1 00:00:25,501 --> 00:00:28,459 Do you ever pretend you're dead at home, just practise? 2 00:00:33,917 --> 00:00:37,042 Do you ever pretend you're dead in the bath... 3 00:00:37,167 --> 00:00:40,001 just hold your nose and float around like a bloated corpse? 4 00:00:45,376 --> 00:00:49,209 Have you ever contemplated suicide 5 00:00:49,334 --> 00:00:51,792 just because you're in a convenient spot to do it? 6 00:00:54,501 --> 00:00:57,084 You're not particularly unhappy... 7 00:00:57,209 --> 00:01:00,959 'Yeah, that'd work, if I was going to do it.' 8 00:01:01,084 --> 00:01:03,917 Like, I was bushwalking the other day with some friends. 9 00:01:04,042 --> 00:01:07,209 It was a beautiful day. We were all connecting and chatting. 10 00:01:07,334 --> 00:01:09,667 We went on this big ridge, we looked at the horizon. 11 00:01:09,792 --> 00:01:13,417 There's a huge drop. I looked over, and the voice in my head went, 'Jump.' 12 00:01:15,376 --> 00:01:17,834 'What?' 'You heard me.' 13 00:01:17,959 --> 00:01:19,667 'Why?' 'You know why.' 14 00:01:21,542 --> 00:01:24,126 I was making some toast the other morning. 15 00:01:24,251 --> 00:01:29,667 Had the knife in my hand, looking at the toaster, waiting for it to come up. 16 00:01:29,792 --> 00:01:32,584 The voice said, 'Stick it in.' 17 00:01:32,709 --> 00:01:34,417 'Why?' 'You know why.' 18 00:01:38,001 --> 00:01:39,376 I blame my father. 19 00:01:39,501 --> 00:01:42,626 People always say to me, 'Where do you get your sense of humour from?' 20 00:01:42,751 --> 00:01:44,251 I say, 'My old man,' 21 00:01:44,376 --> 00:01:47,876 'cause I figured out early on that there was something really wrong with him. 22 00:01:58,334 --> 00:02:02,042 She goes, 'You're better looking in real life.' 23 00:02:02,167 --> 00:02:04,126 Sounds like a compliment. 24 00:02:07,376 --> 00:02:11,334 What it means is, 'Because on TV, you look like shit.' 25 00:02:11,459 --> 00:02:15,834 You know, my whole life, I've tried to improve myself, 26 00:02:15,959 --> 00:02:19,334 ever since I was a young kid. I used to read a lot, try and make myself better. 27 00:02:19,459 --> 00:02:25,042 You know what I've realised now that I'm older? You can't. It's hopeless. 28 00:02:25,167 --> 00:02:28,751 You'll never be anything different than what you are. 29 00:02:28,876 --> 00:02:31,042 It's a happy story! 30 00:02:35,501 --> 00:02:37,001 When I was a kid... 31 00:02:37,126 --> 00:02:41,126 For a long time, I thought my mother was dead, when I was a kid. 32 00:02:41,251 --> 00:02:45,084 I walked in the lounge room... 'Dad?' He goes, 'What?' 33 00:02:45,209 --> 00:02:46,834 'Where's Mum?' 'Your mother? 34 00:02:46,959 --> 00:02:49,334 She went mad and shot herself.' 35 00:02:51,792 --> 00:02:53,292 I was eight. 36 00:02:57,542 --> 00:03:02,167 I recently went to an old girlfriend's wedding. I don't recommend it. 37 00:03:02,292 --> 00:03:05,084 I thought it'd be cool, going to an old girlfriend's wedding. 38 00:03:05,209 --> 00:03:09,042 It's all a bit French and everything... 'Cool. We're all happy now.' 39 00:03:09,167 --> 00:03:10,667 Shit. 40 00:03:10,792 --> 00:03:16,417 The predominant feeling at an old girlfriend's wedding is, failure. 41 00:03:16,542 --> 00:03:20,626 Look at the happy couple on the altar. 'She's happy now. 42 00:03:20,751 --> 00:03:24,167 I've never seen her smile like that before.' 43 00:03:27,334 --> 00:03:33,167 I've still got old girlfriends' numbers in my phone. I can't let go. 44 00:03:33,292 --> 00:03:37,126 Some part of me thinks, 'Maybe we'll get back together. 45 00:03:37,251 --> 00:03:40,876 Maybe I'll ring them, drunk, at two in the morning... 46 00:03:41,001 --> 00:03:45,376 'Hey! How are you? I've been thinking about you lately. 47 00:03:45,501 --> 00:03:47,042 Let's have a kid.' 48 00:03:55,167 --> 00:03:58,751 What can I say about this fella? I mean... 49 00:03:58,876 --> 00:04:00,376 We both met starting out, 50 00:04:00,501 --> 00:04:04,001 and it's just been an absolute pleasure, watching him grow. 51 00:04:04,126 --> 00:04:08,667 I love him like a brother, and I'd like to propose a toast to my friend. 52 00:04:08,792 --> 00:04:12,376 Manny, congratulations on a really successful tour, mate. 53 00:04:12,501 --> 00:04:14,334 Here's to Manny. 54 00:04:14,459 --> 00:04:16,542 Thanks, everyone. Cheers. 55 00:04:20,042 --> 00:04:22,251 Is your old man coming? 56 00:04:22,376 --> 00:04:24,376 Nah. Knew he wouldn't. 57 00:04:24,501 --> 00:04:27,376 - Never does. - Ah. 58 00:04:27,501 --> 00:04:31,667 Oh, anyway, let's just go and enjoy ourselves, eh? 59 00:04:31,792 --> 00:04:33,292 Yeah. 60 00:04:33,417 --> 00:04:35,167 Come on, get into it. 61 00:04:35,292 --> 00:04:37,251 I can't be bothered. 62 00:04:37,376 --> 00:04:38,917 Mate, you need a woman. 63 00:04:39,042 --> 00:04:41,042 Who are half these people, anyway? 64 00:04:41,167 --> 00:04:44,084 It doesn't matter. There's some fucking gold in there, mate. 65 00:04:44,209 --> 00:04:45,709 Yeah. 66 00:04:45,834 --> 00:04:48,959 Just come and meet some of them. Come on. 67 00:04:49,084 --> 00:04:52,542 Come on, mate. Just go and have a dance! 68 00:04:52,667 --> 00:04:54,834 Come on! 69 00:04:54,959 --> 00:04:57,209 I really connect to everything you say. 70 00:04:57,334 --> 00:05:01,167 Thanks. I appreciate that, but it's just jokes. 71 00:05:01,292 --> 00:05:02,959 No, you don't understand. 72 00:05:03,084 --> 00:05:05,209 What you say is the truth. 73 00:05:05,334 --> 00:05:06,834 You mean, like a prophet? 74 00:05:06,959 --> 00:05:09,126 Yes, you are, in a way. 75 00:05:09,251 --> 00:05:12,001 Would it be strange if I asked you for a hug? 76 00:05:12,126 --> 00:05:13,834 Probably. 77 00:05:13,959 --> 00:05:16,167 OK. Ah, sorry. 78 00:05:16,292 --> 00:05:17,792 Nah, it's alright. 79 00:05:19,001 --> 00:05:20,501 Anyway, um... 80 00:05:22,792 --> 00:05:27,626 When we had hangovers, we would have these Manny days. 81 00:05:27,751 --> 00:05:32,209 We'd all get together and make these really strong bloody Marys 82 00:05:32,334 --> 00:05:33,917 and watch your DVDs. 83 00:05:34,042 --> 00:05:36,792 What, you only find me funny when you're drunk? 84 00:05:38,126 --> 00:05:39,626 No, no. I... 85 00:05:41,709 --> 00:05:43,584 So, are you, like, 86 00:05:43,709 --> 00:05:45,709 a manic depressive? 87 00:05:45,834 --> 00:05:48,417 - Yeah, I am, a bit. - So am I. 88 00:05:48,542 --> 00:05:51,084 No, I'm not really. Sorry. 89 00:05:54,501 --> 00:05:58,334 Apparently, you need, like, four hugs a day to actually survive. 90 00:05:58,459 --> 00:06:01,209 If you don't get hugs, if people don't get hugs, 91 00:06:01,334 --> 00:06:03,042 they can actually die. 92 00:06:04,042 --> 00:06:07,417 How do you know? How do you know if it's manic depression? 93 00:06:07,542 --> 00:06:10,834 You might just be miserable. Misery's not a disease. 94 00:06:10,959 --> 00:06:12,459 It's just misery. 95 00:06:14,917 --> 00:06:16,792 Nothing wrong with being miserable, 96 00:06:16,917 --> 00:06:19,834 unless you hang around a bunch of happy people. 97 00:06:19,959 --> 00:06:21,584 - They shit me. - Do they? 98 00:06:21,709 --> 00:06:23,792 Yeah. Happy people shit me. 99 00:06:24,792 --> 00:06:26,334 You don't shit me. 100 00:06:26,459 --> 00:06:27,959 Thank you. 101 00:06:28,084 --> 00:06:30,459 'Cause you look like how I feel. 102 00:06:31,626 --> 00:06:34,751 You To Me Are Everything 103 00:06:45,292 --> 00:06:49,001 Am I Ever Gonna See Your Face Again? 104 00:06:52,126 --> 00:06:55,126 I'm Not Coming Back 105 00:07:05,667 --> 00:07:08,584 What are you doing out here, mate? There's girls in there. 106 00:07:08,709 --> 00:07:10,626 What am I going to do with them? 107 00:07:10,751 --> 00:07:12,501 Have sex with one of them. 108 00:07:12,626 --> 00:07:14,167 I might just go home. 109 00:07:16,042 --> 00:07:18,417 I've got some good news for you. 110 00:07:19,792 --> 00:07:22,042 That's Joel Hillman. 111 00:07:22,167 --> 00:07:23,876 - Who? - Joel Hillman. 112 00:07:24,001 --> 00:07:26,667 - The American promoter. Remember? - Oh! Yeah, yeah. 113 00:07:26,792 --> 00:07:28,667 Mate, the big US tour's coming off. 114 00:07:28,792 --> 00:07:30,292 Yeah, right. Yeah. 115 00:07:31,917 --> 00:07:33,417 You're a classic, mate. 116 00:07:33,542 --> 00:07:35,042 What? 117 00:07:35,167 --> 00:07:37,584 - You alright? - Yeah, I'm alright. 118 00:07:37,709 --> 00:07:39,209 Yeah, I'm fine. 119 00:07:40,334 --> 00:07:42,876 - Cheers, mate. - Cheers, mate. 120 00:07:43,001 --> 00:07:44,709 All good. 121 00:07:46,126 --> 00:07:47,834 America, here we come. 122 00:07:50,501 --> 00:07:52,209 I've never been there. 123 00:07:54,376 --> 00:07:56,334 They shouldn't let you in. 124 00:08:48,376 --> 00:08:53,459 You know how they say, 'Smile, and the whole world smiles with you'? 125 00:08:53,584 --> 00:08:57,709 No, they don't. They think there's something wrong with you. 126 00:08:57,834 --> 00:09:00,042 I see someone walking down the street, smiling, 127 00:09:00,167 --> 00:09:02,876 the first thing I think is, 'Drugs.' 128 00:09:04,917 --> 00:09:08,751 If you see someone happy, you think there's something wrong with them. 129 00:09:08,876 --> 00:09:11,626 You don't notice all the miserable, unhappy people though. 130 00:09:11,751 --> 00:09:14,167 They fade in the background, because that's normal. 131 00:09:15,709 --> 00:09:17,917 You know, when you're famous... 132 00:09:18,042 --> 00:09:21,001 Being famous is, well, it's hard sometimes. 133 00:09:21,126 --> 00:09:23,042 It's like you're a marked man. 134 00:09:23,167 --> 00:09:25,542 You walk the street, people are staring at you. 135 00:09:25,667 --> 00:09:29,292 They point, whisper your name. 'There's Manny over there. Look at him. 136 00:09:29,417 --> 00:09:31,251 He's got a funny head.' 137 00:09:31,376 --> 00:09:34,542 Like you've done something wrong. Sometimes I feel like a criminal. 138 00:09:34,667 --> 00:09:36,626 All I did was make them laugh. 139 00:09:36,751 --> 00:09:39,167 Even prostitutes recognise me. 140 00:09:39,292 --> 00:09:44,126 I walked past one the other day. 'Hey, Manny, want to come up for a freebie?' 141 00:09:44,251 --> 00:09:46,042 'No, thanks. I'll pay.' 142 00:10:18,126 --> 00:10:19,626 G'day, mate. 143 00:10:21,001 --> 00:10:22,501 How are you? 144 00:10:23,751 --> 00:10:25,292 You're a nice puppy. 145 00:10:26,376 --> 00:10:28,792 You by yourself tonight, hm? 146 00:10:30,042 --> 00:10:31,542 By yourself? 147 00:10:33,792 --> 00:10:35,334 Where's your mates? 148 00:10:36,501 --> 00:10:38,542 Where's your mates? 149 00:10:38,667 --> 00:10:40,167 Did they go on? 150 00:10:43,751 --> 00:10:45,251 See you next time. 151 00:10:52,209 --> 00:10:55,126 Abs workout targets all those flabby bits 152 00:10:55,251 --> 00:10:56,751 I just couldn't get rid of. 153 00:10:56,876 --> 00:10:58,376 I have been working out... 154 00:11:25,667 --> 00:11:29,417 Welcome to Fantasy Hotline. We're just putting you through to our first... 155 00:11:44,167 --> 00:11:45,876 Welcome to Fantasy Hotline. 156 00:11:46,001 --> 00:11:49,459 I'm just putting you through to our first available lady. 157 00:11:49,584 --> 00:11:54,167 The young and beautiful Caroline is ready to take your call. 158 00:11:55,709 --> 00:11:57,501 - Hello? - Hello? 159 00:11:57,626 --> 00:12:00,126 Hi. I'm Caroline. 160 00:12:00,251 --> 00:12:01,959 Who am I talking to? 161 00:12:02,084 --> 00:12:03,834 Me. I'm... Thomas. 162 00:12:03,959 --> 00:12:08,501 Thomas! Tell me what you look like, Thomas. 163 00:12:09,501 --> 00:12:12,167 I've got brown skin. I'm really tall. 164 00:12:12,292 --> 00:12:16,709 Mmm! Tall men turn me on, Thomas. 165 00:12:16,834 --> 00:12:21,167 Yeah. We're all tall in my family. What do you look like? 166 00:12:21,292 --> 00:12:25,834 - Long, leggy, curvaceous. - Oh, yeah? 167 00:12:25,959 --> 00:12:28,501 I love long, leggy, curvaceous. 168 00:12:28,626 --> 00:12:32,376 Tell me, Thomas, what turns you on? 169 00:12:32,501 --> 00:12:37,042 Whatever. I like to do anything. What do you like? 170 00:12:37,167 --> 00:12:41,001 Let's start with a long and slow back massage. 171 00:12:41,126 --> 00:12:43,876 What? You're going to give me a back massage? 172 00:12:44,001 --> 00:12:46,001 Oh, yeah! You'll love it. 173 00:12:46,126 --> 00:12:49,167 - I don't really want a back massage. - You're so tense! 174 00:12:49,292 --> 00:12:51,959 - No, I don't want one. - Let me press my thumb... 175 00:12:52,084 --> 00:12:53,792 I said I don't want one. 176 00:12:58,042 --> 00:12:59,876 Back massage? 177 00:13:00,001 --> 00:13:02,001 I don't want a back massage! 178 00:13:02,126 --> 00:13:04,126 It's my money. $5 a minute. 179 00:13:04,251 --> 00:13:07,292 Fuck. It's cheaper to go and get a proper massage. 180 00:13:24,417 --> 00:13:26,292 Hello? 181 00:13:26,417 --> 00:13:28,459 This is my fantasy. 182 00:13:28,584 --> 00:13:32,459 I don't lay in bed at night thinking, 'I'd love to have a back massage 183 00:13:32,584 --> 00:13:34,792 over the phone.' 184 00:13:34,917 --> 00:13:40,084 Well. Mm, I really upset you. 185 00:13:40,209 --> 00:13:42,376 Oh, sorry. 186 00:13:42,501 --> 00:13:44,626 Sorry I snapped at you. 187 00:13:44,751 --> 00:13:47,042 I just feel like talking, really. 188 00:13:49,167 --> 00:13:51,417 What do you want to talk about? 189 00:13:52,417 --> 00:13:55,834 Um, back massages? Just kidding. 190 00:13:56,834 --> 00:13:58,667 Whatever. 191 00:13:58,792 --> 00:14:01,042 It's better than watching TV. 192 00:14:03,084 --> 00:14:06,542 Thomas. Sounds like a Czech name. 193 00:14:06,667 --> 00:14:08,167 Are you Czech? 194 00:14:09,292 --> 00:14:10,959 I don't know. 195 00:14:11,084 --> 00:14:13,001 I'm a bit of everything, really. 196 00:14:13,126 --> 00:14:14,667 I'm a mongrel. 197 00:14:14,792 --> 00:14:17,084 Mm, sounds strong. 198 00:14:17,209 --> 00:14:18,709 Yeah. 199 00:14:18,834 --> 00:14:20,459 I got big arms. 200 00:14:21,834 --> 00:14:23,876 I've got a beard. 201 00:14:24,001 --> 00:14:25,501 I'm really manly. 202 00:14:27,876 --> 00:14:29,376 No, I'm not. 203 00:14:30,376 --> 00:14:32,542 I'm bullshitting. 204 00:14:32,667 --> 00:14:36,292 I'm 5'7", bald. I've got wing nuts. 205 00:14:36,417 --> 00:14:37,917 What's a wing nut? 206 00:14:38,042 --> 00:14:42,334 Wing nuts. You know when your ears stick out like a wing nut? 207 00:14:42,459 --> 00:14:44,042 Wing nut? 208 00:14:44,167 --> 00:14:47,001 Yeah, that's what you call someone with big ears... wing nuts. 209 00:14:47,126 --> 00:14:50,042 Anyway, that's what I've got... fucking wing nuts. 210 00:14:51,792 --> 00:14:54,459 You think it's funny that somebody's got wing nuts, do you? 211 00:14:54,584 --> 00:14:58,459 No! I think it's funny that you call them 'wing nuts'. 212 00:14:58,584 --> 00:15:01,917 Anyway, let's get off my wing nuts. Let's talk about something else. 213 00:15:02,042 --> 00:15:05,084 This is supposed to be an erotic phone call, isn't it? 214 00:15:05,209 --> 00:15:07,209 If you want it to be. 215 00:15:07,334 --> 00:15:08,834 Do you want it to be? 216 00:15:09,834 --> 00:15:12,167 Not really. 217 00:15:12,292 --> 00:15:13,792 You're funny. 218 00:15:16,209 --> 00:15:19,584 Yeah, well, that's one thing I'm good at. 219 00:15:19,709 --> 00:15:23,251 What, you're only good at one thing? 220 00:15:24,251 --> 00:15:26,167 Probably. 221 00:15:26,292 --> 00:15:31,417 I'm not good at anything else, really. I mean, sometimes I feel like a loser. 222 00:15:31,542 --> 00:15:35,001 Yeah? Why do you feel like that? 223 00:15:35,126 --> 00:15:38,709 Ah, let me see... it's three in the morning, I've got the curtains drawn. 224 00:15:38,834 --> 00:15:42,501 I'm talking to someone I don't even know, having an erotic phone call. 225 00:15:42,626 --> 00:15:44,126 I mean... loser. 226 00:15:45,417 --> 00:15:47,834 I'm kind of doing the same thing. 227 00:15:47,959 --> 00:15:50,667 Yeah, but at least you're getting paid for it. 228 00:15:50,792 --> 00:15:52,834 Anyway... 229 00:15:52,959 --> 00:15:56,667 it's late. Probably should go. 230 00:15:56,792 --> 00:15:59,876 It's been nice talking to you though. Caroline, was it? 231 00:16:00,001 --> 00:16:02,751 Yeah. OK, Thomas. 232 00:16:02,876 --> 00:16:04,501 See ya. 233 00:16:04,626 --> 00:16:06,126 Bye. 234 00:16:40,167 --> 00:16:41,667 Hello? 235 00:16:41,792 --> 00:16:43,709 - Hello? - Hello. 236 00:16:43,834 --> 00:16:45,917 - Is that Caroline? - Yeah. 237 00:16:46,042 --> 00:16:48,667 It's me, Wing Nuts. 238 00:16:48,792 --> 00:16:53,001 Thomas. You're back again. 239 00:16:53,126 --> 00:16:54,626 Yeah. 240 00:16:57,792 --> 00:16:59,501 Um... 241 00:16:59,626 --> 00:17:01,334 do you ever... 242 00:17:01,459 --> 00:17:06,292 Do you guys, I mean, people that do your thing, 243 00:17:06,417 --> 00:17:10,792 are you allowed to kind of meet up with people you talk on the phone with? 244 00:17:10,917 --> 00:17:12,917 I'm not saying I was thinking of doing that. 245 00:17:13,042 --> 00:17:17,584 I'm glad you're not thinking about it, Thomas, because unfortunately, I can't. 246 00:17:17,709 --> 00:17:19,209 I was just asking. 247 00:17:19,334 --> 00:17:22,917 I'm not saying I was going to do it anyway. 248 00:17:23,042 --> 00:17:26,042 I don't even know you. I mean, you could be a freak or whatever. 249 00:17:28,042 --> 00:17:31,292 - You can always call. - Yeah, I know. 250 00:17:31,417 --> 00:17:33,667 I feel a bit stupid now. 251 00:17:33,792 --> 00:17:37,792 Anyway, I'd better go to bed. It's $5 a minute. 252 00:17:37,917 --> 00:17:39,667 OK. 253 00:17:39,792 --> 00:17:44,584 Anyway, I'll see you. I won't see you. I mean, I'll... 254 00:17:44,709 --> 00:17:46,792 I'll talk to you, whatever. 255 00:17:48,084 --> 00:17:49,584 OK. Bye. 256 00:17:56,001 --> 00:17:57,501 Dickhead. 257 00:18:01,001 --> 00:18:02,501 Yoo! 258 00:18:03,667 --> 00:18:05,584 Go and score a goal, mate. 259 00:18:11,001 --> 00:18:12,626 How did you end up? 260 00:18:12,751 --> 00:18:15,292 Oh, you know, the usual. 261 00:18:15,417 --> 00:18:18,376 Jo was pissed off, I had a spew. 262 00:18:18,501 --> 00:18:20,834 Yeah, good times. 263 00:18:20,959 --> 00:18:23,376 You are a disaster. 264 00:18:23,501 --> 00:18:25,209 Yeah, I know. 265 00:18:25,334 --> 00:18:27,542 So how are you feeling about your time off? 266 00:18:28,626 --> 00:18:30,126 Yeah. 267 00:18:30,251 --> 00:18:32,084 What are you going to do for two months? 268 00:18:32,209 --> 00:18:36,084 Dunno. Sit around, stare out the window, 269 00:18:36,209 --> 00:18:40,459 wonder what's happening in my life, cup of tea, kill myself. 270 00:18:40,584 --> 00:18:43,709 You know, normal shit. 271 00:18:43,834 --> 00:18:48,042 Before you top yourself, Sad Sack, think about the American offer. 272 00:18:48,167 --> 00:18:50,667 Yeah, I will. What are you going to do? 273 00:18:50,792 --> 00:18:52,334 I'm doing it. 274 00:18:52,459 --> 00:18:53,959 Come to Dad, mate! 275 00:19:00,292 --> 00:19:01,834 Jump on Uncle Manny. 276 00:19:01,959 --> 00:19:03,959 Oh! Alright. 277 00:19:04,084 --> 00:19:06,917 - Is that your dad? - No. 278 00:19:07,042 --> 00:19:08,626 Oh, yeah. 279 00:19:08,751 --> 00:19:10,501 He can't say that! 280 00:19:10,626 --> 00:19:12,834 - I'm your real dad. - You're not my daddy. 281 00:19:12,959 --> 00:19:15,251 - He's my dad. - No, he's a drunk. 282 00:19:15,376 --> 00:19:19,209 No, my dad's over there, my dad's over there! 283 00:19:20,251 --> 00:19:23,167 You talk a lot about your father. What does he feel about it? 284 00:19:23,292 --> 00:19:26,209 Ah, he whinges a bit. He's always whingeing. 285 00:19:26,334 --> 00:19:32,292 He's always saying, 'Comb your hair. It looks like a bloody half-sucked mango.' 286 00:19:32,417 --> 00:19:37,459 My head's too big for my body. I've got no arse. I look like a foetus. 287 00:19:37,584 --> 00:19:39,792 You're being a bit hard on yourself, Manny. 288 00:19:39,917 --> 00:19:43,209 - And I've got wing nuts. - You really think you've got wing nuts? 289 00:19:43,334 --> 00:19:45,001 Yeah, look at them. 290 00:19:45,126 --> 00:19:47,876 Either that or my head's too small for my ears. 291 00:19:48,001 --> 00:19:52,042 People always come up and say, 'I just look at you and laugh.' 292 00:19:52,167 --> 00:19:54,751 I don't know whether to take that as a compliment or not. 293 00:19:57,042 --> 00:19:59,834 Right... America. So, do you want to do it or not? 294 00:19:59,959 --> 00:20:02,042 'Cause I need an answer. 295 00:20:02,167 --> 00:20:04,376 Yeah. Why not? 296 00:20:04,501 --> 00:20:07,084 OK. You know it means living there. 297 00:20:07,209 --> 00:20:09,417 They'll effectively own you. Is that a problem? 298 00:20:09,542 --> 00:20:11,209 No. Let's go, let's go. 299 00:20:12,209 --> 00:20:15,834 OK. Alright, we'll get them out here for a show. 300 00:20:15,959 --> 00:20:17,459 Yep. 301 00:20:17,584 --> 00:20:20,834 - There's just one more thing. - What's that? 302 00:20:20,959 --> 00:20:24,542 They want you to go out live on national television, the whole show. 303 00:20:24,667 --> 00:20:26,876 Why? 304 00:20:27,001 --> 00:20:28,709 To see if you can do it. 305 00:20:28,834 --> 00:20:30,542 - What, perform? - Yeah. 306 00:20:30,667 --> 00:20:32,167 I've done it a million times. 307 00:20:32,292 --> 00:20:35,042 What difference does it make if there's a camera in my face? 308 00:20:35,167 --> 00:20:38,584 That's just the way they do it, mate. That's the deal. 309 00:20:38,709 --> 00:20:40,876 So do you want to do it or not? 310 00:20:41,001 --> 00:20:42,501 Yeah, I'll do it. 311 00:20:42,626 --> 00:20:46,084 Gold! Alright, well, I'll book the State. 312 00:20:52,209 --> 00:20:53,917 What the fuck is that? 313 00:20:54,042 --> 00:20:55,876 Dunno, mate. Just eat it. 314 00:21:07,876 --> 00:21:09,917 You love your caramel slice. 315 00:21:10,042 --> 00:21:12,459 Yeah, just like Mum used to make. 316 00:21:15,084 --> 00:21:17,334 - See you, mate. - Ciao, Manny. 317 00:21:22,501 --> 00:21:24,459 Ah, Hermann Hesse. 318 00:21:25,542 --> 00:21:27,042 It's a good book. 319 00:21:27,167 --> 00:21:28,834 - You've read it? - Yeah. 320 00:21:28,959 --> 00:21:31,834 It's about a miserable bloke who wants to kill himself 321 00:21:31,959 --> 00:21:35,584 until he meets a woman who teaches him how to dance and enjoy life. 322 00:21:37,001 --> 00:21:39,167 - Well, there goes the ending. - Oh, sorry. 323 00:21:39,292 --> 00:21:40,792 It's OK. 324 00:21:40,917 --> 00:21:43,459 Anyway, I'm Manny. I ruin novels. 325 00:21:43,584 --> 00:21:45,417 I'm Maria. 326 00:21:45,542 --> 00:21:48,584 - I think I've seen you. - I was just here. 327 00:21:48,709 --> 00:21:51,917 - Anyway, I'd better get going. - OK. 328 00:21:52,042 --> 00:21:54,792 Even though I've got nowhere to go. 329 00:21:54,917 --> 00:21:57,001 - I'll see you around. - OK. 330 00:22:06,959 --> 00:22:08,459 Hey, ah... 331 00:22:08,584 --> 00:22:10,084 Sorry. 332 00:22:12,626 --> 00:22:15,292 Do you reckon I could get your number and call you, 333 00:22:15,417 --> 00:22:19,251 and maybe have a coffee and ruin another book? 334 00:22:22,376 --> 00:22:24,376 Um, sure. 335 00:22:24,501 --> 00:22:26,001 Great. 336 00:22:27,751 --> 00:22:29,251 Do you have a pen? 337 00:22:29,376 --> 00:22:31,001 No. Do you have one? 338 00:22:31,126 --> 00:22:32,626 No. 339 00:22:34,001 --> 00:22:36,126 I think Armando... 340 00:22:36,251 --> 00:22:37,751 Man, here! 341 00:22:39,876 --> 00:22:41,376 Oh. Yep. 342 00:23:24,751 --> 00:23:27,042 The finest comedian! 343 00:23:27,167 --> 00:23:28,667 How are you going, Dad? 344 00:23:28,792 --> 00:23:30,542 How the bloody hell are you? 345 00:23:30,667 --> 00:23:32,792 You finally decided to visit your old man. 346 00:23:32,917 --> 00:23:35,417 - You could visit me. - Here we go. Don't start. 347 00:23:35,542 --> 00:23:37,792 - You started. - You can't argue with you, can you? 348 00:23:37,917 --> 00:23:39,709 You've always got to have the last word. 349 00:23:39,834 --> 00:23:42,001 - If I don't, you will. - How's your shows going? 350 00:23:42,126 --> 00:23:44,376 - Good. You should come one time. - I don't have to. 351 00:23:44,501 --> 00:23:47,626 I know what you talk about. You talk about me half the time. 352 00:23:47,751 --> 00:23:50,167 It's all bloody bullshit anyway. 353 00:24:24,292 --> 00:24:26,209 - What's that? - What? 354 00:24:26,334 --> 00:24:28,626 DVD with a naked girl on the front. 355 00:24:28,751 --> 00:24:31,792 Oh. Cloudy gave me that awhile back. 356 00:24:31,917 --> 00:24:33,542 - You ever watch it? - Nah. 357 00:24:33,667 --> 00:24:35,709 Bullshit. Stick it on. 358 00:24:41,667 --> 00:24:43,917 You've got to be fit to do that. 359 00:24:44,917 --> 00:24:46,542 You had enough? 360 00:24:46,667 --> 00:24:48,209 You wanted to watch it. 361 00:24:48,334 --> 00:24:51,834 Just wanted to have a look. I didn't want to watch the whole thing. 362 00:24:51,959 --> 00:24:53,501 I feel a bit sick now. 363 00:24:59,751 --> 00:25:01,834 Well, what do you want to do? 364 00:25:03,042 --> 00:25:06,334 Do you want to go out for lunch or something? 365 00:25:06,459 --> 00:25:07,959 Lunch? Don't be fucking stupid! 366 00:25:08,084 --> 00:25:11,209 - Why's it stupid? - Go to some bloody poofy cafe 367 00:25:11,334 --> 00:25:14,709 and pay ten bucks for one carrot? There's bloody food in the fridge. 368 00:25:14,834 --> 00:25:16,917 Well, forget it. 369 00:25:17,042 --> 00:25:19,167 Do you want to go for a walk? 370 00:25:19,292 --> 00:25:21,667 What am I, your girlfriend? 371 00:25:23,042 --> 00:25:25,709 You never bring your girlfriends out here. 372 00:25:25,834 --> 00:25:27,834 I would if I had one. 373 00:25:27,959 --> 00:25:30,876 When you going to make me a grandfather? 374 00:25:31,001 --> 00:25:33,501 When I get one of them pregnant. 375 00:25:37,292 --> 00:25:39,542 - Beer? - Beer? 376 00:25:39,667 --> 00:25:41,167 It's 11:30. 377 00:25:41,292 --> 00:25:43,917 Didn't the doctor say you shouldn't be drinking? 378 00:25:44,042 --> 00:25:45,834 Mate, I gave up smoking. 379 00:25:45,959 --> 00:25:48,584 Haven't had a root since your mother died. 380 00:25:48,709 --> 00:25:53,876 Drinking's the only thing I've got left. I'm drinking. Do you want one or not? 381 00:25:54,001 --> 00:25:55,501 Yeah, righto. 382 00:26:04,001 --> 00:26:06,501 Right. Ring her up, say hello, 383 00:26:06,626 --> 00:26:10,959 ask her how she is, try to listen to the answer, if that's possible. 384 00:26:11,084 --> 00:26:14,167 Talk about the weather, not for too long. 385 00:26:14,292 --> 00:26:17,959 Then just ask her out and get the fuck off the phone. 386 00:26:27,542 --> 00:26:29,042 Hi. Maria speaking. 387 00:26:29,167 --> 00:26:33,001 Oh, hi. It's Manny from down the cafe. 388 00:26:33,126 --> 00:26:36,084 Oh, hi, Manny. How are you? 389 00:26:36,209 --> 00:26:37,709 Yeah, I'm good. 390 00:26:37,834 --> 00:26:40,959 How are you? It was warm today, wasn't it? 391 00:26:43,959 --> 00:26:45,459 Yeah, a little bit. 392 00:26:47,667 --> 00:26:52,667 I was just wondering, are you doing anything on Saturday night? 393 00:26:52,792 --> 00:26:55,751 Saturday I'm busy. I'm sorry. 394 00:26:56,751 --> 00:26:59,501 Oh, OK. Well, what about Sunday? 395 00:26:59,626 --> 00:27:02,209 No, Sunday, I'm busy all day and night. 396 00:27:03,459 --> 00:27:04,959 Oh. 397 00:27:06,792 --> 00:27:10,876 OK, well, maybe I'll just see you around some time. 398 00:27:11,001 --> 00:27:13,334 Um, I'm not busy tonight. 399 00:27:14,417 --> 00:27:16,209 If you're free tonight. 400 00:27:16,334 --> 00:27:20,209 Yeah, I am. I forgot about tonight. That would be good. 401 00:27:20,334 --> 00:27:22,126 Great! 402 00:27:22,251 --> 00:27:25,042 Perfect! Alright, I'll see you then. 403 00:27:25,167 --> 00:27:26,667 OK. 404 00:27:29,376 --> 00:27:30,917 Yeah! 405 00:27:31,042 --> 00:27:34,417 This Charming Man 406 00:28:18,876 --> 00:28:20,376 Jesus. 407 00:28:20,501 --> 00:28:23,251 Can you be normal tonight, is that possible? 408 00:28:23,376 --> 00:28:27,251 Just be normal. Don't tell her about your colonic. 409 00:28:27,376 --> 00:28:29,667 You know what, don't even talk about your arse. 410 00:28:29,792 --> 00:28:33,251 Just leave your arse out of the conversation. 411 00:28:33,376 --> 00:28:35,834 When she talks, listen, you know? 412 00:28:35,959 --> 00:28:39,751 Don't glaze over while she's talking, otherwise you look bored. 413 00:28:39,876 --> 00:28:42,834 You might be a bit bored at some point. That's cool. 414 00:28:42,959 --> 00:28:45,459 Just don't let on that you're bored. 415 00:28:45,584 --> 00:28:48,167 Don't act sexy, whatever that is. We can't be sexy. 416 00:28:48,292 --> 00:28:51,376 I'm not sexy. You sexy? Nobody's sexy. 417 00:28:51,501 --> 00:28:54,292 Pay for the meal. That's a good idea, 'cause you asked her out. 418 00:28:54,417 --> 00:28:58,292 That's the law. If you ask them out, you've got to pay. 419 00:28:58,417 --> 00:29:02,626 Don't shovel the food in your mouth like a guts, even though you are a guts. 420 00:29:02,751 --> 00:29:06,792 Just pretend that you're not a guts, for one night. 421 00:29:06,917 --> 00:29:09,251 Can you do that, please? 422 00:29:09,376 --> 00:29:12,042 Just be normal, alright? 423 00:29:12,167 --> 00:29:13,667 Normal. 424 00:29:33,209 --> 00:29:34,917 He always does that. 425 00:29:35,042 --> 00:29:36,667 First time I came here, I got beers. 426 00:29:36,792 --> 00:29:40,126 Now every time I come here, he gives me beer before I have a chance to order. 427 00:29:40,251 --> 00:29:43,167 I kind of like it, even though I don't feel like beer sometimes. 428 00:29:43,292 --> 00:29:45,042 Would you mind if I had wine? 429 00:29:45,167 --> 00:29:47,751 He might get pissed off. He's from Czechoslovakia. 430 00:29:47,876 --> 00:29:50,459 They're all a bit depressed there. 431 00:29:51,501 --> 00:29:53,001 Excuse me? 432 00:29:53,126 --> 00:29:56,001 Could I get a glass of red wine, please? 433 00:29:56,126 --> 00:29:58,209 OK. 434 00:29:58,334 --> 00:30:02,376 It's alright. I'll have hers. I feel like two anyway. 435 00:30:06,959 --> 00:30:09,042 Hey, look, it's a mandorla. 436 00:30:11,584 --> 00:30:14,542 - What's a mandorla? - Mandorla is the almond shape 437 00:30:14,667 --> 00:30:16,709 that the two circles make when they overlap. 438 00:30:16,834 --> 00:30:18,334 That's the mandorla. 439 00:30:18,459 --> 00:30:19,959 Right. 440 00:30:21,042 --> 00:30:23,251 Yo, funny guy! 441 00:30:23,376 --> 00:30:24,876 Mate, great! 442 00:30:26,251 --> 00:30:28,376 - Friend of yours? - Yeah, no. 443 00:30:28,501 --> 00:30:30,501 I know him from work and stuff. 444 00:30:30,626 --> 00:30:32,126 I know. I've seen you perform. 445 00:30:32,251 --> 00:30:35,084 Oh, yeah? Hope you got a few laughs. 446 00:30:35,209 --> 00:30:37,959 - Yeah, I did. - Just a few? 447 00:30:38,084 --> 00:30:40,042 Oh, no. I thought it was really funny. 448 00:30:40,167 --> 00:30:41,876 All of it? 449 00:30:42,001 --> 00:30:43,667 Do you like feedback about your show? 450 00:30:45,167 --> 00:30:48,251 Sort of. I mean, over the years, I've heard it all. 451 00:30:48,376 --> 00:30:50,751 Some people say I'm great, some people say I'm shit. 452 00:30:50,876 --> 00:30:54,751 No, I loved it. Manny, I think you're really funny. 453 00:30:56,042 --> 00:30:57,542 But, um, 454 00:30:57,667 --> 00:31:01,959 if you don't mind me being honest, you looked a bit tired. 455 00:31:05,959 --> 00:31:07,459 I am. 456 00:31:07,584 --> 00:31:10,292 20 years of telling people what I think, what I reckon... 457 00:31:10,417 --> 00:31:14,834 I mean, I like making people laugh, but I'm worn out. 458 00:31:14,959 --> 00:31:17,084 Anyway, what do you do? 459 00:31:19,084 --> 00:31:20,584 Um... 460 00:31:20,709 --> 00:31:22,417 I work in a call centre. 461 00:31:22,542 --> 00:31:25,042 Oh, yeah? What do you call people about? 462 00:31:25,167 --> 00:31:27,126 All sorts of stuff. 463 00:31:27,251 --> 00:31:29,459 Mysterious! What sort of stuff? 464 00:31:29,584 --> 00:31:33,376 Just all sorts of jobs. 465 00:31:33,501 --> 00:31:35,042 It's confidential. 466 00:31:35,167 --> 00:31:40,792 You know you've got a really nice voice? Really feminine and calming. 467 00:31:40,917 --> 00:31:42,417 Thank you. 468 00:31:42,542 --> 00:31:44,842 If I didn't know you and I was talking to you on the phone, 469 00:31:44,967 --> 00:31:47,559 I'd think you were really sexy. 470 00:31:48,084 --> 00:31:49,751 I wouldn't tell you what to do, 471 00:31:49,876 --> 00:31:52,251 but you could make a lot of money, using your voice. 472 00:31:52,376 --> 00:31:54,084 There's something I should tell you. 473 00:31:54,209 --> 00:31:58,917 Radio commercials and GPS and fantasy hotlines. 474 00:31:59,042 --> 00:32:00,542 I'm not saying you do that, but... 475 00:32:00,667 --> 00:32:05,917 Anyway, that's just what I reckon. Sorry. What were you saying? 476 00:32:06,042 --> 00:32:10,042 I... I forget. Thanks for saying all that. 477 00:32:16,667 --> 00:32:19,417 I should go. You've probably got things to do. 478 00:32:19,542 --> 00:32:21,376 Oh, OK. 479 00:32:21,501 --> 00:32:24,626 No... I'm sure you're busy too. 480 00:32:26,251 --> 00:32:27,751 Yeah. Anyway... 481 00:32:27,876 --> 00:32:29,376 OK. 482 00:32:31,334 --> 00:32:34,417 I'm up for another drink if you are. 483 00:32:34,542 --> 00:32:36,042 Sure. 484 00:32:36,167 --> 00:32:37,667 Right. 485 00:32:37,792 --> 00:32:40,667 I know this really nice place around the corner. 486 00:32:40,792 --> 00:32:42,292 Let's go. 487 00:32:42,417 --> 00:32:43,917 Mambo! 488 00:33:08,959 --> 00:33:10,501 - Cheers. - Cheers. 489 00:33:17,501 --> 00:33:19,001 Mm, salt. 490 00:33:26,167 --> 00:33:27,876 - I love salsa. - Yeah? 491 00:33:29,376 --> 00:33:31,292 What do you like about it? 492 00:33:31,417 --> 00:33:34,209 - Look how happy they all are. - Yeah. 493 00:33:34,334 --> 00:33:36,126 - It's pretty sexy. - Yeah. 494 00:33:36,251 --> 00:33:38,084 Can you salsa? 495 00:33:38,209 --> 00:33:41,792 Yeah, probably when I'm pissed, do my own version. 496 00:33:43,626 --> 00:33:45,459 - You want to give it a go? - Really? 497 00:33:45,584 --> 00:33:47,084 - Yeah. - Ah... 498 00:33:47,209 --> 00:33:48,709 - Come on. - Come on! 499 00:33:50,417 --> 00:33:51,917 Hang on. 500 00:33:56,417 --> 00:33:57,917 OK 501 00:36:41,001 --> 00:36:43,292 Hello? 502 00:36:43,417 --> 00:36:44,917 Hi, it's Manny. 503 00:36:45,042 --> 00:36:47,417 You know, the guy from the awkward hug in the street? 504 00:36:47,542 --> 00:36:49,126 Yeah. 505 00:36:49,251 --> 00:36:52,834 I just wanted to say, thanks for tonight. I enjoyed it. 506 00:36:52,959 --> 00:36:55,001 And um, see you soon. 507 00:36:55,126 --> 00:36:57,042 See you soon. 508 00:36:57,167 --> 00:37:00,626 Alright. Oh, by the way, I'm not stalking you. 509 00:37:01,876 --> 00:37:03,709 Alright. See ya. 510 00:37:03,834 --> 00:37:05,334 Bye. 511 00:37:11,917 --> 00:37:15,042 Probably should have waited a couple of days before I called her. 512 00:37:15,167 --> 00:37:18,917 Wait for what, some other bloke to call her? 513 00:37:19,042 --> 00:37:21,626 I don't want to look too desperate. 514 00:37:21,751 --> 00:37:23,292 I am desperate! 515 00:37:23,417 --> 00:37:26,084 I don't go out with anyone. 516 00:37:26,209 --> 00:37:28,459 You can't look too keen. 517 00:37:28,584 --> 00:37:32,167 What do you want to look like, then... a fucking zombie who doesn't give a shit? 518 00:37:32,292 --> 00:37:33,834 That's attractive. 519 00:37:47,667 --> 00:37:49,209 Hello? 520 00:37:49,334 --> 00:37:50,834 Caroline? 521 00:37:51,834 --> 00:37:53,334 Thomas? 522 00:37:54,459 --> 00:37:56,292 I haven't heard from you in awhile. 523 00:37:56,417 --> 00:37:59,251 Believe it or not, I've met a girl. 524 00:38:01,167 --> 00:38:02,751 How's it going? 525 00:38:02,876 --> 00:38:05,042 Mm, good. 526 00:38:05,167 --> 00:38:06,667 Just 'good'? 527 00:38:07,876 --> 00:38:09,709 It's got potential. 528 00:38:09,834 --> 00:38:12,917 But, you know, the normal stuff comes up. 529 00:38:13,042 --> 00:38:16,292 You know... you always find something wrong with them. 530 00:38:16,417 --> 00:38:18,042 Like what? 531 00:38:18,167 --> 00:38:22,667 Nothing serious. Just normal stuff. I mean, it's just boring. 532 00:38:22,792 --> 00:38:24,917 Oh, no. This is interesting. 533 00:38:25,042 --> 00:38:28,292 Well, I feel bad for saying it, but... 534 00:38:28,417 --> 00:38:31,251 she makes this noise with her lips when she's eating. 535 00:38:33,709 --> 00:38:35,209 What noise? 536 00:38:35,334 --> 00:38:37,042 'Mm-num-num-num...' 537 00:38:38,209 --> 00:38:39,959 Drives me nuts. 538 00:38:40,084 --> 00:38:41,584 Yeah. 539 00:38:42,876 --> 00:38:45,709 So what else bothers you about her? 540 00:38:45,834 --> 00:38:47,917 She's a bit straight. 541 00:38:48,042 --> 00:38:49,542 Straight? 542 00:38:49,667 --> 00:38:54,334 Yeah, just a bit old-fashioned. But, you know, I can get around that. 543 00:38:57,376 --> 00:39:01,126 Well, there must be something you like about her. 544 00:39:02,376 --> 00:39:04,584 Do you find her attractive? 545 00:39:04,709 --> 00:39:06,209 Yeah. 546 00:39:06,334 --> 00:39:09,001 Well, what do you mean, 'yeah'? 547 00:39:09,126 --> 00:39:13,709 Well, she's not a glamour, but I don't like glamours anyway. 548 00:39:13,834 --> 00:39:18,292 I like girls that look like they want to make soup and watch DVDs. 549 00:39:18,417 --> 00:39:20,792 I don't know. I always feel this way. 550 00:39:20,917 --> 00:39:25,626 I start going out with someone, I feel like bolting at the same time. 551 00:39:25,751 --> 00:39:27,251 Why? 552 00:39:29,792 --> 00:39:33,001 Getting close to someone and all that stuff. 553 00:39:33,126 --> 00:39:34,626 I just get scared. 554 00:39:37,584 --> 00:39:39,459 But I like her. 555 00:39:39,584 --> 00:39:42,751 She looks to me in the eye when she's talking to me. 556 00:39:42,876 --> 00:39:46,167 I've been having fun with her. She's great. 557 00:39:47,167 --> 00:39:50,709 Dad, can I please go and play with the ducks, please? 558 00:39:50,834 --> 00:39:52,459 Yes, mate. Off you go. 559 00:39:58,792 --> 00:40:02,459 Ever think about leaving your wife and kids and going back to your old life? 560 00:40:04,584 --> 00:40:06,292 Every day. 561 00:40:06,417 --> 00:40:08,667 Why don't you? 562 00:40:08,792 --> 00:40:10,376 'Cause I love my family. 563 00:40:10,501 --> 00:40:12,501 Fair enough. 564 00:40:12,626 --> 00:40:14,126 You should have one, you know. 565 00:40:14,251 --> 00:40:16,084 I reckon you'd love it. 566 00:40:16,209 --> 00:40:19,084 A bit of balance in your life instead of performing all the time. 567 00:40:19,209 --> 00:40:23,126 Yeah, I know. I'm not against it. Just got to get a girlfriend first. 568 00:40:23,251 --> 00:40:25,292 Well, stop fart-arseing around and get one. 569 00:40:25,417 --> 00:40:28,376 Sure. What else am I going to do, sit around and blow-dry my pubes? 570 00:40:32,376 --> 00:40:34,501 Right. So that's a yes, then? 571 00:40:34,626 --> 00:40:36,376 Yeah, alright. 572 00:40:38,126 --> 00:40:40,834 Ethan! Don't piss on the ducks, son. 573 00:41:02,959 --> 00:41:04,459 - Hello. - Hi. 574 00:41:04,584 --> 00:41:06,084 Come in. 575 00:41:08,126 --> 00:41:09,626 Oh! 576 00:41:10,834 --> 00:41:13,167 - Wow! - Yeah. 577 00:41:13,292 --> 00:41:15,834 My God, you have the harbour and the city. 578 00:41:15,959 --> 00:41:19,376 When I'm feeling happy, I look at the harbour 579 00:41:19,501 --> 00:41:22,501 and when I'm feeling depressed, I look at the city. 580 00:41:22,626 --> 00:41:25,417 When I don't feel anything at all, I just stare at the carpet. 581 00:41:25,542 --> 00:41:27,167 Do you want a cup of tea? 582 00:41:27,292 --> 00:41:28,792 That'd be great. 583 00:41:32,834 --> 00:41:35,292 Mm, yum! 584 00:41:35,417 --> 00:41:37,876 Iced VoVos. I love Iced VoVos. 585 00:41:38,001 --> 00:41:40,001 - Do you? - Mm-hm. 586 00:41:40,126 --> 00:41:42,542 - Ever do that thing? - What thing? 587 00:41:42,667 --> 00:41:45,667 You know, where you take the pink stripes off first, then leave... 588 00:41:45,792 --> 00:41:47,334 I'll show you. 589 00:41:47,459 --> 00:41:49,584 - Watching? - I'm watching. 590 00:41:49,709 --> 00:41:51,626 Mm... 591 00:41:58,042 --> 00:41:59,667 What's so good about the red bit? 592 00:41:59,792 --> 00:42:01,626 I don't know. 593 00:42:01,751 --> 00:42:04,709 I've been doing it since I was a kid. It's just fun. 594 00:42:06,959 --> 00:42:08,459 I got a little bit of the rim. 595 00:42:08,584 --> 00:42:12,334 I didn't understand any of that... 'Rr-rr-rr-rp.' 596 00:42:13,334 --> 00:42:16,334 - What are you looking at me for? - You've got coconut... 597 00:42:16,459 --> 00:42:19,626 You're not supposed to make eye contact when you do it. Quite creepy. 598 00:42:19,751 --> 00:42:21,251 Good. 599 00:42:21,376 --> 00:42:23,459 You've got some coconut... 600 00:42:24,542 --> 00:42:26,667 - Yeah. I want it there. - Just leaving it? 601 00:42:26,792 --> 00:42:28,584 - Yeah. - For dinner? 602 00:42:28,709 --> 00:42:30,542 - For Ron. - Who's Ron? 603 00:42:30,667 --> 00:42:32,334 Later on. 604 00:42:32,459 --> 00:42:34,126 Boom! 605 00:42:34,251 --> 00:42:36,876 You don't know that one? That's so old. 606 00:42:41,001 --> 00:42:42,501 Boom! 607 00:42:42,626 --> 00:42:44,126 Champion. 608 00:42:45,417 --> 00:42:46,917 Loser. 609 00:42:49,501 --> 00:42:51,001 Are you watching? 610 00:42:53,959 --> 00:42:55,459 Tada! 611 00:42:58,417 --> 00:42:59,917 What is it? 612 00:43:00,042 --> 00:43:02,209 It's my trick. It's the Opera House. 613 00:43:02,334 --> 00:43:04,459 - Oh, yeah! - That was my trick, growing up. 614 00:43:04,584 --> 00:43:06,501 Oh, right. Where'd you grow up? 615 00:43:06,626 --> 00:43:08,126 - Gympie. - Gympie? 616 00:43:08,251 --> 00:43:09,751 Gympie. 617 00:43:09,876 --> 00:43:13,167 - Parents still out there? - Mum's still there. 618 00:43:13,292 --> 00:43:15,001 Oh, yeah? What about your old man? 619 00:43:15,126 --> 00:43:18,501 My dad, I haven't seen since I was 13. 620 00:43:18,626 --> 00:43:20,126 Oh, right. 621 00:43:28,459 --> 00:43:30,001 ♪ Shy and pretty girl 622 00:43:32,834 --> 00:43:34,334 ♪ All the way 623 00:43:34,459 --> 00:43:35,959 ♪ From Gympie 624 00:43:42,126 --> 00:43:43,667 ♪ She packed her bags 625 00:43:46,542 --> 00:43:48,834 ♪ And headed down to Sydney 626 00:43:53,167 --> 00:43:55,376 ♪ She wanted to be freer 627 00:43:59,084 --> 00:44:01,001 ♪ Mm 628 00:44:01,126 --> 00:44:03,126 ♪ Maria. ♪ 629 00:44:06,501 --> 00:44:09,334 That was very sweet, you wrote a song about me. 630 00:44:09,459 --> 00:44:12,542 Actually, it's about this other girl in Gympie called Maria. 631 00:44:12,667 --> 00:44:14,376 Bad joke, sorry. Yeah. 632 00:44:16,084 --> 00:44:18,084 Um, so... 633 00:44:19,792 --> 00:44:21,876 what do you want to do now? 634 00:44:22,001 --> 00:44:24,667 I brought some soup. I don't know if you like soup. 635 00:44:24,792 --> 00:44:26,751 You made soup? 636 00:44:26,876 --> 00:44:28,376 I love soup. 637 00:44:28,501 --> 00:44:31,251 And I don't know if you feel like watching a movie. 638 00:44:31,376 --> 00:44:34,834 Yeah You brought a movie and soup. Good guess. 639 00:44:34,959 --> 00:44:36,459 Let's watch it. 640 00:44:37,459 --> 00:44:42,417 She's great. We got along really well. It was like a perfect date. 641 00:44:42,542 --> 00:44:45,542 - Great! - Well, not perfect. 642 00:44:45,667 --> 00:44:47,334 There's always something missing. 643 00:44:47,459 --> 00:44:48,959 Like? 644 00:44:50,292 --> 00:44:53,792 She always has her hair up. Kind of looks like a librarian. 645 00:44:53,917 --> 00:44:59,751 She wears loose clothes. I mean, what's she hiding, what's under there? 646 00:44:59,876 --> 00:45:01,751 Who knows? 647 00:45:01,876 --> 00:45:03,376 It's not the only thing. 648 00:45:05,251 --> 00:45:06,751 The thing is... 649 00:45:07,959 --> 00:45:09,501 I think she's beautiful. 650 00:45:11,626 --> 00:45:13,167 She doesn't know it. 651 00:45:16,876 --> 00:45:19,584 That's what I really like about her. 652 00:45:35,792 --> 00:45:37,292 What is it? 653 00:45:39,459 --> 00:45:40,959 You look great. 654 00:45:41,084 --> 00:45:42,834 Really? 655 00:45:42,959 --> 00:45:44,459 Yeah! 656 00:45:44,584 --> 00:45:46,084 OK. Thanks. 657 00:45:47,959 --> 00:45:49,459 Shall we? 658 00:46:06,626 --> 00:46:09,251 Oh, no, this is going to be embarrassing. 659 00:46:09,376 --> 00:46:11,584 Come. Armando! 660 00:46:11,709 --> 00:46:13,501 - Hey! - Hey. 661 00:46:15,667 --> 00:46:16,709 Maria! 662 00:46:20,167 --> 00:46:22,084 How are you? 663 00:46:22,209 --> 00:46:23,709 This is Manny. 664 00:46:23,834 --> 00:46:26,084 - You're very muscly, very brown. - Oh, thank you. 665 00:46:28,667 --> 00:46:31,084 Are you enjoying it? 666 00:46:31,209 --> 00:46:33,251 Yeah. 667 00:46:33,376 --> 00:46:35,584 It's kind of like beans and meat, really. 668 00:46:35,709 --> 00:46:37,626 It's feijoada. 669 00:46:37,751 --> 00:46:39,251 Fezh-what? 670 00:46:39,376 --> 00:46:40,876 Feijoada. 671 00:46:41,001 --> 00:46:44,126 Sounds like you're saying, 'Fish water'. 672 00:46:46,292 --> 00:46:47,834 Aren't they great? 673 00:46:51,209 --> 00:46:52,751 Yeah. No, it's good. 674 00:46:52,876 --> 00:46:54,667 Bit loud, don't you reckon? 675 00:46:54,792 --> 00:46:58,167 They offered me a spot on the boat back to Hio. 676 00:47:00,042 --> 00:47:01,667 Back to where? 677 00:47:01,792 --> 00:47:03,584 Rio de Janeiro. 678 00:47:03,709 --> 00:47:05,209 Oh, I see. 679 00:47:05,334 --> 00:47:06,876 What? 680 00:47:07,001 --> 00:47:08,709 I mean, Rio de Janeiro? 681 00:47:08,834 --> 00:47:11,792 No. In Brazil, we say, 'Hio de Janeiro'. 682 00:47:11,917 --> 00:47:13,584 I'm soh-hy. 683 00:47:13,709 --> 00:47:15,667 I'm Hong. 684 00:47:16,876 --> 00:47:18,834 So... 685 00:47:18,959 --> 00:47:20,917 you going to go? 686 00:47:21,042 --> 00:47:22,584 I'd love to. 687 00:47:24,542 --> 00:47:26,751 I don't know. It's a fantasy. 688 00:47:37,751 --> 00:47:39,751 What, who? 689 00:47:39,876 --> 00:47:42,001 Did you always want to go to Brazil? 690 00:47:42,126 --> 00:47:45,751 Well, they all seem really happy. 691 00:47:45,876 --> 00:47:47,542 They know how to have fun. 692 00:47:47,667 --> 00:47:49,167 Yeah, right. 693 00:47:49,292 --> 00:47:51,209 - Hey, funnyman! - Incoming. 694 00:47:51,334 --> 00:47:53,459 - Can we swap chairs? - Yeah. 695 00:47:55,376 --> 00:47:58,709 If he comes over, we'll pretend we're having an argument, 696 00:47:58,834 --> 00:48:00,667 and he'll leave us alone. 697 00:48:00,792 --> 00:48:02,667 What did you just say?! 698 00:48:02,792 --> 00:48:05,292 - I was just... - How dare you! 699 00:48:05,417 --> 00:48:08,834 I don't have to put up with this. I'm leaving. 700 00:48:19,001 --> 00:48:22,042 Jesus! You don't hold back, do you? 701 00:48:22,167 --> 00:48:23,667 That really hurt! 702 00:48:23,792 --> 00:48:26,959 - Does it really hurt? - Yeah. Ow! 703 00:48:36,542 --> 00:48:39,751 She's thinking about going to Brazil. 704 00:48:39,876 --> 00:48:42,126 And how do you feel about that? 705 00:48:42,251 --> 00:48:45,709 To be honest, there's always part of me that feels relief. 706 00:48:45,834 --> 00:48:47,959 Relieved of what? 707 00:48:48,084 --> 00:48:50,584 The burden of having a girlfriend. 708 00:48:50,709 --> 00:48:53,417 You've got to deal with their shit, 709 00:48:53,542 --> 00:48:56,584 you've got to listen to all the things they have to say about you. 710 00:48:56,709 --> 00:48:59,667 I mean, I don't need help hating myself. 711 00:49:01,417 --> 00:49:04,876 It's exhausting, being a boyfriend. 712 00:49:06,626 --> 00:49:08,126 But you know... 713 00:49:09,334 --> 00:49:11,126 I don't want her to go. 714 00:49:15,376 --> 00:49:16,876 So? 715 00:49:18,167 --> 00:49:20,876 How's it going with the new girlfriend? 716 00:49:21,001 --> 00:49:23,209 It's great. 717 00:49:23,334 --> 00:49:25,292 I just love talking to her. 718 00:49:30,292 --> 00:49:31,792 What? 719 00:49:31,917 --> 00:49:34,876 Your whole face changes when you talk about her. 720 00:49:35,001 --> 00:49:37,001 Yeah, I know. 721 00:49:38,834 --> 00:49:41,417 I've got that sick feeling though. 722 00:49:41,542 --> 00:49:43,042 What do you mean? 723 00:49:45,001 --> 00:49:47,209 You know, when something good is happening? 724 00:49:49,501 --> 00:49:52,209 What? Stop looking at me. 725 00:49:52,334 --> 00:49:54,084 Don't be like that. 726 00:50:00,917 --> 00:50:01,917 Hi. 727 00:50:03,417 --> 00:50:05,459 Do you like kids? 728 00:50:05,584 --> 00:50:07,417 Sort of. 729 00:50:07,542 --> 00:50:09,334 You ever think about having them? 730 00:50:09,459 --> 00:50:13,084 Jesus! Three dates, we're having the kid conversation. 731 00:50:13,209 --> 00:50:14,959 No, I'm just curious. 732 00:50:15,084 --> 00:50:18,584 I'm not against them, I mean, if the right person comes along. 733 00:50:18,709 --> 00:50:20,376 I don't really think about that much. 734 00:50:20,501 --> 00:50:24,042 Except their parents with their fucking eyeballs bulging out of their heads, 735 00:50:24,167 --> 00:50:26,626 going, 'I haven't slept in two years!' 736 00:50:26,751 --> 00:50:28,417 - It's him! - Uh-oh. 737 00:50:28,542 --> 00:50:30,959 - What? - Incoming. 738 00:50:31,084 --> 00:50:33,667 - What do you want me to do? - Dunno. 739 00:50:49,709 --> 00:50:52,251 Was that a real kiss or a fake kiss? 740 00:50:54,792 --> 00:50:56,292 This is a fake one. 741 00:50:59,959 --> 00:51:02,001 And this is a real one. 742 00:51:08,876 --> 00:51:10,667 What did that feel like? 743 00:51:11,709 --> 00:51:13,209 A real one. 744 00:51:13,334 --> 00:51:15,876 I wish those guys would come back. 745 00:51:18,001 --> 00:51:19,501 Let's go for a swim. 746 00:51:19,626 --> 00:51:21,542 - Serious? - Yeah, let's do it. 747 00:51:21,667 --> 00:51:24,251 - No way! - Come on, it'll be great. 748 00:51:24,376 --> 00:51:26,167 - We'll get wet! - Yeah! 749 00:51:26,292 --> 00:51:28,584 - You go in. - You don't think I will? 750 00:51:28,709 --> 00:51:30,584 Go on, then. 751 00:51:34,917 --> 00:51:36,417 What about now? 752 00:51:36,542 --> 00:51:38,584 - I'm still not going in. - Come on! 753 00:51:38,709 --> 00:51:40,459 - I don't want to. - Stop thinking! 754 00:51:40,584 --> 00:51:42,709 Come on, it'll be fun. Don't be such a killjoy. 755 00:51:42,834 --> 00:51:44,542 I said, I don't want to! 756 00:51:51,542 --> 00:51:53,167 Anyway. 757 00:52:05,876 --> 00:52:07,417 Sorry for snapping. 758 00:52:07,542 --> 00:52:09,334 I just don't like water. 759 00:52:10,584 --> 00:52:12,084 Why don't you like water? 760 00:52:12,209 --> 00:52:13,709 I just don't. 761 00:52:17,959 --> 00:52:19,917 Can we just go home? So... 762 00:52:22,001 --> 00:52:23,834 I'm OK. I'm just going to get a cab. 763 00:52:23,959 --> 00:52:25,001 Yeah. 764 00:52:27,501 --> 00:52:29,001 Bye. 765 00:52:49,167 --> 00:52:53,376 People who have one-night stands, some people have judgement about... 766 00:52:53,501 --> 00:52:57,792 'That's disgusting, sleeping with someone you don't know.' 767 00:52:57,917 --> 00:52:59,709 Don't you think it's just as disgusting 768 00:52:59,834 --> 00:53:02,126 to sleep with the same person for 40 years? 769 00:53:02,251 --> 00:53:04,667 'Good morning. You again.' 770 00:53:04,792 --> 00:53:09,709 Performing live in a one-off special, 8pm Sunday night on Seven. 771 00:53:16,292 --> 00:53:18,126 Hello? 772 00:53:18,251 --> 00:53:19,876 Caroline? 773 00:53:20,001 --> 00:53:21,501 Thomas? 774 00:53:22,709 --> 00:53:24,209 How are you? 775 00:53:24,334 --> 00:53:26,292 I've felt better. 776 00:53:27,667 --> 00:53:29,167 Why, what's up? 777 00:53:32,417 --> 00:53:33,959 Do you really want to know this? 778 00:53:34,084 --> 00:53:36,834 Yeah. What happened? 779 00:53:36,959 --> 00:53:41,751 This girl I've been seeing, we had a bit of a weird fight tonight. 780 00:53:41,876 --> 00:53:45,459 Basically, I didn't want to do something, she kept pushing me, 781 00:53:45,584 --> 00:53:47,084 and I snapped. 782 00:53:48,542 --> 00:53:50,417 What do you mean, pushing you? 783 00:53:52,251 --> 00:53:55,501 I said I didn't want to swim in the harbour. 784 00:53:56,834 --> 00:54:00,209 And she just kept going, and... 785 00:54:01,209 --> 00:54:03,542 trying to make me do it, and I didn't want to. 786 00:54:03,667 --> 00:54:07,334 Maybe she was trying to be romantic. 787 00:54:07,459 --> 00:54:11,001 Yeah, that's what she said, but I don't like to be pushed. 788 00:54:11,126 --> 00:54:13,542 I've just always had this thing. 789 00:54:14,959 --> 00:54:17,459 I just hate getting wet. 790 00:54:17,584 --> 00:54:19,084 Why? 791 00:54:21,084 --> 00:54:22,584 Well... 792 00:54:22,709 --> 00:54:26,167 when I was a kid, I remember having a bath... 793 00:54:27,667 --> 00:54:31,792 my old man coming in, furious about something 794 00:54:31,917 --> 00:54:34,334 and holding my head underwater. 795 00:54:34,459 --> 00:54:37,251 I mean, I don't know what I done wrong. 796 00:54:38,501 --> 00:54:40,251 It's kind of funny though. 797 00:54:40,376 --> 00:54:43,876 Crying and blowing a bubble at the same time. 798 00:54:44,001 --> 00:54:45,751 That's terrible, Manny. 799 00:54:45,876 --> 00:54:47,584 Yeah, I know. It was terrible, but... 800 00:54:50,501 --> 00:54:53,459 Sorry, what did you... 801 00:54:53,584 --> 00:54:55,501 What did you just call me? 802 00:54:58,251 --> 00:54:59,751 Hello? 803 00:55:16,376 --> 00:55:18,167 Did she call me 'Manny'? 804 00:55:20,251 --> 00:55:21,792 Did I say I was Manny? 805 00:55:27,542 --> 00:55:29,042 How would she know? 806 00:56:10,751 --> 00:56:12,251 Hello? 807 00:56:15,209 --> 00:56:17,501 Caroline? It's Thomas. 808 00:56:20,542 --> 00:56:22,417 Is everything OK? 809 00:56:23,876 --> 00:56:28,334 Well, I just found out something really weird about the girl I've been seeing. 810 00:56:28,459 --> 00:56:29,959 Mm. What's that? 811 00:56:31,376 --> 00:56:33,626 I don't think she's being honest with me. 812 00:56:33,751 --> 00:56:37,167 I just feel like she's not who she says she is. 813 00:56:39,042 --> 00:56:42,792 I guess we're all a bit like that sometimes, aren't we, Thomas? 814 00:56:42,917 --> 00:56:45,084 No. I'm honest. 815 00:56:46,084 --> 00:56:47,834 I'm sure you are. 816 00:56:47,959 --> 00:56:50,917 Maybe she has reasons for doing what she does. 817 00:56:51,042 --> 00:56:54,167 Yeah? What reasons? 818 00:57:17,376 --> 00:57:20,334 Yeah, so, meet the woman of your dreams? 819 00:57:20,459 --> 00:57:23,167 I don't want to meet the woman of my dreams. 820 00:57:23,292 --> 00:57:25,084 I have nightmares. 821 00:57:25,209 --> 00:57:27,167 She's going to have three heads and a tail, 822 00:57:27,292 --> 00:57:30,417 vomit coming out her eyeballs... 'Aaargh!' 823 00:57:30,542 --> 00:57:33,334 Actually, there's an easy way to break up with someone. 824 00:57:33,459 --> 00:57:38,751 Next time you're making love to them, just whisper in their ear, 'Mummy. 825 00:57:38,876 --> 00:57:41,376 You remind me of my mother.' 826 00:57:43,542 --> 00:57:45,209 That'll do the job. 827 00:57:45,334 --> 00:57:49,042 If she stays after that, then you're in trouble. 828 00:58:11,584 --> 00:58:14,167 When I was a kid, I was having a bath. 829 00:58:15,167 --> 00:58:19,459 I must have done something wrong, 'cause Dad came in all pissed off 830 00:58:19,584 --> 00:58:21,834 and held my head underwater. 831 00:58:21,959 --> 00:58:26,084 I don't know if he was punishing me or teaching me to swim. 832 00:58:36,376 --> 00:58:38,834 Before he used to belt me, he used to say, 'Hey, son!' 833 00:58:40,626 --> 00:58:42,126 I'd say, 'Yeah?' 834 00:58:44,376 --> 00:58:46,917 'This is going to hurt me more than it hurts you.' 835 00:58:47,042 --> 00:58:49,292 I used to think, 'Yeah? 836 00:58:49,417 --> 00:58:52,084 Not unless you miss and hit the chair.' 837 00:58:59,626 --> 00:59:03,501 Before he used to hit me, he used to test my eyesight. 838 00:59:03,626 --> 00:59:05,251 'See that, son?' 839 00:59:06,542 --> 00:59:08,376 'Yeah, I see it.' 840 00:59:08,501 --> 00:59:10,334 Ah, fuck! 841 00:59:26,917 --> 00:59:29,292 Hi, Manny. It's me. 842 00:59:29,417 --> 00:59:32,001 Would you please call me? I just... 843 00:59:33,334 --> 00:59:34,959 I just want to talk. 844 00:59:38,667 --> 00:59:43,917 ♪ I'm like a cripple that's got an itch to scratch 845 00:59:44,042 --> 00:59:48,042 ♪ On a limb that's not there anymore 846 00:59:48,167 --> 00:59:52,334 ♪ There's still mud on our brand-new sheets 847 00:59:52,459 --> 00:59:54,876 ♪ I stepped into a puddle 848 00:59:55,001 --> 00:59:58,959 ♪ When I saw someone that looked just like you 849 00:59:59,084 --> 01:00:02,751 ♪ I leave the radio on all night 850 01:00:02,876 --> 01:00:08,584 ♪ Sooner or later it puts me to sleep 851 01:00:08,709 --> 01:00:16,834 ♪ So bring yourself home to me 852 01:00:18,292 --> 01:00:22,626 ♪ Bring yourself home... ♪ 853 01:00:22,751 --> 01:00:25,001 Hey, say something funny to my cousin. 854 01:00:25,126 --> 01:00:26,626 Fuck off. 855 01:00:26,751 --> 01:00:32,001 ♪ Bring yourself home to me 856 01:00:37,751 --> 01:00:42,709 ♪ I can't remember what I said, can't remember what I did 857 01:00:42,834 --> 01:00:47,792 ♪ The dishes were still in the sink, all my clothes were on the bed 858 01:00:47,917 --> 01:00:52,417 ♪ You slammed the door and the rain turned to pins 859 01:00:52,542 --> 01:00:57,751 ♪ It gets dark early now, and the lights aren't on when I come in 860 01:00:57,876 --> 01:01:02,251 ♪ I leave the radio on all night 861 01:01:02,376 --> 01:01:07,667 ♪ Sooner or later it puts me to sleep 862 01:01:07,792 --> 01:01:14,167 ♪ So bring yourself home to me. ♪ 863 01:01:14,292 --> 01:01:17,792 You're not listening to me, dog, but I don't care. 864 01:01:17,917 --> 01:01:20,126 You come when I tell you or I'll smash you. 865 01:01:22,001 --> 01:01:24,334 You can look away all you like, dog. 866 01:01:24,459 --> 01:01:27,001 I had to go all over the place looking for you, like a dog. 867 01:01:27,126 --> 01:01:30,084 I'll give you a good belting! 868 01:01:32,042 --> 01:01:33,542 Hey! 869 01:01:37,501 --> 01:01:39,667 What are you doing? 870 01:01:39,792 --> 01:01:41,459 What? 871 01:01:41,584 --> 01:01:44,042 What do you have a dog for, if you treat it like shit? 872 01:01:44,167 --> 01:01:46,876 It licks my feet, Manny, not yours. 873 01:01:47,001 --> 01:01:50,292 - Don't beat the dog up, you cockhead. - Wanker! 874 01:01:50,417 --> 01:01:53,292 Doesn't matter. Don't beat your dog up. What's wrong with you? 875 01:01:53,417 --> 01:01:56,959 - Just stick to your jokes, Manny. - Don't push me, you dickhead. 876 01:01:57,084 --> 01:01:59,126 What? 877 01:01:59,251 --> 01:02:01,542 Why don't you try me? 878 01:02:03,167 --> 01:02:05,959 It's my dog! Get your fucking own dog. 879 01:02:08,251 --> 01:02:11,042 Why don't you feed the fucking thing? 880 01:02:14,584 --> 01:02:16,459 Oi! 881 01:02:16,584 --> 01:02:18,417 Coppers! 882 01:02:18,542 --> 01:02:21,334 - The cop shop's right there. - Yeah, well... 883 01:02:21,459 --> 01:02:23,501 - What's going on? - He punched me in the face. 884 01:02:23,626 --> 01:02:24,876 No, I didn't. 885 01:02:26,501 --> 01:02:28,001 Let's go. 886 01:02:52,792 --> 01:02:54,292 So... 887 01:02:55,376 --> 01:02:57,751 what was going on last night? 888 01:02:57,876 --> 01:03:01,001 It's all over the internet, mate. It's in the papers. 889 01:03:01,126 --> 01:03:03,167 So what? 890 01:03:03,292 --> 01:03:04,792 People get pissed. 891 01:03:09,667 --> 01:03:13,417 You know they've all got those camera phones now. 892 01:03:13,542 --> 01:03:15,334 - Everyone's seen it. - Who cares? 893 01:03:15,459 --> 01:03:16,959 Manny, I care. 894 01:03:18,417 --> 01:03:21,834 And the Americans that I just picked up from the airport, they care. 895 01:03:21,959 --> 01:03:26,876 And the network that's forking out a shitload of money for your show care. 896 01:03:27,001 --> 01:03:30,417 As long as I do a funny show, what's the problem? 897 01:03:30,542 --> 01:03:32,709 OK, I'll tell you the problem. 898 01:03:32,834 --> 01:03:35,959 It's not just about the show, Manny. 899 01:03:36,084 --> 01:03:38,001 I've been on the phone to them for an hour 900 01:03:38,126 --> 01:03:41,626 trying to convince them that you're not a total disaster. 901 01:03:41,751 --> 01:03:44,542 I'm sorry you have to work for your money. 902 01:03:44,667 --> 01:03:49,292 What do you want for 20%? To shake people's hands, 903 01:03:49,417 --> 01:03:53,626 take your family out for a good time on the weekend, huh? 904 01:03:54,834 --> 01:03:58,459 Alright, mate, you're a bit out of control. 905 01:03:58,584 --> 01:04:03,376 All I'm saying is, just try not to ruin everything while they're here. 906 01:04:03,501 --> 01:04:05,209 Just stay off the piss. 907 01:04:08,709 --> 01:04:10,334 That's rich, coming from you. 908 01:04:11,542 --> 01:04:14,584 At least I'm not drunk in front of my kid. 909 01:04:19,209 --> 01:04:21,501 I think I might just walk home. 910 01:04:21,626 --> 01:04:23,126 Yeah, good idea. 911 01:05:04,709 --> 01:05:06,459 Hello? 912 01:05:06,584 --> 01:05:08,084 How are you? 913 01:05:09,709 --> 01:05:11,209 Are you home? 914 01:05:12,584 --> 01:05:14,376 Can I come over for a bit? 915 01:05:16,001 --> 01:05:17,501 Righto. 916 01:05:17,626 --> 01:05:19,126 See ya. 917 01:05:39,251 --> 01:05:41,459 What happened to your hand? 918 01:05:45,459 --> 01:05:46,959 I punched a mirror. 919 01:05:49,042 --> 01:05:51,459 Why'd you punch a mirror for? 920 01:05:51,584 --> 01:05:53,084 Pissed off. 921 01:05:55,459 --> 01:05:56,959 What with? 922 01:05:58,959 --> 01:06:01,917 What did you think of me when I was a kid? 923 01:06:03,209 --> 01:06:05,126 Well, you were a good kid. 924 01:06:06,834 --> 01:06:09,334 You were a funny little bastard. 925 01:06:09,459 --> 01:06:12,584 You used to make me and your mother laugh. 926 01:06:17,001 --> 01:06:19,376 Why do you want to know that for? 927 01:06:20,792 --> 01:06:23,751 You know I was terrified of you as a kid? 928 01:06:23,876 --> 01:06:25,376 Were you? 929 01:06:26,417 --> 01:06:27,917 Why? 930 01:06:29,792 --> 01:06:31,292 You used to hit me. 931 01:06:36,792 --> 01:06:39,751 I ain't been thinking about that lately. 932 01:06:45,042 --> 01:06:46,542 Life's been shit. 933 01:06:47,876 --> 01:06:52,334 I've been thinking about when I was young, for some reason. 934 01:07:03,876 --> 01:07:06,917 Well, I apologise for hitting you, mate. 935 01:07:46,209 --> 01:07:47,251 Alright... 936 01:07:50,876 --> 01:07:52,376 Bye. 937 01:07:56,376 --> 01:07:57,876 Bye, friend. 938 01:08:08,167 --> 01:08:10,126 Where's your girlfriend? 939 01:08:12,417 --> 01:08:14,209 Too hard, Pieter. 940 01:08:14,334 --> 01:08:16,376 What too hard... girl? 941 01:08:16,501 --> 01:08:18,001 Yeah. 942 01:08:23,042 --> 01:08:24,542 Hey, Pieter? 943 01:08:24,667 --> 01:08:26,167 Yeah? 944 01:08:26,292 --> 01:08:28,917 Why do you always give me a beer when I don't even order one? 945 01:08:29,042 --> 01:08:31,209 I know you. I know your brain. 946 01:08:31,334 --> 01:08:34,334 You think, think, think, never decide. 947 01:08:34,459 --> 01:08:36,417 I give you beer, you drink. 948 01:08:36,542 --> 01:08:39,501 Have beer, have woman. 949 01:08:39,626 --> 01:08:41,501 Don't think. 950 01:09:07,334 --> 01:09:11,251 The number you have dialled has been disconnected. 951 01:09:23,501 --> 01:09:25,292 Hello, Fantasy Hotline. 952 01:09:25,417 --> 01:09:31,001 Ah, hi. I was hoping to speak to Caroline, PIN 713? 953 01:09:31,126 --> 01:09:34,167 PIN 713 is no longer with us, I'm afraid, 954 01:09:34,292 --> 01:09:36,501 but I can put you through to another lovely lady. 955 01:09:36,626 --> 01:09:40,084 Oh. Well, where'd she go? 956 01:09:40,209 --> 01:09:42,376 I'm sorry, I can't say. But I can put you through 957 01:09:42,501 --> 01:09:46,042 to another one of our gorgeous girls, if you'd like to chat with one of them. 958 01:09:46,167 --> 01:09:47,876 No, that's OK. Thanks. 959 01:10:03,001 --> 01:10:04,501 Maria! 960 01:10:06,334 --> 01:10:07,834 Maria! 961 01:10:09,917 --> 01:10:11,751 Manny? 962 01:10:11,876 --> 01:10:14,167 She's gone, Manny. 963 01:10:15,376 --> 01:10:17,501 Do you know where she's going? 964 01:10:17,626 --> 01:10:21,417 Man, she's going on the boat to South America. 965 01:10:21,542 --> 01:10:23,042 South America? 966 01:10:24,292 --> 01:10:26,292 You didn't know? 967 01:10:26,417 --> 01:10:28,251 No. 968 01:10:28,376 --> 01:10:30,501 They sail tonight. 969 01:10:30,626 --> 01:10:32,626 I'm sorry. 970 01:10:33,917 --> 01:10:37,292 Oh, Manny, she wanted me to give you something. 971 01:10:43,709 --> 01:10:46,167 Thanks, mate. 972 01:10:46,292 --> 01:10:49,834 Hey, Manny... good luck for the show tonight. 973 01:10:49,959 --> 01:10:51,667 Thanks, mate. Cheers. 974 01:11:33,167 --> 01:11:36,876 Ladies and gentlemen, please make your way into the theatre. 975 01:11:37,001 --> 01:11:40,042 Manny Lewis Live will commence shortly. 976 01:11:53,209 --> 01:11:55,626 G'day, mate. 977 01:11:55,751 --> 01:11:59,417 Ah, Joel, this is Manny. Manny, this is Joel. 978 01:11:59,542 --> 01:12:03,167 - How are you going, Joel? - I hear you're a funny guy. 979 01:12:03,292 --> 01:12:05,626 That's a great crowd you've got out there. 980 01:12:05,751 --> 01:12:07,251 Yeah, they're alright. 981 01:12:08,626 --> 01:12:11,042 - Congratulations. - Well... 982 01:12:11,167 --> 01:12:14,334 if it wasn't for this bloke, I wouldn't have anything. 983 01:12:14,459 --> 01:12:18,251 I'd still be working on a building site. So... 984 01:12:18,376 --> 01:12:19,876 thanks, mate. 985 01:12:24,751 --> 01:12:27,459 Well, as they say in the business... 986 01:12:29,209 --> 01:12:32,167 chookers. We'll talk later. 987 01:12:32,292 --> 01:12:34,751 OK! Nice to meet you. 988 01:12:34,876 --> 01:12:36,917 - Got everything? - Yeah, mate, I'm alright. 989 01:12:37,042 --> 01:12:38,542 - OK. - Hey, ah... 990 01:12:40,126 --> 01:12:41,751 is the old man in? 991 01:12:41,876 --> 01:12:43,501 No. Sorry, mate. 992 01:12:53,584 --> 01:12:56,042 Two minutes, Mr Lewis. 993 01:12:56,167 --> 01:12:57,667 Yeah, righto. 994 01:13:01,209 --> 01:13:03,751 Right. Let's go be funny. 995 01:13:15,001 --> 01:13:16,834 Live across Australia, 996 01:13:16,959 --> 01:13:19,917 please welcome our very own funnyman, Manny Lewis. 997 01:13:32,251 --> 01:13:33,751 So, where were we? 998 01:13:35,501 --> 01:13:37,167 Nice to be here. I was just over there, 999 01:13:37,292 --> 01:13:40,001 and it wasn't very nice over there. It's better over here. 1000 01:13:40,126 --> 01:13:42,459 I hope you laugh tonight. 1001 01:13:42,584 --> 01:13:44,084 I hope you laugh a lot. 1002 01:13:44,209 --> 01:13:47,126 Actually, I hope a little bit of wee comes out. 1003 01:13:47,251 --> 01:13:48,959 That's a good night. 1004 01:13:49,084 --> 01:13:55,042 You go home... 'How was the show?' 'Look at my pants! Great show.' 1005 01:13:55,167 --> 01:13:58,334 I love performing. I've always performed, ever since I was a kid. 1006 01:13:58,459 --> 01:14:02,751 I had no choice. My parents used to get drunk and dress me up. 1007 01:14:02,876 --> 01:14:05,542 We used to have these African nights. 1008 01:14:05,667 --> 01:14:07,584 Mum would take all my clothes off, 1009 01:14:07,709 --> 01:14:11,292 get a lettuce leaf and a bit of string and wrap it around here. 1010 01:14:11,417 --> 01:14:14,126 'Do the dance.' 'Righto.' 1011 01:14:16,292 --> 01:14:18,376 But I don't like watching performers. 1012 01:14:18,501 --> 01:14:21,292 I went and saw a country singer the other day, and they shit me. 1013 01:14:21,417 --> 01:14:23,042 Before every song, he'd say, 1014 01:14:23,167 --> 01:14:27,042 'It's a beautiful song, and it goes a little something like this.' 1015 01:14:27,167 --> 01:14:31,542 I feel like saying, 'Mate, just play it exactly the way it goes. 1016 01:14:31,667 --> 01:14:34,834 How long have you been playing that song, and you haven't nailed it? 1017 01:14:34,959 --> 01:14:38,834 You should say, "It's a beautiful song, and it goes exactly like this."' 1018 01:14:42,376 --> 01:14:47,584 I don't know what 'wrong' is. It's a funny thing, wrong. 1019 01:14:47,709 --> 01:14:50,251 What's wrong? 1020 01:14:50,376 --> 01:14:53,834 Washing your tea towels with your underwear? 1021 01:14:56,834 --> 01:15:00,417 I mean, it all gets in the mix. The soap powder washes it out, 1022 01:15:00,542 --> 01:15:03,209 but it just feels like I'm drying the dishes with my bum. 1023 01:15:06,834 --> 01:15:08,709 Yeah, but anyway. 1024 01:15:08,834 --> 01:15:10,459 My dad was very precise, you know? 1025 01:15:10,584 --> 01:15:15,251 He said, 'Listen, son, don't use this in life, use this,' 1026 01:15:15,376 --> 01:15:18,209 which I took to mean, don't hit people, headbutt them. 1027 01:15:25,584 --> 01:15:28,126 When I was a kid, walking into the lounge... 1028 01:15:28,251 --> 01:15:32,084 - You alright there? - Yeah. Go ahead, I'll catch up. 1029 01:15:32,209 --> 01:15:34,334 I was eight. 1030 01:15:37,334 --> 01:15:41,084 When I was a kid, I was having a bath once. 1031 01:15:45,751 --> 01:15:48,459 I must have done something wrong... 1032 01:15:50,209 --> 01:15:51,709 'cause Dad... 1033 01:15:54,376 --> 01:15:55,876 Dad came in... 1034 01:16:08,542 --> 01:16:11,126 Come on, son. Spit it out! 1035 01:16:21,209 --> 01:16:23,876 People always ask me about the stuff I do about Dad. 1036 01:16:24,001 --> 01:16:27,417 They say, 'Your father sounds like a hard man.' 1037 01:16:27,542 --> 01:16:30,626 He's probably not as hard as I make out he is. 1038 01:16:30,751 --> 01:16:32,251 I do love him. 1039 01:16:33,626 --> 01:16:36,501 I probably should leave him alone for awhile. 1040 01:16:37,667 --> 01:16:39,167 How am I doing, Dad? 1041 01:16:42,001 --> 01:16:43,501 Proud of you, son. 1042 01:16:49,167 --> 01:16:51,167 I'm proud of him. 1043 01:16:51,292 --> 01:16:54,542 Except for the time that he shit his pants. 1044 01:16:55,751 --> 01:16:57,292 He's making that up. 1045 01:16:59,834 --> 01:17:02,626 I threatened to tell Mum for years... 1046 01:17:05,542 --> 01:17:07,667 but she was doing the same. 1047 01:17:09,792 --> 01:17:13,751 I'd like to sing a song now, dedicated to a girl. 1048 01:17:13,876 --> 01:17:15,917 It goes exactly like this. 1049 01:17:21,459 --> 01:17:23,001 ♪ Met her downstairs 1050 01:17:26,001 --> 01:17:28,792 ♪ In the cafe underneath her flat 1051 01:17:37,042 --> 01:17:38,751 ♪ She was reading a book 1052 01:17:40,584 --> 01:17:43,917 ♪ About some old guy about to top himself 1053 01:17:49,001 --> 01:17:50,959 ♪ She looked kind of lonely 1054 01:17:54,792 --> 01:17:56,751 ♪ She looked kind of sad 1055 01:18:01,667 --> 01:18:03,376 ♪ The reason that I knew 1056 01:18:07,334 --> 01:18:10,084 ♪ These were feelings that I had 1057 01:18:18,876 --> 01:18:20,376 ♪ To make her happy 1058 01:18:23,251 --> 01:18:25,667 ♪ Is all I wanted to do 1059 01:18:32,917 --> 01:18:35,167 ♪ We went out dancing 1060 01:18:35,292 --> 01:18:37,334 ♪ Our steps went from 1 1061 01:18:38,584 --> 01:18:40,084 ♪ To 2 1062 01:18:44,084 --> 01:18:45,792 ♪ The closer that we got 1063 01:18:50,292 --> 01:18:52,084 ♪ The more that we forgot 1064 01:18:56,584 --> 01:18:58,376 ♪ About all the bad 1065 01:19:02,292 --> 01:19:05,042 ♪ Feelings that we had 1066 01:19:09,001 --> 01:19:10,626 ♪ I met her downstairs 1067 01:19:12,709 --> 01:19:14,209 ♪ In a cafe 1068 01:19:15,376 --> 01:19:17,001 ♪ Underneath her flat. ♪ 1069 01:19:33,542 --> 01:19:35,042 Thank you. 1070 01:19:45,459 --> 01:19:50,084 Here's to a fantastic performance and a brilliant career. 1071 01:19:50,209 --> 01:19:54,251 I'm going to make your son a star in America. 1072 01:19:54,376 --> 01:19:56,042 He's already a star. 1073 01:19:56,167 --> 01:19:58,584 - He certainly is, sir. - I know. 1074 01:19:58,709 --> 01:20:00,751 OK. 1075 01:20:03,084 --> 01:20:04,584 Sa'ude! 1076 01:20:06,751 --> 01:20:08,251 Brazil! 1077 01:20:08,376 --> 01:20:10,417 Brazil, Maria! 1078 01:20:10,542 --> 01:20:14,709 We're all very happy. It's going to be a great adventure. 1079 01:20:14,834 --> 01:20:18,001 This is for you to sign. 1080 01:20:18,126 --> 01:20:19,626 Thanks, mate. 1081 01:20:27,584 --> 01:20:32,042 It's, ah, it's everything we agreed upon, mate. It's fine. 1082 01:20:38,917 --> 01:20:40,417 You cool? 1083 01:20:41,709 --> 01:20:43,417 Yeah. 1084 01:20:48,459 --> 01:20:50,542 Just give me a minute, mate. 1085 01:20:53,876 --> 01:20:55,876 I'll just go have a word. 1086 01:20:56,001 --> 01:20:57,501 Let me, Jimmy. 1087 01:21:00,542 --> 01:21:02,042 We got a problem? 1088 01:21:03,042 --> 01:21:05,917 No, Joel. I think it's just a bit of cold feet. 1089 01:21:06,042 --> 01:21:07,542 Maria! 1090 01:21:36,709 --> 01:21:38,417 I don't feel good, Dad. 1091 01:21:41,459 --> 01:21:42,959 Listen, son... 1092 01:21:44,792 --> 01:21:47,376 I never did much right in my life. 1093 01:21:48,792 --> 01:21:51,542 Could have been a better father... 1094 01:21:51,667 --> 01:21:53,167 better husband. 1095 01:21:53,292 --> 01:21:55,709 But one thing I can be proud of... 1096 01:21:57,792 --> 01:22:00,834 the day I told your mother I loved her. 1097 01:22:02,001 --> 01:22:03,876 I was scared! 1098 01:22:04,001 --> 01:22:06,084 I thought she'd laugh at me. 1099 01:22:07,584 --> 01:22:09,959 It was the best thing I ever did. 1100 01:22:10,084 --> 01:22:12,626 It gave me everything I have. 1101 01:22:14,876 --> 01:22:16,417 All I'm saying is... 1102 01:22:18,751 --> 01:22:20,542 don't be afraid, son. 1103 01:22:21,917 --> 01:22:23,417 Don't be afraid. 1104 01:22:27,417 --> 01:22:28,917 Thanks, Dad. 1105 01:22:56,709 --> 01:22:59,084 Is everything alright, Jimmy? 1106 01:22:59,209 --> 01:23:01,667 Oh, everything's fine, Joel. 1107 01:23:01,792 --> 01:23:03,417 Let me buy you a drink. 1108 01:23:12,501 --> 01:23:15,209 Cruising Yacht Club, thanks, mate. 1109 01:23:54,376 --> 01:23:55,876 Maria! 1110 01:23:57,292 --> 01:23:58,792 Maria! 1111 01:24:00,126 --> 01:24:01,626 Maria! 1112 01:24:08,917 --> 01:24:10,417 I love you. 1113 01:24:12,042 --> 01:24:13,542 I love you! 1114 01:26:14,001 --> 01:26:17,001 Captions by CSI Australia