1 00:00:45,866 --> 00:00:48,327 If someone had asked me not long ago... 2 00:00:48,410 --> 00:00:52,289 why I thought it was that men left women and never came back, 3 00:00:52,372 --> 00:00:54,917 I would have said this: 4 00:00:55,000 --> 00:00:56,919 "New cow." 5 00:00:57,002 --> 00:01:01,173 The new cow theory was born of a broken heart. 6 00:01:01,256 --> 00:01:04,217 It came to me while reading an article on male behavior... 7 00:01:04,301 --> 00:01:06,345 in the New York Times science section, 8 00:01:06,428 --> 00:01:09,514 which chronicled a particularly fascinating study... 9 00:01:09,556 --> 00:01:13,393 on the mating preferences of the male cow. 10 00:01:14,645 --> 00:01:18,565 First, a bull was presented with... 11 00:01:18,649 --> 00:01:21,234 A cow. 12 00:01:21,318 --> 00:01:23,236 They mated. 13 00:01:26,573 --> 00:01:31,119 The next day, the bull was presented with the same cow. 14 00:01:33,205 --> 00:01:35,123 The bull wasn't interested. 15 00:01:35,207 --> 00:01:37,584 He wanted new cow, 16 00:01:37,668 --> 00:01:40,254 and this was old cow. 17 00:01:44,633 --> 00:01:47,052 Curious to see if they could trick the bull, 18 00:01:47,094 --> 00:01:50,055 the scientists came up with an ingenious ploy. 19 00:01:50,097 --> 00:01:55,519 - Do not disappoint Daddy. - The old cow was smeared with new cow scent... 20 00:01:55,602 --> 00:01:59,273 - Doesn't that feel good? - But he was no fool. 21 00:01:59,356 --> 00:02:01,608 This wasn't new cow. 22 00:02:01,692 --> 00:02:04,611 This was just old cow incognito. 23 00:02:04,653 --> 00:02:07,739 Old cow in sheep's clothing. 24 00:02:07,823 --> 00:02:11,243 Mutton dressed as lamb. 25 00:02:16,957 --> 00:02:19,293 But I'm getting ahead of myself. 26 00:02:19,334 --> 00:02:23,297 To really understand the theory and how it took over my entire existence, 27 00:02:23,338 --> 00:02:25,716 you need to hear the whole story. 28 00:02:27,175 --> 00:02:29,136 When Ray came into my life, 29 00:02:29,177 --> 00:02:32,264 I was booking talent for the Diane Roberts Show, 30 00:02:32,306 --> 00:02:36,268 a local New York talk show that had just been syndicated nationally. 31 00:02:36,351 --> 00:02:39,104 The network had given us a small window of opportunity... 32 00:02:39,146 --> 00:02:41,148 in which to make something of ourselves. 33 00:02:41,231 --> 00:02:43,275 We're back with Mary Lou Corkle, 34 00:02:43,358 --> 00:02:45,611 outspoken conservative activist, 35 00:02:45,694 --> 00:02:49,615 who's here to talk about her new book The Nest Crisis. 36 00:02:49,656 --> 00:02:52,534 One of your central arguments, Mary Lou, 37 00:02:52,618 --> 00:02:56,997 is to blame society's problems on working mothers. 38 00:02:57,039 --> 00:02:59,541 Diane was determined to strike pay dirt with her audience... 39 00:02:59,625 --> 00:03:03,086 by appealing to both their understimulated intelligence... 40 00:03:03,170 --> 00:03:06,924 and their overstimulated appetite for tabloid television. 41 00:03:07,007 --> 00:03:09,051 Ambition has blinded these women... 42 00:03:09,134 --> 00:03:12,094 - to their responsibilities to their families. - And so, by your standards, 43 00:03:12,119 --> 00:03:16,308 doing what I do makes me unfit for motherhood. 44 00:03:16,391 --> 00:03:18,977 Well, we make our own beds, don't we? 45 00:03:19,019 --> 00:03:22,648 That is true. Just out of curiosity, Mary Lou, 46 00:03:22,689 --> 00:03:24,650 who's been making your kids' beds... 47 00:03:24,691 --> 00:03:27,694 while you've been out selling your book these past three months? 48 00:03:27,778 --> 00:03:31,198 My job was to supply a steady diet of raw meat... 49 00:03:31,281 --> 00:03:33,992 to satisfy Diane's Emmy-clad ambitions. 50 00:03:34,076 --> 00:03:36,161 Hi, Donald. Did you hear? We've gone national. 51 00:03:36,245 --> 00:03:38,205 Thanks. Well, it's a new format. 52 00:03:38,247 --> 00:03:40,207 We're just starting up major exposure, 53 00:03:40,249 --> 00:03:42,334 and I think it's right up Hillary's alley. 54 00:03:42,376 --> 00:03:46,171 She'd be among the first. I'm lining up great company. Trust me, everyone wants on. 55 00:03:46,255 --> 00:03:48,674 My only colleague in this quest... 56 00:03:48,715 --> 00:03:52,427 was our writer, producer and pathological womanizer Eddie Alden. 57 00:03:52,511 --> 00:03:54,429 How are we doin'? 58 00:03:54,513 --> 00:03:56,431 Publisher's having a coronary. 59 00:03:56,515 --> 00:03:58,475 - That good? - You book 'em, I cook 'em. 60 00:03:58,558 --> 00:04:01,311 Right on. Yeah. 61 00:04:01,395 --> 00:04:04,773 Thank you very much. We are here talking to Mary Lou Corkle. 62 00:04:04,856 --> 00:04:07,109 Any progress with Cuba? 63 00:04:07,192 --> 00:04:09,861 Well, just keep trying. I swear to God. 64 00:04:09,945 --> 00:04:12,823 This Castro thing is gonna kill me. I mean, it is insane. 65 00:04:12,906 --> 00:04:15,075 - She will not let it go. - Forget Castro. Come on. 66 00:04:15,158 --> 00:04:18,370 - I mean, what you want is a more creative angle. - Such as? 67 00:04:18,453 --> 00:04:21,582 - Elena Villagolla. - Who? 68 00:04:21,665 --> 00:04:25,544 One of the women the C.I.A. Hired to try and kill him back in the sixties. 69 00:04:25,586 --> 00:04:28,672 Excuse me. I believe this is a smoke-free building. 70 00:04:28,755 --> 00:04:34,136 Blow me. Apparently, the C.I.A. Cooked up this death oil that could pass as perfume. 71 00:04:34,219 --> 00:04:37,389 The idea was she'd rub it on, Castro would be kissin' her and lickin' her... 72 00:04:37,431 --> 00:04:41,143 - Don't editorialize. - Sorry. He was supposed to croak right after. 73 00:04:41,226 --> 00:04:45,606 Eddie could find the sex factor in just about any subject. 74 00:04:45,647 --> 00:04:48,150 He, of course, considered this a gift. 75 00:04:48,233 --> 00:04:52,237 - Nina, you left these earrings in my bathroom. - You don't waste any time. 76 00:04:52,321 --> 00:04:53,989 - Cynic. - Slut. 77 00:04:54,323 --> 00:04:58,285 But if Eddie was enough to make me lose hope in all men, 78 00:04:58,368 --> 00:05:00,871 it only took one to bring it back again. 79 00:05:00,954 --> 00:05:02,581 - Hey, Rick. - How you doin', Eddie? 80 00:05:02,623 --> 00:05:04,743 You are the only one I haven't met yet. I'm Ray Brown. 81 00:05:07,127 --> 00:05:10,923 - This is our new executive producer. - From Washington. 82 00:05:11,006 --> 00:05:15,010 I saw that piece you produced for Newsline. That was brilliant. 83 00:05:15,093 --> 00:05:17,429 Thank you very much. 84 00:05:17,512 --> 00:05:20,512 We just did a follow-up piece. That's why I'm a little late getting up here. 85 00:05:20,537 --> 00:05:22,100 Well, I better scoot. 86 00:05:22,184 --> 00:05:25,424 Jane, you want me to get 'em to turn the A.C. Up? You're looking a little flushed. 87 00:05:26,897 --> 00:05:28,774 Okay. 88 00:05:30,275 --> 00:05:33,570 - Jane Goodale. - I know. That's an interesting name. 89 00:05:33,654 --> 00:05:36,615 - People must confuse you with the scientist. - Yeah. 90 00:05:36,657 --> 00:05:39,660 - They're always asking me if I'm into chimps. - Are you? 91 00:05:39,701 --> 00:05:42,871 Not really. I mean, maybe Curious George when I was five. 92 00:05:42,955 --> 00:05:45,332 Curious George was a monkey, not a chimp. 93 00:05:45,415 --> 00:05:48,252 - A man who knows his primates. - Yes, I do. 94 00:05:48,335 --> 00:05:52,631 See you around. I heard Len Chaney's people are giving you a hard time. 95 00:05:52,714 --> 00:05:55,634 Yeah, they're afraid it's gonna turn into an abortion debate and get ugly. 96 00:05:55,659 --> 00:05:57,636 Which is right. 97 00:05:57,678 --> 00:06:00,555 - Of course. - So guarantee Diane won't bring it up, 98 00:06:00,639 --> 00:06:03,642 and we'll plant somebody in the audience to initiate it during Q&A. 99 00:06:03,725 --> 00:06:06,853 I think you came to the right show, Ray Brown. 100 00:06:09,898 --> 00:06:11,858 - So he's cute. - Very. 101 00:06:11,900 --> 00:06:14,069 Care to elaborate? 102 00:06:14,152 --> 00:06:18,865 Pale blue eyes, athletic, sort of J. Crew, but not as preppy. 103 00:06:18,949 --> 00:06:22,828 - That guy again. - Are you going to buy anything or not? 104 00:06:22,911 --> 00:06:25,706 - Shush! I'm concentrating! - Okay. 105 00:06:25,789 --> 00:06:28,292 - Marital status? - Girlfriend. 106 00:06:28,375 --> 00:06:30,419 Why are we having this conversation? 107 00:06:30,502 --> 00:06:32,713 You know what? You're right. He's too much work. 108 00:06:32,796 --> 00:06:34,923 And even if I were up to it, with my luck, 109 00:06:35,007 --> 00:06:37,134 he'd probably end up marrying her anyway. 110 00:06:37,217 --> 00:06:41,013 There's the cynical bitch I know and love. 111 00:06:41,096 --> 00:06:44,266 So that's it. Case closed. Leaving this one alone. 112 00:06:44,349 --> 00:06:46,935 You feeling carnivorous? 113 00:06:47,019 --> 00:06:49,605 Absolutely. 114 00:06:52,065 --> 00:06:54,776 So what else do I need to know about you, 115 00:06:54,860 --> 00:06:57,779 apart from your addiction to processed foods, 116 00:06:57,863 --> 00:06:59,948 much to the chagrin of your girlfriend? 117 00:07:01,408 --> 00:07:03,785 "D." 118 00:07:03,869 --> 00:07:07,372 - Whom you've been dating now for... - Three years. 119 00:07:07,456 --> 00:07:09,541 Three... 120 00:07:09,625 --> 00:07:13,587 Excuse me. Three years. That's... 121 00:07:13,629 --> 00:07:16,882 More serious than I... 122 00:07:16,924 --> 00:07:19,051 would've guessed, you know, off the cuff. 123 00:07:20,344 --> 00:07:22,262 I guess it is. 124 00:07:22,346 --> 00:07:26,224 You think you ever get to the moment where you just know it's the right one? 125 00:07:27,935 --> 00:07:30,228 That's it. 126 00:07:30,312 --> 00:07:32,940 That's the person you're meant to be with forever. 127 00:07:36,485 --> 00:07:38,528 Probably. 128 00:07:39,947 --> 00:07:41,949 God, he was cute. 129 00:07:43,200 --> 00:07:46,453 - It's me! - We're in here. 130 00:07:46,536 --> 00:07:48,538 What's the problem? Just jab it in. 131 00:07:48,622 --> 00:07:51,083 - Don't rush me. - What is going on? 132 00:07:51,124 --> 00:07:53,543 Dr. Lipshick started your sister on injections. 133 00:07:53,627 --> 00:07:57,381 - Of orange juice? - Fertility drugs, Jane. 134 00:07:57,464 --> 00:07:59,716 The orange is for practice. 135 00:08:01,260 --> 00:08:03,740 For God's sake, Stephen, if you can't stick it into a Valencia, 136 00:08:03,824 --> 00:08:06,504 - How are you gonna stick it in my ass? - I'm just a little nervous. 137 00:08:06,529 --> 00:08:09,971 If this isn't done right, we could lose another whole month. 138 00:08:15,649 --> 00:08:18,360 That was supposed to be my job. 139 00:08:18,443 --> 00:08:20,362 I just wanted to show you how easy it is. 140 00:08:20,445 --> 00:08:22,531 You know, this is a very emotional time for us, 141 00:08:22,614 --> 00:08:26,076 and you're sucking the romance out of the entire situation. 142 00:08:26,159 --> 00:08:29,705 Oh, come on, sweetheart. I think we've pretty much kissed romance good-bye... 143 00:08:29,788 --> 00:08:32,457 when you started jacking off into a cup once a week. 144 00:08:32,541 --> 00:08:34,459 Leave my sperm count out of it! 145 00:08:36,336 --> 00:08:39,631 Chubby Hubby? 146 00:08:39,673 --> 00:08:43,385 Come on, sweetie. I'll look at the dirty magazines with you this time. 147 00:08:43,468 --> 00:08:45,846 I don't think you should... Enough about it! 148 00:08:50,058 --> 00:08:52,644 That's great. Just great. 149 00:08:52,686 --> 00:08:55,314 Very nice, Nina. Very grown up. 150 00:08:55,355 --> 00:08:57,482 At least one of us is. 151 00:08:57,566 --> 00:08:59,484 Good morning. 152 00:08:59,568 --> 00:09:03,447 Don't bother, Eddie. I already know you're an asshole. 153 00:09:03,530 --> 00:09:06,241 Hey, you're always complaining your apartment's too small. 154 00:09:06,325 --> 00:09:08,410 Why don't you move in with me? 155 00:09:08,493 --> 00:09:10,954 - You cannot be serious. - Why not? 156 00:09:11,038 --> 00:09:13,081 Come on. All I'm meeting are hip, successful types. 157 00:09:13,165 --> 00:09:15,325 - I'd much rather have someone like you. - Gee, thanks. 158 00:09:15,350 --> 00:09:18,295 No, hey. This would be a strictly financial arrangement. 159 00:09:18,378 --> 00:09:20,839 I've got no interest in you that way whatsoever. 160 00:09:20,881 --> 00:09:23,300 - What a relief. - Come on. Is that a no? 161 00:09:23,383 --> 00:09:27,012 Actually, it's a "Thanks, but not if my life depended on it." 162 00:09:28,221 --> 00:09:30,724 In the dark 163 00:09:30,807 --> 00:09:33,518 I can hear 164 00:09:33,602 --> 00:09:35,854 You whisper 165 00:09:38,398 --> 00:09:41,526 Shadows still 166 00:09:41,610 --> 00:09:44,404 Move across 167 00:09:44,488 --> 00:09:46,406 The distance 168 00:09:47,532 --> 00:09:51,495 - Hello. - You up for a walk? 169 00:09:51,578 --> 00:09:53,747 What did you say 170 00:09:53,830 --> 00:09:56,250 It's okay 171 00:10:00,504 --> 00:10:03,298 Did you miss me 172 00:10:05,759 --> 00:10:08,095 Did you miss me 173 00:10:11,014 --> 00:10:13,350 Make it mine 174 00:10:13,433 --> 00:10:15,894 Takin'time 175 00:10:15,978 --> 00:10:18,021 - What? - What? 176 00:10:19,314 --> 00:10:21,358 I was just gonna... 177 00:10:22,818 --> 00:10:25,737 I can't speak. You say something. 178 00:10:25,821 --> 00:10:29,992 No, no, no, don't. Do you think I'm insane? 179 00:10:32,035 --> 00:10:34,162 Not at all. 180 00:10:38,041 --> 00:10:41,461 I was just thinking how good my apartment looks with you in it. 181 00:10:42,879 --> 00:10:45,465 Did you miss me 182 00:10:48,302 --> 00:10:50,554 Did you miss me 183 00:10:55,642 --> 00:10:57,644 You know at times I wonder 184 00:10:57,728 --> 00:11:00,772 If you ever thought of me 185 00:11:00,856 --> 00:11:06,361 And I wonder if you wanted to be free like me 186 00:11:12,910 --> 00:11:15,454 Let's start again. You were eating Cocoa Puffs. 187 00:11:15,537 --> 00:11:17,539 - Right. - Then a couple cartoons. 188 00:11:17,623 --> 00:11:20,751 - A Tweety Bird and a Road Runner, I think. - Then some more kissing. 189 00:11:20,834 --> 00:11:22,920 - Right. - Okay, go on. 190 00:11:23,003 --> 00:11:26,089 We had to get ready for work, so I walk into the door, and he gave me a... 191 00:11:26,173 --> 00:11:28,133 - Morning, Jane. - Morning, Les. How are ya? 192 00:11:28,175 --> 00:11:32,179 - Big finale-type kiss before leaving? - Exactly. 193 00:11:32,262 --> 00:11:34,973 That's good, good, good. Very good, considering. 194 00:11:35,015 --> 00:11:38,852 - Considering what? - Considering he's already picked out his wife. 195 00:11:38,936 --> 00:11:42,689 I told you, Liz, they're having problems. 196 00:11:42,773 --> 00:11:45,651 - They're not engaged. - Yet. 197 00:11:45,692 --> 00:11:49,738 Nevertheless, he does sound like an interesting prospect, so here's what you do. 198 00:11:49,821 --> 00:11:53,909 Pretend she doesn't exist. Never mention her name. 199 00:11:53,992 --> 00:11:56,432 If he mentions her, you just nod politely, change the subject. 200 00:11:56,457 --> 00:11:57,955 - Why? - Because if you bring her up, 201 00:11:58,038 --> 00:11:59,957 he's gonna feel pushed and resentful. 202 00:12:00,040 --> 00:12:01,959 This way, it's like, "I'm healthy, I'm happy. 203 00:12:02,042 --> 00:12:03,961 No pressure. Getting sex other places." 204 00:12:04,044 --> 00:12:07,172 - It's gonna drive him nuts. - Lizzy, where do you get this stuff? 205 00:12:07,256 --> 00:12:10,259 Snagmen. Com. It's very informative. 206 00:12:10,342 --> 00:12:12,761 - Odd. - Read the papers, Jane. 207 00:12:12,844 --> 00:12:15,389 23-year-old women are lying about their age, 208 00:12:15,472 --> 00:12:19,059 so excuse me, Miss "I have a crush, so I'm currently in denial." 209 00:12:19,142 --> 00:12:21,061 You gotta get on your game. 210 00:12:21,144 --> 00:12:24,147 You know what I really need to know? What do I do right now... 211 00:12:24,231 --> 00:12:26,984 when I see him in my staff meeting in five minutes? 212 00:12:27,067 --> 00:12:30,153 That's easy. Pretend he doesn't exist. 213 00:12:32,614 --> 00:12:34,700 Well, good morning, Eddie. 214 00:12:40,289 --> 00:12:43,834 - What is on your neck? - I bit myself shaving. 215 00:12:43,917 --> 00:12:46,712 Isn't that why God invented turtlenecks? 216 00:12:46,795 --> 00:12:51,008 - No. That's why God invented Darlene. - You are so gross. 217 00:12:51,091 --> 00:12:53,552 - Hey, Eddie. Hi, Jane. - Hey, Ray. 218 00:12:53,635 --> 00:12:56,471 Hey, Ray. Mornin'. 219 00:13:00,142 --> 00:13:02,227 You okay? You look a little tired. 220 00:13:02,311 --> 00:13:04,229 Morning, Diane. 221 00:13:04,313 --> 00:13:07,024 Straw. 222 00:13:07,107 --> 00:13:10,027 - Okay. I'm late, I know. I'm sorry. - Morning. 223 00:13:10,110 --> 00:13:13,822 I locked myself out of the apartment. Keys, wallet, total nightmare. 224 00:13:13,906 --> 00:13:15,908 The only reason I'm standing here right now... 225 00:13:15,991 --> 00:13:19,244 is because of Habib, the nicest cab driver in the city of New York. 226 00:13:19,286 --> 00:13:22,289 Okay, now, who saw ABC's 4 a. m. Newscast? 227 00:13:22,331 --> 00:13:25,083 I think a lot of us missed that, Diane. 228 00:13:25,167 --> 00:13:28,921 There's a big story on how single media outlets aren't cutting it anymore. 229 00:13:29,004 --> 00:13:30,923 Ray, where are we on interactive? 230 00:13:31,006 --> 00:13:34,384 - The web site should be up and running on Monday. - No, not should be. 231 00:13:34,468 --> 00:13:37,721 Will be! We cannot sell this show... 232 00:13:37,804 --> 00:13:39,804 on the pissant advertising budget they've given us. 233 00:13:39,829 --> 00:13:42,684 We need to be streaming 24-7, 234 00:13:42,768 --> 00:13:45,938 and we need to make every show count. 235 00:13:46,021 --> 00:13:50,233 - Remember, it is all about the get. - The get. 236 00:13:50,317 --> 00:13:53,111 We cannot make a splash if we only get... 237 00:13:53,195 --> 00:13:55,113 the gets that everybody's already gotten. 238 00:13:55,197 --> 00:13:58,492 - I need the ungettable get, got it? - Got it. 239 00:13:58,575 --> 00:14:00,452 Good. 240 00:14:00,494 --> 00:14:02,746 Okay, where are we on Fidel? 241 00:14:02,829 --> 00:14:06,250 Well, I spoke with Juanita, 242 00:14:06,333 --> 00:14:08,377 his foreign press secretary, 243 00:14:08,460 --> 00:14:10,754 who assured me that the moment... 244 00:14:10,837 --> 00:14:16,218 el presidente was back from his fantasy baseball camp... 245 00:14:16,301 --> 00:14:18,595 she would approach him about it. 246 00:14:18,679 --> 00:14:20,439 And what did she say? He might be interested? 247 00:14:20,464 --> 00:14:21,848 Did she discuss his availability? 248 00:14:21,932 --> 00:14:24,768 Tell me, do you think we have a shot here? 249 00:14:24,851 --> 00:14:28,313 - Jane? - Sorry. 250 00:14:28,397 --> 00:14:31,858 I said what do you think your chances are of getting this guy? 251 00:14:33,068 --> 00:14:34,987 I think they're good, Diane. 252 00:14:35,070 --> 00:14:37,573 I think they're very good. 253 00:15:12,274 --> 00:15:14,234 Just a minute. 254 00:15:33,003 --> 00:15:35,464 Sorry. 255 00:15:35,547 --> 00:15:39,176 I thought I'd just do a few sit-ups. 256 00:16:00,656 --> 00:16:05,661 Joy: The emotion evoked by the prospect of possessing what one desires. 257 00:16:07,996 --> 00:16:10,958 Rapture: The experience of being carried away... 258 00:16:10,999 --> 00:16:13,627 by an overwhelming emotion or passion. 259 00:16:19,383 --> 00:16:23,971 Ecstasy: A state of being beyond reason and self-control. 260 00:16:26,598 --> 00:16:28,517 I cannot feel my legs. 261 00:16:28,600 --> 00:16:31,480 - Tell me again what we're doing here, please. - We're coming up for air. 262 00:16:31,505 --> 00:16:34,606 - Oh, right. - Besides, I owe you a shirt. 263 00:16:34,648 --> 00:16:36,692 Hey, that's a good idea. 264 00:16:36,775 --> 00:16:38,694 - Blue? - Yeah. 265 00:16:38,777 --> 00:16:41,029 This one's pretty. 266 00:16:41,113 --> 00:16:43,407 - You think? - With your eyes. 267 00:16:43,490 --> 00:16:46,368 Could be risky, given your impatience with buttons. 268 00:16:46,451 --> 00:16:48,412 Well... 269 00:16:51,957 --> 00:16:53,959 - I love it. We'll take this one. - My treat. 270 00:16:54,042 --> 00:16:56,461 - No, no, no. No, Jane. - Shut up. 271 00:16:56,545 --> 00:16:59,131 - Let me buy you a shirt. - Thank you. 272 00:17:00,757 --> 00:17:04,136 - Hey, guys. - Eddie, hey! 273 00:17:04,177 --> 00:17:06,555 We were... I mean, I just... 274 00:17:06,638 --> 00:17:09,057 - She's helping me pick out a shirt. - Yeah. 275 00:17:09,141 --> 00:17:11,461 - Well, I didn't mean to intrude. - Not at all. You're not. 276 00:17:11,486 --> 00:17:13,446 - Not at all. Please! - No. 277 00:17:15,355 --> 00:17:17,357 Listen, I gotta go to a thing. 278 00:17:17,441 --> 00:17:20,110 - I gotta hit this... Great running into you. - Okay. 279 00:17:20,193 --> 00:17:22,696 - Both of you. My God! I can't even... - See you around. 280 00:17:22,779 --> 00:17:25,490 - All right. - Okay. - Yeah. 281 00:17:25,574 --> 00:17:30,162 What a coincidence. First I run into Ray, and then we run into you. 282 00:17:30,245 --> 00:17:32,748 I didn't even know he lived around here, and then, boom! 283 00:17:32,831 --> 00:17:36,376 All of a sudden, there he is. So... 284 00:17:36,460 --> 00:17:40,964 Wha... Okay, so I am sleeping with him. 285 00:17:41,048 --> 00:17:44,343 Eddie, if you tell anyone at the office, so help me, God... 286 00:17:44,426 --> 00:17:46,929 What are you thinking? 287 00:17:47,012 --> 00:17:50,307 I'm... I'm thinking the same thing you are, Jane, 288 00:17:50,390 --> 00:17:53,226 that you and Ray are gonna live happily ever after... 289 00:17:53,310 --> 00:17:55,228 with matching Volvos and chocolate labs. 290 00:17:55,312 --> 00:17:57,230 See you Monday. 291 00:17:57,314 --> 00:18:00,233 Did you have any friends growing up? 292 00:18:00,317 --> 00:18:03,278 Better hurry. I think he's waiting down the street. 293 00:18:06,823 --> 00:18:10,035 And I never thought I'd feel this way 294 00:18:10,118 --> 00:18:14,248 The way I feel about you 295 00:18:20,420 --> 00:18:23,674 Soon as I wake up every night 296 00:18:23,757 --> 00:18:26,593 Every day 297 00:18:26,677 --> 00:18:29,221 I know that it's you I need 298 00:18:29,304 --> 00:18:31,265 To take the blues away 299 00:18:33,433 --> 00:18:36,770 It must be love love, love 300 00:18:38,188 --> 00:18:42,693 It must be love love, love 301 00:18:42,776 --> 00:18:45,195 Nothing more nothing less 302 00:18:45,279 --> 00:18:47,447 Love is the best 303 00:18:49,283 --> 00:18:52,578 How can it be that we can 304 00:18:52,661 --> 00:18:55,914 Say so much without words 305 00:19:23,150 --> 00:19:25,193 I love you, Jane. 306 00:19:31,116 --> 00:19:33,035 I love you too. 307 00:19:41,001 --> 00:19:44,504 He just came right out and said it, after only six weeks. 308 00:19:44,588 --> 00:19:48,467 Oh, my God. Takes most guys like a year to use the "L" word. 309 00:19:48,550 --> 00:19:50,594 When they finally do, they're usually, you know, 310 00:19:50,677 --> 00:19:53,555 on top of you, so it doesn't really count. 311 00:19:53,639 --> 00:19:57,351 - What about the "D" woman? - He's telling her tomorrow night. 312 00:19:57,434 --> 00:20:00,979 - Why didn't he tell her already? - He's in a complicated situation. 313 00:20:01,063 --> 00:20:02,981 Anyhow, if he were having second thoughts, 314 00:20:03,065 --> 00:20:05,145 I hardly think he would've asked me to live with him. 315 00:20:05,192 --> 00:20:08,445 He asked you to live with him? Oh, my God. 316 00:20:08,528 --> 00:20:12,324 - What did you say? - I must've said yes or something to that effect... 317 00:20:12,366 --> 00:20:15,494 because he started calling realtors, and I gave my landlord notice. 318 00:20:15,577 --> 00:20:19,373 Mazel tov! 319 00:20:19,456 --> 00:20:22,417 I can't believe this! 320 00:20:22,501 --> 00:20:24,419 You're getting asked to play house by some guy, 321 00:20:24,503 --> 00:20:28,507 and I'm still on the blind date circuit from hell. 322 00:20:28,590 --> 00:20:30,884 I take it last night did not go very well. 323 00:20:30,968 --> 00:20:34,012 Awful. Do me a favor. Next time Julian offers to set me up... 324 00:20:34,096 --> 00:20:37,474 with one of his straight friends, shoot me before I say yes. 325 00:20:37,557 --> 00:20:39,893 I'm in a sad state. 326 00:20:39,977 --> 00:20:43,355 And I'm telling you, it's just screaming potential. 327 00:20:43,438 --> 00:20:45,524 H- Hello? 328 00:20:45,565 --> 00:20:47,693 - I didn't mean to intrude. - No, we're fine. 329 00:20:47,734 --> 00:20:49,778 Didn't you want to see the patio? Come on out. 330 00:20:49,861 --> 00:20:52,281 Isn't it just wonderful? Wait'll you see the view. 331 00:20:52,364 --> 00:20:55,409 It's just spectacular. Right this way. 332 00:20:55,492 --> 00:20:57,911 Right down to the World Trade Center. 333 00:21:05,961 --> 00:21:07,879 It's such a jewel box. 334 00:21:09,339 --> 00:21:13,802 I guess I'll leave you two alone to talk things over. 335 00:21:15,804 --> 00:21:18,307 - Oh, my God. It's unbelievable. - I love it! I love it! 336 00:21:18,390 --> 00:21:21,476 It's amazing. The light is so good! I love you. 337 00:21:25,689 --> 00:21:27,899 I don't know. 338 00:21:30,485 --> 00:21:33,488 Liz, I gotta go. 339 00:21:33,572 --> 00:21:35,866 Oh, my God. He looks like he's been hit by a bus. 340 00:21:35,949 --> 00:21:37,993 I'll call you back. 341 00:21:40,162 --> 00:21:42,748 I feel like I've been hit by a bus. 342 00:21:42,831 --> 00:21:44,875 You told her? 343 00:21:48,337 --> 00:21:50,505 Was it bad? 344 00:21:50,589 --> 00:21:52,883 Not like I thought. 345 00:21:52,966 --> 00:21:58,221 I mean, she... She didn't go hysterical or anything like that. 346 00:21:58,305 --> 00:22:01,224 She just was kinda, 347 00:22:01,308 --> 00:22:04,603 you know, eerily calm about the whole thing. 348 00:22:04,686 --> 00:22:07,022 - Well, that's good, right? - Yeah, yeah. 349 00:22:07,105 --> 00:22:09,900 I just meant, you know, 350 00:22:09,983 --> 00:22:13,070 it wasn't what I expected is all, you know? 351 00:22:13,153 --> 00:22:17,199 - What'd she say about us? - She just, she just... 352 00:22:17,282 --> 00:22:21,662 I - I didn't tell her. Jane, I just didn't think it was necessary. 353 00:22:21,745 --> 00:22:23,745 I mean, to hit her over the head with this thing... 354 00:22:23,770 --> 00:22:27,584 after three years, it just seemed so, so awful. 355 00:22:27,668 --> 00:22:30,003 I just told her that it was over. 356 00:22:30,087 --> 00:22:32,339 You know? And I think that's all she needs to know. 357 00:22:32,422 --> 00:22:36,260 - Right? - S-Sure. 358 00:22:36,343 --> 00:22:38,929 - And she was okay with that? - Yeah. I mean, I guess. 359 00:22:39,012 --> 00:22:40,931 I don't know. It was so... It was just weird. 360 00:22:41,014 --> 00:22:44,768 I mean, she just kinda... Whoooh. 361 00:22:44,851 --> 00:22:47,104 You know, she just kinda went cold on me. 362 00:22:47,187 --> 00:22:50,023 I mean, she's upset. 363 00:22:50,107 --> 00:22:52,067 She's upset, the poor thing. 364 00:22:52,150 --> 00:22:55,320 She's gotta be upset. She's... You know. 365 00:22:55,362 --> 00:23:00,284 She just didn't seem terribly upset, so... 366 00:23:00,367 --> 00:23:05,664 Well, you're okay with it, right? 367 00:23:05,706 --> 00:23:09,376 - I mean, you're happy. - Happy? 368 00:23:09,459 --> 00:23:13,088 I am so happy. I mean, this is what I wanted. 369 00:23:13,171 --> 00:23:15,340 I mean, there's nothing between us anymore, you know, 370 00:23:15,382 --> 00:23:20,596 and that's... that's what I was looking for, so I'm happy. 371 00:23:23,849 --> 00:23:27,269 How exactly did Ray disappear? 372 00:23:27,352 --> 00:23:30,897 Slowly and kind of subtly. 373 00:23:32,065 --> 00:23:34,568 Single pane, double pane? 374 00:23:34,651 --> 00:23:36,570 - Single pane, I believe. - Singles. 375 00:23:36,653 --> 00:23:39,740 A lot more sun, I guess, than I had recalled. 376 00:23:39,823 --> 00:23:44,286 This doesn't open? Well, gotta force it. 377 00:23:44,369 --> 00:23:46,330 Well, maybe it wasn't so subtle. 378 00:23:46,413 --> 00:23:48,373 Hi, babe. 379 00:23:48,415 --> 00:23:51,460 It's me again. Listen, the realtor called, 380 00:23:51,543 --> 00:23:54,046 and she said that we have to sign the lease by Monday. 381 00:23:54,129 --> 00:23:57,466 I know you wanted your lawyer to have a look at the contract and everything, 382 00:23:57,549 --> 00:24:00,310 but my apartment's been re-rented, and I have got to be out of here... 383 00:24:09,102 --> 00:24:12,147 He is not sleeping with somebody else. What are you talking about? 384 00:24:12,230 --> 00:24:14,149 First of all, Ray really isn't like that. 385 00:24:14,209 --> 00:24:16,209 And second of all, the poor guy wouldn't have time. 386 00:24:16,234 --> 00:24:18,914 He's been working until 3:00 in the morning every night for 2 weeks. 387 00:24:18,946 --> 00:24:21,986 Okay, A: There's no such thing as a guy who doesn't have time to mess around. 388 00:24:22,011 --> 00:24:24,743 They always have time for that. And B: If he ain't sleeping with you, 389 00:24:24,785 --> 00:24:27,788 he ain't sleepin' alone. 390 00:24:27,829 --> 00:24:29,915 Right? 391 00:24:29,998 --> 00:24:33,043 Listen, you gotta talk to him. It's better than not knowing. 392 00:24:34,962 --> 00:24:37,547 Sorry. This patch is worth shit. 393 00:24:40,467 --> 00:24:43,595 Throughout the animal kingdom, prey species have developed... 394 00:24:43,679 --> 00:24:47,099 a wide variety of escape behaviors. 395 00:24:47,140 --> 00:24:50,560 Freezing is a common response to predator alarm. 396 00:24:50,644 --> 00:24:56,191 Sensing danger, many animals will assume a rigid, statue-like position. 397 00:24:56,275 --> 00:24:59,528 Fleeing is another popular method. 398 00:24:59,611 --> 00:25:02,990 Some species will simply try to outrun their captors, 399 00:25:03,073 --> 00:25:05,909 while others take an erratic zigzag course... 400 00:25:05,993 --> 00:25:10,205 in the hopes that sudden direction shifts will eventually tire the predator, 401 00:25:10,289 --> 00:25:14,543 causing her to give up the chase. 402 00:25:14,626 --> 00:25:16,837 Smell the bacon, Jane? 403 00:25:21,592 --> 00:25:24,595 I'm wondering what's happening here. I mean, 404 00:25:24,678 --> 00:25:26,763 we haven't been alone together in a week. 405 00:25:26,847 --> 00:25:29,683 We lost that great apartment... 406 00:25:29,766 --> 00:25:32,102 because your lawyer supposedly didn't get his act together, 407 00:25:32,185 --> 00:25:34,271 which is okay, I understand. 408 00:25:34,354 --> 00:25:36,481 But as of Saturday, I don't have a place to live. 409 00:25:36,565 --> 00:25:39,443 Ray, what the hell's going on? 410 00:25:41,320 --> 00:25:43,447 I don't think I can do this. 411 00:25:43,530 --> 00:25:46,199 Do what? 412 00:25:46,283 --> 00:25:50,537 This. Us. 413 00:25:50,621 --> 00:25:52,789 What? 414 00:25:54,458 --> 00:25:56,919 Why? 415 00:25:57,002 --> 00:26:01,089 - I don't know. - What do you mean, you don't know? 416 00:26:01,173 --> 00:26:04,176 There has to be a reason. Just tell me what it is. 417 00:26:04,259 --> 00:26:07,304 Jane, I'm sorry. I... You deserve an answer, 418 00:26:07,387 --> 00:26:09,973 and I don't think I can explain it to you. 419 00:26:10,057 --> 00:26:15,312 I thought we... felt the same way: 420 00:26:15,395 --> 00:26:18,774 Incredibly lucky to have... 421 00:26:18,857 --> 00:26:21,610 - found th-the thing. - I do. 422 00:26:22,736 --> 00:26:25,364 - And here you go. - I did. 423 00:26:29,993 --> 00:26:31,912 I... 424 00:26:31,995 --> 00:26:36,792 I just think that we both need to take a step back. 425 00:26:38,085 --> 00:26:43,048 I mean we're talking about a very serious move here. 426 00:26:43,090 --> 00:26:47,386 I just wanted... I still... 427 00:26:50,097 --> 00:26:52,933 I don't even know what I'm trying to say. 428 00:26:53,016 --> 00:26:56,603 I feel like... such a jerk, 429 00:26:56,687 --> 00:26:59,398 you know, believing that this was... 430 00:26:59,481 --> 00:27:01,400 Listen to me. I love you. 431 00:27:03,193 --> 00:27:06,071 I... want us to be important to each other. 432 00:27:06,113 --> 00:27:08,740 Please don't do that. 433 00:27:17,499 --> 00:27:20,210 Please go. 434 00:27:45,569 --> 00:27:49,406 There are few things sadder in this life... 435 00:27:49,489 --> 00:27:53,493 than watching someone walk away after they've left you, 436 00:27:53,577 --> 00:27:57,289 watching the distance between your bodies expand... 437 00:27:57,372 --> 00:28:01,084 until there's nothing but empty space... 438 00:28:01,168 --> 00:28:03,086 and silence. 439 00:28:09,718 --> 00:28:12,262 Remember, 440 00:28:12,346 --> 00:28:15,432 time wounds all heels. 441 00:28:24,775 --> 00:28:28,570 Eddie Alden. Yeah, sure. Hold on. 442 00:28:28,654 --> 00:28:30,614 Hi. 443 00:28:32,532 --> 00:28:34,493 Are you all right? 444 00:28:34,534 --> 00:28:37,037 Why? Don't I look all right? 445 00:28:39,039 --> 00:28:42,084 - You look like you hate my guts. - I do hate your guts. 446 00:28:42,167 --> 00:28:45,212 That's nice. 447 00:28:45,295 --> 00:28:47,381 I don't blame you, you know. 448 00:28:47,464 --> 00:28:49,704 For what it's worth, this hasn't been easy for me either. 449 00:28:49,729 --> 00:28:52,219 Oh, yeah, you look really... destroyed. 450 00:28:52,302 --> 00:28:54,680 - Hey. - Hey, Eddie. 451 00:28:54,721 --> 00:28:58,183 Eddie, did you by any chance ever find a roommate? 452 00:28:59,434 --> 00:29:02,521 Well, no, actually. 453 00:29:02,604 --> 00:29:05,484 Because the place I was supposed to move into just suddenly fell apart... 454 00:29:05,509 --> 00:29:08,068 and my apartment's been re-rented... 455 00:29:08,151 --> 00:29:10,696 and I was wondering if the offer's still good. 456 00:29:10,779 --> 00:29:12,864 - Y-You're moving in with Eddie? - Maybe. 457 00:29:12,948 --> 00:29:15,450 What's the apartment like? 458 00:29:15,534 --> 00:29:19,246 Just a two-bedroom loft, big kitchen, lots of windows, living room. 459 00:29:19,329 --> 00:29:22,040 Sounds amazing. When can I see it? 460 00:29:22,124 --> 00:29:25,127 - You're moving in with Eddie. - How about tonight? 461 00:29:25,210 --> 00:29:28,297 Perfect. Everything is just perfect. 462 00:29:32,759 --> 00:29:34,720 Hey. 463 00:29:36,430 --> 00:29:38,473 - You okay? - Yeah. 464 00:29:45,772 --> 00:29:48,275 - Here it is. - It's huge. 465 00:29:48,358 --> 00:29:53,030 Yup. Kitchen, living room, whatever. 466 00:29:53,113 --> 00:29:56,158 My bedroom, bathroom. 467 00:29:56,241 --> 00:29:58,285 This would be your room. 468 00:30:02,497 --> 00:30:04,416 What happened here? 469 00:30:04,499 --> 00:30:07,419 Yeah, I got the urge to renovate one night, but don't worry. 470 00:30:07,502 --> 00:30:09,880 I'd have it fixed by the time you moved in. 471 00:30:09,963 --> 00:30:13,008 - You want a drink? - Sure. Some water. 472 00:30:13,091 --> 00:30:15,135 We don't have to share a bathroom, do we? 473 00:30:15,218 --> 00:30:17,971 Oh, no, I never, ever use the bathroom. 474 00:30:19,389 --> 00:30:21,308 So how'd you find this place? 475 00:30:21,391 --> 00:30:25,771 My ex-girlfriend worked in an emergency room. 476 00:30:25,854 --> 00:30:29,174 Whenever someone croaked, she'd check out their address, see if it was rent control. 477 00:30:29,199 --> 00:30:30,692 Eventually, we got lucky. 478 00:30:30,776 --> 00:30:33,195 You lived with somebody? 479 00:30:33,278 --> 00:30:36,490 - Yeah. - For how long? 480 00:30:36,573 --> 00:30:38,825 For... a while. 481 00:30:38,909 --> 00:30:43,914 - So what do you think? - I think I must be out of my mind. 482 00:30:43,997 --> 00:30:46,500 They say you stand 483 00:30:46,583 --> 00:30:48,752 By your man 484 00:30:48,835 --> 00:30:50,837 Tell me something 485 00:30:50,921 --> 00:30:53,006 I don't understand 486 00:30:53,090 --> 00:30:57,094 You said you loved me and that's a fact 487 00:30:57,177 --> 00:31:00,264 - Hey! - Thank you! 488 00:31:00,347 --> 00:31:02,307 Shit. 489 00:31:02,349 --> 00:31:06,812 Well, some days you can explain away 490 00:31:06,853 --> 00:31:11,191 But the heartache's with me till this day 491 00:31:13,360 --> 00:31:15,946 Did you stand by me 492 00:31:16,029 --> 00:31:17,990 No, not at all 493 00:31:18,073 --> 00:31:20,492 Did you stand by me 494 00:31:20,534 --> 00:31:22,828 No way 495 00:31:27,165 --> 00:31:29,293 All the times 496 00:31:29,376 --> 00:31:31,670 That we were close 497 00:31:31,753 --> 00:31:33,839 I remember 498 00:31:33,922 --> 00:31:36,091 These things the most 499 00:31:36,174 --> 00:31:40,721 I've seen all my dreams come tumblin'down 500 00:31:40,804 --> 00:31:42,764 I can't be happy 501 00:31:42,848 --> 00:31:45,392 Without you around 502 00:31:45,475 --> 00:31:49,855 So alone I keep the wolves at bay 503 00:31:49,938 --> 00:31:53,775 And there's only one thing I can say 504 00:31:56,320 --> 00:31:58,739 You didn't stand by me 505 00:31:58,822 --> 00:32:01,033 No, not at all 506 00:32:01,074 --> 00:32:03,493 You didn't stand by me 507 00:32:03,577 --> 00:32:05,579 No way 508 00:32:05,662 --> 00:32:09,124 You didn't stand by me No, not at all 509 00:32:10,208 --> 00:32:12,544 You didn't stand by me 510 00:32:12,628 --> 00:32:15,130 No way 511 00:32:15,213 --> 00:32:17,799 Morphine for the pain. 512 00:32:33,523 --> 00:32:35,484 Hey. 513 00:32:37,611 --> 00:32:40,322 It was right after she moved out. 514 00:32:47,037 --> 00:32:50,249 I just took an ax and started hacking away at it. 515 00:32:51,792 --> 00:32:53,794 So I thought opening up that wall... 516 00:32:53,877 --> 00:32:57,673 might make it easier to breathe or something. 517 00:32:57,756 --> 00:32:59,800 I don't smoke. 518 00:33:18,860 --> 00:33:20,821 You okay? 519 00:33:22,781 --> 00:33:24,741 Oh, yeah. 520 00:33:27,077 --> 00:33:28,996 What was her name? 521 00:33:34,918 --> 00:33:36,837 Rebecca. 522 00:33:40,132 --> 00:33:42,384 Put your shoes on. We're going downstairs. 523 00:33:42,467 --> 00:33:44,386 - What's downstairs? - You'll see. 524 00:33:49,725 --> 00:33:51,727 It's like there are two realities. 525 00:33:51,810 --> 00:33:57,024 First, we're in love, and it's incredible, it's perfect. 526 00:33:57,107 --> 00:33:59,735 And then poof! "Sorry, Jane." 527 00:33:59,818 --> 00:34:01,737 Doesn't work for me anymore." 528 00:34:01,820 --> 00:34:05,908 - How is that possible? - Easy. You were living in a fantasy. 529 00:34:05,991 --> 00:34:09,953 Romance, true love, soul mates, 530 00:34:10,037 --> 00:34:11,955 it's all bullshit. 531 00:34:12,039 --> 00:34:13,957 None of it exists. 532 00:34:14,041 --> 00:34:16,543 Trust me. I speak from experience. 533 00:34:18,378 --> 00:34:23,508 Man, she really did a number on you, didn't she? 534 00:34:23,550 --> 00:34:25,844 Well, don't shit on my broken heart... 535 00:34:25,886 --> 00:34:30,807 just because you converted to some warped brand of romantic atheism. 536 00:34:30,891 --> 00:34:33,518 Oh, man! 537 00:34:33,560 --> 00:34:35,520 It's called self-preservation. 538 00:34:35,562 --> 00:34:39,524 In other words, you narcotize yourself with casual sex. 539 00:34:39,566 --> 00:34:42,194 No, no, no. See, that implies I'm avoiding reality... 540 00:34:42,235 --> 00:34:44,196 when, in fact, I embrace it. 541 00:34:47,032 --> 00:34:48,992 Don't underestimate casual sex, Jane. 542 00:34:49,076 --> 00:34:52,329 - It's very liberating. - I'll bet. 543 00:34:58,877 --> 00:35:01,296 I almost feel sorry for her. 544 00:35:01,380 --> 00:35:03,298 What for? 545 00:35:03,382 --> 00:35:05,384 I make no pretenses, okay? 546 00:35:05,467 --> 00:35:07,636 Now, if she wants to put me up on a white horse, 547 00:35:07,719 --> 00:35:09,680 that's her choice. 548 00:35:10,847 --> 00:35:13,642 We're all grownups here, Jane. 549 00:35:13,725 --> 00:35:16,061 You know I love you, baby 550 00:35:17,896 --> 00:35:21,191 And I don't want nobody else 551 00:35:23,652 --> 00:35:26,863 I can't help wonderin'if I 552 00:35:28,448 --> 00:35:32,703 I lay awake that night wondering which was worse: 553 00:35:32,744 --> 00:35:37,332 Guys like Ray who blinded you with charms and promises, 554 00:35:38,709 --> 00:35:42,170 or the Eddies of the world who went right for your pants. 555 00:35:42,254 --> 00:35:45,090 Excuse me. 556 00:35:45,173 --> 00:35:47,467 And in the end, it didn't matter. 557 00:35:47,551 --> 00:35:52,139 The truth was, they were all cast from the same mold. 558 00:35:52,222 --> 00:35:55,392 But the question remained. 559 00:35:55,517 --> 00:35:57,561 Why? 560 00:35:57,644 --> 00:36:00,105 And then one day by the river, 561 00:36:00,188 --> 00:36:02,107 I found my answer. 562 00:36:03,650 --> 00:36:05,777 Holy shit! 563 00:36:09,865 --> 00:36:12,159 I told them dumb asses it'd never work. 564 00:36:12,242 --> 00:36:15,370 You can't fool a bull, mister. No, sir. 565 00:36:15,454 --> 00:36:18,540 He knows where he's been, and he ain't goin' back. 566 00:36:18,624 --> 00:36:21,168 Hell, I got... I got 93 cows. 567 00:36:21,251 --> 00:36:23,211 Only one of'em got nads. 568 00:36:23,295 --> 00:36:28,550 Why? 'Cause that one son of a bitch alone can knock up an entire herd. 569 00:36:28,634 --> 00:36:32,012 But once he's done, well, the party's over. 570 00:36:32,095 --> 00:36:34,973 I gotta go over to Ed Hickey's place down the road... 571 00:36:35,015 --> 00:36:36,975 and trade him for a new one... 572 00:36:37,017 --> 00:36:38,977 'cause there ain't a chance in hell... 573 00:36:39,019 --> 00:36:41,897 he's ever gonna touch any of them cows again, no, sir. 574 00:36:41,980 --> 00:36:46,818 - I figured it out. I'm the old cow. - I don't get it. 575 00:36:46,860 --> 00:36:50,614 Remember a couple weeks ago when we were laughing at that graffiti on the subway? 576 00:36:50,697 --> 00:36:52,658 - " Baby, I love the toilet you sit on"? - No. 577 00:36:52,699 --> 00:36:54,743 "I'm tired of banging the same woman every night." 578 00:36:54,826 --> 00:36:56,912 We thought there might actually be something to that, 579 00:36:56,995 --> 00:37:00,290 - like it could be a window into their dark... - Schizophrenic behavior. 580 00:37:00,374 --> 00:37:02,334 Well, it is. The new cow theory... 581 00:37:02,376 --> 00:37:04,503 and "I'm tired of banging the same woman every night," 582 00:37:04,586 --> 00:37:06,505 same thing. 583 00:37:06,588 --> 00:37:08,674 This is why men can't commit. 584 00:37:08,757 --> 00:37:11,468 Sooner or later, we all become old cows. 585 00:37:11,551 --> 00:37:14,137 We're identified as already serviced, 586 00:37:14,221 --> 00:37:17,432 so they wanna move on and find less familiar females. 587 00:37:17,516 --> 00:37:21,645 - The whole novelty thing, you mean. - Neophilia, to be precise. 588 00:37:21,728 --> 00:37:24,940 - What do you think? - What do I think? I think... 589 00:37:25,023 --> 00:37:27,276 it's always about you, that's what I think. 590 00:37:27,359 --> 00:37:31,572 You fall for some guy, and it's like men are worthy of heroic worship. 591 00:37:31,655 --> 00:37:34,908 You get dumped and suddenly they're shit-sucking, commitment-phobic assholes. 592 00:37:34,992 --> 00:37:37,494 I'm sorry, Jane. The entire universe does not revolve around... 593 00:37:37,578 --> 00:37:39,705 your romantic status. 594 00:37:45,752 --> 00:37:48,255 You're in love. 595 00:37:48,338 --> 00:37:50,549 I'm almost in love. 596 00:37:50,591 --> 00:37:54,886 Oh, honey, why didn't you tell me? 597 00:37:56,930 --> 00:37:59,349 You're having a spectacular mope. I didn't wanna ruin it. 598 00:37:59,433 --> 00:38:04,062 - Oh, my God! - We met at a work party a couple of weeks ago and... 599 00:38:05,355 --> 00:38:08,734 Just incredible. I mean, he's so... 600 00:38:08,817 --> 00:38:11,486 And I'm so... 601 00:38:11,570 --> 00:38:14,072 Although I appreciated Liz's intoxication... 602 00:38:14,156 --> 00:38:16,199 over her seeming good fortune, 603 00:38:16,283 --> 00:38:18,911 I refused to be derailed. 604 00:38:18,994 --> 00:38:22,039 Now armed with my new cow theory, 605 00:38:22,122 --> 00:38:25,584 I became voracious for information. 606 00:38:53,820 --> 00:38:55,739 What are you doing? 607 00:38:55,822 --> 00:38:58,116 Nothin'. 608 00:38:58,158 --> 00:39:00,494 - Hey! Eddie! - What's this? 609 00:39:00,577 --> 00:39:03,538 "Amygdala, AKA erotic nose brain. 610 00:39:03,622 --> 00:39:07,209 - Give it back! - "An organ located in the nasal cavity, 611 00:39:07,292 --> 00:39:09,586 "which connects smells to memories." 612 00:39:09,670 --> 00:39:14,007 "Banana slugs, actually hermaphrodites..." 613 00:39:15,926 --> 00:39:19,972 "While mating, the males chew each other's penises off." 614 00:39:26,228 --> 00:39:28,188 I worry about you, Jane. I really do. 615 00:39:52,254 --> 00:39:54,172 Despite my conviction, 616 00:39:54,256 --> 00:39:58,885 there was the occasional setback. 617 00:39:58,969 --> 00:40:00,929 I want my erotic nose brain removed. 618 00:40:01,013 --> 00:40:03,265 I beg your pardon? 619 00:40:03,348 --> 00:40:06,518 My amygdala, the organ deep inside the nasal cavity, 620 00:40:06,602 --> 00:40:10,022 which processes scent, which then connects to memory. 621 00:40:10,063 --> 00:40:12,149 I'd like it extracted. 622 00:40:12,232 --> 00:40:15,902 But why would you want to voluntarily make yourself anosmatic? 623 00:40:15,986 --> 00:40:18,196 Well, let me see if I can explain this. 624 00:40:18,238 --> 00:40:20,908 I had this boyfriend, okay? 625 00:40:20,991 --> 00:40:25,495 And he smelled really, really good, like soap... 626 00:40:25,579 --> 00:40:30,542 and fresh laundry and vanilla. 627 00:40:30,626 --> 00:40:32,961 And every time I smell any of those smells, 628 00:40:33,045 --> 00:40:36,173 I'm reminded of my boyfriend and how happy we were... 629 00:40:36,256 --> 00:40:38,175 before he dumped me for no good reason. 630 00:40:38,258 --> 00:40:42,054 And I get very sad, and then I get angry. 631 00:40:42,137 --> 00:40:47,434 And then before I know it, I am in the throes of an all-out emotional breakdown. 632 00:40:47,517 --> 00:40:50,187 And so I was just thinking, Dr. Glen, 633 00:40:50,270 --> 00:40:53,190 if I can just short-circuit my nose somehow, 634 00:40:53,273 --> 00:40:57,903 I might actually have a chance of living a semi-normal life someday. 635 00:40:57,986 --> 00:41:01,073 Hey, wait! 636 00:41:44,616 --> 00:41:46,577 Couldn't sleep? 637 00:41:46,618 --> 00:41:49,454 - No. - Me neither. 638 00:41:49,496 --> 00:41:52,916 Does that happen to you a lot? 639 00:41:52,958 --> 00:41:55,002 Yeah. 640 00:41:56,086 --> 00:41:58,130 Me too. 641 00:42:14,980 --> 00:42:17,524 - Just like eating worms. - Yeah. 642 00:42:24,156 --> 00:42:26,658 Talent. These are good. 643 00:42:27,826 --> 00:42:29,912 Here. 644 00:42:31,580 --> 00:42:33,624 Head back. 645 00:42:40,631 --> 00:42:42,549 - Yeah? - Good. 646 00:42:42,633 --> 00:42:44,635 Good. 647 00:42:50,015 --> 00:42:51,934 Cold dumplings. My favorite. 648 00:42:53,018 --> 00:42:57,105 Way to go, Tomcat. Two points. 649 00:42:57,189 --> 00:42:59,066 Tomcat? 650 00:42:59,149 --> 00:43:01,193 Cheerleader. 651 00:43:01,276 --> 00:43:03,320 A what? 652 00:43:03,403 --> 00:43:05,364 I was a cheerleader. 653 00:43:05,405 --> 00:43:08,075 - You were a cheerleader? - Yes, I was. 654 00:43:08,158 --> 00:43:12,871 Paul G. Blazer Memorial High. Pride and joy of Cincinnati, Ohio, state champs, 1989. 655 00:43:12,913 --> 00:43:15,040 - Go, Cats. - Go, Cats. 656 00:43:15,123 --> 00:43:17,125 Well, show me. 657 00:43:17,209 --> 00:43:19,211 - No. No! - Come on! Why not? 658 00:43:19,294 --> 00:43:21,838 I just haven't done it in ten years, Eddie. Come on. 659 00:43:21,922 --> 00:43:25,342 - You come on. Show me. - You have to do something that merits a cheer. 660 00:43:25,384 --> 00:43:28,220 Like, like, like... 661 00:43:28,303 --> 00:43:31,223 Like three dumplings, left-handed, in a row. 662 00:43:31,306 --> 00:43:33,934 - You can't do that. - Deal? 663 00:43:34,017 --> 00:43:35,936 Deal. 664 00:43:36,019 --> 00:43:39,439 One, two, three. 665 00:43:39,523 --> 00:43:41,984 Like that? 666 00:43:42,067 --> 00:43:44,903 Come on. Come on. 667 00:43:44,987 --> 00:43:46,905 Come on. 668 00:43:46,989 --> 00:43:51,159 - You promise not to laugh? - No. Come on. 669 00:44:00,335 --> 00:44:02,254 - What are those? - Pom-poms. 670 00:44:04,756 --> 00:44:06,883 Okay. 671 00:44:06,925 --> 00:44:09,052 I hate you. 672 00:44:09,136 --> 00:44:11,179 It's okay. 673 00:44:16,059 --> 00:44:18,478 Ready? Okay! 674 00:44:18,562 --> 00:44:21,189 The Tomcats are here... 675 00:44:21,273 --> 00:44:23,567 to show... 676 00:44:31,450 --> 00:44:33,785 Ready? Okay! 677 00:44:33,827 --> 00:44:35,787 The Tomcats are here... 678 00:44:35,829 --> 00:44:38,665 to show who's top. 679 00:44:38,749 --> 00:44:40,959 You think can beat us... 680 00:44:41,043 --> 00:44:43,462 but we can't be stopped! 681 00:44:43,545 --> 00:44:45,505 Go, Tomcats! 682 00:44:45,589 --> 00:44:50,135 - First and ten and... - Eddie? 683 00:44:53,639 --> 00:44:55,724 Hey, hey. 684 00:44:55,807 --> 00:45:00,020 Hi. I'm Jane. 685 00:45:00,103 --> 00:45:02,105 Roommate. 686 00:45:02,189 --> 00:45:05,817 - Isabel. - Isabel, Jane. 687 00:45:05,901 --> 00:45:09,321 - You can clean up. It's your turn. - Okay. Okay. 688 00:45:09,363 --> 00:45:12,658 Good night. We're a little noisy. 689 00:45:22,000 --> 00:45:24,086 Hi, George. It's Jane. 690 00:45:27,881 --> 00:45:29,841 God, I'm such an idiot. 691 00:45:29,925 --> 00:45:32,678 I mean, I sensed things were a little off when he got back from L.A., 692 00:45:32,719 --> 00:45:36,098 but I just thought that he was just jet-lagged or something. 693 00:45:36,181 --> 00:45:38,325 Then he tells me the France thing isn't such a good idea... 694 00:45:38,350 --> 00:45:40,470 because he's gonna have to work the whole time anyway, 695 00:45:40,495 --> 00:45:42,354 so still, I figure, "Okay, that's no big deal." 696 00:45:42,396 --> 00:45:44,773 So Friday he gets on a plane, he goes over there alone. 697 00:45:44,856 --> 00:45:47,192 Right? Wrong. 698 00:45:47,234 --> 00:45:50,529 An hour ago, I call his hotel room to say good night. 699 00:45:50,571 --> 00:45:53,031 Guess who answered the phone 1:00 a. m. Paris time? 700 00:45:54,533 --> 00:45:57,035 Penelope Pope. 701 00:45:57,077 --> 00:45:59,496 - Who's Penelope Pope? - I have no idea, 702 00:45:59,538 --> 00:46:01,938 but that's what she said when I said, "Who the fuck is this?" 703 00:46:01,963 --> 00:46:06,086 - Oh, God. I don't get it! - Liz, I'm sorry. 704 00:46:06,169 --> 00:46:11,842 I mean, why feed me all that romantic crap if he's just gonna cheat on me? 705 00:46:11,883 --> 00:46:15,012 - Two words: Copulatory imperative. - Excuse me? 706 00:46:15,095 --> 00:46:18,181 It's the biological urge to spread their seed. 707 00:46:18,223 --> 00:46:22,185 The truth is, less than five percent of all male animals are monogamous. 708 00:46:22,269 --> 00:46:25,063 The other 95% are... 709 00:46:25,147 --> 00:46:27,065 Plucking Penelope Pope? 710 00:46:35,657 --> 00:46:38,535 Hi, Jane. 711 00:46:38,577 --> 00:46:41,830 I stopped by H&H on the way in, 712 00:46:41,914 --> 00:46:45,083 picked up a sesame seed bagel... 713 00:46:45,167 --> 00:46:48,003 lightly toasted, just like you liked. 714 00:46:54,092 --> 00:46:56,053 Okay. 715 00:47:04,311 --> 00:47:06,647 Ray has a cold. I'm hoping it will turn into pneumonia... 716 00:47:06,730 --> 00:47:10,442 and that weeks of bed rest will cause abdominal muscles to atrophy. 717 00:47:15,447 --> 00:47:18,408 Ben wants to add a column to the magazine for women. 718 00:47:18,450 --> 00:47:21,536 It finally hit him that 20% of our readership is female. 719 00:47:21,620 --> 00:47:23,747 The idea is for it to be about men. 720 00:47:23,830 --> 00:47:25,791 You know, how they're so paranoid... 721 00:47:25,874 --> 00:47:29,253 - about going bald and that kind of thing. - So... 722 00:47:29,294 --> 00:47:31,797 Forget baldness. The real issue is their behavior. 723 00:47:31,838 --> 00:47:34,675 You know, that stuff like that copulatory impulse... 724 00:47:34,758 --> 00:47:37,219 Imperative. Hey, Bobby, can I get some more hot water? 725 00:47:37,302 --> 00:47:39,263 The point is, I think you should write it. 726 00:47:39,346 --> 00:47:41,807 Are you crazy? 727 00:47:41,890 --> 00:47:44,393 Well, why not? I'm not a writer. I'm not a psychologist. 728 00:47:44,476 --> 00:47:46,395 We don't need a psychologist. 729 00:47:46,478 --> 00:47:48,730 We need someone who's been in the trenches, baby. 730 00:47:48,814 --> 00:47:52,192 Liz, I don't know what I'm talking about. 731 00:47:52,276 --> 00:47:55,946 All I have are a bunch of notebooks filled with ridiculous little factoids. 732 00:47:55,988 --> 00:47:59,324 I mean, this is not a full-time job. This is a hobby. 733 00:47:59,408 --> 00:48:03,287 A sick, twisted, pathetic little hobby. 734 00:48:03,328 --> 00:48:05,968 You get paid to write about something you're already obsessed with. 735 00:48:05,998 --> 00:48:09,126 If you want anonymity, we'll give you a pen name. 736 00:48:09,167 --> 00:48:11,253 I personally think it'd be cathartic for you, 737 00:48:11,336 --> 00:48:15,173 and you'd be doing your dear, sweet, wonderful friend a huge favor. 738 00:48:18,677 --> 00:48:20,721 Pen name? 739 00:48:26,018 --> 00:48:29,479 I'm doing this once. Do you hear me? One time. 740 00:48:29,521 --> 00:48:32,316 - Fine. I'm telling you, it's gonna be fun. - Fun? 741 00:48:32,357 --> 00:48:35,360 I'm helping concoct the background of a nonexistent scientist... 742 00:48:35,444 --> 00:48:40,157 who's about to publish her delusional theories in the nation's top men's magazine. 743 00:48:40,198 --> 00:48:43,243 You're right. This is fun. 744 00:48:43,327 --> 00:48:45,704 Okay, try this... 745 00:48:45,787 --> 00:48:49,374 Born in Sussex, 1937. 746 00:48:51,126 --> 00:48:56,882 Cofounder of the Institute of Pathological Narcissism in Vienna. 747 00:49:09,853 --> 00:49:14,441 - Who is she? - The recently deceased Harriet Gould of Astoria. 748 00:49:14,524 --> 00:49:16,860 No surviving relatives. She's perfect. 749 00:49:16,902 --> 00:49:20,280 - She even has a bun. - That's her. 750 00:49:20,364 --> 00:49:23,158 Dr. Marie Charles. 751 00:49:23,242 --> 00:49:25,661 Oh, my God. 752 00:49:58,777 --> 00:50:01,154 Every bull begins a relationship... 753 00:50:01,238 --> 00:50:04,157 with certain cards up his sleeve... aces. 754 00:50:04,241 --> 00:50:08,620 Tools of seduction by which he lures a new cow. 755 00:50:08,662 --> 00:50:10,956 One of the most notorious examples... 756 00:50:10,998 --> 00:50:13,083 is the current cow sob story. 757 00:50:13,125 --> 00:50:17,337 Allow me to deconstruct the essential elements. 758 00:50:17,421 --> 00:50:20,299 You're so easy to talk to, 759 00:50:20,340 --> 00:50:23,010 not like my current cow. 760 00:50:23,093 --> 00:50:25,470 This is key to understanding the myth of male shyness, 761 00:50:25,554 --> 00:50:27,472 for though you think he is flattering you, 762 00:50:27,556 --> 00:50:29,474 he is actually flattering himself, 763 00:50:29,558 --> 00:50:33,103 showing how open and sensitive and honest he is. 764 00:50:35,272 --> 00:50:39,776 I just try so hard and... 765 00:50:39,860 --> 00:50:43,322 Well, I'm sure she doesn't mean to be such a cold cow. 766 00:50:43,405 --> 00:50:46,783 Just in case you're starting to think he's a coldhearted, home-wrecking womanizer, 767 00:50:46,825 --> 00:50:49,661 he'll throw this in just to prove he's putting his current cow... 768 00:50:49,703 --> 00:50:51,663 out to pasture for good reason, 769 00:50:51,705 --> 00:50:55,083 and that he's actually tormented with guilt at the thought of abandoning her. 770 00:50:55,167 --> 00:50:58,420 What's that thing they always say about the love of a good woman? 771 00:50:58,503 --> 00:51:01,340 That, once offered, it's guaranteed to come back... 772 00:51:01,381 --> 00:51:03,341 and bite her in the ass. 773 00:51:03,342 --> 00:51:05,677 - Enter case in point. - Hey. 774 00:51:05,761 --> 00:51:08,180 - Hey. - Thought you were with what's her name. 775 00:51:08,221 --> 00:51:12,309 - Didn't work out. - You have a little saddle sore on that white horse of yours? 776 00:51:14,269 --> 00:51:17,397 - Okay, so what happened? - Just lost interest. 777 00:51:17,481 --> 00:51:20,108 What do you mean, you lost interest? 778 00:51:20,192 --> 00:51:22,194 How exactly? 779 00:51:22,277 --> 00:51:26,323 Christ, Jane, do we really have to have another postmortem? 780 00:51:26,365 --> 00:51:29,534 I'm just curious is all. So you went to a movie, 781 00:51:29,618 --> 00:51:32,537 then back to her place? 782 00:51:32,621 --> 00:51:35,666 Then what? 783 00:51:35,707 --> 00:51:37,709 So we're in the kitchen getting a drink, 784 00:51:37,793 --> 00:51:39,711 and suddenly, she starts looking for food. 785 00:51:39,795 --> 00:51:43,090 We had dinner right after the movie, but... I don't know. 786 00:51:43,173 --> 00:51:46,426 She was still hungry. She's always hungry, it seems. 787 00:51:46,510 --> 00:51:49,888 And that's bad, Women who eat? 788 00:51:53,392 --> 00:51:57,521 Okay, so you're in the kitchen, she's hungry again, inexplicably, 789 00:51:57,562 --> 00:51:59,439 then what? 790 00:51:59,523 --> 00:52:03,110 So she takes out a pint of Haagen-Dazs... a pint... 791 00:52:03,193 --> 00:52:06,530 and just starts eating it right out of the container, 792 00:52:06,572 --> 00:52:09,950 and there was just something about it that turned me off. 793 00:52:10,033 --> 00:52:13,036 Was the refrigerator door open? 794 00:52:13,120 --> 00:52:15,914 - Why? - Answer the question. Open or closed? 795 00:52:15,998 --> 00:52:18,041 It was open, I think. 796 00:52:18,083 --> 00:52:20,127 Would it have made a difference if it were shut? 797 00:52:20,210 --> 00:52:23,088 Would that have made the act of a nonfat woman eating ice cream... 798 00:52:23,171 --> 00:52:25,090 a little less revolting to you? 799 00:52:25,173 --> 00:52:29,052 What if she'd not had dinner? What if she were legitimately hungry... 800 00:52:29,094 --> 00:52:32,097 before she shoved her face into a trough of Haagen-Dazs? 801 00:52:32,180 --> 00:52:34,180 Would it have repulsed you less if she used a dish? 802 00:52:34,205 --> 00:52:37,436 - Good night, you psycho! - Good night, neophiliac! 803 00:52:37,519 --> 00:52:42,441 Hallelujah Hallelujah 804 00:52:42,524 --> 00:52:45,319 - Hallelujah Hallelujah - Are you sitting down? 805 00:52:45,402 --> 00:52:48,280 Oprah read the article on her show today. 806 00:52:48,322 --> 00:52:50,682 The audience went so crazy for it, she called us personally, 807 00:52:50,766 --> 00:52:52,684 begging for Dr. Charles to appear as her guest. 808 00:52:52,768 --> 00:52:55,954 - What? - I told everyone in P.R. A different story. 809 00:52:56,038 --> 00:52:59,291 She's vacationing in Hong Kong. She's at a conference in Tangiers. 810 00:52:59,374 --> 00:53:02,836 - This is bad. - No, no, no. This is all good. 811 00:53:02,920 --> 00:53:05,547 Okay? Trust me. I've got it all under control. 812 00:53:05,631 --> 00:53:08,175 This won't come anywhere near you. 813 00:53:08,258 --> 00:53:10,802 "And so, while the male may often seem shy... 814 00:53:10,886 --> 00:53:15,933 "with all his Uriah Heep hand-wringin' and 'aw, shucks' toe-kickin', 815 00:53:16,016 --> 00:53:18,727 "he's actually a narcissist... 816 00:53:18,810 --> 00:53:24,191 "because this apparent shyness belies the more deeply rooted feelings... 817 00:53:24,274 --> 00:53:28,111 "of unworthiness and fear of rejection. 818 00:53:28,153 --> 00:53:32,366 "And this is what compels him to constantly seek attention... 819 00:53:32,449 --> 00:53:38,288 from new cow after new cow ad nauseam, ad infinitum." 820 00:53:38,330 --> 00:53:40,666 This is such great stuff. 821 00:53:40,749 --> 00:53:43,752 It obliterates any sentimentality we might have... 822 00:53:43,835 --> 00:53:46,171 about what noble creatures men are. 823 00:53:46,213 --> 00:53:49,508 This right here is what we've been looking for. It's-It's provocative. 824 00:53:49,549 --> 00:53:53,011 It's clever. It's got mass appeal written all over it. 825 00:53:53,053 --> 00:53:55,847 There's just one problem. Nobody can seem to find this woman. 826 00:53:55,931 --> 00:53:58,225 The Today Show's tried. Oprah's tried. 827 00:53:58,308 --> 00:54:00,477 - Yeah, and have you tried? - Eddie? 828 00:54:00,519 --> 00:54:03,897 - Well, no. - Well, get on it! 829 00:54:03,981 --> 00:54:07,067 Do you realize what we're talking about here? 830 00:54:07,150 --> 00:54:10,946 - The ungettable get? - Yes! 831 00:54:11,029 --> 00:54:15,033 I don't care what it takes. You find that Dr. Marie Charles... 832 00:54:15,117 --> 00:54:18,161 and bring her here to my studio. 833 00:54:18,287 --> 00:54:20,847 Let me get this straight. Your best friend works at M magazine... 834 00:54:20,872 --> 00:54:22,833 and she has no idea where this cow doctor is? 835 00:54:22,916 --> 00:54:25,002 That's what she said. 836 00:54:25,043 --> 00:54:27,045 I don't buy that. Why are you holding out on me? 837 00:54:27,087 --> 00:54:29,214 I'm not! I told you she's working on it! 838 00:54:29,298 --> 00:54:31,316 - Just give me her number. - I'm not gonna give you her number. 839 00:54:31,341 --> 00:54:32,884 - Why not? - She's working on it! 840 00:54:32,968 --> 00:54:35,429 Besides, you'd never reach her. She's atJivamukti. 841 00:54:35,512 --> 00:54:37,472 - Yoga. - Yoga what? 842 00:54:37,556 --> 00:54:39,850 - Jivamukti. - Jiv... 843 00:54:42,686 --> 00:54:45,897 - Manhattan. Jivamukti. - Eddie! 844 00:54:45,939 --> 00:54:48,442 It's a yoga place. 845 00:54:48,525 --> 00:54:51,028 Eddie, don't be a jerk! 846 00:54:54,865 --> 00:54:57,242 Eddie, come on! 847 00:54:57,284 --> 00:55:00,037 This is so ridiculous. 848 00:55:00,078 --> 00:55:02,998 Hey, hey, you have to leave your shoes in here. 849 00:55:06,501 --> 00:55:09,588 Liz? Excuse me. 850 00:55:09,671 --> 00:55:14,384 Jerk, she is my best friend. I would certainly know if... 851 00:55:14,426 --> 00:55:16,553 Jane? 852 00:55:17,804 --> 00:55:19,765 Stay! 853 00:55:19,806 --> 00:55:23,268 - Bring your leg up higher. - Excuse me, sir, you're gonna have to leave. 854 00:55:23,310 --> 00:55:25,395 Gee. Sorry. I know. I'm just looking for a friend. 855 00:55:27,856 --> 00:55:30,442 - Sorry. You okay? - Eddie. 856 00:55:34,905 --> 00:55:38,033 How you doin', Becca? 857 00:55:38,116 --> 00:55:40,202 I'm good. 858 00:55:42,162 --> 00:55:44,122 What are you doing here? 859 00:55:46,541 --> 00:55:50,128 I don't know. 860 00:55:51,463 --> 00:55:53,423 Come, class. Let's forget about this disturbance. 861 00:55:53,507 --> 00:55:55,509 It's okay. Everyone, let's come on up. 862 00:55:55,592 --> 00:55:58,804 Get back to your spaces and let's prepare for lion pose. 863 00:55:58,845 --> 00:56:02,474 Hey, inhale. Exhale. Open your mouth. 864 00:56:02,557 --> 00:56:04,601 Stick out your tongue. 865 00:56:04,643 --> 00:56:08,188 That was Rebecca? Eddie, talk to me. 866 00:56:08,272 --> 00:56:10,190 There's nothing to talk about. 867 00:56:10,274 --> 00:56:13,986 - Hi, Liz. - I cannot believe it. 868 00:56:14,069 --> 00:56:16,780 - Hey, Janey! - Hi! Hi, guys! 869 00:56:16,822 --> 00:56:20,117 Eddie, this is my sister Alice and my brother-in-law Stephen. 870 00:56:20,158 --> 00:56:23,787 - You're... Eddie. - Yeah. Hey. 871 00:56:23,870 --> 00:56:26,206 - Are you two taking yoga class together? - No. 872 00:56:26,290 --> 00:56:30,210 - We were just... I... It's stupid. - No, no, it's not stupid. 873 00:56:30,294 --> 00:56:33,134 - We don't think it's stupid. - No. We just started the pregnancy class. 874 00:56:33,159 --> 00:56:34,840 Oh, yeah. Congratulations. 875 00:56:34,923 --> 00:56:37,968 - Thanks. She's a great breather. - Listen, I gotta go. 876 00:56:38,010 --> 00:56:40,679 - Hey, it was really nice to meet you, Eddie. - Bye-bye. 877 00:57:19,343 --> 00:57:22,846 Eddie preferred to leave things unsaid... 878 00:57:22,888 --> 00:57:26,892 and went back to grazing in greener pastures. 879 00:57:28,352 --> 00:57:31,730 Merry Christmas. 880 00:57:31,772 --> 00:57:33,774 Merry Christmas, everyone. 881 00:57:33,857 --> 00:57:35,776 Merry Christmas. 882 00:57:35,859 --> 00:57:38,737 - I'm getting out of here. - Okay. 883 00:57:41,281 --> 00:57:43,575 - Two champagnes, please. - Yes, sir. 884 00:57:43,617 --> 00:57:47,162 Shouldn't that be a champagne and a Shirley Temple? 885 00:57:47,246 --> 00:57:50,374 - Sorry. - No, you're not. 886 00:57:50,457 --> 00:57:54,253 - So where'd you meet her? - She's Emily's roommate. 887 00:57:54,336 --> 00:57:57,589 Emily that I made coffee for last Sunday? 888 00:58:00,050 --> 00:58:02,219 Isn't that complicated? 889 00:58:02,261 --> 00:58:06,098 It's never complicated, Jane. 890 00:58:06,139 --> 00:58:08,141 Thank you. 891 00:58:24,741 --> 00:58:28,245 Evening, sir. What can I get you? 892 00:58:28,328 --> 00:58:30,455 - Scotch, please. - Yes, sir. 893 00:58:30,539 --> 00:58:34,084 Did you hear Diane's joke about the reindeer? 894 00:58:35,669 --> 00:58:37,629 Funny! 895 00:58:41,425 --> 00:58:43,468 - Here you go. - Thank you. 896 00:58:52,936 --> 00:58:55,314 I miss you, Jane. 897 00:59:02,529 --> 00:59:05,908 Am I... Am I supposed to walk away now? 898 00:59:09,703 --> 00:59:12,539 No. 899 00:59:12,623 --> 00:59:16,793 Can we get away from this? Can we do something? 900 00:59:16,835 --> 00:59:19,463 Get together for lunch, dinner, Friday night. 901 00:59:22,674 --> 00:59:24,676 Friday is New Year's Eve. 902 00:59:24,760 --> 00:59:29,139 That's right. That's right. 903 00:59:29,181 --> 00:59:31,141 You probably have some plans. 904 00:59:31,183 --> 00:59:33,143 - Don't you? - Yeah. 905 00:59:33,185 --> 00:59:36,313 Yes, I do. Yes, I do. 906 00:59:36,355 --> 00:59:39,733 I have... 907 00:59:39,816 --> 00:59:43,362 No. 908 00:59:43,445 --> 00:59:47,366 I have none. 909 00:59:47,449 --> 00:59:52,829 Could I call you? Would that be okay? 910 00:59:55,499 --> 00:59:58,460 Yeah. 911 01:00:00,128 --> 01:00:03,840 Merry Christmas, Jane. 912 01:00:03,924 --> 01:00:08,220 Jingle bells Ji-Jingle bells 913 01:00:08,262 --> 01:00:11,348 Well, you can't stop now. We'll do it together. 914 01:00:11,390 --> 01:00:13,600 You're syndicated in over 300 newspapers. 915 01:00:13,684 --> 01:00:15,686 Talk radio is having a field day with it. 916 01:00:15,727 --> 01:00:18,814 Clearly the world is one giant used-cow lot. 917 01:00:18,897 --> 01:00:22,734 - Look, I just want to think about it, okay? - What's there to think about? 918 01:00:22,776 --> 01:00:25,237 You don't want to be a post-feminist icon? 919 01:00:25,279 --> 01:00:29,491 Come on. Let's get something great to wear for Julian's New Year's Eve party. 920 01:00:31,368 --> 01:00:35,539 I meant to tell you that... I kind of made other plans. 921 01:00:35,622 --> 01:00:38,000 I mean, it's nothing major. It's not a big... 922 01:00:38,083 --> 01:00:40,419 - Well... - What are you talking about? 923 01:00:40,502 --> 01:00:44,881 - Ray asked me out. - Ray? 924 01:00:44,923 --> 01:00:47,968 As in Ray Brown? 925 01:00:48,051 --> 01:00:49,970 As in devil incarnate? 926 01:00:50,053 --> 01:00:52,139 No! No, I forbid it! 927 01:00:52,222 --> 01:00:54,308 I thought you were over this. 928 01:00:54,391 --> 01:00:57,269 I think I'm having second thoughts. 929 01:00:57,311 --> 01:01:02,774 So now... Dr. Charles is having them too. 930 01:01:12,910 --> 01:01:15,954 - Done yet? - You got a hot date? 931 01:01:16,038 --> 01:01:18,624 - No, I just have to pee. - Be my guest. 932 01:01:18,707 --> 01:01:21,293 What's this, party Viagra? 933 01:01:21,376 --> 01:01:23,503 No, it's nicotine gum. 934 01:01:23,587 --> 01:01:27,966 - When did you quit? - Since Daphne told me she wanted to marry a smoker. 935 01:01:28,008 --> 01:01:30,302 Here. 936 01:01:30,385 --> 01:01:32,429 Thank you. 937 01:01:32,512 --> 01:01:34,793 Why don't you put on a dress and come out with me tonight? 938 01:01:34,818 --> 01:01:37,017 Why, so I can trail after your harem? 939 01:01:37,100 --> 01:01:39,645 I'm flying solo. I thought I'd keep my options open. 940 01:01:39,728 --> 01:01:41,647 Yeah? 941 01:01:41,730 --> 01:01:43,690 Although that may be for me. 942 01:01:45,776 --> 01:01:47,361 - Hello. - You're home. 943 01:01:47,444 --> 01:01:49,084 Does this mean you've come to your senses? 944 01:01:49,109 --> 01:01:51,240 No, and I only have an hour to get ready. 945 01:01:51,323 --> 01:01:53,367 So quit worrying about me. Go out. Have a good time. 946 01:01:53,450 --> 01:01:56,330 I'm going to wear that red lipstick you gave, and I'll call you tomorrow. 947 01:01:56,355 --> 01:01:58,274 - Okay. Bye. - Bye. 948 01:02:04,294 --> 01:02:06,880 Why are you doing this to yourself? 949 01:02:08,757 --> 01:02:11,468 - Doing what? - Ray. 950 01:02:11,510 --> 01:02:14,221 I don't know what you're talking about. 951 01:02:14,304 --> 01:02:17,224 Okay. 952 01:02:17,307 --> 01:02:22,521 - Well, if you change your mind, this is where I'll be. - Thanks. 953 01:02:22,562 --> 01:02:25,357 I think I'll... jump into my pj's, 954 01:02:25,440 --> 01:02:27,859 probably watch a little TV... 955 01:02:27,901 --> 01:02:30,195 - go to bed early... - Happy New Year. 956 01:02:30,237 --> 01:02:32,281 Same to you! 957 01:02:51,383 --> 01:02:57,180 Now, back to our special New Year's Eve coverage with Hugh Downs. 958 01:02:57,222 --> 01:02:59,850 To recap, it was less than 48 hours ago... 959 01:02:59,933 --> 01:03:02,311 that Ray Brown called to confirm his plans... 960 01:03:02,394 --> 01:03:04,479 to take Jane Goodale out this evening, 961 01:03:04,563 --> 01:03:06,857 a clear indication that he was, indeed, 962 01:03:06,898 --> 01:03:10,068 regretting his decision to terminate their involvement. 963 01:03:10,152 --> 01:03:13,947 So the question remains, why hasn't he shown up yet? 964 01:03:14,031 --> 01:03:17,784 By all accounts, it would appear that Mr. Brown is sticking firmly... 965 01:03:17,868 --> 01:03:20,370 to his September sanctions. 966 01:04:20,764 --> 01:04:26,186 Nine, eight, seven, 967 01:04:26,270 --> 01:04:31,942 six, five, four, three, two, one! 968 01:04:31,984 --> 01:04:33,944 Happy New Year! 969 01:04:36,446 --> 01:04:38,115 Jane! 970 01:05:13,233 --> 01:05:16,028 Jane! 971 01:05:29,583 --> 01:05:31,793 Happy New Year! 972 01:05:40,218 --> 01:05:43,347 - Jane? - Don't even bother. 973 01:05:43,430 --> 01:05:46,141 I need to talk to you. 974 01:05:46,224 --> 01:05:49,645 Excuse me. Why didn't you... Why didn't you return my calls? 975 01:05:49,728 --> 01:05:52,088 You mean the calls that came after the call you didn't make? 976 01:05:52,113 --> 01:05:53,982 I... This is not true. 977 01:05:54,066 --> 01:05:57,653 It's so true. 978 01:06:02,282 --> 01:06:04,326 Will you stop for just a moment? 979 01:06:04,409 --> 01:06:06,328 - Hey, Jane. - Listen, I know it was inexcus... 980 01:06:06,411 --> 01:06:08,330 - Good morning! - Hi, Jane. Ray. 981 01:06:08,413 --> 01:06:11,875 - There's a reason I didn't show up that night. - I'm sure there is. 982 01:06:11,917 --> 01:06:13,877 And you know what? I couldn't possibly care less. 983 01:06:13,919 --> 01:06:15,879 So let's forget about it. Okay! 984 01:06:15,921 --> 01:06:18,090 I don't suppose you're interested in hearing me out. 985 01:06:18,173 --> 01:06:20,300 You know what, Ray? The truth is... 986 01:06:20,384 --> 01:06:23,178 Hi! You did me a favor. 987 01:06:23,262 --> 01:06:26,098 Any delusions I may have still had about you, they're gone now. 988 01:06:27,057 --> 01:06:29,768 It was a gift. You released me. 989 01:06:29,851 --> 01:06:32,354 For the first time in months, I feel great. 990 01:06:32,437 --> 01:06:36,233 - Staff meeting in my office in two minutes. - Okay, be right there. 991 01:06:38,402 --> 01:06:42,447 What's wrong? 992 01:06:42,531 --> 01:06:45,576 Diane's wearing your shirt. 993 01:06:45,659 --> 01:06:48,620 The shirt I bought you on the sidewalk. 994 01:06:54,167 --> 01:06:57,421 So, does that mean that the... 995 01:06:57,462 --> 01:07:01,300 - the two of you are... - Seeing each other again. 996 01:07:01,341 --> 01:07:04,803 - Yes. That's what I've been trying to explain. - Wait. Stop. 997 01:07:04,886 --> 01:07:07,222 Did you say, "Again"? 998 01:07:07,306 --> 01:07:10,601 I should have told you a long time ago, 999 01:07:10,642 --> 01:07:13,270 but Diane insisted on keeping it quiet. 1000 01:07:13,353 --> 01:07:15,564 We got back together right before New Year's and... 1001 01:07:15,647 --> 01:07:19,401 and we went away for a couple of days, and it was terrible of me to not call, but I... 1002 01:07:19,484 --> 01:07:22,362 Ray, I've got Tony Robbins on line three! 1003 01:07:22,446 --> 01:07:26,450 - Go on. - I'm really sorry, Jane. 1004 01:07:46,428 --> 01:07:49,723 Hey, what is it? 1005 01:07:49,806 --> 01:07:52,851 - "D... " She's "D." - I'm not following. 1006 01:07:52,935 --> 01:07:55,646 Di... Di... "D." Diane is "D." 1007 01:07:55,729 --> 01:07:58,523 Yes. "D" is for Diane. "E" is for Eddie. 1008 01:07:58,565 --> 01:08:01,360 Ray's "D." She's the one! 1009 01:08:01,401 --> 01:08:03,862 I mean, she was... She is the one. I mean, she... 1010 01:08:05,989 --> 01:08:07,991 Just breathe. Breathe, Jane. Breathe. 1011 01:08:08,075 --> 01:08:10,535 Now, let me get this straight. Ray and Diane are together? 1012 01:08:10,619 --> 01:08:13,163 - Back together. Together again. - All right. I get it. 1013 01:08:13,247 --> 01:08:15,666 - Let it go. Ray and Diane? - Yeah! 1014 01:08:15,707 --> 01:08:17,668 Okay... It doesn't matter. 1015 01:08:17,709 --> 01:08:19,836 That chapter's over, remember? It doesn't matter. 1016 01:08:19,878 --> 01:08:21,964 Now we got to go in there, so pull it together. 1017 01:08:22,047 --> 01:08:24,299 Do you hear me? Don't cry. 1018 01:08:24,383 --> 01:08:26,843 Don't cry, please. You're gonna be fine. 1019 01:08:26,885 --> 01:08:28,971 - Okay. - We're gonna go in there. 1020 01:08:29,054 --> 01:08:32,057 - Good. You all right? - Okay. 1021 01:08:33,684 --> 01:08:37,104 Jane, where are we for next week? 1022 01:08:37,187 --> 01:08:40,691 We're all set with Gerard Depardieu. Right, Jane? 1023 01:08:40,732 --> 01:08:44,695 Good. New movie? 1024 01:08:44,736 --> 01:08:46,947 Amazing. Amazing. 1025 01:08:47,030 --> 01:08:49,658 I actually... I saw it. It's... 1026 01:08:49,741 --> 01:08:52,077 about a man whose whole marriage falls apart and... 1027 01:08:52,119 --> 01:08:54,746 I mean, it's brutal, actually. I mean... 1028 01:08:54,830 --> 01:08:57,082 You know, they show the whole love story first. 1029 01:08:57,124 --> 01:09:00,877 You see that this woman means... everything to this-this man. 1030 01:09:00,919 --> 01:09:03,964 In fact, there's this-this... this one scene... 1031 01:09:04,047 --> 01:09:07,718 where he actually sits in just a... a dark... 1032 01:09:07,759 --> 01:09:11,972 It's very touching. He's sits in a dark room, and he just... 1033 01:09:12,055 --> 01:09:15,559 You just start to see the-the tears and stuff. 1034 01:09:15,601 --> 01:09:19,438 I mean, the man is completely, you know, broken, and you feel it. 1035 01:09:19,479 --> 01:09:21,959 You really feel it, and it's devastating. It's a devastating... 1036 01:09:24,443 --> 01:09:27,654 Is this a joke? 1037 01:09:28,655 --> 01:09:30,741 No. What do you mean? 1038 01:09:33,577 --> 01:09:37,873 I mean... I mean, is this a joke? 1039 01:09:37,956 --> 01:09:42,294 - No, I saw it two nights ago. - What's so funny, Jane? 1040 01:09:42,377 --> 01:09:46,089 - Can you believe this guy? - I know, I... 1041 01:09:46,173 --> 01:09:49,092 So sensitive... So... 1042 01:09:49,134 --> 01:09:52,971 So devastated when it comes to some chubby French guy, but! 1043 01:09:53,055 --> 01:09:57,059 Stomp on somebody's heart in real life, and where's his sorry-ass pity then? 1044 01:09:57,142 --> 01:10:00,103 Nowhere! Why? Because he doesn't get it! 1045 01:10:00,145 --> 01:10:02,564 He never gets it! 1046 01:10:02,648 --> 01:10:04,608 Someone please explain it to me. 1047 01:10:04,691 --> 01:10:09,238 Because I don't know what you are talking about! 1048 01:10:17,704 --> 01:10:20,499 - Evelyn, is she free? - Yeah. She is. 1049 01:10:20,582 --> 01:10:22,501 Thanks. 1050 01:10:31,343 --> 01:10:35,138 I'm sorry, Diane. L... I don't know where that came from. 1051 01:10:35,180 --> 01:10:38,642 Well, I do. I know exactly where it came from. 1052 01:10:38,725 --> 01:10:40,686 You do? 1053 01:10:40,727 --> 01:10:43,689 Some guy crushed you under his boot heel, 1054 01:10:43,730 --> 01:10:46,191 and you lashed out at poor Ray as being... 1055 01:10:46,233 --> 01:10:48,318 representative of the prick that did that to you. 1056 01:10:48,402 --> 01:10:52,823 - I'm right, aren't I? - More or less. 1057 01:10:52,864 --> 01:10:54,825 Well, you can't do it, Jane. 1058 01:10:54,866 --> 01:10:57,619 - I don't care how much it hurts. - I know. 1059 01:10:57,703 --> 01:10:59,705 No, you don't know. Now, sit down and listen to me. 1060 01:11:05,544 --> 01:11:07,796 I'm gonna let you in on a little secret. 1061 01:11:09,590 --> 01:11:13,635 About six months ago, my boyfriend tried to leave me. 1062 01:11:13,719 --> 01:11:17,180 Well, he did. He left. 1063 01:11:17,264 --> 01:11:22,728 And I was devastated. I was destroyed. Did you see it? 1064 01:11:25,772 --> 01:11:29,610 - No. I didn't. No. - Right. 1065 01:11:29,693 --> 01:11:33,947 Do you know why? Because if I fall apart, 1066 01:11:34,031 --> 01:11:36,116 everything around me falls apart... 1067 01:11:36,199 --> 01:11:41,663 everything that I have worked my entire life for. 1068 01:11:41,747 --> 01:11:44,041 - Do you love him? - Wh-Who? 1069 01:11:44,082 --> 01:11:48,670 - Him. The guy. - I don't know. 1070 01:11:48,754 --> 01:11:52,382 Of course you do. Now, have you talked to him lately? 1071 01:11:52,466 --> 01:11:56,053 No. No. Not ex... Not exactly talked. 1072 01:11:56,136 --> 01:12:00,223 Do it. Do it. Talk to him. 1073 01:12:02,392 --> 01:12:07,356 I used to feel that if I kept my heart to myself, 1074 01:12:07,439 --> 01:12:12,027 If I never let him know how much I needed him, that he would never leave me. 1075 01:12:12,110 --> 01:12:14,947 Well, guess what? He did. 1076 01:12:15,030 --> 01:12:19,576 And I lived in a private, pathetic puddle... 1077 01:12:19,660 --> 01:12:22,204 until I couldn't stand it anymore, 1078 01:12:22,287 --> 01:12:25,332 And so you know what I did? I showed up at his doorstep... 1079 01:12:25,415 --> 01:12:29,211 with two corned beef sandwiches on rye, lightly toasted, 1080 01:12:29,294 --> 01:12:33,757 and I told him that I was lost without him. 1081 01:12:33,840 --> 01:12:36,009 You said that? 1082 01:12:36,093 --> 01:12:40,097 Pretty progressive? And I'm happy. Go figure. 1083 01:12:40,138 --> 01:12:42,140 I never thought I'd be happy. 1084 01:12:47,646 --> 01:12:49,773 And you believe her? 1085 01:12:49,815 --> 01:12:52,901 This is true love? This is what we all should be looking for? 1086 01:12:52,985 --> 01:12:55,529 That is the most tragic thing I've ever heard. 1087 01:12:55,612 --> 01:13:00,200 We're talking about a woman whose boyfriend was screwing you in order to get away from her. 1088 01:13:00,284 --> 01:13:02,452 And she's the authority on romance? 1089 01:13:02,494 --> 01:13:05,330 The only reason she believes that crap is because she has to. 1090 01:13:05,414 --> 01:13:07,791 She's an old cow. 1091 01:13:07,833 --> 01:13:12,004 Truth is all we need to do is adjust our radar a bit. 1092 01:13:12,087 --> 01:13:15,132 You know, learn to be attracted to men we're simply not attracted to. 1093 01:13:15,173 --> 01:13:18,176 Hang on. What are you talking about? 1094 01:13:18,260 --> 01:13:21,305 Well, for example, normally... 1095 01:13:21,346 --> 01:13:24,600 I might be attracted to a guy like you. 1096 01:13:24,683 --> 01:13:28,520 But thanks to Dr. Charles, I've learned to control my passion for testosterone, 1097 01:13:28,604 --> 01:13:30,522 and now I can proudly say... 1098 01:13:30,606 --> 01:13:35,027 that I no longer find you in the least bit desirable. 1099 01:13:35,110 --> 01:13:38,030 Oh, gee. That's swell. 1100 01:13:38,113 --> 01:13:40,324 I need a drink. 1101 01:13:42,034 --> 01:13:45,495 Does she have any idea that she's completely insane? 1102 01:13:45,579 --> 01:13:49,875 No. She's right. Diane is an old cow. He cannot go back to her. 1103 01:13:49,958 --> 01:13:52,461 Okay, that's it. 1104 01:13:52,544 --> 01:13:57,507 Jane, these are people, not cows! 1105 01:14:08,143 --> 01:14:10,062 Hello. 1106 01:14:16,777 --> 01:14:18,904 I should have known you would take his side. 1107 01:14:18,987 --> 01:14:22,449 This isn't about sides, Jane. It's about dealing with reality. 1108 01:14:22,532 --> 01:14:25,410 - And you need to get a grip. - That's rich... 1109 01:14:25,452 --> 01:14:28,872 coming from an emotional moron who's whoring his way through Manhattan, 1110 01:14:28,914 --> 01:14:31,541 using women like A.T.M. Machines. 1111 01:14:31,625 --> 01:14:34,920 That's great. I get dumped, sleep around, and I'm a moron. 1112 01:14:35,003 --> 01:14:37,422 You, you get dumped and become the disciple... 1113 01:14:37,464 --> 01:14:40,217 of some crone-slash-quack behavioral scientist... 1114 01:14:40,283 --> 01:14:43,403 who can't tell the difference between quadrupeds and bipeds, and you're normal. 1115 01:14:43,428 --> 01:14:45,973 - She is not a crone. And she is not a quack! - How do you know? 1116 01:14:46,056 --> 01:14:48,642 Who gives a shit? 1117 01:14:48,725 --> 01:14:52,437 You know, while you were out there buying these theories about the horrors of men... 1118 01:14:52,521 --> 01:14:54,898 And why guys like Ray won't ever come back, 1119 01:14:54,940 --> 01:14:57,234 deep down inside you're hoping he would. 1120 01:14:57,317 --> 01:15:00,904 Men are evil. Men are scum. But please, Ray, won't you make a liar out of me? 1121 01:15:00,988 --> 01:15:03,574 Well, you got what you asked for, Jane. 1122 01:15:03,615 --> 01:15:06,618 He did go back. He just did it with the wrong girl! 1123 01:15:09,079 --> 01:15:11,540 It's over! Over. 1124 01:15:12,791 --> 01:15:15,502 - Why can't you just let it go? - Because. 1125 01:15:15,586 --> 01:15:17,754 - Because why? - Because I can't. 1126 01:15:17,838 --> 01:15:21,717 - Why? - Because I was happy. 1127 01:15:21,800 --> 01:15:24,720 Because if this... theory is wrong, 1128 01:15:24,803 --> 01:15:27,806 men don't leave all women, Eddie, they leave me. 1129 01:15:35,480 --> 01:15:39,026 I know what it does to you. I know. 1130 01:15:39,109 --> 01:15:42,571 Maybe that's why we hold on as hard as we do. 1131 01:15:42,654 --> 01:15:47,367 We just can't believe that such a miracle can ever happen to us twice. 1132 01:15:47,451 --> 01:15:47,951 And... 1133 01:15:52,331 --> 01:15:54,333 But it can. 1134 01:15:56,335 --> 01:16:00,005 Someday you'll find it again. 1135 01:16:00,088 --> 01:16:03,884 I promise you. Look at me. 1136 01:16:03,967 --> 01:16:07,554 - A mess. - I'm looking at you. 1137 01:16:10,223 --> 01:16:13,185 And you're beautiful. 1138 01:16:13,226 --> 01:16:17,397 Hey, you are beautiful. 1139 01:16:19,316 --> 01:16:24,321 You're intelligent... and real. 1140 01:16:28,951 --> 01:16:32,079 And Ray is not the last man you're ever gonna love. 1141 01:16:42,422 --> 01:16:45,717 I promise you he's not. 1142 01:17:43,817 --> 01:17:46,862 Oh, my God. 1143 01:18:31,281 --> 01:18:33,492 Hi. 1144 01:18:34,785 --> 01:18:36,703 Hi. 1145 01:18:36,787 --> 01:18:40,499 Listen. 1146 01:18:43,377 --> 01:18:45,379 - L... - No, no, no. 1147 01:18:45,462 --> 01:18:47,881 No. No. 1148 01:18:47,965 --> 01:18:50,842 No, you're not going to analyze this one, Jane. 1149 01:18:50,884 --> 01:18:55,305 - I'm not? - No. No. 1150 01:18:55,347 --> 01:18:59,309 You're so hell-bent on making sure things fit, you miss out on all the fun when they don't. 1151 01:18:59,351 --> 01:19:01,353 Well, I... 1152 01:19:01,436 --> 01:19:05,816 No? Right now you're trying to rationalize last night. 1153 01:19:05,857 --> 01:19:08,527 Yeah? Worrying about what might have happened. 1154 01:19:08,610 --> 01:19:11,405 Me, I'm just getting a kick out of the fact that I... 1155 01:19:11,488 --> 01:19:13,991 spent an entire night with you in my arms, 1156 01:19:14,074 --> 01:19:16,076 and I didn't even cop a feel. 1157 01:19:21,164 --> 01:19:24,167 Well... 1158 01:19:24,209 --> 01:19:27,588 maybe one. 1159 01:19:31,216 --> 01:19:34,678 What? 1160 01:19:34,761 --> 01:19:38,098 Well, I'm relieved. 1161 01:19:38,181 --> 01:19:41,810 I mean, for a second there, I... 1162 01:19:41,893 --> 01:19:47,190 I thought maybe you thought last night was... 1163 01:19:47,232 --> 01:19:52,863 You know, or that you would... think... 1164 01:19:52,905 --> 01:19:56,950 That would've really blown your Dr. Charles out of the water? 1165 01:19:58,577 --> 01:20:02,706 Temporarily maybe, but you would have shown your spots eventually. 1166 01:20:02,748 --> 01:20:07,294 - My spots. - Oh, come on, Eddie. 1167 01:20:07,377 --> 01:20:10,547 Men never fail to do what's in their nature to do. 1168 01:20:15,385 --> 01:20:18,096 And what is that, Jane? 1169 01:20:18,180 --> 01:20:22,100 Disappoint you? Abandon you? 1170 01:20:25,437 --> 01:20:29,149 What's really behind these theories? 1171 01:20:29,274 --> 01:20:32,027 What are you hiding? 1172 01:20:32,110 --> 01:20:34,988 Nothing. 1173 01:20:38,033 --> 01:20:40,244 Sorry. What you see is what you get. 1174 01:20:40,285 --> 01:20:43,747 Is it? 1175 01:20:46,792 --> 01:20:50,087 You know, this is not about my nature, Jane. This is about yours. 1176 01:21:06,520 --> 01:21:08,772 - Hello. - Janey? 1177 01:21:08,814 --> 01:21:11,024 Listen, Stephen. Can I call y'all back? 1178 01:21:11,108 --> 01:21:15,529 Your sister's in the hospital. We lost the baby, kiddo. 1179 01:21:22,911 --> 01:21:26,331 Hey, Janey. 1180 01:21:39,011 --> 01:21:42,014 Did you see Stephen? 1181 01:21:42,097 --> 01:21:44,308 I saw him in the hallway... 1182 01:21:44,349 --> 01:21:46,351 - Getting water. - Getting ice. 1183 01:21:46,435 --> 01:21:50,063 Good luck. God love him. 1184 01:21:50,147 --> 01:21:53,650 They break so easily, don't they? 1185 01:22:01,742 --> 01:22:04,620 Last weekend, he woke up in a panic. 1186 01:22:04,703 --> 01:22:08,874 He said that he had to go shopping for the baby. 1187 01:22:08,957 --> 01:22:12,628 You know how anal he is. I thought he was gonna come back with... 1188 01:22:12,711 --> 01:22:16,506 thermometers and baby blankets and safety gates. 1189 01:22:16,548 --> 01:22:21,678 When he walked in the door, all he had was this little, tiny bag... 1190 01:22:21,720 --> 01:22:26,516 and inside was this... 1191 01:22:26,558 --> 01:22:29,102 this perfect little baseball mitt. 1192 01:22:38,737 --> 01:22:42,991 He got it in his head that it was going to be a boy. 1193 01:22:43,075 --> 01:22:45,827 Janey. 1194 01:22:53,919 --> 01:22:56,546 Okay, I've got ice. 1195 01:22:56,588 --> 01:23:01,134 I've got blankets. I've got magazines. 1196 01:23:08,392 --> 01:23:12,271 Look at my wife. 1197 01:23:14,982 --> 01:23:18,777 Have you ever seen anyone more beautiful? 1198 01:23:18,860 --> 01:23:22,573 You're nuts. 1199 01:23:54,062 --> 01:23:56,273 Diane, it's Jane. 1200 01:23:56,356 --> 01:24:01,153 I found Dr. Charles, 1201 01:24:06,116 --> 01:24:09,912 Okay, is everybody ready to have a good time? 1202 01:24:09,995 --> 01:24:12,515 Now, come on. You're going to have to do a lot better than that. 1203 01:24:14,583 --> 01:24:17,002 Okay, let me explain how everything on the show's gonna work. 1204 01:24:17,044 --> 01:24:20,297 - It's a really informal show... - Yo, Ray! Do we have her on the line yet? 1205 01:24:20,339 --> 01:24:24,259 Two minutes. The magazine's putting her through. 1206 01:24:24,343 --> 01:24:27,554 - All right! - Two minutes. 1207 01:24:27,638 --> 01:24:31,350 - Diane, two minutes. - So, Diane's going to come out. 1208 01:24:31,433 --> 01:24:34,113 The first guest is going to come. We have about a 15-minute segment. 1209 01:24:34,138 --> 01:24:37,105 Our first interview is gonna be on the telephone, okay? 1210 01:24:37,189 --> 01:24:39,107 Dr. Marie Charles. 1211 01:24:50,702 --> 01:24:54,998 I'm going to ask you one more time. Are you 100% sure you want to do this? 1212 01:24:55,082 --> 01:24:57,376 I'm sure. I'm sorry to put you in this position. 1213 01:24:57,459 --> 01:25:00,379 Don't worry about me. I just want to make sure you haven't lost your mind. 1214 01:25:00,404 --> 01:25:02,881 Maybe I have. Here she is, Ray. 1215 01:25:02,965 --> 01:25:07,511 Dr. Charles. 1216 01:25:11,598 --> 01:25:15,602 Welcome. Rarely have I had the honor to host... 1217 01:25:15,686 --> 01:25:18,146 such a distinguished and extraordinary guest. 1218 01:25:18,230 --> 01:25:22,192 Today, Dr. Marie Charles speaks out for the first time... 1219 01:25:22,234 --> 01:25:24,611 since the publication of her searing article... 1220 01:25:24,695 --> 01:25:27,030 Network says we've already had 20,000 hits on the web site. 1221 01:25:27,072 --> 01:25:30,534 Holy cow. The reclusive Dr. Charles... 1222 01:25:30,617 --> 01:25:34,746 has agreed to an exclusive, live telephone interview. 1223 01:25:34,830 --> 01:25:37,499 And I consider it a rare gift... 1224 01:25:37,583 --> 01:25:42,212 from someone whose work has meant a tremendous amount in my life, 1225 01:25:42,296 --> 01:25:45,257 as I'm sure yours. 1226 01:25:45,299 --> 01:25:48,635 Dr. Marie Charles 1227 01:25:48,719 --> 01:25:50,887 Hello, Dr. Charles. Are you there? 1228 01:25:50,929 --> 01:25:54,975 Hello, Dr. Charles. Can you hear me? 1229 01:25:55,058 --> 01:25:56,893 I'm getting nothing. 1230 01:25:59,771 --> 01:26:01,931 - Where the hell is she? Where's the feed? - Excuse me. 1231 01:26:01,956 --> 01:26:04,276 We seem to be having some technical difficulties. 1232 01:26:04,318 --> 01:26:06,820 If you'll just bear with us, I'm sure we'll get it repaired. 1233 01:26:09,489 --> 01:26:11,825 Tell them to patch it through on the other line. 1234 01:26:11,909 --> 01:26:14,161 - We can't. We only have one dedicated line. - Shit! 1235 01:26:18,665 --> 01:26:20,626 Okay, take us to commercial. 1236 01:26:20,667 --> 01:26:22,920 She's here. She wants to go on. 1237 01:26:24,129 --> 01:26:26,590 Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. 1238 01:26:26,673 --> 01:26:29,426 She's here. Well, ladies and gentlemen, 1239 01:26:29,468 --> 01:26:32,054 it seems that the reason we've been unable to get through... 1240 01:26:32,137 --> 01:26:34,097 to Dr. Charles telephonically... 1241 01:26:34,139 --> 01:26:36,642 is because at this moment she is right here in our studio, 1242 01:26:36,683 --> 01:26:39,519 having decided to do the interview in person after all. 1243 01:26:39,603 --> 01:26:42,105 - Holy shit. - So let's not waste any more time. 1244 01:26:42,189 --> 01:26:45,275 Join me in welcoming Dr. Marie Charles! 1245 01:26:49,279 --> 01:26:52,532 - Makeup? - Stop. Stop. 1246 01:26:52,616 --> 01:26:54,868 Show yourself, Dr. Charles. 1247 01:26:57,162 --> 01:27:00,540 Wake up! 1248 01:27:06,296 --> 01:27:08,799 Jane, what's going on? Where's Dr. Charles? 1249 01:27:12,052 --> 01:27:14,388 There is no Dr. Charles. 1250 01:27:14,471 --> 01:27:16,682 There never was. 1251 01:27:19,017 --> 01:27:23,939 I invented her, Diane. 1252 01:27:24,022 --> 01:27:27,943 - You... - I invented her because... 1253 01:27:28,026 --> 01:27:32,573 I had something to say, and... somehow... 1254 01:27:32,656 --> 01:27:39,329 I thought if... if-if-if it were coming from a 65-year-old Ph. D., 1255 01:27:39,413 --> 01:27:41,623 that you would see it the way I had... 1256 01:27:41,707 --> 01:27:47,504 as a truth, as a legitimate, scientific truth. 1257 01:27:47,546 --> 01:27:52,009 But it isn't. It's completely ridiculous. 1258 01:27:52,092 --> 01:27:52,592 And... 1259 01:27:56,972 --> 01:27:59,349 I lied to you all, and I lied to myself. 1260 01:27:59,391 --> 01:28:03,812 Because the real truth is that... 1261 01:28:07,733 --> 01:28:10,819 I was heartbroken... and lost. 1262 01:28:10,902 --> 01:28:14,698 You know, and I just wanted to understand it somehow. 1263 01:28:14,740 --> 01:28:19,661 I wanted it to be... about them. 1264 01:28:19,745 --> 01:28:22,873 So everything I thought I had figured out was completely upside-down. 1265 01:28:22,956 --> 01:28:25,542 I thought this bull had gone on to another new cow, 1266 01:28:25,584 --> 01:28:28,211 when, in fact, she was an old cow who had become a new cow again. 1267 01:28:28,295 --> 01:28:31,048 I mean, what was I talking about? 1268 01:28:31,131 --> 01:28:35,052 I was comparing men to animals, 1269 01:28:35,093 --> 01:28:38,555 which... okay, let's face it... sometimes they are. 1270 01:28:40,724 --> 01:28:44,186 But sometimes they are not. 1271 01:28:44,269 --> 01:28:48,106 Sometimes you open the barn door, 1272 01:28:48,148 --> 01:28:50,108 or the hospital room door... 1273 01:28:50,150 --> 01:28:54,905 or the bedroom door and... 1274 01:28:54,988 --> 01:28:58,450 you find the real thing. 1275 01:28:58,533 --> 01:29:02,329 You find a guy who... 1276 01:29:02,412 --> 01:29:05,457 can sit with you when you are at your absolute worst, 1277 01:29:05,540 --> 01:29:08,669 when you are knee-deep in Kleenex, and your face looks like a punching bag, 1278 01:29:08,752 --> 01:29:11,338 and you are a complete and total mess. 1279 01:29:11,421 --> 01:29:14,758 And he... 1280 01:29:14,800 --> 01:29:17,928 can still look at you and tell you... 1281 01:29:18,011 --> 01:29:22,975 that Ray is not the last man you're ever going to love. 1282 01:29:38,282 --> 01:29:42,494 Eddie! Oh, my God. 1283 01:29:48,041 --> 01:29:51,169 Hey, are you all right? 1284 01:29:51,253 --> 01:29:54,381 All right. There you go. Late edition. 1285 01:30:01,513 --> 01:30:04,558 I been searching a long time 1286 01:30:07,686 --> 01:30:10,814 For someone exactly like you 1287 01:30:15,402 --> 01:30:18,322 - I've been traveling all around the world - Eddie! 1288 01:30:18,363 --> 01:30:20,699 Eddie! 1289 01:30:20,782 --> 01:30:25,329 - Oh, Eddie! - Waiting for you to come through 1290 01:30:26,705 --> 01:30:33,629 Someone like you can make it all worthwhile 1291 01:30:33,712 --> 01:30:36,840 Someone like you 1292 01:30:36,882 --> 01:30:39,509 - Keep me satisfied - Eddie! Eddie! 1293 01:30:39,593 --> 01:30:44,097 Stop. Stop. 1294 01:30:54,983 --> 01:30:57,361 So, what you see is what you get? 1295 01:30:59,738 --> 01:31:03,450 Minus a few gray hairs and a Ph. D., yeah. 1296 01:31:06,745 --> 01:31:09,539 I'm really sorry, Eddie. 1297 01:31:11,959 --> 01:31:14,294 You should have told me. 1298 01:31:14,378 --> 01:31:17,005 I should have told you a lot of things. 1299 01:31:18,090 --> 01:31:20,050 You were right. 1300 01:31:22,010 --> 01:31:24,221 It was about my nature. 1301 01:31:25,430 --> 01:31:29,059 Out of all the things you said to me that night, 1302 01:31:29,142 --> 01:31:32,479 what scared me the most is... 1303 01:31:32,562 --> 01:31:35,732 that I would find it again. 1304 01:31:35,774 --> 01:31:39,236 Because I have. 1305 01:31:44,575 --> 01:31:48,620 Would you please say something? 1306 01:31:51,957 --> 01:31:54,293 No. 1307 01:31:59,965 --> 01:32:04,052 I have been 1308 01:32:04,136 --> 01:32:08,015 All around the world 1309 01:32:08,098 --> 01:32:11,602 Marching to the beat of a different drum 1310 01:32:14,813 --> 01:32:17,983 So you're saying? 1311 01:32:19,484 --> 01:32:22,779 What do we got to lose? 1312 01:32:22,863 --> 01:32:26,450 - Everything? - Exactly. 1313 01:32:26,533 --> 01:32:30,495 ♪ Someone like you 1314 01:32:30,537 --> 01:32:33,081 ♪ Can make it all worthwhile 1315 01:32:33,165 --> 01:32:36,793 ♪ Someone like you 1316 01:32:36,877 --> 01:32:39,171 ♪ Keep me satisfied 1317 01:32:39,254 --> 01:32:42,674 ♪ Someone exactly like you 1318 01:32:44,509 --> 01:32:49,473 ♪ Someone exactly like you 1319 01:32:52,225 --> 01:32:56,355 ♪ Someone exactly like you 1320 01:32:59,066 --> 01:33:03,779 ♪ The best is yet to come 1321 01:33:05,530 --> 01:33:08,825 ♪ The best is yet to come 1322 01:33:18,877 --> 01:33:20,796 ♪ Yeah 1323 01:33:25,592 --> 01:33:30,347 ♪ How do you do it anyway 1324 01:33:30,389 --> 01:33:33,725 ♪ Like there ain't nothing to it 1325 01:33:33,809 --> 01:33:36,853 ♪ To make me stay 1326 01:33:36,895 --> 01:33:40,107 ♪ No tricks with smoke and mirrors 1327 01:33:40,190 --> 01:33:42,901 ♪ Not anything up your sleeve 1328 01:33:42,985 --> 01:33:45,696 ♪ A second look and it can't be clearer 1329 01:33:45,737 --> 01:33:48,115 ♪ It's no mystery 1330 01:33:48,198 --> 01:33:53,579 ♪ It's in the way you love 1331 01:33:53,662 --> 01:33:59,001 ♪ It's in the little things you say 1332 01:33:59,084 --> 01:34:03,130 ♪ It's in the way you live 1333 01:34:05,007 --> 01:34:10,887 ♪ And give your heart away 1334 01:34:10,929 --> 01:34:16,518 ♪ It's in the chance you took 1335 01:34:16,602 --> 01:34:22,399 ♪ It's in the way you look at me 1336 01:34:22,441 --> 01:34:28,322 ♪ That sets you a world apart 1337 01:34:28,405 --> 01:34:33,744 ♪ And makes you who you are 1338 01:34:33,785 --> 01:34:37,581 ♪ And you are 1339 01:34:37,623 --> 01:34:39,791 ♪ Beautiful 1340 01:34:39,875 --> 01:34:41,877 ♪ You are 1341 01:34:46,757 --> 01:34:52,429 ♪ Pressed on my soul your fingerprints 1342 01:34:52,471 --> 01:34:57,601 ♪ Goin' where no one's ever been 1343 01:34:57,643 --> 01:35:01,021 ♪ Well, I don't know how but I know you're in it 1344 01:35:01,104 --> 01:35:03,941 ♪ My life my world, my dreams 1345 01:35:03,982 --> 01:35:06,526 ♪ I try but I just can't pin it 1346 01:35:06,610 --> 01:35:08,862 ♪ Down to one thing 1347 01:35:08,946 --> 01:35:14,284 ♪ It's in the way you love 1348 01:35:14,368 --> 01:35:19,122 ♪ It's in the little things you say 1349 01:35:23,001 --> 01:35:27,339 ♪ Fighting fire with fire 1350 01:35:27,422 --> 01:35:29,341 ♪ Watch out 1351 01:35:29,424 --> 01:35:31,635 ♪ You might get what you're after 1352 01:35:31,718 --> 01:35:33,679 ♪ Cool babies 1353 01:35:33,720 --> 01:35:36,473 ♪ Strange but not a stranger 1354 01:35:36,556 --> 01:35:40,936 ♪ I'm an ordinary guy 1355 01:35:41,019 --> 01:35:42,980 ♪ Burning down the house 1356 01:35:44,606 --> 01:35:46,608 ♪ Hold tight 1357 01:35:46,692 --> 01:35:49,069 ♪ Wait till the party's over 1358 01:35:49,152 --> 01:35:51,113 ♪ Hold tight 1359 01:35:51,196 --> 01:35:54,074 ♪ We're in for nasty weather 1360 01:35:54,157 --> 01:35:58,328 ♪ There has got to be a way 1361 01:35:58,412 --> 01:36:01,164 ♪ Burning down the house 1362 01:36:01,248 --> 01:36:03,917 ♪ Here's you ticket Pack your bags 1363 01:36:04,001 --> 01:36:06,587 ♪ Time for jumpin' overboard 1364 01:36:06,670 --> 01:36:10,132 ♪ Transportation is here 1365 01:36:10,215 --> 01:36:15,178 ♪ Close enough but not too far Maybe you know where you are 1366 01:36:15,262 --> 01:36:18,223 ♪ Fight fire with fire 1367 01:36:19,725 --> 01:36:21,685 ♪ All wet 1368 01:36:21,727 --> 01:36:24,021 ♪ Hey, you might need a raincoat 1369 01:36:24,104 --> 01:36:26,064 ♪ Shakedown 1370 01:36:26,106 --> 01:36:28,483 ♪ Dreams walking in broad daylight 1371 01:36:28,567 --> 01:36:33,322 ♪ Three hundred sixty-five degrees 1372 01:36:33,405 --> 01:36:36,617 ♪ Burning down the house 1373 01:36:36,700 --> 01:36:41,538 ♪ Here was once upon a place Sometimes I listen to myself 1374 01:36:41,580 --> 01:36:45,334 ♪ Gonna come in first place 1375 01:36:45,417 --> 01:36:50,339 ♪ People on their way to work Baby, what did you expect 1376 01:36:50,422 --> 01:36:54,134 ♪ Gonna burst into flame 1377 01:36:54,217 --> 01:36:58,931 ♪ I don't know what you expect staring into your TV set 1378 01:36:59,014 --> 01:37:02,351 ♪ Fighting fire with fire 1379 01:37:08,398 --> 01:37:10,400 ♪ Burning down the house