1 00:00:05,800 --> 00:00:35,800 2 00:00:48,281 --> 00:00:52,183 Listen, you're in a privileged position to learn a thing or two. 3 00:00:52,285 --> 00:00:54,776 Keep your mouth shut and your eyes open. 4 00:00:54,888 --> 00:00:56,378 Runteldat. 5 00:01:33,193 --> 00:01:36,219 I been through so much, you know, in my life, so... 6 00:01:36,329 --> 00:01:39,093 I kind of wanted to get back out and tell my own story. 7 00:01:41,634 --> 00:01:45,832 Maryland, DC, is my hometown, so I grew up here. 8 00:01:48,741 --> 00:01:52,871 I'm a little man, so you kind of get the 'little man"complex sometimes. 9 00:01:52,979 --> 00:01:55,106 You feel like you gotta fight for everything. 10 00:01:55,215 --> 00:01:59,049 You even gotta fight for when the french fries have been taken from you. 11 00:02:28,081 --> 00:02:30,447 First of all. We would like to thank God... 12 00:02:30,550 --> 00:02:34,850 who just helping us to see another day to get up to bring you comedy. 13 00:02:34,954 --> 00:02:38,219 Can you hear what the fuck I'm saying? 14 00:02:44,864 --> 00:02:47,389 I'm not saying that all people in the media are bad. 15 00:02:47,500 --> 00:02:51,129 Some of them do theirjob. Some of them do the research... 16 00:02:51,237 --> 00:02:53,228 and they report the truth. 17 00:02:53,339 --> 00:02:55,239 Actor and comedian Martin Lawrence... 18 00:02:55,341 --> 00:02:58,208 was apprehended by Los Angeles police offiicers yesterday... 19 00:02:58,311 --> 00:03:02,008 after he was discovered in the middle of one of LA 's most congested streets... 20 00:03:02,115 --> 00:03:04,845 hurling obscenities at passing cars. 21 00:03:04,951 --> 00:03:07,511 The popular television personality was admitted to a nearby hospital... 22 00:03:07,620 --> 00:03:11,112 by LAPD offiicers after they subdued him by force. 23 00:03:13,393 --> 00:03:17,056 No one is immune to the trials and tribulations of life. 24 00:03:17,163 --> 00:03:20,098 No one. We all have ups, and we all have downs. 25 00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:22,168 I mean, that's just life. 26 00:03:23,670 --> 00:03:25,865 Martin Lawrence's current scrape with the law... 27 00:03:25,972 --> 00:03:28,031 could be evidence of Martin's mania. 28 00:03:28,141 --> 00:03:30,541 Something's obviously gone wrong in this man's head. 29 00:03:30,643 --> 00:03:33,134 I mean, hejust settled a case out of court... 30 00:03:33,246 --> 00:03:36,238 because he attacked somebody with a bottle who was making a toast. 31 00:03:36,349 --> 00:03:39,716 Why? Well, apparently, he didn't like the phrasing. 32 00:03:39,819 --> 00:03:43,983 Martin's acting like a madman, and people don't think it's funny. 33 00:03:44,090 --> 00:03:47,082 But other people in the media, some reporters... 34 00:03:47,193 --> 00:03:50,185 and some tabloids, they ain't interested in the truth. 35 00:03:50,296 --> 00:03:52,764 All right? They like to sensationalize bullshit. 36 00:03:52,865 --> 00:03:54,833 You do the math. 37 00:03:54,934 --> 00:03:56,561 From bad boy on the big screen... 38 00:03:56,669 --> 00:03:58,261 to a menace in real life... 39 00:03:58,371 --> 00:04:02,307 how far will Martin's fans go to stand behind their tarnished hero? 40 00:04:04,043 --> 00:04:07,342 It's easy to fade into obscurity in Hollywood. Martin better watch out. 41 00:04:08,881 --> 00:04:12,442 If Martin doesn't clean up his act, he's not gonna be acting anywhere. 42 00:04:14,187 --> 00:04:17,452 - I'm not perfect. I'm only human. - Important words to live by. 43 00:04:18,825 --> 00:04:22,090 Fuck 'em. Fuck 'em. Girl. Fuck 'em. 44 00:04:25,431 --> 00:04:28,628 We're all one 'cause we're all human, you know. 45 00:04:28,735 --> 00:04:32,227 We experience a lot of the same things. Just as we wake, we sleep. 46 00:04:32,338 --> 00:04:34,306 Just as we live, we die. 47 00:04:34,407 --> 00:04:36,932 That's just life, human nature. 48 00:04:47,020 --> 00:04:49,614 He had a body temperature registering... 49 00:04:49,722 --> 00:04:53,158 at slightly over 107 degrees Fahrenheit. 50 00:04:53,259 --> 00:04:55,784 He was, at that time, in a coma and unresponsive. 51 00:04:55,895 --> 00:04:59,023 Fuck dying. Fuck dying. 52 00:05:00,199 --> 00:05:03,430 Mama said. "The world is yours. Don't sleep." 53 00:05:04,671 --> 00:05:06,070 Fuck dying. 54 00:05:06,172 --> 00:05:08,163 After spending three days in a coma... 55 00:05:08,274 --> 00:05:10,174 Martin Lawrence's condition is improving. 56 00:05:10,276 --> 00:05:12,744 His eyes will focus on a person. 57 00:05:12,845 --> 00:05:17,214 He can't talk just yet because we do have a tube down his throat. 58 00:05:17,317 --> 00:05:19,547 But he is alert, and he is improving. 59 00:05:19,652 --> 00:05:22,280 One of the achievements I'm most proud of is... 60 00:05:22,388 --> 00:05:24,515 to be where I'm at in this business today... 61 00:05:24,624 --> 00:05:26,353 after everything that I've been through. 62 00:05:27,060 --> 00:05:29,995 You know, I can honestly say I'm blessed. 63 00:05:32,365 --> 00:05:34,799 There's all kind of folks that was just negative... 64 00:05:34,901 --> 00:05:36,869 when it came to Marty. 65 00:05:36,969 --> 00:05:37,867 - I remember that shit. - Right. 66 00:05:37,970 --> 00:05:40,700 Well. We still here. and they can run tell that. 67 00:05:40,807 --> 00:05:42,274 Runteldat. Nigger. 68 00:06:20,513 --> 00:06:22,572 We've been mashing city to city for six months... 69 00:06:22,682 --> 00:06:25,242 putting this tour together. 70 00:06:25,351 --> 00:06:27,478 I think doing stand-up comedy... 71 00:06:27,587 --> 00:06:30,249 is one of the hardest things that somebody could do, you know? 72 00:06:33,659 --> 00:06:37,493 You know, when you get on stage and you got the microphone... 73 00:06:37,597 --> 00:06:40,225 and thousands of people, you know... 74 00:06:40,333 --> 00:06:43,734 waiting for you to make 'em laugh, you got to bring it. 75 00:06:55,848 --> 00:06:58,681 That's why I love it. You know, it's a challenge. 76 00:07:00,019 --> 00:07:02,385 It's who I am. 77 00:07:02,488 --> 00:07:04,683 Yeah, it's game time. 78 00:07:17,870 --> 00:07:22,307 Ladies and gentlemen, Martin Lawrence! 79 00:07:28,981 --> 00:07:29,879 Come on! 80 00:08:27,173 --> 00:08:28,508 DC. I love you. 81 00:08:28,508 --> 00:08:29,440 DC. I love you. 82 00:08:30,543 --> 00:08:32,636 I'm home. I'm home. 83 00:08:32,745 --> 00:08:34,940 I love you so much. Thank you. 84 00:08:35,047 --> 00:08:37,538 That was... Hey. What can I say? 85 00:08:38,684 --> 00:08:40,652 You make it all worth it. 86 00:08:40,753 --> 00:08:43,984 What can I say. You know? This is what it's about. 87 00:08:46,058 --> 00:08:47,525 Thank you. 88 00:08:47,627 --> 00:08:51,688 Oh. Man. And y'all look good. Everybody's dressed tonight. 89 00:08:51,797 --> 00:08:54,732 Came out. "Fuck it. We going to see that nigger. Fuck it. 90 00:08:54,834 --> 00:08:58,133 Show him some love." Well. I had to come out tonight. 91 00:08:58,237 --> 00:09:01,673 I don't know if you just saw the film... the tape and everything. 92 00:09:01,774 --> 00:09:04,436 I said. "Fuck it. I got to come out and tell my own story." 93 00:09:04,544 --> 00:09:09,038 I ain't waitin' for the E! True Hollywood Story to tell my shit. 94 00:09:09,148 --> 00:09:10,308 You know what I mean? 95 00:09:10,416 --> 00:09:13,078 Fuck that. I got to tell my own shit. 96 00:09:13,185 --> 00:09:16,120 I see you. Baby. Hey. How you doin'? 97 00:09:16,222 --> 00:09:19,487 Yeah. Hello. The ladies just screamin' like a motherfucker. 98 00:09:20,626 --> 00:09:22,059 Yeah. Thank you. I know. 99 00:09:22,161 --> 00:09:25,619 But if you want to scream. please send your panties up here. Okay? 100 00:09:25,731 --> 00:09:27,699 Just put your number on your panties... 101 00:09:27,800 --> 00:09:30,132 and I'll get back according to the smell. 102 00:09:33,205 --> 00:09:37,835 Before I left the hotel. I was watching something on TV... this lady. 103 00:09:37,944 --> 00:09:40,208 I'm gonna say. If you smoke. please be careful... 104 00:09:40,313 --> 00:09:42,804 'cause I saw this lady on TV had a hole in her neck. 105 00:09:42,915 --> 00:09:45,042 It was real bad. Anybody see that shit? 106 00:09:45,151 --> 00:09:47,346 She was smoking the cigarette with her neck. And she's. Like... 107 00:09:48,654 --> 00:09:51,214 And blowing the O's and shit with her neck. 108 00:09:51,324 --> 00:09:54,521 Did anybody see that? Please be careful if you smoke. 109 00:09:54,627 --> 00:09:58,996 'Cause that lady had a hole in her neck. You could see food falling. 110 00:09:59,098 --> 00:10:02,431 When she eat. You could see string beans and pudding and all that shit. 111 00:10:03,202 --> 00:10:06,467 You know? I bet her breath don't stink. 112 00:10:06,572 --> 00:10:09,040 Her neck probably fuckin' stink. huh. Man? 113 00:10:09,141 --> 00:10:12,770 You just put a fuckin' Altoid in her neck and shit. 114 00:10:12,878 --> 00:10:15,540 If she choke on something. You ain't gotta worry about the Heimlich. 115 00:10:15,648 --> 00:10:17,843 You just go right in the neck. Got that. 116 00:10:17,950 --> 00:10:20,919 Yeah. A piece of gristle. Baby. That's all that was. A piece of gristle. 117 00:10:22,288 --> 00:10:25,257 You got to love a woman with a hole in her neck. Fellas. You do. 118 00:10:25,358 --> 00:10:28,589 Take her out to eat and shit. Got a hole in her fuckin' neck. 119 00:10:28,694 --> 00:10:31,288 But you get mad. "Look. Goddamn it. Look at your neck. 120 00:10:31,397 --> 00:10:35,163 What have you got to fuckin' come to the restaurant with your neck all out? 121 00:10:35,267 --> 00:10:38,168 Got the fuckin' maître d' looking at ya. Shit. Goddamn. 122 00:10:38,270 --> 00:10:40,966 Oh. You couldn't put on a turtleneck or nothin' tonight? 123 00:10:41,073 --> 00:10:44,509 Couldn't put no mock neck on? None of that shit?" 124 00:10:46,112 --> 00:10:49,673 They say this lady got a man. I know they be doing some freaky shit. 125 00:10:49,782 --> 00:10:51,716 I know he come home. "Baby... 126 00:10:51,817 --> 00:10:54,479 I want to do something a little different tonight. 127 00:10:55,521 --> 00:10:57,955 Let me put my dick in your neck. 128 00:10:58,057 --> 00:11:01,584 Oh. That's some good neck there. That's some good neck there. 129 00:11:01,694 --> 00:11:05,186 Fuck head. I said neck. I like neck." 130 00:11:05,297 --> 00:11:07,492 Her ass straight to here and shit. 131 00:11:16,876 --> 00:11:18,844 And I'd like to say... 132 00:11:18,944 --> 00:11:20,969 if there's any critics here tonight... 133 00:11:21,080 --> 00:11:23,480 fuck you and kiss my ass. 134 00:11:24,583 --> 00:11:27,780 I don't give a shit about you. 135 00:11:27,887 --> 00:11:30,378 They're like the scum of the earth to me. Fuck them. 136 00:11:30,489 --> 00:11:32,514 I can't stand a critic. 137 00:11:32,625 --> 00:11:35,116 My mother don't like me to say that I hate. But I can't stand 'em. 138 00:11:35,227 --> 00:11:38,856 What the fuck is a critic anyway? That's somebody that can't do what you can do... 139 00:11:38,964 --> 00:11:41,797 so they want to criticize your shit. 140 00:11:41,901 --> 00:11:44,699 You know what I mean? Think they authority on some shit. 141 00:11:44,804 --> 00:11:48,672 You want to criticize somethin'. criticize these nuts. 142 00:11:49,742 --> 00:11:51,209 Fuck you. 143 00:11:51,310 --> 00:11:54,541 I don't see you talkin' about my balls on the news. 144 00:11:54,647 --> 00:11:58,105 "One of Martin's balls is bigger than the other. 145 00:11:58,217 --> 00:12:02,017 I give that a two star." Get the fuck out of here. Man. 146 00:12:03,089 --> 00:12:06,422 But you know what? When I think about everything that's going on... 147 00:12:07,760 --> 00:12:11,321 Critics are so unimportant to what's going on with the USA attacks... 148 00:12:11,430 --> 00:12:14,991 everything that happened here. The Pentagon and New York. All that stuff. 149 00:12:15,101 --> 00:12:19,765 My heart goes out to families that have went through all this and lost people. 150 00:12:19,872 --> 00:12:22,238 I feel for 'em. 151 00:12:22,341 --> 00:12:26,209 And it's a sad thing. It really is a sad thing because... 152 00:12:26,312 --> 00:12:29,372 I'm glad to be an American. This is the best country in the world. 153 00:12:29,482 --> 00:12:31,541 I can say that. You know. 154 00:12:31,650 --> 00:12:36,280 I wouldn't want to be nowhere else. but when I seen this shit happen... 155 00:12:36,388 --> 00:12:39,482 I think any of us could've been on them planes and anything that happened... 156 00:12:39,592 --> 00:12:41,560 been in one of them buildings that they crashed into. 157 00:12:41,660 --> 00:12:43,924 Any-fuckin'-body in here. Know what I mean? 158 00:12:44,029 --> 00:12:47,055 If it affects one person. it affects us all. 159 00:12:47,166 --> 00:12:50,966 And now my nerves are bad. y'all. After this shit. 160 00:12:51,070 --> 00:12:54,039 I got to drink Milk of Magnesia and shit. 161 00:12:54,140 --> 00:12:57,837 Every time before I board a plane. I don't know what the fuck's going on. 162 00:12:57,943 --> 00:13:01,344 But out of all this. This is one of the first times in a long time... 163 00:13:01,447 --> 00:13:04,439 since I don't know when... This is one of the first times... 164 00:13:04,550 --> 00:13:08,179 I seen black and white people together on something. Standing for a cause. 165 00:13:08,287 --> 00:13:10,721 It wasn't about race. It's just about life. 166 00:13:10,823 --> 00:13:13,291 You know what I mean? Nothin' else but life. 167 00:13:13,392 --> 00:13:15,360 Together on somethin'. 168 00:13:15,461 --> 00:13:17,759 We will get together and fuck you up today... 169 00:13:17,863 --> 00:13:20,331 on this USA attacks. you know what I mean? 170 00:13:20,432 --> 00:13:22,559 I ain't seen black and white people together since... 171 00:13:22,668 --> 00:13:25,728 Stevie Wonder and Paul McCartney did "Ebony and Ivory." 172 00:13:29,475 --> 00:13:31,670 So now. If I go to board a plane. if you like me... 173 00:13:31,777 --> 00:13:34,769 you get nervous as a motherfucker. you see somebody boardin'. 174 00:13:34,880 --> 00:13:36,677 You sit there talking to your white friend. 175 00:13:36,782 --> 00:13:38,750 "What's up. White boy. I don't know you... 176 00:13:38,851 --> 00:13:42,446 but we getting on this plane together and shit. Might as well be together. 177 00:13:43,956 --> 00:13:46,720 Who's that motherfucker getting on the plane right there? 178 00:13:46,826 --> 00:13:50,489 You don't know that motherfucker? Oh. Shit. 179 00:13:50,596 --> 00:13:52,063 Hakbim. 180 00:13:53,532 --> 00:13:56,126 You about to get on this motherfuckin' plane. Man? 181 00:13:56,235 --> 00:13:59,636 Don't start no motherfuckin' shit when we get on this plane. All right? 182 00:13:59,738 --> 00:14:01,831 I'll punch you in your motherfuckin' mouth. Nigger. 183 00:14:01,941 --> 00:14:05,399 Nigger. Don't go for your hands. Don't move your hands. Hold on. 184 00:14:05,511 --> 00:14:08,537 What you got in your shoes. Nigger? What the fuck you got in your shoes? 185 00:14:08,647 --> 00:14:11,582 I'm-a tell you. Don't start no shit when we get on this plane. Nigger. 186 00:14:11,684 --> 00:14:15,176 I will knock your motherfuckin' ass the fuck out. I ain't playin'. 187 00:14:15,287 --> 00:14:18,779 We ain't done shit. Don't start nothin'. 188 00:14:18,891 --> 00:14:22,122 'Cause the white boy can wrestle. and I can box. Motherfucker. 189 00:14:24,096 --> 00:14:26,758 He'll tackle your ass. and I'll punch the fuck out you. 190 00:14:29,101 --> 00:14:31,069 Don't start no shit." 191 00:14:31,971 --> 00:14:34,872 But your nerves is bad with these USA attacks and shit. 192 00:14:34,974 --> 00:14:38,501 You don't know what's going on. They lookin' for bin Laden. 193 00:14:38,611 --> 00:14:40,704 They ain't found his ass yet. 194 00:14:40,813 --> 00:14:46,410 How you not find... You blew up all that shit. And you ain't found bin Laden yet? 195 00:14:46,518 --> 00:14:48,645 That motherfucker at a club right now. 196 00:14:55,728 --> 00:14:57,855 What the fuck is that shit about? 197 00:14:57,963 --> 00:15:01,296 Ain't found no bin Laden. You know why? 198 00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:04,528 'Cause a lot of motherfuckers look like bin Laden. 199 00:15:04,637 --> 00:15:08,038 There's a nigger in McDonald's right now look just like bin Laden. 200 00:15:08,140 --> 00:15:10,472 Got a high-top fade and every-fuckin'-thing. 201 00:15:10,576 --> 00:15:12,771 You walk in that motherfucker to get a cheeseburger... 202 00:15:14,380 --> 00:15:16,405 "Bin Laden! That's bin Laden! 203 00:15:16,515 --> 00:15:18,483 Call the government. That's motherfuckin' bin Laden. 204 00:15:18,584 --> 00:15:20,916 I know a motherfuckin' bin Laden when I see... 205 00:15:21,020 --> 00:15:23,454 Call the Taliban. Nigger. That's him." 206 00:15:25,691 --> 00:15:28,285 'Cause they looked. Man. You can't even find his ass. 207 00:15:28,394 --> 00:15:31,090 I almost fucked an Indian up on the way in here. 208 00:15:31,196 --> 00:15:34,859 He said. "No. I Indian. I Indian." I said. "Pull your turban up. Nigger. 209 00:15:36,702 --> 00:15:39,933 Let me see a dot or somethin'. motherfucker. 210 00:15:40,039 --> 00:15:43,805 I'll fuck your ass up. Don't start no shit. 211 00:15:43,909 --> 00:15:46,241 I'll crack that fuckin' dot. Don't start it." 212 00:15:48,614 --> 00:15:52,744 It's just all crazy. What's this shit about you can't open up mail? 213 00:15:52,851 --> 00:15:57,311 What the fuck is that shit? You can't open up fuckin' mail? 214 00:15:57,423 --> 00:15:59,653 You open up mail. you all fucked up. 215 00:16:08,467 --> 00:16:10,435 What the fuck is that shit? 216 00:16:11,904 --> 00:16:13,872 Can't open mail. 217 00:16:15,007 --> 00:16:18,807 That's probably a good thing for the bill collectors though. 218 00:16:18,911 --> 00:16:23,211 You know. They call your house. "Hi. Mr. Lawrence. Yeah. 219 00:16:23,315 --> 00:16:26,250 I sent out a bill about three weeks ago... 220 00:16:26,352 --> 00:16:28,252 and I haven't received payment on that. 221 00:16:28,354 --> 00:16:31,949 I was wondering if... Was there a problem? 222 00:16:32,057 --> 00:16:35,549 Well. Is there a reason that that's not paid?" 223 00:16:36,495 --> 00:16:38,486 "Ain't you been watching the news. Nigga? 224 00:16:39,698 --> 00:16:41,928 I can't open it. Motherfucker. 225 00:16:43,302 --> 00:16:45,532 They got powder and shit in there... 226 00:16:45,637 --> 00:16:49,698 that makes you lose your eyebrows in 4.2 seconds. Motherfucker. 227 00:16:49,808 --> 00:16:53,642 You're welcome to bring your ass over here and open it yourself... 228 00:16:53,746 --> 00:16:55,714 Mr. Bill Man." 229 00:16:57,349 --> 00:17:01,149 It's fucking crazy. Man. Anthrax. This shit just don't make no sense. 230 00:17:01,253 --> 00:17:04,381 Now. I'll tell you. life is so short. Y'all. 231 00:17:04,490 --> 00:17:06,458 You know. Please. just realize that. 232 00:17:06,558 --> 00:17:09,220 You're not promised tomorrow. you know. 233 00:17:09,328 --> 00:17:11,296 You really ain't. You're not. 234 00:17:11,397 --> 00:17:14,889 Every day you get a chance to wake up. you gotta really be grateful. 235 00:17:15,000 --> 00:17:16,968 Most importantly. Be grateful... 236 00:17:17,069 --> 00:17:19,799 and ride this motherfucker till the wheels fall off. 237 00:17:19,905 --> 00:17:21,873 Live your life. 238 00:17:21,974 --> 00:17:26,035 Ride this motherfucker till the wheels fall off. 239 00:17:26,145 --> 00:17:29,342 When it's time to go. You're gone. Fuck it. You don't owe nobody. Fuck it. 240 00:17:29,448 --> 00:17:31,575 If you do owe 'em. You're gone. They can't get it. 241 00:17:34,887 --> 00:17:38,186 So now with all that... You know. that gets you down every now and then. 242 00:17:38,290 --> 00:17:42,283 'Cause you see it every time you turn on the news and all that. 243 00:17:42,394 --> 00:17:44,862 It's something that's gonna be with us a long time. 244 00:17:44,963 --> 00:17:47,659 You know. That's just... for the rest of our lives. 245 00:17:47,766 --> 00:17:50,633 I'm trying to do things that make me feel good. 246 00:17:50,736 --> 00:17:53,068 Like. I'm watching Cops. 247 00:17:54,406 --> 00:17:57,705 Black people. Come on. Y'all know we on Cops every fuckin' week. 248 00:17:57,810 --> 00:18:02,110 Every motherfuckin' week. Cops. Black people. Starring black people. 249 00:18:02,214 --> 00:18:05,911 We runnin' through the motherfucker with helicopters chasing us and shit. 250 00:18:06,018 --> 00:18:09,510 Go to commercial. Come back. We still runnin' and shit. 251 00:18:09,621 --> 00:18:11,521 Runnin' like a motherfucker. 252 00:18:11,623 --> 00:18:13,887 You know. Just runnin' in the fuckin' street. Man. 253 00:18:13,992 --> 00:18:16,790 But one thing I noticed on Cops... Is it me? 254 00:18:16,895 --> 00:18:20,922 But white people get away with a lot of shit with the cops. 255 00:18:21,033 --> 00:18:23,763 They talk to the cop. They talk back like a motherfucker. 256 00:18:23,869 --> 00:18:27,805 They cuss their ass out. "What the fuck did you pull me over for? 257 00:18:27,906 --> 00:18:32,275 I don't give a shit. I want to know what did you pull me over for. 258 00:18:32,377 --> 00:18:37,314 I didn't fuckin' do nothin'. Asshole. You fuckin' asshole. You're an asshole. 259 00:18:37,416 --> 00:18:39,976 You're an asshole. and you're a dick. Yes. 260 00:18:40,085 --> 00:18:42,645 Fuck that. Man. You don't pull me over for nothin'. 261 00:18:42,754 --> 00:18:46,815 Yeah. I know I was speeding. ya fuck. I'm in a rush. 262 00:18:46,925 --> 00:18:50,019 What the fuck is wrong with you? You're an asshole. 263 00:18:50,129 --> 00:18:52,029 And fuck you. You're an asshole. 264 00:18:52,131 --> 00:18:56,295 And you're a dick. You know what. why don't you put your dick in your ass? 265 00:18:56,401 --> 00:19:01,998 Fuck you. Fuck you. My dad's gonna have your ass. 266 00:19:02,107 --> 00:19:06,305 There goes your $5 million donation. You fuck. 267 00:19:07,346 --> 00:19:10,042 See your ass in court. Buddy." 268 00:19:11,250 --> 00:19:13,912 They cuss the cops out like a motherfucker. 269 00:19:14,019 --> 00:19:16,214 Black people. We don't do that shit no more. 270 00:19:16,321 --> 00:19:19,757 Ever since that Rodney King ass-whupping. We shut the fuck up. 271 00:19:19,858 --> 00:19:23,658 'Cause you never know if that shit's gonna be us on TV tomorrow on tape. 272 00:19:23,762 --> 00:19:26,925 They pull us over. We... "What's the problem. Officer? 273 00:19:27,032 --> 00:19:30,229 Yes. Was I what? I was speedin'? Damn. 274 00:19:30,335 --> 00:19:34,169 Where's the light? I didn't even see me go through the light. Damn it. 275 00:19:34,273 --> 00:19:36,798 Look here. Would you give me a ticket? 276 00:19:36,909 --> 00:19:39,309 Yeah. Yeah. 'Cause I got to learn. 277 00:19:39,411 --> 00:19:42,175 I got to fuckin' learn. You know. 278 00:19:42,281 --> 00:19:44,249 Let me give you my full name. my middle name. 279 00:19:44,349 --> 00:19:46,317 Let me spell that for you and stuff." 280 00:19:48,554 --> 00:19:51,648 We only that nice 'cause we know we got some shit under the seat. 281 00:19:52,724 --> 00:19:55,716 Who knows what that is? But... 282 00:19:55,827 --> 00:19:58,591 Latinos. They act like they ain't from this country. 283 00:19:58,697 --> 00:20:00,858 They don't speak their English when they get pulled over... 284 00:20:00,966 --> 00:20:03,526 till they see that ticket price. 285 00:20:03,635 --> 00:20:07,503 They get pulled over. "No. No. What I do? I don't know. 286 00:20:07,606 --> 00:20:09,574 I don't know what I do. 287 00:20:09,675 --> 00:20:13,304 Speedy Gonzalez? Was I caught speeding? 288 00:20:14,546 --> 00:20:16,104 Don't know." 289 00:20:17,416 --> 00:20:20,544 They see that ticket. "Motherfucker. This is bullshit!" 290 00:20:25,891 --> 00:20:29,725 But I talk about watching positive programs. You know. 291 00:20:29,828 --> 00:20:33,264 I joke about the cop shit. 'cause ain't nothin' positive about that... 292 00:20:33,365 --> 00:20:35,595 gettin' arrested. I'll tell you that. 293 00:20:35,701 --> 00:20:37,760 But a program that is positive. if you ever get a chance to see it... 294 00:20:37,869 --> 00:20:40,565 it's called Eye on the Prize. 295 00:20:40,672 --> 00:20:44,403 This program will make you cry. you know. I'm serious. 296 00:20:44,509 --> 00:20:47,034 If you ever seen it. You've seen that. It's a beautiful thing. 297 00:20:47,145 --> 00:20:49,204 I'll tell you. I love America. 298 00:20:49,314 --> 00:20:52,408 This is the best country in the world. I wouldn't want to be anywhere else. 299 00:20:52,517 --> 00:20:54,781 But I'm a black man. and I ain't forgot... 300 00:20:54,886 --> 00:20:58,913 what the fuck we. As black people. have been through in America. 301 00:20:59,024 --> 00:21:01,458 You know what I mean? 302 00:21:01,560 --> 00:21:03,528 We ain't gonna just act like shit is all right... 303 00:21:03,629 --> 00:21:06,154 but we gonna work towards change. to make it better. 304 00:21:06,265 --> 00:21:10,565 That's what people... in this Eye on the Prize... have done for us. 305 00:21:10,669 --> 00:21:15,038 They put their lives out there so that we can be in the forefront... 306 00:21:15,140 --> 00:21:17,108 so that we can better ourselves. 307 00:21:17,209 --> 00:21:19,700 Isn't that beautiful. When you look at Eye on the Prize... 308 00:21:19,811 --> 00:21:24,475 when you think of segregation and civil rights and all those things? 309 00:21:24,583 --> 00:21:27,916 When I was watching Eye on the Prize, you had Martin Luther King... 310 00:21:28,020 --> 00:21:30,079 you know. great man in history... 311 00:21:30,188 --> 00:21:34,318 Malcolm X... great man in history... standing up for us... 312 00:21:34,426 --> 00:21:36,656 so that we could sit together. blacks and whites. 313 00:21:36,762 --> 00:21:40,198 Work together. Freedom! Grow together. That's beautiful. 314 00:21:41,300 --> 00:21:43,427 Martin said... 315 00:21:43,535 --> 00:21:45,503 "Nonviolent. Nonviolent. 316 00:21:45,604 --> 00:21:48,095 We shall overcome. I've been to the mountaintop. 317 00:21:48,206 --> 00:21:50,367 Nonviolent. Nonviolent." 318 00:21:50,475 --> 00:21:54,036 Malcolm said. "Yeah. but by any means necessary." 319 00:21:56,114 --> 00:21:58,947 Martin said. "Nonviolent. Nonviolent." 320 00:21:59,985 --> 00:22:02,476 "By any means necessary." 321 00:22:02,587 --> 00:22:04,555 Martin and Malcolm were saying the same thing. 322 00:22:04,656 --> 00:22:07,454 They just had different opinions and different approaches to it. 323 00:22:07,559 --> 00:22:10,357 I thought that was beautiful. I said. "That's all right." 324 00:22:10,462 --> 00:22:14,558 But then one day I was watchin'. and Martin Luther King... 325 00:22:14,666 --> 00:22:19,330 And I'm named after Martin. I was proud. Martin! 326 00:22:19,438 --> 00:22:22,202 I watched him go through Birmingham. Alabama. 327 00:22:22,307 --> 00:22:26,835 And this racist white boy picked up a rock... 328 00:22:26,945 --> 00:22:30,813 you know. Like a half a boulder or some shit. 329 00:22:30,916 --> 00:22:34,682 He pitched that motherfucker like he was pitchin' for the Orioles... 330 00:22:34,786 --> 00:22:37,687 and hit Martin in his head. 331 00:22:37,789 --> 00:22:41,088 And all Martin did was say. "Nonviolent. Nonviolent. 332 00:22:41,193 --> 00:22:43,787 Don't nobody do nothin'. Nonviolent. Nonviolent. 333 00:22:43,895 --> 00:22:45,863 My head's bleeding right now. 334 00:22:45,964 --> 00:22:48,455 Don't nobody do nothin'. We shall overcome. 335 00:22:48,567 --> 00:22:52,264 I've been to the mountaintop. I'm having a dream right now. Nonviolent. 336 00:22:52,371 --> 00:22:55,272 Nonviolent. Nonviolent." 337 00:22:56,308 --> 00:22:58,708 I was proud. I said. "Damn. 338 00:22:58,810 --> 00:23:01,370 That takes a strong man to get hit in the head... 339 00:23:01,480 --> 00:23:05,416 with a half a boulder and still say 'nonviolent. ' Damn!" 340 00:23:08,887 --> 00:23:11,378 But if you're like me... 341 00:23:11,490 --> 00:23:14,152 then one time you would have loved to hear Martin say... 342 00:23:14,259 --> 00:23:17,422 "Another one of you motherfuckers hit me with a rock... 343 00:23:18,563 --> 00:23:21,498 I'll beat your bitch ass. you motherfucker. 344 00:23:21,600 --> 00:23:24,296 Fuck that. Coretta. These niggers think I'm soft. 345 00:23:24,403 --> 00:23:28,032 Let me show you how Martin get down. Motherfucker. 346 00:23:28,140 --> 00:23:30,108 This is how Martin get down." 347 00:23:32,110 --> 00:23:36,137 I know he got on his boys. I know he was here and said. "Jesse. 348 00:23:36,248 --> 00:23:39,342 Damn it. Jesse. You seen who threw that fuckin' rock. Jesse. 349 00:23:40,385 --> 00:23:42,853 Get off your ass and go handle that. 350 00:23:44,222 --> 00:23:47,055 Stop chasing them ho's. Jesse." 351 00:23:55,233 --> 00:23:57,201 Can I get a little water? 352 00:24:00,839 --> 00:24:02,807 I gotta ask y'all. 353 00:24:02,941 --> 00:24:04,966 There's predominantly black people in here. 354 00:24:05,076 --> 00:24:07,044 They don't want you to pause in no show. 355 00:24:12,150 --> 00:24:14,084 "Come on. Hurry up." 356 00:24:14,186 --> 00:24:16,746 Somebody put something in his mouth. My zipper's stuck. Y'all. 357 00:24:25,464 --> 00:24:27,159 I warned you. Watch your mouth now. 358 00:24:28,266 --> 00:24:32,327 Don't forget who the original DefJam host was. Motherfucker. 359 00:24:39,478 --> 00:24:41,446 I know I'm gettin' old. Thirty-six. Man. 360 00:24:41,546 --> 00:24:43,707 You know. Gettin' older. Yeah. 361 00:24:43,815 --> 00:24:46,750 You don't do the same things you do when you get older. 362 00:24:46,852 --> 00:24:49,650 I want to grow old gracefully. Gettin' old ain't no joke. 363 00:24:49,754 --> 00:24:52,245 It's. Like. You know. When you see older people... old people... 364 00:24:52,357 --> 00:24:55,053 you gotta really show 'em some respect and love... 365 00:24:55,160 --> 00:24:57,788 'cause there's a lot of wisdom there. 366 00:24:57,896 --> 00:25:01,093 They're livin' their life. They got seniority here in this life. 367 00:25:01,199 --> 00:25:03,190 You gotta show 'em some love. Man. 368 00:25:05,403 --> 00:25:07,837 I know when I get old... That's why I said until that point... 369 00:25:07,939 --> 00:25:10,669 I'm gonna ride this motherfucker till the wheels fall off. 370 00:25:10,775 --> 00:25:14,506 Live your life. I'm sure that's what an old person will tell you. 371 00:25:14,613 --> 00:25:19,448 You think about it. You look around. This is just a body of life right here. 372 00:25:19,551 --> 00:25:22,111 You got some young. You got some old and everything. 373 00:25:22,220 --> 00:25:25,018 Just look around. That's what it is. It goes in a cycle. 374 00:25:25,123 --> 00:25:28,820 You go young. Old. Old. Young. Young. Old. And that's it. 375 00:25:28,927 --> 00:25:31,122 That's about fuckin' it. Think about it. 376 00:25:31,229 --> 00:25:33,959 The shit just recycles itself. Like. The same things happen. 377 00:25:34,065 --> 00:25:37,228 When you're a baby. you got one tooth. 378 00:25:39,738 --> 00:25:41,706 When you get old... 379 00:25:41,806 --> 00:25:44,434 you got one motherfuckin' tooth just hanging on. Just... 380 00:25:46,378 --> 00:25:49,313 And that motherfucker fragiler than a motherfucker. 381 00:25:49,414 --> 00:25:52,941 You gotta cut the apple to eat the shit. You know. 382 00:25:54,486 --> 00:25:56,454 When you're a baby... 383 00:25:56,555 --> 00:25:59,183 you know what I mean. you wear diapers. 384 00:25:59,291 --> 00:26:02,351 When you get old. You got motherfuckin' adult Pampers on. 385 00:26:03,795 --> 00:26:05,956 When you're a baby. you're in that little walker... 386 00:26:06,064 --> 00:26:08,430 trying to strengthen your legs. tryin' to walk. 387 00:26:09,768 --> 00:26:12,464 When you get old. You're in that metal motherfuckin' walker. 388 00:26:13,772 --> 00:26:15,740 You got one patch of hair when you're a baby. 389 00:26:15,840 --> 00:26:18,866 You got a patch of fuckin' hair when you're old. 390 00:26:18,977 --> 00:26:21,411 You try to cornrow that motherfucker. 391 00:26:22,647 --> 00:26:25,343 Tryin' to hang on to what little hip-hop you got left. 392 00:26:26,585 --> 00:26:30,487 It's just a cycle that goes like that. That's all it is. A cycle. 393 00:26:30,589 --> 00:26:33,752 When I get old... I don't give a fuck... don't do me no favors. 394 00:26:33,858 --> 00:26:36,418 Leave me at home. Let me watch the birds. Like I said. 395 00:26:36,528 --> 00:26:38,758 Don't be taking me to no motherfucking game. 396 00:26:38,863 --> 00:26:41,525 "Martin would want to go to the basketball game." 397 00:26:41,633 --> 00:26:44,363 They'd take me to the game and then announce me. 398 00:26:44,469 --> 00:26:47,529 "Ladies and gentlemen. We got Martin Lawrence in the house." 399 00:26:47,639 --> 00:26:49,607 I'm older than a motherfucker. 400 00:26:51,743 --> 00:26:55,338 All they do is sit you up front and exploit the fuck out you. 401 00:26:55,447 --> 00:26:57,745 Got the camera all in your face and shit. 402 00:26:59,284 --> 00:27:02,515 You sittin' there. Can't even follow the basketball game and shit. 403 00:27:02,621 --> 00:27:04,851 You down here. They playin' down this motherfucker. 404 00:27:12,497 --> 00:27:15,295 Catch you falling asleep and shit. 405 00:27:23,475 --> 00:27:26,239 Don't put me at no motherfuckin' game and sit me up front... 406 00:27:26,344 --> 00:27:28,972 puttin' an old-ass Washington Wizard hat on me. 407 00:27:30,181 --> 00:27:32,911 With Jordan's signature on the motherfucker. 408 00:27:38,189 --> 00:27:40,157 Talk about... "How's he like the game?" 409 00:27:40,258 --> 00:27:43,785 "He says it's wonderful." I ain't said shit. 410 00:27:43,895 --> 00:27:47,888 I said. "Get my ass home. I don't want to do shit. I'm chillin'." 411 00:27:47,999 --> 00:27:51,400 I'll tell you. The beauty of getting old is that you do things differently. 412 00:27:51,503 --> 00:27:54,734 Know what I mean? Even your dancin' changes when you get older. 413 00:27:54,839 --> 00:27:57,774 Young people. They go do all the wild stuff. 414 00:27:57,876 --> 00:28:01,175 Old people don't do that. They keep it in one place. "All right. Now. 415 00:28:04,382 --> 00:28:06,441 That's what I'm talking about right there. 416 00:28:06,551 --> 00:28:10,681 Yeah. Ain't gonna do too much more than this here tonight. 417 00:28:11,723 --> 00:28:14,886 That's right. Ain't gonna have me winded out this motherfucker all night. 418 00:28:14,993 --> 00:28:17,359 I got about two more dips in me now. 419 00:28:18,463 --> 00:28:20,829 One dip. All right. 420 00:28:20,932 --> 00:28:24,663 That's it. That's it. One more dip. I'm done. 421 00:28:24,769 --> 00:28:28,205 Shit. I'm tired. I ain't gonna be doin' that shit all night. 422 00:28:28,306 --> 00:28:30,274 You tryin' to kill a motherfucker." 423 00:28:31,643 --> 00:28:35,238 There's a dance out right now. A lot of people like this dance. 424 00:28:35,346 --> 00:28:38,179 It's like the... What is it? 425 00:28:38,283 --> 00:28:40,274 It's like the Electric Slide... 426 00:28:40,385 --> 00:28:42,979 but it's not quite the Electric Slide. 427 00:28:43,088 --> 00:28:45,056 The cha-cha? 428 00:28:45,156 --> 00:28:48,182 Yeah. I can't stand that fuckin' dance. 429 00:28:48,293 --> 00:28:52,662 That's a easy fuckin' dance. Y'all. You know that dance is easy as shit. 430 00:28:52,764 --> 00:28:56,598 Come on. "Two to the right. One to the left. 431 00:28:56,701 --> 00:28:59,135 Stop. Think about it." 432 00:29:00,739 --> 00:29:03,367 Get the fuck out of here with that shit. 433 00:29:05,677 --> 00:29:07,838 "Take your leg like this here. 434 00:29:09,514 --> 00:29:11,880 Do your arm like this. 435 00:29:13,017 --> 00:29:16,350 Stop. Think about it." 436 00:29:16,454 --> 00:29:18,649 That bullshit. 437 00:29:18,757 --> 00:29:22,193 I know the fuckin' ghetto Hokey Pokey when I hear that shit. 438 00:29:27,599 --> 00:29:31,296 You know what I mean? "Do your hip like this one time. 439 00:29:32,637 --> 00:29:35,299 Now keep doing your hip like this." 440 00:29:36,374 --> 00:29:38,604 Get the fuck outta here. 441 00:29:39,844 --> 00:29:42,438 I respect a brother's hustle. but that's bullshit. Man. 442 00:29:42,547 --> 00:29:44,708 That shit easy. 443 00:29:45,917 --> 00:29:49,512 You know. The thing about gettin' old. I'll tell you. Gettin' older is like... 444 00:29:49,621 --> 00:29:53,318 If you have good kids and you raise good kids... 445 00:29:53,424 --> 00:29:56,018 your children will take care of you when you're older. 446 00:29:58,396 --> 00:30:00,364 Yeah. That's true. 447 00:30:02,233 --> 00:30:04,463 That's a beautiful thing. That's what you want. 448 00:30:04,569 --> 00:30:06,867 You want to raise good kids. I have two beautiful daughters. 449 00:30:06,971 --> 00:30:10,407 And I'm proud of them. I love them. Thank you. 450 00:30:10,508 --> 00:30:14,706 But you get... Kids will take... Good kids will take care of you. 451 00:30:14,813 --> 00:30:18,874 But you know them badass kids like the motherfuckin' Menendez brothers... 452 00:30:18,983 --> 00:30:21,884 you gotta whup their ass. Man. them little badass kids. 453 00:30:21,986 --> 00:30:24,580 If you don't get them bad kids when they're young. They will fuck you up. 454 00:30:24,689 --> 00:30:27,180 That's how them brothers did that shit to their mother and father. 455 00:30:27,292 --> 00:30:29,192 They ought to have their ass kicked. 456 00:30:29,294 --> 00:30:31,194 I don't like them badass kids. I tell you. 457 00:30:31,296 --> 00:30:33,730 You gotta get 'em early. 'cause if you don't... 458 00:30:33,832 --> 00:30:35,925 them motherfuckers will put you in time-out. 459 00:30:38,303 --> 00:30:40,533 They will say. "Get your ass in time-out. Dad. 460 00:30:40,638 --> 00:30:43,163 Get your fucking time-out. Dad!" 461 00:30:43,274 --> 00:30:45,174 "Goddamn. What did I do there. Dave? 462 00:30:45,276 --> 00:30:48,370 I don't know what the fuck I did wrong. What did I do?" 463 00:30:48,479 --> 00:30:50,845 "Just shut the fuck up and get a time-out!" 464 00:30:52,650 --> 00:30:54,618 You know what I mean? Telling you shit like... 465 00:30:54,719 --> 00:30:56,880 "Don't touch my Twinkies in the fridge. Motherfucker. 466 00:30:56,988 --> 00:30:59,548 I'll be home about 9:00." 467 00:30:59,657 --> 00:31:02,455 'Cause they get all tall and lanky. and they bigger than you and shit. 468 00:31:02,560 --> 00:31:04,460 Then they think they run you. 469 00:31:04,562 --> 00:31:07,122 They try to run the phone that you pay the bill on. 470 00:31:07,232 --> 00:31:09,291 "Hang the motherfuckin' phone up. Dad! 471 00:31:09,400 --> 00:31:12,164 Hang the motherfuckin' phone up. Dad! 472 00:31:12,270 --> 00:31:14,534 I'm on the phone talkin' to my homies. Nigger!" 473 00:31:16,307 --> 00:31:19,105 Shit! You gotta get their little ass. Man. 474 00:31:19,210 --> 00:31:21,576 You gotta let them know. You gotta put fear in their heart. 475 00:31:21,679 --> 00:31:24,944 "I'm the parent. You ever raise up on me... I don't play that shit." 476 00:31:25,049 --> 00:31:27,108 They gotta fear you for the rest of their life... 477 00:31:27,218 --> 00:31:29,243 if they don't fear no-fucking-body else. 478 00:31:30,388 --> 00:31:32,356 That is yours. 479 00:31:32,457 --> 00:31:35,085 You gotta make 'em know. You gotta make 'em understand. 480 00:31:35,193 --> 00:31:37,923 Don't play with Daddy. Don't play with Mama. 481 00:31:38,029 --> 00:31:40,691 But you know what started some of that shit is that time-out. 482 00:31:41,933 --> 00:31:44,766 White people. Y'all started that. I ain't pickin' on you. 483 00:31:44,869 --> 00:31:48,396 But that time-out shit? Uh-uh! Ain't gonna work. 484 00:31:48,506 --> 00:31:51,134 You know. I seen this white kid tell his mother... 485 00:31:51,242 --> 00:31:54,405 "Fuck you. Mommy. You ho. You bitch. You ho. You bitch." 486 00:31:54,512 --> 00:31:58,004 All she said was. "Bobby. Go to time-out. 487 00:31:58,116 --> 00:32:00,084 Go to time-out. Bobby. 488 00:32:00,184 --> 00:32:02,209 You have some emotional issues that you need to deal with. 489 00:32:02,320 --> 00:32:04,288 Go to time-out." 490 00:32:04,389 --> 00:32:06,414 And all the way to time-out. he sang this shit. 491 00:32:06,524 --> 00:32:09,015 You ho, you bitch You bitch, you ho 492 00:32:10,094 --> 00:32:11,288 Putting mixes on it. 493 00:32:11,396 --> 00:32:13,990 Bitch, bitch ho 494 00:32:15,433 --> 00:32:17,958 All my bitches Say ho 495 00:32:19,304 --> 00:32:23,434 Shit! You don't tell no black parent that shit. 496 00:32:25,109 --> 00:32:27,077 Fuck you, you ho You bi... 497 00:32:28,346 --> 00:32:29,938 Take time-out. Pick up your teeth. 498 00:32:32,784 --> 00:32:34,809 Take time-out. Pick up your wisdoms. 499 00:32:36,287 --> 00:32:38,755 Take time and get my foot up out your ass. 500 00:32:40,291 --> 00:32:43,783 Fuck the time-out. That shit don't work. 501 00:32:43,895 --> 00:32:46,921 I know what happens is you're scared to discipline your child... 502 00:32:47,031 --> 00:32:49,022 'cause now there's a law that says you can get arrested... 503 00:32:49,133 --> 00:32:51,328 if you whup your child's ass. 504 00:32:51,436 --> 00:32:54,496 Hey. Whup your child's ass... 505 00:32:55,840 --> 00:32:57,831 if they act up. 506 00:32:57,942 --> 00:32:59,910 If they're showing off... 507 00:33:00,011 --> 00:33:02,377 If they're showing off. that's when you whup their ass. 508 00:33:02,480 --> 00:33:05,506 Hey. Iook. I got a lot of ass-whuppings. and look at me now. 509 00:33:09,020 --> 00:33:11,887 But you gotta... If they're showing off. you gotta tear their ass up. 510 00:33:11,990 --> 00:33:13,958 You can't even be trippin' on that. 511 00:33:14,058 --> 00:33:16,026 You gotta do what you gotta do. 512 00:33:16,127 --> 00:33:18,095 I understand what the law's saying. 513 00:33:18,196 --> 00:33:21,825 You can't be in the street fighting them like you're in a real fight. 514 00:33:21,933 --> 00:33:23,901 Talkin' about. "Come on. Fuck that. 515 00:33:24,936 --> 00:33:26,904 You're gonna eat your Rice Krispies. 516 00:33:27,005 --> 00:33:29,337 You're gonna eat your Rice Krispies." 517 00:33:29,440 --> 00:33:32,967 I understand that shit. But you know what you gotta do? 518 00:33:33,077 --> 00:33:36,843 You gotta learn how to hit 'em quick and then walk 'em to the car. 519 00:33:36,948 --> 00:33:38,415 You gotta... 520 00:33:39,550 --> 00:33:41,518 Then walk 'em to the car. 521 00:33:43,855 --> 00:33:46,085 "Hi. Officer. Yeah. 522 00:33:46,190 --> 00:33:48,158 Oh. No. Just out taking a stroll. That's all. 523 00:33:48,259 --> 00:33:50,227 Yeah. Okeydokey. 524 00:33:50,328 --> 00:33:52,558 Get your ass in there!" 525 00:33:52,663 --> 00:33:56,030 You're driving and shit. hit him with the seat buckle. 526 00:33:56,134 --> 00:33:59,865 "Shut up! Never fuckin' embarrass me in public. 527 00:33:59,971 --> 00:34:02,872 You like to got my ass arrested. I'll fuck you up!" 528 00:34:05,376 --> 00:34:07,970 Shit. That's why you gotta get 'em. 529 00:34:08,079 --> 00:34:10,047 You gotta scare them. 530 00:34:10,148 --> 00:34:12,116 They could be babies. 531 00:34:12,216 --> 00:34:15,049 Little infants. Little newborns. 532 00:34:15,153 --> 00:34:17,917 You gotta let 'em know. Instill that fear that you the parent. 533 00:34:18,022 --> 00:34:20,013 You gotta instill that shit in them! 534 00:34:20,124 --> 00:34:23,252 You go to their motherfucking crib and wake their ass up. 535 00:34:23,361 --> 00:34:26,091 "What's up. You little motherfucker? What's up? 536 00:34:26,197 --> 00:34:28,097 Wake your little ass up. little nigger. 537 00:34:28,199 --> 00:34:30,133 Let me tell you something. This Daddy here. Motherfucker. 538 00:34:30,234 --> 00:34:34,796 You ever raise up on me. I will knock your motherfucking ass the fuck out! 539 00:34:34,906 --> 00:34:39,070 Don't play with me! This Daddy. Nigger!" 540 00:34:42,013 --> 00:34:44,140 You gotta catch 'em when they're coming out the pussy. 541 00:34:44,248 --> 00:34:46,375 "What up. you little motherfucker? 542 00:34:49,654 --> 00:34:52,248 This Daddy. Nigger! This Da... 543 00:34:52,356 --> 00:34:54,449 Get your little ass here! Get off... 544 00:34:54,559 --> 00:34:56,754 Get off the umbilical cord! Get the fuck off! 545 00:34:56,861 --> 00:35:00,388 Let me tell you something. I will knock your motherfucking ass out! 546 00:35:00,498 --> 00:35:02,796 Don't play with me! 547 00:35:02,900 --> 00:35:04,800 Don't come here. start no shit! 548 00:35:04,902 --> 00:35:08,269 Don't come here. start no shit!" 549 00:35:10,108 --> 00:35:12,838 Best believe. That's the gift that keeps on giving. 550 00:35:12,944 --> 00:35:15,674 When they 18. 19. go to them clubs and shit... 551 00:35:15,780 --> 00:35:18,180 partying with their friends. forgetting everything. 552 00:35:18,282 --> 00:35:21,649 They don't know nothing. Send a prerecorded tape to the DJ. 553 00:35:21,752 --> 00:35:25,188 "Get your little motherfucking ass home! Nigger. Get home now!" 554 00:35:25,289 --> 00:35:27,314 "Oh. Shit! I gotta go! 555 00:35:27,425 --> 00:35:30,622 Oh. God! My dad's in here! 556 00:35:30,728 --> 00:35:34,391 Who mixed him with Tupac? Who mixed him with Tupac? 557 00:35:34,499 --> 00:35:36,467 Oh. Shit!" 558 00:35:42,140 --> 00:35:43,607 Get 'em! 559 00:35:43,708 --> 00:35:47,200 Like I said. That's the gift that just keeps on giving. 560 00:35:48,179 --> 00:35:50,477 But that's what it's about. Man. 561 00:35:50,581 --> 00:35:53,414 And those are the bad kids. 562 00:35:53,518 --> 00:35:55,486 But you got good kids. 563 00:35:55,586 --> 00:36:00,114 It starts even in the... in the delivery room... 564 00:36:00,224 --> 00:36:03,352 like when. You know. the ladies are giving birth. 565 00:36:03,461 --> 00:36:07,693 And I commend you. Ladies. That's a wonderful thing. Woman. That you do. 566 00:36:07,798 --> 00:36:09,766 I commend you. 567 00:36:09,867 --> 00:36:13,200 To be able to do that is... It's beautiful. 568 00:36:13,304 --> 00:36:15,795 'Cause I know. Men. we couldn't do it. 569 00:36:15,907 --> 00:36:18,842 If we had to have babies. there'd be one motherfucker in here. 570 00:36:20,478 --> 00:36:24,414 But ladies go through that. and the strength of a woman. Man. Wow! 571 00:36:24,515 --> 00:36:27,712 It's a wonderful thing. It's beautiful when you see that. 572 00:36:27,818 --> 00:36:31,720 You're getting ready to have the baby. and the baby's in there. 573 00:36:31,822 --> 00:36:34,723 You gotta be strong. Secure and know everything's gonna be all right. 574 00:36:34,825 --> 00:36:37,350 'Cause if it's not. it'll fuck you up. 575 00:36:37,461 --> 00:36:39,827 You stand there with the nurse and shit looking. 576 00:36:39,931 --> 00:36:41,899 She in the hospital about to deliver that thing. 577 00:36:41,999 --> 00:36:44,661 You're with the nurse. "Is she gonna be all right? 578 00:36:44,769 --> 00:36:47,260 'Cause she seems like she in a lot of pain." 579 00:36:47,371 --> 00:36:50,204 The nurse calming you down. You got the doctor over there. 580 00:36:50,308 --> 00:36:53,573 Then all of a sudden. The baby start coming out. And you go... 581 00:36:53,678 --> 00:36:57,580 "Oh. Shit! Oh. God! Oh! 582 00:36:57,682 --> 00:37:02,619 Look at the head on that little motherfucker! Oh. Man! 583 00:37:02,720 --> 00:37:04,654 Look at the fuckin' circumference on his head! 584 00:37:04,755 --> 00:37:08,156 Oh. Shit! 585 00:37:08,259 --> 00:37:10,989 He's tearing up the pussy! 586 00:37:12,997 --> 00:37:15,932 That was my fit! That was my fit! 587 00:37:16,033 --> 00:37:19,025 Oh. Fuck! Now look at that shit! 588 00:37:19,136 --> 00:37:21,104 All these years I look for that woman... 589 00:37:21,205 --> 00:37:24,231 I found her. And now the fit is all fucked up! 590 00:37:25,476 --> 00:37:27,876 I don't know! Talk to the doctor. 591 00:37:27,979 --> 00:37:30,470 Nothing. Baby. You're doing good. You're doing real good. 592 00:37:30,581 --> 00:37:33,311 We're just talking about how. just how well you're doing. 593 00:37:33,417 --> 00:37:35,647 Damn it. Iook how big that fucking hole is. 594 00:37:37,622 --> 00:37:40,557 Well. You tell me. Nurse. what am I supposed... Look at that hole! 595 00:37:40,658 --> 00:37:43,456 I can't follow that. 596 00:37:43,561 --> 00:37:46,496 What the fuck am I supposed to do. fuck her with my knee? 597 00:37:47,765 --> 00:37:50,097 Huh? Do some shit like this here? 598 00:37:50,201 --> 00:37:52,101 What is that shit? 599 00:37:55,439 --> 00:37:56,906 Oh. Shit. 600 00:38:01,112 --> 00:38:05,173 What the fuck is that big-ass. Twisty. tied-up baby hanging on? 601 00:38:05,283 --> 00:38:07,183 Oh. God. It looks like a... 602 00:38:07,285 --> 00:38:09,310 Oh. That's the umbilical... Okay. 603 00:38:09,420 --> 00:38:12,253 Oh. God. Oh. Shit! 604 00:38:12,356 --> 00:38:14,950 I'm nauseous. 605 00:38:15,059 --> 00:38:17,027 Oh. God. Oh. My God. 606 00:38:17,128 --> 00:38:20,427 What is that fuckin' chitlin bag hanging out the pussy? 607 00:38:20,531 --> 00:38:22,795 That's a big-ass chitlin bag. 608 00:38:33,010 --> 00:38:35,205 Looks like a fuckin' gizzard bag. 609 00:38:36,480 --> 00:38:38,505 Hold up. Now I'm confused. 610 00:38:38,616 --> 00:38:40,584 Is she a woman. or is she a fucking turkey? 611 00:38:41,786 --> 00:38:43,754 What the hell is that?" 612 00:38:49,593 --> 00:38:51,060 And then... 613 00:38:55,433 --> 00:38:57,401 And the baby's born. 614 00:38:58,469 --> 00:39:01,905 And then you ain't as nauseous no more... 615 00:39:02,006 --> 00:39:06,568 'cause you just saw the strength of a woman. And it turned you on. 616 00:39:06,677 --> 00:39:09,669 You walk up to her. and the doctor clears out and stuff. 617 00:39:09,780 --> 00:39:12,977 Takes off all his surgical stuff. You pass him. Damn near passing out. 618 00:39:13,084 --> 00:39:15,484 Talking about. "I don't know how you do it." 619 00:39:15,586 --> 00:39:18,054 And you come up to her and say. "Damn. Girl. 620 00:39:19,156 --> 00:39:21,920 You did it. Baby. Yeah. You did it. You know. 621 00:39:22,026 --> 00:39:24,392 You somethin'. Yeah. I'll get you some ice chips. 622 00:39:24,495 --> 00:39:27,362 Hold on. Here's some ice chips. Okay. Yeah. You did it. 623 00:39:27,465 --> 00:39:29,956 I appreciate you. Girl. Yeah." 624 00:39:31,836 --> 00:39:33,571 And you're lookin' at her and stuff. and you look at the baby. 625 00:39:33,571 --> 00:39:34,970 And you're lookin' at her and stuff. and you look at the baby. 626 00:39:35,072 --> 00:39:38,098 You say. "Yeah. That's us. We did that. 627 00:39:38,209 --> 00:39:42,509 It's hard to believe that the night I had your legs on the chandelier... 628 00:39:42,613 --> 00:39:45,104 that's what we got. 629 00:39:45,216 --> 00:39:48,276 Yeah. Wow. Wow. Baby. 630 00:39:48,386 --> 00:39:50,354 I'm gonna let you get some rest. all right? I love you. 631 00:39:50,454 --> 00:39:52,422 I'm gonna let you get some rest. I'll be back. 632 00:39:52,523 --> 00:39:54,423 Okay. All right." 633 00:39:54,525 --> 00:39:57,153 So you start walking out. and it hits you. 634 00:39:57,261 --> 00:40:01,527 The strength of woman. that's a sexy fuckin' thing. 635 00:40:01,632 --> 00:40:03,600 You look back at her. 636 00:40:03,701 --> 00:40:07,762 She's so sexy to you now. You're ready to make another one again. 637 00:40:08,906 --> 00:40:11,932 Your dick start gettin' hard. and you're looking at her. 638 00:40:12,042 --> 00:40:15,239 You say. "That shit turned me on like a motherfucker." 639 00:40:16,447 --> 00:40:18,677 But you can't get no pussy for six weeks. 640 00:40:21,218 --> 00:40:23,948 So now you walking around. walking around. 641 00:40:24,054 --> 00:40:27,581 You're in the house by yourself. You gotta go back to the hospital to check on her... 642 00:40:27,691 --> 00:40:30,125 or you stay in the hospital in another room. 643 00:40:30,227 --> 00:40:33,628 Keep holding your meat in your hand. You don't wanna beat your meat. 644 00:40:33,731 --> 00:40:36,825 Then you go back down there. And you check on her a little bit and stuff. 645 00:40:36,934 --> 00:40:40,165 You say. "Hey. You all right? 646 00:40:41,405 --> 00:40:44,101 Yeah. So it's been a couple of weeks now. Girl. 647 00:40:46,444 --> 00:40:49,379 Yeah. The doctor say he put the dissolve stitches in. 648 00:40:49,480 --> 00:40:53,780 He said that there is a chance they could dissolve before six weeks is up. 649 00:40:54,819 --> 00:40:56,912 Okay. Well. Let me take a look there. Let me take a look. 650 00:40:57,021 --> 00:40:59,615 Open up. Open your legs. 651 00:41:00,991 --> 00:41:04,290 Does it hurt when I do like that there? 652 00:41:10,835 --> 00:41:14,327 So you don't feel this at all right here. Like that there? 653 00:41:14,438 --> 00:41:16,099 You don't feel that? You don't feel that at all? 654 00:41:18,309 --> 00:41:20,607 I'll wait. Shit!" 655 00:41:24,682 --> 00:41:28,345 Then you can't get titty for. Like. A year. 656 00:41:30,621 --> 00:41:32,589 Ayear you can't get titty? 657 00:41:32,690 --> 00:41:35,250 How long. Ladies. Is it exactly that you can breast-feed? 658 00:41:35,359 --> 00:41:38,624 - Five years! - Somebody say five years? 659 00:41:38,729 --> 00:41:41,857 Five years? Oh. Shit. 660 00:41:42,900 --> 00:41:45,232 That ain't breast-feeding. That's incest. 661 00:41:47,605 --> 00:41:50,733 You're walking around with a grown person on your titty. 662 00:41:51,842 --> 00:41:55,005 "He's just a little big for his age." 663 00:41:57,114 --> 00:41:59,241 That motherfucker draggin' his feet. sucking titty. 664 00:42:05,489 --> 00:42:06,956 Fuck that. 665 00:42:07,057 --> 00:42:10,083 Man. You can't get no titty for that long. A year. Whatever. Man? 666 00:42:10,194 --> 00:42:12,185 That's hard. 'cause I'm a titty man. 667 00:42:12,296 --> 00:42:14,560 Ooh. I love the titty. 668 00:42:14,665 --> 00:42:18,066 Mm-hmm. It's all right to applaud the titties. It's all right. 669 00:42:18,168 --> 00:42:20,500 I don't give a fuck what size the titties are. 670 00:42:20,604 --> 00:42:24,005 They could be big titties. Just give me a day to work on them. 671 00:42:24,108 --> 00:42:26,474 'Cause I like to detail a titty real nice. 672 00:42:26,577 --> 00:42:28,477 You know what I mean? Oh. I like titties. 673 00:42:28,579 --> 00:42:30,479 Big titties. Small titties... 674 00:42:30,581 --> 00:42:34,415 big nipple titties or small nipple titties. 675 00:42:34,518 --> 00:42:37,112 You know. it can't just be a nipple. 676 00:42:39,924 --> 00:42:44,418 Okay? Cause I don't want to feel like I'm kissing on Earl or shit like that. 677 00:42:44,528 --> 00:42:46,962 But there gotta be a little cushion up under that nip. 678 00:42:47,064 --> 00:42:51,194 Just a little cushion up under the nip. then we be all right. 679 00:42:51,302 --> 00:42:53,429 I don't give a damn. They could be saggy titties... 680 00:42:53,537 --> 00:42:55,937 titties that hang to this side... 681 00:42:56,040 --> 00:42:58,304 titties that hang to that side... 682 00:42:58,409 --> 00:43:00,639 titties that hang over the fucking back. 683 00:43:00,744 --> 00:43:03,440 The ones that get smushy when you put your finger in 'em... 684 00:43:03,547 --> 00:43:07,005 and you take your hand off. They still got fingerprints in the motherfucker. 685 00:43:09,019 --> 00:43:11,817 Stretch mark titties. I don't give a damn. 686 00:43:11,922 --> 00:43:14,288 I lick between the lines. 687 00:43:17,227 --> 00:43:19,457 Like a stamp. 688 00:43:19,563 --> 00:43:21,531 I likes a titty. 689 00:43:23,000 --> 00:43:24,991 And when you can't get that titty. you miss it... 690 00:43:25,102 --> 00:43:27,468 'cause the baby got the titty on lockdown. 691 00:43:27,571 --> 00:43:29,539 Baby at home... 692 00:43:29,640 --> 00:43:33,337 And you see your wife or your lady laying in the bed. 693 00:43:33,444 --> 00:43:37,505 You see the baby on one titty and you... "Damn. Why can't I get some of the tit?" 694 00:43:37,615 --> 00:43:39,515 You know there's an extra titty. 695 00:43:39,617 --> 00:43:42,484 You're like. "I want some. I want some." 696 00:43:42,586 --> 00:43:45,783 You try to ease over there. Get a little lick of the titty that's open. 697 00:43:45,889 --> 00:43:48,483 "No. Don't do that!" "Shit. It's a free titty." 698 00:43:48,592 --> 00:43:50,560 "Don't do that! It's for the baby. 699 00:43:50,661 --> 00:43:53,027 I gotta switch the baby over." 700 00:43:54,231 --> 00:43:56,199 You're looking. Like. "Damn!" You try to make up excuses. 701 00:43:56,300 --> 00:44:00,236 "Shit. I got stronger jaws. I'm trying to help suck the milk up for the baby." 702 00:44:00,337 --> 00:44:02,669 "You've been drinking. haven't you? 703 00:44:02,773 --> 00:44:06,402 Don't do that. You'll get alcohol on the titty. 704 00:44:06,510 --> 00:44:08,637 You're gonna get the baby drunk. Don't do that." 705 00:44:11,148 --> 00:44:14,481 And the baby make the titty look good. Don't they? 706 00:44:14,585 --> 00:44:17,554 Babies show you what titty's all about. 707 00:44:18,589 --> 00:44:20,056 Babies... 708 00:44:25,195 --> 00:44:27,959 And they look at you and roll their eyes. 709 00:44:40,511 --> 00:44:44,345 They will fuckin' show you what a titty is all about. Man. 710 00:44:44,515 --> 00:44:49,179 Those are some of the things you go through. Man. In this here life. 711 00:44:49,286 --> 00:44:52,744 Round of applause. all the couples that are married. 712 00:44:54,858 --> 00:44:57,326 Well. Congratulations to all four of you. 713 00:44:59,530 --> 00:45:03,466 Now. I used to... I used to be married. 714 00:45:03,567 --> 00:45:06,297 I'm not married no more. We got a divorce. It just didn't work out. 715 00:45:06,403 --> 00:45:09,395 But it's hard... You know. When you... 716 00:45:09,506 --> 00:45:12,134 When you say. "I will marry you" or "Will you marry me?" 717 00:45:12,242 --> 00:45:15,177 that's like saying. "Oh. Shit!" 718 00:45:16,580 --> 00:45:19,048 That's why they line you up like fighters and shit. 719 00:45:19,149 --> 00:45:21,049 And guys be looking at each other. Going... 720 00:45:21,151 --> 00:45:25,588 "You know. When I finish announcing these vows... 721 00:45:25,689 --> 00:45:28,658 come out swingin' like a motherfucker... 722 00:45:28,759 --> 00:45:30,784 'cause it's gonna be a barn burner." 723 00:45:32,096 --> 00:45:35,554 But all this shit happens at first. getting ready for the ceremony. 724 00:45:35,666 --> 00:45:38,134 And then you gotta fill out paperwork... 725 00:45:38,235 --> 00:45:39,600 like if you feel as though you have something... 726 00:45:39,703 --> 00:45:43,969 that you want to be exclusively yours. you gotta fill out IOU's. 727 00:45:44,074 --> 00:45:46,065 I'm sorry. I meant "prenuptials." 728 00:45:48,078 --> 00:45:50,774 That's some hard shit. To tell somebody that you love 'em... 729 00:45:50,881 --> 00:45:54,715 and then the prenuptial comes into play. but I guess it is what it is. 730 00:45:54,818 --> 00:45:56,911 But a person will do that. "You know. I love you. 731 00:45:57,020 --> 00:45:58,988 "We about to do this thing. Girl. 732 00:45:59,089 --> 00:46:01,421 Yeah. Yeah. We about to get married. 733 00:46:01,525 --> 00:46:04,016 I'm so proud of you. So glad we can make this happen. 734 00:46:04,128 --> 00:46:06,858 Yeah. You know. What excites me about this... 735 00:46:06,964 --> 00:46:09,956 is that. For the rest of our lives. we're gonna be together. 736 00:46:10,067 --> 00:46:13,662 And. You know. That can't be changed. You know. 737 00:46:13,771 --> 00:46:18,538 And your world. You know. is gonna be joined with my world. 738 00:46:18,642 --> 00:46:20,701 My world joined with your world. 739 00:46:20,811 --> 00:46:23,302 And that's a beautiful thing. We're gonna have one big world. 740 00:46:23,413 --> 00:46:25,313 That's right. That's right. 741 00:46:25,415 --> 00:46:27,645 That's right. I love you too. Yeah. 742 00:46:32,055 --> 00:46:35,582 I need you to fill out this paper that say... 743 00:46:35,692 --> 00:46:38,525 Yeah. I just need you to sign this here. 744 00:46:38,629 --> 00:46:41,996 It say if your world fuck up my world. Okay... 745 00:46:42,099 --> 00:46:45,068 you don't get shit out of my world. Okay? 746 00:46:45,169 --> 00:46:47,899 You just go the fuck on back to your world." 747 00:46:48,005 --> 00:46:51,634 That's a hard thing to do with them prenups and stuff. 748 00:46:51,742 --> 00:46:54,643 Let me ask you a question. Do you believe in the prenuptials? 749 00:46:59,716 --> 00:47:02,184 Okay. Wow! Y'all believe in that. 750 00:47:02,286 --> 00:47:04,516 Wow. Who don't believe in it? 751 00:47:06,623 --> 00:47:09,990 Overruled. Overruled! 752 00:47:10,093 --> 00:47:12,357 I see you say. "Uh-uh." You don't believe in that. 753 00:47:12,462 --> 00:47:15,090 That's cool. That's cool 'cause you believe that if it's love... 754 00:47:15,199 --> 00:47:17,497 let it be pure and just roll with that... 755 00:47:17,601 --> 00:47:20,365 and let the heart take over and see what happens. 756 00:47:20,470 --> 00:47:22,370 That's a beautiful thing. That's a beautiful thing. 757 00:47:22,472 --> 00:47:25,032 So let me ask you... This is hypothetically speaking here. 758 00:47:26,443 --> 00:47:29,412 Let's say we was getting married or some shit. Right? 759 00:47:29,513 --> 00:47:31,481 This is hypothetical. Okay? 760 00:47:31,582 --> 00:47:34,483 And coming into the marriage. going in... 761 00:47:34,585 --> 00:47:38,077 I got 400 million. let's say. 762 00:47:39,189 --> 00:47:41,680 And that's what I'm coming in with... 763 00:47:41,792 --> 00:47:45,193 and... you comin' in with a bag. 764 00:47:49,867 --> 00:47:52,233 You still think you should get some of that 400 mil? 765 00:47:52,336 --> 00:47:54,964 - Half and half. - Yeah. You be leaving. 766 00:47:55,072 --> 00:47:57,040 "Damn. That's fucked up. 767 00:47:57,140 --> 00:47:59,233 You could put something in this bag." 768 00:48:01,378 --> 00:48:04,575 I guess I can't answer that. I guess to each his own. 769 00:48:04,681 --> 00:48:06,581 Fellas. I don't know. I ain't no doctor. 770 00:48:06,683 --> 00:48:09,379 I ain't no psychologist. But I'm gonna tell you like this. 771 00:48:09,486 --> 00:48:11,613 If a woman tell you she a virgin and you gettin' ready to marry her... 772 00:48:11,722 --> 00:48:13,849 test that pussy out before you marry her. 773 00:48:13,957 --> 00:48:15,857 That's just the way it goes. Don't do it. 774 00:48:15,959 --> 00:48:18,689 Don't get into it. and then it ain't what you want. 775 00:48:18,795 --> 00:48:21,195 You never know. You gotta test that pussy out. 776 00:48:21,298 --> 00:48:23,596 'Cause if you marry 'em and then get it... 777 00:48:23,700 --> 00:48:26,965 and wind up falling in the pussy. you'd be. "Oh. Shit!" 778 00:48:27,070 --> 00:48:30,767 You'd be in the land of Oz out that motherfucker. 779 00:48:30,874 --> 00:48:33,638 "Where the fuck am I? Is this fallopian? Is this fallopian?" 780 00:48:35,712 --> 00:48:37,680 So you gotta test it out. 781 00:48:37,781 --> 00:48:40,773 It's just like you test-drive a car or something. 782 00:48:40,884 --> 00:48:43,216 You take a car around the corner. bring it back to the dealer... 783 00:48:43,320 --> 00:48:45,880 "Naw. I ain't gonna be able to get this. Cuz. 784 00:48:45,989 --> 00:48:48,014 Yeah. Naw. Naw. Naw. Naw. Fuck that. Dude. 785 00:48:48,125 --> 00:48:51,219 The wheels. They don't rotate right on this motherfucker." 786 00:48:51,328 --> 00:48:56,425 Test it out. If you don't check before you get married. Fuck around... 787 00:48:56,533 --> 00:48:59,434 wind up marrying a hermaphrodite. 788 00:49:01,571 --> 00:49:04,233 That's right. You thought that was a big-ass clit. 789 00:49:04,341 --> 00:49:06,866 Turned out to be a dick. 790 00:49:08,278 --> 00:49:11,111 Now you fucked up. You're..."Oh. Shit." 791 00:49:11,214 --> 00:49:14,206 Can't talk to your boys and shit. "What's up. Dog?" 792 00:49:16,286 --> 00:49:20,484 "I married somebody with a fuckin' dick I thought was a clit." 793 00:49:20,590 --> 00:49:22,558 You don't want to do that. 794 00:49:23,860 --> 00:49:25,953 Clit so big. it looked like a thumb. 795 00:49:28,765 --> 00:49:30,858 So check it out. Ain't nothin' wrong with that. 796 00:49:30,968 --> 00:49:32,936 Ladies. The same with you. 797 00:49:33,036 --> 00:49:35,436 Don't marry no man that you don't know what you gettin'. 798 00:49:37,274 --> 00:49:39,674 Yeah. You gotta marry that man. you gonna know what you gettin'. 799 00:49:39,776 --> 00:49:42,040 'Cause if not. you marry him and don't know... 800 00:49:42,145 --> 00:49:45,046 you gonna be a bitter housewife on the phone with your girlfriend. Crying... 801 00:49:45,148 --> 00:49:47,048 "You ain't gonna believe this shit. Girl. 802 00:49:47,150 --> 00:49:50,551 Damn it. You ain't gonna believe this shit. Girl! 803 00:49:50,654 --> 00:49:53,452 This motherfucker can't do nothin'. Girl. 804 00:49:53,557 --> 00:49:56,924 The best thing about it was the ceremony. Girl. 805 00:49:58,028 --> 00:50:01,156 Ah. Shit! He noodle dick. Girl." 806 00:50:01,264 --> 00:50:03,232 You don't want to go through that. 807 00:50:03,333 --> 00:50:05,927 That's why what you do... 808 00:50:06,036 --> 00:50:08,061 you tell the man... You grab him. Iook at it. 809 00:50:08,171 --> 00:50:11,368 Look at the dick. Grab it in your hand. Look at it. 810 00:50:11,475 --> 00:50:15,172 You know what I mean? Hold it. Become the dick. 811 00:50:17,180 --> 00:50:20,172 And look at it. Look on the head. 812 00:50:20,283 --> 00:50:24,515 Look on the sides. Look up under the balls. 813 00:50:24,621 --> 00:50:28,113 Look at it and ask questions. 814 00:50:28,225 --> 00:50:31,319 "What's those two bumps right there? 815 00:50:37,134 --> 00:50:40,467 What's those two bumps on your helmet? 816 00:50:42,439 --> 00:50:45,408 Well. Have you tried putting Mercurochrome on that? 817 00:50:45,509 --> 00:50:48,376 No. You haven't. Huh? Okay. 818 00:50:50,380 --> 00:50:52,644 Why you got a boil up under your balls? 819 00:50:54,918 --> 00:50:56,886 That is a boil. Okay? 820 00:50:56,987 --> 00:51:00,320 That is not a hair bump. That is a boil. 821 00:51:02,225 --> 00:51:04,159 Uh-huh. Okay. Hold up. Wait. 822 00:51:04,261 --> 00:51:06,855 Fuck this. Hold on. Wait. 823 00:51:06,963 --> 00:51:10,262 Okay. Now you got a boil... 824 00:51:11,301 --> 00:51:14,793 two balls and two bumps? 825 00:51:16,006 --> 00:51:19,305 Uh-uh. I ain't gonna be able to do it. 826 00:51:20,343 --> 00:51:22,743 No. I ain't gonna be able to do it. 827 00:51:25,549 --> 00:51:27,676 I am not marrying no Nutty Buddy. 828 00:51:30,187 --> 00:51:32,883 I'm not gonna be able to do it. 829 00:51:32,989 --> 00:51:36,584 That is too many bumps on one dick. Uh-uh. 830 00:51:36,693 --> 00:51:39,526 Dick look like a Crunch Bar. I'm sorry. I just... 831 00:51:39,629 --> 00:51:43,121 I can't do it. I won't do it. I just won't." 832 00:51:49,673 --> 00:51:54,269 Talk and communicate... so you know these things. 833 00:51:54,377 --> 00:51:58,711 And so you check... You know what you're getting and you can be happy. 834 00:51:58,815 --> 00:52:02,080 Make him get butt naked. Tell your man. "Butt naked." 835 00:52:02,185 --> 00:52:04,085 Tell him to line up right. Look at him. 836 00:52:04,187 --> 00:52:06,212 Make sure the dick is in line right. 837 00:52:06,323 --> 00:52:09,724 Make sure it's straight. Make sure. Okay? 838 00:52:09,826 --> 00:52:11,794 If you don't do that. You'll wind up marrying a motherfucker... 839 00:52:11,895 --> 00:52:14,125 with a hook in his dick. 840 00:52:14,231 --> 00:52:16,256 Gotta fuck you like this. 841 00:52:30,113 --> 00:52:32,274 You don't want that. You don't need that pressure. 842 00:52:34,985 --> 00:52:38,079 You should not have to go around the corner every time he wants to fuck. 843 00:52:40,390 --> 00:52:43,359 "It's just better for my balance. I got you. You feel me now? 844 00:52:43,460 --> 00:52:46,258 You feel me now. Don't you? You feel me?" 845 00:52:46,363 --> 00:52:49,161 Chasing you around the room and shit. 846 00:52:51,801 --> 00:52:55,032 So please. Check all those things. 847 00:52:55,138 --> 00:52:57,663 And then when you're ready to get married. You get married. 848 00:52:57,774 --> 00:53:00,106 And you're ready for the ceremony. 849 00:53:11,087 --> 00:53:13,612 Ladies love them ceremonies. Don't you. Ladies? 850 00:53:13,723 --> 00:53:16,988 You love to invite people you love and people you hate. 851 00:53:17,093 --> 00:53:21,587 And look at them women that's looking at you going. "Look at me. Bitch. 852 00:53:21,698 --> 00:53:23,928 Look how I float. Bitch." 853 00:53:33,009 --> 00:53:36,172 And ladies love to wear that white. 854 00:53:36,279 --> 00:53:38,372 With the veil and wear that white. 855 00:53:39,849 --> 00:53:41,817 'Cause white stands for pure. 856 00:53:45,655 --> 00:53:48,556 White. Pure. White. Come on! 857 00:53:49,693 --> 00:53:53,652 Some of y'all need to be wearing dark black. 858 00:53:55,565 --> 00:53:57,658 Tease 'em taupe. 859 00:53:59,703 --> 00:54:02,695 Sneaky salmon. 860 00:54:02,806 --> 00:54:05,673 Money green. All that shit. 861 00:54:05,775 --> 00:54:08,243 Talkin' about wearing white... 862 00:54:08,345 --> 00:54:11,337 knowing they done fucked the usher last week. 863 00:54:11,448 --> 00:54:13,416 Come on. Now. Wear your color. 864 00:54:13,516 --> 00:54:15,916 That's all I ask. Wear your color. 865 00:54:17,754 --> 00:54:20,746 Marriage. Man. It's hard. It ain't easy. 866 00:54:20,857 --> 00:54:22,757 I'll tell you. One thing I did come to learn. 867 00:54:22,859 --> 00:54:25,760 A lot of people that are married. you know. Either... 868 00:54:25,862 --> 00:54:30,128 Someone in the marriage either smokes herb or drinks. 869 00:54:33,536 --> 00:54:36,937 "Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah." That's some true shit. Ain't it? 870 00:54:37,040 --> 00:54:39,941 I got some partners. "Yeah. Yeah. I got to go home to the wife. Yo. 871 00:54:40,043 --> 00:54:42,705 She get on my nerves every time I go in that motherfuckin' door. 872 00:54:42,812 --> 00:54:45,940 Yeah. Yeah. Roll me one of them blunts. Joe. 873 00:54:46,049 --> 00:54:48,779 Roll me one of them motherfuckers. Yeah. Make that a fat one. Man. 874 00:54:48,885 --> 00:54:51,854 When I smoke that shit. Man. That bitch look like Janet Jackson. Nigger." 875 00:54:55,158 --> 00:54:58,958 Or they drink. If you check all the bars. They're mostly married men. 876 00:54:59,062 --> 00:55:02,589 Just look at it. They're mostly married. and they in there dreading going home. 877 00:55:02,699 --> 00:55:05,759 They in the bar. "Oh. Shit. 878 00:55:05,869 --> 00:55:09,999 Make me another drink. Earl. Oh. God. I got to go home to the wife. 879 00:55:10,106 --> 00:55:13,701 Yeah. I don't know. Earl. You know what? Make it a double. 880 00:55:13,810 --> 00:55:18,509 She wants to fuck tonight. Oh. God. Well. Here's to her. Oh. God." 881 00:55:20,717 --> 00:55:25,051 They go in the house. "Honey. I'm home." They start drinking some more. 882 00:55:25,155 --> 00:55:27,055 The in-house drunk is a motherfuck... 883 00:55:27,157 --> 00:55:29,057 'cause he says things when he gets drinkin'... 884 00:55:29,159 --> 00:55:31,753 and once that alcohol hits his system... 885 00:55:31,861 --> 00:55:34,796 that he probably is just out of order for sayin'. 886 00:55:34,898 --> 00:55:38,834 But he don't realize it 'cause he's so drunk. And now... 887 00:55:38,935 --> 00:55:42,871 that liquor taps into his emotions. and he starts tellin' this woman... 888 00:55:42,972 --> 00:55:45,532 everything he's been wantin' to say when he was sober. 889 00:55:45,642 --> 00:55:47,610 But he don't have the courage to say it when he's sober... 890 00:55:47,711 --> 00:55:50,043 and he says it when he's drunk. 891 00:55:51,848 --> 00:55:55,079 "Darlin'. Do me a favor. will you? Mm-hmm. 892 00:55:55,185 --> 00:55:58,484 Yes. Baby. It's so good. I'm glad I'm home. Mm-hmm. 893 00:55:58,588 --> 00:56:02,046 Yeah. I think about you all day. Mm-hmm. I'm glad. 894 00:56:02,158 --> 00:56:06,219 Do me a favor. Never mind all that. Would you make me a drink. Darlin'? 895 00:56:06,329 --> 00:56:08,627 Yeah. Uh-huh. Just a little Courvoisier. 896 00:56:10,567 --> 00:56:13,195 Put a little something in that glass for me right there. Darlin'. 897 00:56:13,303 --> 00:56:15,271 Thank you so much. Baby. 898 00:56:17,574 --> 00:56:19,565 Yeah. That's good Courvoisier. 899 00:56:20,610 --> 00:56:23,170 Make you say yea. 900 00:56:25,882 --> 00:56:29,784 Darlin'. Put a couple of cubes of ice in there. Cut that warmth off for me. 901 00:56:29,886 --> 00:56:33,481 Thank you. Baby. Mm-hmm. 902 00:56:37,127 --> 00:56:39,095 That is a good drink there! 903 00:56:39,195 --> 00:56:42,460 That is a good drink there! 904 00:56:47,270 --> 00:56:49,238 That's my drink there. 905 00:56:51,040 --> 00:56:53,008 That is my drink. 906 00:56:53,032 --> 00:57:05,032 ...:::Lord Sadler:::... lordsadler2012@gmail.com 907 00:57:06,956 --> 00:57:08,924 Can I ask you something? 908 00:57:12,362 --> 00:57:15,422 When the fuck you gonna grow your hair back? 909 00:57:15,532 --> 00:57:19,298 I'm tired. Yes. I said. Yes. Tired. 910 00:57:19,402 --> 00:57:22,428 Uh-huh. You're a bald-headed little motherfucker. 911 00:57:22,539 --> 00:57:25,770 You told me you was gettin' the... 912 00:57:25,875 --> 00:57:28,275 the Halle Berry look. 913 00:57:30,814 --> 00:57:32,782 Halle Berry don't look like that. 914 00:57:34,451 --> 00:57:36,476 I feel like you set me up. 915 00:57:37,854 --> 00:57:39,321 Motherfucker. 916 00:57:40,390 --> 00:57:43,154 I don't give a shit. 917 00:57:45,829 --> 00:57:49,458 Darlin'. Put one more cube of ice in there for me. 918 00:57:49,566 --> 00:57:51,659 Cut that warmth. Thank you. Doll. 919 00:57:54,704 --> 00:57:57,172 That was good. 920 00:57:57,273 --> 00:57:59,173 Can I ask you something? 921 00:58:00,710 --> 00:58:05,147 How is it you got more motherfuckin' shavin' bumps than me? 922 00:58:13,957 --> 00:58:16,551 How you got more? 923 00:58:16,659 --> 00:58:18,650 How is it you got more? 924 00:58:18,761 --> 00:58:22,128 I don't give a fuck. I don't give a fuck. 925 00:58:23,366 --> 00:58:26,267 Every week. You tellin' me... 926 00:58:26,369 --> 00:58:29,338 you gonna get your lip waxed. 927 00:58:30,540 --> 00:58:33,441 You might as well just let 'em take the whole lip. 928 00:58:35,245 --> 00:58:38,009 'Cause that shit sitting out there like Sasquatch. 929 00:58:39,949 --> 00:58:42,645 Fuck that. Fuck that. 930 00:58:42,752 --> 00:58:45,812 If I wanted to marry Scottie from the Whisper Bitch... 931 00:58:45,922 --> 00:58:47,890 I would've married him. 932 00:58:49,692 --> 00:58:52,991 Motherfucker. Fuck that. Fuck that. I said it. Huh? 933 00:58:57,233 --> 00:59:00,760 That's because I feel bad about it. Girl. Okay? 934 00:59:00,870 --> 00:59:02,838 I said. 'Okay? ' 935 00:59:05,241 --> 00:59:09,405 Okay? You didn't talk to me about it. 936 00:59:09,512 --> 00:59:12,709 When you first gained five pounds... 937 00:59:12,815 --> 00:59:14,077 that was cute. 938 00:59:14,183 --> 00:59:18,313 I'm-a admit. I'm-a admit that. Okay? That was cute. 939 00:59:18,421 --> 00:59:21,857 But 75 pounds? Goddamn! 940 00:59:21,958 --> 00:59:24,620 What kind of fuckin' fool you take me for? 941 00:59:26,829 --> 00:59:29,525 My motherfuckin' ankles is still swollen... 942 00:59:29,632 --> 00:59:31,998 from the last time we toyed around. 943 00:59:34,337 --> 00:59:36,965 Look at you. Oh. God. Look at you. 944 00:59:39,042 --> 00:59:41,442 That is a good drink there. 945 00:59:42,779 --> 00:59:44,747 I remember when I met you. 946 00:59:46,416 --> 00:59:50,648 You was a 115 tender bone. 947 00:59:52,021 --> 00:59:53,989 Yes. You was. 948 00:59:54,090 --> 00:59:58,390 You was the finest thing my eyes ever seen. 949 00:59:59,429 --> 01:00:03,456 You was a round-the-way girl. 950 01:00:05,101 --> 01:00:07,695 Now you just a big bitch from up the street. 951 01:00:08,805 --> 01:00:10,773 Goddamn! Huh? 952 01:00:14,143 --> 01:00:15,667 Motherfucker! 953 01:00:15,778 --> 01:00:17,507 I don't give a damn. 954 01:00:17,614 --> 01:00:19,548 Don't give a damn. 955 01:00:19,649 --> 01:00:21,549 And I don't like your mother and your family. 956 01:00:21,651 --> 01:00:24,245 I don't like none of you motherfuckers. 957 01:00:24,354 --> 01:00:28,688 Every year... Every year we gotta do the family thing. 958 01:00:28,791 --> 01:00:30,691 Everybody brings potluck. 959 01:00:30,793 --> 01:00:33,353 Fuck that! None of you motherfuckers can cook. 960 01:00:34,163 --> 01:00:37,189 And your mother... Tell her to stay the fuck out of my face. 961 01:00:37,300 --> 01:00:39,029 Always in my face. 962 01:00:40,136 --> 01:00:43,537 'How was my macaroni and cheese? ' 963 01:00:43,640 --> 01:00:45,130 It's fucked up. Bitch! 964 01:00:47,210 --> 01:00:51,544 Don't nobody put pasteurized cheese in macaroni and cheese. 965 01:00:51,648 --> 01:00:53,047 You got to use cheddar. 966 01:00:53,883 --> 01:00:55,942 Cheddar's what you use. 967 01:00:56,052 --> 01:00:57,952 My mama taught me that. 968 01:01:09,666 --> 01:01:11,133 I don't care! 969 01:01:13,503 --> 01:01:16,404 I'm looking at you. and I can't imagine it. 970 01:01:18,041 --> 01:01:20,942 There should be a clause in my contract that says... 971 01:01:21,044 --> 01:01:25,208 if your ass gets bigger than what you weighed in when we married... 972 01:01:25,314 --> 01:01:27,714 I don't have to fuck with you. 973 01:01:35,558 --> 01:01:37,458 Fuck it. Be a man. 974 01:01:45,168 --> 01:01:49,002 You was... When I first met you... Darlin'. I'm gonna say this. 975 01:01:49,105 --> 01:01:51,505 You were looking good from afar. 976 01:01:52,642 --> 01:01:55,304 Now you're just far from looking good. 977 01:02:00,216 --> 01:02:01,979 I don't like you... 978 01:02:02,085 --> 01:02:04,451 and you don't like me. Okay? 979 01:02:05,254 --> 01:02:07,722 I'm taking karate every day! 980 01:02:09,158 --> 01:02:11,092 I'm taking kung fu. 981 01:02:11,194 --> 01:02:12,991 I'm taking jujitsu. 982 01:02:13,096 --> 01:02:15,223 I'm taking all the martial arts. 983 01:02:15,331 --> 01:02:17,765 I'm trying to master that shit... 984 01:02:17,867 --> 01:02:22,327 so I can figure out how to choke the fucking life out your ass... 985 01:02:22,438 --> 01:02:25,339 without them tracing it back to forensics... 986 01:02:25,441 --> 01:02:27,341 you big bitch. You. 987 01:02:32,882 --> 01:02:34,281 You know what? 988 01:02:36,185 --> 01:02:39,643 Let me put this drink down before I say some shit I shouldn't say." 989 01:02:50,597 --> 01:02:54,328 Wow. But you know the ladies ain't gonna let you get away with that shit. 990 01:02:54,434 --> 01:02:58,131 You gonna pay the price for that. You know what I mean? 991 01:02:58,238 --> 01:03:02,072 'Cause she will wake your ass up. cuss you out..."Fuck you! Get your ass up!" 992 01:03:02,175 --> 01:03:05,804 You wake up and you don't even know why you're up or what happened. 993 01:03:05,912 --> 01:03:10,178 "What's the problem?" "You know what the problem is. You dirty bastard! 994 01:03:10,283 --> 01:03:13,184 I got big 'cause I don't want your ass. Motherfucker. 995 01:03:13,286 --> 01:03:15,948 You're so ugly. you look like we got a dog. 996 01:03:16,055 --> 01:03:19,388 That's what the neighbors think. you bastard." 997 01:03:19,492 --> 01:03:20,720 They get angry. 998 01:03:20,827 --> 01:03:25,389 They will take it in. And they will be quiet and let you talk shit and all that... 999 01:03:25,498 --> 01:03:26,897 but they getting you back. 1000 01:03:27,000 --> 01:03:30,561 If you ever wake up sore... I mean. Really fucked up. Hurtin'... 1001 01:03:30,670 --> 01:03:34,629 nine times out of ten you got your ass whupped in your sleep. 1002 01:03:35,842 --> 01:03:39,107 And the only reason why you didn't wake up is 'cause you was out. 1003 01:03:39,212 --> 01:03:41,476 That liquor had your ass out. 1004 01:03:41,581 --> 01:03:43,640 They running through the motherfuckin' house... 1005 01:04:22,522 --> 01:04:24,422 You wake up the next day... 1006 01:04:24,524 --> 01:04:25,582 "My neck! 1007 01:04:25,692 --> 01:04:27,592 My motherfucking neck! 1008 01:04:35,602 --> 01:04:38,070 I don't know what's wrong with me! 1009 01:04:38,171 --> 01:04:40,571 I don't know what's wrong... This morning... 1010 01:04:40,673 --> 01:04:42,231 What's wrong with me?" 1011 01:04:43,343 --> 01:04:45,140 She just gonna look at you... 1012 01:04:45,245 --> 01:04:48,737 "Maybe you should stop drinking Courvoisier." 1013 01:04:50,483 --> 01:04:53,611 Be careful. Man. That shit can happen. 1014 01:04:54,420 --> 01:04:56,888 I don't know if you guys saw the film. 1015 01:04:56,990 --> 01:04:59,390 It kind of highlighted my life. 1016 01:05:00,860 --> 01:05:03,693 You know. Through it all... 1017 01:05:03,796 --> 01:05:06,321 I come to learn what I got to do in my life... 1018 01:05:06,432 --> 01:05:11,301 What we all gotta do in our life is ride this motherfucker till the wheels fall off. 1019 01:05:11,404 --> 01:05:13,668 We gotta live. Ride it till the wheels fall off. 1020 01:05:15,608 --> 01:05:18,771 You might have looked at the tape. It said one day I was... 1021 01:05:19,879 --> 01:05:21,779 I was out in the street. 1022 01:05:23,082 --> 01:05:26,745 This is some shit they said about... They had it highlighted. 1023 01:05:26,853 --> 01:05:29,185 They said I was out in the street... 1024 01:05:29,289 --> 01:05:33,282 and I was yelling stuff out in the street and doing stuff. 1025 01:05:33,393 --> 01:05:36,294 Listen. Y'all. I was married at the time. 1026 01:05:36,396 --> 01:05:39,126 Now. I'm not blaming that for that. Okay? 1027 01:05:39,232 --> 01:05:42,565 But. Okay. At the time... I'm gonna tell you what happened. 1028 01:05:42,669 --> 01:05:46,571 'Cause that's how they put their story down. Okay? 1029 01:05:46,673 --> 01:05:48,937 I'm gonna tell it. But that's how they do theirs. 1030 01:05:49,042 --> 01:05:50,600 But. See. L... 1031 01:05:50,710 --> 01:05:53,611 The day that all that went down... 1032 01:05:55,348 --> 01:05:56,940 I'm gonna tell it. 1033 01:05:57,050 --> 01:05:59,678 The day that all that went down... 1034 01:05:59,786 --> 01:06:03,984 I was married. And the wife asked me to go to the store to get something to eat. 1035 01:06:04,090 --> 01:06:08,117 And being the good husband that I am. I said. "Sure. I'll go." 1036 01:06:08,227 --> 01:06:11,355 Now that I think about it. I don't know why I was out there... 1037 01:06:11,464 --> 01:06:13,557 getting something to eat at McDonald's... 1038 01:06:13,666 --> 01:06:17,124 when. As hard as I work. I should've had a home-cooked fuckin' meal. 1039 01:06:18,237 --> 01:06:19,363 You know? 1040 01:06:19,472 --> 01:06:21,269 But then again... 1041 01:06:21,374 --> 01:06:24,070 I should've asked that question that day. 1042 01:06:25,178 --> 01:06:27,078 So I go out in the street... 1043 01:06:27,180 --> 01:06:30,081 and I go to run across the street... I was trying to catch the light. 1044 01:06:30,183 --> 01:06:32,549 I go to run across the street and... 1045 01:06:32,652 --> 01:06:35,086 because how the light changed. I got caught in the middle of the street. 1046 01:06:35,188 --> 01:06:39,124 Next thing I know. they got firemen. They got ambulance... 1047 01:06:39,225 --> 01:06:43,161 they got the police. Everybody out there with guns... all of'em had guns... 1048 01:06:43,262 --> 01:06:46,595 just because I tried to run across the street. 1049 01:06:47,834 --> 01:06:51,235 No. I'm fucking with you. I was higher than a motherfucker. Y'all. 1050 01:06:54,140 --> 01:06:56,267 I was high as shit! 1051 01:06:57,377 --> 01:06:59,277 Oh. My fuckin' goodness! 1052 01:07:00,380 --> 01:07:01,745 Oh! 1053 01:07:01,848 --> 01:07:04,749 I was smokin' that ooh-wee! 1054 01:07:06,352 --> 01:07:09,753 That shit done had me all lunch-box. 1055 01:07:11,724 --> 01:07:14,192 I should have known something was wrong. 1056 01:07:14,293 --> 01:07:18,525 I start blazin' that shit. and I knew I started seeing blue smoke... 1057 01:07:18,631 --> 01:07:21,361 but the shit didn't hit me till I'm walking in the street. 1058 01:07:21,467 --> 01:07:24,527 Some shit said. "Run real fast right now." 1059 01:07:33,279 --> 01:07:35,440 Fuckin' runnin' in the street! 1060 01:07:35,548 --> 01:07:37,448 Fuckin' with the ooh-wee! 1061 01:07:40,253 --> 01:07:41,880 I'm running like crazy. 1062 01:07:41,988 --> 01:07:44,889 What kind of shit has the dope man sold me? 1063 01:07:46,125 --> 01:07:50,084 I'm in that motherfucker just ducking cars. Fucking with the cars... 1064 01:07:50,196 --> 01:07:53,222 jumping out the way. fucking with the cars and shit. 1065 01:07:59,872 --> 01:08:02,397 Next thing you know. the motherfucking... 1066 01:08:02,508 --> 01:08:04,942 police and firemen and the ambulance... 1067 01:08:05,044 --> 01:08:07,911 "Mr. Lawrence. Son. What's wrong? Calm down!" 1068 01:08:08,014 --> 01:08:11,472 And I'm up there looking at them. all crazy. 1069 01:08:13,820 --> 01:08:17,187 They looking at me. I'm looking at them. 1070 01:08:18,291 --> 01:08:20,486 I start singing... How come I feel like 1071 01:08:20,593 --> 01:08:22,686 Somebody's watching me 1072 01:08:23,863 --> 01:08:27,264 I start singing Rockwell up in that motherfucker. 1073 01:08:27,366 --> 01:08:31,268 I said. "That dope man done sold me the ooh-wee." 1074 01:08:31,370 --> 01:08:32,997 Oh. Shit. 1075 01:08:33,106 --> 01:08:35,768 I seen all of them. And I thought my audience had changed... 1076 01:08:35,875 --> 01:08:38,776 so I start performing for 'em. dancing and shit. 1077 01:08:54,093 --> 01:08:55,617 Lunchin'. 1078 01:08:55,728 --> 01:08:56,786 Lunchin'! 1079 01:08:59,699 --> 01:09:01,860 Fuckin' with that ooh-wee. Man. 1080 01:09:01,968 --> 01:09:03,959 My damn... 1081 01:09:04,070 --> 01:09:06,766 My arm hit my jacket... 1082 01:09:06,873 --> 01:09:09,000 and my jacket flew open. 1083 01:09:09,108 --> 01:09:11,201 And they gonna say I had a gun 'cause my jacket... 1084 01:09:11,310 --> 01:09:13,574 I did have a gun. 1085 01:09:13,679 --> 01:09:15,169 That's true. I did. 1086 01:09:15,281 --> 01:09:17,340 But I ain't have it to hurt nobody. 1087 01:09:17,450 --> 01:09:21,147 I just have it 'cause I'm by myself. I didn't know if somebody would jump me. 1088 01:09:21,254 --> 01:09:23,552 Bang-bang-bang-bang. Trigger tai chi. 1089 01:09:23,656 --> 01:09:25,851 I didn't know. You know. 1090 01:09:25,958 --> 01:09:28,017 But I wasn't trying to hurt nobody. 1091 01:09:28,127 --> 01:09:29,685 Next thing you know... 1092 01:09:29,795 --> 01:09:32,923 when they saw that gun. these motherfuckers loaded up. 1093 01:09:33,032 --> 01:09:36,593 Every one of them... the firemen. ambulance. Everybody pulled out guns. 1094 01:09:36,702 --> 01:09:40,229 Yes. Sir. And I heard somebody yell. "Nigger with gun! Nigger with gun!" 1095 01:09:41,507 --> 01:09:42,838 They got ready to fire. 1096 01:09:42,942 --> 01:09:44,773 I passed out like a motherfucker. 1097 01:09:47,413 --> 01:09:51,315 Somebody done fucked around and sold me the ooh-wee. 1098 01:09:54,787 --> 01:09:56,687 I passed the fuck out. Y'all. 1099 01:09:57,790 --> 01:09:59,485 And I'm on the motherfuckin'... 1100 01:10:00,626 --> 01:10:03,094 I wake up. I don't know. ten minutes. Fifteen... 1101 01:10:03,196 --> 01:10:05,596 I wasn't countin' time. 1102 01:10:07,066 --> 01:10:09,933 And they had me on a gurney... 1103 01:10:10,036 --> 01:10:12,527 with cameramen and everybody in my fuckin' face... 1104 01:10:12,638 --> 01:10:15,539 flashing pictures for y'all to see on the news. 1105 01:10:16,742 --> 01:10:20,109 Then they put me in a... in a paddy wagon... 1106 01:10:21,647 --> 01:10:23,638 slash-ambulance. 1107 01:10:25,818 --> 01:10:28,150 They want to show that they cared... 1108 01:10:28,254 --> 01:10:31,280 but I'm lunchin'. So they're gonna take me to jail or some shit. 1109 01:10:31,390 --> 01:10:35,292 So they're ready to take me to jail. but I'm in there talking shit... 1110 01:10:35,394 --> 01:10:38,830 singing on the bed. Or the gurney. laying there singing shit. 1111 01:10:38,931 --> 01:10:42,867 That just didn't sound right..."We're gonna have to take you to the precinct." 1112 01:10:42,969 --> 01:10:44,937 And I'm lunchin' and shit. and I say... 1113 01:10:45,037 --> 01:10:47,437 "Monkeys like to play volleyball." 1114 01:10:50,176 --> 01:10:51,768 I'm laying there... 1115 01:10:51,877 --> 01:10:53,936 "Pit bulls like to wear Jordans." 1116 01:10:55,047 --> 01:10:57,948 That's when they realized I was sicker than they thought. 1117 01:10:58,050 --> 01:11:02,350 They said. "He's got something in his system that got him sick-witted. 1118 01:11:02,455 --> 01:11:05,356 Fuck taking him to jail. Let's take him to the hospital." 1119 01:11:05,458 --> 01:11:07,585 Them motherfuckers rushed me to the hospital... 1120 01:11:07,693 --> 01:11:10,890 put me in a padded room with just a big-ass mirror... 1121 01:11:10,997 --> 01:11:13,989 where you could kind of see through... You knew they was on the other side. 1122 01:11:14,100 --> 01:11:17,536 And I didn't help. 'cause I'm still in there lunchin' and shit. 1123 01:11:18,638 --> 01:11:21,004 Working on moves and shit. 1124 01:11:21,107 --> 01:11:22,836 Two to the right. 1125 01:11:22,942 --> 01:11:24,341 One to the left. 1126 01:11:24,443 --> 01:11:25,842 Think about it. 1127 01:11:27,146 --> 01:11:28,477 Lunchin'. 1128 01:11:28,581 --> 01:11:30,105 Fuckin' lunchin'. 1129 01:11:32,952 --> 01:11:35,352 Then a doctor came in. Y'all. 1130 01:11:35,454 --> 01:11:39,185 He was a fan of the show. And he really wanted to see me get out of there. 1131 01:11:39,292 --> 01:11:43,661 He said. "Listen. Son. I'm a doctor. I'm not here to hurt you." 1132 01:11:43,763 --> 01:11:46,823 I'm moving. Can't stay still. and he's a little nervous. 1133 01:11:46,932 --> 01:11:51,198 He said. "I don't know what happened. but you almost got yourself killed. 1134 01:11:51,304 --> 01:11:54,296 You were carrying a firearm. and I don't know what you were thinking. 1135 01:11:54,407 --> 01:11:58,138 But listen. We ran tests. We checked your blood. Son. 1136 01:11:58,244 --> 01:12:01,645 And we can't find anything in your blood." 1137 01:12:01,747 --> 01:12:06,150 For a second I was sober... "What the dope man done sold me?" 1138 01:12:08,020 --> 01:12:10,921 You know. When they can't find it in your blood? 1139 01:12:12,158 --> 01:12:14,888 So he said. "I wanna help you get the fuck home. 1140 01:12:14,994 --> 01:12:18,430 I wanna get you out of here and back to your family. 1141 01:12:18,531 --> 01:12:22,729 But you're gonna have to help me to help you. That's what you can do. 1142 01:12:22,835 --> 01:12:25,702 I need to know what you were smoking... 1143 01:12:25,805 --> 01:12:27,773 and who sold it to you." 1144 01:12:29,075 --> 01:12:31,908 I sobered up for about 30 seconds. 1145 01:12:32,011 --> 01:12:34,878 "I can't tell you that. Doc. 1146 01:12:34,980 --> 01:12:38,279 That's a street code. We never tell. What the fuck you talking about?" 1147 01:12:40,319 --> 01:12:41,980 That's what I told him. 1148 01:12:42,088 --> 01:12:44,352 "You trying to get me fucked up by the dope man?" 1149 01:12:45,991 --> 01:12:48,926 Then it was time for me to go. 'cause I was together. 1150 01:12:49,028 --> 01:12:50,928 The ooh-wee had got out of my system. 1151 01:12:51,030 --> 01:12:54,227 I couldn't believe I was out on the street lunchin'. 1152 01:12:54,333 --> 01:12:57,996 I had the hottest show on. I couldn't believe these things was happening. 1153 01:12:58,104 --> 01:13:00,698 Marriage was on the brink. All kind of shit after that. 1154 01:13:00,806 --> 01:13:03,832 But before I left the hospital... 1155 01:13:03,943 --> 01:13:07,879 I got your love. And I felt your love and support for me. 1156 01:13:07,980 --> 01:13:09,379 You know? 1157 01:13:12,418 --> 01:13:15,512 And it was a beautiful thing. and I thank each and every one of you. 1158 01:13:15,621 --> 01:13:17,589 That meant a lot to me. 1159 01:13:17,690 --> 01:13:20,853 It truly meant a lot to me. so I'm forever grateful. 1160 01:13:20,960 --> 01:13:23,394 And I tell you... 1161 01:13:23,496 --> 01:13:26,397 celebrities came up to see me when I was in the hospital. 1162 01:13:26,499 --> 01:13:28,660 It was kinda wild. They came to see me. 1163 01:13:28,768 --> 01:13:32,431 Magic Johnson came to see me when I was in the hospital. 1164 01:13:32,538 --> 01:13:35,701 When I was going through one of my hardest times. He came and said... 1165 01:13:35,808 --> 01:13:37,901 "Martin. What are you doin'. Boy? 1166 01:13:39,178 --> 01:13:44,411 What are you doing out on the street. doing that crazy stuff like that. Man? 1167 01:13:44,517 --> 01:13:48,283 You gotta take care of yourself. You got a hot show. Don't blow it. Man. 1168 01:13:48,387 --> 01:13:51,550 You got to be like 'Show time!"' 1169 01:13:52,658 --> 01:13:56,025 That was a beautiful thing for Magic to give me that advice. 1170 01:13:56,128 --> 01:13:59,620 So since I had him there. I took the opportunity to ask him... 1171 01:13:59,732 --> 01:14:01,632 to get me on the Lakers. 1172 01:14:03,135 --> 01:14:06,832 And he said. "Sure. Mar. I'll see what I can do. Mar." 1173 01:14:06,939 --> 01:14:10,841 I know he went home and told Cookie. "Yeah. That motherfucker in bad shape. 1174 01:14:12,077 --> 01:14:15,308 He wanted to take Derek Fisher's job. I don't know what the fuck he's thinking." 1175 01:14:16,982 --> 01:14:20,008 So finally I got out of the hospital. 1176 01:14:20,119 --> 01:14:23,282 That was one thing I went through. I couldn't believe it. Fucked up. 1177 01:14:23,389 --> 01:14:26,256 I said. "Now I got the embarrassment hanging over me." 1178 01:14:26,358 --> 01:14:29,225 I never really wanted to go down that way. 1179 01:14:30,029 --> 01:14:32,623 But I had to move on. So... 1180 01:14:32,731 --> 01:14:34,631 I'm trying to get it together. 1181 01:14:34,733 --> 01:14:38,669 Couldn't really go home. 'cause it wasn't really going so well at home. 1182 01:14:38,771 --> 01:14:41,672 So I did what we all do when we're trying to get our life together... 1183 01:14:41,774 --> 01:14:43,674 I went to a club. 1184 01:14:45,978 --> 01:14:48,845 I'm out that motherfucker. Man... 1185 01:14:48,948 --> 01:14:51,917 I'm at the club dancing. Minding my business. Doing the ladies dance. 1186 01:14:52,017 --> 01:14:55,748 I'm a little off. Though. I ain't on the right dances yet. 1187 01:14:55,855 --> 01:14:57,755 I'm still on some old shit. 1188 01:14:57,857 --> 01:15:00,519 And some. You know... I don't know what this motherfucker was. 1189 01:15:00,626 --> 01:15:04,187 He bumped into me. And I said. "Watch yourself. Partner." 1190 01:15:04,296 --> 01:15:06,196 Then he go and push me. 1191 01:15:06,298 --> 01:15:08,357 I punched that boy in his mouth. 1192 01:15:08,467 --> 01:15:10,799 We rumblin' in there. 1193 01:15:10,903 --> 01:15:12,495 Then everybody clears out. 1194 01:15:12,605 --> 01:15:15,540 I'm rumblin'. Everybody clears out. Even he cleared out. 1195 01:15:15,641 --> 01:15:18,542 I said. "Damn. I know I can rumble. but hot damn! 1196 01:15:18,644 --> 01:15:21,204 Shouldn't have started it if you wasn't gonna finish." 1197 01:15:21,313 --> 01:15:24,214 So he runs out. And then all these damn cops come in... 1198 01:15:24,316 --> 01:15:27,217 about 30 fucking cops with shotguns and shit... 1199 01:15:27,319 --> 01:15:29,219 all for little-ass Martin. 1200 01:15:30,756 --> 01:15:33,657 Thirty cops. You'd have thought I was bin Laden. 1201 01:15:35,361 --> 01:15:39,525 They came in that motherfucker... "Mr. Lawrence!" 1202 01:15:39,632 --> 01:15:40,894 I fainted again. 1203 01:15:42,668 --> 01:15:45,296 How come I feel like somebody's watching me? 1204 01:15:45,404 --> 01:15:49,135 Next thing you know. They put me in jail. This time I didn't get off easy. 1205 01:15:49,241 --> 01:15:50,708 They said. "Fuck it. 1206 01:15:50,809 --> 01:15:54,074 On Ventura we didn't take you to jail. but now we're taking your ass to jail." 1207 01:15:54,179 --> 01:15:56,704 When I woke up. they had me ready to go. 1208 01:15:56,815 --> 01:16:00,842 I knew I was getting ready to go fuck around with them hardheads up in there. 1209 01:16:00,953 --> 01:16:03,251 I wasn't trying to get them to come at me right here... 1210 01:16:03,355 --> 01:16:05,255 so I jumped down and did some pushups. 1211 01:16:05,357 --> 01:16:08,258 I said. "Wait. Officer. let me do a few of these." 1212 01:16:08,360 --> 01:16:10,920 And I got real "deezed" on 'em. 1213 01:16:11,030 --> 01:16:13,260 My arms was hawked up a little bit... 1214 01:16:13,365 --> 01:16:15,765 so I could go up in that motherfucker and bang with these niggers. 1215 01:16:15,868 --> 01:16:18,336 "What? What. Nigger. What?" 1216 01:16:18,437 --> 01:16:22,840 So they take me to the precinct and throw me in the cell by myself. 1217 01:16:24,209 --> 01:16:27,110 So I'm sittin' in that motherfucker with the arms all swolled... 1218 01:16:27,212 --> 01:16:29,112 chest all "deezed." 1219 01:16:30,215 --> 01:16:32,615 Nobody to rumble out that motherfucker. 1220 01:16:34,153 --> 01:16:38,556 They said. "The best way to get back at Martin... let him stay by hisself." 1221 01:16:38,657 --> 01:16:42,616 The next thing you know. An hour go by. my "deez" drops a little bit. 1222 01:16:44,363 --> 01:16:47,264 Another hour go by. and they drop a little more. 1223 01:16:47,366 --> 01:16:51,200 About four hours go by. I'm holding my arms. Going. "Oh. Bitch. 1224 01:16:51,971 --> 01:16:53,871 I'm sorry! 1225 01:16:55,140 --> 01:16:58,200 He hit me first! 1226 01:16:58,310 --> 01:17:00,210 I'm not an animal! 1227 01:17:00,312 --> 01:17:02,872 I'm not an animal." 1228 01:17:02,982 --> 01:17:05,883 Finally they let me up out the motherfucker. 1229 01:17:05,985 --> 01:17:10,285 I'm getting ready to get outta there. thinking I'm going home and shit... 1230 01:17:10,389 --> 01:17:12,289 and they hand me a paper to go to court. 1231 01:17:12,391 --> 01:17:14,120 I go to court. 1232 01:17:14,226 --> 01:17:17,389 The judge I had was this. You know... he was a cool. Young white dude. 1233 01:17:17,496 --> 01:17:21,694 Didn't take no shit. But straight to the point. Tell you how it is. 1234 01:17:21,800 --> 01:17:24,928 He said. "Martin. What the fuck are you doing in my courtroom? 1235 01:17:25,037 --> 01:17:27,938 I wanna know why the fuck are you in my courtroom. 1236 01:17:28,040 --> 01:17:29,632 I don't understand that. 1237 01:17:29,742 --> 01:17:34,736 Whoa. Whoa. You mean I go to have my bagel and coffee this morning... 1238 01:17:34,847 --> 01:17:38,112 I look at the paperwork. And your fucking name is on my fucking desk? 1239 01:17:38,217 --> 01:17:40,981 What are you thinking? You know what you're doing? 1240 01:17:41,086 --> 01:17:44,351 You're making an ass out of yourself and you're blowing it. Kid. 1241 01:17:44,456 --> 01:17:45,855 You're blowing it. 1242 01:17:45,958 --> 01:17:48,859 You're in a position to do what a lot of people would love to do... 1243 01:17:48,961 --> 01:17:50,360 and you're throwing it away. 1244 01:17:50,462 --> 01:17:53,397 You're becoming a menace to society. and it doesn't even make sense. 1245 01:17:53,499 --> 01:17:58,698 Why don't you use all this exposure and shit to do something positive. Martin? 1246 01:17:58,804 --> 01:18:01,637 'Cause you're in my courtroom. I will lock your fucking ass up. 1247 01:18:01,740 --> 01:18:04,140 I don't give a shit. I will lock you up. 1248 01:18:04,243 --> 01:18:08,339 Yes. I'm down with the brothers and the homies. I will lock your ass up. 1249 01:18:08,447 --> 01:18:09,846 Okay? 1250 01:18:09,948 --> 01:18:12,849 I put someone away about a year ago. His name was Tank. 1251 01:18:12,951 --> 01:18:16,216 He thought he was bad. Now his name is Tina. 1252 01:18:16,321 --> 01:18:18,881 And Tina's wearing little tankies. Martin. 1253 01:18:18,991 --> 01:18:22,950 You need to get your shit together or leave it alone. I'll lock your ass up. 1254 01:18:23,062 --> 01:18:24,962 Okay? Ask Gary Coleman." 1255 01:18:28,834 --> 01:18:30,893 I said. "Oh. Shit! 1256 01:18:31,003 --> 01:18:33,995 You're right. I'll get it together. You're right. 1257 01:18:34,106 --> 01:18:35,869 I'll get it together." 1258 01:18:35,974 --> 01:18:38,204 And he said. "Not without probation." 1259 01:18:41,113 --> 01:18:43,013 And I said. "Never again. Never again." 1260 01:18:43,115 --> 01:18:46,676 I said. "Martin..." I asked myself. I said... 1261 01:18:46,785 --> 01:18:50,881 "How did you go through all that? How... That's stupid. 1262 01:18:50,989 --> 01:18:54,288 What you have gotten to do in your lifetime... 1263 01:18:54,393 --> 01:18:56,827 a lot of people would love to do. 1264 01:18:56,929 --> 01:19:00,763 Fortunately. God has blessed you with a gift to make people laugh... 1265 01:19:06,538 --> 01:19:08,938 and to do some very special things in life. 1266 01:19:09,808 --> 01:19:12,072 And you come that far to throw it away?" 1267 01:19:12,177 --> 01:19:14,077 Then it hit me. I said. "Nah." 1268 01:19:14,179 --> 01:19:18,548 I didn't want to keep jumping on myself and keep feeling down about myself. 1269 01:19:18,650 --> 01:19:21,244 I said. "Nah." But then it hit me. You know what? 1270 01:19:21,353 --> 01:19:23,583 I said. "I'm only human." 1271 01:19:23,689 --> 01:19:27,250 If I'm crucified for being a human. then so be it. 1272 01:19:27,359 --> 01:19:31,455 Because no one is immune to the trials and tribulations of life. 1273 01:19:31,563 --> 01:19:33,463 No one. 1274 01:19:33,565 --> 01:19:37,661 No matter what you do. you are not immune... 1275 01:19:37,770 --> 01:19:39,670 to the trials and tribulations of life. 1276 01:19:41,373 --> 01:19:43,273 As I got out... 1277 01:19:43,375 --> 01:19:45,434 and tried to get myself together... 1278 01:19:45,544 --> 01:19:48,843 I stopped fuckin' with the ooh-wee 'cause it wasn't for me. 1279 01:19:50,048 --> 01:19:51,447 That's a start. 1280 01:19:51,550 --> 01:19:54,451 So I got it together. I kept movin'. 1281 01:19:54,553 --> 01:19:57,613 I said. "Let me get my life together." and as I'm getting my life together... 1282 01:19:57,723 --> 01:20:00,123 I'm dealing with the motherfuckers writing bullshit about me... 1283 01:20:00,225 --> 01:20:02,125 saying negative things about me. 1284 01:20:02,227 --> 01:20:07,324 All these devils that just wanna take God's child out. 1285 01:20:07,432 --> 01:20:09,332 Here goes all these rumors. 1286 01:20:09,434 --> 01:20:11,629 Here goes all these rumors writin' about me. 1287 01:20:11,737 --> 01:20:14,900 I see on the paper. one of'em says... 1288 01:20:15,007 --> 01:20:19,444 "Martin tries to jump out of a plane... 1289 01:20:19,545 --> 01:20:22,036 using his jacket as a parachute." 1290 01:20:25,651 --> 01:20:28,984 As I'm trying to get my life together. they're gonna write that bullshit. 1291 01:20:29,087 --> 01:20:31,988 I know damn well you can't jump out no plane... 1292 01:20:32,090 --> 01:20:34,490 using your jacket as a parachute. 1293 01:20:34,593 --> 01:20:37,585 Shit. I know you got to use your pants. 1294 01:20:37,696 --> 01:20:39,823 They don't think I know this shit. 1295 01:20:39,932 --> 01:20:41,832 So I said. "Fuck that." 1296 01:20:41,934 --> 01:20:43,335 Then I was trying to get my dating scene on. Find a lady in my life. 1297 01:20:43,335 --> 01:20:46,304 Then I was trying to get my dating scene on. Find a lady in my life. 1298 01:20:46,405 --> 01:20:49,033 'Cause I wasn't married no more. so I'm running around. You know... 1299 01:20:49,141 --> 01:20:53,043 "What's up. Miss lady? How you doin'?" And they was believing that shit. 1300 01:20:53,145 --> 01:20:56,342 I'd say. "Hello." They'd say. "Ah. You crazy. Ain't you?" 1301 01:20:56,448 --> 01:20:58,575 Girl. Don't fuck with him. He crazy. 1302 01:20:58,684 --> 01:21:01,710 That motherfucker probably got a Glock on him. Don't fuck with him." 1303 01:21:02,487 --> 01:21:06,150 I couldn't believe it. So then I said. "Fuck the rumors. 1304 01:21:06,258 --> 01:21:09,386 Fuck what they say. Fuck what they write. 'cause I'm gonna be all right." 1305 01:21:09,494 --> 01:21:11,894 And that's what I did. I went running. 1306 01:21:13,298 --> 01:21:15,198 I went jogging. 1307 01:21:15,300 --> 01:21:16,699 I went running. 1308 01:21:16,802 --> 01:21:19,100 I was trying to get my mind together. 1309 01:21:19,204 --> 01:21:22,435 I'm out there. I'm running. and I'm jogging... 1310 01:21:22,541 --> 01:21:25,635 and I'm thinking. "Somewhere there's got to be a love for me." 1311 01:21:26,745 --> 01:21:29,646 I'm doing my jogging. listening to the headphones... 1312 01:21:29,748 --> 01:21:31,648 but I happen to go jogging... 1313 01:21:31,750 --> 01:21:33,650 on the fuckin' hottest day... 1314 01:21:33,752 --> 01:21:35,913 of the fuckin' summer! 1315 01:21:37,823 --> 01:21:39,586 And a nigger pass out! 1316 01:21:40,692 --> 01:21:42,091 Damn! 1317 01:21:42,194 --> 01:21:44,924 I passed the fuck out. 1318 01:21:45,030 --> 01:21:47,328 Lyin' in shit on the lawn. 1319 01:21:48,433 --> 01:21:52,529 Can't believe that. As if I didn't have enough shit going on in my life. 1320 01:21:52,638 --> 01:21:57,541 Now I'm back on the motherfucking scene passed out by shit on a lawn. 1321 01:22:00,545 --> 01:22:03,537 Neighbors walking by. seeing me laying there. 1322 01:22:03,649 --> 01:22:05,810 My white neighbors didn't wanna bother me. 1323 01:22:05,918 --> 01:22:08,785 "Isn't that Martin laying on his lawn? 1324 01:22:08,887 --> 01:22:11,082 Why doesn't he go in the house?" 1325 01:22:11,189 --> 01:22:14,522 "I don't know. But that's that nigger's house. Let him lay there." 1326 01:22:15,928 --> 01:22:19,364 But my lady found me. She called the ambulance. 1327 01:22:19,464 --> 01:22:23,059 And I'm forever grateful to her. My family. All of them. 1328 01:22:23,168 --> 01:22:27,195 They was instrumental in being a part of saving my life. 1329 01:22:27,306 --> 01:22:29,604 But they didn't think I was here. Y'all... 1330 01:22:29,708 --> 01:22:33,508 'cause I was laying on the ground. and that sun was frying my head... 1331 01:22:33,612 --> 01:22:36,775 in a skull cap. in a fuckin' wool-ass hat. 1332 01:22:38,450 --> 01:22:40,350 It was fryin' my shit. 1333 01:22:41,553 --> 01:22:45,250 So they think. "Oh. Man!" They checked my pulse. They couldn't find no pulse. 1334 01:22:45,357 --> 01:22:47,621 My temperature was 10 7. 1335 01:22:47,726 --> 01:22:51,127 So the ambulance drivers leaned over. couldn't feel the pulse. 1336 01:22:51,229 --> 01:22:53,697 They said. "Fuck it. This nigger gone. 1337 01:22:53,799 --> 01:22:56,290 You wanna stop at the liquor store?" 1338 01:22:56,401 --> 01:22:59,165 "Yeah. Pick up some Courvoisier. Fuck that." 1339 01:22:59,271 --> 01:23:01,739 But they get me to the hospital on time. 1340 01:23:01,840 --> 01:23:05,970 I'm thankful to all of them... the doctors and nurses. The ambulance. 1341 01:23:06,078 --> 01:23:08,979 But one thing they gonna do... I'm 10 7. They needed to put me on ice. 1342 01:23:09,081 --> 01:23:13,518 They put me on nothing but ice. They put ice all over my body. 1343 01:23:13,618 --> 01:23:15,176 Butt naked. 1344 01:23:15,287 --> 01:23:17,118 Damn it! 1345 01:23:17,222 --> 01:23:19,213 Now. I don't mind that. 1346 01:23:19,324 --> 01:23:21,224 I'm hot? Cool me off. 1347 01:23:21,326 --> 01:23:25,228 But I was butt-naked. And I didn't have the weight in my meat I usually have. 1348 01:23:26,465 --> 01:23:28,660 So I'm out there like this on ice. 1349 01:23:29,768 --> 01:23:32,896 And they around me taking pictures and shit... 1350 01:23:33,005 --> 01:23:34,836 laughing at me! 1351 01:23:34,940 --> 01:23:38,239 I'm gonna fight that in court. I'm gonna deal with that. 1352 01:23:38,343 --> 01:23:40,743 'Cause somebody could've put an ice cube under my balls... 1353 01:23:40,846 --> 01:23:42,905 and swolled it up a little or something. 1354 01:23:43,015 --> 01:23:45,916 Come on. Now. I'm a black man. Y'all. 1355 01:23:46,018 --> 01:23:47,918 But they didn't do that. 1356 01:23:49,921 --> 01:23:51,684 My family was there. 1357 01:23:51,790 --> 01:23:55,487 The doctors tried to tell them to go home. They said. You know... 1358 01:23:55,594 --> 01:23:58,722 And I love them and thank them so much for never giving up on me... 1359 01:23:58,830 --> 01:24:02,823 because. Had they gone home. I probably wouldn't even be here. You know. 1360 01:24:02,934 --> 01:24:04,231 My brother... 1361 01:24:04,336 --> 01:24:07,737 Yeah. Thank you. I applaud 'em. All of'em. 1362 01:24:07,839 --> 01:24:09,739 My whole family. I love 'em. 1363 01:24:13,178 --> 01:24:15,305 Yeah. It was rough. 1364 01:24:15,414 --> 01:24:19,544 My brother scared the doctor. 'cause he didn't wanna hear that. He's military. 1365 01:24:19,651 --> 01:24:22,347 "What the fuck you talking about? What? 1366 01:24:22,454 --> 01:24:24,979 Nigger. I'm gonna walk down the street. 1367 01:24:25,090 --> 01:24:28,548 When I get back. Keep talking that shit you talking. Doc. 1368 01:24:29,461 --> 01:24:32,487 Better pull out a stethoscope. motherfucker. Or something." 1369 01:24:32,597 --> 01:24:36,897 That's when they started working on me. Them doctors did all they could. 1370 01:24:37,002 --> 01:24:38,401 And I thank them for that. 1371 01:24:38,503 --> 01:24:42,064 But as much as I thanked them. I gave God the glory... 1372 01:24:42,174 --> 01:24:43,971 for bringing me back. 1373 01:24:45,710 --> 01:24:48,474 I give him the glory. No question. 1374 01:24:48,580 --> 01:24:50,571 I thank him. You know... 1375 01:24:50,682 --> 01:24:54,277 for putting his children out there around me to help me. 1376 01:24:54,386 --> 01:24:57,014 So I woke up three days later. 1377 01:24:57,122 --> 01:25:00,523 Being out for three days was some of the best sleep I ever got. 1378 01:25:00,625 --> 01:25:04,288 I woke up. Everybody was happy to see me..."We love you! We love you!" 1379 01:25:04,396 --> 01:25:07,331 "Ain't nothin' wrong with my hearing." 1380 01:25:07,432 --> 01:25:10,663 I had a tube in my mouth. I had a catheter in my dick. 1381 01:25:11,770 --> 01:25:13,670 I thought my dick had grew. 1382 01:25:15,107 --> 01:25:17,507 Shit. It was a damn catheter. 1383 01:25:17,609 --> 01:25:19,600 I didn't know how they got that catheter in there. 1384 01:25:19,711 --> 01:25:22,612 They couldn't have got that shit in there if I was woke. I'll tell you that. 1385 01:25:23,715 --> 01:25:26,275 So I had to learn to talk again. 1386 01:25:26,384 --> 01:25:28,511 I had to learn to walk again. 1387 01:25:28,620 --> 01:25:32,351 I had to learn to do all these things we generally take for granted. 1388 01:25:32,457 --> 01:25:35,358 It come not so easy. I had to learn to do that shit again. 1389 01:25:35,460 --> 01:25:37,951 My show was running on the air. I got movies out... 1390 01:25:38,063 --> 01:25:41,089 but I can't go to premieres and shit because I can't walk. 1391 01:25:41,199 --> 01:25:43,292 Can't do all this shit. 1392 01:25:43,401 --> 01:25:47,861 So I said. "Fuck it. I gotta work hard to get better." 1393 01:25:47,973 --> 01:25:50,100 So they put me in a room and gave me a bell. 1394 01:25:50,208 --> 01:25:54,872 They said. "If you need help. Hit this bell and we'll come in and help you. 1395 01:25:54,980 --> 01:25:57,210 The nurse will come help you." 1396 01:25:57,315 --> 01:26:00,148 This catheter was attached to a tank that had... 1397 01:26:00,252 --> 01:26:02,152 It's where your piss goes. 1398 01:26:03,255 --> 01:26:06,156 One day I tried to get up and forgot I couldn't walk... 1399 01:26:06,258 --> 01:26:08,385 and the whole piss tank fell. 1400 01:26:08,493 --> 01:26:09,551 I ring the bell. 1401 01:26:12,797 --> 01:26:14,856 "I dropped my piss!" 1402 01:26:18,637 --> 01:26:21,800 So the nurse came in. and the nurse was fine. 1403 01:26:21,907 --> 01:26:24,740 She was so fine. you'd go. "Goddamn!" 1404 01:26:25,844 --> 01:26:27,311 She cleaned up the piss. 1405 01:26:27,412 --> 01:26:30,313 This fine. Professional woman started cleaning up the piss. 1406 01:26:30,415 --> 01:26:34,215 She talked to me and said. "Don't be embarrassed. This is gonna happen. 1407 01:26:34,319 --> 01:26:39,018 But if you think you have to go to the bathroom or want to try to get up... 1408 01:26:39,124 --> 01:26:41,024 ring your bell and I'll help you. 1409 01:26:41,126 --> 01:26:43,492 But don't try to get up. all right?" 1410 01:26:43,595 --> 01:26:45,222 I said. "Thank you." 1411 01:26:45,330 --> 01:26:47,230 But I forgot. 1412 01:26:47,332 --> 01:26:48,890 Tried it. Piss everywhere. 1413 01:26:49,701 --> 01:26:51,692 "I dropped my piss." 1414 01:26:53,138 --> 01:26:56,266 "Mr. Lawrence. Don't try to get up. Just ring your bell. 1415 01:26:56,374 --> 01:26:58,365 That's what I'm here for." 1416 01:26:58,476 --> 01:27:02,674 Then one day I was looking at something on TV. And I laughed. 1417 01:27:03,782 --> 01:27:06,751 And I shitted on myself. 1418 01:27:07,719 --> 01:27:09,516 It was that borderline... 1419 01:27:09,621 --> 01:27:12,181 It was just really all soft shit... 1420 01:27:12,290 --> 01:27:15,259 because I only had liquids in me. 1421 01:27:15,360 --> 01:27:18,329 It just smeared all around my fuckin' thigh... 1422 01:27:18,430 --> 01:27:21,524 and it was stinkin' like a motherfucker. 1423 01:27:23,735 --> 01:27:28,172 I was gonna ring the bell. And I said. "I can't call that fine motherfucker. 1424 01:27:28,273 --> 01:27:32,107 I can't tell that fine motherfucker that I done shitted on myself. 1425 01:27:33,278 --> 01:27:36,304 I can't tell her. I know she got a fine friend... 1426 01:27:36,414 --> 01:27:37,813 that know a fine friend. 1427 01:27:37,916 --> 01:27:40,817 All the fine ones gonna know I shitted." 1428 01:27:42,954 --> 01:27:45,855 I couldn't do it. I'm holding my nose. I couldn't take it no more. 1429 01:27:45,957 --> 01:27:48,357 It was cuttin' through my passages. 1430 01:27:55,700 --> 01:27:58,260 "I shitted on myself." 1431 01:27:59,604 --> 01:28:01,834 And this fine woman... 1432 01:28:01,940 --> 01:28:03,430 came in... 1433 01:28:04,542 --> 01:28:07,170 and cleaned up the shit. 1434 01:28:07,279 --> 01:28:09,179 She was so patient with me. 1435 01:28:09,281 --> 01:28:13,718 "Mr. Lawrence. I know you're a little embarrassed. But these things happen. 1436 01:28:13,818 --> 01:28:18,050 Now. I told you. Your bowels... your muscles are not strong. 1437 01:28:18,156 --> 01:28:20,056 So don't worry about it. 1438 01:28:20,158 --> 01:28:23,321 There's no need to be embarrassed. These things happen. 1439 01:28:23,428 --> 01:28:25,828 This is the hospital. Don't worry about it." 1440 01:28:25,930 --> 01:28:28,455 And then she started cleaning me. 1441 01:28:30,068 --> 01:28:32,502 And she cleaned. And she wiped. 1442 01:28:33,605 --> 01:28:36,005 I looked at her. 1443 01:28:36,107 --> 01:28:39,008 This woman was cleaning doo-doo... 1444 01:28:40,645 --> 01:28:42,203 off me. 1445 01:28:43,882 --> 01:28:45,281 And I said... 1446 01:28:47,719 --> 01:28:50,119 I started falling in love. 1447 01:29:06,271 --> 01:29:07,966 Now. Man... 1448 01:29:08,073 --> 01:29:12,100 that was a beautiful thing for them to do... for her to do. 1449 01:29:12,210 --> 01:29:16,510 After that. I shitted maybe seven more times. I would say. 1450 01:29:16,614 --> 01:29:19,845 Went from hard shit to doodle balls. all kinds of shit. 1451 01:29:19,951 --> 01:29:21,942 Shit with corn in it. 1452 01:29:22,053 --> 01:29:23,543 And she cleaned it up. 1453 01:29:23,655 --> 01:29:26,783 About the tenth doo-doo. she was madder than a motherfucker. 1454 01:29:26,891 --> 01:29:29,359 All that professional went out the window. 1455 01:29:29,461 --> 01:29:31,361 "All right. Mr. Lawrence! 1456 01:29:31,463 --> 01:29:33,954 Now. This shit don't make no sense! 1457 01:29:34,065 --> 01:29:36,329 You too grown for this shit! 1458 01:29:36,434 --> 01:29:40,336 You been in this hospital all this time. And you ain't worked your fuckin' muscles yet? 1459 01:29:40,438 --> 01:29:43,271 Shittin' all over the place. That's just not cute. 1460 01:29:43,375 --> 01:29:47,277 And you gonna act like you wanna get with me. I don't want no shitty man. 1461 01:29:48,847 --> 01:29:52,374 Talkin' about 'Martin! Martin! ' Should be Shitty Martin." 1462 01:29:55,086 --> 01:29:58,317 Scared me so bad. I just stopped shittin' for a while. 1463 01:29:59,524 --> 01:30:00,752 Didn't do nothin'. 1464 01:30:00,859 --> 01:30:04,386 I think she quit after that. They said she was gone. Couldn't find her nowhere. 1465 01:30:04,496 --> 01:30:07,897 Said she couldn't take the shit off Martin no more. She was tired of it. 1466 01:30:09,000 --> 01:30:11,992 I think I shitted one more time. and I just sat in that. 1467 01:30:12,103 --> 01:30:14,003 "I will not tell nobody." 1468 01:30:14,105 --> 01:30:16,505 And the whole room was funky. 1469 01:30:16,608 --> 01:30:20,908 It was so stinky. "Fuck it. My pride won't let me tell nobody. 1470 01:30:21,012 --> 01:30:23,344 'Cause I don't want them to get angry with me no more." 1471 01:30:23,448 --> 01:30:27,145 I tied a pillowcase around my head and around my nose... 1472 01:30:27,252 --> 01:30:28,742 and cut out the eyes. 1473 01:30:28,853 --> 01:30:32,254 I was in there looking like a shitty superhero. 1474 01:30:41,466 --> 01:30:45,266 And then they motherfuckin' came in the room and shit. 1475 01:30:45,370 --> 01:30:48,271 You know. They could smell. 'cause it was messing up the hospital. 1476 01:30:48,373 --> 01:30:50,466 They thought they was gonna have to quarantine the hospital. 1477 01:30:50,575 --> 01:30:53,908 They found it was me sittin' in shit. and I started blaming people. 1478 01:30:54,012 --> 01:30:55,411 I was in denial. 1479 01:30:56,848 --> 01:30:59,715 "There's a serial shitter going around. 1480 01:30:59,818 --> 01:31:02,446 He broke in and put the drawers on me. 1481 01:31:02,554 --> 01:31:04,647 He went that-a-way." 1482 01:31:07,492 --> 01:31:09,483 But one thing I can say... 1483 01:31:09,594 --> 01:31:12,495 honestly. Truly from the heart that I learned... 1484 01:31:12,597 --> 01:31:15,862 from. You know. Ventura... 1485 01:31:15,967 --> 01:31:20,063 the gun. Assault. Whatever... fights and coma and all that. 1486 01:31:20,171 --> 01:31:22,366 One thing I truly learned... 1487 01:31:22,474 --> 01:31:25,068 is that we fall down... 1488 01:31:25,176 --> 01:31:26,803 but we get up. 1489 01:31:27,979 --> 01:31:29,241 Thank you. 1490 01:31:33,985 --> 01:31:36,385 Will all the people who like sex... 1491 01:31:38,957 --> 01:31:41,357 All the people who like safe sex. 1492 01:31:43,294 --> 01:31:46,058 Sex is good. I love sex. 1493 01:31:46,164 --> 01:31:48,689 That's a good thing. Isn't it? I love sex. 1494 01:31:49,834 --> 01:31:51,734 I love everything about it. 1495 01:31:51,836 --> 01:31:53,736 Just not all the crazy stuff. 1496 01:31:53,838 --> 01:31:56,238 Ladies. I love that oral sex. 1497 01:31:57,342 --> 01:32:00,243 I love when you do me. I really do. I really do. 1498 01:32:01,913 --> 01:32:03,972 You gotta soak. You know. 1499 01:32:04,082 --> 01:32:06,983 If I'm gonna do that. you gotta clean it well. 1500 01:32:07,085 --> 01:32:10,418 Because. Guys. If you ever caught a bad one. That shit will scar you... 1501 01:32:10,522 --> 01:32:13,013 for the rest of your fucking life. 1502 01:32:13,124 --> 01:32:15,524 You ever go down and it smell like... 1503 01:32:17,595 --> 01:32:19,529 you will be fucked up. 1504 01:32:21,466 --> 01:32:24,026 Shit smell like. "Oh. No." 1505 01:32:24,135 --> 01:32:27,366 So if you clean it right. we don't have to go through that. 1506 01:32:27,472 --> 01:32:31,067 'Cause. Ladies. You don't like a man with a stinky dick. Am I correct? 1507 01:32:31,175 --> 01:32:33,837 You would let a man know in a minute. 1508 01:32:33,945 --> 01:32:36,243 "Your balls stink. 1509 01:32:36,347 --> 01:32:38,907 Your balls stink!" 1510 01:32:39,017 --> 01:32:42,316 I got a woman right now suing me. 1511 01:32:42,420 --> 01:32:44,388 No. Not 'cause of stinky dick. 1512 01:32:45,490 --> 01:32:48,755 She gonna say I gave her high blood pressure... 1513 01:32:48,860 --> 01:32:51,260 'cause I had salt on my balls. 1514 01:33:01,539 --> 01:33:04,940 I said. "I thought you liked your meat seasoned. Baby. What's the problem?" 1515 01:33:06,210 --> 01:33:08,770 But sex is good. Sex is good. 1516 01:33:08,880 --> 01:33:11,007 Do it when you get the chance to do it. Have fun. 1517 01:33:11,115 --> 01:33:13,276 Make love. Let it blossom. but do it right. 1518 01:33:13,384 --> 01:33:17,252 That weird sex shit? Who is out here doing that weird sex shit? 1519 01:33:17,355 --> 01:33:18,982 Who's doing that? 1520 01:33:19,090 --> 01:33:21,183 Stop that shit. You know who you are. 1521 01:33:21,292 --> 01:33:22,691 Pissing on people? 1522 01:33:23,995 --> 01:33:26,395 That is not lovemaking. Stop getting that... 1523 01:33:27,999 --> 01:33:29,432 "You like that? 1524 01:33:29,534 --> 01:33:32,992 Let me drink two more cups of water. and I got a little more for you." 1525 01:33:34,772 --> 01:33:36,467 Cut it out! 1526 01:33:36,574 --> 01:33:38,769 Cut out doing that weird sex shit. 1527 01:33:38,876 --> 01:33:42,073 And whoever is doing that S&M. Stop it. 1528 01:33:42,180 --> 01:33:45,775 Listen. If you wanna do a little something. You just gotta be gentle. 1529 01:33:45,883 --> 01:33:48,317 Is it called S&M... S&M? 1530 01:33:48,419 --> 01:33:50,512 I don't do it. so I don't know. 1531 01:33:50,622 --> 01:33:53,614 Listen. Ain't nothin' wrong with a little pop on the ass. 1532 01:33:53,725 --> 01:33:56,785 I'm a pop-on-the-ass man. I know how to do it though. 1533 01:33:56,894 --> 01:33:59,124 I been trained for that and everything. 1534 01:34:00,365 --> 01:34:02,356 They show you how you're supposed to do that. 1535 01:34:02,467 --> 01:34:05,265 One leg here. the other leg here. 1536 01:34:05,370 --> 01:34:08,737 When you pop. you come up off it like that. 1537 01:34:09,507 --> 01:34:12,067 See? That means you're not actually trying to hurt 'em. 1538 01:34:12,176 --> 01:34:15,509 You're just trying to make them feel that sting. 1539 01:34:15,613 --> 01:34:18,514 But when you pop and plow 'em into the fucking wall... 1540 01:34:19,884 --> 01:34:21,784 then it's starting to get brutal. 1541 01:34:21,886 --> 01:34:23,820 You don't want that. That's brutal sex. 1542 01:34:23,921 --> 01:34:26,412 You don't wanna pull your dick out... 1543 01:34:26,524 --> 01:34:30,085 and then drop your foot on the back of their neck. 1544 01:34:30,194 --> 01:34:33,925 You don't wanna take hot curlers and burn their stomach. 1545 01:34:34,032 --> 01:34:36,262 Talkin' about. "You love me? You love me?" 1546 01:34:36,367 --> 01:34:39,268 That's just not what you wanna do. 1547 01:34:41,439 --> 01:34:45,637 I seen some white boy tell his lady. "Kick me in my balls real hard. 1548 01:34:45,743 --> 01:34:47,540 Right now." 1549 01:34:49,113 --> 01:34:51,513 "Fuck. Yeah! Yeah!" 1550 01:34:53,618 --> 01:34:57,816 I seen a lady have her nipples clamped to the door... 1551 01:34:57,922 --> 01:35:00,117 and have somebody slam the door. 1552 01:35:00,224 --> 01:35:02,852 "Oh. Yeah! Yeah! 1553 01:35:07,799 --> 01:35:10,131 Now take 'em off the hinges and throw the doors. 1554 01:35:10,234 --> 01:35:12,395 Yeah! Yeah!" 1555 01:35:13,504 --> 01:35:15,096 So please... 1556 01:35:15,206 --> 01:35:16,571 be gentle with that. 1557 01:35:17,709 --> 01:35:21,236 And who is puttin' gerbils in their ass? 1558 01:35:21,345 --> 01:35:23,176 Stop it! 1559 01:35:23,281 --> 01:35:25,772 Them gerbils ain't done nothin' to nobody. 1560 01:35:25,883 --> 01:35:28,909 Them little rodents ride that wheel. you snatch 'em. Put 'em in your ass. 1561 01:35:29,020 --> 01:35:31,921 Stop that. I hope they scratch your ass out. 1562 01:35:33,091 --> 01:35:36,117 Hope you wind up in a hospital sounding like a Chinese movie. 1563 01:35:36,227 --> 01:35:38,127 "Doctor! Doctor! 1564 01:35:38,229 --> 01:35:40,288 The rodent's up in my ass!" 1565 01:35:40,398 --> 01:35:43,299 Scratch his ass out. Little rodent. Scratch his ass out. 1566 01:35:44,669 --> 01:35:48,400 You know the doctor gonna tell you. "I can get him out. 1567 01:35:48,506 --> 01:35:51,339 But first you're gonna have to fill out some paperwork." 1568 01:35:51,442 --> 01:35:54,434 "Hurry up. Doctor! Hurry up. Doctor!" 1569 01:35:56,681 --> 01:35:58,649 So please... 1570 01:35:58,750 --> 01:36:01,480 be cautious with your sex. be gentle with your sex. 1571 01:36:01,586 --> 01:36:04,248 Be gentle with your lovemaking. Love one another. 1572 01:36:04,355 --> 01:36:05,413 Another thing. Fellas. 1573 01:36:05,523 --> 01:36:07,548 Have you ever... 1574 01:36:07,658 --> 01:36:09,922 been doing it so good... 1575 01:36:10,027 --> 01:36:12,188 so wonderful... 1576 01:36:12,296 --> 01:36:14,093 The mood is right. 1577 01:36:14,198 --> 01:36:15,597 The lights are dim. 1578 01:36:16,701 --> 01:36:19,067 It's probably dark... 1579 01:36:19,170 --> 01:36:23,334 but not quite dark. 'cause your bodies. They silhouette. 1580 01:36:23,441 --> 01:36:25,636 You can see each other. 1581 01:36:25,743 --> 01:36:30,146 The music is going. It seems to be going with your emotion and your flow. 1582 01:36:30,248 --> 01:36:32,546 Everything's working that night. 1583 01:36:32,650 --> 01:36:34,049 "Ooh. Girl. 1584 01:36:35,720 --> 01:36:38,120 Why you do this to me. Girl? 1585 01:36:39,223 --> 01:36:41,123 Oh. That is so nice. 1586 01:36:41,225 --> 01:36:44,217 It's so moist. So wet. 1587 01:36:45,096 --> 01:36:47,963 Wow. It's so hot." 1588 01:36:48,065 --> 01:36:50,727 And you're going. "My goodness. Girl. 1589 01:36:50,835 --> 01:36:52,962 You just so wet. 1590 01:36:53,070 --> 01:36:55,470 What. You gettin' extra wet for me tonight? 1591 01:36:55,573 --> 01:36:58,235 Extra. Extra. Extra?" 1592 01:36:58,342 --> 01:37:02,369 All over you. You can feel it all over your thighs. Everywhere. 1593 01:37:05,817 --> 01:37:07,717 Then you get up and you cut on the lights. 1594 01:37:07,819 --> 01:37:09,787 Blood every-fucking-where. 1595 01:37:16,427 --> 01:37:18,486 It looks like a fucking massacre. 1596 01:37:24,936 --> 01:37:29,532 You look at your dick like it's a knife. "Why? Why?" 1597 01:37:31,342 --> 01:37:34,971 You look at the bed. It looks like a crime scene. 1598 01:37:37,315 --> 01:37:39,909 "Why? Why. Why. Why?" 1599 01:37:41,686 --> 01:37:44,052 You look at her. 1600 01:37:44,155 --> 01:37:46,885 "Why didn't you tell me?" 1601 01:37:46,991 --> 01:37:48,390 Ladies got the perfect answer. 1602 01:37:48,492 --> 01:37:50,790 "You must have brought it down!" 1603 01:37:51,729 --> 01:37:52,957 God bless. 1604 01:37:53,064 --> 01:37:55,589 Ride this motherfucker till the wheels fall off. 1605 01:37:55,613 --> 01:38:25,613