1
00:01:24,418 --> 00:01:26,221
Not exactly what I
was looking for.

2
00:01:26,295 --> 00:01:29,842
Wait a minute, Bob. This is not
the only option we've got for you.

3
00:01:29,923 --> 00:01:31,430
Phil.

4
00:01:32,718 --> 00:01:34,687
Uh...
Yeah.

5
00:01:34,761 --> 00:01:37,098
Why do it like that,
in grey asparagus,

6
00:01:37,181 --> 00:01:41,653
when you can do it completely
differently in hunter green?

7
00:01:42,686 --> 00:01:43,813
Thank you for your time.

8
00:01:43,896 --> 00:01:45,236
- Bob...
- Bob?

9
00:01:49,610 --> 00:01:50,784
Have a seat.

10
00:01:50,861 --> 00:01:51,905
Who's that?

11
00:01:51,987 --> 00:01:55,949
It's Chris Meyers, one of our
brightest, young junior execs.

12
00:01:56,033 --> 00:01:58,832
He's very, very bright.

13
00:01:58,911 --> 00:02:00,631
You got 60 seconds.

14
00:02:03,790 --> 00:02:08,299
Say hello to the Krayton koala.

15
00:02:08,378 --> 00:02:10,929
He's soft, cuddly, absorbent.

16
00:02:11,006 --> 00:02:14,600
I present to you the new
face of Krayton bath tissue.

17
00:02:14,760 --> 00:02:15,934
Wow!

18
00:02:18,472 --> 00:02:19,593
You got yourselves a client.

19
00:02:19,598 --> 00:02:20,642
Yeah.

20
00:02:20,724 --> 00:02:22,729
Yes!

21
00:02:22,851 --> 00:02:24,856
- Unbelievable.
- He's a genius.

22
00:02:24,937 --> 00:02:26,443
- Hate to admit it, buddy.
- Hey.

23
00:02:26,522 --> 00:02:28,527
- But you really saved my ass.
- Ah!

24
00:02:28,607 --> 00:02:30,219
You've got a big raise
coming to you, pal.

25
00:02:30,246 --> 00:02:31,931
You better believe it,
you cheap bastard.

26
00:02:31,985 --> 00:02:34,453
- Let's go get me pregnant.
- Oh, sounds like a plan.

27
00:02:34,530 --> 00:02:35,822
Chris!

28
00:02:35,906 --> 00:02:37,709
Thank you. Back to work.
Back to work.

29
00:02:37,783 --> 00:02:39,289
- Chris!
- Chris!

30
00:02:39,368 --> 00:02:41,207
It's all I ever wanted.

31
00:02:41,286 --> 00:02:43,208
Chris. Chris!

32
00:02:46,124 --> 00:02:47,678
Hey, Phil. What's up?

33
00:02:47,751 --> 00:02:50,302
What's up?
It's crunch time, dude.

34
00:02:50,379 --> 00:02:52,514
Krayton's coming in
for the redesign pitch today.

35
00:02:52,589 --> 00:02:54,974
Need that bad boy ASA
quick as possible.

36
00:02:55,050 --> 00:02:58,644
Yeah, no, I got all the versions you
wanted done, exactly per your specs.

37
00:02:59,596 --> 00:03:00,807
What's that one right there?

38
00:03:00,889 --> 00:03:02,479
Oh, I actually...

39
00:03:02,558 --> 00:03:04,830
I actually just did a
design of my own, too.

40
00:03:04,857 --> 00:03:06,724
Kind of was hoping
to pitch Krayton.

41
00:03:06,770 --> 00:03:08,491
Cool. Cool.

42
00:03:08,564 --> 00:03:11,411
Why don't you let me take a look at it?
Maybe I can run it up to the big man.

43
00:03:11,483 --> 00:03:14,865
- Yeah, let us give the old look-see.
- That's a great idea, Troy.

44
00:03:14,945 --> 00:03:18,872
I'm just... I'm actually...
I'm really psyched about this one.

45
00:03:18,949 --> 00:03:22,496
And I was kind of hoping to
just take it to him myself.

46
00:03:22,578 --> 00:03:26,884
Well, credit will be given where
credit's due. It's just that... Fuck.

47
00:03:26,957 --> 00:03:29,128
Look at that girl, Troy.

48
00:03:31,712 --> 00:03:33,005
I tell you what.

49
00:03:33,714 --> 00:03:35,553
Why don't you practise
the pitch on me?

50
00:03:35,632 --> 00:03:37,969
Let me hear it one time,
make sure it's in tip-top shape.

51
00:03:38,635 --> 00:03:41,684
You don't wanna go in there and pitch
it to Krayton, look like an asshole.

52
00:03:44,016 --> 00:03:47,528
Okay. I'm Krayton, you're you.
Pitch me.

53
00:03:48,729 --> 00:03:49,772
Well, get ready.

54
00:03:51,148 --> 00:03:55,822
And razzle goes the dazzle.

55
00:03:56,111 --> 00:03:57,914
Don't ever say that again.

56
00:03:57,988 --> 00:04:01,998
I was trying to pick up the energy, but I
heard it coming out, and it felt wrong.

57
00:04:03,243 --> 00:04:04,584
What's with the goblin?

58
00:04:05,621 --> 00:04:07,127
Right there on the K.

59
00:04:08,248 --> 00:04:09,755
No. That's a koala bear.

60
00:04:09,833 --> 00:04:11,126
Why is there a koala bear?

61
00:04:11,210 --> 00:04:12,763
Troy brings up a good point.

62
00:04:12,836 --> 00:04:15,600
Well, I did a ton of research
into buying trends

63
00:04:15,672 --> 00:04:17,642
for more intimate products
like bath tissue.

64
00:04:17,716 --> 00:04:19,768
Yeah. Chris...

65
00:04:22,346 --> 00:04:25,359
I hate to say this to you, buddy.

66
00:04:25,432 --> 00:04:26,725
It's not that cuddly.

67
00:04:27,351 --> 00:04:30,779
It's got black, soulless eyes.

68
00:04:30,854 --> 00:04:33,239
- Like a demon's eyes.
- They are like a demon's eyes.

69
00:04:33,315 --> 00:04:35,285
No, no, they're green.
Demons' eyes are red.

70
00:04:35,359 --> 00:04:36,736
I think you're missing the point.

71
00:04:36,777 --> 00:04:39,113
You gotta imagine yourself
on the toilet, right?

72
00:04:39,196 --> 00:04:42,209
You got your pants around your
ankles, and you just wanna do what?

73
00:04:42,282 --> 00:04:45,497
All you really want is to get
the shit out of your butt.

74
00:04:45,577 --> 00:04:47,499
You wanna relax.

75
00:04:47,579 --> 00:04:50,042
You don't wanna have to
worry about anything,

76
00:04:50,069 --> 00:04:51,995
especially an
Australian devil bear

77
00:04:52,042 --> 00:04:54,806
coming up out of the toilet
and clawing at your nut sack.

78
00:04:54,878 --> 00:04:56,715
Well, I think that
might just be your own

79
00:04:56,743 --> 00:04:58,665
very personal association
with koala bears.

80
00:04:58,715 --> 00:05:00,222
- Is it?
- No.

81
00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:01,688
No, that's the image I got,
too, right away.

82
00:05:01,715 --> 00:05:02,383
You got it, too?

83
00:05:02,386 --> 00:05:03,513
- Yeah.
- Troy got it.

84
00:05:03,595 --> 00:05:05,597
I feel like you guys aren't
letting this sink in.

85
00:05:07,057 --> 00:05:10,439
It just sunk in. Here's the thing. Gotta
call an audible. Not gonna use this.

86
00:05:10,519 --> 00:05:12,690
Let's go with the tried and true.
Should we vote?

87
00:05:13,397 --> 00:05:15,651
Tried and true. All right.

88
00:05:15,732 --> 00:05:16,776
Troy likes it.

89
00:05:16,859 --> 00:05:19,278
I didn't know which way Troy was
gonna go. Thank you, Troy.

90
00:05:19,319 --> 00:05:22,617
All right, just trying to look
out for you, homey G.

91
00:05:24,157 --> 00:05:25,711
Let's go, Troy.

92
00:05:28,912 --> 00:05:31,546
I mean, I don't care
if he's technically your superior.

93
00:05:31,623 --> 00:05:33,501
You don't have to take
that shit off him, man.

94
00:05:33,542 --> 00:05:35,669
Well, technically, I do.
That's what superior means.

95
00:05:35,836 --> 00:05:36,928
Ugh!

96
00:05:37,004 --> 00:05:39,175
- Good morning, Chris.
- Hey.

97
00:05:39,256 --> 00:05:40,430
Jared.

98
00:05:44,595 --> 00:05:46,600
Are you sleeping with Brenda again?

99
00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:48,981
No. Not presently.

100
00:05:49,057 --> 00:05:52,439
But I just gotta tell you, man,
there is something about that girl.

101
00:05:52,519 --> 00:05:56,363
She just unleashes
something primal in me.

102
00:05:56,440 --> 00:05:57,531
I know what you mean.

103
00:05:57,608 --> 00:05:59,161
Hey. Hey!

104
00:06:00,611 --> 00:06:02,698
What's up?

105
00:06:02,779 --> 00:06:05,663
You ladies gossiping again
about all the hot guys in the office?

106
00:06:05,741 --> 00:06:07,247
Uh, busted. Yeah.
Chris and I were just talking about

107
00:06:07,326 --> 00:06:09,746
stripping down to our bra and panties
and having a little tickle fight.

108
00:06:09,828 --> 00:06:12,047
If you're interested in joining,
maybe refereeing?

109
00:06:12,122 --> 00:06:14,590
He's joking.
We've never tickled each other.

110
00:06:15,918 --> 00:06:17,508
We would never do that.

111
00:06:18,629 --> 00:06:20,266
Right.

112
00:06:20,672 --> 00:06:22,096
Um...

113
00:06:22,216 --> 00:06:24,801
Anyway, I'm actually just
here on official HR business.

114
00:06:24,885 --> 00:06:26,059
Just to remind you guys

115
00:06:26,136 --> 00:06:29,233
about the big mystery meeting
in the conference room at 4:00 p.m.

116
00:06:29,306 --> 00:06:31,477
- Hoo! Why all the secrecy?
- I don't know.

117
00:06:31,558 --> 00:06:35,568
Crawford just says it's very important.
So just don't be late, okay?

118
00:06:35,646 --> 00:06:37,485
Okay.

119
00:06:37,564 --> 00:06:39,071
It's a date.

120
00:06:39,858 --> 00:06:41,032
Hmm?

121
00:06:44,613 --> 00:06:46,665
What is wrong with you?

122
00:06:46,740 --> 00:06:49,457
I hate myself.
I'm a horrible person.

123
00:06:49,535 --> 00:06:52,797
You have a heart.
That's about all you have right now.

124
00:06:52,871 --> 00:06:54,592
Hey, Brenda.

125
00:06:54,665 --> 00:06:57,145
Just a reminder, we have a 4:00
meeting in the conference room.

126
00:06:57,167 --> 00:06:58,259
I remember.

127
00:06:58,335 --> 00:07:00,055
Hey, did I show you the
newest addition to the fam?

128
00:07:00,128 --> 00:07:01,339
No.

129
00:07:02,381 --> 00:07:05,228
I'm calling him Sergeant Snuggles.

130
00:07:05,926 --> 00:07:09,722
'Cause he's reporting for duty,
like, every day.

131
00:07:09,805 --> 00:07:12,059
Aw! Brenda,
I didn't know you liked rabbits.

132
00:07:12,140 --> 00:07:14,359
Oh, yeah, right, Lisa.

133
00:07:16,979 --> 00:07:18,450
Did I ever show you this one?

134
00:07:18,522 --> 00:07:20,444
- Oh, is that you?
- Yes.

135
00:07:20,524 --> 00:07:24,367
And that there is Mr Bumbles.
He was my favourite.

136
00:07:24,444 --> 00:07:27,374
When I was eight,
I wanted to marry him.

137
00:07:27,447 --> 00:07:29,951
But society would never allow that.

138
00:07:31,577 --> 00:07:33,961
Well, you never know.

139
00:07:35,914 --> 00:07:37,088
No.

140
00:07:39,751 --> 00:07:41,472
Chris, why aren't you at the pitch?

141
00:07:41,545 --> 00:07:43,985
Phil said Krayton's
not coming until 3:00.

142
00:07:44,012 --> 00:07:45,996
No, it's on the books for 2:15.

143
00:07:46,049 --> 00:07:46,571
What?

144
00:07:46,586 --> 00:07:48,626
Yeah. They're all in
the conference room.

145
00:07:48,677 --> 00:07:50,148
Aw!

146
00:07:53,724 --> 00:07:57,105
In the wild, koala bears
don't need to wipe their bottom.

147
00:07:57,186 --> 00:08:01,492
But if they did, they would ask
Koala Phil how to do it.

148
00:08:04,693 --> 00:08:06,994
I like it! I like it!

149
00:08:07,696 --> 00:08:09,250
Thank you.

150
00:08:09,323 --> 00:08:10,960
Thanks very much.

151
00:08:11,033 --> 00:08:12,670
Thanks, everybody.

152
00:08:15,579 --> 00:08:16,836
Gosh!

153
00:08:16,914 --> 00:08:19,879
How can he just so blatantly
steal my work like that?

154
00:08:19,958 --> 00:08:22,046
"Koala Phil"?
It's not even alliterative.

155
00:08:22,127 --> 00:08:24,215
Yeah. That's the real tragedy.

156
00:08:24,296 --> 00:08:25,924
You know, he's just
gonna homogenise it,

157
00:08:25,964 --> 00:08:28,645
and in the end, it's gonna
look like every other koala.

158
00:08:28,717 --> 00:08:30,936
All right. You know what?
Let's take care of Phil once and for all.

159
00:08:31,011 --> 00:08:32,846
Call my buddy Regg.
He's an Algonquin Indian.

160
00:08:32,888 --> 00:08:35,189
We tell him there's a white guy
fucking up shit for you and your land.

161
00:08:35,265 --> 00:08:37,401
- He'll take care of it. 40 bucks.
- You know what I'm gonna do?

162
00:08:37,476 --> 00:08:39,528
I'm gonna march right into
Mr Crawford's office.

163
00:08:39,603 --> 00:08:40,730
I'm gonna march right in.

164
00:08:40,812 --> 00:08:42,900
I'm gonna tell him exactly what
Phil did, just lay it right out.

165
00:08:42,981 --> 00:08:44,868
You do it. You do it.
Right this wrong.

166
00:08:45,609 --> 00:08:47,448
We shall overcome!

167
00:08:48,320 --> 00:08:51,748
- Where do you think you're going?
- I need to speak to him.

168
00:08:51,823 --> 00:08:52,867
He's in a meeting.

169
00:08:52,950 --> 00:08:53,993
Can you please open the door?

170
00:08:54,076 --> 00:08:55,369
Absolutely not.

171
00:08:55,452 --> 00:08:57,621
Sounds like I'll make
us a tee time, then.

172
00:08:57,648 --> 00:08:59,109
Bring your wallet, bitch.

173
00:08:59,164 --> 00:09:01,050
I'm not a bitch.

174
00:09:01,124 --> 00:09:03,130
- Um, Mr Crawford?
- Yes?

175
00:09:03,210 --> 00:09:04,503
Chris wants a word with you.

176
00:09:10,968 --> 00:09:16,105
Now, Chris, I believe you
believe Koala Phil is your idea.

177
00:09:16,181 --> 00:09:19,111
But sometimes, a person can think that
they came up with something

178
00:09:19,184 --> 00:09:21,070
when it actually came
from somewhere else.

179
00:09:21,144 --> 00:09:23,146
Mr Crawford, that is not
what happened here. I...

180
00:09:23,188 --> 00:09:25,905
Now this sort of thing
happens all the time.

181
00:09:25,983 --> 00:09:30,372
For 25 years, I was convinced
that I invented the BLT.

182
00:09:30,445 --> 00:09:32,914
The bacon-lettuce-and-tomato
sandwich?

183
00:09:32,990 --> 00:09:34,959
Absolutely positive.

184
00:09:35,033 --> 00:09:36,421
I'd brag to women about it.

185
00:09:36,493 --> 00:09:38,415
I tried to convince my friends.

186
00:09:38,495 --> 00:09:41,959
Well, turns out
it dates back to the 19th century.

187
00:09:42,040 --> 00:09:46,300
I must've been exposed to it
when I was a child, and forgotten.

188
00:09:46,378 --> 00:09:48,300
The brain, you know.

189
00:09:48,380 --> 00:09:50,183
So let's just let this one go, okay?

190
00:09:50,257 --> 00:09:52,558
Mr Crawford, Phil stole my work.

191
00:09:52,634 --> 00:09:54,474
Why do you think

192
00:09:54,553 --> 00:09:58,266
I was given the Martin P. Shulman
Award for Excellence in Business?

193
00:09:59,308 --> 00:10:03,318
For beating my meat
in some goddamn jerk-off competition?

194
00:10:03,395 --> 00:10:05,649
It would be a very misleading name
if that were the case.

195
00:10:05,731 --> 00:10:09,741
Not that I couldn't hold my own
in a competition like that.

196
00:10:09,818 --> 00:10:11,372
I could.

197
00:10:11,445 --> 00:10:14,791
I'd be able to perform, no problem.

198
00:10:14,865 --> 00:10:16,039
I'm sure.

199
00:10:16,116 --> 00:10:17,208
No.

200
00:10:17,868 --> 00:10:22,423
I got this award because I know a thing
or two about what I'm doing, God damn it.

201
00:10:22,497 --> 00:10:27,753
And what I want from you, son, is for you
to stop trying to sabotage Phil Trager.

202
00:10:28,837 --> 00:10:31,305
And start trying to emulate him.

203
00:10:31,381 --> 00:10:33,802
Prove to me

204
00:10:33,884 --> 00:10:37,562
that you deserve a place
here on the Crawford team.

205
00:10:37,638 --> 00:10:39,524
Go. Go get 'em.

206
00:10:41,058 --> 00:10:44,107
I did you a favour, bud.

207
00:10:44,186 --> 00:10:47,365
You would've blown that pitch.
Now the koala lives on.

208
00:10:47,439 --> 00:10:49,859
You had no right to do that.
You had no right.

209
00:10:49,942 --> 00:10:52,528
Chris, what is with the
selfish behaviour?

210
00:10:52,611 --> 00:10:56,538
The ideas within these walls
are our ideas. We're a family.

211
00:10:56,615 --> 00:10:57,789
Yeah.

212
00:10:57,866 --> 00:11:02,173
Oh, by the way, if you ever tattletale
on me again, things are gonna get ugly.

213
00:11:02,246 --> 00:11:04,547
Real F-ing ugly.

214
00:11:37,072 --> 00:11:41,034
My entire adult life
has been spent in packaging design.

215
00:11:41,118 --> 00:11:46,717
I've come into this office every day
at 7:00 sharp for the last 27 years.

216
00:11:46,790 --> 00:11:48,546
And that could be any one of you.

217
00:11:49,751 --> 00:11:52,681
Even you back there
with the squidgy face.

218
00:11:52,754 --> 00:11:55,638
If you can show the
teamwork and leadership

219
00:11:55,716 --> 00:11:59,228
necessary to succeed
in this tough economic climate.

220
00:11:59,303 --> 00:12:01,681
But, frankly, I haven't seen
much of that from any of you.

221
00:12:02,097 --> 00:12:03,936
Except, of course, for Phil.

222
00:12:04,016 --> 00:12:05,937
Come on, boss. It's a team sport.

223
00:12:07,144 --> 00:12:09,398
That's why, tomorrow,
I'm sending all of you

224
00:12:09,479 --> 00:12:13,952
on a mandatory two-day, two-night
teamwork leadership wilderness retreat.

225
00:12:14,026 --> 00:12:15,069
What?

226
00:12:15,152 --> 00:12:19,209
Now, I will not be able to
accompany you on this excursion.

227
00:12:19,907 --> 00:12:22,410
But I turn it over
to a man who will.

228
00:12:22,492 --> 00:12:23,785
Thank you.

229
00:12:30,626 --> 00:12:33,046
My name is Storm.

230
00:12:33,128 --> 00:12:35,050
Storm Rothchild.

231
00:12:36,632 --> 00:12:39,135
I'm a certified teamwork instructor.

232
00:12:39,218 --> 00:12:41,305
Now, I know what you're thinking.

233
00:12:41,637 --> 00:12:47,604
"This guy teaches about business?
We went to Harvard University." Whatever.

234
00:12:47,684 --> 00:12:52,489
Well, I'm here to tell you,
I went to my own school,

235
00:12:52,564 --> 00:12:55,032
the school of the hard knocks.

236
00:12:56,527 --> 00:12:59,207
I also took some
classes at DeVry once.

237
00:12:59,279 --> 00:13:00,786
Mostly web design.

238
00:13:00,864 --> 00:13:05,040
But then some stuff came up.
You know, some personal stuff.

239
00:13:12,626 --> 00:13:13,883
Am I interrupting you?

240
00:13:13,961 --> 00:13:16,297
No. No.

241
00:13:16,380 --> 00:13:17,673
Can I see that, please?

242
00:13:17,756 --> 00:13:21,517
Yeah, I... It's not something...
It's not... I just...

243
00:13:25,264 --> 00:13:26,651
Sorry about that.

244
00:13:26,723 --> 00:13:28,942
You must have big
rocks between your legs.

245
00:13:29,017 --> 00:13:30,857
I... No.

246
00:13:30,936 --> 00:13:32,656
You think you can stare
me down, boy?

247
00:13:32,729 --> 00:13:34,735
Stare you down?

248
00:13:34,815 --> 00:13:38,029
No, I mean, you're just talking.
I'm just listening.

249
00:13:38,110 --> 00:13:38,928
Shh!

250
00:13:38,955 --> 00:13:42,228
And I was... Okay. I'm
not staring you down.

251
00:13:43,824 --> 00:13:44,916
Strike one.

252
00:13:46,285 --> 00:13:47,542
Oh, shit.

253
00:13:47,619 --> 00:13:50,419
I'm a military man.

254
00:13:50,497 --> 00:13:52,585
Navy SEAL, Special Forces,
you name it.

255
00:13:52,666 --> 00:13:55,086
I've seen men die.

256
00:13:55,169 --> 00:13:56,675
I've made men cry.

257
00:13:58,338 --> 00:14:03,688
I will offer you the most intense
wilderness experience allowed by law.

258
00:14:04,386 --> 00:14:07,269
We'll fly off to an island

259
00:14:07,347 --> 00:14:12,437
where it will be you
and me versus nature.

260
00:14:13,103 --> 00:14:16,401
I will teach you negotiation.

261
00:14:18,108 --> 00:14:19,401
Teamwork.

262
00:14:20,986 --> 00:14:22,030
Leadership.

263
00:14:22,738 --> 00:14:28,705
And if we're not too careful,
we may have a little fun.

264
00:14:31,288 --> 00:14:33,589
I will see you at 0600.

265
00:14:33,665 --> 00:14:35,006
Dismissed.

266
00:14:35,083 --> 00:14:36,127
Oh! Hang on.

267
00:14:36,210 --> 00:14:41,347
We're gonna have a little soiree in honour
of Phil and the Krayton deal at McCabe's.

268
00:14:41,423 --> 00:14:42,508
Drinks are on the company.

269
00:14:43,217 --> 00:14:45,138
- Great!
- Yes!

270
00:14:46,637 --> 00:14:48,108
I don't know.

271
00:14:49,973 --> 00:14:51,527
Teamwork.

272
00:14:51,600 --> 00:14:53,439
Mortal Kombat is more like it.

273
00:14:53,519 --> 00:14:55,855
Relax, Dale. It's just a silly
team-building exercise.

274
00:14:55,938 --> 00:14:59,034
Word has it, there are some major
cutbacks coming down the pike.

275
00:14:59,107 --> 00:15:02,453
How you perform on this trip determines
your future with this company.

276
00:15:03,737 --> 00:15:05,197
If I were you,
I'd really watch out.

277
00:15:05,697 --> 00:15:07,217
Trying to steal Phil's
thunder and all.

278
00:15:07,282 --> 00:15:09,916
Yeah, all right, Dale.
We're just trying to have a good time.

279
00:15:10,369 --> 00:15:11,875
I'm having a good time.

280
00:15:14,623 --> 00:15:17,257
I wouldn't count on
these drinks being for free.

281
00:15:18,210 --> 00:15:19,717
That is a dark human being.

282
00:15:19,795 --> 00:15:22,642
Just one more, and then cut
me off, please. Thank you.

283
00:15:23,549 --> 00:15:24,723
- Hey, guys.
- Hey.

284
00:15:24,800 --> 00:15:26,307
You ready for this big nature trip?

285
00:15:26,385 --> 00:15:29,731
Oh, I am shitting
myself in anticipation.

286
00:15:30,264 --> 00:15:33,645
I'm not much of a camper,
but it could be fun, right?

287
00:15:33,725 --> 00:15:37,736
I'm not much of a camper either.
But luckily for us, Chris is.

288
00:15:37,813 --> 00:15:39,782
In fact, this man was an Eagle
Scout when he was, like, 25.

289
00:15:39,857 --> 00:15:42,193
That's not true. I was 19.
Then I cut it off.

290
00:15:42,276 --> 00:15:44,245
They even made him a scoutmaster.

291
00:15:44,319 --> 00:15:46,656
And he was taking boys out
in the woods and stuff.

292
00:15:46,738 --> 00:15:47,866
Well, it's really... I'd sound so...

293
00:15:47,948 --> 00:15:50,035
- I'd stop talking about it.
- Why don't you stop the humility act?

294
00:15:50,117 --> 00:15:51,623
'Cause he also won
the Silver Badger,

295
00:15:51,702 --> 00:15:53,873
which is, like, the highest award
that the Boy Scouts give out.

296
00:15:53,954 --> 00:15:55,377
- So, we're in good hands.
- Beaver. It's the Beaver.

297
00:15:55,455 --> 00:15:56,962
Cool. Excuse me?

298
00:15:58,959 --> 00:16:02,091
It's the Silver Beaver.
Minor distinction.

299
00:16:03,005 --> 00:16:04,808
Silver Beaver?

300
00:16:04,882 --> 00:16:06,435
That's a terrible name.

301
00:16:06,508 --> 00:16:08,311
I'm sorry.

302
00:16:08,385 --> 00:16:10,846
If I knew that was the name,
I would not have brought it up.

303
00:16:12,139 --> 00:16:13,183
Thanks so much.

304
00:16:14,516 --> 00:16:17,695
Well, it'll be really good to have
you out there, Silver Beaver.

305
00:16:19,021 --> 00:16:20,492
Oh, I'm sorry.

306
00:16:26,320 --> 00:16:29,784
I can't believe I have to spend a weekend
on an island with Phil.

307
00:16:29,865 --> 00:16:33,211
You gotta relax, man.
Guy's not worth it.

308
00:16:33,285 --> 00:16:35,539
Don't do that. I don't wanna
show up smelling like pot.

309
00:16:35,621 --> 00:16:38,420
Well, you shouldn't have
picked me up, then.

310
00:16:39,750 --> 00:16:42,384
You know he spends 200 bucks
a month on Internet porn?

311
00:16:42,461 --> 00:16:45,973
And it's all Filipino
anal brutality.

312
00:16:46,048 --> 00:16:49,145
- How do you know that?
- I can access everyone's email account.

313
00:16:50,302 --> 00:16:51,856
What am I supposed to do,
not read it?

314
00:16:52,763 --> 00:16:53,890
No.

315
00:16:53,972 --> 00:16:55,609
Come on. Let's go. We're late.

316
00:17:04,149 --> 00:17:06,450
Come on! Let's move, people!

317
00:17:16,328 --> 00:17:18,499
This is a cargo plane.

318
00:17:18,580 --> 00:17:20,751
- Yup.
- I'm not getting on that.

319
00:17:21,625 --> 00:17:24,840
Come on, guys.
You can't live forever.

320
00:17:24,920 --> 00:17:26,842
I agree with you, Lisa.

321
00:17:40,727 --> 00:17:43,195
Jesus. Get a load of the pilot.

322
00:17:48,443 --> 00:17:51,243
We're all gonna die.

323
00:18:10,174 --> 00:18:11,645
You Okay?

324
00:18:13,844 --> 00:18:15,730
It's gonna be good.
We're gonna be all right.

325
00:18:33,113 --> 00:18:35,913
The bird has landed.

326
00:18:38,744 --> 00:18:41,164
Welcome to Big Mama Nature's house.

327
00:18:41,246 --> 00:18:44,592
It's just us and the jungle now.

328
00:18:44,666 --> 00:18:47,929
- It's so humid. I'm pitting out.
- Where are we?

329
00:18:48,003 --> 00:18:49,344
I have no idea.

330
00:18:49,421 --> 00:18:54,427
Hey, just remember
I'm in charge here.

331
00:18:54,510 --> 00:18:57,440
- I think we got off on the wrong foot.
- Is that...

332
00:19:01,266 --> 00:19:03,817
Am I smelling marijuana?

333
00:19:03,894 --> 00:19:06,279
No.

334
00:19:06,355 --> 00:19:08,490
You've been night-riding
on my watch, boy?

335
00:19:08,565 --> 00:19:10,736
Night-riding? No, sir. No, sir.

336
00:19:10,817 --> 00:19:13,202
Is that your goal in life?
To get on top of my shit list?

337
00:19:13,278 --> 00:19:17,750
Mr Storm, I swear I was not
night-riding. I wouldn't do that.

338
00:19:18,867 --> 00:19:22,794
Watch yourself, Kumar,
because I've got my eye on you.

339
00:19:23,413 --> 00:19:24,457
Okay.

340
00:19:28,544 --> 00:19:32,138
Sorry, amigo.
But this is so much better stoned.

341
00:19:32,214 --> 00:19:33,768
You're a dick.

342
00:19:34,132 --> 00:19:35,473
Psst!

343
00:19:35,676 --> 00:19:37,562
Psst! Chris! Come here.

344
00:19:38,178 --> 00:19:40,859
Come here, I gotta talk to you.

345
00:19:41,682 --> 00:19:42,773
- Hey!
- What?

346
00:19:42,850 --> 00:19:44,273
- I need your help. Come here.
- What are you doing?

347
00:19:44,351 --> 00:19:46,605
Dude, I know you're pissed at me,
but we need to work as a team.

348
00:19:46,687 --> 00:19:48,277
I need your binoculars.

349
00:19:49,273 --> 00:19:50,945
Get down. Get down.

350
00:19:51,024 --> 00:19:54,073
This is important.
This is a business meeting.

351
00:19:54,152 --> 00:19:58,744
Oh, my God.
Look at Traci's breasts.

352
00:19:58,824 --> 00:20:00,663
I mean, is she pregnant, or what?
Those are huge.

353
00:20:00,742 --> 00:20:01,863
Just give me the binoculars.

354
00:20:01,869 --> 00:20:05,083
Chris, please, okay? These are our
co-workers. We deserve this.

355
00:20:05,914 --> 00:20:08,085
Oh, yes, Ashley.

356
00:20:08,166 --> 00:20:10,847
Yeah, feel those things.

357
00:20:10,919 --> 00:20:13,090
There's a mammogram
going on over there.

358
00:20:13,172 --> 00:20:14,178
You know, I'm not
comfortable lurking here.

359
00:20:14,205 --> 00:20:14,455
Shh!

360
00:20:14,506 --> 00:20:15,977
- Those are my binoculars.
- I'm not comfortable either.

361
00:20:16,049 --> 00:20:17,390
What if one of us pops a boner?

362
00:20:18,218 --> 00:20:20,899
Oh! And look who it is now.

363
00:20:20,971 --> 00:20:25,527
It's little Jenny Wong, the Kung Fu
Panda, 'cause she's Asian.

364
00:20:25,601 --> 00:20:28,069
- That's so racist.
- You know, just once,

365
00:20:28,145 --> 00:20:30,648
I would like to eat a fortune cookie
out of Jenny Wong's butthole.

366
00:20:30,731 --> 00:20:32,119
Jesus! Out of her butthole?

367
00:20:32,191 --> 00:20:34,492
It's not sanitary, but it'd
be a hell of a good time.

368
00:20:34,568 --> 00:20:35,612
That's debatable.

369
00:20:35,694 --> 00:20:36,868
Oh, boy.

370
00:20:36,945 --> 00:20:40,789
And here comes the biggest slut of 'em
all. Here comes Lisa.

371
00:20:41,533 --> 00:20:43,752
I don't know if you noticed on the plane.
We had a little moment.

372
00:20:43,827 --> 00:20:45,038
- Okay, I'll take them. Let me take them.
- Chris!

373
00:20:45,120 --> 00:20:47,006
- Give them back to me, Chris.
- You're not gonna look.

374
00:20:47,080 --> 00:20:48,280
Chris, they're...
I just wanna borrow 'em.

375
00:20:48,307 --> 00:20:48,827
No! Let me...

376
00:20:48,832 --> 00:20:50,043
Just for a...

377
00:20:53,253 --> 00:20:54,677
Hey, Chris.

378
00:20:55,964 --> 00:20:57,601
Hey, guys.

379
00:20:58,634 --> 00:21:00,021
What are you doing back there?

380
00:21:01,136 --> 00:21:02,524
I just saw a blue-crowned motmot.

381
00:21:02,596 --> 00:21:04,850
- Gonna take a closer look.
- A what?

382
00:21:04,932 --> 00:21:08,230
It's a bird. Rare one.
Really very, very cool stuff.

383
00:21:08,977 --> 00:21:11,397
Oh, hey, it looks like
we're heading out.

384
00:21:12,147 --> 00:21:14,651
Yeah. What a psycho.

385
00:21:46,890 --> 00:21:49,227
Don't push me, man. Don't
fucking push me. Don't push me.

386
00:21:58,402 --> 00:22:00,039
Well, I guess chivalry's dead!

387
00:22:00,112 --> 00:22:02,496
I thought we weren't speaking.
I can't carry your bag, then.

388
00:22:02,573 --> 00:22:04,774
- We are not speaking!
- Oh, then what are we doing now?

389
00:22:04,825 --> 00:22:06,664
Oh, what are we doing now?

390
00:22:06,743 --> 00:22:08,665
That's how I talk?
That's how I talk?

391
00:22:13,333 --> 00:22:16,548
My friends,
welcome to our new home.

392
00:22:16,628 --> 00:22:19,179
- Ah! It's beautiful.
- It's all right.

393
00:22:20,841 --> 00:22:23,142
This might not be so bad, huh?

394
00:22:26,388 --> 00:22:28,274
Look at this place!

395
00:22:31,768 --> 00:22:33,690
I'm holding the talking stick.

396
00:22:38,233 --> 00:22:39,407
Talking stick attack?

397
00:22:39,484 --> 00:22:40,872
I'm watching you, huh?

398
00:22:42,529 --> 00:22:45,827
Being here reminds
me of a famous story

399
00:22:45,908 --> 00:22:50,000
about some young boys
being stuck in an island.

400
00:22:50,078 --> 00:22:52,166
Before long, they turn into animals.

401
00:22:52,956 --> 00:22:57,263
And from there,
everything goes straight to hell.

402
00:22:57,336 --> 00:23:00,764
And do you know
which story I'm talking about?

403
00:23:00,839 --> 00:23:03,094
Right, right, right.

404
00:23:03,175 --> 00:23:04,349
<i>Pinocchio.</i>

405
00:23:04,426 --> 00:23:08,104
And the island was Pleasure Island.

406
00:23:09,014 --> 00:23:12,478
They spend all day
eating candy, playing pool.

407
00:23:12,559 --> 00:23:14,814
And they turn into donkeys.

408
00:23:15,395 --> 00:23:16,986
And then I don't remember.

409
00:23:17,064 --> 00:23:20,278
I haven't seen it for a long time.

410
00:23:20,359 --> 00:23:21,652
The whale was involved.

411
00:23:22,694 --> 00:23:26,574
Anyway, this will not
be happening here.

412
00:23:27,282 --> 00:23:30,212
The next two days,
you will be pushed to your limit!

413
00:23:31,453 --> 00:23:35,795
Are you ready
to look at the devil in the eyes?

414
00:23:37,543 --> 00:23:38,634
Good.

415
00:23:39,878 --> 00:23:41,468
Good night.

416
00:23:42,631 --> 00:23:44,138
I hold the stick.

417
00:23:44,216 --> 00:23:46,802
I hold the talking stick.

418
00:23:53,559 --> 00:23:59,407
We are going to let out the primal
scream to unleash the warrior inside us.

419
00:23:59,481 --> 00:24:01,237
Miss Brenda.

420
00:24:06,321 --> 00:24:07,709
Good.

421
00:24:09,449 --> 00:24:10,541
Not bad.

422
00:24:14,204 --> 00:24:15,378
You have issues.

423
00:24:15,455 --> 00:24:16,630
Chris.

424
00:24:21,503 --> 00:24:23,057
Hey, come here.

425
00:24:24,339 --> 00:24:25,632
I'm not really a screamer.

426
00:24:25,716 --> 00:24:30,022
Scream like I'm squeezing
into your balls.

427
00:24:31,513 --> 00:24:33,850
- You're laughing at me, boy?
- No.

428
00:24:37,269 --> 00:24:41,778
Scream like I am squeezing
into your balls!

429
00:24:46,236 --> 00:24:47,410
- Better?
Disappointing.

430
00:24:47,487 --> 00:24:48,531
Go!

431
00:24:48,614 --> 00:24:49,705
Next.

432
00:24:55,704 --> 00:25:00,260
My father used to make pancakes in the
morning, but I was not allowed to eat any!

433
00:25:00,334 --> 00:25:03,217
Why?

434
00:25:03,337 --> 00:25:08,141
Not every Asian kid needs to learn
how to play the violin, Mom!

435
00:25:08,217 --> 00:25:12,227
I wanted to learn how
to play baseball!

436
00:25:17,893 --> 00:25:19,732
Troy. Excellent.

437
00:25:20,562 --> 00:25:21,606
Excellent.

438
00:25:25,275 --> 00:25:29,286
You must trust your partner
to get you safely through the trees,

439
00:25:29,363 --> 00:25:33,325
and you must trust yourself
to guide your partner.

440
00:25:33,408 --> 00:25:35,912
Yeah, shouldn't one of us
not be blindfolded?

441
00:25:42,417 --> 00:25:45,098
- That's my hat, sir.
- It's my hat now.

442
00:25:45,170 --> 00:25:46,262
What?

443
00:25:46,338 --> 00:25:47,382
Go!

444
00:25:47,464 --> 00:25:49,967
Hold on. I can't see anything!

445
00:25:54,304 --> 00:25:55,515
Tree.

446
00:25:55,597 --> 00:25:57,982
- Troy, you're slowing us down!
- Sorry!

447
00:26:00,853 --> 00:26:04,316
- This is a lawsuit, man!
- Tell that to the tiger!

448
00:26:07,442 --> 00:26:08,653
Oh, my God!

449
00:26:08,944 --> 00:26:10,285
Oh, my God!

450
00:26:13,866 --> 00:26:16,286
Guys, you guys, you guys,
there's no tiger.

451
00:26:16,994 --> 00:26:21,004
Guys, there's no tiger!
There's no tiger. False alarm.

452
00:26:21,081 --> 00:26:22,374
It's BS.

453
00:26:22,457 --> 00:26:24,379
Stop freaking out...

454
00:26:24,459 --> 00:26:26,630
Oh, my God!
Did that lunatic set explosives?

455
00:26:28,213 --> 00:26:31,511
I'd say that's a yes. Move!
Move, man, move!

456
00:26:37,973 --> 00:26:40,108
Inside, outside, inside outside.

457
00:26:41,393 --> 00:26:42,485
Come on, people!

458
00:26:42,561 --> 00:26:45,029
It's not a game! It's a war!

459
00:26:49,443 --> 00:26:51,080
We have a winner.

460
00:27:43,330 --> 00:27:44,504
Oh!

461
00:27:44,581 --> 00:27:45,874
Oh. my God!

462
00:27:45,958 --> 00:27:48,841
I'm so sorry. I didn't see
you lying there like that.

463
00:27:48,919 --> 00:27:50,426
On the ground.

464
00:27:51,255 --> 00:27:53,509
Completely motionless.

465
00:27:55,551 --> 00:27:57,556
Quite possibly dead.

466
00:28:01,139 --> 00:28:04,354
- Chris, are you sure he's dead?
- Very dead. That much I'm sure.

467
00:28:04,434 --> 00:28:05,692
How the fuck are we
gonna get out of here?

468
00:28:05,769 --> 00:28:07,240
People, people, please.

469
00:28:07,312 --> 00:28:09,152
Let's don't lose our mind.

470
00:28:09,231 --> 00:28:11,817
How are we gonna get home, Storm?
Our pilot's dead.

471
00:28:12,401 --> 00:28:14,904
Worst come to worst,
I will fly you out of here.

472
00:28:14,987 --> 00:28:16,374
You know how to fly?

473
00:28:16,446 --> 00:28:17,574
Please.

474
00:28:17,656 --> 00:28:19,910
Storm, I swear to God
I saw a fricking tiger.

475
00:28:19,992 --> 00:28:21,083
- What?
- What?

476
00:28:21,159 --> 00:28:22,417
- Tiger.
- Yeah.

477
00:28:22,494 --> 00:28:23,538
I saw it, too.

478
00:28:23,620 --> 00:28:26,088
It was, like, 10 feet from Dale's
tent. It ran towards the cliff.

479
00:28:26,164 --> 00:28:27,671
Guys, guys, guys.

480
00:28:27,749 --> 00:28:30,679
- Storm...
- Don't let your imagination run wild.

481
00:28:31,420 --> 00:28:35,430
But just to make you feel better,
let's go to see that tiger.

482
00:28:36,800 --> 00:28:39,344
Why are we going to look at the tiger?
Let's go the other way.

483
00:28:39,386 --> 00:28:41,142
It makes zero sense.

484
00:28:48,770 --> 00:28:50,028
You see?

485
00:28:51,190 --> 00:28:52,827
There is no tiger.

486
00:28:53,775 --> 00:28:57,536
What are the chances of
a dangerous animal in this island?

487
00:28:58,488 --> 00:29:00,042
Zero. Okay?

488
00:29:02,409 --> 00:29:04,046
So just calm...

489
00:29:07,289 --> 00:29:09,590
Holy shit!

490
00:29:14,713 --> 00:29:15,887
Nobody move.

491
00:29:16,798 --> 00:29:19,563
- No, no, no, no.
- The beast is a gentle spirit.

492
00:29:21,512 --> 00:29:22,852
He's scared.

493
00:29:23,138 --> 00:29:25,938
Be not afraid,
my noble jungle brother.

494
00:29:26,850 --> 00:29:29,235
Your brother means no harm.

495
00:29:31,230 --> 00:29:32,273
Help!

496
00:29:32,356 --> 00:29:33,744
Quickly!

497
00:29:33,815 --> 00:29:36,200
Stick a finger into
the tiger's anus.

498
00:29:36,276 --> 00:29:39,206
- What?
- Stick your finger into the tiger's anus!

499
00:29:39,279 --> 00:29:41,907
Why in the hell would he want us to
put a finger in his asshole?

500
00:29:41,949 --> 00:29:43,705
It's how you subdue
an attacking dog!

501
00:29:44,701 --> 00:29:46,160
Troy, that's you.
Get in there and do that.

502
00:29:46,187 --> 00:29:47,022
No, I don't want to!

503
00:29:47,037 --> 00:29:48,793
- Troy, you have to!
- I don't wanna do it!

504
00:29:56,880 --> 00:29:58,221
It's okay, everyone.

505
00:29:58,757 --> 00:29:59,801
It's over.

506
00:30:01,760 --> 00:30:03,267
He won't come back.

507
00:30:05,305 --> 00:30:06,349
Whoa!

508
00:30:36,128 --> 00:30:37,220
First, the pilot dies.

509
00:30:37,296 --> 00:30:39,135
- Then the European dude dies.
- No one's looking for us.

510
00:30:39,214 --> 00:30:40,258
We're gonna die, then.

511
00:30:40,340 --> 00:30:42,511
We're stuck with no way off.

512
00:30:42,593 --> 00:30:44,432
- We're stuck with no way off.
- I know that!

513
00:30:44,511 --> 00:30:47,545
It's gonna be okay.
It's gonna be fine, hon.

514
00:30:48,432 --> 00:30:51,018
- You think so?
- Do I think so?

515
00:30:51,852 --> 00:30:54,071
Does Bugs Bunny like carrots?

516
00:30:54,396 --> 00:30:55,950
Yeah.

517
00:30:56,023 --> 00:30:59,736
He likes 'em a lot.
Likes 'em a lot.

518
00:31:00,152 --> 00:31:03,028
I think if you just
move past this fear...

519
00:31:03,055 --> 00:31:03,772
Right?

520
00:31:03,822 --> 00:31:05,708
- ...you can reach inside you.
- Yeah.

521
00:31:05,782 --> 00:31:07,170
Find what it takes
to get out of here.

522
00:31:07,242 --> 00:31:08,286
How's everybody doing?

523
00:31:08,368 --> 00:31:12,379
- Oh, we're great, Phil, thanks.
- Yeah. We're fine, Phil.

524
00:31:12,915 --> 00:31:15,169
Lisa, can I talk to you for
a second, in private?

525
00:31:16,752 --> 00:31:18,305
Just really need to talk.

526
00:31:18,378 --> 00:31:20,265
All right.

527
00:31:20,339 --> 00:31:24,182
- You gonna make it, hon?
- Oh, yeah. Thank you so much, Lisa.

528
00:31:24,259 --> 00:31:26,561
- What's up?
- Let's go over here.

529
00:31:27,513 --> 00:31:29,600
She's real fucked up, huh?

530
00:31:29,681 --> 00:31:31,105
Have a seat.

531
00:31:32,267 --> 00:31:34,154
What's going on, Phil?

532
00:31:35,187 --> 00:31:37,274
How are you holding up?

533
00:31:37,356 --> 00:31:39,491
Great.
Thanks for asking, Phil.

534
00:31:39,566 --> 00:31:41,073
Did you bring a bathing suit?

535
00:31:41,860 --> 00:31:42,952
Yeah.

536
00:31:43,028 --> 00:31:44,748
You go bikini, or...

537
00:31:44,821 --> 00:31:47,954
Doesn't matter. We're not gonna
swim leisurely right now.

538
00:31:48,033 --> 00:31:50,619
No. Yeah.
I mean, it's not a vacation.

539
00:31:51,662 --> 00:31:53,797
What do you need?

540
00:31:53,872 --> 00:31:57,218
Well, I was thinking, you know,

541
00:31:57,292 --> 00:32:01,801
every woman, no matter how
strong she thinks she is,

542
00:32:01,880 --> 00:32:03,683
she wants some comfort
from a man.

543
00:32:05,092 --> 00:32:08,271
And, Lisa, I thought I could
be that man for you.

544
00:32:09,304 --> 00:32:11,392
Because here's the thing.

545
00:32:12,808 --> 00:32:14,149
- Lisa...
- Mmm-hmm.

546
00:32:15,352 --> 00:32:16,396
I've fallen for you.

547
00:32:17,479 --> 00:32:18,867
- Okay.
- I've fallen real hard.

548
00:32:18,939 --> 00:32:20,362
Okay! Phil!

549
00:32:20,440 --> 00:32:22,659
You realise we're in a
crisis right now, right?

550
00:32:22,734 --> 00:32:27,409
Skeeze out on your own time, man. There's
something seriously wrong with you.

551
00:32:27,990 --> 00:32:30,624
You don't have to be
a bitch about it.

552
00:32:36,999 --> 00:32:40,511
No dice. It's busted. Old timer
probably wasn't even using it.

553
00:32:40,586 --> 00:32:42,840
- Damn it! Are you sure?
- Yeah.

554
00:32:42,921 --> 00:32:45,009
I used to do ham radio
on the weekends with my dad.

555
00:32:45,090 --> 00:32:47,178
It was like child abuse
without the touching.

556
00:32:47,259 --> 00:32:48,303
Oh, my God.

557
00:32:50,179 --> 00:32:52,563
I'm sure somebody's coming for us.

558
00:32:52,639 --> 00:32:56,352
Nobody knows where we are,
and there's a tiger killing people!

559
00:32:56,435 --> 00:32:58,191
And there could be more tigers!

560
00:32:58,270 --> 00:33:03,739
And who knows who they're gonna kill
next? It could be you, or you, or you!

561
00:33:03,817 --> 00:33:04,909
Any one of us!

562
00:33:04,985 --> 00:33:08,331
You guys, no one knows we're here!

563
00:33:08,405 --> 00:33:12,036
We are totally fucked!
We are fucked!

564
00:33:12,117 --> 00:33:15,083
He's right. He's right, you guys.
We're gonna die!

565
00:33:20,000 --> 00:33:21,803
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Calm down, you guys.

566
00:33:21,877 --> 00:33:23,799
Come on. Come on.
We gotta stay calm.

567
00:33:24,588 --> 00:33:28,301
But there is one person that can
keep us safe, and that's me.

568
00:33:28,759 --> 00:33:32,721
Now, as the highest ranking executive
from the Crawford Design Group,

569
00:33:32,804 --> 00:33:35,106
I am now officially in charge.

570
00:33:35,182 --> 00:33:38,528
So, if you all do exactly as I say...

571
00:33:38,602 --> 00:33:39,646
What happened?

572
00:33:39,728 --> 00:33:41,318
She got bit by a snake!

573
00:33:41,396 --> 00:33:43,781
- Go get my machete.
- Brenda, let me see.

574
00:33:43,857 --> 00:33:46,740
- Man, it hurts! It hurts!
- Okay. I know. Let me see. Ow!

575
00:33:47,611 --> 00:33:49,283
Okay, everybody, get back.
This isn't gonna be pretty.

576
00:33:49,363 --> 00:33:50,406
Do it, Troy, right at the knee.

577
00:33:50,489 --> 00:33:51,616
- What?
- No.

578
00:33:51,698 --> 00:33:53,538
- Me?
- Yes, you! Do it now!

579
00:33:54,826 --> 00:33:58,041
No! Hey! Hang on!
Nobody's cutting anyone's leg off.

580
00:33:58,121 --> 00:33:59,682
Listen, Brenda,
just take a deep breath,

581
00:33:59,748 --> 00:34:02,133
and describe to me
exactly what the snake looked like.

582
00:34:02,209 --> 00:34:05,507
It was big, and it had black
swirls and dots on it.

583
00:34:05,587 --> 00:34:07,639
You're wasting time.
The venom's spreading.

584
00:34:07,714 --> 00:34:08,925
Do it now!

585
00:34:09,007 --> 00:34:10,680
Hey! Wait, no, listen.

586
00:34:10,759 --> 00:34:12,978
She's describing a <i>Python regius.</i>
It's not poisonous.

587
00:34:13,053 --> 00:34:14,097
- Are you sure?
- Yeah.

588
00:34:14,179 --> 00:34:16,943
- I saw one of those on the way in here.
- Thank God.

589
00:34:17,015 --> 00:34:18,189
It really hurts!

590
00:34:18,267 --> 00:34:19,868
All right, well, then,
I'm gonna piss on it.

591
00:34:19,895 --> 00:34:21,176
It's the only way
to help the pain.

592
00:34:21,228 --> 00:34:24,989
Whoa, whoa, no. That's for a
jellyfish sting. Knock it off.

593
00:34:25,065 --> 00:34:26,951
I got Storm's first aid kit.

594
00:34:27,025 --> 00:34:30,323
- Okay. Okay, what have we got?
- It's all just Dave Matthews bootlegs.

595
00:34:30,404 --> 00:34:33,417
Okay, we're gonna improvise.

596
00:34:33,490 --> 00:34:34,748
I'm really happy to
piss on it, Brenda.

597
00:34:34,825 --> 00:34:36,664
No, Phil.

598
00:34:38,245 --> 00:34:39,668
Okay.

599
00:34:39,746 --> 00:34:40,921
What is that?

600
00:34:41,832 --> 00:34:44,217
It's woundwort. It should
help with the pain a bit.

601
00:34:44,293 --> 00:34:46,594
Yeah, that's gross, Chris.
And it's not gonna work.

602
00:34:46,670 --> 00:34:48,011
It's working. It feels better.

603
00:34:48,088 --> 00:34:51,552
Good. Good. It should prevent
any infection. You'll heal soon.

604
00:34:51,633 --> 00:34:54,563
- You wanna try and stand?
- Come on.

605
00:34:54,636 --> 00:34:55,810
Okay, I'm impressed.

606
00:34:55,888 --> 00:34:59,649
Okay. Okay. You're gonna be okay.

607
00:34:59,725 --> 00:35:00,852
Thank you.

608
00:35:00,934 --> 00:35:02,655
Did you learn that in the Scouts?

609
00:35:02,728 --> 00:35:04,021
You know, I picked
up a thing or two.

610
00:35:04,104 --> 00:35:06,572
Can you teach us
how to do that kind of stuff?

611
00:35:06,648 --> 00:35:09,366
Yeah. Yeah, sure. Okay.
But, listen, you guys,

612
00:35:09,443 --> 00:35:12,652
the first rule of survival is,
no matter what the situation,

613
00:35:12,679 --> 00:35:13,941
you cannot panic, okay?

614
00:35:13,989 --> 00:35:15,330
Maybe you should be in charge, then.

615
00:35:15,407 --> 00:35:17,412
Hey, wait a second.
Let's not go crazy.

616
00:35:17,492 --> 00:35:19,276
Yeah, I don't... We
don't have to have...

617
00:35:19,303 --> 00:35:19,939
No, no, no.

618
00:35:19,995 --> 00:35:22,759
Who here thinks Chris
should be in charge?

619
00:35:22,831 --> 00:35:25,399
Okay, who thinks Phil
should be in charge?

620
00:35:25,426 --> 00:35:26,321
Here we go.

621
00:35:26,376 --> 00:35:28,132
Chris, Chris...

622
00:35:28,212 --> 00:35:29,469
Chris. Chris.

623
00:35:29,546 --> 00:35:31,183
Chris. Chris. Chris.

624
00:35:31,256 --> 00:35:33,427
Okay. Okay. Okay. I...

625
00:35:33,509 --> 00:35:35,015
Chris. Chris. Chris.

626
00:35:35,093 --> 00:35:37,562
- Are you sure? Are you sure about this?
- Absolutely.

627
00:35:42,309 --> 00:35:45,406
All right. I got a few ideas.
Uh, yeah.

628
00:35:45,896 --> 00:35:47,403
Yeah, I think this could work.

629
00:36:17,302 --> 00:36:18,476
That's it. Keep feeding that fire.

630
00:36:18,554 --> 00:36:20,808
Gotta get a thick, black
smoke going for the signal.

631
00:36:20,889 --> 00:36:22,977
Yo, yo, Chris.
Can I talk to you for a second?

632
00:36:23,058 --> 00:36:24,565
Sure, Phil. What's up?

633
00:36:25,477 --> 00:36:28,111
Are you sure you're up for
this being in charge business?

634
00:36:29,231 --> 00:36:30,358
I think so. Why?

635
00:36:30,941 --> 00:36:32,827
You think so.

636
00:36:32,901 --> 00:36:35,701
Well, being a leader is tough.
You've seen me at the office.

637
00:36:35,779 --> 00:36:37,416
You know how that can get.

638
00:36:37,489 --> 00:36:39,790
Frankly, I'm not sure
you can handle it.

639
00:36:39,867 --> 00:36:41,954
What are you talking about?

640
00:36:42,244 --> 00:36:45,209
Come on, man.
Like it isn't totally obvious?

641
00:36:45,289 --> 00:36:50,010
Eventually, someone's gonna have to
decide which of us gets eaten first.

642
00:36:50,085 --> 00:36:51,177
What?

643
00:36:51,253 --> 00:36:53,009
Javier is the fattest.

644
00:36:53,422 --> 00:36:55,261
So he deserves to die.

645
00:36:55,340 --> 00:36:57,511
I'm sorry if that's not PC.

646
00:36:57,593 --> 00:37:00,096
Phil, we have enough nuts
stored up to feed an army.

647
00:37:00,179 --> 00:37:01,769
I don't like nuts!

648
00:37:02,973 --> 00:37:05,274
- And Javier would feed a lot of people.
- All right.

649
00:37:05,350 --> 00:37:07,511
Phil, can you knock it off, please?
Chris is in charge.

650
00:37:07,561 --> 00:37:09,151
We're all on board
with this, right?

651
00:37:09,229 --> 00:37:11,400
- Yes.
- Yeah, I think we're good, Phil.

652
00:37:12,191 --> 00:37:13,282
Fine.

653
00:37:14,484 --> 00:37:16,703
You wanna follow Pocahontas?

654
00:37:16,778 --> 00:37:18,332
Don't blame me.

655
00:37:19,364 --> 00:37:20,954
What's up, Javier?

656
00:37:21,033 --> 00:37:22,374
Hey.

657
00:37:22,451 --> 00:37:24,171
All right, people.

658
00:37:24,244 --> 00:37:26,925
Let's get back to work.
We've got a big day ahead of us.

659
00:37:47,684 --> 00:37:49,986
What happened to everybody?
They were all doing so well.

660
00:37:50,062 --> 00:37:52,363
I don't know. It's just like
at the office, you know?

661
00:37:52,439 --> 00:37:54,983
They're good to work for a little
while, then it's nappy time.

662
00:37:56,777 --> 00:37:58,248
- Javier?
- Javi?

663
00:37:58,320 --> 00:37:59,957
Hey, buddy.

664
00:38:00,030 --> 00:38:02,157
Weren't you supposed to
be on food gathering detail?

665
00:38:02,449 --> 00:38:05,628
Oh, go away. Sleepy.

666
00:38:07,329 --> 00:38:11,968
Okay, everybody. We really gotta
kick it into high gear. Ugh!

667
00:38:12,042 --> 00:38:13,928
Come on, guys!

668
00:38:14,002 --> 00:38:15,924
I don't know how many
times I have to say this.

669
00:38:16,004 --> 00:38:17,139
When you go number two,

670
00:38:17,166 --> 00:38:20,372
you've gotta go at least 50 yards
from the campsite, all right?

671
00:38:20,425 --> 00:38:23,059
I'm not trying to be a buzzkill,
but it's a major health hazard.

672
00:38:23,136 --> 00:38:26,150
Hey, man. Nobody's on food detail,
and whoever's on tiger watch took off.

673
00:38:26,223 --> 00:38:27,808
You gotta step up and
take charge, man.

674
00:38:27,850 --> 00:38:29,273
These people are just gonna
keep slap-dicking around.

675
00:38:29,351 --> 00:38:30,822
Okay. Okay, Jared.
I'm on it.

676
00:38:30,894 --> 00:38:32,187
- All right, buddy. Let's go.
- Okay.

677
00:38:32,271 --> 00:38:35,319
Hey, everybody!
Look over here.

678
00:38:36,692 --> 00:38:40,120
Thought you'd all want something
to eat besides nuts.

679
00:38:40,195 --> 00:38:42,580
- Behold!
- We bring meat!

680
00:38:45,158 --> 00:38:46,250
Ugh!

681
00:38:46,326 --> 00:38:48,047
I killed it with my own bare hands.

682
00:38:48,120 --> 00:38:49,508
- Isn't that right, Troy?
- Yes!

683
00:38:49,580 --> 00:38:50,671
Meat!

684
00:38:50,747 --> 00:38:52,966
That looks like it's been
dead at least two weeks.

685
00:38:53,041 --> 00:38:54,429
And that's not all.

686
00:38:57,004 --> 00:39:00,551
Oh, no. Is that coffee?

687
00:39:00,632 --> 00:39:03,017
- You bet your fat ass it is.
- Hey!

688
00:39:03,093 --> 00:39:06,640
I found the plants just over that ridge.
There's enough for all of us.

689
00:39:06,722 --> 00:39:08,941
Oh, God. Tastes so good.

690
00:39:09,016 --> 00:39:11,863
Okay, okay, you guys.
I don't know about the coffee yet,

691
00:39:11,935 --> 00:39:15,317
but I can tell you for sure that
that meat is not safe to consume.

692
00:39:15,397 --> 00:39:17,782
I'm afraid that's not
your decision, Chris.

693
00:39:17,858 --> 00:39:21,452
And I invite all of you to
share in my bounty.

694
00:39:23,488 --> 00:39:25,707
- Oh, God. That looks so delicious.
- I wouldn't do it. I strongly...

695
00:39:25,782 --> 00:39:26,957
Luther. Hey, Dale. Don't.
The meat's no good.

696
00:39:27,034 --> 00:39:29,620
- Ashley.
- I advise against this.

697
00:39:31,914 --> 00:39:32,957
Yeah!

698
00:39:33,749 --> 00:39:39,348
He put up a real fight, but I snuck
up behind him and snapped his neck.

699
00:39:41,256 --> 00:39:42,893
It's the least I could do.

700
00:39:42,966 --> 00:39:45,185
- We're a family now.
- Yeah. We are.

701
00:39:45,260 --> 00:39:46,553
Right, man.

702
00:39:55,938 --> 00:39:59,070
- Try it.
- No, thanks. I'm good. Thank you.

703
00:39:59,149 --> 00:40:02,135
Look, I understand
that we're not at the

704
00:40:02,163 --> 00:40:05,439
office and everyone's
under a lot of stress.

705
00:40:05,489 --> 00:40:07,893
But I just feel that
some of the language

706
00:40:07,920 --> 00:40:10,439
that I've been hearing
tossed around lately

707
00:40:10,494 --> 00:40:12,380
is offensive to some people.

708
00:40:13,121 --> 00:40:14,961
I've heard MFer.

709
00:40:15,040 --> 00:40:17,092
I've heard CSer.

710
00:40:17,167 --> 00:40:21,889
I've heard A-hole,
BJ, F this F-ing S.

711
00:40:21,964 --> 00:40:24,099
Check out that B's T's.

712
00:40:24,174 --> 00:40:28,018
Slip it in her C-hole.
F it in the fudge shop.

713
00:40:28,095 --> 00:40:31,891
S on that donkey D,
you dirty F-ing S-bag,

714
00:40:31,974 --> 00:40:35,900
then L up that V-juice
and spit it in my A.

715
00:40:35,978 --> 00:40:40,450
Then H it till it's sore
with your S-covered P-pounder.

716
00:40:40,524 --> 00:40:42,031
Also I've heard...

717
00:40:42,109 --> 00:40:43,948
Who gives a shit?

718
00:40:44,027 --> 00:40:46,079
Hey, it's Brenda's turn to speak.
She can say whatever she wants.

719
00:40:46,154 --> 00:40:48,919
You know the rules.
I have the talking stick.

720
00:40:51,159 --> 00:40:53,165
Screw the rules!

721
00:40:53,245 --> 00:40:54,716
Phil, enough.

722
00:40:55,163 --> 00:40:57,584
Yeah, Brenda.
Screw your rules!

723
00:40:57,666 --> 00:41:00,003
I'm holding the talking stick.

724
00:41:00,085 --> 00:41:04,557
Stick means nothing!

725
00:41:05,132 --> 00:41:06,935
Come on. Sit down.

726
00:41:08,844 --> 00:41:09,888
No.

727
00:41:10,762 --> 00:41:12,150
I won't sit down.

728
00:41:12,848 --> 00:41:18,696
Because I am so sick of your rules!

729
00:41:19,354 --> 00:41:20,695
So's everybody else.

730
00:41:20,772 --> 00:41:24,071
Come on, Dale. Stand up.
Come on, you guys.

731
00:41:24,151 --> 00:41:26,535
Why should we listen to you?

732
00:41:26,612 --> 00:41:28,617
- Everybody knows...
- Stand up.

733
00:41:28,697 --> 00:41:30,536
I should be leader.

734
00:41:31,617 --> 00:41:34,547
This isn't helping, Phil. Okay?
Come on. We're all in this together.

735
00:41:35,871 --> 00:41:39,964
You just wanna be able to
tell everybody what to do.

736
00:41:40,042 --> 00:41:42,628
"Watch the signal fire.

737
00:41:42,711 --> 00:41:44,182
"Let's ration the food!

738
00:41:45,506 --> 00:41:47,974
"Don't shit in other people's tents"?

739
00:41:48,050 --> 00:41:49,473
- That's obvious.
- Yeah.

740
00:41:49,551 --> 00:41:52,185
- I'll shit where I want.
- Damn right, Troy.

741
00:41:52,262 --> 00:41:54,014
Look at Chris, everyone.

742
00:41:55,599 --> 00:41:59,822
How can he protect you
from the dangers of the jungle

743
00:41:59,895 --> 00:42:02,612
when he won't even
stand up to me now?

744
00:42:02,689 --> 00:42:04,113
Will you?

745
00:42:04,650 --> 00:42:06,037
Huh?

746
00:42:06,318 --> 00:42:08,038
Will you, Chris?

747
00:42:08,111 --> 00:42:10,745
In front of all these people?

748
00:42:10,822 --> 00:42:12,210
You gonna stand up to me?

749
00:42:12,282 --> 00:42:15,746
- You never have before.
- Phil, I'm not gonna fight you.

750
00:42:15,827 --> 00:42:17,915
Order! The stick!

751
00:42:18,038 --> 00:42:20,398
No, he's not gonna do anything
in front of all these people.

752
00:42:20,415 --> 00:42:21,887
What is wrong with you? Stop!

753
00:42:21,959 --> 00:42:23,465
Come on, guys. Order.

754
00:42:23,544 --> 00:42:24,635
He's not a leader.

755
00:42:24,711 --> 00:42:26,004
He's a follower.

756
00:42:26,088 --> 00:42:27,476
So get out of my way!

757
00:42:27,548 --> 00:42:28,805
Come on, Phil.

758
00:42:31,134 --> 00:42:34,267
Who would deny me,
the one who has brought you meat?

759
00:42:34,346 --> 00:42:35,983
Order!

760
00:42:36,056 --> 00:42:37,693
Order!

761
00:42:38,559 --> 00:42:39,899
Chaos!

762
00:43:13,552 --> 00:43:15,937
Troy put this in the coffee.

763
00:43:18,390 --> 00:43:20,229
This is Jimsonweed.

764
00:43:20,309 --> 00:43:21,946
It's hallucinogenic.

765
00:43:22,853 --> 00:43:24,609
Oh, this is bad.

766
00:44:42,724 --> 00:44:44,776
That was some party.

767
00:44:44,852 --> 00:44:46,607
I gotta say, Troy,
I've never seen your penis before.

768
00:44:46,687 --> 00:44:48,359
- You've got a nice one.
- Thanks.

769
00:44:48,438 --> 00:44:50,325
The signal fire's out.

770
00:44:50,649 --> 00:44:51,693
So?

771
00:44:52,568 --> 00:44:54,240
That's our only chance
of getting off this island.

772
00:44:54,319 --> 00:44:57,249
What if a boat or a plane came by?
We can't be stupid right now.

773
00:44:58,574 --> 00:45:02,085
Chris, I would watch your
tone with me. I'm the chief.

774
00:45:02,160 --> 00:45:04,204
Yeah, I'm sure
you're gonna make some great chief,

775
00:45:04,246 --> 00:45:06,686
just eating, laying around all day,
having orgies every night.

776
00:45:06,707 --> 00:45:07,798
Hey, that's not fair.

777
00:45:07,875 --> 00:45:09,262
No? Well, what are you
gonna do tonight?

778
00:45:09,334 --> 00:45:11,636
I don't know. Probably
have another orgy.

779
00:45:11,712 --> 00:45:12,803
Okay. This is ridiculous.

780
00:45:12,880 --> 00:45:16,226
You guys, we are never gonna
get off the island like this, okay?

781
00:45:16,300 --> 00:45:17,972
We're behaving like children.

782
00:45:18,051 --> 00:45:20,021
Hey!

783
00:45:20,095 --> 00:45:23,477
You don't like the way we do things,
go start your own tribe, then.

784
00:45:25,267 --> 00:45:26,359
Fine.

785
00:45:26,435 --> 00:45:28,855
Fine, Phil, I will. I'm gonna hike
to the other side of the island.

786
00:45:28,937 --> 00:45:30,195
See what's over there.
You know what?

787
00:45:30,272 --> 00:45:32,131
Anyone who wants to
get serious about

788
00:45:32,158 --> 00:45:34,260
getting off this island,
you come with me.

789
00:45:34,318 --> 00:45:35,409
And the rest of you,

790
00:45:35,485 --> 00:45:41,002
you can just keep eating and drinking,
just having unprotected sex all the time.

791
00:45:41,074 --> 00:45:42,166
Okay.

792
00:45:42,242 --> 00:45:45,790
I don't think he gave the greatest pitch
in the world, but I'm with him.

793
00:45:45,871 --> 00:45:46,963
Thank you, brother.

794
00:45:47,039 --> 00:45:49,562
I'm also with Chris,
but I am not with Jared.

795
00:45:49,589 --> 00:45:50,411
Okay, okay.

796
00:45:50,459 --> 00:45:51,503
This is crazy.

797
00:45:51,585 --> 00:45:53,321
I think the only chance
we have of getting

798
00:45:53,348 --> 00:45:55,123
off this island is if
we all work together.

799
00:45:55,172 --> 00:45:58,387
Sol really think that maybe if we try
just a little active listening...

800
00:45:58,467 --> 00:46:00,519
Active listening?

801
00:46:01,094 --> 00:46:02,138
Lisa?

802
00:46:02,221 --> 00:46:04,107
Enough of your witchcraft!

803
00:46:05,307 --> 00:46:08,404
Phil, you are battling
some serious mental issues right now.

804
00:46:08,477 --> 00:46:11,989
Lisa, I think you're battling
some serious cock-teasing issues.

805
00:46:12,064 --> 00:46:13,617
- Ooh!
- That is harassment.

806
00:46:13,690 --> 00:46:15,909
I am reporting you as soon as
we get back to the office.

807
00:46:15,984 --> 00:46:17,242
- Okay.
- Go, then.

808
00:46:17,319 --> 00:46:21,281
All of you. Who needs you?
In fact, I command you to leave!

809
00:46:21,365 --> 00:46:22,788
Fine, Phil. Whatever.

810
00:46:22,866 --> 00:46:24,587
Good luck running things around here.
You're gonna need it.

811
00:46:24,660 --> 00:46:26,581
Be gone forever!

812
00:46:26,995 --> 00:46:30,590
And don't let me catch you
back on my side of the island!

813
00:46:31,166 --> 00:46:34,879
Unless you two girls wanna get
fucked, then hustle on back.

814
00:46:35,504 --> 00:46:36,845
All right, Troy.

815
00:46:36,922 --> 00:46:40,469
Hit me up with that fan, buddy.
Getting kind of hot.

816
00:47:12,165 --> 00:47:14,420
Orion's belt is
really bright tonight.

817
00:47:14,501 --> 00:47:16,102
What are you,
Daniel Boone, or something?

818
00:47:16,128 --> 00:47:17,220
No.

819
00:47:17,296 --> 00:47:19,467
I mean, no. You can navigate
the jungle, and...

820
00:47:19,548 --> 00:47:20,592
Yeah.

821
00:47:20,674 --> 00:47:24,268
And start this fire
by knocking two rocks together.

822
00:47:24,344 --> 00:47:26,480
You can identify
natural hallucinogens.

823
00:47:26,555 --> 00:47:30,067
Well, don't forget about my ability

824
00:47:30,142 --> 00:47:31,483
to make campfire cobbler.

825
00:47:32,769 --> 00:47:33,813
I love cobbler.

826
00:47:33,896 --> 00:47:35,283
I know. I know.

827
00:47:35,355 --> 00:47:37,360
I just picked a few berries

828
00:47:37,441 --> 00:47:41,071
and had some crackers,
threw in a little sugar, and voila.

829
00:47:41,153 --> 00:47:43,834
I know how you like sweets,
so, I just...

830
00:47:43,906 --> 00:47:45,911
You pay attention.

831
00:47:45,991 --> 00:47:47,414
I like that.

832
00:47:52,456 --> 00:47:54,591
- How is it? Is it too tart?
- Mmm!

833
00:47:57,461 --> 00:47:59,513
This is the best thing
I've eaten in days.

834
00:47:59,588 --> 00:48:00,632
Oh, good!

835
00:48:00,714 --> 00:48:03,187
My God! I am so
impressed, Silver Beaver.

836
00:48:03,214 --> 00:48:04,038
Thank you.

837
00:48:04,176 --> 00:48:08,056
I feel like I should give you

838
00:48:08,138 --> 00:48:10,274
a merit badge,
or something like that.

839
00:48:10,349 --> 00:48:13,446
Oh, that'd be nice. It'd look good
next to my hang gliding one.

840
00:48:14,102 --> 00:48:17,780
You have a merit
badge for hang gliding?

841
00:48:17,856 --> 00:48:21,736
It's tandem. I mean, I was tandem.
I was strapped to my scoutmaster.

842
00:48:21,860 --> 00:48:23,201
But, yeah.

843
00:48:23,445 --> 00:48:24,738
I do.

844
00:48:26,031 --> 00:48:28,535
I have never seen this side of you.

845
00:48:28,617 --> 00:48:30,254
How does someone
who's so adventurous

846
00:48:30,327 --> 00:48:33,709
end up designing toilet paper
packaging for a living?

847
00:48:36,208 --> 00:48:37,501
Yeah.

848
00:48:38,210 --> 00:48:40,547
Well, the truth is I...

849
00:48:40,629 --> 00:48:44,770
I always imagined my life being
a lot more interesting than it is.

850
00:48:44,842 --> 00:48:48,804
I went to work straight after school
like some trained robot.

851
00:48:50,013 --> 00:48:52,315
I just I feel like I
never even really lived.

852
00:48:52,891 --> 00:48:55,228
I feel the exact same way.

853
00:48:58,772 --> 00:49:02,485
I probably should've done something
about it a long time ago.

854
00:49:03,151 --> 00:49:06,414
It sounds like you need
to be a little bit more assertive.

855
00:49:07,030 --> 00:49:10,044
Assertiveness. Yes.

856
00:49:11,743 --> 00:49:14,840
I could see how that'd
be a good quality.

857
00:49:15,455 --> 00:49:17,342
I gotta take a shit.

858
00:49:17,416 --> 00:49:19,337
Hey, Brenda. Hey.

859
00:49:19,418 --> 00:49:21,387
What happened
to your clean language crusade?

860
00:49:21,503 --> 00:49:24,433
- I decided to fuck that to hell.
- Hmm.

861
00:49:24,506 --> 00:49:26,891
I don't have to poop,
I don't have a BM.

862
00:49:26,967 --> 00:49:31,309
What I have here is a shit. There
is no other word to describe this.

863
00:49:31,805 --> 00:49:33,442
And I've had it since
I got here, too.

864
00:49:33,515 --> 00:49:37,822
I've had to take a shit. But I thought
I could wait till I got home.

865
00:49:38,228 --> 00:49:40,150
- Can't hold it any more.
- Mmm-mmm.

866
00:49:40,272 --> 00:49:42,775
I am infected with shit right now.

867
00:49:43,442 --> 00:49:44,486
Yeah. Okay.

868
00:49:44,568 --> 00:49:46,739
I mean, I've never shat
in the woods before.

869
00:49:46,904 --> 00:49:48,031
Now's the time.

870
00:49:48,113 --> 00:49:51,162
Really? You don't think
anything is gonna bite my pussy?

871
00:49:51,325 --> 00:49:52,915
Nothing's gonna bite your pussy.

872
00:49:53,952 --> 00:49:56,882
Maybe I'll just hold it.
Hang out with you guys.

873
00:49:56,955 --> 00:49:58,960
No. You don't wanna
get attached to that.

874
00:49:59,041 --> 00:50:01,260
You wanna just cut your ties.

875
00:50:01,335 --> 00:50:03,304
Yep! You're right.

876
00:50:03,378 --> 00:50:06,261
I gotta go unleash
this shit in the wild.

877
00:50:06,632 --> 00:50:07,675
- Okay.
- Okay.

878
00:50:07,758 --> 00:50:10,937
That's good.
Just make it 50 yards, Bren.

879
00:50:12,346 --> 00:50:14,185
She's a sweet girl.

880
00:50:14,264 --> 00:50:15,818
I should probably go to bed.

881
00:50:16,850 --> 00:50:18,902
- Yeah, I guess. It might be time.
- Yeah.

882
00:50:19,228 --> 00:50:20,865
Yeah, big day tomorrow.

883
00:50:20,938 --> 00:50:22,195
We have lift-off!

884
00:50:23,023 --> 00:50:24,411
Jesus. Go further!

885
00:50:24,483 --> 00:50:25,954
Suck your mom's dick!

886
00:50:26,151 --> 00:50:27,658
They're great.

887
00:50:28,737 --> 00:50:30,707
They're a great couple.

888
00:50:31,615 --> 00:50:33,287
Anyways...

889
00:50:33,367 --> 00:50:35,170
- Okay, good night.
- Good night.

890
00:50:36,995 --> 00:50:39,166
That wasn't her poo scream.

891
00:50:39,581 --> 00:50:41,171
- Brenda?
- Come on.

892
00:50:43,669 --> 00:50:46,468
- Look who it is.
- Oh, my God.

893
00:50:47,381 --> 00:50:49,516
- Are you okay?
- So-so.

894
00:50:49,967 --> 00:50:52,435
But thank you for asking.

895
00:50:52,886 --> 00:50:54,357
- Hey.
- What was that for?

896
00:50:54,429 --> 00:50:56,600
Just for getting us stranded
on the island. That's all.

897
00:50:56,682 --> 00:50:58,023
That's fair. That's fair.

898
00:50:58,100 --> 00:50:59,144
- Just one more.
- No, no, no.

899
00:50:59,226 --> 00:51:00,270
- Come on, guys.
- Okay.

900
00:51:00,352 --> 00:51:03,200
No more slapping.
You know?

901
00:51:03,272 --> 00:51:06,237
I'm badly wounded
by the tiger attack.

902
00:51:07,109 --> 00:51:08,236
I say we leave him.

903
00:51:08,318 --> 00:51:11,036
Yeah, why don't you let me
take a look at that?

904
00:51:11,196 --> 00:51:13,082
The beast got me good.

905
00:51:13,240 --> 00:51:15,292
Oh, geez.
That's already infected.

906
00:51:15,659 --> 00:51:18,542
Don't worry.
I've had worse.

907
00:51:18,620 --> 00:51:20,092
I survived three wars.

908
00:51:20,163 --> 00:51:21,255
Which three wars?

909
00:51:23,458 --> 00:51:25,795
Desert Storm, Desert Rain.

910
00:51:26,837 --> 00:51:28,924
Then Iraq, Baghdad, somewhere.

911
00:51:29,673 --> 00:51:31,342
You were never in the
military, were you?

912
00:51:33,302 --> 00:51:35,805
Let's kill him. Yeah?
Kill him?

913
00:51:36,138 --> 00:51:38,225
No. Sorry.

914
00:51:39,099 --> 00:51:40,310
I should never lie to you.

915
00:51:41,310 --> 00:51:42,900
I never meant any harm.

916
00:51:44,104 --> 00:51:47,948
All I wanted to be
is a military man.

917
00:51:49,109 --> 00:51:51,031
Ever since I was a little boy,

918
00:51:51,862 --> 00:51:54,448
running in the fields of Nebraska.

919
00:51:54,531 --> 00:51:56,916
Man, this is just getting pathetic.

920
00:51:56,992 --> 00:51:59,542
I don't even know how to read.

921
00:51:59,786 --> 00:52:01,788
Come on. What does that
have to do with anything?

922
00:52:01,872 --> 00:52:03,295
It's to make you feel bad.

923
00:52:03,916 --> 00:52:04,959
Okay.

924
00:52:05,042 --> 00:52:07,925
Okay. Keep this pressed
hard against that.

925
00:52:08,212 --> 00:52:10,133
We gotta get this fixed up.

926
00:52:10,214 --> 00:52:11,886
Thank you, brothers.

927
00:52:11,965 --> 00:52:13,805
Hey, listen, guys.

928
00:52:13,884 --> 00:52:16,434
I found something in the jungle.

929
00:52:17,095 --> 00:52:19,101
Something you should see.

930
00:52:25,771 --> 00:52:28,535
That's where I've
been hiding in shame.

931
00:52:39,785 --> 00:52:41,505
What is this place?

932
00:52:41,828 --> 00:52:44,332
It looks like some
kind of bomb shelter.

933
00:52:44,414 --> 00:52:45,838
It's cosy.

934
00:52:45,916 --> 00:52:48,550
It's been very lonely
here by myself.

935
00:52:48,627 --> 00:52:51,510
But now, you can stay with me.

936
00:52:51,588 --> 00:52:52,762
Okay. All right.

937
00:52:52,840 --> 00:52:55,520
It will be like a sleepover.

938
00:52:56,593 --> 00:52:58,230
- I found a flare gun.
- Nice.

939
00:52:58,637 --> 00:52:59,848
Is this a radio?

940
00:52:59,930 --> 00:53:02,564
- Jared, check it out.
- I'm on it. Okay.

941
00:53:03,851 --> 00:53:06,484
Hey, guys. We can stay up all night.

942
00:53:07,020 --> 00:53:09,108
We can tell scary stories.

943
00:53:09,189 --> 00:53:11,740
And we can play Truth or Dare.

944
00:53:11,817 --> 00:53:13,952
Chris, you first.

945
00:53:15,070 --> 00:53:16,577
Dare me to do something.

946
00:53:17,114 --> 00:53:19,913
Uh... I guess I would
dare you to be quiet, Storm.

947
00:53:19,992 --> 00:53:22,119
You lost a lot of blood.
Let me take a look at that.

948
00:53:25,664 --> 00:53:26,957
What you gonna do?

949
00:53:27,040 --> 00:53:28,927
- Be still.
- Needles!

950
00:53:29,459 --> 00:53:32,177
No needles!
I hate needles.

951
00:53:32,588 --> 00:53:34,588
- Get away from me!
- Do you wanna die of gangrene?

952
00:53:34,631 --> 00:53:35,758
I don't want needles!

953
00:53:35,841 --> 00:53:37,561
All right. All right. All right.
No needles.

954
00:53:37,926 --> 00:53:39,137
No needles. Come on.

955
00:53:39,219 --> 00:53:43,016
What if I pet your ears?
Would that make you feel better?

956
00:53:43,140 --> 00:53:44,860
Okay, Brenda.

957
00:53:44,933 --> 00:53:46,060
There you go.

958
00:53:46,143 --> 00:53:48,314
No needle.
No needle, Storm.

959
00:53:48,395 --> 00:53:49,980
- Thank you, Chris.
- You're doing good.

960
00:53:50,022 --> 00:53:52,109
You've got some floppy ears.

961
00:53:52,191 --> 00:53:54,278
- Can I finish cleaning it, though? Okay.
- Yes.

962
00:53:54,568 --> 00:53:55,991
- No, you're doing...
- It hurts!

963
00:53:56,069 --> 00:53:58,454
You're doing very good.
You're doing very good.

964
00:53:59,156 --> 00:54:00,248
He's a good bunny, right?

965
00:54:00,324 --> 00:54:01,581
He's a great bunny.

966
00:54:01,658 --> 00:54:03,628
- Okay, okay, okay.
- He's a feisty bunny.

967
00:54:03,702 --> 00:54:05,838
- It hurt, man!
- All right. Try and relax.

968
00:54:05,913 --> 00:54:07,034
- Okay.
- Just try and relax.

969
00:54:07,039 --> 00:54:09,423
You think you can get
this thing to work?

970
00:54:09,499 --> 00:54:11,090
Short answer: no.

971
00:54:11,168 --> 00:54:13,387
Not a needle.
Not a needle.

972
00:54:13,462 --> 00:54:15,716
Circuitry's fried,
but the transceiver's good.

973
00:54:15,797 --> 00:54:17,517
But the one in the plane,
transceiver's out,

974
00:54:17,530 --> 00:54:19,200
but the circuitry there
looked all right.

975
00:54:19,593 --> 00:54:20,850
We don't speak geek.

976
00:54:20,928 --> 00:54:24,024
Listen, darling,
what I'm trying to say is

977
00:54:24,097 --> 00:54:25,984
if we get that radio
out of the plane,

978
00:54:26,058 --> 00:54:28,060
there's a decent chance
I could rig something up.

979
00:54:28,101 --> 00:54:29,861
What about him?
We can't just leave him here.

980
00:54:29,937 --> 00:54:30,980
I'm okay.

981
00:54:31,939 --> 00:54:33,529
I'll be fine.

982
00:54:36,401 --> 00:54:38,453
We'll work something out.

983
00:54:44,743 --> 00:54:47,211
Stop. Park me here.

984
00:54:56,380 --> 00:54:57,721
What do you see?

985
00:55:00,133 --> 00:55:02,851
I am not quite sure.

986
00:55:02,928 --> 00:55:04,648
Dude, let me see.

987
00:55:08,559 --> 00:55:10,729
They've all gone shit-dick crazy.

988
00:55:10,811 --> 00:55:13,528
Yes, I saw Phil forcing them to eat

989
00:55:13,605 --> 00:55:16,619
that Jimsonweed all day.

990
00:55:16,692 --> 00:55:20,868
I tried a little bit of it myself, but
I was tripping balls for six hours.

991
00:55:20,946 --> 00:55:21,990
Couldn't feel my face.

992
00:55:22,739 --> 00:55:24,293
What is that?

993
00:55:24,908 --> 00:55:26,498
Let me see those.

994
00:55:28,996 --> 00:55:31,676
Oh, Phil has had a
statue of himself made.

995
00:55:35,002 --> 00:55:36,343
Oh!

996
00:55:37,129 --> 00:55:38,932
Solid craftsmanship.

997
00:55:41,550 --> 00:55:44,398
And they're worshipping
him like a God.

998
00:55:45,429 --> 00:55:48,110
I guess reasoning with him
isn't gonna be an option.

999
00:55:48,182 --> 00:55:50,732
Maybe we should just
take the radio.

1000
00:55:50,809 --> 00:55:53,490
I mean, the plane's at least
200 yards from Phil's camp.

1001
00:55:53,562 --> 00:55:55,234
He might not notice.

1002
00:55:55,856 --> 00:55:58,075
No such luck. They got guards
stationed at the plane.

1003
00:55:58,150 --> 00:55:59,787
- That crazy fucker!
- God.

1004
00:55:59,860 --> 00:56:01,283
It's like he doesn't
even wanna go home.

1005
00:56:01,361 --> 00:56:05,454
Hey, guys, if we want to steal
that radio from that plane,

1006
00:56:06,325 --> 00:56:08,579
we'll have to use our
heads and our brains.

1007
00:56:09,661 --> 00:56:12,165
It's the same fucking thing, Storm.

1008
00:56:12,331 --> 00:56:15,178
I think I'll go talk to him alone.
I can still reason with him.

1009
00:56:15,250 --> 00:56:17,552
- Are you sure, Chris?
- Yeah.

1010
00:56:22,549 --> 00:56:23,593
Hey.

1011
00:56:25,469 --> 00:56:27,474
Just be careful, okay?

1012
00:56:28,639 --> 00:56:30,062
I will.

1013
00:56:32,100 --> 00:56:33,691
Aw!

1014
00:56:37,856 --> 00:56:39,114
What?

1015
00:56:52,871 --> 00:56:57,261
Keep in pile. You, separate sticks.
Big sticks, little sticks.

1016
00:57:03,674 --> 00:57:04,848
Oh!

1017
00:57:04,925 --> 00:57:06,136
Deserter returns.

1018
00:57:07,386 --> 00:57:08,643
Halt, Outsider.

1019
00:57:08,971 --> 00:57:10,014
You're a trespasser here.

1020
00:57:10,097 --> 00:57:12,861
Hey, Dale. What's up?
Look, I just wanna talk.

1021
00:57:13,767 --> 00:57:16,068
Hi. Hi. How are you?

1022
00:57:16,144 --> 00:57:17,236
What is your purpose here?

1023
00:57:17,646 --> 00:57:20,031
Wow. You guys have really gotten
serious around here, huh?

1024
00:57:20,107 --> 00:57:22,824
Gone is the time of mirth and joy.
Those days ended

1025
00:57:22,901 --> 00:57:26,080
when the great winged beast of iron and
steel brought us here from the sky.

1026
00:57:26,405 --> 00:57:29,285
Are you talking about the plane, Dale?
Come on. You know what a plane is.

1027
00:57:29,324 --> 00:57:31,211
Look, I just need to talk to Phil.
Do you know where he is?

1028
00:57:31,285 --> 00:57:32,875
Who is this "Phil" you speak of?

1029
00:57:33,120 --> 00:57:34,710
He speaks of the Lawgiver.

1030
00:57:34,830 --> 00:57:36,040
Okay.

1031
00:57:36,123 --> 00:57:37,333
- Oh, Orco.
- Orco.

1032
00:57:37,416 --> 00:57:38,507
- Orco?
- Oh, yeah.

1033
00:57:38,584 --> 00:57:39,627
<i>Oy.</i>

1034
00:57:39,710 --> 00:57:41,797
No one demands to see the Lawgiver.

1035
00:57:41,879 --> 00:57:42,922
Let's slit his throat.

1036
00:57:43,046 --> 00:57:45,680
Whoa, come on. Come on, Dale.
Calm down, you guys.

1037
00:57:45,757 --> 00:57:46,801
Hey. Hey. All right.

1038
00:57:48,051 --> 00:57:49,807
- Come on. Let's not. Let's not.
- Wait.

1039
00:57:51,054 --> 00:57:54,020
Well, Outsider,
it seems you get your wish.

1040
00:57:54,099 --> 00:57:55,772
The Lawgiver will see you.

1041
00:57:55,851 --> 00:57:57,025
Okay.

1042
00:58:29,343 --> 00:58:31,146
Did you come here to kill me?

1043
00:58:31,929 --> 00:58:34,728
Come on, Phil. This is stupid.
Just knock it off.

1044
00:58:34,932 --> 00:58:37,897
I would watch your tongue
if I were you, Outsider.

1045
00:58:37,976 --> 00:58:39,317
Okay. Noted.

1046
00:58:39,728 --> 00:58:41,816
Look, Phil, we found a bunker.

1047
00:58:42,022 --> 00:58:43,445
Phil?

1048
00:58:44,316 --> 00:58:47,033
Phil. I don't know this word.

1049
00:58:47,361 --> 00:58:49,164
Right, no, I'm sorry.

1050
00:58:49,530 --> 00:58:50,573
Orco.

1051
00:58:50,781 --> 00:58:53,284
Yes. Orco.

1052
00:58:54,493 --> 00:58:57,542
Do you know how I chose
the name Orco for myself?

1053
00:58:57,621 --> 00:59:01,963
It's the name of an ancient Babylonian
God, the god of wrath and destruction.

1054
00:59:02,042 --> 00:59:05,885
I think it was also the name of that
floaty little wizard guy in He-Man.

1055
00:59:05,963 --> 00:59:07,469
- Heresy!
- Calm.

1056
00:59:08,841 --> 00:59:10,051
Calm, my pet.

1057
00:59:12,052 --> 00:59:13,096
I spell mine with a C.

1058
00:59:13,762 --> 00:59:14,806
So it's different.

1059
00:59:14,888 --> 00:59:16,229
Yeah, it's different.

1060
00:59:16,682 --> 00:59:18,070
Yes.

1061
00:59:18,350 --> 00:59:20,402
Time for my morning juice.

1062
00:59:30,237 --> 00:59:32,408
Very bitter. That's gross!

1063
00:59:32,489 --> 00:59:33,996
To the Pit of Shame with you!

1064
00:59:36,493 --> 00:59:37,537
You shame yourself!

1065
00:59:40,372 --> 00:59:42,342
Come, let's take a walk.

1066
00:59:47,004 --> 00:59:49,507
This is where my minions toil
to harvest the beans

1067
00:59:49,590 --> 00:59:51,974
from which we make the sacred brew.

1068
00:59:52,968 --> 00:59:54,439
Pick faster. Faster.

1069
00:59:55,637 --> 00:59:58,983
Well, it's nice to see that you
didn't eat Javier at least.

1070
00:59:59,057 --> 01:00:01,822
I actually tried a couple of his fingers,
but it was gross.

1071
01:00:01,894 --> 01:00:02,985
Really gamy.

1072
01:00:03,061 --> 01:00:05,197
Keep the berries separate.

1073
01:00:06,064 --> 01:00:08,629
Do you see the power
that I have over them?

1074
01:00:09,526 --> 01:00:11,033
I do, yeah.

1075
01:00:11,945 --> 01:00:14,247
I'm willing to give
you a taste of it.

1076
01:00:14,323 --> 01:00:16,909
I'm offering you a job
as my second in command.

1077
01:00:16,992 --> 01:00:18,249
Why?

1078
01:00:18,327 --> 01:00:22,040
Because I could use someone
with your know-how

1079
01:00:22,122 --> 01:00:26,631
for the day-to-day running-the-camp
stuff, basically all the boring shit.

1080
01:00:28,212 --> 01:00:30,548
Gee, Orco,
I'm really flattered, but...

1081
01:00:30,631 --> 01:00:32,303
Did I mention the perks?

1082
01:00:32,382 --> 01:00:36,179
Power, glory,
any woman you want.

1083
01:00:37,012 --> 01:00:39,012
Well, none of the super hot ones.
Those are for me.

1084
01:00:39,014 --> 01:00:41,979
But, you know, any of the older,
chubbier ones. Barbara from accounting.

1085
01:00:42,059 --> 01:00:43,649
Oh, she's a big girl.

1086
01:00:43,727 --> 01:00:45,779
Yeah, I don't want Barbara
from accounting, or...

1087
01:00:45,854 --> 01:00:48,702
You haven't even gotten to know her.
She's a sweet lady.

1088
01:00:48,774 --> 01:00:51,657
Listen, we found
another radio, okay?

1089
01:00:51,735 --> 01:00:55,114
Jared thinks he can get it working if we
can get a part from the one on the plane.

1090
01:00:57,533 --> 01:00:58,743
I don't know, bro.

1091
01:00:58,825 --> 01:01:01,459
I kind of got a pretty good deal
going on here, you know?

1092
01:01:01,537 --> 01:01:05,962
Out there I'm just a senior VP,
but here I'm a god.

1093
01:01:06,041 --> 01:01:07,085
Orco.

1094
01:01:07,167 --> 01:01:09,007
Yeah, but think about this.

1095
01:01:09,086 --> 01:01:12,550
You give us that part. We get out
of here. You're a hero.

1096
01:01:12,756 --> 01:01:15,390
Not just here on the island,
but out there in the real world.

1097
01:01:15,509 --> 01:01:17,312
Everybody's gonna know your name.

1098
01:01:17,803 --> 01:01:19,060
Hmm...

1099
01:01:19,721 --> 01:01:21,477
- interesting.
- Yeah.

1100
01:01:21,557 --> 01:01:24,356
That you would try to sweet talk me
into giving up my empire.

1101
01:01:24,434 --> 01:01:26,356
LOL, friend. Guards!

1102
01:01:27,187 --> 01:01:30,533
Phil. Phil, please.
We're never gonna get off this island.

1103
01:01:30,607 --> 01:01:31,651
No, we won't.

1104
01:01:31,984 --> 01:01:33,740
If you come back here
again, Outsider,

1105
01:01:33,819 --> 01:01:36,500
we will cut off your dick
and make a soup out of it.

1106
01:01:36,572 --> 01:01:37,959
Cream of Chris!

1107
01:01:39,741 --> 01:01:42,506
- Let's go play some hacky sack.
- Got it.

1108
01:01:43,036 --> 01:01:46,999
Poor little bunny.
You almost got eaten by a tiger.

1109
01:01:47,374 --> 01:01:49,296
I wish I could give you a carrot.

1110
01:01:49,918 --> 01:01:51,805
- That would be nice.
- Yeah.

1111
01:01:51,879 --> 01:01:54,678
Storm, I think your wound is
getting worse. It kind of stinks.

1112
01:01:54,923 --> 01:01:56,513
Is that what that is?

1113
01:01:56,592 --> 01:01:57,719
It smells nasty.

1114
01:01:57,843 --> 01:02:00,975
I also didn't take a bath
for a while, okay?

1115
01:02:04,933 --> 01:02:05,977
Tell me you got it.

1116
01:02:06,310 --> 01:02:07,401
I'd be lying.

1117
01:02:07,477 --> 01:02:08,569
Seriously, dude?

1118
01:02:08,645 --> 01:02:10,900
Yeah. I asked.
He said no.

1119
01:02:11,690 --> 01:02:13,446
You asked?

1120
01:02:13,525 --> 01:02:17,915
He asked. I'm so fucking glad you asked.
Did you say please, at least, Chris?

1121
01:02:17,988 --> 01:02:19,162
- Jared.
- Yes.

1122
01:02:19,239 --> 01:02:24,245
No. I'm tired. I'm cranky.
I'm out of weed, and I wanna go home!

1123
01:02:24,328 --> 01:02:27,414
What do you want me to do, Jared?
You want me to challenge Phil to a fight?

1124
01:02:27,497 --> 01:02:29,253
No, Chris.

1125
01:02:29,333 --> 01:02:31,636
I want you to continue
being the world's

1126
01:02:31,663 --> 01:02:34,247
biggest pussy until we
all die of starvation.

1127
01:02:34,296 --> 01:02:38,092
Oh! Come on! You're the pussy.
You're the pussy!

1128
01:02:38,175 --> 01:02:39,812
- You're a pussy.
- You're the pussy!

1129
01:02:39,885 --> 01:02:42,104
Guys! This is not getting
us anywhere, okay?

1130
01:02:42,179 --> 01:02:45,607
Brenda, who is the bigger
female reproductive organ?

1131
01:02:45,891 --> 01:02:48,608
I think you're both vaginas.

1132
01:02:48,727 --> 01:02:50,854
You know what?
I would've been better off with Phil.

1133
01:02:51,605 --> 01:02:53,859
Wow.
Why don't you go join him then?

1134
01:02:53,941 --> 01:02:56,658
Yeah. At least he's doing drugs
and having orgies.

1135
01:02:56,735 --> 01:02:58,613
Instead I'm gonna die
in here with you clowns.

1136
01:02:58,654 --> 01:03:00,493
Oh! Screw this!

1137
01:03:00,739 --> 01:03:01,866
<i>Adiós!</i>

1138
01:03:09,373 --> 01:03:11,294
- Hey

1139
01:03:12,292 --> 01:03:14,760
- You okay?
- I don't know.

1140
01:03:14,837 --> 01:03:17,933
You think Jared's right
about me being the...

1141
01:03:18,757 --> 01:03:20,228
The world's biggest pussy?

1142
01:03:21,301 --> 01:03:22,938
Yeah. That's the one.

1143
01:03:25,931 --> 01:03:27,224
No.

1144
01:03:28,267 --> 01:03:30,770
You're not a pussy.
You're just...

1145
01:03:31,436 --> 01:03:33,572
- Nice?
- Yeah. You're really nice.

1146
01:03:33,647 --> 01:03:36,660
Yeah. I know.
I think that's part of the problem.

1147
01:03:37,401 --> 01:03:39,572
My whole life,
I'm such a nice guy.

1148
01:03:39,653 --> 01:03:43,533
"It's Chris. He's so nice.
Look at Chris, he's nice."

1149
01:03:43,740 --> 01:03:45,580
Which is all well and good,
you know?

1150
01:03:45,659 --> 01:03:48,829
Except that nobody ever gives you any
of the credit you deserve for anything.

1151
01:03:49,037 --> 01:03:52,419
Or will actually even consider publishing
your really good fantasy novel,

1152
01:03:52,499 --> 01:03:55,180
even though it's clearly
better than 90%

1153
01:03:55,252 --> 01:03:57,933
of the Sword and Shadows
derivative crap that's out there.

1154
01:03:58,088 --> 01:04:01,057
And it's like these
out-of-touch publishers

1155
01:04:01,084 --> 01:04:03,916
are calling it fetish
porn, and it's not.

1156
01:04:04,219 --> 01:04:07,767
Okay, yes, there's one
very tastefully done,

1157
01:04:07,848 --> 01:04:10,945
very understated love scene
between a dark elf and a centaur.

1158
01:04:11,059 --> 01:04:13,444
And that is integral to the plot.
You know?

1159
01:04:15,063 --> 01:04:16,237
You need it...

1160
01:04:16,315 --> 01:04:18,270
Okay, Chris, I think
maybe you're drifting

1161
01:04:18,297 --> 01:04:19,888
away from the point
here a little.

1162
01:04:21,111 --> 01:04:25,536
The point is that you
just keep taking it

1163
01:04:25,616 --> 01:04:29,079
because you're too nice to stand
up and do anything about it.

1164
01:04:29,620 --> 01:04:33,546
Yeah.
You're nice. You are.

1165
01:04:34,833 --> 01:04:37,474
That's what I like about you.
That's what everyone likes about you.

1166
01:04:37,503 --> 01:04:39,342
I wouldn't want you to change that.

1167
01:04:39,671 --> 01:04:41,059
But there's a time to be nice.

1168
01:04:41,131 --> 01:04:45,853
And then there's also a time when you
have to say, "Enough is enough."

1169
01:04:45,928 --> 01:04:48,976
And stick your foot
so far up a prick like Phil's ass

1170
01:04:49,056 --> 01:04:52,105
that he chokes on your
fucking shoelaces.

1171
01:04:52,184 --> 01:04:54,604
And I think now is
one of those times.

1172
01:04:58,941 --> 01:05:00,328
I do, too.

1173
01:05:03,195 --> 01:05:05,615
- How did you...
- Listen, Chris.

1174
01:05:06,532 --> 01:05:10,458
There's a time to play nice.
And there's also come a time

1175
01:05:10,536 --> 01:05:13,004
when you have to say,
"Enough is enough."

1176
01:05:14,081 --> 01:05:18,043
And stick your foot so far
up a prick like Phil's ass

1177
01:05:18,126 --> 01:05:23,050
that he chokes on your own
fucking shoelaces.

1178
01:05:24,424 --> 01:05:27,687
That is literally exactly
what I just said.

1179
01:05:27,886 --> 01:05:31,268
No. I just tweaked it a little bit.

1180
01:05:32,766 --> 01:05:35,186
No. Word for word.

1181
01:05:35,435 --> 01:05:38,283
I had my own little spin, okay?

1182
01:05:40,190 --> 01:05:41,827
How long have you been there?

1183
01:05:42,484 --> 01:05:43,907
For awhile.

1184
01:05:46,947 --> 01:05:47,991
This is our plan.

1185
01:05:48,073 --> 01:05:50,790
We are stealing that goddamn radio.

1186
01:05:50,868 --> 01:05:52,920
And I drew the little guys there.

1187
01:06:37,289 --> 01:06:40,137
Shit. Sorry, Deb.
Some woman.

1188
01:06:40,209 --> 01:06:41,881
Sorry, guys. Sorry.

1189
01:06:53,639 --> 01:06:55,140
Ow! Damn it!
What the hell you doing?

1190
01:06:56,642 --> 01:06:58,481
Son of a bitch?
What are you doing?

1191
01:06:58,977 --> 01:07:00,484
Use a bigger rock!

1192
01:07:01,104 --> 01:07:02,944
Ow!

1193
01:07:04,191 --> 01:07:05,283
Yeah.

1194
01:07:08,570 --> 01:07:12,164
Good night, sweet prince.
You had a good run.

1195
01:07:15,202 --> 01:07:17,966
Okay, great. Get the radio,
and we'll stand guard.

1196
01:07:19,414 --> 01:07:21,174
Well, obviously, you know,
quick as possible.

1197
01:07:21,250 --> 01:07:22,793
- Speed is of the essence.
- Copy that.

1198
01:07:22,835 --> 01:07:23,878
How'd it go?

1199
01:07:23,961 --> 01:07:25,004
- We got him.
- Great job.

1200
01:07:25,087 --> 01:07:26,807
- This is invigorating.
- Yeah.

1201
01:07:31,635 --> 01:07:32,976
Do not fuck this up.

1202
01:07:33,262 --> 01:07:36,192
- Thanks, Brenda. That helps a lot.
- You're welcome.

1203
01:07:50,696 --> 01:07:52,783
- What does that mean?
- I don't know that call.

1204
01:07:52,865 --> 01:07:55,325
- Did you discuss that with him?
- He didn't teach it to us.

1205
01:07:55,659 --> 01:07:58,376
We're gonna hold.
We're gonna hold.

1206
01:08:04,334 --> 01:08:06,802
Hey, Jared.
I'm not trying to be a pest, man.

1207
01:08:06,879 --> 01:08:09,382
- What's the ETA?
- You wanna do this?

1208
01:08:09,882 --> 01:08:11,269
Okay. I understand.

1209
01:08:11,341 --> 01:08:12,848
- Actually, he's working.
- Yeah.

1210
01:08:12,926 --> 01:08:14,511
Let the man work.
You know what I mean?

1211
01:08:18,432 --> 01:08:19,773
Screw faster!

1212
01:08:19,850 --> 01:08:21,010
Yeah, I've heard that before.

1213
01:08:21,059 --> 01:08:23,065
Yeah. You fell asleep
between thrusts.

1214
01:08:23,145 --> 01:08:25,613
Oh, my God. That's why you
ruined our trip to Reno.

1215
01:08:25,689 --> 01:08:26,733
There it is. Right there.

1216
01:08:26,815 --> 01:08:29,035
I wasn't sure if it was
sex time or nap time.

1217
01:08:40,746 --> 01:08:41,873
What was that?

1218
01:08:41,955 --> 01:08:43,379
I think it was a conch.

1219
01:08:43,457 --> 01:08:44,009
Screw faster!

1220
01:08:44,037 --> 01:08:46,117
I'm trying to! Can you
please be supportive?

1221
01:08:46,168 --> 01:08:47,260
Come on!

1222
01:08:47,336 --> 01:08:49,672
- Guys!
- Guys! Another time.

1223
01:08:50,130 --> 01:08:51,720
- They're, like, always fighting.
- I know.

1224
01:08:51,798 --> 01:08:54,516
And it's, like,
sometimes I feel like...

1225
01:08:54,593 --> 01:08:55,637
Look!

1226
01:08:57,638 --> 01:09:00,141
Jared, get the radio!
Rip it out!

1227
01:09:02,684 --> 01:09:04,524
- Okay. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go.
- All right, ready?

1228
01:09:04,645 --> 01:09:06,531
I think they've got spears.

1229
01:09:06,605 --> 01:09:09,149
They're not gonna throw 'em.
That's for show. That's for show.

1230
01:09:10,150 --> 01:09:14,077
By the power of Orco, keep my
hand steady and make my aim true.

1231
01:09:14,154 --> 01:09:15,910
Yeah, yeah, Brett.
Just throw it.

1232
01:09:17,908 --> 01:09:19,545
Holy shit!
They're throwing spears!

1233
01:09:22,246 --> 01:09:23,503
Time to go!

1234
01:09:33,382 --> 01:09:34,805
Hey, guys!

1235
01:09:48,522 --> 01:09:50,112
Where's Storm?

1236
01:09:50,190 --> 01:09:51,234
I thought you had him.

1237
01:09:51,316 --> 01:09:53,701
I thought you had him!
You were the wheelbarrow guy.

1238
01:09:53,777 --> 01:09:54,821
Oops!

1239
01:09:54,903 --> 01:09:55,947
Oh, Jared!

1240
01:09:56,029 --> 01:09:57,309
Okay, I'm gonna go look for him.

1241
01:09:57,364 --> 01:09:59,120
Stay here and get to work
and get that radio going.

1242
01:09:59,199 --> 01:10:00,326
Wait. You're going back out there?

1243
01:10:00,409 --> 01:10:03,090
Yeah. I'll be right back.
Shut the door behind me.

1244
01:10:04,580 --> 01:10:06,217
Oh. my God!

1245
01:10:17,384 --> 01:10:18,558
Storm!

1246
01:10:20,095 --> 01:10:21,602
Mr Rothchild!

1247
01:10:22,890 --> 01:10:23,933
Storm!

1248
01:10:29,146 --> 01:10:30,190
Is it working?

1249
01:10:30,564 --> 01:10:31,245
It's hard to say.

1250
01:10:31,260 --> 01:10:33,971
If 1 did it right, then we're
emitting a constant distress signal.

1251
01:10:33,984 --> 01:10:36,821
But the only way to be sure is to
actually make contact with someone.

1252
01:10:53,670 --> 01:10:55,011
Get off me, Dale.

1253
01:10:55,088 --> 01:10:57,473
Bitch got a flare gun.

1254
01:10:57,549 --> 01:11:01,262
Outsider! Outsider!

1255
01:11:01,970 --> 01:11:04,853
I have your friends now.
You're all alone!

1256
01:11:05,265 --> 01:11:07,401
- As for the girl...
- Ah!

1257
01:11:07,893 --> 01:11:11,950
that'd be a shame to pluck this
fruit and not have a little taste.

1258
01:11:13,023 --> 01:11:15,194
Talk about having her fruit, man.

1259
01:11:15,275 --> 01:11:17,494
Sexy fruit.

1260
01:11:17,569 --> 01:11:19,372
Her vagina berries.

1261
01:11:19,988 --> 01:11:22,492
I'm gonna have sex
with your girlfriend in her vagina.

1262
01:11:22,574 --> 01:11:23,618
You think he got that?

1263
01:11:23,700 --> 01:11:25,702
- Yeah, I think he got it.
- All right, let's go.

1264
01:11:26,203 --> 01:11:27,710
Ah! Ow!

1265
01:11:38,090 --> 01:11:39,300
Bring forth the prisoners.

1266
01:11:39,466 --> 01:11:41,139
Bring forth the prisoners!

1267
01:12:41,028 --> 01:12:42,867
It's okay. It's okay.

1268
01:12:45,782 --> 01:12:50,208
You've all been found guilty of the
high crimes of heresy and thievery.

1269
01:12:50,287 --> 01:12:51,331
Kill.

1270
01:12:51,413 --> 01:12:54,177
Kill! Kill! Kill!

1271
01:12:54,374 --> 01:12:56,545
They're kidding, right?

1272
01:12:56,835 --> 01:12:59,303
Kill! Kill! Kill!

1273
01:12:59,671 --> 01:13:02,637
- Kill! Kill! Kill!
- Uh...

1274
01:13:02,716 --> 01:13:03,760
Guys?

1275
01:13:03,842 --> 01:13:05,396
Holy shit.

1276
01:13:05,469 --> 01:13:06,940
Kill! Kill! Kill!

1277
01:13:07,012 --> 01:13:09,812
The punishment for these crimes
is death by execution.

1278
01:13:12,851 --> 01:13:14,737
Oh, my God. That's it. I'm go...

1279
01:13:16,063 --> 01:13:17,949
Except for the fair Lisa...

1280
01:13:19,983 --> 01:13:22,617
You will live and be my bride.

1281
01:13:24,071 --> 01:13:26,574
Oh, come on.
Can't you just kill me, too?

1282
01:13:28,742 --> 01:13:29,786
You don't mean that.

1283
01:13:29,868 --> 01:13:33,380
I really mean it, Phil.
Just do it.

1284
01:13:34,331 --> 01:13:35,968
- Here she comes.
- Oh, yeah.

1285
01:13:36,917 --> 01:13:38,340
Good call. Good call.

1286
01:13:39,294 --> 01:13:40,682
Mmm!

1287
01:13:41,213 --> 01:13:42,850
What is that smell?

1288
01:13:44,258 --> 01:13:46,559
It's pussy.

1289
01:13:47,010 --> 01:13:49,015
You, who are called Jared,

1290
01:13:49,346 --> 01:13:50,557
come forward.

1291
01:13:54,142 --> 01:13:55,530
Step forward, Jared!

1292
01:13:59,189 --> 01:14:00,233
Dale.

1293
01:14:01,817 --> 01:14:04,616
All right. It's funny, Phil.
I get it. It's not cool.

1294
01:14:04,695 --> 01:14:06,664
You have anything to
say before you die?

1295
01:14:08,156 --> 01:14:09,497
You're a real asshole, Phil.

1296
01:14:09,867 --> 01:14:11,872
- What?
- Be that as it may...

1297
01:14:13,620 --> 01:14:15,542
- Still, you shall die.
- Yes!

1298
01:14:18,083 --> 01:14:19,637
He's just kidding.

1299
01:14:19,710 --> 01:14:21,762
Phil. No.
Come on, I'll do anything.

1300
01:14:21,920 --> 01:14:23,344
Dale.

1301
01:14:23,422 --> 01:14:26,186
Phil, I'm begging you, brother.
Please don't.

1302
01:14:26,258 --> 01:14:27,302
We'll be your slaves.

1303
01:14:27,384 --> 01:14:29,606
Yeah, we get it, whatever
you fucking want.

1304
01:14:29,633 --> 01:14:31,551
Don't have Dale cut
my head off, man.

1305
01:14:31,763 --> 01:14:32,855
You don't wanna do this.

1306
01:14:32,931 --> 01:14:34,403
Phil. Please, man.

1307
01:14:43,275 --> 01:14:46,205
This isn't you, man.
Things just got weird.

1308
01:14:53,368 --> 01:14:54,661
Sorry, dude.

1309
01:14:55,162 --> 01:14:58,092
I was just gonna put you in a cage,
or whip you with bamboo or something.

1310
01:14:58,165 --> 01:14:59,339
But, well...

1311
01:15:02,461 --> 01:15:03,802
It's what they want.

1312
01:15:04,254 --> 01:15:05,465
Please.

1313
01:15:14,973 --> 01:15:16,231
I love you, Brenda.

1314
01:15:16,391 --> 01:15:17,483
You do?

1315
01:15:17,559 --> 01:15:18,686
I'm sorry.

1316
01:15:18,769 --> 01:15:23,075
Kill! Kill! Kill!
Kill! Kill! Kill!

1317
01:15:24,858 --> 01:15:26,199
Make it quick, Dale.

1318
01:15:26,276 --> 01:15:29,658
Kill! Kill!
Kill! Kill! Kill! Kill!

1319
01:15:29,947 --> 01:15:31,418
Do it, Dale.

1320
01:15:50,926 --> 01:15:53,180
Wait!

1321
01:15:58,892 --> 01:16:00,778
Lower your blade!

1322
01:16:04,314 --> 01:16:08,537
So, you've returned just in time
to watch your friends die.

1323
01:16:08,610 --> 01:16:09,868
Perhaps you'll join them.

1324
01:16:10,112 --> 01:16:12,793
I don't think so, Orco.

1325
01:16:12,865 --> 01:16:16,578
I have returned to claim
my rightful place

1326
01:16:16,660 --> 01:16:18,879
as the true god of this tribe!

1327
01:16:20,914 --> 01:16:23,678
You? A god?

1328
01:16:24,042 --> 01:16:25,170
That's right.

1329
01:16:25,252 --> 01:16:28,633
And I command my subjects
to sever their allegiance

1330
01:16:28,714 --> 01:16:34,729
to the false Lord Orco and
bow before my mighty loins,

1331
01:16:35,137 --> 01:16:38,020
lest they should feel my wrath.

1332
01:16:38,891 --> 01:16:40,018
Tell me.

1333
01:16:40,100 --> 01:16:43,612
Can the impostor Orco fly
as the birds of the sky do?

1334
01:16:46,106 --> 01:16:47,280
Just a minute.

1335
01:16:59,203 --> 01:17:00,709
Almost there.

1336
01:17:33,529 --> 01:17:35,082
That was amazing.

1337
01:17:36,782 --> 01:17:38,253
1 mean, 1...

1338
01:17:39,826 --> 01:17:41,250
That was unreal.

1339
01:17:41,662 --> 01:17:43,916
Or, can the impostor conjure fire

1340
01:17:44,748 --> 01:17:46,338
from stone?

1341
01:18:00,180 --> 01:18:01,853
Oh! Oh!

1342
01:18:05,477 --> 01:18:06,521
Magic tricks.

1343
01:18:06,603 --> 01:18:08,359
These are tricks! Don't be fooled!

1344
01:18:08,480 --> 01:18:11,862
Really? I'm not sure the tribe
is quite so convinced.

1345
01:18:12,317 --> 01:18:16,244
So either prove to me your divinity
by fighting and killing me,

1346
01:18:16,321 --> 01:18:19,204
or you will reveal
yourself to be a liar,

1347
01:18:19,366 --> 01:18:22,249
a coward,
and an all-around piece of shit.

1348
01:18:23,871 --> 01:18:26,588
Fine! I accept your challenge!

1349
01:18:26,707 --> 01:18:27,834
Good.

1350
01:18:27,916 --> 01:18:31,594
We will resolve this once and for all
with a fight to the death.

1351
01:18:31,670 --> 01:18:33,307
To the Pit of Destiny.

1352
01:18:37,593 --> 01:18:39,977
Where's the Pit of Destiny?

1353
01:18:40,053 --> 01:18:42,687
Let's just clear out
the Pit of Shame.

1354
01:18:43,891 --> 01:18:45,278
Yeah.

1355
01:18:52,774 --> 01:18:55,360
Come on! Yeah! Yeah!

1356
01:18:56,528 --> 01:18:59,743
I guess we both always knew
it'd come to this. Right, Chris?

1357
01:18:59,823 --> 01:19:01,793
I honestly never saw this coming.

1358
01:19:05,537 --> 01:19:08,420
This is pretty fucked up.
I will say that.

1359
01:19:08,624 --> 01:19:10,843
Not your typical day at the
office, huh, boy?

1360
01:19:12,961 --> 01:19:14,764
Chris, I do wanna apologise.

1361
01:19:14,963 --> 01:19:17,218
I'm sorry I took things this far.

1362
01:19:17,549 --> 01:19:18,641
This is fucked up.

1363
01:19:18,926 --> 01:19:21,097
- Really?
- Yeah. I'm sorry.

1364
01:19:21,803 --> 01:19:23,394
Well, we don't have to do this.

1365
01:19:28,018 --> 01:19:29,525
Chris, get up!

1366
01:19:33,649 --> 01:19:35,535
This is really pretty gay.

1367
01:19:39,530 --> 01:19:41,451
Yeah, it's fucking sick, man.

1368
01:19:41,532 --> 01:19:43,334
It's gay. It's gross.

1369
01:19:53,085 --> 01:19:54,473
Troy!

1370
01:19:54,545 --> 01:19:55,968
Troy, my spear.

1371
01:19:57,923 --> 01:19:59,346
That's unfair, Troy!

1372
01:19:59,716 --> 01:20:01,188
You asshole!

1373
01:20:01,385 --> 01:20:02,938
Come on, Phil!

1374
01:20:12,437 --> 01:20:13,529
Chris!

1375
01:20:13,605 --> 01:20:17,117
Is that a nut sack between your legs,
or did your dick step in gum?

1376
01:20:30,414 --> 01:20:31,624
Come on! Get up, Chris!

1377
01:20:33,083 --> 01:20:34,424
Yeah! Come on!

1378
01:20:34,835 --> 01:20:36,970
Chris! Kick his ass!

1379
01:20:38,922 --> 01:20:40,180
No!

1380
01:20:40,382 --> 01:20:42,055
Wait, wait, wait, wait. Okay.

1381
01:20:42,551 --> 01:20:45,268
Okay, me and you will be co-gods.

1382
01:20:45,345 --> 01:20:46,733
Sixty/forty.

1383
01:21:00,485 --> 01:21:02,288
Give me those hands.

1384
01:21:02,988 --> 01:21:04,032
My warriors!

1385
01:21:04,364 --> 01:21:06,452
What are you waiting for? Attack!

1386
01:21:07,451 --> 01:21:10,630
Honestly, Phil,
I'm not really into this any more.

1387
01:21:17,711 --> 01:21:19,301
Stay there!

1388
01:21:38,524 --> 01:21:40,659
Okay. Okay, you can get up.

1389
01:21:41,360 --> 01:21:43,531
Okay, come on. Stop it.
I'm not a god.

1390
01:21:43,612 --> 01:21:45,415
There's no god here.

1391
01:21:45,822 --> 01:21:48,124
Or, I mean, you can believe
whatever you wanna believe.

1392
01:21:48,200 --> 01:21:53,005
God, He can be all around. I don't know.
But I am not a god and Phil is not a god.

1393
01:21:53,080 --> 01:21:54,337
But I am in charge now.

1394
01:21:54,998 --> 01:21:57,169
And from now on, things are
gonna be different. Okay?

1395
01:21:57,709 --> 01:22:00,046
Dale, Javier, I need you
to get to the beach,

1396
01:22:00,128 --> 01:22:02,928
get to work on getting that
signal fire going. Let's go.

1397
01:22:03,006 --> 01:22:04,679
Ashley, untie them.

1398
01:22:05,008 --> 01:22:06,301
Please!

1399
01:22:08,178 --> 01:22:09,222
Brett?

1400
01:22:09,346 --> 01:22:11,431
I can see your boner. I don't know.
It's your call.

1401
01:22:11,640 --> 01:22:13,941
Okay, guys. I'm going to
get you the help you need.

1402
01:22:14,017 --> 01:22:16,402
We need to start a massive
detox programme.

1403
01:22:16,687 --> 01:22:18,774
I'm gonna get this Jimsonweed
out of your system.

1404
01:22:18,856 --> 01:22:20,649
You'll be feeling as
good as new in no time.

1405
01:22:20,691 --> 01:22:21,734
And then we're gonna get home.

1406
01:22:21,817 --> 01:22:23,240
- So really...
- Ship! Ship!

1407
01:22:23,652 --> 01:22:26,701
There's a ship offshore.
I saw it from the bluff.

1408
01:22:26,780 --> 01:22:27,872
He said there's a ship.

1409
01:22:27,948 --> 01:22:29,328
They must've gotten
our distress signal.

1410
01:22:29,356 --> 01:22:29,877
Oh, my God.

1411
01:22:29,908 --> 01:22:31,498
Yeah, but they might not know
exactly where we are.

1412
01:22:31,577 --> 01:22:34,045
- Where's that flare gun?
- I got it.

1413
01:22:38,417 --> 01:22:40,089
Watch out!

1414
01:22:40,919 --> 01:22:42,924
Ungrateful little bitch!

1415
01:22:43,422 --> 01:22:46,139
I should've slit your throat
a long time ago.

1416
01:22:46,383 --> 01:22:50,310
I'm a god here! And I'm not gonna
let you fuck that up for me.

1417
01:23:29,092 --> 01:23:31,429
Okay. Storm, we got it.
Thank you.

1418
01:23:33,263 --> 01:23:34,307
Good lungs.

1419
01:23:35,307 --> 01:23:36,648
Nice work, Storm.

1420
01:23:36,767 --> 01:23:38,487
I got your back, my brother.

1421
01:23:40,521 --> 01:23:41,944
It doesn't matter anyway.

1422
01:23:42,940 --> 01:23:46,451
They'll never see your white flare
against the bright blue sky.

1423
01:23:46,527 --> 01:23:48,366
You should know that, Boy Scout.

1424
01:23:49,071 --> 01:23:51,621
It's Eagle Scout, asshole.

1425
01:23:54,785 --> 01:23:57,715
No! My statue!

1426
01:23:58,872 --> 01:24:00,379
My statue!

1427
01:24:04,336 --> 01:24:06,306
Let's get to the beach!

1428
01:24:08,966 --> 01:24:10,722
I gotcha, big guy.

1429
01:24:13,846 --> 01:24:16,479
Hey!

1430
01:24:18,308 --> 01:24:21,986
- Over here!
- Hey! Over here!

1431
01:24:23,146 --> 01:24:24,857
Right here!

1432
01:24:43,750 --> 01:24:45,921
Oh, Buddy.
I am so proud of you.

1433
01:24:46,003 --> 01:24:47,842
- I'm proud of you.
- Oh!

1434
01:24:47,921 --> 01:24:49,132
You're the best, dude.

1435
01:24:49,214 --> 01:24:52,643
Jared. I love you again.

1436
01:24:52,718 --> 01:24:54,355
Oh, thank God.

1437
01:24:57,389 --> 01:24:59,940
You did it, Chris. You save us.

1438
01:25:00,976 --> 01:25:03,147
Yes. Or so it would seem.

1439
01:25:03,687 --> 01:25:05,858
That's right, all my friends.

1440
01:25:06,064 --> 01:25:10,205
My death, tiger attack,
was all a test.

1441
01:25:10,652 --> 01:25:12,539
And you all passed
with flying colour.

1442
01:25:13,071 --> 01:25:15,657
Good work. To get here, quick.

1443
01:25:16,491 --> 01:25:17,749
Storm...

1444
01:25:18,202 --> 01:25:19,625
Okay. I'm lying again.

1445
01:25:19,703 --> 01:25:20,747
Yeah.

1446
01:25:20,829 --> 01:25:23,795
Storm Rothchild?
AKA Striker Hardcastle.

1447
01:25:23,874 --> 01:25:26,757
- What?
- AKA Francois Van Vurenberg.

1448
01:25:26,835 --> 01:25:28,923
AKA Schlomo Rabinowitz?

1449
01:25:29,004 --> 01:25:31,056
You, sir, are under arrest
by the United States Navy

1450
01:25:31,131 --> 01:25:32,342
for impersonating an officer.

1451
01:25:32,758 --> 01:25:35,688
Well, hey.
Chris, can I talk to you?

1452
01:25:36,261 --> 01:25:37,353
Yeah.

1453
01:25:38,180 --> 01:25:41,359
While I'm in prison,
you'll write to me?

1454
01:25:42,226 --> 01:25:43,353
Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

1455
01:25:43,560 --> 01:25:44,687
How often?

1456
01:25:46,730 --> 01:25:47,857
Write you once a month?

1457
01:25:47,940 --> 01:25:48,983
I need more.

1458
01:25:50,776 --> 01:25:52,164
I could do once a week.

1459
01:25:52,819 --> 01:25:54,741
And you'll come to visit me?

1460
01:25:56,281 --> 01:25:58,121
You got it.

1461
01:25:58,200 --> 01:25:59,872
And, you know, Lisa?

1462
01:26:00,494 --> 01:26:01,917
She has a crush on you.

1463
01:26:12,965 --> 01:26:14,306
- This way, ma'am.
- Uh...

1464
01:26:14,424 --> 01:26:16,264
I'm okay. I'm fine.

1465
01:26:16,343 --> 01:26:19,273
All rescued persons need to
be seen by medical personnel.

1466
01:26:19,346 --> 01:26:20,390
Okay.

1467
01:26:20,681 --> 01:26:22,602
Look, dude, I...

1468
01:26:26,311 --> 01:26:28,151
Watch out, Gilligan.

1469
01:26:34,444 --> 01:26:35,951
How was that for more assertive?

1470
01:26:36,029 --> 01:26:38,615
I didn't wanna come on too
strong, and I...

1471
01:26:43,871 --> 01:26:45,757
I gotta admit it, Chris.

1472
01:26:45,831 --> 01:26:48,334
I always saw you as kind
of a sissy boy.

1473
01:26:48,417 --> 01:26:50,718
But you really proved me wrong
out there on that island.

1474
01:26:51,003 --> 01:26:52,640
You got balls, son.

1475
01:26:52,713 --> 01:26:55,181
Big balls. Just like me.

1476
01:26:55,924 --> 01:26:59,637
I bet if we pulled our balls
out and compared them,

1477
01:26:59,720 --> 01:27:01,606
they'd be exactly the same size.

1478
01:27:02,556 --> 01:27:04,608
You got a future here
with us, Chris.

1479
01:27:04,683 --> 01:27:08,065
I'm promoting you to Senior
Vice President of Design.

1480
01:27:13,984 --> 01:27:17,780
You can move your big balls
into Phil's old office right now.

1481
01:27:19,364 --> 01:27:21,469
Mr Crawford, for the
last three years,

1482
01:27:21,496 --> 01:27:23,816
I've dreamt of hearing
you say that to me.

1483
01:27:24,494 --> 01:27:26,855
This position is exactly
what I've wanted.

1484
01:27:26,882 --> 01:27:29,242
It has been on the top
of my vision board.

1485
01:27:30,125 --> 01:27:31,964
But out there on that island,
I realised something.

1486
01:27:32,044 --> 01:27:33,087
What's that, son?

1487
01:27:33,170 --> 01:27:34,214
This job sucks.

1488
01:27:34,296 --> 01:27:35,388
Excuse me?

1489
01:27:35,464 --> 01:27:39,260
Yeah, man. It sucks.
Life is too short!

1490
01:27:39,343 --> 01:27:40,600
You know, there's a whole
world out there.

1491
01:27:40,677 --> 01:27:41,888
There's a whole freaking universe!

1492
01:27:41,970 --> 01:27:43,931
I would rather take that
Martin P. Shulman Award

1493
01:27:43,972 --> 01:27:45,693
and stab myself directly
in the heart with it,

1494
01:27:45,766 --> 01:27:47,647
than spend my entire
life cooped up inside

1495
01:27:47,674 --> 01:27:49,553
these walls climbing
the corporate ladder.

1496
01:27:49,603 --> 01:27:51,655
No. I can't do it. I quit.

1497
01:27:52,022 --> 01:27:53,196
Oh, no, you didn't.

1498
01:27:55,067 --> 01:27:56,324
I quit, too.

1499
01:27:56,401 --> 01:27:57,659
She quits, too.

1500
01:28:00,030 --> 01:28:01,371
Want this closed?

1501
01:28:32,688 --> 01:28:34,194
<i>Dear Troy,</i>

1502
01:28:34,273 --> 01:28:37,867
<i>I can't tell you how disappointed
I am with you right now.</i>

1503
01:28:37,943 --> 01:28:41,455
<i>I thought we were buds.
Well, let me tell you something.</i>

1504
01:28:41,738 --> 01:28:43,541
<i>If I ever get off this island,</i>

1505
01:28:43,615 --> 01:28:47,246
<i>you're gonna have to work
pretty hard to regain my trust.</i>

1506
01:28:47,870 --> 01:28:50,966
<i>PS. I am very lonely.</i>

1507
01:28:51,290 --> 01:28:53,176
<i>I'm so sad and lonely.</i>