2 00:00:18,624 --> 00:00:21,842 This has got to be a dream. 3 00:00:27,934 --> 00:00:34,074 Stuff like this just does not happen in my life. 4 00:00:34,075 --> 00:00:37,779 I mean, look at her. 5 00:00:37,780 --> 00:00:39,682 She is beautiful. 6 00:00:39,683 --> 00:00:40,883 Adam! 7 00:00:40,884 --> 00:00:43,269 And she just said my name. 8 00:00:45,689 --> 00:00:48,406 My God, she's like an animal. 9 00:00:55,901 --> 00:00:57,583 That's disgusting. 10 00:00:59,573 --> 00:01:01,205 It's like the fourth time... 11 00:01:01,206 --> 00:01:04,309 that this has happened this month! Lucy, please get off me. 12 00:01:04,310 --> 00:01:08,715 Oh, come here you dirty whore. 13 00:01:08,716 --> 00:01:11,484 Adam, get out of bed, lazy man! 14 00:01:11,485 --> 00:01:13,587 Will you just tell her I can't come down... 15 00:01:13,588 --> 00:01:15,055 I'm sick. I don't feel well. 16 00:01:15,056 --> 00:01:16,357 You don't look sick. 17 00:01:16,358 --> 00:01:20,228 My hands are all cold and clammy. 18 00:01:20,229 --> 00:01:24,800 You totally stole that trick from Ferris Bueller's Day Off. 19 00:01:24,801 --> 00:01:26,312 Busted. 20 00:01:27,437 --> 00:01:29,573 Come on, Adam, this is your big day. 21 00:01:29,574 --> 00:01:32,042 Senior Skip Day, it's a rite of passage. 22 00:01:32,043 --> 00:01:34,444 It's like the best thing about being a senior! 23 00:01:34,445 --> 00:01:35,546 Where are they having it? 24 00:01:35,547 --> 00:01:37,080 Huh, I don't know. 25 00:01:37,081 --> 00:01:39,384 You could have the Skip Day party here, 26 00:01:39,385 --> 00:01:41,184 just like your sister did. 27 00:01:41,185 --> 00:01:43,621 Mom, I've apologized about that party a million times. 28 00:01:43,622 --> 00:01:46,526 I still can't figure out how my bed ended up in the pool. 29 00:01:46,527 --> 00:01:49,262 Lucky for you, Adam doesn't even want to go. 30 00:01:49,263 --> 00:01:51,932 Honey, why don't you want to go? 31 00:01:51,933 --> 00:01:53,366 'Cause I'll be miserable. 32 00:01:53,367 --> 00:01:56,270 You have party in your genes. 33 00:01:56,271 --> 00:01:58,673 Back in my day, which was not that long ago, 34 00:01:58,674 --> 00:02:00,142 I never missed a party. 35 00:02:00,143 --> 00:02:02,511 I was known as the disco queen. Uh-huh. 36 00:02:02,512 --> 00:02:04,513 And every guy knew it. 37 00:02:04,514 --> 00:02:07,983 It's not easy when your mom is cooler than you are. 38 00:02:07,984 --> 00:02:09,317 Mm-mm. 39 00:02:09,318 --> 00:02:11,320 You can stop now. 40 00:02:11,321 --> 00:02:13,811 And this reminds me of something. 41 00:02:15,560 --> 00:02:17,695 Holy Lord! 42 00:02:17,696 --> 00:02:20,131 Is this about a girl or something? 43 00:02:20,432 --> 00:02:24,735 Okay. Yes, it is about a girl. And... huh, frankly... 44 00:02:24,736 --> 00:02:26,437 I just don't feel like going to a party... 45 00:02:26,438 --> 00:02:27,974 to watch her make out with her boyfriend. 46 00:02:27,975 --> 00:02:30,109 Honey, that's kind’a gay. 47 00:02:30,110 --> 00:02:32,111 I don't want to talk about it anymore, okay! 48 00:02:32,112 --> 00:02:34,181 On a completely different note, 49 00:02:34,182 --> 00:02:36,850 doesn't this Lamar Washington go to your school? 50 00:02:36,851 --> 00:02:38,318 Yeah, why? 51 00:02:38,319 --> 00:02:41,455 It says that his brother died over the weekend. 52 00:02:41,457 --> 00:02:43,457 Yeah, that kid had cancer. 53 00:02:43,458 --> 00:02:46,261 The paper says that he died in a skydiving accident. 54 00:02:46,262 --> 00:02:47,864 What was he doing skydiving? 55 00:02:47,865 --> 00:02:50,333 It was one of those make a last wish kind of things. 56 00:02:50,334 --> 00:02:52,503 Oh, that's so fucked up! 57 00:02:52,504 --> 00:02:57,441 Yeah. So look, this kid would do anything to be in your shoes. 58 00:02:57,442 --> 00:02:58,908 You have to seize the day. 59 00:02:58,909 --> 00:02:59,910 Okay. 60 00:02:59,911 --> 00:03:02,213 Seize-the-day. 61 00:03:02,214 --> 00:03:04,829 [pop music] 62 00:03:12,826 --> 00:03:15,262 This is my high school. 63 00:03:15,263 --> 00:03:19,834 This fucking place is filled with your standard group of stock characters... 64 00:03:19,835 --> 00:03:22,337 that inhabit every high school in America. 65 00:03:22,338 --> 00:03:25,907 Huh, this right here, this is Scott Taylor. 66 00:03:25,908 --> 00:03:28,276 He's one of those guys that's sort of like... 67 00:03:28,277 --> 00:03:32,580 "Oh, I'm M r. Cool, everybody loves me, I'm so popular"... 68 00:03:32,581 --> 00:03:35,018 but really, he's just a bit of a cock. 69 00:03:35,019 --> 00:03:36,653 Give me a break. For guys like me... 70 00:03:36,654 --> 00:03:38,955 it doesn't get much better than high school. 71 00:03:38,956 --> 00:03:40,424 I mean, look at me, I'm the man. 72 00:03:40,425 --> 00:03:42,560 I'd better enjoy it, because in 10 years... 73 00:03:42,561 --> 00:03:45,765 I'll probably be working at some shitty H R dept. or something. 74 00:03:45,766 --> 00:03:50,803 Actually, I picture you sweating it at a used car dealership. 75 00:03:50,804 --> 00:03:52,438 Maybe Congress. 76 00:03:52,439 --> 00:03:54,841 Oh, this right here, this is Laura. 77 00:03:54,842 --> 00:03:57,035 She's Whippany Park's prom queen. 78 00:03:57,036 --> 00:03:58,143 Fuck off! 79 00:03:58,180 --> 00:03:59,879 Classic man hater. 80 00:03:59,881 --> 00:04:02,550 But only until I find true love... 81 00:04:02,551 --> 00:04:04,985 until then, I kind’a like being a big bitch. 82 00:04:04,986 --> 00:04:06,454 Yeah. Good luck. 83 00:04:06,456 --> 00:04:10,592 Oh, and... huh, this is Denise. She's, huh... she's... 84 00:04:10,593 --> 00:04:13,629 always talking about her boobs. 85 00:04:13,630 --> 00:04:15,498 Does this top make my tits look good? 86 00:04:15,499 --> 00:04:18,236 No, no, that would be your, huh... your tits! 87 00:04:18,237 --> 00:04:19,936 They make your tits look good. 88 00:04:19,937 --> 00:04:21,205 You know Pam Anderson's surgery? 89 00:04:21,206 --> 00:04:23,674 The one she had in '97 with areola adjustment? 90 00:04:23,676 --> 00:04:26,945 I wanna get that one. Then I'll be beautiful, right? 91 00:04:26,946 --> 00:04:29,095 Poor girl. 92 00:04:29,314 --> 00:04:31,150 Adam! You're sensitive. 93 00:04:31,151 --> 00:04:32,853 Hey, and then there's, huh... Isha. 94 00:04:32,854 --> 00:04:34,621 Tell them about the slaughter. 95 00:04:34,622 --> 00:04:37,157 She's hot but she's crazy. 96 00:04:37,158 --> 00:04:38,991 The slaughter in the Middle East? 97 00:04:38,992 --> 00:04:41,026 No! The slaughter of animals! 98 00:04:41,027 --> 00:04:45,433 And for what?! To feed the public's blood thirst for red meat. 99 00:04:45,434 --> 00:04:47,368 Ain't that a leather handbag? 100 00:04:47,369 --> 00:04:49,104 This is designer! 101 00:04:49,105 --> 00:04:52,653 Am I the only senior Whippany Park, with a fucking conscience?! 102 00:04:54,344 --> 00:04:57,746 Oh, and huh... this is... this is Snippy. 103 00:04:57,747 --> 00:05:02,019 He, huh... he smokes way too much pot. 104 00:05:02,020 --> 00:05:06,024 Yeah... surely I do imbibe in copious herbage... 105 00:05:06,025 --> 00:05:10,161 but I don't drink alcohol, I made straight A's... 106 00:05:10,162 --> 00:05:15,781 and I show the utmost respect for ladies. Yeah. 107 00:05:17,570 --> 00:05:19,218 Yeah. 108 00:05:19,873 --> 00:05:24,162 Oh, God. And there's Carla. 109 00:05:34,457 --> 00:05:36,003 [record scratches] 110 00:05:38,928 --> 00:05:42,165 It makes you uncomfortable, doesn't it? 111 00:05:42,166 --> 00:05:44,767 Well, imagine how I feel. 112 00:05:44,768 --> 00:05:48,806 I've been in love with this girl since junior high. 113 00:05:48,807 --> 00:05:52,697 I mean, she's just, she's perfect. 114 00:05:53,479 --> 00:05:55,215 I am not perfect. 115 00:05:55,216 --> 00:05:57,717 If I don't shave my legs every single day, 116 00:05:57,718 --> 00:06:01,971 I start looking like that monkey chick from Planet of the Apes. 117 00:06:02,823 --> 00:06:07,043 She's perfect in every way, shape and form. 118 00:06:09,532 --> 00:06:11,265 - Man, did you hear? - Hear what? 119 00:06:11,266 --> 00:06:14,570 The Skip Day party is supposed to be at the principal's house? 120 00:06:14,571 --> 00:06:17,438 I already know that, that's Ralph, he planned that. He's a genius. 121 00:06:17,439 --> 00:06:18,985 Ralph Lee Ohe-zang! 122 00:06:20,310 --> 00:06:24,963 Party at Dickwalter's, tell everybody. Party at Dickwalter's. 123 00:06:30,855 --> 00:06:33,092 Hey man, party at Dickwalter's. 124 00:06:33,093 --> 00:06:37,162 Party at Dickwalter's? There's a party at Mr. Dickwalter's. 125 00:06:37,163 --> 00:06:38,662 Really? 126 00:06:38,663 --> 00:06:41,066 That's fantastic. A party at Mr. Dickwalter's. 127 00:06:41,067 --> 00:06:43,704 You know what's weird, that I'm Mr. Dickwalter. 128 00:06:43,705 --> 00:06:45,406 So maybe I should be there. 129 00:06:45,407 --> 00:06:46,573 Adam, you did the right thing. 130 00:06:46,574 --> 00:06:48,643 Oh my God. 131 00:06:49,144 --> 00:06:52,780 Hey, Laura hey... 132 00:06:52,781 --> 00:06:58,788 I wanno fuck you so... huh... so, huh... 133 00:06:58,789 --> 00:07:01,457 Oh... oh, hey sweetheart. 134 00:07:01,458 --> 00:07:02,969 Hey! 135 00:07:04,194 --> 00:07:07,398 Hi! Are you ready to get the hell out of here? 136 00:07:07,400 --> 00:07:09,266 Know what I'm picturing right now? 137 00:07:09,267 --> 00:07:10,434 I think I can probably guess. 138 00:07:10,435 --> 00:07:12,070 You and me on Dickwalter's bed. 139 00:07:12,071 --> 00:07:13,672 - Really. - Oh... 140 00:07:13,673 --> 00:07:17,510 Mr. Dickwalter. Oh my God, these sheets are so soft. 141 00:07:17,511 --> 00:07:18,944 - Scott. - Oh... 142 00:07:18,945 --> 00:07:21,246 Oh, yeah, this blanket, it is so smooth and huh... 143 00:07:21,247 --> 00:07:23,817 Maybe you should just bang Dickwalter. 144 00:07:23,818 --> 00:07:27,154 Girl! It reminded me of my wedding night. 145 00:07:27,155 --> 00:07:29,791 I felt like a virgin all over again. 146 00:07:29,792 --> 00:07:32,328 Yes you did. You thought you could... 147 00:07:32,329 --> 00:07:34,096 mess with me, didn't you? [gong] 148 00:07:34,097 --> 00:07:37,167 You won't believe what these kids had planned for my house, Minn. 149 00:07:37,168 --> 00:07:39,601 And I never laid a hand on him, it's not my style. 150 00:07:39,602 --> 00:07:41,436 By the way, is that new? It's very flattering. 151 00:07:41,437 --> 00:07:45,274 Oh, you like... I told you he was gonna like my new shirt. 152 00:07:45,275 --> 00:07:49,145 Settle down, people. Settle down. 153 00:07:49,146 --> 00:07:52,184 I know it's all part of Skip Day tradition. 154 00:07:52,185 --> 00:07:55,653 You sign in, then you skip out, a little "fuck you" to the system... 155 00:07:55,654 --> 00:07:58,689 nothing wrong with that, that's what makes America great. 156 00:07:58,690 --> 00:08:00,391 However, for the next 45 minutes... 157 00:08:00,392 --> 00:08:01,961 Um, are you okay? 158 00:08:01,962 --> 00:08:03,363 you belong to Mr. Rigetti. 159 00:08:03,365 --> 00:08:04,799 Sure. 160 00:08:04,800 --> 00:08:09,518 Snippy I Would you care to take attendance for the class today. 161 00:08:11,606 --> 00:08:14,675 Huh... 162 00:08:14,676 --> 00:08:16,277 we're all here, dude. 163 00:08:16,278 --> 00:08:21,202 Snippy, that's the last time I slip you any of my chronic, huh? 164 00:08:21,852 --> 00:08:23,520 Don't touch me! 165 00:08:23,521 --> 00:08:25,621 Rigetti's been clean and sober for 14 years. 166 00:08:25,622 --> 00:08:30,192 I have a special Senior Skip Day announcement. 167 00:08:30,193 --> 00:08:33,652 I'm here with Ralph Lee Oheng. Ralph... 168 00:08:35,032 --> 00:08:37,282 Tell them what you told me. 169 00:08:39,505 --> 00:08:41,256 Hold on. 170 00:08:42,342 --> 00:08:44,797 Speak, Ralph. 171 00:08:50,450 --> 00:08:52,153 One second. 172 00:08:52,154 --> 00:08:56,339 Speak you son-of-a-bitch, or I'll crack your head like a melon. 173 00:08:56,374 --> 00:08:58,226 [Speaking Korean] 174 00:08:58,326 --> 00:09:02,063 Whoa, whoa, whoa. I took you too far back. Speak English. 175 00:09:02,064 --> 00:09:04,599 Look, I'm sorry, alright. I'm sorry. Blame me. 176 00:09:04,600 --> 00:09:06,702 I did it, I planned the whole thing. 177 00:09:06,703 --> 00:09:08,004 - It's your fault right? - It's my fault... 178 00:09:08,006 --> 00:09:09,272 I planned the Skip Day. 179 00:09:09,273 --> 00:09:10,507 You sorry for what you did? 180 00:09:10,508 --> 00:09:12,143 Yeah, I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. 181 00:09:12,144 --> 00:09:14,313 Okay, okay. 182 00:09:14,314 --> 00:09:17,748 Alright... You did good. 183 00:09:17,749 --> 00:09:21,453 Well, looks like Ralph has peed in his pants. 184 00:09:21,454 --> 00:09:25,124 Don't worry, I'm not mad at you. By the way... 185 00:09:25,125 --> 00:09:28,527 I just spoke to the admissions department at Harvard University... 186 00:09:28,528 --> 00:09:30,897 where Mr. Cheng planned to attend in the fall. 187 00:09:30,898 --> 00:09:32,666 He will not be going now. 188 00:09:32,667 --> 00:09:35,435 How many of the rest of you would like to join him... 189 00:09:35,436 --> 00:09:38,339 in the minimum wage club? For instance. 190 00:09:38,340 --> 00:09:42,077 Peter O' Leary, still interested in going to Michigan State? 191 00:09:42,078 --> 00:09:45,348 Gary Glenn, I suppose you're still interested in Cal Arts? 192 00:09:45,349 --> 00:09:50,254 Timmy Cisineros, Apex Tech? What the hell is Apex Tech? 193 00:09:50,255 --> 00:09:52,989 What's with his choise? 194 00:09:52,990 --> 00:09:56,727 I n addition, there's something very important here I want you to know. 195 00:09:56,728 --> 00:09:59,829 I would not have been privy to any of this information... 196 00:09:59,830 --> 00:10:02,434 without the aid of a very special student. 197 00:10:02,435 --> 00:10:06,205 Someone I respect a lot. So as you're going through your day, 198 00:10:06,206 --> 00:10:09,875 hitting the books, I want you to think to yourselves, 199 00:10:09,876 --> 00:10:13,732 "Maybe I should be a little more like Adam Harris". 200 00:10:13,733 --> 00:10:15,732 Wough... 201 00:10:20,356 --> 00:10:22,324 I don't fucking believe you, Harris. 202 00:10:22,325 --> 00:10:23,827 Oh, bro! 203 00:10:23,828 --> 00:10:25,727 Alright Scott, knock it off. 204 00:10:25,728 --> 00:10:27,663 No, Mr. Rigetti, this is fucking bullshit. 205 00:10:27,664 --> 00:10:30,391 That Adam Harris here had to ruin our Skip Day. No 206 00:10:30,392 --> 00:10:31,534 Relax, dude, sit down. 207 00:10:31,535 --> 00:10:32,669 Alright, take it easy. 208 00:10:32,670 --> 00:10:35,504 - Yeah, that's enough! - Okay people... 209 00:10:35,505 --> 00:10:40,611 It happened, alright? it sucks. You think Rigetti doesn't know life sucks. 210 00:10:40,612 --> 00:10:44,182 I wanna die right now. I wanna die. 211 00:10:44,183 --> 00:10:47,885 I wanna curl up into a little ball... 212 00:10:47,887 --> 00:10:49,466 and I wanna die. 213 00:10:53,527 --> 00:10:54,828 How's it going? 214 00:10:54,829 --> 00:10:57,229 I'm... I'm alright, how are you doing? 215 00:10:57,230 --> 00:10:58,666 - Shitty. - Yeah... 216 00:10:58,667 --> 00:11:01,136 I heard about your brother, I'm so sorry about that. 217 00:11:01,137 --> 00:11:02,370 Yeah, shit sucks. 218 00:11:02,371 --> 00:11:03,838 What's that? 219 00:11:03,839 --> 00:11:06,207 Oh this? This fucking eulogy. 220 00:11:06,208 --> 00:11:09,378 I didn't expect him to die so quick, I was still working on it. 221 00:11:09,379 --> 00:11:11,082 Jesus, that's rough. 222 00:11:11,083 --> 00:11:12,583 Shit, who're you telling? 223 00:11:12,584 --> 00:11:14,283 Now I gotta change all this cancer crap... 224 00:11:14,284 --> 00:11:16,886 into this parachute malfunction for the funeral today. 225 00:11:16,887 --> 00:11:21,726 Funeral? Wait, wait, where's the funeral service? 226 00:11:21,727 --> 00:11:24,922 At my Auntie's house where we had that bitchin' party last fall. 227 00:11:24,923 --> 00:11:26,549 You hang in there. 228 00:11:26,550 --> 00:11:28,587 - Thanks, man. - Yeah. 229 00:11:31,838 --> 00:11:34,021 Funeral, huh? 230 00:11:36,543 --> 00:11:42,484 Okay, alright look. I know this is bad, okay? But look at me. 231 00:11:42,485 --> 00:11:46,388 I mean, I'm desperate here, okay? My entire class hates me. 232 00:11:46,389 --> 00:11:52,543 I'm backed up against a wall, alright? So don't judge me. 233 00:11:53,764 --> 00:11:55,198 A skydiving accident? 234 00:11:55,199 --> 00:11:56,399 Yes, sir. 235 00:11:56,400 --> 00:11:57,934 You said he had cancer. 236 00:11:57,935 --> 00:12:00,324 Oh, he did sir. 237 00:12:11,451 --> 00:12:15,154 So, if a kid has cancer, what's he doing jumping out of an airplane? 238 00:12:15,155 --> 00:12:17,857 Well, he was living life to the fullest, sir. 239 00:12:17,858 --> 00:12:22,697 And, and I think it's only fitting, that we take a page... 240 00:12:22,698 --> 00:12:28,101 from little Jamal Washington's short yet fearless life... 241 00:12:28,102 --> 00:12:31,373 and that we set aside whatever excellent curriculum... 242 00:12:31,374 --> 00:12:34,744 our teachers may have prepared for us this afternoon... 243 00:12:34,745 --> 00:12:38,046 and instead, suffer through a much crueler but ultimately... 244 00:12:38,047 --> 00:12:40,918 far more powerful lesson. 245 00:12:40,919 --> 00:12:45,022 That is, the frailty of human life. 246 00:12:45,023 --> 00:12:48,693 I don't know, Adam, sounds a little far fetched to me. 247 00:12:48,694 --> 00:12:52,165 Mr. Dickwalter, if I may, you need to ask yourself... 248 00:12:52,166 --> 00:12:56,268 why would I tip you off to the location of the Skip Day party... 249 00:12:56,269 --> 00:12:59,005 saving your house and your personal belongings... 250 00:12:59,006 --> 00:13:01,675 from a vicious thrashing, I might add... 251 00:13:01,676 --> 00:13:07,295 only to create some fantastic mirage? 252 00:13:08,383 --> 00:13:11,119 You know, if this was from any other student but you... 253 00:13:11,120 --> 00:13:15,290 I'd be a little suspicious, but considering it's you Adam, you're different. 254 00:13:15,291 --> 00:13:16,625 Yes, sir. 255 00:13:16,626 --> 00:13:18,294 You spend your time studying and debating. 256 00:13:18,295 --> 00:13:20,497 They spend all their time drinking and having sex. 257 00:13:20,498 --> 00:13:22,567 Yeah. 258 00:13:22,568 --> 00:13:25,202 We're not so different, you and I. 259 00:13:25,203 --> 00:13:27,704 Oh! 260 00:13:27,705 --> 00:13:30,074 You remind me of me when I was your age. 261 00:13:30,075 --> 00:13:32,511 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 262 00:13:32,512 --> 00:13:35,882 Out from the same cloth, as they say. Huh? Huh? 263 00:13:35,883 --> 00:13:38,065 Huh, yeah. Yeah. 264 00:13:39,419 --> 00:13:42,255 Oh, huh, yeah! 265 00:13:42,256 --> 00:13:45,405 That'a boy! Don't be afraid of it, son. 266 00:13:47,261 --> 00:13:50,411 I think I'm gonna puke. 267 00:13:50,967 --> 00:13:54,926 A school lies in mourning. 268 00:13:55,036 --> 00:13:57,507 A little boy has died. 269 00:13:57,508 --> 00:14:03,246 So, I declare this day Jamal Washington Day. 270 00:14:03,247 --> 00:14:06,517 I am actually impressed with you man. 271 00:14:06,518 --> 00:14:10,523 Yeah, way to save your ass from getting dry docked by the entire senior class. 272 00:14:10,524 --> 00:14:12,123 So what now? 273 00:14:12,124 --> 00:14:16,294 Wait, wait, wait, everybody, um, just... huh, hang on one second. 274 00:14:16,295 --> 00:14:21,133 Please, um. Look, I know... I know I really messed things up today... 275 00:14:21,134 --> 00:14:23,335 huh... with my... with my big mouth. 276 00:14:23,336 --> 00:14:25,138 - You suck. - Uh-huh... 277 00:14:25,139 --> 00:14:30,946 but, see the thing is, we could still turn this into the best Skip Day ever. 278 00:14:30,947 --> 00:14:33,814 We'll have the party at my house. 279 00:14:33,815 --> 00:14:37,484 Harris, that is so nice of you. 280 00:14:37,485 --> 00:14:40,485 And I bet you have a whole basement full of alcohol for us to drink? 281 00:14:40,486 --> 00:14:41,991 Do ya? No?! 282 00:14:42,492 --> 00:14:45,029 Look buddy, you're in over your head here. 283 00:14:45,030 --> 00:14:48,782 A party at your house is gonna be lame. Come on, let's go. 284 00:14:56,275 --> 00:14:59,823 I can get you booze. 285 00:15:10,325 --> 00:15:12,359 How do you know this guy? 286 00:15:12,360 --> 00:15:14,229 I don't know this guy. 287 00:15:14,230 --> 00:15:15,597 Well, how do you know him? 288 00:15:15,598 --> 00:15:17,985 I don't. I thought he was your friend. 289 00:15:20,338 --> 00:15:23,828 Holy shit, that's a lot of booze for 40 dollars. 290 00:15:31,048 --> 00:15:32,817 We can go now. 291 00:15:32,819 --> 00:15:36,688 That guy's got a gun. That guy's got a gun. Start the car, Sicki! 292 00:15:36,689 --> 00:15:38,189 - Fuck, fuck, fuck. - Roll up the window! 293 00:15:38,190 --> 00:15:41,807 Drive the car! Drive the car! 294 00:15:42,429 --> 00:15:44,679 Drive! Drive! 295 00:15:46,300 --> 00:15:49,103 - Oh, fuck! Jesus. - My fucking window! 296 00:15:49,104 --> 00:15:51,385 - What the fuck. - Jesus! 297 00:15:52,140 --> 00:15:54,095 That was awesome. 298 00:15:55,678 --> 00:15:59,614 Tough break, cancer boy dying in a freak skydiving accident. 299 00:15:59,615 --> 00:16:02,953 Yeah, I did a little parachute work myself. 300 00:16:02,954 --> 00:16:07,023 I was a paratrooper in the Gulf War, the first one. The big one. 301 00:16:07,024 --> 00:16:08,892 - Did you? - Yep. 302 00:16:08,893 --> 00:16:13,063 My instructor told me that 1 in 17, 000 jumps go bad, and only.. 303 00:16:13,064 --> 00:16:15,400 a quarter of those are fatal. 304 00:16:15,401 --> 00:16:17,869 Would it surprise you, Dickwalter, if I told you... 305 00:16:17,870 --> 00:16:20,874 that only 1 in 3.8 million kids have cancer? 306 00:16:20,875 --> 00:16:22,441 Okay. 307 00:16:22,442 --> 00:16:24,711 And his funeral lands on Skip Day, I mean... 308 00:16:24,712 --> 00:16:29,193 what are the odds? It's gotta be astronomical, like getting the lottery. 309 00:16:30,886 --> 00:16:33,721 Maybe that's what I'll do right now, Mr. Dickwalter. 310 00:16:33,722 --> 00:16:36,006 Maybe I'll go buy a lottery ticket. 311 00:16:37,293 --> 00:16:39,728 Hey, I can't carry the speakers by myself. 312 00:16:39,729 --> 00:16:41,630 What'd you say? Can't carry the speakers by yourself? 313 00:16:41,631 --> 00:16:43,781 That's 'cause you're a pussy. 314 00:16:45,403 --> 00:16:47,002 What's your deal, man? 315 00:16:47,003 --> 00:16:49,371 I love high school. 316 00:16:49,372 --> 00:16:51,641 You do? You fuckin' nuts? 317 00:16:51,642 --> 00:16:54,913 Shit no, this is the best time of your life. 318 00:16:54,914 --> 00:16:56,847 Really? 319 00:16:56,848 --> 00:17:02,087 You build your future on the foundation that's poured during high school. 320 00:17:02,088 --> 00:17:05,324 Don't squander it, son. 321 00:17:05,325 --> 00:17:07,693 Hello, ma'am. 322 00:17:07,694 --> 00:17:09,028 Hello. 323 00:17:09,029 --> 00:17:10,130 Oh no. 324 00:17:10,131 --> 00:17:12,133 - Oh Blanche. - What's she doing here? 325 00:17:12,134 --> 00:17:14,170 She must have escaped from the home again. 326 00:17:14,171 --> 00:17:15,670 Well, that can't be over here long. 327 00:17:15,671 --> 00:17:19,039 Say, Minn, what do you know about this Washington kid's funeral? 328 00:17:19,040 --> 00:17:20,441 So, what you trying to say? 329 00:17:20,442 --> 00:17:23,213 That because I'm black, I gotta know where... 330 00:17:23,214 --> 00:17:25,480 every other black person's funeral is at? 331 00:17:25,482 --> 00:17:26,582 Oh, Jesus. 332 00:17:26,583 --> 00:17:28,483 - That we all know one another? - Here we go. 333 00:17:28,485 --> 00:17:31,154 Every black person is a fucking cousin. 334 00:17:31,155 --> 00:17:33,124 Frankly, yes. 335 00:17:33,125 --> 00:17:39,764 Well, I'll have you know that I'm married to a white man. 336 00:17:40,065 --> 00:17:41,333 Fantastic. 337 00:17:41,334 --> 00:17:46,038 Very touching words, Auntie Sue. Thank you very much. 338 00:17:46,039 --> 00:17:53,363 And now, Jamal's Uncle Sheik would like to sing a song in loving memory. 339 00:17:55,750 --> 00:18:00,368 This goes out to Jamal, yeah. 340 00:18:53,618 --> 00:18:58,790 Wasserman, Weston. Washington. 341 00:18:58,791 --> 00:19:00,539 Alright. 342 00:19:22,383 --> 00:19:23,963 Hello, who this? 343 00:19:26,421 --> 00:19:28,524 Lamar, is that you? 344 00:19:28,525 --> 00:19:31,427 Huh, yeah. Who this? 345 00:19:31,428 --> 00:19:34,430 "Who this?" It's Mr. Dickwalter. 346 00:19:34,431 --> 00:19:37,032 Okay, Mr. Dickwalter. What do you want? 347 00:19:37,033 --> 00:19:39,769 What's going on over there, Lamar? 348 00:19:39,770 --> 00:19:41,772 What'd you think? I'm at my brother's funeral! 349 00:19:41,773 --> 00:19:44,775 Doesn't sound like any funeral I've ever been to. 350 00:19:44,776 --> 00:19:47,112 It sounds more like a party to me. 351 00:19:47,113 --> 00:19:48,947 Who're you talking to? 352 00:19:48,948 --> 00:19:51,117 It's my principal, Mr. Dickwalter. 353 00:19:51,118 --> 00:19:53,219 Give me that. 354 00:19:53,220 --> 00:19:57,189 Tell me what's really going on over there, you little shit. 355 00:19:57,190 --> 00:20:00,581 How 'bout you go fuck yourself! 356 00:20:02,030 --> 00:20:04,731 How 'bout-hello? How 'bout I go fuck myself? 357 00:20:04,732 --> 00:20:10,338 I don't fuck myself, my friend. I don't fuck myself ever. 358 00:20:10,339 --> 00:20:15,544 You fuck yourself. People fuck themselves. Not me! 359 00:20:15,545 --> 00:20:17,179 [cell phone rings] 360 00:20:17,180 --> 00:20:20,052 Motherfucker! 361 00:20:20,053 --> 00:20:23,887 Listen to me. You call this fucking number one more goddamn time... 362 00:20:23,888 --> 00:20:27,504 and I'm gonna back my brand new Escalade over your motherfucking skull! 363 00:20:30,965 --> 00:20:32,748 I don't... 364 00:20:34,702 --> 00:20:38,905 Hm-mm, where you going? To do some more generalizing about black folks? 365 00:20:38,906 --> 00:20:41,740 Number one, yes. Number two, shut up! Number three, 366 00:20:41,741 --> 00:20:43,877 I think that Adam Harris was duped... 367 00:20:43,878 --> 00:20:47,014 and there really is a Senior Skip Day party going on. 368 00:20:47,015 --> 00:20:49,528 And I'm just the guy to bust it. 369 00:20:52,688 --> 00:20:57,259 Hey, Snippy, we should have the party right here. 370 00:20:57,260 --> 00:20:59,095 I appreciate the thought... 371 00:20:59,096 --> 00:21:03,667 but'd you really think my house is appropriately situated... 372 00:21:03,668 --> 00:21:06,036 for such a festive gathering? 373 00:21:06,037 --> 00:21:08,585 Let me check. 374 00:21:14,213 --> 00:21:16,527 Jes... Dude! 375 00:21:18,253 --> 00:21:21,322 Your house has wheels! 376 00:21:21,922 --> 00:21:23,422 Come on... 377 00:21:23,823 --> 00:21:26,660 Should have held onto that kid when I had him. 378 00:21:26,661 --> 00:21:32,734 [blaring rap music] 379 00:21:32,735 --> 00:21:36,487 Turn that crap down! 380 00:21:41,346 --> 00:21:43,198 Yeah, you better leave! 381 00:22:20,858 --> 00:22:23,393 So, what're you thinking? 382 00:22:23,394 --> 00:22:25,329 I'm thinking... I'm thinking... 383 00:22:25,330 --> 00:22:29,200 that we're gonna make the biggest gravity bong... 384 00:22:29,201 --> 00:22:31,236 that this world has ever seen. 385 00:22:31,237 --> 00:22:32,771 With all this shit? 386 00:22:32,772 --> 00:22:34,316 Oh yeah. 387 00:22:59,869 --> 00:23:02,037 That'll get you high. 388 00:23:02,038 --> 00:23:05,609 Okay, fellas, alright, we got alcohol, we got music... 389 00:23:05,610 --> 00:23:08,111 we got the world's biggest gravity fucking bong... 390 00:23:08,112 --> 00:23:09,980 that I've ever seen, or I wanna see, to tell you the truth. 391 00:23:09,981 --> 00:23:12,115 But listen, there's just one more thing missing here. 392 00:23:12,116 --> 00:23:13,471 You see what I mean? 393 00:23:13,472 --> 00:23:15,453 I know, oh yeah... yeah. 394 00:23:15,454 --> 00:23:18,001 Bang them out. 395 00:23:19,161 --> 00:23:22,962 A little pick 'em and stick'em. You know what I mean now? 396 00:23:22,963 --> 00:23:24,729 Yes, I do. 397 00:23:24,730 --> 00:23:28,234 Hi, huh, is this the Bornstein Modeling Agency? 398 00:23:28,235 --> 00:23:32,706 Yeah... hi, I was wondering if you had any girls available for a party this afternoon. 399 00:23:32,707 --> 00:23:34,642 No. Okay. 400 00:23:34,643 --> 00:23:36,945 Well, that makes perfect sense. 401 00:23:36,946 --> 00:23:39,197 Yes, thank you. Okay, bye. 402 00:23:40,149 --> 00:23:41,217 So? 403 00:23:41,218 --> 00:23:43,585 They do not do parties. 404 00:23:43,586 --> 00:23:45,922 They told you to fuck off, didn't they? 405 00:23:45,923 --> 00:23:47,502 Yes, they did... they did. 406 00:23:52,630 --> 00:23:54,431 Hey Bornstein? 407 00:23:54,432 --> 00:23:56,235 Where the fuck are my models? 408 00:23:56,236 --> 00:23:59,037 Oh, the ones I called about over a month ago. 409 00:23:59,038 --> 00:24:01,906 For the fucking lingerie shoot. 410 00:24:01,907 --> 00:24:06,246 Look, I'm paying for a crew to sit here and do nothing. 411 00:24:06,247 --> 00:24:08,148 They better be here in 30 minutes... 412 00:24:08,149 --> 00:24:10,151 or it'll be your arse! 413 00:24:10,152 --> 00:24:13,334 Yeah. 10 Forrest Lane, Fucko! 414 00:24:15,456 --> 00:24:20,075 Gentlemen, I'm gonna go beat off before they get here. 415 00:24:22,130 --> 00:24:24,233 Oh my God, I'm so sorry we're late. 416 00:24:24,234 --> 00:24:27,089 Sorry, we had a hard time finding your street. 417 00:24:30,207 --> 00:24:31,508 We're so ready to go. 418 00:24:31,509 --> 00:24:32,809 So, where do you want us? 419 00:24:32,810 --> 00:24:35,812 H hideous. Absolutely hideous. 420 00:24:35,813 --> 00:24:39,184 Oh what, did we make a little pit stop at the Krispy Kreme on the way? 421 00:24:39,185 --> 00:24:40,253 Oww. 422 00:24:40,254 --> 00:24:43,471 Silence! Let's do this! 423 00:24:51,832 --> 00:24:53,867 Yes, beautiful. 424 00:24:53,868 --> 00:24:58,273 Yes, yes, do that. Now, give me a little giggle. 425 00:24:58,274 --> 00:25:01,043 Just a little, yes, good, good. That is sexy. 426 00:25:01,045 --> 00:25:03,845 Okay, pop it up, pop it up. 427 00:25:03,846 --> 00:25:05,954 Beautiful. That's it. 428 00:25:36,805 --> 00:25:38,397 What is it? 429 00:25:38,398 --> 00:25:41,577 Hold Bessy. 430 00:25:44,695 --> 00:25:47,164 Hey, Adam's party's up and running. 431 00:25:47,165 --> 00:25:48,298 Really? 432 00:25:48,299 --> 00:25:49,533 Look. 433 00:25:49,534 --> 00:25:51,667 Douche bag pulled it off. 434 00:25:51,668 --> 00:25:52,802 Well, let's go. 435 00:25:52,803 --> 00:25:55,237 No. No, it's gonna suck balls. 436 00:25:55,238 --> 00:25:59,176 Scott, I am not gonna spend Skip Day in bed with you... 437 00:25:59,177 --> 00:26:01,746 while the rest of our class is partying over at Adam's house. 438 00:26:01,747 --> 00:26:03,882 What's wrong with being in bed with me? 439 00:26:03,883 --> 00:26:06,418 - Can you please stop being so pushy? - Pushy? 440 00:26:06,419 --> 00:26:10,456 I just really wanna do this, I think we're ready. 441 00:26:10,457 --> 00:26:15,595 Yeah, I know, me too. But, let's do it over at the party, like we said. 442 00:26:15,596 --> 00:26:19,434 Oh. Party. Fuck. 443 00:26:19,435 --> 00:26:23,672 Smoke, smoke, smoke your boat. 444 00:26:23,673 --> 00:26:27,675 Smoke it down the stream. 445 00:26:27,676 --> 00:26:31,615 Smoke it, smoke it, smoke some more, 446 00:26:31,616 --> 00:26:34,365 Smokey, smokey. 447 00:26:37,589 --> 00:26:39,407 Oh, I'm so excited! 448 00:26:40,993 --> 00:26:43,495 Oh, a cutie just showed up. 449 00:26:43,496 --> 00:26:46,499 That's no cutie, that's my sister. 450 00:26:46,500 --> 00:26:48,400 - Why would your sister care? - Trust me... 451 00:26:48,401 --> 00:26:51,470 there's some bad family history with Skip Day parties. 452 00:26:51,471 --> 00:26:53,939 Look, we need to hide, everybody needs to hide,.. 453 00:26:53,940 --> 00:26:58,763 we need to get rid of the alcohol, and you need to get rid of Blanche. 454 00:27:03,152 --> 00:27:05,085 Looks like she might like a cocktail. 455 00:27:05,086 --> 00:27:06,589 I don't know why we're doing this. 456 00:27:06,590 --> 00:27:08,223 She'd like a few. 457 00:27:08,225 --> 00:27:12,996 Um, I would say probably somewhere around, like, $650, 000. 458 00:27:12,997 --> 00:27:14,564 Oh shit, I forgot my keys. 459 00:27:14,565 --> 00:27:17,167 There is no fashion shoot, okay? 460 00:27:17,168 --> 00:27:19,135 He is not a photographer. 461 00:27:19,136 --> 00:27:21,806 And I'm sure one of you must have figured out by now, 462 00:27:21,807 --> 00:27:25,076 he's not French, this mustache is fake. 463 00:27:25,077 --> 00:27:27,141 Let's save this, save this. 464 00:27:27,142 --> 00:27:28,219 Yeah. 465 00:27:28,220 --> 00:27:29,581 Yeah, I like that. 466 00:27:29,582 --> 00:27:31,683 Look, we're holding my Skip Day party here. 467 00:27:31,684 --> 00:27:34,087 And, the only way we could get people to come 468 00:27:34,088 --> 00:27:36,874 is if we had pictures of really hot girls. 469 00:27:37,992 --> 00:27:41,296 Dude, that sounds so gay when you put it like that. 470 00:27:41,297 --> 00:27:43,130 And now your sister's coming here... 471 00:27:43,131 --> 00:27:44,998 and you want us to hide in the closet. 472 00:27:44,999 --> 00:27:48,514 Yeah... that's pretty much it, yep. 473 00:27:49,304 --> 00:27:51,507 Wow, that's so cute. 474 00:27:51,508 --> 00:27:54,210 I know. I never even had a Skip Day party. 475 00:27:54,211 --> 00:27:56,446 True, mine did get busted. 476 00:27:56,447 --> 00:27:58,458 Can we stay here for yours? 477 00:28:01,954 --> 00:28:05,137 Get in the closet. Get in, get in, get in, get in. 478 00:28:07,126 --> 00:28:11,030 You gotta get her outta here fast, people gonna start to come any minute. 479 00:28:11,031 --> 00:28:13,364 Listen to me, you're a guest in my house, okay? 480 00:28:13,365 --> 00:28:15,516 You do what I say, stay in the closet! 481 00:28:17,639 --> 00:28:19,073 Alright, I can do that. 482 00:28:19,074 --> 00:28:20,140 - Hey. - Hey. 483 00:28:20,141 --> 00:28:22,676 - What're you doing home? - What're you doing home? 484 00:28:22,677 --> 00:28:24,443 - Mom needs to get her For Sale signs. - Oh, yeah... 485 00:28:24,444 --> 00:28:25,980 - Well, I'm skipping school. - Cool... 486 00:28:25,981 --> 00:28:28,884 Isn't there supposed to be a big party today? 487 00:28:28,885 --> 00:28:30,120 - Yes there is. - You gonna go? 488 00:28:30,121 --> 00:28:32,055 - I'll be there. - Yeah, bullshit. 489 00:28:32,056 --> 00:28:33,356 Where you going? 490 00:28:33,357 --> 00:28:36,261 - To get the For Sale signs, from the closet. - They're not there. 491 00:28:36,462 --> 00:28:39,462 - Where are they? - This is fucking awesome. 492 00:28:39,463 --> 00:28:41,298 OK, well, I moved them this morning. 493 00:28:41,299 --> 00:28:43,000 Okay, where'd you put them? 494 00:28:43,001 --> 00:28:45,803 - Upstairs in the guest room. - You did? 495 00:28:45,804 --> 00:28:47,859 - Yes I did? - Why? 496 00:28:48,841 --> 00:28:50,796 'Cause I felt like it. 497 00:28:58,118 --> 00:29:00,720 Get out, everyone get out, get out, get out. 498 00:29:00,721 --> 00:29:03,641 Give me those signs, alright? Give'm to me. 499 00:29:04,142 --> 00:29:06,741 Alright, wait here. 500 00:29:07,696 --> 00:29:08,763 Yeah. 501 00:29:08,764 --> 00:29:11,167 - Fuck off! - Dude, Dude... need to smoke. 502 00:29:11,168 --> 00:29:16,272 My sister is upstairs right now. Alright, alright, come on. Go! 503 00:29:16,273 --> 00:29:19,989 - Adam, there's no signs up here. - Shhh... 504 00:29:20,945 --> 00:29:24,026 Ouh, ouh, ouh, ouh, ouh... 505 00:29:26,486 --> 00:29:27,985 - Adam! - What? 506 00:29:27,986 --> 00:29:30,387 There's an old lady in the guest room. 507 00:29:30,388 --> 00:29:31,967 She's my friend. 508 00:29:32,624 --> 00:29:33,724 Who's in the closet? 509 00:29:33,725 --> 00:29:34,726 What? 510 00:29:34,727 --> 00:29:36,628 - Who's in the closet? - No one's in the closet. 511 00:29:36,629 --> 00:29:38,966 - There's no one in the closet? - There's no one in the closet. 512 00:29:38,967 --> 00:29:40,384 - That's right. - Really? 513 00:29:40,385 --> 00:29:41,854 Ahhh... 514 00:29:44,873 --> 00:29:46,340 What's going on? 515 00:29:46,341 --> 00:29:49,009 I'm kind'a... I'm throwing the Skip Day party at our house. 516 00:29:49,010 --> 00:29:51,312 - What? - Look, I know, I know it looks bad... 517 00:29:51,313 --> 00:29:54,181 and I know how you and Mom hate Skip Day parties and all that, but... 518 00:29:54,182 --> 00:29:56,484 I screwed up, and I didn't have a choice and... 519 00:29:56,486 --> 00:29:58,056 I know it's stupid and it's irresponsible and everything... 520 00:29:58,057 --> 00:30:00,126 - Shhh... - And your right... 521 00:30:00,127 --> 00:30:04,426 Look at me, I am so proud of you. 522 00:30:04,428 --> 00:30:07,098 I mean, you're keeping up the family tradition. 523 00:30:07,099 --> 00:30:10,368 - I knew you had that fucking gene in you. - Really? 524 00:30:10,369 --> 00:30:12,070 - Yeah. - Thank you, that's nice of you 525 00:30:12,071 --> 00:30:14,104 - Fuck, I wish I could stay. - Oh... 526 00:30:14,106 --> 00:30:17,511 - Better not do anything I wouldn't do. - I won't do anything you wouldn't do. 527 00:30:17,512 --> 00:30:20,280 - Maybe you'll get lucky. - Yeah... 528 00:30:20,281 --> 00:30:23,696 - Bye, baby. - Bye. 529 00:30:25,989 --> 00:30:27,288 Hey... 530 00:30:27,289 --> 00:30:28,689 What'd you want? 531 00:30:28,690 --> 00:30:30,791 What'd you think I want? 532 00:30:30,792 --> 00:30:32,826 Adam, is it weird that... 533 00:30:32,827 --> 00:30:34,296 there's a motor home across the street? 534 00:30:34,297 --> 00:30:36,264 That's my house, yo. 535 00:30:36,265 --> 00:30:38,014 Yeah, he lives there. 536 00:30:39,037 --> 00:30:42,239 - Okay. - Congratulations. 537 00:30:43,240 --> 00:30:45,909 - What? - You're growing some balls. 538 00:30:45,910 --> 00:30:47,478 That's pretty witty of you, you wanna go do the bong? 539 00:30:47,479 --> 00:30:48,989 Yes. 540 00:31:11,238 --> 00:31:12,920 Party! 541 00:32:25,259 --> 00:32:28,463 Can you believe this? There's actually a party in my house, right now. 542 00:32:28,464 --> 00:32:31,781 Yeah, but nobody's dancing. 543 00:32:33,668 --> 00:32:37,172 Well, it'll take just one person to start it off. 544 00:32:37,173 --> 00:32:39,287 Who? 545 00:33:36,108 --> 00:33:38,288 Dance party! 546 00:33:50,457 --> 00:33:51,892 Yeah. 547 00:33:51,893 --> 00:33:53,973 Oh my God. 548 00:33:59,967 --> 00:34:05,054 It's a Carla sandwich with a side of Scotty. Scotty. 549 00:34:33,005 --> 00:34:35,341 Dog trainer. [sobs] 550 00:34:35,342 --> 00:34:39,313 Hey, hey, why the long face? 551 00:34:39,314 --> 00:34:42,151 Mr. Dickwalter, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Please. 552 00:34:42,152 --> 00:34:45,753 Pull yourself together. There may still be a way out of this for you. 553 00:34:45,754 --> 00:34:49,057 Hey Ralph, where's the party? 554 00:34:49,858 --> 00:34:53,896 Look at me. Do I look like a guy that knows where the party's at? 555 00:34:53,897 --> 00:34:56,434 Look at me, Ralph! Do I look like a man who's gonna leave without what he wants? 556 00:34:56,436 --> 00:34:59,102 Now, where's the party? There had to be a backup plan. 557 00:34:59,103 --> 00:35:01,938 No, the plan was originally to have the party at Carl's house. 558 00:35:01,939 --> 00:35:03,474 - Carl Smith? - Yeah... 559 00:35:03,475 --> 00:35:06,410 but he's got these relatives, they're scary. 560 00:35:06,411 --> 00:35:09,481 Aaaggh. 561 00:35:09,482 --> 00:35:10,882 Who's your friend, Ralph? 562 00:35:10,883 --> 00:35:13,085 This is my principal, Mr. Dickwalter. 563 00:35:13,086 --> 00:35:14,388 Ahhh... Mr. Dickwilder. 564 00:35:14,389 --> 00:35:15,422 Walter. 565 00:35:15,423 --> 00:35:17,223 - What... Wilder? - Dickwalter. 566 00:35:17,224 --> 00:35:18,424 Dick-Wilder. 567 00:35:18,425 --> 00:35:19,559 Dickwalter! 568 00:35:19,560 --> 00:35:21,294 Dickwalter... Dickwalter. 569 00:35:21,295 --> 00:35:25,301 Yes, my son Ralph, he studied so very hard to get into Harvard. 570 00:35:25,302 --> 00:35:27,937 Can you please find it in your heart to reconsider? 571 00:35:27,938 --> 00:35:31,073 Oh, I know how you must feel, I wish I could help you... 572 00:35:31,074 --> 00:35:32,976 but he should've thought of the consequences... 573 00:35:32,977 --> 00:35:35,911 before he decided to throw a kegger at my house. 574 00:35:35,912 --> 00:35:37,513 You can forget about Harvard for him... 575 00:35:37,514 --> 00:35:40,751 In fact, maybe he can work with you in the kitchen, or whatever it is you do. 576 00:35:40,752 --> 00:35:43,937 I'll be back, one minute. 577 00:35:44,657 --> 00:35:47,092 One minute, take two minutes. 578 00:35:47,093 --> 00:35:50,582 Your father's not very friendly, Ralph, huh? 579 00:35:54,401 --> 00:35:57,804 Wilder. Dickwilder, you son of a bitch! 580 00:35:57,805 --> 00:35:59,439 What about Harvard? 581 00:35:59,440 --> 00:36:02,275 First I find the party, then we'll talk about your future. 582 00:36:02,276 --> 00:36:05,781 'Till then, I wouldn't throw away those classifieds. Huh? 583 00:36:05,782 --> 00:36:07,448 Watch out for that one, huh? 584 00:36:07,449 --> 00:36:09,618 Dickwilder! 585 00:36:10,619 --> 00:36:15,293 [screams] 586 00:36:16,294 --> 00:36:19,408 It's only just Harvard... 587 00:36:22,967 --> 00:36:25,582 My cleaver! 588 00:36:33,213 --> 00:36:35,715 Why're you getting all whiny and shit? 589 00:36:35,716 --> 00:36:38,318 Like you're some big fucking douche geek gay boy. 590 00:36:38,319 --> 00:36:42,822 Oh Carla, I'm so shy around you. If you would only kiss me... 591 00:36:42,823 --> 00:36:45,926 my rich and meaningless life would somehow be saved. 592 00:36:45,927 --> 00:36:49,130 Please, man. You're Adam Harris. Adam Fucking Harris! 593 00:36:49,131 --> 00:36:52,500 You're the John F. Kennedy Elementary School Spelling Bee Champ. 594 00:36:52,501 --> 00:36:56,373 You're the Thomas Edison Memorial Jr. High School Science Fair winner. 595 00:36:56,374 --> 00:36:58,374 You won the fucking science fair, man. 596 00:36:58,375 --> 00:37:00,976 I know, just shut up, you're making me sound like a fucking dork. 597 00:37:00,977 --> 00:37:03,747 - President of the Debate Club. - Yeah, yeah, just shut up. 598 00:37:03,749 --> 00:37:06,484 Vice President of The Late Society. 599 00:37:06,486 --> 00:37:08,352 OK. Quiet. People are gonna hear you. 600 00:37:08,353 --> 00:37:11,257 The Chess Club. The AV Club. Need I go on? 601 00:37:11,258 --> 00:37:12,891 Tate, I am a loser, okay? 602 00:37:12,892 --> 00:37:14,793 You are a risk taker, my friend. 603 00:37:14,794 --> 00:37:18,598 You are a walking, burning cauldron of intelligence and testosterone... 604 00:37:18,599 --> 00:37:23,270 all rolled into one beautiful, swaggering package of unmediated, undoubting love. 605 00:37:23,271 --> 00:37:24,371 That's really nice. 606 00:37:24,372 --> 00:37:26,041 I'd fuck you myself. 607 00:37:26,042 --> 00:37:29,510 Seriously, if I was a chick I would fuck the shit out of you. 608 00:37:29,511 --> 00:37:31,845 - Yeah. - Hell, I'd even let you do me in the ass. 609 00:37:31,846 --> 00:37:36,465 Great, if I was a guy, and I am a guy, if I was myself, I would say no to that. 610 00:37:45,197 --> 00:37:47,265 [panting] 611 00:37:47,266 --> 00:37:52,088 Oh, 70's Bush, 80's Trim, 90's Shaved, oh, Granny Surprise. 612 00:37:56,444 --> 00:37:58,912 I just locked myself out. 613 00:37:58,913 --> 00:38:00,547 Can I come in for a little while? 614 00:38:00,548 --> 00:38:02,383 Yeah, sure. 615 00:38:02,384 --> 00:38:06,568 Oh, it's so hot in here. I've got to take my clothes off. 616 00:38:11,893 --> 00:38:13,162 Is that all you got? 617 00:38:13,163 --> 00:38:16,031 Huh, yes. This is all I have, yeah. 618 00:38:16,032 --> 00:38:18,867 Well, do you want, like, a dip to go along with it? 619 00:38:18,868 --> 00:38:23,573 These chips are flavored like guacamole, so, no dip needed. 620 00:38:23,574 --> 00:38:27,911 Adam, you can put guacamole flavored chips in dip. 621 00:38:27,912 --> 00:38:30,249 - It actually tastes a lot better. - You sure? 622 00:38:30,250 --> 00:38:33,764 Positive, come on, let's see what you've got. 623 00:38:42,429 --> 00:38:46,000 - That is really good. - It's a start. 624 00:38:46,001 --> 00:38:50,924 Really, that's absolutely amazing, actually. What else can we make? 625 00:38:52,840 --> 00:38:55,744 I've always wanted to throw a crepes party. 626 00:38:55,745 --> 00:38:57,946 Crepes they're neat, like a perfect party food. 627 00:38:57,947 --> 00:38:59,581 It would be like, a buffet thing... 628 00:38:59,582 --> 00:39:01,884 and you'd put what you want inside the crepe. 629 00:39:01,886 --> 00:39:05,388 - And they're really fucking good. - You know what? 630 00:39:05,389 --> 00:39:07,358 - What? - We ought'a make some. 631 00:39:07,360 --> 00:39:10,227 - Oh, I don't know. - No, you should. 632 00:39:10,228 --> 00:39:12,898 Carla’s not gonna cook for you, you know... 633 00:39:12,899 --> 00:39:17,857 just 'cause you didn't buy decent food except these stupid guaca chips. 634 00:39:19,405 --> 00:39:21,506 Wow, these suck. 635 00:39:21,507 --> 00:39:26,812 Este problemo, hombre? Spanish for Be-atch! 636 00:39:26,814 --> 00:39:28,916 Carla, I love you. Come on. 637 00:39:28,917 --> 00:39:31,350 Thanks anyways. 638 00:39:31,351 --> 00:39:34,322 What do you think? 639 00:39:34,323 --> 00:39:38,227 I could step up to the plate, or take it in the ass. 640 00:39:38,228 --> 00:39:41,698 Step up to the plate, right? Wait! You in the back! 641 00:39:41,699 --> 00:39:46,349 Who said take it in the ass? Fuck you! 642 00:39:48,239 --> 00:39:53,344 Oh... huh, hey! Um... see ya out there. 643 00:39:53,345 --> 00:39:55,027 Yeah. 644 00:40:07,629 --> 00:40:11,765 - Hey. - Hey, Sweetie. 645 00:40:11,766 --> 00:40:15,369 Okay, this is amazing, 'cause you two are models, 646 00:40:15,370 --> 00:40:18,506 and like you're so beautiful, and I just have to ask you this. 647 00:40:18,507 --> 00:40:19,907 Yeah? 648 00:40:19,908 --> 00:40:25,581 Your boobs, they're like so big, and perfect... 649 00:40:25,582 --> 00:40:28,018 and I just wanna know, did you get them done? 650 00:40:28,019 --> 00:40:30,220 And if you did, who did them for you? 651 00:40:30,221 --> 00:40:31,855 You don't need a boob job, girl. 652 00:40:31,857 --> 00:40:33,457 They're beautiful. [coil] 653 00:40:33,459 --> 00:40:35,259 I went to Dr. Murray Scholl Smith. 654 00:40:35,260 --> 00:40:38,562 I used to be a O, he made me a double D. 655 00:40:38,563 --> 00:40:41,532 - But, there's no incision. - He goes in under the arm. 656 00:40:41,533 --> 00:40:43,970 - Not through the nipple? - Hell no! 657 00:40:43,971 --> 00:40:46,072 So, what's your name anyway? 658 00:40:46,073 --> 00:40:47,841 Sicki. Mark Sicki. 659 00:40:47,842 --> 00:40:50,210 I know a Sicki. 660 00:40:50,211 --> 00:40:51,644 What's going on? 661 00:40:51,645 --> 00:40:54,447 Oh, I took a dump. 662 00:40:54,448 --> 00:40:56,916 Nice party. 663 00:40:56,917 --> 00:40:58,451 Thank you. 664 00:40:58,452 --> 00:41:01,590 Maybe the Sicki I know is like a relative of yours. 665 00:41:01,591 --> 00:41:04,726 Well, I doubt that, the only other Sicki in my family... 666 00:41:04,727 --> 00:41:06,428 is my brother Alex. He's in jail. 667 00:41:06,429 --> 00:41:12,303 Bingo! Alex Sicki the tattoo guy. He's in my cell block. 668 00:41:12,304 --> 00:41:14,758 Get the fuck outta here. 669 00:41:15,706 --> 00:41:19,165 Small world. Mm-mm? 670 00:41:27,019 --> 00:41:32,292 Scary people huh? They're gonna be scared of me, I'm scary people. 671 00:41:32,293 --> 00:41:34,442 Make sure that they ge... 672 00:41:36,633 --> 00:41:38,347 Aagh! 673 00:41:39,968 --> 00:41:44,425 How'd you sell a purple car with a cleaver in the roof, for God's sake? 674 00:41:45,875 --> 00:41:47,008 Who are these bozos? 675 00:41:47,009 --> 00:41:49,021 Leo. 676 00:41:54,453 --> 00:41:56,920 Get over here. Get over here. 677 00:41:56,921 --> 00:41:58,923 What're you, hard of hearing? 678 00:41:58,924 --> 00:42:00,357 Huh? 679 00:42:00,358 --> 00:42:03,144 I said what took you so long. 680 00:42:06,233 --> 00:42:08,335 Come on, brother. Come on. 681 00:42:08,336 --> 00:42:10,502 Hey, have something to eat. 682 00:42:10,504 --> 00:42:13,573 Yeah, try the sausage. They're the best in the city. 683 00:42:13,574 --> 00:42:15,208 He's a little hard of hearing. 684 00:42:15,209 --> 00:42:18,144 He says the sausages are good. Do you want a sausage? 685 00:42:18,145 --> 00:42:21,282 I'm not hard of hearing, and I don't care how... Jesus! 686 00:42:21,283 --> 00:42:23,852 Yeah, that's Philly. 687 00:42:23,853 --> 00:42:26,989 He won't be snitching anybody out anymore. 688 00:42:26,990 --> 00:42:30,059 You want something to eat? You got a lot of work ahead of ya. 689 00:42:30,060 --> 00:42:32,362 You can't dig a hole on an empty stomach. 690 00:42:32,363 --> 00:42:36,299 Ohh! I don't think, I... oh, oh... 691 00:42:36,800 --> 00:42:39,758 - he's not dead. - He's not? 692 00:42:46,479 --> 00:42:47,979 Well, he's now. 693 00:42:47,980 --> 00:42:50,649 Hey, good work. 694 00:42:50,650 --> 00:42:52,252 - My first time. - Good work. 695 00:42:52,253 --> 00:42:53,386 You'd never know it. 696 00:42:53,387 --> 00:42:54,789 - Good work. - That's so sweet. 697 00:42:54,790 --> 00:42:56,756 Really, great work, great work. 698 00:42:56,757 --> 00:42:59,125 Oh golly... What a day this has been. 699 00:42:59,126 --> 00:43:01,494 Here's your ounce of coke. 700 00:43:01,495 --> 00:43:04,199 We'll give you another ounce when you get back from the desert. 701 00:43:04,200 --> 00:43:06,234 Believe me, this is plenty. 702 00:43:06,235 --> 00:43:08,370 This is good shit, don't snort it all at once. 703 00:43:09,571 --> 00:43:11,473 You want a little food to hit the road with? 704 00:43:11,474 --> 00:43:13,410 No, I think this will be okay. 705 00:43:13,411 --> 00:43:17,314 Huh! These guys never shoot anyone thin. 706 00:43:17,315 --> 00:43:20,361 Oh, come on. 707 00:43:28,527 --> 00:43:30,675 That's just great. 708 00:43:32,767 --> 00:43:36,951 I bet this never happens to a private school principal. 709 00:43:53,324 --> 00:43:55,390 Oh, hey Isha! 710 00:43:55,391 --> 00:43:56,826 Hey, what's your deal? 711 00:43:56,827 --> 00:44:00,010 I mean, you're fucking hot, but you're crazy as shit. 712 00:44:03,102 --> 00:44:05,591 Crazy but hot! 713 00:44:13,981 --> 00:44:15,514 My bad. 714 00:44:15,515 --> 00:44:17,917 Damn right your bad. 715 00:44:17,918 --> 00:44:20,754 I like to drink beer, not wear it. 716 00:44:20,755 --> 00:44:24,542 I ought'a cut your fucking arms off. 717 00:44:28,664 --> 00:44:33,136 Yeah, suck my dick, baby. Yeah, suck it. Suck it hard. 718 00:44:33,137 --> 00:44:35,971 Oh, that's right, baby I Oh, yeah, oh yeah. Fuckin' eh. 719 00:44:35,972 --> 00:44:37,775 Oh my. 720 00:44:37,776 --> 00:44:39,675 Suck that motherfucker. Oh, oh. 721 00:44:39,676 --> 00:44:41,665 How nice. 722 00:44:51,624 --> 00:44:57,963 I have here a poignant artifact of little Jamal's. 723 00:44:57,964 --> 00:45:02,769 His cellular phone, that miraculously survived... 724 00:45:02,770 --> 00:45:05,972 the impact of the fall. 725 00:45:05,973 --> 00:45:09,543 Now, if only Jamal's fragile, 726 00:45:09,544 --> 00:45:12,481 cancer-ridden young body... 727 00:45:12,482 --> 00:45:15,418 had been as durable. 728 00:45:15,919 --> 00:45:20,533 (cell phone rings) 729 00:45:21,593 --> 00:45:22,826 Hello? 730 00:45:22,827 --> 00:45:26,330 (male voice) Is Jamal there? - No, Jamal has passed on. 731 00:45:26,331 --> 00:45:28,099 Oh man. That's fucked up 732 00:45:28,100 --> 00:45:30,267 Thank you very much for those kind words. 733 00:45:30,268 --> 00:45:32,136 - Is he Dead? - Yeah. 734 00:45:32,138 --> 00:45:33,639 - Shit. - Goodbye. 735 00:45:33,640 --> 00:45:36,441 And then they shot the guy. They had guns, Minn! 736 00:45:36,442 --> 00:45:38,010 Who did? 737 00:45:38,011 --> 00:45:41,081 - The mafia, aren't you even listening? - Not really. 738 00:45:41,082 --> 00:45:42,984 You know something? This is terrific. 739 00:45:42,985 --> 00:45:46,154 The one person supposed to be trustworthy... hold on a second... 740 00:45:46,155 --> 00:45:48,822 Let me finish with her before I deal with you. 741 00:45:48,823 --> 00:45:52,751 Hey, I'm sorry. Turns out the dead guy's not d... Ahhhh! 742 00:45:57,433 --> 00:46:00,968 - Holy shit! - Oh shit. 743 00:46:01,969 --> 00:46:04,040 Uh... these things smell. 744 00:46:04,041 --> 00:46:06,810 - Oh my God, sir, are you okay? - I think so, yeah. 745 00:46:06,811 --> 00:46:10,247 - Mr. Dickwalter? - Who wants to know? 746 00:46:10,248 --> 00:46:13,286 Ellen Harris, class of '96. 747 00:46:13,287 --> 00:46:15,287 You busted my Skip Day party. 748 00:46:15,288 --> 00:46:18,156 Oh yeah, yeah, you look good, what have you been up to? 749 00:46:18,157 --> 00:46:20,828 This isn't my regular car. I just use this for school stuff. 750 00:46:24,132 --> 00:46:26,633 Oh, you gotta be fucking kidding me. 751 00:46:26,634 --> 00:46:30,455 Oh yeah? You know what Dickwalter means in German? 752 00:46:32,008 --> 00:46:34,258 Scumbag! 753 00:46:35,512 --> 00:46:40,835 No. Not scumbag. But you're close. 754 00:46:48,392 --> 00:46:49,460 Dude. 755 00:46:49,461 --> 00:46:51,177 [scream] 756 00:46:53,031 --> 00:46:56,600 I'd like to make amends for my behavior earlier. 757 00:46:56,601 --> 00:46:58,837 You see, I have anger issues. 758 00:46:58,838 --> 00:47:00,139 Uh-huh. 759 00:47:00,140 --> 00:47:02,909 And I'm now gonna make you an offering. 760 00:47:02,910 --> 00:47:06,012 Drink. 761 00:47:06,013 --> 00:47:08,882 Go ahead, it'll make me feel better. 762 00:47:08,883 --> 00:47:11,317 I don't, I don't want to. 763 00:47:11,318 --> 00:47:13,321 Drink up. 764 00:47:13,322 --> 00:47:14,833 Drink! 765 00:47:26,569 --> 00:47:31,257 Good. Now I feel better. Have a nice party. 766 00:47:32,611 --> 00:47:36,848 Oh, yes Yes, oh I 767 00:47:36,849 --> 00:47:39,016 She's very pretty. 768 00:47:39,017 --> 00:47:42,339 Not him, but her. 769 00:47:45,826 --> 00:47:47,335 [click] 770 00:47:49,295 --> 00:47:55,723 Oh... oh, Jesus. 771 00:48:05,181 --> 00:48:06,761 Sorry. 772 00:48:16,861 --> 00:48:18,929 So, Tate. How did you meet Adam? 773 00:48:18,930 --> 00:48:20,965 We met at a Star Trek convention. 774 00:48:20,966 --> 00:48:24,137 Although he'd probably punch me in the eye for saying that. 775 00:48:24,138 --> 00:48:27,674 So, for the record, I met him at the gym. 776 00:48:27,675 --> 00:48:29,042 I was spotting him. 777 00:48:29,043 --> 00:48:32,513 He must have been benching 4... 500,000 pounds. 778 00:48:32,514 --> 00:48:37,299 - Yeah, right. - He's stronger than he looks. 779 00:48:38,819 --> 00:48:39,989 What do you think? 780 00:48:39,990 --> 00:48:43,306 I... I think, that was weak. 781 00:48:46,764 --> 00:48:48,830 Whoa. 782 00:48:48,832 --> 00:48:50,533 Huh, excuse me. Everybody, can I... 783 00:48:50,534 --> 00:48:53,570 I just get your attention for one quick sec? 784 00:48:53,571 --> 00:48:55,272 Is everybody having a good time? 785 00:48:55,273 --> 00:48:57,375 - Yeah... - You suck. 786 00:48:57,376 --> 00:48:58,579 Okay. 787 00:48:58,580 --> 00:49:01,215 Um, I have an announcement to make. 788 00:49:01,216 --> 00:49:06,054 Somebody in our class is a master chef... 789 00:49:06,055 --> 00:49:08,891 and that somebody is gonna cook you all... 790 00:49:08,892 --> 00:49:12,330 the greatest meal known to man and... 791 00:49:12,331 --> 00:49:16,033 And to woman as well. And that somebody... 792 00:49:16,034 --> 00:49:21,377 is none other than Whippany Park's own Carla Maxwell. 793 00:49:21,378 --> 00:49:25,335 Give her a hand, Carla [cheers] 794 00:49:30,590 --> 00:49:32,058 Wait, Carla, wait wait. 795 00:49:32,059 --> 00:49:34,761 I can't believe you put me on the spot like that. 796 00:49:34,762 --> 00:49:36,763 Can I just tell you something quickly? 797 00:49:36,764 --> 00:49:39,434 I see you, and you clearly love cooking, okay? 798 00:49:39,435 --> 00:49:42,538 But you have this weird thing where you don't want to do it. 799 00:49:42,539 --> 00:49:45,844 Or you think you're not good, I, I don't get it. 800 00:49:45,845 --> 00:49:49,804 But I can tell you really do want to do this. 801 00:49:51,921 --> 00:49:53,999 So, let's make some crepes. 802 00:49:56,693 --> 00:49:59,329 This is gonna be our chopping station over here. 803 00:49:59,331 --> 00:50:02,835 I'm gonna need a big, um, mixing bowl. And a wooden spoon. 804 00:50:02,836 --> 00:50:05,937 Wooden spoon, right? I have two, as a matter of fact. 805 00:50:05,938 --> 00:50:07,708 Yeah, both, that's good. 806 00:50:07,709 --> 00:50:09,211 A whisker? 807 00:50:09,212 --> 00:50:11,632 Whisk. Yeah, it's a whisk. 808 00:50:30,107 --> 00:50:32,910 Oh my God, this is gonna be so awesome. 809 00:50:32,911 --> 00:50:37,700 I think Carla’s talking to that Harris guy or something. Oh, hey. 810 00:50:39,355 --> 00:50:43,176 Up, up, up, up. Oh, shit. 811 00:50:46,562 --> 00:50:49,749 Okay, you're gonna catch this one. 812 00:51:00,417 --> 00:51:03,886 Aagh I Oh, shit. 813 00:51:03,887 --> 00:51:07,056 Do you want this? Okay. Yeah, no, no problem. 814 00:51:07,057 --> 00:51:11,363 Um, Carla, when do the cooks get to eat? 815 00:51:11,364 --> 00:51:14,652 This one's for you. 816 00:51:16,104 --> 00:51:18,941 What's this? 817 00:51:18,942 --> 00:51:22,279 Holy Shit. Hey, Harry, come check this out, dog. 818 00:51:22,280 --> 00:51:26,885 Man, I cannot believe what a diversified portfolio this is, man. 819 00:51:26,886 --> 00:51:30,457 Is that the flagship episode of Dirty Debutantes? 820 00:51:30,458 --> 00:51:32,994 Yes, it is my brother. Yes it is. 821 00:51:32,995 --> 00:51:34,764 I'm speechless, man. 822 00:51:34,765 --> 00:51:38,068 That one such landmark film was Romancing the Bone. 823 00:51:38,069 --> 00:51:41,106 There's a scene with Steve Drink and steamy Tory Whales 824 00:51:41,107 --> 00:51:42,908 it's just one of the highlights. 825 00:51:42,909 --> 00:51:45,913 Are you referring to where he got her bent over the sink 826 00:51:45,914 --> 00:51:48,216 and smacked her on the ass with a Brillo pad? 827 00:51:48,217 --> 00:51:50,085 Yes, perfection. I love it. 828 00:51:50,086 --> 00:51:53,087 I respectfully disagree. I mean, this much louder scene 829 00:51:53,088 --> 00:51:57,729 never done it for me, like, uh, Sexy Sorority Kittens I... I. 830 00:51:57,730 --> 00:51:59,633 Where 50 women go down on them boys? 831 00:51:59,634 --> 00:52:04,839 Dude, I can't believe that you put that confusing mangle of pulsating flesh 832 00:52:04,840 --> 00:52:08,043 on the same level as a hot and intimate moment over a toilet. 833 00:52:08,044 --> 00:52:11,482 You know how freaky your girl gotta be to let you hit her over the toilet? 834 00:52:11,483 --> 00:52:13,617 Yeah, but that shit gave me cream dreams. 835 00:52:13,618 --> 00:52:15,073 You're tripping. 836 00:52:20,128 --> 00:52:21,696 There chicken in that crepe? 837 00:52:21,697 --> 00:52:23,599 Isha, it's not that big of a deal. 838 00:52:23,600 --> 00:52:25,466 Oh, it is a big deal. 839 00:52:25,467 --> 00:52:30,542 The genocide of poultry. Bovine mutilation. The fornification of pork. 840 00:52:30,543 --> 00:52:31,709 What the fuck? 841 00:52:31,710 --> 00:52:34,348 Have you ever nestled your cheek 842 00:52:34,349 --> 00:52:37,117 into a chicken's soft feathers? 843 00:52:37,118 --> 00:52:40,022 They're glorious creatures. 844 00:52:40,023 --> 00:52:43,859 Tell me something. Did a chicken ever find a cure to polio? 845 00:52:43,860 --> 00:52:47,698 Has a chicken ever represented you in court? Pro bono? 846 00:52:47,699 --> 00:52:52,639 When's the last time a chicken sang a song so sweet it made you cry? 847 00:52:52,640 --> 00:52:55,544 Tell me. Name one. No? 848 00:52:55,545 --> 00:52:58,414 That's 'cause they're fucking chickens. 849 00:52:58,415 --> 00:53:01,252 You know what I think your problem is? 850 00:53:01,253 --> 00:53:04,054 You're secretly craving it. 851 00:53:04,055 --> 00:53:05,891 You're despicable. 852 00:53:05,893 --> 00:53:07,882 H mph! 853 00:53:09,798 --> 00:53:10,965 M mm. 854 00:53:10,966 --> 00:53:13,001 Dude, we're running low on booze. 855 00:53:13,002 --> 00:53:15,704 What about that liquor cabinet your parents have? 856 00:53:15,705 --> 00:53:17,876 I do not want to deal with Sonja right now. 857 00:53:17,877 --> 00:53:19,510 Who? 858 00:53:19,511 --> 00:53:24,027 I don't even want to get into it, to be honest right now. 859 00:53:26,853 --> 00:53:31,176 What the hell's the mafia doing in Southern California anyway? 860 00:53:31,962 --> 00:53:33,712 May I help you? 861 00:53:34,565 --> 00:53:35,732 Scott Taylor here? 862 00:53:35,733 --> 00:53:37,168 Who are you? 863 00:53:37,169 --> 00:53:40,473 Frank Dickwalter. Whippany Park H high principal. 864 00:53:40,474 --> 00:53:42,076 Now, is Scott Taylor here? 865 00:53:42,077 --> 00:53:43,644 Huh, no, he's in school. 866 00:53:43,645 --> 00:53:47,983 Um, no, he's not, 'cause, like, I'm here! 867 00:53:47,984 --> 00:53:51,254 Now look, I don't want to interrupt you, whatever it is you're doing. 868 00:53:51,255 --> 00:53:53,992 I'm stretching. I'm a dancer. 869 00:53:53,993 --> 00:53:55,726 Course you are. 870 00:53:55,727 --> 00:53:58,949 Um, do I detect a hint of sarcasm? 871 00:53:59,602 --> 00:54:01,202 No. 872 00:54:01,203 --> 00:54:03,473 Sarcasm would be if you said you were a dancer and I said 873 00:54:03,474 --> 00:54:04,805 "Gee, you don't look it!" 874 00:54:04,806 --> 00:54:06,842 Ooh. 875 00:54:06,843 --> 00:54:09,014 Alright, forget I said that. 876 00:54:09,015 --> 00:54:12,585 I didn't intend to get angry, because I know you people are sensitive. 877 00:54:12,586 --> 00:54:16,356 Wait, wait, wait. What people? What people? 878 00:54:16,357 --> 00:54:19,862 You! Christ, look at you! 879 00:54:19,864 --> 00:54:24,201 You better get off my porch before I'm unable to control myself. 880 00:54:24,202 --> 00:54:27,808 Buddy, you're already unable to control yourself. 881 00:54:27,809 --> 00:54:30,594 Oh, it's show time! 882 00:55:09,033 --> 00:55:11,521 Best Skip Day ever. 883 00:55:13,204 --> 00:55:15,573 You know, you totally ruined Skip Day. 884 00:55:15,574 --> 00:55:17,510 I know. I did. 885 00:55:17,511 --> 00:55:20,279 I can't believe you told Dickwalter about the party. 886 00:55:20,280 --> 00:55:23,618 Yeah, I know. I should not have done that. 887 00:55:23,619 --> 00:55:27,473 But then you saved it. And you made it even better. 888 00:55:28,621 --> 00:55:30,062 Hey. 889 00:55:30,099 --> 00:55:31,259 Hi. 890 00:55:31,296 --> 00:55:35,733 So, it's getting right around cleanup time, I'd say. 891 00:55:35,734 --> 00:55:39,039 So Carla, you know, Harris and I, we'll take it from here, 892 00:55:39,040 --> 00:55:42,743 because as you know, the chef doesn't clean up after her masterpiece. 893 00:55:42,744 --> 00:55:44,846 Thanks Scott. I think we got it. 894 00:55:44,847 --> 00:55:48,386 He's right. You should just hang out, have fun. We'll take care of it. 895 00:55:48,387 --> 00:55:49,654 Really? 896 00:55:49,655 --> 00:55:51,189 Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. 897 00:55:51,190 --> 00:55:53,373 Okay. Thanks. 898 00:55:55,296 --> 00:55:57,582 Look at the legs on that, huh? 899 00:56:01,138 --> 00:56:03,105 Listen, I was talking about the wine. 900 00:56:03,106 --> 00:56:06,878 You know Harris, you are one sick fuck, you know that? 901 00:56:06,879 --> 00:56:08,347 But I like you. 902 00:56:08,349 --> 00:56:11,884 So, uh, yeah. Did you have fun today? You know. 903 00:56:11,885 --> 00:56:13,588 Yeah, I did. Yeah. Thank you. 904 00:56:13,589 --> 00:56:16,424 Yeah? You know, uh, my name's Adam Harris 905 00:56:16,425 --> 00:56:18,763 and I graduated in the top of my class. 906 00:56:18,764 --> 00:56:22,867 Hey, Carla, how 'bout we make some crepes, how does that sound? Yeah! 907 00:56:22,869 --> 00:56:28,175 Yeah, sounds great! Maybe I can get in your panties. No. Wrong. X. 908 00:56:28,176 --> 00:56:31,714 Don't even think about it. Forget about it, as they say in Italian. 909 00:56:31,715 --> 00:56:34,984 At the end of the day, she's my girl, don't forget about that. 910 00:56:34,985 --> 00:56:36,052 I haven't. 911 00:56:36,053 --> 00:56:37,921 That skirt, right there. 912 00:56:37,922 --> 00:56:41,059 Yeah, there is a nice supple peach under that motherfucker. 913 00:56:41,060 --> 00:56:42,696 Fuck me. 914 00:56:42,697 --> 00:56:44,151 F.Y.I. 915 00:56:44,152 --> 00:56:46,452 she swallows. 916 00:56:49,706 --> 00:56:51,039 Hey Denise. 917 00:56:51,040 --> 00:56:56,147 Look at her, that's what I want to do. 918 00:56:56,148 --> 00:56:59,218 What, give a lap dance to some drooling idiot? 919 00:56:59,219 --> 00:57:00,754 Yeah. 920 00:57:00,755 --> 00:57:04,360 Way to let 'em drop, that's what I'm talking about. 921 00:57:04,361 --> 00:57:07,350 That shit is called game, homie! 922 00:57:12,804 --> 00:57:16,196 Did you know that hemp can be made into bags and clothes? 923 00:57:18,681 --> 00:57:20,568 Even shoes. 924 00:57:21,584 --> 00:57:23,985 Why would I wanna smoke my shoes, 925 00:57:23,986 --> 00:57:28,092 when I can just take my stash and smoke with my lady friends? 926 00:57:28,093 --> 00:57:32,967 Hemp is an alternative to animals. 927 00:57:32,968 --> 00:57:35,268 Yeah. 928 00:57:35,269 --> 00:57:38,241 So, don't wear animals. 929 00:57:38,242 --> 00:57:39,574 But, uh, 930 00:57:39,576 --> 00:57:44,715 cotton is of the plant kingdom. 931 00:57:44,716 --> 00:57:47,901 The Spinster is safe. 932 00:57:49,358 --> 00:57:50,423 Yeah. 933 00:57:50,424 --> 00:57:52,125 Yeah. 934 00:57:52,126 --> 00:57:53,761 Yeah. 935 00:57:53,762 --> 00:57:56,445 Where are we? 936 00:58:11,688 --> 00:58:12,787 Hey. 937 00:58:12,788 --> 00:58:14,457 Hi! 938 00:58:14,459 --> 00:58:16,994 You developed a bit of a taste for nerd today. 939 00:58:16,995 --> 00:58:19,064 He's a good guy. 940 00:58:19,065 --> 00:58:20,199 But I'm a good guy. 941 00:58:20,200 --> 00:58:21,501 Are you? Really? 942 00:58:21,502 --> 00:58:23,035 Yeah. Let me show you. 943 00:58:23,036 --> 00:58:25,406 Oh my God, is that all you ever think about? 944 00:58:25,407 --> 00:58:28,243 Sweetheart, it's my favorite thing to think about. 945 00:58:28,244 --> 00:58:29,845 You are hopeless. 946 00:58:29,846 --> 00:58:32,817 Hopelessly in love. With you, no? 947 00:58:32,818 --> 00:58:34,183 No. 948 00:58:34,185 --> 00:58:37,757 Oh, look, sweetheart. I know you're nervous. 949 00:58:37,758 --> 00:58:39,192 Yeah, I am nervous. 950 00:58:39,193 --> 00:58:43,031 Me too. It's okay. You know, but, I love you. 951 00:58:43,032 --> 00:58:48,404 And, just, you know, I want it to be special for the both of us. 952 00:58:48,405 --> 00:58:52,878 I love you. Just you and me, nice and slow. 953 00:58:52,879 --> 00:58:57,533 Just scented candles, it's gonna be awesome. 954 00:59:02,358 --> 00:59:03,426 Hey. 955 00:59:03,427 --> 00:59:05,362 Hey. 956 00:59:05,363 --> 00:59:07,932 Did anyone ever tell you that you're beautiful? 957 00:59:07,933 --> 00:59:12,789 Your passion is very attractive. 958 00:59:16,946 --> 00:59:20,649 Oh my God. I'm so fucking hungry. 959 00:59:20,650 --> 00:59:26,272 Oooh. Oh, I think you're ready to be bad. 960 00:59:34,803 --> 00:59:38,741 M mm. Oh my God. Oh my God. 961 00:59:38,742 --> 00:59:43,826 That is so good. Give me another bite. Please. 962 00:59:50,025 --> 00:59:53,195 See, the thing is guys, I've got a secret. 963 00:59:53,196 --> 00:59:54,296 What? 964 00:59:54,297 --> 00:59:55,967 The alphabet. 965 00:59:55,968 --> 00:59:57,034 The alphabet? 966 00:59:57,035 --> 00:59:58,335 You know, the alphabet. 967 00:59:58,336 --> 00:59:59,951 A, 968 01:00:01,342 --> 01:00:04,627 B, 969 01:00:05,581 --> 01:00:07,350 you do it right, chicks love the B. 970 01:00:07,351 --> 01:00:10,318 Carl, check this out I'm talking about tongue-fucking bitches 971 01:00:10,319 --> 01:00:12,488 Dude, that's the oldest trick in the book, man. 972 01:00:12,489 --> 01:00:14,323 I was getting my girl to climax by O. 973 01:00:14,360 --> 01:00:16,454 Well, uh, I get Carla by the I. 974 01:00:16,664 --> 01:00:18,505 - I? - Yeah. 975 01:00:18,528 --> 01:00:19,799 Never done that before. 976 01:00:19,800 --> 01:00:21,369 'Cause you're not dotting it. 977 01:00:21,370 --> 01:00:23,137 Did you invite Ralph? 978 01:00:23,138 --> 01:00:25,542 Yeah, I think I invited everybody. 979 01:00:25,543 --> 01:00:27,410 That's good. Can you text him again? 980 01:00:27,411 --> 01:00:28,979 Cause I'm kind'a feeling like 981 01:00:28,980 --> 01:00:31,414 he needs to come to this party more than anyone. 982 01:00:31,415 --> 01:00:32,784 That's a good call. 983 01:00:32,785 --> 01:00:34,820 Yeah, I mean, I'm playing. But I'm not. 984 01:00:34,821 --> 01:00:35,889 Okay. 985 01:00:35,890 --> 01:00:38,142 Let's do that. 986 01:00:41,965 --> 01:00:43,977 Kleenex in the bathroom. 987 01:01:01,358 --> 01:01:02,426 What? 988 01:01:02,427 --> 01:01:05,331 Frank, are you okay? 989 01:01:05,332 --> 01:01:07,268 Never better, Minn. Top of the world. 990 01:01:07,269 --> 01:01:12,908 Well, perk up Sunshine. I know who's behind the Skip Day party. 991 01:01:12,909 --> 01:01:16,746 [screeching tires] 992 01:01:16,747 --> 01:01:21,352 Hold on. What? Who? Who's behind it? 993 01:01:21,353 --> 01:01:23,955 Adam Harris. 994 01:01:23,956 --> 01:01:26,159 Adam Harris? You asshole, Minn. 995 01:01:26,160 --> 01:01:29,632 It can't be Adam Harris, he's the only decent one in the whole bunch. 996 01:01:29,633 --> 01:01:31,268 Give me another name. 997 01:01:31,269 --> 01:01:33,435 What the hell is you talking about? 998 01:01:33,436 --> 01:01:36,439 Adam just sent a text message over to Ralph's phone 999 01:01:36,440 --> 01:01:38,377 inviting him to the Skip Day party. 1000 01:01:38,378 --> 01:01:41,114 It can't be him, it's a forgery! 1001 01:01:41,115 --> 01:01:45,286 Frank, Adam sent a picture of himself 1002 01:01:45,287 --> 01:01:49,006 grinding with a bunch of skinny hooch’s! 1003 01:01:50,227 --> 01:01:51,774 Adam? 1004 01:01:53,264 --> 01:01:56,915 Frank? Frank, are you there? 1005 01:01:58,106 --> 01:02:02,029 Frank? Frank are you there? [disco music] 1006 01:02:18,835 --> 01:02:20,303 Hello, old friend. 1007 01:02:20,304 --> 01:02:22,415 What the hell? 1008 01:02:40,565 --> 01:02:43,334 What's the big deal about having sex with Carla anyway? 1009 01:02:43,335 --> 01:02:46,305 You're about to go to U.C.L.A. on a football scholarship, man! 1010 01:02:46,306 --> 01:02:48,175 You're gonna be knee deep in pussy. 1011 01:02:48,176 --> 01:02:52,481 But, I put three good goddamn years into this relationship, boys. 1012 01:02:52,482 --> 01:02:54,118 I deserve to get laid at least once. 1013 01:02:54,119 --> 01:02:55,884 Dude, you get laid all the time. 1014 01:02:55,885 --> 01:02:58,821 Everyone knows you're having sexual relations with the prom queen. 1015 01:02:58,822 --> 01:03:00,190 Dude, shut up! 1016 01:03:00,191 --> 01:03:02,827 Besides, I got a secret that always works. 1017 01:03:02,828 --> 01:03:04,430 Tell her you're a virgin, man. 1018 01:03:04,431 --> 01:03:06,367 Oh, she'll never believe that. 1019 01:03:06,368 --> 01:03:08,803 Yes, she will, tell her you're a virgin. 1020 01:03:08,804 --> 01:03:12,140 She'll believe it 'cause she wants to, 'cause she loves you, man. 1021 01:03:13,005 --> 01:03:15,816 - A virgin. - She loves you! 1022 01:03:16,948 --> 01:03:18,250 You're so right. 1023 01:03:18,251 --> 01:03:19,617 I know. 1024 01:03:19,618 --> 01:03:21,287 You're like a prophet, man. 1025 01:03:21,289 --> 01:03:22,690 I watch a lot of videos. 1026 01:03:22,691 --> 01:03:24,460 Hey. 1027 01:03:24,461 --> 01:03:26,797 Hey. 1028 01:03:26,798 --> 01:03:28,965 You were really cute when you were little. 1029 01:03:28,966 --> 01:03:31,700 Ah, thank you. 1030 01:03:31,702 --> 01:03:34,908 Sorry. You don't want people in here, do you? 1031 01:03:34,909 --> 01:03:36,708 No, no, no. It's no big deal. 1032 01:03:36,709 --> 01:03:39,513 That one my dad took, actually. 1033 01:03:39,514 --> 01:03:41,182 Where is he? 1034 01:03:41,183 --> 01:03:43,919 I have no idea where my dad is. 1035 01:03:43,920 --> 01:03:46,756 Huh, the North Pole I guess. I don't know. 1036 01:03:46,757 --> 01:03:48,458 So, he skipped. 1037 01:03:48,459 --> 01:03:52,597 Yes. He did. He left his 7 year old daughter with my mom, 1038 01:03:52,598 --> 01:03:55,523 and he sort of headed out of town. 1039 01:03:56,672 --> 01:04:00,175 Sometimes I wish my family would skip. 1040 01:04:00,176 --> 01:04:02,789 They just don't really get me. 1041 01:04:05,351 --> 01:04:08,239 Well, I get you. 1042 01:04:09,456 --> 01:04:10,689 Oh shit. 1043 01:04:10,690 --> 01:04:11,825 I really like him. 1044 01:04:11,826 --> 01:04:13,729 That sounded so gay. 1045 01:04:13,730 --> 01:04:16,798 I think I can trust him. 1046 01:04:16,799 --> 01:04:20,504 Adam? Um, 1047 01:04:20,505 --> 01:04:23,841 are you, are you a virgin? 1048 01:04:23,842 --> 01:04:26,980 What? No. No, what? 1049 01:04:26,981 --> 01:04:28,049 Shit. 1050 01:04:28,050 --> 01:04:29,449 Why would you think that? 1051 01:04:29,450 --> 01:04:32,255 Oh my God. She is onto me. 1052 01:04:32,256 --> 01:04:33,990 I can't believe I just said that. 1053 01:04:33,991 --> 01:04:35,926 You know, 'cause it's okay if you are. 1054 01:04:35,927 --> 01:04:39,464 Right, well, yeah. No, it would be okay if I was. But, I'm not. 1055 01:04:39,465 --> 01:04:44,370 That's not how things are. I have not been a virgin for years. 1056 01:04:44,371 --> 01:04:47,142 Decades. I lost my virginity so long ago. 1057 01:04:47,143 --> 01:04:49,978 What happened, I was in Eastern Europe with my family. 1058 01:04:49,979 --> 01:04:54,150 I was at a hotel. Um, I had nothing to do that night. 1059 01:04:54,151 --> 01:04:57,657 And I went out, and thought, why don't I try and lose my virginity, 1060 01:04:57,658 --> 01:05:02,362 you know, let's go for it. So, went out to this whore district, you know, 1061 01:05:02,363 --> 01:05:06,702 just 'cause I figured easier, right? So, I go there, and I meet this girl, Gretchen, 1062 01:05:06,703 --> 01:05:10,706 she had one leg. And, and I, you know, talked to her and I was, like, 1063 01:05:10,707 --> 01:05:16,215 hey, you know, let's do it. So she's, like, alright, well, sure, why not, you know. 1064 01:05:16,216 --> 01:05:19,218 And so we did, and it was good. And it was fun and all that. 1065 01:05:19,219 --> 01:05:21,657 You know, I was nervous, I was really nervous. 1066 01:05:21,658 --> 01:05:23,391 Yeah. 1067 01:05:23,392 --> 01:05:26,230 Never done that before, you know, but then I figured, 1068 01:05:26,231 --> 01:05:31,737 she's, you know, amputee, virgin, right? Whole thing kind of evened out. 1069 01:05:31,738 --> 01:05:33,440 What the fuck am I talking about? 1070 01:05:33,441 --> 01:05:35,175 Who is this guy? 1071 01:05:35,176 --> 01:05:38,362 Come downstairs. You're not gonna believe this. 1072 01:05:48,162 --> 01:05:50,563 Oh my god, No, no, no, no, no. 1073 01:05:50,564 --> 01:05:54,234 That's my mom's table. That table's very expensive. No! 1074 01:05:54,235 --> 01:05:56,556 Oh God. 1075 01:05:58,141 --> 01:06:00,611 Go Denise. Go Denise. 1076 01:06:00,612 --> 01:06:03,295 Go Denise. Go Denise. 1077 01:06:06,856 --> 01:06:10,090 I need a dollar bill. I need a dollar bill. Who's got a dollar? 1078 01:06:10,091 --> 01:06:13,896 Does anybody have dollar? Okay, okay. Does anybody have a dollar? 1079 01:06:13,897 --> 01:06:17,467 I do not have a dollar. Can anybody bust up a ten? 1080 01:06:17,468 --> 01:06:19,304 Can anybody bust up a ten? 1081 01:06:19,305 --> 01:06:26,013 Hey, uh, you know, I have something I need to tell you. 1082 01:06:26,014 --> 01:06:29,152 But I've been hiding it from you, 1083 01:06:29,153 --> 01:06:33,055 because I'm really embarrassed about it. 1084 01:06:33,057 --> 01:06:34,926 What? 1085 01:06:34,927 --> 01:06:40,633 The truth is, I'm I'm a virgin, Carla. 1086 01:06:40,635 --> 01:06:42,052 Really? 1087 01:06:42,054 --> 01:06:43,524 Yeah. 1088 01:06:50,247 --> 01:06:53,569 Oh, let's go to the bedroom. 1089 01:06:55,723 --> 01:06:58,759 Oh my god. I really did blow it. 1090 01:06:58,760 --> 01:07:00,863 Hey man, this isn't over. 1091 01:07:00,864 --> 01:07:03,149 Yes it is. It's too late, I blew it. 1092 01:07:10,375 --> 01:07:12,245 Are you nervous? 1093 01:07:12,246 --> 01:07:13,846 Yeah. 1094 01:07:13,847 --> 01:07:18,019 Me too. Happy, but nervous at the same time. 1095 01:07:18,020 --> 01:07:20,322 I can't believe you're letting this happen. 1096 01:07:20,323 --> 01:07:22,591 Tate, I fucked up, and it's done, it's over. 1097 01:07:22,592 --> 01:07:26,064 Stop them, stake your claim. Plant your flag. 1098 01:07:26,065 --> 01:07:31,372 Okay, plant your flag. What does that even mean? That doesn't mean anything. 1099 01:07:31,373 --> 01:07:35,445 I don't know what it means. But it sounds good. 1100 01:07:35,446 --> 01:07:36,578 It does sound good. 1101 01:07:36,579 --> 01:07:38,015 Damn right it sounds good. 1102 01:07:38,016 --> 01:07:39,349 That sounds really good. 1103 01:07:39,350 --> 01:07:41,118 Damn right it sounds really good. 1104 01:07:41,119 --> 01:07:42,286 I gotta plant my flag. 1105 01:07:42,287 --> 01:07:43,522 You plant that flag! 1106 01:07:43,523 --> 01:07:45,125 I gotta plant my flag. 1107 01:07:45,126 --> 01:07:46,526 Go! Go! 1108 01:07:46,527 --> 01:07:49,899 I'm glad it's the first time for both of us. 1109 01:07:49,900 --> 01:07:52,935 I know. I know. 1110 01:07:52,936 --> 01:07:58,557 Alright, I know. I should just, I gotta, but no, can you really expect me to just... 1111 01:08:00,779 --> 01:08:04,485 Okay, look, no. This is the moment of truth. I gotta seize the day. 1112 01:08:04,486 --> 01:08:07,522 Okay. I think I'm ready. 1113 01:08:07,523 --> 01:08:09,842 Me too. 1114 01:08:12,262 --> 01:08:14,666 I'm gonna do this. I'm gonna do this. 1115 01:08:14,667 --> 01:08:16,133 Ready? 1116 01:08:16,134 --> 01:08:17,748 Yeah. 1117 01:08:25,316 --> 01:08:29,053 I can't believe it. It's too late. I'm too late. 1118 01:08:29,054 --> 01:08:32,021 Oh yeah. Oh, this is gonna be fucking awesome. 1119 01:08:32,022 --> 01:08:34,026 Here we go, Laura, I just gotta get it... 1120 01:08:34,027 --> 01:08:35,196 What? Wait. 1121 01:08:35,197 --> 01:08:36,263 Carla. Carla. 1122 01:08:36,264 --> 01:08:37,798 No, what did you just say? 1123 01:08:37,800 --> 01:08:40,902 That is so messed up. She's definitely fucking him. 1124 01:08:40,904 --> 01:08:42,136 You just called me Laura! 1125 01:08:42,137 --> 01:08:43,674 No! 1126 01:08:43,675 --> 01:08:46,844 I'm not making this shit up. She was fucking him. 1127 01:08:46,845 --> 01:08:48,245 Have you been fucking Laura? 1128 01:08:48,246 --> 01:08:51,467 She was fucking his brains out! 1129 01:08:52,686 --> 01:08:54,155 You bastard! 1130 01:08:54,156 --> 01:08:56,269 Oh. 1131 01:08:59,129 --> 01:09:01,230 Hey! You're hot. 1132 01:09:01,231 --> 01:09:03,903 I can't believe how stupid I was. 1133 01:09:03,904 --> 01:09:07,273 Oh, fuck, man. Carla! 1134 01:09:07,274 --> 01:09:09,058 Fuck off! 1135 01:09:12,349 --> 01:09:13,682 Jesus. 1136 01:09:13,684 --> 01:09:14,951 You wanna make out? 1137 01:09:14,952 --> 01:09:17,998 Okay. 1138 01:09:20,726 --> 01:09:23,012 Oh, I can't fucking believe this. 1139 01:09:27,101 --> 01:09:28,648 Hey! 1140 01:09:42,958 --> 01:09:44,560 Um, this is weird. 1141 01:09:44,561 --> 01:09:46,447 Get it dude. 1142 01:09:52,337 --> 01:09:53,471 Oh my God. 1143 01:09:53,472 --> 01:09:55,519 Oh my God! 1144 01:09:59,412 --> 01:10:01,015 Carla, is everything... 1145 01:10:01,016 --> 01:10:03,219 Get the hell away from me! I don't wanna talk to you! 1146 01:10:03,220 --> 01:10:04,520 He's all yours, honey. 1147 01:10:04,521 --> 01:10:06,587 This is your own fault, you cock tease. 1148 01:10:06,588 --> 01:10:08,458 Hey, you know what, you can't talk to her like that. 1149 01:10:08,459 --> 01:10:10,972 Oh yeah, the bitch is all yours, what're you gonna do about it? 1150 01:10:10,973 --> 01:10:12,574 What? 1151 01:10:13,500 --> 01:10:17,204 I'm sorry bro. But, fuck. I've been wanting to do that all day, man. 1152 01:10:17,205 --> 01:10:20,020 Oh my god. 1153 01:10:20,021 --> 01:10:21,377 Mom. 1154 01:10:21,378 --> 01:10:22,957 Oh, shit. 1155 01:10:24,683 --> 01:10:28,619 Mom, uh, I seized the day, you remember? You said, seize the day this morning? 1156 01:10:28,620 --> 01:10:30,770 You've destroyed the house, you... 1157 01:10:34,096 --> 01:10:37,599 Not again. What have you done? 1158 01:10:37,600 --> 01:10:43,086 Mom, I threw a party. I threw a party, and it was awesome. 1159 01:10:43,087 --> 01:10:45,811 - Yeah... - Wasn't it? It was... 1160 01:10:45,812 --> 01:10:47,147 - You rule... - Thank you... 1161 01:10:47,148 --> 01:10:50,818 Thank you. Whoever said that. That's a long time coming. 1162 01:10:50,819 --> 01:10:54,489 Tate, he played all of this music, and it was amazing, and... 1163 01:10:54,490 --> 01:10:56,926 and this old guy, he bought us liquor and I... 1164 01:10:56,927 --> 01:10:59,897 I built a... I built a bong in our garage. 1165 01:10:59,898 --> 01:11:01,298 - Oh great. - And... and... 1166 01:11:01,299 --> 01:11:03,669 then we called up these models and these models came over... 1167 01:11:03,670 --> 01:11:06,373 and we took pictures of them in their underwear. 1168 01:11:06,375 --> 01:11:09,277 And then everybody came over and we just partied. 1169 01:11:09,278 --> 01:11:11,733 And, you stuck your finger in the dog's ass. 1170 01:11:11,734 --> 01:11:13,284 Yeah... 1171 01:11:13,285 --> 01:11:17,688 Yes, that, I... I did do that. That was an accident. 1172 01:11:17,689 --> 01:11:20,460 And then there's Carla. 1173 01:11:20,461 --> 01:11:24,566 She made these... these crepes, they're just, they were amazing. 1174 01:11:24,567 --> 01:11:29,072 And she's amazing, and I got a chance to talk to her and lied... 1175 01:11:29,073 --> 01:11:34,479 and I lied, and I said... I said some stupid things and... 1176 01:11:34,480 --> 01:11:36,095 I'm sorry. 1177 01:11:38,785 --> 01:11:40,622 Oh shit... it's Dickwalter. 1178 01:11:40,623 --> 01:11:43,425 Mom! You cannot open that door. 1179 01:11:43,426 --> 01:11:48,887 If you do, none of us are going to college. He's insane. 1180 01:11:52,707 --> 01:11:54,958 Everybody hide! Everybody... 1181 01:12:01,684 --> 01:12:03,620 Hi, Mrs. Harris. 1182 01:12:03,621 --> 01:12:06,156 Is the entire senior class home? 1183 01:12:06,157 --> 01:12:08,929 Mr. Dickwalter. What are you doing here? 1184 01:12:08,930 --> 01:12:12,741 What am I doing here? I'm working my way through college, what'd you think... 1185 01:12:12,742 --> 01:12:15,671 I'm doing here? I'm here to bust the Senior Skip Day party. 1186 01:12:15,672 --> 01:12:18,274 Well, good luck with that, sir. 1187 01:12:18,275 --> 01:12:20,111 You trying to tell me there's not a 100 kids on the other side of that door? 1188 01:12:20,112 --> 01:12:23,382 I think I would know, if there were a 100 kids standing behind me, alright? 1189 01:12:23,383 --> 01:12:25,770 How 'bout Ellen, is she home? 1190 01:12:28,889 --> 01:12:30,523 Say I asked, okay? 1191 01:12:30,524 --> 01:12:34,563 I've got it. They're at the Washington funeral. 1192 01:12:34,564 --> 01:12:36,800 They're at the Washington funeral, sir. 1193 01:12:36,801 --> 01:12:38,702 There is no funeral. 1194 01:12:38,703 --> 01:12:41,506 Your son made fools out of all of us. 1195 01:12:41,507 --> 01:12:45,112 He's been there all day, with the entire senior class. 1196 01:12:45,113 --> 01:12:47,849 He's been there all day with the entire senior class. 1197 01:12:47,850 --> 01:12:51,519 There's no funeral! They're at a party! Why won't any one listen to me? 1198 01:12:51,520 --> 01:12:55,291 - I dropped him off myself. - I dropped him off myself. 1199 01:12:55,292 --> 01:12:56,661 They're at, huh... 1200 01:12:56,662 --> 01:13:00,167 1762 One Eden Lane. 1201 01:13:00,168 --> 01:13:03,938 1762 One Eden Lane. 1202 01:13:03,939 --> 01:13:06,008 Gotta go. 1203 01:13:06,009 --> 01:13:08,725 Bye. 1204 01:13:08,846 --> 01:13:10,379 Dickwalter, you remember me? 1205 01:13:10,380 --> 01:13:13,318 People like you don't remember people like me. 1206 01:13:13,319 --> 01:13:16,089 You just prance away through other people's lives, 1207 01:13:16,090 --> 01:13:19,546 spewing your bullshit about taking the moral high road. 1208 01:13:21,898 --> 01:13:23,666 Wait a minute. Huffier? 1209 01:13:23,667 --> 01:13:26,469 Your old classmate. You do remember. 1210 01:13:26,470 --> 01:13:28,404 - You 'member anything else about me? - No. 1211 01:13:28,405 --> 01:13:31,811 Like how you ratted out my Skip Day party to the principal? 1212 01:13:31,812 --> 01:13:36,650 Oh, yeah, that's right. Good times, well, see ya. 1213 01:13:36,651 --> 01:13:39,822 You ruined any chance I had of going to technical college! 1214 01:13:39,823 --> 01:13:41,089 You see, I had a dream. 1215 01:13:41,090 --> 01:13:42,226 Oh God! 1216 01:13:42,227 --> 01:13:46,563 I had a dream of being an air conditioning repairman, and you fucked that dream up. 1217 01:13:46,564 --> 01:13:48,366 - And then they locked me up. - Why? 1218 01:13:48,367 --> 01:13:50,468 And the long, lonely nights began. 1219 01:13:50,469 --> 01:13:51,606 Aagh. 1220 01:13:51,607 --> 01:13:53,106 That's when I got a new dream. 1221 01:13:53,107 --> 01:13:54,578 - Alright, let's hear it. - Yeah... 1222 01:13:54,579 --> 01:13:59,414 I'm dreaming of opening a barbecue shack, Lionel's Barbecue Palace. 1223 01:13:59,415 --> 01:14:01,584 I came back for you, Dickwalter, 'cause 1224 01:14:01,585 --> 01:14:04,691 you're gonna help me make my new dream come true. 1225 01:14:04,692 --> 01:14:10,380 See, I'm gonna cut your fucking head off and put it on the menu. 1226 01:14:20,447 --> 01:14:23,717 You think too small. Ever been to Burma? 1227 01:14:23,718 --> 01:14:27,221 They chase their whiskey with snake venom and the women all do that basket trick. 1228 01:14:27,222 --> 01:14:31,537 Now, excuse me! But I've got a phony funeral to attend. 1229 01:14:33,765 --> 01:14:37,203 Boy. That guy's really changed. 1230 01:14:37,204 --> 01:14:39,841 What the hell have you done, Adam? He's gonna show up at the funeral.. 1231 01:14:39,842 --> 01:14:41,777 none of us will be there and we all be fucked. 1232 01:14:41,778 --> 01:14:45,882 Shut up, Tate! Ellen, you're and mom are the only sober persons here. 1233 01:14:45,883 --> 01:14:47,719 - Can you do me a favor? - What's that! 1234 01:14:47,754 --> 01:14:50,455 Do you know how to drive a house? 1235 01:14:50,520 --> 01:14:54,138 Beat the Dick 1236 01:15:00,102 --> 01:15:01,956 Whoa. 1237 01:15:02,572 --> 01:15:05,857 Beat the Dick! Beat the Dick! 1238 01:15:33,916 --> 01:15:37,120 Here you go, Philly. She's all yours. 1239 01:15:37,121 --> 01:15:39,008 Use it in good health. 1240 01:15:57,482 --> 01:15:59,700 Ease! 1241 01:16:04,225 --> 01:16:07,463 Well, well, well, looks like Mr. Dickwalter wins again. 1242 01:16:07,464 --> 01:16:10,800 Got the entire senior class, might as well have graduation here, 1243 01:16:10,801 --> 01:16:13,417 except none of you are gonna graduate now! 1244 01:16:14,773 --> 01:16:16,373 Drinks, food, 1245 01:16:16,374 --> 01:16:21,014 everything I'd want if I lost a son. I have lost a son. 1246 01:16:21,015 --> 01:16:24,554 Mr. Dickwalter, sir. I think you've got the wrong idea here. 1247 01:16:24,555 --> 01:16:27,135 You broke my heart, kid! 1248 01:16:28,826 --> 01:16:32,251 I'll call it even if you put in a good word with your sister. 1249 01:16:32,964 --> 01:16:37,856 Come on. Hot. 1250 01:16:41,478 --> 01:16:43,847 Who is this asshole? 1251 01:16:43,848 --> 01:16:46,716 That's my principal, pop. Mr. Dickwalter. 1252 01:16:46,717 --> 01:16:48,468 Motherfucker. 1253 01:16:49,221 --> 01:16:52,338 You got a cast of extras too? 1254 01:16:57,832 --> 01:17:01,204 The rest of you disgust me as well 'cause you covered up for them. 1255 01:17:01,205 --> 01:17:04,442 You like to party, you wanna have a party? I like to have a party! 1256 01:17:04,443 --> 01:17:08,799 I know how to party, you wanna have a party? Here... 1257 01:17:12,643 --> 01:17:14,799 Huh... huh? 1258 01:17:19,730 --> 01:17:23,402 No? Suit yourself, more for me. 1259 01:17:23,403 --> 01:17:25,825 Motherfucker. 1260 01:17:31,114 --> 01:17:35,402 Not my style. I like a cold beer, and I bet I know just where it is. 1261 01:17:42,831 --> 01:17:44,231 That's a dead kid. 1262 01:17:44,232 --> 01:17:46,153 Motherfucker. 1263 01:18:01,057 --> 01:18:02,089 Phew. 1264 01:18:02,090 --> 01:18:04,204 Hey, Dickwalter! 1265 01:18:05,195 --> 01:18:08,708 Tell me more about Burma. 1266 01:18:12,571 --> 01:18:14,994 Fantastic. 1267 01:18:17,011 --> 01:18:20,548 Does anybody else find it ironic that this asshole goes through hell... 1268 01:18:20,549 --> 01:18:22,686 trying to punish us for skipping school, 1269 01:18:22,687 --> 01:18:28,859 and yet he himself ends up skipping off to Burma with an escaped convict? 1270 01:18:28,860 --> 01:18:31,099 You know what though? I'm... 1271 01:18:31,100 --> 01:18:34,001 I'm actually kind'a proud of him, I really am. 1272 01:18:34,002 --> 01:18:36,470 Sick bastard that he is. 1273 01:18:36,471 --> 01:18:39,409 Aren't you sick of listening to him already? 1274 01:18:39,410 --> 01:18:41,777 What's your problem, you're still mad at me? 1275 01:18:41,778 --> 01:18:44,249 I don't know. Are you still full of shit? 1276 01:18:44,250 --> 01:18:46,585 I'm always full of shit. 1277 01:18:46,586 --> 01:18:48,754 Now, just one more thing. Really quickly. 1278 01:18:48,755 --> 01:18:52,594 True love. It is a rare, rare thing. 1279 01:18:52,595 --> 01:18:56,667 And when you find it, you need to grab the bull by its horns. 1280 01:18:56,668 --> 01:19:00,673 And you need to wrestle it to the ground. And then you need to take... 1281 01:19:00,674 --> 01:19:02,475 Shut up and kiss me. 1282 01:19:02,476 --> 01:19:03,987 Okay. 1283 01:19:16,428 --> 01:19:17,994 That was really good. 1284 01:19:17,995 --> 01:19:20,501 - Was it? - See, you got it all over your mouth. 1285 01:19:20,502 --> 01:19:23,038 You know how long I've been waiting to do that? 1286 01:19:23,039 --> 01:19:24,873 3 weeks, that's how long... 1287 01:19:24,874 --> 01:19:29,112 - 3 weeks, 4 if you count rehearsals. - We kissed in rehearsal. 1288 01:19:29,181 --> 01:19:31,150 - No we didn't. - Yeah we did. 1289 01:19:31,151 --> 01:19:33,785 You have a completly warped imagination. 1290 01:19:33,786 --> 01:19:37,423 - You kissed Alan in rehearsals. - You just don't remember it, that sucks. 1291 01:19:37,424 --> 01:19:39,423 - I never kissed you in rehearsals. - You don't remember, but you did. 1292 01:19:39,424 --> 01:19:41,530 - We never did... - Oh my god, that's really sad. 1293 01:19:41,531 --> 01:19:44,566 - This was our first kiss. - No, it wasn't, that's really sad. 1294 01:19:44,567 --> 01:19:46,438 The first one didn't make much of an impression, obviously. 1295 01:19:46,439 --> 01:19:49,475 Obviously, that's sad. 1296 01:19:49,476 --> 01:19:52,844 Uhmm, are you upset that we're done with the movie? 1297 01:19:52,845 --> 01:19:54,248 - Yes. - Yeah? 1298 01:19:54,249 --> 01:19:56,149 - What're we gonna do? - Now? 1299 01:19:56,150 --> 01:19:57,752 - Yeah. - I don't know. 1300 01:19:57,753 --> 01:20:00,857 Can I finish up what I was gonna say before you interrupted me... 1301 01:20:00,859 --> 01:20:01,958 - No, you're annoying... - and made me kiss you? 1302 01:20:01,960 --> 01:20:03,359 I was gonna say, that... 1303 01:20:03,360 --> 01:20:04,994 - true love is a rare thing... - God... 1304 01:20:04,995 --> 01:20:07,264 - when you find it you need to... - Just shut up and kiss me. 1305 01:20:07,265 --> 01:20:09,533 grab it by it's horns, you need to wrestle it to the ground... 1306 01:20:09,534 --> 01:20:13,474 and then you need to take your matador saber and you need to plunge it... 1307 01:20:13,475 --> 01:20:15,978 into the cavity of its chest, and then you need... 1308 01:20:15,979 --> 01:20:17,913 What? Where're you plunging it into? 1309 01:20:17,914 --> 01:20:22,186 You take your matador saber. Matador is the guy that fights bulls in Spain. 1310 01:20:22,187 --> 01:20:25,757 Or in really strange areas of the U S, I suppose. 1311 01:20:25,758 --> 01:20:28,595 And he kills the bull with his matador saber. 1312 01:20:28,596 --> 01:20:31,367 Plunges it into the feathering cavity of his chest, 1313 01:20:31,368 --> 01:20:35,039 and then he kicks it while it's on the ground. Then later on he barbecues it. 1314 01:20:35,040 --> 01:20:36,372 Wanna do the head butt? 1315 01:20:36,373 --> 01:20:38,909 Yeah! Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. 1316 01:20:38,910 --> 01:20:40,345 This is our version. 1317 01:20:40,346 --> 01:20:42,884 Yeah. So, okay. 1318 01:20:42,885 --> 01:20:44,483 True love is a rare thing. 1319 01:20:44,484 --> 01:20:47,221 When you find it you need to grab the bull by the horns... 1320 01:20:47,222 --> 01:20:50,025 and you need to wrestle it to the ground, and then... 1321 01:20:50,026 --> 01:20:52,128 Just shut up and kiss me. 1322 01:20:52,129 --> 01:20:53,944 Okay. 1323 01:20:54,298 --> 01:20:56,167 Boom. 1324 01:20:56,168 --> 01:20:59,872 Then she falls to the ground, and then I kick her. And I kick her. 1325 01:20:59,873 --> 01:21:03,077 And I say, "That's for six years... 1326 01:21:03,078 --> 01:21:05,947 junior high and high school, of torture". 1327 01:21:05,948 --> 01:21:09,907 Huh, your frappuccino's here, Mr. Lundy. 1328 01:21:11,823 --> 01:21:16,862 Harris, that's my girl. 1329 01:21:16,863 --> 01:21:18,875 Give me a kiss. 1330 01:21:21,002 --> 01:21:22,972 During sexually intimate moments, 1331 01:21:22,973 --> 01:21:26,291 do you ever feel like your woman's distracted? 1332 01:21:27,444 --> 01:21:31,266 There's a party at Mr. Dickwalter's? 1333 01:21:41,732 --> 01:21:42,999 Motherfucker. 1334 01:21:43,000 --> 01:21:44,667 One more time. 1335 01:21:44,668 --> 01:21:45,935 Motherfucker. 1336 01:21:45,936 --> 01:21:47,439 One more time. 1337 01:21:47,440 --> 01:21:49,708 Who is that asshole? 1338 01:21:49,709 --> 01:21:52,947 That's my principal, Pop. Mr. Dickwalter. 1339 01:21:52,948 --> 01:21:54,401 Motherfucker. 1340 01:21:55,019 --> 01:21:56,734 Marker. 1341 01:21:58,388 --> 01:22:00,290 Set I And action! 1342 01:22:00,291 --> 01:22:03,127 What do you know about this Washington kid's funeral? 1343 01:22:03,128 --> 01:22:04,761 So, what you trying to say? 1344 01:22:04,762 --> 01:22:07,032 That because I'm black, I gotta know where 1345 01:22:07,033 --> 01:22:09,236 every other black person's funeral is at? 1346 01:22:09,237 --> 01:22:10,337 Oh, Jesus. 1347 01:22:10,338 --> 01:22:11,774 That we all know each other? 1348 01:22:11,775 --> 01:22:13,174 Here we go. 1349 01:22:13,175 --> 01:22:15,945 That every black person is a fucking cousin? 1350 01:22:15,946 --> 01:22:18,049 Frankly, yes. 1351 01:22:18,050 --> 01:22:20,818 Well, I'll have you know... 1352 01:22:20,819 --> 01:22:23,188 that I have three cousins... 1353 01:22:23,189 --> 01:22:27,442 Shaniqua, Santander, and Quanta, and they all white. 1354 01:22:27,797 --> 01:22:28,830 Marker. 1355 01:22:28,831 --> 01:22:31,651 You broke my heart, kid. 1356 01:22:35,606 --> 01:22:39,845 I'll call it even if you put in a good word with your sister. 1357 01:22:39,847 --> 01:22:45,706 'Cause she's like, phew, I mean, know what I mean? 1358 01:22:49,193 --> 01:22:51,063 Oh my God. 1359 01:22:51,064 --> 01:22:53,416 Cut! 1360 01:23:08,585 --> 01:23:11,010 I'm so fucked up. 1361 01:23:13,861 --> 01:23:15,577 - Cut! - Motherfucker.