1 00:00:02,652 --> 00:00:07,652 2 00:00:39,996 --> 00:00:43,167 Everything looks the same. 3 00:00:44,935 --> 00:00:46,434 Well, that's deceiving, 4 00:00:46,436 --> 00:00:49,373 'cause everything has gotten worse. 5 00:00:56,246 --> 00:00:57,546 I got to check on a bunch of families 6 00:00:57,548 --> 00:00:59,881 that we have in houses. 7 00:00:59,883 --> 00:01:01,482 The city is not housing anybody, 8 00:01:01,484 --> 00:01:05,454 hasn't been housing anybody in, like, five years. 9 00:01:05,456 --> 00:01:09,627 We just had about 22 families at the St. Mark's Church. 10 00:01:09,859 --> 00:01:11,460 I got to figure out the farm. 11 00:01:11,462 --> 00:01:13,428 The city came in the middle of the night 12 00:01:13,430 --> 00:01:15,830 at, like, three in the morning or whatever, 13 00:01:15,832 --> 00:01:17,501 and dug up our farm. 14 00:01:19,370 --> 00:01:23,038 I got ordained online so that I could bury people. 15 00:01:23,040 --> 00:01:27,442 'Cause we literally had, like, four deaths back to back. 16 00:01:27,444 --> 00:01:29,344 I've been fighting for, like, the last couple years 17 00:01:29,346 --> 00:01:31,647 to try and find out what's wrong with your brother. 18 00:01:31,649 --> 00:01:34,482 He's been diagnosed with Asperger's, 19 00:01:34,484 --> 00:01:36,987 which is on the autism spectrum. 20 00:02:06,049 --> 00:02:08,552 Come on, let's take the tour. 21 00:02:11,822 --> 00:02:12,890 All right. 22 00:02:16,627 --> 00:02:20,798 The kitchen, the living room, and your brother's room. 23 00:02:31,040 --> 00:02:34,042 You can take this mattress here, take it downstairs, 24 00:02:34,044 --> 00:02:36,345 put it in Guillermo's room. 25 00:02:36,347 --> 00:02:40,614 And then I also put your blue box in your brother's room. 26 00:02:40,616 --> 00:02:42,550 And all your things are in there. 27 00:02:42,552 --> 00:02:43,554 All right. 28 00:02:44,621 --> 00:02:47,722 You know, I can help you clean up later, anything. 29 00:02:47,724 --> 00:02:50,491 That would be great. 30 00:02:50,493 --> 00:02:53,995 All right. I'm gonna go get set up. 31 00:02:53,997 --> 00:02:56,030 It's good to have you home, honey. 32 00:02:56,032 --> 00:02:57,934 It's good to be home. 33 00:03:45,883 --> 00:03:47,048 Hey! 34 00:03:47,050 --> 00:03:48,920 Come here, man, God. 35 00:03:51,020 --> 00:03:51,988 I love you. 36 00:03:54,925 --> 00:03:56,527 Let me look at you. 37 00:03:57,794 --> 00:04:01,732 My God, you turned into a freaking giant, man! 38 00:04:03,133 --> 00:04:06,567 I dig your hair. 39 00:04:06,569 --> 00:04:07,869 I think I need a haircut. 40 00:04:07,871 --> 00:04:09,603 It looks good to me. 41 00:04:09,605 --> 00:04:11,072 You look like a lumberjack. 42 00:04:11,074 --> 00:04:13,475 All right, thank you. 43 00:04:13,477 --> 00:04:14,108 I know. 44 00:04:14,110 --> 00:04:15,876 I do, don't I? 45 00:04:15,878 --> 00:04:16,711 So what's up? 46 00:04:16,713 --> 00:04:17,512 Tell me everything. 47 00:04:17,514 --> 00:04:18,980 What do you want to know about? 48 00:04:18,982 --> 00:04:20,214 Everything. 49 00:04:20,216 --> 00:04:22,683 What are you into? 50 00:04:22,685 --> 00:04:24,853 Video games, comic books. 51 00:04:24,855 --> 00:04:25,687 Right. 52 00:04:25,689 --> 00:04:26,855 I really like movies. 53 00:04:26,857 --> 00:04:29,490 In fact, one day I hope to make my own. 54 00:04:29,492 --> 00:04:30,392 That's awesome. 55 00:04:30,394 --> 00:04:32,594 I'm sure you'd be incredible at that. 56 00:04:32,596 --> 00:04:34,432 What's up with school? 57 00:04:35,531 --> 00:04:37,868 Honestly, well, I got into 58 00:04:39,802 --> 00:04:42,070 this pretty high and prestigious school. 59 00:04:42,072 --> 00:04:44,139 'Cause I'm pretty smart. 60 00:04:44,141 --> 00:04:47,011 And I really enjoy that aspect of it. 61 00:04:48,077 --> 00:04:50,045 But I'm bullied a lot. 62 00:04:50,047 --> 00:04:51,079 Really? 63 00:04:51,081 --> 00:04:52,247 Yeah, it's okay. 64 00:04:52,249 --> 00:04:55,086 In 5th grade, my first year there, 65 00:04:57,086 --> 00:04:59,187 I was being verbally tormented 66 00:04:59,189 --> 00:05:01,923 by this one kid and his friends. 67 00:05:01,925 --> 00:05:03,658 The teachers really wouldn't do anything, 68 00:05:03,660 --> 00:05:05,793 'cause they just said he was just talking 69 00:05:05,795 --> 00:05:08,863 and not doing anything really bad. 70 00:05:08,865 --> 00:05:10,197 Until the end of the school year, 71 00:05:10,199 --> 00:05:13,067 we were in the boys' locker room. 72 00:05:13,069 --> 00:05:14,902 And he beat me up. 73 00:05:14,904 --> 00:05:15,837 Okay. 74 00:05:15,839 --> 00:05:18,807 I'm a pacifist, so I didn't fight back. 75 00:05:18,809 --> 00:05:20,812 But when I could get up, 76 00:05:21,711 --> 00:05:23,878 I stood up and I screamed at everybody. 77 00:05:23,880 --> 00:05:25,779 'Cause, like, they were saying stuff 78 00:05:25,781 --> 00:05:29,149 like they're going to kill me, I shouldn't be alive, 79 00:05:29,151 --> 00:05:31,051 I shouldn't go to school there. 80 00:05:31,053 --> 00:05:32,856 I got insanely mad. 81 00:05:34,625 --> 00:05:36,524 And I started screaming like 82 00:05:36,526 --> 00:05:40,161 no, I deserve to be here as much as you do. 83 00:05:40,163 --> 00:05:42,230 I'm not weird. 84 00:05:42,232 --> 00:05:44,565 And you're not gonna kill me, I'm gonna kill you. 85 00:05:44,567 --> 00:05:48,738 And then the school forced me to get mandatory therapy. 86 00:05:51,574 --> 00:05:53,909 Not because they were tormenting me, 87 00:05:53,911 --> 00:05:56,844 but because I said I was going to kill them out loud. 88 00:05:56,846 --> 00:05:57,678 Ah. 89 00:05:57,680 --> 00:06:00,048 Yeah. 90 00:06:00,050 --> 00:06:01,015 That sounds really hard. 91 00:06:01,017 --> 00:06:02,284 Mmm hm. 92 00:06:02,286 --> 00:06:04,051 I'm really sorry. 93 00:06:04,053 --> 00:06:06,120 I'm sorry you had to go through that. 94 00:06:06,122 --> 00:06:08,156 Do you tell Mom about what's going on? 95 00:06:08,158 --> 00:06:09,457 We're trying to deal with it. 96 00:06:09,459 --> 00:06:16,298 But Mom's more concerned with my recent diagnosis of Asperger's. 97 00:06:16,300 --> 00:06:17,433 Okay. 98 00:06:17,435 --> 00:06:21,605 With my anger and everything that's been going on, 99 00:06:22,004 --> 00:06:24,072 occasionally I feel suicidal 100 00:06:24,074 --> 00:06:25,973 after some of the stuff they say. 101 00:06:25,975 --> 00:06:26,776 Right. 102 00:06:27,810 --> 00:06:28,976 And occasionally homicidal, 103 00:06:28,978 --> 00:06:32,346 of me wanting to get back at them for the kind of stuff 104 00:06:32,348 --> 00:06:36,084 they do to me with no repercussions whatsoever. 105 00:06:36,086 --> 00:06:39,219 That's why I really like just coming home 106 00:06:39,221 --> 00:06:41,089 and getting away from it all. 107 00:06:41,091 --> 00:06:45,026 That's why I'm very excited for spring break next week. 108 00:06:45,028 --> 00:06:49,200 I really want to get, like, far away from my school. 109 00:06:56,238 --> 00:06:58,173 So where's a good pizza spot? 110 00:06:58,175 --> 00:07:01,177 Over at Joyce, it's down that way. 111 00:07:02,144 --> 00:07:04,980 You ever hang out in this park? 112 00:07:04,982 --> 00:07:06,914 Sometimes, I prefer the inside. 113 00:07:06,916 --> 00:07:10,985 But regardless, I come out here occasionally. 114 00:07:10,987 --> 00:07:12,786 Cool. 115 00:07:12,788 --> 00:07:14,889 Not big for cutting through the grass though. 116 00:07:14,891 --> 00:07:15,856 Why is that? 117 00:07:15,858 --> 00:07:17,324 A lot of dogs come this way. 118 00:07:17,326 --> 00:07:18,329 Ah. 119 00:07:23,634 --> 00:07:26,037 Oh, man, it's nice being out. 120 00:07:26,937 --> 00:07:30,608 Been used to seeing a whole lot of concrete. 121 00:07:37,180 --> 00:07:39,380 So you still don't think I need a haircut? 122 00:07:39,382 --> 00:07:42,283 Maybe, I'll cut it for you. 123 00:07:42,285 --> 00:07:44,922 I don't like those chances. 124 00:07:47,089 --> 00:07:48,656 Umm. 125 00:07:48,658 --> 00:07:50,992 This is like the first real meal that I've eaten. 126 00:07:50,994 --> 00:07:53,161 Why, you didn't like the slop in prison? 127 00:07:53,163 --> 00:07:54,198 No, I didn't. 128 00:07:55,399 --> 00:07:56,565 That's exactly what it was. 129 00:07:56,567 --> 00:07:59,901 It was like they blended up dog and served it to you. 130 00:07:59,903 --> 00:08:02,170 Great conversation to have while we're eating. 131 00:08:02,172 --> 00:08:06,307 Right, sorry, I'll stop talking about it. 132 00:08:06,309 --> 00:08:10,010 What's it like on the outside? 133 00:08:10,012 --> 00:08:11,147 It feels weird. 134 00:08:12,214 --> 00:08:15,115 Kind of feels weird 'cause it feels kind of normal, 135 00:08:15,117 --> 00:08:16,151 you know? 136 00:08:16,153 --> 00:08:18,656 Like I haven't skipped a beat. 137 00:08:21,158 --> 00:08:22,356 But, I don't know. 138 00:08:22,358 --> 00:08:24,224 It also kind of feels like I've been born again, you know? 139 00:08:24,226 --> 00:08:27,796 It's like fresh, everything's fresh. 140 00:08:27,798 --> 00:08:29,363 And then sad. 141 00:08:29,365 --> 00:08:30,298 You know, it's kind of sad. 142 00:08:30,300 --> 00:08:31,399 I got a lot of memories, 143 00:08:31,401 --> 00:08:35,469 a lot of stuff that this neighborhood reminds me of. 144 00:08:35,471 --> 00:08:37,037 Getting pretty metaphysical, aren't you? 145 00:08:37,039 --> 00:08:37,872 Mmm hmm. 146 00:08:37,874 --> 00:08:38,973 What do you think? 147 00:08:38,975 --> 00:08:40,108 Why are we here? 148 00:08:40,110 --> 00:08:41,042 What does this all mean? 149 00:08:41,044 --> 00:08:43,177 I'm 13, so I haven't really figured out 150 00:08:43,179 --> 00:08:46,013 those kind of questions yet. 151 00:08:46,015 --> 00:08:47,815 I do like Plato. 152 00:08:47,817 --> 00:08:48,916 Okay. 153 00:08:48,918 --> 00:08:52,087 I like his theory of, his philosophy of the cave. 154 00:08:52,089 --> 00:08:56,060 Imagine you had three people that were chained in a cave. 155 00:08:56,493 --> 00:08:59,127 And the way they were chained, 156 00:08:59,129 --> 00:09:03,131 they were always looking at one wall of the cave, 157 00:09:03,133 --> 00:09:05,266 and could never move their heads. 158 00:09:05,268 --> 00:09:07,068 So they could never see the other two people 159 00:09:07,070 --> 00:09:10,438 that were there, opposed from hearing them. 160 00:09:10,440 --> 00:09:14,812 Now imagine somebody brought a light into the cave, 161 00:09:16,312 --> 00:09:18,149 and a shadow was cast. 162 00:09:20,250 --> 00:09:21,382 That would blow their mind. 163 00:09:21,384 --> 00:09:24,919 Because at that point, they'd only have seen the wall, 164 00:09:24,921 --> 00:09:27,254 and now there were images on the wall. 165 00:09:27,256 --> 00:09:29,089 And then if you took that a step further 166 00:09:29,091 --> 00:09:32,026 by letting one of them go, and then letting them outside... 167 00:09:32,028 --> 00:09:34,128 What the fuck? Yo. 168 00:09:34,130 --> 00:09:36,765 - Holy shit. - Yo, what's up Mark? 169 00:09:36,767 --> 00:09:38,166 - What's up, Galen? - Man, how you doing, baby? 170 00:09:38,168 --> 00:09:39,133 It's good to see you man. 171 00:09:39,135 --> 00:09:40,002 Oh my God. 172 00:09:40,004 --> 00:09:41,536 What's up, G? How's it going, buddy? 173 00:09:41,538 --> 00:09:43,036 Damn, man. 174 00:09:43,038 --> 00:09:44,204 Yeah, man, it's been a minute, man. 175 00:09:44,206 --> 00:09:45,239 How you been doing? 176 00:09:45,241 --> 00:09:46,174 I've been great, man. 177 00:09:46,176 --> 00:09:47,242 What are you doing around here? 178 00:09:47,244 --> 00:09:48,977 Oh, I work around here. So I'm going to stop and 179 00:09:48,979 --> 00:09:50,377 get something to eat before I shoot home, 180 00:09:50,379 --> 00:09:51,478 you know what I mean? 181 00:09:51,480 --> 00:09:53,046 - Looking good, man. - No, you looking good too, man. 182 00:09:53,048 --> 00:09:54,382 Thank you, bro. Thank you man. 183 00:09:54,384 --> 00:09:55,849 I heard you was holding it down,. 184 00:09:55,851 --> 00:09:58,085 Yeah, you know, I was keeping my head up, man, doing my thing. 185 00:09:58,087 --> 00:10:00,155 Yeah, that's what's up, that's what's up, yeah. 186 00:10:00,157 --> 00:10:01,421 How's the family? 187 00:10:01,423 --> 00:10:03,023 Family's doing good, you know what I mean? 188 00:10:03,025 --> 00:10:05,225 You know, and I got a son now, you know what I mean? 189 00:10:05,227 --> 00:10:06,227 Shit, that's right. 190 00:10:06,229 --> 00:10:08,429 Yeah, he's about to be five, man, 191 00:10:08,431 --> 00:10:09,964 yeah, yeah. 192 00:10:09,966 --> 00:10:12,967 - So it's good seeing you though, man. - Good seeing you too, man. 193 00:10:12,969 --> 00:10:15,136 I've just been hanging out with G here. 194 00:10:15,138 --> 00:10:16,337 Mr. Brainiac. 195 00:10:16,339 --> 00:10:17,305 Yeah. 196 00:10:17,307 --> 00:10:18,839 Yeah. 197 00:10:18,841 --> 00:10:21,508 So, um, you heard from Antoine, you seen Antoine? 198 00:10:21,510 --> 00:10:22,944 No, I ain't seen him yet. 199 00:10:22,946 --> 00:10:25,079 Oh, all right, okay, cool, yeah. 200 00:10:25,081 --> 00:10:27,015 Well, you know, I'm kind of busy, you know what I mean, 201 00:10:27,017 --> 00:10:28,081 I'm about to shoot home and stuff. 202 00:10:28,083 --> 00:10:29,083 So, you know what I mean? 203 00:10:29,085 --> 00:10:30,151 It's good seeing you, man. 204 00:10:30,153 --> 00:10:31,518 You got to hit me up, man, so we can get together. 205 00:10:31,520 --> 00:10:33,954 - Yeah, man, we got to chill. - Yeah, no doubt, no doubt. 206 00:10:33,956 --> 00:10:35,089 All right, G, man, take it easy. 207 00:10:35,091 --> 00:10:36,156 Always a pleasure. 208 00:10:36,158 --> 00:10:37,157 Be well. 209 00:10:37,159 --> 00:10:38,158 No doubt. 210 00:10:38,160 --> 00:10:41,028 Wow, I can't believe his son is five. 211 00:10:41,030 --> 00:10:44,098 Time flies when you're in a cell. 212 00:10:44,100 --> 00:10:45,566 My mind would just be thinking 213 00:10:45,568 --> 00:10:48,169 and thinking and thinking and thinking. 214 00:10:48,171 --> 00:10:52,143 Thinking about everyone, and everything on the outside. 215 00:10:54,177 --> 00:10:55,812 I couldn't sleep. 216 00:10:58,114 --> 00:11:01,181 And so I had to figure out a way 217 00:11:01,183 --> 00:11:03,084 to practice getting to sleep. 218 00:11:03,086 --> 00:11:07,024 How to get out of my mind, and into my heart. 219 00:11:14,297 --> 00:11:15,199 I love you. 220 00:11:18,400 --> 00:11:19,302 Good night. 221 00:11:28,177 --> 00:11:29,911 I'll be right here in the morning. 222 00:11:29,913 --> 00:11:31,546 Motherfucking cop was hanging a U-turn. 223 00:11:32,482 --> 00:11:33,348 And some of these, they're like, 224 00:11:33,350 --> 00:11:35,382 "Yo open." They asked for the license. 225 00:11:35,384 --> 00:11:36,884 They're like "Open the door." 226 00:11:36,886 --> 00:11:37,986 - Oh. - Hey. 227 00:11:37,988 --> 00:11:40,188 This is my son here. 228 00:11:40,190 --> 00:11:41,321 This is Chucky. 229 00:11:41,323 --> 00:11:42,390 Chucky, good to meet you, man. 230 00:11:42,392 --> 00:11:43,992 And this is my man. 231 00:11:43,994 --> 00:11:45,059 - Hey, how's it going? - Smoke. 232 00:11:45,061 --> 00:11:46,227 - Hey Smoke. - Nice to meet you. 233 00:11:46,229 --> 00:11:47,395 - Good to meet you. - Welcome home. 234 00:11:47,397 --> 00:11:49,430 Thank you, guys. 235 00:11:49,432 --> 00:11:51,969 I'm gonna go out for a walk. 236 00:11:54,070 --> 00:11:55,169 I'll be back in a little bit. 237 00:11:55,171 --> 00:11:56,003 Good to meet you. 238 00:11:56,005 --> 00:11:56,671 - Likewise. - Yeah. 239 00:11:56,673 --> 00:11:57,939 - Be safe, man. - I will. 240 00:11:57,941 --> 00:11:58,573 Have a great night. 241 00:11:58,575 --> 00:11:59,473 - You too. - All right. 242 00:11:59,475 --> 00:12:00,307 I love you, Mom. 243 00:12:00,309 --> 00:12:01,376 I love you, too. 244 00:12:01,378 --> 00:12:03,544 All right, so Chucky 245 00:12:03,546 --> 00:12:05,213 Can't tell you all that. 246 00:13:59,261 --> 00:14:00,195 - Yo, Mark! - Yo. 247 00:14:00,197 --> 00:14:02,262 - What's going on, man? - What's up, man? 248 00:14:02,264 --> 00:14:03,131 How you doing, man? 249 00:14:03,133 --> 00:14:04,331 I'm great, man, good to see you. 250 00:14:04,333 --> 00:14:06,467 Good to see you too, man, almost didn't recognize you. 251 00:14:06,469 --> 00:14:07,300 Is Antoine here? 252 00:14:07,302 --> 00:14:08,136 Yeah, he's here man. 253 00:14:08,138 --> 00:14:09,103 Okay. 254 00:14:09,105 --> 00:14:10,037 He's, uh, doing his music. 255 00:14:10,039 --> 00:14:11,406 He's, uh, rapping right now, so. 256 00:14:11,408 --> 00:14:12,239 Oh, great. 257 00:14:12,241 --> 00:14:13,241 You know, be quiet, 258 00:14:13,243 --> 00:14:15,042 and we'll let him know that everything's cool. 259 00:14:15,044 --> 00:14:17,210 ♪ 'Cause money make the world go 'round 260 00:14:17,212 --> 00:14:20,214 ♪ 'Cause money make the world go 'round 261 00:14:20,216 --> 00:14:21,516 What? Get the... 262 00:14:21,518 --> 00:14:22,418 For real. 263 00:14:24,254 --> 00:14:25,085 What the fuck? 264 00:14:25,087 --> 00:14:25,719 Yo. 265 00:14:25,721 --> 00:14:27,421 Yo. 266 00:14:27,423 --> 00:14:28,256 Yo! 267 00:14:28,258 --> 00:14:30,090 Yo, shit! 268 00:14:30,092 --> 00:14:30,858 What's up, baby? 269 00:14:30,860 --> 00:14:32,259 - How are you? - My fucking boy. 270 00:14:32,261 --> 00:14:33,161 What's up? 271 00:14:33,163 --> 00:14:34,630 What's up, man? 272 00:14:39,335 --> 00:14:40,468 Huh? 273 00:14:40,470 --> 00:14:41,102 This is dope. 274 00:14:41,104 --> 00:14:43,340 You like that? 275 00:14:47,509 --> 00:14:48,675 Damn, my man. 276 00:14:48,677 --> 00:14:49,243 Out here. 277 00:14:49,245 --> 00:14:50,243 Yeah, I know. 278 00:14:50,245 --> 00:14:51,813 Here, put that up for yourself. 279 00:14:51,815 --> 00:14:53,513 Oh, good luck, man. 280 00:14:53,515 --> 00:14:54,681 - Appreciate it, man. - Something light, man, 281 00:14:54,683 --> 00:14:56,084 a little starter kit, man, you know? 282 00:14:56,086 --> 00:14:57,151 Thank you, thank you. 283 00:14:57,153 --> 00:14:58,319 Get you a phone and all that. 284 00:14:58,321 --> 00:14:59,554 Mm, mm-hm. 285 00:14:59,556 --> 00:15:01,354 We'll talk about the rest later, you know what I'm saying? 286 00:15:01,356 --> 00:15:03,223 Fill you in, man. 287 00:15:03,225 --> 00:15:04,358 So what's up, man? 288 00:15:04,360 --> 00:15:05,195 Hmm. 289 00:15:07,363 --> 00:15:10,565 You know, just walking around, man. 290 00:15:10,567 --> 00:15:11,465 Taking everything in. 291 00:15:11,467 --> 00:15:14,569 Just trying to stay present, you know? 292 00:15:14,571 --> 00:15:15,270 I know, right? 293 00:15:15,272 --> 00:15:16,304 Breathe the air and shit, right? 294 00:15:16,306 --> 00:15:17,271 Mmm hmm, just stay... 295 00:15:17,273 --> 00:15:18,406 See the trees and all that. 296 00:15:18,408 --> 00:15:20,177 Yeah, man. 297 00:15:21,811 --> 00:15:25,179 Yeah, look, um, real shit man. 298 00:15:25,181 --> 00:15:29,153 Like I know shit could have went any other way, man. 299 00:15:30,153 --> 00:15:33,286 You took a nice hit for us, man. 300 00:15:33,288 --> 00:15:36,357 A lot of dudes would have broke under that pressure, man. 301 00:15:36,359 --> 00:15:38,859 It would be no that without you. 302 00:15:38,861 --> 00:15:41,262 We definitely want to commend you for that, man. 303 00:15:41,264 --> 00:15:42,229 You know what I'm saying? 304 00:15:42,231 --> 00:15:43,230 Yeah, no, man, it's all good, you know? 305 00:15:43,232 --> 00:15:44,065 Yeah, no doubt. 306 00:15:44,067 --> 00:15:45,432 I don't expect shit, man, you know? 307 00:15:45,434 --> 00:15:46,233 No doubt. 308 00:15:46,235 --> 00:15:47,102 I'd do that any other time, man. 309 00:15:47,104 --> 00:15:48,603 You always don't want nothing, huh? 310 00:15:48,605 --> 00:15:50,537 You just is you know I mean? 311 00:15:50,539 --> 00:15:51,772 No, I'm good, you know? 312 00:15:51,774 --> 00:15:53,406 - You... - I'm just... 313 00:15:53,408 --> 00:15:55,408 No, I'm good. 314 00:15:55,410 --> 00:15:57,744 I mean this is, you know. 315 00:15:57,746 --> 00:15:58,778 Ah, no, man. 316 00:15:58,780 --> 00:16:00,214 This is gonna help. 317 00:16:00,216 --> 00:16:01,181 Damn! 318 00:16:01,183 --> 00:16:04,288 Yo, remember Cancun? 319 00:16:20,169 --> 00:16:21,437 Freeze! 320 00:16:27,543 --> 00:16:28,478 You okay? 321 00:16:30,179 --> 00:16:31,214 Yeah. 322 00:16:34,250 --> 00:16:36,552 I was just having a bad dream. 323 00:16:47,263 --> 00:16:50,234 I got to get ready for school. 324 00:17:16,259 --> 00:17:17,290 Honey! 325 00:17:17,292 --> 00:17:18,226 Hmm? 326 00:17:18,228 --> 00:17:20,228 You got to get up, hon. 327 00:17:20,230 --> 00:17:21,261 Get up. 328 00:17:21,263 --> 00:17:21,898 I'm up. 329 00:17:22,833 --> 00:17:23,797 We got to get going, come on. 330 00:17:23,799 --> 00:17:26,299 All right, well, I got to meditate first. 331 00:17:26,301 --> 00:17:27,735 Honey, we don't have time for that. 332 00:17:27,737 --> 00:17:29,003 Let's get going. 333 00:17:29,005 --> 00:17:29,836 What? 334 00:17:29,838 --> 00:17:30,537 I promised Sister Margaret 335 00:17:30,539 --> 00:17:31,538 we'd be there by nine o'clock. 336 00:17:31,540 --> 00:17:33,841 I also need to take you around the neighborhood. 337 00:17:33,843 --> 00:17:35,276 Can I shower? 338 00:17:35,278 --> 00:17:38,582 No, we don't have time for that. 339 00:17:39,781 --> 00:17:41,350 Come on, get going. 340 00:17:42,785 --> 00:17:43,584 Please, honey? 341 00:17:43,586 --> 00:17:45,786 - Yes, stop talking. - All right. 342 00:17:45,788 --> 00:17:48,288 You don't have to be like that. 343 00:17:48,290 --> 00:17:49,623 No, whenever you have crazy news, I like... 344 00:17:49,625 --> 00:17:52,660 No, no, it's really, it's good crazy news. 345 00:17:52,662 --> 00:17:54,961 But it's gonna be like really hard. 346 00:17:54,963 --> 00:17:57,733 I'm running for Vice President. 347 00:18:01,337 --> 00:18:04,404 I thought for sure when Jill first called me... 348 00:18:04,406 --> 00:18:05,373 Who's Jill? 349 00:18:05,375 --> 00:18:07,040 Jill Stein, she's from the Green Party. 350 00:18:07,042 --> 00:18:08,409 And... 351 00:18:08,411 --> 00:18:09,043 Wait. 352 00:18:09,045 --> 00:18:10,244 I'm totally serious. 353 00:18:10,246 --> 00:18:10,878 You're running for Vice President of the United States? 354 00:18:10,880 --> 00:18:11,946 I'm running for 355 00:18:11,948 --> 00:18:14,282 Vice President of the United States of America. 356 00:18:14,284 --> 00:18:17,852 Massive amounts of more speaking engagements. 357 00:18:17,854 --> 00:18:20,688 It means much more problems 358 00:18:20,690 --> 00:18:23,923 with political police in my life. 359 00:18:23,925 --> 00:18:24,924 - Yeah. - It means problems 360 00:18:24,926 --> 00:18:27,730 with the IRS, the CIA, the FBI. 361 00:18:29,065 --> 00:18:30,765 Great. 362 00:18:30,767 --> 00:18:32,299 Maybe you can get me a job? 363 00:18:32,301 --> 00:18:33,334 Hmm. A job? 364 00:18:33,336 --> 00:18:35,803 That's a different story. 365 00:18:35,805 --> 00:18:37,037 Well, I need a fucking job. 366 00:18:37,039 --> 00:18:39,840 Honey, everybody needs a job. 367 00:18:39,842 --> 00:18:41,374 In your neighborhood here, 368 00:18:41,376 --> 00:18:44,879 the number one source of income is welfare. 369 00:18:44,881 --> 00:18:47,480 The second number one source of income is drugs. 370 00:18:47,482 --> 00:18:49,653 Nobody's got a job, honey. 371 00:18:52,020 --> 00:18:53,653 Guess who's back? 372 00:18:53,655 --> 00:18:55,323 Hey. 373 00:18:55,325 --> 00:18:56,757 Hi. 374 00:18:56,759 --> 00:18:58,025 Long time no see. 375 00:18:58,027 --> 00:18:58,825 Mark! 376 00:18:58,827 --> 00:19:00,995 How you doing? 377 00:19:00,997 --> 00:19:01,929 Good to see you. 378 00:19:01,931 --> 00:19:02,763 Welcome back home. 379 00:19:02,765 --> 00:19:03,596 Thank you so much. 380 00:19:03,598 --> 00:19:04,565 It's great to be home. 381 00:19:04,567 --> 00:19:06,467 She's been so good to Guillermo. 382 00:19:06,469 --> 00:19:07,168 Yeah, you have? 383 00:19:07,170 --> 00:19:08,401 I thought you were locked up. 384 00:19:08,403 --> 00:19:09,903 Do you remember my son? 385 00:19:09,905 --> 00:19:11,805 - Is this your son? - Yeah, they both home. - How you doing, man? 386 00:19:11,807 --> 00:19:12,972 What's up? Good to see you, man. 387 00:19:12,974 --> 00:19:14,441 - Okay, congratulations. - They both home. 388 00:19:14,443 --> 00:19:15,110 Thank you. 389 00:19:15,112 --> 00:19:16,009 How much time did you do? 390 00:19:16,011 --> 00:19:17,344 Well, I did 18 years. 391 00:19:17,346 --> 00:19:17,978 18 years? 392 00:19:17,980 --> 00:19:19,013 Yeah. 393 00:19:19,015 --> 00:19:20,081 Mmm hmm. 394 00:19:20,083 --> 00:19:20,948 When you're dealing with addiction and issues, 395 00:19:20,950 --> 00:19:21,782 Mmm hmm. 396 00:19:21,784 --> 00:19:23,383 it's like a double bubble butt. 397 00:19:23,385 --> 00:19:26,019 Both my parents died from addiction. 398 00:19:26,021 --> 00:19:28,689 They both OD'd and died. 399 00:19:28,691 --> 00:19:29,690 Yeah. 400 00:19:29,692 --> 00:19:32,826 My mom had three other guys OD and die on her. 401 00:19:32,828 --> 00:19:36,430 It took me in bad places, losing jobs, 402 00:19:36,432 --> 00:19:39,767 getting locked up, being homeless. 403 00:19:39,769 --> 00:19:42,803 And the crazy thing is, I kept going back for it 404 00:19:42,805 --> 00:19:46,977 knowing the consequences that was coming for it, you know? 405 00:19:48,044 --> 00:19:49,646 I OD'd eight times. 406 00:19:50,712 --> 00:19:53,080 I still went right back for it. 407 00:19:53,082 --> 00:19:53,913 I started using drugs 408 00:19:53,915 --> 00:19:56,816 at the age of 16 years old, you know. 409 00:19:56,818 --> 00:19:58,020 And I'm 54 today. 410 00:19:59,255 --> 00:20:03,393 But I came in because my life was completely unmanageable. 411 00:20:04,126 --> 00:20:06,760 I didn't hurt anybody outside of my family. 412 00:20:06,762 --> 00:20:09,130 I always hurt my family, you know. 413 00:20:09,132 --> 00:20:10,930 I was stealing from my family. 414 00:20:10,932 --> 00:20:13,767 So you can't find employment because you got felonies? 415 00:20:13,769 --> 00:20:15,035 Yeah I got a few felonies. 416 00:20:15,037 --> 00:20:16,903 Mmm hmm. 417 00:20:16,905 --> 00:20:18,939 Like I came from a suburban area. 418 00:20:18,941 --> 00:20:19,806 Mmm hmm. 419 00:20:19,808 --> 00:20:21,642 They look at me so different now. 420 00:20:21,644 --> 00:20:22,276 Mmm hmm. 421 00:20:22,278 --> 00:20:23,744 Like I'm a piece of gum 422 00:20:23,746 --> 00:20:26,713 stuck under the table type, you know? 423 00:20:26,715 --> 00:20:28,481 Well, I've seen you over the weeks, 424 00:20:28,483 --> 00:20:30,785 and you look like you're really progressing. 425 00:20:30,787 --> 00:20:31,619 Thank you. 426 00:20:31,621 --> 00:20:32,788 The shy guy? 427 00:20:33,990 --> 00:20:35,422 Um, my name Lloyd. 428 00:20:35,424 --> 00:20:37,024 - Oh, God. - Recovery name is Lloyd. 429 00:20:37,026 --> 00:20:38,625 Hey, Lloyd. 430 00:20:38,627 --> 00:20:40,094 You know, and I'm in this process. 431 00:20:40,096 --> 00:20:41,996 You know, I'm from Baltimore. 432 00:20:41,998 --> 00:20:42,999 And me too, 433 00:20:45,134 --> 00:20:49,005 like in and out of prison and stuff like that. 434 00:20:51,207 --> 00:20:54,076 You know, I had 10 years before. 435 00:20:55,076 --> 00:20:59,449 But I didn't use the tools that I know now to stay clean. 436 00:21:03,019 --> 00:21:07,156 It's a struggle when you come home from prison. 437 00:21:07,957 --> 00:21:09,722 And doing a lot of time. 438 00:21:09,724 --> 00:21:11,892 It's so hard to adapt before you... 439 00:21:11,894 --> 00:21:12,927 How much time did you do? 440 00:21:12,929 --> 00:21:16,564 Altogether I did, like, 19 years all, total. 441 00:21:16,566 --> 00:21:18,164 And you're only 19, right? 442 00:21:18,166 --> 00:21:19,232 Heh. 443 00:21:19,234 --> 00:21:21,035 Politicians give you this great song and dance 444 00:21:21,037 --> 00:21:22,937 in front of the cameras. 445 00:21:22,939 --> 00:21:24,238 When the cameras go off, 446 00:21:24,240 --> 00:21:26,105 you're right back in the same reality. 447 00:21:26,107 --> 00:21:28,709 In Pennsylvania, they spent more money on prisons 448 00:21:28,711 --> 00:21:30,611 than they did on schools. 449 00:21:30,613 --> 00:21:32,516 In your short 86 years, 450 00:21:33,182 --> 00:21:35,716 what would you say are some of the magic 451 00:21:35,718 --> 00:21:38,786 to trying to exist in this war zone? 452 00:21:38,788 --> 00:21:41,055 Well, to be alive is to be aware, they say. 453 00:21:41,057 --> 00:21:42,623 Mmm hmm. 454 00:21:42,625 --> 00:21:43,724 And... 455 00:21:43,726 --> 00:21:46,526 So you don't think there's a lot of aware people? 456 00:21:46,528 --> 00:21:48,128 I think that's very true. 457 00:21:48,130 --> 00:21:49,328 Mmm. 458 00:21:49,330 --> 00:21:50,965 Basic to addiction is unawareness 459 00:21:50,967 --> 00:21:52,600 of what life is all about. 460 00:21:52,602 --> 00:21:53,700 So why... 461 00:21:53,702 --> 00:21:56,170 I learned a lot about recovery when I was in jail. 462 00:21:56,172 --> 00:22:00,544 Because everybody in the jail cell with me was an addict. 463 00:22:01,143 --> 00:22:02,942 And they were always talking about 464 00:22:02,944 --> 00:22:05,513 what they were gonna do as soon as they got out of there. 465 00:22:05,515 --> 00:22:07,981 And would start their whole cycle over again, 466 00:22:07,983 --> 00:22:08,949 which is going to bring them 467 00:22:08,951 --> 00:22:10,784 right back where they were then. 468 00:22:10,786 --> 00:22:12,719 You got to have a strong mind. 469 00:22:12,721 --> 00:22:16,893 And I was set on getting clean and staying clean. 470 00:22:18,124 --> 00:22:21,096 I now have six years, nine months and four days clean. 471 00:22:21,663 --> 00:22:22,596 Congratulations. 472 00:22:22,598 --> 00:22:26,135 God works in mysterious ways, you know? 473 00:22:28,003 --> 00:22:30,606 It's a good feeling being here. 474 00:22:33,875 --> 00:22:35,042 Who brought us all together? 475 00:22:35,044 --> 00:22:37,277 God grant me the serenity 476 00:22:37,279 --> 00:22:40,146 to accept the things I cannot change, 477 00:22:40,148 --> 00:22:42,549 the courage to change the things I can, 478 00:22:42,551 --> 00:22:44,718 and the wisdom to know the difference. 479 00:22:44,720 --> 00:22:47,287 God's will, not ours be done. 480 00:22:47,289 --> 00:22:49,256 - What's up, man? - What's up my dude? - What's up, Hec? 481 00:22:49,258 --> 00:22:51,225 - How you doing, man? - Good, man, I'm doing good. How you doing? 482 00:22:51,227 --> 00:22:53,626 - I'm good, man, good to see you. - Good to see you, too, man. 483 00:22:53,628 --> 00:22:56,029 - Yeah, man. - What do you know? - Yeah, been a minute. 484 00:22:56,031 --> 00:22:57,765 So how long you gonna be in town? 485 00:22:57,767 --> 00:22:59,566 I'm here, man, I'm back now, yeah. 486 00:22:59,568 --> 00:23:00,934 Assad! 487 00:23:00,936 --> 00:23:01,803 This is my son, Mark. 488 00:23:01,805 --> 00:23:03,136 Mark, I've heard so much about you. 489 00:23:03,138 --> 00:23:04,604 Yeah, hey man, nice to meet you. 490 00:23:04,606 --> 00:23:05,706 It's nice to meet you, too. 491 00:23:05,708 --> 00:23:07,074 Yeah, thanks for having us. 492 00:23:07,076 --> 00:23:08,142 He just came home from prison. 493 00:23:08,144 --> 00:23:09,043 I know. 494 00:23:09,045 --> 00:23:11,045 How's it been to be back in real life? 495 00:23:11,047 --> 00:23:12,211 It feels good, man, feels really good. 496 00:23:12,213 --> 00:23:13,146 The yard is just bigger. 497 00:23:13,148 --> 00:23:13,980 Watch yourself, though. 498 00:23:13,982 --> 00:23:15,015 Yeah, that's true. 499 00:23:15,017 --> 00:23:16,749 I spent half my life there, 500 00:23:16,751 --> 00:23:19,053 until I decided, you know what? 501 00:23:19,055 --> 00:23:21,354 Nothing I do is worth that. 502 00:23:21,356 --> 00:23:22,590 Mmm hmm. 503 00:23:22,592 --> 00:23:23,958 Nothing. 504 00:23:23,960 --> 00:23:25,124 You know, people always use the excuse, 505 00:23:25,126 --> 00:23:26,160 "Well, I have my family. 506 00:23:26,162 --> 00:23:27,861 "Who's feeding them while you're in the box?" 507 00:23:27,863 --> 00:23:29,596 Yeah. - And that's what you got to do. 508 00:23:29,598 --> 00:23:31,297 Because the system wants you to go back. 509 00:23:31,299 --> 00:23:32,165 Mmm hmm. 510 00:23:32,167 --> 00:23:35,137 They've already got a bed waiting. 511 00:23:36,238 --> 00:23:38,037 You know I don't know shit about cars. 512 00:23:38,039 --> 00:23:39,974 But, I mean, I can clean up. 513 00:23:39,976 --> 00:23:42,209 I can organize tools. 514 00:23:42,211 --> 00:23:44,914 I can be your maid, anything. 515 00:23:48,250 --> 00:23:52,622 So I heard you was down with Mo. 516 00:23:53,021 --> 00:23:54,822 Yeah. 517 00:23:54,824 --> 00:23:56,923 Okay, how is everything? 518 00:23:56,925 --> 00:23:58,992 He's doing all right, you know. 519 00:23:58,994 --> 00:24:00,061 Keeping his head up. 520 00:24:00,063 --> 00:24:01,128 Me and my mom threw something on his commissary 521 00:24:01,130 --> 00:24:03,663 before we took off. 522 00:24:03,665 --> 00:24:05,766 You know how hard it is for him 523 00:24:05,768 --> 00:24:09,873 to try to find work out here with his record now. 524 00:24:11,207 --> 00:24:15,579 And I know this must be like, hard, knowing that, 525 00:24:15,877 --> 00:24:19,348 you know, Mo's still locked up and he's out. 526 00:24:22,218 --> 00:24:24,317 And I know now too, with, you know, 527 00:24:24,319 --> 00:24:28,692 the passing of your mom, trying to keep it all together. 528 00:24:35,230 --> 00:24:36,430 I don't know how you do it. 529 00:24:36,432 --> 00:24:38,832 Well, you got to keep your head above water, you know? 530 00:24:38,834 --> 00:24:41,101 You got to keep surviving, you know? 531 00:24:41,103 --> 00:24:42,402 That's all to it. 532 00:24:42,404 --> 00:24:45,139 Life goes on, so you must continue. 533 00:24:45,141 --> 00:24:45,972 Yeah. 534 00:24:45,974 --> 00:24:49,209 Anything at all that you want us to 535 00:24:49,211 --> 00:24:50,811 - do for you. - Yeah, yeah. 536 00:24:50,813 --> 00:24:51,644 I love you. 537 00:24:51,646 --> 00:24:53,279 I love you, too. 538 00:24:53,281 --> 00:24:54,782 Always care about you guys. 539 00:24:54,784 --> 00:24:56,850 So, you know, I mean loaning helping hand 540 00:24:56,852 --> 00:24:58,922 is always good, you know? 541 00:24:59,954 --> 00:25:00,789 So, mmm. 542 00:25:02,991 --> 00:25:05,324 I'll try to send him some more money. 543 00:25:05,326 --> 00:25:07,094 It's okay. 544 00:25:07,096 --> 00:25:07,928 You know? 545 00:25:07,930 --> 00:25:09,065 We all try hard. 546 00:25:12,034 --> 00:25:13,834 To look out for one another, you know? 547 00:25:13,836 --> 00:25:15,869 That's what it is all about. 548 00:25:15,871 --> 00:25:17,770 Looking out for one another. 549 00:25:17,772 --> 00:25:20,239 What about if you come at seven a.m. sharp 550 00:25:20,241 --> 00:25:22,142 and get started? 551 00:25:22,144 --> 00:25:23,009 She don't play. 552 00:25:23,011 --> 00:25:25,045 If you're not here at seven o'clock, 553 00:25:25,047 --> 00:25:27,250 you ain't gonna keep the job. 554 00:25:29,751 --> 00:25:32,318 Hey Mom, I'm gonna walk back. 555 00:25:32,320 --> 00:25:35,389 Got to get a phone and a couple other things. 556 00:25:35,391 --> 00:25:37,024 You have more money? 557 00:25:37,026 --> 00:25:37,990 Yeah. 558 00:25:37,992 --> 00:25:39,061 From where? 559 00:25:40,462 --> 00:25:41,297 Antoine. 560 00:25:45,101 --> 00:25:46,400 It's cool, it's fine. 561 00:25:46,402 --> 00:25:49,169 You got nothing to worry about. 562 00:25:49,171 --> 00:25:51,371 Please don't be stupid. 563 00:25:51,373 --> 00:25:52,238 I won't. 564 00:25:52,240 --> 00:25:53,076 I'm not. 565 00:26:05,019 --> 00:26:06,186 Who's this? 566 00:26:06,188 --> 00:26:07,153 Who do you think, man? 567 00:26:07,155 --> 00:26:09,155 Holy shit, what up, bud? 568 00:26:09,959 --> 00:26:11,324 I can't believe they let you out. 569 00:26:11,326 --> 00:26:12,860 Yeah, save this number. 570 00:26:12,862 --> 00:26:13,927 Okay, sick, man. 571 00:26:13,929 --> 00:26:15,062 Welcome home, man. 572 00:26:15,064 --> 00:26:15,763 How you feeling? 573 00:26:15,765 --> 00:26:17,363 Freezing my ass off right now. 574 00:26:17,365 --> 00:26:20,133 But other than that, man, I'm happy. 575 00:26:20,135 --> 00:26:21,134 Yeah, yeah. 576 00:26:21,136 --> 00:26:24,740 Yeah, so what's this fucking thing tonight? 577 00:26:57,405 --> 00:26:58,474 What is it? 578 00:26:59,375 --> 00:27:01,240 It's your name, Little G. 579 00:27:01,242 --> 00:27:03,844 My name's Guillermo, but close enough. 580 00:27:03,846 --> 00:27:05,179 Are you serious? 581 00:27:05,181 --> 00:27:08,282 Dude, I just got your name tattooed on me. 582 00:27:08,284 --> 00:27:10,116 Good job. 583 00:27:10,118 --> 00:27:12,221 Anyway, check this out. 584 00:27:14,490 --> 00:27:18,091 Now, I know you said how much you want to make movies. 585 00:27:18,093 --> 00:27:19,125 Mmm hmm. 586 00:27:19,127 --> 00:27:19,962 So... 587 00:27:21,963 --> 00:27:23,430 check it out. 588 00:27:23,432 --> 00:27:26,336 Figured you could start right away. 589 00:27:27,435 --> 00:27:31,073 Yeah, it's one of those new like HD ones. 590 00:27:41,083 --> 00:27:42,085 You like it? 591 00:27:46,555 --> 00:27:49,222 What you doing? 592 00:27:49,224 --> 00:27:50,958 For this freaking welcome home party 593 00:27:50,960 --> 00:27:53,392 I'm trying to decide between these three t-shirts. 594 00:27:53,394 --> 00:27:55,094 I got pink one. 595 00:27:55,096 --> 00:27:56,932 Mmm hmm. 596 00:27:59,101 --> 00:28:00,100 Wolf one. 597 00:28:00,102 --> 00:28:01,805 Mmm. 598 00:28:03,137 --> 00:28:06,573 Or I'm 2 Blessed To Be Stressed. 599 00:28:06,575 --> 00:28:08,074 All right, I think it's definitely 600 00:28:08,076 --> 00:28:10,043 between the wolf and the pink. 601 00:28:10,045 --> 00:28:12,148 Oh, and what about... 602 00:28:14,916 --> 00:28:17,153 I'm wearing these bad boys. 603 00:28:18,119 --> 00:28:19,186 What do you think? 604 00:28:19,188 --> 00:28:20,219 I think you're crazy, 605 00:28:20,221 --> 00:28:21,388 but you should totally do it. 606 00:28:21,390 --> 00:28:22,225 My man. 607 00:28:23,358 --> 00:28:26,526 Fuck. 608 00:28:26,528 --> 00:28:30,900 This is like you're dropping me off at fucking prom, 609 00:28:31,232 --> 00:28:33,569 except I never went to prom. 610 00:28:49,050 --> 00:28:49,682 Welcome home! 611 00:28:49,684 --> 00:28:51,317 Thank you. 612 00:28:51,319 --> 00:28:52,353 - Welcome back. This is Mark. - Nice to finally meet you. 613 00:28:52,355 --> 00:28:54,287 - Yeah, right? - Nice to meet you, too. - Yeah. 614 00:28:54,289 --> 00:28:55,122 - Pleasure. - Bro. 615 00:28:55,124 --> 00:28:56,189 What's up, homey? 616 00:28:56,191 --> 00:28:57,391 - Hey man. - Good to see you, too. 617 00:28:58,326 --> 00:29:00,563 Who got me the balloons? 618 00:29:01,963 --> 00:29:03,529 Neighborhood's changing like crazy, you know? 619 00:29:03,531 --> 00:29:05,032 Condos all through the hood. 620 00:29:05,034 --> 00:29:06,199 Construction every block. 621 00:29:06,201 --> 00:29:07,366 Yeah, and it's all ugly. 622 00:29:07,368 --> 00:29:08,200 The Soupery. 623 00:29:08,202 --> 00:29:10,036 There's a Soupery under the El. 624 00:29:10,038 --> 00:29:10,904 What's Soupery? 625 00:29:10,906 --> 00:29:11,805 It's a soup spot that's biting off 626 00:29:11,807 --> 00:29:12,773 another soup spot that's a fish tank. 627 00:29:12,775 --> 00:29:15,308 Going to the El is like fancy restaurants. 628 00:29:15,310 --> 00:29:16,343 Across from the El Bar. 629 00:29:16,345 --> 00:29:17,678 It's not a hooker bar anymore. 630 00:29:17,680 --> 00:29:21,081 Life was like, it was very, very, very hard. 631 00:29:21,083 --> 00:29:22,282 That's why I joke around a lot. 632 00:29:22,284 --> 00:29:26,623 'Cause my life has been, that would be the title, hard. 633 00:29:27,088 --> 00:29:28,455 Not a good title. 634 00:29:28,457 --> 00:29:31,227 Okay. 635 00:29:32,060 --> 00:29:34,196 I was raised by my mom. 636 00:29:35,596 --> 00:29:39,969 And she had a relationship with a man that was very violent. 637 00:29:42,136 --> 00:29:45,104 And beat the crap out of her 638 00:29:45,106 --> 00:29:48,110 on a daily basis for her whole life. 639 00:29:49,310 --> 00:29:53,148 This bastard wouldn't just beat my mom, right? 640 00:29:54,148 --> 00:29:57,185 He beat the hell out of all of us. 641 00:29:58,252 --> 00:30:00,988 All my ribs were broken. 642 00:30:00,990 --> 00:30:04,157 Um, you know, other kids have earliest memories 643 00:30:04,159 --> 00:30:05,257 of birthday cakes. 644 00:30:05,259 --> 00:30:07,160 Mine was the hospital. 645 00:30:07,162 --> 00:30:08,661 - You? - Yes, to Mark. 646 00:30:08,663 --> 00:30:10,063 Welcome home, Mark. 647 00:30:10,065 --> 00:30:11,131 This one's for you, buddy. 648 00:30:11,133 --> 00:30:14,170 Thank you, thank you, thank you. 649 00:30:18,207 --> 00:30:20,109 Roc, you got a cigarette? 650 00:30:40,729 --> 00:30:42,398 You're really cute. 651 00:30:50,571 --> 00:30:53,008 Right back at you. 652 00:31:00,615 --> 00:31:01,550 - Yo. - Yo. 653 00:31:02,417 --> 00:31:04,084 - What's up? - What up, man? 654 00:31:04,086 --> 00:31:04,817 You good? 655 00:31:04,819 --> 00:31:06,420 Yeah, man, I'm all right. 656 00:31:06,422 --> 00:31:09,789 Just fucking bugging out a little bit. 657 00:31:09,791 --> 00:31:12,426 It's just a lot at once, you know? 658 00:31:12,428 --> 00:31:14,795 I'll bet, man, I'll bet. 659 00:31:14,797 --> 00:31:15,694 Fuck. 660 00:31:15,696 --> 00:31:17,197 I feel you. 661 00:31:17,199 --> 00:31:18,065 Yeah. 662 00:31:18,067 --> 00:31:21,101 And just like fucking seeing everybody 663 00:31:21,103 --> 00:31:23,303 just got me thinking about Maddy, man. 664 00:31:23,305 --> 00:31:24,140 Mmm. 665 00:31:26,275 --> 00:31:27,143 Yeah. 666 00:31:28,042 --> 00:31:32,347 You, you got her new number? 667 00:31:34,182 --> 00:31:34,815 I do. 668 00:31:34,817 --> 00:31:35,649 You do? 669 00:31:35,651 --> 00:31:36,482 Yeah. 670 00:31:36,484 --> 00:31:37,285 Fuck. 671 00:31:42,523 --> 00:31:44,190 You know she moved. 672 00:31:44,192 --> 00:31:45,225 She did? 673 00:31:45,227 --> 00:31:46,492 Uh huh. 674 00:31:46,494 --> 00:31:47,626 Where is she staying now? 675 00:31:47,628 --> 00:31:49,563 She's up on Lehigh. 676 00:31:49,565 --> 00:31:50,396 On Lehigh? 677 00:31:50,398 --> 00:31:51,498 Yeah. 678 00:31:51,500 --> 00:31:53,100 - Really? - Yeah, it's chill though, you know. 679 00:31:53,102 --> 00:31:53,901 Fuck. 680 00:31:53,903 --> 00:31:56,103 So what have you been up to, dawg? 681 00:31:56,105 --> 00:31:58,604 Oh, you know, was working in Brooklyn for a bit. 682 00:31:58,606 --> 00:32:00,239 - And... - Yeah. 683 00:32:00,241 --> 00:32:03,142 get out of town for a bit, get a couple dollars, 684 00:32:03,144 --> 00:32:03,943 I feel all right. 685 00:32:03,945 --> 00:32:06,680 And then it's just like same shit. 686 00:32:06,682 --> 00:32:07,581 Just nothing. 687 00:32:07,583 --> 00:32:08,748 Just like it never happened, you know? 688 00:32:08,750 --> 00:32:11,351 - Yeah. - And like try and get a job in North Philly. 689 00:32:11,353 --> 00:32:13,152 You know, I was writing a lot, man. 690 00:32:13,154 --> 00:32:14,187 Writing? 691 00:32:14,189 --> 00:32:15,221 Yeah, when I was away. 692 00:32:15,223 --> 00:32:17,356 I'm as sad as your angel, as sad as your God. 693 00:32:17,358 --> 00:32:20,293 As sad as the party in shiny fog. 694 00:32:20,295 --> 00:32:22,629 As sad as your money and all of its lies. 695 00:32:22,631 --> 00:32:25,332 As sad as the people when they fade away and die. 696 00:32:25,334 --> 00:32:28,267 As sad as your hope, as sad as your faith, 697 00:32:28,269 --> 00:32:32,240 as sad as your quotes, and as sad as this space. 698 00:32:32,607 --> 00:32:33,442 Mmm. 699 00:32:34,542 --> 00:32:36,176 Yo, they probably didn't tell you, 700 00:32:36,178 --> 00:32:39,211 but Justin got strippers coming, like right now. 701 00:32:39,213 --> 00:32:40,180 - Hi. - Oh. 702 00:32:40,182 --> 00:32:41,614 - Good evening, ladies. - They're so sweet. 703 00:32:41,616 --> 00:32:43,283 Oh ho. 704 00:32:43,285 --> 00:32:45,251 - Hello, hi everybody. - It's that time. 705 00:32:45,253 --> 00:32:46,253 - Hello. - Goodness gracious. 706 00:32:46,255 --> 00:32:47,586 Well, this is our special guest. 707 00:32:47,588 --> 00:32:48,921 He's been away for a little while. 708 00:32:48,923 --> 00:32:49,488 Hi. 709 00:32:49,490 --> 00:32:50,157 Hi, how's it going? 710 00:32:50,159 --> 00:32:51,424 Nice to meet you. 711 00:32:51,426 --> 00:32:53,259 - Nice to meet you, too. - Are you guys ready? 712 00:32:53,261 --> 00:32:54,297 Yeah. 713 00:32:57,566 --> 00:32:58,401 Alright. 714 00:33:01,569 --> 00:33:02,571 Fantastic. 715 00:33:16,817 --> 00:33:17,819 Hi. 716 00:33:41,442 --> 00:33:45,411 When I was 13 years old, actually your age, 717 00:33:45,413 --> 00:33:48,448 I never went back home ever again. 718 00:33:48,450 --> 00:33:51,684 I had to live in nine different institutions 719 00:33:51,686 --> 00:33:54,156 and foster homes and jails. 720 00:33:55,223 --> 00:33:58,225 So I learned at a very young age 721 00:33:58,227 --> 00:34:02,295 about a lot of stuff that I shouldn't know about. 722 00:34:02,297 --> 00:34:03,296 You know? 723 00:34:03,298 --> 00:34:07,234 Then I figured out what this one thing was, sex. 724 00:34:07,236 --> 00:34:08,601 I met this guy. 725 00:34:08,603 --> 00:34:11,271 He was your brother's dad. 726 00:34:11,273 --> 00:34:12,742 I was 15, he was 30. 727 00:34:15,010 --> 00:34:16,075 I know. 728 00:34:16,077 --> 00:34:18,979 It's kind of gross to think about now. 729 00:34:18,981 --> 00:34:21,280 But when I was growing up 730 00:34:21,282 --> 00:34:23,416 I thought it was... 731 00:34:23,418 --> 00:34:25,385 Is that even legal age? 732 00:34:25,387 --> 00:34:26,019 No. 733 00:34:26,021 --> 00:34:27,554 Yeah. 734 00:34:27,556 --> 00:34:29,891 He knew how to siphon gas, 735 00:34:31,994 --> 00:34:34,427 do a whole host of other kinds of things. 736 00:34:34,429 --> 00:34:38,498 And then I found out that he had a serious heroin addiction, 737 00:34:38,500 --> 00:34:42,534 and I didn't know anything about addictions then. 738 00:34:48,010 --> 00:34:49,041 Hey. 739 00:34:49,043 --> 00:34:49,876 Hey. 740 00:34:49,878 --> 00:34:50,510 Oh. 741 00:34:50,512 --> 00:34:51,344 You in here by yourself? 742 00:34:51,346 --> 00:34:52,479 Yeah, eating some chips. 743 00:34:52,481 --> 00:34:54,613 Well, you know this party is for you, right? 744 00:34:54,615 --> 00:34:56,316 We're here to entertain you. 745 00:34:56,318 --> 00:34:57,251 Mmm. 746 00:34:57,253 --> 00:35:01,324 Would you like to go upstairs? 747 00:35:21,643 --> 00:35:22,474 So what do I do? 748 00:35:22,476 --> 00:35:24,246 - Lay back. - Okay. 749 00:35:47,501 --> 00:35:48,971 I love you. 750 00:35:53,641 --> 00:35:54,575 It's just reminding me 751 00:35:54,577 --> 00:35:57,880 of like how fucking broken my heart is. 752 00:36:00,748 --> 00:36:01,947 Who broke your heart? 753 00:36:01,949 --> 00:36:02,949 Oh, it's a long story. 754 00:36:02,951 --> 00:36:06,755 It's just, I don't even, this isn't appropriate. 755 00:36:08,456 --> 00:36:11,326 I had this girl that I was with. 756 00:36:14,028 --> 00:36:15,063 And... 757 00:36:19,034 --> 00:36:23,369 she had a kid with some other dude when I was away. 758 00:36:23,371 --> 00:36:24,436 Wow. 759 00:36:24,438 --> 00:36:26,106 Yeah. 760 00:36:26,108 --> 00:36:27,539 I'm sorry, I, is this... 761 00:36:27,541 --> 00:36:29,108 Are you still in love? 762 00:36:29,110 --> 00:36:29,943 I don't know. 763 00:36:29,945 --> 00:36:31,077 You don't know? 764 00:36:31,079 --> 00:36:32,512 No, I'm, 765 00:36:32,514 --> 00:36:34,079 I just got her number like out front. 766 00:36:34,081 --> 00:36:36,583 My friend Tim gave me her new number and... 767 00:36:36,585 --> 00:36:39,552 Well, you should give her a call. 768 00:36:39,554 --> 00:36:43,055 That's what I was thinking, yeah. 769 00:36:43,057 --> 00:36:44,124 All right, thank you. 770 00:36:44,126 --> 00:36:45,724 You're welcome. 771 00:36:50,831 --> 00:36:52,030 Oh! 772 00:36:52,032 --> 00:36:54,767 One of the most dramatic horrible memories that I have 773 00:36:54,769 --> 00:36:56,338 is that Mark's dad, 774 00:36:59,007 --> 00:37:02,441 he had a couple baseball bats. 775 00:37:02,443 --> 00:37:05,445 He told me that he was coming over to kill me. 776 00:37:05,447 --> 00:37:07,947 So he brought over a couple. 777 00:37:07,949 --> 00:37:10,985 He was like in a blackout on dope. 778 00:37:12,686 --> 00:37:16,858 And at the time, he was like 200 some pounds, huge guy. 779 00:37:17,125 --> 00:37:18,925 And I had your brother. 780 00:37:18,927 --> 00:37:20,760 And we just like hid in the basement. 781 00:37:20,762 --> 00:37:23,563 And the door was being knocked down. 782 00:37:23,565 --> 00:37:25,999 And I knew that if he came in the house, 783 00:37:26,001 --> 00:37:27,599 me and your brother would die. 784 00:37:27,601 --> 00:37:31,470 So I called the Minneapolis Police Department, 785 00:37:31,472 --> 00:37:34,072 And they sent out like six squad cars. 786 00:37:34,074 --> 00:37:35,074 But sometimes when people 787 00:37:35,076 --> 00:37:38,914 are really, really high on alcohol and drugs, 788 00:37:39,748 --> 00:37:41,780 they get this like super strength. 789 00:37:41,782 --> 00:37:44,016 So they had like the entire police force 790 00:37:44,018 --> 00:37:48,022 like trying to restrain him and get him away from us. 791 00:37:49,490 --> 00:37:53,661 And that was only one of like a million other incidents. 792 00:37:55,764 --> 00:37:59,068 And that's the story of me and Mark's dad. 793 00:38:41,076 --> 00:38:42,110 Maddy? 794 00:38:43,177 --> 00:38:45,013 Hey, hi, it's Mark. 795 00:38:50,719 --> 00:38:51,554 Okay. 796 00:39:11,873 --> 00:39:14,706 Yes, who is that? 797 00:39:14,708 --> 00:39:17,110 Oh, it's cold out there. 798 00:39:17,112 --> 00:39:18,110 It's good to see you. 799 00:39:18,112 --> 00:39:19,646 Yeah, you too. 800 00:39:19,648 --> 00:39:20,546 Thanks for seeing me. 801 00:39:20,548 --> 00:39:21,179 Yeah. 802 00:39:21,181 --> 00:39:22,981 Oh, this is... 803 00:39:22,983 --> 00:39:23,983 Oh yeah, we got a... 804 00:39:23,985 --> 00:39:24,950 really amazing place. 805 00:39:24,952 --> 00:39:29,023 Thanks, we got a lot going on. 806 00:39:30,224 --> 00:39:31,023 I'm doing good. 807 00:39:31,025 --> 00:39:33,126 I'm staying with my mom right now. 808 00:39:33,128 --> 00:39:34,159 Cool. 809 00:39:34,161 --> 00:39:34,994 And my brother. 810 00:39:34,996 --> 00:39:35,994 Yeah? 811 00:39:35,996 --> 00:39:37,031 And... 812 00:39:40,034 --> 00:39:44,202 just trying to find my way again, you know? 813 00:39:44,204 --> 00:39:45,039 Umm hmm. 814 00:39:47,074 --> 00:39:48,007 But things are good. 815 00:39:48,009 --> 00:39:49,008 I'm happy to be home. 816 00:39:49,010 --> 00:39:51,077 Yeah, I bet. 817 00:39:51,079 --> 00:39:51,978 Really happy to see you. 818 00:39:51,980 --> 00:39:54,213 Thanks for seeing me. 819 00:39:54,215 --> 00:39:55,048 Yeah. 820 00:39:55,050 --> 00:39:56,018 You know? 821 00:39:57,152 --> 00:40:01,190 I'm gonna to put him upstairs, just real quick, okay? 822 00:40:38,126 --> 00:40:39,157 So. 823 00:40:45,099 --> 00:40:47,036 I was really selfish. 824 00:40:49,036 --> 00:40:51,637 I was acting like a child. 825 00:40:51,639 --> 00:40:55,141 You know, I wish I was the guy I am now back then. 826 00:40:55,143 --> 00:40:58,177 And I'm really sorry that I hurt you. 827 00:40:58,179 --> 00:41:02,117 And I thought about you, you know, every day. 828 00:41:04,052 --> 00:41:06,119 Yeah, I thought about you, too. 829 00:41:06,121 --> 00:41:07,155 And... 830 00:41:14,663 --> 00:41:17,065 Ah. 831 00:41:20,434 --> 00:41:21,269 Um. 832 00:41:24,139 --> 00:41:26,075 You're gonna be okay. 833 00:41:37,751 --> 00:41:40,322 Okay. 834 00:41:46,960 --> 00:41:49,631 Don't, like don't bullshit me. 835 00:41:50,931 --> 00:41:52,097 I'm not bullshitting you. 836 00:41:52,099 --> 00:41:54,002 Yeah, sure, you know. 837 00:41:55,003 --> 00:41:56,101 I'm totally fucking fine. 838 00:41:56,103 --> 00:41:57,170 I told you, I had a couple beers. 839 00:41:57,172 --> 00:42:01,376 You're fucking nodding out driving us right now. 840 00:42:02,043 --> 00:42:02,874 Just tell me the truth. 841 00:42:02,876 --> 00:42:04,179 What did you take? 842 00:42:13,054 --> 00:42:16,392 Good morning. 843 00:42:19,193 --> 00:42:23,061 I was having a bad dream. 844 00:42:23,063 --> 00:42:25,733 Sounds depressing. 845 00:42:28,202 --> 00:42:30,706 I was falling through space. 846 00:42:33,407 --> 00:42:35,411 And it was really crazy, 847 00:42:38,079 --> 00:42:39,948 because I could feel 848 00:42:42,851 --> 00:42:46,184 like every cell in my entire body... 849 00:42:46,186 --> 00:42:47,056 Cut. 850 00:42:51,226 --> 00:42:53,525 What do you mean, cut? 851 00:43:21,188 --> 00:43:24,090 Democracy starts today with opening up the debates 852 00:43:24,092 --> 00:43:26,291 for every single political party 853 00:43:26,293 --> 00:43:28,094 in the United States of America. 854 00:43:31,498 --> 00:43:32,264 Here, we'll help you. 855 00:43:32,266 --> 00:43:33,365 - Thank you. - Thank you, ma'am. 856 00:43:33,367 --> 00:43:33,999 Thank you, ladies. 857 00:43:34,001 --> 00:43:35,834 Watch the flag, please. 858 00:43:35,836 --> 00:43:38,037 Democracy was taken away from us, 859 00:43:38,039 --> 00:43:42,211 and we were taken by Secret Service to a secret location. 860 00:43:43,478 --> 00:43:47,849 And we were handcuffed to metal chairs for eight hours. 861 00:43:52,554 --> 00:43:54,153 Typically is a three-day cycle. 862 00:43:54,155 --> 00:43:55,987 So they spray every three days. 863 00:43:55,989 --> 00:43:58,124 So you get a day where everybody, 864 00:43:58,126 --> 00:44:01,394 just everybody is in a really good mood, everyone's up. 865 00:44:01,396 --> 00:44:03,061 And then like, three days later, 866 00:44:03,063 --> 00:44:05,398 like everyone's like really down, like withdrawn. 867 00:44:05,400 --> 00:44:07,833 Like everyone's like crashing from, like, the drugs. 868 00:44:07,835 --> 00:44:09,601 And then they spray again. 869 00:44:09,603 --> 00:44:10,737 - No fucking way. - You'll notice. 870 00:44:10,739 --> 00:44:13,072 You'll notice, like everybody's happy at the same time, 871 00:44:13,074 --> 00:44:14,307 everybody's pissed off at the same time. 872 00:44:14,309 --> 00:44:16,175 Just the vibe of the city, 873 00:44:16,177 --> 00:44:19,347 'cause they're fucking lacing the sky. 874 00:44:28,121 --> 00:44:29,155 Is this right? 875 00:44:29,157 --> 00:44:29,789 Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. 876 00:44:29,791 --> 00:44:30,990 That's good, that's good. 877 00:44:30,992 --> 00:44:31,827 Alright. 878 00:44:33,228 --> 00:44:34,896 So what I need is... 879 00:44:38,932 --> 00:44:40,501 Come on, faster guys. 880 00:44:45,039 --> 00:44:46,472 Hey, you're only on the first one? 881 00:44:46,474 --> 00:44:47,673 Yeah. 882 00:44:47,675 --> 00:44:49,307 Come on, come on, come on, come on. Fucking move it! 883 00:44:51,112 --> 00:44:54,983 Here, here, here, here, go get the next one. 884 00:45:06,226 --> 00:45:07,059 Okay. 885 00:45:07,061 --> 00:45:08,896 Um, hi, I'm Guillermo. 886 00:45:10,097 --> 00:45:13,599 So I recently got diagnosed with Asperger's, 887 00:45:13,601 --> 00:45:15,269 which is ridiculous. 888 00:45:18,572 --> 00:45:19,505 When people think of autism, 889 00:45:19,507 --> 00:45:20,472 the first thing that comes to their head 890 00:45:20,474 --> 00:45:24,346 is a grown man having a tantrum in public. 891 00:45:25,213 --> 00:45:29,384 It's a little disheartening to be finally given that, 892 00:45:30,918 --> 00:45:32,318 I don't want to say label. 893 00:45:32,320 --> 00:45:34,653 But for lack of a better word, label. 894 00:45:34,655 --> 00:45:37,925 It's going to cause a lot of problems 895 00:45:39,527 --> 00:45:41,193 farther down the road in my life. 896 00:45:41,195 --> 00:45:43,498 I'm already bullied regularly. 897 00:45:48,168 --> 00:45:51,170 I'm told to kill myself a lot. 898 00:45:51,172 --> 00:45:53,139 One time I got beat up to the point 899 00:45:53,141 --> 00:45:55,106 where an ambulance had to pick me up. 900 00:45:55,108 --> 00:45:59,244 And me and my mom are still paying for that bill. 901 00:45:59,246 --> 00:46:01,213 And I got beat up and taken by the ambulance 902 00:46:01,215 --> 00:46:04,583 in like 3rd or 4th grade and I'm in the 7th grade now. 903 00:46:04,585 --> 00:46:07,286 Nowadays I have friends, so I don't have to sit 904 00:46:07,288 --> 00:46:11,126 next to the garbage cans during lunch anymore. 905 00:46:12,260 --> 00:46:15,961 A lot of people look at me weird, 906 00:46:15,963 --> 00:46:18,264 tell me I'm not supposed to be there. 907 00:46:18,266 --> 00:46:22,436 Being suicidal and my heavy depression, it's horrible. 908 00:46:23,204 --> 00:46:24,503 It's horrific. 909 00:46:24,505 --> 00:46:26,671 That's why I want to start out with a documentary, 910 00:46:26,673 --> 00:46:31,045 to teach and show others about what happens to me and to, 911 00:46:32,179 --> 00:46:36,349 I'm sure, a lot of kids all over America. 912 00:46:36,351 --> 00:46:37,650 That a lot of people are just... 913 00:46:37,652 --> 00:46:39,385 I had no idea that this shit even goes on. 914 00:46:39,387 --> 00:46:41,686 But, so there's a point in natural labor 915 00:46:41,688 --> 00:46:43,688 where your body is like, you can't do it. 916 00:46:43,690 --> 00:46:47,126 Your mind is like, you're not, you can't do it. 917 00:46:47,128 --> 00:46:48,760 She was kind of at that point where she was like, 918 00:46:48,762 --> 00:46:52,197 "I can't do it, I'm not gonna do it, "I can't, I can't do it, I can't do it." 919 00:46:52,199 --> 00:46:54,032 And we're like, no, you're doing it, it's happening. 920 00:46:54,034 --> 00:46:55,400 Like the baby is starting to come out. 921 00:46:55,402 --> 00:46:57,369 It's like right at the very end of the labor. 922 00:46:57,371 --> 00:46:59,438 So she had to like change her breathing pattern. 923 00:46:59,440 --> 00:47:02,173 And the midwife was trying to explain it to her, 924 00:47:02,175 --> 00:47:04,309 and I could tell she wasn't getting it. 925 00:47:04,311 --> 00:47:08,246 Like she was visibly frustrated and, like, wasn't doing it. 926 00:47:08,248 --> 00:47:10,081 And they were like, kept trying to tell her, 927 00:47:10,083 --> 00:47:11,583 and like she wasn't getting it. 928 00:47:11,585 --> 00:47:15,121 And like I saw that, and in that moment, 929 00:47:15,123 --> 00:47:17,655 it was like my instincts just like kicked in. 930 00:47:17,657 --> 00:47:19,724 And I was like, I'm just gonna start doing it. 931 00:47:19,726 --> 00:47:21,793 And she like, we locked eyes. 932 00:47:21,795 --> 00:47:23,362 And she just like settled down 933 00:47:23,364 --> 00:47:25,097 and like started mimicking me. 934 00:47:25,099 --> 00:47:27,233 And we were like totally in sync, yo. 935 00:47:27,235 --> 00:47:29,434 And like that was the point where she was able to, 936 00:47:29,436 --> 00:47:31,137 like, get into the right rhythm. 937 00:47:31,139 --> 00:47:32,804 And then was like properly dilated. 938 00:47:32,806 --> 00:47:35,407 And got through that like little hump. 939 00:47:35,409 --> 00:47:38,276 It was, like I felt like part of that 940 00:47:38,278 --> 00:47:39,345 at that point, you know? 941 00:47:39,347 --> 00:47:40,679 And I felt like we really connected 942 00:47:40,681 --> 00:47:42,148 on some like next level shit. 943 00:47:42,150 --> 00:47:44,682 It was really, it was fucking beautiful man. 944 00:47:44,684 --> 00:47:46,121 - It was... - Crazy. 945 00:47:47,487 --> 00:47:48,322 Yeah. 946 00:47:49,190 --> 00:47:52,260 It's really, it's the coolest shit. 947 00:47:53,460 --> 00:47:54,362 Oh, my bad. 948 00:47:55,730 --> 00:47:57,329 I just, I don't get a chance to really like 949 00:47:57,331 --> 00:47:58,463 cut loose anymore. 950 00:47:58,465 --> 00:48:01,266 So I was trying to take advantage of the cat being away. 951 00:48:01,268 --> 00:48:02,235 No, it's all good, bro. 952 00:48:02,237 --> 00:48:03,769 - It's total... - And so the mouse could play. 953 00:48:03,771 --> 00:48:06,237 - It's totally okay. - You know what I mean? But yeah, oh. - It's fine. 954 00:48:06,239 --> 00:48:10,208 Oh my God, I love you, dude. 955 00:48:11,445 --> 00:48:13,479 I got to step out front, dude. I feel weird. 956 00:48:13,481 --> 00:48:14,847 Yeah, go ahead, man. 957 00:48:14,849 --> 00:48:15,548 Yeah. 958 00:48:15,550 --> 00:48:16,782 The buzzer doesn't work, though. 959 00:48:16,784 --> 00:48:20,688 So when you want to come back in just call me or text me. 960 00:48:25,126 --> 00:48:27,358 I have romantic problems. 961 00:48:27,360 --> 00:48:31,630 When you're a nerd who is very socially awkward. 962 00:48:31,632 --> 00:48:34,400 I do have this one girl who I really do like 963 00:48:34,402 --> 00:48:37,503 but I don't that's gonna go anywhere 964 00:48:37,505 --> 00:48:39,407 'cause she's a lesbian. 965 00:48:42,376 --> 00:48:45,376 You know, I've been feeling a little low recently 966 00:48:45,378 --> 00:48:49,581 since I've been back, and just readjusting. 967 00:48:49,583 --> 00:48:52,217 So what I want to do today 968 00:48:52,219 --> 00:48:54,253 is this loving kindness meditation 969 00:48:54,255 --> 00:48:56,391 that I'll guide you through. 970 00:48:58,192 --> 00:48:59,293 Close your eyes. 971 00:49:00,661 --> 00:49:04,499 And take one deep breath in through your nose. 972 00:49:16,710 --> 00:49:18,546 And I want you to say, 973 00:49:20,280 --> 00:49:22,284 may you be free of fear. 974 00:49:23,784 --> 00:49:25,454 May you be at peace. 975 00:49:27,387 --> 00:49:28,824 May you be happy. 976 00:49:30,625 --> 00:49:33,295 I want you to smile at yourself. 977 00:49:35,396 --> 00:49:39,267 And I want you to tell yourself, I love you. 978 00:49:57,684 --> 00:49:58,516 Hey. 979 00:49:58,518 --> 00:49:59,385 Oh! 980 00:49:59,387 --> 00:50:00,920 Good morning. 981 00:50:00,922 --> 00:50:01,954 Good morning. 982 00:50:01,956 --> 00:50:02,954 Thank you, honey. 983 00:50:02,956 --> 00:50:04,558 You're welcome. 984 00:50:05,592 --> 00:50:07,161 The least I can do. 985 00:50:08,663 --> 00:50:10,862 We got coffee, bagels, donuts. 986 00:50:10,864 --> 00:50:11,930 Wow. 987 00:50:11,932 --> 00:50:12,965 Yeah. 988 00:50:12,967 --> 00:50:13,965 The whole works. 989 00:50:13,967 --> 00:50:15,333 Mmm hmm. 990 00:50:15,335 --> 00:50:16,302 He's still asleep. 991 00:50:16,304 --> 00:50:17,235 Well, you know your brother. 992 00:50:17,237 --> 00:50:18,704 He doesn't like mornings. 993 00:50:18,706 --> 00:50:20,307 Yeah, no, I know. 994 00:50:22,275 --> 00:50:26,248 We're gonna take your brother to see his dad tonight. 995 00:50:28,215 --> 00:50:31,485 He tells me supposedly that he's clean. 996 00:50:33,621 --> 00:50:34,623 All right. 997 00:50:37,224 --> 00:50:38,289 Hey. 998 00:50:38,291 --> 00:50:40,258 Can you give me a ride? 999 00:50:40,260 --> 00:50:40,892 What's up, man? 1000 00:50:40,894 --> 00:50:41,994 What's up, yo? 1001 00:50:41,996 --> 00:50:43,862 - How you been? - How you doing? I been good, man. 1002 00:50:43,864 --> 00:50:44,697 All right. 1003 00:50:44,699 --> 00:50:45,530 Hi, yo, yo. 1004 00:50:45,532 --> 00:50:46,367 Hi Dad. 1005 00:50:47,735 --> 00:50:48,566 You all right? 1006 00:50:48,568 --> 00:50:49,400 Hey, Cheri. 1007 00:50:49,402 --> 00:50:50,802 Hi. 1008 00:50:50,804 --> 00:50:51,769 How you doing, man? 1009 00:50:51,771 --> 00:50:53,972 All right, cold. 1010 00:50:53,974 --> 00:50:55,807 The jail you just got out of... 1011 00:50:55,809 --> 00:50:56,941 Yeah. Yeah so... 1012 00:50:56,943 --> 00:50:59,880 is where Guillermo met his dad. 1013 00:51:00,981 --> 00:51:01,680 Oh, no. 1014 00:51:05,318 --> 00:51:05,954 Yes. 1015 00:51:07,288 --> 00:51:09,722 Oh my God, I had forgotten about that. 1016 00:51:09,724 --> 00:51:11,724 That's where you met him. 1017 00:51:11,726 --> 00:51:12,858 Well, you were a baby, though. 1018 00:51:12,860 --> 00:51:13,691 Yeah. 1019 00:51:13,693 --> 00:51:14,760 I love my son. 1020 00:51:14,762 --> 00:51:16,662 It's fucked up that I saw you for the first time, 1021 00:51:16,664 --> 00:51:17,832 I was in jail. 1022 00:51:18,699 --> 00:51:20,566 And I wasn't even there when you were born. 1023 00:51:20,568 --> 00:51:21,970 But can't deny you. 1024 00:51:23,503 --> 00:51:24,903 Look at you. 1025 00:51:24,905 --> 00:51:25,704 It's a mirror. 1026 00:51:25,706 --> 00:51:27,505 They had to take his diaper off, 1027 00:51:27,507 --> 00:51:29,307 search his diaper, do all this. 1028 00:51:29,309 --> 00:51:31,476 Yeah, because I had a crazy charge, you know. 1029 00:51:31,478 --> 00:51:32,311 I was in maximum. 1030 00:51:32,313 --> 00:51:34,012 I had a kidnapping. 1031 00:51:34,014 --> 00:51:37,883 But, tell him about the string yo yo. 1032 00:51:37,885 --> 00:51:38,816 Uh... 1033 00:51:38,818 --> 00:51:41,019 I hadn't seen him in a minute. 1034 00:51:41,021 --> 00:51:42,054 I was on the run. 1035 00:51:42,056 --> 00:51:43,921 So I was like, you know, fucking, 1036 00:51:43,923 --> 00:51:46,458 I had that little string on my wrist. 1037 00:51:46,460 --> 00:51:47,592 And my son saw it. 1038 00:51:47,594 --> 00:51:49,263 So I gave it to him. 1039 00:51:50,597 --> 00:51:52,831 And I can't believe he's still got it. 1040 00:51:52,833 --> 00:51:57,005 Now I got to get you a real bracelet. 1041 00:51:57,505 --> 00:51:58,438 What about your health? 1042 00:51:58,440 --> 00:52:00,539 I don't even know how I'm still alive. 1043 00:52:00,541 --> 00:52:02,941 I had endocarditis. 1044 00:52:02,943 --> 00:52:06,077 I was in the hospital for a month because of that. 1045 00:52:06,079 --> 00:52:08,449 I've OD'd like nine times. 1046 00:52:11,085 --> 00:52:12,483 I'm still here. 1047 00:52:12,485 --> 00:52:14,853 How about your other health stuff? 1048 00:52:14,855 --> 00:52:15,987 Oh. 1049 00:52:15,989 --> 00:52:16,991 The thing. 1050 00:52:17,858 --> 00:52:18,891 The thing. 1051 00:52:18,893 --> 00:52:20,892 That's what your parents call it, the thing. 1052 00:52:20,894 --> 00:52:21,760 Oh, really? 1053 00:52:21,762 --> 00:52:23,028 Mmm hmm. 1054 00:52:23,030 --> 00:52:26,334 From getting high, from everything, 1055 00:52:26,967 --> 00:52:29,967 I ended up getting Hep C and HIV. 1056 00:52:29,969 --> 00:52:32,804 He found out, and then he came over to the house 1057 00:52:32,806 --> 00:52:35,009 on Tulip Street high as shit. 1058 00:52:36,409 --> 00:52:38,077 Oh, well, of course. 1059 00:52:38,079 --> 00:52:42,450 Like when you get that fucking news, what do you expect? 1060 00:52:42,682 --> 00:52:46,117 Like when I found out, I went crazy for like three days. 1061 00:52:46,119 --> 00:52:49,954 And I was like, might as well just kill myself now. 1062 00:52:49,956 --> 00:52:51,657 Because I was afraid. 1063 00:52:51,659 --> 00:52:55,430 I was afraid that he might have it, you know. 1064 00:52:56,931 --> 00:52:59,030 'Cause I didn't know, like, when I got it. 1065 00:52:59,032 --> 00:53:01,867 So I didn't know if I gave it to your mom. 1066 00:53:01,869 --> 00:53:04,436 Like there was so many variables to it. 1067 00:53:04,438 --> 00:53:06,070 - Yeah. - I thought he was so full of shit. 1068 00:53:06,072 --> 00:53:07,438 I got him in the car. 1069 00:53:07,440 --> 00:53:10,108 I didn't care how high he was. 1070 00:53:10,110 --> 00:53:13,679 He was screaming outside my window all night long. 1071 00:53:13,681 --> 00:53:16,414 What happened to your eye? 1072 00:53:16,416 --> 00:53:20,587 I, you know I ran the streets for a decade, like Philly. 1073 00:53:21,922 --> 00:53:24,623 And I did a lot of dirt. 1074 00:53:24,625 --> 00:53:28,894 Well, it just happened that I burned a corner 1075 00:53:28,896 --> 00:53:33,068 for a break, that a breaker stabbed one of those. 1076 00:53:33,467 --> 00:53:37,639 Well, the dude I robbed, he got sentenced to a five to 10. 1077 00:53:38,972 --> 00:53:40,206 Mmm. 1078 00:53:40,208 --> 00:53:44,008 So I don't know how in the hell, paperwork got fucked up. 1079 00:53:44,010 --> 00:53:45,443 Or I don't know. 1080 00:53:45,445 --> 00:53:46,878 I was walking on the street, 1081 00:53:46,880 --> 00:53:51,083 and the second I turned around, 'cause I sensed it, 1082 00:53:51,085 --> 00:53:53,184 I just seen the golf club. 1083 00:53:53,186 --> 00:53:56,391 $1,000, or get hit with a golf club. 1084 00:53:57,891 --> 00:54:00,191 So yeah, that's what I told them for. 1085 00:54:00,193 --> 00:54:02,126 That's my dad. 1086 00:54:02,128 --> 00:54:04,095 No, don't, I'm not proud of it, G. 1087 00:54:04,097 --> 00:54:05,197 That's what I'm trying to say. 1088 00:54:05,199 --> 00:54:08,867 All the shit that I've done, I wish I could tell you. 1089 00:54:08,869 --> 00:54:11,003 I wish I could talk to you and explain to you 1090 00:54:11,005 --> 00:54:13,104 so you don't have to go through 1091 00:54:13,106 --> 00:54:14,940 all the shit I've been through. 1092 00:54:14,942 --> 00:54:18,811 Literally the first 10 years of your life, 1093 00:54:18,813 --> 00:54:20,979 I wasted 'em, you know? 1094 00:54:20,981 --> 00:54:23,852 Just because I was getting high. 1095 00:54:25,219 --> 00:54:26,784 You hear the train? 1096 00:54:26,786 --> 00:54:28,186 That fucking train, I hate it, 1097 00:54:28,188 --> 00:54:32,559 'cause I literally threw away my life under that El 1098 00:54:34,594 --> 00:54:36,028 just for a high. 1099 00:54:36,030 --> 00:54:39,030 Anyway, so I'm getting you a skateboard. 1100 00:54:39,032 --> 00:54:39,965 No. 1101 00:54:39,967 --> 00:54:42,034 Yes, you got to get out of the house. 1102 00:54:42,036 --> 00:54:43,101 I get out of the house. 1103 00:54:43,103 --> 00:54:44,735 I just don't enjoy it. 1104 00:54:46,806 --> 00:54:47,639 Yeah I, no. 1105 00:54:47,641 --> 00:54:48,507 Yeah. 1106 00:54:48,509 --> 00:54:49,575 No. 1107 00:54:49,577 --> 00:54:51,242 I got to see your knees at least scraped once. 1108 00:54:51,244 --> 00:54:53,479 My knees have been scraped a lot of times. 1109 00:54:53,481 --> 00:54:54,981 Let's play handball. 1110 00:54:54,983 --> 00:54:56,081 - No, that hurts. - Let me teach you how to play handball. 1111 00:54:56,083 --> 00:54:57,014 Played it, it hurts. 1112 00:54:57,016 --> 00:54:58,083 No it don't. 1113 00:54:58,085 --> 00:55:01,019 - Yes it does. - You wear a glove if it hurts. 1114 00:55:01,021 --> 00:55:03,121 I got to do something positive, 1115 00:55:03,123 --> 00:55:05,923 helping my beautiful son grow up. 1116 00:55:05,925 --> 00:55:09,596 But I can see you. 1117 00:55:10,864 --> 00:55:11,863 Same hair. 1118 00:55:11,865 --> 00:55:13,965 You'll shape up nice. 1119 00:55:13,967 --> 00:55:14,800 Yeah. 1120 00:55:14,802 --> 00:55:16,133 I still don't see it. 1121 00:55:16,135 --> 00:55:18,003 You don't see it? 1122 00:55:18,005 --> 00:55:19,170 I don't see the resemblance. 1123 00:55:19,172 --> 00:55:20,238 Can you see a resemblance? 1124 00:55:20,240 --> 00:55:20,873 Absolutely. 1125 00:55:20,875 --> 00:55:21,874 Just take the nose out. 1126 00:55:21,876 --> 00:55:25,244 You got the same big ass smile, big ass lips. 1127 00:55:25,246 --> 00:55:26,079 The hair. 1128 00:55:27,681 --> 00:55:29,947 You're both geniuses. 1129 00:55:29,949 --> 00:55:30,615 Yeah, but... 1130 00:55:30,617 --> 00:55:33,050 You're both full of shit. 1131 00:55:33,052 --> 00:55:36,255 I think I figured out what gives me peace. 1132 00:55:36,257 --> 00:55:37,090 Really? 1133 00:55:38,192 --> 00:55:39,758 What's that? 1134 00:55:39,760 --> 00:55:40,662 You guys. 1135 00:55:42,128 --> 00:55:46,030 It's good to know that at least a few people 1136 00:55:46,032 --> 00:55:48,266 have my best intentions at heart, 1137 00:55:48,268 --> 00:55:51,570 and care about me to the point 1138 00:55:51,572 --> 00:55:55,072 where they only want to bring me joy, 1139 00:55:55,074 --> 00:55:59,047 regardless of what happens to them or anybody else. 1140 00:56:08,255 --> 00:56:09,921 Hello? 1141 00:56:09,923 --> 00:56:12,124 Come on, time to get up. 1142 00:56:12,126 --> 00:56:13,659 Happy fun day, boys. 1143 00:56:13,661 --> 00:56:14,825 Come on, get up. 1144 00:56:14,827 --> 00:56:15,661 Come on. 1145 00:56:15,663 --> 00:56:16,394 Hurry up. 1146 00:56:16,396 --> 00:56:17,996 We're gonna have a fun day today. 1147 00:56:17,998 --> 00:56:20,068 My name is Cheri Honkala, 1148 00:56:21,568 --> 00:56:24,635 and I'm proud to announce today 1149 00:56:24,637 --> 00:56:28,340 that I am the first formerly homeless mother 1150 00:56:28,342 --> 00:56:32,713 running for Vice President of the United States of America. 1151 00:56:34,715 --> 00:56:36,615 I know what it's like 1152 00:56:36,617 --> 00:56:39,083 to sleep on the streets of this country, 1153 00:56:39,085 --> 00:56:41,021 and so did my son Mark. 1154 00:56:42,356 --> 00:56:46,728 We lived together in abandoned houses, abandoned cars. 1155 00:56:46,994 --> 00:56:49,530 Every night in this country, 1156 00:56:50,230 --> 00:56:54,601 millions of children will not have a place to call home. 1157 00:56:55,302 --> 00:56:58,869 They, too, will lay down in the streets, 1158 00:56:58,871 --> 00:57:02,042 in the cold each night in our country. 1159 00:57:07,146 --> 00:57:08,650 - Oh, Mark? - Hmm? 1160 00:57:10,184 --> 00:57:12,150 Do you mind if I get your help a little later? 1161 00:57:17,324 --> 00:57:20,391 For those families of this city, 1162 00:57:20,393 --> 00:57:23,362 they take away their voice! 1163 00:57:23,364 --> 00:57:26,034 What the hell is wrong with you? 1164 00:57:27,134 --> 00:57:29,800 You got to move back, son, you got to move back. 1165 00:57:36,010 --> 00:57:37,943 people get right with God. 1166 00:57:37,945 --> 00:57:39,711 Do you get high, do you get 1167 00:57:39,713 --> 00:57:40,979 do you get wasted? 1168 00:57:40,981 --> 00:57:42,216 Oh, shame on you! 1169 00:57:43,416 --> 00:57:47,788 But this is our country, not Trump's country! 1170 00:57:50,958 --> 00:57:52,793 Did you get the dog? 1171 00:57:56,697 --> 00:57:58,896 Oh, you should probably take this, then. 1172 00:57:58,898 --> 00:58:01,034 All right, let me get you. 1173 00:58:03,237 --> 00:58:05,871 How are you feeling right now? 1174 00:58:05,873 --> 00:58:09,307 Nervous but overall pretty good. 1175 00:58:09,309 --> 00:58:10,409 Okay. 1176 00:58:10,411 --> 00:58:12,276 That's a good shot. 1177 00:58:12,278 --> 00:58:14,081 I'll go around you. 1178 00:58:15,048 --> 00:58:16,050 There we go. 1179 00:58:19,152 --> 00:58:21,353 Talk to me about anything. 1180 00:58:21,355 --> 00:58:22,356 Pussy, dick. 1181 00:58:24,992 --> 00:58:26,825 Uh, I don't know, whatever. 1182 00:58:26,827 --> 00:58:30,762 Whatever may cross your mind, you can talk to me about it. 1183 00:58:30,764 --> 00:58:32,264 What's the worst thing you've ever done? 1184 00:58:32,266 --> 00:58:36,168 I can't say that on film 1185 00:58:36,170 --> 00:58:40,340 but what I can say is I've done a lot of bad things. 1186 00:58:40,840 --> 00:58:41,472 Okay. 1187 00:58:41,474 --> 00:58:43,310 Why do you like drugs? 1188 00:58:47,447 --> 00:58:51,385 Because they took me out of myself for a few. 1189 00:58:54,253 --> 00:58:57,322 Because I didn't have to deal with reality 1190 00:58:57,324 --> 00:59:00,191 at the moment when I'm high. 1191 00:59:00,193 --> 00:59:02,494 At first it was beautiful, you know. 1192 00:59:02,496 --> 00:59:06,130 You could manage, get high and make your problems go away. 1193 00:59:06,132 --> 00:59:08,068 But then it became work 1194 00:59:11,371 --> 00:59:14,805 because I had to come up with money 1195 00:59:14,807 --> 00:59:18,980 so I wouldn't be dope sick so it wasn't no fun no more. 1196 00:59:19,179 --> 00:59:22,316 It became actually a job not to be sick. 1197 00:59:24,016 --> 00:59:26,318 So what's it like being a father? 1198 00:59:26,320 --> 00:59:30,324 Nice question there. 1199 00:59:32,826 --> 00:59:35,096 Honestly, how does it feel? 1200 00:59:36,230 --> 00:59:40,164 It feels wonderful that you're my son. 1201 00:59:40,166 --> 00:59:41,469 I love you dearly. 1202 00:59:42,402 --> 00:59:46,773 You're 13, and I think I've missed half of your life 1203 00:59:49,376 --> 00:59:50,608 because of me getting high. 1204 00:59:50,610 --> 00:59:54,882 So the only thing I can say is that I'm real proud of you. 1205 00:59:56,150 --> 00:59:58,249 I love the fact that you're my son. 1206 00:59:58,251 --> 01:00:01,820 Love the fact that I know you're gonna do 1207 01:00:01,822 --> 01:00:04,990 real good in your life, because you're real bright. 1208 01:00:04,992 --> 01:00:07,095 The fact that we can talk 1209 01:00:09,163 --> 01:00:11,099 like, you know, people. 1210 01:00:13,934 --> 01:00:16,771 And I don't have to, you know, lie 1211 01:00:19,039 --> 01:00:21,972 or come up with excuses because I'm high 1212 01:00:21,974 --> 01:00:24,077 and I can't come see you. 1213 01:00:25,913 --> 01:00:27,148 Don't get high. 1214 01:00:28,081 --> 01:00:31,550 Instead of getting high, go get some pussy. 1215 01:00:31,552 --> 01:00:34,989 Because that's the best drug there is. 1216 01:00:36,389 --> 01:00:37,222 Okay. 1217 01:00:37,224 --> 01:00:38,226 All right? 1218 01:00:39,393 --> 01:00:40,925 So do I give you a hug? 1219 01:00:40,927 --> 01:00:43,028 Come here. 1220 01:00:43,030 --> 01:00:44,165 I love you, G. 1221 01:00:46,967 --> 01:00:48,532 Now say cut. 1222 01:00:48,534 --> 01:00:49,400 Cut. 1223 01:00:53,306 --> 01:00:56,176 Good. 1224 01:01:00,380 --> 01:01:01,345 Like his advice to Guillermo 1225 01:01:01,347 --> 01:01:04,916 was all he needs to do is get some pussy. 1226 01:01:04,918 --> 01:01:05,920 Oh really? 1227 01:01:11,157 --> 01:01:14,325 Why do you have him see him? 1228 01:01:14,327 --> 01:01:16,927 Guillermo's dad is very sick. 1229 01:01:16,929 --> 01:01:20,164 I don't know, he could, you know, he could die tomorrow. 1230 01:01:20,166 --> 01:01:23,101 At least he will have had some kind of relationship with him, 1231 01:01:23,103 --> 01:01:26,371 or memory of him, you know? His dad has been - Yeah, but not like that. 1232 01:01:26,373 --> 01:01:28,240 totally absent all these years. 1233 01:01:28,242 --> 01:01:30,474 Yeah, but that time with him, 1234 01:01:30,476 --> 01:01:34,345 with saying shit like that to him, is traumatic. 1235 01:01:34,347 --> 01:01:35,447 And it's detrimental. 1236 01:01:35,449 --> 01:01:37,048 Yeah, well, you should have interjected something. 1237 01:01:37,050 --> 01:01:37,983 You should have said something. 1238 01:01:37,985 --> 01:01:39,650 I'm saying something to you right now. 1239 01:01:39,652 --> 01:01:41,151 All right, is this where we get into 1240 01:01:41,153 --> 01:01:43,021 dissecting me as a mom? 1241 01:01:43,023 --> 01:01:45,557 And this is what you do all the time. 1242 01:01:45,559 --> 01:01:47,161 It's the same shit. 1243 01:01:49,463 --> 01:01:52,998 Neither of you guys' dads ever did shit. 1244 01:01:53,000 --> 01:01:57,170 - Your dad never gave me one dollar, not one dollar. - But what did you do... 1245 01:01:59,338 --> 01:02:01,005 Who visited you in prison? 1246 01:02:01,007 --> 01:02:01,974 It was me. 1247 01:02:01,976 --> 01:02:03,407 But what have you done wrong, Mom? 1248 01:02:03,409 --> 01:02:05,175 I was a teenager mother then. 1249 01:02:05,177 --> 01:02:09,046 The only thing that I knew how to do was to hustle. 1250 01:02:09,048 --> 01:02:12,016 So I worked for years in different clubs 1251 01:02:12,018 --> 01:02:14,151 trying to figure out how to take that money 1252 01:02:14,153 --> 01:02:15,653 and meet the needs of my kids. 1253 01:02:15,655 --> 01:02:17,521 - Yeah but that was a choice - Keep my kids alive. 1254 01:02:17,523 --> 01:02:18,690 that you made, you made that choice. 1255 01:02:18,692 --> 01:02:19,523 A choice? 1256 01:02:19,525 --> 01:02:20,157 Ain't no choice. 1257 01:02:20,159 --> 01:02:21,025 It was a fucking choice. 1258 01:02:21,027 --> 01:02:21,927 Yo, listen, don't tell me 1259 01:02:21,929 --> 01:02:23,394 about something you don't know about. 1260 01:02:23,396 --> 01:02:24,329 I know about it. 1261 01:02:24,331 --> 01:02:25,262 No you don't. You... 1262 01:02:25,264 --> 01:02:26,231 You made a choice. 1263 01:02:26,233 --> 01:02:27,499 You could have went and done something else. 1264 01:02:27,501 --> 01:02:28,999 - You've never worked in that... No. - You weren't forced into it. 1265 01:02:29,001 --> 01:02:31,503 - You weren't like sold into the fucking... - You don't want to hear this. 1266 01:02:31,505 --> 01:02:33,537 You have never worked inside that industry. 1267 01:02:33,539 --> 01:02:35,307 - You could have chose some other job. - Bullshit! 1268 01:02:35,309 --> 01:02:36,941 I didn't have to come home at night 1269 01:02:36,943 --> 01:02:39,244 and then know what the fuck you were doing. 1270 01:02:39,246 --> 01:02:41,345 - Mark, Mark, Mark. - As a fucking teenage kid. 1271 01:02:41,347 --> 01:02:42,579 Mark, Mark, Mark. 1272 01:02:42,581 --> 01:02:44,115 Like that shit was inappropriate! 1273 01:02:44,117 --> 01:02:46,050 - Yo. - That shit fucked me up! 1274 01:02:46,052 --> 01:02:47,552 Ay, yi, yi. 1275 01:02:47,554 --> 01:02:49,621 You never want to talk about the shit that you did that fucked me up. 1276 01:02:49,623 --> 01:02:50,789 You don't, okay, Mark, you... 1277 01:02:50,791 --> 01:02:52,190 Yeah, and you're doing the same shit with Guillermo. 1278 01:02:52,192 --> 01:02:53,057 Yo. 1279 01:02:53,059 --> 01:02:53,992 You're doing the same thing to him. 1280 01:02:53,994 --> 01:02:56,961 Listen to me for God's sakes, you know? 1281 01:02:56,963 --> 01:02:58,028 We have to figure out... 1282 01:02:58,030 --> 01:02:59,164 I'm not talking about, 1283 01:02:59,166 --> 01:03:01,633 we're talking about the mental health of your children. 1284 01:03:01,635 --> 01:03:03,233 Yeah, and my kids have both been in therapy 1285 01:03:03,235 --> 01:03:04,635 - their whole life. - Yes, I'm a grown man now. 1286 01:03:04,637 --> 01:03:06,237 Yeah, that's bullshit, Mom. 1287 01:03:06,239 --> 01:03:09,106 No, both of my kids been in therapy, you know? 1288 01:03:09,108 --> 01:03:10,041 I been, I was therapy... 1289 01:03:10,043 --> 01:03:10,941 They luckily had those tools. 1290 01:03:10,943 --> 01:03:11,943 You took me to fucking therapy 1291 01:03:11,945 --> 01:03:13,945 when I was five years old after my dad left. 1292 01:03:13,947 --> 01:03:17,248 - Yeah, and then you were in therapy many times. - I was in therapy for like a fucking week, 1293 01:03:17,250 --> 01:03:18,249 and I went there and I drank apple juice. 1294 01:03:18,251 --> 01:03:19,516 If you didn't... 1295 01:03:19,518 --> 01:03:20,150 That's not enough, Mom. 1296 01:03:20,152 --> 01:03:21,318 If you didn't determine 1297 01:03:21,320 --> 01:03:24,555 to take those tools and to work on your mental health, 1298 01:03:24,557 --> 01:03:26,657 then that's your responsibility. 1299 01:03:26,659 --> 01:03:29,193 - I've done a damn good job. My life ain't no different... - It's a responsibility 1300 01:03:29,195 --> 01:03:30,394 as an adult. 1301 01:03:30,396 --> 01:03:32,530 - My life... - But when I'm a child, 1302 01:03:32,532 --> 01:03:35,733 when I'm fucking 10 year old child I didn't have a choice. 1303 01:03:35,735 --> 01:03:37,101 - Listen, listen, yes. - That's what you did! 1304 01:03:37,103 --> 01:03:39,204 - Let me, wait, wait, wait. Don't talk over me. - You put me... 1305 01:03:39,206 --> 01:03:40,104 - You talked. - I went to prison. 1306 01:03:40,106 --> 01:03:42,072 I ended up with a fucking drug habit. 1307 01:03:42,074 --> 01:03:44,108 - It's not... - I did five years in prison. 1308 01:03:44,110 --> 01:03:45,209 Now Guillermo... 1309 01:03:45,211 --> 01:03:47,077 - It's my turn to talk. - Don't even get me started 1310 01:03:47,079 --> 01:03:48,313 on Guillermo. 1311 01:03:48,315 --> 01:03:50,014 It's not about the self-absorption. 1312 01:03:50,016 --> 01:03:52,349 I'm not fucking self-absorbed, and neither is my brother. 1313 01:03:52,351 --> 01:03:55,119 I'm in pain, and I'm sad, and so the fuck is he. 1314 01:03:55,121 --> 01:03:56,854 And it's because of choices that you made. 1315 01:03:56,856 --> 01:03:59,289 - Well, you're gonna have to... - And yes I know how to survive on the streets. 1316 01:03:59,291 --> 01:04:00,291 You're gonna have to toughen up. 1317 01:04:00,293 --> 01:04:01,925 And I know how to take care of other people. 1318 01:04:01,927 --> 01:04:04,429 - You're gonna have to toughen up. - And I know how to not be selfish. 1319 01:04:04,431 --> 01:04:06,498 - It's easier... - But I don't know how to fucking love myself. 1320 01:04:06,500 --> 01:04:08,233 Well, then you better start working on it. 1321 01:04:08,235 --> 01:04:09,168 And neither does he. 1322 01:04:09,170 --> 01:04:10,401 You better start working on it. 1323 01:04:10,403 --> 01:04:13,604 I had you doing affirmations when you were a little boy. 1324 01:04:13,606 --> 01:04:17,978 And maybe you need to go back to some of those basic tools. 1325 01:04:51,244 --> 01:04:52,276 Yo, what's up, man? 1326 01:04:52,278 --> 01:04:53,211 It's Mark. 1327 01:04:53,213 --> 01:04:56,250 Holler back at me when you get a chance. 1328 01:07:00,539 --> 01:07:03,244 What the fuck are you doing? 1329 01:07:06,746 --> 01:07:10,251 I'm just letting loose, having fun, Mom. 1330 01:07:10,951 --> 01:07:12,916 You're drinking. 1331 01:07:12,918 --> 01:07:13,952 Yeah, Mom. 1332 01:07:13,954 --> 01:07:16,222 I mean, it's a fucking bar. 1333 01:07:17,690 --> 01:07:20,958 I don't know how you can say that. 1334 01:07:20,960 --> 01:07:22,427 You're destroying your life. 1335 01:07:22,429 --> 01:07:24,697 Mom, I'm fine, all right? 1336 01:07:25,532 --> 01:07:27,867 I'm just trying to have fun. 1337 01:07:29,235 --> 01:07:31,739 You have nothing to worry about. 1338 01:07:40,981 --> 01:07:42,216 Mom! 1339 01:08:38,438 --> 01:08:39,504 Shit. 1340 01:08:39,506 --> 01:08:40,673 Oh, I'm sorry. 1341 01:09:13,340 --> 01:09:13,974 Yo. 1342 01:09:15,742 --> 01:09:19,643 Yeah, your glasses, just take those glasses, 1343 01:09:19,645 --> 01:09:20,711 smash 'em on the ground. 1344 01:09:20,713 --> 01:09:21,946 We'll get you contacts. 1345 01:09:21,948 --> 01:09:23,915 I don't want contacts. 1346 01:09:23,917 --> 01:09:26,718 I like the way I look, Mark. 1347 01:09:26,720 --> 01:09:27,887 Are you drunk? 1348 01:09:29,622 --> 01:09:30,457 No. 1349 01:09:36,762 --> 01:09:39,300 Are you drunk? 1350 01:09:44,104 --> 01:09:46,073 Yes, I'm a little drunk. 1351 01:09:47,940 --> 01:09:51,576 You said you weren't gonna drink anymore. 1352 01:09:51,578 --> 01:09:52,413 Yeah. 1353 01:09:54,613 --> 01:09:55,280 Yeah, I said that. 1354 01:09:55,282 --> 01:09:56,446 Well, you know, guess what? 1355 01:09:56,448 --> 01:10:01,018 You know, seriously, this is the most important thing 1356 01:10:01,020 --> 01:10:03,057 I could tell you, man. 1357 01:10:04,023 --> 01:10:06,656 Is that shit is gonna happen to you, 1358 01:10:06,658 --> 01:10:10,428 and life is just shit happening to you. 1359 01:10:10,430 --> 01:10:13,731 And a lot of fucked up shit is gonna happen to you. 1360 01:10:13,733 --> 01:10:15,967 And you're gonna get your fucking heart broken. 1361 01:10:15,969 --> 01:10:17,402 Some girl is gonna come along, 1362 01:10:17,404 --> 01:10:19,035 and she's gonna grab your fucking heart, 1363 01:10:19,037 --> 01:10:21,805 smash it in a million little pieces. 1364 01:10:21,807 --> 01:10:23,607 You're gonna have to fucking pick up the pieces, 1365 01:10:23,609 --> 01:10:24,576 try and figure out 1366 01:10:24,578 --> 01:10:26,677 how to get the pieces back into your body. 1367 01:10:26,679 --> 01:10:27,978 And you're gonna be sitting there 1368 01:10:27,980 --> 01:10:30,113 like what the fuck just happened. 1369 01:10:30,115 --> 01:10:33,451 And people are gonna let you down, you know? 1370 01:10:33,453 --> 01:10:36,019 Fucking Mom, Mom is gonna let you down. 1371 01:10:36,021 --> 01:10:37,088 Your dad is gonna let you down. 1372 01:10:37,090 --> 01:10:38,822 Everyone's gonna let you down. 1373 01:10:38,824 --> 01:10:43,059 Life is just a fucking, one letdown after another. 1374 01:10:43,061 --> 01:10:44,695 It's just, that's life. 1375 01:10:44,697 --> 01:10:48,499 That's all life is, is just like one fucking letdown. 1376 01:10:48,501 --> 01:10:49,903 Boom, boom, boom. 1377 01:10:51,104 --> 01:10:52,169 You know? 1378 01:10:52,171 --> 01:10:56,109 And all you can really do is just fucking control 1379 01:10:56,743 --> 01:10:59,847 like how you react to being let down. 1380 01:11:00,779 --> 01:11:01,611 That's it. 1381 01:11:01,613 --> 01:11:02,412 There's nothing else. 1382 01:11:02,414 --> 01:11:06,049 And life is just about controlling 1383 01:11:06,051 --> 01:11:07,018 and that's what life is. 1384 01:11:07,020 --> 01:11:10,987 Look, I honestly, I don't fucking blame you 1385 01:11:10,989 --> 01:11:13,089 for sitting around playing video games all day, man. 1386 01:11:13,091 --> 01:11:17,063 'Cause it is a fucking cold, fucked up world out there. 1387 01:11:19,131 --> 01:11:21,067 It is really fucked up. 1388 01:11:22,100 --> 01:11:22,734 You know? 1389 01:11:25,104 --> 01:11:27,604 You understand what I'm saying? 1390 01:11:27,606 --> 01:11:29,874 Are you listening to me right now? 1391 01:11:29,876 --> 01:11:30,708 Yeah. 1392 01:11:30,710 --> 01:11:31,545 Yeah? 1393 01:11:33,645 --> 01:11:34,544 At the end of the day, 1394 01:11:34,546 --> 01:11:37,583 no one really gives a fuck about you. 1395 01:11:38,818 --> 01:11:39,653 You know? 1396 01:11:41,119 --> 01:11:45,091 You just got to like take care of yourself, man. 1397 01:11:45,591 --> 01:11:47,027 Good night, Mark. 1398 01:11:48,027 --> 01:11:49,029 That's it. 1399 01:11:55,734 --> 01:11:57,602 It was totally traumatizing. 1400 01:11:57,604 --> 01:11:59,003 'Cause I took your brother, 1401 01:11:59,005 --> 01:12:02,005 and we went to the Children's Guidance Center. 1402 01:12:02,007 --> 01:12:04,709 And I started taking him to therapy. 1403 01:12:04,711 --> 01:12:08,882 And, you know, he'd cry, 'cause he wanted to see his dad. 1404 01:12:10,082 --> 01:12:12,282 And then he'd start kicking me and biting me, 1405 01:12:12,284 --> 01:12:14,552 'cause he wanted to see his dad. 1406 01:12:14,554 --> 01:12:15,785 The therapist said to me, 1407 01:12:15,787 --> 01:12:18,724 "Cheri, you know, you're the adult. 1408 01:12:20,527 --> 01:12:24,698 "Even though you're a little girl, you have to protect him. 1409 01:12:24,898 --> 01:12:28,168 "And the best thing that you can do is, 1410 01:12:29,002 --> 01:12:32,035 "you know, to tell Mark's father that he can't see him 1411 01:12:32,037 --> 01:12:35,805 "until he gets off of drug and alcohol." 1412 01:12:35,807 --> 01:12:38,177 And Mark's dad never came back. 1413 01:12:55,161 --> 01:12:56,663 I love you, Mom. 1414 01:13:14,046 --> 01:13:15,047 I dig it. 1415 01:13:17,082 --> 01:13:20,084 It's parked around on North Street. 1416 01:13:20,086 --> 01:13:21,052 Thank you. 1417 01:16:44,791 --> 01:16:45,522 We look alike. 1418 01:16:46,359 --> 01:16:47,191 Yeah. 1419 01:16:47,193 --> 01:16:48,558 God, what do you say? 1420 01:16:48,560 --> 01:16:49,362 It's... 1421 01:16:51,130 --> 01:16:53,930 I've loved you, I've missed you. 1422 01:16:53,932 --> 01:16:57,000 I missed you, too. 1423 01:16:57,002 --> 01:17:00,470 I think back, 1424 01:17:00,472 --> 01:17:03,476 that period of my life and the time. 1425 01:17:07,046 --> 01:17:10,117 I really wanted to be as, I don't know. 1426 01:17:11,216 --> 01:17:12,318 Wow. 1427 01:17:14,052 --> 01:17:16,323 Little Mark. 1428 01:17:17,289 --> 01:17:19,225 How old was I here? 1429 01:17:20,326 --> 01:17:22,058 Four or five. 1430 01:17:22,060 --> 01:17:22,893 I'll have to ask. 1431 01:17:22,895 --> 01:17:25,396 I forgot to ask Carolyn. 1432 01:17:25,398 --> 01:17:27,100 It's really crazy. 1433 01:17:29,202 --> 01:17:30,337 How do you feel? 1434 01:17:32,104 --> 01:17:34,170 With my hands. 1435 01:17:34,172 --> 01:17:35,606 Yeah. 1436 01:17:35,608 --> 01:17:38,608 Right now I'm feeling a lot of joy and happiness. 1437 01:17:38,610 --> 01:17:39,442 Yeah. 1438 01:17:39,444 --> 01:17:41,010 Just great to see you. 1439 01:17:41,012 --> 01:17:41,978 Mmm hmm. 1440 01:17:41,980 --> 01:17:43,848 Well, Dad, I guess I'm... 1441 01:17:43,850 --> 01:17:45,482 Glad to hear you say Dad. 1442 01:17:45,484 --> 01:17:47,084 That's a trip. 1443 01:17:47,086 --> 01:17:48,885 I sure want to go fishing with you. 1444 01:17:48,887 --> 01:17:50,053 That'd be fun to sit in a boat, 1445 01:17:50,055 --> 01:17:53,257 make a nice lunch and sit in the boat. 1446 01:17:53,259 --> 01:17:55,092 That'd be cool. 1447 01:17:55,094 --> 01:17:57,294 I like to get big sucker minnows and a big bobber, 1448 01:17:57,296 --> 01:17:58,896 and I just throw it out there. 1449 01:17:58,898 --> 01:17:59,530 And it's... 1450 01:17:59,532 --> 01:18:01,098 I've never been fishing. 1451 01:18:01,100 --> 01:18:02,031 Never been fishing? 1452 01:18:02,033 --> 01:18:02,933 No. 1453 01:18:02,935 --> 01:18:04,934 Oh, God, that'll be great. 1454 01:18:04,936 --> 01:18:05,969 Yeah. 1455 01:18:05,971 --> 01:18:07,338 Yeah, it'd be nice to... 1456 01:18:07,340 --> 01:18:08,175 Oh yeah. 1457 01:18:09,176 --> 01:18:11,208 do some like father and son shit. 1458 01:18:11,210 --> 01:18:12,409 Yeah. 1459 01:18:12,411 --> 01:18:13,611 Yeah. 1460 01:18:13,613 --> 01:18:15,178 We were a happy little family, 1461 01:18:15,180 --> 01:18:19,351 and then just kind of went to shit. 1462 01:18:20,051 --> 01:18:21,352 You remember riding in the blue truck? 1463 01:18:21,354 --> 01:18:24,088 And I fight authority but authority always wins, 1464 01:18:24,090 --> 01:18:25,022 that was our song? 1465 01:18:25,024 --> 01:18:27,090 We had the boom box in the truck and... 1466 01:18:27,092 --> 01:18:31,096 I think the last time that I remember that we talked, 1467 01:18:33,498 --> 01:18:35,366 I was with my mom. 1468 01:18:35,368 --> 01:18:38,936 And I think you were coming to pick me up. 1469 01:18:38,938 --> 01:18:42,039 And I was gonna get like some Transformers 1470 01:18:42,041 --> 01:18:42,839 or something like that. 1471 01:18:42,841 --> 01:18:45,375 Yeah, bringing you Optimus Prime. 1472 01:18:45,377 --> 01:18:46,343 Mmm hmm. 1473 01:18:46,345 --> 01:18:47,414 And then, um. 1474 01:18:50,082 --> 01:18:51,248 Yeah and then... 1475 01:18:51,250 --> 01:18:53,183 I didn't make it, you know? 1476 01:18:53,185 --> 01:18:54,621 I didn't show up. 1477 01:18:57,555 --> 01:19:01,125 Because of the drinking and drugs. 1478 01:19:01,127 --> 01:19:01,962 That's... 1479 01:19:03,194 --> 01:19:04,695 Yeah. 1480 01:19:04,697 --> 01:19:08,065 Addiction, it's a horrible thing. 1481 01:19:08,067 --> 01:19:10,200 Something I passed on. 1482 01:19:10,202 --> 01:19:11,335 Yeah. 1483 01:19:11,337 --> 01:19:15,208 But still, that's no fucking excuse to, I don't know. 1484 01:19:18,010 --> 01:19:20,143 Did you, were you able to get sober ever 1485 01:19:20,145 --> 01:19:22,211 and get any time together and stuff? 1486 01:19:22,213 --> 01:19:24,516 Oh yeah, I've been 20 years. 1487 01:19:26,152 --> 01:19:28,154 20 years, holy shit. 1488 01:19:32,057 --> 01:19:33,523 How long you had this house for? 1489 01:19:33,525 --> 01:19:35,058 Six years, we rent. 1490 01:19:35,060 --> 01:19:36,095 Okay. 1491 01:19:37,329 --> 01:19:40,229 We really went through some tough financial times, boy. 1492 01:19:40,231 --> 01:19:41,231 Yeah? 1493 01:19:41,233 --> 01:19:44,067 I had started out, we moved to Grand Rapids 1494 01:19:44,069 --> 01:19:45,969 and I bought a home, and lost that. 1495 01:19:45,971 --> 01:19:46,602 And... 1496 01:19:46,604 --> 01:19:47,236 Really? 1497 01:19:47,238 --> 01:19:49,673 It kind of slipped away. 1498 01:19:49,675 --> 01:19:51,275 I reached out to my family 1499 01:19:51,277 --> 01:19:55,448 who didn't want anything to do with me for 20 years 1500 01:19:57,582 --> 01:19:58,382 to help me. 1501 01:19:58,384 --> 01:20:01,253 And they, my dad wouldn't help me. 1502 01:20:02,354 --> 01:20:03,653 But then my dad got sick, 1503 01:20:03,655 --> 01:20:06,123 but then I got to see him again before he passed. 1504 01:20:06,125 --> 01:20:07,257 So, I... 1505 01:20:07,259 --> 01:20:08,291 And that's my grandpa? 1506 01:20:08,293 --> 01:20:09,326 Yeah. 1507 01:20:09,328 --> 01:20:11,661 Did I ever meet him? 1508 01:20:11,663 --> 01:20:13,399 Yeah, I don't know. 1509 01:20:15,333 --> 01:20:18,001 I have to ask Carolyn, she'll know. 1510 01:20:18,003 --> 01:20:18,736 What was his name? 1511 01:20:18,738 --> 01:20:19,570 John. 1512 01:20:19,572 --> 01:20:20,571 John. 1513 01:20:20,573 --> 01:20:22,272 What'd he die of? 1514 01:20:22,274 --> 01:20:23,109 Cancer. 1515 01:20:26,378 --> 01:20:27,544 Well, I'm still like, 1516 01:20:27,546 --> 01:20:29,379 I can't believe I'm standing across from you right now. 1517 01:20:29,381 --> 01:20:31,984 It's definitely really weird. 1518 01:20:34,319 --> 01:20:36,219 It's awesome, man. 1519 01:20:36,221 --> 01:20:37,053 It is. 1520 01:20:37,055 --> 01:20:39,623 It's kind of like, I don't know. 1521 01:20:39,625 --> 01:20:43,262 Well, 20 years of shit kind of went away. 1522 01:20:45,163 --> 01:20:47,430 Or the years I'd be... 1523 01:20:47,432 --> 01:20:48,335 Yeah, 30. 1524 01:20:49,568 --> 01:20:51,101 30, oh. 1525 01:20:51,103 --> 01:20:53,137 How old are you now, Dad? 1526 01:20:53,139 --> 01:20:54,504 I'm 60. 1527 01:20:54,506 --> 01:20:57,040 I'll be 61 April 7th. 1528 01:20:57,042 --> 01:20:57,676 Oh, wow. 1529 01:20:59,110 --> 01:21:01,111 I like your tattoos. 1530 01:21:01,113 --> 01:21:04,117 Yeah, I'm really a huge Viking fan. 1531 01:21:05,818 --> 01:21:07,250 My heroes. 1532 01:21:07,252 --> 01:21:08,085 Oh wow. 1533 01:21:08,087 --> 01:21:09,155 Jerry Garcia. 1534 01:21:10,722 --> 01:21:12,388 Jimi Hendrix. 1535 01:21:12,390 --> 01:21:14,728 That's fucking incredible. 1536 01:21:15,828 --> 01:21:18,227 And we got John Lennon. 1537 01:21:18,229 --> 01:21:19,429 Jesus. 1538 01:21:19,431 --> 01:21:22,232 Love John, so does your mom. 1539 01:21:22,234 --> 01:21:23,834 And Janis Joplin. 1540 01:21:23,836 --> 01:21:26,139 Oh, I had a crush on her. 1541 01:21:29,108 --> 01:21:30,240 Oh, cool! 1542 01:21:30,242 --> 01:21:31,077 Wow. 1543 01:21:32,211 --> 01:21:32,843 Isn't that cool? 1544 01:21:32,845 --> 01:21:33,677 That is cool! 1545 01:21:33,679 --> 01:21:34,378 I know. 1546 01:21:34,380 --> 01:21:36,312 Like all those too, already. 1547 01:21:36,314 --> 01:21:37,483 Yeah. 1548 01:21:40,152 --> 01:21:42,119 What's this about on your arm? 1549 01:21:42,121 --> 01:21:44,455 Oh I have, from dialysis. 1550 01:21:44,457 --> 01:21:45,625 So I got to... 1551 01:21:46,658 --> 01:21:47,590 Oh, right. 1552 01:21:47,592 --> 01:21:49,125 keep it bandaged. 1553 01:21:49,127 --> 01:21:52,629 Last April I went, had a stem cell transplant. 1554 01:21:52,631 --> 01:21:56,165 Well, that's where they take out, they go in, 1555 01:21:56,167 --> 01:21:59,202 get all this horrible chemo that kills everything in you. 1556 01:21:59,204 --> 01:22:02,873 Then they harvest some good stem cells out of me, 1557 01:22:02,875 --> 01:22:05,375 and then they put it back in. 1558 01:22:05,377 --> 01:22:06,809 Yeah. 1559 01:22:06,811 --> 01:22:08,611 'Cause the cancer ate up my kidneys, 1560 01:22:08,613 --> 01:22:11,415 so I'm on dialysis three times a week. 1561 01:22:11,417 --> 01:22:15,588 And that's lately really been kicking my ass. 1562 01:22:15,787 --> 01:22:16,820 What is that like? 1563 01:22:16,822 --> 01:22:17,987 What do you have to do? 1564 01:22:17,989 --> 01:22:21,791 You go in, and they take out your blood and clean it, 1565 01:22:21,793 --> 01:22:23,293 and put it back in. 1566 01:22:23,295 --> 01:22:25,595 Four hours in the chair. 1567 01:22:25,597 --> 01:22:28,134 Appetite still is a problem. 1568 01:22:29,467 --> 01:22:32,236 Don't feel like eating, that's hard to explain. 1569 01:22:32,238 --> 01:22:33,273 Mmm hmm. 1570 01:22:35,173 --> 01:22:37,241 Because you want to keep on weight. 1571 01:22:37,243 --> 01:22:39,675 You don't want to lose weight. 1572 01:22:39,677 --> 01:22:42,681 Yeah, because shit, I used to weigh, 1573 01:22:44,149 --> 01:22:46,215 well, I lost almost 100 pounds. 1574 01:22:46,217 --> 01:22:48,152 I used to weigh 280. 1575 01:22:48,154 --> 01:22:49,253 Wow. 1576 01:22:49,255 --> 01:22:51,224 And now I'm down to 176. 1577 01:22:53,192 --> 01:22:55,161 It just shh, consumes you. 1578 01:22:57,296 --> 01:22:59,196 I remember my kidney doctor, he talked to me. 1579 01:22:59,198 --> 01:23:02,165 And he said when he first met me, 1580 01:23:02,167 --> 01:23:05,568 that he said "I gave you six months to live." 1581 01:23:05,570 --> 01:23:07,905 And that really freaked me out. 1582 01:23:07,907 --> 01:23:09,505 Yeah. 1583 01:23:09,507 --> 01:23:12,543 You know, it's working to make its comeback. 1584 01:23:12,545 --> 01:23:14,678 That's what bad about cancer. 1585 01:23:14,680 --> 01:23:15,812 You get rid of it for a while, 1586 01:23:15,814 --> 01:23:18,848 but then it's like it gets pissed and it comes back. 1587 01:23:18,850 --> 01:23:21,184 What kind of cancer was it again? 1588 01:23:21,186 --> 01:23:23,256 Non-Hodgkin's lymphoma. 1589 01:23:24,489 --> 01:23:26,956 It's cancer of my blood. 1590 01:23:26,958 --> 01:23:27,958 Mmm hmm. 1591 01:23:27,960 --> 01:23:29,492 And... 1592 01:23:29,494 --> 01:23:33,196 I'd hate to think like. 1593 01:23:33,198 --> 01:23:35,732 Yeah, get back together and fucking die? 1594 01:23:35,734 --> 01:23:38,434 Yeah, that's, 1595 01:23:38,436 --> 01:23:39,535 that's fucked. 1596 01:23:39,537 --> 01:23:41,671 It's not supposed to be that way. 1597 01:23:41,673 --> 01:23:43,906 No, I don't want it to be that way. 1598 01:23:43,908 --> 01:23:45,808 With all those years that I, 1599 01:23:45,810 --> 01:23:47,843 I've wasted them, you know? 1600 01:23:47,845 --> 01:23:49,379 It's just fucked up. 1601 01:23:49,381 --> 01:23:51,415 And I don't want it to be that way. 1602 01:23:51,417 --> 01:23:53,586 I. 1603 01:23:57,590 --> 01:24:00,159 I wish. 1604 01:24:06,231 --> 01:24:08,764 A brightness, happiness. 1605 01:24:08,766 --> 01:24:12,604 'Cause when I was excited for stuff like that. 1606 01:24:26,952 --> 01:24:30,019 God I loved you, honey, when you were born. 1607 01:24:30,021 --> 01:24:31,256 And, oh. 1608 01:26:08,654 --> 01:26:11,521 Well, not first-person point of view. 1609 01:26:11,523 --> 01:26:12,425 Let's try. 1610 01:26:20,466 --> 01:26:24,470 Oh. 1611 01:26:25,537 --> 01:26:29,606 All right, take care man, I love you. 1612 01:26:29,608 --> 01:26:30,406 Good? 1613 01:26:30,408 --> 01:26:31,107 Yeah. 1614 01:26:31,109 --> 01:26:32,041 Burned you again, didn't I? 1615 01:26:32,043 --> 01:26:32,942 Uh, no. 1616 01:26:42,720 --> 01:26:43,620 Hey bro. 1617 01:26:43,622 --> 01:26:44,990 It's been a while. 1618 01:26:47,458 --> 01:26:51,061 So my documentary has been coming along really well. 1619 01:26:51,063 --> 01:26:55,001 I'm so sorry to hear the news about your dad. 1620 01:26:58,436 --> 01:27:00,704 Wish I could be there. 1621 01:27:00,706 --> 01:27:01,873 But, you know, 1622 01:27:05,978 --> 01:27:09,849 I hope you're dealing with it in a safe way, 1623 01:27:16,121 --> 01:27:16,989 yeah. 1624 01:27:20,893 --> 01:27:23,093 We got to see each other soon. 1625 01:27:23,095 --> 01:27:24,960 I love you, bro. 1626 01:27:24,962 --> 01:27:27,132 Call me when you get this. 1627 01:27:33,005 --> 01:27:34,907 Good morning. 1628 01:27:39,817 --> 01:27:44,817