1
00:00:01,985 --> 00:00:06,072
Baby, who wants to love me sexy?
2
00:00:07,448 --> 00:00:10,910
Baby, who's ready to lick me sexy?
3
00:00:13,079 --> 00:00:18,234
Baby, we're naked
and we're humpin' sexy
4
00:00:18,334 --> 00:00:21,212
Love me sexy!
5
00:00:28,094 --> 00:00:30,789
Come on girl, yeah
6
00:00:30,889 --> 00:00:33,458
It's me, Jackie Moon
7
00:00:33,558 --> 00:00:36,294
Give me that look, that's right
8
00:00:36,394 --> 00:00:39,547
Let's get sweaty,
let's get real sweaty
9
00:00:39,647 --> 00:00:42,425
I'm talkin' rainforest sweaty
10
00:00:42,525 --> 00:00:45,345
I'm talkin' swamp sweaty
11
00:00:45,445 --> 00:00:50,141
Let's fill the bathtub full of sweat
all right
12
00:00:50,241 --> 00:00:55,939
Baby, who wants to love me sexy?
13
00:00:56,039 --> 00:01:01,377
Baby, are you ready to lick me sexy?
14
00:01:02,879 --> 00:01:05,490
Baby, wake up we're naked
15
00:01:05,590 --> 00:01:08,952
And we're humpin' sexy
16
00:01:09,052 --> 00:01:10,286
Come on girl
17
00:01:10,386 --> 00:01:15,041
Baby, who wants to love me sexy?
18
00:01:15,141 --> 00:01:16,292
Love me sexy
19
00:01:16,392 --> 00:01:19,796
Baby, are you ready to lick me sexy?
20
00:01:19,896 --> 00:01:21,965
Lick me sexy
21
00:01:22,065 --> 00:01:24,968
Take off your shoes
and suck me sexy
22
00:01:25,068 --> 00:01:27,679
Suck suck
suck, suck, suck me sexy
23
00:01:27,779 --> 00:01:31,474
Baby, we're naked
and we're humpin' sexy
24
00:01:31,574 --> 00:01:33,810
Sexy
25
00:01:33,910 --> 00:01:36,479
I wanna do a little thing wit' you
26
00:01:36,579 --> 00:01:39,315
I wanna do a little thing
wit' you
27
00:01:39,415 --> 00:01:42,235
When I say "love me"
you say "sexy"
28
00:01:42,335 --> 00:01:43,820
Love me
29
00:01:43,920 --> 00:01:47,365
- Sexy.
- Oh yeah Flint Tropics crowd!
30
00:01:47,465 --> 00:01:51,077
Get it goin'. It feels good doesn't it?
31
00:01:51,177 --> 00:01:53,371
I see some ladies up there
who wanna love me sexy.
32
00:01:53,471 --> 00:01:56,332
Jackie Moon soaking up
a robust round of applause...
33
00:01:56,432 --> 00:02:00,628
as he finishes up his
once-popular song Love Me Sexy.
34
00:02:00,728 --> 00:02:02,505
I'm Dick Pepperfield, joined
as always...
35
00:02:02,605 --> 00:02:05,341
by former Tropics forward
Lou Redwood.
36
00:02:05,441 --> 00:02:07,468
Yeah I might suit up tonight.
37
00:02:07,568 --> 00:02:09,846
Sometimes I still dream of glory Dick.
38
00:02:09,946 --> 00:02:13,324
Well, sometimes dreams
can turn into nightmares, Lou.
39
00:02:14,450 --> 00:02:15,393
What's your problem?
40
00:02:15,493 --> 00:02:17,604
And now the starting lineup...
41
00:02:17,704 --> 00:02:22,483
for your Flint Michigan Tropics!
42
00:02:22,583 --> 00:02:28,364
At Ball Girl measuring 34-23-34...
43
00:02:28,464 --> 00:02:30,200
she hopes to be
an astronaut one day...
44
00:02:30,300 --> 00:02:32,035
I don't think she can do it.
45
00:02:32,135 --> 00:02:36,706
Put your hands together for Melinda!
46
00:02:36,806 --> 00:02:39,250
Go Tropics!
47
00:02:39,350 --> 00:02:40,710
From South Bend Indiana...
48
00:02:40,810 --> 00:02:44,505
this guy has a heart of gold
his brother's a retard.
49
00:02:44,605 --> 00:02:47,717
He reads to him
and paints him pretty pictures...
50
00:02:47,817 --> 00:02:50,553
Scootsie Doubleday!
51
00:02:50,653 --> 00:02:52,847
Scootsie Doubleday
taking the court now.
52
00:02:52,947 --> 00:02:54,724
Yeah his brother
is really retarded.
53
00:02:54,824 --> 00:02:55,725
Ronnie Doubleday.
54
00:02:55,825 --> 00:02:58,603
He has all three
major kinds of retardation.
55
00:02:58,703 --> 00:03:02,357
This guy is single and
disease-free no V.D. at all...
56
00:03:02,457 --> 00:03:05,401
but you could be the lucky girl
to give it to him!
57
00:03:05,501 --> 00:03:06,861
Six foot five!
58
00:03:06,961 --> 00:03:09,322
Twiggy Munson!
59
00:03:09,422 --> 00:03:10,573
Of course he's disease-free.
60
00:03:10,673 --> 00:03:12,408
What chick wants to be with a guy
that's hung like a twig?
61
00:03:12,508 --> 00:03:14,327
Well that's not true.
I've heard a lot of women say...
62
00:03:14,427 --> 00:03:15,745
that they actually prefer a small penis.
63
00:03:15,845 --> 00:03:18,456
Show me one gal who says that
and I'll show you a liar.
64
00:03:18,556 --> 00:03:21,000
I'll introduce you to
Mrs. Pepperfield later on tonight.
65
00:03:21,100 --> 00:03:22,293
Oh Jesus here we go.
66
00:03:22,393 --> 00:03:23,544
Your man in the middle...
67
00:03:23,644 --> 00:03:24,837
seven foot two...
68
00:03:24,937 --> 00:03:27,757
from a weird country called Lithuania.
69
00:03:27,857 --> 00:03:29,926
He's ugly as shit.
70
00:03:30,026 --> 00:03:34,764
- Vakidis!
- Go daddy!
71
00:03:34,864 --> 00:03:36,015
- This fella scares me.
- Yeah!
72
00:03:36,115 --> 00:03:38,559
That little kid from the Jackson Five
he scares ya too.
73
00:03:38,659 --> 00:03:40,061
Oh mark my words Lou...
74
00:03:40,161 --> 00:03:42,272
there's something creepy
about that young man.
75
00:03:42,372 --> 00:03:43,940
Bobby Dee where's Clarence?
76
00:03:44,040 --> 00:03:45,608
- Nobody's heard from him.
- Come on Tropics!
77
00:03:45,708 --> 00:03:46,985
Bee Bee!
78
00:03:47,085 --> 00:03:48,319
You're startin'.
79
00:03:48,419 --> 00:03:50,613
From Peoria Illinois...
80
00:03:50,713 --> 00:03:52,073
this guy
what can I say about him?
81
00:03:52,173 --> 00:03:55,118
He's got the hottest girl in the world
I'm not kiddin'.
82
00:03:55,218 --> 00:03:58,162
Cannons people. Big ol' boobies.
83
00:03:58,262 --> 00:04:04,085
The luckiest man in Flint--
Bee Bee Ellis!
84
00:04:04,185 --> 00:04:05,878
Well, it's true about
what they say about Bee Bee's wife.
85
00:04:05,978 --> 00:04:08,047
She has got a tremendous set of boobs.
86
00:04:08,147 --> 00:04:09,507
To me they're too large.
87
00:04:09,607 --> 00:04:11,009
Oh they're perfect.
88
00:04:11,109 --> 00:04:14,512
I don't know they--To me
she looks structurally unsound.
89
00:04:14,612 --> 00:04:17,682
And now the moment
you've all been waiting for.
90
00:04:17,782 --> 00:04:22,353
At six foot five
a solid meaty 215 pounds...
91
00:04:22,453 --> 00:04:25,648
your pregame announcer,
your owner, your coach...
92
00:04:25,748 --> 00:04:28,776
your pop-singing sensation,
but most importantly...
93
00:04:28,876 --> 00:04:30,153
your power forward...
94
00:04:30,253 --> 00:04:36,159
yours truly, Jackie Moon!
95
00:04:36,259 --> 00:04:37,493
All right!
96
00:04:37,593 --> 00:04:39,370
Jackie Moon
always gives himself...
97
00:04:39,470 --> 00:04:41,372
a fantastic introduction.
98
00:04:41,472 --> 00:04:42,707
- Yeah, why not, Dick?
- Let's go! Let's go! Let's go!
99
00:04:42,807 --> 00:04:45,835
It's his team, his money and
his tunnel of beautiful ball girls.
100
00:04:45,935 --> 00:04:48,921
Oh speaking of money Lou
did you get paid this week?
101
00:04:49,021 --> 00:04:49,964
No.
102
00:04:50,064 --> 00:04:51,674
You lose weight Father Pat?
103
00:04:51,774 --> 00:04:52,717
Fuck off Jackie.
104
00:04:52,817 --> 00:04:56,637
All right guys huddle up.
Vakidis!
105
00:04:56,737 --> 00:04:58,806
What is he doin'?
You know what? Fuck it.
106
00:04:58,906 --> 00:05:01,267
Listen I promised these fans
a show tonight all right?
107
00:05:01,367 --> 00:05:03,853
Twiggy, if you get a dunk tonight
try to break that backboard all right?
108
00:05:03,953 --> 00:05:05,521
- We'll get that on the news.
- All right.
109
00:05:05,621 --> 00:05:07,857
Let's bring it in,
it's showtime right? Let's get...
110
00:05:07,957 --> 00:05:09,442
Tropical!
111
00:05:09,542 --> 00:05:12,003
Go Tropics!
112
00:05:12,712 --> 00:05:14,364
Right here right here right here!
113
00:05:14,464 --> 00:05:16,157
I don't like it.
114
00:05:16,257 --> 00:05:17,450
Back! Back!
115
00:05:17,550 --> 00:05:19,911
Clear!
Yep that feels good. That feels--
116
00:05:20,011 --> 00:05:22,789
- Danny what are ya doin'?
- Nothin'. Eatin' nachos.
117
00:05:22,889 --> 00:05:24,207
You get 'em from the concession stand?
118
00:05:24,307 --> 00:05:26,876
- Nah I brought 'em from home.
- What?
119
00:05:26,976 --> 00:05:28,419
No no no no no.
120
00:05:28,519 --> 00:05:29,879
Oh come on!
121
00:05:29,979 --> 00:05:31,089
- What?
- Travel!
122
00:05:31,189 --> 00:05:33,257
He brought nachos from home.
Tryin' to run a business here.
123
00:05:33,357 --> 00:05:35,218
- You can't call that.
- Jackie you gotta dribble...
124
00:05:35,318 --> 00:05:36,219
if you're gonna move.
125
00:05:36,319 --> 00:05:37,553
What are you talkin' about?
126
00:05:37,653 --> 00:05:39,430
- Basketball rules.
- Fine.
127
00:05:39,530 --> 00:05:41,891
I got season tickets.
I can do whatever the hell I want.
128
00:05:41,991 --> 00:05:43,659
Oh yeah?
Well I can do this.
129
00:05:44,744 --> 00:05:45,895
And this.
130
00:05:45,995 --> 00:05:49,148
And that!
131
00:05:49,248 --> 00:05:50,833
Let's go Trops!
132
00:05:52,043 --> 00:05:54,487
We are well underway
and the big question Lou--
133
00:05:54,587 --> 00:05:58,241
where is Tropics' leading scorer
Clarence "Downtown" Malone?
134
00:05:58,341 --> 00:06:00,451
I agree it's completely
unprofessional, Dick.
135
00:06:00,551 --> 00:06:02,453
Lou, can I ask you
to please put out your cigarette?
136
00:06:02,553 --> 00:06:04,622
No I like to smoke when I drink.
137
00:06:04,722 --> 00:06:07,500
Hey so don't get all lonely
on me now, people.
138
00:06:07,600 --> 00:06:09,894
Come on down to Pet Galaxy.
139
00:06:12,271 --> 00:06:13,840
So you make sure you tell 'em...
140
00:06:13,940 --> 00:06:15,925
Sweet Sugar Dunkerton sent ya.
141
00:06:16,025 --> 00:06:17,735
Hey! I'm open.
142
00:06:22,657 --> 00:06:25,101
Gentlemen what can I get for you?
143
00:06:25,201 --> 00:06:26,936
Hey wasn't that just you?
144
00:06:27,036 --> 00:06:28,563
- There on TV?
- You like that don't you?
145
00:06:28,663 --> 00:06:29,605
That's cool huh?
146
00:06:29,705 --> 00:06:32,567
Hey the TV say your name was
Sugar Dunkinton.
147
00:06:32,667 --> 00:06:34,944
How come your nametag don't say that?
148
00:06:35,044 --> 00:06:36,446
'Cause I changed it.
149
00:06:36,546 --> 00:06:40,633
"Downtown Funky Stuff" Malone.
150
00:06:41,467 --> 00:06:43,911
- Clarence!
- "Downtown".
151
00:06:44,011 --> 00:06:46,664
I ain't never named
no son of mine no "Downtown".
152
00:06:46,764 --> 00:06:49,041
Well you know what?
I can't hear a damn thing you sayin'.
153
00:06:49,141 --> 00:06:51,502
Every hear of a clock? It's 7:15.
154
00:06:51,602 --> 00:06:52,770
Shit!
155
00:07:05,533 --> 00:07:08,603
OK Tropics fans
it's time to guess today's attendance.
156
00:07:08,703 --> 00:07:12,148
Is it A, 7254...
157
00:07:12,248 --> 00:07:14,901
- B, 8,506--
- Go inside!
158
00:07:15,001 --> 00:07:17,570
or C, 91?
159
00:07:19,130 --> 00:07:21,949
Look at that an easy lay-up there
for the Nets. That's two points.
160
00:07:22,049 --> 00:07:24,452
I'm thinking of getting
one of these Jap cars like a Datsun.
161
00:07:24,552 --> 00:07:27,413
Yeah. Put away the classifieds
please, Lou, and let's focus.
162
00:07:27,513 --> 00:07:34,170
All right, fans, let's hear it for
"Downtown Funky Stuff" Malone!
163
00:07:34,270 --> 00:07:35,713
Father Pat that guy's gotta
check in the game all right?
164
00:07:35,813 --> 00:07:36,756
I got it I got it.
165
00:07:36,856 --> 00:07:39,675
Downtown wastes no time
tagging out Bee Bee Ellis...
166
00:07:39,775 --> 00:07:41,677
and Munson passes him the ball
immediately.
167
00:07:41,777 --> 00:07:44,597
Downtown dribbles the ball through
his legs--I love it when he does that.
168
00:07:44,697 --> 00:07:46,682
He's making mincemeat
of his defender here.
169
00:07:46,782 --> 00:07:50,436
Downtown! If you want it!
If you--Only if you want it!
170
00:07:50,536 --> 00:07:52,688
You don't want it I can feel it.
You don't want it OK.
171
00:07:52,788 --> 00:07:54,857
That's right Nets.
172
00:07:54,957 --> 00:07:57,860
You're not gonna stop it.
Believe me we don't stop it in practice.
173
00:07:57,960 --> 00:07:58,945
- Let's do it!
- Come on come on come on!
174
00:07:59,045 --> 00:08:00,630
- Go!
- You got it.
175
00:08:01,380 --> 00:08:02,865
He tosses a three--
176
00:08:02,965 --> 00:08:04,283
And yes!
177
00:08:04,383 --> 00:08:06,369
- Wow! That was quite a shot.
- Pounce!
178
00:08:06,469 --> 00:08:08,387
- Oh man!
- Yeah!
179
00:08:11,807 --> 00:08:14,043
At halftime it's the Nets 62...
180
00:08:14,143 --> 00:08:15,811
Flint Tropics 43.
181
00:08:16,312 --> 00:08:18,506
All right, everybody,
let's hear it for Tropical time...
182
00:08:18,606 --> 00:08:20,733
and let's hear it for Busch Bavarian.
183
00:08:22,068 --> 00:08:26,472
If you're gonna drink a beer, you
might as well make it Busch Bavarian.
184
00:08:26,572 --> 00:08:29,225
Ladies and gentlemen
I want you to welcome this man...
185
00:08:29,325 --> 00:08:34,230
who's gonna attempt the impossible--
the $10,000 free throw...
186
00:08:34,330 --> 00:08:36,566
from the other side of the court.
The Moon shot.
187
00:08:36,666 --> 00:08:38,526
- Right on.
- All right. Tell everybody...
188
00:08:38,626 --> 00:08:40,903
- what's your name?
- Dukes.
189
00:08:41,003 --> 00:08:42,488
- All right Dukes.
- Dukes!
190
00:08:42,588 --> 00:08:44,574
- Dukes where ya from?
- Flint, Michigan...
191
00:08:44,674 --> 00:08:45,950
and I never missed a game!
192
00:08:46,050 --> 00:08:47,827
Go!
193
00:08:47,927 --> 00:08:49,579
Dukes is homegrown.
194
00:08:49,679 --> 00:08:52,081
I think you're on a little somethin'
that's homegrown maybe, huh?
195
00:08:52,181 --> 00:08:54,709
We're havin' fun.
196
00:08:54,809 --> 00:08:56,127
Dukes what do you do for a livin'?
197
00:08:56,227 --> 00:08:58,379
Um...
198
00:08:58,479 --> 00:08:59,422
nothin' right now.
199
00:08:59,522 --> 00:09:02,008
Layin' low. Playin' it right.
200
00:09:02,108 --> 00:09:04,343
What are you gonna do with all that money
if you win? Maybe buy a shirt?
201
00:09:04,443 --> 00:09:06,679
Yeah man a shirt.!
202
00:09:06,779 --> 00:09:08,472
Dukes is excited!
203
00:09:08,572 --> 00:09:09,765
So am I.
204
00:09:09,865 --> 00:09:12,727
Come on let's go people.
Let's get it goin'.
205
00:09:12,827 --> 00:09:16,939
Cheer this guy on
as he prepares for the impossible.
206
00:09:17,039 --> 00:09:19,442
Well, we've got
an especially dirty hippie here...
207
00:09:19,542 --> 00:09:21,611
down on the court tryin' to sink
an impossible shot.
208
00:09:21,711 --> 00:09:24,113
This is human drama at its best.
209
00:09:24,213 --> 00:09:27,617
He's just focusing taking a moment
to concentrate. That's OK.
210
00:09:27,717 --> 00:09:29,719
Concentrate all you want.
211
00:09:32,054 --> 00:09:34,415
- Come on Dukes!
- All right.
212
00:09:34,515 --> 00:09:36,667
Ohhhh--
213
00:09:36,767 --> 00:09:38,169
- No!
- Yes!
214
00:09:38,269 --> 00:09:40,146
Holy shit I'm a miracle!
215
00:09:43,190 --> 00:09:44,467
Yeah!
216
00:09:44,567 --> 00:09:46,636
Father Pat he stepped on the line.
He stepped on it.
217
00:09:46,736 --> 00:09:47,678
- No no it was legal.
- No, no...
218
00:09:47,778 --> 00:09:48,971
he stepped on the line
You were lookin' at it. Come on.
219
00:09:49,071 --> 00:09:50,264
Jackie he made the shot.
220
00:09:50,364 --> 00:09:52,266
Who the hell has $10000?
221
00:09:52,366 --> 00:09:54,060
Relax the beer company'll pay him.
222
00:09:54,160 --> 00:09:56,187
They're not really a sponsor
it just sounded professional.
223
00:09:56,287 --> 00:09:57,855
Look at this guy.
224
00:09:57,955 --> 00:10:00,191
He's so hopped up
on goofballs and grass...
225
00:10:00,291 --> 00:10:01,817
he's got no idea what's going on.
226
00:10:01,917 --> 00:10:05,071
Holy crap. Tropical!
227
00:10:05,171 --> 00:10:08,991
Hey congratulations to Dukes!
228
00:10:09,091 --> 00:10:11,327
He just won a giant check--
229
00:10:11,427 --> 00:10:14,747
that says $10000.
230
00:10:14,847 --> 00:10:16,457
Cool!
231
00:10:16,557 --> 00:10:18,834
Look at the size of that thing!
232
00:10:18,934 --> 00:10:20,419
Go have yourself a ball!
233
00:10:20,519 --> 00:10:23,297
Second half comin' up next!
234
00:10:23,397 --> 00:10:24,398
Damn it!
235
00:10:27,401 --> 00:10:29,069
- Hi
- Hello
236
00:10:30,321 --> 00:10:31,697
Dee, dee
237
00:10:34,658 --> 00:10:36,686
Get the funk outta my face
238
00:10:36,786 --> 00:10:39,522
Get the funk outta my face
239
00:10:39,622 --> 00:10:41,190
Get the funk outta my face
240
00:10:41,290 --> 00:10:44,026
Get the funk outta my face
241
00:10:44,126 --> 00:10:47,988
You don't like my music
you don't have to use it
242
00:10:48,088 --> 00:10:53,077
Funking is a thing
that all of us release
243
00:10:53,177 --> 00:10:54,704
You don't have to get it
244
00:10:54,804 --> 00:10:57,206
All you do is let it
245
00:10:57,306 --> 00:11:00,851
Then you'll know
exactly how to groove
246
00:11:09,068 --> 00:11:11,137
- Hey Jackie.
- Gerard.
247
00:11:11,237 --> 00:11:13,139
- How are the knees doing?
- Feeling great.
248
00:11:13,239 --> 00:11:14,890
- Excellent.
- Are you drunk?
249
00:11:14,990 --> 00:11:16,559
Very.
250
00:11:16,659 --> 00:11:20,563
Now he's back home doing 9 to 5
251
00:11:20,663 --> 00:11:24,191
Living his gray flannel life
252
00:11:24,291 --> 00:11:26,402
- Hey, Jackie.
- Hey guys everything good?
253
00:11:26,502 --> 00:11:28,487
- Keep the drinks flowin'.
- You got it.
254
00:11:28,587 --> 00:11:32,283
More more more
255
00:11:32,383 --> 00:11:34,869
Hey DJ! Where's the boogie?
256
00:11:34,969 --> 00:11:36,787
I already played your song four times!
257
00:11:36,887 --> 00:11:37,913
Paul get out.
258
00:11:38,013 --> 00:11:39,373
Jackie no!
259
00:11:39,473 --> 00:11:41,292
Jackie you can't keep doing this.
I'm the DJ!
260
00:11:41,392 --> 00:11:43,252
You gotta play it more than four times.
You know the rules.
261
00:11:43,352 --> 00:11:45,020
You're on snack patrol. Go.
262
00:11:51,026 --> 00:11:53,429
You're a sexy town Flint.
263
00:11:53,529 --> 00:11:54,989
Look at you I love it.
264
00:11:56,115 --> 00:11:58,893
I swear if this Plexiglass
wasn't dividing us right now...
265
00:11:58,993 --> 00:12:02,980
I'd make sweet tender love to each
and every one of you guys included.
266
00:12:03,080 --> 00:12:04,565
Yeah!
267
00:12:04,665 --> 00:12:05,608
Let me see a show of hands.
268
00:12:05,708 --> 00:12:07,860
Who's got their funky passport on 'em?
269
00:12:07,960 --> 00:12:09,445
Yeah. That's what I thought.
270
00:12:09,545 --> 00:12:12,823
'Cause we're about to enter
the nation of gyration.
271
00:12:12,923 --> 00:12:14,550
You're goin' on snack patrol Paul.
272
00:12:17,386 --> 00:12:21,040
Baby, who wants to love me sexy?
273
00:12:21,140 --> 00:12:23,709
I like it Jackie I like it yeah!
274
00:12:23,809 --> 00:12:26,712
But you know what? That wife
of yours has been making out...
275
00:12:26,812 --> 00:12:29,507
with that Mark Spitz-looking
motherfucker all night!
276
00:12:29,607 --> 00:12:32,092
Yeah that's OK. Stace and I
have an open relationship.
277
00:12:32,192 --> 00:12:34,303
Yeah I know that but look Jackie--
278
00:12:34,403 --> 00:12:37,640
he's about to suck on her damn titties
right here in front of all of these people!
279
00:12:37,740 --> 00:12:39,475
Well she's hot right?
280
00:12:39,575 --> 00:12:41,243
I mean we're freedom lovers.
281
00:12:42,286 --> 00:12:43,687
Hey! Hey!
282
00:12:43,787 --> 00:12:45,231
She's great.
283
00:12:45,331 --> 00:12:46,607
I'm not jealous!
284
00:12:46,707 --> 00:12:48,234
I mean it's a great deal for both of us.
285
00:12:48,334 --> 00:12:50,986
Yeah, but have you ever
slept with another woman?
286
00:12:51,086 --> 00:12:53,489
I could. I mean that's the beauty of it.
287
00:12:53,589 --> 00:12:55,491
No ball and chain here.
288
00:12:55,591 --> 00:12:57,827
And say I get asked to
come to an orgy right?
289
00:12:57,927 --> 00:12:59,537
I just do it.
290
00:12:59,637 --> 00:13:01,413
Jackie wait a minute.
291
00:13:01,513 --> 00:13:03,415
Have you ever been to an orgy?
292
00:13:03,515 --> 00:13:07,211
Are you crazy?
I just got back from an orgy.
293
00:13:07,311 --> 00:13:08,921
Some guy named Steve's house.
294
00:13:09,021 --> 00:13:11,048
I'm exhausted.
295
00:13:11,148 --> 00:13:14,510
I mean my wiener said to me
"Jackie, I've had enough...
296
00:13:14,610 --> 00:13:16,220
"of this orgy.
297
00:13:16,320 --> 00:13:19,014
"Put me back in your underwear."
298
00:13:19,114 --> 00:13:20,474
I'm tellin' ya man...
299
00:13:20,574 --> 00:13:23,102
that's the word on the street
and the shit is messed up.
300
00:13:23,202 --> 00:13:24,311
It's a dang shame.
301
00:13:24,411 --> 00:13:27,439
I can't go back to working
at that car wash. No.
302
00:13:27,539 --> 00:13:29,942
I know there's some team out there
that can use the services of...
303
00:13:30,042 --> 00:13:32,361
"Downtown Funky Stuff" Malone
you hear me?
304
00:13:32,461 --> 00:13:36,031
I dig you, brother, but I heard
the problem ain't just here in Flint.
305
00:13:36,131 --> 00:13:38,033
It's the whole league that's goin' under.
306
00:13:38,133 --> 00:13:39,743
Hey guys what's shakin'?
307
00:13:39,843 --> 00:13:41,745
What's shakin'?
Whole league goin' down...
308
00:13:41,845 --> 00:13:45,165
- that's what's shaking.
- Hold on.
309
00:13:45,265 --> 00:13:48,085
I don't know who you're talkin' to
but business is boomin'.
310
00:13:48,185 --> 00:13:52,464
Jackie come on man it's us.
You ain't got to jive us, man.
311
00:13:52,564 --> 00:13:54,258
I'm not jivin' you.
I've never jived you my whole life.
312
00:13:54,358 --> 00:13:57,136
Jackie come on you're jivin' us now
by sayin' you don't be jivin' us.
313
00:13:57,236 --> 00:13:58,888
OK well this time I'm tellin' the truth.
314
00:13:58,988 --> 00:14:00,890
Put it on Scootsie's Bible.
315
00:14:00,990 --> 00:14:02,266
There you go just touch it.
316
00:14:02,366 --> 00:14:05,561
No I'll do you even one better.
Look me in the eyes.
317
00:14:05,661 --> 00:14:07,162
OK?
318
00:14:10,332 --> 00:14:12,776
Now if I give you the lowdown on
somethin' can you keep a secret?
319
00:14:12,876 --> 00:14:14,069
- Yeah.
- Course.
320
00:14:14,169 --> 00:14:18,674
Tomorrow mornin', I'm drivin'
to Indianapolis for a league meeting--
321
00:14:20,551 --> 00:14:22,745
possibly talking...
322
00:14:22,845 --> 00:14:24,955
- merger.
- A m--A merger?
323
00:14:25,055 --> 00:14:27,041
Flint Tropics in the NBA.
324
00:14:27,141 --> 00:14:28,334
- The NBA?
- Us mergin'?
325
00:14:28,434 --> 00:14:30,920
I'm Jackie Moon,
I take care of you guys right?
326
00:14:31,020 --> 00:14:32,463
I mean you can just think of me
as Bambi's mother.
327
00:14:32,563 --> 00:14:34,757
I make sure nothing
bad'll happen to you.
328
00:14:34,857 --> 00:14:36,592
Drink up this is a big night.
329
00:14:36,692 --> 00:14:38,068
- Hey drinks on me.
- Big night.
330
00:14:39,194 --> 00:14:42,681
Bambi's mother got shot right?
331
00:14:42,781 --> 00:14:44,725
Yeah first scene.
332
00:14:44,825 --> 00:14:48,328
I remember that the credits
were still rollin' and everything.
333
00:14:50,706 --> 00:14:52,791
Who the fuck is Bambi?
334
00:15:05,471 --> 00:15:07,456
Merger. Merger.
335
00:15:07,556 --> 00:15:08,582
M--M--M--Merger.
336
00:15:08,682 --> 00:15:10,209
Jackie Moon. Jackie Moon.
337
00:15:10,309 --> 00:15:11,418
America.
338
00:15:11,518 --> 00:15:14,630
Let's go. Let's do this.
339
00:15:14,730 --> 00:15:16,799
Don't worry, Mom,
I won't let you down.
340
00:15:16,899 --> 00:15:18,734
I'll keep this team alive.
341
00:15:22,571 --> 00:15:26,058
And our TV stations are complaining
about all the fighting.
342
00:15:26,158 --> 00:15:30,562
Let's try to keep the fights in the tunnel
or out in the parking lot.
343
00:15:30,662 --> 00:15:33,691
We have one more
piece of business to go over.
344
00:15:33,791 --> 00:15:37,403
I'm sure you've all heard the rumors
and they are true...
345
00:15:37,503 --> 00:15:39,863
the ABA will be merging
with the NBA...
346
00:15:39,963 --> 00:15:42,032
at the end of this season.
347
00:15:42,132 --> 00:15:45,886
Yes. Yes.
348
00:15:47,846 --> 00:15:49,748
I did it.
349
00:15:49,848 --> 00:15:51,250
I'm a real owner.
350
00:15:51,350 --> 00:15:54,628
- Please Jackie let go.
- I did it.
351
00:15:54,728 --> 00:15:56,171
All right let's...
352
00:15:56,271 --> 00:15:57,589
not get too excited.
353
00:15:57,689 --> 00:15:59,842
Yes!
Give me ten Norton!
354
00:15:59,942 --> 00:16:01,593
Everyone can eat shit!
355
00:16:01,693 --> 00:16:04,805
A big bag of shit!
356
00:16:04,905 --> 00:16:07,407
I'm the greatest man in the world!
357
00:16:09,034 --> 00:16:11,645
The NBA has agreed
to our financial demands...
358
00:16:11,745 --> 00:16:13,272
- but there is something else--
- You were right Mom.
359
00:16:13,372 --> 00:16:14,398
Destiny.
360
00:16:14,498 --> 00:16:18,027
Oh, I'm so happy
I can't even feel my arms!
361
00:16:18,127 --> 00:16:19,987
OK Jackie listen to me. Jackie?
362
00:16:20,087 --> 00:16:21,780
- Hey Jackie?
- Yes?
363
00:16:21,880 --> 00:16:25,617
Four teams will be absorbed
into the NBA next year.
364
00:16:25,717 --> 00:16:27,578
The rest of the league
will terminate operations.
365
00:16:27,678 --> 00:16:30,164
Exactly. You know it.
366
00:16:30,264 --> 00:16:33,000
Wait.
Wait what did you say?
367
00:16:33,100 --> 00:16:36,378
The Nets, the Spurs,
the Pacers and the Nuggets...
368
00:16:36,478 --> 00:16:38,213
are gonna play in the NBA next season.
369
00:16:38,313 --> 00:16:41,050
- The rest of us are gonna dissolve.
- Dissolve?
370
00:16:41,150 --> 00:16:42,885
What's "dissolve"?
371
00:16:42,985 --> 00:16:45,237
Is that even a word?
372
00:16:45,946 --> 00:16:47,431
Yes it is a word...
373
00:16:47,531 --> 00:16:50,017
and financially it means
you'll cease to exist.
374
00:16:50,117 --> 00:16:51,602
Let's don't get emotional about it.
Just--
375
00:16:51,702 --> 00:16:53,162
No!
376
00:16:54,329 --> 00:16:55,647
No!
377
00:16:55,747 --> 00:16:57,357
OK.
378
00:16:57,457 --> 00:16:58,400
All right you're being--
379
00:16:58,500 --> 00:16:59,651
Well Jackie. Jackie--
380
00:16:59,751 --> 00:17:02,112
You--Don't bite yourself.
Come on.
381
00:17:02,212 --> 00:17:05,491
Jackie we agreed to a very large sum.
382
00:17:05,591 --> 00:17:08,118
I don't want a large sum OK?
383
00:17:08,218 --> 00:17:10,871
I want my team.
Come on you guys...
384
00:17:10,971 --> 00:17:14,308
you're not gonna just sit there
and take the money are you? Huh?
385
00:17:17,394 --> 00:17:19,463
What do the Nets have
that I don't have?!
386
00:17:19,563 --> 00:17:20,964
The Nets have a huge fan base.
387
00:17:21,064 --> 00:17:22,299
They got a brand-new stadium.
388
00:17:22,399 --> 00:17:25,235
Solid economic growth package
with great tax incentives.
389
00:17:27,905 --> 00:17:30,324
Oh come on Alan that's bullshit!
390
00:17:31,533 --> 00:17:33,519
The NBA's gonna
take four teams Jackie.
391
00:17:33,619 --> 00:17:34,912
This is a good deal.
392
00:17:40,417 --> 00:17:42,544
Best four teams should go.
393
00:17:44,504 --> 00:17:46,865
He's right.
The season isn't over yet.
394
00:17:46,965 --> 00:17:49,201
Hey, you know what? Yeah,
everybody should have a chance.
395
00:17:49,301 --> 00:17:50,452
That's the fairest way.
396
00:17:50,552 --> 00:17:52,621
Gee whiz...
397
00:17:52,721 --> 00:17:54,623
that sounds like so much fun...
398
00:17:54,723 --> 00:17:56,166
fair and all.
399
00:17:56,266 --> 00:17:57,960
But come on guys...
400
00:17:58,060 --> 00:18:00,170
I mean look at what
we're dealing with here.
401
00:18:00,270 --> 00:18:03,340
This guy plays power forward
for his own team, so--
402
00:18:03,440 --> 00:18:04,842
But he has a point.
403
00:18:04,942 --> 00:18:07,678
Why not make the terms of
a merger performance-based.
404
00:18:07,778 --> 00:18:08,720
- Exactly.
- Huh?
405
00:18:08,820 --> 00:18:09,847
- What he just said.
- Yeah.
406
00:18:09,947 --> 00:18:11,598
I move we vote
on the terms of the merger.
407
00:18:11,698 --> 00:18:13,392
- I second.
- And what he--what that guy said.
408
00:18:13,492 --> 00:18:14,810
But--What--What both those guys said.
409
00:18:14,910 --> 00:18:18,021
God damn it Bob! I'm about to reach
over there and tear you a new asshole!
410
00:18:18,121 --> 00:18:19,148
Don't be a jackass.
411
00:18:19,248 --> 00:18:21,108
- It makes sense.
- Fuck you Bob! We talked this out!
412
00:18:21,208 --> 00:18:22,693
I don't see a need
for that kinda language.
413
00:18:22,793 --> 00:18:24,361
Now if you wanna go outside
right now...
414
00:18:24,461 --> 00:18:27,114
I'll take both of you fuckers out
right damn now!
415
00:18:27,214 --> 00:18:28,574
We're not gonna fight
we're gonna vote!
416
00:18:28,674 --> 00:18:30,367
- Let's vote!
- Let's vote...
417
00:18:30,467 --> 00:18:31,702
and then we'll fight!
418
00:18:31,843 --> 00:18:33,704
Come on guys...
419
00:18:33,804 --> 00:18:35,664
you should be juiced right now.
420
00:18:35,764 --> 00:18:38,250
This is a chance to become
a real NBA franchise.
421
00:18:38,350 --> 00:18:39,585
Man get outta town.
422
00:18:39,685 --> 00:18:41,879
Ain't no way in Sam Hill
we gonna make it to fourth place.
423
00:18:41,979 --> 00:18:42,921
- Nope.
- Yeah Jackie...
424
00:18:43,021 --> 00:18:45,007
we have a horseshit record right now.
425
00:18:45,107 --> 00:18:47,926
Yeah well we just need to start
hittin' our threes OK?
426
00:18:48,026 --> 00:18:50,596
That's not the problem Jackie.
The problem is...
427
00:18:50,696 --> 00:18:52,072
we suck.
428
00:18:53,991 --> 00:18:55,726
Scootsie you did not deserve that.
429
00:18:55,826 --> 00:18:57,536
- I know.
- I apologize.
430
00:18:59,121 --> 00:19:00,397
Stop that shit man.
431
00:19:00,497 --> 00:19:03,650
We do not suck OK?
432
00:19:03,750 --> 00:19:06,195
I been doin' a lot of thinkin'.
433
00:19:06,295 --> 00:19:10,282
Decided to add someone to our team
to add some real firepower OK?
434
00:19:10,382 --> 00:19:12,743
I think this guy
could give us a new spark.
435
00:19:12,843 --> 00:19:14,469
Now don't get mad.
436
00:19:15,304 --> 00:19:17,080
- At point guard--
- At point guard?
437
00:19:17,180 --> 00:19:18,749
five-ten...
438
00:19:18,849 --> 00:19:21,376
I traded away our
washing machine to get him.
439
00:19:21,476 --> 00:19:23,420
He punches in bunches.
440
00:19:23,520 --> 00:19:26,481
Ed Monix!
441
00:19:28,734 --> 00:19:31,178
Toilet's clogged.
442
00:19:31,278 --> 00:19:34,014
Hell no.
You traded for Monix?
443
00:19:34,114 --> 00:19:35,557
Yeah.
444
00:19:35,657 --> 00:19:37,392
This guy's an old warrior come on.
445
00:19:37,492 --> 00:19:38,518
Yeah he old.
446
00:19:38,618 --> 00:19:40,687
He can shoot the basketball.
447
00:19:40,787 --> 00:19:42,773
Most importantly,
he actually agreed to come here.
448
00:19:42,873 --> 00:19:44,483
So?
449
00:19:44,583 --> 00:19:50,030
It's a thrill to be in Flint.
S--smells Tropical in here.
450
00:19:50,130 --> 00:19:52,658
Now, look, I know
just about everyone...
451
00:19:52,758 --> 00:19:55,202
in this locker room has been
punched in the face by this guy...
452
00:19:55,302 --> 00:19:56,411
at some point in time.
453
00:19:56,511 --> 00:19:58,705
And maybe even one of us has...
454
00:19:58,805 --> 00:20:02,334
had his collarbone broken... twice.
455
00:20:02,434 --> 00:20:03,543
Sorry Twig.
456
00:20:03,643 --> 00:20:05,087
Thanks Ed.
457
00:20:05,187 --> 00:20:07,422
Hey how are your mom and sister?
458
00:20:07,522 --> 00:20:10,092
It's been about 12 weeks
since I porked 'em.
459
00:20:10,192 --> 00:20:14,721
Let's not talk about porking
of the moms and the sisters...
460
00:20:14,821 --> 00:20:17,599
because we only have
one rule on this team.
461
00:20:17,699 --> 00:20:19,351
What is that rule Twiggy?
462
00:20:19,451 --> 00:20:20,435
E-L-E.
463
00:20:20,535 --> 00:20:22,187
That's right E-L-E.
464
00:20:22,287 --> 00:20:23,689
And what does "E-L-E" stand for?
465
00:20:23,789 --> 00:20:27,442
- "Everybody Love Everybody".
- "Everybody Love Everybody".
466
00:20:27,542 --> 00:20:28,986
Right there up on the wall.
467
00:20:29,086 --> 00:20:30,779
Got that Monix?
468
00:20:30,879 --> 00:20:32,197
- Nope.
- Great.
469
00:20:32,297 --> 00:20:34,491
'Cause this isn't just
a basketball team...
470
00:20:34,591 --> 00:20:37,035
this is a lifestyle.
471
00:20:37,135 --> 00:20:38,328
Welcome aboard Monix.
472
00:20:38,428 --> 00:20:39,663
Thank you.
Good to be here.
473
00:20:39,763 --> 00:20:41,540
All right.
474
00:20:41,640 --> 00:20:44,418
Oh if you see a possum...
475
00:20:44,518 --> 00:20:47,087
try to kill it OK?
476
00:20:47,187 --> 00:20:48,730
It's not a pet.
477
00:20:55,195 --> 00:20:56,888
Welcome back to Tropics Weekly.
478
00:20:56,988 --> 00:20:58,724
The ABA has announced...
479
00:20:58,824 --> 00:21:03,103
that the top four teams will merge
with the NBA after this season.
480
00:21:03,203 --> 00:21:04,146
Seizing the opportunity...
481
00:21:04,246 --> 00:21:08,567
owner/player/coach Jackie Moon
has already made the first move...
482
00:21:08,667 --> 00:21:11,153
acquiring Ed Monix
from the Kentucky Colonels.
483
00:21:11,253 --> 00:21:12,362
Yeah!
484
00:21:12,462 --> 00:21:14,031
I'm a pretty aggressive owner.
485
00:21:14,131 --> 00:21:17,617
When I heard Kentucky needed
a washing machine I looked at ours...
486
00:21:17,717 --> 00:21:19,453
even though we need ours.
487
00:21:19,553 --> 00:21:21,496
I said "I gotta pull the trigger on this."
488
00:21:21,596 --> 00:21:23,081
- Hey honey!
- It seemed appropriate.
489
00:21:23,181 --> 00:21:25,834
- Guess who got traded to Flint?
- Who?
490
00:21:25,934 --> 00:21:27,102
Monix!
491
00:21:28,770 --> 00:21:30,981
Why the hell would he
want to come to Flint?
492
00:21:32,315 --> 00:21:33,967
I have no idea.
493
00:21:34,067 --> 00:21:36,386
Who cares right? I mean--
494
00:21:36,486 --> 00:21:39,181
He's got an NBA ring
and he's playing for the Tropics.
495
00:21:39,281 --> 00:21:40,682
Can you believe that?
496
00:21:40,782 --> 00:21:42,951
No I can't.
497
00:21:45,120 --> 00:21:46,855
I'll get it.
498
00:21:46,955 --> 00:21:50,108
It's like if you watch a porn movie
doesn't mean you got laid.
499
00:21:50,208 --> 00:21:53,320
No no. In fact it--
it often means the opposite.
500
00:21:53,420 --> 00:21:56,031
Monix was an All-American
at Michigan State...
501
00:21:56,131 --> 00:21:57,199
then went on to--
502
00:21:57,299 --> 00:21:58,325
- Hey.
- Hey.
503
00:21:58,425 --> 00:21:59,368
You look great.
504
00:21:59,468 --> 00:22:00,469
Why are you here?
505
00:22:01,011 --> 00:22:04,039
Got traded. Yeah. Yeah.
506
00:22:04,139 --> 00:22:06,266
I--I mean why are you--you here?
507
00:22:07,642 --> 00:22:08,960
Can we talk?
508
00:22:09,060 --> 00:22:12,506
- Monix!
- Hey.
509
00:22:12,606 --> 00:22:13,548
- Oh what's up?
- Yeah.
510
00:22:13,648 --> 00:22:15,133
That ol' jump shot of yours
ain't broke yet, is it?
511
00:22:15,233 --> 00:22:16,843
Not yet.
512
00:22:16,943 --> 00:22:19,096
Oh man--Oh hey!
513
00:22:19,196 --> 00:22:20,138
Great backdoor cut...
514
00:22:20,238 --> 00:22:22,724
for the lay-up against the Amigos
last Friday night man.
515
00:22:22,824 --> 00:22:25,560
Yeah That's the way
basketball should be played!
516
00:22:25,660 --> 00:22:26,645
- Yeah.
- Up there.
517
00:22:26,745 --> 00:22:29,898
- Yeah--
- Too slow!
518
00:22:29,998 --> 00:22:31,858
Hey can you give us a second please?
519
00:22:31,958 --> 00:22:35,237
- Yeah no problem.
- Thanks, Kyle.
520
00:22:35,337 --> 00:22:37,489
Oh Monix!
521
00:22:37,589 --> 00:22:39,658
Why does your boyfriend like me
so much?
522
00:22:39,758 --> 00:22:41,535
You're his favorite player.
523
00:22:41,635 --> 00:22:43,787
I'd feel more comfortable
if he hated me.
524
00:22:43,887 --> 00:22:48,308
Listen I hope you didn't agree
to this trade because of me.
525
00:22:49,351 --> 00:22:51,670
What if I did?
526
00:22:51,770 --> 00:22:55,549
Then you'd be stuck
in Flint Michigan for no reason.
527
00:22:55,649 --> 00:22:56,591
You know what?
528
00:22:56,691 --> 00:22:58,593
You said you wanted to leave basketball
at the top of your game.
529
00:22:58,693 --> 00:22:59,761
When are you gonna quit?
530
00:22:59,861 --> 00:23:03,865
I'm at the top of my game.
I'm very close to the top.
531
00:23:07,452 --> 00:23:11,440
I just got traded for a fuckin' washing
machine. What am I talkin' about?
532
00:23:11,540 --> 00:23:13,250
Good night Ed.
533
00:23:16,086 --> 00:23:17,921
Thanks for the pep talk.
534
00:23:24,386 --> 00:23:28,039
Ed Monix is a tenacious defender
and he can hit the big shots.
535
00:23:28,139 --> 00:23:31,376
- When he's not drunk.
- Which is never.
536
00:23:31,476 --> 00:23:34,004
Look there's nothing in the rule book
that says you can't play drunk.
537
00:23:34,104 --> 00:23:35,422
No actually there is.
538
00:23:35,522 --> 00:23:37,466
Remember those 30 rebounds
against San Diego?
539
00:23:37,566 --> 00:23:39,468
- Yeah.
- I don't remember 'em.
540
00:23:39,568 --> 00:23:40,469
Oh no.
541
00:23:40,569 --> 00:23:42,095
- Amaretto stone sours.
- Yes.
542
00:23:42,195 --> 00:23:43,638
- I will never believe that.
- All game long.
543
00:23:43,738 --> 00:23:45,474
- No way.
- I mixed 'em!
544
00:23:45,574 --> 00:23:48,101
Doesn't leave the table.
545
00:23:48,201 --> 00:23:50,145
Look guys you ain't gotta worry.
546
00:23:50,245 --> 00:23:53,607
'Cause tomorrow when I get this cast
taken off I'll be back on the team...
547
00:23:53,707 --> 00:23:56,193
and I will be rainin' down some threes!
548
00:23:56,293 --> 00:23:59,905
Cornelius you're a good friend
but that arm hasn't properly healed...
549
00:24:00,005 --> 00:24:02,949
and I've told you 100 times
you're never gonna play for the Tropics.
550
00:24:03,049 --> 00:24:04,242
You're a terrible athlete.
551
00:24:04,342 --> 00:24:08,538
Come on man! I'm a excellent athlete.
Look I broke this arm playin' for you.
552
00:24:08,638 --> 00:24:11,708
No, you broke it
playing with me in the driveway.
553
00:24:11,808 --> 00:24:12,959
You can't even make a lay-up.
554
00:24:13,059 --> 00:24:15,337
I'm an injured player man.
I should be on the bench.
555
00:24:15,437 --> 00:24:17,214
No you're not on the team.
556
00:24:17,314 --> 00:24:19,674
Well in my fantasy life
I'm on the team.
557
00:24:19,774 --> 00:24:22,427
Well let's just keep it that way right?
558
00:24:22,527 --> 00:24:25,013
Oh my God. What the fuck is that?
It's incredible.
559
00:24:25,113 --> 00:24:26,473
It's called fondue.
560
00:24:26,573 --> 00:24:29,142
- Fon what?
- Fondue.
561
00:24:29,242 --> 00:24:33,188
Three different cheeses melted.
That's what you're tasting.
562
00:24:33,288 --> 00:24:35,774
Gorgonzola muenster and cottage.
563
00:24:35,874 --> 00:24:37,776
It's the latest thing
from Sweden apparently.
564
00:24:37,876 --> 00:24:41,112
Well, I'm not surprised by that.
The Swedes are so inventive aren't they?
565
00:24:41,212 --> 00:24:42,322
- Oh, they are.
- Yep.
566
00:24:42,422 --> 00:24:45,116
They are my favorite producers
of pornography.
567
00:24:45,216 --> 00:24:47,452
They make an excellent fuck picture.
568
00:24:47,552 --> 00:24:51,414
Well I think I'll excuse myself
from this conversation right now.
569
00:24:51,514 --> 00:24:53,375
- To the men's room.
- Oh, stop it!
570
00:24:53,475 --> 00:24:54,543
To make your wiener sing.
571
00:24:54,643 --> 00:24:56,586
Boner machine.
572
00:24:56,686 --> 00:24:58,380
I am not a boner machine now.
573
00:24:58,480 --> 00:25:00,340
Swedish porn saved my life in 'Nam.
574
00:25:00,440 --> 00:25:01,925
- OK.
- Great here we go.
575
00:25:02,025 --> 00:25:04,219
- Come on! Fuck you guys!
- Let me get my violin.
576
00:25:04,319 --> 00:25:05,220
Swedish porn was the only thing...
577
00:25:05,320 --> 00:25:07,389
that kept my mind off Charlie
when I was in the shit.
578
00:25:07,489 --> 00:25:10,684
Is the shit in Ann Arbor? 'Cause
that's where you were during the war.
579
00:25:10,784 --> 00:25:13,061
- He really believes it.
- You were never in 'Nam--
580
00:25:13,161 --> 00:25:14,913
- Nope.
- you jive turkey.
581
00:25:27,550 --> 00:25:29,094
You just call me a jive turkey?
582
00:25:31,221 --> 00:25:33,331
No. No he did not.
583
00:25:33,431 --> 00:25:37,586
- He called you cocksucker.
- Yeah.
584
00:25:37,686 --> 00:25:38,712
- Yeah.
- Right--Right Cornelius?
585
00:25:38,812 --> 00:25:40,589
Yeah, yeah.
I just called you cocksucker.
586
00:25:40,689 --> 00:25:43,174
I'm pretty sure that
you called me a jive turkey.
587
00:25:43,274 --> 00:25:47,429
No, no. Now, Lou,
nobody called anyone a JT.
588
00:25:47,529 --> 00:25:49,931
Jive turkey is a little over the line
my man!
589
00:25:50,031 --> 00:25:51,433
Look we're all here.
590
00:25:51,533 --> 00:25:53,768
We all heard what was said
and we're in agreement.
591
00:25:53,868 --> 00:25:55,729
- Cornelius said cocksucker.
- Yes.
592
00:25:55,829 --> 00:25:56,771
- Right?
- Yeah.
593
00:25:56,871 --> 00:26:00,442
- He just said you suck cock.
- That's all he said about you.
594
00:26:00,542 --> 00:26:03,920
Now come on. Dig into that fondue
you little cocksucker.
595
00:26:05,630 --> 00:26:08,133
- We like playing games, don't we?
- We do we're playing one right now!
596
00:26:11,177 --> 00:26:12,329
I'm gonna show you guys
this game that I learned...
597
00:26:12,429 --> 00:26:14,956
- when I was in fucking 'Nam!
- Oh no no no no!
598
00:26:15,056 --> 00:26:16,416
Lou. Lou.
599
00:26:16,516 --> 00:26:18,685
Who's the jive turkey now?
600
00:26:24,232 --> 00:26:26,426
Gun's not loaded!
601
00:26:26,526 --> 00:26:29,929
- You son of a bitch!
- It's not loaded! It's not loaded!
602
00:26:30,029 --> 00:26:33,099
You shoulda seen your goddamn face!
603
00:26:33,199 --> 00:26:35,685
Oh there's no bullets in there!
I never load it!
604
00:26:35,785 --> 00:26:38,496
The gun was not loaded.
605
00:26:39,581 --> 00:26:41,499
I'll see you fuckers in hell!
606
00:26:45,962 --> 00:26:48,757
Jackie, Love Me Sexy
is the worst song I've ever heard.
607
00:26:52,302 --> 00:26:55,246
Watch this! I did call you jive turkey.
608
00:26:55,346 --> 00:26:56,890
He did!
609
00:26:58,850 --> 00:27:02,504
I got one. Hey, Lou, I know
you slept with Mrs. Pepperfield!
610
00:27:02,604 --> 00:27:04,397
Grrr!
611
00:27:05,523 --> 00:27:08,301
We're saying nutty things
'cause they're not true.
612
00:27:08,401 --> 00:27:11,179
- My! Yeah.
- Especially that. More than the rest.
613
00:27:11,279 --> 00:27:13,932
- He's jonesing you.
- It never happened.
614
00:27:14,032 --> 00:27:15,892
- Hey. Bond.
- She's not ugly.
615
00:27:15,992 --> 00:27:18,311
- James Bond. Huh?
- Oh there it is.
616
00:27:18,411 --> 00:27:21,690
- How do you like your martini sir?
- Stirred, in--in a half-carafe.
617
00:27:21,790 --> 00:27:23,208
Wow.
618
00:27:25,251 --> 00:27:27,253
- He shoots himself.
- He shoots himself in the wiener.
619
00:27:36,471 --> 00:27:38,373
- Everybody OK?
- I think so.
620
00:27:38,473 --> 00:27:40,041
- Yeah.
- I'm fine.
621
00:27:40,141 --> 00:27:42,252
Wow!
622
00:27:42,352 --> 00:27:45,380
We just literally dodged a bullet.
623
00:27:45,480 --> 00:27:48,007
We sure did!
624
00:27:48,107 --> 00:27:49,734
- We certainly--
- Except for Cornelius.
625
00:27:51,653 --> 00:27:54,864
Oh ho ho. I did get shot!
626
00:27:56,991 --> 00:27:58,993
- Oh my God.
- Wow!
627
00:28:11,506 --> 00:28:15,410
Short people got no reason
628
00:28:15,510 --> 00:28:19,414
Short people got no reason
629
00:28:19,514 --> 00:28:23,543
Short people got no reason to live
630
00:28:23,643 --> 00:28:25,420
Come on everyone! Yeah!
631
00:28:25,520 --> 00:28:28,173
- What do they got Bobby?
- They got little hands
632
00:28:28,273 --> 00:28:29,424
Yeah little hands.
633
00:28:29,524 --> 00:28:31,551
- Little eyes
- Little eyes
634
00:28:31,651 --> 00:28:34,596
- Walk around telling great big lies
- Great big lies
635
00:28:34,696 --> 00:28:36,806
They got little noses
636
00:28:36,906 --> 00:28:39,309
- And tiny little teeth
- Tiny little teeth!
637
00:28:39,409 --> 00:28:42,312
Platform shoes on their nasty little feet
638
00:28:42,412 --> 00:28:46,441
- Well I don't want no short people
- Let's go, Tropics!
639
00:28:46,541 --> 00:28:50,195
- I hate 'em. I don't want no short people!
- I don't want no short people
640
00:28:50,295 --> 00:28:52,030
I'm talking about you Scootsie!
641
00:28:52,130 --> 00:28:54,491
I'm just kidding man you're not that
short.
642
00:28:54,591 --> 00:28:55,909
You're the best.
643
00:28:56,009 --> 00:28:57,552
I'm exaggerating.
644
00:28:58,469 --> 00:29:00,246
Vakidis open the window will ya?
645
00:29:00,346 --> 00:29:01,639
Yes right on.
646
00:29:03,725 --> 00:29:05,502
Did you give Bobby Dee a hand job?
647
00:29:05,602 --> 00:29:07,395
Yes right on.
648
00:29:07,770 --> 00:29:11,383
Oh, yeah
649
00:29:12,483 --> 00:29:14,427
Hey Jackie it's your wife!
650
00:29:14,527 --> 00:29:16,179
Hey Stacey! Hey honey!
651
00:29:16,279 --> 00:29:18,181
Oh hey lady.
652
00:29:18,281 --> 00:29:21,267
- Mr. Big Stuff
- Hi!
653
00:29:21,367 --> 00:29:23,019
You're never gonna get my love
654
00:29:23,119 --> 00:29:24,646
My God would you look at those?
655
00:29:24,746 --> 00:29:26,856
Yes I will.
656
00:29:26,956 --> 00:29:29,250
!
657
00:29:31,419 --> 00:29:33,822
That's what I'm
talking about, baby.
658
00:29:33,922 --> 00:29:35,532
- Yes!
- Slow down!
659
00:29:35,632 --> 00:29:38,159
Bye baby I love you.
660
00:29:38,259 --> 00:29:39,619
- Say Jackie.
- Yeah.
661
00:29:39,719 --> 00:29:42,247
Have you ever even
slept with your wife, man?
662
00:29:42,347 --> 00:29:46,501
Are you kidding me? Come on.
Yeah like every weekend.
663
00:29:46,601 --> 00:29:48,878
- And it's hot!
- Yeah I believe you.
664
00:29:48,978 --> 00:29:51,105
I believe you lying.
665
00:29:56,277 --> 00:29:57,929
Hey Monix...
666
00:29:58,029 --> 00:29:59,889
what were the Celtics like?
667
00:29:59,989 --> 00:30:01,641
Well they were fast.
668
00:30:01,741 --> 00:30:05,103
Fast? Man. Clarence should play
for the Celtics then. That boy can fly.
669
00:30:05,203 --> 00:30:06,896
Downtown,
that's all he ever talk about.
670
00:30:06,996 --> 00:30:09,107
"I'm goin' to the NBA, I'm goin'
to the NBA." Every day he say that.
671
00:30:09,207 --> 00:30:11,568
No, I don't.
Why don't you just shut up man?
672
00:30:11,668 --> 00:30:15,405
Say Monix why don't you let us
see that championship ring, m
673
00:30:15,505 --> 00:30:16,823
Don't think nobody here ever seen...
674
00:30:16,923 --> 00:30:18,449
a championship ring before.
675
00:30:18,549 --> 00:30:19,659
- All right.
- Yes sir.
676
00:30:19,759 --> 00:30:21,369
- Yes!
- Yo man let me see it!
677
00:30:21,469 --> 00:30:23,830
Holy balls.
678
00:30:23,930 --> 00:30:26,708
Oh my God look at this right here.
"Champion" in sparkling gold.
679
00:30:26,808 --> 00:30:28,543
Man why are you wearing that
on your neck?
680
00:30:28,643 --> 00:30:30,837
If I had a ring like that
I'd have it on my finger every day...
681
00:30:30,937 --> 00:30:32,881
so the honeys could see it.
682
00:30:32,981 --> 00:30:34,632
I'm not quite as flashy as you.
683
00:30:34,732 --> 00:30:37,260
I just like wearing it
around my neck that's all.
684
00:30:37,360 --> 00:30:38,970
- That's cool man.
- I hear that.
685
00:30:39,070 --> 00:30:41,489
He should be embarrassed.
686
00:30:42,907 --> 00:30:44,976
Embarrassed?
687
00:30:45,076 --> 00:30:47,979
He sat through every playoff game.
688
00:30:48,079 --> 00:30:50,815
Then he gonna walk around us
with all the shine...
689
00:30:50,915 --> 00:30:52,901
like he some kind of hero or somethin'.
690
00:30:53,001 --> 00:30:55,862
Oh come on Clarence.
You're just actin' jealous.
691
00:30:55,962 --> 00:31:02,243
Whatever. I ain't never rode the bench
and then go call myself a champion.
692
00:31:02,343 --> 00:31:06,039
Somebody need to snatch that ring
off his sorry neck.
693
00:31:06,139 --> 00:31:07,582
- You wanna snatch it? Come on.
- I--
694
00:31:07,682 --> 00:31:09,751
- Be my guest.
- I don't think your knees can take it.
695
00:31:09,851 --> 00:31:13,563
Hey! Hey I got a ring up here too.
Mine says love.
696
00:31:15,773 --> 00:31:17,275
Think about that.
697
00:31:19,694 --> 00:31:22,472
Everybody love everybody!
698
00:31:22,572 --> 00:31:24,098
Come on!
699
00:31:24,198 --> 00:31:26,451
Eleven more hours to go.
700
00:31:30,705 --> 00:31:32,440
Another easy basket
for the Spirits.
701
00:31:32,540 --> 00:31:34,542
Tropics with the ball.
702
00:31:36,169 --> 00:31:37,946
Hey honey!
703
00:31:38,046 --> 00:31:40,990
Jackie Moon waving to the fans
as he makes his way down the court.
704
00:31:41,090 --> 00:31:42,200
Keep it alive right here!
Throw it in the blender.
705
00:31:42,300 --> 00:31:43,242
He truly is a showman.
706
00:31:43,342 --> 00:31:44,577
No! Changed my mind.
Right back, though.
707
00:31:44,677 --> 00:31:46,537
- OK. OK.
- Right back to you. Give it back again!
708
00:31:46,637 --> 00:31:47,956
- You got it.
- No right back.
709
00:31:48,056 --> 00:31:49,499
- No?
- Yeah. Yeah.
710
00:31:49,599 --> 00:31:52,210
- Sure?
- Yeah. Right back. Come on now. No.
711
00:31:52,310 --> 00:31:54,045
Right back reset.
Throw it to Papa.
712
00:31:54,145 --> 00:31:55,129
- No right back out.
- All right.
713
00:31:55,229 --> 00:31:56,673
- Right back. Right back.
- Here you go, Jackie.
714
00:31:56,773 --> 00:31:57,966
- Back to you. Right back though.
- You're right. OK.
715
00:31:58,066 --> 00:31:59,008
Shoot!
716
00:31:59,108 --> 00:32:00,218
- All right right on.
- Clear. Yeah.
717
00:32:00,318 --> 00:32:01,678
- You ready?
- No right back.
718
00:32:01,778 --> 00:32:03,179
- No?
- Yeah. OK clear.
719
00:32:03,279 --> 00:32:04,222
- All right I'm goin'.
- My turn.
720
00:32:04,322 --> 00:32:06,599
Yeah I'll bet my alleged son
he won't make this.
721
00:32:06,699 --> 00:32:08,810
Jackie Moon
finally making a move...
722
00:32:08,910 --> 00:32:11,688
- and it is worth the wait!
- All day long!
723
00:32:11,788 --> 00:32:12,730
Way to go Jackie!
724
00:32:12,830 --> 00:32:14,816
- Traveling!
- No no no no! One and a half steps!
725
00:32:14,916 --> 00:32:19,837
- Come on, Jackie. You walked.
- Suck my cock! I'll murder your family!
726
00:32:21,047 --> 00:32:22,281
- You're gone Jackie Moon!
- What? What?
727
00:32:22,381 --> 00:32:24,826
- Jackie Moon is ejected from the game.
728
00:32:24,926 --> 00:32:27,136
- What did I say?
- You said "S my C ."
729
00:32:29,722 --> 00:32:32,709
And one lucky fan
will go home with a game ball.
730
00:32:32,809 --> 00:32:33,918
That's your head next time.
731
00:32:34,018 --> 00:32:35,294
You're a big baby Jackie.
You cannot tell me to S my C.
732
00:32:35,394 --> 00:32:37,422
Jackie Moon and the referee
really going at it here.
733
00:32:37,522 --> 00:32:39,382
- I didn't say anything.
- You said "S my C ."
734
00:32:39,482 --> 00:32:41,592
- I barely raised my voice.
- I should call your mother.
735
00:32:41,692 --> 00:32:43,928
You need a phone to heaven to do that.
736
00:32:44,028 --> 00:32:45,972
- Maybe your ma didn't go to heaven.
- Oh dear.
737
00:32:46,072 --> 00:32:48,699
Oh my. Oh no.
738
00:32:49,617 --> 00:32:51,561
OK. Everyone off the floor.
Let's go. Tropics, let's go.
739
00:32:51,661 --> 00:32:52,812
Why--No Jackie.
740
00:32:52,912 --> 00:32:56,441
It appears a line has been crossed
by Father Pat of all people.
741
00:32:56,541 --> 00:32:58,776
- Look Jackie I'm sorry.
- Stop the broadcast.
742
00:32:58,876 --> 00:33:02,613
Jackie Moon is pulling his team
off the court.
743
00:33:02,713 --> 00:33:04,699
You forfeit this game Jackie
if you keep walking.
744
00:33:04,799 --> 00:33:08,411
- That's fine.
- You threatened to kill my family!
745
00:33:08,511 --> 00:33:10,413
God damn it, Pat.
What the hell's wrong with you?
746
00:33:10,513 --> 00:33:12,081
Don't get on your high horse Redwood.
747
00:33:12,181 --> 00:33:14,333
You've got a lot of demons yourself.
748
00:33:14,433 --> 00:33:15,376
Thank you for staying Dick.
749
00:33:15,476 --> 00:33:16,711
No I am leaving.
750
00:33:16,811 --> 00:33:18,087
I've thrown to commercial.
751
00:33:18,187 --> 00:33:21,007
I have to be back in about 30 seconds
or so but this is symbolic.
752
00:33:21,107 --> 00:33:22,383
We go to church together.
753
00:33:22,483 --> 00:33:23,384
Not anymore.
754
00:33:23,484 --> 00:33:26,054
Hey Flint Tropics welcome back
755
00:33:26,154 --> 00:33:28,573
- Give the Amigos a heart attack
- I tried Jackie.
756
00:33:29,198 --> 00:33:30,641
They won't take it.
757
00:33:30,741 --> 00:33:32,852
Look, I--I don't know
what your bank is telling you.
758
00:33:32,952 --> 00:33:35,146
This is a real check.
I signed it myself.
759
00:33:35,246 --> 00:33:37,440
It's written in glitter man.
760
00:33:37,540 --> 00:33:41,569
Can't you just you know like
write me a regular-size check?
761
00:33:41,669 --> 00:33:44,572
Maybe you should try a different bank.
A big bank.
762
00:33:44,672 --> 00:33:46,824
- Bigger bank?
- That has a big check department.
763
00:33:46,924 --> 00:33:48,451
- That's what I'd do.
- OK.
764
00:33:48,551 --> 00:33:50,161
- Right? All right.
- Yeah.
765
00:33:50,303 --> 00:33:52,497
Scootsie he is takin' you to town!
766
00:33:52,597 --> 00:33:54,640
Get him Twig. C'mon!
767
00:33:56,726 --> 00:33:57,668
There we go.
768
00:33:57,768 --> 00:33:59,796
- All right guys. Hey listen up.
- Hey hey.
769
00:33:59,896 --> 00:34:03,941
Let's go. Eyes up here.
Turn that contraption off. Come on.
770
00:34:04,525 --> 00:34:07,178
Look just got off the phone
with the Commissioner.
771
00:34:07,278 --> 00:34:10,014
He convinced the board
to pass another merger rule.
772
00:34:10,114 --> 00:34:13,659
We gotta average 2,000 fans per
home game for the rest of the season.
773
00:34:14,785 --> 00:34:16,395
- Two thou every home game?
- Damn. What?
774
00:34:16,495 --> 00:34:19,607
Commissioner says they're not gonna
take a franchise that doesn't have fans.
775
00:34:19,707 --> 00:34:22,443
- He's being a real dick.
- Good Lord Jackie Moon.
776
00:34:22,543 --> 00:34:28,199
Winning these games is gonna be hard
but 2000 fans? Impossible man.
777
00:34:28,299 --> 00:34:31,327
It's OK, Scootsie.
'Cause I got a plan. All right?
778
00:34:31,427 --> 00:34:34,288
Now, you all know
we're the ABA game of the week right?
779
00:34:34,388 --> 00:34:38,000
Could be a lot of television cameras
out there, so we just gotta be tiptop.
780
00:34:38,100 --> 00:34:39,836
So what's the plan?
781
00:34:39,936 --> 00:34:41,254
I brought a secret weapon.
782
00:34:41,354 --> 00:34:43,506
It's gonna make us
look extra cool on TV.
783
00:34:43,606 --> 00:34:45,216
What the hell is that?
784
00:34:45,316 --> 00:34:47,568
It's eyeliner dummy.
785
00:34:48,277 --> 00:34:50,071
Now who's first? Monix?
786
00:34:50,988 --> 00:34:55,409
Oh yeah. Just let me get a fresh Maxi Pad
out of my purse.
787
00:34:56,869 --> 00:35:01,123
Looks like Jackie Moon has brought a
trick from Broadway to the court tonight.
788
00:35:02,750 --> 00:35:04,527
Trap trap trap trap trap.
789
00:35:04,627 --> 00:35:05,778
Point of no return.
Go back. Go back.
790
00:35:05,878 --> 00:35:07,697
Horse in the trailer.
Nowhere to go.
791
00:35:07,797 --> 00:35:09,866
Hey. Look at my eyes.
No look at my eyes.
792
00:35:09,966 --> 00:35:12,493
Are you scared? Tropical storm.
Eye of the hurricane.
793
00:35:12,593 --> 00:35:15,246
I'm gonna hypnotize you.
I'm not gonna blink. I'm not gonna blink.
794
00:35:15,346 --> 00:35:17,957
- Look at me.
- Where you goin'? Where you goin'?
795
00:35:18,057 --> 00:35:19,500
Jackie tips the ball away.
796
00:35:19,600 --> 00:35:21,127
Twiggy picks it up and takes it in.
797
00:35:21,227 --> 00:35:24,005
- Two points, Tropics.
- Way to go Twiggy!
798
00:35:24,105 --> 00:35:25,882
Make sure the camera gets your eyes!
799
00:35:25,982 --> 00:35:27,175
This team is on fire--
800
00:35:27,275 --> 00:35:28,718
early in the game.
801
00:35:28,818 --> 00:35:29,886
Oh they're flaming all right.
802
00:35:29,986 --> 00:35:32,847
Nice lay-up.
Nice lay-up Twiggy huh?
803
00:35:32,947 --> 00:35:35,808
- Who's got character now?
- My confidence is sky-high right now.
804
00:35:38,411 --> 00:35:40,938
What's with Vakidis?
805
00:35:41,038 --> 00:35:43,191
- What the hell's wrong with Vakidis?
- I don't know man.
806
00:35:43,291 --> 00:35:46,152
Oh shit! Your eyeliner's running.
807
00:35:46,252 --> 00:35:48,487
Oh yeah. Yours is kinda smoky too.
808
00:35:48,587 --> 00:35:49,822
All right everyone.
Try not to sweat if you can.
809
00:35:49,922 --> 00:35:51,866
Hell no. This--this shit
burnin' already, man.
810
00:35:51,966 --> 00:35:53,534
- Yeah it kinda is.
- Goddamn.
811
00:35:53,634 --> 00:35:55,119
I'm going to the bench man. Move!
812
00:35:55,219 --> 00:35:56,204
- What's happening?
- Shit!
813
00:35:56,304 --> 00:35:58,331
The Tropics seem to be
disabled in some way.
814
00:35:58,431 --> 00:36:00,541
God it burns.
815
00:36:00,641 --> 00:36:03,711
Do they test this on animals
or is that just a lie?
816
00:36:03,811 --> 00:36:05,755
Feels like I got cat piss in my eyes!
817
00:36:05,855 --> 00:36:07,840
Just open your eyes with your fingers
guys. It's really nice.
818
00:36:07,940 --> 00:36:09,425
Cock sandwich that hurts!
819
00:36:09,525 --> 00:36:10,760
- Fuckin' idiots.
- That feels really good.
820
00:36:10,860 --> 00:36:13,387
Monix where's your makeup
huh buddy?
821
00:36:13,487 --> 00:36:16,724
Hey how come it says Monix on
your jersey when your name's Pussy?
822
00:36:16,824 --> 00:36:18,726
- I was curious about this--
- Fuck you, Petrelli.
823
00:36:18,826 --> 00:36:20,978
- Hey, hey, Monix!
- Get your hands off me!
824
00:36:21,078 --> 00:36:24,106
- Get back here! You little bitch!
- We're on TV!
825
00:36:24,206 --> 00:36:26,776
- I don't give a shit!
- Commissioner's watching.
826
00:36:26,876 --> 00:36:29,904
- You wanna kill the merger? C'mon.
- Everybody relax.
827
00:36:30,004 --> 00:36:32,740
Looks like a little gentleman's
disagreement on the court. Nothing big.
828
00:36:32,840 --> 00:36:34,242
No these girls aren't gonna fight.
829
00:36:34,342 --> 00:36:37,161
No but a little bit of a delay
in play for a moment here.
830
00:36:37,261 --> 00:36:39,872
What about during commercial?
831
00:36:39,972 --> 00:36:42,708
Yeah I like it. Yeah it's good.
832
00:36:42,808 --> 00:36:46,170
- Father Pat, timeout.
- Timeout white!
833
00:36:46,270 --> 00:36:49,924
It's a timeout on the floor with 9 minutes
and 16 seconds left in the first.
834
00:36:50,024 --> 00:36:51,592
The Tropics two the Amigos six.
835
00:36:51,692 --> 00:36:55,054
And we'll be right back
after these messages from Shasta.
836
00:36:55,154 --> 00:36:56,639
And clear.
837
00:36:56,739 --> 00:36:58,140
Somebody hit somebody!
838
00:37:01,327 --> 00:37:03,287
Oh here we go.
839
00:37:05,247 --> 00:37:07,275
- Come on!
- Get him!
840
00:37:07,375 --> 00:37:11,445
This is a good old-fashioned
bare-fisted brawl here on the court.
841
00:37:11,545 --> 00:37:13,589
My goodness.
842
00:37:14,590 --> 00:37:17,994
Look at the Russian bear go.
Throwing people around like rag dolls.
843
00:37:18,094 --> 00:37:22,748
Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?
844
00:37:22,848 --> 00:37:25,668
Oh, look at Monix take it to Petrelli.
I wish the people at home could see this.
845
00:37:25,768 --> 00:37:26,711
I could hurt someone.
846
00:37:26,811 --> 00:37:30,798
New Red Apple Soda with a great
taste and tingle they're still looking for.
847
00:37:30,898 --> 00:37:33,301
Why can't we be friends?
848
00:37:33,401 --> 00:37:35,344
Why can't we be friends?
849
00:37:35,444 --> 00:37:38,264
- Why can't we be friends?
- Get him! Get him!
850
00:37:38,364 --> 00:37:40,891
Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?
851
00:37:40,991 --> 00:37:44,312
Honestly Dick I could watch this all day.
This is terr--Oh, look at Father Pat!
852
00:37:44,412 --> 00:37:46,480
Father Pat is getting
the worst of a lot of this.
853
00:37:46,580 --> 00:37:48,149
Stop!
854
00:37:48,249 --> 00:37:50,067
- Why can't we be friends?
- And we're back in three--
855
00:37:50,167 --> 00:37:52,837
- Why can't we be friends?
- two one...
856
00:37:53,838 --> 00:37:56,407
Welcome back
to your ABA game of the week.
857
00:37:56,507 --> 00:37:58,451
I'll tell you, the spirit
and camaraderie of this league...
858
00:37:58,551 --> 00:38:00,578
is on full display here tonight Lou.
859
00:38:00,678 --> 00:38:03,539
Yeah yeah you got that right Dick.
860
00:38:03,639 --> 00:38:04,640
Lou!
861
00:38:05,516 --> 00:38:07,293
Scoreboard's
not looking good guys.
862
00:38:07,393 --> 00:38:09,712
Think it's time for us to make
some serious adjustments.
863
00:38:09,812 --> 00:38:11,313
Here's the chalk Coach.
864
00:38:16,360 --> 00:38:20,514
Huh? That's right.
That's how frustrated I am.
865
00:38:20,614 --> 00:38:24,143
OK? I can stand here and I can talk
X's and O's all day long...
866
00:38:24,243 --> 00:38:26,395
but this is about something else.
867
00:38:26,495 --> 00:38:28,038
We're not playing Tropical.
868
00:38:28,998 --> 00:38:30,649
We're playing tight.
869
00:38:30,749 --> 00:38:34,028
I mean if we just open up our hearts
and let our passion come out...
870
00:38:34,128 --> 00:38:35,963
we can do anything.
871
00:38:36,797 --> 00:38:38,616
You ready?
872
00:38:38,716 --> 00:38:41,469
Now my wife has volunteered
to bring our passion out.
873
00:38:42,678 --> 00:38:46,207
Hello lady luck
let negative static be gone.
874
00:38:46,307 --> 00:38:49,377
Baby, who wants to love me sexy?
875
00:38:49,477 --> 00:38:52,296
Hello Stacey Moon!
876
00:38:52,396 --> 00:38:54,048
- Hey boys.
- Oh yeah.
877
00:38:54,148 --> 00:38:56,217
All right.
878
00:38:56,317 --> 00:38:58,052
- Lick me sexy
- Can you feel it?
879
00:38:58,152 --> 00:39:00,888
- Already a different locker room.
- Just like that.
880
00:39:00,988 --> 00:39:03,199
There it goes.
881
00:39:04,158 --> 00:39:05,851
Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife.
882
00:39:05,951 --> 00:39:07,645
This is the best idea I've ever had.
883
00:39:07,745 --> 00:39:09,063
Great work Stacey.
884
00:39:09,163 --> 00:39:11,749
Oh Twiggy welcome to the big city.
885
00:39:13,083 --> 00:39:14,402
Jackie I don't--I don't know
about this, Jackie.
886
00:39:14,502 --> 00:39:15,444
Damn.
887
00:39:15,544 --> 00:39:16,987
Believe it! This is happening!
888
00:39:17,087 --> 00:39:19,298
- Downtown.
- Yeah.
889
00:39:19,882 --> 00:39:21,659
Yeah you can call me Downtown.
890
00:39:21,759 --> 00:39:25,704
Nice jumpin' joint!
891
00:39:25,804 --> 00:39:28,682
Pep talk! All right.
What team's in a rut now?
892
00:39:29,725 --> 00:39:33,354
Not the Tropics anymore no sirree.
We got strong--
893
00:39:34,855 --> 00:39:36,424
Jesus this guy's a bummer.
894
00:39:36,524 --> 00:39:38,801
Does anybody here wanna talk
about the fucking game?
895
00:39:38,901 --> 00:39:40,928
Hey. Watch your language.
Not in front of my wife.
896
00:39:41,028 --> 00:39:43,597
Sorry Mrs. Moon.
897
00:39:43,697 --> 00:39:47,726
Come on, man. Trying to bring the love
into the room and all you do is complain.
898
00:39:47,826 --> 00:39:50,955
My wife is standing here naked.
What more do you want me to do?
899
00:39:52,039 --> 00:39:54,775
Listen Jackie th--there is
no shortcut to winning.
900
00:39:54,875 --> 00:39:57,403
You can't buy it you can't pray for it...
901
00:39:57,503 --> 00:40:02,074
and you can't stare at your wife's ass
and start hitting three-pointers.
902
00:40:02,174 --> 00:40:05,244
We need a game plan Jackie.
903
00:40:05,344 --> 00:40:08,080
So he the expert. He should know.
904
00:40:08,180 --> 00:40:09,665
He done seen the game
from every angle...
905
00:40:09,765 --> 00:40:11,125
- sittin' on the bench.
- Damn!
906
00:40:11,225 --> 00:40:15,421
Hey, guess what? The Celtics weren't
just all-stars, they were a team. A team!
907
00:40:15,521 --> 00:40:19,884
As opposed to a bunch of selfish
assholes tryin' to look cool every night.
908
00:40:19,984 --> 00:40:21,594
I mean call us what you want to...
909
00:40:21,694 --> 00:40:25,181
but we ain't never sat around
and pretended like we some champions.
910
00:40:25,281 --> 00:40:31,954
Yeah you got a little ring and all
but you personally you ain't won shit.
911
00:40:35,291 --> 00:40:37,193
Clarence I want you to have this ring...
912
00:40:37,293 --> 00:40:41,614
as a token
of what you will never achieve.
913
00:40:41,714 --> 00:40:44,658
Champion or not,
at least I played the game.
914
00:40:44,758 --> 00:40:46,535
And I got news for you Clarence...
915
00:40:46,635 --> 00:40:50,498
for all your flash
you are never gonna play in the NBA.
916
00:40:50,598 --> 00:40:53,584
You are pissing your career away.
917
00:40:53,684 --> 00:40:56,295
And one day
you're gonna look back on your life...
918
00:40:56,395 --> 00:41:01,400
and you're gonna realize that you never
even learned how to play basketball.
919
00:41:23,130 --> 00:41:24,323
Oh jeez!
920
00:41:24,423 --> 00:41:26,425
What the hell?
921
00:41:28,385 --> 00:41:29,537
Shit.
922
00:41:29,637 --> 00:41:31,639
Get your hands in the air.
923
00:41:37,227 --> 00:41:39,229
Monix bail's been set.
924
00:41:45,569 --> 00:41:47,179
Lynn can I ask you a favor?
925
00:41:47,279 --> 00:41:50,140
Oh you mean besides
bailing your ass outta jail?
926
00:41:50,240 --> 00:41:51,992
Lynn no one can drain it like you.
927
00:41:53,535 --> 00:41:56,480
I think I drained all I can
out of there.
928
00:41:56,580 --> 00:41:58,691
- That hurt?
- Not really.
929
00:41:58,791 --> 00:42:01,068
- How about that?
- yeah.
930
00:42:01,168 --> 00:42:02,586
Good.
931
00:42:04,546 --> 00:42:09,176
Listen this is long overdue
but I wanna apologize.
932
00:42:10,511 --> 00:42:12,371
For what?
933
00:42:12,471 --> 00:42:17,751
For you know back then
we had some problems.
934
00:42:17,851 --> 00:42:21,563
Oh did you wanna apologize
for cheating on me?
935
00:42:22,147 --> 00:42:23,924
Twice.
936
00:42:24,024 --> 00:42:25,551
Hey I cheated on you once.
937
00:42:25,651 --> 00:42:29,029
There--There just happened
to be two girls there
938
00:42:30,155 --> 00:42:32,324
- Still not funny?
- Still not funny.
939
00:42:33,659 --> 00:42:35,661
And where's the necklace I made you?
940
00:42:38,664 --> 00:42:40,983
Monix it was the high point
of your career.
941
00:42:41,083 --> 00:42:43,777
- Riding the bench?
- You didn't just ride the bench.
942
00:42:43,877 --> 00:42:45,796
Who did the Celtics practice against?
943
00:42:46,880 --> 00:42:48,282
- Second stringers.
- Second stringers...
944
00:42:48,382 --> 00:42:50,618
and every day you pushed
your team to the limit.
945
00:42:50,718 --> 00:42:53,120
I know I was there I was the one
working on your stupid knee.
946
00:42:53,220 --> 00:42:54,872
I didn't deserve that ring Lynn.
947
00:42:54,972 --> 00:42:59,084
I hardly played.
I was never the guy to hit the big shot.
948
00:42:59,184 --> 00:43:01,795
Wanna know why
things didn't work out between us?
949
00:43:01,895 --> 00:43:02,796
Yeah.
950
00:43:02,896 --> 00:43:07,217
You hate yourself so much
it's impossible to love you.
951
00:43:07,317 --> 00:43:09,136
Wow.
952
00:43:09,236 --> 00:43:11,488
Kinda brutally honest.
953
00:43:14,533 --> 00:43:16,810
Did we have some fun?
954
00:43:16,910 --> 00:43:18,228
You're kind of fun.
955
00:43:18,328 --> 00:43:21,023
Didn't we?
956
00:43:21,123 --> 00:43:23,542
Sometimes.
957
00:43:30,883 --> 00:43:32,468
- What are you doing?
- There he is.
958
00:43:34,303 --> 00:43:36,038
- Been lookin' all over for you.
- 'Bout time...
959
00:43:36,138 --> 00:43:37,665
you scored somethin'.
960
00:43:37,765 --> 00:43:40,417
See ya later Ed. 'Scuse me guys.
961
00:43:40,517 --> 00:43:41,460
Excused.
962
00:43:41,560 --> 00:43:45,214
Doin' your girl in the locker room
huh? Classy.
963
00:43:45,314 --> 00:43:47,633
What are you guys doin' here?
964
00:43:47,733 --> 00:43:50,803
We want you to coach the team.
965
00:43:50,903 --> 00:43:53,097
- What?
- You know the game better than Jackie.
966
00:43:53,197 --> 00:43:57,226
I'm flattered but I don't think
Jackie would be too happy about this.
967
00:43:57,326 --> 00:44:00,854
Come on don't worry about Jackie.
I mean I got this.
968
00:44:00,954 --> 00:44:02,414
OK Tropics hustle up.
969
00:44:03,999 --> 00:44:06,026
Five six seven eight.
970
00:44:06,126 --> 00:44:10,072
One and two and three and four
and turn like you mean it.
971
00:44:10,172 --> 00:44:11,407
Arch that back Bee Bee.
972
00:44:11,507 --> 00:44:13,867
I like it. Good rotation.
973
00:44:13,967 --> 00:44:15,119
Beautiful seahorses.
974
00:44:15,219 --> 00:44:16,453
Leg kick Scootsie.
975
00:44:16,553 --> 00:44:19,473
Nice! And freeze it.
976
00:44:24,019 --> 00:44:25,254
And then we start the game.
977
00:44:25,354 --> 00:44:26,296
Now when I say freeze it...
978
00:44:26,396 --> 00:44:28,982
you guys gotta freeze it OK?
979
00:44:29,149 --> 00:44:31,885
- Hey!
- Hey.
980
00:44:31,985 --> 00:44:33,512
You're back. All right.
981
00:44:33,612 --> 00:44:36,640
We got a extra costume
right over there for you.
982
00:44:36,740 --> 00:44:41,395
I'm not here to do wh--whatever this is.
What is this?
983
00:44:41,495 --> 00:44:43,188
What is this?
984
00:44:43,288 --> 00:44:47,234
Come on man this is--
this is the future of basketball OK?
985
00:44:47,334 --> 00:44:50,921
This is entertainment.
You'll get it. You'll catch on.
986
00:44:55,509 --> 00:44:59,246
Look Jackie. Now don't get mad
but some--some of us got together...
987
00:44:59,346 --> 00:45:01,874
and we asked old Monix
if he'd teach us a little bit.
988
00:45:01,974 --> 00:45:04,001
Wait what do you mean teach us?
989
00:45:04,101 --> 00:45:08,797
I teach you guys things.
Like expert choreography and stuff.
990
00:45:08,897 --> 00:45:10,924
No.
991
00:45:11,024 --> 00:45:14,695
We wanna give Monix
a chance to coach Coach.
992
00:45:16,113 --> 00:45:18,699
What's goin' on here?
993
00:45:19,700 --> 00:45:21,368
What is this?
994
00:45:23,370 --> 00:45:24,705
Clarence?
995
00:45:27,040 --> 00:45:29,126
This is a mutiny.
996
00:45:31,044 --> 00:45:33,505
You guys all in on this?
997
00:45:37,259 --> 00:45:40,204
You motherfuckin' cocksuckers.
998
00:45:40,304 --> 00:45:42,431
All of you.
999
00:45:43,307 --> 00:45:47,628
I have dedicated my life
to this team, OK?
1000
00:45:47,728 --> 00:45:50,063
I have given you guys my soul!
1001
00:45:51,648 --> 00:45:54,968
I mean, who bought you
those boots last Halloween?
1002
00:45:55,068 --> 00:45:57,471
It--That--That would be you Coach.
You bought us those boots.
1003
00:45:57,571 --> 00:45:58,514
I bought 'em!
1004
00:45:58,614 --> 00:46:00,224
I really liked them boots.
They were nice.
1005
00:46:00,324 --> 00:46:02,434
They're really nice boots.
1006
00:46:02,534 --> 00:46:04,061
Yeah we love ya.
1007
00:46:04,161 --> 00:46:07,247
But Monix just knows
the X's and O's baby. That's all.
1008
00:46:08,373 --> 00:46:11,193
Come on, come on,
don't turn your back on us.
1009
00:46:11,293 --> 00:46:13,921
Hey hey hey hey hey. Listen.
1010
00:46:15,631 --> 00:46:19,660
How about this I'll be the offensive
and defensive coordinator...
1011
00:46:19,760 --> 00:46:22,804
and you can still be head coach.
1012
00:46:23,639 --> 00:46:27,434
And you're the best promoter.
We gonna need fans right?
1013
00:46:28,560 --> 00:46:30,254
Do you guys really think
I'm a good promoter?
1014
00:46:30,354 --> 00:46:33,173
- Yeah yeah yeah.
- You know you are man.
1015
00:46:33,273 --> 00:46:36,218
- I'm probably the best in the league.
- Yeah, that's what they say.
1016
00:46:36,318 --> 00:46:37,636
- Top three.
- Yup.
1017
00:46:37,736 --> 00:46:39,513
- Right up there.
- Yeah.
1018
00:46:39,613 --> 00:46:41,406
OK.
1019
00:46:47,621 --> 00:46:48,564
There.
1020
00:46:48,664 --> 00:46:52,484
Careful, don't blow too hard at first
'cause it'll give a high-pitched squeak.
1021
00:46:52,584 --> 00:46:54,695
You just wanna blow easy.
1022
00:46:54,795 --> 00:46:57,364
And once she starts responding
then you can--you can let it fly.
1023
00:46:57,464 --> 00:46:58,966
Thanks Coach.
1024
00:47:05,889 --> 00:47:08,792
All right let's practice guys!
1025
00:47:08,934 --> 00:47:14,106
If we play unselfish, fundamental
basketball we can make a run at this.
1026
00:47:14,856 --> 00:47:19,970
By unselfish I mean we sprint up
the court on every fast break...
1027
00:47:20,070 --> 00:47:23,682
not because we might get a dunk and
get your dick sucked after the game...
1028
00:47:23,782 --> 00:47:27,060
but because sprinting might pull
the defense out of position--
1029
00:47:27,160 --> 00:47:29,438
Wait wait wait wait. So what's goin' on
with the blow jobs again?
1030
00:47:29,538 --> 00:47:31,732
Yeah, 'cause I vote
we keep them blow jobs Jack.
1031
00:47:31,832 --> 00:47:35,611
- Yeah. All in favor?
- Come on let the man talk.
1032
00:47:35,711 --> 00:47:37,362
Thank you Clarence.
1033
00:47:37,462 --> 00:47:40,674
Now till we start playing
like a real team...
1034
00:47:42,342 --> 00:47:45,262
we're gonna practice without the ball.
1035
00:47:46,555 --> 00:47:48,749
That's a waste.
1036
00:47:48,849 --> 00:47:51,351
OK let's run the offense!
1037
00:47:52,769 --> 00:47:55,339
- Without a ball?
- Yeah without the ball Clarence.
1038
00:47:55,439 --> 00:47:57,841
Let's go everybody get in position.
1039
00:47:57,941 --> 00:48:01,803
- Patch that ball up Scootsie.
- Come on! Hustle!
1040
00:48:01,903 --> 00:48:03,889
OK Clarence flash through the lane.
1041
00:48:03,989 --> 00:48:06,600
- Hustle Clarence!
- Come on come on.
1042
00:48:06,700 --> 00:48:07,643
Ball ball ball!
1043
00:48:07,743 --> 00:48:10,354
We been runnin'
the same play all day.
1044
00:48:10,454 --> 00:48:12,481
Yeah can we maybe try
play number two?
1045
00:48:12,581 --> 00:48:15,776
No! I want you to be brain-dead
gentlemen!
1046
00:48:15,876 --> 00:48:19,821
'Cause someday you're gonna be
too tired or too nervous to think.
1047
00:48:19,921 --> 00:48:23,283
And when you are,
this is the play that I'm gonna call.
1048
00:48:23,383 --> 00:48:25,994
We need to be able to run
this play in our sleep.
1049
00:48:26,094 --> 00:48:28,622
I'm a rover, Coach.
I'm just gonna go rover.
1050
00:48:28,722 --> 00:48:31,249
No, don't just go rovin'.
Run the play Jackie Moon.
1051
00:48:31,349 --> 00:48:32,834
I'm creatin' a diversion though...
1052
00:48:32,934 --> 00:48:35,629
- by runnin' in circles over here.
- Don't lose your mind Jackie Moon.
1053
00:48:35,729 --> 00:48:37,631
We are runnin' this until we puke.
1054
00:48:37,731 --> 00:48:40,634
- Well basically we have.
- Yeah I'm pretty beat Coach.
1055
00:48:40,734 --> 00:48:42,970
"Until we puke"
is not a figure of speech.
1056
00:48:43,070 --> 00:48:44,972
We are literally going to puke.
1057
00:48:45,072 --> 00:48:46,698
What does he mean by "literally"?
1058
00:48:50,911 --> 00:48:53,188
I wish you were still
a washing machine!
1059
00:48:53,288 --> 00:48:56,817
Get up and run, Coach!
You're gonna puke like everybody else!
1060
00:48:56,917 --> 00:49:01,154
I can't puke, Monix!
I've never puked in my life ever!
1061
00:49:01,254 --> 00:49:02,406
You're lying to me.
1062
00:49:02,506 --> 00:49:06,159
I've been sick before, I've just never
puked. Swear on my mother's grave.
1063
00:49:06,259 --> 00:49:09,830
What about when you were a baby?
Babies throw up all the time.
1064
00:49:09,930 --> 00:49:13,433
My mom said I never did it. I swear.
1065
00:49:14,684 --> 00:49:16,545
She said I was fascinating.
1066
00:49:16,645 --> 00:49:21,024
In fact the local PBS wanted to do
a documentary on me.
1067
00:49:22,859 --> 00:49:24,553
Have you ever been punched
in the jejunum?
1068
00:49:24,653 --> 00:49:26,513
No what's a jejunum?
1069
00:49:26,613 --> 00:49:28,724
It's part of the small intestine.
1070
00:49:28,824 --> 00:49:30,475
I don't think so.
1071
00:49:30,575 --> 00:49:34,955
I mean I've been punched in the armpit
before, and in the wrist twice.
1072
00:49:35,747 --> 00:49:39,751
Coccyx and in the back of the knee.
1073
00:49:40,293 --> 00:49:43,880
Both eyes and I've been punched
right in my--my tracheal--
1074
00:49:51,638 --> 00:49:53,265
Hunh!
1075
00:49:55,559 --> 00:49:56,893
Hunh--
1076
00:49:58,603 --> 00:50:00,130
Hunh--
1077
00:50:02,732 --> 00:50:04,926
Let--Let that out.
1078
00:50:05,026 --> 00:50:06,094
Hohh.
1079
00:50:06,194 --> 00:50:08,430
- Go ahead Jackie. Just let it go.
- Hhh
1080
00:50:08,530 --> 00:50:11,825
Hey hey hey.
1081
00:50:12,659 --> 00:50:14,519
Hunh--
1082
00:50:15,996 --> 00:50:18,607
Get ahold of yourself Ja--Jackie!
1083
00:50:18,707 --> 00:50:22,444
Let go! Hold it in Jackie! Hold it in!
1084
00:50:22,544 --> 00:50:24,529
Get off me God damn it!
1085
00:50:24,629 --> 00:50:25,922
- Jackie!
- Bleeuurgh!
1086
00:50:32,429 --> 00:50:33,872
We are seeing a very different...
1087
00:50:33,972 --> 00:50:35,457
Tropics basketball team
than we're used to...
1088
00:50:35,557 --> 00:50:36,750
aren't we Lou?
1089
00:50:36,850 --> 00:50:39,127
Playing with a lot of energy
and a lot of confidence.
1090
00:50:39,227 --> 00:50:40,253
They're movin' the ball well.
1091
00:50:40,353 --> 00:50:41,296
It looks like they're gonna win this game.
1092
00:50:41,396 --> 00:50:43,523
The only question is by how much?
1093
00:50:44,691 --> 00:50:46,301
Jangel has the ball now.
1094
00:50:46,401 --> 00:50:48,762
Oh my gosh a loose ball on the court
and Clarence dives for it?
1095
00:50:48,862 --> 00:50:49,805
Timeout!
1096
00:50:49,905 --> 00:50:51,640
That's something we have not seen
before. And a timeout
1097
00:50:51,740 --> 00:50:53,058
Timeout white!
1098
00:50:53,158 --> 00:50:55,519
- Hey. Good playin' out there Jackie.
- Thanks.
1099
00:50:55,619 --> 00:50:57,979
- Way to go man.
- Yeah.
1100
00:50:58,079 --> 00:51:00,607
The crowd is really excited tonight.
1101
00:51:00,707 --> 00:51:01,942
They know what's at stake Dick.
1102
00:51:02,042 --> 00:51:05,320
Yup gettin' their home team
into the NBA.
1103
00:51:05,420 --> 00:51:06,780
No I'm talking about free corn dogs.
1104
00:51:06,880 --> 00:51:09,324
Oh that's right.
It's free corn dog night.
1105
00:51:09,424 --> 00:51:10,867
Fellas it's lookin' great.
1106
00:51:10,967 --> 00:51:12,661
We're 30 seconds away
from takin' this thing.
1107
00:51:12,761 --> 00:51:16,957
Yeah he's right. Let's try to win
but not win by too much.
1108
00:51:17,057 --> 00:51:19,793
Wait we don't want to win by too much?
1109
00:51:19,893 --> 00:51:21,086
What the hell are you talkin' about?
1110
00:51:21,186 --> 00:51:23,338
- Corn dogs.
- What?
1111
00:51:23,438 --> 00:51:24,965
See if we score 125 points...
1112
00:51:25,065 --> 00:51:27,467
that mean we gotta give everybody
in here a free corn dog, all right?
1113
00:51:27,567 --> 00:51:29,761
Yeah, sorry, Monix.
We don't even got corn dogs.
1114
00:51:29,861 --> 00:51:32,180
Corn--I don't care,
we're takin' it to 'em all right?
1115
00:51:32,280 --> 00:51:34,141
Hey we're up by seven OK?
1116
00:51:34,241 --> 00:51:36,935
Can't we just take it easy?
Run the clock out?
1117
00:51:37,035 --> 00:51:38,353
We're talkin' a lot of corn dogs!
1118
00:51:38,453 --> 00:51:39,980
I don't give a shit
about the corn dogs all right?
1119
00:51:40,080 --> 00:51:44,151
We play hard every second. We run
the offense. Everybody got that?
1120
00:51:44,251 --> 00:51:45,819
- Right on.
- Yeah yeah yeah.
1121
00:51:45,919 --> 00:51:48,321
You got that Jackie?
1122
00:51:48,421 --> 00:51:51,158
- OK bring us together man.
- One two three.
1123
00:51:51,258 --> 00:51:53,869
Let's get Tropical!
1124
00:51:53,969 --> 00:51:58,165
OK it looks like we are going
to return to the game. Monix--
1125
00:51:58,265 --> 00:51:59,374
- Hey Monix.
- has the ball.
1126
00:51:59,474 --> 00:52:01,668
You wanna just throw it to me? I can
get it to Clarence. That might be easier.
1127
00:52:01,768 --> 00:52:03,086
Jackie move!
1128
00:52:03,186 --> 00:52:05,547
Ball ball ball ball
ball ball ball! Ball!
1129
00:52:05,647 --> 00:52:08,216
- Nice Monix!
- Monix inbounds to Clarence.
1130
00:52:08,316 --> 00:52:10,135
OK. Come on Clarence
take your time.
1131
00:52:10,235 --> 00:52:11,945
Come on Nets play some defense.
1132
00:52:13,071 --> 00:52:14,890
You wanna go for the double team?
Might be a good time.
1133
00:52:14,990 --> 00:52:16,683
Double team double team.
1134
00:52:16,783 --> 00:52:18,810
I won't do anything
if I get the ball I promise.
1135
00:52:18,910 --> 00:52:22,355
He'll go with his right. He loves
his right one. He likes the right hand.
1136
00:52:22,455 --> 00:52:23,857
- What are you doin'?
- Clarence drives.
1137
00:52:23,957 --> 00:52:26,026
Dishes off to Scootsie.
1138
00:52:26,126 --> 00:52:29,362
But look at this Jackie Moon
blocks his own teammate's shot!
1139
00:52:29,462 --> 00:52:31,489
A loose ball on the court
Vakidis gets it.
1140
00:52:31,589 --> 00:52:36,077
No-o-o-o-o!
1141
00:52:36,177 --> 00:52:39,222
Arrrrgh!
1142
00:52:54,154 --> 00:52:55,722
God damn it Vakidis!
1143
00:52:55,822 --> 00:52:57,490
Learn fuckin' English!
1144
00:52:59,326 --> 00:53:03,521
Corn dogs, Jackie!
Corn dogs for all these people.
1145
00:53:03,621 --> 00:53:07,984
The Tropics win,
and this crowd is going crazy.
1146
00:53:08,084 --> 00:53:10,237
Crazy for corn dogs.
1147
00:53:10,337 --> 00:53:15,050
And Jackie Moon gives us
a victory lap... right out the door!
1148
00:53:16,468 --> 00:53:17,786
Now Scootsie rotate up top.
1149
00:53:17,886 --> 00:53:21,206
Vakidis flash to the high post.
1150
00:53:21,306 --> 00:53:24,751
No to the high post Vakidis.
Help him.
1151
00:53:24,851 --> 00:53:26,603
Good.
1152
00:53:31,149 --> 00:53:32,801
- At guard--
- Dance to the music
1153
00:53:32,901 --> 00:53:34,552
formerly known as Clarence Withers...
1154
00:53:34,652 --> 00:53:37,889
- and "Downtown Funky Stuff" Malone--
- Dance to the music
1155
00:53:37,989 --> 00:53:39,557
and Sugar Dunkerton.
1156
00:53:39,657 --> 00:53:41,476
- Dance to the music
- He's tryin' out his new name tonight.
1157
00:53:41,576 --> 00:53:43,603
Put your hands together for--
1158
00:53:43,703 --> 00:53:46,773
- Dance to the music
- Coffee Black.
1159
00:53:46,873 --> 00:53:48,483
Coffee Black!
1160
00:53:48,583 --> 00:53:51,236
Dance to the music
1161
00:53:51,336 --> 00:53:54,990
You might like to hear
the horns blowin'
1162
00:53:55,090 --> 00:53:58,843
Cynthia on the throne yeah!
1163
00:54:08,269 --> 00:54:10,046
Great job honey!
1164
00:54:10,146 --> 00:54:12,132
Looking great!
1165
00:54:12,232 --> 00:54:14,134
God she's beautiful.
1166
00:54:14,234 --> 00:54:15,969
Now let's do it again. Jab.
1167
00:54:16,069 --> 00:54:17,595
Swing attack.
1168
00:54:17,695 --> 00:54:19,556
Good.
1169
00:54:19,656 --> 00:54:20,949
That's it.
1170
00:54:29,332 --> 00:54:31,751
Dance to the music
1171
00:54:32,961 --> 00:54:35,797
Dance to the music
1172
00:54:36,631 --> 00:54:39,884
Dance to the music
1173
00:54:40,593 --> 00:54:43,330
Here they come the Flint Tropics
Ball Girls cheerleading squad...
1174
00:54:43,430 --> 00:54:45,957
keeping the crowd energized
through the timeout.
1175
00:54:46,057 --> 00:54:47,167
They've just got such big--
1176
00:54:47,267 --> 00:54:49,085
- What?
- Hearts.
1177
00:54:49,185 --> 00:54:50,795
- Yes.
- Big bouncy jiggly hearts.
1178
00:54:50,895 --> 00:54:52,339
Well hearts don't really bounce...
1179
00:54:52,439 --> 00:54:54,399
so now I think you're talking
about something else Lou.
1180
00:54:56,234 --> 00:54:58,303
- Say it! Get up!
- Yeah!
1181
00:54:58,403 --> 00:55:00,221
Downtown brings
the ball up forward...
1182
00:55:00,321 --> 00:55:02,515
and passes to Monix
at the top of the key.
1183
00:55:02,615 --> 00:55:04,726
Behind his back to Doubleday.
1184
00:55:04,826 --> 00:55:06,227
Scootsie goes for the three-pointer...
1185
00:55:06,327 --> 00:55:07,954
and it is good!
1186
00:55:09,289 --> 00:55:10,815
Are you actually havin' fun out here
Monix?
1187
00:55:10,915 --> 00:55:12,959
Hey don't tell anybody.
1188
00:55:23,761 --> 00:55:26,848
Dance to the music
1189
00:55:27,557 --> 00:55:29,959
Dance to the music
1190
00:55:30,059 --> 00:55:31,169
Yeah yeah yeah
1191
00:55:31,269 --> 00:55:33,730
Dance to the music
1192
00:55:52,040 --> 00:55:54,567
Well if it isn't the toast of Flint Michigan.
1193
00:55:54,667 --> 00:55:58,630
Shouldn't you be out signing
autographs somewhere or somethin'?
1194
00:56:02,592 --> 00:56:05,578
- Will you marry me?
- Shut up.
1195
00:56:05,678 --> 00:56:07,747
I'm--I'm crazy about you.
You know that.
1196
00:56:07,847 --> 00:56:09,165
Do I?
1197
00:56:09,265 --> 00:56:11,543
You came to one of our games.
1198
00:56:11,643 --> 00:56:14,379
Don't think I didn't see you
hiding in the upper deck.
1199
00:56:14,479 --> 00:56:19,092
- So?
- So--So let's do this Lynn. You and me.
1200
00:56:19,192 --> 00:56:22,804
You know like back in the day.
1201
00:56:22,904 --> 00:56:27,350
You know? I--I mean not then because
I was an asshole. Better right?
1202
00:56:27,450 --> 00:56:29,327
For real this time.
1203
00:56:32,372 --> 00:56:34,582
I need you.
1204
00:56:35,291 --> 00:56:37,318
Yo Monix!
1205
00:56:37,418 --> 00:56:42,490
What's up, man?
Hey check out the jersey. I'm you!
1206
00:56:42,590 --> 00:56:45,827
Yeah.
1207
00:56:45,927 --> 00:56:48,455
- Hey Kyle?
- Yeah.
1208
00:56:48,555 --> 00:56:50,290
Can you do me a big favor?
1209
00:56:50,390 --> 00:56:53,293
Can you go get me a tube of Bengay?
1210
00:56:53,393 --> 00:56:58,298
Are you kidding me?
I'd be honored man. I'll leave right now.
1211
00:56:58,398 --> 00:56:59,382
What do you think you're doing?
1212
00:56:59,482 --> 00:57:00,592
- Hey Kyle?
- Yeah!
1213
00:57:00,692 --> 00:57:03,136
Listen don't--Kyle?
1214
00:57:03,236 --> 00:57:04,971
- Yeah!
- Don't go to the pharmacy.
1215
00:57:05,071 --> 00:57:08,558
I need one of those big tubes like
you get at--at Luger's out on Route 59.
1216
00:57:08,658 --> 00:57:11,035
I'm already gone big man!
1217
00:57:16,082 --> 00:57:19,210
Hey Lynn. Forgot my stupid wallet.
1218
00:57:24,757 --> 00:57:26,467
That's it.
1219
00:57:34,601 --> 00:57:36,503
Yes.
1220
00:57:36,603 --> 00:57:38,813
Oh baby keep on
1221
00:57:40,648 --> 00:57:43,234
Come on baby keep on doin' it
1222
00:57:45,236 --> 00:57:48,014
Right on
1223
00:57:48,114 --> 00:57:49,866
Right on doin' it
1224
00:57:51,284 --> 00:57:53,019
You got it together
1225
00:57:53,119 --> 00:57:54,062
Baby keep on
1226
00:57:54,162 --> 00:57:56,189
Oh you got it together baby
1227
00:57:56,289 --> 00:57:58,399
Right on
1228
00:57:58,499 --> 00:57:59,609
Keep on doin' it
1229
00:57:59,709 --> 00:58:02,629
And I'll give you
baby all that I get
1230
00:58:04,047 --> 00:58:05,823
- Kyle.
- Keep on
1231
00:58:07,842 --> 00:58:10,703
- Fuck!
- Monix!
1232
00:58:10,803 --> 00:58:12,080
You old dog.
1233
00:58:12,180 --> 00:58:13,998
- What the hell are you doin'?
- Nothin', man.
1234
00:58:14,098 --> 00:58:17,252
I'm just sittin' here watching...
and stuff.
1235
00:58:17,352 --> 00:58:18,628
I'm outta here.
1236
00:58:18,728 --> 00:58:22,173
Come on man don't be like that.
It's all cool.
1237
00:58:22,273 --> 00:58:25,969
No man. No believe me it's not cool.
1238
00:58:26,069 --> 00:58:27,720
I'll call you.
1239
00:58:27,820 --> 00:58:29,447
OK.
1240
00:58:32,784 --> 00:58:34,369
He was talkin' to me.
1241
00:58:35,119 --> 00:58:36,271
Yes ladies and gentlemen...
1242
00:58:36,371 --> 00:58:38,940
Jackie Moon has outdone himself
with this promotion...
1243
00:58:39,040 --> 00:58:42,735
as he prepares to jump
over 47 feet of Ball Girls.
1244
00:58:42,835 --> 00:58:45,630
- Rollercoaster
- Say, what?
1245
00:58:46,756 --> 00:58:49,284
The fact that Jackie's
never been on roller skates before...
1246
00:58:49,384 --> 00:58:51,119
appears to have done nothing
to diminish his confidence.
1247
00:58:51,219 --> 00:58:54,038
- Rollercoaster
- All right folks.
1248
00:58:54,138 --> 00:58:55,373
Here comes--
1249
00:58:55,473 --> 00:58:58,626
- Rollercoaster
- Jackie!
1250
00:58:58,726 --> 00:59:01,337
Here he comes down the ramp.
1251
00:59:01,437 --> 00:59:03,815
- He is airborne!
- Shit!
1252
00:59:04,857 --> 00:59:07,819
- Oh, no!
- Oh Lord!
1253
00:59:10,947 --> 00:59:12,974
- Jackie's up!
- Rollercoaster!
1254
00:59:13,074 --> 00:59:15,226
Of love
1255
00:59:15,326 --> 00:59:16,728
- Great job!
- Rollercoaster!
1256
00:59:16,828 --> 00:59:18,896
And everyone survives!
1257
00:59:18,996 --> 00:59:20,873
That was exciting!
1258
00:59:22,125 --> 00:59:24,277
- Of love
- Oh that's an adrenaline rush.
1259
00:59:24,377 --> 00:59:25,445
Rollercoaster
1260
00:59:25,545 --> 00:59:29,006
Next time I'm gonna jump
even more girls.
1261
00:59:30,049 --> 00:59:33,411
- What?
- The Commissioner just called again.
1262
00:59:33,511 --> 00:59:36,331
- Commish?
- He's drivin' up here on Monday.
1263
00:59:36,431 --> 00:59:38,750
- He's comin' to Flint?
- Yes he's comin' to Flint.
1264
00:59:38,850 --> 00:59:41,352
Shit. Crap.
1265
00:59:43,229 --> 00:59:46,174
- You all right?
- Yeah.
1266
00:59:46,274 --> 00:59:49,427
You know Jackie we need
2000 fans in those stands.
1267
00:59:49,527 --> 00:59:52,305
We can't fake it this time.
We gotta--we gotta do somethin'.
1268
00:59:52,405 --> 00:59:53,890
Look it's no problem.
I'll take care of it.
1269
00:59:53,990 --> 00:59:56,184
Yeah? We've tried everything.
1270
00:59:56,284 --> 00:59:57,769
Look I said I'll handle it OK?
1271
00:59:57,869 --> 01:00:00,480
- I'll think of somethin'.
- All right.
1272
01:00:00,580 --> 01:00:02,231
Back in 30 seconds.
1273
01:00:02,331 --> 01:00:05,026
- How's your wife doin'?
- Oh she's doing just super.
1274
01:00:05,126 --> 01:00:06,361
- She's gorgeous. Yeah.
- Really terri--
1275
01:00:06,461 --> 01:00:08,613
- Oh thank you I think. I mean--
- I'd be--
1276
01:00:08,713 --> 01:00:11,157
- hands off!
- I'll try.
1277
01:00:11,257 --> 01:00:12,367
- OK.
- No guarantees.
1278
01:00:12,467 --> 01:00:13,951
Really?
1279
01:00:14,051 --> 01:00:15,662
I'd like a guarantee.
1280
01:00:15,762 --> 01:00:17,163
Are we back Chuck?
We're back.
1281
01:00:17,263 --> 01:00:19,666
OK. Welcome back
to Tropics Weekly.
1282
01:00:19,766 --> 01:00:22,627
I'm joined by owner/player/coach
Jackie Moon.
1283
01:00:22,727 --> 01:00:24,962
Jackie it is always an honor
when you can drop by.
1284
01:00:25,062 --> 01:00:26,506
Always enjoy our time together
Dick Pepper.
1285
01:00:26,606 --> 01:00:28,633
Dick Pepperfield actually.
1286
01:00:28,733 --> 01:00:29,676
Now Jackie...
1287
01:00:29,776 --> 01:00:34,013
amazingly, you're two wins away
from getting your team to the NBA.
1288
01:00:34,113 --> 01:00:37,850
How do you intend to match up
to the Squires' strong inside game?
1289
01:00:37,950 --> 01:00:39,352
It's a great question.
1290
01:00:39,452 --> 01:00:44,499
Tomorrow after the game
I Jackie Moon will wrestle a bear.
1291
01:00:45,500 --> 01:00:47,235
Well that's something...
1292
01:00:47,335 --> 01:00:49,779
but defensively as a team
how do you--
1293
01:00:49,879 --> 01:00:51,739
That's tomorrow night
one night only...
1294
01:00:51,839 --> 01:00:54,409
watch Dewie the Wrestling Bear
attack me--
1295
01:00:54,509 --> 01:00:56,536
and he's killed people in public before.
1296
01:00:56,636 --> 01:00:58,162
Well OK that is some entertainment...
1297
01:00:58,262 --> 01:01:00,832
and you are known for
your creative promotions Jackie but--
1298
01:01:00,932 --> 01:01:02,500
You're not gonna
want to miss this folks...
1299
01:01:02,600 --> 01:01:05,211
and if you're a small child you creep
into your mama's bedroom at night...
1300
01:01:05,311 --> 01:01:07,088
and you lift about 40 bucks...
1301
01:01:07,188 --> 01:01:08,381
- outta your mom's purse--
- Oh, no, no, no.
1302
01:01:08,481 --> 01:01:11,884
and you walk down to Flint
Fairgrounds Coliseum eight o'clock!
1303
01:01:11,984 --> 01:01:15,054
There ya have it. Jackie Moon
thanks so much for joining us.
1304
01:01:15,154 --> 01:01:17,615
Dewie's insane!
He could rip my head off!
1305
01:01:20,284 --> 01:01:24,605
I'm Dick Pepperfield reminding you
there will be another night.
1306
01:01:24,705 --> 01:01:26,733
Good night Flint.
1307
01:01:26,833 --> 01:01:28,860
Jackie are you really
gonna wrestle a bear?
1308
01:01:28,960 --> 01:01:33,573
- Dick you're the best.
- And we're clear.
1309
01:01:33,673 --> 01:01:36,200
- Let's go get some pussy.
- Gosh I don't know.
1310
01:01:36,300 --> 01:01:37,785
- Really?
- Yeah.
1311
01:01:37,885 --> 01:01:41,205
- I--I shouldn't. You know I shouldn't.
- But you want to.
1312
01:01:41,305 --> 01:01:45,293
Yes I said I cannot say no to you.
We are gonna get some pussy aren't we?
1313
01:01:45,393 --> 01:01:47,186
It's gonna be fun.
1314
01:01:49,313 --> 01:01:51,716
Come on!
1315
01:01:51,816 --> 01:01:53,568
I'm scared Clarence.
1316
01:01:54,694 --> 01:01:57,597
It's a baby bear.
It's trained and everything.
1317
01:01:57,697 --> 01:01:59,599
Who's a good bear?
1318
01:01:59,699 --> 01:02:01,267
Who used to live in the woods?
1319
01:02:01,367 --> 01:02:04,937
I don't care. I'm terrified of those things.
I'm freakin' out.
1320
01:02:05,037 --> 01:02:06,439
Come on get it together.
1321
01:02:06,539 --> 01:02:09,358
Oh oh I'm startin' to feel really dizzy.
1322
01:02:09,458 --> 01:02:10,693
Break his neck! Come on!
1323
01:02:10,793 --> 01:02:12,945
- Call it off?
- No! No.
1324
01:02:13,045 --> 01:02:15,490
OK. I gotta give these people a show.
1325
01:02:15,590 --> 01:02:17,784
Are you guys ready?
1326
01:02:17,884 --> 01:02:20,620
- You have to give me your safe word.
- No I don't need a safe word.
1327
01:02:20,720 --> 01:02:25,141
OK, I'll tell you what, if you feel
like you're in danger just say, um--
1328
01:02:26,601 --> 01:02:27,543
spumoni.
1329
01:02:27,643 --> 01:02:30,313
No I--I don't need spumoni OK?
Let's get this show on the road.
1330
01:02:31,063 --> 01:02:32,815
Bobby Dee.
1331
01:02:37,278 --> 01:02:40,823
- Let's go!
- Go--Go--Go ahead man.
1332
01:02:43,242 --> 01:02:45,578
What are you afraid of?
1333
01:02:46,245 --> 01:02:47,788
Hey.
1334
01:02:49,457 --> 01:02:51,567
We're both wearing red.
1335
01:02:51,667 --> 01:02:54,821
- Sorry I'm not ignoring you. I'm just--
- That's stupid Jackie!
1336
01:02:54,921 --> 01:02:57,423
trying to deal with him right now.
1337
01:02:59,008 --> 01:03:00,409
I like your top hat though.
1338
01:03:00,509 --> 01:03:04,163
Thanks. It was normal size
but I put it in the dryer.
1339
01:03:04,263 --> 01:03:05,706
How long you been
working with the bear?
1340
01:03:05,806 --> 01:03:07,750
Just like a day or so.
1341
01:03:07,850 --> 01:03:09,168
What?
1342
01:03:09,268 --> 01:03:12,046
But I've been working with cats
for like 12 years.
1343
01:03:12,146 --> 01:03:14,966
So I'm very familiar with animals.
1344
01:03:15,066 --> 01:03:16,968
Great.
1345
01:03:17,068 --> 01:03:18,678
- C'mon!
- Hey, Dewie.
1346
01:03:18,778 --> 01:03:21,197
Fuck that shit!
1347
01:03:24,158 --> 01:03:25,434
I'm outta here. Spumoni.
1348
01:03:25,534 --> 01:03:28,663
No nope. No no.
You can't quit now. We just started.
1349
01:03:30,498 --> 01:03:32,191
We got to give these people
a show, man.
1350
01:03:32,291 --> 01:03:33,651
- Yeah you're right.
- That guy's a pussy!
1351
01:03:33,751 --> 01:03:37,213
Test him out.
I'm just gonna be right over here.
1352
01:03:38,172 --> 01:03:40,074
- Do something!
- Come on, Dewie.
1353
01:03:40,174 --> 01:03:42,076
You're just nothin' but a dumb bear.
1354
01:03:42,176 --> 01:03:44,470
Smack smack. Yep.
1355
01:03:46,806 --> 01:03:49,375
Crazy fists. I'm comin' with crazy fists.
1356
01:03:51,519 --> 01:03:54,021
Yeah. Huh? This is fine
he's not doing anything.
1357
01:03:59,318 --> 01:04:01,137
Flint can you dig it?
1358
01:04:01,237 --> 01:04:02,263
Jackie Moon Flint--
1359
01:04:02,363 --> 01:04:04,015
Shit!
1360
01:04:10,371 --> 01:04:12,732
Dewie!
1361
01:04:12,832 --> 01:04:13,816
Spumoni!
1362
01:04:13,916 --> 01:04:15,776
One round. No spumoni!
1363
01:04:15,876 --> 01:04:17,653
Fuck you Clarence! Spumoni!
1364
01:04:17,753 --> 01:04:20,239
Dewie no!
1365
01:04:20,339 --> 01:04:23,009
Bobby Dee help! Shit! Spumoni!
1366
01:04:32,309 --> 01:04:35,379
Watch my hair! Watch my hair!
1367
01:04:35,479 --> 01:04:38,257
The only thing I care about
is my hair! Watch it!
1368
01:04:38,357 --> 01:04:41,677
Dewie! My hair!
1369
01:04:41,777 --> 01:04:44,613
Spumoni! Spumoni!
1370
01:04:45,489 --> 01:04:48,434
How many times
do I gotta say spumoni?
1371
01:04:48,534 --> 01:04:51,270
- Somebody's got to do something.
- I wouldn't go in there if I were you.
1372
01:04:51,370 --> 01:04:53,898
Don't worry Jackie!
I'm coming Jackie.
1373
01:04:53,998 --> 01:04:55,608
I'm comin' Jackie.
1374
01:05:01,881 --> 01:05:04,258
Turn on the lights! Turn on the lights!
1375
01:05:05,468 --> 01:05:07,745
Good.
1376
01:05:07,845 --> 01:05:11,515
Nobody move. Nobody move.
1377
01:05:12,558 --> 01:05:15,628
Where are you precious?
1378
01:05:15,728 --> 01:05:18,297
Dewie?
1379
01:05:18,397 --> 01:05:21,300
Everyone just remain seated.
1380
01:05:21,400 --> 01:05:23,552
I think he left.
1381
01:05:23,652 --> 01:05:24,612
Dewie?
1382
01:05:27,823 --> 01:05:29,642
Everybody panic!
1383
01:05:29,742 --> 01:05:33,688
Oh my God there's a bear
loose in the Coliseum!
1384
01:05:33,788 --> 01:05:35,856
There will be no refunds!
1385
01:05:35,956 --> 01:05:38,985
Your refund will be escaping
this deathtrap with your life!
1386
01:05:39,085 --> 01:05:41,612
If you have a small child
use it as a shield!
1387
01:05:41,712 --> 01:05:43,322
They love the tender meat.
1388
01:05:43,422 --> 01:05:46,842
Cover your sodas Dewie loves sugar.
1389
01:05:48,427 --> 01:05:52,306
- Hey, Jackie.
- Hey Commish.
1390
01:05:53,432 --> 01:05:55,042
What do ya think?
Packed house right?
1391
01:05:55,142 --> 01:05:57,795
I need to speak with you
and the rest of the team Jackie.
1392
01:05:57,895 --> 01:06:01,132
OK. Locker room? All right.
1393
01:06:01,232 --> 01:06:01,298
This whole merger thing
has been really complicated.
1394
01:06:01,398 --> 01:06:04,802
This whole merger thing
has been really complicated.
1395
01:06:04,902 --> 01:06:09,365
It's taken a lot of my time
out of my life away from my family.
1396
01:06:11,283 --> 01:06:15,938
Look even if you beat the Spurs
on Saturday--
1397
01:06:16,038 --> 01:06:18,899
the Tropics won't be going
to the NBA next year.
1398
01:06:18,999 --> 01:06:20,776
Come on man.
1399
01:06:20,876 --> 01:06:22,403
What--What the hell
are you talkin' about?
1400
01:06:22,503 --> 01:06:26,240
The expansion committee had
an emergency meeting in Manhattan.
1401
01:06:26,340 --> 01:06:30,745
and they decided that Flint
just isn't a big enough media market.
1402
01:06:30,845 --> 01:06:33,456
Well tough shit!
We done made it this far.
1403
01:06:33,556 --> 01:06:35,041
And rules is rules.
1404
01:06:35,141 --> 01:06:37,960
Guys it's over.
1405
01:06:38,060 --> 01:06:40,062
There's nothing I can do.
1406
01:06:42,606 --> 01:06:46,861
Jackie, I'm man enough
to admit when I'm wrong.
1407
01:06:47,862 --> 01:06:51,323
I never thought you'd pull it off.
But you did.
1408
01:06:53,993 --> 01:06:55,578
Good luck.
1409
01:06:56,328 --> 01:06:57,730
Psh! Right.
1410
01:06:57,830 --> 01:07:02,710
Jackie this is the type of deal
you can work around, ain't it?
1411
01:07:03,919 --> 01:07:06,964
Yeah, you Jackie Moon. I mean,
you can just make a phone call right?
1412
01:07:09,550 --> 01:07:12,511
Sorry guys. I--I let you down.
1413
01:07:14,013 --> 01:07:15,556
I'm nothin' but a big phony.
1414
01:07:16,682 --> 01:07:18,893
Oh man don't talk like that.
You ain't no phony.
1415
01:07:19,810 --> 01:07:23,839
Yes I am. You know my song
Love Me Sexy?
1416
01:07:23,939 --> 01:07:25,007
Of course yeah.
1417
01:07:25,107 --> 01:07:27,802
Yeah everybody loves that song man.
It was number one in the country.
1418
01:07:27,902 --> 01:07:29,178
I stole it.
1419
01:07:29,278 --> 01:07:31,138
No.
1420
01:07:31,238 --> 01:07:32,973
It's true.
1421
01:07:33,073 --> 01:07:37,328
My mom wrote it on a napkin three weeks
before she died and I stole it.
1422
01:07:37,953 --> 01:07:39,772
That song bought me this franchise...
1423
01:07:39,872 --> 01:07:42,149
and the hottest wife in the world...
1424
01:07:42,249 --> 01:07:45,502
but it's all fake.
1425
01:07:46,921 --> 01:07:50,783
Well--Well look you can write another
song. I know it's in your bones. Right?
1426
01:07:50,883 --> 01:07:54,203
Don't be crazy. I can't write a song
as brilliant as Love Me Sexy.
1427
01:07:54,303 --> 01:07:56,205
You're right.
1428
01:07:56,305 --> 01:07:58,641
I just wish I could puke this all away.
1429
01:08:01,477 --> 01:08:03,854
Monix can you punch me
in the jejunum?
1430
01:08:05,356 --> 01:08:06,690
Monix?
1431
01:08:07,983 --> 01:08:14,140
Qué será será
1432
01:08:14,240 --> 01:08:15,808
In a new merger-policy shift...
1433
01:08:15,908 --> 01:08:20,062
it seems the Tropics will not
be playing for an NBA berth after all.
1434
01:08:20,162 --> 01:08:22,606
Saturday's matchup
against the first-place Spurs...
1435
01:08:22,706 --> 01:08:25,818
will be the Tropics'
final basketball game.
1436
01:08:25,918 --> 01:08:27,987
And in an act of great sacrifice...
1437
01:08:28,087 --> 01:08:30,698
Jackie Moon has helped
Tropics' superstar Coffee Black...
1438
01:08:30,798 --> 01:08:32,533
realize his NBA dreams...
1439
01:08:32,633 --> 01:08:33,617
by trading him to the Spurs.
1440
01:08:33,717 --> 01:08:38,372
Clarence baby you made it! You made it
Clarence you made it!
1441
01:08:38,472 --> 01:08:40,849
Yes.
1442
01:08:42,935 --> 01:08:44,937
Qué será
1443
01:08:46,230 --> 01:08:48,274
Qué será
1444
01:08:49,441 --> 01:08:50,943
Bullshit.
1445
01:08:54,488 --> 01:08:56,198
Qué será
1446
01:08:58,200 --> 01:09:03,731
For Lou Redwood I'm Dick Pepperfield
reminding you there will be another--
1447
01:09:03,831 --> 01:09:07,443
No actually we're down to our last night.
1448
01:09:07,543 --> 01:09:09,962
Shit.
1449
01:09:18,804 --> 01:09:20,539
Sup chief?
1450
01:09:20,639 --> 01:09:22,308
Hey.
1451
01:09:28,355 --> 01:09:30,024
What are you doing here?
1452
01:09:32,818 --> 01:09:34,637
If you ain't heard I got traded.
1453
01:09:34,737 --> 01:09:36,347
Oh yeah.
1454
01:09:36,447 --> 01:09:38,824
Coffee Black headin' to the NBA.
1455
01:09:39,908 --> 01:09:42,019
Big time.
1456
01:09:42,119 --> 01:09:45,231
Yeah I just wanted to let you know
man, this year, you coaching us...
1457
01:09:45,331 --> 01:09:46,523
the way you did it,
you really made us feel--
1458
01:09:46,623 --> 01:09:49,235
No no no no.
1459
01:09:49,335 --> 01:09:50,586
Don't.
1460
01:09:51,337 --> 01:09:52,504
OK.
1461
01:09:56,675 --> 01:09:59,161
Let me ask you somethin' Monix.
1462
01:09:59,261 --> 01:10:00,829
Yup.
1463
01:10:00,929 --> 01:10:02,598
You already played for the NBA.
1464
01:10:03,515 --> 01:10:06,126
Your knee is gone...
1465
01:10:06,226 --> 01:10:09,755
you couldn't give a damn about the
merger you were gonna retire anyway.
1466
01:10:09,855 --> 01:10:12,174
What's the question?
1467
01:10:12,274 --> 01:10:14,985
What--what you playin' for?
1468
01:10:19,823 --> 01:10:22,393
I just wanna sit here
and have a beer in peace.
1469
01:10:22,493 --> 01:10:23,786
Yeah?
1470
01:10:29,375 --> 01:10:30,709
All right.
1471
01:10:33,420 --> 01:10:35,239
I just thought you'd wanna hear that.
1472
01:10:35,339 --> 01:10:37,091
Have a good one.
1473
01:10:50,062 --> 01:10:52,881
Baby are you ready
to lick me sexy?
1474
01:10:52,981 --> 01:10:54,675
Baby are you ready
to lick me sexy?
1475
01:10:54,775 --> 01:10:55,718
Jackie where you at?
1476
01:10:55,818 --> 01:11:00,072
I'm a big faker
and I stole this song-ly sexy
1477
01:11:01,115 --> 01:11:04,868
I wanna kill myself-y sexy
1478
01:11:06,578 --> 01:11:12,109
I'm gonna get an extension
cord and hang myself sexy
1479
01:11:12,209 --> 01:11:15,087
Oh buddy. What are you doin'?
1480
01:11:16,213 --> 01:11:19,800
Oh right now I'm urinating on myself.
1481
01:11:21,718 --> 01:11:25,581
Listen Jackie I never thanked you.
1482
01:11:25,681 --> 01:11:29,101
- For what?
- For helpin' me find basketball again.
1483
01:11:33,605 --> 01:11:36,508
Now what is it--Don't eat that.
1484
01:11:36,608 --> 01:11:39,261
- What is that?
- Pancake.
1485
01:11:39,361 --> 01:11:42,931
- Has that been there?
- It's been here a while.
1486
01:11:43,031 --> 01:11:46,977
Listen Jackie I think
you should call a team meeting.
1487
01:11:47,077 --> 01:11:48,520
Why?
1488
01:11:48,620 --> 01:11:52,332
'Cause you're still the leader
of the Tropics. Can you do that?
1489
01:11:56,420 --> 01:11:58,822
OK.
1490
01:11:58,922 --> 01:12:00,215
You're a good man.
1491
01:12:01,800 --> 01:12:03,118
Should we -
1492
01:12:03,218 --> 01:12:05,871
I hate to see this go to waste.
This little bit.
1493
01:12:05,971 --> 01:12:09,975
It won't go to waste.
Save that for the next guy.
1494
01:12:13,687 --> 01:12:14,755
Come on big guy.
1495
01:12:14,855 --> 01:12:17,883
I just live in a world of
urine and pancakes you know?
1496
01:12:17,983 --> 01:12:19,985
- Kinda smells that way.
- Yeah.
1497
01:12:20,652 --> 01:12:24,156
- You smell good.
- Thank you.
1498
01:12:25,824 --> 01:12:27,643
- Watch when you roll over.
- OK.
1499
01:12:27,743 --> 01:12:29,686
Watch. OK here we go.
1500
01:12:29,786 --> 01:12:31,497
- Oh my God.
- Oh ho.
1501
01:12:32,498 --> 01:12:34,833
OK.
1502
01:12:36,627 --> 01:12:38,487
If I could have
everyone's attention please.
1503
01:12:38,587 --> 01:12:40,572
Well...
1504
01:12:40,672 --> 01:12:44,410
I just wanted to take one last time
to say thank you to all of you...
1505
01:12:44,510 --> 01:12:49,181
for all your hard work
as part of the Flint Tropics.
1506
01:12:51,350 --> 01:12:55,963
My teammates it was an honor
to be on the court with you.
1507
01:12:56,063 --> 01:12:58,106
You guys are the best.
1508
01:12:59,691 --> 01:13:03,237
Even you, Vakidis.
Goddamn dumb son of a bitch.
1509
01:13:03,946 --> 01:13:06,573
You don't understand
a word I'm saying do you?
1510
01:13:07,491 --> 01:13:10,561
To the Tropic Ball Girls...
1511
01:13:10,661 --> 01:13:12,271
I always thought I was gonna sleep
with a couple of you...
1512
01:13:12,371 --> 01:13:14,957
but that--that didn't happen.
1513
01:13:17,334 --> 01:13:19,586
That'll teach me to procrastinate.
1514
01:13:20,712 --> 01:13:24,216
Bobby Dee,
you're like a son I never had.
1515
01:13:25,133 --> 01:13:29,246
The son who's exactly
the same age as me.
1516
01:13:29,346 --> 01:13:32,666
Well kinda--You're like
a half-son half-friend.
1517
01:13:32,766 --> 01:13:35,085
Friend. A son-friend.
1518
01:13:35,185 --> 01:13:40,732
No don't talk. You'll just make it worse.
I don't want to cry and wet my pants.
1519
01:13:42,943 --> 01:13:44,970
I'm not makin'
a whole lot of sense right now.
1520
01:13:47,030 --> 01:13:48,765
Hunh--
1521
01:13:48,865 --> 01:13:49,892
- Jackie?
- Yeah?
1522
01:13:49,992 --> 01:13:52,561
- Can I say a couple words?
- Please.
1523
01:13:52,661 --> 01:13:54,663
Thanks.
1524
01:13:58,375 --> 01:14:02,154
So we all know
that Clarence got traded...
1525
01:14:02,254 --> 01:14:06,158
and we all know this game
doesn't really matter anymore right?
1526
01:14:06,258 --> 01:14:08,135
I've been thinking...
1527
01:14:09,511 --> 01:14:12,306
We made it our mission
to win fourth place.
1528
01:14:14,308 --> 01:14:18,979
You know fourth place is still out there
waiting for us to take it.
1529
01:14:20,439 --> 01:14:22,274
And we're this close.
1530
01:14:23,066 --> 01:14:28,280
Now I--I tried to--to pretend that
it didn't matter if we won fourth or not.
1531
01:14:29,323 --> 01:14:31,325
The truth is...
1532
01:14:34,953 --> 01:14:39,791
I never wanted anything
more in my whole fucked-up life.
1533
01:14:40,667 --> 01:14:42,694
This game does matter.
1534
01:14:42,794 --> 01:14:43,695
It matters...
1535
01:14:43,795 --> 01:14:49,326
because this is the last real game of
basketball any of us is ever gonna play.
1536
01:14:49,426 --> 01:14:51,136
Ever.
1537
01:14:52,304 --> 01:14:56,416
Saturday night I say we leave it
all out there on the floor...
1538
01:14:56,516 --> 01:14:59,978
because there is nothing else
for us to save it for.
1539
01:15:01,605 --> 01:15:06,151
Clarence or no Clarence
NBA or no NBA...
1540
01:15:08,695 --> 01:15:10,489
this is for us.
1541
01:15:16,578 --> 01:15:18,580
Yeah. Let's do this.
1542
01:15:19,206 --> 01:15:22,067
Jackie Moon I believe you have
one more game to promote.
1543
01:15:22,167 --> 01:15:24,528
- That's right.
- Damn right.
1544
01:15:24,628 --> 01:15:27,155
- Huh? Gentlemen?
- Let's bring it in.
1545
01:15:27,255 --> 01:15:28,740
- Ladies?
- C'mon.
1546
01:15:28,840 --> 01:15:31,952
- Yeah.
- Let's go Tropics.
1547
01:15:32,052 --> 01:15:34,705
- Let me hear you say "Fourth place!"
- Fourth place!
1548
01:15:34,805 --> 01:15:36,723
- Fourth place!
- Fourth place!
1549
01:15:37,057 --> 01:15:38,684
- Fourth place!
- Fourth place!
1550
01:15:39,017 --> 01:15:40,877
- Fourth place!
- Fourth place!
1551
01:15:41,061 --> 01:15:43,797
Look, the Spurs may be
the number-one team in the league...
1552
01:15:43,897 --> 01:15:47,384
but come Saturday night
they're gonna have to prove it.
1553
01:15:47,484 --> 01:15:48,885
Turtleneck.
1554
01:15:48,985 --> 01:15:52,764
Mr. Moon since this game
doesn't actually count...
1555
01:15:52,864 --> 01:15:54,433
what exactly is your motivation?
1556
01:15:54,533 --> 01:15:59,730
On Saturday we're gonna be playing
for the Flint, Michigan Megabowl.
1557
01:15:59,830 --> 01:16:01,273
White pants.
1558
01:16:01,373 --> 01:16:03,650
Yeah I don't know if I understand
what you mean by Megabowl?
1559
01:16:03,750 --> 01:16:05,902
It's a Megabowl.
What's not to understand?
1560
01:16:06,002 --> 01:16:06,987
This is history in the making.
1561
01:16:07,087 --> 01:16:11,867
You're gonna wanna tell your grandkids
and their grandkids and their grandkids.
1562
01:16:11,967 --> 01:16:14,411
And when they look back
in the "anals" of history...
1563
01:16:14,511 --> 01:16:16,455
they're gonna be talkin'
about three things...
1564
01:16:16,555 --> 01:16:20,000
discovery of fire,
invention of the submarine...
1565
01:16:20,100 --> 01:16:21,543
and the Flint Michigan Megabowl.
1566
01:16:21,643 --> 01:16:23,378
Right but still the game doesn't count.
1567
01:16:23,478 --> 01:16:28,133
The trophy's 12 feet high.
And it is glorious. I've seen it.
1568
01:16:28,233 --> 01:16:30,302
Oh yeah and--and when
we win the game...
1569
01:16:30,402 --> 01:16:32,095
that big gun's gonna shoot off.
1570
01:16:32,195 --> 01:16:34,765
The cannon doesn't actually fire.
It's a relic.
1571
01:16:34,865 --> 01:16:36,308
We're gonna win the Megabowl.
1572
01:16:36,408 --> 01:16:39,019
Saturday! Eight o'clock!
1573
01:16:39,119 --> 01:16:40,896
Flint Michigan Megabowl!
1574
01:16:40,996 --> 01:16:45,041
Flint Michigan Megabowl!
Flint Michigan Megabowl!
1575
01:16:45,917 --> 01:16:46,860
Fourth place! Fourth place!
1576
01:16:46,960 --> 01:16:48,862
The Tropics seem to have captured
every heart...
1577
01:16:48,962 --> 01:16:50,489
in this town of underdogs.
1578
01:16:50,589 --> 01:16:52,199
People have poured in
from around the state...
1579
01:16:52,299 --> 01:16:56,078
to root for this first Megabowl
championship.
1580
01:16:56,178 --> 01:16:58,038
- Fourth place! Fourth place!
- It's a wonderful night for Flint...
1581
01:16:58,138 --> 01:17:00,849
and a wonderful night
for the Flint Fairgrounds Coliseum.
1582
01:17:02,100 --> 01:17:05,337
Now Flint will be playing
without Coffee Black their top scorer...
1583
01:17:05,437 --> 01:17:11,359
as the Spurs have traded for several
new players from around the ABA.
1584
01:17:11,777 --> 01:17:15,906
I was excited to be here
till I saw your face Coffee.
1585
01:17:27,375 --> 01:17:31,087
Why's it so quiet in here?
Somebody say somethin'!
1586
01:17:32,547 --> 01:17:34,674
Monix what time is it?
1587
01:17:36,051 --> 01:17:37,052
It's time.
1588
01:17:48,313 --> 01:17:53,385
It is a sold-out crowd here
at the Flint Fairgrounds Coliseum
1589
01:17:53,485 --> 01:17:56,221
as the Tropics walk onto the court.
1590
01:17:56,321 --> 01:17:58,974
I tell you what, Dick,
this makes a lot of sense...
1591
01:17:59,074 --> 01:18:02,394
this heroes' welcome
for this Flint Tropics team.
1592
01:18:02,494 --> 01:18:04,062
This is extraordinary.
1593
01:18:04,162 --> 01:18:06,898
Jackie Moon
is Flint's favorite son...
1594
01:18:06,998 --> 01:18:09,651
and he has done more for this city...
1595
01:18:09,751 --> 01:18:13,029
than any human being
who's ever lived on this planet!
1596
01:18:13,129 --> 01:18:17,659
With the possible exception
of, Henry Ford...
1597
01:18:17,759 --> 01:18:21,096
Jackie Moon has done a lot for this city
you're right about that.
1598
01:18:33,024 --> 01:18:35,761
Good tip to the Spurs.
Behind the back.
1599
01:18:35,861 --> 01:18:38,138
And wow! A little "How do you do?"
from Markie.
1600
01:18:38,238 --> 01:18:40,432
That's a pretty impressive start
for the Spurs.
1601
01:18:40,532 --> 01:18:43,368
Running roughshod over the Tropics.
1602
01:18:46,538 --> 01:18:48,523
Vakidis passes to Doubleday.
1603
01:18:48,623 --> 01:18:50,208
Rejected.
1604
01:18:51,167 --> 01:18:52,819
Scootsie passes to Jackie.
1605
01:18:52,919 --> 01:18:54,613
Out to Twiggy and--
1606
01:18:54,713 --> 01:18:56,656
Oh stolen by Rebenkoff.
1607
01:18:56,756 --> 01:18:57,783
He pulls up for a dagger...
1608
01:18:57,883 --> 01:18:59,743
and three points.
1609
01:18:59,843 --> 01:19:01,578
Yeah!
1610
01:19:01,678 --> 01:19:06,124
Yeah I don't feel good about this.
I may not have brought enough Scotch.
1611
01:19:06,224 --> 01:19:08,835
Oh shit!
1612
01:19:10,562 --> 01:19:13,632
It's hard to say where the Tropics
are falling down worse tonight...
1613
01:19:13,732 --> 01:19:15,467
on defense or on offense.
1614
01:19:15,567 --> 01:19:18,929
And with Coffee Black on
the Spurs bench the Tropics look lost.
1615
01:19:19,029 --> 01:19:20,806
You're goin' in Coffee Black.
1616
01:19:20,906 --> 01:19:23,783
Coach I've got back spasms.
I--I can't do it.
1617
01:19:24,576 --> 01:19:26,828
Lutz you're in.
1618
01:19:30,373 --> 01:19:31,650
Jackie! C'mon. Jackie Jackie!
1619
01:19:31,750 --> 01:19:33,360
Moon to Ellis.
1620
01:19:33,460 --> 01:19:34,611
Ellis to Munson.
1621
01:19:34,711 --> 01:19:36,905
Munson to Monix.
1622
01:19:37,005 --> 01:19:39,658
Three points! Monix responds!
1623
01:19:39,758 --> 01:19:41,576
But it will take more than
one fancy three...
1624
01:19:41,676 --> 01:19:43,803
to defeat these mighty Spurs.
1625
01:19:46,306 --> 01:19:49,709
This is easily the worst half
of basketball the Tropics have played...
1626
01:19:49,809 --> 01:19:51,503
since Monix took over as coach.
1627
01:19:51,603 --> 01:19:55,215
- Yeah it's a shit-fuckin'-sandwich Dick.
- Oh, let's watch the F-bomb, Lou.
1628
01:19:55,315 --> 01:19:56,800
With time expiring in the first half...
1629
01:19:56,900 --> 01:19:59,719
Monix splits the screen
with a pass to Moon.
1630
01:19:59,819 --> 01:20:00,929
He goes up strong--
1631
01:20:01,029 --> 01:20:02,681
Gets taken out by Petrelli.
1632
01:20:02,781 --> 01:20:06,017
I don't think I've ever seen anyone
get taken out quite that hard before.
1633
01:20:06,117 --> 01:20:08,854
This looks serious.
1634
01:20:08,954 --> 01:20:11,064
Monix you gotta hit him in the nuts!
1635
01:20:11,164 --> 01:20:13,984
Father Pat breaking up what
could have been total pandemonium.
1636
01:20:14,084 --> 01:20:16,945
- Come on.
- Jackie? Jackie.
1637
01:20:17,045 --> 01:20:19,865
- Come on back to the bench.
- Jackie?
1638
01:20:19,965 --> 01:20:21,508
He's got a pulse.
1639
01:20:22,467 --> 01:20:24,411
Let's get the stretcher.
1640
01:20:24,511 --> 01:20:27,289
- We don't have a stretcher.
- Jackie sold it.
1641
01:20:27,389 --> 01:20:28,999
- All right well let's get him up.
- Yeah come on.
1642
01:20:29,099 --> 01:20:30,417
Let's get him in the locker room
guys. Hurry.
1643
01:20:30,517 --> 01:20:31,668
Come on come on.
1644
01:20:31,768 --> 01:20:35,547
Jackie's teammates doing just
an awful job of stabilizing his spine...
1645
01:20:35,647 --> 01:20:37,424
as they carry him off the court.
1646
01:20:37,524 --> 01:20:39,693
Come on Jackie.
1647
01:21:02,257 --> 01:21:03,199
Yeah!
1648
01:21:03,299 --> 01:21:04,284
Where the hell
do you think you're goin'?
1649
01:21:04,384 --> 01:21:05,660
--Coffee!
1650
01:21:05,760 --> 01:21:08,330
You walk away from this team
you will never play in the NBA.
1651
01:21:08,430 --> 01:21:10,332
That's my son! That's my son!
1652
01:21:10,432 --> 01:21:12,959
- Go Clarence! Go Clarence!
- You hear me Coffee?
1653
01:21:13,059 --> 01:21:16,379
Look at this. Coffee Black
is walking over to the Tropics.
1654
01:21:16,479 --> 01:21:19,274
This crowd is going crazy!
1655
01:21:22,231 --> 01:21:23,610
Come on Jackie wake up.
1656
01:21:23,611 --> 01:21:25,680
Come on Jackie wake up.
1657
01:21:25,780 --> 01:21:27,933
Jackie come on
it's me it's Bobby Dee.
1658
01:21:28,033 --> 01:21:30,018
Wake up. Come on open 'em up.
1659
01:21:30,118 --> 01:21:33,121
- Hey you got any smelling salt?
- I think we do.
1660
01:21:34,122 --> 01:21:35,732
- Get up.
- Jackie.
1661
01:21:35,832 --> 01:21:37,609
Come on Jackie.
1662
01:21:37,709 --> 01:21:39,945
- Snap out of it. Hey.
- Come on baby.
1663
01:21:40,045 --> 01:21:41,212
Jackie.
1664
01:21:44,716 --> 01:21:46,051
Mom.
1665
01:21:48,386 --> 01:21:51,122
- I miss you, Mama.
- I miss you too honey.
1666
01:21:51,222 --> 01:21:55,001
- Come on little fella. Jackie.
- Jackie.
1667
01:21:55,101 --> 01:21:57,045
Clarence what are you doin' here?
1668
01:21:57,145 --> 01:22:00,757
What it look like?
I'm wit' y'all. He a'ight?
1669
01:22:00,857 --> 01:22:04,010
Are you outta your mind?
You wanna lose your NBA contract?
1670
01:22:04,110 --> 01:22:08,515
I don't care nothin' about that man. This
is our season and we gonna finish it.
1671
01:22:08,615 --> 01:22:10,308
So you're gonna blow the deal for this?
1672
01:22:10,408 --> 01:22:13,144
- Fourth place right?
- Right.
1673
01:22:13,244 --> 01:22:15,271
- Let's get Tropical.
- Right on.
1674
01:22:15,371 --> 01:22:17,540
Come on buddy. Come around.
1675
01:22:18,541 --> 01:22:20,235
Now I want you to go forward...
1676
01:22:20,335 --> 01:22:23,571
and tell the others
what I have told you here today.
1677
01:22:23,671 --> 01:22:25,323
Do you understand me son?
1678
01:22:25,423 --> 01:22:27,801
Yes Mama. You're so kind.
1679
01:22:28,802 --> 01:22:30,453
I'm sorry I stole your song.
1680
01:22:30,553 --> 01:22:33,373
Oh I forgave you for that a long time ago.
1681
01:22:33,473 --> 01:22:36,768
Jackie it's time you forgave yourself.
1682
01:22:37,811 --> 01:22:40,839
I don't wanna leave this place.
It's so fluffy.
1683
01:22:40,939 --> 01:22:44,718
Now hurry up
and don't forget what I said.
1684
01:22:44,818 --> 01:22:46,945
OK. Bye!
1685
01:22:48,113 --> 01:22:50,348
Bye Mama. Bye.
1686
01:22:50,448 --> 01:22:52,183
Bye.
1687
01:22:52,283 --> 01:22:54,936
Oh hey--I threw up Mom.
1688
01:22:55,036 --> 01:22:57,564
I know you did sweetie.
1689
01:22:57,664 --> 01:22:59,958
I threw up all by myself!
1690
01:23:02,669 --> 01:23:04,070
- That's workin'.
- Here we go. Come on Jackie.
1691
01:23:04,170 --> 01:23:06,197
A little eye flutter. Hello fella!
1692
01:23:06,297 --> 01:23:07,866
- Hey there!
- Mornin' sunshine.
1693
01:23:07,966 --> 01:23:09,075
We missed ya.
1694
01:23:09,175 --> 01:23:10,535
Oh this just in.
1695
01:23:10,635 --> 01:23:14,039
It sounds like Jackie Moon is up
and around the Tropics locker room.
1696
01:23:14,139 --> 01:23:18,585
Then fake the pass and go straight
to the basket. Twiggy how hard is it?
1697
01:23:18,685 --> 01:23:20,754
He keeps throwin' elbows.
What do you want me to do?
1698
01:23:20,854 --> 01:23:23,214
I want you to stand up to him
ya pussy.
1699
01:23:23,314 --> 01:23:26,693
Monix wait. I gotta tell
these guys somethin'.
1700
01:23:27,652 --> 01:23:29,721
I had a dream.
1701
01:23:29,821 --> 01:23:32,390
I had a dream I was in heaven.
1702
01:23:32,490 --> 01:23:35,018
And my mother spoke to me.
1703
01:23:35,118 --> 01:23:36,770
She was wearing
this flowing white gown...
1704
01:23:36,870 --> 01:23:40,648
and she showed me
a brand-new way to score a basket.
1705
01:23:40,748 --> 01:23:43,585
She called it the alley oop.
1706
01:23:44,544 --> 01:23:50,800
She spoke to me and she said
"With this gift you will win fourth place."
1707
01:23:57,849 --> 01:24:00,376
We are back in action here
at the Megabowl.
1708
01:24:00,476 --> 01:24:03,688
Coffee Black is playing for the Tropics.
1709
01:24:08,026 --> 01:24:09,469
Jackie makes the start here.
1710
01:24:09,569 --> 01:24:13,281
In fact it looks like
he's running the offense.
1711
01:24:54,280 --> 01:24:55,348
What was that?
1712
01:24:55,448 --> 01:24:57,976
I'm sorry I don't know
what just happened.
1713
01:24:58,076 --> 01:25:02,455
A very unusual series of moves
just made the ball go in.
1714
01:25:05,416 --> 01:25:06,860
Damn.
1715
01:25:06,960 --> 01:25:10,530
Yeah I don't know why Dick
but I just got an erection.
1716
01:25:15,760 --> 01:25:17,996
Foul. No two fouls.
1717
01:25:18,096 --> 01:25:21,082
Foul?! I didn't touch anybody.
1718
01:25:21,182 --> 01:25:23,168
Look Jackie people can't just
go flyin' in the air like that.
1719
01:25:23,268 --> 01:25:25,587
Oh, please. My mom
wouldn't cheat in my dreams.
1720
01:25:25,687 --> 01:25:27,922
- What?
- She's an angel!
1721
01:25:28,022 --> 01:25:29,924
Heaven wants us to win this game!
1722
01:25:30,024 --> 01:25:32,385
- I'll burn your house down!
- Oh, hold it, hold it, hold it.
1723
01:25:32,485 --> 01:25:35,263
It can't be a foul without
touchin' another player.
1724
01:25:35,363 --> 01:25:38,725
And it can't be traveling without
first establishing a pivot foot.
1725
01:25:38,825 --> 01:25:40,685
- That's right.
- It's two points Father Pat.
1726
01:25:40,785 --> 01:25:42,120
It is two points.
1727
01:25:45,915 --> 01:25:49,152
- All right I'm gonna allow it.
- That's the gospel.
1728
01:25:49,252 --> 01:25:51,362
Two points Flint.
1729
01:25:51,462 --> 01:25:52,780
Are you outta your mind?
1730
01:25:52,880 --> 01:25:54,908
- He was floating. Is this ghost ball?
- It's legal, Coach.
1731
01:25:55,008 --> 01:25:56,451
- It's legal Coach.
- What the hell is that?
1732
01:25:56,551 --> 01:25:58,369
Yeah!
1733
01:25:58,469 --> 01:26:00,705
It worked Jackie!
1734
01:26:00,805 --> 01:26:03,625
Thanks Mama!
1735
01:26:03,725 --> 01:26:06,169
Things are getting interesting
here in the second half.
1736
01:26:06,269 --> 01:26:09,255
It's the Spurs' ball
as Rebenkoff makes a shot.
1737
01:26:09,355 --> 01:26:11,816
Misses it. Rebound Tropics.
1738
01:26:15,194 --> 01:26:16,137
There it is again.
1739
01:26:16,237 --> 01:26:19,599
Clarence leaping and forcing the ball in
a downward direction through the net...
1740
01:26:19,699 --> 01:26:21,726
off of a high arching pass.
1741
01:26:21,826 --> 01:26:23,061
- It's a great play.
- It sure is.
1742
01:26:23,161 --> 01:26:27,857
Hold on. I'm just being told
that this is called an alley oop!
1743
01:26:27,957 --> 01:26:29,442
Yes that is easier to say.
1744
01:26:29,542 --> 01:26:31,169
Twig!
1745
01:26:32,170 --> 01:26:33,655
Monix passes to Jackie.
1746
01:26:33,755 --> 01:26:34,822
Jackie lobs to Clarence.
1747
01:26:34,922 --> 01:26:36,741
And then yes! Another alley oop.
1748
01:26:36,841 --> 01:26:38,576
The Spurs don't know what's hit 'em.
1749
01:26:38,676 --> 01:26:40,928
I love the alley oop!
1750
01:26:44,557 --> 01:26:45,808
Yes! Yeah!
1751
01:26:47,268 --> 01:26:49,812
I wanna take you higher
1752
01:26:52,065 --> 01:26:54,259
I wanna take you higher
1753
01:26:54,359 --> 01:26:55,301
Here comes the alley.
1754
01:26:55,401 --> 01:26:57,528
And there goes the oop!
1755
01:27:07,413 --> 01:27:08,439
Timeout white.
1756
01:27:08,539 --> 01:27:08,898
Timeout white.
1757
01:27:08,998 --> 01:27:12,151
In all my years of radio
I've never seen anything like this.
1758
01:27:12,251 --> 01:27:15,321
The Tropics have fought their way back
from a huge deficit...
1759
01:27:15,421 --> 01:27:18,950
and now with 12 seconds left
in the history of this franchise...
1760
01:27:19,050 --> 01:27:22,870
they are down by two,
and man you can feel the tension.
1761
01:27:22,970 --> 01:27:25,206
OK, guys, listen up.
They've made adjustments.
1762
01:27:25,306 --> 01:27:27,959
We can't keep runnin' the alley oop.
They're keying on Clarence.
1763
01:27:28,059 --> 01:27:30,295
So we're not gonna run the alley oop.
1764
01:27:30,395 --> 01:27:32,964
- What the hell we gonna run then?
- The puke.
1765
01:27:33,064 --> 01:27:34,173
The puke?
1766
01:27:34,273 --> 01:27:37,302
Don't tell me you've forgotten it.
I seared it into your brains.
1767
01:27:37,402 --> 01:27:40,972
- This will work OK? The puke.
- Right on.
1768
01:27:41,072 --> 01:27:42,932
I was gonna say exactly the same thing.
1769
01:27:43,032 --> 01:27:46,019
Good call. "Let's get Tropical" on three.
One two three.
1770
01:27:46,119 --> 01:27:48,187
Let's get Tropical!
1771
01:27:48,287 --> 01:27:49,731
We're down to the last play.
1772
01:27:49,831 --> 01:27:51,149
Monix inbounds to Jackie.
1773
01:27:51,249 --> 01:27:53,151
Jackie passes right back to Monix.
1774
01:27:53,251 --> 01:27:54,986
Monix back to Jackie.
1775
01:27:55,086 --> 01:27:57,572
The Tropics have gotta
make a move here Dick.
1776
01:27:57,672 --> 01:27:59,991
Yeah they need to find a way
to the hole and fast.
1777
01:28:00,091 --> 01:28:03,328
Monix finds Bee Bee.
Back door to Jackie. He goes up strong--
1778
01:28:03,428 --> 01:28:06,456
- Fouled hard by Petrelli!
- Eat shit Petrelli!
1779
01:28:06,556 --> 01:28:08,182
Don't you know
how to play basketball?
1780
01:28:09,934 --> 01:28:11,878
Father Pat struggles to keep order...
1781
01:28:11,978 --> 01:28:14,589
between these two tough
competitive teams.
1782
01:28:14,689 --> 01:28:18,593
All right. Black. Four-two.
With the body. Two shots.
1783
01:28:18,693 --> 01:28:21,804
- Come on Jackie!
- Jackie will shoot two free throws here.
1784
01:28:21,904 --> 01:28:25,266
His team down by two
with two seconds left on the clock.
1785
01:28:25,366 --> 01:28:29,062
All right, gentlemen.
Relax on the first one we got two here.
1786
01:28:29,162 --> 01:28:31,356
Come on Jackie.
1787
01:28:31,456 --> 01:28:35,109
Don't worry guys. I got these.
I'm very good at free throws.
1788
01:28:35,209 --> 01:28:39,464
Seriously free throws are probably
the best facet of my game.
1789
01:28:42,467 --> 01:28:45,119
What the hell are you doin' Jackie?
1790
01:28:45,219 --> 01:28:47,705
What, you never see me
shoot free throws before?
1791
01:28:47,805 --> 01:28:50,208
He's shootin' granny style.
Let 'im do his thing.
1792
01:28:50,308 --> 01:28:51,709
Always has.
1793
01:28:51,809 --> 01:28:53,811
Shit.
1794
01:28:54,812 --> 01:28:56,355
Here we go.
1795
01:28:57,982 --> 01:29:02,053
Jackie Moon holding the fate of Flint
in his fingertips.
1796
01:29:02,153 --> 01:29:04,947
- He kisses the ball for good luck.
- Sweet sugar.
1797
01:29:08,576 --> 01:29:10,645
It's good!
1798
01:29:10,745 --> 01:29:13,981
- Yes!
- Never doubted you Jackie. Come on.
1799
01:29:14,081 --> 01:29:16,234
The Tropics need one more
to stay alive.
1800
01:29:16,334 --> 01:29:18,152
Watch the lines. Move on the release.
1801
01:29:18,252 --> 01:29:22,048
- Go Jackie!
- One more Jackie.
1802
01:30:40,501 --> 01:30:43,654
Flint wins the Megabowl!
Flint wins the Megabowl!
1803
01:30:43,754 --> 01:30:45,715
Flint wins the Megabowl!
1804
01:30:47,592 --> 01:30:50,161
- Fourth place! Fourth place!
- Move on up
1805
01:30:50,261 --> 01:30:54,432
- Go Tropics! Go Tropics! Go Tropics!
- And keep on wishin'
1806
01:30:55,099 --> 01:30:58,127
- Stacey!
- Kiss me my hero!
1807
01:30:58,227 --> 01:31:01,647
I--I--I can't my mom said
your vagina's for sad people.
1808
01:31:02,732 --> 01:31:04,717
But we won the Megabowl!
1809
01:31:04,817 --> 01:31:06,177
Fourth place!
1810
01:31:06,277 --> 01:31:08,971
One two three? No! In your face!
1811
01:31:09,071 --> 01:31:10,281
With just a little faith
1812
01:31:12,366 --> 01:31:14,493
You can surely do it
1813
01:31:17,079 --> 01:31:19,023
Who's number four?
Who's number four?
1814
01:31:19,123 --> 01:31:22,985
- Yeah, Scoots!
- Oh God. We really did it.
1815
01:31:23,085 --> 01:31:26,547
Just a moment.
Just a moment please. Don't--
1816
01:31:29,091 --> 01:31:32,078
- What are you doin'?
- Just move on up
1817
01:31:32,178 --> 01:31:34,956
- Fourth place! Fourth place!
- And peace you will find
1818
01:31:35,056 --> 01:31:36,891
Fourth place! Fourth place!
1819
01:31:37,224 --> 01:31:40,795
- Into the steeple of beautiful people
- Fourth place! Fourth place!
1820
01:31:40,895 --> 01:31:42,772
Where there's only one kind
1821
01:31:44,982 --> 01:31:46,926
Yeah! Who's pushing like us?
1822
01:31:47,026 --> 01:31:48,261
- Yeah!
- Yeah!
1823
01:31:48,361 --> 01:31:49,303
- Hey Coffee.
- What?
1824
01:31:49,403 --> 01:31:54,016
I've changed my mind. I think we could
use that alley oop of yours in the NBA.
1825
01:31:54,116 --> 01:31:55,101
Hoo hoo!
1826
01:31:55,201 --> 01:31:57,770
Thanks Coach! Mama!
1827
01:31:57,870 --> 01:32:00,064
- The NBA!
- Haaa!
1828
01:32:00,164 --> 01:32:02,692
- Hey!
- Yeah baby!
1829
01:32:02,792 --> 01:32:05,319
- Way to go!
- Thank you.
1830
01:32:05,419 --> 01:32:08,531
Move on up
1831
01:32:08,631 --> 01:32:10,324
And keep on wishin'
1832
01:32:10,424 --> 01:32:12,593
- Yes!
- Yeah!
1833
01:32:13,928 --> 01:32:17,039
- We did it! Yeah!
- Yeah!
1834
01:32:17,139 --> 01:32:18,082
- Jackie!
- Hey!
1835
01:32:18,182 --> 01:32:20,751
- Congratulations on the Megabowl!
- Thank you.
1836
01:32:20,851 --> 01:32:22,587
- Whatever that is.
- It's very exciting!
1837
01:32:22,687 --> 01:32:24,505
- Yeah.
- You're a hell of a promoter!
1838
01:32:24,605 --> 01:32:25,590
Yeah.
1839
01:32:25,690 --> 01:32:28,593
Listen, I'm gonna be working
with the Commissioner of the NBA--
1840
01:32:28,693 --> 01:32:30,595
and I want you to join me.
1841
01:32:30,695 --> 01:32:33,806
Me in the NBA?! Really?
1842
01:32:33,906 --> 01:32:37,184
My God thank you.
Can I bring my son-friend with me?
1843
01:32:37,284 --> 01:32:39,562
- Oh Jackie you don't have to do that.
- Yes, I do.
1844
01:32:39,662 --> 01:32:42,023
Mark my words
as long as I'm alive you'll both--
1845
01:32:44,250 --> 01:32:47,111
Everybody panic!
1846
01:32:47,211 --> 01:32:49,905
It's just like the Titanic
but it's full of bears!
1847
01:32:50,005 --> 01:32:50,589
It's just like the Titanic
but it's full of bears!
1848
01:32:53,843 --> 01:32:55,536
Yeah
1849
01:32:55,636 --> 01:32:57,555
Hey
1850
01:32:59,515 --> 01:33:01,726
When you wish upon a star
1851
01:33:04,061 --> 01:33:06,380
Your dream
will take you very far yeah
1852
01:33:06,480 --> 01:33:08,466
"Dear Dukes.
I'm sorry it took so long...
1853
01:33:08,566 --> 01:33:10,968
"but in this bag is 10000 dollars cash."
1854
01:33:11,068 --> 01:33:13,929
No way. Really?
1855
01:33:14,029 --> 01:33:15,806
"Actually it's only 2300.
1856
01:33:15,906 --> 01:33:19,352
"I'll be payin' you the rest
right after they finish my merger buyout.
1857
01:33:19,452 --> 01:33:22,855
"Let's get Tropical. Jackie R. Moon."
1858
01:33:22,955 --> 01:33:25,232
In the sky so very dear
1859
01:33:25,332 --> 01:33:27,443
Bitchin'. Bitchin'.
1860
01:33:27,543 --> 01:33:29,654
- You're a shinin' star
- Let's get Tropical!
1861
01:33:29,754 --> 01:33:32,114
No matter who you are
1862
01:33:32,214 --> 01:33:34,367
Shinin' bright to see
1863
01:33:34,467 --> 01:33:38,262
What you can truly be
What you can truly be
1864
01:33:53,652 --> 01:33:55,946
Shining star come into view
1865
01:33:58,115 --> 01:34:02,687
Shine its watchful light on you yeah
1866
01:34:02,787 --> 01:34:06,732
Gives you strength to carry on yeah
1867
01:34:06,832 --> 01:34:11,170
Yeah make your body
big and strong
1868
01:34:12,087 --> 01:34:16,659
You're a shining star
no matter who you are
1869
01:34:16,759 --> 01:34:21,163
Shining bright to see
what you can truly be
1870
01:34:21,263 --> 01:34:25,626
You're a shining star
no matter who you are
1871
01:34:25,726 --> 01:34:30,548
Shining bright to see
what you can truly be
1872
01:34:30,648 --> 01:34:32,883
Shining star for you to see
1873
01:34:32,983 --> 01:34:35,136
What your life can truly be
1874
01:34:35,236 --> 01:34:39,724
Shining star for you to see
what your life can truly be
1875
01:34:39,824 --> 01:34:41,934
Shining star for you to see
1876
01:34:42,034 --> 01:34:44,245
What your life can truly be
1877
01:34:51,085 --> 01:34:52,361
Come on girl
1878
01:34:52,461 --> 01:34:53,738
Yeah
1879
01:34:53,838 --> 01:34:56,323
- It's me Jackie Moon
- Love me sexy
1880
01:34:56,423 --> 01:34:57,950
Don't gimme that look
1881
01:34:58,050 --> 01:35:00,578
That's right let's get sweaty
1882
01:35:00,678 --> 01:35:02,496
Let's get real sweaty
1883
01:35:02,596 --> 01:35:05,040
I'm talkin' rainforest sweaty
1884
01:35:05,140 --> 01:35:08,294
- I'm talkin' swamp sweaty
- Love me sexy
1885
01:35:08,394 --> 01:35:11,005
Let's fill the bathtub full of sweat
1886
01:35:11,105 --> 01:35:13,132
All right
1887
01:35:13,232 --> 01:35:17,928
Baby who wants to
love me sexy?
1888
01:35:18,028 --> 01:35:18,929
Love me sexy
1889
01:35:19,029 --> 01:35:23,684
Baby are you ready
to lick me sexy?
1890
01:35:23,784 --> 01:35:24,727
Lick me sexy
1891
01:35:24,827 --> 01:35:27,646
Take off your shoes
and suck me sexy
1892
01:35:27,746 --> 01:35:30,316
Suck me, suck me,
suck suck me sexy
1893
01:35:30,416 --> 01:35:34,904
Baby, we're naked
and we're humpin' sexy
1894
01:35:35,004 --> 01:35:36,322
Humpin' sexy
1895
01:35:36,422 --> 01:35:41,952
I wanna do a little thing wit' you
I wanna do a little thing wit' you
1896
01:35:42,052 --> 01:35:44,955
When I say "love me"
you say "sexy"
1897
01:35:45,055 --> 01:35:46,457
- Love me
- Sexy
1898
01:35:46,557 --> 01:35:47,875
- Sexy
- Love me sexy
1899
01:35:47,975 --> 01:35:50,795
- Back it on up and showin' you
- I wanna do
1900
01:35:50,895 --> 01:35:52,213
That lovin' me sexy is the thing to do
1901
01:35:52,313 --> 01:35:53,672
Oh yeah
1902
01:35:53,772 --> 01:35:55,132
- Your body says love me
- Love me
1903
01:35:55,232 --> 01:35:56,467
- Your mind says sexy
- Sexy
1904
01:35:56,567 --> 01:35:59,470
Love me sexy
1905
01:35:59,570 --> 01:36:03,808
Baby who wants to
love me sexy?
1906
01:36:03,908 --> 01:36:05,309
Love me sexy
1907
01:36:05,409 --> 01:36:10,022
Baby are you ready
to lick me sexy?
1908
01:36:10,122 --> 01:36:11,065
Lick me sexy
1909
01:36:11,165 --> 01:36:14,360
Take off your shoes
and suck me sexy
1910
01:36:14,460 --> 01:36:16,821
Suck me, suck me,
suck suck me sexy
1911
01:36:16,921 --> 01:36:21,492
Baby, we're naked
and we're humpin' sexy
1912
01:36:21,592 --> 01:36:22,660
Humpin' sexy
1913
01:36:22,760 --> 01:36:23,702
Freak of the week
1914
01:36:23,802 --> 01:36:25,329
Are you in the mood
1915
01:36:25,429 --> 01:36:28,332
To fly to the stars
with Jackie Moon?
1916
01:36:28,432 --> 01:36:30,334
When I say "love me"
you say "sexy"
1917
01:36:30,434 --> 01:36:31,335
Oh yeah
1918
01:36:31,435 --> 01:36:32,711
- Love me
- Sexy
1919
01:36:32,811 --> 01:36:34,171
- Sexy
- Sexy
1920
01:36:34,271 --> 01:36:37,049
Our Zodiac signs are compatible
1921
01:36:37,149 --> 01:36:39,635
Clockin' that ass
from across the room
1922
01:36:39,735 --> 01:36:41,011
- Your body says love me
- Love me
1923
01:36:41,111 --> 01:36:42,888
- Your mind says sexy
- Sexy
1924
01:36:42,988 --> 01:36:45,808
Love me sexy
1925
01:36:45,908 --> 01:36:50,521
Baby who wants to
love me sexy?
1926
01:36:50,621 --> 01:36:51,564
Love me sexy
1927
01:36:51,664 --> 01:36:56,318
Baby are you ready to lick me sexy?
1928
01:36:56,418 --> 01:36:57,361
Lick me sexy
1929
01:36:57,461 --> 01:37:00,239
Take off your shoes
and suck me sexy
1930
01:37:00,339 --> 01:37:02,992
Suck me, suck me,
suck suck me sexy
1931
01:37:03,092 --> 01:37:07,454
Baby, we're naked
and we're humpin' sexy
1932
01:37:07,554 --> 01:37:09,456
Humpin' sexy
1933
01:37:09,556 --> 01:37:11,850
That's right girl
1934
01:37:12,851 --> 01:37:15,296
- Let me whisper in your ear
- Love me sexy
1935
01:37:15,396 --> 01:37:16,422
Baby wake up
1936
01:37:16,522 --> 01:37:19,149
We're naked
and we're humpin' sexy
1937
01:37:21,485 --> 01:37:24,054
For the last 15 minutes baby
1938
01:37:24,154 --> 01:37:25,180
That's what's been happenin'
1939
01:37:25,280 --> 01:37:27,266
- Love me sexy
- Yeah
1940
01:37:27,366 --> 01:37:29,910
Too late now it's on
1941
01:37:32,162 --> 01:37:36,817
Baby, who wants to love me sexy?
1942
01:37:36,917 --> 01:37:37,860
Love me sexy
1943
01:37:37,960 --> 01:37:42,573
Baby are you ready
to lick me sexy?
1944
01:37:42,673 --> 01:37:43,657
Lick me sexy
1945
01:37:43,757 --> 01:37:47,077
Take off your shoes
and suck me sexy
1946
01:37:47,177 --> 01:37:49,288
Suck me, suck me,
suck suck me sexy
1947
01:37:49,388 --> 01:37:53,267
Baby, we're naked
and we're humpin' sexy
1948
01:37:54,268 --> 01:37:57,046
Who wants to love me sexy?
1949
01:37:57,146 --> 01:37:59,590
Is it you? Is it you?
1950
01:37:59,690 --> 01:38:02,509
- Love me sexy
- Are you ready to lick me sexy?
1951
01:38:02,609 --> 01:38:05,387
Is it you? Oh is it you?
1952
01:38:05,487 --> 01:38:06,430
- Take off your shoes
- Lick me sexy
1953
01:38:06,530 --> 01:38:08,599
And suck me sexy
1954
01:38:08,699 --> 01:38:11,185
Is it you? Or is it you?
1955
01:38:11,285 --> 01:38:14,605
Baby, we're naked
and we're humpin' sexy
1956
01:38:14,705 --> 01:38:17,816
Where are you precious?
1957
01:38:17,916 --> 01:38:20,294
Dewie?