1
00:00:25,501 --> 00:00:28,459
Do you ever pretend you're dead
at home, just practise?
2
00:00:33,917 --> 00:00:37,042
Do you ever pretend you're dead
in the bath...
3
00:00:37,167 --> 00:00:40,001
just hold your nose and float around
like a bloated corpse?
4
00:00:45,376 --> 00:00:49,209
Have you ever contemplated suicide
5
00:00:49,334 --> 00:00:51,792
just because you're
in a convenient spot to do it?
6
00:00:54,501 --> 00:00:57,084
You're not particularly unhappy...
7
00:00:57,209 --> 00:01:00,959
'Yeah, that'd work,
if I was going to do it.'
8
00:01:01,084 --> 00:01:03,917
Like, I was bushwalking the other day
with some friends.
9
00:01:04,042 --> 00:01:07,209
It was a beautiful day.
We were all connecting and chatting.
10
00:01:07,334 --> 00:01:09,667
We went on this big ridge,
we looked at the horizon.
11
00:01:09,792 --> 00:01:13,417
There's a huge drop. I looked over,
and the voice in my head went, 'Jump.'
12
00:01:15,376 --> 00:01:17,834
'What?' 'You heard me.'
13
00:01:17,959 --> 00:01:19,667
'Why?' 'You know why.'
14
00:01:21,542 --> 00:01:24,126
I was making some toast
the other morning.
15
00:01:24,251 --> 00:01:29,667
Had the knife in my hand, looking at
the toaster, waiting for it to come up.
16
00:01:29,792 --> 00:01:32,584
The voice said, 'Stick it in.'
17
00:01:32,709 --> 00:01:34,417
'Why?' 'You know why.'
18
00:01:38,001 --> 00:01:39,376
I blame my father.
19
00:01:39,501 --> 00:01:42,626
People always say to me, 'Where do you
get your sense of humour from?'
20
00:01:42,751 --> 00:01:44,251
I say, 'My old man,'
21
00:01:44,376 --> 00:01:47,876
'cause I figured out early on that there
was something really wrong with him.
22
00:01:58,334 --> 00:02:02,042
She goes,
'You're better looking in real life.'
23
00:02:02,167 --> 00:02:04,126
Sounds like a compliment.
24
00:02:07,376 --> 00:02:11,334
What it means is,
'Because on TV, you look like shit.'
25
00:02:11,459 --> 00:02:15,834
You know, my whole life,
I've tried to improve myself,
26
00:02:15,959 --> 00:02:19,334
ever since I was a young kid. I used to
read a lot, try and make myself better.
27
00:02:19,459 --> 00:02:25,042
You know what I've realised now that
I'm older? You can't. It's hopeless.
28
00:02:25,167 --> 00:02:28,751
You'll never be anything different than
what you are.
29
00:02:28,876 --> 00:02:31,042
It's a happy story!
30
00:02:35,501 --> 00:02:37,001
When I was a kid...
31
00:02:37,126 --> 00:02:41,126
For a long time, I thought my mother
was dead, when I was a kid.
32
00:02:41,251 --> 00:02:45,084
I walked in the lounge room... 'Dad?'
He goes, 'What?'
33
00:02:45,209 --> 00:02:46,834
'Where's Mum?' 'Your mother?
34
00:02:46,959 --> 00:02:49,334
She went mad and shot herself.'
35
00:02:51,792 --> 00:02:53,292
I was eight.
36
00:02:57,542 --> 00:03:02,167
I recently went to an old girlfriend's
wedding. I don't recommend it.
37
00:03:02,292 --> 00:03:05,084
I thought it'd be cool,
going to an old girlfriend's wedding.
38
00:03:05,209 --> 00:03:09,042
It's all a bit French and everything...
'Cool. We're all happy now.'
39
00:03:09,167 --> 00:03:10,667
Shit.
40
00:03:10,792 --> 00:03:16,417
The predominant feeling at
an old girlfriend's wedding is, failure.
41
00:03:16,542 --> 00:03:20,626
Look at the happy couple on the altar.
'She's happy now.
42
00:03:20,751 --> 00:03:24,167
I've never seen her smile
like that before.'
43
00:03:27,334 --> 00:03:33,167
I've still got old girlfriends' numbers
in my phone. I can't let go.
44
00:03:33,292 --> 00:03:37,126
Some part of me thinks,
'Maybe we'll get back together.
45
00:03:37,251 --> 00:03:40,876
Maybe I'll ring them, drunk,
at two in the morning...
46
00:03:41,001 --> 00:03:45,376
'Hey! How are you?
I've been thinking about you lately.
47
00:03:45,501 --> 00:03:47,042
Let's have a kid.'
48
00:03:55,167 --> 00:03:58,751
What can I say
about this fella? I mean...
49
00:03:58,876 --> 00:04:00,376
We both met starting out,
50
00:04:00,501 --> 00:04:04,001
and it's just been
an absolute pleasure, watching him grow.
51
00:04:04,126 --> 00:04:08,667
I love him like a brother, and I'd like
to propose a toast to my friend.
52
00:04:08,792 --> 00:04:12,376
Manny, congratulations
on a really successful tour, mate.
53
00:04:12,501 --> 00:04:14,334
Here's to Manny.
54
00:04:14,459 --> 00:04:16,542
Thanks, everyone. Cheers.
55
00:04:20,042 --> 00:04:22,251
Is your old man coming?
56
00:04:22,376 --> 00:04:24,376
Nah. Knew he wouldn't.
57
00:04:24,501 --> 00:04:27,376
- Never does.
- Ah.
58
00:04:27,501 --> 00:04:31,667
Oh, anyway,
let's just go and enjoy ourselves, eh?
59
00:04:31,792 --> 00:04:33,292
Yeah.
60
00:04:33,417 --> 00:04:35,167
Come on, get into it.
61
00:04:35,292 --> 00:04:37,251
I can't be bothered.
62
00:04:37,376 --> 00:04:38,917
Mate, you need a woman.
63
00:04:39,042 --> 00:04:41,042
Who are half these people, anyway?
64
00:04:41,167 --> 00:04:44,084
It doesn't matter. There's some
fucking gold in there, mate.
65
00:04:44,209 --> 00:04:45,709
Yeah.
66
00:04:45,834 --> 00:04:48,959
Just come and meet some of them.
Come on.
67
00:04:49,084 --> 00:04:52,542
Come on, mate. Just go and have a dance!
68
00:04:52,667 --> 00:04:54,834
Come on!
69
00:04:54,959 --> 00:04:57,209
I really connect to everything you say.
70
00:04:57,334 --> 00:05:01,167
Thanks.
I appreciate that, but it's just jokes.
71
00:05:01,292 --> 00:05:02,959
No, you don't understand.
72
00:05:03,084 --> 00:05:05,209
What you say is the truth.
73
00:05:05,334 --> 00:05:06,834
You mean, like a prophet?
74
00:05:06,959 --> 00:05:09,126
Yes, you are, in a way.
75
00:05:09,251 --> 00:05:12,001
Would it be strange
if I asked you for a hug?
76
00:05:12,126 --> 00:05:13,834
Probably.
77
00:05:13,959 --> 00:05:16,167
OK. Ah, sorry.
78
00:05:16,292 --> 00:05:17,792
Nah, it's alright.
79
00:05:19,001 --> 00:05:20,501
Anyway, um...
80
00:05:22,792 --> 00:05:27,626
When we had hangovers,
we would have these Manny days.
81
00:05:27,751 --> 00:05:32,209
We'd all get together and make these
really strong bloody Marys
82
00:05:32,334 --> 00:05:33,917
and watch your DVDs.
83
00:05:34,042 --> 00:05:36,792
What, you only find me funny
when you're drunk?
84
00:05:38,126 --> 00:05:39,626
No, no. I...
85
00:05:41,709 --> 00:05:43,584
So, are you, like,
86
00:05:43,709 --> 00:05:45,709
a manic depressive?
87
00:05:45,834 --> 00:05:48,417
- Yeah, I am, a bit.
- So am I.
88
00:05:48,542 --> 00:05:51,084
No, I'm not really. Sorry.
89
00:05:54,501 --> 00:05:58,334
Apparently, you need, like, four hugs
a day to actually survive.
90
00:05:58,459 --> 00:06:01,209
If you don't get hugs,
if people don't get hugs,
91
00:06:01,334 --> 00:06:03,042
they can actually die.
92
00:06:04,042 --> 00:06:07,417
How do you know? How do you know
if it's manic depression?
93
00:06:07,542 --> 00:06:10,834
You might just be miserable.
Misery's not a disease.
94
00:06:10,959 --> 00:06:12,459
It's just misery.
95
00:06:14,917 --> 00:06:16,792
Nothing wrong with being miserable,
96
00:06:16,917 --> 00:06:19,834
unless you hang around
a bunch of happy people.
97
00:06:19,959 --> 00:06:21,584
- They shit me.
- Do they?
98
00:06:21,709 --> 00:06:23,792
Yeah. Happy people shit me.
99
00:06:24,792 --> 00:06:26,334
You don't shit me.
100
00:06:26,459 --> 00:06:27,959
Thank you.
101
00:06:28,084 --> 00:06:30,459
'Cause you look like how I feel.
102
00:06:31,626 --> 00:06:34,751
You To Me Are Everything
103
00:06:45,292 --> 00:06:49,001
Am I Ever Gonna See Your Face Again?
104
00:06:52,126 --> 00:06:55,126
I'm Not Coming Back
105
00:07:05,667 --> 00:07:08,584
What are you doing out here, mate?
There's girls in there.
106
00:07:08,709 --> 00:07:10,626
What am I going to do with them?
107
00:07:10,751 --> 00:07:12,501
Have sex with one of them.
108
00:07:12,626 --> 00:07:14,167
I might just go home.
109
00:07:16,042 --> 00:07:18,417
I've got some good news for you.
110
00:07:19,792 --> 00:07:22,042
That's Joel Hillman.
111
00:07:22,167 --> 00:07:23,876
- Who?
- Joel Hillman.
112
00:07:24,001 --> 00:07:26,667
- The American promoter. Remember?
- Oh! Yeah, yeah.
113
00:07:26,792 --> 00:07:28,667
Mate, the big US tour's coming off.
114
00:07:28,792 --> 00:07:30,292
Yeah, right. Yeah.
115
00:07:31,917 --> 00:07:33,417
You're a classic, mate.
116
00:07:33,542 --> 00:07:35,042
What?
117
00:07:35,167 --> 00:07:37,584
- You alright?
- Yeah, I'm alright.
118
00:07:37,709 --> 00:07:39,209
Yeah, I'm fine.
119
00:07:40,334 --> 00:07:42,876
- Cheers, mate.
- Cheers, mate.
120
00:07:43,001 --> 00:07:44,709
All good.
121
00:07:46,126 --> 00:07:47,834
America, here we come.
122
00:07:50,501 --> 00:07:52,209
I've never been there.
123
00:07:54,376 --> 00:07:56,334
They shouldn't let you in.
124
00:08:48,376 --> 00:08:53,459
You know how they say, 'Smile,
and the whole world smiles with you'?
125
00:08:53,584 --> 00:08:57,709
No, they don't. They think
there's something wrong with you.
126
00:08:57,834 --> 00:09:00,042
I see someone walking down the street,
smiling,
127
00:09:00,167 --> 00:09:02,876
the first thing I think is, 'Drugs.'
128
00:09:04,917 --> 00:09:08,751
If you see someone happy, you think
there's something wrong with them.
129
00:09:08,876 --> 00:09:11,626
You don't notice all the miserable,
unhappy people though.
130
00:09:11,751 --> 00:09:14,167
They fade in the background,
because that's normal.
131
00:09:15,709 --> 00:09:17,917
You know, when you're famous...
132
00:09:18,042 --> 00:09:21,001
Being famous is, well,
it's hard sometimes.
133
00:09:21,126 --> 00:09:23,042
It's like you're a marked man.
134
00:09:23,167 --> 00:09:25,542
You walk the street,
people are staring at you.
135
00:09:25,667 --> 00:09:29,292
They point, whisper your name.
'There's Manny over there. Look at him.
136
00:09:29,417 --> 00:09:31,251
He's got a funny head.'
137
00:09:31,376 --> 00:09:34,542
Like you've done something wrong.
Sometimes I feel like a criminal.
138
00:09:34,667 --> 00:09:36,626
All I did was make them laugh.
139
00:09:36,751 --> 00:09:39,167
Even prostitutes recognise me.
140
00:09:39,292 --> 00:09:44,126
I walked past one the other day. 'Hey,
Manny, want to come up for a freebie?'
141
00:09:44,251 --> 00:09:46,042
'No, thanks. I'll pay.'
142
00:10:18,126 --> 00:10:19,626
G'day, mate.
143
00:10:21,001 --> 00:10:22,501
How are you?
144
00:10:23,751 --> 00:10:25,292
You're a nice puppy.
145
00:10:26,376 --> 00:10:28,792
You by yourself tonight, hm?
146
00:10:30,042 --> 00:10:31,542
By yourself?
147
00:10:33,792 --> 00:10:35,334
Where's your mates?
148
00:10:36,501 --> 00:10:38,542
Where's your mates?
149
00:10:38,667 --> 00:10:40,167
Did they go on?
150
00:10:43,751 --> 00:10:45,251
See you next time.
151
00:10:52,209 --> 00:10:55,126
Abs workout
targets all those flabby bits
152
00:10:55,251 --> 00:10:56,751
I just couldn't get rid of.
153
00:10:56,876 --> 00:10:58,376
I have been working out...
154
00:11:25,667 --> 00:11:29,417
Welcome to Fantasy Hotline. We're
just putting you through to our first...
155
00:11:44,167 --> 00:11:45,876
Welcome to Fantasy Hotline.
156
00:11:46,001 --> 00:11:49,459
I'm just putting you through
to our first available lady.
157
00:11:49,584 --> 00:11:54,167
The young and beautiful Caroline is
ready to take your call.
158
00:11:55,709 --> 00:11:57,501
- Hello?
- Hello?
159
00:11:57,626 --> 00:12:00,126
Hi. I'm Caroline.
160
00:12:00,251 --> 00:12:01,959
Who am I talking to?
161
00:12:02,084 --> 00:12:03,834
Me. I'm... Thomas.
162
00:12:03,959 --> 00:12:08,501
Thomas! Tell me what you
look like, Thomas.
163
00:12:09,501 --> 00:12:12,167
I've got brown skin. I'm really tall.
164
00:12:12,292 --> 00:12:16,709
Mmm! Tall men turn me on, Thomas.
165
00:12:16,834 --> 00:12:21,167
Yeah. We're all tall in my family.
What do you look like?
166
00:12:21,292 --> 00:12:25,834
- Long, leggy, curvaceous.
- Oh, yeah?
167
00:12:25,959 --> 00:12:28,501
I love long, leggy, curvaceous.
168
00:12:28,626 --> 00:12:32,376
Tell me, Thomas, what turns you on?
169
00:12:32,501 --> 00:12:37,042
Whatever. I like to do anything.
What do you like?
170
00:12:37,167 --> 00:12:41,001
Let's start with a long and slow
back massage.
171
00:12:41,126 --> 00:12:43,876
What?
You're going to give me a back massage?
172
00:12:44,001 --> 00:12:46,001
Oh, yeah! You'll love it.
173
00:12:46,126 --> 00:12:49,167
- I don't really want a back massage.
- You're so tense!
174
00:12:49,292 --> 00:12:51,959
- No, I don't want one.
- Let me press my thumb...
175
00:12:52,084 --> 00:12:53,792
I said I don't want one.
176
00:12:58,042 --> 00:12:59,876
Back massage?
177
00:13:00,001 --> 00:13:02,001
I don't want a back massage!
178
00:13:02,126 --> 00:13:04,126
It's my money. $5 a minute.
179
00:13:04,251 --> 00:13:07,292
Fuck. It's cheaper
to go and get a proper massage.
180
00:13:24,417 --> 00:13:26,292
Hello?
181
00:13:26,417 --> 00:13:28,459
This is my fantasy.
182
00:13:28,584 --> 00:13:32,459
I don't lay in bed at night thinking,
'I'd love to have a back massage
183
00:13:32,584 --> 00:13:34,792
over the phone.'
184
00:13:34,917 --> 00:13:40,084
Well. Mm, I really upset you.
185
00:13:40,209 --> 00:13:42,376
Oh, sorry.
186
00:13:42,501 --> 00:13:44,626
Sorry I snapped at you.
187
00:13:44,751 --> 00:13:47,042
I just feel like talking, really.
188
00:13:49,167 --> 00:13:51,417
What do you want to talk about?
189
00:13:52,417 --> 00:13:55,834
Um, back massages? Just kidding.
190
00:13:56,834 --> 00:13:58,667
Whatever.
191
00:13:58,792 --> 00:14:01,042
It's better than watching TV.
192
00:14:03,084 --> 00:14:06,542
Thomas. Sounds like a Czech name.
193
00:14:06,667 --> 00:14:08,167
Are you Czech?
194
00:14:09,292 --> 00:14:10,959
I don't know.
195
00:14:11,084 --> 00:14:13,001
I'm a bit of everything, really.
196
00:14:13,126 --> 00:14:14,667
I'm a mongrel.
197
00:14:14,792 --> 00:14:17,084
Mm, sounds strong.
198
00:14:17,209 --> 00:14:18,709
Yeah.
199
00:14:18,834 --> 00:14:20,459
I got big arms.
200
00:14:21,834 --> 00:14:23,876
I've got a beard.
201
00:14:24,001 --> 00:14:25,501
I'm really manly.
202
00:14:27,876 --> 00:14:29,376
No, I'm not.
203
00:14:30,376 --> 00:14:32,542
I'm bullshitting.
204
00:14:32,667 --> 00:14:36,292
I'm 5'7", bald. I've got wing nuts.
205
00:14:36,417 --> 00:14:37,917
What's a wing nut?
206
00:14:38,042 --> 00:14:42,334
Wing nuts. You know when your ears
stick out like a wing nut?
207
00:14:42,459 --> 00:14:44,042
Wing nut?
208
00:14:44,167 --> 00:14:47,001
Yeah, that's what you call someone
with big ears... wing nuts.
209
00:14:47,126 --> 00:14:50,042
Anyway, that's what I've got...
fucking wing nuts.
210
00:14:51,792 --> 00:14:54,459
You think it's funny that
somebody's got wing nuts, do you?
211
00:14:54,584 --> 00:14:58,459
No! I think it's funny that
you call them 'wing nuts'.
212
00:14:58,584 --> 00:15:01,917
Anyway, let's get off my wing nuts.
Let's talk about something else.
213
00:15:02,042 --> 00:15:05,084
This is supposed to be
an erotic phone call, isn't it?
214
00:15:05,209 --> 00:15:07,209
If you want it to be.
215
00:15:07,334 --> 00:15:08,834
Do you want it to be?
216
00:15:09,834 --> 00:15:12,167
Not really.
217
00:15:12,292 --> 00:15:13,792
You're funny.
218
00:15:16,209 --> 00:15:19,584
Yeah, well,
that's one thing I'm good at.
219
00:15:19,709 --> 00:15:23,251
What, you're only good at one thing?
220
00:15:24,251 --> 00:15:26,167
Probably.
221
00:15:26,292 --> 00:15:31,417
I'm not good at anything else, really.
I mean, sometimes I feel like a loser.
222
00:15:31,542 --> 00:15:35,001
Yeah? Why do you feel like that?
223
00:15:35,126 --> 00:15:38,709
Ah, let me see... it's three in the
morning, I've got the curtains drawn.
224
00:15:38,834 --> 00:15:42,501
I'm talking to someone I don't even
know, having an erotic phone call.
225
00:15:42,626 --> 00:15:44,126
I mean... loser.
226
00:15:45,417 --> 00:15:47,834
I'm kind of doing the same thing.
227
00:15:47,959 --> 00:15:50,667
Yeah, but at least you're
getting paid for it.
228
00:15:50,792 --> 00:15:52,834
Anyway...
229
00:15:52,959 --> 00:15:56,667
it's late. Probably should go.
230
00:15:56,792 --> 00:15:59,876
It's been nice talking to you though.
Caroline, was it?
231
00:16:00,001 --> 00:16:02,751
Yeah. OK, Thomas.
232
00:16:02,876 --> 00:16:04,501
See ya.
233
00:16:04,626 --> 00:16:06,126
Bye.
234
00:16:40,167 --> 00:16:41,667
Hello?
235
00:16:41,792 --> 00:16:43,709
- Hello?
- Hello.
236
00:16:43,834 --> 00:16:45,917
- Is that Caroline?
- Yeah.
237
00:16:46,042 --> 00:16:48,667
It's me, Wing Nuts.
238
00:16:48,792 --> 00:16:53,001
Thomas. You're back again.
239
00:16:53,126 --> 00:16:54,626
Yeah.
240
00:16:57,792 --> 00:16:59,501
Um...
241
00:16:59,626 --> 00:17:01,334
do you ever...
242
00:17:01,459 --> 00:17:06,292
Do you guys, I mean,
people that do your thing,
243
00:17:06,417 --> 00:17:10,792
are you allowed to kind of meet up with
people you talk on the phone with?
244
00:17:10,917 --> 00:17:12,917
I'm not saying
I was thinking of doing that.
245
00:17:13,042 --> 00:17:17,584
I'm glad you're not thinking about it,
Thomas, because unfortunately, I can't.
246
00:17:17,709 --> 00:17:19,209
I was just asking.
247
00:17:19,334 --> 00:17:22,917
I'm not saying I was going to do it
anyway.
248
00:17:23,042 --> 00:17:26,042
I don't even know you. I mean,
you could be a freak or whatever.
249
00:17:28,042 --> 00:17:31,292
- You can always call.
- Yeah, I know.
250
00:17:31,417 --> 00:17:33,667
I feel a bit stupid now.
251
00:17:33,792 --> 00:17:37,792
Anyway, I'd better go to bed.
It's $5 a minute.
252
00:17:37,917 --> 00:17:39,667
OK.
253
00:17:39,792 --> 00:17:44,584
Anyway, I'll see you. I won't see you.
I mean, I'll...
254
00:17:44,709 --> 00:17:46,792
I'll talk to you, whatever.
255
00:17:48,084 --> 00:17:49,584
OK. Bye.
256
00:17:56,001 --> 00:17:57,501
Dickhead.
257
00:18:01,001 --> 00:18:02,501
Yoo!
258
00:18:03,667 --> 00:18:05,584
Go and score a goal, mate.
259
00:18:11,001 --> 00:18:12,626
How did you end up?
260
00:18:12,751 --> 00:18:15,292
Oh, you know, the usual.
261
00:18:15,417 --> 00:18:18,376
Jo was pissed off, I had a spew.
262
00:18:18,501 --> 00:18:20,834
Yeah, good times.
263
00:18:20,959 --> 00:18:23,376
You are a disaster.
264
00:18:23,501 --> 00:18:25,209
Yeah, I know.
265
00:18:25,334 --> 00:18:27,542
So how are you feeling
about your time off?
266
00:18:28,626 --> 00:18:30,126
Yeah.
267
00:18:30,251 --> 00:18:32,084
What are you going to do for two months?
268
00:18:32,209 --> 00:18:36,084
Dunno. Sit around, stare out the window,
269
00:18:36,209 --> 00:18:40,459
wonder what's happening in my life,
cup of tea, kill myself.
270
00:18:40,584 --> 00:18:43,709
You know, normal shit.
271
00:18:43,834 --> 00:18:48,042
Before you top yourself, Sad Sack,
think about the American offer.
272
00:18:48,167 --> 00:18:50,667
Yeah, I will. What are you going to do?
273
00:18:50,792 --> 00:18:52,334
I'm doing it.
274
00:18:52,459 --> 00:18:53,959
Come to Dad, mate!
275
00:19:00,292 --> 00:19:01,834
Jump on Uncle Manny.
276
00:19:01,959 --> 00:19:03,959
Oh! Alright.
277
00:19:04,084 --> 00:19:06,917
- Is that your dad?
- No.
278
00:19:07,042 --> 00:19:08,626
Oh, yeah.
279
00:19:08,751 --> 00:19:10,501
He can't say that!
280
00:19:10,626 --> 00:19:12,834
- I'm your real dad.
- You're not my daddy.
281
00:19:12,959 --> 00:19:15,251
- He's my dad.
- No, he's a drunk.
282
00:19:15,376 --> 00:19:19,209
No, my dad's over there,
my dad's over there!
283
00:19:20,251 --> 00:19:23,167
You talk a lot about your father.
What does he feel about it?
284
00:19:23,292 --> 00:19:26,209
Ah, he whinges a bit.
He's always whingeing.
285
00:19:26,334 --> 00:19:32,292
He's always saying, 'Comb your hair.
It looks like a bloody half-sucked mango.'
286
00:19:32,417 --> 00:19:37,459
My head's too big for my body.
I've got no arse. I look like a foetus.
287
00:19:37,584 --> 00:19:39,792
You're being a bit hard on yourself,
Manny.
288
00:19:39,917 --> 00:19:43,209
- And I've got wing nuts.
- You really think you've got wing nuts?
289
00:19:43,334 --> 00:19:45,001
Yeah, look at them.
290
00:19:45,126 --> 00:19:47,876
Either that
or my head's too small for my ears.
291
00:19:48,001 --> 00:19:52,042
People always come up and say,
'I just look at you and laugh.'
292
00:19:52,167 --> 00:19:54,751
I don't know whether to take that
as a compliment or not.
293
00:19:57,042 --> 00:19:59,834
Right... America.
So, do you want to do it or not?
294
00:19:59,959 --> 00:20:02,042
'Cause I need an answer.
295
00:20:02,167 --> 00:20:04,376
Yeah. Why not?
296
00:20:04,501 --> 00:20:07,084
OK. You know it means living there.
297
00:20:07,209 --> 00:20:09,417
They'll effectively own you.
Is that a problem?
298
00:20:09,542 --> 00:20:11,209
No. Let's go, let's go.
299
00:20:12,209 --> 00:20:15,834
OK. Alright,
we'll get them out here for a show.
300
00:20:15,959 --> 00:20:17,459
Yep.
301
00:20:17,584 --> 00:20:20,834
- There's just one more thing.
- What's that?
302
00:20:20,959 --> 00:20:24,542
They want you to go out live
on national television, the whole show.
303
00:20:24,667 --> 00:20:26,876
Why?
304
00:20:27,001 --> 00:20:28,709
To see if you can do it.
305
00:20:28,834 --> 00:20:30,542
- What, perform?
- Yeah.
306
00:20:30,667 --> 00:20:32,167
I've done it a million times.
307
00:20:32,292 --> 00:20:35,042
What difference does it make
if there's a camera in my face?
308
00:20:35,167 --> 00:20:38,584
That's just the way they do it, mate.
That's the deal.
309
00:20:38,709 --> 00:20:40,876
So do you want to do it or not?
310
00:20:41,001 --> 00:20:42,501
Yeah, I'll do it.
311
00:20:42,626 --> 00:20:46,084
Gold!
Alright, well, I'll book the State.
312
00:20:52,209 --> 00:20:53,917
What the fuck is that?
313
00:20:54,042 --> 00:20:55,876
Dunno, mate. Just eat it.
314
00:21:07,876 --> 00:21:09,917
You love your caramel slice.
315
00:21:10,042 --> 00:21:12,459
Yeah, just like Mum used to make.
316
00:21:15,084 --> 00:21:17,334
- See you, mate.
- Ciao, Manny.
317
00:21:22,501 --> 00:21:24,459
Ah, Hermann Hesse.
318
00:21:25,542 --> 00:21:27,042
It's a good book.
319
00:21:27,167 --> 00:21:28,834
- You've read it?
- Yeah.
320
00:21:28,959 --> 00:21:31,834
It's about a miserable bloke
who wants to kill himself
321
00:21:31,959 --> 00:21:35,584
until he meets a woman who teaches him
how to dance and enjoy life.
322
00:21:37,001 --> 00:21:39,167
- Well, there goes the ending.
- Oh, sorry.
323
00:21:39,292 --> 00:21:40,792
It's OK.
324
00:21:40,917 --> 00:21:43,459
Anyway, I'm Manny. I ruin novels.
325
00:21:43,584 --> 00:21:45,417
I'm Maria.
326
00:21:45,542 --> 00:21:48,584
- I think I've seen you.
- I was just here.
327
00:21:48,709 --> 00:21:51,917
- Anyway, I'd better get going.
- OK.
328
00:21:52,042 --> 00:21:54,792
Even though I've got nowhere to go.
329
00:21:54,917 --> 00:21:57,001
- I'll see you around.
- OK.
330
00:22:06,959 --> 00:22:08,459
Hey, ah...
331
00:22:08,584 --> 00:22:10,084
Sorry.
332
00:22:12,626 --> 00:22:15,292
Do you reckon I could get your number
and call you,
333
00:22:15,417 --> 00:22:19,251
and maybe have a coffee
and ruin another book?
334
00:22:22,376 --> 00:22:24,376
Um, sure.
335
00:22:24,501 --> 00:22:26,001
Great.
336
00:22:27,751 --> 00:22:29,251
Do you have a pen?
337
00:22:29,376 --> 00:22:31,001
No. Do you have one?
338
00:22:31,126 --> 00:22:32,626
No.
339
00:22:34,001 --> 00:22:36,126
I think Armando...
340
00:22:36,251 --> 00:22:37,751
Man, here!
341
00:22:39,876 --> 00:22:41,376
Oh. Yep.
342
00:23:24,751 --> 00:23:27,042
The finest comedian!
343
00:23:27,167 --> 00:23:28,667
How are you going, Dad?
344
00:23:28,792 --> 00:23:30,542
How the bloody hell are you?
345
00:23:30,667 --> 00:23:32,792
You finally decided
to visit your old man.
346
00:23:32,917 --> 00:23:35,417
- You could visit me.
- Here we go. Don't start.
347
00:23:35,542 --> 00:23:37,792
- You started.
- You can't argue with you, can you?
348
00:23:37,917 --> 00:23:39,709
You've always got to have the last word.
349
00:23:39,834 --> 00:23:42,001
- If I don't, you will.
- How's your shows going?
350
00:23:42,126 --> 00:23:44,376
- Good. You should come one time.
- I don't have to.
351
00:23:44,501 --> 00:23:47,626
I know what you talk about.
You talk about me half the time.
352
00:23:47,751 --> 00:23:50,167
It's all bloody bullshit anyway.
353
00:24:24,292 --> 00:24:26,209
- What's that?
- What?
354
00:24:26,334 --> 00:24:28,626
DVD with a naked girl on the front.
355
00:24:28,751 --> 00:24:31,792
Oh. Cloudy gave me that awhile back.
356
00:24:31,917 --> 00:24:33,542
- You ever watch it?
- Nah.
357
00:24:33,667 --> 00:24:35,709
Bullshit. Stick it on.
358
00:24:41,667 --> 00:24:43,917
You've got to be fit to do that.
359
00:24:44,917 --> 00:24:46,542
You had enough?
360
00:24:46,667 --> 00:24:48,209
You wanted to watch it.
361
00:24:48,334 --> 00:24:51,834
Just wanted to have a look.
I didn't want to watch the whole thing.
362
00:24:51,959 --> 00:24:53,501
I feel a bit sick now.
363
00:24:59,751 --> 00:25:01,834
Well, what do you want to do?
364
00:25:03,042 --> 00:25:06,334
Do you want to go out for lunch
or something?
365
00:25:06,459 --> 00:25:07,959
Lunch? Don't be fucking stupid!
366
00:25:08,084 --> 00:25:11,209
- Why's it stupid?
- Go to some bloody poofy cafe
367
00:25:11,334 --> 00:25:14,709
and pay ten bucks for one carrot?
There's bloody food in the fridge.
368
00:25:14,834 --> 00:25:16,917
Well, forget it.
369
00:25:17,042 --> 00:25:19,167
Do you want to go for a walk?
370
00:25:19,292 --> 00:25:21,667
What am I, your girlfriend?
371
00:25:23,042 --> 00:25:25,709
You never bring your girlfriends
out here.
372
00:25:25,834 --> 00:25:27,834
I would if I had one.
373
00:25:27,959 --> 00:25:30,876
When you going to make me a grandfather?
374
00:25:31,001 --> 00:25:33,501
When I get one of them pregnant.
375
00:25:37,292 --> 00:25:39,542
- Beer?
- Beer?
376
00:25:39,667 --> 00:25:41,167
It's 11:30.
377
00:25:41,292 --> 00:25:43,917
Didn't the doctor say
you shouldn't be drinking?
378
00:25:44,042 --> 00:25:45,834
Mate, I gave up smoking.
379
00:25:45,959 --> 00:25:48,584
Haven't had a root
since your mother died.
380
00:25:48,709 --> 00:25:53,876
Drinking's the only thing I've got left.
I'm drinking. Do you want one or not?
381
00:25:54,001 --> 00:25:55,501
Yeah, righto.
382
00:26:04,001 --> 00:26:06,501
Right. Ring her up, say hello,
383
00:26:06,626 --> 00:26:10,959
ask her how she is, try to listen
to the answer, if that's possible.
384
00:26:11,084 --> 00:26:14,167
Talk about the weather,
not for too long.
385
00:26:14,292 --> 00:26:17,959
Then just ask her out
and get the fuck off the phone.
386
00:26:27,542 --> 00:26:29,042
Hi. Maria speaking.
387
00:26:29,167 --> 00:26:33,001
Oh, hi. It's Manny from down the cafe.
388
00:26:33,126 --> 00:26:36,084
Oh, hi, Manny. How are you?
389
00:26:36,209 --> 00:26:37,709
Yeah, I'm good.
390
00:26:37,834 --> 00:26:40,959
How are you?
It was warm today, wasn't it?
391
00:26:43,959 --> 00:26:45,459
Yeah, a little bit.
392
00:26:47,667 --> 00:26:52,667
I was just wondering, are you
doing anything on Saturday night?
393
00:26:52,792 --> 00:26:55,751
Saturday I'm busy. I'm sorry.
394
00:26:56,751 --> 00:26:59,501
Oh, OK. Well, what about Sunday?
395
00:26:59,626 --> 00:27:02,209
No, Sunday, I'm busy all day and night.
396
00:27:03,459 --> 00:27:04,959
Oh.
397
00:27:06,792 --> 00:27:10,876
OK, well, maybe I'll just see you around
some time.
398
00:27:11,001 --> 00:27:13,334
Um, I'm not busy tonight.
399
00:27:14,417 --> 00:27:16,209
If you're free tonight.
400
00:27:16,334 --> 00:27:20,209
Yeah, I am. I forgot about tonight.
That would be good.
401
00:27:20,334 --> 00:27:22,126
Great!
402
00:27:22,251 --> 00:27:25,042
Perfect! Alright, I'll see you then.
403
00:27:25,167 --> 00:27:26,667
OK.
404
00:27:29,376 --> 00:27:30,917
Yeah!
405
00:27:31,042 --> 00:27:34,417
This Charming Man
406
00:28:18,876 --> 00:28:20,376
Jesus.
407
00:28:20,501 --> 00:28:23,251
Can you be normal tonight,
is that possible?
408
00:28:23,376 --> 00:28:27,251
Just be normal.
Don't tell her about your colonic.
409
00:28:27,376 --> 00:28:29,667
You know what,
don't even talk about your arse.
410
00:28:29,792 --> 00:28:33,251
Just leave your arse
out of the conversation.
411
00:28:33,376 --> 00:28:35,834
When she talks, listen, you know?
412
00:28:35,959 --> 00:28:39,751
Don't glaze over while she's talking,
otherwise you look bored.
413
00:28:39,876 --> 00:28:42,834
You might be a bit bored at some point.
That's cool.
414
00:28:42,959 --> 00:28:45,459
Just don't let on that you're bored.
415
00:28:45,584 --> 00:28:48,167
Don't act sexy, whatever that is.
We can't be sexy.
416
00:28:48,292 --> 00:28:51,376
I'm not sexy. You sexy? Nobody's sexy.
417
00:28:51,501 --> 00:28:54,292
Pay for the meal. That's a good idea,
'cause you asked her out.
418
00:28:54,417 --> 00:28:58,292
That's the law.
If you ask them out, you've got to pay.
419
00:28:58,417 --> 00:29:02,626
Don't shovel the food in your mouth
like a guts, even though you are a guts.
420
00:29:02,751 --> 00:29:06,792
Just pretend that you're not a guts,
for one night.
421
00:29:06,917 --> 00:29:09,251
Can you do that, please?
422
00:29:09,376 --> 00:29:12,042
Just be normal, alright?
423
00:29:12,167 --> 00:29:13,667
Normal.
424
00:29:33,209 --> 00:29:34,917
He always does that.
425
00:29:35,042 --> 00:29:36,667
First time I came here, I got beers.
426
00:29:36,792 --> 00:29:40,126
Now every time I come here, he gives me
beer before I have a chance to order.
427
00:29:40,251 --> 00:29:43,167
I kind of like it, even though
I don't feel like beer sometimes.
428
00:29:43,292 --> 00:29:45,042
Would you mind if I had wine?
429
00:29:45,167 --> 00:29:47,751
He might get pissed off.
He's from Czechoslovakia.
430
00:29:47,876 --> 00:29:50,459
They're all a bit depressed there.
431
00:29:51,501 --> 00:29:53,001
Excuse me?
432
00:29:53,126 --> 00:29:56,001
Could I get a glass of red wine, please?
433
00:29:56,126 --> 00:29:58,209
OK.
434
00:29:58,334 --> 00:30:02,376
It's alright. I'll have hers.
I feel like two anyway.
435
00:30:06,959 --> 00:30:09,042
Hey, look, it's a mandorla.
436
00:30:11,584 --> 00:30:14,542
- What's a mandorla?
- Mandorla is the almond shape
437
00:30:14,667 --> 00:30:16,709
that the two circles make
when they overlap.
438
00:30:16,834 --> 00:30:18,334
That's the mandorla.
439
00:30:18,459 --> 00:30:19,959
Right.
440
00:30:21,042 --> 00:30:23,251
Yo, funny guy!
441
00:30:23,376 --> 00:30:24,876
Mate, great!
442
00:30:26,251 --> 00:30:28,376
- Friend of yours?
- Yeah, no.
443
00:30:28,501 --> 00:30:30,501
I know him from work and stuff.
444
00:30:30,626 --> 00:30:32,126
I know. I've seen you perform.
445
00:30:32,251 --> 00:30:35,084
Oh, yeah? Hope you got a few laughs.
446
00:30:35,209 --> 00:30:37,959
- Yeah, I did.
- Just a few?
447
00:30:38,084 --> 00:30:40,042
Oh, no. I thought it was really funny.
448
00:30:40,167 --> 00:30:41,876
All of it?
449
00:30:42,001 --> 00:30:43,667
Do you like feedback about your show?
450
00:30:45,167 --> 00:30:48,251
Sort of. I mean,
over the years, I've heard it all.
451
00:30:48,376 --> 00:30:50,751
Some people say I'm great,
some people say I'm shit.
452
00:30:50,876 --> 00:30:54,751
No, I loved it.
Manny, I think you're really funny.
453
00:30:56,042 --> 00:30:57,542
But, um,
454
00:30:57,667 --> 00:31:01,959
if you don't mind me being honest,
you looked a bit tired.
455
00:31:05,959 --> 00:31:07,459
I am.
456
00:31:07,584 --> 00:31:10,292
20 years of telling people what I think,
what I reckon...
457
00:31:10,417 --> 00:31:14,834
I mean, I like making people laugh,
but I'm worn out.
458
00:31:14,959 --> 00:31:17,084
Anyway, what do you do?
459
00:31:19,084 --> 00:31:20,584
Um...
460
00:31:20,709 --> 00:31:22,417
I work in a call centre.
461
00:31:22,542 --> 00:31:25,042
Oh, yeah? What do you call people about?
462
00:31:25,167 --> 00:31:27,126
All sorts of stuff.
463
00:31:27,251 --> 00:31:29,459
Mysterious! What sort of stuff?
464
00:31:29,584 --> 00:31:33,376
Just all sorts of jobs.
465
00:31:33,501 --> 00:31:35,042
It's confidential.
466
00:31:35,167 --> 00:31:40,792
You know you've got a really nice voice?
Really feminine and calming.
467
00:31:40,917 --> 00:31:42,417
Thank you.
468
00:31:42,542 --> 00:31:44,842
If I didn't know you
and I was talking to you on the phone,
469
00:31:44,967 --> 00:31:47,559
I'd think you were really sexy.
470
00:31:48,084 --> 00:31:49,751
I wouldn't tell you what to do,
471
00:31:49,876 --> 00:31:52,251
but you could make a lot of money,
using your voice.
472
00:31:52,376 --> 00:31:54,084
There's something I should tell you.
473
00:31:54,209 --> 00:31:58,917
Radio commercials and GPS
and fantasy hotlines.
474
00:31:59,042 --> 00:32:00,542
I'm not saying you do that, but...
475
00:32:00,667 --> 00:32:05,917
Anyway, that's just what I reckon.
Sorry. What were you saying?
476
00:32:06,042 --> 00:32:10,042
I... I forget.
Thanks for saying all that.
477
00:32:16,667 --> 00:32:19,417
I should go.
You've probably got things to do.
478
00:32:19,542 --> 00:32:21,376
Oh, OK.
479
00:32:21,501 --> 00:32:24,626
No... I'm sure you're busy too.
480
00:32:26,251 --> 00:32:27,751
Yeah. Anyway...
481
00:32:27,876 --> 00:32:29,376
OK.
482
00:32:31,334 --> 00:32:34,417
I'm up for another drink if you are.
483
00:32:34,542 --> 00:32:36,042
Sure.
484
00:32:36,167 --> 00:32:37,667
Right.
485
00:32:37,792 --> 00:32:40,667
I know this really nice place
around the corner.
486
00:32:40,792 --> 00:32:42,292
Let's go.
487
00:32:42,417 --> 00:32:43,917
Mambo!
488
00:33:08,959 --> 00:33:10,501
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
489
00:33:17,501 --> 00:33:19,001
Mm, salt.
490
00:33:26,167 --> 00:33:27,876
- I love salsa.
- Yeah?
491
00:33:29,376 --> 00:33:31,292
What do you like about it?
492
00:33:31,417 --> 00:33:34,209
- Look how happy they all are.
- Yeah.
493
00:33:34,334 --> 00:33:36,126
- It's pretty sexy.
- Yeah.
494
00:33:36,251 --> 00:33:38,084
Can you salsa?
495
00:33:38,209 --> 00:33:41,792
Yeah, probably when I'm pissed,
do my own version.
496
00:33:43,626 --> 00:33:45,459
- You want to give it a go?
- Really?
497
00:33:45,584 --> 00:33:47,084
- Yeah.
- Ah...
498
00:33:47,209 --> 00:33:48,709
- Come on.
- Come on!
499
00:33:50,417 --> 00:33:51,917
Hang on.
500
00:33:56,417 --> 00:33:57,917
OK
501
00:36:41,001 --> 00:36:43,292
Hello?
502
00:36:43,417 --> 00:36:44,917
Hi, it's Manny.
503
00:36:45,042 --> 00:36:47,417
You know, the guy from the awkward hug
in the street?
504
00:36:47,542 --> 00:36:49,126
Yeah.
505
00:36:49,251 --> 00:36:52,834
I just wanted to say,
thanks for tonight. I enjoyed it.
506
00:36:52,959 --> 00:36:55,001
And um, see you soon.
507
00:36:55,126 --> 00:36:57,042
See you soon.
508
00:36:57,167 --> 00:37:00,626
Alright. Oh, by the way,
I'm not stalking you.
509
00:37:01,876 --> 00:37:03,709
Alright. See ya.
510
00:37:03,834 --> 00:37:05,334
Bye.
511
00:37:11,917 --> 00:37:15,042
Probably should have waited
a couple of days before I called her.
512
00:37:15,167 --> 00:37:18,917
Wait for what,
some other bloke to call her?
513
00:37:19,042 --> 00:37:21,626
I don't want to look too desperate.
514
00:37:21,751 --> 00:37:23,292
I am desperate!
515
00:37:23,417 --> 00:37:26,084
I don't go out with anyone.
516
00:37:26,209 --> 00:37:28,459
You can't look too keen.
517
00:37:28,584 --> 00:37:32,167
What do you want to look like, then... a
fucking zombie who doesn't give a shit?
518
00:37:32,292 --> 00:37:33,834
That's attractive.
519
00:37:47,667 --> 00:37:49,209
Hello?
520
00:37:49,334 --> 00:37:50,834
Caroline?
521
00:37:51,834 --> 00:37:53,334
Thomas?
522
00:37:54,459 --> 00:37:56,292
I haven't heard from you in awhile.
523
00:37:56,417 --> 00:37:59,251
Believe it or not, I've met a girl.
524
00:38:01,167 --> 00:38:02,751
How's it going?
525
00:38:02,876 --> 00:38:05,042
Mm, good.
526
00:38:05,167 --> 00:38:06,667
Just 'good'?
527
00:38:07,876 --> 00:38:09,709
It's got potential.
528
00:38:09,834 --> 00:38:12,917
But, you know,
the normal stuff comes up.
529
00:38:13,042 --> 00:38:16,292
You know... you always
find something wrong with them.
530
00:38:16,417 --> 00:38:18,042
Like what?
531
00:38:18,167 --> 00:38:22,667
Nothing serious. Just normal stuff.
I mean, it's just boring.
532
00:38:22,792 --> 00:38:24,917
Oh, no. This is interesting.
533
00:38:25,042 --> 00:38:28,292
Well, I feel bad for saying it, but...
534
00:38:28,417 --> 00:38:31,251
she makes this noise with her lips
when she's eating.
535
00:38:33,709 --> 00:38:35,209
What noise?
536
00:38:35,334 --> 00:38:37,042
'Mm-num-num-num...'
537
00:38:38,209 --> 00:38:39,959
Drives me nuts.
538
00:38:40,084 --> 00:38:41,584
Yeah.
539
00:38:42,876 --> 00:38:45,709
So what else bothers you about her?
540
00:38:45,834 --> 00:38:47,917
She's a bit straight.
541
00:38:48,042 --> 00:38:49,542
Straight?
542
00:38:49,667 --> 00:38:54,334
Yeah, just a bit old-fashioned.
But, you know, I can get around that.
543
00:38:57,376 --> 00:39:01,126
Well, there must be something you like
about her.
544
00:39:02,376 --> 00:39:04,584
Do you find her attractive?
545
00:39:04,709 --> 00:39:06,209
Yeah.
546
00:39:06,334 --> 00:39:09,001
Well, what do you mean, 'yeah'?
547
00:39:09,126 --> 00:39:13,709
Well, she's not a glamour,
but I don't like glamours anyway.
548
00:39:13,834 --> 00:39:18,292
I like girls that look like
they want to make soup and watch DVDs.
549
00:39:18,417 --> 00:39:20,792
I don't know. I always feel this way.
550
00:39:20,917 --> 00:39:25,626
I start going out with someone,
I feel like bolting at the same time.
551
00:39:25,751 --> 00:39:27,251
Why?
552
00:39:29,792 --> 00:39:33,001
Getting close to someone
and all that stuff.
553
00:39:33,126 --> 00:39:34,626
I just get scared.
554
00:39:37,584 --> 00:39:39,459
But I like her.
555
00:39:39,584 --> 00:39:42,751
She looks to me in the eye
when she's talking to me.
556
00:39:42,876 --> 00:39:46,167
I've been having fun with her.
She's great.
557
00:39:47,167 --> 00:39:50,709
Dad, can I please go
and play with the ducks, please?
558
00:39:50,834 --> 00:39:52,459
Yes, mate. Off you go.
559
00:39:58,792 --> 00:40:02,459
Ever think about leaving your wife and
kids and going back to your old life?
560
00:40:04,584 --> 00:40:06,292
Every day.
561
00:40:06,417 --> 00:40:08,667
Why don't you?
562
00:40:08,792 --> 00:40:10,376
'Cause I love my family.
563
00:40:10,501 --> 00:40:12,501
Fair enough.
564
00:40:12,626 --> 00:40:14,126
You should have one, you know.
565
00:40:14,251 --> 00:40:16,084
I reckon you'd love it.
566
00:40:16,209 --> 00:40:19,084
A bit of balance in your life
instead of performing all the time.
567
00:40:19,209 --> 00:40:23,126
Yeah, I know. I'm not against it.
Just got to get a girlfriend first.
568
00:40:23,251 --> 00:40:25,292
Well, stop fart-arseing around
and get one.
569
00:40:25,417 --> 00:40:28,376
Sure. What else am I going to do,
sit around and blow-dry my pubes?
570
00:40:32,376 --> 00:40:34,501
Right. So that's a yes, then?
571
00:40:34,626 --> 00:40:36,376
Yeah, alright.
572
00:40:38,126 --> 00:40:40,834
Ethan! Don't piss on the ducks, son.
573
00:41:02,959 --> 00:41:04,459
- Hello.
- Hi.
574
00:41:04,584 --> 00:41:06,084
Come in.
575
00:41:08,126 --> 00:41:09,626
Oh!
576
00:41:10,834 --> 00:41:13,167
- Wow!
- Yeah.
577
00:41:13,292 --> 00:41:15,834
My God, you have the harbour
and the city.
578
00:41:15,959 --> 00:41:19,376
When I'm feeling happy,
I look at the harbour
579
00:41:19,501 --> 00:41:22,501
and when I'm feeling depressed,
I look at the city.
580
00:41:22,626 --> 00:41:25,417
When I don't feel anything at all,
I just stare at the carpet.
581
00:41:25,542 --> 00:41:27,167
Do you want a cup of tea?
582
00:41:27,292 --> 00:41:28,792
That'd be great.
583
00:41:32,834 --> 00:41:35,292
Mm, yum!
584
00:41:35,417 --> 00:41:37,876
Iced VoVos. I love Iced VoVos.
585
00:41:38,001 --> 00:41:40,001
- Do you?
- Mm-hm.
586
00:41:40,126 --> 00:41:42,542
- Ever do that thing?
- What thing?
587
00:41:42,667 --> 00:41:45,667
You know, where you take the
pink stripes off first, then leave...
588
00:41:45,792 --> 00:41:47,334
I'll show you.
589
00:41:47,459 --> 00:41:49,584
- Watching?
- I'm watching.
590
00:41:49,709 --> 00:41:51,626
Mm...
591
00:41:58,042 --> 00:41:59,667
What's so good about the red bit?
592
00:41:59,792 --> 00:42:01,626
I don't know.
593
00:42:01,751 --> 00:42:04,709
I've been doing it since I was a kid.
It's just fun.
594
00:42:06,959 --> 00:42:08,459
I got a little bit of the rim.
595
00:42:08,584 --> 00:42:12,334
I didn't understand any of that...
'Rr-rr-rr-rp.'
596
00:42:13,334 --> 00:42:16,334
- What are you looking at me for?
- You've got coconut...
597
00:42:16,459 --> 00:42:19,626
You're not supposed to make eye contact
when you do it. Quite creepy.
598
00:42:19,751 --> 00:42:21,251
Good.
599
00:42:21,376 --> 00:42:23,459
You've got some coconut...
600
00:42:24,542 --> 00:42:26,667
- Yeah. I want it there.
- Just leaving it?
601
00:42:26,792 --> 00:42:28,584
- Yeah.
- For dinner?
602
00:42:28,709 --> 00:42:30,542
- For Ron.
- Who's Ron?
603
00:42:30,667 --> 00:42:32,334
Later on.
604
00:42:32,459 --> 00:42:34,126
Boom!
605
00:42:34,251 --> 00:42:36,876
You don't know that one? That's so old.
606
00:42:41,001 --> 00:42:42,501
Boom!
607
00:42:42,626 --> 00:42:44,126
Champion.
608
00:42:45,417 --> 00:42:46,917
Loser.
609
00:42:49,501 --> 00:42:51,001
Are you watching?
610
00:42:53,959 --> 00:42:55,459
Tada!
611
00:42:58,417 --> 00:42:59,917
What is it?
612
00:43:00,042 --> 00:43:02,209
It's my trick. It's the Opera House.
613
00:43:02,334 --> 00:43:04,459
- Oh, yeah!
- That was my trick, growing up.
614
00:43:04,584 --> 00:43:06,501
Oh, right. Where'd you grow up?
615
00:43:06,626 --> 00:43:08,126
- Gympie.
- Gympie?
616
00:43:08,251 --> 00:43:09,751
Gympie.
617
00:43:09,876 --> 00:43:13,167
- Parents still out there?
- Mum's still there.
618
00:43:13,292 --> 00:43:15,001
Oh, yeah? What about your old man?
619
00:43:15,126 --> 00:43:18,501
My dad, I haven't seen since I was 13.
620
00:43:18,626 --> 00:43:20,126
Oh, right.
621
00:43:28,459 --> 00:43:30,001
♪ Shy and pretty girl
622
00:43:32,834 --> 00:43:34,334
♪ All the way
623
00:43:34,459 --> 00:43:35,959
♪ From Gympie
624
00:43:42,126 --> 00:43:43,667
♪ She packed her bags
625
00:43:46,542 --> 00:43:48,834
♪ And headed down to Sydney
626
00:43:53,167 --> 00:43:55,376
♪ She wanted to be freer
627
00:43:59,084 --> 00:44:01,001
♪ Mm
628
00:44:01,126 --> 00:44:03,126
♪ Maria. ♪
629
00:44:06,501 --> 00:44:09,334
That was very sweet,
you wrote a song about me.
630
00:44:09,459 --> 00:44:12,542
Actually, it's about this other girl
in Gympie called Maria.
631
00:44:12,667 --> 00:44:14,376
Bad joke, sorry. Yeah.
632
00:44:16,084 --> 00:44:18,084
Um, so...
633
00:44:19,792 --> 00:44:21,876
what do you want to do now?
634
00:44:22,001 --> 00:44:24,667
I brought some soup.
I don't know if you like soup.
635
00:44:24,792 --> 00:44:26,751
You made soup?
636
00:44:26,876 --> 00:44:28,376
I love soup.
637
00:44:28,501 --> 00:44:31,251
And I don't know if you feel like
watching a movie.
638
00:44:31,376 --> 00:44:34,834
Yeah You brought a movie and soup.
Good guess.
639
00:44:34,959 --> 00:44:36,459
Let's watch it.
640
00:44:37,459 --> 00:44:42,417
She's great. We got along really well.
It was like a perfect date.
641
00:44:42,542 --> 00:44:45,542
- Great!
- Well, not perfect.
642
00:44:45,667 --> 00:44:47,334
There's always something missing.
643
00:44:47,459 --> 00:44:48,959
Like?
644
00:44:50,292 --> 00:44:53,792
She always has her hair up.
Kind of looks like a librarian.
645
00:44:53,917 --> 00:44:59,751
She wears loose clothes. I mean,
what's she hiding, what's under there?
646
00:44:59,876 --> 00:45:01,751
Who knows?
647
00:45:01,876 --> 00:45:03,376
It's not the only thing.
648
00:45:05,251 --> 00:45:06,751
The thing is...
649
00:45:07,959 --> 00:45:09,501
I think she's beautiful.
650
00:45:11,626 --> 00:45:13,167
She doesn't know it.
651
00:45:16,876 --> 00:45:19,584
That's what I really like about her.
652
00:45:35,792 --> 00:45:37,292
What is it?
653
00:45:39,459 --> 00:45:40,959
You look great.
654
00:45:41,084 --> 00:45:42,834
Really?
655
00:45:42,959 --> 00:45:44,459
Yeah!
656
00:45:44,584 --> 00:45:46,084
OK. Thanks.
657
00:45:47,959 --> 00:45:49,459
Shall we?
658
00:46:06,626 --> 00:46:09,251
Oh, no, this is going
to be embarrassing.
659
00:46:09,376 --> 00:46:11,584
Come. Armando!
660
00:46:11,709 --> 00:46:13,501
- Hey!
- Hey.
661
00:46:15,667 --> 00:46:16,709
Maria!
662
00:46:20,167 --> 00:46:22,084
How are you?
663
00:46:22,209 --> 00:46:23,709
This is Manny.
664
00:46:23,834 --> 00:46:26,084
- You're very muscly, very brown.
- Oh, thank you.
665
00:46:28,667 --> 00:46:31,084
Are you enjoying it?
666
00:46:31,209 --> 00:46:33,251
Yeah.
667
00:46:33,376 --> 00:46:35,584
It's kind of like beans and meat,
really.
668
00:46:35,709 --> 00:46:37,626
It's feijoada.
669
00:46:37,751 --> 00:46:39,251
Fezh-what?
670
00:46:39,376 --> 00:46:40,876
Feijoada.
671
00:46:41,001 --> 00:46:44,126
Sounds like you're saying, 'Fish water'.
672
00:46:46,292 --> 00:46:47,834
Aren't they great?
673
00:46:51,209 --> 00:46:52,751
Yeah. No, it's good.
674
00:46:52,876 --> 00:46:54,667
Bit loud, don't you reckon?
675
00:46:54,792 --> 00:46:58,167
They offered me a spot on the boat
back to Hio.
676
00:47:00,042 --> 00:47:01,667
Back to where?
677
00:47:01,792 --> 00:47:03,584
Rio de Janeiro.
678
00:47:03,709 --> 00:47:05,209
Oh, I see.
679
00:47:05,334 --> 00:47:06,876
What?
680
00:47:07,001 --> 00:47:08,709
I mean, Rio de Janeiro?
681
00:47:08,834 --> 00:47:11,792
No. In Brazil, we say, 'Hio de Janeiro'.
682
00:47:11,917 --> 00:47:13,584
I'm soh-hy.
683
00:47:13,709 --> 00:47:15,667
I'm Hong.
684
00:47:16,876 --> 00:47:18,834
So...
685
00:47:18,959 --> 00:47:20,917
you going to go?
686
00:47:21,042 --> 00:47:22,584
I'd love to.
687
00:47:24,542 --> 00:47:26,751
I don't know. It's a fantasy.
688
00:47:37,751 --> 00:47:39,751
What, who?
689
00:47:39,876 --> 00:47:42,001
Did you always want to go to Brazil?
690
00:47:42,126 --> 00:47:45,751
Well, they all seem really happy.
691
00:47:45,876 --> 00:47:47,542
They know how to have fun.
692
00:47:47,667 --> 00:47:49,167
Yeah, right.
693
00:47:49,292 --> 00:47:51,209
- Hey, funnyman!
- Incoming.
694
00:47:51,334 --> 00:47:53,459
- Can we swap chairs?
- Yeah.
695
00:47:55,376 --> 00:47:58,709
If he comes over,
we'll pretend we're having an argument,
696
00:47:58,834 --> 00:48:00,667
and he'll leave us alone.
697
00:48:00,792 --> 00:48:02,667
What did you just say?!
698
00:48:02,792 --> 00:48:05,292
- I was just...
- How dare you!
699
00:48:05,417 --> 00:48:08,834
I don't have to put up with this.
I'm leaving.
700
00:48:19,001 --> 00:48:22,042
Jesus! You don't hold back, do you?
701
00:48:22,167 --> 00:48:23,667
That really hurt!
702
00:48:23,792 --> 00:48:26,959
- Does it really hurt?
- Yeah. Ow!
703
00:48:36,542 --> 00:48:39,751
She's thinking about going to Brazil.
704
00:48:39,876 --> 00:48:42,126
And how do you feel about that?
705
00:48:42,251 --> 00:48:45,709
To be honest, there's always part of me
that feels relief.
706
00:48:45,834 --> 00:48:47,959
Relieved of what?
707
00:48:48,084 --> 00:48:50,584
The burden of having a girlfriend.
708
00:48:50,709 --> 00:48:53,417
You've got to deal with their shit,
709
00:48:53,542 --> 00:48:56,584
you've got to listen to all the things
they have to say about you.
710
00:48:56,709 --> 00:48:59,667
I mean, I don't need help hating myself.
711
00:49:01,417 --> 00:49:04,876
It's exhausting, being a boyfriend.
712
00:49:06,626 --> 00:49:08,126
But you know...
713
00:49:09,334 --> 00:49:11,126
I don't want her to go.
714
00:49:15,376 --> 00:49:16,876
So?
715
00:49:18,167 --> 00:49:20,876
How's it going with the new girlfriend?
716
00:49:21,001 --> 00:49:23,209
It's great.
717
00:49:23,334 --> 00:49:25,292
I just love talking to her.
718
00:49:30,292 --> 00:49:31,792
What?
719
00:49:31,917 --> 00:49:34,876
Your whole face changes
when you talk about her.
720
00:49:35,001 --> 00:49:37,001
Yeah, I know.
721
00:49:38,834 --> 00:49:41,417
I've got that sick feeling though.
722
00:49:41,542 --> 00:49:43,042
What do you mean?
723
00:49:45,001 --> 00:49:47,209
You know,
when something good is happening?
724
00:49:49,501 --> 00:49:52,209
What? Stop looking at me.
725
00:49:52,334 --> 00:49:54,084
Don't be like that.
726
00:50:00,917 --> 00:50:01,917
Hi.
727
00:50:03,417 --> 00:50:05,459
Do you like kids?
728
00:50:05,584 --> 00:50:07,417
Sort of.
729
00:50:07,542 --> 00:50:09,334
You ever think about having them?
730
00:50:09,459 --> 00:50:13,084
Jesus! Three dates,
we're having the kid conversation.
731
00:50:13,209 --> 00:50:14,959
No, I'm just curious.
732
00:50:15,084 --> 00:50:18,584
I'm not against them,
I mean, if the right person comes along.
733
00:50:18,709 --> 00:50:20,376
I don't really think about that much.
734
00:50:20,501 --> 00:50:24,042
Except their parents with their fucking
eyeballs bulging out of their heads,
735
00:50:24,167 --> 00:50:26,626
going, 'I haven't slept in two years!'
736
00:50:26,751 --> 00:50:28,417
- It's him!
- Uh-oh.
737
00:50:28,542 --> 00:50:30,959
- What?
- Incoming.
738
00:50:31,084 --> 00:50:33,667
- What do you want me to do?
- Dunno.
739
00:50:49,709 --> 00:50:52,251
Was that a real kiss or a fake kiss?
740
00:50:54,792 --> 00:50:56,292
This is a fake one.
741
00:50:59,959 --> 00:51:02,001
And this is a real one.
742
00:51:08,876 --> 00:51:10,667
What did that feel like?
743
00:51:11,709 --> 00:51:13,209
A real one.
744
00:51:13,334 --> 00:51:15,876
I wish those guys would come back.
745
00:51:18,001 --> 00:51:19,501
Let's go for a swim.
746
00:51:19,626 --> 00:51:21,542
- Serious?
- Yeah, let's do it.
747
00:51:21,667 --> 00:51:24,251
- No way!
- Come on, it'll be great.
748
00:51:24,376 --> 00:51:26,167
- We'll get wet!
- Yeah!
749
00:51:26,292 --> 00:51:28,584
- You go in.
- You don't think I will?
750
00:51:28,709 --> 00:51:30,584
Go on, then.
751
00:51:34,917 --> 00:51:36,417
What about now?
752
00:51:36,542 --> 00:51:38,584
- I'm still not going in.
- Come on!
753
00:51:38,709 --> 00:51:40,459
- I don't want to.
- Stop thinking!
754
00:51:40,584 --> 00:51:42,709
Come on, it'll be fun.
Don't be such a killjoy.
755
00:51:42,834 --> 00:51:44,542
I said, I don't want to!
756
00:51:51,542 --> 00:51:53,167
Anyway.
757
00:52:05,876 --> 00:52:07,417
Sorry for snapping.
758
00:52:07,542 --> 00:52:09,334
I just don't like water.
759
00:52:10,584 --> 00:52:12,084
Why don't you like water?
760
00:52:12,209 --> 00:52:13,709
I just don't.
761
00:52:17,959 --> 00:52:19,917
Can we just go home? So...
762
00:52:22,001 --> 00:52:23,834
I'm OK. I'm just going to get a cab.
763
00:52:23,959 --> 00:52:25,001
Yeah.
764
00:52:27,501 --> 00:52:29,001
Bye.
765
00:52:49,167 --> 00:52:53,376
People who have one-night stands,
some people have judgement about...
766
00:52:53,501 --> 00:52:57,792
'That's disgusting,
sleeping with someone you don't know.'
767
00:52:57,917 --> 00:52:59,709
Don't you think it's just as disgusting
768
00:52:59,834 --> 00:53:02,126
to sleep with the same person
for 40 years?
769
00:53:02,251 --> 00:53:04,667
'Good morning. You again.'
770
00:53:04,792 --> 00:53:09,709
Performing live in a one-off special,
8pm Sunday night on Seven.
771
00:53:16,292 --> 00:53:18,126
Hello?
772
00:53:18,251 --> 00:53:19,876
Caroline?
773
00:53:20,001 --> 00:53:21,501
Thomas?
774
00:53:22,709 --> 00:53:24,209
How are you?
775
00:53:24,334 --> 00:53:26,292
I've felt better.
776
00:53:27,667 --> 00:53:29,167
Why, what's up?
777
00:53:32,417 --> 00:53:33,959
Do you really want to know this?
778
00:53:34,084 --> 00:53:36,834
Yeah. What happened?
779
00:53:36,959 --> 00:53:41,751
This girl I've been seeing,
we had a bit of a weird fight tonight.
780
00:53:41,876 --> 00:53:45,459
Basically, I didn't want
to do something, she kept pushing me,
781
00:53:45,584 --> 00:53:47,084
and I snapped.
782
00:53:48,542 --> 00:53:50,417
What do you mean, pushing you?
783
00:53:52,251 --> 00:53:55,501
I said
I didn't want to swim in the harbour.
784
00:53:56,834 --> 00:54:00,209
And she just kept going, and...
785
00:54:01,209 --> 00:54:03,542
trying to make me do it,
and I didn't want to.
786
00:54:03,667 --> 00:54:07,334
Maybe she was trying to be romantic.
787
00:54:07,459 --> 00:54:11,001
Yeah, that's what she said,
but I don't like to be pushed.
788
00:54:11,126 --> 00:54:13,542
I've just always had this thing.
789
00:54:14,959 --> 00:54:17,459
I just hate getting wet.
790
00:54:17,584 --> 00:54:19,084
Why?
791
00:54:21,084 --> 00:54:22,584
Well...
792
00:54:22,709 --> 00:54:26,167
when I was a kid,
I remember having a bath...
793
00:54:27,667 --> 00:54:31,792
my old man coming in,
furious about something
794
00:54:31,917 --> 00:54:34,334
and holding my head underwater.
795
00:54:34,459 --> 00:54:37,251
I mean, I don't know what I done wrong.
796
00:54:38,501 --> 00:54:40,251
It's kind of funny though.
797
00:54:40,376 --> 00:54:43,876
Crying and blowing a bubble
at the same time.
798
00:54:44,001 --> 00:54:45,751
That's terrible, Manny.
799
00:54:45,876 --> 00:54:47,584
Yeah, I know. It was terrible, but...
800
00:54:50,501 --> 00:54:53,459
Sorry, what did you...
801
00:54:53,584 --> 00:54:55,501
What did you just call me?
802
00:54:58,251 --> 00:54:59,751
Hello?
803
00:55:16,376 --> 00:55:18,167
Did she call me 'Manny'?
804
00:55:20,251 --> 00:55:21,792
Did I say I was Manny?
805
00:55:27,542 --> 00:55:29,042
How would she know?
806
00:56:10,751 --> 00:56:12,251
Hello?
807
00:56:15,209 --> 00:56:17,501
Caroline? It's Thomas.
808
00:56:20,542 --> 00:56:22,417
Is everything OK?
809
00:56:23,876 --> 00:56:28,334
Well, I just found out something really
weird about the girl I've been seeing.
810
00:56:28,459 --> 00:56:29,959
Mm. What's that?
811
00:56:31,376 --> 00:56:33,626
I don't think she's being honest
with me.
812
00:56:33,751 --> 00:56:37,167
I just feel like
she's not who she says she is.
813
00:56:39,042 --> 00:56:42,792
I guess we're all a bit like that
sometimes, aren't we, Thomas?
814
00:56:42,917 --> 00:56:45,084
No. I'm honest.
815
00:56:46,084 --> 00:56:47,834
I'm sure you are.
816
00:56:47,959 --> 00:56:50,917
Maybe she has reasons
for doing what she does.
817
00:56:51,042 --> 00:56:54,167
Yeah? What reasons?
818
00:57:17,376 --> 00:57:20,334
Yeah, so, meet the woman of your dreams?
819
00:57:20,459 --> 00:57:23,167
I don't want to meet
the woman of my dreams.
820
00:57:23,292 --> 00:57:25,084
I have nightmares.
821
00:57:25,209 --> 00:57:27,167
She's going to have three heads
and a tail,
822
00:57:27,292 --> 00:57:30,417
vomit coming out her eyeballs...
'Aaargh!'
823
00:57:30,542 --> 00:57:33,334
Actually, there's an easy way
to break up with someone.
824
00:57:33,459 --> 00:57:38,751
Next time you're making love to them,
just whisper in their ear, 'Mummy.
825
00:57:38,876 --> 00:57:41,376
You remind me of my mother.'
826
00:57:43,542 --> 00:57:45,209
That'll do the job.
827
00:57:45,334 --> 00:57:49,042
If she stays after that,
then you're in trouble.
828
00:58:11,584 --> 00:58:14,167
When I was a kid, I was having a bath.
829
00:58:15,167 --> 00:58:19,459
I must have done something wrong,
'cause Dad came in all pissed off
830
00:58:19,584 --> 00:58:21,834
and held my head underwater.
831
00:58:21,959 --> 00:58:26,084
I don't know if he was punishing me
or teaching me to swim.
832
00:58:36,376 --> 00:58:38,834
Before he used to belt me,
he used to say, 'Hey, son!'
833
00:58:40,626 --> 00:58:42,126
I'd say, 'Yeah?'
834
00:58:44,376 --> 00:58:46,917
'This is going to hurt me
more than it hurts you.'
835
00:58:47,042 --> 00:58:49,292
I used to think, 'Yeah?
836
00:58:49,417 --> 00:58:52,084
Not unless you miss and hit the chair.'
837
00:58:59,626 --> 00:59:03,501
Before he used to hit me,
he used to test my eyesight.
838
00:59:03,626 --> 00:59:05,251
'See that, son?'
839
00:59:06,542 --> 00:59:08,376
'Yeah, I see it.'
840
00:59:08,501 --> 00:59:10,334
Ah, fuck!
841
00:59:26,917 --> 00:59:29,292
Hi, Manny. It's me.
842
00:59:29,417 --> 00:59:32,001
Would you please call me? I just...
843
00:59:33,334 --> 00:59:34,959
I just want to talk.
844
00:59:38,667 --> 00:59:43,917
♪ I'm like a cripple
that's got an itch to scratch
845
00:59:44,042 --> 00:59:48,042
♪ On a limb that's not there anymore
846
00:59:48,167 --> 00:59:52,334
♪ There's still mud
on our brand-new sheets
847
00:59:52,459 --> 00:59:54,876
♪ I stepped into a puddle
848
00:59:55,001 --> 00:59:58,959
♪ When I saw someone
that looked just like you
849
00:59:59,084 --> 01:00:02,751
♪ I leave the radio on all night
850
01:00:02,876 --> 01:00:08,584
♪ Sooner or later it puts me to sleep
851
01:00:08,709 --> 01:00:16,834
♪ So bring yourself home to me
852
01:00:18,292 --> 01:00:22,626
♪ Bring yourself home... ♪
853
01:00:22,751 --> 01:00:25,001
Hey, say something funny to my cousin.
854
01:00:25,126 --> 01:00:26,626
Fuck off.
855
01:00:26,751 --> 01:00:32,001
♪ Bring yourself home to me
856
01:00:37,751 --> 01:00:42,709
♪ I can't remember what I said,
can't remember what I did
857
01:00:42,834 --> 01:00:47,792
♪ The dishes were still in the sink,
all my clothes were on the bed
858
01:00:47,917 --> 01:00:52,417
♪ You slammed the door
and the rain turned to pins
859
01:00:52,542 --> 01:00:57,751
♪ It gets dark early now, and
the lights aren't on when I come in
860
01:00:57,876 --> 01:01:02,251
♪ I leave the radio on all night
861
01:01:02,376 --> 01:01:07,667
♪ Sooner or later it puts me to sleep
862
01:01:07,792 --> 01:01:14,167
♪ So bring yourself home to me. ♪
863
01:01:14,292 --> 01:01:17,792
You're not listening to me, dog,
but I don't care.
864
01:01:17,917 --> 01:01:20,126
You come when I tell you
or I'll smash you.
865
01:01:22,001 --> 01:01:24,334
You can look away all you like, dog.
866
01:01:24,459 --> 01:01:27,001
I had to go all over the place
looking for you, like a dog.
867
01:01:27,126 --> 01:01:30,084
I'll give you a good belting!
868
01:01:32,042 --> 01:01:33,542
Hey!
869
01:01:37,501 --> 01:01:39,667
What are you doing?
870
01:01:39,792 --> 01:01:41,459
What?
871
01:01:41,584 --> 01:01:44,042
What do you have a dog for,
if you treat it like shit?
872
01:01:44,167 --> 01:01:46,876
It licks my feet, Manny, not yours.
873
01:01:47,001 --> 01:01:50,292
- Don't beat the dog up, you cockhead.
- Wanker!
874
01:01:50,417 --> 01:01:53,292
Doesn't matter. Don't beat your dog up.
What's wrong with you?
875
01:01:53,417 --> 01:01:56,959
- Just stick to your jokes, Manny.
- Don't push me, you dickhead.
876
01:01:57,084 --> 01:01:59,126
What?
877
01:01:59,251 --> 01:02:01,542
Why don't you try me?
878
01:02:03,167 --> 01:02:05,959
It's my dog! Get your fucking own dog.
879
01:02:08,251 --> 01:02:11,042
Why don't you feed the fucking thing?
880
01:02:14,584 --> 01:02:16,459
Oi!
881
01:02:16,584 --> 01:02:18,417
Coppers!
882
01:02:18,542 --> 01:02:21,334
- The cop shop's right there.
- Yeah, well...
883
01:02:21,459 --> 01:02:23,501
- What's going on?
- He punched me in the face.
884
01:02:23,626 --> 01:02:24,876
No, I didn't.
885
01:02:26,501 --> 01:02:28,001
Let's go.
886
01:02:52,792 --> 01:02:54,292
So...
887
01:02:55,376 --> 01:02:57,751
what was going on last night?
888
01:02:57,876 --> 01:03:01,001
It's all over the internet, mate.
It's in the papers.
889
01:03:01,126 --> 01:03:03,167
So what?
890
01:03:03,292 --> 01:03:04,792
People get pissed.
891
01:03:09,667 --> 01:03:13,417
You know
they've all got those camera phones now.
892
01:03:13,542 --> 01:03:15,334
- Everyone's seen it.
- Who cares?
893
01:03:15,459 --> 01:03:16,959
Manny, I care.
894
01:03:18,417 --> 01:03:21,834
And the Americans that I just picked up
from the airport, they care.
895
01:03:21,959 --> 01:03:26,876
And the network that's forking out
a shitload of money for your show care.
896
01:03:27,001 --> 01:03:30,417
As long as I do a funny show,
what's the problem?
897
01:03:30,542 --> 01:03:32,709
OK, I'll tell you the problem.
898
01:03:32,834 --> 01:03:35,959
It's not just about the show, Manny.
899
01:03:36,084 --> 01:03:38,001
I've been on the phone to them
for an hour
900
01:03:38,126 --> 01:03:41,626
trying to convince them that
you're not a total disaster.
901
01:03:41,751 --> 01:03:44,542
I'm sorry
you have to work for your money.
902
01:03:44,667 --> 01:03:49,292
What do you want for 20%?
To shake people's hands,
903
01:03:49,417 --> 01:03:53,626
take your family out for a good time
on the weekend, huh?
904
01:03:54,834 --> 01:03:58,459
Alright, mate,
you're a bit out of control.
905
01:03:58,584 --> 01:04:03,376
All I'm saying is, just try not
to ruin everything while they're here.
906
01:04:03,501 --> 01:04:05,209
Just stay off the piss.
907
01:04:08,709 --> 01:04:10,334
That's rich, coming from you.
908
01:04:11,542 --> 01:04:14,584
At least I'm not drunk
in front of my kid.
909
01:04:19,209 --> 01:04:21,501
I think I might just walk home.
910
01:04:21,626 --> 01:04:23,126
Yeah, good idea.
911
01:05:04,709 --> 01:05:06,459
Hello?
912
01:05:06,584 --> 01:05:08,084
How are you?
913
01:05:09,709 --> 01:05:11,209
Are you home?
914
01:05:12,584 --> 01:05:14,376
Can I come over for a bit?
915
01:05:16,001 --> 01:05:17,501
Righto.
916
01:05:17,626 --> 01:05:19,126
See ya.
917
01:05:39,251 --> 01:05:41,459
What happened to your hand?
918
01:05:45,459 --> 01:05:46,959
I punched a mirror.
919
01:05:49,042 --> 01:05:51,459
Why'd you punch a mirror for?
920
01:05:51,584 --> 01:05:53,084
Pissed off.
921
01:05:55,459 --> 01:05:56,959
What with?
922
01:05:58,959 --> 01:06:01,917
What did you think of me
when I was a kid?
923
01:06:03,209 --> 01:06:05,126
Well, you were a good kid.
924
01:06:06,834 --> 01:06:09,334
You were a funny little bastard.
925
01:06:09,459 --> 01:06:12,584
You used to make me and your mother
laugh.
926
01:06:17,001 --> 01:06:19,376
Why do you want to know that for?
927
01:06:20,792 --> 01:06:23,751
You know I was terrified of you
as a kid?
928
01:06:23,876 --> 01:06:25,376
Were you?
929
01:06:26,417 --> 01:06:27,917
Why?
930
01:06:29,792 --> 01:06:31,292
You used to hit me.
931
01:06:36,792 --> 01:06:39,751
I ain't been thinking about that lately.
932
01:06:45,042 --> 01:06:46,542
Life's been shit.
933
01:06:47,876 --> 01:06:52,334
I've been thinking about
when I was young, for some reason.
934
01:07:03,876 --> 01:07:06,917
Well, I apologise for hitting you, mate.
935
01:07:46,209 --> 01:07:47,251
Alright...
936
01:07:50,876 --> 01:07:52,376
Bye.
937
01:07:56,376 --> 01:07:57,876
Bye, friend.
938
01:08:08,167 --> 01:08:10,126
Where's your girlfriend?
939
01:08:12,417 --> 01:08:14,209
Too hard, Pieter.
940
01:08:14,334 --> 01:08:16,376
What too hard... girl?
941
01:08:16,501 --> 01:08:18,001
Yeah.
942
01:08:23,042 --> 01:08:24,542
Hey, Pieter?
943
01:08:24,667 --> 01:08:26,167
Yeah?
944
01:08:26,292 --> 01:08:28,917
Why do you always give me a beer
when I don't even order one?
945
01:08:29,042 --> 01:08:31,209
I know you. I know your brain.
946
01:08:31,334 --> 01:08:34,334
You think, think, think, never decide.
947
01:08:34,459 --> 01:08:36,417
I give you beer, you drink.
948
01:08:36,542 --> 01:08:39,501
Have beer, have woman.
949
01:08:39,626 --> 01:08:41,501
Don't think.
950
01:09:07,334 --> 01:09:11,251
The number you have dialled
has been disconnected.
951
01:09:23,501 --> 01:09:25,292
Hello, Fantasy Hotline.
952
01:09:25,417 --> 01:09:31,001
Ah, hi. I was
hoping to speak to Caroline, PIN 713?
953
01:09:31,126 --> 01:09:34,167
PIN 713 is no longer with us,
I'm afraid,
954
01:09:34,292 --> 01:09:36,501
but I can put you through
to another lovely lady.
955
01:09:36,626 --> 01:09:40,084
Oh. Well, where'd she go?
956
01:09:40,209 --> 01:09:42,376
I'm sorry, I can't say.
But I can put you through
957
01:09:42,501 --> 01:09:46,042
to another one of our gorgeous girls,
if you'd like to chat with one of them.
958
01:09:46,167 --> 01:09:47,876
No, that's OK. Thanks.
959
01:10:03,001 --> 01:10:04,501
Maria!
960
01:10:06,334 --> 01:10:07,834
Maria!
961
01:10:09,917 --> 01:10:11,751
Manny?
962
01:10:11,876 --> 01:10:14,167
She's gone, Manny.
963
01:10:15,376 --> 01:10:17,501
Do you know where she's going?
964
01:10:17,626 --> 01:10:21,417
Man, she's going on the boat
to South America.
965
01:10:21,542 --> 01:10:23,042
South America?
966
01:10:24,292 --> 01:10:26,292
You didn't know?
967
01:10:26,417 --> 01:10:28,251
No.
968
01:10:28,376 --> 01:10:30,501
They sail tonight.
969
01:10:30,626 --> 01:10:32,626
I'm sorry.
970
01:10:33,917 --> 01:10:37,292
Oh, Manny,
she wanted me to give you something.
971
01:10:43,709 --> 01:10:46,167
Thanks, mate.
972
01:10:46,292 --> 01:10:49,834
Hey, Manny...
good luck for the show tonight.
973
01:10:49,959 --> 01:10:51,667
Thanks, mate. Cheers.
974
01:11:33,167 --> 01:11:36,876
Ladies and gentlemen,
please make your way into the theatre.
975
01:11:37,001 --> 01:11:40,042
Manny Lewis Live will commence shortly.
976
01:11:53,209 --> 01:11:55,626
G'day, mate.
977
01:11:55,751 --> 01:11:59,417
Ah, Joel, this is Manny.
Manny, this is Joel.
978
01:11:59,542 --> 01:12:03,167
- How are you going, Joel?
- I hear you're a funny guy.
979
01:12:03,292 --> 01:12:05,626
That's a great crowd you've got
out there.
980
01:12:05,751 --> 01:12:07,251
Yeah, they're alright.
981
01:12:08,626 --> 01:12:11,042
- Congratulations.
- Well...
982
01:12:11,167 --> 01:12:14,334
if it wasn't for this bloke,
I wouldn't have anything.
983
01:12:14,459 --> 01:12:18,251
I'd still be working on a building site.
So...
984
01:12:18,376 --> 01:12:19,876
thanks, mate.
985
01:12:24,751 --> 01:12:27,459
Well, as they say in the business...
986
01:12:29,209 --> 01:12:32,167
chookers. We'll talk later.
987
01:12:32,292 --> 01:12:34,751
OK! Nice to meet you.
988
01:12:34,876 --> 01:12:36,917
- Got everything?
- Yeah, mate, I'm alright.
989
01:12:37,042 --> 01:12:38,542
- OK.
- Hey, ah...
990
01:12:40,126 --> 01:12:41,751
is the old man in?
991
01:12:41,876 --> 01:12:43,501
No. Sorry, mate.
992
01:12:53,584 --> 01:12:56,042
Two minutes, Mr Lewis.
993
01:12:56,167 --> 01:12:57,667
Yeah, righto.
994
01:13:01,209 --> 01:13:03,751
Right. Let's go be funny.
995
01:13:15,001 --> 01:13:16,834
Live across Australia,
996
01:13:16,959 --> 01:13:19,917
please welcome our very own funnyman,
Manny Lewis.
997
01:13:32,251 --> 01:13:33,751
So, where were we?
998
01:13:35,501 --> 01:13:37,167
Nice to be here. I was just over there,
999
01:13:37,292 --> 01:13:40,001
and it wasn't very nice over there.
It's better over here.
1000
01:13:40,126 --> 01:13:42,459
I hope you laugh tonight.
1001
01:13:42,584 --> 01:13:44,084
I hope you laugh a lot.
1002
01:13:44,209 --> 01:13:47,126
Actually,
I hope a little bit of wee comes out.
1003
01:13:47,251 --> 01:13:48,959
That's a good night.
1004
01:13:49,084 --> 01:13:55,042
You go home... 'How was the show?'
'Look at my pants! Great show.'
1005
01:13:55,167 --> 01:13:58,334
I love performing. I've always
performed, ever since I was a kid.
1006
01:13:58,459 --> 01:14:02,751
I had no choice. My parents used to
get drunk and dress me up.
1007
01:14:02,876 --> 01:14:05,542
We used to have these African nights.
1008
01:14:05,667 --> 01:14:07,584
Mum would take all my clothes off,
1009
01:14:07,709 --> 01:14:11,292
get a lettuce leaf and a bit of string
and wrap it around here.
1010
01:14:11,417 --> 01:14:14,126
'Do the dance.' 'Righto.'
1011
01:14:16,292 --> 01:14:18,376
But I don't like watching performers.
1012
01:14:18,501 --> 01:14:21,292
I went and saw a country singer
the other day, and they shit me.
1013
01:14:21,417 --> 01:14:23,042
Before every song, he'd say,
1014
01:14:23,167 --> 01:14:27,042
'It's a beautiful song, and
it goes a little something like this.'
1015
01:14:27,167 --> 01:14:31,542
I feel like saying, 'Mate,
just play it exactly the way it goes.
1016
01:14:31,667 --> 01:14:34,834
How long have you been playing
that song, and you haven't nailed it?
1017
01:14:34,959 --> 01:14:38,834
You should say, "It's a beautiful song,
and it goes exactly like this."'
1018
01:14:42,376 --> 01:14:47,584
I don't know what 'wrong' is.
It's a funny thing, wrong.
1019
01:14:47,709 --> 01:14:50,251
What's wrong?
1020
01:14:50,376 --> 01:14:53,834
Washing your tea towels
with your underwear?
1021
01:14:56,834 --> 01:15:00,417
I mean, it all gets in the mix.
The soap powder washes it out,
1022
01:15:00,542 --> 01:15:03,209
but it just feels like
I'm drying the dishes with my bum.
1023
01:15:06,834 --> 01:15:08,709
Yeah, but anyway.
1024
01:15:08,834 --> 01:15:10,459
My dad was very precise, you know?
1025
01:15:10,584 --> 01:15:15,251
He said, 'Listen, son,
don't use this in life, use this,'
1026
01:15:15,376 --> 01:15:18,209
which I took to mean,
don't hit people, headbutt them.
1027
01:15:25,584 --> 01:15:28,126
When I was a kid,
walking into the lounge...
1028
01:15:28,251 --> 01:15:32,084
- You alright there?
- Yeah. Go ahead, I'll catch up.
1029
01:15:32,209 --> 01:15:34,334
I was eight.
1030
01:15:37,334 --> 01:15:41,084
When I was a kid,
I was having a bath once.
1031
01:15:45,751 --> 01:15:48,459
I must have done something wrong...
1032
01:15:50,209 --> 01:15:51,709
'cause Dad...
1033
01:15:54,376 --> 01:15:55,876
Dad came in...
1034
01:16:08,542 --> 01:16:11,126
Come on, son. Spit it out!
1035
01:16:21,209 --> 01:16:23,876
People always ask me about the stuff
I do about Dad.
1036
01:16:24,001 --> 01:16:27,417
They say,
'Your father sounds like a hard man.'
1037
01:16:27,542 --> 01:16:30,626
He's probably not as hard as
I make out he is.
1038
01:16:30,751 --> 01:16:32,251
I do love him.
1039
01:16:33,626 --> 01:16:36,501
I probably should leave him alone
for awhile.
1040
01:16:37,667 --> 01:16:39,167
How am I doing, Dad?
1041
01:16:42,001 --> 01:16:43,501
Proud of you, son.
1042
01:16:49,167 --> 01:16:51,167
I'm proud of him.
1043
01:16:51,292 --> 01:16:54,542
Except for the time that
he shit his pants.
1044
01:16:55,751 --> 01:16:57,292
He's making that up.
1045
01:16:59,834 --> 01:17:02,626
I threatened to tell Mum for years...
1046
01:17:05,542 --> 01:17:07,667
but she was doing the same.
1047
01:17:09,792 --> 01:17:13,751
I'd like to sing a song now,
dedicated to a girl.
1048
01:17:13,876 --> 01:17:15,917
It goes exactly like this.
1049
01:17:21,459 --> 01:17:23,001
♪ Met her downstairs
1050
01:17:26,001 --> 01:17:28,792
♪ In the cafe underneath her flat
1051
01:17:37,042 --> 01:17:38,751
♪ She was reading a book
1052
01:17:40,584 --> 01:17:43,917
♪ About some old guy
about to top himself
1053
01:17:49,001 --> 01:17:50,959
♪ She looked kind of lonely
1054
01:17:54,792 --> 01:17:56,751
♪ She looked kind of sad
1055
01:18:01,667 --> 01:18:03,376
♪ The reason that I knew
1056
01:18:07,334 --> 01:18:10,084
♪ These were feelings that I had
1057
01:18:18,876 --> 01:18:20,376
♪ To make her happy
1058
01:18:23,251 --> 01:18:25,667
♪ Is all I wanted to do
1059
01:18:32,917 --> 01:18:35,167
♪ We went out dancing
1060
01:18:35,292 --> 01:18:37,334
♪ Our steps went from 1
1061
01:18:38,584 --> 01:18:40,084
♪ To 2
1062
01:18:44,084 --> 01:18:45,792
♪ The closer that we got
1063
01:18:50,292 --> 01:18:52,084
♪ The more that we forgot
1064
01:18:56,584 --> 01:18:58,376
♪ About all the bad
1065
01:19:02,292 --> 01:19:05,042
♪ Feelings that we had
1066
01:19:09,001 --> 01:19:10,626
♪ I met her downstairs
1067
01:19:12,709 --> 01:19:14,209
♪ In a cafe
1068
01:19:15,376 --> 01:19:17,001
♪ Underneath her flat. ♪
1069
01:19:33,542 --> 01:19:35,042
Thank you.
1070
01:19:45,459 --> 01:19:50,084
Here's to a fantastic performance
and a brilliant career.
1071
01:19:50,209 --> 01:19:54,251
I'm going to make your son a star
in America.
1072
01:19:54,376 --> 01:19:56,042
He's already a star.
1073
01:19:56,167 --> 01:19:58,584
- He certainly is, sir.
- I know.
1074
01:19:58,709 --> 01:20:00,751
OK.
1075
01:20:03,084 --> 01:20:04,584
Sa'ude!
1076
01:20:06,751 --> 01:20:08,251
Brazil!
1077
01:20:08,376 --> 01:20:10,417
Brazil, Maria!
1078
01:20:10,542 --> 01:20:14,709
We're all very happy.
It's going to be a great adventure.
1079
01:20:14,834 --> 01:20:18,001
This is for you to sign.
1080
01:20:18,126 --> 01:20:19,626
Thanks, mate.
1081
01:20:27,584 --> 01:20:32,042
It's, ah, it's everything
we agreed upon, mate. It's fine.
1082
01:20:38,917 --> 01:20:40,417
You cool?
1083
01:20:41,709 --> 01:20:43,417
Yeah.
1084
01:20:48,459 --> 01:20:50,542
Just give me a minute, mate.
1085
01:20:53,876 --> 01:20:55,876
I'll just go have a word.
1086
01:20:56,001 --> 01:20:57,501
Let me, Jimmy.
1087
01:21:00,542 --> 01:21:02,042
We got a problem?
1088
01:21:03,042 --> 01:21:05,917
No, Joel.
I think it's just a bit of cold feet.
1089
01:21:06,042 --> 01:21:07,542
Maria!
1090
01:21:36,709 --> 01:21:38,417
I don't feel good, Dad.
1091
01:21:41,459 --> 01:21:42,959
Listen, son...
1092
01:21:44,792 --> 01:21:47,376
I never did much right in my life.
1093
01:21:48,792 --> 01:21:51,542
Could have been a better father...
1094
01:21:51,667 --> 01:21:53,167
better husband.
1095
01:21:53,292 --> 01:21:55,709
But one thing I can be proud of...
1096
01:21:57,792 --> 01:22:00,834
the day I told your mother I loved her.
1097
01:22:02,001 --> 01:22:03,876
I was scared!
1098
01:22:04,001 --> 01:22:06,084
I thought she'd laugh at me.
1099
01:22:07,584 --> 01:22:09,959
It was the best thing I ever did.
1100
01:22:10,084 --> 01:22:12,626
It gave me everything I have.
1101
01:22:14,876 --> 01:22:16,417
All I'm saying is...
1102
01:22:18,751 --> 01:22:20,542
don't be afraid, son.
1103
01:22:21,917 --> 01:22:23,417
Don't be afraid.
1104
01:22:27,417 --> 01:22:28,917
Thanks, Dad.
1105
01:22:56,709 --> 01:22:59,084
Is everything alright, Jimmy?
1106
01:22:59,209 --> 01:23:01,667
Oh, everything's fine, Joel.
1107
01:23:01,792 --> 01:23:03,417
Let me buy you a drink.
1108
01:23:12,501 --> 01:23:15,209
Cruising Yacht Club, thanks, mate.
1109
01:23:54,376 --> 01:23:55,876
Maria!
1110
01:23:57,292 --> 01:23:58,792
Maria!
1111
01:24:00,126 --> 01:24:01,626
Maria!
1112
01:24:08,917 --> 01:24:10,417
I love you.
1113
01:24:12,042 --> 01:24:13,542
I love you!
1114
01:26:14,001 --> 01:26:17,001
Captions by CSI Australia