1
00:00:10,977 --> 00:00:15,539
Name.. Annie Braddock.

2
00:00:15,582 --> 00:00:18,574
Age.. 21.

3
00:00:18,618 --> 00:00:20,779
Area of interest..

4
00:00:20,820 --> 00:00:24,187
anthropology.

5
00:00:24,224 --> 00:00:26,124
Describe your
work experience

6
00:00:26,159 --> 00:00:28,992
as it relates
to your intended field.

7
00:00:29,029 --> 00:00:31,088
My God.

8
00:00:31,131 --> 00:00:33,759
Where do I begin?

9
00:00:33,800 --> 00:00:36,792
Attention. The Museum of Natural History

10
00:00:36,836 --> 00:00:39,532
will be closing in
15 minutes.

11
00:00:41,674 --> 00:00:43,733
Please exit the hall

12
00:00:43,777 --> 00:00:46,337
by using
the western staircase.

13
00:00:59,192 --> 00:01:01,387
Child-rearing around the world

14
00:01:01,428 --> 00:01:04,727
boasts a wide variety of
customs and mores.

15
00:01:09,335 --> 00:01:12,930
But perhaps the most bizarre
social patterns

16
00:01:12,972 --> 00:01:16,430
can be found within the small island
community of Manhattan.

17
00:01:16,476 --> 00:01:18,671
Asshole!

18
00:01:18,711 --> 00:01:21,703
The inhabitants of the region
known as the Upper East Side

19
00:01:21,748 --> 00:01:24,683
have the most prosperous,
yet idiosyncratic

20
00:01:24,717 --> 00:01:27,151
social systems
on the planet.

21
00:01:27,187 --> 00:01:28,984
After successfully mating

22
00:01:29,022 --> 00:01:30,819
and producing offspring,

23
00:01:30,857 --> 00:01:33,291
the men are often distant
and uninvolved,

24
00:01:33,326 --> 00:01:35,385
leaving their women
to hunt, gather

25
00:01:35,428 --> 00:01:37,487
and provide for
their families.

26
00:01:40,567 --> 00:01:43,866
Yet the resourceful mothers
of the Upper East Side

27
00:01:43,903 --> 00:01:45,871
have plenty of time
to participate

28
00:01:45,905 --> 00:01:49,204
in a variety of sex-role-
specific activities.

29
00:01:49,242 --> 00:01:53,144
These include
body mutilation,

30
00:01:53,179 --> 00:01:56,478
sacred meditation..

31
00:01:56,516 --> 00:01:58,575
even fasting rituals.

32
00:02:01,955 --> 00:02:04,822
Which brings us to our focus
on child-rearing:

33
00:02:04,858 --> 00:02:06,621
Who actually does it?

34
00:02:06,659 --> 00:02:09,253
Well, in Africa,
they have a saying..

35
00:02:09,295 --> 00:02:11,923
"It takes a village
to raise a child."

36
00:02:11,965 --> 00:02:14,229
But for the tribe of
the Upper East Side,

37
00:02:14,267 --> 00:02:16,565
it takes just
one person..

38
00:02:16,603 --> 00:02:18,503
the nanny.

39
00:02:24,244 --> 00:02:26,303
Okay, so what's
depicted here

40
00:02:26,346 --> 00:02:28,473
is not a typical
tribal ritual,

41
00:02:28,515 --> 00:02:31,916
but rather the unraveling
of one such nanny.

42
00:02:31,951 --> 00:02:34,545
Actually, this nanny is me.

43
00:02:34,587 --> 00:02:37,351
And why I'm telling off
a teddy bear is the subject

44
00:02:37,390 --> 00:02:39,221
of this field diary.

45
00:02:39,259 --> 00:02:42,990
If by chance my report stereotypes
or geographically profiles,

46
00:02:43,029 --> 00:02:44,826
forgive me.

47
00:02:44,864 --> 00:02:48,163
I'm not exactly
an objective observer.

48
00:02:52,105 --> 00:02:55,131
Master in economics,
minor in communications.

49
00:02:55,175 --> 00:02:58,144
- Yeah!
- Elaine Bassen,

50
00:02:58,178 --> 00:03:01,147
honors in urban planning,
minor in sociology.

51
00:03:02,448 --> 00:03:04,006
Annie Braddock,

52
00:03:04,050 --> 00:03:06,917
high honors in business,
minor in anthropology.

53
00:03:06,953 --> 00:03:09,717
So here I am a few months before
the teddy bear incident..

54
00:03:09,756 --> 00:03:10,882
Whoo-whoo!

55
00:03:10,924 --> 00:03:12,414
A native New Jersey girl

56
00:03:12,458 --> 00:03:14,926
participating in a dreaded
rite-of-passage ceremony.

57
00:03:14,961 --> 00:03:16,895
- Doh!
Oh my God!

58
00:03:16,930 --> 00:03:18,397
Spazz!

59
00:03:18,431 --> 00:03:19,864
And here's the woman who reared me

60
00:03:19,899 --> 00:03:21,594
pretty much all
by herself.

61
00:03:21,634 --> 00:03:23,465
She's a nurse.

62
00:03:23,503 --> 00:03:25,630
Note the shoes.

63
00:03:25,672 --> 00:03:29,130
What is it?

64
00:03:29,175 --> 00:03:31,905
You'll see.

65
00:03:31,945 --> 00:03:35,005
Oh, wow.

66
00:03:35,048 --> 00:03:37,209
- Thank you.
- I know it's not much,

67
00:03:37,250 --> 00:03:39,718
but I wanted to buy you
your first business suit.

68
00:03:39,752 --> 00:03:42,277
- Thanks. Thank you.
- You can look back on this

69
00:03:42,322 --> 00:03:44,654
- when you're a famous CFO.
- Oh, Mom.

70
00:03:44,691 --> 00:03:47,319
Gosh, come on. It's one meeting
at Goldman Sachs.

71
00:03:47,360 --> 00:03:51,228
It's highly competitive.
I'm probably never gonna get the job.

72
00:03:51,264 --> 00:03:53,255
All right, stop
with the negativity.

73
00:03:53,299 --> 00:03:55,824
Your father was always negative
and look where it got him.

74
00:03:55,868 --> 00:03:59,360
- Double-wide trailer in Scranton.
..ln Scranton.

75
00:03:59,405 --> 00:04:01,373
Honey, I'm not kidding.

76
00:04:01,407 --> 00:04:04,399
I would give the world to be sitting
where you're sitting right now.

77
00:04:04,444 --> 00:04:07,004
You are so much
smarter than I was.

78
00:04:07,046 --> 00:04:09,378
No man is gonna
squash your dreams.

79
00:04:09,415 --> 00:04:13,146
No one's gonna tell you
how to live your life.

80
00:04:13,186 --> 00:04:17,054
Maybe I'm.. maybe I'm not
CFO material, you know?

81
00:04:17,090 --> 00:04:20,548
No, what if I'm better
suited at something..

82
00:04:20,593 --> 00:04:22,083
- something else?
- Like what?

83
00:04:22,128 --> 00:04:24,688
Anthropology? Honey how are you
gonna make a living at that?

84
00:04:24,731 --> 00:04:28,098
Look, if you really want to
run around in grass skirts,

85
00:04:28,134 --> 00:04:31,831
then make enough money to
spend Christmas at Club Med.

86
00:04:38,945 --> 00:04:41,937
Annie, it's 7:15.

87
00:04:41,981 --> 00:04:44,848
Get moving or
you're gonna be late.

88
00:04:45,285 --> 00:04:46,912
New Jersey PATH train to Manhattan

89
00:04:46,986 --> 00:04:48,647
arriving on track two.

90
00:04:48,688 --> 00:04:49,916
Oh.

91
00:04:49,956 --> 00:04:51,583
New Jersey PATH train
to Manhattan

92
00:04:51,624 --> 00:04:53,251
arriving on track two.

93
00:04:58,431 --> 00:05:00,899
Oh, goodness.

94
00:05:00,933 --> 00:05:04,926
I have to admire
this corporate drag. Wow.

95
00:05:04,971 --> 00:05:07,906
Well, at least I'm not wearing last
night's outfit at 8:00 a.m., party girl.

96
00:05:07,940 --> 00:05:11,137
Let's just say that you
missed a fabulous throw-down

97
00:05:11,177 --> 00:05:13,077
and Tom Waylan was there.

98
00:05:13,112 --> 00:05:14,739
- So?
- He asked about you.

99
00:05:14,781 --> 00:05:16,112
Twice.

100
00:05:16,149 --> 00:05:18,344
All right, well,
I gotta go.

101
00:05:18,384 --> 00:05:20,409
- Real life awaits.
- God.

102
00:05:20,453 --> 00:05:22,421
You know, I bet none of
those cultures you study

103
00:05:22,455 --> 00:05:24,252
practice such
rigorous celibacy.

104
00:05:24,290 --> 00:05:27,020
- You ever hear of the Shakers?
- Yes, and they're extinct.

105
00:05:33,900 --> 00:05:35,800
Excuse me, sir? Sir.

106
00:05:35,835 --> 00:05:37,666
- Yeah?
- I got off at the wrong stop.

107
00:05:37,704 --> 00:05:40,070
Can you tell me where
Chambers Street is, please?

108
00:05:40,106 --> 00:05:41,971
You see the building
with the red umbrella?

109
00:05:42,008 --> 00:05:44,203
- Yes.
- It's about five blocks below that.

110
00:05:44,243 --> 00:05:46,006
Oh shit.

111
00:05:47,680 --> 00:05:50,547
Our financial analyst training program

112
00:05:50,583 --> 00:05:52,210
is so competitive.

113
00:05:52,251 --> 00:05:55,550
We have over 8,000 applicants
for 10 positions.

114
00:05:55,588 --> 00:05:57,613
So, why don't you
tell me,

115
00:05:57,657 --> 00:06:01,559
in your own words,
who exactly is Annie Braddock?

116
00:06:01,594 --> 00:06:03,562
Wow, that's..

117
00:06:03,596 --> 00:06:06,087
that's certainly
an easy enough question.

118
00:06:06,132 --> 00:06:07,963
Mm-hm.

119
00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:10,332
Annie Braddock is

120
00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:13,032
a kind..

121
00:06:14,040 --> 00:06:16,270
well..

122
00:06:17,443 --> 00:06:20,344
I am..

123
00:06:20,380 --> 00:06:23,042
Go on.

124
00:06:23,082 --> 00:06:26,051
Well, you see..

125
00:06:26,085 --> 00:06:27,848
Mm-hm.

126
00:06:27,887 --> 00:06:29,946
I have absolutely
no idea.

127
00:06:29,989 --> 00:06:31,183
Excuse me.

128
00:06:33,760 --> 00:06:35,819
Who is Annie Braddock?

129
00:06:35,862 --> 00:06:37,830
It wasn't exactly
a trick question.

130
00:06:37,864 --> 00:06:41,391
Yet somehow I couldn't
formulate a response.

131
00:06:41,434 --> 00:06:43,664
Of course I knew
all the basic facts..

132
00:06:43,703 --> 00:06:47,002
the date of birth, home town,
socioeconomic makeup.

133
00:06:47,039 --> 00:06:50,270
But I didn't really know
who I was, where I fit in,

134
00:06:50,309 --> 00:06:52,402
who I was gonna be.

135
00:06:52,445 --> 00:06:55,608
I was suddenly terrified
I'd never find the answer.

136
00:06:55,648 --> 00:06:58,412
I need five rolls of fabric
overnighted from London.

137
00:06:58,451 --> 00:07:00,976
I don't care
how much it costs.

138
00:07:01,020 --> 00:07:02,351
# Ooh #

139
00:07:02,388 --> 00:07:04,754
# You're a native
New Yorker.. #

140
00:07:04,791 --> 00:07:06,452
How about her?

141
00:07:06,492 --> 00:07:09,222
This woman.. could she
be Annie Braddock?

142
00:07:09,262 --> 00:07:11,457
# You should know by now #

143
00:07:11,497 --> 00:07:14,625
# You're a native
New Yorker.. #

144
00:07:16,769 --> 00:07:19,260
Hmm.

145
00:07:20,673 --> 00:07:23,403
Or perhaps this
is Annie Braddock?

146
00:07:25,745 --> 00:07:29,909
# You grew up
riding the subways #

147
00:07:29,949 --> 00:07:32,315
# Running with people #

148
00:07:32,351 --> 00:07:35,115
# Up in Harlem,
down on Broadway #

149
00:07:35,154 --> 00:07:38,612
# There you are
lost in the shadows #

150
00:07:38,658 --> 00:07:41,320
# Searching for someone #

151
00:07:41,360 --> 00:07:44,420
# You're the heart and soul
of New York City.. #

152
00:07:46,899 --> 00:07:48,924
On that spring afternoon,

153
00:07:48,968 --> 00:07:52,870
it seemed my future
was finally set.

154
00:07:52,905 --> 00:07:55,237
A Central Park bag lady
I would be.

155
00:07:55,274 --> 00:07:58,937
At least I'd finally get
to live in Manhattan.

156
00:07:58,978 --> 00:08:01,708
But before I officially
surrendered to fate,

157
00:08:01,747 --> 00:08:05,012
something.. or rather,
someone..

158
00:08:05,051 --> 00:08:07,747
intervened.

159
00:08:11,190 --> 00:08:12,521
Mmm.

160
00:08:15,261 --> 00:08:17,252
- Whoa!
- Ahh ahh!

161
00:08:21,767 --> 00:08:23,359
Hello there.

162
00:08:23,402 --> 00:08:24,767
Hi.
Are you okay?

163
00:08:24,804 --> 00:08:26,999
Get off of me,
you pervert.

164
00:08:32,311 --> 00:08:34,404
Do you belong to anyone,
little man?

165
00:08:34,447 --> 00:08:36,972
Grayer!
- I belong to you.

166
00:08:37,016 --> 00:08:39,576
Grayer!

167
00:08:39,619 --> 00:08:42,679
Oh God.
Thank you so much.

168
00:08:42,722 --> 00:08:45,520
You just averted
a minor disaster.

169
00:08:45,558 --> 00:08:47,492
The woman featured here..

170
00:08:47,527 --> 00:08:49,461
the one wearing
the Dior snakeskin jacket

171
00:08:49,495 --> 00:08:50,792
and Louis Vuitton
shoes..

172
00:08:50,830 --> 00:08:53,196
is unfortunately not
Annie Braddock.

173
00:08:53,232 --> 00:08:55,496
# New York City girl.. #

174
00:08:57,336 --> 00:09:00,032
She is, in fact, a perfect
female specimen

175
00:09:00,072 --> 00:09:01,937
from the
Upper East Side clan.

176
00:09:01,974 --> 00:09:03,839
For the purpose of
this case study,

177
00:09:03,876 --> 00:09:06,709
we'll just call her
Mrs. X.

178
00:09:06,746 --> 00:09:09,078
Hi, I'm Mrs. X.

179
00:09:09,115 --> 00:09:11,675
Let me apologize for
my feral son.

180
00:09:11,717 --> 00:09:13,685
Oh, no need to
apologize.

181
00:09:13,719 --> 00:09:15,346
Please, I love kids.
I'm Annie.

182
00:09:15,388 --> 00:09:17,447
You're a nanny?
Oh!

183
00:09:17,490 --> 00:09:18,957
- No, I'm not.
- No wonder.

184
00:09:18,991 --> 00:09:21,084
- You're so good with children.
- Oh, I'm not.

185
00:09:21,127 --> 00:09:23,459
Actually, I just
lost my nanny Bertie,

186
00:09:23,496 --> 00:09:25,987
which is why I'm out in
this godforsaken park

187
00:09:26,032 --> 00:09:27,590
- by myself.
- Okay.

188
00:09:27,633 --> 00:09:29,658
- She left us to go get married.
- All right.

189
00:09:29,702 --> 00:09:32,637
Oh my God.
Are.. are you employed?

190
00:09:34,006 --> 00:09:36,440
- No, unfortunately, I..
- Fabulous!

191
00:09:36,475 --> 00:09:38,443
Look, here..
here is my card.

192
00:09:38,477 --> 00:09:41,571
Please please please
call me later this week.

193
00:09:41,614 --> 00:09:43,582
We'll schedule a lunch.
Anywhere you'd like to go.

194
00:09:43,616 --> 00:09:45,481
- I'm sorry..
- The Mark, the Four Seasons.

195
00:09:45,518 --> 00:09:48,419
Unfortunately, I have to run, but I
really look forward to hearing from you.

196
00:09:48,454 --> 00:09:50,285
I'm sorry.. I really think
you misunderstood me.

197
00:09:50,323 --> 00:09:52,223
I have a very
good feeling about this.

198
00:09:52,258 --> 00:09:53,919
- I..
- Call me.

199
00:10:01,400 --> 00:10:03,391
Pardon me, I couldn't
help but overhear.

200
00:10:03,436 --> 00:10:05,199
I'm looking for
a new nanny too.

201
00:10:05,237 --> 00:10:06,898
- Oh I..
- Can I give you my card as well?

202
00:10:06,939 --> 00:10:09,271
- Excuse me?
- I pay well above average.

203
00:10:09,308 --> 00:10:12,300
- I have a card too, call me.
- I have a place in the Hamptons.

204
00:10:12,345 --> 00:10:14,370
Donald Trump lives
in my building.

205
00:10:14,413 --> 00:10:17,382
It seemed that fate now
offered me a wonderful alternative..

206
00:10:17,416 --> 00:10:20,510
an opportunity to completely
duck out of my life.

207
00:10:20,553 --> 00:10:23,078
So I decided for
one summer

208
00:10:23,122 --> 00:10:25,317
to abandon Annie

209
00:10:25,358 --> 00:10:27,986
and trade her in for
a brand-new persona..

210
00:10:28,027 --> 00:10:29,790
Nanny.

211
00:10:31,764 --> 00:10:35,962
Of course there was
one tiny problem.

212
00:10:36,002 --> 00:10:39,904
Everything I knew about
nannying came from the movies.

213
00:10:41,607 --> 00:10:45,202
Even so, I fell
asleep confident

214
00:10:45,244 --> 00:10:48,008
that I'd magically
find my way.

215
00:10:54,353 --> 00:10:56,981
Annie?

216
00:10:57,023 --> 00:10:58,923
Annie!

217
00:11:21,447 --> 00:11:23,847
Annie?

218
00:11:23,883 --> 00:11:27,182
Ahh-hoo-hoo!

219
00:11:28,688 --> 00:11:31,555
Get your feet
on the ground, young lady.

220
00:11:53,412 --> 00:11:55,277
Hmm.

221
00:12:01,454 --> 00:12:04,423
The fact that I had
no child-care experience

222
00:12:04,457 --> 00:12:06,891
mattered little to the matriarchs
of the Upper East Side.

223
00:12:06,926 --> 00:12:09,451
Even though I
don't have a job,

224
00:12:09,495 --> 00:12:12,623
I just don't seem to have
enough time for myself.

225
00:12:12,665 --> 00:12:14,895
All they needed
to know was that I was white,

226
00:12:14,934 --> 00:12:17,903
a college grad,
and terminally single.

227
00:12:17,937 --> 00:12:20,201
As you can see,
my husband and I

228
00:12:20,239 --> 00:12:21,706
are getting a divorce.

229
00:12:21,741 --> 00:12:25,108
So you and the kids
must remain

230
00:12:25,144 --> 00:12:27,044
on my side of
the apartment

231
00:12:27,079 --> 00:12:28,876
at all times..

232
00:12:28,914 --> 00:12:31,883
until the custody
battle is settled.

233
00:12:31,917 --> 00:12:33,942
Oh..

234
00:12:33,986 --> 00:12:37,854
In short, I was the Chanel
bag of nannies.

235
00:12:37,890 --> 00:12:39,653
I heard through the grapevine

236
00:12:39,692 --> 00:12:41,250
you've been meeting
with a lot of people.

237
00:12:41,293 --> 00:12:44,057
So I thought you might appreciate
a civilized lunch at Bergdorf's

238
00:12:44,096 --> 00:12:45,757
rather than being
interviewed at the apartment.

239
00:12:45,798 --> 00:12:47,356
Thank you,
that's very considerate.

240
00:12:47,399 --> 00:12:49,924
Not really.
I just love to eat out.

241
00:12:49,969 --> 00:12:51,937
I'll probably come up
with a million excuses

242
00:12:51,971 --> 00:12:53,404
for us to go have lunch.

243
00:12:53,439 --> 00:12:55,771
I mean, if you end up
with us, I mean.

244
00:12:55,808 --> 00:12:57,799
Ready?

245
00:12:57,843 --> 00:13:00,038
Do.. do you know
what you're having?

246
00:13:00,079 --> 00:13:01,944
I don't mean
to rush you,

247
00:13:01,981 --> 00:13:05,144
but I'm attending a 2:00 lecture

248
00:13:05,184 --> 00:13:08,381
"Super Mom, Trying to Juggle It All."

249
00:13:08,420 --> 00:13:10,854
I'll just have the burger.

250
00:13:10,890 --> 00:13:13,882
Thanks.

251
00:13:13,926 --> 00:13:16,486
I can't guarantee
that the meat here

252
00:13:16,529 --> 00:13:19,396
is antibiotic-free.
But the chef here is from Brittany,

253
00:13:19,431 --> 00:13:23,162
so I highly recommend the crepe
Bretagne. Deux, s'il vous plait.

254
00:13:23,202 --> 00:13:25,568
- Okay.
- Excellent choice.

255
00:13:25,604 --> 00:13:27,162
Thanks.

256
00:13:30,409 --> 00:13:31,967
You're from New Jersey.

257
00:13:32,011 --> 00:13:34,138
Unfortunately.

258
00:13:34,180 --> 00:13:37,707
Oh no, there are some very
lovely parts of that state.

259
00:13:37,750 --> 00:13:40,446
Friends of ours have a horse
farm in Upper Saddle River.

260
00:13:40,486 --> 00:13:41,885
- Really?
- Mm-hm.

261
00:13:41,921 --> 00:13:44,253
I.. I hear it's
really nice there.

262
00:13:44,290 --> 00:13:46,053
I'll have to take you
riding there one day.

263
00:13:46,091 --> 00:13:47,319
Okay.

264
00:13:47,359 --> 00:13:49,190
Tell me more.

265
00:13:49,228 --> 00:13:52,254
I want to know
all about you.

266
00:13:52,298 --> 00:13:55,461
- Uh..
- I'm from Connecticut, actually.

267
00:13:55,501 --> 00:13:57,833
I went to Smith.
And don't believe the rumors,

268
00:13:57,870 --> 00:14:00,031
we weren't all
lesbians.

269
00:14:00,072 --> 00:14:01,539
After graduation,

270
00:14:01,574 --> 00:14:05,374
I moved here and started
running the Gagosian.

271
00:14:05,411 --> 00:14:07,379
The art gallery.

272
00:14:07,413 --> 00:14:09,438
- Oh.
- It was a blast.

273
00:14:09,481 --> 00:14:11,449
But you really.. you can't
do that sort of thing

274
00:14:11,483 --> 00:14:12,814
when you're raising a child.

275
00:14:12,852 --> 00:14:15,582
The parties,
the schmoozing, the travel..

276
00:14:15,621 --> 00:14:17,452
Oh, excuse me..

277
00:14:17,489 --> 00:14:19,218
- Oh.
- Bitsy.

278
00:14:19,258 --> 00:14:20,850
- It's you.
- Bitsy.

279
00:14:20,893 --> 00:14:23,384
I've so been
meaning to call.

280
00:14:23,429 --> 00:14:25,659
Is there anything
at all I can do?

281
00:14:25,698 --> 00:14:27,529
Not unless you
know a hit man.

282
00:14:27,566 --> 00:14:29,966
That lawyer Jeanie Whitman
recommended was no help at all.

283
00:14:30,002 --> 00:14:31,594
I am so sorry.

284
00:14:31,637 --> 00:14:34,902
Turns out all our assets
are actually in Tucker's company's name.

285
00:14:34,940 --> 00:14:36,908
All I'm getting
is a million flat.

286
00:14:36,942 --> 00:14:39,240
That's appalling.

287
00:14:39,278 --> 00:14:43,806
If I'd known it would go this far,
I would have just turned a blind eye.

288
00:14:43,849 --> 00:14:47,080
Anyway, enjoy the rest
of your lunch before I ruin that too.

289
00:14:47,119 --> 00:14:49,679
I'll call you later
this week, sweetheart.

290
00:14:53,659 --> 00:14:56,628
Such a shame.

291
00:14:56,662 --> 00:14:59,893
But she should have seen it
coming.. everyone else did.

292
00:14:59,932 --> 00:15:02,560
Anyway, where were we?
Ah yes.

293
00:15:02,601 --> 00:15:05,126
After Gagosian,

294
00:15:05,170 --> 00:15:07,798
I met Mr. X.

295
00:15:10,175 --> 00:15:12,643
You know, my grandmother
worked as a domestic

296
00:15:12,678 --> 00:15:14,373
so we wouldn't have to.

297
00:15:14,413 --> 00:15:16,574
And here you are,
fresh out of college

298
00:15:16,615 --> 00:15:19,015
voluntarily taking
a nanny gig.

299
00:15:19,051 --> 00:15:21,781
I told you, this is not
a lifelong commitment.

300
00:15:21,820 --> 00:15:24,516
Okay? It's just a way
for me to get my head together.

301
00:15:24,556 --> 00:15:26,319
Besides,
the money is great.

302
00:15:26,358 --> 00:15:28,519
I finally get to
move to the city.

303
00:15:28,560 --> 00:15:31,222
I'm moving to the city
to go to grad school,

304
00:15:31,263 --> 00:15:32,890
not to be somebody's
servant.

305
00:15:32,932 --> 00:15:35,423
Plus you know you're wrong,
or you wouldn't be lying to your mother.

306
00:15:35,467 --> 00:15:37,958
This is all just
happening too fast.

307
00:15:38,003 --> 00:15:41,336
I don't understand why you can't
just live at the house for a while,

308
00:15:41,373 --> 00:15:42,670
just to get on your feet.

309
00:15:42,708 --> 00:15:44,676
Mom, I lived at home through
four years of college.

310
00:15:44,710 --> 00:15:46,075
Don't you think
that's long enough?

311
00:15:46,111 --> 00:15:47,840
Well, how could you find
a decent apartment so fast?

312
00:15:47,880 --> 00:15:51,008
The bank has, you know,
an excellent program.

313
00:15:51,050 --> 00:15:53,177
They got me hooked up with
a trainee, which is great.

314
00:15:53,218 --> 00:15:55,049
I'm getting in
the car.

315
00:15:55,087 --> 00:15:56,850
Can I come with you?

316
00:15:56,889 --> 00:15:59,619
I would feel a lot better if I could
at least see where you were living.

317
00:15:59,658 --> 00:16:01,683
Come on. The other
trainees, you know,

318
00:16:01,727 --> 00:16:04,195
they went to fancy
boarding schools

319
00:16:04,229 --> 00:16:05,787
and European exchange
programs.

320
00:16:05,831 --> 00:16:09,198
I show up with my mom,
I'll just look like a big dork.

321
00:16:09,234 --> 00:16:11,395
Guess that makes sense.

322
00:16:11,437 --> 00:16:12,927
Come here.

323
00:16:12,972 --> 00:16:14,234
I love you.

324
00:16:14,273 --> 00:16:16,639
Let me know the minute
I can visit you.

325
00:16:16,675 --> 00:16:18,540
I'll call you when
I get there, okay?

326
00:16:21,647 --> 00:16:24,582
# Freedom, freedom.. #

327
00:16:24,650 --> 00:16:26,379
Hey, you're gonna
get me a ticket.

328
00:16:26,418 --> 00:16:28,852
# Freedom #

329
00:16:28,887 --> 00:16:31,219
# You got to give
what you take.. #

330
00:16:31,256 --> 00:16:34,316
- You're crazy.
- # Freedom #

331
00:16:34,360 --> 00:16:36,988
- # Freedom.. #
- Sing it again.

332
00:16:37,029 --> 00:16:39,395
# Freedom #

333
00:16:39,431 --> 00:16:42,559
# You got to give what you take. #

334
00:16:45,304 --> 00:16:47,499
I love that song.

335
00:16:49,141 --> 00:16:51,268
I'm telling you, like the bees,

336
00:16:51,310 --> 00:16:53,403
you're free, girl.

337
00:16:53,445 --> 00:16:54,969
That's okay, I'll
take care of it, miss.

338
00:16:55,014 --> 00:16:56,777
Oh, thank you.

339
00:16:56,815 --> 00:16:58,680
I can't believe this.
I could get used to this.

340
00:16:58,717 --> 00:17:01,584
- I'm telling you that.
- Thank God I'm getting a shrink degree.

341
00:17:01,620 --> 00:17:04,350
You know, I love you,
but you're harsh.

342
00:17:04,390 --> 00:17:06,085
A little bit.

343
00:17:06,125 --> 00:17:08,593
Just give me a hug.

344
00:17:08,627 --> 00:17:12,393
Mwah! I'll see
you soon, I'm sure.

345
00:17:12,431 --> 00:17:13,864
Annie?

346
00:17:15,334 --> 00:17:18,428
You know the path
of least resistance?

347
00:17:18,470 --> 00:17:20,301
It can lead through
a minefield.

348
00:17:28,313 --> 00:17:29,905
Oh, hi.

349
00:17:29,948 --> 00:17:32,382
You are the new nanny?

350
00:17:32,418 --> 00:17:35,114
Yes, and you must
be Maria.

351
00:17:35,154 --> 00:17:37,418
- Nice to meet you.
- Hmm.

352
00:17:37,456 --> 00:17:39,583
Can I come in?

353
00:17:39,625 --> 00:17:41,525
Okay.

354
00:17:41,560 --> 00:17:43,221
Leave it there.

355
00:17:43,262 --> 00:17:44,786
The floor is clean.

356
00:17:44,830 --> 00:17:46,821
Mmm.

357
00:17:52,171 --> 00:17:53,604
Wow.

358
00:17:53,639 --> 00:17:56,665
This place is
incredible.

359
00:17:56,708 --> 00:18:00,269
I hope you last longer
than the last one.

360
00:18:00,312 --> 00:18:02,007
Who, Bertie?
Oh yeah.

361
00:18:02,047 --> 00:18:04,015
Mrs. X told me that she
left to get married.

362
00:18:04,049 --> 00:18:06,984
Married? She had one date
and she get fired.

363
00:18:09,721 --> 00:18:13,020
Oh, Maria? Are you gonna tell
Mrs. X that I've arrived?

364
00:18:13,058 --> 00:18:15,026
Mrs. X is shopping.

365
00:18:15,060 --> 00:18:17,028
But she left you
a note on the table.

366
00:18:17,062 --> 00:18:19,622
Now I have to go run
the vacuum, okay?

367
00:18:19,665 --> 00:18:21,690
Ay..

368
00:18:34,646 --> 00:18:36,045
"Dear Nanny,

369
00:18:36,081 --> 00:18:38,049
welcome!"

370
00:18:38,083 --> 00:18:40,244
Please make note that from here on in,

371
00:18:40,285 --> 00:18:43,914
I'm referred to as "Nanny" by all
the people in the Xs' social network.

372
00:18:43,956 --> 00:18:46,823
I'm so excited to have you on board.

373
00:18:46,859 --> 00:18:49,760
Please make yourself
completely at home.

374
00:18:49,795 --> 00:18:52,525
Manuel is making you
your own set of keys.

375
00:18:52,564 --> 00:18:54,532
Mmm.
- You should have them by tomorrow.

376
00:18:54,566 --> 00:18:56,329
The fridge
is well-stocked.

377
00:18:56,368 --> 00:18:58,029
Tofu cutlets?

378
00:18:58,070 --> 00:19:00,265
- Ugh.
- Help yourself to anything.

379
00:19:00,305 --> 00:19:01,567
Yuck.

380
00:19:01,607 --> 00:19:04,007
Sorry I could not
be there to meet you

381
00:19:04,042 --> 00:19:06,636
but I'm trying to squeeze
in a little shopping

382
00:19:06,678 --> 00:19:08,646
before my
Parents' Society meeting,

383
00:19:08,680 --> 00:19:10,511
which reminds me..

384
00:19:10,549 --> 00:19:12,983
please pick Grayer up
from the Christian preschool..

385
00:19:13,018 --> 00:19:14,747
- Wow!
..at 2:15 sharp.

386
00:19:14,786 --> 00:19:17,482
It's extremely important
not to be late.

387
00:19:17,523 --> 00:19:18,785
Ooh.

388
00:19:18,824 --> 00:19:20,189
As you can see,

389
00:19:20,225 --> 00:19:22,591
I have attached a list
of basic house rules.

390
00:19:22,628 --> 00:19:25,392
Hello, Manolo.
- We believe it's important

391
00:19:25,430 --> 00:19:28,922
to maintain some sense
of structure in our home

392
00:19:28,967 --> 00:19:30,594
for Grayer's sake.

393
00:19:30,636 --> 00:19:32,228
Rule number one:

394
00:19:32,271 --> 00:19:34,967
Grayer and his playmates
are never allowed

395
00:19:35,007 --> 00:19:36,975
- in the master bedroom.
- Oops.

396
00:19:37,009 --> 00:19:40,410
Of course, you should refrain from
entering our bedroom as well.

397
00:19:40,445 --> 00:19:42,345
Rule number two:

398
00:19:42,381 --> 00:19:44,645
Grayer is never allowed
to nap during the day.

399
00:19:44,683 --> 00:19:45,945
No naps?

400
00:19:45,984 --> 00:19:48,214
This throws his sleeping
schedule completely off.

401
00:19:48,253 --> 00:19:51,188
And I prefer him tired
when I get home.

402
00:19:53,659 --> 00:19:55,524
Rule number three:

403
00:19:55,561 --> 00:19:58,029
- we just had the walls redone.
- Mm-hm.

404
00:19:58,063 --> 00:20:00,190
Please keep Grayer from
rubbing up against them.

405
00:20:00,232 --> 00:20:01,961
- Oh!
- Rule number four:

406
00:20:02,000 --> 00:20:04,696
if school is
ever canceled,

407
00:20:04,736 --> 00:20:07,762
the following nonstructured
outings are permissible..

408
00:20:07,806 --> 00:20:10,001
the Met,

409
00:20:10,042 --> 00:20:11,703
the Morgan Library,

410
00:20:11,743 --> 00:20:13,904
the French
Culinary Institute,

411
00:20:13,946 --> 00:20:15,937
the New York
Stock Exchange.

412
00:20:15,981 --> 00:20:17,642
Rule number five!

413
00:20:17,683 --> 00:20:20,345
- We do not take
the subway because of germs.

414
00:20:20,385 --> 00:20:22,285
Oh God.

415
00:20:22,321 --> 00:20:24,585
Grayer still must
be in a stroller

416
00:20:24,623 --> 00:20:26,784
- when crossing Park or Madison.
- Blah blah blah.

417
00:20:26,825 --> 00:20:29,385
Grayer maintains

418
00:20:29,428 --> 00:20:31,419
a high-soy
organic diet.

419
00:20:31,463 --> 00:20:32,987
Rule number eight:

420
00:20:33,031 --> 00:20:36,262
practice French with Grayer
at least three times a week.

421
00:20:36,301 --> 00:20:38,792
His father wants him to
attend Collegiate

422
00:20:38,837 --> 00:20:40,566
where he's currently
wait-listed.

423
00:20:40,606 --> 00:20:42,597
French?
Holy merde.

424
00:20:42,641 --> 00:20:44,836
His acceptance is
a top priority.

425
00:20:44,876 --> 00:20:47,037
Mon Dieu.

426
00:20:47,079 --> 00:20:49,013
Nanny?

427
00:20:51,483 --> 00:20:53,951
Nanny?

428
00:20:53,986 --> 00:20:55,613
- What are you doing?
- The note said

429
00:20:55,654 --> 00:20:57,986
to pick up Grayer
from school at 2:15.

430
00:20:58,023 --> 00:20:59,081
Hm.

431
00:20:59,124 --> 00:21:01,024
And it's only..
it's only 1:00.

432
00:21:01,059 --> 00:21:04,893
So I was a little sweaty from moving
and I thought that I would, you know..

433
00:21:04,930 --> 00:21:08,559
What I mean is, what are you
doing in that bathtub?

434
00:21:08,600 --> 00:21:11,626
And why are your bags

435
00:21:11,670 --> 00:21:13,831
strewn all over
the guest room?

436
00:21:13,872 --> 00:21:17,035
I thought that
was my room.

437
00:21:17,075 --> 00:21:18,167
No.

438
00:21:20,145 --> 00:21:21,737
No, Nanny.

439
00:21:23,749 --> 00:21:25,717
This is your room.

440
00:21:25,751 --> 00:21:27,719
Oh.

441
00:21:27,753 --> 00:21:30,017
Okay.

442
00:21:30,055 --> 00:21:32,523
Yeah, this is..

443
00:21:32,557 --> 00:21:34,616
very sweet.

444
00:21:36,328 --> 00:21:38,159
Hmm.

445
00:21:48,440 --> 00:21:51,500
I'm sorry.
Do you have the time?

446
00:21:51,543 --> 00:21:53,670
2:15.

447
00:21:53,712 --> 00:21:55,577
So they'll be getting out
anytime now?

448
00:21:55,614 --> 00:21:57,912
- 2:45.
- I'm sorry?

449
00:21:57,949 --> 00:22:01,715
They get out
every day at 2:45.

450
00:22:01,753 --> 00:22:04,085
Dumbass.

451
00:22:06,024 --> 00:22:07,616
It quickly became clear

452
00:22:07,659 --> 00:22:10,253
that Mrs. X had arranged
for me to arrive everywhere

453
00:22:10,295 --> 00:22:12,320
torturously early.

454
00:22:14,966 --> 00:22:18,094
Get ready, ladies.
Here they come.

455
00:22:25,777 --> 00:22:27,870
Grayer?
Grayer?

456
00:22:29,781 --> 00:22:32,545
- Grayer X?
- Who is it you're looking for?

457
00:22:32,584 --> 00:22:35,382
- Grayer.
- I know that one.

458
00:22:35,420 --> 00:22:37,888
He plays with my
wee monster, Darwin.

459
00:22:37,923 --> 00:22:40,187
- Hy-ya!
- Ow!

460
00:22:40,225 --> 00:22:42,193
Oh, Grayer,
there you are.

461
00:22:42,227 --> 00:22:44,127
Hey, little man,
you remember me?

462
00:22:44,162 --> 00:22:45,925
Yes, and I hate you!

463
00:22:45,964 --> 00:22:48,797
What? Come on, we get
along great, remember?

464
00:22:48,834 --> 00:22:51,064
Like when we met
in Central Park?

465
00:22:51,103 --> 00:22:52,900
Let me get
your backpack.

466
00:22:52,938 --> 00:22:54,906
Stop. Grayer, stop.

467
00:22:54,940 --> 00:22:56,931
Help, police! She's hurting me!

468
00:22:56,975 --> 00:22:59,205
- They usually start out that way.
- Yes.

469
00:22:59,244 --> 00:23:01,109
- Danger, danger!
- Just be patient, eh?

470
00:23:01,146 --> 00:23:03,080
- Let me put you in your stroller, okay?
- It'll get easier.

471
00:23:03,115 --> 00:23:04,878
- Hang on one second.
- I'm too big for a stroller!

472
00:23:04,916 --> 00:23:06,247
- Grayer!
- Help!

473
00:23:06,284 --> 00:23:07,717
- Grayer!
- Police.

474
00:23:07,753 --> 00:23:10,551
Grayer!
Grayer!

475
00:23:10,589 --> 00:23:12,921
Grayer!
Come here!

476
00:23:12,958 --> 00:23:15,290
- I hate you, I want Bertie!
- I know, honey.

477
00:23:15,327 --> 00:23:17,557
I know you want Bertie.
Bertie had to leave to get married

478
00:23:17,596 --> 00:23:19,393
or go on a date
or something, okay?

479
00:23:19,431 --> 00:23:21,865
But I promise, we're gonna have a lot
of fun together, honestly.

480
00:23:21,900 --> 00:23:25,996
All right? Now let me see how handsome
you look in your uniform.

481
00:23:26,037 --> 00:23:27,595
What's that?

482
00:23:28,907 --> 00:23:30,738
- Oh.
- Don't touch that!

483
00:23:30,776 --> 00:23:34,234
It belongs to my daddy!
I hate you. I want Bertie.

484
00:23:34,279 --> 00:23:35,940
Grayer.

485
00:23:35,981 --> 00:23:37,573
Already, one had to wonder..

486
00:23:37,616 --> 00:23:40,551
what kind of culture would
turn a father's business card

487
00:23:40,585 --> 00:23:42,485
into a security blanket?

488
00:23:42,521 --> 00:23:44,546
Here we are.

489
00:23:44,589 --> 00:23:47,854
Home sweet home.
First mission accomplished.

490
00:23:49,528 --> 00:23:52,725
Grayer, get up off the floor.
It's very dirty.

491
00:23:52,764 --> 00:23:54,026
Nuh-uh.

492
00:23:54,065 --> 00:23:56,465
I have an idea.

493
00:23:56,501 --> 00:23:58,298
Why don't we race
to the front door?

494
00:23:58,336 --> 00:24:00,270
Okay, last one there is
a rotten egg.

495
00:24:00,305 --> 00:24:02,933
I'm not stupid.
You're just gonna let me win.

496
00:24:02,974 --> 00:24:05,534
No, I am a mighty
good runner, mister.

497
00:24:05,577 --> 00:24:07,943
- Not with your pants down.
- Oh my God!

498
00:24:09,848 --> 00:24:12,612
Oh shit!
The stroller!

499
00:24:18,657 --> 00:24:20,784
Shit!
Grayer!

500
00:24:20,826 --> 00:24:23,294
You said a curse.
I'm telling Mommy.

501
00:24:23,328 --> 00:24:26,092
Grayer, I am not kidding.
Open this door right now.

502
00:24:27,532 --> 00:24:29,329
- Maria!
- Touch my fingers.

503
00:24:30,936 --> 00:24:33,200
- Ow!
- I am not letting go..

504
00:24:33,238 --> 00:24:34,865
until you open the door!

505
00:24:34,906 --> 00:24:36,134
Ow!

506
00:24:38,910 --> 00:24:40,172
Pardon me.

507
00:24:44,182 --> 00:24:46,173
I think this belongs
to Grayer.

508
00:24:46,218 --> 00:24:48,243
Rode the elevator to
the 12th floor.

509
00:24:48,286 --> 00:24:50,720
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

510
00:24:50,755 --> 00:24:52,723
Sorry, we're having a little
bit of a situation here.

511
00:24:57,462 --> 00:24:59,259
By the way, my name's..

512
00:24:59,297 --> 00:25:02,164
Since my job required a vow of chastity,

513
00:25:02,200 --> 00:25:04,668
it was essential that
I avoided all intimacies,

514
00:25:04,703 --> 00:25:06,330
especially first names.

515
00:25:06,371 --> 00:25:08,532
For the purpose of
this field diary,

516
00:25:08,573 --> 00:25:11,041
let's just call him
Harvard Hottie.

517
00:25:11,076 --> 00:25:13,101
I'm the Xs' new nanny.

518
00:25:13,144 --> 00:25:16,944
- Oh.
- Very new, as you can probably tell.

519
00:25:16,982 --> 00:25:20,782
I'm taking off all my clothes.

520
00:25:20,819 --> 00:25:23,720
Seems to be popular
on this floor.

521
00:25:25,090 --> 00:25:27,684
Mind if I take a crack
at him for you?

522
00:25:27,726 --> 00:25:30,661
Be my guest.

523
00:25:30,695 --> 00:25:34,062
Hey, Grayer,
it's your pal from upstairs.

524
00:25:34,099 --> 00:25:37,034
Hey, would you be a sport
and unlock the door?

525
00:25:37,068 --> 00:25:39,798
It's not nice to
lock people out.

526
00:25:39,838 --> 00:25:41,829
Please, buddy?

527
00:25:44,342 --> 00:25:47,539
- Hey.
- Why are you here?

528
00:25:47,579 --> 00:25:51,743
Oh, I'm just helping out
my new friend.

529
00:25:51,783 --> 00:25:54,274
Annie.

530
00:25:54,319 --> 00:25:56,753
Annie.
Annie the nanny.

531
00:25:56,788 --> 00:25:58,983
She's your friend?

532
00:25:59,024 --> 00:26:02,585
Yes, she's my friend.
Isn't she your friend too?

533
00:26:02,627 --> 00:26:05,027
Not yet.

534
00:26:14,372 --> 00:26:16,203
- Thank you.
- Anytime.

535
00:26:18,043 --> 00:26:20,807
Suddenly the world's
most notorious loner

536
00:26:20,845 --> 00:26:22,972
had two new men
in her life.

537
00:26:23,014 --> 00:26:27,383
Unfortunately, I knew that
the big one was off-limits.

538
00:26:27,419 --> 00:26:29,319
Based on my observations,

539
00:26:29,354 --> 00:26:32,255
guys like Harvard Hottie
only slum it when they're in college.

540
00:26:32,290 --> 00:26:34,622
So, instead of
following my heart,

541
00:26:34,659 --> 00:26:37,822
I focused on finding a way
into Grayer's.

542
00:26:48,139 --> 00:26:51,165
Grayer, stop it.

543
00:26:51,209 --> 00:26:54,303
# Why can't we
be friends? #

544
00:26:54,346 --> 00:26:56,143
Befriending Grayer

545
00:26:56,181 --> 00:26:58,308
certainly wasn't easy.

546
00:27:01,686 --> 00:27:03,278
La la la la la la!

547
00:27:03,321 --> 00:27:05,585
But then again, Margaret Mead
didn't run home every time

548
00:27:05,624 --> 00:27:08,457
- she contracted malaria.
- Whoa!

549
00:27:08,493 --> 00:27:10,518
You're in trouble!

550
00:27:10,562 --> 00:27:12,689
I thought this job
was supposed to be

551
00:27:12,731 --> 00:27:14,494
a way to get
your head together?

552
00:27:14,532 --> 00:27:17,797
Two weeks in and you already sound
depressed, dejected and paranoid.

553
00:27:17,836 --> 00:27:20,168
You forgot to mention
malnourished.

554
00:27:20,205 --> 00:27:22,969
I swear, all these people eat
is bean curd and seltzer.

555
00:27:23,008 --> 00:27:24,202
Ew.

556
00:27:24,242 --> 00:27:25,971
I mean, even the ice cream
is made out of tofu.

557
00:27:26,011 --> 00:27:28,377
So why don't you come down
and have dinner with us then?

558
00:27:28,413 --> 00:27:31,382
My new roomie's
making gumbo.

559
00:27:31,416 --> 00:27:33,884
It's not gumbo.
It's Creole bouillabaisse.

560
00:27:33,918 --> 00:27:35,852
I don't get it.

561
00:27:35,887 --> 00:27:39,084
You move to the city and overnight
your life becomes "Will & Grace."

562
00:27:39,124 --> 00:27:40,785
I'm here, knee-deep in..

563
00:27:40,825 --> 00:27:43,123
Shit. It's probably my mom.

564
00:27:43,161 --> 00:27:44,458
She's the only one
who has this number.

565
00:27:44,496 --> 00:27:45,622
Bye.

566
00:27:45,664 --> 00:27:48,565
- Hello?
- Annie?

567
00:27:48,600 --> 00:27:50,295
- Hi.
- My God.

568
00:27:50,335 --> 00:27:53,099
An entire week has gone by
and you haven't called me back.

569
00:27:53,138 --> 00:27:55,606
Mom, I told you I was gonna
be so busy with work.

570
00:27:55,640 --> 00:27:57,733
Oh come on.
You can't find five minutes

571
00:27:57,776 --> 00:27:59,300
to call
your worried mother?

572
00:27:59,344 --> 00:28:00,936
How are you, honey?

573
00:28:00,979 --> 00:28:03,004
How's the job?
How's the apartment?

574
00:28:03,048 --> 00:28:06,313
God, everything
is just perfect.

575
00:28:06,351 --> 00:28:08,979
I mean, the job
is a dream.

576
00:28:09,020 --> 00:28:11,454
A little challenging.
So rewarding though.

577
00:28:11,489 --> 00:28:14,583
And the apartment is
just incredible.

578
00:28:14,626 --> 00:28:17,754
- Yeah?
- And my roommate could not be nicer.

579
00:28:17,796 --> 00:28:19,161
Nanny, in the morning,

580
00:28:19,197 --> 00:28:21,028
I need you to stop at Tiffany's
and pick up Mr. X's watch.

581
00:28:21,066 --> 00:28:23,227
Then I need you to Xerox
the recommendation letters

582
00:28:23,268 --> 00:28:25,031
for Grayer's Collegiate
application.

583
00:28:25,070 --> 00:28:28,198
Also, I was thinking, we should
introduce French food into his diet.

584
00:28:28,239 --> 00:28:30,673
It might enhance his study
of the language. So tomorrow night,

585
00:28:30,709 --> 00:28:33,610
why don't you make him
coquilles St. Jacques for dinner, hmm?

586
00:28:33,645 --> 00:28:35,738
- Annie?
- Dry cleaning.

587
00:28:35,780 --> 00:28:38,772
Who was that,
your roommate?

588
00:28:38,817 --> 00:28:41,115
Mom, I have to go.
I have some work stuff to take care of.

589
00:28:41,152 --> 00:28:43,677
Wait a minute.
I want to make a plan to visit.

590
00:28:43,722 --> 00:28:45,781
Ann..

591
00:29:02,807 --> 00:29:05,776
Hi, ladies.

592
00:29:05,810 --> 00:29:08,802
So I took Madison to
the doctor this morning.

593
00:29:08,847 --> 00:29:10,815
She had grown three
inches in six months.

594
00:29:10,849 --> 00:29:13,249
You take her to
the doctor too?

595
00:29:13,284 --> 00:29:16,344
Darling, I do everything.
My job is a type C.

596
00:29:16,387 --> 00:29:18,651
- Mmm.
- Type C? What's type C?

597
00:29:18,690 --> 00:29:21,591
Oh Jesus.
Okay, newbie.

598
00:29:21,626 --> 00:29:23,924
Pay attention, honey.
Basically,

599
00:29:23,962 --> 00:29:26,897
there's three types of nanny gigs.
Okay, type A,

600
00:29:26,931 --> 00:29:30,731
you provide "couple time"
a few nights a week

601
00:29:30,769 --> 00:29:33,829
for women who work all day
and parent at night.

602
00:29:33,872 --> 00:29:35,999
Type B, you provide

603
00:29:36,040 --> 00:29:38,634
"sanity time,"
every afternoon, right,

604
00:29:38,676 --> 00:29:41,474
to a woman who mothers in
the mornings and the evenings.

605
00:29:41,513 --> 00:29:43,640
And type C,
the most common,

606
00:29:43,681 --> 00:29:46,411
you provide 24-7
"me time"

607
00:29:46,451 --> 00:29:49,511
to the woman who neither
works nor mothers.

608
00:29:49,554 --> 00:29:52,148
So, which one are you?

609
00:29:52,190 --> 00:29:54,090
I am type C,

610
00:29:54,125 --> 00:29:57,458
no question.
Although when I started I had no idea.

611
00:29:57,495 --> 00:30:01,295
I thought it would be
a kind of fun and easy job.

612
00:30:01,332 --> 00:30:03,892
You'd think
a college graduate

613
00:30:03,935 --> 00:30:06,563
would choose a job
a little more wisely.

614
00:30:06,604 --> 00:30:09,368
Actually, this job
kind of chose me.

615
00:30:09,407 --> 00:30:12,342
Chose you?

616
00:30:12,377 --> 00:30:15,505
Please, child.
I left my country

617
00:30:15,547 --> 00:30:18,778
because I thought I could give my boy
and my sick mother a better life.

618
00:30:18,817 --> 00:30:22,446
I was supposed to be here
two or three years tops.

619
00:30:22,487 --> 00:30:25,047
And while I've been raising
these strangers' children,

620
00:30:25,089 --> 00:30:29,287
my own child has grown up
without a mother.

621
00:30:29,327 --> 00:30:31,420
That's how this job
chose me.

622
00:30:41,372 --> 00:30:44,273
Half a tablespoon
of tarragon.

623
00:30:49,581 --> 00:30:51,845
That's dried.
I like fresh.

624
00:30:51,883 --> 00:30:55,375
Well, you know what?
Dried's all we got, okay, kiddo?

625
00:30:55,420 --> 00:30:58,253
I hate coquilles dry.
I want sushi.

626
00:30:58,289 --> 00:31:00,849
Well, then tell your mother
you want to learn Japanese.

627
00:31:00,892 --> 00:31:02,154
Mmm!

628
00:31:02,193 --> 00:31:04,093
Okay.

629
00:31:09,367 --> 00:31:12,029
Ah!

630
00:31:12,070 --> 00:31:16,006
I'm telling Mommy.
You're in trouble.

631
00:31:16,040 --> 00:31:18,201
Okay.

632
00:31:19,911 --> 00:31:22,880
That's it.

633
00:31:26,618 --> 00:31:29,644
No, Mommy says they're full
of high-fructose corn syrup.

634
00:31:29,687 --> 00:31:32,281
Well, what mommy doesn't know
won't hurt her, okay, Mr. Tattletale?

635
00:31:32,323 --> 00:31:34,917
Eat it.
Go on.

636
00:31:34,959 --> 00:31:36,950
Right out of the jar.

637
00:31:49,908 --> 00:31:52,240
It's okay.

638
00:31:53,811 --> 00:31:55,244
- Mmm.
- Mmm.

639
00:31:55,280 --> 00:31:57,805
- It's yummy, isn't it?
- This is fun.

640
00:31:57,849 --> 00:32:01,182
Yeah?
This is fun. This is fun.

641
00:32:01,219 --> 00:32:05,485
And this fun meal has to
be our little secret, okay?

642
00:32:05,523 --> 00:32:07,491
Okay.

643
00:32:07,525 --> 00:32:08,719
Okay.

644
00:32:11,763 --> 00:32:13,526
Hey, you know, we can do
lots of fun things.

645
00:32:13,564 --> 00:32:16,124
We just have to be friends
and we have to trust each other.

646
00:32:16,167 --> 00:32:18,328
- Okay?
- Mmm-hmm.

647
00:32:20,571 --> 00:32:23,301
Maybe you should have
a secret name too?

648
00:32:23,341 --> 00:32:25,673
- You want a secret name?
- Yeah, I want a secret name.

649
00:32:25,710 --> 00:32:27,837
Okay.

650
00:32:27,879 --> 00:32:30,609
How about Sponge Bob?

651
00:32:30,648 --> 00:32:32,275
- No, silly.
- No?

652
00:32:33,952 --> 00:32:37,752
All right, what about..
what about Grover?

653
00:32:37,789 --> 00:32:39,518
Grover,
I love Grover.

654
00:32:39,557 --> 00:32:43,084
You do?
All right. Grover it is.

655
00:32:47,298 --> 00:32:49,766
Where's my little munchkin?

656
00:32:49,801 --> 00:32:51,530
- Daddy! Daddy's home.
- Huh?

657
00:32:51,569 --> 00:32:55,562
- Yay, Daddy. Daddy's home.
- I hear him, I hear him.

658
00:32:55,606 --> 00:32:57,836
- Daddy!
- Oh, there he is!

659
00:32:57,875 --> 00:32:59,809
Oh my goodness, I'm sorry.
Are you a little monster?

660
00:32:59,844 --> 00:33:01,675
Remember what happens
to little monsters?

661
00:33:01,713 --> 00:33:03,010
- Come here for a minute.
- No, Daddy!

662
00:33:03,047 --> 00:33:05,447
You remember?
What's wrong with you?

663
00:33:05,483 --> 00:33:07,075
- Daddy!
- Come here for a minute.

664
00:33:07,118 --> 00:33:09,746
You get viciously tickled.
You remember that?

665
00:33:09,787 --> 00:33:11,186
- Daddy, stop it.
- Huh? Hey.

666
00:33:11,222 --> 00:33:12,951
- You my little superstar?
- Yeah.

667
00:33:12,991 --> 00:33:15,289
Are you? Are you gonna
take over the world?

668
00:33:15,326 --> 00:33:17,419
Come on, answer me.
You gonna take over the world?

669
00:33:17,462 --> 00:33:19,453
- Yes.
- And when are you gonna do it?

670
00:33:19,497 --> 00:33:21,692
- Next year.
- Next year's not soon enough.

671
00:33:21,733 --> 00:33:24,793
Well, you must be Mr. X.
I'm the new nanny.

672
00:33:24,836 --> 00:33:27,327
Yeah. Keep him
quiet tonight, will you?

673
00:33:27,372 --> 00:33:29,033
I've got a merger
I'm working on.

674
00:33:29,073 --> 00:33:30,734
I don't get some
decent shut-eye tonight,

675
00:33:30,775 --> 00:33:32,470
somebody around here's
gonna be accountable.

676
00:33:32,510 --> 00:33:34,273
Daddy, come see
my dinosaur!

677
00:33:34,312 --> 00:33:36,837
- Daddy's got work to do, buddy.
- Please?

678
00:33:41,419 --> 00:33:44,513
Hey, Grayer, don't..
don't be sad. It's okay.

679
00:33:44,555 --> 00:33:47,649
Daddy's just tired.

680
00:33:49,093 --> 00:33:51,152
Grover.

681
00:33:53,564 --> 00:33:56,158
Hey, you want to
finish our fun meal?

682
00:33:56,200 --> 00:33:59,226
Come on!

683
00:33:59,270 --> 00:34:01,238
Yeah.

684
00:34:03,174 --> 00:34:05,438
# Frère Jacques #

685
00:34:05,476 --> 00:34:07,171
# Frère Jacques #

686
00:34:07,211 --> 00:34:10,840
# Dormez vous,
dormez vous #

687
00:34:10,882 --> 00:34:14,443
# Sonnez les matinee,
sonnez les matinee. #

688
00:34:14,485 --> 00:34:16,180
Nanny?

689
00:34:16,220 --> 00:34:17,551
Yeah, Grover?

690
00:34:19,824 --> 00:34:22,918
You'll never leave me
like Bertie, will you?

691
00:34:27,498 --> 00:34:30,365
- Grover, you know I..
- Promise?

692
00:34:33,838 --> 00:34:37,365
I'm not going anywhere.
You know that, right, honey?

693
00:34:40,578 --> 00:34:42,739
Right, Grove?

694
00:34:58,062 --> 00:35:00,121
# Oh beautiful.. #

695
00:35:00,198 --> 00:35:01,927
Dear Nanny,

696
00:35:01,966 --> 00:35:04,594
please remember that
today is the 4th of July family party

697
00:35:04,635 --> 00:35:06,296
at Mr. X's office.

698
00:35:06,337 --> 00:35:09,465
It probably slipped your mind
that costumes are required,

699
00:35:09,507 --> 00:35:12,704
so I took it upon myself
to have some delivered.

700
00:35:12,743 --> 00:35:15,712
- This is itchy.
- I know, sweetheart.

701
00:35:15,746 --> 00:35:18,442
Why do we have to
dress up?

702
00:35:18,483 --> 00:35:20,474
Freedom, Grove.

703
00:35:20,518 --> 00:35:23,078
It's all in the name
of freedom.

704
00:35:23,121 --> 00:35:25,146
Hey, guys.

705
00:35:25,189 --> 00:35:27,555
- Who is that?
- That's the nanny, dear.

706
00:35:27,592 --> 00:35:30,152
- You've met her.
- What happened to Louisa?

707
00:35:31,629 --> 00:35:34,757
That was two nannies
ago, silly.

708
00:35:34,799 --> 00:35:38,291
- Yeah.
- Daddy, I'm George Washington.

709
00:35:38,336 --> 00:35:39,894
- Okay.
- Tickle me.

710
00:35:39,937 --> 00:35:42,030
No, I understand that,
Dan, because the bastard's selling low.

711
00:35:42,073 --> 00:35:44,041
- Please!
- Grayer, come on, buddy.

712
00:35:44,075 --> 00:35:46,066
Cut it out, sit down.

713
00:35:46,110 --> 00:35:48,544
- Yes yes, we're coming.
- No, it's just my kid.

714
00:35:48,579 --> 00:35:50,206
- We're coming.
- Right.

715
00:35:50,248 --> 00:35:52,375
- Well no, that's what I was thinking..
- You want me to call..

716
00:35:52,416 --> 00:35:54,976
Where's my card! Daddy!
- Your what?

717
00:35:55,019 --> 00:35:57,817
Where's my card!
Oh, I wanna go home!

718
00:35:57,855 --> 00:35:59,618
Hey, smile, Grove.
We're gonna go to a party.

719
00:35:59,657 --> 00:36:02,717
That's not my card.
Where's my card?

720
00:36:02,760 --> 00:36:04,557
Would you get off that phone

721
00:36:04,595 --> 00:36:06,825
and tell the nanny to
give him his damn card?

722
00:36:06,864 --> 00:36:09,731
Nanny?
Turn the car around.

723
00:36:09,767 --> 00:36:11,962
- Talk to the nanny, please.
- Nanny, go back and get the card.

724
00:36:12,003 --> 00:36:14,528
Hold the elevator!

725
00:36:20,778 --> 00:36:22,905
I'm sorry.

726
00:36:22,947 --> 00:36:25,973
It's okay, don't be.
At least I'm fully dressed this time.

727
00:36:26,017 --> 00:36:28,076
So..

728
00:36:29,787 --> 00:36:31,448
I'm so sorry.
It's not funny.

729
00:36:31,489 --> 00:36:34,083
I don't mean to be laughing.

730
00:36:34,125 --> 00:36:36,218
You look very
patriotic.

731
00:36:36,260 --> 00:36:37,989
- Yeah.
- Let me hit your floor.

732
00:36:38,029 --> 00:36:39,496
Oh, that's okay.
I got it.

733
00:36:39,530 --> 00:36:42,431
Didn't grow up with the staff
doing everything for me,

734
00:36:42,466 --> 00:36:44,866
- so..
- Neither did I.

735
00:36:46,337 --> 00:36:48,430
Really? You must have had
it really rough then.

736
00:36:48,472 --> 00:36:52,238
Okay, well, I'm glad
to give you a good laugh.

737
00:37:04,822 --> 00:37:07,882
My husband and I are
taking our second honeymoon

738
00:37:07,925 --> 00:37:09,984
in Provence.

739
00:37:11,796 --> 00:37:13,923
# When I dance they
call me Macarena #

740
00:37:13,965 --> 00:37:16,365
# And the boys,
they say that I'm buena #

741
00:37:16,400 --> 00:37:18,732
# They all want me,
they can't have me #

742
00:37:18,769 --> 00:37:21,294
# So they all come
and dance beside me #

743
00:37:21,339 --> 00:37:23,466
# Move with me,
jam with me.. #

744
00:37:25,343 --> 00:37:27,709
I'm looking for Mr. X.
Have you seen him?

745
00:37:27,745 --> 00:37:29,770
No, sorry.

746
00:37:29,814 --> 00:37:31,805
Wouldn't know him if I did.

747
00:37:31,849 --> 00:37:34,181
# Macarena,
hey, Macarena.. #

748
00:37:34,218 --> 00:37:37,244
Grove, come on. What is wrong?
Why won't you shake your booty?

749
00:37:37,288 --> 00:37:39,279
'Cause I have to
make a doodie.

750
00:37:39,323 --> 00:37:41,348
Oh.
Come on.

751
00:37:51,535 --> 00:37:53,867
Hey, Grover, I think
the bathroom's the other way.

752
00:37:53,904 --> 00:37:56,338
- My daddy has one in his office.
- Yeah?

753
00:37:56,374 --> 00:37:58,808
- I wanna go to my daddy's bathroom.
- Okay.

754
00:38:05,616 --> 00:38:08,483
- Oh.
- Why is Daddy tickling that lady?

755
00:38:08,519 --> 00:38:10,316
I'm sorry.

756
00:38:10,354 --> 00:38:12,515
Grayer just had to use
the bathroom.

757
00:38:14,458 --> 00:38:16,926
So use it already.

758
00:38:18,829 --> 00:38:21,627
Hello, Grayer.
Remember me?

759
00:38:21,666 --> 00:38:23,634
I work with your daddy
in the Chicago office.

760
00:38:23,668 --> 00:38:26,501
Let go.
I have to make a doodie.

761
00:38:26,537 --> 00:38:27,868
Oh.

762
00:38:32,643 --> 00:38:35,976
So, you must
be the nanny.

763
00:38:36,013 --> 00:38:39,414
Uh, yes, I..

764
00:38:39,450 --> 00:38:43,386
I'll get out of your..
I'll wait in the hall.

765
00:38:46,891 --> 00:38:48,518
So sorry.

766
00:38:55,733 --> 00:38:57,792
Grayer, hurry up.
Your mom's coming.

767
00:38:57,835 --> 00:39:01,066
Sweetie, did Grayer hear
from the waiting-list committee yet?

768
00:39:01,105 --> 00:39:02,868
No, why?

769
00:39:02,907 --> 00:39:04,772
Oh, I'm sure it
doesn't mean anything,

770
00:39:04,809 --> 00:39:06,538
but the Bairds did
and Darwin got in.

771
00:39:10,981 --> 00:39:14,417
Please don't say anything about
Collegiate or Darwin to my husband.

772
00:39:14,452 --> 00:39:16,443
Sure.

773
00:39:19,857 --> 00:39:22,325
- Oh, hi, pumpkin.
- There you are.

774
00:39:22,360 --> 00:39:24,760
Oh, you've met before
in Chicago, right?

775
00:39:24,795 --> 00:39:26,228
- Yes, hello.
- Lovely to see you.

776
00:39:26,263 --> 00:39:28,356
- Nice to see you as well.
- Excuse me. Thanks again.

777
00:39:28,399 --> 00:39:30,094
- Mm-hm.
- Where have you been?

778
00:39:30,134 --> 00:39:31,897
Making calls.
Where's the chow?

779
00:39:31,936 --> 00:39:33,870
- The entire time?
- Yeah.

780
00:39:38,909 --> 00:39:42,310
Male monogamy remains an elusive,

781
00:39:42,346 --> 00:39:44,576
yet much
mythologized practice

782
00:39:44,615 --> 00:39:46,242
throughout the world.

783
00:39:46,283 --> 00:39:48,751
In many Bedouin tribes,

784
00:39:48,786 --> 00:39:52,483
powerful men are encouraged
to take multiple wives.

785
00:39:53,724 --> 00:39:55,624
In contemporary France,

786
00:39:55,659 --> 00:39:57,593
mistresses are de rigueur

787
00:39:57,628 --> 00:40:00,119
and quietly tolerated.

788
00:40:00,164 --> 00:40:02,792
But for the women
of the Upper East Side,

789
00:40:02,833 --> 00:40:06,860
adultery is
pathologically ignored.

790
00:40:08,572 --> 00:40:11,541
Nobody warned me we were going
to have a therapy session.

791
00:40:11,609 --> 00:40:14,476
It's just that I didn't
see you at all at the party.

792
00:40:14,512 --> 00:40:17,481
Well, I was trying to
sneak in a little work.

793
00:40:17,515 --> 00:40:20,211
Okay? Forgive me
for making a living.

794
00:40:20,251 --> 00:40:23,846
But everybody else
was participating.

795
00:40:23,888 --> 00:40:28,291
Everybody else doesn't pull
down what I do every year.

796
00:40:28,325 --> 00:40:31,192
I had my family there
and I was present and accounted for.

797
00:40:31,228 --> 00:40:34,220
So now, you know, I would really
appreciate a moment of peace and quiet.

798
00:40:34,265 --> 00:40:35,789
'Cause frankly,
I'm exhausted.

799
00:40:38,135 --> 00:40:40,330
Bonjour, Pierre.

800
00:40:40,371 --> 00:40:42,430
Bonjour.

801
00:40:42,473 --> 00:40:45,772
Comment allez-vous?

802
00:40:48,879 --> 00:40:50,176
Bien, merci.

803
00:40:50,214 --> 00:40:52,011
Et vous?

804
00:40:52,049 --> 00:40:55,610
Ah, comme ci comme ça.

805
00:40:59,223 --> 00:41:01,282
Okay, I got
a great idea.

806
00:41:01,325 --> 00:41:05,261
Let's pretend that
we're in a cave.

807
00:41:05,296 --> 00:41:07,696
You know what, Nanny?

808
00:41:07,731 --> 00:41:09,358
What, Grove?

809
00:41:09,400 --> 00:41:11,834
I love you best.

810
00:41:13,904 --> 00:41:16,873
The other nannies
had warned me about this very moment,

811
00:41:16,907 --> 00:41:18,898
the moment when you'll
be tempted to break

812
00:41:18,943 --> 00:41:20,911
the cardinal rule
of nannydom.

813
00:41:20,945 --> 00:41:25,848
And yet, staring into those big,
sad, searching eyes,

814
00:41:25,883 --> 00:41:28,875
I simply couldn't resist.

815
00:41:28,919 --> 00:41:31,285
I love you too, Grove.

816
00:41:33,324 --> 00:41:37,727
Three little words made leaving
this job 1,000 times harder.

817
00:41:37,761 --> 00:41:39,524
Hear a thing I have to say!

818
00:41:39,563 --> 00:41:42,191
I know that you work hard.
I just think

819
00:41:42,233 --> 00:41:46,636
that if.. if we're
gonna have more children..

820
00:41:46,670 --> 00:41:49,730
Well, maybe you should
focus on the one you already have.

821
00:41:49,773 --> 00:41:52,867
'Cause you can barely
handle him as it is.

822
00:41:54,378 --> 00:41:56,403
Why are you
so cruel to me?

823
00:41:56,447 --> 00:41:58,244
- Why?
- Why are you so cruel?

824
00:41:58,282 --> 00:42:00,944
Because I cannot take
the additional pressure.

825
00:42:00,985 --> 00:42:04,318
You know something? I think that
I am going to go out to Chicago

826
00:42:04,355 --> 00:42:06,823
- until this merger is finished.
- Will you stop it, please?

827
00:42:06,857 --> 00:42:09,690
And I certainly hope that
you're in a better mood..

828
00:42:09,727 --> 00:42:13,026
- Please, stop it.
..when I come back. All right?

829
00:42:13,063 --> 00:42:15,224
If I come back!

830
00:42:28,779 --> 00:42:32,840
Nanny, this is yours,
is it not?

831
00:42:38,055 --> 00:42:41,115
Uh.. no, I..

832
00:42:41,158 --> 00:42:42,955
no, I don't know
what that is.

833
00:42:42,993 --> 00:42:46,053
It was in our laundry.

834
00:42:46,096 --> 00:42:49,190
It is not mine,
it is not Mr. X's,

835
00:42:49,233 --> 00:42:51,895
so it has to be yours,
right?

836
00:42:53,404 --> 00:42:56,032
Right?

837
00:42:56,073 --> 00:42:58,064
Yes, it's mine.

838
00:43:00,110 --> 00:43:03,238
Please don't leave your personal items
lying around the house again.

839
00:43:05,015 --> 00:43:06,949
I.. I won't.

840
00:43:06,984 --> 00:43:09,646
- I promise. I'm sorry.
- Apology accepted.

841
00:43:19,430 --> 00:43:21,921
I don't mean..

842
00:43:21,966 --> 00:43:24,833
to be a control freak.

843
00:43:28,539 --> 00:43:33,408
It's.. it's just that when Mr. X
is in the middle of a big deal,

844
00:43:33,444 --> 00:43:35,708
it can be very hard on me.

845
00:43:38,582 --> 00:43:40,743
I understand.

846
00:43:52,696 --> 00:43:55,631
How is Grayer doing?

847
00:43:55,666 --> 00:43:57,827
Grayer?

848
00:43:57,868 --> 00:44:00,701
He's.. he's fine.

849
00:44:00,738 --> 00:44:03,263
He's great.

850
00:44:03,307 --> 00:44:05,172
That's good to hear.

851
00:44:05,209 --> 00:44:08,770
He really is
a wonderful child, isn't he?

852
00:44:12,850 --> 00:44:15,250
He's the best.

853
00:44:15,285 --> 00:44:18,220
He's..
he's such a sweet..

854
00:44:18,255 --> 00:44:20,382
Okay, good night then.

855
00:44:26,530 --> 00:44:28,657
Dear Nanny, I know it's Sunday

856
00:44:28,699 --> 00:44:30,223
and you requested
a day off,

857
00:44:30,267 --> 00:44:32,326
but I desperately need
to sleep in.

858
00:44:32,369 --> 00:44:34,599
I have a very long
afternoon today

859
00:44:34,638 --> 00:44:36,731
tasting caterers
for our benefit,

860
00:44:36,774 --> 00:44:39,436
"Conga for the Congo."
Please don't wake me

861
00:44:39,476 --> 00:44:41,876
unless Mr. X calls
from Chicago.

862
00:44:41,912 --> 00:44:43,504
And most importantly,

863
00:44:43,547 --> 00:44:46,015
find a way to
keep the boy quiet.

864
00:44:46,050 --> 00:44:48,177
Why don't they just
muzzle the kid already?

865
00:44:48,218 --> 00:44:49,685
What's a muzzle?

866
00:44:49,720 --> 00:44:53,417
Scrambled for you
and Cheerios for the boy.

867
00:44:53,457 --> 00:44:55,755
Mommy doesn't allow me
to eat sugar cereal.

868
00:44:55,793 --> 00:44:57,761
Cheerios are sugar-free.

869
00:44:57,795 --> 00:45:00,457
Low in sugar isn't
the same as sugar-free.

870
00:45:00,497 --> 00:45:02,055
Grover, just eat it.

871
00:45:05,369 --> 00:45:06,927
Is that caffeinated?

872
00:45:06,970 --> 00:45:08,995
Mommy doesn't
use caffeine.

873
00:45:09,039 --> 00:45:11,337
That's because Mommy
sleeps till noon.

874
00:45:11,375 --> 00:45:13,673
Perhaps it might be a nice morning

875
00:45:13,711 --> 00:45:15,906
to do something
educational with Grayer,

876
00:45:15,946 --> 00:45:17,971
like the Pissarro show
at the Guggenheim.

877
00:45:18,015 --> 00:45:20,848
Mommy said you're supposed to take
me to her favorite museum,

878
00:45:20,884 --> 00:45:22,249
the "Guggyheiny."

879
00:45:22,286 --> 00:45:24,015
Well, since today was
supposed to be my day off,

880
00:45:24,054 --> 00:45:26,614
we're gonna go to my favorite,
the Museum of Natural History.

881
00:45:26,657 --> 00:45:28,921
- Isn't that on the West Side?
- Yeah, so?

882
00:45:28,959 --> 00:45:31,951
I'm not allowed to go on the West Side.
That's a rule.

883
00:45:31,995 --> 00:45:35,692
Well, today just happens to
be break-the-rules day.

884
00:45:35,733 --> 00:45:37,894
Oh.

885
00:45:45,109 --> 00:45:47,475
Hi.
Two please.

886
00:46:18,375 --> 00:46:20,775
Hey, you know what
the biggest word in America is?

887
00:46:20,811 --> 00:46:21,937
What?

888
00:46:21,979 --> 00:46:25,142
Anti..
antidisestablishmentarianism.

889
00:46:25,182 --> 00:46:27,343
Hey, that's pretty good,
Grove.

890
00:46:27,384 --> 00:46:29,249
Actually, I know
a longer word.

891
00:46:29,286 --> 00:46:31,754
- There is no longer word.
- Yes, there is.

892
00:46:31,789 --> 00:46:34,280
Supercalifragilistic-
expialidocious.

893
00:46:34,324 --> 00:46:36,519
Wow.
What does that mean?

894
00:46:36,560 --> 00:46:39,586
Come on inside.
Let me show you.

895
00:46:39,630 --> 00:46:42,861
"The apatosaurus, formerly
known as the brontosaurus,

896
00:46:42,900 --> 00:46:45,164
is from a family of
enormous herbivores."

897
00:46:45,202 --> 00:46:47,602
Herbivores means
vegetarian.

898
00:46:47,638 --> 00:46:49,435
Like Mommy,
you know?

899
00:46:49,473 --> 00:46:51,498
What's that over there?

900
00:46:54,344 --> 00:46:56,869
That is the T-rex.

901
00:46:56,914 --> 00:46:59,508
- Is that one like Mommy too?
- Hmm.

902
00:46:59,550 --> 00:47:02,348
I wish my ancestors
made totem poles.

903
00:47:02,386 --> 00:47:04,286
Well, they did.
That one looks just like you.

904
00:47:04,321 --> 00:47:05,481
It does.

905
00:47:05,522 --> 00:47:06,819
Well, that guy has
a big..

906
00:47:06,857 --> 00:47:09,052
It's hanging.

907
00:47:13,363 --> 00:47:15,331
Cool.
What are they?

908
00:47:15,365 --> 00:47:16,957
They're a Matis
family.

909
00:47:17,000 --> 00:47:18,968
They live in
the Amazon.

910
00:47:19,002 --> 00:47:21,368
Which one's the nanny?

911
00:47:21,405 --> 00:47:25,466
She has the day off. Things are
different in that part of the world.

912
00:47:27,177 --> 00:47:29,407
And Nanny, one last thing

913
00:47:29,446 --> 00:47:32,108
before you take
the rest of the day off:

914
00:47:32,149 --> 00:47:35,312
Do you think you could
manage a quick shop for me?

915
00:47:39,556 --> 00:47:41,524
- I'll help.
- No, it's okay, Grayer.

916
00:47:41,558 --> 00:47:43,992
Don't.
Grayer, don't.. don't!

917
00:47:44,027 --> 00:47:45,722
God!

918
00:47:45,762 --> 00:47:47,753
Mommy!

919
00:47:47,798 --> 00:47:50,358
What a mess.

920
00:47:50,400 --> 00:47:53,130
Really, Nanny, I don't know
why you didn't leave all this

921
00:47:53,170 --> 00:47:55,263
downstairs with Manuel
to store.

922
00:47:55,305 --> 00:47:58,274
I mean, am I supposed to have this lying
around the apartment till the benefit?

923
00:47:58,308 --> 00:48:01,436
No no no, of course not. I.. I'm gonna
bring it down to him right now.

924
00:48:01,478 --> 00:48:04,106
There's no time now.

925
00:48:04,147 --> 00:48:06,672
I need you to get ready for the Nanny
Conflict Resolution Seminar

926
00:48:06,717 --> 00:48:08,514
at the Parents' Society.

927
00:48:08,552 --> 00:48:11,282
I totally forgot
it was this evening.

928
00:48:11,321 --> 00:48:13,551
Um..

929
00:48:19,162 --> 00:48:21,630
Mrs. X, I..

930
00:48:21,665 --> 00:48:23,826
don't know
if you remember,

931
00:48:23,867 --> 00:48:26,028
but I.. I was supposed
to have the evening off.

932
00:48:26,069 --> 00:48:28,469
And I made plans.

933
00:48:32,075 --> 00:48:34,134
The entire point of
the seminar

934
00:48:34,177 --> 00:48:36,202
is that everybody
brings their nanny.

935
00:48:37,614 --> 00:48:40,082
Are you suggesting
I attend it alone?

936
00:48:40,117 --> 00:48:42,551
Huh-uh. No.

937
00:48:42,586 --> 00:48:44,713
I was just..

938
00:48:44,755 --> 00:48:46,416
I was confused.

939
00:48:46,456 --> 00:48:50,153
So, I will
cancel my plans.

940
00:48:50,193 --> 00:48:52,593
I'd appreciate it.

941
00:48:57,134 --> 00:49:00,729
Does anyone have
an extra diaper I can use?

942
00:49:00,771 --> 00:49:03,501
Stop eating them boogers!

943
00:49:03,540 --> 00:49:06,941
Grayer, no nudity.
Please.

944
00:49:06,977 --> 00:49:09,104
Of course you feel anxiety

945
00:49:09,146 --> 00:49:11,774
when leaving
your kids with strangers.

946
00:49:11,815 --> 00:49:14,079
You're moms.
Okay..

947
00:49:14,117 --> 00:49:16,585
now what I would
love to do

948
00:49:16,620 --> 00:49:18,815
is bring in
the nannies.

949
00:49:18,855 --> 00:49:21,346
Linda, Gillian, would you
mind monitoring the children

950
00:49:21,391 --> 00:49:23,416
so that the nannies can
join us in here?

951
00:49:23,460 --> 00:49:25,928
Okay, listen, I want to see
you all here next week.

952
00:49:25,963 --> 00:49:28,431
The seminar is called
"Sexy Mom, Happy Mom."

953
00:49:28,465 --> 00:49:30,956
It's gonna be
a hot one.

954
00:49:31,001 --> 00:49:32,866
Nannies, we're ready.

955
00:49:32,903 --> 00:49:34,996
Right this way, ladies.

956
00:49:35,038 --> 00:49:37,563
All right, here they are..

957
00:49:37,607 --> 00:49:40,201
the nannies!
Wonderful. Come on in.

958
00:49:40,243 --> 00:49:43,701
Just.. just file against this wall.
Just squeeze in.

959
00:49:43,747 --> 00:49:45,942
But.. but be comfortable.

960
00:49:45,983 --> 00:49:48,747
Terrific.
Now that we're all together,

961
00:49:48,785 --> 00:49:51,618
I think it's time to address
the reason for this seminar:

962
00:49:51,655 --> 00:49:55,455
improving nanny-mom
communication.

963
00:49:55,492 --> 00:49:59,223
To begin, I would like
a mom volunteer

964
00:49:59,262 --> 00:50:01,958
to offer the group
one particular example

965
00:50:01,999 --> 00:50:03,967
of failed communication
with your nanny.

966
00:50:04,001 --> 00:50:05,992
Most of them
barely speak English.

967
00:50:06,036 --> 00:50:08,834
- That's the problem.
- Okay, you.

968
00:50:08,872 --> 00:50:11,636
My nanny keeps on singing
religious songs to Parker

969
00:50:11,675 --> 00:50:14,576
even though I have told her
time and time again that we're agnostic.

970
00:50:14,611 --> 00:50:17,136
And what's worse,
every time I confront her

971
00:50:17,180 --> 00:50:20,308
she flatly denies it,
even after I provided her

972
00:50:20,350 --> 00:50:22,011
with evidence
from the Nanny Cam.

973
00:50:22,052 --> 00:50:25,385
Nanny Cam?
I thought that was an urban myth.

974
00:50:25,422 --> 00:50:27,287
That's my nanny over there.

975
00:50:27,324 --> 00:50:30,316
Will you please ask her
if she's trying to convert my child?

976
00:50:30,360 --> 00:50:34,023
No. Right now we're
just hearing issues.

977
00:50:34,064 --> 00:50:38,023
Okay. Next I would like
to hear from a nanny.

978
00:50:38,068 --> 00:50:40,366
Can I have a nanny
volunteer?

979
00:50:40,404 --> 00:50:42,338
Anyone?

980
00:50:42,372 --> 00:50:43,896
Por favor?

981
00:50:43,940 --> 00:50:47,341
Come on,
don't be shy.

982
00:50:47,377 --> 00:50:50,608
We won't bite.

983
00:50:50,647 --> 00:50:52,842
Okay, how about you,
young lady?

984
00:50:52,883 --> 00:50:54,612
- Me?
- Yeah, you.

985
00:50:54,651 --> 00:50:58,212
Can you share with the group
one particular grievance

986
00:50:58,255 --> 00:51:01,520
that you might have
about your job?

987
00:51:01,558 --> 00:51:03,219
Come on.

988
00:51:03,260 --> 00:51:06,627
No no, I-l..
I love my job.

989
00:51:06,663 --> 00:51:09,689
I do. I feel..
I feel kinda lucky.

990
00:51:09,733 --> 00:51:11,530
Oh, that's very nice,

991
00:51:11,568 --> 00:51:13,798
but neither helpful
nor productive.

992
00:51:13,837 --> 00:51:17,034
So can you please offer
the class something useful? Come on.

993
00:51:18,842 --> 00:51:22,369
- Well..
- Yeah?

994
00:51:22,412 --> 00:51:25,939
It would be nice to
have a night off, I guess.

995
00:51:25,982 --> 00:51:28,007
Uh-huh.

996
00:51:28,051 --> 00:51:31,851
We.. we have been a little
preoccupied with our benefit.

997
00:51:33,523 --> 00:51:35,423
But all she has to do
is ask.

998
00:51:35,459 --> 00:51:38,360
Uh-huh-huh-huh.
See, ladies?

999
00:51:38,395 --> 00:51:40,863
Conflict resolved.

1000
00:51:50,841 --> 00:51:52,934
- I'm taking him.
- Oh no, I can take him.

1001
00:51:52,976 --> 00:51:54,944
- No, it's all right.
- No, I can.. I can take him.

1002
00:51:54,978 --> 00:51:58,470
Nanny, please.
I want you to go out.

1003
00:51:58,515 --> 00:52:01,416
It's only 9:00.
You clearly wanted the evening off.

1004
00:52:01,451 --> 00:52:04,045
No.. no, you must be
exhausted, let me put him to bed.

1005
00:52:04,087 --> 00:52:06,317
We'll manage fine.
Here.

1006
00:52:06,356 --> 00:52:08,347
Have a blast.

1007
00:52:17,167 --> 00:52:19,601
I just don't understand it.

1008
00:52:21,905 --> 00:52:25,272
I.. I just don't understand
how someone can have everything

1009
00:52:25,308 --> 00:52:27,538
and still be..

1010
00:52:27,577 --> 00:52:30,171
so miserable.

1011
00:52:31,515 --> 00:52:33,483
Anyway..

1012
00:52:33,517 --> 00:52:36,953
remember I was telling you
I went to this orientation mixer thingy?

1013
00:52:36,987 --> 00:52:39,615
I met this guy who
likes the same exact..

1014
00:52:39,656 --> 00:52:43,490
It's like she dumps all of her problems
with her husband onto me.

1015
00:52:43,527 --> 00:52:46,496
It's called denial.
Okay, like the river.

1016
00:52:46,530 --> 00:52:49,226
And you obviously have
become her enabler.

1017
00:52:49,266 --> 00:52:51,063
What? What the hell
is that supposed to mean?

1018
00:52:51,101 --> 00:52:53,729
It means, can you stop talking about
this woman for five minutes please?

1019
00:52:53,770 --> 00:52:56,568
Well, I'm sorry I'm boring you, Lynette,
but this is my life right now.

1020
00:52:56,606 --> 00:52:58,904
I have a life too,
in case you haven't noticed.

1021
00:52:58,942 --> 00:53:01,502
And I'm starting to think
you and that lady

1022
00:53:01,545 --> 00:53:03,342
are kindred spirits.

1023
00:53:05,115 --> 00:53:07,811
You know what? NYU should give you
your diploma right now.

1024
00:53:07,851 --> 00:53:09,876
- You've got all the answers.
- Okay okay.

1025
00:53:09,920 --> 00:53:12,388
Okay, let's forget that..
forget that.

1026
00:53:12,422 --> 00:53:15,482
Can we at least try
to have a good time?

1027
00:53:15,525 --> 00:53:17,823
Since you did drag me
above 14th Street.

1028
00:53:17,861 --> 00:53:18,885
Mmh.

1029
00:53:20,664 --> 00:53:22,427
Come on, Annie.
This place,

1030
00:53:22,465 --> 00:53:24,194
you have to admit,
it's..

1031
00:53:24,234 --> 00:53:26,099
hmm, tired.

1032
00:53:26,136 --> 00:53:28,502
Look at these guys
over there.

1033
00:53:28,538 --> 00:53:30,904
They don't have
any piercings,

1034
00:53:30,941 --> 00:53:32,272
no tattoos.
I mean..

1035
00:53:32,309 --> 00:53:33,833
Oh my God.

1036
00:53:33,877 --> 00:53:36,038
- We have to go right now.
- Wha.. why?

1037
00:53:36,079 --> 00:53:39,014
- Wait a minute.
- The guy I told you about is here.

1038
00:53:39,049 --> 00:53:40,539
Harvard Hottie?

1039
00:53:40,584 --> 00:53:43,246
- Mmm.
- Which one? Which one, where?

1040
00:53:43,286 --> 00:53:46,949
Yankees cap, blue shirt,
blue blood.

1041
00:53:46,990 --> 00:53:49,390
Mmm.
He is gorgeous.

1042
00:53:49,426 --> 00:53:50,723
Yeah, okay, let's go.

1043
00:53:50,760 --> 00:53:52,557
No no no, are you out of your mind?
You kidding me?

1044
00:53:52,596 --> 00:53:54,427
No, I'm out of
my league, okay?

1045
00:53:54,464 --> 00:53:55,863
Let's go.

1046
00:53:55,899 --> 00:53:57,730
Oops.

1047
00:53:59,736 --> 00:54:01,294
What the hell
are you doing?

1048
00:54:01,338 --> 00:54:04,398
Oh my God, I know that girl.
Annie!

1049
00:54:04,441 --> 00:54:06,432
Annie!

1050
00:54:06,476 --> 00:54:08,103
Come on, have a drink
with him already.

1051
00:54:08,144 --> 00:54:10,442
I told you, I can't
date on the job.

1052
00:54:10,480 --> 00:54:12,812
Are you gonna use this job as an excuse
for everything or what?

1053
00:54:12,849 --> 00:54:13,941
Say hello
to the nice fella.

1054
00:54:13,984 --> 00:54:16,145
- Hey.
- Guys, this is Annie.

1055
00:54:16,186 --> 00:54:17,778
I don't know your name.
I'm sorry.

1056
00:54:17,821 --> 00:54:19,948
- Oh, Lynette.
- Hi, how are you? Nice to meet you.

1057
00:54:19,990 --> 00:54:22,686
Some buddies from high school..
this is Carter, Jojo,

1058
00:54:22,726 --> 00:54:25,661
- John, Kenny, Reggie.
- Hello.

1059
00:54:25,695 --> 00:54:27,390
- Nice to meet you.
- Sit, grab a chair.

1060
00:54:27,430 --> 00:54:29,625
- Oh no, we can't.
- We'd love to.

1061
00:54:30,634 --> 00:54:32,727
Yeah.

1062
00:54:34,037 --> 00:54:38,030
So, girls, tell us,
how do you know our boy here?

1063
00:54:38,074 --> 00:54:42,170
Oh, I really don't know him.
He's Annie's friend.

1064
00:54:43,847 --> 00:54:46,816
I know him from work.

1065
00:54:46,850 --> 00:54:50,149
Oh yeah?
What kind of work do you do?

1066
00:54:50,186 --> 00:54:52,984
Model?

1067
00:54:53,023 --> 00:54:56,015
- Stewardess?
- Escort?

1068
00:54:57,460 --> 00:54:59,690
She works for someone
in my building.

1069
00:54:59,729 --> 00:55:01,560
Oh.

1070
00:55:01,598 --> 00:55:02,997
Actually, I'm a nanny.

1071
00:55:03,033 --> 00:55:05,797
A nanny?

1072
00:55:05,835 --> 00:55:07,826
Dude!

1073
00:55:07,871 --> 00:55:10,237
You didn't tell us
you knew a nanny.

1074
00:55:10,273 --> 00:55:12,605
That is so porno.

1075
00:55:12,642 --> 00:55:14,337
- Are the moms hot?
- Guys.

1076
00:55:14,377 --> 00:55:17,471
- Are you hot for the dads?
- Are the dads hot for you?

1077
00:55:17,514 --> 00:55:20,074
- Hey, come on.
- You want to know about the dads?

1078
00:55:20,116 --> 00:55:22,778
I'll tell you about
the dads.

1079
00:55:22,819 --> 00:55:24,912
They're chubby, bald,
steak-eating,

1080
00:55:24,954 --> 00:55:26,819
cigar-smoking,
type-A pigs

1081
00:55:26,856 --> 00:55:30,292
who get more turned on by the Bloomberg
Wire than they do by any hot nannies.

1082
00:55:30,327 --> 00:55:34,093
Actually, it's all of you
in about five years.

1083
00:55:34,130 --> 00:55:36,098
Enjoy tonight,

1084
00:55:36,132 --> 00:55:39,067
because your future looks
pretty fucking bleak.

1085
00:55:39,102 --> 00:55:40,729
- Wait.
- God!

1086
00:55:44,607 --> 00:55:47,303
Stupid stupid.

1087
00:55:50,847 --> 00:55:53,441
You have two new messages.

1088
00:55:53,483 --> 00:55:55,713
Hey, Annie, it's me,

1089
00:55:55,752 --> 00:55:58,482
the.. the big jerk
from the bar.

1090
00:55:58,521 --> 00:55:59,988
- What?
- Listen..

1091
00:56:00,023 --> 00:56:01,888
in case you're wondering,
your friend Lynette

1092
00:56:01,925 --> 00:56:03,586
- gave me your home number.
- Ex-friend.

1093
00:56:03,626 --> 00:56:05,423
I obviously owe you
a major apology.

1094
00:56:05,462 --> 00:56:07,726
Please just don't judge me
by my loser friends.

1095
00:56:07,764 --> 00:56:09,391
- Mm-hm.
- They were pretty hammered.

1096
00:56:09,432 --> 00:56:11,559
Anyway, I want you to
give me an opportunity

1097
00:56:11,601 --> 00:56:13,899
to redeem myself
by taking you out.

1098
00:56:13,937 --> 00:56:15,905
And I'm warning you,
I won't take no for an answer.

1099
00:56:15,939 --> 00:56:18,737
I know where you live, so I'll camp out
at your door if I have to.

1100
00:56:18,775 --> 00:56:20,640
You really might as well
just get this over with.

1101
00:56:20,677 --> 00:56:22,304
And if you really hate me
after that..

1102
00:56:22,345 --> 00:56:24,313
I'll.. I'll never
ask you again.

1103
00:56:24,347 --> 00:56:27,111
Okay, I'm sorry to ramble.
If I don't hear from you,

1104
00:56:27,150 --> 00:56:29,209
I'll ride the elevator
till I find you.

1105
00:56:29,252 --> 00:56:30,446
Bye.

1106
00:56:32,655 --> 00:56:34,680
I am so screwed.

1107
00:56:35,925 --> 00:56:37,859
Annie, it's your mother.

1108
00:56:37,894 --> 00:56:41,159
Look, I'm sorry that I didn't
call last night, okay?

1109
00:56:41,197 --> 00:56:43,597
I had a really late night.
But about tonight..

1110
00:56:43,633 --> 00:56:46,932
Okay, you know what?
I don't want to hear it. I'm coming.

1111
00:56:46,970 --> 00:56:48,801
- I am coming.
- All right, fine.

1112
00:56:48,838 --> 00:56:50,703
Fine.. okay, let me..

1113
00:56:50,740 --> 00:56:52,640
let me just call you
after this play date, okay?

1114
00:56:52,675 --> 00:56:54,700
Play date?
What the hell is a play date?

1115
00:56:54,744 --> 00:56:58,737
- Oh shit.
- You said a curse!

1116
00:56:58,782 --> 00:57:02,183
Um, you know, Mom.
A play date..

1117
00:57:02,218 --> 00:57:05,779
it's the meeting of
preliminary investment schedules.

1118
00:57:05,822 --> 00:57:08,518
Look, I'll call you
later, okay?

1119
00:57:08,558 --> 00:57:11,618
All right. Bye.

1120
00:57:13,997 --> 00:57:16,056
Who lives here?

1121
00:57:16,099 --> 00:57:18,294
Some kid named Jefferson.

1122
00:57:18,334 --> 00:57:21,064
Your mom found him
with the Park Avenue play-date service.

1123
00:57:21,104 --> 00:57:22,901
Hi, y'all.

1124
00:57:22,972 --> 00:57:25,964
I'm Jefferson's
mama Tanya.

1125
00:57:26,009 --> 00:57:27,340
Come on in.

1126
00:57:27,377 --> 00:57:30,107
We're baking a cake.

1127
00:57:30,146 --> 00:57:31,909
Oh my God.

1128
00:57:31,948 --> 00:57:34,610
Come on, y'all!

1129
00:57:34,651 --> 00:57:36,846
I pretend to be
Jefferson's nanny.

1130
00:57:36,886 --> 00:57:40,083
But I was really hired
to watch her.

1131
00:57:40,123 --> 00:57:42,250
Yoo-hooo!

1132
00:57:42,292 --> 00:57:44,988
And this is what she's
like after Betty Ford.

1133
00:57:45,028 --> 00:57:47,758
- Oh!
- Doesn't her husband care?

1134
00:57:47,797 --> 00:57:51,324
- Whoo!
- He's 75. She's an ex-showgirl.

1135
00:57:51,367 --> 00:57:54,768
He's not complaining
about anything.

1136
00:57:54,804 --> 00:57:56,294
Frosting fun!
Yay!

1137
00:57:58,274 --> 00:58:01,675
I want to come here every day.

1138
00:58:03,379 --> 00:58:05,244
Hey.

1139
00:58:07,884 --> 00:58:09,408
What are you doing here?

1140
00:58:11,421 --> 00:58:13,514
And what is all over you?

1141
00:58:13,556 --> 00:58:17,356
Annie, will you tell me
what the hell is going on?

1142
00:58:17,393 --> 00:58:20,089
All right, listen up, people.
This is my apartment.

1143
00:58:20,129 --> 00:58:22,893
And my roommate Lisa
is away

1144
00:58:22,932 --> 00:58:24,900
on.. on business.

1145
00:58:24,934 --> 00:58:28,131
You are.. oh,
just visiting.

1146
00:58:28,171 --> 00:58:30,469
- He is..
- Lynette's new boyfriend.

1147
00:58:30,507 --> 00:58:32,134
- Fine.
- I love your friends.

1148
00:58:32,175 --> 00:58:33,904
What twisted game
are we playing here?

1149
00:58:33,943 --> 00:58:36,241
We're playing the
my-mom-is-coming-over-

1150
00:58:36,279 --> 00:58:38,474
and-if-she-finds-out-I'm-a-nanny-
then-I'm-screwed game.

1151
00:58:38,515 --> 00:58:41,177
I love it. Hey, should I whip up
a fondue for Mom?

1152
00:58:41,217 --> 00:58:43,344
Um, well, you know what?
If you're gonna play it straight,

1153
00:58:43,386 --> 00:58:45,081
I would make it meatloaf.
I'm gonna borrow this.

1154
00:58:45,121 --> 00:58:47,248
That's my dress.
You can't borrow that dress.

1155
00:58:47,290 --> 00:58:49,155
It's a terrible dress.

1156
00:58:49,192 --> 00:58:51,353
Fondue?
Go get my dress.

1157
00:58:52,929 --> 00:58:56,194
Oh boy, Calvin.
Thank you so much. That looks delicious.

1158
00:58:56,232 --> 00:59:00,293
It's so festively
presented too.

1159
00:59:01,971 --> 00:59:06,738
So, how did you
and Lynette meet?

1160
00:59:07,911 --> 00:59:11,711
Annie's roommate Lisa
introduced us.

1161
00:59:11,748 --> 00:59:14,376
It's a shame
she's not here.

1162
00:59:14,417 --> 00:59:16,817
I used to
date her too.

1163
00:59:16,853 --> 00:59:19,413
Really?

1164
00:59:19,455 --> 00:59:22,356
So..

1165
00:59:22,392 --> 00:59:24,622
don't you just love
Annie's new place?

1166
00:59:24,661 --> 00:59:27,095
- Mm-hm.
- We do.

1167
00:59:27,130 --> 00:59:29,325
We're here all the time.

1168
00:59:29,365 --> 00:59:32,732
Yeah, I think it's very..
very interesting.

1169
00:59:32,769 --> 00:59:34,760
- It's a little small, but..
- Mmm.

1170
00:59:34,804 --> 00:59:37,329
It's a fine
steppingstone, honey.

1171
00:59:39,208 --> 00:59:41,972
It's work.
I'll take that.

1172
00:59:44,447 --> 00:59:47,814
Well, certainly
keeping her busy.

1173
00:59:47,850 --> 00:59:49,112
- Very busy.
- Mm-hm.

1174
00:59:49,152 --> 00:59:50,847
- Busy bee.
- Relentlessly.

1175
00:59:50,887 --> 00:59:53,355
- Round the clock.
- Hello?

1176
00:59:53,389 --> 00:59:56,324
This isn't a brontosaurus.
You don't know anything.

1177
00:59:56,359 --> 00:59:59,658
Oh, Grayer!
Please!

1178
00:59:59,696 --> 01:00:02,722
It is yoga hour
and Mommy's on the phone.

1179
01:00:02,765 --> 01:00:03,857
Hello?

1180
01:00:03,900 --> 01:00:05,834
Yes, hi.
It's me.

1181
01:00:05,868 --> 01:00:08,098
I.. I know that I agreed
to let you

1182
01:00:08,137 --> 01:00:10,332
visit your grandmother in
the hospital tonight,

1183
01:00:10,373 --> 01:00:13,672
but I feel I need to remind you
that tomorrow is Grayer's birthday.

1184
01:00:13,710 --> 01:00:16,702
What? How can that be?
His party isn't until next month.

1185
01:00:16,746 --> 01:00:18,543
Well, we scheduled it
that way on purpose

1186
01:00:18,581 --> 01:00:21,106
because the party planner
I wanted wasn't available.

1187
01:00:21,150 --> 01:00:23,778
Neither was my husband.
But as it turns out,

1188
01:00:23,820 --> 01:00:26,220
Mr. X is coming home
for two days from Chicago,

1189
01:00:26,255 --> 01:00:29,156
so we're planning a small
family celebration.

1190
01:00:29,192 --> 01:00:31,854
Oh that's lovely.
Grayer couldn't ask for a better gift.

1191
01:00:31,894 --> 01:00:34,658
And then afterwards,
we'll all head over to the Carlyle

1192
01:00:34,697 --> 01:00:36,790
for a more formal
affair with friends.

1193
01:00:36,833 --> 01:00:39,131
Obviously, I do expect
you to attend.

1194
01:00:39,168 --> 01:00:40,692
Okay, all right.

1195
01:00:40,737 --> 01:00:42,329
So you will need to dress
appropriately.

1196
01:00:42,372 --> 01:00:43,703
- Right.
- Anyway..

1197
01:00:43,740 --> 01:00:45,901
since you are not
around to help,

1198
01:00:45,942 --> 01:00:47,705
- I've taken care of everything.
- Mommy, play!

1199
01:00:47,744 --> 01:00:49,541
Thank you.

1200
01:00:49,579 --> 01:00:53,015
Also, some roses
arrived for you.

1201
01:00:53,049 --> 01:00:55,574
- Roses?
- Yes, very curious.

1202
01:00:55,618 --> 01:00:58,485
The card says,
"Accept my apology,

1203
01:00:58,521 --> 01:01:00,546
or else."

1204
01:01:00,590 --> 01:01:02,353
Oh, that's crazy Grandpa.

1205
01:01:02,392 --> 01:01:04,451
He..

1206
01:01:04,494 --> 01:01:06,621
he didn't visit
Grandma last night

1207
01:01:06,663 --> 01:01:08,187
and we just
let him have it.

1208
01:01:08,231 --> 01:01:10,631
Well, you know how Grayer
is around pollen.

1209
01:01:10,667 --> 01:01:12,635
So, I'll have to
throw them out.

1210
01:01:12,669 --> 01:01:13,966
Annie?
- Oh, okay.

1211
01:01:14,003 --> 01:01:17,564
Well, you know,
I am going to..

1212
01:01:17,607 --> 01:01:19,507
hang up because
the pacemaker isn't on.

1213
01:01:19,542 --> 01:01:21,203
So I'll see you
in the morning.

1214
01:01:21,244 --> 01:01:23,940
Oh gosh.

1215
01:01:23,980 --> 01:01:25,470
- Honey?
- Yeah?

1216
01:01:25,515 --> 01:01:27,483
- Are you okay?
- Mm-hm.

1217
01:01:27,517 --> 01:01:29,314
Perfect.

1218
01:01:29,352 --> 01:01:30,649
Dessert?

1219
01:01:44,967 --> 01:01:47,765
This is of vital importance,
are you aware of that?

1220
01:01:47,804 --> 01:01:49,271
I don't think right now
is the time.

1221
01:01:49,305 --> 01:01:52,297
You have absolutely no idea
how disappointed I am.

1222
01:01:52,341 --> 01:01:54,434
Clowns are supposed to be funny.

1223
01:01:54,477 --> 01:01:58,311
Well, they're
French clowns, Grove.

1224
01:01:58,347 --> 01:02:01,316
I hate them and
I hate my birthday.

1225
01:02:01,350 --> 01:02:02,874
In order to clean up your mess!

1226
01:02:02,919 --> 01:02:05,387
Do not interrupt me.

1227
01:02:05,421 --> 01:02:08,982
Now you told me
that the extra year of preschool

1228
01:02:09,025 --> 01:02:11,050
would guarantee him
a spot.

1229
01:02:11,094 --> 01:02:13,756
Today he's six.
What's your plan now?

1230
01:02:15,998 --> 01:02:18,330
I'll be back, okay?

1231
01:02:18,367 --> 01:02:19,925
We should try to be calm.

1232
01:02:19,969 --> 01:02:21,903
My brother's kids got in.

1233
01:02:21,938 --> 01:02:24,907
That isn't enough of a humiliation.
I will not tolerate

1234
01:02:24,941 --> 01:02:27,171
- at this point..
- There are mimes in the next room.

1235
01:02:27,210 --> 01:02:29,178
- I suggest you keep your voice down.
- You know what?

1236
01:02:29,212 --> 01:02:30,907
Hey.

1237
01:02:33,716 --> 01:02:35,650
What the hell
are you doing here?

1238
01:02:35,685 --> 01:02:37,846
I want to know why
you threw my flowers away.

1239
01:02:37,887 --> 01:02:39,479
I found them
in the stairwell.

1240
01:02:39,522 --> 01:02:42,150
I didn't throw them away, okay?
My lunatic employer did.

1241
01:02:42,191 --> 01:02:44,921
And if you don't get out of here right
now, she's gonna throw me out too.

1242
01:02:44,961 --> 01:02:46,622
- Okay?
- Not until you agree to see me.

1243
01:02:46,662 --> 01:02:48,357
What?
This has got to stop.

1244
01:02:48,397 --> 01:02:49,989
Come on, one date.
That's all I'm asking here.

1245
01:02:50,032 --> 01:02:53,798
Oh, fine fine, okay?
After work on Thursday. Go go.

1246
01:03:01,944 --> 01:03:05,107
Nanny.

1247
01:03:05,148 --> 01:03:07,139
Before we head over
to the Carlyle,

1248
01:03:07,183 --> 01:03:10,118
I would like you to know
why Mr. X is so upset.

1249
01:03:11,521 --> 01:03:16,390
It seems that Grayer was
rejected for admission to Collegiate.

1250
01:03:16,425 --> 01:03:18,723
Um..
I'm very sorry.

1251
01:03:18,761 --> 01:03:20,695
- That must be upsetting.
- Not upsetting.

1252
01:03:20,730 --> 01:03:22,721
Unacceptable.

1253
01:03:22,765 --> 01:03:24,756
Stop it!

1254
01:03:26,202 --> 01:03:27,965
Get away from me!
- Oh, sweetheart.

1255
01:03:28,004 --> 01:03:30,404
Don't be afraid.
They're only clowns.

1256
01:03:30,439 --> 01:03:32,236
- I hate them.
- They're nice French clowns.

1257
01:03:32,275 --> 01:03:35,176
They scare me!

1258
01:03:35,211 --> 01:03:37,805
Grayer, go to your mommy.

1259
01:03:37,847 --> 01:03:39,212
- Huh-uh.
- Go to your mommy, Grayer.

1260
01:03:39,248 --> 01:03:40,545
- Go.
- No.

1261
01:03:40,583 --> 01:03:42,551
Go on, sweetheart.

1262
01:03:42,585 --> 01:03:44,553
As I was saying, Nanny,

1263
01:03:44,587 --> 01:03:47,317
we feel that you are not
spending enough time

1264
01:03:47,356 --> 01:03:49,586
on educational activities
with our son.

1265
01:03:49,625 --> 01:03:52,492
Therefore we have decided
to hire a consultant

1266
01:03:52,528 --> 01:03:54,621
to fully research
the situation.

1267
01:03:54,664 --> 01:03:57,394
He will demand extra
time from you this week..

1268
01:03:57,433 --> 01:03:59,128
Whatever's best for Grayer.

1269
01:03:59,168 --> 01:04:02,467
Starting Thursday evening.

1270
01:04:02,505 --> 01:04:05,372
Do you read to the child
from "The Wall Street Journal"?

1271
01:04:05,441 --> 01:04:08,410
"Financial Times"?
"Granta"?

1272
01:04:11,647 --> 01:04:14,081
I.. I sing to him
in French.

1273
01:04:14,116 --> 01:04:17,517
Well, we need more time
than I thought

1274
01:04:17,553 --> 01:04:19,418
to get to
the bottom of this.

1275
01:04:27,496 --> 01:04:29,862
I know.
I know, I'm very very late.

1276
01:04:29,899 --> 01:04:31,662
I'm sorry.
Did you get my message?

1277
01:04:31,701 --> 01:04:34,295
- Yep. All six of 'em.
- I couldn't get out of work.

1278
01:04:34,337 --> 01:04:36,805
The consultant kept me forever.
It was horrible.

1279
01:04:36,839 --> 01:04:38,670
Yeah, well, not only
did I lose the reservation,

1280
01:04:38,708 --> 01:04:40,835
but the kitchen
is now closed. So..

1281
01:04:40,877 --> 01:04:44,244
Okay.
I'm sorry I was late.

1282
01:04:44,280 --> 01:04:47,579
Um.. sometimes
these things just..

1283
01:04:47,617 --> 01:04:49,107
don't work out, okay?

1284
01:04:49,151 --> 01:04:52,416
Wait, whoa whoa whoa
whoa whoa whoa whoa.

1285
01:04:52,455 --> 01:04:54,719
Think you can just get
rid of me that easily?

1286
01:04:54,757 --> 01:04:56,588
No, it's not about
getting rid of you.

1287
01:04:56,626 --> 01:05:00,084
It's just that no place around here
stays open this late. That's all.

1288
01:05:01,530 --> 01:05:04,397
Actually, I know
the perfect place.

1289
01:05:08,838 --> 01:05:11,398
Pretty good, huh?

1290
01:05:11,440 --> 01:05:14,568
Number one slice
on the Upper East Side.

1291
01:05:14,610 --> 01:05:17,204
It's not bad.

1292
01:05:17,246 --> 01:05:20,704
I'll tell you what though..
it doesn't touch the Jersey Shore.

1293
01:05:22,885 --> 01:05:24,978
Well, if you're such
a pizza connoisseur,

1294
01:05:25,021 --> 01:05:27,285
there's a really great
place in Italian Harlem.

1295
01:05:27,323 --> 01:05:28,620
I'll take you there
sometime.

1296
01:05:28,658 --> 01:05:30,285
Harlem?

1297
01:05:30,326 --> 01:05:32,692
I have a hard time
imagining you in Harlem.

1298
01:05:32,728 --> 01:05:35,925
Why? I enjoy
exploring my city.

1299
01:05:35,965 --> 01:05:37,762
Something you should
probably do more of.

1300
01:05:37,800 --> 01:05:39,665
Oh, thank you.

1301
01:05:39,702 --> 01:05:42,967
I'll try to squeeze that in between
cleaning up Grayer's vomit

1302
01:05:43,005 --> 01:05:44,734
and picking up
Mrs. X's laundry.

1303
01:05:44,774 --> 01:05:47,470
Come on, if your job is that bad,
why don't you just quit?

1304
01:05:47,510 --> 01:05:49,808
I mean, it's not like you're on
a career path here.

1305
01:05:49,845 --> 01:05:51,073
I don't understand.

1306
01:05:51,113 --> 01:05:52,740
No, of course
you don't understand.

1307
01:05:52,782 --> 01:05:55,410
You've obviously lived
a very charmed life

1308
01:05:55,451 --> 01:05:58,181
growing up on Fifth Avenue.
You went to Harvard.

1309
01:05:58,220 --> 01:06:00,154
A charmed life?

1310
01:06:02,291 --> 01:06:05,226
Okay. Now I get it.

1311
01:06:05,261 --> 01:06:08,697
You know, for your
information

1312
01:06:08,731 --> 01:06:10,562
my mother died
when I was four.

1313
01:06:10,599 --> 01:06:13,568
My father traveled
constantly for work.

1314
01:06:13,602 --> 01:06:15,900
I was raised by
nine different nannies

1315
01:06:15,938 --> 01:06:18,429
until I was old enough
to get shipped off to boarding school.

1316
01:06:18,474 --> 01:06:20,874
That's how charmed
my life was.

1317
01:06:25,314 --> 01:06:27,578
- I'm really sorry.
- But you know something?

1318
01:06:27,616 --> 01:06:29,777
I still think I turned out
to be a pretty decent guy

1319
01:06:29,819 --> 01:06:31,150
in spite of it all.

1320
01:06:33,222 --> 01:06:35,747
I guess I'm officially
an asshole.

1321
01:06:37,360 --> 01:06:39,487
Well..

1322
01:06:39,528 --> 01:06:41,723
asshole is a pretty
strong word.

1323
01:06:41,764 --> 01:06:45,063
I would have gone
with jerk or bonehead.

1324
01:06:45,101 --> 01:06:48,264
But that's just
my prep school upbringing.

1325
01:06:50,439 --> 01:06:53,272
I don't know, you know,
I just.. I would love to quit.

1326
01:06:53,309 --> 01:06:56,642
I really would, but I..

1327
01:06:56,679 --> 01:06:59,113
I can't leave Grayer.

1328
01:06:59,148 --> 01:07:01,048
I can't.

1329
01:07:02,284 --> 01:07:03,808
You're gonna think
I'm totally crazy,

1330
01:07:03,853 --> 01:07:07,016
but I feel really bad
for her also.

1331
01:07:07,056 --> 01:07:09,320
Do you think I'm crazy?

1332
01:07:09,358 --> 01:07:12,156
Well, you know, you could
be suffering from

1333
01:07:12,194 --> 01:07:13,752
Stockholm Syndrome.

1334
01:07:13,796 --> 01:07:16,264
- You ever heard of Patty Hearst?
- Are you kidding?

1335
01:07:16,298 --> 01:07:17,959
Yes.

1336
01:07:18,000 --> 01:07:20,366
But I do think you should probably
let me kiss you right about now.

1337
01:07:20,403 --> 01:07:22,394
What?

1338
01:07:22,438 --> 01:07:24,804
Well..

1339
01:07:24,840 --> 01:07:26,569
we're two blocks
from your building.

1340
01:07:26,609 --> 01:07:29,305
And once we get any closer,
I won't be able to go near you.

1341
01:07:29,345 --> 01:07:31,210
Which, to tell you
the truth,

1342
01:07:31,247 --> 01:07:33,181
is all I've really thought
about since that day

1343
01:07:33,215 --> 01:07:35,206
I saw you in that
Betsy Ross getup.

1344
01:07:35,251 --> 01:07:37,776
That is really kinky and weird.

1345
01:07:37,820 --> 01:07:40,414
You don't know
the half of it.

1346
01:07:49,698 --> 01:07:51,928
Good night.

1347
01:07:51,967 --> 01:07:53,161
Good night.

1348
01:07:53,202 --> 01:07:55,693
- Pleasant evening.
- Yeah.

1349
01:08:07,650 --> 01:08:09,515
Good night.

1350
01:08:09,552 --> 01:08:11,213
Uh-huh.

1351
01:08:25,367 --> 01:08:27,232
Look out for the..

1352
01:08:27,269 --> 01:08:28,327
Sorry.

1353
01:08:43,853 --> 01:08:45,514
While doing field work,

1354
01:08:45,554 --> 01:08:48,387
anthropologists have been
known to lose themselves

1355
01:08:48,424 --> 01:08:50,415
in the very society
that they're studying,

1356
01:08:50,459 --> 01:08:53,917
a phenomenon known
as "going native."

1357
01:08:53,963 --> 01:08:55,726
When this occurs,

1358
01:08:55,764 --> 01:08:59,291
the proper course of action
is to remove oneself

1359
01:08:59,335 --> 01:09:01,132
ASAP.

1360
01:09:03,839 --> 01:09:06,069
After my night
with Harvard Hottie,

1361
01:09:06,108 --> 01:09:07,632
it became quite obvious

1362
01:09:07,676 --> 01:09:11,737
that my obsession with
the Xs meant I'd gone native.

1363
01:09:11,780 --> 01:09:13,839
Daydreaming in
the park that day,

1364
01:09:13,883 --> 01:09:17,011
I came to the conclusion that
the only right thing to do

1365
01:09:17,052 --> 01:09:19,486
was confront Mrs. X..

1366
01:09:19,522 --> 01:09:21,183
and quit.

1367
01:09:23,425 --> 01:09:25,416
Oh, I forgot about this.

1368
01:09:25,461 --> 01:09:27,861
Wow.
This could work.

1369
01:09:31,634 --> 01:09:32,896
Mmm.

1370
01:09:32,935 --> 01:09:35,426
See if you can find me
something short.

1371
01:09:35,471 --> 01:09:37,598
It'll go better
with this neckline.

1372
01:09:37,640 --> 01:09:39,130
Okay.

1373
01:09:42,478 --> 01:09:44,537
Oh.

1374
01:09:44,580 --> 01:09:47,276
Did Grayer
get you this?

1375
01:09:48,817 --> 01:09:51,718
God.

1376
01:09:51,754 --> 01:09:55,121
I bought this for
my mother when I was 10.

1377
01:09:55,157 --> 01:09:59,526
She got mad at me, refused to wear it.
She said it was common.

1378
01:09:59,562 --> 01:10:03,054
I think I saved it
out of spite.

1379
01:10:17,246 --> 01:10:19,806
How about this?

1380
01:10:21,317 --> 01:10:24,878
Mr. X bought it for me for our first
wedding anniversary.

1381
01:10:24,920 --> 01:10:27,480
So it's only fitting
that I should wear it tonight,

1382
01:10:27,523 --> 01:10:28,649
right?

1383
01:10:28,691 --> 01:10:30,886
Definitely.

1384
01:10:41,337 --> 01:10:44,306
Mrs. X, I need to
talk to you about something.

1385
01:10:45,708 --> 01:10:47,608
I know you're really
busy tonight,

1386
01:10:47,643 --> 01:10:49,736
so I was wondering if we
could schedule some time

1387
01:10:49,778 --> 01:10:52,508
- tomorrow night to talk.
- What is it, Nanny?

1388
01:10:54,750 --> 01:10:57,412
I.. I think it's better
if we talk alone.

1389
01:10:57,453 --> 01:10:59,683
What is it?

1390
01:11:01,357 --> 01:11:03,621
Nanny, lend a hand.

1391
01:11:21,010 --> 01:11:23,501
Well?

1392
01:11:23,545 --> 01:11:25,536
You look amazing.

1393
01:11:27,216 --> 01:11:29,548
- Really?
- You look very pretty, Mommy.

1394
01:11:29,585 --> 01:11:32,145
And.. and you like
the Dior?

1395
01:11:32,187 --> 01:11:35,179
I mean, I know
it's a little much for dinner,

1396
01:11:35,224 --> 01:11:36,555
but afterwards
he's taking me

1397
01:11:36,592 --> 01:11:39,152
to the President's
Circle Gala at the Met.

1398
01:11:39,194 --> 01:11:40,855
Well, I couldn't imagine
a more perfect dress

1399
01:11:40,896 --> 01:11:42,523
for a romantic
anniversary.

1400
01:11:42,564 --> 01:11:44,964
All I need now
is my husband.

1401
01:11:46,335 --> 01:11:48,997
I just called
the airport.

1402
01:11:49,038 --> 01:11:52,235
There wasn't a single
delay or cancelation out of Chicago

1403
01:11:52,274 --> 01:11:54,367
so..

1404
01:11:54,410 --> 01:11:56,674
Where can
that man be?

1405
01:11:58,314 --> 01:12:00,646
Nanny,
call La Grande Nuit

1406
01:12:00,683 --> 01:12:02,275
- and tell them we're running late.
- Come on.

1407
01:12:02,318 --> 01:12:03,876
I don't want to
lose the reservation.

1408
01:12:03,919 --> 01:12:06,513
Is it "Le Grande Nuit"
or "La Grande.."

1409
01:12:06,555 --> 01:12:08,648
"Le.. Les"?

1410
01:12:08,691 --> 01:12:10,158
I think it's "La."

1411
01:12:12,027 --> 01:12:13,892
Thanks, smarty-pants.

1412
01:12:16,665 --> 01:12:19,190
- Hello?
Uh yeah, it's me.

1413
01:12:19,234 --> 01:12:21,134
Listen, I'm losing
cell service here.

1414
01:12:21,170 --> 01:12:23,365
I need you to find
my wife and explain to her

1415
01:12:23,405 --> 01:12:25,236
that my flight
was canceled.

1416
01:12:25,274 --> 01:12:28,266
Uh, and since I'm gonna have to be back
here Sunday night,

1417
01:12:28,310 --> 01:12:30,175
I'm just gonna spend
the whole weekend in Chicago.

1418
01:12:30,212 --> 01:12:32,703
- No no no..
- Make sure to tell her I'm sorry.

1419
01:12:32,748 --> 01:12:34,716
No no no, Mr. X, you can't do this.
Look, she..

1420
01:12:40,589 --> 01:12:43,387
Nanny, who was it?

1421
01:12:50,199 --> 01:12:51,860
What did he say?

1422
01:12:53,435 --> 01:12:55,369
Um..

1423
01:12:57,039 --> 01:12:59,564
he said that..

1424
01:12:59,608 --> 01:13:01,132
his flight was canceled.

1425
01:13:03,145 --> 01:13:06,308
And..

1426
01:13:06,348 --> 01:13:09,545
and he's very
very sorry.

1427
01:13:16,058 --> 01:13:18,492
Make sure you
put that one on top.

1428
01:13:18,527 --> 01:13:19,653
I don't want
anything to wrinkle.

1429
01:13:22,131 --> 01:13:23,496
Mommy,
where are you going?

1430
01:13:26,368 --> 01:13:27,892
Mommy, don't go!

1431
01:13:27,936 --> 01:13:31,269
No, Gray.. no, Grayer.
Don't.. don't be difficult.

1432
01:13:31,306 --> 01:13:34,036
Mommy has to go away for
a few days to get some rest.

1433
01:13:34,076 --> 01:13:37,204
Nanny, I've decided to
take a few days off.

1434
01:13:37,246 --> 01:13:40,215
I'll be at the spa
at Canyon Ranch in Lenox.

1435
01:13:40,249 --> 01:13:43,412
- Maria has all my numbers.
- Oh God.

1436
01:13:45,220 --> 01:13:48,747
Nanny, can we go upstairs?

1437
01:13:48,791 --> 01:13:51,817
I feel funny.

1438
01:13:51,860 --> 01:13:55,421
Oh my God!
How did this come on so fast? 104?

1439
01:13:58,534 --> 01:14:00,559
Oh my God, oh my God.
Okay okay.

1440
01:14:00,602 --> 01:14:02,536
Honey, come here.
You okay?

1441
01:14:02,571 --> 01:14:03,902
I'm so sorry.

1442
01:14:03,939 --> 01:14:06,533
That's okay, that's okay.
All right.

1443
01:14:08,210 --> 01:14:10,201
Okay, wait.
No.

1444
01:14:10,245 --> 01:14:12,304
Hey, Lynette, it's Annie.
Listen, I need your help.

1445
01:14:12,347 --> 01:14:14,247
Grayer has
a temperature of 104

1446
01:14:14,283 --> 01:14:16,615
and I have vomit all over me
and there's nobody here.

1447
01:14:16,652 --> 01:14:18,119
God. Did you
call his mother?

1448
01:14:18,153 --> 01:14:20,417
Yes, I called his mother.
She's at some friggin' spa.

1449
01:14:20,456 --> 01:14:22,481
I left three messages
and she won't call me back.

1450
01:14:22,524 --> 01:14:24,389
I don't know what to do.

1451
01:14:24,426 --> 01:14:26,360
I mean, should I take him to
the emergency room or something?

1452
01:14:26,395 --> 01:14:28,454
- Annie, I can't answer that.
- I..

1453
01:14:28,497 --> 01:14:31,193
Do you know a number of a doctor

1454
01:14:31,233 --> 01:14:33,701
I could call for advice,
or a nurse even?

1455
01:14:33,735 --> 01:14:35,032
Of course I know a nurse.

1456
01:14:35,070 --> 01:14:36,970
Your mother.

1457
01:14:39,107 --> 01:14:40,870
Nanny?

1458
01:14:40,909 --> 01:14:43,002
Lynette, I have to
call you back.

1459
01:14:43,045 --> 01:14:45,377
What is it, sweetheart?
What's wrong?

1460
01:14:49,017 --> 01:14:51,986
I want my mommy.

1461
01:14:54,323 --> 01:14:56,257
Me too.

1462
01:14:59,962 --> 01:15:01,987
How is everything?

1463
01:15:02,030 --> 01:15:04,430
His fever's down.

1464
01:15:04,466 --> 01:15:06,730
But I think he's
got the croup.

1465
01:15:06,768 --> 01:15:09,464
The steam should help
open his passages

1466
01:15:09,505 --> 01:15:13,407
and hopefully it'll ease up his cough
and he can get some rest.

1467
01:15:13,442 --> 01:15:15,603
Is.. is there anything
I can do?

1468
01:15:15,644 --> 01:15:18,340
Just close the door.

1469
01:15:29,124 --> 01:15:30,591
He's okay now.

1470
01:15:30,626 --> 01:15:32,253
Much better.

1471
01:15:32,294 --> 01:15:33,761
Oh, thank you, God.

1472
01:15:33,795 --> 01:15:36,263
Even so, you should bring him
to the doctor in the morning.

1473
01:15:36,298 --> 01:15:38,528
He's probably gonna
need a prescription.

1474
01:15:38,567 --> 01:15:39,829
Okay.

1475
01:15:39,868 --> 01:15:42,132
Hey, Ma, um..

1476
01:15:43,739 --> 01:15:46,207
I.. I don't know
how to..

1477
01:15:46,241 --> 01:15:48,675
thank you for
coming here, and helping..

1478
01:15:48,710 --> 01:15:50,610
Why'd you lie
to me, Annie?

1479
01:15:54,316 --> 01:15:56,682
I have never lied to you.

1480
01:15:56,718 --> 01:15:58,242
Ever.

1481
01:15:58,287 --> 01:15:59,549
I know.

1482
01:15:59,588 --> 01:16:02,853
I just..

1483
01:16:04,793 --> 01:16:07,455
Oh, Mom, I couldn't
handle it anymore.

1484
01:16:07,496 --> 01:16:08,929
- I just couldn't handle it.
- What?

1485
01:16:08,964 --> 01:16:11,489
What couldn't you handle?
You're young, you're smart,

1486
01:16:11,533 --> 01:16:15,196
you're energetic. You got this
incredibly bright future ahead of you.

1487
01:16:15,237 --> 01:16:16,670
It was too bright, Ma.
All right?

1488
01:16:16,705 --> 01:16:19,105
I just.. I just, I got..
I had to get away.

1489
01:16:19,141 --> 01:16:21,109
And do this?

1490
01:16:21,143 --> 01:16:23,543
You understand?
Every night shift I worked,

1491
01:16:23,579 --> 01:16:26,139
every overtime hour
I accepted,

1492
01:16:26,181 --> 01:16:29,173
I did it because I wanted
something better for you than I had.

1493
01:16:30,185 --> 01:16:32,949
Nanny!
Good, you're up.

1494
01:16:32,988 --> 01:16:34,478
Just leave that there.

1495
01:16:34,523 --> 01:16:37,788
So listen, the spa
was just awful,

1496
01:16:37,826 --> 01:16:41,262
totally overrun
with suburban riffraff.

1497
01:16:41,296 --> 01:16:43,287
And then in the middle
of my body scrub,

1498
01:16:43,332 --> 01:16:45,926
Mr. X called
and believe it or not,

1499
01:16:45,968 --> 01:16:48,732
he wants to take us
all to Nantucket next week.

1500
01:16:48,770 --> 01:16:51,830
So I figured I might as well
cut my trip short and..

1501
01:16:53,909 --> 01:16:56,104
Who's this?

1502
01:16:56,144 --> 01:16:57,839
I'm Judy.

1503
01:16:57,879 --> 01:17:00,370
It's my mom.

1504
01:17:01,516 --> 01:17:04,508
You never mentioned
you had a mother, Nanny.

1505
01:17:04,553 --> 01:17:07,317
Um..

1506
01:17:07,356 --> 01:17:10,018
my mom's a nurse.
She came over here to help me.

1507
01:17:10,058 --> 01:17:13,221
Grayer's been very
very very sick.

1508
01:17:13,261 --> 01:17:15,559
- I tried calling you..
- Where is he?

1509
01:17:15,597 --> 01:17:19,033
Well he's..
he's sleeping now.

1510
01:17:19,067 --> 01:17:21,126
Then he can't be
that sick now, can he?

1511
01:17:21,169 --> 01:17:23,501
So listen, could you
quickly unpack my luggage

1512
01:17:23,538 --> 01:17:25,506
and just put everything
in the laundry?

1513
01:17:25,540 --> 01:17:28,532
I'm exhausted and Mr. X is expected
sometime before 9:00.

1514
01:17:28,577 --> 01:17:30,977
I will see you
in the morning.

1515
01:17:31,013 --> 01:17:34,210
Oh, very nice
to meet you, Julie.

1516
01:17:34,249 --> 01:17:35,978
Judy.

1517
01:17:47,829 --> 01:17:51,697
Call me when this phase
of your life is over.

1518
01:17:55,370 --> 01:17:58,897
I desperately wanted
to yell out after her,

1519
01:17:58,940 --> 01:18:00,908
but it was like one of
those awful dreams

1520
01:18:00,942 --> 01:18:03,035
where I had no voice.

1521
01:18:03,078 --> 01:18:06,047
My desire to be an observer of life..

1522
01:18:06,081 --> 01:18:08,948
was actually keeping me
from living one.

1523
01:18:08,984 --> 01:18:12,420
Clearly, the woman's
heinous.

1524
01:18:12,454 --> 01:18:14,649
You gotta quit.
It's just that simple.

1525
01:18:14,690 --> 01:18:17,557
I can't, all right?
I tried.

1526
01:18:17,592 --> 01:18:20,925
What if I made you
a tempting offer?

1527
01:18:20,962 --> 01:18:23,954
I'm gonna go to my father's house in
Southampton for a month.

1528
01:18:23,999 --> 01:18:28,459
I've got to take some time, figure out
if law school is really right for me.

1529
01:18:28,503 --> 01:18:29,868
Why don't you join me?

1530
01:18:29,905 --> 01:18:31,998
Do a little soul-searching.

1531
01:18:32,040 --> 01:18:34,372
We'd get the whole house to ourselves..
won't cost us a cent.

1532
01:18:34,409 --> 01:18:37,606
We'll walk on the beach.
We'll drink red wine,

1533
01:18:37,646 --> 01:18:40,080
grill fresh fish.

1534
01:18:40,115 --> 01:18:43,573
That sounds like heaven.

1535
01:18:43,618 --> 01:18:46,052
But what if this vacation
can save their marriage?

1536
01:18:46,088 --> 01:18:48,249
If I quit now,
I'll ruin it

1537
01:18:48,290 --> 01:18:50,121
and break Grayer's heart.

1538
01:18:50,158 --> 01:18:53,491
What about my heart?
Do I count for anything?

1539
01:18:55,630 --> 01:18:58,531
Come on, say yes.

1540
01:18:58,567 --> 01:19:01,001
Be young with me
in the Hamptons.

1541
01:19:01,036 --> 01:19:03,561
Don't go to Nantucket
with the weirdoes.

1542
01:19:03,605 --> 01:19:05,732
What do you say?

1543
01:19:14,516 --> 01:19:17,485
Not a chance in hell,
is there?

1544
01:19:17,519 --> 01:19:20,454
- I can take a hint.
- Come on, I didn't say no.

1545
01:19:20,489 --> 01:19:23,617
You weren't exactly screaming
yes though, were you?

1546
01:19:23,658 --> 01:19:25,683
I'm starting to wonder
if you're really selfless

1547
01:19:25,727 --> 01:19:28,389
or just a little
self-obsessed.

1548
01:19:28,430 --> 01:19:30,330
Thank you.
Thanks.

1549
01:19:30,365 --> 01:19:32,799
I have to go.

1550
01:19:35,270 --> 01:19:39,639
Listen, if you change
your mind, my offer stands.

1551
01:19:46,948 --> 01:19:49,348
We're going to 'Tucket.
We're going to 'Tucket.

1552
01:19:49,384 --> 01:19:52,649
Guess what else?
I'm getting a puppy.

1553
01:19:52,687 --> 01:19:54,814
Oh!

1554
01:19:54,856 --> 01:19:57,017
Oh my God!

1555
01:19:59,327 --> 01:20:02,091
Daddy, Daddy,
where's my puppy?

1556
01:20:02,130 --> 01:20:05,497
Been waiting for you right up
in the car there, sport.

1557
01:20:05,534 --> 01:20:07,297
- Isn't it wonderful?
- Mmm.

1558
01:20:07,335 --> 01:20:09,428
A family trip has been
long overdue.

1559
01:20:09,471 --> 01:20:12,201
Mmm, listen, I didn't
want to say anything in front of Grayer,

1560
01:20:12,240 --> 01:20:14,208
but the truth is,
I can only stay for a few days.

1561
01:20:14,242 --> 01:20:16,938
They're really pushing me to
finish up in Chicago.

1562
01:20:16,978 --> 01:20:19,503
You can't be serious.

1563
01:20:19,548 --> 01:20:21,516
You're not gonna leave us
on this island alone.

1564
01:20:21,550 --> 01:20:23,609
Okay, we'll talk
about it later.

1565
01:20:23,652 --> 01:20:26,314
# But I'm moving on #

1566
01:20:26,354 --> 01:20:31,291
# I'm gonna be your
number one #

1567
01:20:31,326 --> 01:20:33,988
# I'm not the kind
of girl #

1568
01:20:34,029 --> 01:20:38,432
# Who gives up
just like that #

1569
01:20:38,466 --> 01:20:40,491
- # Oh no-o-o-o.. #
Hi.

1570
01:20:40,535 --> 01:20:43,527
It's Annie.
I haven't heard from you in a while.

1571
01:20:43,572 --> 01:20:46,063
You're probably
in Southampton,

1572
01:20:46,107 --> 01:20:48,098
but I just wanted to
let you know that..

1573
01:20:48,143 --> 01:20:49,974
my cell phone
doesn't work here.

1574
01:20:50,011 --> 01:20:52,775
So if you wanted
to call..

1575
01:20:52,814 --> 01:20:55,180
if you wanted
to call,

1576
01:20:55,217 --> 01:20:57,344
- you probably have the number..
Nanny, hurry up!

1577
01:20:57,385 --> 01:20:59,353
Already on your cell phone,
but I will give it to you

1578
01:20:59,387 --> 01:21:02,220
just in case.
It is 508..

1579
01:21:02,257 --> 01:21:04,487
Hello?
- Oh.

1580
01:21:04,526 --> 01:21:06,653
- What, hello?
- Hello, Nanny?

1581
01:21:06,695 --> 01:21:08,390
- Wha..
- I need to use this phone.

1582
01:21:08,430 --> 01:21:10,830
- Immediately.
- Okay, so sorry.

1583
01:21:10,866 --> 01:21:14,495
- Oh God.
- Nanny, we're going to the beach.

1584
01:21:14,536 --> 01:21:16,902
When I grow up,
I want enough money

1585
01:21:16,938 --> 01:21:19,338
to build a real castle.

1586
01:21:19,374 --> 01:21:22,537
Just remember, Grove,
that money can't buy love.

1587
01:21:22,577 --> 01:21:25,569
But Mommy pays you money
and I love you.

1588
01:21:25,614 --> 01:21:28,276
Surprise surprise, dear.

1589
01:21:30,085 --> 01:21:33,953
- Mother?
- My, you've gotten portly.

1590
01:21:33,989 --> 01:21:36,480
Hi, Grandma.

1591
01:21:36,524 --> 01:21:38,651
What the hell
are you doing here?

1592
01:21:38,693 --> 01:21:42,424
Ask your wife.
She's the one who requested I come.

1593
01:21:42,464 --> 01:21:46,093
- Darling, I..
- Not that I need an invitation.

1594
01:21:46,134 --> 01:21:48,261
It is my house.

1595
01:21:48,303 --> 01:21:50,771
I just wanted your mother
to be here for the news.

1596
01:21:50,805 --> 01:21:53,433
News, what news?
What in the hell is going on here?

1597
01:21:53,475 --> 01:21:56,911
I'm having another baby.

1598
01:21:59,347 --> 01:22:01,611
Virtually impossible.

1599
01:22:01,650 --> 01:22:03,379
What exactly do you want?

1600
01:22:03,418 --> 01:22:06,182
And now my mother is here
so I can't go to Chicago.

1601
01:22:06,221 --> 01:22:08,519
One lousy week!

1602
01:22:08,556 --> 01:22:11,491
You know something?
You are an infuriating woman.

1603
01:22:11,526 --> 01:22:12,993
You really are!

1604
01:22:13,028 --> 01:22:15,826
That's what you get for
rejecting debutante season.

1605
01:22:15,864 --> 01:22:17,855
Who asked you, bitch?

1606
01:22:28,176 --> 01:22:29,905
Can you look after
the kids for a minute?

1607
01:22:29,945 --> 01:22:32,971
I'm the only nanny here.
I just have to use the restroom.

1608
01:22:33,014 --> 01:22:34,777
Hmm.

1609
01:22:34,816 --> 01:22:37,979
Make it snappy, dear.
I'm on the last chapter.

1610
01:22:38,019 --> 01:22:40,078
Oh, thanks a million.

1611
01:22:53,635 --> 01:22:56,604
Oh.
You look gorgeous.

1612
01:22:58,073 --> 01:23:00,871
Listen, I need some nanny advice.

1613
01:23:00,909 --> 01:23:02,604
- Okay.
- To tell you the truth,

1614
01:23:02,644 --> 01:23:05,807
I don't know what's gotten
into her lately.

1615
01:23:05,847 --> 01:23:08,816
Well, I installed
a Nanny Cam.

1616
01:23:08,850 --> 01:23:10,909
So we'll soon see
the truth.

1617
01:23:10,952 --> 01:23:13,785
It might be time
to let her go.

1618
01:23:17,292 --> 01:23:19,783
I saw another one.

1619
01:23:19,828 --> 01:23:21,819
Make a wish, Grove.

1620
01:23:21,863 --> 01:23:25,799
I wish we could stay
in 'Tucket forever,

1621
01:23:25,834 --> 01:23:29,201
Mommy, Daddy, you
and my puppy.

1622
01:23:36,177 --> 01:23:38,168
Grove?

1623
01:23:42,917 --> 01:23:46,045
You know I..

1624
01:23:46,087 --> 01:23:49,318
I'm not gonna be
your nanny forever.

1625
01:23:49,357 --> 01:23:52,451
I can't be.

1626
01:23:52,494 --> 01:23:55,930
That doesn't mean I'm not
gonna always be your friend.

1627
01:24:19,888 --> 01:24:22,789
What, there's no OJ
in the goddamned shit-shack?

1628
01:24:22,824 --> 01:24:25,725
Oh, I was just
about to make some.

1629
01:24:25,760 --> 01:24:27,489
Mm-hm.

1630
01:24:36,671 --> 01:24:39,572
Where's Grayer?
Isn't he up yet?

1631
01:24:39,607 --> 01:24:42,838
Um, he had a little
trouble sleeping.

1632
01:24:42,877 --> 01:24:44,708
So..

1633
01:24:48,683 --> 01:24:52,050
Concentrate? You have
got to be kidding me.

1634
01:24:52,087 --> 01:24:55,284
All my money and I can't
get fresh-squeezed? Come on.

1635
01:24:57,092 --> 01:25:00,391
Uh, we used it all
at the party, so..

1636
01:25:00,428 --> 01:25:02,157
Hmm.

1637
01:25:02,197 --> 01:25:05,689
Well then, why don't you and I
take a little trip to the market

1638
01:25:05,733 --> 01:25:07,530
and get us some, huh?

1639
01:25:30,558 --> 01:25:33,618
I'm not in right now.
Leave it at the beep.

1640
01:25:33,661 --> 01:25:37,222
# Be the new one,
burn to shine #

1641
01:25:37,265 --> 01:25:41,668
# I take the blue ones
every time #

1642
01:25:41,703 --> 01:25:45,833
# Walk me down
your broken line #

1643
01:25:45,874 --> 01:25:48,502
# All you have to do
is cry #

1644
01:25:48,543 --> 01:25:51,569
# Yes, all you
have to do is cry #

1645
01:25:53,148 --> 01:25:56,015
# All you have to do
is cry. #

1646
01:26:08,796 --> 01:26:11,094
- Where's Grayer?
- With his grandmother.

1647
01:26:12,967 --> 01:26:15,561
And where, may I ask,
have you been?

1648
01:26:19,007 --> 01:26:20,941
Um..

1649
01:26:20,975 --> 01:26:23,500
- I just had to clear my head.
- Did you?

1650
01:26:23,545 --> 01:26:26,673
I imagine your
unacceptable behavior

1651
01:26:26,714 --> 01:26:30,275
has something to do
with that boy in the building.

1652
01:26:30,318 --> 01:26:33,116
Nanny.

1653
01:26:33,154 --> 01:26:36,146
I wasn't
born yesterday.

1654
01:26:36,191 --> 01:26:38,523
He called several
times this week.

1655
01:26:38,560 --> 01:26:41,051
He called?
Why didn't you tell me?

1656
01:26:41,095 --> 01:26:43,063
I suppose I forgot.

1657
01:26:46,134 --> 01:26:48,659
It's really for
your own good.

1658
01:26:48,703 --> 01:26:51,297
He's a little out of
your league, don't you think?

1659
01:26:51,339 --> 01:26:53,933
It couldn't possibly
end well.

1660
01:26:55,443 --> 01:26:58,412
Clearly this
isn't working out.

1661
01:26:58,446 --> 01:27:00,778
Mr. X has arranged for
a taxi to take you to the ferry

1662
01:27:00,815 --> 01:27:02,749
and then for a car to
pick you up on the other end.

1663
01:27:02,784 --> 01:27:04,809
Please don't..
please don't do this.

1664
01:27:04,852 --> 01:27:07,878
Not.. not for me,
but for Grayer.

1665
01:27:07,922 --> 01:27:11,221
Not until you and your husband work
your problems out.

1666
01:27:11,259 --> 01:27:13,591
Don't you dare.

1667
01:27:13,628 --> 01:27:16,392
You stupid..
you stupid girl.

1668
01:27:16,431 --> 01:27:19,400
As if you know anything
about my life.

1669
01:27:19,434 --> 01:27:22,164
As if you know anything
about the real world.

1670
01:27:43,891 --> 01:27:45,222
All I got's $100.

1671
01:27:45,260 --> 01:27:47,751
All right, you know what?
Just give me the change

1672
01:27:47,795 --> 01:27:49,990
when you come back for my mother
at some point, okay?

1673
01:27:50,031 --> 01:27:51,726
Keep 10 bucks
for yourself, all right?

1674
01:27:51,766 --> 01:27:54,428
Nanny..

1675
01:27:54,469 --> 01:27:56,664
here's your final payment.

1676
01:27:56,704 --> 01:27:58,535
I expect you to
have all your things

1677
01:27:58,573 --> 01:28:00,541
out of our apartment by
the time we come back.

1678
01:28:00,575 --> 01:28:03,066
Just leave the keys
with the doorman.

1679
01:28:10,718 --> 01:28:13,482
Grayer, I think you
should take a nap.

1680
01:28:13,521 --> 01:28:16,046
I'm certainly ready
for one.

1681
01:28:16,090 --> 01:28:19,184
Nanny!
Where are you going?

1682
01:28:20,862 --> 01:28:23,558
- Nanny!
- Grayer. Grayer.

1683
01:28:23,598 --> 01:28:24,997
- Nanny!
- Stay here.

1684
01:28:25,033 --> 01:28:26,933
- Here.
- What are you doing?

1685
01:28:26,968 --> 01:28:28,560
- Take it, take it.
- What?

1686
01:28:28,603 --> 01:28:31,401
I can't tolerate the yapping.
Grayer's too young anyway.

1687
01:28:32,607 --> 01:28:34,336
- Nanny!
- Grayer.

1688
01:28:34,375 --> 01:28:36,468
- Nanny, don't go!
- Grayer, sweetheart..

1689
01:28:36,511 --> 01:28:39,947
Nanny, wait!

1690
01:28:39,981 --> 01:28:42,415
- Nanny!
- Grayer!

1691
01:28:42,450 --> 01:28:44,577
Nanny, don't leave me.

1692
01:28:47,021 --> 01:28:49,216
Nanny!

1693
01:28:55,930 --> 01:28:58,160
Grayer.

1694
01:29:46,047 --> 01:29:47,537
What?

1695
01:30:06,401 --> 01:30:08,232
Go ahead, puppy,
do your business.

1696
01:30:08,269 --> 01:30:10,100
Anywhere you like.

1697
01:30:16,144 --> 01:30:17,805
Good puppy!

1698
01:30:20,014 --> 01:30:23,711
Nanny Cam, Nanny Cam,
where are you hiding?

1699
01:30:30,591 --> 01:30:32,752
I love you.

1700
01:30:35,596 --> 01:30:37,894
Hola.

1701
01:30:39,133 --> 01:30:40,794
Hmm.

1702
01:30:41,803 --> 01:30:43,737
Aha!

1703
01:30:43,771 --> 01:30:46,433
Okay, lady,
you want Nanny Cam?

1704
01:30:46,474 --> 01:30:48,567
I'll give you
"Nannies Gone Wild."

1705
01:30:52,113 --> 01:30:54,946
And this is how the most
significant confrontation

1706
01:30:54,982 --> 01:30:57,348
in my life..

1707
01:30:57,385 --> 01:31:00,013
happened with a teddy bear.

1708
01:31:07,695 --> 01:31:11,893
After the abrupt termination
of my field work,

1709
01:31:11,933 --> 01:31:14,367
I took some time to
make sense

1710
01:31:14,402 --> 01:31:17,599
of all that
I had witnessed.

1711
01:31:17,638 --> 01:31:19,333
During this period

1712
01:31:19,373 --> 01:31:22,035
I read that critics of
anthropology believe

1713
01:31:22,076 --> 01:31:24,306
that just by
observing a culture

1714
01:31:24,345 --> 01:31:26,472
you inevitably change it.

1715
01:31:26,514 --> 01:31:28,641
- Mm!
- Ow! Hey.

1716
01:31:28,683 --> 01:31:31,481
In the many times that
I thought of Grayer,

1717
01:31:31,519 --> 01:31:34,716
I secretly hoped
those critics..

1718
01:31:34,755 --> 01:31:36,916
were right.

1719
01:31:38,526 --> 01:31:41,962
This is a tape of
my latest nanny disaster.

1720
01:31:42,029 --> 01:31:45,692
She was extremely problematic,
to say the least.

1721
01:31:45,733 --> 01:31:47,530
She neglected Grayer.

1722
01:31:47,568 --> 01:31:50,731
She drank.
She even flirted with my husband.

1723
01:31:50,771 --> 01:31:52,204
I finally had to fire her

1724
01:31:52,240 --> 01:31:54,936
for promiscuous behavior
with a boy in the building.

1725
01:31:54,976 --> 01:31:57,945
This videotape shows her
feeding my child

1726
01:31:57,979 --> 01:32:01,710
peanut butter and jelly
directly from the jar.

1727
01:32:01,749 --> 01:32:03,546
You know, I remember
this nanny.

1728
01:32:03,584 --> 01:32:06,280
She had a very
peculiar attitude.

1729
01:32:06,320 --> 01:32:08,288
Let's watch.

1730
01:32:08,322 --> 01:32:10,620
You excited about
going to Nantucket?

1731
01:32:10,658 --> 01:32:11,818
Yes.

1732
01:32:11,859 --> 01:32:13,349
Okay, well, why don't you
close your eyes

1733
01:32:13,394 --> 01:32:15,726
and you can dream about
building sand castles?

1734
01:32:15,763 --> 01:32:17,458
- I love you, Nanny.
- Good night.

1735
01:32:17,498 --> 01:32:19,966
This must be the wrong tape.
I've never seen this one before.

1736
01:32:20,001 --> 01:32:22,595
It's all right, just let it play out.
We'll get to something good.

1737
01:32:26,574 --> 01:32:28,769
Oh!
It's a problem.

1738
01:32:28,809 --> 01:32:30,970
Big problem.

1739
01:32:31,012 --> 01:32:34,641
Okay, Mrs. X, now it's time for a few
simple child-care rules.

1740
01:32:34,682 --> 01:32:37,378
Oh, all right. The teddy bear has
been compromised.

1741
01:32:37,418 --> 01:32:40,979
Slamming the door in
your kid's face is not okay.

1742
01:32:41,022 --> 01:32:44,287
Spending more time on a benefit for
kids you've never met

1743
01:32:44,325 --> 01:32:46,793
than you do with
your own blood is not okay.

1744
01:32:46,827 --> 01:32:50,661
Going to a spa when
your son has a fever of 104

1745
01:32:50,698 --> 01:32:52,723
and not answering
emergency calls,

1746
01:32:52,767 --> 01:32:54,564
that officially makes you
an unfit mother.

1747
01:32:54,602 --> 01:32:56,001
This is outrageous.
Stop the tape.

1748
01:32:56,037 --> 01:32:59,905
Uh, no, this is clearly
a disgruntled nanny.

1749
01:32:59,941 --> 01:33:02,739
We.. we might have
something to learn here.

1750
01:33:02,777 --> 01:33:06,577
Yeah, I know that you're really busy
with your hair appointments

1751
01:33:06,614 --> 01:33:08,241
and your Watsu
massages

1752
01:33:08,282 --> 01:33:11,274
and your attempts to stay young
so your husband won't leave you,

1753
01:33:11,319 --> 01:33:15,153
but here's an idea.. why don't you try
eating dinner with your child

1754
01:33:15,189 --> 01:33:16,781
every once in a blue moon?

1755
01:33:16,824 --> 01:33:18,257
And a head's up here,
lady.

1756
01:33:18,292 --> 01:33:21,125
Try smiling once in a while.
People hate you!

1757
01:33:22,863 --> 01:33:24,660
As for you, Mr. X,

1758
01:33:24,699 --> 01:33:26,860
who the hell are you?

1759
01:33:26,901 --> 01:33:29,096
Maybe you're asking
the same about me.

1760
01:33:29,136 --> 01:33:30,967
I know you've noticed my ass,

1761
01:33:31,005 --> 01:33:32,870
but you probably don't
recognize my face,

1762
01:33:32,907 --> 01:33:34,670
so here's a little hint,
okay?

1763
01:33:34,709 --> 01:33:37,701
I'm the one who's been
raising your son.

1764
01:33:42,450 --> 01:33:44,748
Grayer is not
an accessory.

1765
01:33:44,785 --> 01:33:48,448
His mother didn't
order him from a catalogue.

1766
01:33:48,489 --> 01:33:50,719
Your son, your wife,

1767
01:33:50,758 --> 01:33:53,591
are.. are..

1768
01:33:53,628 --> 01:33:55,892
are people in your home,

1769
01:33:55,930 --> 01:33:59,866
human beings who are
drowning in their desire

1770
01:33:59,900 --> 01:34:02,994
for you to just..
for you to look at them.

1771
01:34:16,851 --> 01:34:20,753
You know, the truth is,
I don't wish either of you harm.

1772
01:34:22,623 --> 01:34:25,456
If for no other reason
than you having

1773
01:34:25,493 --> 01:34:28,860
the profound privilege
of being Grayer's parents.

1774
01:34:31,866 --> 01:34:34,528
Grayer loves you.

1775
01:34:36,570 --> 01:34:38,470
He..

1776
01:34:38,506 --> 01:34:42,203
he doesn't care what you're
wearing or what you buy him

1777
01:34:42,243 --> 01:34:43,972
or what school
he gets into.

1778
01:34:44,011 --> 01:34:47,879
He just.. he just
wants you there.

1779
01:34:47,915 --> 01:34:50,247
That's it.

1780
01:34:51,852 --> 01:34:54,514
And time's running out,

1781
01:34:54,555 --> 01:34:57,023
and he won't love you
unconditionally that much longer.

1782
01:34:57,058 --> 01:35:00,186
So..

1783
01:35:00,227 --> 01:35:02,923
for your own good,

1784
01:35:02,963 --> 01:35:05,363
don't miss out
on getting to know him.

1785
01:35:05,399 --> 01:35:09,096
He is..
he's truly

1786
01:35:09,136 --> 01:35:13,596
an amazing
amazing little person.

1787
01:35:35,996 --> 01:35:37,588
Excuse me.

1788
01:35:37,631 --> 01:35:40,122
Of course.

1789
01:35:55,382 --> 01:35:57,441
Buenas noches.

1790
01:36:02,890 --> 01:36:06,485
It's a much tougher game
out there for women.

1791
01:36:08,195 --> 01:36:11,494
Nature deals us
some tricky cards.

1792
01:36:11,532 --> 01:36:13,523
Is that so hard
for you to understand?

1793
01:36:13,567 --> 01:36:15,330
No.

1794
01:36:15,369 --> 01:36:18,133
I don't know, Mom.
I just..

1795
01:36:20,741 --> 01:36:23,232
So I guess you're not
going into finance?

1796
01:36:23,277 --> 01:36:26,007
I don't think that having money
makes it any easier.

1797
01:36:26,046 --> 01:36:28,640
You know,
I know that now.

1798
01:36:31,819 --> 01:36:34,253
It's okay.

1799
01:36:34,288 --> 01:36:36,119
It's your life.

1800
01:36:36,157 --> 01:36:38,182
Personally, I think
you're making a big mistake.

1801
01:36:42,730 --> 01:36:45,790
But it is your life.

1802
01:36:45,833 --> 01:36:48,358
I want you
to be happy.

1803
01:36:53,607 --> 01:36:55,472
Hey.

1804
01:36:55,509 --> 01:36:57,374
- Hayden.
Oh, that's right.

1805
01:36:57,411 --> 01:36:59,572
I forgot to mention
his name is Hayden.

1806
01:36:59,613 --> 01:37:01,638
And once I finally
let myself say it,

1807
01:37:01,682 --> 01:37:03,650
it was a habit that
was pretty hard to break.

1808
01:37:03,684 --> 01:37:05,584
It is.. it's going
pretty good actually.

1809
01:37:05,619 --> 01:37:07,951
There's more scholarships
out there than I thought.

1810
01:37:07,988 --> 01:37:10,218
So why are you
so late?

1811
01:37:10,257 --> 01:37:13,385
Because I have
something for you.

1812
01:37:13,427 --> 01:37:15,691
It's from
your former employer.

1813
01:37:15,729 --> 01:37:16,787
What?

1814
01:37:16,831 --> 01:37:18,890
She cornered me
on the 12th floor,

1815
01:37:18,933 --> 01:37:22,733
figured I could get
to you before she could.

1816
01:37:25,573 --> 01:37:28,235
I don't want to
read this.

1817
01:37:28,275 --> 01:37:30,869
- Why don't I read it to you?
- Okay.

1818
01:37:36,550 --> 01:37:38,017
"Dear Annie.."

1819
01:37:40,354 --> 01:37:43,414
It's been several months
since we've spoken.

1820
01:37:43,457 --> 01:37:46,893
Even so, the things you said
on that tape haunt me every day.

1821
01:37:46,927 --> 01:37:50,658
And now looking back,
I don't know what to say

1822
01:37:50,698 --> 01:37:52,757
except thank you..

1823
01:37:52,800 --> 01:37:55,530
- and I'm sorry."
"And I'm sorry.

1824
01:37:55,569 --> 01:37:57,696
You were so right.

1825
01:37:57,738 --> 01:38:01,697
Of all my privileges,
Grayer is my greatest.

1826
01:38:01,742 --> 01:38:05,200
I desperately needed
someone to show me that.

1827
01:38:05,246 --> 01:38:06,907
You did.

1828
01:38:06,947 --> 01:38:10,212
And for that,
I owe you the world.

1829
01:38:11,619 --> 01:38:13,587
You may or may not
be surprised

1830
01:38:13,621 --> 01:38:15,646
to learn that
I've left my husband.

1831
01:38:15,689 --> 01:38:17,714
Not out of the jar.

1832
01:38:17,758 --> 01:38:19,453
Try it.

1833
01:38:20,895 --> 01:38:22,886
Any man who made me
feel desperate enough

1834
01:38:22,930 --> 01:38:25,592
to feign a pregnancy
wasn't worth fighting for.

1835
01:38:25,633 --> 01:38:27,396
Isn't it good?

1836
01:38:29,503 --> 01:38:31,937
Yeah.

1837
01:38:31,972 --> 01:38:33,371
Yeah, it is good.

1838
01:38:33,407 --> 01:38:35,807
So I'm pretty confident
that in time

1839
01:38:35,843 --> 01:38:37,640
we'll be getting
along just fine.

1840
01:38:37,678 --> 01:38:39,509
Yeah, it's really good.

1841
01:38:39,546 --> 01:38:42,174
It's really good.

1842
01:38:42,216 --> 01:38:45,743
Please know that I wish
you all the best in life.

1843
01:38:45,786 --> 01:38:47,913
- Sincerely.."
- "Sincerely..

1844
01:38:47,955 --> 01:38:50,219
Alexandra.

1845
01:38:50,257 --> 01:38:52,282
P. S..

1846
01:38:55,062 --> 01:38:58,395
I'm happy to report that Grayer asks
for you a little bit less

1847
01:38:58,432 --> 01:39:01,697
"every day and every night."

1848
01:39:11,145 --> 01:39:12,908
- Come on.
- Okay.

1849
01:39:12,947 --> 01:39:14,175
Let's get out of here.

1850
01:39:14,214 --> 01:39:16,011
Catching the Yankees game
with my dad tonight.

1851
01:39:16,050 --> 01:39:18,314
- Sounds wonderful.
- Yeah.

1852
01:39:18,352 --> 01:39:22,288
There's a popular belief
amongst anthropologists

1853
01:39:22,323 --> 01:39:26,282
that you must immerse
yourself in an unfamiliar world

1854
01:39:26,327 --> 01:39:30,320
in order to truly
understand your own.

1855
01:39:31,532 --> 01:39:34,057
I've probably gotta
get going soon actually.

1856
01:39:36,937 --> 01:39:38,495
See you
later tonight, okay?

1857
01:39:38,539 --> 01:39:40,302
Yeah.

1858
01:39:40,341 --> 01:39:42,502
I certainly hope so.

1859
01:39:47,281 --> 01:39:49,374
In conclusion,

1860
01:39:49,416 --> 01:39:51,646
I hope this field diary
has been illuminating

1861
01:39:51,685 --> 01:39:55,052
for those considering my application
to graduate school.

1862
01:39:56,590 --> 01:39:58,490
It certainly has been
for me.

1863
01:39:58,525 --> 01:40:00,686
# Oh yeah #

1864
01:40:03,597 --> 01:40:06,498
After a lost summer
of being Nanny,

1865
01:40:06,533 --> 01:40:09,195
I finally got to know Annie.

1866
01:40:13,540 --> 01:40:15,838
Thanks to a little man
named Grayer,

1867
01:40:15,876 --> 01:40:18,777
I only had to trek
across the Hudson River

1868
01:40:18,812 --> 01:40:21,781
to make this most
amazing discovery.

1869
01:40:33,000 --> 01:40:46,200