1234
01:25:17,760 --> 01:25:20,110
♪ Then kiss me once again

1235
01:25:20,160 --> 01:25:24,320
♪ It's been a long, long time

1236
01:25:25,440 --> 01:25:27,790
♪ Haven't felt like this, my dear

1237
01:25:27,840 --> 01:25:30,270
♪ Since can't remember when

1238
01:25:30,320 --> 01:25:34,070
♪ It's been a long, long time

1239
01:25:34,120 --> 01:25:36,950
♪ You'll never know how many dreams

1240
01:25:37,000 --> 01:25:40,030
♪ I've dreamed about you

1241
01:25:40,080 --> 01:25:44,910
♪ Or just how empty
they all seemed without you

1242
01:25:44,960 --> 01:25:47,670
♪ So kiss me once, then kiss me twice

1243
01:25:47,720 --> 01:25:49,950
♪ Then kiss me once again

1244
01:25:50,000 --> 01:25:53,280
♪ It's been a long, long time... ♪

1245
01:26:05,480 --> 01:26:06,960
Oh!

1246
01:26:08,400 --> 01:26:10,720
My rods! Are they OK?

1247
01:26:11,720 --> 01:26:13,280
My rods!

1248
01:26:35,960 --> 01:26:39,110
♪ Yes, kiss me once, kiss me twice

1249
01:26:39,160 --> 01:26:41,190
♪ Kiss me once again

1250
01:26:41,240 --> 01:26:45,830
♪ It's been a long, long, long time

1251
01:26:45,880 --> 01:26:48,990
♪ Haven't felt like this, my dear

1252
01:26:49,040 --> 01:26:51,190
♪ Since can't remember when

1253
01:26:51,240 --> 01:26:55,670
♪ It's been a long, long time

1254
01:26:55,720 --> 01:26:58,390
♪ You'll never know how many dreams

1255
01:26:58,440 --> 01:27:00,830
♪ I dream about you

1256
01:27:00,880 --> 01:27:05,430
♪ Or just how empty
they all seemed without you

1257
01:27:05,480 --> 01:27:08,550
♪ So, kiss me once
then kiss me twice

1258
01:27:08,600 --> 01:27:10,950
♪ And kiss me once again

1259
01:27:11,000 --> 01:27:14,630
♪ It's been a long, ba-ba-ba-boo time

1260
01:27:14,680 --> 01:27:20,200
♪ Oh, yeah! ♪