1
00:00:38,210 --> 00:00:40,630
<i>I just had the strangest dream.</i>

2
00:00:41,791 --> 00:00:43,667
It's Friday.

3
00:00:44,085 --> 00:00:45,169
We're at the hospital.

4
00:00:45,336 --> 00:00:49,798
But it's not a hospital,
it's a forest of sorts.

5
00:00:50,133 --> 00:00:56,555
And I know that because
right next to you there's a bear.

6
00:00:56,848 --> 00:01:01,685
A grizzly, cooling his feet in a stream.

7
00:01:01,853 --> 00:01:06,190
And all of a sudden,
you begin to deliver...

8
00:01:06,357 --> 00:01:09,526
...and I can't get to you.

9
00:01:09,694 --> 00:01:11,487
But the bear can.

10
00:01:13,239 --> 00:01:14,907
And next thing I know...

11
00:01:15,075 --> 00:01:20,162
...he is holding our beautiful baby boy.

12
00:01:20,413 --> 00:01:23,290
And here's where it gets odd. Uh....

13
00:01:25,001 --> 00:01:26,710
He chews the cord.

14
00:01:27,962 --> 00:01:30,339
But, strangely, I'm okay with it.

15
00:01:35,512 --> 00:01:37,679
That's gotta be a good sign.

16
00:01:42,894 --> 00:01:44,478
Theodore. Loved it.

17
00:01:44,646 --> 00:01:48,398
But remember that article I told you about?
Naming kids after famous people?

18
00:01:48,566 --> 00:01:53,112
I don't want Teddy to think he's a failure
if he doesn't wind up on Mount Rushmore.

19
00:01:53,363 --> 00:01:55,155
Uh, Arthur. Oh!

20
00:01:55,323 --> 00:01:58,700
This was tough, because it's mythological.
Round Table, the whole deal.

21
00:01:58,868 --> 00:02:00,828
But "The Name Game." Remember that?

22
00:02:00,995 --> 00:02:02,079
"The Name Game"?

23
00:02:02,247 --> 00:02:04,706
"Art-Art-bo-Bart, Banana-Fana-fo-Fart."

24
00:02:04,874 --> 00:02:06,125
Brings us to Casey.

25
00:02:06,292 --> 00:02:07,751
This whole next slew of names:

26
00:02:07,919 --> 00:02:11,463
Casey, Jordan, Dylan, Drew, Taylor,
Tyler and probably mostly Skylar...

27
00:02:11,631 --> 00:02:13,757
...are all names that
could be girls' names.

28
00:02:13,925 --> 00:02:16,510
Why don't we just cut to the chase
and call him Cindy?

29
00:02:20,140 --> 00:02:22,808
Yeah, Atlanta.
Trying to get out of this place.

30
00:02:22,976 --> 00:02:24,768
-Denver's where it's at, man.
-Mm-hm.

31
00:02:24,936 --> 00:02:28,188
They got the whole underground
government conspiracy thing going on.

32
00:02:28,356 --> 00:02:29,982
-That so?
-I'm hearing a lot of chatter...

33
00:02:31,359 --> 00:02:33,527
-...on the message boards.
-Gotcha. I should grab this.

34
00:02:33,695 --> 00:02:35,404
-Sorry. Hey, honey.
<i>Hey, sweetie.</i>

35
00:02:35,572 --> 00:02:37,739
<i>-Did you get my message?</i>
-I did.

36
00:02:37,907 --> 00:02:40,909
I'm about halfway through it.
I thought I'd take a little break.

37
00:02:41,077 --> 00:02:44,913
Ha, ha. I didn't want you to think I was
arbitrarily dismissing those names.

38
00:02:45,081 --> 00:02:46,540
You considered them carefully.

39
00:02:46,708 --> 00:02:48,584
<i>It's just such a big decision, you know?</i>

40
00:02:48,751 --> 00:02:51,753
I know.
Clearly, you're taking it very seriously.

41
00:02:51,921 --> 00:02:53,755
More importantly,
what are you wearing?

42
00:02:53,923 --> 00:02:55,090
Armani Exchange.

43
00:02:55,258 --> 00:02:58,218
I'm talking to my--
No, no, that's just the driver, baby.

44
00:02:58,386 --> 00:03:01,263
Okay, listen, I'm about to be dropped off.
I should go.

45
00:03:01,431 --> 00:03:05,601
-I love you, can't wait to see you.
-I love you too. Safe flying.

46
00:03:08,062 --> 00:03:10,355
Here you go.
-Perfect.

47
00:03:11,441 --> 00:03:12,482
Yep.

48
00:03:13,776 --> 00:03:15,444
What in the eff?

49
00:03:15,612 --> 00:03:18,530
-Goddamn it!
-We done knocked it right off.

50
00:03:18,698 --> 00:03:21,283
Hey, man! You just hit my car!

51
00:03:21,451 --> 00:03:24,119
-You just knocked my door off, man.
Sorry about that.

52
00:03:24,287 --> 00:03:26,121
First things first,
is everybody okay?

53
00:03:26,289 --> 00:03:28,749
I'm in a Town Car!
Don't you know airport protocol?

54
00:03:28,917 --> 00:03:31,418
Town Cars have the right of way always!

55
00:03:50,146 --> 00:03:52,648
That right there is some serious damage.

56
00:03:52,815 --> 00:03:53,941
That ain't shit!

57
00:03:54,984 --> 00:03:57,361
My brother-in-law
is gonna kill me. I'm through!

58
00:03:57,528 --> 00:03:58,820
You okay?

59
00:03:58,988 --> 00:04:00,989
Sorry about my friend.
He's been drinking.

60
00:04:01,157 --> 00:04:03,659
You smell boozy too.
Drinking and driving together?

61
00:04:03,826 --> 00:04:05,661
Well, we haven't been drinking.

62
00:04:05,828 --> 00:04:09,831
I mean, we split a six-pack.
Of 40s. But....

63
00:04:09,999 --> 00:04:11,625
You know what?

64
00:04:11,834 --> 00:04:13,919
My father always had a saying:

65
00:04:14,087 --> 00:04:16,922
When a day starts like this,
it's all uphill from here.

66
00:04:17,090 --> 00:04:19,007
That's actually incorrect.

67
00:04:19,175 --> 00:04:21,927
-My dad used to say it.
-No, it's all downhill from here.

68
00:04:22,095 --> 00:04:24,429
Everybody wants to be up.
Nobody wants to be down.

69
00:04:24,597 --> 00:04:27,849
It's easier as you go down.
He didn't know what he was talking about.

70
00:04:28,017 --> 00:04:30,852
-Hey, Shelby? We good?
-We're cool, man. I'll take care of it.

71
00:04:31,020 --> 00:04:32,771
-Okay.
Go get them, Hollywood!

72
00:04:32,939 --> 00:04:35,357
Excuse me. Sir?
You mind picking these up?

73
00:04:35,525 --> 00:04:39,528
I can't. You're not supposed to touch
other people's luggage at an airport.

74
00:04:41,656 --> 00:04:43,365
Handle your own baggage.

75
00:04:58,881 --> 00:04:59,881
Bag check!

76
00:05:01,467 --> 00:05:04,136
-This your bag, sir?
-Is there a problem?

77
00:05:04,304 --> 00:05:07,389
-I'm gonna have to search it real quick, sir.
-Yeah. Feel free.

78
00:05:09,309 --> 00:05:11,268
Mad magazine? That's cute.

79
00:05:11,436 --> 00:05:12,519
That's not mine.

80
00:05:12,687 --> 00:05:14,229
-This is your bag?
-That's not--

81
00:05:16,190 --> 00:05:17,232
Jackpot!

82
00:05:17,400 --> 00:05:20,068
That's definitely not mine.
My bag got switched with this--

83
00:05:20,236 --> 00:05:22,362
-You packed your bag yourself?
-But not that.

84
00:05:22,530 --> 00:05:26,241
I've never done drugs in my life.
This is absolutely-- This is crazy.

85
00:05:26,409 --> 00:05:27,909
Maybe you a drug mule.

86
00:05:28,077 --> 00:05:31,580
-Do I look like a drug mule?
-I don't know, how do drug mules look?

87
00:05:31,748 --> 00:05:33,915
-You're the expert.
-What, like me?

88
00:05:34,083 --> 00:05:35,751
-Who said that?
-Your eyes.

89
00:05:35,918 --> 00:05:39,212
My eyes said something? Did my mouth?
I don't think you look like a--

90
00:05:39,756 --> 00:05:43,133
Do you mind not tossing it up so much?

91
00:05:43,551 --> 00:05:46,053
Whoo! Funky motherfucker, ain't you?

92
00:05:46,512 --> 00:05:48,513
You are so inappropriate, it's crazy.

93
00:05:48,681 --> 00:05:51,058
I been called a lot of things,
but "inappropriate"?

94
00:05:51,225 --> 00:05:53,060
That's some fucked-up shit, yo.

95
00:06:12,955 --> 00:06:15,040
Oh, my goodness.

96
00:06:15,208 --> 00:06:17,459
Look at this, Sonny.

97
00:06:17,627 --> 00:06:18,794
Fancy.

98
00:06:19,754 --> 00:06:20,962
Died and gone to heaven.

99
00:06:51,619 --> 00:06:53,787
Are you not aware
that there's a person here?

100
00:06:53,955 --> 00:06:55,247
Sorry.

101
00:06:55,498 --> 00:06:57,499
Well, hello!

102
00:06:58,501 --> 00:07:00,001
How you doing?

103
00:07:00,169 --> 00:07:02,170
What brings you up to first class?

104
00:07:02,338 --> 00:07:04,339
The seat that I procured--

105
00:07:04,507 --> 00:07:05,674
Oh, sorry.
Excuse me.

106
00:07:05,842 --> 00:07:09,302
I was in low class, and my seat belt
didn't work, and they bumped me up.

107
00:07:09,470 --> 00:07:10,512
It's called economy.

108
00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:13,014
Lucky day. Nice to see you.

109
00:07:14,100 --> 00:07:16,518
Sorry how we met, but, you know....

110
00:07:19,188 --> 00:07:20,856
Oh, you know what?

111
00:07:21,524 --> 00:07:24,985
-I think we switched our bags at the curb.
-I know we did.

112
00:07:25,153 --> 00:07:27,863
Your bag was confiscated.
It had paraphernalia in it.

113
00:07:28,114 --> 00:07:29,197
Marijuana pipe.

114
00:07:29,365 --> 00:07:32,534
Well, that's a medical apparatus.

115
00:07:32,702 --> 00:07:35,120
-I have glaucoma.
-Sure, you have glaucoma.

116
00:07:35,288 --> 00:07:39,541
Attention, in preparation for takeoff,
please turn off all electronic devices...

117
00:07:39,709 --> 00:07:43,587
...and if you have a laptop, please stow it.
Thank you and enjoy your flight.

118
00:07:44,130 --> 00:07:46,882
They made the announcement.
You should turn that off.

119
00:07:47,049 --> 00:07:49,342
-Yeah, I get it.
-Just turn it off. You know why?

120
00:07:49,510 --> 00:07:51,470
-I'm gonna turn it off.
-They get uneasy...

121
00:07:51,637 --> 00:07:55,056
...because they know terrorists use their
phones to trigger bombs in their luggage.

122
00:07:55,224 --> 00:07:56,558
Shh. Pst, pst, pst.

123
00:07:56,726 --> 00:07:59,394
-That's not the word you want to say.
-"Terrorist" or "bomb"?

124
00:07:59,562 --> 00:08:01,396
-You said both the words.
-I understand.

125
00:08:01,564 --> 00:08:05,442
-I'm trying to tell you that I read--
-Stop trying to tell me and listen.

126
00:08:05,610 --> 00:08:08,111
Don't say words
that put people on edge.

127
00:08:08,279 --> 00:08:10,489
I'm trying to be informative.
It's not cool.

128
00:08:10,656 --> 00:08:13,742
Would you and your friend mind
stepping to the front of the plane?

129
00:08:13,910 --> 00:08:14,910
My friend?

130
00:08:15,077 --> 00:08:17,871
I'm sorry, I need you
to come with me, please.

131
00:08:18,039 --> 00:08:21,917
Listen. This clown,
I've never seen before in my life.

132
00:08:22,084 --> 00:08:24,377
That's not true.
We switched bags at curbside.

133
00:08:24,545 --> 00:08:26,588
-That was an accident. And he had--
Sir!

134
00:08:26,756 --> 00:08:29,591
Federal air marshal.
Please step to the front of the plane.

135
00:08:29,759 --> 00:08:31,051
What? Why?

136
00:08:31,219 --> 00:08:32,594
Drop the device.

137
00:08:32,762 --> 00:08:35,430
-It's not a device, it's a BlackBerry.
-Drop the device!

138
00:08:35,598 --> 00:08:37,766
What are you gonna do, rent-a-cop?
Shoot me--?

139
00:08:40,394 --> 00:08:42,521
It's okay, everyone. He'll be fine.

140
00:08:42,688 --> 00:08:44,105
It's only a rubber bullet.

141
00:08:50,530 --> 00:08:53,907
Good news, Mr. Highman.
They found your bags on the airplane.

142
00:08:54,075 --> 00:08:56,993
-Oh, good.
-Unfortunately, that plane's over Kansas.

143
00:08:57,161 --> 00:09:00,330
-Figures.
-But I do have your cell phone for you.

144
00:09:01,415 --> 00:09:04,960
Now, if you wouldn't mind just signing this.
It's a simple release.

145
00:09:05,127 --> 00:09:06,253
So I don't sue you.

146
00:09:06,420 --> 00:09:08,755
Just saying we acted in accordance
with state law.

147
00:09:08,923 --> 00:09:10,924
-Sure did.
-Good.

148
00:09:11,092 --> 00:09:13,802
If you put your address there,
I'll have your bags shipped.

149
00:09:13,970 --> 00:09:18,473
Let them land at LAX and I'll pick them up
when I get there. When's the next flight?

150
00:09:19,141 --> 00:09:21,810
-ln an hour, but you won't be on it.
-Why's that?

151
00:09:21,978 --> 00:09:23,478
You're on the No-Fly list.

152
00:09:25,273 --> 00:09:27,023
-Why?
-It says right here.

153
00:09:27,650 --> 00:09:29,985
-You and your friend.
-Who?

154
00:09:30,152 --> 00:09:33,863
-The gentleman I just interviewed.
-I've never seen that dipshit before.

155
00:09:34,031 --> 00:09:35,073
-Really?
-Yeah.

156
00:09:35,241 --> 00:09:38,952
-He had nice things to say about you.
-I'm on a No-Fly list? This is ridiculous.

157
00:09:39,120 --> 00:09:40,328
-Regardless--
-No.

158
00:09:40,496 --> 00:09:44,291
I have a pregnant wife, I have to get back.
This is a huge misunderstanding.

159
00:09:45,167 --> 00:09:48,336
-What am I supposed to do?
-Have you ever seen Forrest Gump?

160
00:09:48,671 --> 00:09:49,671
Yes.

161
00:09:49,839 --> 00:09:53,133
Well, he ran across country,
and he was pretty stupid.

162
00:09:53,301 --> 00:09:55,343
So I have faith in you.

163
00:09:56,178 --> 00:09:57,846
You're free to leave.

164
00:09:58,097 --> 00:09:59,973
<i>What kind of incident?</i>

165
00:10:00,141 --> 00:10:02,017
I'm probably overstating.

166
00:10:02,184 --> 00:10:04,853
It's the manageable kind.
A micro-incident.

167
00:10:05,021 --> 00:10:09,190
But it unfortunately landed me
on a No-Fly list.

168
00:10:09,525 --> 00:10:11,860
What did you do, Peter?
Did you snap at somebody?

169
00:10:12,028 --> 00:10:15,363
Nope. I did not. I was cool,
calm and collected the whole time.

170
00:10:15,531 --> 00:10:18,658
I was completely in my rights.

171
00:10:18,826 --> 00:10:20,535
<i>You get so carried away sometimes.</i>

172
00:10:20,703 --> 00:10:22,037
How are you gonna get home?

173
00:10:22,204 --> 00:10:24,706
I have a plan.
And the plan is sorting itself out.

174
00:10:24,874 --> 00:10:27,459
-But my wallet is traveling.
-What?

175
00:10:27,627 --> 00:10:30,879
The ID's in it, I've been trying
to rent a car, I had the office fax--

176
00:10:31,047 --> 00:10:33,632
But I am exhausting any
and all opportunities to--

177
00:10:36,344 --> 00:10:39,137
Hey! I've been looking all over for you.

178
00:10:39,305 --> 00:10:42,057
-Stay away from me.
But I found something of yours.

179
00:10:42,850 --> 00:10:45,644
Honey, this might all be solved.
I'll call you right back.

180
00:10:46,020 --> 00:10:47,479
Peter?

181
00:10:48,064 --> 00:10:49,564
You got my stuff?

182
00:10:50,149 --> 00:10:52,692
-I grabbed it before they zip-tied me.
-Rally Monkey?

183
00:10:53,402 --> 00:10:55,278
-You get my wallet?
-I didn't see it.

184
00:10:55,446 --> 00:10:56,696
Where's my bag?

185
00:10:56,864 --> 00:11:00,075
I saw your bag, but I didn't grab it
because my hands were full.

186
00:11:00,242 --> 00:11:02,243
You know, I had this thing in my hand.

187
00:11:02,620 --> 00:11:06,081
-What kind of car did you get?
-I didn't, because I don't have a license...

188
00:11:06,248 --> 00:11:09,209
...because it's in my wallet
that's on the.... Right?

189
00:11:10,044 --> 00:11:11,670
Oh, shoot. What a bummer.

190
00:11:12,254 --> 00:11:13,380
Yeah, bummer.

191
00:11:13,547 --> 00:11:15,298
Thanks for the doll.

192
00:11:16,092 --> 00:11:17,926
Fucking idiot.

193
00:11:18,386 --> 00:11:20,387
Hey, you wanna ride with us?

194
00:11:21,097 --> 00:11:23,598
No, I'm fine.
I'm not really a big dog person.

195
00:11:23,766 --> 00:11:26,184
Look, I know we got off
on the wrong foot.

196
00:11:26,352 --> 00:11:29,396
But I have a really great personality
once you get to know me.

197
00:11:29,563 --> 00:11:31,398
Yeah, I'm sure you do.

198
00:11:31,565 --> 00:11:34,776
I got 90 friends on Facebook.
Twelve pending, but I got 90 friends.

199
00:11:36,779 --> 00:11:38,113
I'll cover expenses.

200
00:11:38,280 --> 00:11:40,365
You can pay me back
when we get to Hollywood.

201
00:11:40,533 --> 00:11:42,242
L.A.
Huh?

202
00:11:42,410 --> 00:11:45,203
It's not called Hollywood.
It's Los Angeles.

203
00:11:45,579 --> 00:11:47,622
Yeah, but I'm going to Hollywood.

204
00:11:48,749 --> 00:11:50,250
What's your name?

205
00:11:50,584 --> 00:11:51,626
Peter.

206
00:11:51,794 --> 00:11:53,712
My name's Ethan. Ethan Tremblay.

207
00:11:53,879 --> 00:11:55,797
And this little guy...

208
00:11:56,132 --> 00:11:57,799
...this little butterball...

209
00:11:57,967 --> 00:11:59,509
...this is Sonny.

210
00:11:59,677 --> 00:12:04,472
And we would be honored
to have you ride with us. Come on.

211
00:12:04,974 --> 00:12:06,558
It'll be fun.

212
00:12:18,988 --> 00:12:21,322
JK. LOL.

213
00:12:21,490 --> 00:12:22,615
"Hop in."

214
00:12:28,748 --> 00:12:30,623
Life's weird, isn't it? Buckle up.

215
00:12:33,753 --> 00:12:36,713
You have any brothers or sisters?
No.

216
00:12:37,631 --> 00:12:40,133
You have a dog?
Nope.

217
00:12:42,595 --> 00:12:44,846
Let me ask you this:
What's your favorite color?

218
00:12:45,139 --> 00:12:47,849
-Blue.
-That's so cool. Mine's green.

219
00:12:48,017 --> 00:12:49,684
Wow.

220
00:12:51,353 --> 00:12:53,521
-Do you like hot dogs?
-Yes, I do.

221
00:12:53,689 --> 00:12:55,482
I'm more of a corn-dog man, myself.

222
00:12:55,649 --> 00:12:58,359
I once ate a foot-long corn dog
on a nude beach.

223
00:12:58,527 --> 00:12:59,944
I'll never do that again.

224
00:13:00,821 --> 00:13:04,199
-At what age did you lose your virginity?
-I'm not gonna discuss that.

225
00:13:04,366 --> 00:13:06,785
-I was 9 years old.
-Boy.

226
00:13:06,952 --> 00:13:08,870
Great gal. Great gal.

227
00:13:09,038 --> 00:13:10,371
Sheila Pimples.

228
00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:13,291
I'm getting a headache,
not because of you.

229
00:13:13,459 --> 00:13:15,502
It's just, I'm under a lot of pressure.

230
00:13:15,669 --> 00:13:17,462
My wife and I are having a baby.

231
00:13:17,630 --> 00:13:20,340
-On Friday. That's who the monkey's for.
-Oh, really?

232
00:13:20,508 --> 00:13:22,050
-Yep. C-section.
-That's sweet.

233
00:13:22,718 --> 00:13:27,305
-So if we could just.... Thanks.
-I understand. God, I totally understand.

234
00:13:27,473 --> 00:13:30,475
I was supposed to meet
a bigtime agent in Hollywood.

235
00:13:30,643 --> 00:13:32,519
Luckily, he postponed.

236
00:13:32,686 --> 00:13:34,312
-So you're an actor.
-Yep.

237
00:13:34,480 --> 00:13:36,314
Yep. You know what?

238
00:13:36,482 --> 00:13:39,651
In fact, I wouldn't mind having
a fresh pair of eyes--

239
00:13:39,819 --> 00:13:41,069
Hey, hey, hey.

240
00:13:43,030 --> 00:13:44,739
My apologies. Look at this.

241
00:13:44,907 --> 00:13:48,034
-Okay. If you'd just look at the road.
-I got it.

242
00:13:48,202 --> 00:13:50,078
-Oh, your headshots.
-Headshots.

243
00:13:50,246 --> 00:13:53,081
This one, this is a laid-back guy
with a Hawaiian shirt...

244
00:13:53,249 --> 00:13:54,582
...but he packs a piece.

245
00:13:54,750 --> 00:13:56,084
-lnteresting.
-Yep.

246
00:13:57,211 --> 00:13:58,962
This one was my father's favorite.

247
00:13:59,338 --> 00:14:01,756
He says it really showed my spirit.

248
00:14:01,924 --> 00:14:03,091
And I agree with him.

249
00:14:04,260 --> 00:14:05,385
What's that, a--?

250
00:14:05,553 --> 00:14:08,721
That's a gang member,
a construction worker, and....

251
00:14:08,889 --> 00:14:10,265
And a nerd. A professor.

252
00:14:10,558 --> 00:14:12,684
No. I'm Malcolm X.

253
00:14:21,485 --> 00:14:24,195
He thinks he's human. So stupid.

254
00:14:26,824 --> 00:14:29,325
What brought you to Atlanta?
Business or pleasure?

255
00:14:29,493 --> 00:14:30,785
-Business.
-Business.

256
00:14:31,662 --> 00:14:33,121
What kind of business?

257
00:14:33,455 --> 00:14:35,123
Architecture.

258
00:14:35,291 --> 00:14:38,793
-How'd you get into architecture?
-College. Anything else?

259
00:14:38,961 --> 00:14:40,795
-Because I'm trying to--
-I'm sorry.

260
00:14:40,963 --> 00:14:44,465
We're gonna be traveling.
It wouldn't hurt to get to know each other.

261
00:14:45,092 --> 00:14:46,551
Okay.

262
00:14:46,969 --> 00:14:49,846
Ethan, what brought you to Atlanta?
Business or pleasure?

263
00:14:50,014 --> 00:14:51,306
My daddy died.

264
00:14:51,473 --> 00:14:53,308
I went to Atlanta to go to his funeral.

265
00:14:53,475 --> 00:14:56,311
Gee, I didn't know. I'm sorry.

266
00:14:56,478 --> 00:14:59,230
He was a great guy, man.
That's why I'm heading out West.

267
00:14:59,398 --> 00:15:01,649
He's the one that motivated me
to get on the TV.

268
00:15:02,192 --> 00:15:04,152
<i>-TV?</i>
-Yeah.

269
00:15:04,987 --> 00:15:06,446
Tough business to break into.

270
00:15:06,989 --> 00:15:08,114
So competitive.

271
00:15:08,282 --> 00:15:10,283
I have a friend, he's in that industry.

272
00:15:10,451 --> 00:15:13,202
-Does he work on Two and a HalfMen?
-No. He--

273
00:15:13,370 --> 00:15:15,788
That's too bad.
<i>Because Two and a Half Men...</i>

274
00:15:15,956 --> 00:15:18,082
...is the reason I wanted
to become an actor.

275
00:15:18,250 --> 00:15:20,043
-Right.
-Especially the second season.

276
00:15:21,712 --> 00:15:22,962
Here's the plan.

277
00:15:23,130 --> 00:15:25,173
We are just outside Birmingham...

278
00:15:25,341 --> 00:15:29,677
...and we got a late start, so we will
only make it just to inside Louisiana.

279
00:15:29,845 --> 00:15:31,304
Early to bed, early to rise.

280
00:15:31,472 --> 00:15:35,558
Long 1 6- to 1 8-hour haul,
which will land us in Phoenix, Arizona.

281
00:15:35,726 --> 00:15:38,227
-Eight hours outside of L.A.
-You know what'd be nice?

282
00:15:38,395 --> 00:15:40,146
If we could stop at the Grand Canyon.

283
00:15:40,314 --> 00:15:42,190
We're not going to the Grand Canyon.

284
00:15:42,358 --> 00:15:44,901
That would be easily 1 20 miles off
our optimum route.

285
00:15:45,069 --> 00:15:46,235
That's too bad.

286
00:15:47,863 --> 00:15:49,864
Daddy would've loved
the Grand Canyon.

287
00:15:50,032 --> 00:15:51,324
Why do you even have this?

288
00:15:51,492 --> 00:15:53,660
Oh, because this is my daddy.

289
00:15:53,869 --> 00:15:55,036
These are his ashes.

290
00:15:57,039 --> 00:15:59,874
Why are your father's ashes
in a coffee can, Ethan?

291
00:16:00,209 --> 00:16:02,210
Because he's dead, Peter.

292
00:16:02,378 --> 00:16:05,046
-I know. I know that part.
-Don't you listen to anything?

293
00:16:05,214 --> 00:16:08,716
I'm just saying,
normal people put remains in an urn.

294
00:16:09,051 --> 00:16:10,510
This is vacuum-sealed.

295
00:16:10,678 --> 00:16:13,179
You broke the seal
when you poured out the coffee.

296
00:16:13,347 --> 00:16:16,891
You poured your father's remains in
and closed it. That didn't reseal it.

297
00:16:18,060 --> 00:16:20,603
That's the dumbest thing
I've ever heard in my life.

298
00:16:26,443 --> 00:16:29,070
God. We shouldn't have come here.

299
00:16:30,072 --> 00:16:32,031
I'm allergic to waffles.

300
00:16:36,453 --> 00:16:38,454
Come on, Sonny. Thank you.

301
00:16:39,581 --> 00:16:42,417
We need to make a brief pit stop
in Birmingham.

302
00:16:42,584 --> 00:16:45,420
Actually, our next stop is Shreveport.
That's where we rest.

303
00:16:45,587 --> 00:16:48,089
-It's 1 0 minutes away.
-Let's see if we can make it.

304
00:16:48,257 --> 00:16:51,134
Why you making a pit stop in Birmingham?
We gotta make time.

305
00:16:51,301 --> 00:16:53,261
I left my glaucoma medication
on the plane.

306
00:16:53,429 --> 00:16:55,263
Wait, wait, wait. Your what?

307
00:16:55,431 --> 00:16:56,931
You mean your weed?

308
00:16:57,099 --> 00:16:59,475
-It's medical marijuana, Peter.
-No, it's weed.

309
00:16:59,643 --> 00:17:01,978
-Why do you make everything so dark?
-It's weed.

310
00:17:02,146 --> 00:17:05,398
I'm saying I really don't want to stop
and buy drugs. Is that okay?

311
00:17:05,649 --> 00:17:08,776
I didn't want to play this card,
certainly not this early.

312
00:17:08,944 --> 00:17:11,779
But guess what. Guess who's got
the Subaru lmpreza. Me.

313
00:17:11,947 --> 00:17:13,656
Guess who's got all the money. Me.

314
00:17:13,824 --> 00:17:16,284
Guess who's got
a winning personality. Me.

315
00:17:16,452 --> 00:17:19,245
What do you have?
You have a nice hairline, fine.

316
00:17:19,413 --> 00:17:20,788
You have a strong jaw, fine.

317
00:17:20,956 --> 00:17:22,915
But I gotta tell you something, mister.

318
00:17:23,083 --> 00:17:25,460
Your personality needs some work.

319
00:17:25,627 --> 00:17:27,003
My God.

320
00:17:27,171 --> 00:17:29,589
Now, do you want a ride
to California or not?

321
00:17:29,757 --> 00:17:32,175
-Yes, please.
-Good. Hold Dad.

322
00:17:32,342 --> 00:17:34,969
-Dad!
-I'm sorry. I got it. I got it, I got it.

323
00:17:38,640 --> 00:17:42,268
Okay. God Almighty, holy moly.
It's like I'm traveling with a child.

324
00:17:42,436 --> 00:17:45,104
-Did you use the restroom?
-I need to take a pee-pee.

325
00:17:48,275 --> 00:17:50,610
Peter?
-Crisis averted, I'm driving.

326
00:17:50,778 --> 00:17:52,487
<i>-Driving how?</i>
-Let me talk to her.

327
00:17:52,654 --> 00:17:56,157
With a guy-- Please don't.
With a guy that I met in a rent-a-car.

328
00:17:56,325 --> 00:17:58,993
You're gonna drive 2000 miles
with a guy you just met?

329
00:17:59,161 --> 00:18:00,286
Say hi to--

330
00:18:00,454 --> 00:18:03,873
Sarah? Hi, this is Ethan Tremblay.
I'm riding with Peter. How are you?

331
00:18:04,291 --> 00:18:06,209
I'm fine. How are you?

332
00:18:06,376 --> 00:18:10,004
Good, good. I wanted to let you know
I have your package, and he is A-okay.

333
00:18:10,172 --> 00:18:12,340
<i>And I will have him</i>
<i>delivered by Thursday.</i>

334
00:18:12,508 --> 00:18:14,675
Thank you so much.

335
00:18:14,843 --> 00:18:17,970
Hey, Sarah? One other thing.
Do you have a hairdresser out West?

336
00:18:18,138 --> 00:18:20,640
I got this killer perm,
and it needs major upkeep.

337
00:18:21,058 --> 00:18:23,226
I'm sorry, did you say
that you have a perm?

338
00:18:23,393 --> 00:18:25,186
Yeah, a perm. Like a permanent.

339
00:18:25,354 --> 00:18:27,021
It's heinous.
<i>Do you mind?</i>

340
00:18:27,189 --> 00:18:30,066
-Can I just talk to my husband, please?
-Yeah. Okay, hold on.

341
00:18:30,234 --> 00:18:32,193
-She wants to talk to you.
-I know.

342
00:18:32,361 --> 00:18:34,570
-So that's what I'm dealing with.
<i>-Oh, my God.</i>

343
00:18:34,738 --> 00:18:37,031
Yep. God bless us all.

344
00:18:38,700 --> 00:18:40,743
-Stop worrying.
-I'm not worried.

345
00:18:40,911 --> 00:18:43,955
She's very legitimate.
I found her on Craigslist.

346
00:18:44,123 --> 00:18:45,289
Who is it?

347
00:18:45,457 --> 00:18:46,499
Fantastic.

348
00:18:47,251 --> 00:18:49,252
Hi. It's Ethan. I called you earlier.

349
00:18:50,921 --> 00:18:54,298
Honestly, like two minutes, okay?
Just buy it and then go.

350
00:18:54,466 --> 00:18:55,508
-Hey.
-Hi.

351
00:18:55,676 --> 00:18:57,718
-That was fast.
-Yeah, we were very close.

352
00:18:57,886 --> 00:19:00,221
I'm Ethan, this is Peter.

353
00:19:00,389 --> 00:19:03,724
-Are you a cop?
-Why? Are you not a licensed pharmacist?

354
00:19:03,892 --> 00:19:06,686
Okay, you just look really official.

355
00:19:06,854 --> 00:19:10,940
And you know if I ask you if you're a cop
and you are a cop, you have to say yes.

356
00:19:11,108 --> 00:19:13,734
That's a myth. That's actually incorrect.
But I'm not.

357
00:19:13,902 --> 00:19:16,696
-No, he's an architect.
-I'm an architect. So....

358
00:19:16,864 --> 00:19:18,948
-Wait, it's a myth?
-Yeah.

359
00:19:20,367 --> 00:19:23,202
Shit! I did not know that
this whole fucking time.

360
00:19:23,370 --> 00:19:26,205
-That's good news.
-You're fucking scary, is what you are.

361
00:19:26,373 --> 00:19:28,875
-Come in. The pharmacy's in the kitchen.
-Thank you.

362
00:19:29,042 --> 00:19:33,379
Hey, Peter, can you watch my kids just for
five minutes, while we han-- You know.

363
00:19:33,922 --> 00:19:36,007
-Real quick.
-Thanks.

364
00:19:47,936 --> 00:19:49,604
Who are you?

365
00:19:50,147 --> 00:19:51,272
I'm Peter.

366
00:19:51,440 --> 00:19:53,733
I'm Alex. This is Patrick.

367
00:19:53,901 --> 00:19:58,237
Great. Alex. Mommy gave you
a boy's name.

368
00:19:58,405 --> 00:19:59,864
What's that supposed to mean?

369
00:20:00,240 --> 00:20:02,241
Alex is also a name for a boy.

370
00:20:02,409 --> 00:20:04,619
So your mom kind of screwed you.

371
00:20:10,500 --> 00:20:12,335
Sorry, my hand slipped.

372
00:20:19,009 --> 00:20:23,638
That one I just got in. It's an Afghan blend
of Wild Widow and AK-47.

373
00:20:23,805 --> 00:20:26,349
You know, I'm not crazy about blends.

374
00:20:26,642 --> 00:20:29,310
I find that the high is a bit shapeless.

375
00:20:29,478 --> 00:20:31,812
A purist. Well, that's cool.

376
00:20:31,980 --> 00:20:33,940
You'd probably love Northern Lights.

377
00:20:34,107 --> 00:20:38,819
I mean, this has got great body.
It smokes like a fucking dream.

378
00:20:39,988 --> 00:20:42,657
Oh, that's just Barry.
He's renting a room from me.

379
00:20:42,824 --> 00:20:45,159
Hey, Barry. How you doing? I'm Ethan.

380
00:20:45,827 --> 00:20:48,788
Listen, did you remember to TiVo
<i>Judge Mathis?</i>

381
00:20:48,956 --> 00:20:51,707
Yeah. It's on there,
if you just look at the menu.

382
00:20:51,875 --> 00:20:55,127
Nice perm, man. Well done.
Well done on that perm.

383
00:20:55,295 --> 00:20:58,089
Oh, thanks, bro.
It's not a perm, it's natural.

384
00:20:58,257 --> 00:21:00,508
Nobody gets perms anymore.

385
00:21:01,343 --> 00:21:03,678
Wait, wait. Don't tell me. Is that a perm?

386
00:21:04,471 --> 00:21:06,013
Yeah. It's a perm. Yeah.

387
00:21:07,849 --> 00:21:10,226
Oh, my God.
You didn't have your real hair.

388
00:21:10,394 --> 00:21:13,354
-Where do you even get those anymore?
-I know! It's like....

389
00:21:16,024 --> 00:21:18,693
I was just kidding about--
This isn't a perm.

390
00:21:18,860 --> 00:21:21,487
Excuse me?
-This isn't a perm. I was joking.

391
00:21:21,863 --> 00:21:24,240
-Oh, my God. Thank God. Because I was--
-Ha, ha!

392
00:21:24,408 --> 00:21:26,659
You got us. You got us both, man.

393
00:21:26,827 --> 00:21:29,870
You know, only, like,
fucking jerk-offs get perms.

394
00:21:30,038 --> 00:21:32,832
-That was good. Very good.
-That was hilarious.

395
00:21:37,754 --> 00:21:40,715
-Where are you from?
-Los Angeles.

396
00:21:40,882 --> 00:21:43,342
-Is that where you're going?
Mm-hm.

397
00:21:43,593 --> 00:21:44,927
Can you take us with you?

398
00:21:47,222 --> 00:21:50,850
No, but there's an organization
called Child Protective Services.

399
00:21:51,018 --> 00:21:53,936
-What's this?
-It's a tie. You've never seen a tie before?

400
00:21:54,563 --> 00:21:55,604
Why do you wear it?

401
00:21:55,772 --> 00:21:57,189
Because I wear it.

402
00:21:57,357 --> 00:21:59,567
-It looks stupid.
-Well, it's not.

403
00:21:59,735 --> 00:22:02,069
Just take your hands off of me.

404
00:22:03,613 --> 00:22:05,114
Please stop doing that.

405
00:22:06,199 --> 00:22:08,367
Stop. Please stop doing that now.

406
00:22:08,535 --> 00:22:10,077
-Will you please--?
-It's Reggie.

407
00:22:10,245 --> 00:22:13,372
Is that right? Well, maybe Reggie
needs to take a nap.

408
00:22:16,126 --> 00:22:18,586
Hey, quit it. I'm not kidding.

409
00:22:24,760 --> 00:22:26,469
You okay, bubba?

410
00:22:34,644 --> 00:22:36,937
-What?
-Nothing.

411
00:22:37,814 --> 00:22:39,607
"Nothing" is right.

412
00:22:40,650 --> 00:22:43,861
And now, you come to me and you say:

413
00:22:44,029 --> 00:22:48,741
"Don Corleone, give me justice."

414
00:22:51,453 --> 00:22:55,623
But you don't even have the decency
to call me the Godfather.

415
00:22:57,084 --> 00:22:58,918
And you come to my house...

416
00:22:59,252 --> 00:23:02,338
...on the day that my daughter
is to be married...

417
00:23:02,506 --> 00:23:04,924
...and you ask me to kill someone.

418
00:23:05,092 --> 00:23:07,343
For money.

419
00:23:08,261 --> 00:23:11,847
But that is not justice.

420
00:23:16,978 --> 00:23:20,648
That's amazing.
I had chills, like, that second paragraph.

421
00:23:20,816 --> 00:23:23,692
When the line-- The murder.
That is so fucking good, Ethan.

422
00:23:23,860 --> 00:23:27,196
Thank you. I've been
working on the hand gestures to get it right.

423
00:23:27,364 --> 00:23:29,615
Did you write that yourself?

424
00:23:29,783 --> 00:23:31,659
No. The Mafia wrote it.

425
00:23:33,453 --> 00:23:35,704
Oh, that was so--
It was nice meeting you, anyway.

426
00:23:35,872 --> 00:23:37,748
Play it cool, or I'll thump you again.

427
00:23:37,916 --> 00:23:39,834
Sure, sure. You all set?

428
00:23:40,001 --> 00:23:41,168
Yeah. Good to go.

429
00:23:41,336 --> 00:23:43,504
How were they?
They behave themselves?

430
00:23:43,672 --> 00:23:46,006
Pretty much. Pretty much.

431
00:23:46,174 --> 00:23:47,174
Oh, good.
Yeah.

432
00:23:47,342 --> 00:23:49,343
I mean, they're great kids.

433
00:23:49,719 --> 00:23:51,345
We good?

434
00:23:54,057 --> 00:23:56,350
-See you. Good luck.
Bye-bye. Bye.

435
00:23:56,518 --> 00:23:59,228
Good luck with your acting stuff.

436
00:24:26,089 --> 00:24:28,048
<i>--is judging the character.</i>

437
00:24:28,216 --> 00:24:29,884
<i>When an actor is preparing a scene...</i>

438
00:24:30,051 --> 00:24:33,387
<i>...first thing is read the scene over</i>
<i>many times.</i>

439
00:24:33,555 --> 00:24:37,558
<i>First, before you do any work on it,</i>
<i>let it work on you.</i>

440
00:24:37,726 --> 00:24:42,480
<i>Read the material over and over again.</i>
<i>The entire script, if at all possible.</i>

441
00:24:42,647 --> 00:24:44,899
Hey, Hollywood.

442
00:24:45,692 --> 00:24:46,734
Card's been declined.

443
00:24:47,527 --> 00:24:50,237
-What's that?
-Your card? It's no good.

444
00:24:50,405 --> 00:24:51,906
-Oh, gosh.
-It's okay.

445
00:24:52,073 --> 00:24:55,075
You know what? I bet I tapped it out
when I rented this car.

446
00:24:55,243 --> 00:24:57,578
Great. We'll pay cash.
How much you got?

447
00:24:57,746 --> 00:24:58,913
Sixty bucks.

448
00:24:59,414 --> 00:25:03,167
You have 60 bucks entirely?

449
00:25:03,585 --> 00:25:05,794
-Yes.
-How much did you spend on marijuana?

450
00:25:05,962 --> 00:25:08,339
-On your medicine?
-I don't know, around 200 bucks.

451
00:25:08,507 --> 00:25:09,840
-Two hundred bucks?
-Yeah.

452
00:25:10,008 --> 00:25:12,301
Sixty bucks for gas, food,
lodging, everything?

453
00:25:12,469 --> 00:25:14,803
She's the only dealer in town.
She names her price.

454
00:25:14,971 --> 00:25:19,225
What were you thinking when you spent
almost all of our money on drugs?

455
00:25:19,392 --> 00:25:21,977
-I don't think in those terms.
-What terms do you think in?

456
00:25:22,145 --> 00:25:24,146
I'm not an accountant.
I'm not even Jewish.

457
00:25:24,481 --> 00:25:27,608
-Are you an adult?
-Of course I'm an adult. I'm 23 years old.

458
00:25:27,776 --> 00:25:30,778
You are the most shot-out
23-year-old I've ever seen.

459
00:25:30,946 --> 00:25:33,906
How have you made it?
How have you not run yourself over?

460
00:25:34,533 --> 00:25:35,574
I've done that.

461
00:25:35,742 --> 00:25:38,452
How have you survived?
That's my question.

462
00:25:38,620 --> 00:25:40,120
-Mostly luck.
-Yeah.

463
00:25:40,288 --> 00:25:42,081
That's what I thought.
Just dumb fucking luck.

464
00:25:43,458 --> 00:25:45,334
-Fuck me.
-Whoa! For heaven's sakes, Peter.

465
00:25:45,502 --> 00:25:46,919
-We're screwed, Ethan.
-How so?

466
00:25:47,087 --> 00:25:50,297
-You spent all our money on weed!
-It's just another speed bump.

467
00:25:50,465 --> 00:25:54,009
You know what? I'm gonna call my wife.
She's gonna wire me money. That's it.

468
00:25:55,136 --> 00:25:57,012
She can't. You don't have an lD.

469
00:25:57,639 --> 00:26:00,849
She'll wire it to you.
See? That's an adult solving a problem.

470
00:26:01,810 --> 00:26:03,936
-Let's go.
-I told you I was lucky.

471
00:26:04,104 --> 00:26:05,646
Get in the car.

472
00:26:08,984 --> 00:26:12,486
Hold on one second. I'm gonna go get
a brochure for my scrapbook, okay?

473
00:26:17,367 --> 00:26:21,537
-How do you spell the last name?
T-R-E-M-B-L-A-Y.

474
00:26:22,747 --> 00:26:25,833
Here we go.
Five hundred dollars. Ethan Tremblay.

475
00:26:26,001 --> 00:26:28,002
I just need to see an ID.

476
00:26:30,213 --> 00:26:31,880
There you go.

477
00:26:36,303 --> 00:26:38,304
Yeah, this doesn't say Tremblay.

478
00:26:38,471 --> 00:26:39,638
It says Ethan Chase.

479
00:26:40,849 --> 00:26:43,726
Oh, jeepers creepers.
He's right, he's right.

480
00:26:43,893 --> 00:26:45,519
What do you mean, "he's right"?

481
00:26:45,687 --> 00:26:47,855
Ethan Tremblay is my stage name.
I'm an actor.

482
00:26:48,023 --> 00:26:50,691
-Your stage name. What is your real name?
-Ethan Chase.

483
00:26:50,859 --> 00:26:53,861
-It doesn't sound like an actor's name.
-Ethan Chase does.

484
00:26:54,029 --> 00:26:56,196
Ethan Tremblay doesn't
make any goddamn sense.

485
00:26:56,364 --> 00:26:58,324
It sounds like it was made up.

486
00:26:58,491 --> 00:26:59,742
Yeah, I made it up.

487
00:26:59,909 --> 00:27:03,370
Ethan, I know you made it up.
It's your fucking stage name.

488
00:27:03,538 --> 00:27:06,081
Why did you have my wife wire money
to your stage name?

489
00:27:06,249 --> 00:27:07,875
-I wasn't thinking.
-Right.

490
00:27:08,043 --> 00:27:10,586
Just trying to commit to the new name.

491
00:27:10,754 --> 00:27:13,714
Do you guys wanna discuss this,
perhaps out in the parking lot?

492
00:27:13,882 --> 00:27:16,592
One sec. Do you have anything else
with your name on it?

493
00:27:19,012 --> 00:27:20,554
-Yes. Of course. Yes, yes.
Good.

494
00:27:20,722 --> 00:27:21,889
What was I thinking?

495
00:27:22,557 --> 00:27:25,559
He has two names.
-That's fantastic.

496
00:27:26,102 --> 00:27:27,811
But one sec.

497
00:27:30,982 --> 00:27:33,525
-What the fuck is this?
-It's an ID.

498
00:27:33,693 --> 00:27:35,361
It's a photo lD.

499
00:27:35,528 --> 00:27:37,488
-No, I can't accept this either.
-Why?

500
00:27:37,656 --> 00:27:40,741
Because it's a picture of yourself.
Anyone could take a picture...

501
00:27:40,909 --> 00:27:43,744
...in a beautiful turtleneck,
put whatever name they want.

502
00:27:43,912 --> 00:27:47,081
But why go to all that trouble
just for 500 bucks?

503
00:27:47,248 --> 00:27:49,208
I don't know why you would,
but you could.

504
00:27:49,376 --> 00:27:53,379
So I get to call my pregnant wife and have
her drive all the way to Western Union.

505
00:27:53,546 --> 00:27:57,049
Start this whole process all over again,
send it to the correct name...

506
00:27:57,217 --> 00:27:58,258
...and we'll be good.

507
00:27:58,426 --> 00:28:00,219
-Absolutely.
Great.

508
00:28:00,387 --> 00:28:03,097
We'll have to do that tomorrow.
We close in five minutes.

509
00:28:03,264 --> 00:28:05,265
It's 6:35, sir.

510
00:28:05,433 --> 00:28:07,434
What are you, my boss?
You make the hours?

511
00:28:07,602 --> 00:28:11,438
I say when we close. I got reservations
at Chili's. I'm meeting my boys.

512
00:28:11,606 --> 00:28:14,066
-You have a reservation at Chili's?
Mm-hm.

513
00:28:15,276 --> 00:28:18,570
That's actually smart. I mean,
it gets busy on a Wednesday night.

514
00:28:20,490 --> 00:28:21,740
Are you gonna stare at me?

515
00:28:21,908 --> 00:28:24,618
Do your fucking job
until your shift is over, hillbilly.

516
00:28:24,786 --> 00:28:27,413
-Keep dreaming, faggot. No way in hell.
-Oh, really?

517
00:28:27,580 --> 00:28:30,249
Excuse me, Peter. Sir.

518
00:28:32,001 --> 00:28:35,796
I'm sorry about my friend. We really just
need the money to get to Los Angeles...

519
00:28:35,964 --> 00:28:38,465
...so he can be there
for the birth of his first child.

520
00:28:39,008 --> 00:28:42,469
That's such a sweet story. You know
where I was when my daughter was born?

521
00:28:42,637 --> 00:28:44,805
Chili's?
-Iraq.

522
00:28:45,014 --> 00:28:49,017
How about I call my sergeant in Fallujah
and tell him your story, see what he thinks?

523
00:28:49,185 --> 00:28:51,854
Aren't you closing?
Is it gonna take a long time?

524
00:28:52,021 --> 00:28:54,690
He's being sarcastic, Ethan,
and also letting us know...

525
00:28:54,858 --> 00:28:57,192
...that he's a "battle-hardened" veteran...

526
00:28:57,360 --> 00:29:00,362
...who did some half-assed tour
and talks about it all the time.

527
00:29:00,530 --> 00:29:02,030
How dare you.

528
00:29:02,824 --> 00:29:05,868
-Smooth move, that.
-You're sick.

529
00:29:06,119 --> 00:29:08,495
You fucked up. Bigtime.

530
00:29:08,705 --> 00:29:10,164
-I fucked up?
-Yeah.

531
00:29:10,540 --> 00:29:11,874
I fucked up bigtime?

532
00:29:12,041 --> 00:29:14,168
You spit on your own window.

533
00:29:15,128 --> 00:29:17,838
-Let's get out of here.
-Hey, sport?

534
00:29:18,840 --> 00:29:21,675
What were you saying about
my half-assed tour of duty?

535
00:29:21,843 --> 00:29:24,386
-I'm sorry. I had no idea.
No idea what?

536
00:29:24,554 --> 00:29:26,054
-I'm handicapable?
Handicapable.

537
00:29:26,222 --> 00:29:28,974
-How could you know?
-I couldn't know, and I'm sorry.

538
00:29:29,517 --> 00:29:33,312
Can I tell you something? Honestly,
it's my fault. I'm just having a bad day.

539
00:29:33,480 --> 00:29:34,730
You had a bad day?
-Yeah.

540
00:29:34,898 --> 00:29:37,149
It's about to get a whole lot worse.

541
00:29:37,317 --> 00:29:39,485
-Okay, now put that away before you--
Help!

542
00:29:40,570 --> 00:29:42,154
Oh, I know that shit hurt, huh?

543
00:29:42,322 --> 00:29:43,697
-Ah. Fucking hick.
Oh, God.

544
00:29:43,865 --> 00:29:45,032
The kid's got moves.

545
00:29:45,200 --> 00:29:47,868
You wanna fuck up my dinner plans,
I'll fuck you up.

546
00:29:49,370 --> 00:29:51,330
I call that little move "the wheelbarrow."

547
00:29:51,581 --> 00:29:54,041
Peter, get up, get up.
-Come on. Come on.

548
00:29:58,588 --> 00:30:01,048
-Courtesy of Western Union, huh?
-Hold on one second.

549
00:30:01,674 --> 00:30:03,717
-Oh, where you going, huh?
Call the cops.

550
00:30:04,093 --> 00:30:05,511
Fuck the cops.

551
00:30:05,678 --> 00:30:06,929
Here comes the train.
Choo-choo!

552
00:30:11,726 --> 00:30:14,561
<i>It's closing time</i>

553
00:30:14,729 --> 00:30:16,230
<i>Time to roll to Chili's</i>

554
00:30:16,397 --> 00:30:19,775
<i>And chow down with my fuckin' boys</i>

555
00:30:39,587 --> 00:30:40,587
You okay, buddy?

556
00:30:40,755 --> 00:30:44,758
Don't call me that. Buddies have each
other's backs when an assault takes place.

557
00:30:44,926 --> 00:30:46,510
Peter, that man was handicapped.

558
00:30:46,928 --> 00:30:49,930
You can call me Peter. Or Mr. Highman.

559
00:30:50,098 --> 00:30:54,184
I'll call you Mr. Chase.
Unless that was a fake lD too.

560
00:30:57,438 --> 00:31:00,274
Why you have a stage name is beyond me.
You're not really an actor.

561
00:31:00,441 --> 00:31:03,318
What does that mean, "really an actor"?
What is a real actor?

562
00:31:03,486 --> 00:31:05,612
A real actor is someone
who can really act.

563
00:31:05,780 --> 00:31:08,448
Well, go ahead, give me an action to do.
Give me a scene.

564
00:31:08,616 --> 00:31:10,367
-No. I don't want to.
-You should.

565
00:31:10,618 --> 00:31:12,536
Okay. I'm Julia Roberts.

566
00:31:12,704 --> 00:31:14,663
You have terminal cancer.

567
00:31:14,831 --> 00:31:16,748
We're engaged.

568
00:31:17,125 --> 00:31:18,333
Break the news to me.

569
00:31:20,169 --> 00:31:22,045
Julia Roberts...

570
00:31:22,213 --> 00:31:24,548
...as you know, we're engaged.

571
00:31:25,633 --> 00:31:27,801
I have terminal cancer.

572
00:31:30,138 --> 00:31:31,179
Awful.

573
00:31:31,347 --> 00:31:33,223
-What?
-Sorry, that's my feedback.

574
00:31:33,391 --> 00:31:35,392
-I thought that was really good.
-Nope.

575
00:31:35,560 --> 00:31:38,896
I'll give you one more shot.
It's Super Bowl Sunday.

576
00:31:39,188 --> 00:31:41,481
You're a coach with a spotty career.

577
00:31:41,649 --> 00:31:44,192
You're down 31 points.

578
00:31:44,360 --> 00:31:46,570
Bust into the locker room
and fire the guys up.

579
00:31:46,738 --> 00:31:48,530
All or nothing. Action.

580
00:31:48,698 --> 00:31:52,326
-Stupid. That would never be in a movie.
-It's in a movie every two years.

581
00:31:52,911 --> 00:31:54,912
Every two years.

582
00:32:00,168 --> 00:32:03,503
Okay, guys, we need to get out there.

583
00:32:03,671 --> 00:32:06,924
Really need to get going.
Pollard, what are you doing?

584
00:32:07,091 --> 00:32:10,719
You're acting like a girl out there.
What are you, a girl or something?

585
00:32:12,055 --> 00:32:15,057
Jackson, come on, man,
you gotta get yourself together.

586
00:32:15,224 --> 00:32:18,936
-What are you, a girl or something?
-Let's up the stakes. Your wife calls.

587
00:32:19,103 --> 00:32:20,354
She wants a divorce.

588
00:32:21,105 --> 00:32:23,857
-The coach's wife?
-The coach you're playing.

589
00:32:24,025 --> 00:32:26,985
His wife calls. She wants a divorce.

590
00:32:27,236 --> 00:32:28,904
Ring-ring.

591
00:32:30,949 --> 00:32:32,449
Hello?

592
00:32:33,743 --> 00:32:38,705
Hey, fellas, it's gonna be a minute.
It's my wife. She wants a divorce.

593
00:32:42,418 --> 00:32:44,169
Hey, sweetheart.

594
00:32:45,213 --> 00:32:46,880
What's that?

595
00:32:47,632 --> 00:32:49,299
No, don't--

596
00:32:50,385 --> 00:32:52,427
This is not a good time.

597
00:33:06,901 --> 00:33:11,113
Because I lost my dad,
I don't want you to leave me right now.

598
00:33:17,120 --> 00:33:19,454
I don't wanna be left alone.

599
00:33:24,919 --> 00:33:27,421
I miss him so much.

600
00:33:28,089 --> 00:33:30,132
You can't do this.

601
00:34:00,329 --> 00:34:02,122
I got soda. I got water.

602
00:34:02,290 --> 00:34:04,207
Okay. Great.

603
00:34:08,129 --> 00:34:09,629
Thank you.

604
00:34:10,506 --> 00:34:13,258
-Crazy rain.
-Nuts.

605
00:34:15,303 --> 00:34:18,263
I think we're done for today.
We'll sleep in the car.

606
00:34:18,973 --> 00:34:20,307
Okay.

607
00:34:22,351 --> 00:34:25,520
We'll kill it tomorrow. But this is....

608
00:34:32,528 --> 00:34:35,530
So tell me something about your dad.
What did he do for a living?

609
00:34:36,074 --> 00:34:37,491
He was a toll-booth operator.

610
00:34:37,658 --> 00:34:38,742
Really?

611
00:34:38,910 --> 00:34:42,204
He was a real people person.
He loved his job.

612
00:34:42,371 --> 00:34:46,083
He'd come home every night and he'd laugh
about how long his line was.

613
00:34:46,250 --> 00:34:49,836
Because he enjoyed talking to everybody
that went through the toll booth.

614
00:34:50,379 --> 00:34:51,838
Oh.

615
00:34:53,424 --> 00:34:55,592
What about you? Where's your dad?

616
00:34:55,760 --> 00:34:57,469
Uh....

617
00:34:58,596 --> 00:35:00,180
No idea.

618
00:35:02,266 --> 00:35:03,850
When's the last time you saw him?

619
00:35:04,227 --> 00:35:05,852
1977.

620
00:35:06,229 --> 00:35:07,646
Ooh.

621
00:35:08,439 --> 00:35:09,564
Ouch.

622
00:35:11,025 --> 00:35:14,486
Yep. Came into my room, said,
"Petey, I got an important job for you.

623
00:35:14,654 --> 00:35:17,948
I need you to wake me up,
5:30 tomorrow morning."

624
00:35:18,366 --> 00:35:22,744
And I was ecstatic because
he never asked me to do anything.

625
00:35:22,912 --> 00:35:27,958
I didn't even know I existed
in his eyes. So....

626
00:35:28,417 --> 00:35:30,710
It was just a big deal. I was so excited.

627
00:35:30,878 --> 00:35:35,132
I set the alarm clock. I could barely sleep.
I just watched it all night.

628
00:35:35,299 --> 00:35:38,093
When it went off at 5:30,
I snuck into his room...

629
00:35:38,761 --> 00:35:41,138
...I gingerly wake him up.

630
00:35:42,223 --> 00:35:44,891
He smiled at me.

631
00:35:45,059 --> 00:35:47,060
First time I ever saw him...

632
00:35:52,024 --> 00:35:54,818
...uh, smile.

633
00:35:55,987 --> 00:35:58,155
But he had his bags packed
by the front door...

634
00:35:58,322 --> 00:36:01,366
...and he picked them up,
put them in the back of his car...

635
00:36:02,618 --> 00:36:04,744
...and drove away.

636
00:36:05,955 --> 00:36:07,873
Last time I ever saw him.

637
00:36:15,631 --> 00:36:17,799
It's so funny.

638
00:36:23,306 --> 00:36:25,098
Oh, my gosh.

639
00:36:25,433 --> 00:36:28,101
My dad would never do that.
He loved me.

640
00:36:45,203 --> 00:36:46,369
What's that sound?

641
00:36:48,122 --> 00:36:49,289
What sound?

642
00:36:50,082 --> 00:36:51,750
Mm.

643
00:36:52,293 --> 00:36:53,960
No, it stopped.

644
00:36:57,965 --> 00:37:00,342
-Okay, it's back.
-That's me. I'm just masturbating.

645
00:37:00,509 --> 00:37:02,052
What? Why?

646
00:37:02,220 --> 00:37:03,970
This is how I go to sleep.

647
00:37:04,138 --> 00:37:06,056
Oh, don't, don't, don't. Come on, dude.

648
00:37:06,224 --> 00:37:07,891
I'm right here next to you.

649
00:37:08,059 --> 00:37:09,851
Just shut your eyes, Peter.

650
00:37:10,019 --> 00:37:12,979
They're closed. The sound.

651
00:37:13,147 --> 00:37:14,314
Just bear with me.

652
00:37:17,318 --> 00:37:19,486
-How long is this gonna take?
-Ugh!

653
00:37:19,987 --> 00:37:23,031
If you keep interrupting me
it's gonna take a little longer...

654
00:37:23,199 --> 00:37:25,325
...but it usually just takes
about 35 minutes.

655
00:37:25,493 --> 00:37:27,035
Is that all?

656
00:37:38,005 --> 00:37:40,173
Your fucking dog's doing it too.

657
00:37:40,549 --> 00:37:42,842
Sonny! Stop!

658
00:37:44,887 --> 00:37:47,514
Sonny, no. Stop.

659
00:37:49,100 --> 00:37:50,433
Good boy.

660
00:38:41,235 --> 00:38:43,236
Come here, garbage face. Come here.

661
00:39:10,931 --> 00:39:14,225
Don't even think about it.
Had to be done.

662
00:39:14,393 --> 00:39:16,186
Please. Don't.

663
00:39:16,354 --> 00:39:18,438
Intolerable. lntolerable.

664
00:39:31,452 --> 00:39:33,203
Son of a bitch.

665
00:39:33,371 --> 00:39:35,455
Goddamn it. No.

666
00:39:42,129 --> 00:39:44,339
Great. This is great.

667
00:39:45,633 --> 00:39:47,008
Fuck.

668
00:39:47,301 --> 00:39:48,802
Don't.

669
00:39:51,305 --> 00:39:53,139
Okay.

670
00:39:53,974 --> 00:39:57,060
We are gathered in the presence
of the Lord and all things holy...

671
00:39:57,228 --> 00:40:01,689
...to celebrate the passing of one Mr.--
I don't remember his fucking name.

672
00:40:01,857 --> 00:40:04,859
Chase. Or a.k.a. Tremblay.

673
00:40:05,236 --> 00:40:10,323
May he forever reside and dwell
in the sunlight of the spirit.

674
00:40:12,493 --> 00:40:13,993
Amen.

675
00:40:15,704 --> 00:40:18,998
You know, I just wanna offer
an explanation, sir...

676
00:40:19,166 --> 00:40:21,918
...as to why you wound up
on the side of lnterstate 20.

677
00:40:22,086 --> 00:40:24,838
It's not your fault. It's your kid.

678
00:40:25,005 --> 00:40:28,258
He's an incredibly difficult person
to travel with.

679
00:40:28,426 --> 00:40:31,261
In fact, I don't know how or why...

680
00:40:31,429 --> 00:40:34,848
...you didn't just strangle him
in the fucking crib.

681
00:41:08,382 --> 00:41:09,883
Hey, buddy.

682
00:41:10,050 --> 00:41:11,468
Forget something?

683
00:41:11,802 --> 00:41:13,219
No. I got....

684
00:41:13,387 --> 00:41:15,138
I got coffee.

685
00:41:15,764 --> 00:41:17,432
Dunkin' Donuts.

686
00:41:17,725 --> 00:41:18,975
Thought maybe you left me.

687
00:41:19,143 --> 00:41:22,145
I picked up breakfast
so we can eat on the road, make up time.

688
00:41:22,771 --> 00:41:25,440
-Why'd you leave my stuff out here?
-It's your property.

689
00:41:28,486 --> 00:41:30,403
-That makes sense.
-Yep.

690
00:41:31,906 --> 00:41:32,906
Want me to drive?

691
00:41:33,073 --> 00:41:35,241
-It is your shift.
-Okay. Very good.

692
00:41:35,910 --> 00:41:38,328
I'll grab the other items.

693
00:41:38,496 --> 00:41:39,621
-Okay.
-Okay.

694
00:41:39,788 --> 00:41:40,830
Come on, Sonny.

695
00:41:40,998 --> 00:41:42,749
Sonny, come on.

696
00:41:43,417 --> 00:41:46,920
I was thinking, "There's no way
that Peter would have left me here.

697
00:41:47,254 --> 00:41:50,465
We've had our bumps in the road,
but he's not gonna leave me."

698
00:41:50,633 --> 00:41:54,427
-Oh, please, no. It's not my car.
-Right.

699
00:41:54,595 --> 00:41:56,638
Yeah. Come on. Get in, Sonny.

700
00:41:57,014 --> 00:42:00,350
You know, my mind works
in mysterious ways.

701
00:42:00,518 --> 00:42:04,020
And I thought, "God, why would
he wanna travel alone, you know?"

702
00:42:04,188 --> 00:42:05,438
You have a nice shower?

703
00:42:05,606 --> 00:42:06,648
-Yes, excellent.
-Great.

704
00:42:06,815 --> 00:42:09,275
You know, rest areas
have the nicest showers.

705
00:42:09,443 --> 00:42:11,694
The nicest showers.

706
00:42:19,370 --> 00:42:21,412
This coffee's hot.

707
00:42:21,789 --> 00:42:23,540
-It's hot coffee.
-Whoo!

708
00:42:25,459 --> 00:42:28,044
-Have we crossed the Mississippi River?
-We're in Texas.

709
00:42:28,462 --> 00:42:31,381
The Mississippi River was the river
we crossed in Mississippi.

710
00:42:32,383 --> 00:42:34,133
That's too bad.

711
00:42:34,677 --> 00:42:36,719
Would have been a great sendoff
for my papa.

712
00:42:36,887 --> 00:42:41,849
Put his ashes in the old river. Let the ashes
float down to New Orleans, you know?

713
00:42:42,184 --> 00:42:44,227
Spend Mardi Gras there.

714
00:42:44,395 --> 00:42:48,314
-I'm gonna get some shuteye, okay?
-Nothing he loved more than jazz music...

715
00:42:48,899 --> 00:42:50,483
...and women's titties.

716
00:42:54,154 --> 00:42:56,239
-Did I snore last night?
-Mm-hm.

717
00:42:56,574 --> 00:43:00,034
Sorry. I'm a deep sleeper.
It's a condition.

718
00:43:00,202 --> 00:43:03,538
You know when they say, "That guy
could sleep through an earthquake"?

719
00:43:03,706 --> 00:43:05,665
I've actually slept
through an earthquake.

720
00:43:05,916 --> 00:43:08,876
I also fell asleep during a job interview
at Bank of America.

721
00:43:09,044 --> 00:43:12,171
I didn't sleep last night.
I'm gonna try now.

722
00:43:12,339 --> 00:43:13,715
You should have masturbated...

723
00:43:13,882 --> 00:43:16,676
...because I had a glorious orgasm
and I slept like a baby.

724
00:43:56,216 --> 00:43:58,051
<i>--of a gentle coast</i>

725
00:43:58,302 --> 00:44:01,804
<i>And a sun to maybe dissipate</i>

726
00:44:02,389 --> 00:44:06,517
<i>Shadows of the mess you made</i>

727
00:44:18,906 --> 00:44:20,948
Hey! Get up!

728
00:44:21,950 --> 00:44:23,910
Ethan, wake up! Goddamn it!

729
00:44:25,120 --> 00:44:26,454
Son of a bitch.

730
00:44:27,414 --> 00:44:28,581
No!

731
00:44:51,689 --> 00:44:53,439
I can't feel my arm.

732
00:45:02,032 --> 00:45:03,866
What happened?

733
00:45:06,578 --> 00:45:09,455
I'll see if the rental agreement's in the....

734
00:45:13,335 --> 00:45:15,670
You know what? I have coverage.

735
00:45:15,838 --> 00:45:17,213
That's good.

736
00:45:23,721 --> 00:45:26,180
-Stay away from me.
-Jeez Louise, are you okay?

737
00:45:26,348 --> 00:45:28,558
Am I okay? Do I look okay?

738
00:45:28,726 --> 00:45:30,810
I have a broken arm, three cracked ribs.

739
00:45:30,978 --> 00:45:34,313
I have seven stitches in my armpit.
Does that answer your question?

740
00:45:34,648 --> 00:45:36,983
No, not okay.

741
00:45:37,234 --> 00:45:39,485
-Peter, I am terribly sorry.
-Are you?

742
00:45:39,653 --> 00:45:42,655
Sonny's all banged up. I'm a wreck.
You don't have a scratch.

743
00:45:42,823 --> 00:45:45,491
Doctor said I was in such a deep sleep
I didn't tense up.

744
00:45:45,659 --> 00:45:47,493
-I told you I was a deep sleeper.
-Yeah.

745
00:45:47,661 --> 00:45:51,080
Did the doctor say it is not advisable
to fall asleep while driving?

746
00:45:51,248 --> 00:45:53,750
I was just trying to rest my eyes
for a few seconds.

747
00:45:53,917 --> 00:45:56,377
But seriously, next time
try not to tense up. Really.

748
00:46:00,549 --> 00:46:03,843
My actual friend. He's come to pick me up.
All the way from Dallas.

749
00:46:04,011 --> 00:46:06,846
-Oh, good. Shotgun.
-Nope. Not us.

750
00:46:07,014 --> 00:46:08,848
Just me. We're done.

751
00:46:09,016 --> 00:46:11,350
And by the way,
it's been a fucking pleasure.

752
00:46:11,518 --> 00:46:14,854
But just so my conscience is clear,
let me let you know...

753
00:46:15,022 --> 00:46:17,565
...why you're not coming with us, okay?

754
00:46:17,733 --> 00:46:21,527
It's not because you got me kicked off
a plane and shot by an air marshal.

755
00:46:21,695 --> 00:46:26,532
Not because you stood by as I had my ass
handed to me by a handicapped hillbilly.

756
00:46:26,700 --> 00:46:28,576
I am certainly not leaving you here...

757
00:46:28,744 --> 00:46:32,580
...because you almost got me killed
during the most important week of my life.

758
00:46:32,748 --> 00:46:35,875
I am leaving you here
for a far more fundamental reason:

759
00:46:36,043 --> 00:46:39,086
I despise who you are at a cellular level.

760
00:46:39,254 --> 00:46:41,756
I've heard that before,
and I'm trying to work on it.

761
00:46:41,924 --> 00:46:43,466
-Great. Now hear this:
-Yes.

762
00:46:43,634 --> 00:46:46,886
Beware. I'm warning you,
don't go to Hollywood.

763
00:46:47,054 --> 00:46:50,389
The streets are not paved with gold.
They are paved with the carcasses...

764
00:46:50,557 --> 00:46:53,392
...of imbeciles like you
who think they're gonna make it.

765
00:46:53,560 --> 00:46:55,102
"Pray you, avoid it."

766
00:46:55,270 --> 00:46:58,105
Did you get that? That was Shakespeare.
Heard of him?

767
00:46:58,273 --> 00:47:00,650
Yes, I've heard of him.
He's a famous pirate.

768
00:47:00,818 --> 00:47:02,819
And by the way, it's Shakesbeard.

769
00:47:02,986 --> 00:47:05,738
Let me give you a little bit
of friendly advice.

770
00:47:06,073 --> 00:47:11,869
Nobody who calls themselves "Hollywood"
has ever made it in Hollywood.

771
00:47:13,789 --> 00:47:15,122
That I've never heard before.

772
00:47:15,290 --> 00:47:19,252
Sonny, you will be sorely missed,
you little bat-faced piece of shit.

773
00:47:23,257 --> 00:47:25,716
-I have never...
-Well, get used to it.

774
00:47:25,884 --> 00:47:27,593
...in all of my 23 years!

775
00:47:32,641 --> 00:47:34,851
-Come on, let's get out of here.
-What the fuck?

776
00:47:35,018 --> 00:47:36,769
-We're moving out.
-You all right?

777
00:47:36,937 --> 00:47:38,646
-What's going on?
-Thank you so much.

778
00:47:38,814 --> 00:47:40,606
Who's the dude you yelling at?

779
00:47:40,774 --> 00:47:43,484
He's nobody. A guy I was traveling with.
He's trouble.

780
00:47:43,652 --> 00:47:44,861
He looks sad as shit.

781
00:47:47,656 --> 00:47:50,700
-And you just spit on his dog.
-I spit on his d-- God, I did.

782
00:47:50,868 --> 00:47:54,871
I was seeing red because he has a way of
getting under your skin. I'm fine. Let's go.

783
00:47:55,038 --> 00:47:56,831
-You wanna leave him here?
-Trust me.

784
00:47:56,999 --> 00:47:59,333
-Pete, how long have I known you?
-Twenty years.

785
00:47:59,501 --> 00:48:00,543
-Twenty years.
-Yep.

786
00:48:00,711 --> 00:48:04,547
Your energy's off. You don't wanna mess
your karma up. You have a child coming.

787
00:48:04,715 --> 00:48:08,509
So whatever you need to do to fix between
you and DeBarge, you need to fix it.

788
00:48:10,637 --> 00:48:12,179
Trust me.

789
00:48:14,057 --> 00:48:15,725
Make it right.

790
00:48:21,815 --> 00:48:24,358
Hollywood, come here.

791
00:48:30,365 --> 00:48:32,658
-You see what I'm working with here?
-Oh, wow.

792
00:48:34,995 --> 00:48:36,329
Okay, I've calmed down a bit.

793
00:48:36,496 --> 00:48:38,539
-You ready to apologize?
-What? Fuck you!

794
00:48:38,707 --> 00:48:39,957
-Wait. Oh, no.
-Let's go.

795
00:48:40,125 --> 00:48:42,251
Pete, Pete, relax.

796
00:48:42,502 --> 00:48:43,669
Fix it.

797
00:48:43,837 --> 00:48:46,172
First of all,
I'm sorry that I spat on Sonny.

798
00:48:46,340 --> 00:48:48,341
I have no recollection
of that whatsoever.

799
00:48:48,508 --> 00:48:51,344
Now, if you're gonna travel
with me to Los Angeles...

800
00:48:51,511 --> 00:48:54,013
...I gotta give you a couple guidelines.
Number one:

801
00:48:54,181 --> 00:48:58,184
If you ask me a single question,
I'm going to flip out on you.

802
00:48:58,352 --> 00:49:01,437
-So don't do that. Do you understand?
-Somewhat, yes.

803
00:49:01,605 --> 00:49:04,732
Number two:
If you fall asleep for any reason...

804
00:49:04,900 --> 00:49:07,902
...other than the fact that
you're in a bed and it's nighttime...

805
00:49:08,070 --> 00:49:09,445
...I will disembowel you.

806
00:49:09,613 --> 00:49:10,780
Make sense?

807
00:49:10,948 --> 00:49:12,073
-Somewhat.
-Great.

808
00:49:12,240 --> 00:49:15,576
Three: If you're allergic to waffles,
don't eat waffles.

809
00:49:15,744 --> 00:49:18,371
-Then don't take me to a Waffle House.
-Shut up!

810
00:49:18,538 --> 00:49:20,581
-Relax.
-Get your stuff and get in back.

811
00:49:20,749 --> 00:49:22,083
-Hold Sonny.
-Nope.

812
00:49:22,250 --> 00:49:24,210
Hand me that dog, I will rip it in half.

813
00:49:25,879 --> 00:49:29,131
You better check yourself
before you wreck yourself.

814
00:49:44,439 --> 00:49:47,608
And then, his fault,
we're both put on a No-Fly list.

815
00:49:47,776 --> 00:49:49,777
-A No-Fly list? You?
-Yeah, and it just--

816
00:49:49,945 --> 00:49:54,949
Yeah. Just got worse from there.
Because he's pathological, I think.

817
00:49:55,117 --> 00:49:56,993
He'll just start beating off.

818
00:49:57,160 --> 00:49:58,244
-What?
-Yes.

819
00:49:58,412 --> 00:50:01,455
-No lotion?
-No, no, he was dry-docking.

820
00:50:04,084 --> 00:50:06,002
Is that a drainage ditch coming up?

821
00:50:08,046 --> 00:50:09,088
Yes, it is.

822
00:50:09,256 --> 00:50:10,798
-Would you mind?
-I'm hitting it.

823
00:50:10,966 --> 00:50:14,135
Real hard.

824
00:50:20,475 --> 00:50:21,517
Ethan, you all right?

825
00:50:22,769 --> 00:50:23,811
Yeah, we're good.

826
00:50:23,979 --> 00:50:27,773
Next time, don't tense up your body.
Just stay loose.

827
00:50:30,986 --> 00:50:33,612
-There's another one up here too.
-Want to hit him again?

828
00:50:45,542 --> 00:50:47,334
We can't take your Range Rover, D.

829
00:50:47,502 --> 00:50:49,378
Yes, you can. I prefer my pickup anyway.

830
00:50:49,546 --> 00:50:53,507
-I'll ship it back as soon as I get there.
-No need. I'll be in L.A. on Friday.

831
00:50:53,675 --> 00:50:55,634
You will? What are you doing in L.A.?

832
00:50:55,802 --> 00:50:57,845
I'm not gonna miss
the birth of your baby.

833
00:50:58,013 --> 00:51:01,682
But let me ask you: Doesn't it burn you up
that she's getting a C-section?

834
00:51:01,850 --> 00:51:05,561
I mean, that body was so flawless,
just banging.

835
00:51:05,729 --> 00:51:07,313
How did you know we were
getting a C-section?

836
00:51:07,481 --> 00:51:09,482
She told me. Coffee?

837
00:51:09,858 --> 00:51:11,317
Sure.

838
00:51:17,240 --> 00:51:18,574
What is going on?

839
00:51:19,034 --> 00:51:20,493
What are you talking about?

840
00:51:20,660 --> 00:51:23,204
What's with all these stories
he has about your wife?

841
00:51:23,371 --> 00:51:24,872
They used to date in college?

842
00:51:25,040 --> 00:51:26,499
It was like 20 years ago.

843
00:51:26,666 --> 00:51:28,375
Yeah, but come on, you don't see it?

844
00:51:28,668 --> 00:51:31,670
This guy's good-looking.
He's a football player. He's charming.

845
00:51:31,838 --> 00:51:35,257
-You don't know what you're talking about.
-He has beautiful hands.

846
00:51:36,051 --> 00:51:37,802
I think there's something going on.

847
00:51:37,969 --> 00:51:40,513
Here you go.
-What's this picture from?

848
00:51:40,680 --> 00:51:42,848
What's that?
-This picture of you and Sarah.

849
00:51:43,016 --> 00:51:45,851
Oh, yeah, that was February.
We was in San Diego.

850
00:51:46,019 --> 00:51:47,186
She didn't tell you?

851
00:51:47,354 --> 00:51:50,689
She mentioned that she bumped into you.
She didn't say that--

852
00:51:50,857 --> 00:51:54,068
That we were throwing them back.
Getting wasted, having a good time.

853
00:51:54,236 --> 00:51:56,695
Just sort of reliving some things,
you know, just....

854
00:51:56,863 --> 00:51:59,448
-Real good girl. Fantastic.
-She is. Slipped her mind.

855
00:51:59,616 --> 00:52:02,701
February. lsn't that about
nine months ago?

856
00:52:03,912 --> 00:52:06,080
-No questions.
-Nine, 1 0 months.

857
00:52:06,456 --> 00:52:07,915
Nine.

858
00:52:09,251 --> 00:52:12,837
Where you at with the names?
She said you were being a real hard-ass.

859
00:52:13,004 --> 00:52:15,548
-She said that?
-Yeah, she hit me in a e-mail.

860
00:52:15,715 --> 00:52:18,467
-You and his wife exchange e-mails?
-Yeah.

861
00:52:18,635 --> 00:52:20,261
What else do you exchange?

862
00:52:20,428 --> 00:52:22,221
Ethan.
-Body fluids?

863
00:52:22,973 --> 00:52:25,808
-What is he talking about?
-I don't even listen to him.

864
00:52:25,976 --> 00:52:28,060
This is not bothering you? The e-mails--

865
00:52:28,228 --> 00:52:29,562
Each other's ejaculate?

866
00:52:29,896 --> 00:52:30,896
What?

867
00:52:31,064 --> 00:52:32,606
It's when your urine turns white.

868
00:52:33,400 --> 00:52:36,235
Okay, new rule: You can't...

869
00:52:36,903 --> 00:52:38,863
...say a fucking word.

870
00:52:39,030 --> 00:52:41,073
This is horrible. It tastes like cat litter.

871
00:52:41,241 --> 00:52:42,658
I think it tastes delicious.

872
00:52:42,826 --> 00:52:45,703
You should. I was all out,
so I used the coffee you brought.

873
00:52:45,871 --> 00:52:47,454
Oh, boy.

874
00:52:47,831 --> 00:52:49,248
That's his dad, it's his dad.

875
00:52:49,416 --> 00:52:53,252
Fine. I'll buy some other coffee.
I apologize. What's the big deal?

876
00:52:53,420 --> 00:52:54,587
His dad is the coffee.

877
00:52:54,754 --> 00:52:57,965
He passed away and his remains
were in the fucking can.

878
00:52:58,425 --> 00:53:01,552
Get him the fuck out.
The beard, the dog, get him out!

879
00:53:01,720 --> 00:53:03,137
-I get it.
-Get him out!

880
00:53:03,305 --> 00:53:05,014
I know. It took eight minutes, right?

881
00:53:10,645 --> 00:53:13,480
Oh, God! So stupid!

882
00:53:18,945 --> 00:53:21,197
Where are the ashes?
Where are my dad's ashes?

883
00:53:21,364 --> 00:53:22,656
Relax.

884
00:53:23,116 --> 00:53:24,617
-It was an accident.
-Where is it?

885
00:53:24,784 --> 00:53:26,327
-Where?
Right where I'm pointing.

886
00:53:26,494 --> 00:53:28,537
There's the coffee machine right there.

887
00:53:28,705 --> 00:53:31,457
There's the can, there's the coffeemaker.

888
00:53:31,625 --> 00:53:35,669
We're gonna retrieve this.
I got it, I got it. Slow down, it's okay.

889
00:53:35,837 --> 00:53:37,338
Can we just calm down?

890
00:53:38,465 --> 00:53:40,049
Let me take it.

891
00:53:40,383 --> 00:53:41,717
Oh, God.

892
00:53:41,885 --> 00:53:42,968
Will you relax?

893
00:53:43,136 --> 00:53:44,470
Oh!

894
00:53:52,646 --> 00:53:54,146
It's okay.

895
00:53:57,734 --> 00:53:59,902
Come here, I'll help you pick it up.

896
00:54:00,153 --> 00:54:01,320
There we go.

897
00:54:03,365 --> 00:54:05,324
Get it back in there.

898
00:54:42,570 --> 00:54:44,029
I'm sorry we drank your father.

899
00:54:46,533 --> 00:54:48,325
It's okay.

900
00:54:49,953 --> 00:54:51,704
Are you all right? Are you sure?

901
00:54:51,871 --> 00:54:54,581
Yeah, there's plenty of him still in here.

902
00:54:54,958 --> 00:54:57,042
Darryl only made three cups of coffee...

903
00:54:57,210 --> 00:55:00,754
...and I think there's about eight cups
of my dad left in here.

904
00:55:00,922 --> 00:55:02,172
Great.

905
00:55:06,886 --> 00:55:08,262
At least he tasted good.

906
00:55:08,555 --> 00:55:09,972
Not bad.

907
00:55:10,140 --> 00:55:11,724
Yeah, strong.

908
00:55:11,891 --> 00:55:14,893
He was full-flavored.

909
00:55:15,770 --> 00:55:17,896
Robust blend.

910
00:55:18,815 --> 00:55:21,233
He really enjoyed coffee.

911
00:55:22,152 --> 00:55:25,404
And in the end,
he was enjoyed as coffee.

912
00:55:26,406 --> 00:55:28,240
Kind of circle of life.

913
00:55:28,575 --> 00:55:30,576
Lion King. All that.

914
00:55:33,788 --> 00:55:37,916
I'll tell you what, the moratorium on
asking questions is officially lifted.

915
00:55:38,418 --> 00:55:39,918
Fire away.

916
00:55:40,170 --> 00:55:41,712
Okay.

917
00:55:43,673 --> 00:55:44,923
-How's your arm?
-Not bad.

918
00:55:45,091 --> 00:55:47,426
Do you think Darryl slept with your wife?

919
00:55:48,011 --> 00:55:50,262
-No.
-I do.

920
00:55:50,430 --> 00:55:53,098
I mean, why would he lend you
this very fancy car...

921
00:55:53,266 --> 00:55:56,101
...and give you all that
walking-around money? It's....

922
00:55:56,269 --> 00:55:57,936
Because he's my friend.

923
00:55:58,438 --> 00:55:59,938
That's why.

924
00:56:00,482 --> 00:56:02,775
Have you ever been
to the San Diego Zoo?

925
00:56:02,942 --> 00:56:04,610
I have a question for you.

926
00:56:04,778 --> 00:56:07,613
How did those three questions
come into your head?

927
00:56:08,281 --> 00:56:11,950
I was thinking about your wife and Darryl,
Darryl getting your wife pregnant.

928
00:56:12,118 --> 00:56:15,120
What their baby would look like,
maybe like a zebra baby.

929
00:56:15,789 --> 00:56:18,123
Then I thought,
"Well, I've never seen a zebra."

930
00:56:18,291 --> 00:56:21,460
And I thought, "Well, I should maybe
go to the San Diego Zoo...

931
00:56:21,628 --> 00:56:24,713
-...when we get to California--"
-Nope, I've never been to the zoo.

932
00:56:24,881 --> 00:56:26,548
Next question, please.

933
00:56:27,384 --> 00:56:28,926
Hey, hon.

934
00:56:29,135 --> 00:56:33,347
It's your ever-faithful and adoring husband
calling from West Texas.

935
00:56:33,515 --> 00:56:34,556
Just checking in.

936
00:56:34,724 --> 00:56:38,352
Weird, it went to voicemail.
Are you on the other line with Darryl?

937
00:56:40,230 --> 00:56:41,980
I actually talked to him...

938
00:56:42,482 --> 00:56:45,859
...and he told me about the lovely weekend
you guys spent in San Diego.

939
00:56:46,027 --> 00:56:48,070
Didn't jibe with the way
you recounted it...

940
00:56:48,238 --> 00:56:50,989
...so maybe with all your e-mails
and phone calls...

941
00:56:51,157 --> 00:56:52,908
...you can get your story straight.

942
00:56:55,537 --> 00:56:58,831
If there's something you need to tell me
before we go down this road...

943
00:56:58,998 --> 00:57:01,542
...if I'm gonna have a surprise
in the delivery room...

944
00:57:01,709 --> 00:57:05,045
...I would just appreciate it
that you erase any and all--

945
00:57:05,213 --> 00:57:06,672
Call me.

946
00:57:08,758 --> 00:57:11,510
-Was I right or was I wrong?
-About what?

947
00:57:12,345 --> 00:57:15,180
The Darryl thing, your wife,
and the mystery about the baby.

948
00:57:15,348 --> 00:57:17,224
She's sleeping. I left a message.

949
00:57:18,101 --> 00:57:22,604
And the casual manner with which you
bring up this topic, it makes me edgy.

950
00:57:23,398 --> 00:57:26,984
So if you wouldn't mind not doing that
anymore I'd really appreciate it.

951
00:57:27,235 --> 00:57:29,069
-I got some snacks.
-Yes, I see.

952
00:57:29,237 --> 00:57:31,905
Unfortunately, I need you to drive.
I'm on Vicodin.

953
00:57:32,073 --> 00:57:34,908
I'm not supposed to operate
heavy machinery.

954
00:57:35,577 --> 00:57:36,869
I will tell you this:

955
00:57:37,036 --> 00:57:40,747
If you blink, if you even look like you
might be dozing, let alone fall asleep...

956
00:57:40,915 --> 00:57:45,252
...I'm gonna put hands on you. I'm gonna
choke you out with your own scarf.

957
00:57:45,420 --> 00:57:49,548
Wrap that thing around your neck
and choke you the fuck out. Promise.

958
00:57:51,551 --> 00:57:53,135
Seems a bit drastic.

959
00:57:53,303 --> 00:57:54,595
Take off your glasses.

960
00:57:54,762 --> 00:57:56,680
I bought them,
I wanted to showcase them.

961
00:57:56,848 --> 00:57:58,265
It's night. You're driving.

962
00:57:58,683 --> 00:58:00,934
You act like you've never been
in a fender-bender.

963
00:58:01,102 --> 00:58:03,479
-Remove them.
-Okay.

964
00:58:05,565 --> 00:58:07,900
-Jolt Cola? Drink it.
-Yeah.

965
00:58:08,067 --> 00:58:11,737
-You're not the boss of me, you know.
-I know. Just drink it.

966
00:58:12,614 --> 00:58:13,989
Please.

967
00:58:19,579 --> 00:58:20,913
Attaboy.

968
00:58:26,753 --> 00:58:28,754
By the way, when I fell asleep...

969
00:58:28,922 --> 00:58:30,923
...that was a one-time occurrence.

970
00:58:31,424 --> 00:58:35,093
-I know what I'm doing. I'm a grown man.
-Did you remember to use the restroom?

971
00:58:35,261 --> 00:58:36,678
Oh.

972
00:58:53,905 --> 00:58:57,658
<i>Hey you, out there on your own</i>

973
00:58:57,825 --> 00:58:59,952
<i>Sitting naked by the phone</i>

974
00:59:00,119 --> 00:59:02,162
<i>Would you touch me?</i>

975
00:59:04,582 --> 00:59:08,377
<i>Hey you, with your ear against the wall</i>

976
00:59:08,753 --> 00:59:12,548
<i>Waiting for someone to call out</i>
<i>Would you touch me?</i>

977
00:59:16,302 --> 00:59:22,683
Hey you
<i>Would you help me to carry the stone?</i>

978
00:59:26,479 --> 00:59:30,983
<i>Open your heart, I'm coming home</i>

979
00:59:37,991 --> 00:59:40,033
This is some stuff.

980
00:59:43,746 --> 00:59:45,998
This window is not working.

981
00:59:46,207 --> 00:59:50,085
No, I locked them so we could get
a good clambake going on in here.

982
00:59:50,670 --> 00:59:52,337
That way, Sonny could get stoned.

983
00:59:56,843 --> 00:59:58,010
Am I stoned?

984
00:59:58,595 --> 01:00:00,345
Do you feel stoned?

985
01:00:14,027 --> 01:00:16,737
<i>But it was only fantasy</i>

986
01:00:20,867 --> 01:00:24,786
<i>No matter how he tried</i>
<i>He could not break free</i>

987
01:00:28,207 --> 01:00:31,501
<i>And the worms ate into his brain</i>

988
01:00:39,636 --> 01:00:45,932
<i>Hey you</i>
<i>Don't tell me there's no hope at all</i>

989
01:00:49,479 --> 01:00:51,730
<i>Together we stand</i>

990
01:00:52,774 --> 01:00:55,400
<i>Divided we fall</i>

991
01:01:02,909 --> 01:01:04,493
Then what? How did it resolve?

992
01:01:05,244 --> 01:01:09,039
Well, it turns out the cheese grater
was underneath the mattress.

993
01:01:10,291 --> 01:01:14,503
Ha, ha!
That is so sophisticated. And has heart.

994
01:01:14,671 --> 01:01:15,754
The show has heart.

995
01:01:16,172 --> 01:01:18,256
How do you know so much about this?

996
01:01:18,424 --> 01:01:22,636
I run a fan site for the show. Not official,
but I've run a fan site for about six years.

997
01:01:23,096 --> 01:01:24,971
I started it at an internet café.

998
01:01:25,515 --> 01:01:27,516
Used to go in there and wash my feet.

999
01:01:27,684 --> 01:01:28,850
What was the site called?

1000
01:01:29,268 --> 01:01:31,561
It'sRainingTwoAndAHalfMen.com.

1001
01:01:32,772 --> 01:01:33,939
Wow.

1002
01:01:34,315 --> 01:01:38,193
That is sublime. Can I retract every
derogatory statement I've made about you?

1003
01:01:38,611 --> 01:01:40,821
Thank you, Peter. That's very sweet.

1004
01:01:41,114 --> 01:01:43,281
-Hand me a Bugle.
-Sure.

1005
01:01:45,201 --> 01:01:46,493
Thank you.

1006
01:01:46,661 --> 01:01:48,787
-Will you feed one to the hound?
-Very well.

1007
01:01:53,209 --> 01:01:55,961
Are we on the highway still?

1008
01:01:56,129 --> 01:01:58,171
Relax, Peter, I've got it covered.

1009
01:01:58,339 --> 01:01:59,506
Are you certain?

1010
01:01:59,674 --> 01:02:02,634
You're getting paranoid.
That pot got to you.

1011
01:02:03,219 --> 01:02:05,971
Okay. All right, you see the flag?

1012
01:02:06,681 --> 01:02:09,224
It looks like a border crossing,
it says "Mexico"--

1013
01:02:09,392 --> 01:02:12,310
-Oh, Lord. Gosh.
-What?

1014
01:02:12,478 --> 01:02:15,313
I thought that said Texaco.
We're low on gas.

1015
01:02:15,982 --> 01:02:17,315
-Okay, we're fine.
Yep.

1016
01:02:17,483 --> 01:02:19,025
We're good. We're good.

1017
01:02:19,193 --> 01:02:20,652
What are you gonna tell them?

1018
01:02:20,820 --> 01:02:23,155
All I'm gonna do is say,
"Look, we made a mistake."

1019
01:02:23,322 --> 01:02:26,074
-And we're gonna ask to turn around.
-Perfect.

1020
01:02:26,534 --> 01:02:30,704
Okay, I need you to be quiet.
Sit straight. Don't say anything.

1021
01:02:30,872 --> 01:02:33,498
Won't that be suspicious
if they ask me a question?

1022
01:02:33,666 --> 01:02:35,667
-Let me handle everything.
-You handle it.

1023
01:02:35,835 --> 01:02:38,003
Here we go.
-Uh-oh. He's looking right at me.

1024
01:02:38,171 --> 01:02:40,505
Peter, please be quiet, okay?

1025
01:02:43,009 --> 01:02:44,509
I'm sorry.

1026
01:02:45,094 --> 01:02:48,096
Hello. The weirdest thing happened.
We just kind of got shifted--

1027
01:02:48,264 --> 01:02:50,515
Are you guys American citizens?

1028
01:02:50,683 --> 01:02:52,058
Yes. Yes, we are.

1029
01:02:52,226 --> 01:02:54,019
-The both of you?
-Yes, absolutely.

1030
01:02:54,187 --> 01:02:56,188
Can I see your passports?

1031
01:02:56,355 --> 01:02:57,689
We don't have passports.

1032
01:02:58,399 --> 01:03:00,567
The thing is,
we didn't mean to end up here.

1033
01:03:00,735 --> 01:03:05,280
Somehow, I must have taken
the wrong exit, and we're here, so....

1034
01:03:05,448 --> 01:03:08,116
If we could just maybe turn around
and go back?

1035
01:03:08,701 --> 01:03:10,243
You wanna turn around?

1036
01:03:10,411 --> 01:03:12,913
Yeah, it was a mistake.
We're trying to get back--

1037
01:03:13,748 --> 01:03:15,999
What's wrong with your friend?

1038
01:03:17,418 --> 01:03:18,585
Peter, don't do that.

1039
01:03:18,753 --> 01:03:21,713
Why are your eyes so glassy?
You been partying?

1040
01:03:22,215 --> 01:03:23,715
No, I have glaucoma.

1041
01:03:23,883 --> 01:03:27,427
What about your friend,
does he have glaucoma too?

1042
01:03:28,888 --> 01:03:32,057
Answer the man. Do you have glaucoma?
No, he doesn't have glaucoma.

1043
01:03:32,225 --> 01:03:34,810
What about the dog,
does he have glaucoma?

1044
01:03:35,603 --> 01:03:37,896
Because his eyes are glassy as fuck.

1045
01:03:39,273 --> 01:03:41,858
Shut off the car.
Give me the keys, please.

1046
01:03:45,655 --> 01:03:46,905
Wait right here.

1047
01:03:51,327 --> 01:03:53,286
-Did I blow it?
-No, we're fine.

1048
01:03:54,247 --> 01:03:55,413
You are smooth.

1049
01:03:56,374 --> 01:03:57,833
<i>-Wow.</i>
-Hand me Sonny, please.

1050
01:04:00,253 --> 01:04:02,754
God, my heart was in my throat.
I was flipping out.

1051
01:04:03,130 --> 01:04:06,508
Could you hand me my father's ashes?
They're on the floorboard.

1052
01:04:06,884 --> 01:04:09,761
Wow. What's--? What are you doing?

1053
01:04:25,027 --> 01:04:27,612
We took the wrong exit,
<i>we wound up here by mistake.</i>

1054
01:04:28,030 --> 01:04:30,407
No matter how many times you ask,
that's my answer.

1055
01:04:30,575 --> 01:04:32,617
You sound like Jason Bourne, man.

1056
01:04:32,785 --> 01:04:35,370
You don't know where you're going.
No ID.

1057
01:04:36,038 --> 01:04:38,164
I wanna speak to
the American consulate.

1058
01:04:38,332 --> 01:04:39,666
I'm American, I have rights.

1059
01:04:39,834 --> 01:04:41,459
-Oh, yeah, sure.
-Thank you.

1060
01:04:41,627 --> 01:04:44,796
Hey, Ramon.
He wants to talk to his consulate.

1061
01:04:49,343 --> 01:04:52,053
Hello, sir.
Welcome to the American consulate.

1062
01:04:52,221 --> 01:04:54,514
-How can I help you?
-That's unacceptable.

1063
01:04:57,810 --> 01:05:01,146
What are you laughing about?
This is a serious matter. I have rights.

1064
01:05:01,314 --> 01:05:03,315
You americanos sneak into our country.

1065
01:05:03,649 --> 01:05:06,484
You bring drugs, you party.
You sleep with our women.

1066
01:05:06,652 --> 01:05:09,070
I've never heard of an American
sneaking into Mexico.

1067
01:05:09,238 --> 01:05:11,865
This would be an isolated incident.
It's usually the reverse.

1068
01:05:12,992 --> 01:05:15,535
I'm getting tired of your cavalier attitude.

1069
01:05:15,703 --> 01:05:17,537
Well, I apologize. I'm sorry.

1070
01:05:17,830 --> 01:05:21,333
You attempted to transport drugs
across an international border...

1071
01:05:21,834 --> 01:05:23,251
...dude.

1072
01:05:23,836 --> 01:05:25,629
This is serious shit.

1073
01:06:04,877 --> 01:06:06,419
Okay, Daddy.

1074
01:06:07,338 --> 01:06:08,838
There.

1075
01:06:29,110 --> 01:06:30,652
Shit!

1076
01:06:40,413 --> 01:06:41,621
Son of a bitch!

1077
01:06:51,590 --> 01:06:53,091
Stop!

1078
01:06:57,471 --> 01:06:58,638
Help!

1079
01:07:04,270 --> 01:07:06,146
Oh, shoot.

1080
01:07:24,582 --> 01:07:27,083
Pull over!
What the fuck?

1081
01:07:28,669 --> 01:07:30,253
Pull the car over!

1082
01:07:36,010 --> 01:07:38,053
Hold on, Sonny, it's about to get rough.

1083
01:07:45,478 --> 01:07:46,644
Oh, God.

1084
01:08:13,339 --> 01:08:14,881
Ethan?

1085
01:08:15,841 --> 01:08:17,008
Hollywood!

1086
01:08:33,359 --> 01:08:34,818
Oh, crud.

1087
01:08:40,032 --> 01:08:42,408
Peter? Peter, are you okay?

1088
01:08:51,043 --> 01:08:53,086
How many laws did we just break?

1089
01:08:53,254 --> 01:08:55,421
I don't know, 60?

1090
01:08:56,298 --> 01:08:58,049
I had no idea where I was going.

1091
01:08:58,217 --> 01:09:00,844
Then I see you. Remember,
when we jackknifed together?

1092
01:09:01,011 --> 01:09:03,346
-But you didn't look like you.
-We locked eyes.

1093
01:09:03,514 --> 01:09:06,349
-God, you looked crazy!
-Yeah. Well, I'm in stealth mode.

1094
01:09:06,517 --> 01:09:09,727
-That's why I got the scarf on my head.
-You were like a commando.

1095
01:09:09,895 --> 01:09:11,729
-You were a Comanche warrior.
-Thanks.

1096
01:09:11,897 --> 01:09:13,898
-It was the greatest ever.
-Thank you.

1097
01:09:14,066 --> 01:09:15,316
Don't move. Ready?

1098
01:09:15,901 --> 01:09:17,819
What? Oh.

1099
01:09:19,488 --> 01:09:21,322
That's your new headshot.
Ha-ha-ha!

1100
01:09:22,449 --> 01:09:25,201
-Yeah.
-How could it not be?

1101
01:09:25,411 --> 01:09:27,579
God, the pain is extraordinary.

1102
01:09:28,080 --> 01:09:30,623
-Will you e-mail that to me, please?
-Yeah.

1103
01:09:32,459 --> 01:09:35,044
Okay. All right. Just not too much, Peter.

1104
01:09:35,713 --> 01:09:39,257
Rescue. A daring rescue.

1105
01:09:40,092 --> 01:09:42,051
-You came back for me.
-Of course I did.

1106
01:09:42,219 --> 01:09:43,636
You're so brave.

1107
01:09:43,804 --> 01:09:46,472
I made you a promise.
I told you I was gonna get you home.

1108
01:09:46,640 --> 01:09:48,391
I'm getting you home safe, okay?

1109
01:09:50,144 --> 01:09:51,436
-I'm gonna kiss you.
-What?

1110
01:09:51,604 --> 01:09:53,104
-I'm gonna give you a smooch.
-No.

1111
01:09:53,272 --> 01:09:54,439
-Come on, baby.
-No way!

1112
01:09:54,607 --> 01:09:57,775
-Give me a little smooch.
-Stop, Peter! I'm driving! Oh!

1113
01:09:58,444 --> 01:09:59,652
Sick!

1114
01:09:59,820 --> 01:10:01,070
You got it.

1115
01:10:01,238 --> 01:10:04,574
-Everything's up and down with you.
-I owe you bigtime.

1116
01:10:04,742 --> 01:10:06,951
No way I'd see my kid
if you hadn't done that.

1117
01:10:07,328 --> 01:10:08,953
There's no way.

1118
01:10:09,121 --> 01:10:10,955
I love you, dude.

1119
01:10:13,125 --> 01:10:14,959
I love you too, Peter.

1120
01:10:28,182 --> 01:10:29,807
Oh, dear.

1121
01:10:31,435 --> 01:10:34,312
Sweetheart, I am so sorry.

1122
01:10:34,480 --> 01:10:38,483
<i>You know how I get.</i>
<i>I've always been jealous. It's....</i>

1123
01:10:38,651 --> 01:10:41,319
You knew about that.
I told you I ran into him there.

1124
01:10:41,487 --> 01:10:45,823
I know, and I know it has nothing to do
with you. It's just my shit. It's my shit.

1125
01:10:45,991 --> 01:10:48,993
Just listen to me, okay? Don't say anything.
Just listen to me.

1126
01:10:49,161 --> 01:10:52,163
<i>I would never betray you,</i>
<i>Peter, you know that.</i>

1127
01:10:52,665 --> 01:10:54,749
We're a family now.

1128
01:10:55,334 --> 01:10:57,335
Nothing else matters.
Do you understand?

1129
01:10:59,296 --> 01:11:02,548
-You're so right.
<i>-Can you just get home safely, please?</i>

1130
01:11:03,050 --> 01:11:05,635
-I love you, baby.
<i>-I love you too.</i>

1131
01:11:30,369 --> 01:11:31,869
Wake up. Ethan.

1132
01:11:32,705 --> 01:11:34,330
Check it out.

1133
01:11:52,182 --> 01:11:54,600
I'm telling you, I wouldn't make it up.

1134
01:11:54,768 --> 01:11:57,061
You sure? I could've sworn
I read it was man-made.

1135
01:11:57,229 --> 01:12:00,398
Nope. Not correct. Very old.
Formed over time.

1136
01:12:00,566 --> 01:12:03,192
Grand Canyon. Known fact.

1137
01:12:03,360 --> 01:12:06,029
Peter, I have a photogenic memory.
I have recall for--

1138
01:12:06,196 --> 01:12:11,075
Ethan, I promise you. It's old. It's the
Grand Canyon, it's not the Hoover Dam.

1139
01:12:11,243 --> 01:12:14,829
Well, I know it's not the Hoover Dam,
that was built by the Pilgrims.

1140
01:12:15,289 --> 01:12:16,914
Also incorrect.

1141
01:12:17,207 --> 01:12:19,250
It's magnificent though.

1142
01:12:20,252 --> 01:12:23,838
-You didn't have to stop, you know.
-That's okay. It's the perfect place.

1143
01:12:25,299 --> 01:12:27,300
Let's hit the road.
I can do that any time.

1144
01:12:27,468 --> 01:12:30,219
We've got time.
We don't have to be in L.A. till morning.

1145
01:12:30,387 --> 01:12:31,763
What are you doing? Relax.

1146
01:12:31,930 --> 01:12:34,974
We should just stick with the plan,
you know?

1147
01:12:35,142 --> 01:12:37,560
But I thought this was part of the plan.

1148
01:12:38,771 --> 01:12:41,647
What am I missing, Ethan?

1149
01:12:41,815 --> 01:12:43,691
What's really going on?

1150
01:12:43,859 --> 01:12:46,736
When I said the Grand Canyon
wasn't on the way, you said:

1151
01:12:46,904 --> 01:12:48,905
"Too bad, it would've been perfect."

1152
01:12:49,073 --> 01:12:51,282
When we passed
the Mississippi River you said:

1153
01:12:51,450 --> 01:12:53,201
"Too bad, Dad loved titties and jazz."

1154
01:12:53,369 --> 01:12:57,622
I just-- You know, we got stuff to do
and I don't wanna step on it.

1155
01:12:57,790 --> 01:12:59,749
I know it's hard to say goodbye.

1156
01:13:00,292 --> 01:13:04,337
And I didn't know your dad, but from what
you've told me he was a great father.

1157
01:13:04,838 --> 01:13:06,714
He was a cool guy.

1158
01:13:07,007 --> 01:13:09,550
I'm just saying.

1159
01:13:09,843 --> 01:13:11,844
I'm just suggesting.

1160
01:13:12,471 --> 01:13:14,305
If you got it in you...

1161
01:13:16,308 --> 01:13:18,518
...he deserves a grand gesture.

1162
01:13:22,481 --> 01:13:24,065
Okay.

1163
01:13:35,285 --> 01:13:36,869
Come on, Sonny.

1164
01:13:40,457 --> 01:13:43,167
Come here, sweetheart. Yeah.

1165
01:13:59,518 --> 01:14:02,019
Dad, you were like a father to me.

1166
01:14:03,522 --> 01:14:05,064
And...

1167
01:14:08,026 --> 01:14:10,653
...I don't know how
I'm gonna make it without you.

1168
01:14:14,741 --> 01:14:20,037
But I know that you'll look after me
from up there.

1169
01:14:24,334 --> 01:14:26,586
I'm gonna make you proud, Dad.

1170
01:14:27,212 --> 01:14:28,671
Okay.

1171
01:14:29,923 --> 01:14:31,549
I promise.

1172
01:14:34,052 --> 01:14:35,803
I love you.

1173
01:14:38,390 --> 01:14:40,224
Say hi to Mom.

1174
01:14:58,869 --> 01:15:00,453
Bye, Daddy.

1175
01:15:11,215 --> 01:15:14,425
He was a great guy. You would've
loved him. He was just like me.

1176
01:15:17,471 --> 01:15:19,013
Hey....

1177
01:15:20,974 --> 01:15:26,437
There's something I've been wanting
to tell you I feel pretty awful about.

1178
01:15:26,605 --> 01:15:29,857
I kind of want to get it off my chest. I....

1179
01:15:33,612 --> 01:15:35,947
I ditched you at the rest stop
in Louisiana.

1180
01:15:36,490 --> 01:15:39,492
-What?
-I had no intention of coming back.

1181
01:15:40,285 --> 01:15:42,119
So wrong.

1182
01:15:42,955 --> 01:15:44,247
Why would you do that?

1183
01:15:44,414 --> 01:15:47,124
Because I'm a pig. I'm an asshole.
I'm working on it.

1184
01:15:50,128 --> 01:15:52,964
Well, you know what?
You came back with doughnuts.

1185
01:15:53,423 --> 01:15:55,883
I think that says more
about you than leaving does.

1186
01:15:56,051 --> 01:15:57,468
So...

1187
01:15:58,178 --> 01:15:59,220
...just--

1188
01:15:59,388 --> 01:16:01,138
You're something else. Thanks.

1189
01:16:06,019 --> 01:16:07,812
That's a load off.

1190
01:16:08,146 --> 01:16:11,899
Well, there's something I've been
wanting to get off my chest too.

1191
01:16:12,067 --> 01:16:13,150
Shoot.

1192
01:16:15,487 --> 01:16:16,988
I'm not really 23 years old.

1193
01:16:19,449 --> 01:16:20,866
I know.

1194
01:16:21,493 --> 01:16:22,660
It's okay.

1195
01:16:24,162 --> 01:16:26,038
The other thing is...

1196
01:16:28,000 --> 01:16:29,500
...Peter...

1197
01:16:31,128 --> 01:16:33,838
...I have your wallet
and I've had it this whole time.

1198
01:16:34,006 --> 01:16:35,464
What?

1199
01:16:36,633 --> 01:16:38,301
What are you talking about?

1200
01:16:40,804 --> 01:16:42,179
Peter...

1201
01:16:42,723 --> 01:16:44,473
...okay, listen.

1202
01:16:45,559 --> 01:16:47,351
Why would you do that?

1203
01:16:47,519 --> 01:16:50,479
I saw it on the plane
and I didn't wanna be alone.

1204
01:16:50,647 --> 01:16:53,482
I was feeling vulnerable
because of my father's death.

1205
01:16:53,650 --> 01:16:57,653
And I just didn't wanna go across country
by myself, you know?

1206
01:16:59,531 --> 01:17:01,073
-It's all here.
-Yeah.

1207
01:17:01,241 --> 01:17:04,577
All my money, all my credit cards.
Everything....

1208
01:17:05,912 --> 01:17:07,538
Everything I needed.

1209
01:17:07,873 --> 01:17:09,582
This whole time.

1210
01:17:14,921 --> 01:17:17,673
-You're okay with it?
-It's in the past.

1211
01:17:18,258 --> 01:17:19,884
What are you gonna do?

1212
01:17:23,430 --> 01:17:25,306
-Okay.
-Okay.

1213
01:17:25,724 --> 01:17:28,184
-Thanks, Peter.
-Yep.

1214
01:17:28,727 --> 01:17:31,103
Okay. Okay.
Let's just hit the road then, right?

1215
01:17:31,271 --> 01:17:34,231
-You get Sonny, and I'll drive.
-I'll grab him in a minute.

1216
01:17:34,399 --> 01:17:36,734
-After I fucking kill you!
-Ow!

1217
01:17:37,569 --> 01:17:39,904
You little thief prick.

1218
01:17:40,072 --> 01:17:41,906
Die, thief. You thief.

1219
01:17:42,407 --> 01:17:43,532
Calm down!

1220
01:17:44,868 --> 01:17:47,078
Peter, count to 1 0. It'll help. Aah!

1221
01:17:48,955 --> 01:17:51,540
The phone's ringing!

1222
01:17:57,964 --> 01:18:00,341
-Hello, dear.
-Peter, it's happening.

1223
01:18:00,509 --> 01:18:02,802
-What?
-You won't believe it. My water broke.

1224
01:18:04,012 --> 01:18:05,971
-How?
-Where are you?

1225
01:18:06,515 --> 01:18:09,016
I'm at the Grand Canyon.
I'll be there in a minute.

1226
01:18:09,184 --> 01:18:11,435
What? Did you just say
the Grand Canyon?

1227
01:18:13,605 --> 01:18:14,939
Peter?

1228
01:18:15,857 --> 01:18:18,025
Mom? He's at the Grand Canyon.

1229
01:18:18,193 --> 01:18:19,944
Oh, my God.

1230
01:18:20,195 --> 01:18:22,196
-Who was it?
-My wife has gone into labor.

1231
01:18:22,406 --> 01:18:25,783
-I thought we were having a C-section.
-Get in the car.

1232
01:18:26,952 --> 01:18:29,870
You stepped on my Capezios.
Okay, okay, okay!

1233
01:18:30,038 --> 01:18:31,539
Let's go!

1234
01:18:32,124 --> 01:18:34,125
Good God, you maniac.

1235
01:18:48,473 --> 01:18:52,143
Not gonna make it. That's great.
I'm gonna miss the birth of my child.

1236
01:18:53,061 --> 01:18:54,145
We are gonna make it.

1237
01:18:54,312 --> 01:18:56,313
There's no "we." Don't say "we."

1238
01:19:00,485 --> 01:19:03,028
-Okay, look-- No. Me first.
-Please, can I--?

1239
01:19:03,196 --> 01:19:05,322
No. You can't. I told you I saw red.

1240
01:19:05,490 --> 01:19:08,409
I told you I was gonna put hands on you.
I have a problem.

1241
01:19:09,077 --> 01:19:11,495
And I'm sorry you were
the recipient of it.

1242
01:19:11,663 --> 01:19:13,330
But I warned you.

1243
01:19:14,207 --> 01:19:16,083
-I'm sorry.
-Fine.

1244
01:19:16,251 --> 01:19:19,086
But in the future,
when we're hanging out as buddies...

1245
01:19:19,254 --> 01:19:22,381
...if we get into a fight,
don't go for my face.

1246
01:19:22,549 --> 01:19:25,259
-That's how I make a living. Okay?
-Okay.

1247
01:19:26,553 --> 01:19:27,970
Still bleeding.

1248
01:19:28,138 --> 01:19:31,056
Check the glove, there's probably
a first-aid kit or something.

1249
01:19:32,392 --> 01:19:33,768
Clean yourself up.

1250
01:19:35,771 --> 01:19:36,854
Check this thing out.

1251
01:19:47,532 --> 01:19:49,033
Oh, shoot.

1252
01:19:55,874 --> 01:19:57,374
I can't believe I did that.

1253
01:19:58,376 --> 01:20:00,044
Sorry, Peter. I'm so sorry.

1254
01:20:01,755 --> 01:20:04,215
I didn't think it was loaded. Pull over.

1255
01:20:04,382 --> 01:20:06,300
-No, I wanna keep going.
-No. Pull over.

1256
01:20:06,468 --> 01:20:07,802
-I don't want to.
-Pull over.

1257
01:20:07,969 --> 01:20:10,387
No, it didn't happen,
it didn't happen! Why?!

1258
01:20:10,555 --> 01:20:13,599
-I'm in shock!
-It burns!

1259
01:20:14,976 --> 01:20:17,561
Pull over! Pull over!

1260
01:20:20,899 --> 01:20:23,901
Don't panic! Don't panic! Don't panic!

1261
01:20:38,083 --> 01:20:39,333
-Oh, no.
-Yep.

1262
01:20:40,085 --> 01:20:41,085
It's right there, yep.

1263
01:20:41,461 --> 01:20:42,878
-I'm so sorry.
-Don't worry.

1264
01:20:43,046 --> 01:20:45,130
We gotta stop the bleeding.
I need your scarf.

1265
01:20:45,298 --> 01:20:48,634
-Turn around?
-No. No, a tourniquet. A tourniquet.

1266
01:20:48,802 --> 01:20:50,261
What the fuck are you doing?

1267
01:20:50,428 --> 01:20:53,013
Turn around! Stay still. I got it.

1268
01:20:53,181 --> 01:20:57,017
You're fine. Right here.
I need you to tie it. I only got one hand.

1269
01:20:57,185 --> 01:20:59,436
It's deep.
We gotta get you to a hospital.

1270
01:20:59,604 --> 01:21:01,772
We're going to a hospital.
We're gonna be fine.

1271
01:21:01,940 --> 01:21:03,274
Oh, God! What did I do?

1272
01:21:03,441 --> 01:21:06,610
-Stop freaking out. It's okay.
-What did I do? What did I do?

1273
01:21:06,778 --> 01:21:10,823
Let's do a little acting exercise like we did
at the rest stop in the bathroom, okay?

1274
01:21:11,032 --> 01:21:13,617
You're a sergeant,
I'm just a grunt in your platoon...

1275
01:21:13,785 --> 01:21:17,997
...but you promised me that you'd get me
home to my high-school sweetheart.

1276
01:21:19,499 --> 01:21:20,958
Okay.

1277
01:21:21,459 --> 01:21:22,459
Action.

1278
01:21:27,048 --> 01:21:28,173
-Peter.
-Yeah?

1279
01:21:28,341 --> 01:21:29,842
I puked on the wound.

1280
01:21:30,010 --> 01:21:31,635
I know. It's okay, buddy.

1281
01:21:31,887 --> 01:21:34,221
I need you to drive, but we gotta go.

1282
01:21:34,389 --> 01:21:35,848
Okay?

1283
01:21:41,479 --> 01:21:42,938
Come on.

1284
01:21:43,481 --> 01:21:47,151
Get in the back seat, private.
What are you, a girl or something?

1285
01:21:47,319 --> 01:21:48,485
-Excellent.
-Like that?

1286
01:21:48,653 --> 01:21:50,154
-Yeah, let's roll.
-Yeah, okay.

1287
01:22:29,194 --> 01:22:31,153
-Figured it out yet?
-Figured what out?

1288
01:22:31,321 --> 01:22:33,697
Your son's about to be born.
What will you name him?

1289
01:22:33,865 --> 01:22:36,533
-I'll know it when I see him.
-How about "Sonny"?

1290
01:22:36,701 --> 01:22:39,453
No. Not naming my son
after a masturbating dog.

1291
01:22:39,621 --> 01:22:42,206
Don't listen to him, Sonny. He loves you.

1292
01:22:42,374 --> 01:22:44,208
Sonny, no!

1293
01:22:44,459 --> 01:22:46,585
Sonny. Sorry.

1294
01:22:47,212 --> 01:22:49,672
We're heading home!

1295
01:23:03,561 --> 01:23:04,895
I made it.

1296
01:23:05,063 --> 01:23:07,022
-Okay, come on.
-I made it.

1297
01:23:10,318 --> 01:23:12,945
Oh, the monkey, the monkey,
the monkey.

1298
01:23:14,906 --> 01:23:17,116
Sonny, we'll be right back, okay?

1299
01:23:17,492 --> 01:23:18,784
Got it.

1300
01:23:20,328 --> 01:23:21,578
Oh, fuck.

1301
01:23:21,746 --> 01:23:23,080
Thank you.

1302
01:23:25,333 --> 01:23:27,668
I have an expectant father
and a gunshot victim.

1303
01:23:27,836 --> 01:23:30,546
I know where we're going. Right here.

1304
01:23:30,797 --> 01:23:32,506
Then we cut left.

1305
01:23:33,758 --> 01:23:35,092
-Shoot.
-What?

1306
01:23:35,260 --> 01:23:37,261
I forgot to crack a window for Sonny.

1307
01:23:37,429 --> 01:23:40,139
-The door's off the car, Ethan.
-Right. Okay, good.

1308
01:23:40,306 --> 01:23:42,975
See? Together we think of everything.

1309
01:23:47,105 --> 01:23:49,148
Okay, here we go.

1310
01:23:52,277 --> 01:23:54,653
-Let's get you cleaned up. Right?
-Great. Yeah.

1311
01:23:54,821 --> 01:23:56,655
Give me these guys.

1312
01:23:57,949 --> 01:23:59,867
It's all about to go down.

1313
01:24:00,035 --> 01:24:03,454
Give you a vest, cover up the blood.

1314
01:24:09,544 --> 01:24:12,629
Have I told you that I love your perm?

1315
01:24:13,131 --> 01:24:14,298
Thank you, Peter.

1316
01:24:14,466 --> 01:24:17,468
Look who's come around.

1317
01:24:17,635 --> 01:24:19,261
Sarah?

1318
01:24:19,429 --> 01:24:21,972
No, come on, come on.
This way, this way. Here we go.

1319
01:24:22,140 --> 01:24:24,558
-Ma'am.
-Here we go.

1320
01:24:24,726 --> 01:24:27,061
Put your handcuffs in your pocket.
Hide them.

1321
01:24:27,228 --> 01:24:29,146
-Here's the Rally Monkey.
-Boom.

1322
01:24:30,273 --> 01:24:31,315
-Ohh!
-Just keep pushing.

1323
01:24:31,983 --> 01:24:33,025
Sarah?

1324
01:24:33,359 --> 01:24:35,319
-Sarah?
-Peter?

1325
01:24:35,487 --> 01:24:36,487
-You hear that?
Go!

1326
01:24:36,654 --> 01:24:39,156
Peter!
-Sarah!

1327
01:24:43,203 --> 01:24:45,579
Darryl. What the fuck?

1328
01:24:45,747 --> 01:24:48,165
Whoa, whoa. Whoa, hey.
-Who the hell is this guy?

1329
01:24:48,333 --> 01:24:49,875
You gotta go, man. You gotta go.

1330
01:24:50,043 --> 01:24:51,502
Peter!
-Peter, it's this way.

1331
01:24:51,669 --> 01:24:53,504
What the fuck?

1332
01:24:55,173 --> 01:24:57,174
Baby! Baby, you made it!

1333
01:24:57,842 --> 01:24:59,593
-Jesus, Peter, are you okay?
Baby?

1334
01:24:59,761 --> 01:25:01,845
No, I just lost a little blood.

1335
01:25:02,680 --> 01:25:05,182
-Ohh! Oh, my God!
Everybody relax.

1336
01:25:05,350 --> 01:25:07,351
Relax. We need to find a hospital, okay?

1337
01:25:07,519 --> 01:25:09,603
-Who are you?
-My name is Ethan Tremblay.

1338
01:25:09,771 --> 01:25:12,356
-I'm your husband's best friend.
-It's nice to meet you.

1339
01:25:12,524 --> 01:25:15,526
Nice to meet you too.
Let's get that baby out of your vagina.

1340
01:25:15,693 --> 01:25:17,194
Okay.

1341
01:25:18,363 --> 01:25:19,613
-Breathe.
-Ahh!

1342
01:25:23,868 --> 01:25:25,452
Look at the babies.

1343
01:25:25,745 --> 01:25:28,747
Look at that baby, right?

1344
01:25:30,458 --> 01:25:31,708
You see it?

1345
01:25:31,876 --> 01:25:33,877
Hey. What do we got?
-You little rascal.

1346
01:25:34,045 --> 01:25:35,546
-Look what you made.
-Show me.

1347
01:25:37,006 --> 01:25:40,134
Ohh. He's really cute.

1348
01:25:40,552 --> 01:25:42,553
That's a handsome boy.

1349
01:25:42,720 --> 01:25:44,763
-It's a girl, actually.
-Mm-mm.

1350
01:25:45,056 --> 01:25:46,223
-Yep.
-No, the--

1351
01:25:46,391 --> 01:25:48,392
Dr. Greene says it happens all the time.

1352
01:25:48,560 --> 01:25:50,602
You know, ultrasounds
aren't always reliable.

1353
01:25:50,770 --> 01:25:51,812
Right.

1354
01:25:51,980 --> 01:25:54,773
-Little Rosie.
-Rosie?

1355
01:25:55,608 --> 01:25:58,944
Little Rosie Highman.
Does that sound strange to you?

1356
01:25:59,112 --> 01:26:00,821
No, it's such a pretty name.

1357
01:26:00,989 --> 01:26:03,157
Sarah thought you'd be okay with it.

1358
01:26:03,324 --> 01:26:06,743
-When did you talk to Sarah?
-Right after I cut the umbilical cord.

1359
01:26:06,911 --> 01:26:12,124
-You cut it?
-The tether of life from mother to child.

1360
01:26:12,292 --> 01:26:13,417
I got to cut that.

1361
01:26:13,585 --> 01:26:14,877
-No.
-Yes.

1362
01:26:15,044 --> 01:26:16,086
-You?
-I kept some.

1363
01:26:16,254 --> 01:26:18,589
I kept a little bit of it
and put it in my wallet.

1364
01:26:19,257 --> 01:26:22,634
-It's good for sore ankles and stuff.
<i>-Wow.</i>

1365
01:26:23,553 --> 01:26:26,847
Wow. Oh, my God.

1366
01:26:27,432 --> 01:26:29,850
Oh, my God. Ethan, I dreamt this.

1367
01:26:30,018 --> 01:26:32,936
-This is crazy. I had this strange dream...
-Yeah?

1368
01:26:33,104 --> 01:26:34,438
...that was today.

1369
01:26:34,606 --> 01:26:36,648
And there was a bear.

1370
01:26:37,483 --> 01:26:38,525
What?

1371
01:26:38,693 --> 01:26:40,444
-And the bear chewed the cord.
-Mm-hm.

1372
01:26:40,612 --> 01:26:43,906
That's spot-on if you think about it.
That's like a one in a....

1373
01:26:44,073 --> 01:26:45,115
You know what I mean?

1374
01:26:45,283 --> 01:26:47,201
-I don't get it. What--?
-Forget it.

1375
01:26:47,368 --> 01:26:49,286
It's-- It's....

1376
01:26:50,705 --> 01:26:52,789
It's gotta be a good sign.

1377
01:26:58,004 --> 01:27:00,881
I guess I'll maybe leave you
with your family...

1378
01:27:01,049 --> 01:27:03,383
...and I got that meeting with that agent.

1379
01:27:03,551 --> 01:27:04,593
-It's Friday.
-Yeah.

1380
01:27:04,761 --> 01:27:05,844
Yeah, good luck.

1381
01:27:06,221 --> 01:27:09,598
Oh, I wanted to give you this.

1382
01:27:10,683 --> 01:27:12,851
It has all of my information.

1383
01:27:13,019 --> 01:27:15,896
-Mm-hm.
-ln case you wanna get a soda.

1384
01:27:16,064 --> 01:27:17,981
-Or, you know, I could babysit.
-Right.

1385
01:27:18,483 --> 01:27:20,817
I'll keep it handy.

1386
01:27:24,822 --> 01:27:27,866
We had a crazy few days.

1387
01:27:28,243 --> 01:27:29,534
That was nuts.

1388
01:27:29,702 --> 01:27:31,995
We should do it again.
Go across country again.

1389
01:27:32,914 --> 01:27:34,164
Okay.

1390
01:27:34,540 --> 01:27:36,917
-Sure.
-Call me tomorrow about it.

1391
01:27:37,168 --> 01:27:39,753
-If I don't--
-Call me tomorrow about it.

1392
01:27:40,171 --> 01:27:42,589
I might e-mail you.
Please don't take it personally.

1393
01:27:42,757 --> 01:27:43,924
No, no, e-mail's fine.

1394
01:27:46,844 --> 01:27:50,055
-Bye, Sonny.
-Do you mind if Sonny and I take the truck?

1395
01:27:50,223 --> 01:27:51,682
Feel free.

1396
01:27:53,017 --> 01:27:55,769
-It's been a real pleasure, Peter.
-Been a lot of things.

1397
01:28:02,527 --> 01:28:04,194
Thanks.

1398
01:28:11,953 --> 01:28:13,203
Hey. Ethan.

1399
01:28:16,082 --> 01:28:17,374
Welcome to Hollywood.

1400
01:28:17,542 --> 01:28:19,793
What? You want me
to come back and talk to you?

1401
01:28:19,961 --> 01:28:22,045
I was just saying
in the most general sense.

1402
01:28:22,380 --> 01:28:24,548
The city welcomes you.

1403
01:28:25,717 --> 01:28:27,968
Just make sure you call me tomorrow.

1404
01:28:29,345 --> 01:28:30,387
I'll call you.

1405
01:28:40,231 --> 01:28:41,481
MAN:
<i>Be right there.</i>

1406
01:28:46,279 --> 01:28:47,321
Hello?

1407
01:28:49,282 --> 01:28:52,492
Oh, hey. I'm Stu, the tutor.
Are you Jake?

1408
01:28:52,910 --> 01:28:54,286
No, I'm his father.

1409
01:28:54,579 --> 01:28:56,163
Oh.

1410
01:28:56,497 --> 01:28:58,457
I'm Stu, the tutor.

1411
01:28:58,750 --> 01:29:00,250
Right.

1412
01:29:01,419 --> 01:29:02,919
Have you been smoking pot?

1413
01:29:03,087 --> 01:29:05,130
No, sir. Not at all.

1414
01:29:06,257 --> 01:29:07,924
Perhaps you're smelling my cat.

1415
01:29:09,969 --> 01:29:12,095
Your cat?
<i>Yes, sir. He's an outdoor cat.</i>

1416
01:29:12,263 --> 01:29:14,598
You know what, he's really funny.

1417
01:29:14,766 --> 01:29:17,809
Don't get crazy.
I'm telling you, the show's funny.

1418
01:29:17,977 --> 01:29:20,354
Come on. You love him.
You know you love him.

1419
01:29:20,521 --> 01:29:22,773
I survived him. There's a difference.

1420
01:29:22,940 --> 01:29:26,526
<i>Um, uh, Charlie, this is Jake's tutor, Stu.</i>

1421
01:29:26,694 --> 01:29:29,446
<i>-Hey.</i>
<i>-I'm not high, man, it's my cat.</i>

1422
01:29:31,741 --> 01:29:33,116
<i>Relax, Stu. We're not cops.</i>

1423
01:29:33,284 --> 01:29:35,160
<i>Oh, really? He sure looks like the heat.</i>

1424
01:29:35,328 --> 01:29:38,497
Like clockwork. I told him
we'd call him after we watched it.

1425
01:29:38,664 --> 01:29:40,332
He's excited.

1426
01:29:41,292 --> 01:29:43,877
If she says his name, I'll freak out.

1427
01:29:45,129 --> 01:29:46,213
<i>Pita bread?</i>

1428
01:29:46,631 --> 01:29:47,631
<i>Hummus?</i>

1429
01:29:48,466 --> 01:29:50,467
<i>Again, no thank you.</i>

1430
01:29:52,011 --> 01:29:53,970
<i>You got any more pot?</i>

1431
01:29:54,347 --> 01:29:56,848
<i>Not for $9 an hour I don't.</i>

1432
01:29:57,975 --> 01:30:00,143
<i>I mean, I don't know</i>
<i>what you're talking about.</i>