1 00:00:58,470 --> 00:01:10,470 Fixed & Synced by bozxphd. Enjoy The Flick 2 00:01:11,471 --> 00:01:16,041 It started out as just another day of living the dream. 3 00:01:19,379 --> 00:01:22,548 In Montreal, I had become a fan favorite. 4 00:01:22,550 --> 00:01:26,585 They would shower me with tiny foil balls of hash in the bullpen 5 00:01:26,587 --> 00:01:29,555 and lower down little bottles of Tequila. 6 00:01:29,557 --> 00:01:34,426 A record take of 67 bottles in two months one season. 7 00:01:34,428 --> 00:01:37,696 And the good stuff, too. 8 00:01:41,835 --> 00:01:47,506 I loved the life of getting paid to play the greatest game on earth. 9 00:01:47,574 --> 00:01:50,609 Sometimes I thought to myself that maybe 10 00:01:50,611 --> 00:01:53,579 I'd even do it for free. 11 00:02:25,178 --> 00:02:26,778 Bill Lee takes the ball today. 12 00:02:26,780 --> 00:02:29,982 Good-looking kid out of Southern California. 13 00:02:34,988 --> 00:02:36,021 He's very quotable. 14 00:02:36,023 --> 00:02:39,791 You know, his teammates have started calling him "the spaceman." 15 00:02:41,094 --> 00:02:44,696 Lee is really on top of his game these days. 16 00:02:44,698 --> 00:02:47,299 Well, he's certainly not afraid to speak his mind. 17 00:02:47,301 --> 00:02:51,837 He referred to Red Sox manager don Zimmer as "the gerbil." 18 00:02:51,839 --> 00:02:54,273 He may not know how to keep his mouth shut, 19 00:02:54,275 --> 00:02:56,708 but he plays the game the right way. 20 00:02:56,710 --> 00:02:58,911 Handles a bat well, too. 21 00:02:59,779 --> 00:03:04,516 Looks like he finally wore out his welcome in Boston. 22 00:03:04,518 --> 00:03:05,918 Bill Lee has to be considered 23 00:03:05,920 --> 00:03:08,353 one of the top lefties of all of baseball. 24 00:03:08,355 --> 00:03:10,355 The spaceman just keeps on competing 25 00:03:10,357 --> 00:03:14,693 and has put together a fine season for the Montreal expos. 26 00:03:14,695 --> 00:03:16,995 Left to center? Yeah, I guess so. 27 00:03:16,997 --> 00:03:20,933 He's actually a little bit left of Che Guevara. 28 00:03:22,302 --> 00:03:25,871 Once again, bill Lee works out of a jam. 29 00:03:25,873 --> 00:03:30,876 You can't help but feel he's always one step ahead of the hitter. 30 00:03:31,177 --> 00:03:34,479 Well, there's only one spaceman. 31 00:04:02,709 --> 00:04:04,109 Stop. Stop. 32 00:04:04,111 --> 00:04:07,179 Bill Lee. Present and accounted for, drill sergeant. 33 00:04:07,181 --> 00:04:08,580 Uh-uh. This gate don't open 34 00:04:08,582 --> 00:04:10,048 till one hour before game time. 35 00:04:10,050 --> 00:04:12,150 That's like, um, five minutes from now. 36 00:04:12,152 --> 00:04:15,687 Eh. You can go in through gate a or gate d. 37 00:04:15,689 --> 00:04:17,623 Just not this one, gate c, huh? 38 00:04:17,625 --> 00:04:19,291 When the hell did they make that rule? 39 00:04:19,293 --> 00:04:20,892 Look, I can come in, I'm on the team. 40 00:04:20,894 --> 00:04:25,097 Yes. In, uh, four minutes. 41 00:04:26,566 --> 00:04:27,299 Okay. Let's start over. 42 00:04:27,301 --> 00:04:29,201 I don't think that we've officially met. 43 00:04:29,203 --> 00:04:30,302 My name's Lee. 44 00:04:30,304 --> 00:04:32,504 I swore to you I'm on the team, all right? 45 00:04:32,506 --> 00:04:35,507 I'm a pitcher. Left-handed pitcher. Lanceur. 46 00:04:35,509 --> 00:04:39,177 I won 17 games three years in a row. I can come in. 47 00:04:39,179 --> 00:04:42,247 Of course. 48 00:04:42,249 --> 00:04:43,548 Bill Lee! 49 00:04:43,550 --> 00:04:45,384 Sorry about that... Ah, it's okay. 50 00:04:45,386 --> 00:04:48,420 You just don't look Chinese. No. 51 00:04:48,422 --> 00:04:49,855 No, I sure don't. 52 00:04:51,791 --> 00:04:53,592 You gonna let me in? 53 00:04:53,860 --> 00:04:55,427 Three minutes. 54 00:04:55,429 --> 00:04:57,596 Thank you! Merci Beaucoup. 55 00:04:57,598 --> 00:04:58,363 Hey, stop, huh? 56 00:04:58,365 --> 00:05:00,832 Bye-bye. 57 00:05:00,834 --> 00:05:02,701 Somebody stop him! 58 00:05:08,141 --> 00:05:10,442 Heard you shut down the cul-de-sac again last night. 59 00:05:10,444 --> 00:05:12,577 Yeah, I was tucked in by midnight. 60 00:05:12,579 --> 00:05:15,647 You know, you guys are like the gestapo with your spies around town. 61 00:05:15,649 --> 00:05:17,883 Losing five straight this early on will do that. 62 00:05:17,885 --> 00:05:18,917 People start to panic. What? 63 00:05:18,919 --> 00:05:22,020 Ace from space! You throwing today? 64 00:05:22,022 --> 00:05:24,056 I hope so. Hey, how's your wife doing? 65 00:05:24,058 --> 00:05:25,657 I think they found what they were looking for. 66 00:05:25,659 --> 00:05:29,761 And thank you for the Jersey. My son went crazy over it. 67 00:05:29,763 --> 00:05:32,597 Thank you! He brought it to school, everything. 68 00:05:32,599 --> 00:05:34,599 Thanks. Good luck tonight. 69 00:05:36,403 --> 00:05:38,003 You know, we won the damn division last year. 70 00:05:38,005 --> 00:05:40,739 How about some Patience? Like, give us some time to gel. 71 00:05:40,741 --> 00:05:43,308 Not sure Patience is a high priority right now. 72 00:05:43,310 --> 00:05:44,309 Everyone's on edge. 73 00:05:44,311 --> 00:05:45,277 Yeah, well, they should be. 74 00:05:45,279 --> 00:05:46,244 We're facing Fernando tonight. 75 00:05:46,246 --> 00:05:49,214 You hear anything about a drug problem on this team? 76 00:05:49,216 --> 00:05:51,750 Why do you guys always come asking me for these kinds of things? 77 00:05:51,752 --> 00:05:54,119 Gee, I don't know. Maybe because you are on the cover 78 00:05:54,121 --> 00:05:55,554 of high times magazine. 79 00:05:55,556 --> 00:05:56,288 Yeah, I know. 80 00:05:56,290 --> 00:05:59,458 Did you actually say you sprinkle marijuana on your oatmeal? 81 00:05:59,460 --> 00:06:01,193 No, I said pancakes, okay? 82 00:06:01,195 --> 00:06:05,063 It makes me impervious to bus fumes when I run to the ballpark. 83 00:06:05,065 --> 00:06:05,597 Big difference. 84 00:06:05,599 --> 00:06:09,835 You know, you should try it sometime. It helps with anxiety. 85 00:06:12,772 --> 00:06:14,005 What are you guys doing here? 86 00:06:14,007 --> 00:06:19,111 Huh, careful! This might turn into a drinking town with a baseball problem. 87 00:06:19,113 --> 00:06:19,845 What is it now? 88 00:06:19,847 --> 00:06:22,147 A hockey town with a drinking problem. 89 00:06:22,850 --> 00:06:26,151 Bill, what do you think of the rumored "drug problem" in this clubhouse? 90 00:06:26,153 --> 00:06:28,553 Don't answer that. Pretty please. 91 00:06:28,555 --> 00:06:29,654 Well, there, uh, 92 00:06:29,656 --> 00:06:31,156 definitely is a drug problem here. 93 00:06:31,158 --> 00:06:34,626 Whitman hasn't been able to score anything good since spring training 94 00:06:34,628 --> 00:06:36,294 and he's starting to get the shakes. 95 00:06:40,233 --> 00:06:45,737 Hey, bill, how do you think losing your pal Rodney Scott's gonna affect the team? 96 00:06:45,739 --> 00:06:51,510 Yeah bill, you gonna take a stand for Rodney like you did for Bernie in Boston? 97 00:06:51,512 --> 00:06:52,878 Cool breeze! 98 00:06:52,880 --> 00:06:54,312 What the hell happened, man? 99 00:06:54,314 --> 00:06:56,415 I just got goddamn dropped. 100 00:06:56,417 --> 00:06:58,283 When? Just now. 101 00:06:58,285 --> 00:06:59,518 Are you freaking kidding me? 102 00:06:59,520 --> 00:07:00,919 If I'm lying' I'm dying. 103 00:07:00,921 --> 00:07:03,021 You're one of our MVPS god damn it. 104 00:07:03,023 --> 00:07:04,923 Where's Fulton? 105 00:07:04,925 --> 00:07:07,225 I'm done as a dog here, man. 106 00:07:07,794 --> 00:07:10,862 I have no idea what I'm gonna do now. 107 00:07:12,366 --> 00:07:15,967 Hey, don't you worry, I'm gonna go talk to Fulton right now. 108 00:07:15,969 --> 00:07:16,334 Bill. 109 00:07:16,336 --> 00:07:19,905 There ain't no use in getting yourself all caught up in this mess. 110 00:07:19,907 --> 00:07:21,239 I got it. 111 00:07:21,908 --> 00:07:23,675 All right, take it easy, bill. 112 00:07:23,677 --> 00:07:25,477 I'm so freakin' outta here. 113 00:07:25,479 --> 00:07:26,411 Guys! 114 00:07:26,413 --> 00:07:29,614 This injustice can no longer be tolerated! 115 00:07:29,882 --> 00:07:31,817 Now, who's with me? 116 00:07:36,255 --> 00:07:37,789 Uh, I'm with you. 117 00:07:37,791 --> 00:07:40,358 Come on. Who's with me? 118 00:07:41,327 --> 00:07:43,161 Pussies. Hey, bill. 119 00:07:43,163 --> 00:07:43,895 Fine, I'm going. 120 00:07:43,897 --> 00:07:45,330 Would you calm down, please? 121 00:07:45,332 --> 00:07:48,900 Crazy ass-cracker. Bill! Hold on. 122 00:07:48,902 --> 00:07:50,068 Bill... 123 00:07:50,070 --> 00:07:51,670 What you gonna say to him? 124 00:07:51,672 --> 00:07:54,072 Tommy. Tommy! 125 00:07:54,074 --> 00:07:56,808 Fucking chickenshit. 126 00:07:58,345 --> 00:08:01,279 What're you... Hold on, hold on, hold on. 127 00:08:01,547 --> 00:08:05,917 "This is bullshit. 128 00:08:05,919 --> 00:08:10,489 "I'll be at brasserie 77. 129 00:08:10,491 --> 00:08:13,892 "If you need me, come and get me." 130 00:08:13,894 --> 00:08:16,194 All right, Rodney. 131 00:08:23,870 --> 00:08:26,238 Let's go. Let's get out of here. Hey, bill... 132 00:08:26,240 --> 00:08:28,373 - Bill. - What? 133 00:08:28,375 --> 00:08:30,041 Hold on for a second now, bill. 134 00:08:30,043 --> 00:08:34,279 Now look, the thing is I gotta finish packing up my things 135 00:08:34,281 --> 00:08:36,982 and they're supposed to bring out the cold cuts any minute now. 136 00:08:36,984 --> 00:08:39,551 So I'll catch up with you, all right? 137 00:08:39,553 --> 00:08:40,685 The cold cuts? 138 00:08:40,687 --> 00:08:41,853 You're gonna stick around for the... 139 00:08:41,855 --> 00:08:44,322 I love charcuterie. Just go. Go. Okay. Okay. 140 00:08:44,324 --> 00:08:47,158 Well, I'll meet you... I'll see you there. 141 00:08:47,160 --> 00:08:51,329 So here's Ron Cey to lead off the top half of the sixth. 142 00:08:51,331 --> 00:08:53,598 Bob James now on in relief. 143 00:08:55,402 --> 00:08:56,801 Oh! 144 00:08:56,803 --> 00:08:57,969 Next! 145 00:08:57,971 --> 00:09:00,205 Wow, you are unbelievable. You know that? 146 00:09:00,406 --> 00:09:02,274 Yeah, yeah. Just payment. 147 00:09:04,410 --> 00:09:05,877 You're a thief. 148 00:09:08,548 --> 00:09:12,884 Come on, you got to pitch around this guy! 149 00:09:14,955 --> 00:09:17,055 Sandy, can I get another one, please? 150 00:09:17,057 --> 00:09:19,491 Do you mind turning on the baseball game for me? 151 00:09:19,493 --> 00:09:20,659 Sorry, hockey's on. 152 00:09:20,661 --> 00:09:24,362 Might wanna slow down a little. You're drinking those like water. 153 00:09:24,364 --> 00:09:27,933 I never drink water this fast. 154 00:09:28,601 --> 00:09:30,835 Hey, bill. Would you like a shot of whiskey? 155 00:09:30,837 --> 00:09:33,505 Oh, no. No, no, no. No, thank you. 156 00:09:34,907 --> 00:09:38,710 In fact, I think I'm gonna head back over to the ball park. 157 00:09:38,712 --> 00:09:40,679 Looks like they might be needing me soon. 158 00:09:40,681 --> 00:09:42,080 Doesn't look like Rodney's showing up. 159 00:09:42,082 --> 00:09:45,317 You're four deep. You sure you wanna go pitch? 160 00:09:46,886 --> 00:09:48,420 That's actually five. 161 00:09:48,422 --> 00:09:49,888 And yeah, I'll be fine. 162 00:09:49,890 --> 00:09:52,624 You might want to turn on that baseball game. 163 00:09:52,626 --> 00:09:55,360 You're about to witness something special. 164 00:09:55,728 --> 00:09:57,195 Well, good luck. 165 00:09:57,197 --> 00:10:01,499 - He's there. He's got it. - And that will end the inning. 166 00:10:15,414 --> 00:10:17,182 Look, I was ready to pitch! 167 00:10:17,184 --> 00:10:20,352 I could've held them and we would've won the damn ballgame. 168 00:10:20,354 --> 00:10:24,222 How am I supposed to help this team when you don't fucking use me? 169 00:10:24,224 --> 00:10:26,157 We are 20 plus games into the season, 170 00:10:26,159 --> 00:10:28,193 and I've pitched, what, 12 innings. 171 00:10:28,195 --> 00:10:31,062 Are you completely fucking crazy, Lee? 172 00:10:31,064 --> 00:10:32,063 I might be a little bit crazy, yeah. 173 00:10:32,065 --> 00:10:36,635 Do you honestly think I would put you into a major league ball game 174 00:10:36,637 --> 00:10:39,137 after you've been at a bar drinking? Oh... 175 00:10:39,139 --> 00:10:40,739 You were lit! I wasn't lit. 176 00:10:40,741 --> 00:10:44,309 I had five beers... Five beers, seven beers, ten beers... 177 00:10:44,311 --> 00:10:47,312 I'd beat catfish after having seven. 178 00:10:48,014 --> 00:10:48,513 Okay? 179 00:10:48,515 --> 00:10:49,914 You don't think that we drink and smoke 180 00:10:49,916 --> 00:10:52,350 all goddamn game long in the bullpen anyway? 181 00:10:52,352 --> 00:10:53,685 That's not the point! 182 00:10:53,687 --> 00:10:57,722 The point is you abandoned your team! 183 00:10:57,724 --> 00:10:59,557 You're a deserter. 184 00:11:00,292 --> 00:11:01,760 A deserter. 185 00:11:02,194 --> 00:11:04,496 Where the fuck are we, Hanoi? 186 00:11:05,398 --> 00:11:10,068 Look, I was just trying to make a statement. All right? 187 00:11:10,736 --> 00:11:13,304 Where is the compassion on this team? 188 00:11:13,306 --> 00:11:14,873 Rodney has a family. 189 00:11:14,875 --> 00:11:17,575 Rodney Scott is none of your business. 190 00:11:17,577 --> 00:11:19,344 None of my business? 191 00:11:19,346 --> 00:11:23,648 Rodney has given us everything that he has for three years. 192 00:11:23,650 --> 00:11:24,482 He has won ball games for us, 193 00:11:24,484 --> 00:11:27,519 and he is one of the most decent guys that we have on this team. 194 00:11:27,521 --> 00:11:31,389 He's my fucking friend. And you fucking lie to him over and over. 195 00:11:31,391 --> 00:11:35,660 This is a business, Lee, plain and simple. It's a business. 196 00:11:35,662 --> 00:11:39,197 Rodney was batting .200. Numbers don't lie. 197 00:11:39,199 --> 00:11:40,498 Lee, listen. 198 00:11:40,500 --> 00:11:41,933 You can't fight reality, Lee. 199 00:11:41,935 --> 00:11:44,836 Ever seen reality? You ever noticed what reality is? 200 00:11:44,838 --> 00:11:47,472 Because you lose every time. 201 00:11:47,474 --> 00:11:51,609 Do you have a Webster's dictionary in here or just 202 00:11:51,611 --> 00:11:53,244 comic books and porn? 203 00:11:53,246 --> 00:11:55,080 Why me? What did I do to deserve him? 204 00:11:55,082 --> 00:12:01,219 I want you to look up the word "integrity" and tell me what it says. 205 00:12:02,154 --> 00:12:02,887 That's enough. 206 00:12:02,889 --> 00:12:06,591 "Integrity is the essence of everything successful." 207 00:12:06,593 --> 00:12:08,793 Buckminster Fuller said that. 208 00:12:08,795 --> 00:12:10,161 Who? Yeah, exactly. 209 00:12:10,163 --> 00:12:15,900 I am sick and tired of this intellectual bullshit! 210 00:12:15,902 --> 00:12:19,771 This is baseball, not UCLA. 211 00:12:20,173 --> 00:12:26,411 Goodrich wants to see you in his office bright and early. 212 00:12:26,413 --> 00:12:29,214 Now this is between you and him now. 213 00:12:29,216 --> 00:12:30,682 Why can't he just see me right now? 214 00:12:30,684 --> 00:12:33,618 He doesn't want to see you in the state you're in. 215 00:12:33,620 --> 00:12:35,520 We're not in a state. 216 00:12:35,522 --> 00:12:36,287 We're in a province. 217 00:12:36,289 --> 00:12:37,922 You would know that if you went to college. 218 00:12:37,924 --> 00:12:40,959 Oh, and by the way, I went to USC, not UCLA, 219 00:12:40,961 --> 00:12:42,794 you ignorant fucking prick. 220 00:12:42,862 --> 00:12:45,296 Out. Now! 221 00:12:45,298 --> 00:12:47,265 Hmm... Fucking push me? 222 00:12:47,267 --> 00:12:48,600 Get out. 223 00:12:56,509 --> 00:12:59,544 "It's better to die than to live in sleep." 224 00:13:00,012 --> 00:13:02,814 Shakespeare? No, no, no... 225 00:13:02,816 --> 00:13:04,282 GI Gurdjieff. 226 00:13:04,284 --> 00:13:06,151 The Indian mystic. 227 00:13:08,754 --> 00:13:12,690 GI Gurdjieff... The fuck out! 228 00:13:12,692 --> 00:13:15,193 I wasn't worried a bit. 229 00:13:15,195 --> 00:13:17,195 Hell, it wasn't even the first time 230 00:13:17,197 --> 00:13:19,731 I had to walk off a team to make a point. 231 00:13:19,733 --> 00:13:24,869 Back in Boston, I won 17 games, three years in a row. 232 00:13:24,871 --> 00:13:27,505 Even started game seven of what many consider 233 00:13:27,507 --> 00:13:30,975 the greatest world series ever played. 234 00:13:35,347 --> 00:13:35,880 Bill, 235 00:13:35,882 --> 00:13:39,684 last night Fisk hit one of the most historic home runs of all time 236 00:13:39,686 --> 00:13:42,353 and tonight, you get the ball for all the marbles. 237 00:13:42,355 --> 00:13:45,990 Reds manager, sparky Anderson says that win or lose, 238 00:13:45,992 --> 00:13:49,027 his pitcher don Gullett is going to the hall of fame. 239 00:13:49,029 --> 00:13:51,763 What do you have to say about that? 240 00:13:51,765 --> 00:13:56,000 Well, win or lose, I'm going to the Eliot lounge. 241 00:13:56,168 --> 00:13:58,203 There it is. 242 00:13:58,205 --> 00:14:00,972 A high drive. He was waiting for that one. 243 00:14:00,974 --> 00:14:03,508 That one is gone over everything. 244 00:14:03,510 --> 00:14:06,311 We didn't win that ball game, unfortunately. 245 00:14:06,313 --> 00:14:09,714 Tony Perez hit a curveball of mine that hasn't landed yet. 246 00:14:10,417 --> 00:14:15,553 But I'd like to see you find don Gullett's plaque hanging in Cooperstown. 247 00:14:15,621 --> 00:14:17,789 I however, 248 00:14:17,791 --> 00:14:18,991 I kept my end of the bargain. 249 00:14:24,129 --> 00:14:27,699 We called ourselves the loyal order of the buffalo heads. 250 00:14:27,701 --> 00:14:33,204 It was me, Fergie Jenkins, Rick wise, Jim Willoughby and Bernie Carbo. 251 00:14:33,206 --> 00:14:35,473 Bernie was a bit out of control in hindsight. 252 00:14:35,475 --> 00:14:40,778 Well, I guess we all were, but, I don't know. Maybe I'm projecting. 253 00:14:42,014 --> 00:14:45,917 Hey, what are you doing? Come back here, you crazy motherfucker! 254 00:14:45,919 --> 00:14:48,386 Oh, we're screwed. Oh, shit. 255 00:14:50,956 --> 00:14:53,224 I said to the gm... 256 00:14:53,226 --> 00:14:56,027 How the hell can you trade Carbo? 257 00:14:56,029 --> 00:14:57,996 This team needs a guy like him. 258 00:14:57,998 --> 00:15:00,131 I realize he's been partying sort of hard 259 00:15:00,133 --> 00:15:04,569 and traveling with that crazy stuffed gorilla, but he has a family. 260 00:15:04,571 --> 00:15:06,971 Where is the compassion around here? 261 00:15:06,973 --> 00:15:08,339 And he just said... 262 00:15:08,341 --> 00:15:10,074 It's a business, bill. 263 00:15:10,076 --> 00:15:11,643 You'll learn soon enough. 264 00:15:11,645 --> 00:15:15,146 One day you'll understand why we have rules. 265 00:15:16,849 --> 00:15:19,017 Om. 266 00:15:21,487 --> 00:15:23,054 Om. 267 00:15:24,590 --> 00:15:26,157 Om. 268 00:15:28,494 --> 00:15:30,061 Om. 269 00:15:33,666 --> 00:15:35,199 Om. 270 00:15:37,603 --> 00:15:39,437 Om. 271 00:15:42,241 --> 00:15:44,075 Om. 272 00:15:47,346 --> 00:15:48,579 Jesus! 273 00:15:48,581 --> 00:15:51,716 Lee, how the hell did you get in here? 274 00:15:51,718 --> 00:15:53,584 Through the door. 275 00:15:53,586 --> 00:15:56,421 Always with the smart answers, huh? 276 00:15:56,488 --> 00:15:58,489 Get the fuck off my desk, bill! 277 00:16:02,027 --> 00:16:03,795 You like games, huh, bill? 278 00:16:03,797 --> 00:16:05,830 How about we play a fun little game, huh? 279 00:16:05,832 --> 00:16:08,566 And in this game, bill, I ask you another question, 280 00:16:08,568 --> 00:16:11,302 we see if you can come up with a clever answer. 281 00:16:11,304 --> 00:16:12,603 Does that sound good? Yeah. 282 00:16:12,605 --> 00:16:14,706 Okay. Here's the question, bill. 283 00:16:14,708 --> 00:16:18,843 How do you feel about the fact that we are about to release your insubordinate, 284 00:16:18,845 --> 00:16:23,448 over-the-hill ass immediately from your contract? 285 00:16:23,450 --> 00:16:24,615 Releasing me? 286 00:16:24,617 --> 00:16:26,417 Under whose authority? 287 00:16:26,419 --> 00:16:29,253 The queen of fucking England. What difference does it make? 288 00:16:29,255 --> 00:16:32,223 It's a done deal. Pack up your shit. 289 00:16:32,225 --> 00:16:33,624 You don't have the right to restrict 290 00:16:33,626 --> 00:16:36,661 my constitutional freedom of expression. 291 00:16:36,663 --> 00:16:38,329 Oh, shit. You know what, bill? 292 00:16:38,331 --> 00:16:40,631 You're absolutely right. I don't. I know. 293 00:16:40,633 --> 00:16:42,700 But what I do have the right, bill, 294 00:16:42,702 --> 00:16:44,469 is to decide who plays on this team, 295 00:16:44,471 --> 00:16:48,172 and who doesn't. And frankly, we're going to really miss ya. 296 00:16:48,174 --> 00:16:50,608 Okay. Come on, we both know that this team needs me. 297 00:16:50,610 --> 00:16:51,075 Maybe. 298 00:16:51,077 --> 00:16:54,412 But you know what, that's a risk that we're very willing to take. 299 00:16:54,414 --> 00:16:56,781 And I need them. I do. 300 00:16:56,783 --> 00:16:59,550 I have a family, my kids go to school here. 301 00:16:59,552 --> 00:17:00,485 They have friends. 302 00:17:00,487 --> 00:17:01,886 We can't move back to the states. 303 00:17:01,888 --> 00:17:03,588 They only know the metric system. 304 00:17:04,224 --> 00:17:05,990 Well, bill, this will give them a chance 305 00:17:05,992 --> 00:17:08,826 to "expand their consciousness," as you like to say. 306 00:17:08,828 --> 00:17:11,462 You know what's funny, is I hate this part of my job. 307 00:17:11,464 --> 00:17:13,798 You know, releasing players, 'cause normally, 308 00:17:13,800 --> 00:17:15,066 right now is the time when I say, 309 00:17:15,068 --> 00:17:17,301 "oh, I'm so sorry. It's not personal. 310 00:17:17,303 --> 00:17:19,504 "It's business." But today, 311 00:17:19,705 --> 00:17:21,472 it actually feels good, to be honest, 312 00:17:21,474 --> 00:17:24,409 'cause I was gonna wait to do this after the home stand. 313 00:17:24,411 --> 00:17:28,079 But since you're being here, and such a fucking douchebag, 314 00:17:28,081 --> 00:17:31,249 why don't you just sign here, and initial here? 315 00:17:31,251 --> 00:17:34,419 And you know what, bill, we're done. 316 00:17:41,193 --> 00:17:42,627 You know what? 317 00:17:42,629 --> 00:17:45,063 You wanna cut me, go for it. 318 00:17:47,900 --> 00:17:49,467 There are plenty of other clubs out there 319 00:17:49,469 --> 00:17:51,869 desperate for quality left-handed pitching. 320 00:17:51,871 --> 00:17:52,837 One of them will sign me. 321 00:17:52,839 --> 00:17:56,774 And then we're gonna come marching back in here with the pennant on the line, 322 00:17:56,776 --> 00:17:58,810 and I'm gonna beat you in a game so bad 323 00:17:58,812 --> 00:18:02,180 that your future, future, great grandsons will feel it 324 00:18:02,182 --> 00:18:05,450 like a swift kick in the nuts. 325 00:18:05,452 --> 00:18:08,019 That's my grandpa Forrest for fuck's sake, bill. 326 00:18:08,021 --> 00:18:12,223 I tell you what, bill, I sincerely believe that you believe that. 327 00:18:12,225 --> 00:18:16,027 One of them will sign me, someone who appreciates me and lets me be myself. 328 00:18:16,029 --> 00:18:18,796 Somebody who knows how to treat its employees with dignity. 329 00:18:18,798 --> 00:18:19,464 With respect and loyalty. 330 00:18:19,466 --> 00:18:24,368 Hey, do me a solid, when you find this mythical team, see if they'd give me a job? 331 00:18:24,370 --> 00:18:26,037 Hey, bill! Come on back. What? 332 00:18:26,039 --> 00:18:29,107 Hey, unless you initial it's not official. 333 00:18:29,109 --> 00:18:31,909 I got a t-shirt made with that on it. 334 00:18:32,678 --> 00:18:34,045 There you go. 335 00:18:35,414 --> 00:18:36,848 Oh, that's mature, bill. Yeah. 336 00:18:36,850 --> 00:18:38,649 That's mature. Somebody will pick me up. 337 00:18:38,651 --> 00:18:41,853 Guaranteed, probably later this afternoon. 338 00:18:41,855 --> 00:18:43,354 Don't count on it, bill. 339 00:18:43,356 --> 00:18:45,857 Don't fucking count on it. 340 00:18:51,396 --> 00:18:54,031 - You're listening to - CFCF 600 Montreal. 341 00:18:54,033 --> 00:18:58,803 There is a disturbing rumor circulating around town right now 342 00:18:58,805 --> 00:19:03,074 that the expos have released bill Lee. 343 00:19:03,809 --> 00:19:06,811 Hopefully, it's just a rumor. 344 00:19:07,045 --> 00:19:10,047 Either way, this one goes out to you, bill. 345 00:19:10,049 --> 00:19:13,217 It's Warren Zevon, bill Lee. 346 00:19:37,277 --> 00:19:40,211 Fuckin' expos... 347 00:19:43,148 --> 00:19:44,482 Fuck! Fuck! 348 00:20:28,760 --> 00:20:32,897 I got a brother, he's got a fishing outfit in the eastern townships. 349 00:20:32,899 --> 00:20:34,165 You can get a job there. 350 00:20:34,167 --> 00:20:36,000 It's all the COD you can eat. 351 00:20:36,535 --> 00:20:38,636 Hydroponics. 352 00:20:38,638 --> 00:20:39,537 Hydroponics. 353 00:20:39,539 --> 00:20:41,606 Trust me, it's gonna be big one day. 354 00:20:41,608 --> 00:20:43,641 Ever think about going into politics, bill? 355 00:20:43,643 --> 00:20:47,845 Hey, would you village idiots shut the fuck up already. 356 00:20:49,681 --> 00:20:50,715 Dickie Dennis. 357 00:20:50,717 --> 00:20:52,383 This strapping young man right here 358 00:20:52,385 --> 00:20:55,753 is a goddamn professional baseball player. 359 00:20:55,755 --> 00:20:56,387 That's right, goddammit. 360 00:20:56,389 --> 00:20:59,056 He doesn't need to be growing weed on a fishing boat 361 00:20:59,058 --> 00:21:01,392 while running for the senate for his livelihood. 362 00:21:01,394 --> 00:21:04,528 Fuck no, he needs to be throwing a baseball. 363 00:21:04,530 --> 00:21:07,231 Because it is a god given talent. That's right. 364 00:21:07,233 --> 00:21:08,966 And the spaceman here is an icon, 365 00:21:08,968 --> 00:21:11,202 he's bigger than the game itself. Okay, all right, dick. 366 00:21:11,204 --> 00:21:13,204 And the game needs fellas like this. That's enough. 367 00:21:13,206 --> 00:21:15,806 No, no, no. Let's get another one. 368 00:21:15,808 --> 00:21:18,042 I got a way of getting you back on the mound. 369 00:21:18,044 --> 00:21:21,212 A word in my office, s'il vous plait. 370 00:21:21,580 --> 00:21:23,914 Okay, I can't wait to hear this one. 371 00:21:23,916 --> 00:21:27,184 Yep. Right, Larry, thank you. 372 00:21:27,186 --> 00:21:30,221 So how's the new novel coming along there, dick? 373 00:21:30,223 --> 00:21:33,758 Great. Just waiting on notes from the editor. 374 00:21:33,760 --> 00:21:35,993 He's real excited about this one. 375 00:21:36,128 --> 00:21:38,596 Isn't that what you said about the last one? 376 00:21:38,697 --> 00:21:41,432 Yeah, and the one before that. 377 00:21:41,700 --> 00:21:43,768 But this is not about my bad luck streak. 378 00:21:43,770 --> 00:21:46,337 It is about your bad luck streak. 379 00:21:46,805 --> 00:21:49,540 You got a plan? Yeah, I got a plan. 380 00:21:49,542 --> 00:21:51,142 What is it? My plan is to wait by the phone 381 00:21:51,144 --> 00:21:53,411 and just wait for the offers to come rolling in. 382 00:21:53,413 --> 00:21:54,312 That's my plan. 383 00:21:54,314 --> 00:21:56,280 What if your phone don't ring? 384 00:21:56,282 --> 00:21:56,614 It will. 385 00:21:56,616 --> 00:22:00,584 I gotta be honest with you, bill. You're 35 years old. 386 00:22:00,719 --> 00:22:05,122 You're not over the hill just yet, but you're not a spring chicken either. 387 00:22:05,124 --> 00:22:07,224 Satchel Paige threw three scoreless innings 388 00:22:07,226 --> 00:22:10,027 against the Red Sox when he was 59 years old. 389 00:22:10,029 --> 00:22:12,496 I'm well aware of that fact. 390 00:22:13,065 --> 00:22:16,033 And that's why I got a real plan. 391 00:22:16,868 --> 00:22:18,636 What we're gonna do... 392 00:22:18,904 --> 00:22:20,237 We're gonna write letters 393 00:22:20,239 --> 00:22:21,872 to every single team in major league baseball. 394 00:22:21,874 --> 00:22:26,010 We're gonna let 'em know that you are healthy, ready, and available to play. 395 00:22:26,012 --> 00:22:28,746 You mean every team in the national league? 396 00:22:29,881 --> 00:22:30,848 Why? Oh. 397 00:22:30,850 --> 00:22:32,283 I won't be able to hit in the American league. 398 00:22:32,285 --> 00:22:36,087 I don't think we should cut the cloth quite so fine. 399 00:22:36,089 --> 00:22:37,054 I gotta hit, I gotta hit, 400 00:22:37,056 --> 00:22:39,123 and that means being part of the national league. 401 00:22:39,125 --> 00:22:42,293 Yeah, but you're cutting our options in half. 402 00:22:42,295 --> 00:22:44,028 What do you mean, "our options?" 403 00:22:44,030 --> 00:22:45,329 What is this? 404 00:22:45,331 --> 00:22:46,263 It means I'll be your agent. 405 00:22:46,265 --> 00:22:49,734 Just for a nominal fee, you know? 406 00:22:49,736 --> 00:22:51,836 Whatever the industry standard is. 407 00:22:51,838 --> 00:22:52,937 I don't know that. 408 00:22:52,939 --> 00:22:57,074 I've been just fine on my own without an agent for all these years. 409 00:22:57,076 --> 00:22:58,309 Oh, really? Yeah. 410 00:22:58,311 --> 00:23:01,078 Yeah. What do you know about being an agent, anyway? 411 00:23:01,080 --> 00:23:04,148 Where is your career right now? 412 00:23:04,150 --> 00:23:08,185 Professional representation is where the sport is headed. 413 00:23:08,187 --> 00:23:09,620 So why don't you do what you do best, 414 00:23:09,622 --> 00:23:11,055 you let me do what I do best. 415 00:23:11,057 --> 00:23:14,091 And what is it exactly that you do best? 416 00:23:15,428 --> 00:23:17,628 Now you're just trying to hurt me. 417 00:23:20,031 --> 00:23:23,000 How long have we known each other? How many years? 418 00:23:23,002 --> 00:23:24,168 I don't know. Too damn long. 419 00:23:24,170 --> 00:23:27,304 And in that time, we've gone through a lot of shit together. 420 00:23:27,306 --> 00:23:29,340 - A whole lot. - Yeah. 421 00:23:29,474 --> 00:23:30,741 I got people ask me all the time, 422 00:23:30,743 --> 00:23:32,009 "what's bill Lee, really like? 423 00:23:32,011 --> 00:23:37,047 "Is he really as big of a flake and a stoner as they make him out to be?" 424 00:23:37,049 --> 00:23:38,482 You know what I tell those people? 425 00:23:38,484 --> 00:23:40,017 What do you tell those people? 426 00:23:40,019 --> 00:23:41,585 I tell them the truth. 427 00:23:41,587 --> 00:23:42,052 Which is? 428 00:23:42,054 --> 00:23:45,823 I tell them that bill Lee is one hell of a fine left-handed pitcher. 429 00:23:45,825 --> 00:23:50,194 And he's also one of the most thoughtful players I've ever met. 430 00:23:50,829 --> 00:23:52,863 You're incredibly well-read and you're bright. 431 00:23:52,865 --> 00:23:54,465 And I've known a lot of great players in my time 432 00:23:54,467 --> 00:23:56,767 but I've never known another one like you. 433 00:23:56,769 --> 00:23:57,968 But you gotta face it, kid. 434 00:23:57,970 --> 00:24:00,204 Business is not your strong suit. 435 00:24:03,175 --> 00:24:05,042 So, come on board. 436 00:24:05,477 --> 00:24:07,645 And let's get you back where you belong. 437 00:24:07,647 --> 00:24:09,647 On a major league mound. 438 00:24:18,190 --> 00:24:21,258 Viva la spaceman! 439 00:24:22,494 --> 00:24:23,861 Here. 440 00:24:23,863 --> 00:24:26,063 Let me buy you a real drink. 441 00:24:26,999 --> 00:24:30,501 No, no, no, no, no. I gotta be in... I gotta be in early tonight. 442 00:24:30,503 --> 00:24:32,336 Oh, yeah? Where do you gotta be? 443 00:24:32,338 --> 00:24:33,037 Got the kids this weekend. 444 00:24:33,039 --> 00:24:36,574 Oh, he's got the kids this weekend. 445 00:24:36,576 --> 00:24:39,410 Come on, don't be a pussy. 446 00:24:39,578 --> 00:24:40,945 Just one. 447 00:24:47,586 --> 00:24:49,253 Daddy! Daddy! 448 00:24:49,255 --> 00:24:50,554 Wake up. Wake up! 449 00:24:50,556 --> 00:24:51,489 Wake up. Wake up! 450 00:24:51,491 --> 00:24:53,991 Come on. Wake up! 451 00:24:54,392 --> 00:24:55,860 I got an a on my French test. 452 00:24:55,862 --> 00:24:58,529 Good job there, kiddo. 453 00:24:58,531 --> 00:24:59,864 Show-off. 454 00:24:59,998 --> 00:25:02,166 Are you sad you lost your job? 455 00:25:02,168 --> 00:25:04,001 They saw it on the news. 456 00:25:04,003 --> 00:25:05,402 Oh, hey. 457 00:25:05,404 --> 00:25:06,837 Should we go to the park for a bit, 458 00:25:06,839 --> 00:25:08,372 give you a chance to sleep some more? 459 00:25:08,374 --> 00:25:10,708 No, no, no, no. I'm up. 460 00:25:10,710 --> 00:25:11,876 I'm up! 461 00:25:11,878 --> 00:25:13,410 We are going to the history museum today 462 00:25:13,412 --> 00:25:15,880 and we're gonna go check out the spider pavilion. 463 00:25:15,882 --> 00:25:19,083 Why don't you ask your mom if she wants to come with us. 464 00:25:19,551 --> 00:25:22,653 You wanna come? You guys have fun. 465 00:25:22,655 --> 00:25:24,321 Kids, if you need anything at all, call me. 466 00:25:24,323 --> 00:25:26,657 I'll be at grandma's all weekend. Okay? Okay. 467 00:25:26,659 --> 00:25:29,760 Love you. Love you too, mom, bye. 468 00:25:31,496 --> 00:25:33,197 Dad, we're hungry. 469 00:25:33,899 --> 00:25:36,934 All right. Food... You know where the food's at. 470 00:25:42,208 --> 00:25:44,241 Look, it's just temporary. 471 00:25:44,309 --> 00:25:46,777 Your father still has a lot left in the tank. 472 00:25:46,779 --> 00:25:51,048 And the universe has a way of rewarding people who are in the right. 473 00:25:51,050 --> 00:25:52,216 We're gonna find a new team. 474 00:25:52,218 --> 00:25:54,218 Can I still root for Montreal? 475 00:25:54,220 --> 00:25:57,354 Players. Just not the management. 476 00:25:57,889 --> 00:25:59,757 What's gonna be the new team? 477 00:25:59,759 --> 00:26:01,292 I don't know yet, sweetie. 478 00:26:01,294 --> 00:26:03,294 But, we'll find out soon enough. 479 00:26:08,967 --> 00:26:10,167 Ah... 480 00:26:10,569 --> 00:26:14,638 But right now we're gonna do a little teamwork. 481 00:26:14,640 --> 00:26:17,308 All right, we are gonna write letters 482 00:26:17,310 --> 00:26:20,511 to every team in the national league asking for a job. 483 00:26:20,513 --> 00:26:23,480 Should we tell them that your era was best on the team? 484 00:26:23,482 --> 00:26:25,282 And you were second in games pitched? 485 00:26:25,284 --> 00:26:27,585 Uh, I think they know that, sweetheart. 486 00:26:28,520 --> 00:26:30,688 But sometimes people make mistakes. 487 00:26:30,690 --> 00:26:33,457 They get angry and they lose control of their emotions. 488 00:26:33,459 --> 00:26:36,193 Have you ever lost control of your emotions? 489 00:26:36,561 --> 00:26:37,428 Oh, yeah. 490 00:26:37,430 --> 00:26:38,429 Yeah, we all do. 491 00:26:38,431 --> 00:26:40,698 It's just part of being a member of the human species. 492 00:26:40,700 --> 00:26:43,667 I thought we were mammals. 493 00:26:43,669 --> 00:26:44,868 We are mammals. 494 00:26:44,870 --> 00:26:46,003 We're both. 495 00:26:46,005 --> 00:26:49,173 Mammals is our class and primate is our order. 496 00:26:49,175 --> 00:26:51,742 You see, that is why you go to school. 497 00:27:19,871 --> 00:27:21,138 Hmm. 498 00:27:23,308 --> 00:27:26,076 Hey. Bonjour. Good morning. 499 00:27:26,645 --> 00:27:28,345 My name is Gino Lapue 500 00:27:28,347 --> 00:27:29,680 and this is Claude. 501 00:27:29,682 --> 00:27:31,148 You boys Mormons? 502 00:27:31,150 --> 00:27:33,050 'Cause I'm in no mood for prophesizing this morning. 503 00:27:33,052 --> 00:27:35,586 This soul is far beyond saving. 504 00:27:35,588 --> 00:27:37,388 No, we are not Mormons. 505 00:27:37,390 --> 00:27:39,423 We are from the Longueuil senators. 506 00:27:39,425 --> 00:27:42,026 Politicians? Shit, now I wish you were Mormons. 507 00:27:42,028 --> 00:27:44,028 So sorry to disturb you, 508 00:27:44,129 --> 00:27:46,797 but we come bearing an opportunity. 509 00:27:47,432 --> 00:27:52,102 Bill, how much would you like to be pitching again? 510 00:27:52,270 --> 00:27:54,338 Did you guys buy the team? 511 00:27:54,340 --> 00:27:57,975 No, no, we want you to play for us. 512 00:27:58,143 --> 00:27:58,776 Who's us? 513 00:27:58,778 --> 00:28:01,445 Local church league softball team? 514 00:28:01,579 --> 00:28:04,381 Um, I manage the Longueuil senators, 515 00:28:04,383 --> 00:28:06,884 of the Quebec men's senior league. 516 00:28:06,886 --> 00:28:08,118 Senior league? 517 00:28:08,120 --> 00:28:09,253 Yeah, we play hardball. 518 00:28:09,255 --> 00:28:10,587 Yeah. Two games a week. 519 00:28:10,589 --> 00:28:11,889 Some very nice players. 520 00:28:11,891 --> 00:28:14,458 Yeah, yeah. No, Merci Beaucoup. 521 00:28:14,460 --> 00:28:16,627 Uh, I don't play senior baseball. 522 00:28:16,629 --> 00:28:18,529 And who's Marcel Marceau over here? 523 00:28:18,531 --> 00:28:19,663 And why doesn't he speak? 524 00:28:19,665 --> 00:28:21,265 This is Claude. This is our catcher. 525 00:28:21,267 --> 00:28:24,068 While he doesn't speak very much English, but trust me, 526 00:28:24,070 --> 00:28:26,737 he's great behind the plate. Ah. 527 00:28:26,739 --> 00:28:27,938 Listen, listen. 528 00:28:27,940 --> 00:28:31,508 We've already spoken to the ministry of sports on your behalf. 529 00:28:31,510 --> 00:28:35,579 And they agreed to reinstate your amateur status. 530 00:28:35,581 --> 00:28:36,280 Amateur? 531 00:28:36,282 --> 00:28:38,082 Who the hell are you showing up on my doorstep 532 00:28:38,084 --> 00:28:39,883 and calling me amateur, Pepe Le pew? 533 00:28:39,885 --> 00:28:41,885 I'm a big leaguer, goddammit. 534 00:28:41,887 --> 00:28:44,688 I've been to battle with guys like yaz and Fisk. 535 00:28:44,690 --> 00:28:46,724 Twice the men you'll ever be. 536 00:28:46,726 --> 00:28:47,291 And we know this. 537 00:28:47,293 --> 00:28:50,661 This is why we very much want you to join our pitching staff. 538 00:28:50,663 --> 00:28:52,730 We play only 10 minutes away from here. 539 00:28:52,732 --> 00:28:54,531 Against who? The local Kiwanis club? 540 00:28:54,533 --> 00:28:57,701 Some very competitive teams from nearby cities. 541 00:28:57,703 --> 00:29:01,638 Uh, Verdun. Sorel. Mascouche. 542 00:29:01,640 --> 00:29:03,073 Mascouche. Mascouche is nice. 543 00:29:03,075 --> 00:29:04,441 Oh, yeah. Quebec city. Uh... 544 00:29:04,443 --> 00:29:07,878 Trois-rivieres. Yeah. Great team over in Trois-rivieres. 545 00:29:07,880 --> 00:29:10,180 Great. Does it pay anything? 546 00:29:16,521 --> 00:29:21,692 Yeah. We may be able to help with gas money. Maybe. 547 00:29:21,960 --> 00:29:23,627 Yeah, okay, uh, you're gonna have to speak 548 00:29:23,629 --> 00:29:25,162 with my representatives on this matter. 549 00:29:25,164 --> 00:29:27,231 We happen to be in the middle of a very heated 550 00:29:27,233 --> 00:29:29,867 bidding war over my services at the moment. 551 00:29:29,869 --> 00:29:30,801 Yeah, we understand that. 552 00:29:30,803 --> 00:29:34,371 Okay. This is just an open invitation. Let's go. 553 00:29:34,439 --> 00:29:35,739 Feel free to think it over. 554 00:29:35,741 --> 00:29:38,909 Yeah, sorry, guys, I just don't see this in the cards. 555 00:29:38,911 --> 00:29:42,146 It's not you, it's me, trust me. It's just timing. 556 00:29:42,148 --> 00:29:45,749 No problem. We wish you good luck always. 557 00:29:47,752 --> 00:29:49,052 But hey, 558 00:29:49,888 --> 00:29:53,290 say the stars were to align for you boys, 559 00:29:53,292 --> 00:29:55,526 how soon would you need me? 560 00:29:56,394 --> 00:29:59,530 We have a game tomorrow night. 561 00:29:59,631 --> 00:30:00,531 Could I hit cleanup? 562 00:30:00,533 --> 00:30:03,133 You can hit anywhere you want in the lineup. 563 00:30:03,135 --> 00:30:04,601 Anywhere. 564 00:30:05,270 --> 00:30:07,704 Just think about it, but no pressure, huh? 565 00:30:08,039 --> 00:30:11,408 All right, well, maybe I'll stop by and say hello sometime. 566 00:30:11,410 --> 00:30:12,242 Anytime. 567 00:30:12,244 --> 00:30:14,812 Spaceman. 568 00:30:14,814 --> 00:30:16,547 All right. 569 00:30:16,915 --> 00:30:23,854 "To whom it may concern..." 570 00:30:25,123 --> 00:30:26,156 Oh, let me sign it. I gotta sign it. 571 00:30:26,158 --> 00:30:30,260 The truth is, I wasn't ready for the damn beer leagues quite yet. 572 00:30:30,262 --> 00:30:34,097 No disrespect, but I still wanted to strike out Garvey, 573 00:30:34,099 --> 00:30:36,300 not Jacques from accounting. 574 00:30:36,302 --> 00:30:37,568 My brood and I sat down together 575 00:30:37,570 --> 00:30:41,738 and sent letters to each of the other 11 national league teams. 576 00:30:41,740 --> 00:30:44,641 They were heartfelt and honest. 577 00:30:44,643 --> 00:30:46,210 Now it was just a matter of sitting back 578 00:30:46,212 --> 00:30:49,179 and waiting to see which club made the most attractive offer. 579 00:30:49,181 --> 00:30:55,552 And like a good Buddhist, I intended to stay entirely unattached to the results. 580 00:31:02,894 --> 00:31:04,528 Hey. 581 00:31:26,017 --> 00:31:27,517 What the... 582 00:31:43,435 --> 00:31:45,202 Sully... 583 00:31:45,204 --> 00:31:46,270 Sully, you cocksucker. 584 00:31:46,272 --> 00:31:47,437 What are you doing with my mail? 585 00:31:47,439 --> 00:31:49,206 What are you doing? Are you in on this? 586 00:31:49,208 --> 00:31:51,575 I... no. I'm not in on nothing. Where's the rest of my mail? 587 00:31:51,577 --> 00:31:53,477 I'm delivering the mail. 588 00:31:53,479 --> 00:31:54,511 You let go of my bag. 589 00:31:54,513 --> 00:31:57,214 Give it to me. I'm a government employee! 590 00:32:12,263 --> 00:32:14,331 That's not yours. So long, Sully. 591 00:32:14,399 --> 00:32:15,465 See you tomorrow. Okay! 592 00:32:21,739 --> 00:32:24,241 - Hey, hey! - What? 593 00:32:24,243 --> 00:32:25,575 Pittsburgh! 594 00:32:25,577 --> 00:32:26,677 What? Pittsburgh. 595 00:32:26,679 --> 00:32:30,414 Yep. You know, I always wanted to live in Pittsburgh. 596 00:32:30,416 --> 00:32:32,249 Really? No, well... 597 00:32:32,251 --> 00:32:33,583 You know, all right. 598 00:32:33,585 --> 00:32:34,952 "Dear bill. Thank you for your thoughtful letter. 599 00:32:34,954 --> 00:32:37,688 "Indeed, we finished last season in dead last place. 600 00:32:37,690 --> 00:32:40,524 "Yes, our pitching staff is in such dire shape 601 00:32:40,526 --> 00:32:43,927 "that we don't know how we are going to get through this season." 602 00:32:45,864 --> 00:32:50,867 "However, we have enough problems without adding you to the mix. 603 00:32:50,869 --> 00:32:54,938 "We will not be requiring your services at this time." 604 00:32:56,941 --> 00:32:58,976 Hey, you know what? 605 00:33:00,578 --> 00:33:02,079 Fuck those guys. 606 00:33:02,081 --> 00:33:03,947 Fuck 'em. 607 00:33:03,949 --> 00:33:06,516 We got a positive mental attitude. 608 00:33:07,285 --> 00:33:10,087 That's' the way to survive, my friend. 609 00:33:10,089 --> 00:33:12,422 Positive mental attitude. 610 00:33:16,361 --> 00:33:19,262 Where are you going? It's in overtime. 611 00:34:52,156 --> 00:34:53,356 Here's one. 612 00:34:53,358 --> 00:34:56,126 Why do Canadians do it doggy style? 613 00:34:56,627 --> 00:34:59,162 So they can both watch the hockey game. 614 00:35:02,266 --> 00:35:03,600 Hey, fellas. 615 00:35:03,868 --> 00:35:05,569 Bill Lee. Hmm. 616 00:35:06,270 --> 00:35:10,807 So, uh, who do I speak to about getting a Jersey around here? 617 00:35:10,975 --> 00:35:13,944 Well, the equipment manager, he'll be back in a sec. 618 00:35:13,946 --> 00:35:16,913 He just ran out to pick up the catering. 619 00:35:18,217 --> 00:35:21,585 There's a Jersey and cap in the garbage bag over there. 620 00:35:21,587 --> 00:35:24,988 We supply our own pants, shoe and well, 621 00:35:26,090 --> 00:35:27,557 everything else. 622 00:35:29,293 --> 00:35:30,927 Yeah, well, 623 00:35:30,929 --> 00:35:32,896 I usually wear 37. 624 00:35:34,866 --> 00:35:36,199 Not today. 625 00:35:48,579 --> 00:35:49,646 Welcome. 626 00:35:49,648 --> 00:35:51,148 Oh, hey. Hey. 627 00:35:52,618 --> 00:35:54,918 So, did you meet some of the guys? 628 00:35:54,920 --> 00:35:57,621 Yeah, it's a tough group. 629 00:35:57,623 --> 00:35:58,355 Yeah. 630 00:35:58,357 --> 00:36:00,690 So, where's the rest of the team? 631 00:36:01,826 --> 00:36:04,194 So far, we only have eight today. 632 00:36:04,196 --> 00:36:07,931 It is sometimes a challenge to field with guys, unfortunately. 633 00:36:07,933 --> 00:36:08,298 Oh, Christ. 634 00:36:08,300 --> 00:36:12,369 Well, like I said, this is a one night stand, so... 635 00:36:12,371 --> 00:36:12,736 Yeah. 636 00:36:12,738 --> 00:36:16,106 Any real fans coming to these games or just local hobos? 637 00:36:16,440 --> 00:36:18,074 Mostly hobos. 638 00:36:18,076 --> 00:36:19,543 Nervous? 639 00:36:19,545 --> 00:36:23,680 Ah... no. No. 640 00:36:24,315 --> 00:36:25,682 Well... 641 00:36:26,517 --> 00:36:28,451 You better start warming up, big guy. 642 00:36:28,453 --> 00:36:30,854 We're playing new Brunswick tonight. 643 00:36:30,856 --> 00:36:33,790 They are the league champions three years running. 644 00:36:33,792 --> 00:36:35,225 Oh, okay. 645 00:36:38,296 --> 00:36:39,663 Hmm. 646 00:36:41,832 --> 00:36:43,233 Thank you. 647 00:36:47,705 --> 00:36:49,372 What are they saying? 648 00:36:50,174 --> 00:36:51,508 Nothing good. 649 00:36:51,510 --> 00:36:54,711 Basically, they would like nothing more than to beat us to a bloody pulp 650 00:36:54,713 --> 00:36:57,781 and then mount your head on their wall for posterity. 651 00:36:57,783 --> 00:36:58,615 Okay, I get it. 652 00:36:58,617 --> 00:37:02,686 It's hunting season and I'm the prized caribou. 653 00:37:03,054 --> 00:37:04,688 The biggest rack. 654 00:37:04,690 --> 00:37:06,456 Well, guess what? 655 00:37:06,724 --> 00:37:08,491 I live for this shit. 656 00:37:20,671 --> 00:37:25,775 Uh, I think you missed the exit for the ice rink. This is baseball, frenchie. 657 00:37:25,777 --> 00:37:30,547 All right, listen, I throw all kinds of shit, so I hope you can keep up. 658 00:37:30,549 --> 00:37:32,249 My bread and butter is the off-speed stuff. 659 00:37:32,251 --> 00:37:35,685 Sliders, curves, the occasional eephus. 660 00:37:35,687 --> 00:37:37,020 You with me? 661 00:37:38,923 --> 00:37:40,090 Okay, don't ask for a fastball 662 00:37:40,092 --> 00:37:41,224 because you ain't getting it. All right? 663 00:37:41,226 --> 00:37:43,526 There are only have so many silver bullets left in the chamber 664 00:37:43,528 --> 00:37:47,330 for guys like me and I sure as fuck ain't wasting them out here. 665 00:37:48,366 --> 00:37:49,633 Got it? 666 00:37:50,268 --> 00:37:53,069 Oh, Christ. Can somebody please translate? 667 00:37:54,605 --> 00:37:55,939 Hey. Hey. 668 00:37:56,274 --> 00:38:00,543 Let's start anew here. My name is bill Lee, formerly of nos amours. 669 00:38:00,545 --> 00:38:03,013 Joseph Cartwright, formerly of El Detroit. 670 00:38:03,015 --> 00:38:04,447 Oh, the tigers? 671 00:38:04,449 --> 00:38:05,915 United auto workers. 672 00:38:05,917 --> 00:38:07,484 Oh. So you transferred? 673 00:38:07,486 --> 00:38:11,554 Uh, no, laid off. Married a Quebecois woman and... 674 00:38:11,556 --> 00:38:13,690 Here we are. 675 00:38:14,525 --> 00:38:19,596 Oh, shit! Don't look now but I think I just spotted a scout in the stands. 676 00:38:20,931 --> 00:38:21,798 That ain't no damn scout. 677 00:38:21,800 --> 00:38:24,868 Definitely is. I think I recognize him from Minnesota. 678 00:38:24,870 --> 00:38:26,536 Trust me. It's not. 679 00:38:26,538 --> 00:38:27,971 How do you know? 680 00:38:28,105 --> 00:38:29,172 That's my father-in-law. 681 00:38:29,174 --> 00:38:33,009 Hi! Woman next to him is my wife, unfortunately. 682 00:38:33,844 --> 00:38:34,077 Hmm. 683 00:38:34,079 --> 00:38:38,248 Oh, I could've swore I recognized him from the majors. 684 00:38:38,316 --> 00:38:40,450 Anyway, tell frenchie here that it's gonna be 685 00:38:40,452 --> 00:38:42,218 the third signal in the series. 686 00:38:42,220 --> 00:38:43,386 No fastballs. 687 00:38:48,793 --> 00:38:51,728 Just tell him to trust me, I know what I'm doing here. 688 00:39:04,375 --> 00:39:07,844 He says that he respects that you're the big leaguer. 689 00:39:07,846 --> 00:39:09,145 Oh... 690 00:39:09,147 --> 00:39:10,447 Thank you. 691 00:39:44,482 --> 00:39:46,916 Fucking balls! Yay! 692 00:40:40,171 --> 00:40:41,438 Here. 693 00:40:42,473 --> 00:40:45,074 Me, me, me... 694 00:40:45,076 --> 00:40:46,810 Ugh... oh... 695 00:41:00,324 --> 00:41:01,591 Strike! 696 00:41:14,505 --> 00:41:16,172 And he's mid-stroke, right? 697 00:41:16,174 --> 00:41:18,208 And all of a sudden he hears the husband come home. 698 00:41:18,210 --> 00:41:21,377 It must have been summer Fridays or something. I don't know. 699 00:41:21,379 --> 00:41:22,412 Anyway, he finishes, 700 00:41:22,414 --> 00:41:25,048 he grabs his clothes and then he jumps out the window 701 00:41:25,050 --> 00:41:27,750 buck naked, into a rose bush, 702 00:41:27,752 --> 00:41:29,652 he's got thorns everywhere. 703 00:41:29,654 --> 00:41:31,087 Goes on the fifteen day dl 704 00:41:31,089 --> 00:41:33,289 and guess what the papers said? What? 705 00:41:33,291 --> 00:41:35,792 Tendonitis. 706 00:41:35,794 --> 00:41:38,862 And it wasn't me. I swear to god, it wasn't me. 707 00:41:39,129 --> 00:41:40,597 I'm truly sorry you're not interested 708 00:41:40,599 --> 00:41:41,631 in continuing to play with us. 709 00:41:41,633 --> 00:41:44,033 But you know, you're always welcome back. 710 00:41:44,035 --> 00:41:45,401 Well, thank you, Gino. I appreciate that. 711 00:41:45,403 --> 00:41:48,204 It's just that I got to figure out which team I'm gonna be playing with. 712 00:41:48,206 --> 00:41:51,841 I gotta sort out my family situation. You know the deal. 713 00:41:51,843 --> 00:41:52,809 Of course. 714 00:41:52,811 --> 00:41:55,745 All right, boys, I'll see you around. 715 00:41:55,747 --> 00:41:57,247 Hey, hey, bill. 716 00:41:58,682 --> 00:41:59,616 Hold up. 717 00:41:59,618 --> 00:42:01,784 Hey, I want you to have this. 718 00:42:01,786 --> 00:42:03,853 No, Joe. That's your Jersey. 719 00:42:03,855 --> 00:42:06,089 No, no. You're 37. 720 00:42:06,091 --> 00:42:09,092 I want you to have it. I insist. 721 00:42:09,426 --> 00:42:11,995 Hey, you might want to give that a scrub, huh? 722 00:42:11,997 --> 00:42:14,063 Maybe twice. 723 00:42:16,200 --> 00:42:18,234 I appreciate it. 724 00:42:20,237 --> 00:42:22,238 You take care. Good luck. 725 00:42:22,240 --> 00:42:23,806 Later, boys! 726 00:42:26,745 --> 00:42:28,111 Bye, bye. 727 00:42:28,113 --> 00:42:30,446 Yes, hi. It's dick Dennis. 728 00:42:30,448 --> 00:42:33,216 Uh, just following up again. 729 00:42:34,084 --> 00:42:35,618 Yeah. 730 00:42:36,086 --> 00:42:37,820 Well, just, uh, let him know that I called. 731 00:42:37,822 --> 00:42:42,091 And, uh, you know, we have to have an answer by the end of the week, 732 00:42:42,093 --> 00:42:43,259 or else we're left with no choice, 733 00:42:43,261 --> 00:42:45,094 we gotta move on down the list. 734 00:42:45,096 --> 00:42:48,631 I know I said that last week, but I mean it now. 735 00:42:48,633 --> 00:42:49,866 I mean. 736 00:42:49,868 --> 00:42:52,535 Just tell him I called. Okay? 737 00:42:59,977 --> 00:43:02,946 Really? We have a symbiotic relationship. 738 00:43:02,948 --> 00:43:04,547 You are a server. I am a consumer. 739 00:43:04,549 --> 00:43:06,716 If you do not serve, I cannot consume, 740 00:43:06,718 --> 00:43:09,886 and therefore, you throw the delicate ecosystem 741 00:43:09,888 --> 00:43:12,088 of our relationship out of balance. 742 00:43:12,090 --> 00:43:14,557 So another, s'il vous plait 743 00:43:14,559 --> 00:43:16,693 I... I don't got anymore of that. 744 00:43:16,695 --> 00:43:18,728 Oh, but, did you see this? What? 745 00:43:18,730 --> 00:43:20,930 A petition being circulated by the YMCA 746 00:43:20,932 --> 00:43:24,734 on bill's behalf, urging the team to bring him back. 747 00:43:24,736 --> 00:43:25,902 Hmm. Good. 748 00:43:25,904 --> 00:43:28,137 Montreal is a good fall back. 749 00:43:28,139 --> 00:43:30,707 Oh, so, you haven't heard? Heard what? 750 00:43:30,709 --> 00:43:35,478 Well, word's getting around they already decided to give him a shot. 751 00:43:35,480 --> 00:43:36,613 When? 752 00:43:36,615 --> 00:43:38,147 When hell freezes over. 753 00:43:38,149 --> 00:43:41,217 He's starting and hitting cleanup. 754 00:43:41,219 --> 00:43:43,286 I'm glad you find this funny. 755 00:43:43,288 --> 00:43:45,154 It's just a man's life you're talking about. 756 00:43:45,156 --> 00:43:48,658 I'm not naming any names but I'm telling you this is a reliable source. 757 00:43:48,660 --> 00:43:53,162 People tell you funny things when you're pouring their gin and tonics. 758 00:43:54,732 --> 00:43:56,666 Montreal's a non-starter? 759 00:43:56,668 --> 00:44:00,036 It's not just here, it's all of baseball, man. 760 00:44:00,038 --> 00:44:01,771 Owners talk to each other. 761 00:44:01,773 --> 00:44:04,340 He's 86'd. He's blackballed. 762 00:44:04,342 --> 00:44:06,342 Call it whatever the fuck you want. 763 00:44:06,344 --> 00:44:07,577 He's done. 764 00:44:07,579 --> 00:44:08,277 Bullshit! 765 00:44:08,279 --> 00:44:11,314 Bullshit. I mean... Bill's a... he's a, he's a veteran left-hander. 766 00:44:11,316 --> 00:44:14,117 He's got four or five years left in his arm. 767 00:44:14,119 --> 00:44:15,952 You got to be kidding me. 768 00:44:15,954 --> 00:44:17,587 I love bill, you know that. 769 00:44:17,589 --> 00:44:18,621 He's one of my best customers. 770 00:44:18,623 --> 00:44:21,290 But you know what, he's not getting any younger. 771 00:44:21,292 --> 00:44:23,693 He's walked off teams in two countries, 772 00:44:23,695 --> 00:44:26,095 and he's publicly said he smokes dope. 773 00:44:26,097 --> 00:44:28,297 Come on. Admit it, the guy's a real liability. 774 00:44:28,299 --> 00:44:32,101 Whatever bill does off the field is bill's business. 775 00:44:32,103 --> 00:44:32,535 Nobody else's. 776 00:44:32,537 --> 00:44:35,004 He said in print that the commissioner would be a rich man 777 00:44:35,006 --> 00:44:37,874 if he fined everyone in baseball who smoked grass. 778 00:44:37,876 --> 00:44:41,344 You can't say things like that without suffering consequences. 779 00:44:41,346 --> 00:44:42,445 Well, it's the truth. 780 00:44:42,447 --> 00:44:43,846 Besides, he meant it in jest. 781 00:44:43,848 --> 00:44:44,881 You know bill, he's a joker. 782 00:44:44,883 --> 00:44:47,617 It's like... He's shecky Greene with a curveball. 783 00:44:47,619 --> 00:44:49,052 Oh, really? Guess what. Yeah. 784 00:44:49,054 --> 00:44:53,322 Owners don't want jokers, they don't want jokes, they want profits. 785 00:44:53,324 --> 00:44:56,359 Well, he puts asses in the seats, fans love him. 786 00:44:56,361 --> 00:44:58,461 If you are his friend, you better tell him 787 00:44:58,463 --> 00:45:01,297 he's got to stop spinning his wheels. 788 00:45:01,299 --> 00:45:04,167 Oh, I can't do that. Why not? 789 00:45:06,136 --> 00:45:08,137 It'd break his heart. 790 00:45:08,706 --> 00:45:10,540 Bill Lee was born to play baseball. 791 00:45:10,542 --> 00:45:13,042 It's what he was meant to do. 792 00:45:14,778 --> 00:45:16,312 It's his identity. 793 00:45:16,314 --> 00:45:19,048 Help him find a whole new identity. 794 00:45:19,750 --> 00:45:20,883 And soon. 795 00:45:20,885 --> 00:45:24,554 If he hears this from anybody, he hears it from me. You got it? 796 00:45:24,556 --> 00:45:29,092 Fine. He's all yours. Just do it, all right? 797 00:45:29,094 --> 00:45:31,327 Stop making those phone calls. 798 00:45:37,502 --> 00:45:39,535 Come in. 799 00:45:44,875 --> 00:45:46,442 Come in! 800 00:45:48,445 --> 00:45:50,913 Oh, Dickie Dennis. What's up? 801 00:45:50,915 --> 00:45:52,815 Oh, you're in training, I see. 802 00:45:52,817 --> 00:45:55,184 Can I get you something to drink? You want coffee? 803 00:45:55,186 --> 00:45:56,953 I don't want no coffee. 804 00:45:57,321 --> 00:45:58,888 Something a little stronger? 805 00:45:58,890 --> 00:46:01,290 Well, if you're gonna have one, sure. 806 00:46:01,292 --> 00:46:02,859 All right. 807 00:46:03,594 --> 00:46:04,761 So what's up? 808 00:46:04,763 --> 00:46:07,930 Ah, just... How's the letter writing campaign going? 809 00:46:07,932 --> 00:46:10,066 Well, it's going. It's going. Yeah? 810 00:46:10,068 --> 00:46:14,871 The lack of common courtesy these days. I swear to god. 811 00:46:16,140 --> 00:46:18,608 Hey, you know the best thing about being single? 812 00:46:18,610 --> 00:46:19,575 What's that? 813 00:46:19,577 --> 00:46:21,344 You get to... 814 00:46:21,346 --> 00:46:22,945 whenever you want. 815 00:46:23,782 --> 00:46:26,783 Thanks for sharing, man. 816 00:46:27,484 --> 00:46:30,753 Now, I, uh... 817 00:46:30,755 --> 00:46:32,088 You know, I've been thinking that 818 00:46:32,090 --> 00:46:35,858 we need to start looking at whole new avenues. 819 00:46:35,860 --> 00:46:37,693 I mean, a fresh start. 820 00:46:37,761 --> 00:46:38,795 I agree. 821 00:46:38,797 --> 00:46:40,897 You do? Absolutely. 822 00:46:40,899 --> 00:46:41,364 Really? Yep. 823 00:46:41,366 --> 00:46:45,201 I think it's damn well time we reach out to the American league. 824 00:46:45,869 --> 00:46:48,237 Oh, that's not what I had in mind, bill. 825 00:46:48,239 --> 00:46:50,039 Hey, check this out. 826 00:46:50,607 --> 00:46:51,974 So... 827 00:46:52,676 --> 00:46:55,745 The grip I got for my new slider, you see that? 828 00:46:56,747 --> 00:46:58,080 Yeah? 829 00:46:58,082 --> 00:46:59,248 I want you to keep this between us, 830 00:46:59,250 --> 00:47:01,884 but I would even consider a minor league assignment. 831 00:47:01,886 --> 00:47:04,520 Minor leagues? Oh, come on. Temporarily... 832 00:47:04,522 --> 00:47:06,455 Work my way back up to the show. No. 833 00:47:06,457 --> 00:47:08,591 I would do whatever it takes. 834 00:47:08,593 --> 00:47:10,193 The spaceman is a big leaguer. 835 00:47:10,195 --> 00:47:14,497 Big leaguers do not play in the minor leagues. 836 00:47:14,499 --> 00:47:15,631 You don't want to be known as 837 00:47:15,633 --> 00:47:19,302 the guy who doesn't know when it's time to leave the party. 838 00:47:19,304 --> 00:47:23,272 Yeah, well, I threw nine innings the other day and it felt pretty good. 839 00:47:24,575 --> 00:47:25,875 For who? 840 00:47:26,076 --> 00:47:27,844 It was, uh... 841 00:47:27,846 --> 00:47:30,379 Senior team over in Longueuil. 842 00:47:30,381 --> 00:47:32,181 Oh, fuck, bill! 843 00:47:32,183 --> 00:47:33,216 Are you serious? 844 00:47:33,218 --> 00:47:34,350 Oh, what's the big deal? 845 00:47:34,352 --> 00:47:36,752 What if the press finds out about this, huh? 846 00:47:36,754 --> 00:47:40,756 What? So, so what? It's fucking embarrassing! 847 00:47:41,325 --> 00:47:42,959 What? Maybe not to you. 848 00:47:42,961 --> 00:47:44,961 But it's embarrassing. It reeks of desperation. 849 00:47:44,963 --> 00:47:49,065 And there's no deodorant in the world that will hide the smell for desperation. 850 00:47:49,067 --> 00:47:50,166 I don't give a shit about any of that stuff. 851 00:47:50,168 --> 00:47:54,203 That is for the writers and historians to worry about, not me. 852 00:47:54,205 --> 00:47:55,605 I just wanna play ball. 853 00:48:02,913 --> 00:48:05,147 Well, this is what I want. 854 00:48:06,049 --> 00:48:07,817 I want to get you in a room with a tape recorder 855 00:48:07,819 --> 00:48:11,921 and a jigger of vodka and we're gonna get your stories down. 856 00:48:11,923 --> 00:48:13,856 We're gonna record them. All of them. 857 00:48:13,858 --> 00:48:18,294 And then I'll write it. You know. Yeah. Of course, you will. 858 00:48:18,762 --> 00:48:20,963 Well, I'm a writer, god damn it. 859 00:48:23,367 --> 00:48:26,469 It has every element, every element of a best seller. 860 00:48:26,471 --> 00:48:30,172 We're gonna call it the wrong stuff. 861 00:48:30,674 --> 00:48:31,474 The wrong stuff? 862 00:48:31,476 --> 00:48:34,877 You see, it's a... It's a takeoff on that book about the astronauts... 863 00:48:34,879 --> 00:48:37,213 No, no, no. I get it, the tom Wolfe book. 864 00:48:37,215 --> 00:48:38,848 Okay, listen to this, 865 00:48:38,850 --> 00:48:40,816 I ain't ready to write my memoirs yet, dick. 866 00:48:40,818 --> 00:48:42,785 I'm ready to pitch. To keep pitching 867 00:48:42,787 --> 00:48:44,287 because that's what I do and I do it damn well. 868 00:48:44,289 --> 00:48:48,691 And I'm not desperate. I just want to share my gift with the world. 869 00:48:48,693 --> 00:48:49,058 Okay? 870 00:48:49,060 --> 00:48:53,062 Now I'm gonna go shower, and then we're gonna go get a drink. 871 00:48:54,464 --> 00:48:56,532 Well, good. 'Cause I didn't want to say anything 872 00:48:56,534 --> 00:48:59,502 but the fart was an improvement on the B.O. 873 00:49:03,407 --> 00:49:06,776 I wasn't just gonna sit around by the phone anymore. 874 00:49:06,778 --> 00:49:09,345 I needed to get out and be among the people. 875 00:49:09,347 --> 00:49:10,446 My people. 876 00:49:10,448 --> 00:49:12,448 You know, schmooze. 877 00:49:12,450 --> 00:49:17,453 And when you're a pro athlete, fans never let you buy your own drinks. 878 00:49:18,155 --> 00:49:18,988 The trade-off 879 00:49:18,990 --> 00:49:22,124 is answering a hell of a lot of questions. 880 00:49:22,960 --> 00:49:23,793 Bill. Yeah? 881 00:49:23,795 --> 00:49:25,094 You a, uh, you a religious man? 882 00:49:25,096 --> 00:49:29,832 I'm a Roman catholic Rastafarian zen Buddhist. 883 00:49:29,834 --> 00:49:34,503 Hey, you hear about the Jewish guy who converted to Catholicism? Yeah... 884 00:49:34,505 --> 00:49:37,807 He gave up guilt for lent. 885 00:49:37,874 --> 00:49:40,309 Hey, uh, hey, spaceman yeah? 886 00:49:40,311 --> 00:49:40,876 You still get high? 887 00:49:40,878 --> 00:49:44,647 I have always been in favor of drug testing in sports. Yes. 888 00:49:44,649 --> 00:49:46,349 Really? Yeah, I like to test them all. 889 00:49:46,351 --> 00:49:49,652 I don't know how the hell you do it, man. 890 00:49:49,654 --> 00:49:51,620 Everything in moderation. 891 00:49:51,622 --> 00:49:53,356 Including moderation. 892 00:49:55,759 --> 00:49:57,460 Keep it, keep it. 893 00:49:58,695 --> 00:50:00,763 So, what other avenues we got? 894 00:50:00,765 --> 00:50:04,233 Oh, I, uh... Circling the bases. 895 00:50:04,235 --> 00:50:06,068 Beautiful. What about Detroit? Yeah. 896 00:50:06,070 --> 00:50:08,304 Um, conference call with them next week. 897 00:50:08,306 --> 00:50:09,939 What do you think about California? 898 00:50:09,941 --> 00:50:12,842 I can absolutely deal with living in socal again. 899 00:50:12,844 --> 00:50:15,111 Can hang out with my buddies from the eagles. 900 00:50:15,113 --> 00:50:16,479 They've got great grass out there. 901 00:50:16,481 --> 00:50:18,280 We're gonna get you a place inside Disneyland. 902 00:50:18,282 --> 00:50:20,282 You can just walk over to the ball park. 903 00:50:20,284 --> 00:50:23,719 They'll love you there, there'll be lines all the way out to the gate 904 00:50:23,721 --> 00:50:26,522 for the bill Lee space mountain man. 905 00:50:27,725 --> 00:50:30,426 Fuck that, man. Fuck that. Let's not talk about business. 906 00:50:30,428 --> 00:50:34,163 Tonight is a night for a good time, my friend. A good fucking time. 907 00:50:34,165 --> 00:50:37,566 All right, it works for me. A body in motion stays in motion. 908 00:50:37,568 --> 00:50:39,702 Basic physics. Let's circulate. 909 00:50:39,704 --> 00:50:42,405 Party, Einstein, party! 910 00:51:55,245 --> 00:51:56,178 Somehow, 911 00:51:56,180 --> 00:51:59,415 things eventually went from bad to worse. 912 00:51:59,417 --> 00:52:02,885 I even rented out my basement to a drug dealer. 913 00:52:09,960 --> 00:52:12,761 What? No, no, I'm good. 914 00:52:13,897 --> 00:52:15,664 No, that's rent. 915 00:52:15,666 --> 00:52:20,603 What? For a full month's room and board? Really? 916 00:52:20,804 --> 00:52:24,306 Yeah and that should cover utilities. 917 00:52:30,981 --> 00:52:32,848 Thank you, Gustavo. Got it. 918 00:52:32,850 --> 00:52:34,717 Hey, you got toilet paper? 919 00:52:34,719 --> 00:52:36,352 Yeah, man. 920 00:52:48,465 --> 00:52:52,535 I started partying harder than ever to numb myself 921 00:52:52,537 --> 00:52:58,407 and there was no shortage of other degenerates to hang with. 922 00:52:59,142 --> 00:53:00,876 Good morning. 923 00:53:20,864 --> 00:53:22,565 Are you okay? 924 00:53:23,533 --> 00:53:25,000 You okay? 925 00:54:40,110 --> 00:54:44,380 Hey. How's, uh, how's my favorite mother-in-law? 926 00:54:47,617 --> 00:54:49,385 It's bill. 927 00:54:50,086 --> 00:54:52,221 What does he want? 928 00:54:52,223 --> 00:54:54,156 What is it, bill? 929 00:54:54,158 --> 00:54:54,890 Great news. 930 00:54:54,892 --> 00:54:58,127 I decided that it's time to start playing ball again. 931 00:54:58,129 --> 00:55:00,763 Hmm. L.A.? You always loved the climate there. 932 00:55:00,765 --> 00:55:06,702 No, it's actually a senior team just across the river over in Longueuil. 933 00:55:06,704 --> 00:55:07,603 Long what? 934 00:55:07,605 --> 00:55:10,372 Longueuil. Just across the river. 935 00:55:10,374 --> 00:55:11,573 Oh. Oh, it's nice over there. 936 00:55:11,575 --> 00:55:14,576 I just didn't realize they had a pro team. They don't. 937 00:55:14,578 --> 00:55:16,845 It's a goddamn geriatric league team. 938 00:55:16,847 --> 00:55:19,481 But you know what, it will help me stay sharp. 939 00:55:19,483 --> 00:55:21,517 Do scouts come to these games? 940 00:55:21,519 --> 00:55:22,418 You never know. 941 00:55:22,420 --> 00:55:25,688 You know, I'm starting tomorrow night's game, 942 00:55:25,690 --> 00:55:28,524 thought maybe you could bring the kids by, 943 00:55:28,526 --> 00:55:30,192 watch their old man pitch again. 944 00:55:30,194 --> 00:55:33,462 Oh, I don't know. You know, they have so much homework. 945 00:55:33,464 --> 00:55:34,797 It's tough during the week... 946 00:55:34,799 --> 00:55:37,299 Well, I can pick 'em up from school, 947 00:55:37,301 --> 00:55:39,535 and I thought maybe afterwards... 948 00:55:39,537 --> 00:55:40,969 Maybe you and I could... 949 00:55:40,971 --> 00:55:43,806 I really don't think it's a good idea, bill. 950 00:55:43,907 --> 00:55:47,076 They're just getting used to the adjustment. 951 00:55:47,344 --> 00:55:48,444 Maybe next time. 952 00:55:48,446 --> 00:55:49,745 Look, if you really want to spend more time with them, 953 00:55:49,747 --> 00:55:53,515 Andy's been asking me all week if you can come to one of his games. 954 00:55:53,517 --> 00:55:54,783 He's pitching now. 955 00:55:54,785 --> 00:55:57,152 They can bring their homework to the ballpark, 956 00:55:57,154 --> 00:55:58,854 all right, just, please. 957 00:55:58,856 --> 00:56:00,322 Just bring 'em by. 958 00:56:00,324 --> 00:56:02,758 Bill. Yeah? 959 00:56:02,760 --> 00:56:04,226 Good luck. 960 00:56:08,498 --> 00:56:10,966 Thank god for my buddies from Longueuil. 961 00:56:10,968 --> 00:56:13,902 Because I probably would have ended up just like Elvis... 962 00:56:13,904 --> 00:56:15,504 Dead on the can with my pants down 963 00:56:15,506 --> 00:56:17,506 if they hadn't welcomed me back to the ball club. 964 00:56:17,508 --> 00:56:22,010 I knew this was a universe away from even being in the minor leagues. 965 00:56:22,012 --> 00:56:24,613 But at least it was baseball. 966 00:56:24,615 --> 00:56:26,382 Well, sort of. 967 00:56:26,384 --> 00:56:30,252 Hey, hey. 968 00:56:31,688 --> 00:56:34,490 Whoa? Columbian? 969 00:56:34,657 --> 00:56:36,592 Jamaican special blend. 970 00:56:36,760 --> 00:56:38,694 And it ain't coffee. 971 00:56:39,963 --> 00:56:40,629 Is this what I think it is? 972 00:56:40,631 --> 00:56:45,000 Ganja resin straight from the fields of Kingston, man. 973 00:56:47,937 --> 00:56:49,071 Ooh... 974 00:56:49,073 --> 00:56:51,340 Bullshit. 975 00:56:51,441 --> 00:56:53,175 Only one way to find out. 976 00:56:53,177 --> 00:56:56,345 You crazy, man? We have a game in 20 minutes. 977 00:56:56,446 --> 00:56:57,880 Perfect. 978 00:56:58,014 --> 00:56:59,114 You're nuts, Lee. 979 00:56:59,116 --> 00:57:01,216 Well, that very well may be true, king. 980 00:57:01,218 --> 00:57:03,719 Hey, you ever studied the Bible? 981 00:57:04,421 --> 00:57:05,020 Maybe. 982 00:57:05,022 --> 00:57:07,456 Well, it says that on the sixth day 983 00:57:07,458 --> 00:57:09,124 god created women, right? 984 00:57:09,192 --> 00:57:09,658 Okay. 985 00:57:09,660 --> 00:57:12,227 But on the seventh day, he didn't rest. 986 00:57:12,229 --> 00:57:14,496 He gave us this wonderful game of baseball. 987 00:57:14,498 --> 00:57:18,300 That's why there were so many doubleheaders on Sundays, as a tribute. 988 00:57:18,302 --> 00:57:22,671 But today, he gave us this big old coffee can of ganja. 989 00:57:23,441 --> 00:57:25,407 Man, I haven't gotten high since college. 990 00:57:25,409 --> 00:57:27,342 Shit makes me paranoid. 991 00:57:27,344 --> 00:57:28,744 Come on, Joe. 992 00:57:28,746 --> 00:57:31,013 Who are we even playing today? 993 00:57:31,181 --> 00:57:32,481 Sorel, they suck. 994 00:57:32,483 --> 00:57:33,882 So do we. 995 00:57:33,884 --> 00:57:35,284 Right. 996 00:57:35,685 --> 00:57:37,286 Hey, guys. 997 00:57:37,954 --> 00:57:40,756 Come on, seriously, come on. 998 00:57:40,758 --> 00:57:42,758 We have to loosen up. 999 00:57:43,359 --> 00:57:45,360 It's depressing out there! 1000 00:57:45,362 --> 00:57:49,097 Thinking is like death, okay? 1001 00:57:49,199 --> 00:57:51,700 They call it "playing the game" for a reason. 1002 00:57:51,702 --> 00:57:54,136 And we've all been played this game since we were kids. 1003 00:57:54,138 --> 00:57:55,637 That's a long, long time, 1004 00:57:55,639 --> 00:57:56,371 especially for Larry over there. 1005 00:57:56,373 --> 00:58:00,409 Babe Ruth was Larry's bat boy, that's how old Larry is. 1006 00:58:00,411 --> 00:58:02,144 And we all know how to play this game. 1007 00:58:02,146 --> 00:58:05,180 Okay, maybe some of us play a little bit better than others, 1008 00:58:05,182 --> 00:58:06,181 sorry Claude. 1009 00:58:06,183 --> 00:58:08,884 But it's just muscle memory, that's all. 1010 00:58:09,352 --> 00:58:10,586 Just muscle memory. 1011 00:58:10,588 --> 00:58:14,156 What we're really looking for here is freedom. 1012 00:58:14,324 --> 00:58:15,557 Isn't that why we play this game? 1013 00:58:15,559 --> 00:58:19,728 To run out to that emerald green field and just be free? 1014 00:58:19,730 --> 00:58:20,729 Hell, yeah! 1015 00:58:20,731 --> 00:58:21,263 Look, Joe over here 1016 00:58:21,265 --> 00:58:24,199 just wants to be free of his naggy-ass wife for a few hours. 1017 00:58:24,201 --> 00:58:25,634 Isn't that right, Joe? 1018 00:58:25,636 --> 00:58:26,401 Pretty much. 1019 00:58:26,403 --> 00:58:29,371 Well, we're all looking for freedom, boys. 1020 00:58:29,706 --> 00:58:32,307 Even if it's from our own minds. 1021 00:58:32,876 --> 00:58:35,110 Oh, yes. We do. 1022 00:58:35,712 --> 00:58:37,279 Today, boys, 1023 00:58:37,281 --> 00:58:40,315 we are going to free our minds from our bodies 1024 00:58:40,317 --> 00:58:42,985 and let our instincts take over! 1025 00:58:43,186 --> 00:58:44,620 Today, 1026 00:58:45,755 --> 00:58:48,957 we are gonna pass the proverbial peace pipe from man to man 1027 00:58:48,959 --> 00:58:52,461 and go out there, without fear, into the sunshine 1028 00:58:52,463 --> 00:58:54,463 and just be free! 1029 00:58:54,465 --> 00:58:55,597 Now who's with me? 1030 00:58:57,934 --> 00:58:59,301 I'm gonna step into this office 1031 00:58:59,303 --> 00:59:00,903 and I'm gonna hot-box that motherfucker. 1032 00:59:00,905 --> 00:59:04,373 Now, get in there. Get in there! Get in there! 1033 00:59:04,375 --> 00:59:07,543 Come on, Joe. Come on, Larry. 1034 00:59:10,280 --> 00:59:11,780 All right. 1035 00:59:13,783 --> 00:59:17,986 At the plate that day, I went seven for eight with three home runs. 1036 00:59:17,988 --> 00:59:21,189 Every pitch thrown to me, no matter how fast, 1037 00:59:21,191 --> 00:59:24,626 arrived at the plate like a gentle little leaf. 1038 00:59:24,628 --> 00:59:28,163 I could literally count the seams on the ball. 1039 00:59:28,165 --> 00:59:31,099 All I had to do was catch it on the end of the bat 1040 00:59:31,101 --> 00:59:34,369 and serve it back to the universe. 1041 00:59:34,771 --> 00:59:37,039 And in the outfield? 1042 00:59:37,240 --> 00:59:39,775 I felt no urgency whatsoever. 1043 00:59:39,876 --> 00:59:41,410 Take your time, Billy. 1044 00:59:41,412 --> 00:59:45,380 I'll wait for you to get under me, my friend. 1045 00:59:45,715 --> 00:59:46,214 I love you. 1046 00:59:46,216 --> 00:59:50,218 But on the mound, that is where I channeled the light. 1047 00:59:50,220 --> 00:59:55,223 I combined the sacrifice of Jesus with the Patience of Buddha. 1048 00:59:55,225 --> 00:59:57,993 And then mixed in the control of Sandy Koufax 1049 00:59:57,995 --> 01:00:00,696 just to get a little Judaism in there. 1050 01:00:01,297 --> 01:00:04,600 I was Vishnu in a polyester v-neck. 1051 01:00:04,602 --> 01:00:07,936 The batters tried to guess what pitch I was thinking of throwing, 1052 01:00:07,938 --> 01:00:12,074 but they couldn't because I'd ceased thought entirely. 1053 01:00:12,076 --> 01:00:16,511 With the magic beans keeping us loose but percolating all season, 1054 01:00:16,513 --> 01:00:18,814 I'd led Longueuil straight to the playoffs. 1055 01:00:18,816 --> 01:00:22,384 Forget about the chartered flights and chauffeured team buses. 1056 01:00:22,386 --> 01:00:25,887 We drove ourselves to the games. 1057 01:00:25,989 --> 01:00:28,724 We played until it got too cold. 1058 01:00:28,726 --> 01:00:30,425 And then we played a bit more. 1059 01:00:30,427 --> 01:00:33,762 Of all the teams I'd been on, this was... 1060 01:00:33,764 --> 01:00:34,863 Well, this was one of 'em. 1061 01:00:34,865 --> 01:00:39,034 And every game, I'd just hope that my family would show up 1062 01:00:39,036 --> 01:00:42,004 even just once to watch me play. 1063 01:00:42,805 --> 01:00:47,809 Turns out that if I wanted to spend quality time with my wife again 1064 01:00:47,811 --> 01:00:49,678 it would have to be in court. 1065 01:00:49,680 --> 01:00:53,582 Uh, Mr. Lee, despite the entertainment value of your arguments, 1066 01:00:53,584 --> 01:00:58,186 this court hereby awards Mrs. Lee full custody of the children. 1067 01:00:58,454 --> 01:01:00,155 What? 1068 01:01:00,157 --> 01:01:00,622 Full custody? Why? 1069 01:01:00,624 --> 01:01:04,860 Given the fact that you have rented your basement to a known narcotics dealer... 1070 01:01:04,862 --> 01:01:07,529 this court herby forbids any and all visitation 1071 01:01:07,531 --> 01:01:11,800 pending a visit from family and children's services. 1072 01:01:11,802 --> 01:01:12,467 No visitation? 1073 01:01:12,469 --> 01:01:17,839 This court also awards Mrs. Lee the duplex in Belmont, Massachusetts. 1074 01:01:17,841 --> 01:01:22,077 - The house in Bellingham, Washington. - Jesus Christ! 1075 01:01:22,946 --> 01:01:25,414 Settle yourself, Mr. Lee. 1076 01:01:25,548 --> 01:01:28,784 We also awarded Mrs. Lee the Jeep... 1077 01:01:29,153 --> 01:01:32,421 the BMW, all the furniture... Yep. Sounds about right. 1078 01:01:32,423 --> 01:01:36,425 And the $150,000 remaining in the joint bank account. 1079 01:01:36,427 --> 01:01:41,496 Great! Why don't you just go ahead and take it all. 1080 01:01:43,566 --> 01:01:46,702 To Mr. Lee, we award 1081 01:01:46,704 --> 01:01:49,638 the Volkswagen Van with pop top. 1082 01:01:50,206 --> 01:01:52,307 It's a bus, not a Van. 1083 01:01:53,042 --> 01:01:56,712 The rifle collection, the Salvador Dali paintings, 1084 01:01:56,714 --> 01:01:59,081 and the remaining subscriptions to 1085 01:01:59,083 --> 01:02:03,085 field and stream and weed magazine. 1086 01:02:03,087 --> 01:02:05,387 High times magazine. 1087 01:02:06,055 --> 01:02:07,522 Then we are finished here. 1088 01:02:07,524 --> 01:02:12,227 Wait, can you please tell me what I need to do to see my kids? 1089 01:02:12,328 --> 01:02:13,762 Mr. Lee, we're done. 1090 01:02:13,764 --> 01:02:14,830 No, I'm not going anywhere 1091 01:02:14,832 --> 01:02:18,834 until you tell me what I need to do to see my kids. 1092 01:02:18,968 --> 01:02:22,804 For starters, you need to rid your house of criminals. 1093 01:02:22,806 --> 01:02:25,207 And you need to find gainful employment. 1094 01:02:25,209 --> 01:02:26,575 Look I'm trying. 1095 01:02:27,010 --> 01:02:30,912 I've written letters to every goddamn major league baseball team out there. 1096 01:02:31,147 --> 01:02:32,047 Mr. Lee. 1097 01:02:32,049 --> 01:02:36,051 You know, perhaps it's time for you to find a new profession. 1098 01:02:38,387 --> 01:02:40,789 Thank you. We're done. 1099 01:02:44,460 --> 01:02:46,228 Thank you, your honor. 1100 01:02:46,295 --> 01:02:48,663 Will you get the next group ready? 1101 01:02:48,665 --> 01:02:51,166 No visitation, really? 1102 01:03:01,110 --> 01:03:02,377 I'm sorry. 1103 01:03:10,287 --> 01:03:13,855 All right, how about some guys, who can actually hit and throw and catch? 1104 01:03:13,857 --> 01:03:17,292 Real baseball players. Not just your friends. 1105 01:03:20,663 --> 01:03:22,264 Ooh, ooh, what about Jimmy Lemond? 1106 01:03:22,266 --> 01:03:25,100 Mmm-mmm. No, he works nights. 1107 01:03:25,768 --> 01:03:27,936 Uh, Louis Petit? 1108 01:03:27,938 --> 01:03:31,072 No, he, uh, bowling league. 1109 01:03:31,307 --> 01:03:32,808 Bowling? Yep. 1110 01:03:33,075 --> 01:03:35,010 Bill, any suggestions? 1111 01:03:35,012 --> 01:03:36,745 Uh, I know Mike Schmidt. 1112 01:03:36,747 --> 01:03:40,949 Oh, he's your friend. You think he may play with us? 1113 01:03:41,250 --> 01:03:42,284 No. 1114 01:03:46,389 --> 01:03:50,492 Uh, no. No, thank you. Uh... 1115 01:03:50,593 --> 01:03:52,494 Yeah. Yeah. 1116 01:03:55,998 --> 01:03:57,432 Bill? 1117 01:03:59,035 --> 01:04:01,002 I got news! All right. 1118 01:04:01,004 --> 01:04:02,571 Another round on me. 1119 01:04:03,372 --> 01:04:06,474 What is it, dick? Hey, you comin' to the game on Sunday? 1120 01:04:06,476 --> 01:04:08,176 Uh, not likely. 1121 01:04:08,178 --> 01:04:13,815 I think that we may have found the proverbial needle in the haystack, my friend. 1122 01:04:13,817 --> 01:04:16,618 Just got off the phone with my buddy from San Francisco. 1123 01:04:16,620 --> 01:04:17,152 He owes me a favor. 1124 01:04:17,154 --> 01:04:25,026 And I have gotten you a tryout with San Fran at their spring training facility in Phoenix. 1125 01:04:25,728 --> 01:04:26,027 When? 1126 01:04:26,029 --> 01:04:29,798 Uh, this Friday. There's flights through New York. 1127 01:04:29,899 --> 01:04:31,333 Uh... We've got a huge game 1128 01:04:31,335 --> 01:04:33,435 against new Brunswick on Sunday. 1129 01:04:33,437 --> 01:04:36,571 You got a huge game against new Brunswick? 1130 01:04:36,772 --> 01:04:38,006 Yeah. That's an oxymoron, bill. 1131 01:04:38,008 --> 01:04:42,177 There is no such thing as a huge game against Brunswick. 1132 01:04:43,112 --> 01:04:43,879 Our prayers have been answered 1133 01:04:43,881 --> 01:04:46,114 and quite frankly I didn't think there was a zero chance in hell 1134 01:04:46,116 --> 01:04:48,884 of it ever happening, but it has happened. 1135 01:04:48,886 --> 01:04:50,719 And now, you're gonna pass it up 1136 01:04:50,721 --> 01:04:52,387 because you got a beer league game 1137 01:04:52,389 --> 01:04:55,156 with this bunch of drunk jokers. 1138 01:04:55,158 --> 01:04:56,524 I guess you make a pretty good point. 1139 01:04:56,526 --> 01:04:57,893 Damn right, I make a good point. 1140 01:04:57,895 --> 01:05:01,029 You can't replace pine tar with fixodent. 1141 01:05:01,197 --> 01:05:02,931 And you need to get packing. 1142 01:05:04,400 --> 01:05:05,133 All right. 1143 01:05:05,135 --> 01:05:07,869 Well, I better hit the road. Nice work. 1144 01:05:09,405 --> 01:05:12,474 Hey, guys, I better get going. 1145 01:05:12,909 --> 01:05:15,477 Okay, I'll see you on Sunday. Done? 1146 01:05:15,878 --> 01:05:18,713 Yeah, I'm not gonna be able to play on Sunday. 1147 01:05:19,615 --> 01:05:19,948 What? 1148 01:05:19,950 --> 01:05:22,050 I gotta get in the bus and head out to Arizona. 1149 01:05:22,052 --> 01:05:24,219 I got a tryout with San Francisco. 1150 01:05:24,520 --> 01:05:26,254 Dick over here just set it up. 1151 01:05:27,623 --> 01:05:29,624 Oh, that's great. 1152 01:05:29,626 --> 01:05:32,827 Wait a minute. What about all the crap you've been feeding us about 1153 01:05:32,829 --> 01:05:33,395 all the glitz and greed 1154 01:05:33,397 --> 01:05:36,231 and disloyalty at the major league level. I know. I know. 1155 01:05:36,233 --> 01:05:38,833 That was just me bullshitting me. 1156 01:05:39,302 --> 01:05:40,201 If I don't leave this town soon 1157 01:05:40,203 --> 01:05:43,705 I'm gonna end up bankrupt or dead. Probably both. 1158 01:05:43,707 --> 01:05:44,539 He's going to go. 1159 01:05:44,541 --> 01:05:48,209 Well, man, do what you gotta do. 1160 01:05:48,811 --> 01:05:53,248 Hey, I love each and every one of you guys like brothers. I mean that. 1161 01:05:53,816 --> 01:05:55,250 Okay? 1162 01:05:55,252 --> 01:05:55,884 I'll see you around. 1163 01:05:55,886 --> 01:05:58,653 I'll leave you tickets at will call in San Francisco. 1164 01:05:58,655 --> 01:06:00,689 Hey, what about your tab? 1165 01:06:00,691 --> 01:06:02,190 Oh, yeah! 1166 01:06:02,425 --> 01:06:03,625 "Oh, yeah"? 1167 01:06:03,627 --> 01:06:06,561 "Oh, yeah," what? Okay, you're on. 1168 01:06:06,563 --> 01:06:08,997 I'm puttin' him on you. But I'm not payin' his tab. 1169 01:06:08,999 --> 01:06:11,399 Yes you are. Somebody is. The hell no. 1170 01:06:11,401 --> 01:06:11,833 Nah. Sucker! 1171 01:06:11,835 --> 01:06:15,370 You guys have been sitting here all day. Someone's gotta pay it. 1172 01:07:49,932 --> 01:07:50,765 Hey, boys. Hey. 1173 01:07:50,767 --> 01:07:51,699 Bill Lee. Good to see you. 1174 01:07:51,701 --> 01:07:54,069 How you doin'? I'll see you in there. Good, man. 1175 01:07:54,071 --> 01:07:56,037 For sure. All right. 1176 01:08:04,480 --> 01:08:05,313 Bill Lee? 1177 01:08:05,315 --> 01:08:06,748 Hey, Bruce Lindsay. How are you? 1178 01:08:06,750 --> 01:08:10,085 What in the holy fuck are you doing here? 1179 01:08:10,087 --> 01:08:12,754 I was told that I could try out. By who? 1180 01:08:13,823 --> 01:08:14,989 My agent. 1181 01:08:14,991 --> 01:08:17,258 He said that he spoke to the owner himself. 1182 01:08:17,260 --> 01:08:20,228 I didn't know retired ballplayers had agents. 1183 01:08:21,030 --> 01:08:22,130 I ain't retired. 1184 01:08:22,132 --> 01:08:25,233 Okay? And I just drove here all the goddamn way from Quebec. 1185 01:08:25,235 --> 01:08:27,335 Now, are you gonna let me throw or not? 1186 01:08:27,337 --> 01:08:29,204 You serious? You drove here from Quebec? 1187 01:08:29,206 --> 01:08:30,305 Yep. Why didn't you fly? 1188 01:08:30,307 --> 01:08:32,607 Because I enjoy the open road. 1189 01:08:32,609 --> 01:08:35,376 The wind in my hair. Stones on the radio. 1190 01:08:35,711 --> 01:08:36,978 And I'm broke. 1191 01:08:36,980 --> 01:08:39,247 You are some piece of work, Lee. 1192 01:08:40,349 --> 01:08:41,683 All right, I'll tell you what. 1193 01:08:41,685 --> 01:08:45,120 I'll let you throw batting practice today to the college kids. 1194 01:08:45,354 --> 01:08:46,754 Batting practice? 1195 01:08:47,923 --> 01:08:51,893 Bruce, I don't need your goddamn pity party. All right? 1196 01:08:51,895 --> 01:08:53,828 I do feel sorry for you, but... 1197 01:08:53,830 --> 01:08:54,863 You throw BP for a few days, 1198 01:08:54,865 --> 01:08:57,866 keep your nose clean and we'll see what we can do. 1199 01:08:57,868 --> 01:09:00,268 Besides, this benefits us both. 1200 01:09:00,369 --> 01:09:03,138 Hitting off you will be good for their confidence. 1201 01:09:05,975 --> 01:09:08,176 Can I at least get in uniform? 1202 01:09:09,044 --> 01:09:11,846 No, you're good. 1203 01:09:19,855 --> 01:09:21,956 Whoo-hoo-hoo! 1204 01:09:21,958 --> 01:09:22,557 God, man! 1205 01:09:22,559 --> 01:09:27,629 Shit, who is that? That is Manny moss. 1206 01:09:28,330 --> 01:09:29,564 Ooh! 1207 01:09:29,566 --> 01:09:32,433 Whoo! Yeah! What's my name, huh? 1208 01:09:32,435 --> 01:09:34,569 I think it's probably "douchebag." 1209 01:09:34,737 --> 01:09:36,571 Maury moss' kid. 1210 01:09:36,573 --> 01:09:39,440 Sweetest goddamn swing I've ever seen. 1211 01:09:39,442 --> 01:09:43,044 His attitude's got as much bite as his bat. 1212 01:09:43,379 --> 01:09:45,079 Whoo-hoo-hoo! 1213 01:09:46,216 --> 01:09:48,683 Goodness! Oh, my god! 1214 01:09:48,685 --> 01:09:50,385 Let me at him. 1215 01:09:51,887 --> 01:09:53,755 It's batting practice, bill. I know. 1216 01:09:53,757 --> 01:09:55,957 Just batting practice. Come on. 1217 01:09:55,959 --> 01:09:56,658 All right. 1218 01:09:56,660 --> 01:10:00,395 Go get him. Jim! Come on out. 1219 01:10:28,624 --> 01:10:30,325 Whoo-hee! 1220 01:10:30,860 --> 01:10:34,295 Yeah! Yeah! Get out the tape measures, baby! 1221 01:10:34,297 --> 01:10:37,465 Manny's putting on a clinic today. Yeah. 1222 01:10:40,869 --> 01:10:41,769 Oh. Hey! 1223 01:10:41,771 --> 01:10:44,572 This is supposed to be BP, old man river. 1224 01:10:44,574 --> 01:10:46,574 You wouldn't want to be responsible for an injury 1225 01:10:46,576 --> 01:10:48,710 to a future hall of famer, would you now? 1226 01:10:48,712 --> 01:10:50,044 Look, look, look. Just do your job 1227 01:10:50,046 --> 01:10:51,246 and lay it in there nice and easy. 1228 01:10:51,248 --> 01:10:53,715 Like a sweet kiss from your old lady, huh? 1229 01:10:53,717 --> 01:10:55,883 Your old lady. 1230 01:10:56,418 --> 01:10:59,320 I ain't here to play Patty cake, kiddo. 1231 01:11:13,902 --> 01:11:16,671 Go! Hey, who the fuck is this guy? 1232 01:11:16,673 --> 01:11:18,539 Okay, you want to play like that? 1233 01:11:18,541 --> 01:11:20,441 Let's see what you've got. 1234 01:11:27,017 --> 01:11:28,716 That was nasty. 1235 01:11:31,955 --> 01:11:34,255 What the fuck, man? Fuck, man. 1236 01:11:34,257 --> 01:11:36,090 Whoa, easy. 1237 01:11:36,092 --> 01:11:38,526 What is this, man? Y'all trying to get me hurt out here? 1238 01:11:38,528 --> 01:11:40,361 I'm about to pull a muscle! 1239 01:11:42,731 --> 01:11:44,399 What's he doin'? 1240 01:11:45,000 --> 01:11:46,868 What he knows how to do. 1241 01:11:48,003 --> 01:11:49,437 Compete. 1242 01:11:49,505 --> 01:11:51,406 Get him out of there. 1243 01:11:53,310 --> 01:11:55,009 What kind of stuff is this? 1244 01:11:55,011 --> 01:11:57,578 Supposed to be spring training BP! 1245 01:12:00,149 --> 01:12:00,715 What the fuck was that? 1246 01:12:00,717 --> 01:12:02,450 Oh, come on, what do you want me to do? 1247 01:12:02,452 --> 01:12:04,752 Just lay'em up there for him? Yes. 1248 01:12:04,754 --> 01:12:06,354 It's batting practice. 1249 01:12:06,356 --> 01:12:08,289 I can't have you comin' in here 1250 01:12:08,291 --> 01:12:09,757 and throwin' off a young sluggers timing 1251 01:12:09,759 --> 01:12:12,026 with your grab bag of monkey shit pitches, Lee! 1252 01:12:12,028 --> 01:12:13,094 Look, I'm sorry, all right. I just wanted to 1253 01:12:13,096 --> 01:12:15,330 show you guys what I still got in the tank. 1254 01:12:15,332 --> 01:12:16,464 How about next time I just serve them up 1255 01:12:16,466 --> 01:12:18,433 like little Twinkies on silver platters for you? 1256 01:12:18,435 --> 01:12:20,401 Oh, there's not gonna be any next time. 1257 01:12:20,403 --> 01:12:22,537 We're committed to a youth movement here. 1258 01:12:22,539 --> 01:12:24,605 So, uh, good luck, all of that. 1259 01:12:24,607 --> 01:12:26,641 I'm sorry you wasted your time. 1260 01:12:26,643 --> 01:12:29,644 If anything changes, we'll let you know. 1261 01:12:30,846 --> 01:12:32,747 Yeah. Why don't you go... 1262 01:12:32,749 --> 01:12:34,916 No need to make a scene. 1263 01:12:34,918 --> 01:12:35,683 It's just business. 1264 01:12:35,685 --> 01:12:37,585 Uh-huh. It's just business. 1265 01:12:37,587 --> 01:12:38,753 Where have I heard that before? 1266 01:12:38,755 --> 01:12:40,888 How do you feel about the fact that we're about to 1267 01:12:40,890 --> 01:12:44,192 replace your insubordinate over-the-hill ass... 1268 01:12:44,194 --> 01:12:46,127 immediately from your contract. 1269 01:12:46,129 --> 01:12:47,261 This is a business, Lee! 1270 01:12:47,263 --> 01:12:49,597 Plain and simple, it's a business! 1271 01:12:51,534 --> 01:12:54,435 Fuckin' assholes! 1272 01:12:54,437 --> 01:12:54,836 Guess what? 1273 01:12:54,838 --> 01:13:01,075 Mr. Lee, you know, perhaps it's time for you to find a new profession. 1274 01:13:11,220 --> 01:13:14,255 Hey! Hey, hey, hey, hey! 1275 01:13:14,556 --> 01:13:18,059 Sorry about that, bill. Listen. 1276 01:13:18,727 --> 01:13:20,461 I respect your tenacity. 1277 01:13:20,463 --> 01:13:21,195 More of us do than you know. 1278 01:13:21,197 --> 01:13:24,732 We all know you play the game for the right reasons. 1279 01:13:24,800 --> 01:13:29,303 Hey, you won 119 major league games. 1280 01:13:29,305 --> 01:13:31,773 I don't know whose daughter you humped up in Montreal, 1281 01:13:31,775 --> 01:13:34,776 but somebody's got it out for you big time. 1282 01:13:34,778 --> 01:13:38,846 Who does? Who doesn't is the question. 1283 01:13:38,848 --> 01:13:42,750 You've been banned from the big leagues, kid. Plain and simple. 1284 01:13:44,187 --> 01:13:45,887 Hey, you didn't hear it from me, 1285 01:13:45,889 --> 01:13:49,690 but Cleveland's looking for a minor league pitching coach down in Tucson. 1286 01:13:49,692 --> 01:13:53,461 I told them you might show up for an interview tomorrow. 1287 01:13:54,496 --> 01:13:56,230 A coaching job? 1288 01:13:56,465 --> 01:13:57,632 No, man, I don't want to coach. 1289 01:13:57,634 --> 01:13:59,400 I want to pitch. I'm a pitcher. 1290 01:13:59,402 --> 01:14:01,969 - It's not gonna happen. - That's life. 1291 01:14:01,971 --> 01:14:03,638 You know the game. 1292 01:14:03,739 --> 01:14:06,841 Go make a steady paycheck. Teach what you know. 1293 01:14:09,011 --> 01:14:11,179 I appreciate the information. 1294 01:14:11,313 --> 01:14:13,581 You're one of the good ones, Marv. 1295 01:14:13,583 --> 01:14:15,483 Thank you. Okay. 1296 01:14:17,620 --> 01:14:18,853 Keep fighting the good fight. 1297 01:14:18,855 --> 01:14:20,388 All right, take care. 1298 01:15:39,234 --> 01:15:40,434 Hello. 1299 01:15:40,436 --> 01:15:41,536 Hey, honey. 1300 01:15:41,538 --> 01:15:43,704 What time is it? Where are you? 1301 01:15:43,972 --> 01:15:45,306 I'm in Arizona. 1302 01:15:45,308 --> 01:15:48,109 Had a tryout with San Francisco today. 1303 01:15:48,111 --> 01:15:49,944 Arizona? You did? 1304 01:15:49,946 --> 01:15:51,579 Well, that's great. 1305 01:15:52,080 --> 01:15:52,713 How did it go? 1306 01:15:52,715 --> 01:15:54,415 Well, I thought that I did great but, uh, 1307 01:15:54,417 --> 01:15:59,053 apparently, they are committed to a youth movement, whatever the hell that means. 1308 01:15:59,055 --> 01:16:00,388 How long are you gone? 1309 01:16:00,390 --> 01:16:01,322 I'm gonna be a while. 1310 01:16:01,324 --> 01:16:03,124 I got a lead on something in Tucson. 1311 01:16:03,126 --> 01:16:06,227 Look, uh, can I please speak to the kids? 1312 01:16:06,229 --> 01:16:08,996 They're all sleeping. It's late here. 1313 01:16:09,264 --> 01:16:11,065 Call tomorrow. Okay? 1314 01:16:13,602 --> 01:16:16,170 Can I ask you an honest question? 1315 01:16:16,572 --> 01:16:18,005 Of course. 1316 01:16:18,473 --> 01:16:20,141 Do you still love me? 1317 01:16:23,078 --> 01:16:24,612 Bill... 1318 01:16:26,748 --> 01:16:30,785 What is it? Because I'm not in the majors anymore, is that it? 1319 01:16:30,787 --> 01:16:32,753 Is that really what you think? 1320 01:16:32,755 --> 01:16:34,021 I don't know. Why don't you tell me? 1321 01:16:34,023 --> 01:16:36,591 I love you enough to tell you the truth. 1322 01:16:36,593 --> 01:16:38,326 It'd be nice if you would stick up for your kids 1323 01:16:38,328 --> 01:16:42,563 the way you stick up for your team mates all the time. 1324 01:16:54,610 --> 01:16:56,410 Well, what about you? 1325 01:16:56,612 --> 01:16:57,511 What about us? 1326 01:16:57,513 --> 01:16:59,046 I'm not sure that things can be 1327 01:16:59,048 --> 01:17:01,816 salvaged between us at this point. 1328 01:17:01,883 --> 01:17:03,651 But we can be friends. 1329 01:17:05,654 --> 01:17:07,622 The kids need that too. 1330 01:17:09,224 --> 01:17:11,225 But they need you here. 1331 01:17:11,460 --> 01:17:15,763 You've been on the road for 14 years. 1332 01:17:15,765 --> 01:17:17,999 It's time to come home. 1333 01:17:19,401 --> 01:17:21,302 I'm going to bed. 1334 01:17:21,304 --> 01:17:22,737 Wait, wait, wait. 1335 01:17:23,238 --> 01:17:24,739 Good night. 1336 01:17:24,741 --> 01:17:26,440 Call them tomorrow. 1337 01:17:28,644 --> 01:17:30,344 Call... 1338 01:17:55,570 --> 01:17:59,540 You know the most frustrating thing about ex-wives. 1339 01:18:03,513 --> 01:18:07,048 Sometimes they're friggin' right. 1340 01:19:23,892 --> 01:19:25,626 Howdy, neighbors! 1341 01:19:26,461 --> 01:19:30,731 Passport? Vehicle registration? Uh, right. 1342 01:19:30,733 --> 01:19:32,500 Let's see. 1343 01:19:35,971 --> 01:19:37,338 I could've sworn I brought the darn thing. 1344 01:19:37,340 --> 01:19:40,241 They didn't ask for it on the us side when I was coming through. 1345 01:19:40,243 --> 01:19:43,677 I thought Canadians were supposed to be the friendly ones, eh? 1346 01:19:44,247 --> 01:19:49,283 If you don't have a passport or any ID, you're gonna need to step out of the car. 1347 01:19:49,417 --> 01:19:51,385 Uh... 1348 01:19:51,387 --> 01:19:54,121 What have we got here? He smelled something. 1349 01:19:54,123 --> 01:19:57,725 We can work this out. I'm late for a baseball game. 1350 01:19:57,727 --> 01:19:59,560 Name's Lee. Bill Lee. 1351 01:19:59,795 --> 01:20:01,362 I'm a ball player. 1352 01:20:01,830 --> 01:20:04,865 I don't care if you're late for your fuckin' wedding. 1353 01:20:04,933 --> 01:20:06,967 Get out of the car, now. 1354 01:20:07,602 --> 01:20:09,336 What have we got? 1355 01:20:09,338 --> 01:20:12,573 This guy's got no ID. 1356 01:20:12,774 --> 01:20:14,275 He says he's a professional athlete. 1357 01:20:14,277 --> 01:20:17,645 Wants some special treatment. And then there's this. 1358 01:20:20,382 --> 01:20:21,615 Really? 1359 01:20:21,617 --> 01:20:23,717 What hockey team you play for? 1360 01:20:23,719 --> 01:20:25,486 I'm a baseball player. 1361 01:20:25,587 --> 01:20:26,554 Oh. 1362 01:20:26,556 --> 01:20:30,457 Well, then you gotta step out of the vehicle. 1363 01:20:30,859 --> 01:20:34,662 I wasn't looking for any special treatment, fellas. 1364 01:20:34,664 --> 01:20:35,396 I'm just a friendly American. 1365 01:20:35,398 --> 01:20:40,167 Hell, if it were up to me there wouldn't be any borders between these two countries. 1366 01:20:40,535 --> 01:20:42,403 Save the stump speech. 1367 01:20:44,272 --> 01:20:45,773 Wait a second. 1368 01:20:45,775 --> 01:20:47,875 Are you the spaceman, bill Lee? 1369 01:20:47,877 --> 01:20:48,642 Yes, sir. 1370 01:20:48,644 --> 01:20:52,079 William Francis ii. Pleasure to meet you boys. 1371 01:20:52,581 --> 01:20:54,548 I saw you in high times. 1372 01:20:54,916 --> 01:20:57,117 Um... not that I read it. 1373 01:20:57,119 --> 01:20:57,751 Well... 1374 01:20:57,753 --> 01:21:00,654 But, man... boy, Montreal fucked you proper, bill. Yeah. 1375 01:21:00,656 --> 01:21:04,692 You've got brass balls standing up for little Rodney Scott like that. 1376 01:21:04,694 --> 01:21:06,026 Yeah. Well. 1377 01:21:06,028 --> 01:21:06,694 Where you going? 1378 01:21:06,696 --> 01:21:09,330 Well, I've, uh, I've actually been playing with 1379 01:21:09,332 --> 01:21:11,265 a great group of guys over in Longueuil. 1380 01:21:11,267 --> 01:21:15,436 You know, I left them behind to go try out for San Francisco, 1381 01:21:15,438 --> 01:21:17,004 which was a big fuckin' mistake. 1382 01:21:17,006 --> 01:21:18,339 Anyway, they got a game tonight 1383 01:21:18,341 --> 01:21:20,474 against a bunch of ugly plumbers from new Brunswick, 1384 01:21:20,476 --> 01:21:22,443 and I'm just trying to get back so I can pitch. 1385 01:21:22,445 --> 01:21:25,779 What the heck you playing for Longueuil for? 1386 01:21:25,781 --> 01:21:26,447 They need me. 1387 01:21:26,449 --> 01:21:29,650 You heard the man. He's got a ball game to pitch. 1388 01:21:29,652 --> 01:21:31,352 Go on. Get out of here. 1389 01:21:31,586 --> 01:21:33,387 All right. I'll just... 1390 01:21:33,555 --> 01:21:35,155 I'm gonna hang on to the coffee, though. 1391 01:21:35,157 --> 01:21:37,191 Smells like pretty good shit. 1392 01:21:37,359 --> 01:21:38,792 Take care. 1393 01:21:38,794 --> 01:21:40,661 Go ahead. Go on. 1394 01:21:40,795 --> 01:21:42,796 Okay. Yeah, of course. 1395 01:21:54,409 --> 01:21:56,477 Look, I screwed up. 1396 01:21:56,479 --> 01:21:58,812 Even though I had the best intentions. 1397 01:21:58,814 --> 01:22:03,317 But once I realized no major league club would ever hire me again, 1398 01:22:03,319 --> 01:22:05,319 I didn't get angry. 1399 01:22:05,321 --> 01:22:06,954 I got defiant. 1400 01:22:07,088 --> 01:22:09,924 Screw those guys. Who needs them? 1401 01:22:11,393 --> 01:22:14,662 The owners had done me a favor, chucking me out of their sport. 1402 01:22:14,664 --> 01:22:19,333 Now I could travel the world searching for the game in its purest form. 1403 01:22:19,335 --> 01:22:23,037 Hardball, softball, wiffle ball, cricket. 1404 01:22:23,039 --> 01:22:27,241 Pay me in cash, pay me in lager, don't pay me at all. 1405 01:22:27,475 --> 01:22:29,043 But I'll be there. 1406 01:22:29,045 --> 01:22:31,478 Ready to get guys out. 1407 01:22:46,127 --> 01:22:47,761 Good morning! 1408 01:22:50,532 --> 01:22:51,532 Hey! 1409 01:23:12,120 --> 01:23:17,091 I get invited to come and throw out the first pitch a lot these days. 1410 01:23:17,592 --> 01:23:22,363 And I tell 'em, only if I can throw out all the rest. 1411 01:23:23,598 --> 01:23:26,967 Bill "the spaceman" Lee! 1412 01:23:40,415 --> 01:23:43,817 I keep playing because I have no choice. 1413 01:23:44,686 --> 01:23:46,754 I'm a ball player. 1414 01:23:47,122 --> 01:23:48,922 As Jim Bouton once said, 1415 01:23:48,924 --> 01:23:52,826 "you spend a good piece of your life gripping a baseball. 1416 01:23:52,828 --> 01:23:59,466 "And in the end, it turns out that it was the other way around."