1
00:00:38,870 --> 00:00:41,272
<i>The I-10 Santa Monica
Freeway westbound is jammed</i>

2
00:00:41,273 --> 00:00:43,408
<i>due to a 3-car accident
blocking lanes 1 and 2</i>

3
00:00:43,409 --> 00:00:44,977
<i>just past Hoover Street.</i>

4
00:00:45,078 --> 00:00:49,714
<i>In Van Nuys there's stop and go
traffic on the 405 southbound...</i>

5
00:00:49,715 --> 00:00:52,703
Hey, loser. Get up.
you're late.

6
00:00:54,085 --> 00:00:55,452
We need money.

7
00:00:55,453 --> 00:00:56,720
For what?

8
00:00:56,721 --> 00:00:57,723
Food.

9
00:01:06,231 --> 00:01:08,899
I've only got 2 dollars.
How much a Happy Meal?

10
00:01:12,670 --> 00:01:13,606
Good morning, Thea.

11
00:01:13,607 --> 00:01:14,615
Oh, hi.

12
00:01:14,706 --> 00:01:17,107
There's a little thing called the rent.
Ring any bells?

13
00:01:17,208 --> 00:01:19,375
Monday. I'll give it to you Monday.
You have my word.

14
00:01:19,676 --> 00:01:22,477
Could you put your word on
an actual check sometime?

15
00:02:28,543 --> 00:02:30,612
<i>Look at that foxy momma.</i>

16
00:02:31,213 --> 00:02:32,215
Hey.

17
00:02:33,046 --> 00:02:36,750
Hey, look. I...
I saved you one of these.

18
00:02:36,751 --> 00:02:38,952
It wasn't easy.
These people are animals.

19
00:02:38,953 --> 00:02:41,221
Thanks. It's all downhill
after the donut.

20
00:02:41,222 --> 00:02:43,421
Hey. Let's go camping right now.

21
00:02:43,422 --> 00:02:45,393
Oh, don't tempt me.
You know I can't.

22
00:02:45,394 --> 00:02:49,462
Come on. Don't be such a buzz kill.
Just call in sick from work.

23
00:02:49,463 --> 00:02:52,264
Miles. It was hard enough
getting Monday off.

24
00:02:52,265 --> 00:02:55,036
Hey. You really need to
bail on this lame job, babe.

25
00:02:55,037 --> 00:02:59,562
Bailing isn't exactly in my vocabulary
right now. I gotta go. I'm late. I'm late.

26
00:03:04,913 --> 00:03:07,409
Alarm clock on the fritz again?

27
00:03:09,316 --> 00:03:10,325
<i>Thea.</i>

28
00:03:11,216 --> 00:03:12,825
<i>Thea!</i>

29
00:03:16,658 --> 00:03:18,557
4 minutes after 9, Thea.

30
00:03:18,558 --> 00:03:20,493
We agreed to 8:59.

31
00:03:20,494 --> 00:03:23,127
I know. I'm sorry.
I've got your coffee piping hot.

32
00:03:23,128 --> 00:03:25,631
Greg already got it for me.

33
00:03:25,632 --> 00:03:27,499
All right. Let's get started.

34
00:03:27,500 --> 00:03:30,335
I found 2 errors in your transcription.

35
00:03:30,336 --> 00:03:34,171
Ur-Nammu, the Mesopotamian ruler,
has a hyphen in his name.

36
00:03:34,172 --> 00:03:37,175
Are you sure? I checked it
in Oxford English Dictionary.

37
00:03:37,176 --> 00:03:40,611
You should always cross reference
with the Military Encyclopedia.

38
00:03:40,612 --> 00:03:42,180
It is the definitive source.

39
00:03:42,181 --> 00:03:43,747
Absolutely right, Greg. Thea,

40
00:03:43,748 --> 00:03:46,618
the intern shouldn't be
more thorough than you.

41
00:03:46,619 --> 00:03:50,787
You have to remember that every
mistake you make, impacts history.

42
00:03:50,788 --> 00:03:52,788
I'm sorry I didn't give
enough thought...

43
00:03:52,789 --> 00:03:55,327
to the long reaching
impact of a missing hyphen.

44
00:03:55,328 --> 00:03:57,661
Think of it next time,
or someone else will.

45
00:03:57,662 --> 00:04:01,198
There are a million people out
there who'd kill for your job.

46
00:04:01,199 --> 00:04:04,800
The secretary to the publisher,
It's a dream for so many of us.

47
00:04:04,801 --> 00:04:07,339
I have a big
project for you.

48
00:04:07,340 --> 00:04:11,108
Now, you can make up for this
morning's mistakes by acing this one.

49
00:04:11,109 --> 00:04:12,941
Okay. What can I do for you?

50
00:04:12,942 --> 00:04:16,579
MacArthur rolled in some poop.

51
00:04:16,580 --> 00:04:17,946
Again?

52
00:04:17,947 --> 00:04:19,615
She's got one good eye, Thea.

53
00:04:19,616 --> 00:04:23,913
I don't appreciate you
taking that tone. Now.

54
00:04:25,287 --> 00:04:27,090
Hi, there.

55
00:04:27,091 --> 00:04:31,126
Let's really try and nail
it this time, shall we?

56
00:04:39,469 --> 00:04:41,303
No way.
She rolled in poop again?

57
00:04:42,604 --> 00:04:44,337
How come Greg never washes her?

58
00:04:44,338 --> 00:04:46,943
I'm glad that I don't have
to wash the poop off Greg...

59
00:04:46,944 --> 00:04:50,045
since he spends most of his time
with his head up Jerry's ass.

60
00:04:50,046 --> 00:04:53,080
Tell me about It. Last week he
cc'd me on an email to Jerry...

61
00:04:53,081 --> 00:04:56,017
complaining that I ordered
too many rainbow Post-its.

62
00:04:56,018 --> 00:04:57,887
Said it creates a party atmosphere.

63
00:04:57,888 --> 00:05:00,054
Come here, MacArthur.

64
00:05:00,055 --> 00:05:02,790
MacArthur.

65
00:05:02,791 --> 00:05:05,190
Do you think we'll ever
get out of here?

66
00:05:05,191 --> 00:05:08,529
How long 'till your little
sister graduates college?

67
00:05:08,530 --> 00:05:10,598
5 years. 5 long years.

68
00:05:12,701 --> 00:05:15,568
When you finally ditch this
place I'm gonna leave, too.

69
00:05:15,569 --> 00:05:17,806
I can't survive this
hellhole without you.

70
00:05:17,807 --> 00:05:20,907
I don't even know if I'm gonna
survive Monday without you.

71
00:05:20,908 --> 00:05:23,277
Well, your rainbow
Post-its should help.

72
00:05:24,178 --> 00:05:25,979
Okay, just promise me...

73
00:05:25,980 --> 00:05:29,074
that when you're celebrating
with Miles the big 2-5,

74
00:05:29,075 --> 00:05:30,416
you'll have 2 extra shots for me.

75
00:05:30,417 --> 00:05:33,085
Done. 2 for you, 2 for me...

76
00:05:33,086 --> 00:05:34,652
and 2 for MacArthur.

77
00:05:34,653 --> 00:05:36,890
And cold beer chasers
and a sliced lime.

78
00:05:37,291 --> 00:05:38,825
Gets me right here.

79
00:05:42,529 --> 00:05:44,095
What is MacArthur eating?

80
00:05:44,396 --> 00:05:46,966
That's not good.
Hold on.

81
00:05:46,967 --> 00:05:49,127
No, no, that's soap

82
00:05:53,007 --> 00:05:55,338
Well, Thea,
you are a sopping mess.

83
00:05:55,339 --> 00:05:56,742
I know, I'm sorry.

84
00:05:56,743 --> 00:05:58,010
Well, don't apologize.

85
00:05:58,011 --> 00:05:59,744
This one has 2 staples.

86
00:05:59,745 --> 00:06:00,846
Yeah. And?

87
00:06:00,847 --> 00:06:02,247
It's bad Feng Shui.

88
00:06:02,248 --> 00:06:03,816
Might be nice to give the agenda

89
00:06:03,817 --> 00:06:05,949
to the guy with the disability first.

90
00:06:05,950 --> 00:06:07,953
Well, when I gave you
your first last month,

91
00:06:07,954 --> 00:06:09,855
you reprimanded me for
giving you special treatment.

92
00:06:09,856 --> 00:06:12,524
Well, I certainly don't like
you're giving me special back talk.

93
00:06:12,525 --> 00:06:15,826
Good morning, everyone.
Ready for Abbott?

94
00:06:16,963 --> 00:06:18,397
Sorry.

95
00:06:18,398 --> 00:06:20,263
Let's have another round.

96
00:06:20,264 --> 00:06:23,600
Hey, Johnny, my good man.
How's the book coming?

97
00:06:23,601 --> 00:06:24,733
<i>Jerry...</i>

98
00:06:24,734 --> 00:06:26,970
War. What is it good for?

99
00:06:26,971 --> 00:06:30,942
Apparently lots of things, Jerry.

100
00:06:32,643 --> 00:06:35,578
If you could just tell us
what chapter you're up to.

101
00:06:35,579 --> 00:06:36,779
Sweet.

102
00:06:36,780 --> 00:06:38,249
<i>Pigs In the blanket</i>

103
00:06:38,250 --> 00:06:40,418
<i>for everybody on me.</i>

104
00:06:40,419 --> 00:06:41,986
Alright, bye-bye.

105
00:06:42,887 --> 00:06:45,053
Hemingway used to write In bars.

106
00:06:45,054 --> 00:06:48,925
We're so pleased you decided to
bless us with your presence, Nicky.

107
00:06:48,926 --> 00:06:51,994
Sorry... bad, bad traffic.

108
00:06:52,395 --> 00:06:55,363
Got hung up at the
divorce lawyer's office?

109
00:06:55,364 --> 00:06:58,369
I kind of wanted that
to be private, Jerry.

110
00:06:58,370 --> 00:07:00,969
Well, well, privacy is
for people who are on time.

111
00:07:00,970 --> 00:07:03,038
So how's Abbott's book coming?

112
00:07:03,039 --> 00:07:07,843
Extremely well. There's a
method to his mad genius.

113
00:07:07,844 --> 00:07:11,345
And now we're ready to
go over the cost report.

114
00:07:11,346 --> 00:07:13,414
Whenever you feel like presenting it.

115
00:07:13,415 --> 00:07:15,449
Oh, okay.

116
00:07:15,950 --> 00:07:19,655
Sales for The Complete History
of Bullets are below projections.

117
00:07:20,656 --> 00:07:23,990
Marketing says people have been
intimidated by the 1,400 page length.

118
00:07:24,293 --> 00:07:27,696
There are a lot of bullets in the world.
We're not making it up.

119
00:07:27,897 --> 00:07:30,906
All right. Let's talk about
the next order of business.

120
00:07:31,467 --> 00:07:34,467
I've given this a lot of thoughts.

121
00:07:36,038 --> 00:07:38,273
Next week's softball game.

122
00:07:38,474 --> 00:07:42,043
Now, we're all tired
of losing to Presidio.

123
00:07:42,744 --> 00:07:45,046
So I'm moving Garth
to short stop.

124
00:07:45,047 --> 00:07:46,912
I'm not quite finished, Jerry.

125
00:07:46,913 --> 00:07:50,618
I've already told you. You're staying
in left field. We need you there.

126
00:07:50,619 --> 00:07:52,285
This isn't softball related.

127
00:07:52,286 --> 00:07:54,154
You know our textbook writer,
Suzie Cavendish?

128
00:07:54,355 --> 00:07:55,455
Of course I know her.

129
00:07:55,456 --> 00:07:56,789
I read her new manuscript

130
00:07:56,790 --> 00:07:58,660
and I thought it was really good.

131
00:07:59,061 --> 00:08:01,127
How did you get a manuscript?

132
00:08:01,128 --> 00:08:03,263
I ran into her at lunch.
She told me about her book.

133
00:08:03,264 --> 00:08:05,363
You don't send the accountant
your manuscript.

134
00:08:05,385 --> 00:08:09,636
Thanks for your effort, Nick, but I've
already told Susie it's not for us.

135
00:08:10,037 --> 00:08:11,905
It's not our subject matter.

136
00:08:11,906 --> 00:08:14,306
Baby, what's wrong?

137
00:08:14,307 --> 00:08:15,375
MacArthur?

138
00:08:17,276 --> 00:08:20,882
What's wrong with you?
Come here, baby.

139
00:08:20,883 --> 00:08:23,549
What is wrong?
Talk to daddy.

140
00:08:28,320 --> 00:08:31,189
What did you feed her?

141
00:08:31,190 --> 00:08:32,991
I'm so so sorry about your dog.

142
00:08:32,992 --> 00:08:36,427
I just scheduled a full body
scan for MacArthur on Monday.

143
00:08:36,428 --> 00:08:39,031
I have the day off Monday
but I'll take her Tuesday.

144
00:08:39,032 --> 00:08:40,566
you'll take her Monday.

145
00:08:40,567 --> 00:08:42,633
I asked for this time
off 2 months ago.

146
00:08:42,634 --> 00:08:44,802
It's just one day.
I promised my boyfriend

147
00:08:44,803 --> 00:08:46,805
we'd go camping
for his 25th birthday.

148
00:08:46,806 --> 00:08:48,440
It's his 25th birthday?

149
00:08:48,441 --> 00:08:49,710
Yeah, it is.

150
00:08:49,711 --> 00:08:51,976
God, I had no Idea.

151
00:08:51,977 --> 00:08:54,578
I'm sorry. Why don't you
take the whole week off?

152
00:08:54,579 --> 00:08:55,679
Really?

153
00:08:55,680 --> 00:08:57,113
No!

154
00:08:57,114 --> 00:09:00,085
Okay, no problem.

155
00:09:00,086 --> 00:09:02,219
Come on, things can't be that bad.

156
00:09:02,220 --> 00:09:05,222
Okay. Let's see what I have
to look forward to in life.

157
00:09:05,223 --> 00:09:07,023
Washing my boss's dog.

158
00:09:07,024 --> 00:09:08,924
Blow-drying my boss's job.

159
00:09:10,161 --> 00:09:11,996
Taking my boss's
dog for a CAT scan.

160
00:09:11,997 --> 00:09:13,931
I'm officially a pathetic loser.

161
00:09:13,932 --> 00:09:17,763
Well, at least we still
have Skittles and cigarettes.

162
00:09:19,403 --> 00:09:22,305
<i>Maybe you and Miles
can reschedule the weekend.</i>

163
00:09:22,306 --> 00:09:25,876
<i>Oh, yeah. I'll see If
Miles can reschedule his birthday.</i>

164
00:09:25,877 --> 00:09:27,743
No, maybe Jerry's onto something.

165
00:09:27,744 --> 00:09:31,015
Who needs a significant other
when you're dating your own dog?

166
00:09:31,016 --> 00:09:34,283
Jerry's repulsive.
Have you smelled breath lately?

167
00:09:34,284 --> 00:09:36,486
He's lucky he can get
a dog to date him.

168
00:09:36,487 --> 00:09:40,491
you know, it's one thing if Jerry is an
undersexed jerk who takes no joy in life

169
00:09:40,492 --> 00:09:43,992
But why does he have to make the
rest of us that way? I hate him I

170
00:09:46,294 --> 00:09:49,991
In my office. Now!

171
00:09:50,901 --> 00:09:54,603
You've got some pretty strong
opinions about my personal choices.

172
00:09:54,604 --> 00:09:56,804
You find my relationship
with MacArthur

173
00:09:56,805 --> 00:09:58,271
something to deride?

174
00:09:58,272 --> 00:10:00,710
Not at all. I respect
your devotion to animals.

175
00:10:00,711 --> 00:10:03,012
You're Involvement
with PETA is inspiring.

176
00:10:03,013 --> 00:10:04,212
Don't bullshit me.

177
00:10:04,213 --> 00:10:05,681
I'm sorry. I didn't mean it.

178
00:10:05,682 --> 00:10:07,914
It was childish and
it won't happen again.

179
00:10:07,915 --> 00:10:09,783
If you hate me so much,

180
00:10:09,784 --> 00:10:13,353
I don't really think it's healthy
for you to continue working with me.

181
00:10:13,354 --> 00:10:15,423
But, please. You can't do this.

182
00:10:15,424 --> 00:10:16,924
- Watch me.
- But I need this job.

183
00:10:16,925 --> 00:10:17,624
Here I go.

184
00:10:17,626 --> 00:10:19,426
I'm supporting my little sister.

185
00:10:19,427 --> 00:10:20,529
You're fired.

186
00:10:20,530 --> 00:10:21,630
But I'm...

187
00:10:21,631 --> 00:10:23,163
- You're what?
- I'm...

188
00:10:23,164 --> 00:10:23,960
You're...

189
00:10:23,964 --> 00:10:25,098
I'm pregnant.

190
00:10:25,099 --> 00:10:26,066
Pregnant?

191
00:10:26,067 --> 00:10:28,702
Yes, pregnant. Totally pregnant.

192
00:10:28,703 --> 00:10:32,106
And the doctor says the chemicals
or hormones or whatever...

193
00:10:32,107 --> 00:10:36,276
are messing up my system and you can't
take anything I say too seriously.

194
00:10:36,277 --> 00:10:40,007
Except for when I say I'm pregnant
because, you know, I am.

195
00:10:47,154 --> 00:10:49,279
Oh, God.

196
00:10:58,430 --> 00:10:59,563
When are you due?

197
00:10:59,564 --> 00:11:01,500
October. I mean, October.

198
00:11:01,501 --> 00:11:02,901
October what?

199
00:11:03,202 --> 00:11:04,937
Probably the 6th.
Could be the 7th,

200
00:11:04,938 --> 00:11:07,606
could be the 8th. But fingers
are crossed for the 6th

201
00:11:07,607 --> 00:11:09,773
by then I'll just want
this thing out of me.

202
00:11:09,774 --> 00:11:11,778
You're almost 4 months pregnant?

203
00:11:11,779 --> 00:11:13,679
Yeah. Isn't that crazy?

204
00:11:13,680 --> 00:11:17,883
Feels like yesterday I wasn't.
But I was because I'm 4 months

205
00:11:17,884 --> 00:11:20,518
The legal department
is backing your story

206
00:11:20,519 --> 00:11:23,323
about not being able
to fire a pregnant woman

207
00:11:23,324 --> 00:11:27,190
no matter how much
she might deserve it.

208
00:11:27,191 --> 00:11:29,760
So get back to work.

209
00:11:29,761 --> 00:11:31,430
Thank you so much, Jerry.

210
00:11:31,431 --> 00:11:35,991
I really appreciate it.
Thank you. From both of us.

211
00:11:39,636 --> 00:11:44,142
Congratulations on the baby.
The entire legal department is thrilled.

212
00:11:44,143 --> 00:11:47,612
Hey, why didn't you tell me earlier?
I know.

213
00:11:47,613 --> 00:11:50,780
Probably because there's so
much that can go horribly wrong.

214
00:11:50,781 --> 00:11:54,084
I mean, I'm out of the woods.
But I do everything right.

215
00:11:54,085 --> 00:11:57,420
Anyway, so I'm having my baby first,
not that it's a competition.

216
00:11:57,421 --> 00:11:59,255
But I win!

217
00:11:59,256 --> 00:12:02,193
Anyway, no, really, congratulations.

218
00:12:02,494 --> 00:12:05,227
Thea!. I'm so excited for you.

219
00:12:05,228 --> 00:12:07,798
No wonder you've been spacey lately.

220
00:12:07,799 --> 00:12:09,131
What's going on?

221
00:12:09,132 --> 00:12:11,100
Everybody, Thea's pregnant!

222
00:12:11,101 --> 00:12:13,069
Don't look at me.
I never touched her.

223
00:12:13,070 --> 00:12:15,937
Never would have guessed.
You still look sexy.

224
00:12:15,938 --> 00:12:18,773
I had to tell everyone.
Couldn't keep it a secret.

225
00:12:18,774 --> 00:12:22,078
Of course. How can you
hide that kind of thing?

226
00:12:22,079 --> 00:12:25,915
I should've known. My left knee's
been hurtling. When my knee hurts,

227
00:12:25,916 --> 00:12:27,950
it usually means someone's pregnant.

228
00:12:27,951 --> 00:12:31,921
Yeah, or they're stuck underwater
in a car. Anyway, I'm glad it's this.

229
00:12:31,922 --> 00:12:34,557
So who's the very lucky fella?

230
00:12:34,558 --> 00:12:37,059
You didn't tell 'em
the rest of the news?

231
00:12:37,060 --> 00:12:38,894
Thea and Miles are engaged I.

232
00:12:41,662 --> 00:12:44,299
That's so great!

233
00:12:44,300 --> 00:12:48,870
I mean, I got married before I got
pregnant, but better late than never.

234
00:12:49,271 --> 00:12:50,436
Yay for you!

235
00:12:50,437 --> 00:12:52,674
Yeah, I'm, I'm really
excited, everyone.

236
00:12:52,675 --> 00:12:56,109
Yeah, thrilled. Over the moon.
Way over it!

237
00:13:05,854 --> 00:13:08,088
Pregnant? It's brilliant.

238
00:13:08,089 --> 00:13:09,788
Where did you
come up with that?

239
00:13:09,789 --> 00:13:12,560
I saw it on an episode
of Law and Order.

240
00:13:12,561 --> 00:13:14,629
Yeah. You can't fire
a pregnant woman.

241
00:13:14,630 --> 00:13:17,297
Discrimination, lawsuits,
bad mojo, whatever.

242
00:13:17,298 --> 00:13:19,765
Smart.

243
00:13:19,766 --> 00:13:21,466
By the way,
thanks for your help.

244
00:13:21,467 --> 00:13:24,072
Pregnant wasn't bad enough.
I had to get engaged.

245
00:13:24,073 --> 00:13:27,740
Well, I didn't want people to think
you were some kind of wayward skank.

246
00:13:27,741 --> 00:13:29,876
Is that what you
think of single mothers?

247
00:13:29,877 --> 00:13:33,512
No, of course not. I just happen to
know that a lot of people in the office

248
00:13:33,513 --> 00:13:37,049
think you're a wayward skank and I
thought this could turn it around.

249
00:13:37,050 --> 00:13:40,819
Thanks. Crap, Lisa. What am I
gonna do? How will I get out of this?

250
00:13:40,820 --> 00:13:44,291
Can't we just say that you
know, something happened to,

251
00:13:44,292 --> 00:13:48,193
I don't know, one
of your tubes. Sprung a leak.

252
00:13:48,194 --> 00:13:50,229
Do you know what
you're talking about?

253
00:13:50,230 --> 00:13:52,564
Let's just go along with
it for a little while

254
00:13:52,565 --> 00:13:54,567
and then we'll say
it was a false alarm.

255
00:13:54,568 --> 00:13:58,135
You thought you were pregnant, but
it turns out you just had crabs.

256
00:14:06,478 --> 00:14:09,346
I'm so sorry, Em.
I had a crazy day at work

257
00:14:09,347 --> 00:14:12,216
and I lost track of time.
Am I too late?

258
00:14:12,217 --> 00:14:16,154
The meeting was at 4 and it's
5 o'clock now. You do the math.

259
00:14:16,155 --> 00:14:19,055
I'm really sorry.

260
00:14:20,126 --> 00:14:21,457
Have you been drinking?

261
00:14:21,458 --> 00:14:24,324
I had a cocktail.

262
00:14:25,096 --> 00:14:29,293
Come on. You're 17. You should
be out drinking and smoking

263
00:14:34,072 --> 00:14:37,440
I'll reschedule with your
guidance counselor next week.

264
00:14:37,441 --> 00:14:41,109
Don't bother. I already met with Ms Talbot
and we discussed my options

265
00:14:41,110 --> 00:14:43,312
What options?

266
00:14:43,313 --> 00:14:46,782
She suggested I start taking
some cooking classes after school.

267
00:14:46,783 --> 00:14:49,452
You have tennis after school.

268
00:14:49,453 --> 00:14:51,819
Yeah, but I'm sick of tennis.

269
00:14:51,820 --> 00:14:56,326
I was thinking maybe I could go to the
Culinary I institute in San Francisco.

270
00:14:56,327 --> 00:14:58,994
No way. You're staying right
here and going to UCLA.

271
00:14:58,995 --> 00:15:03,064
Tennis will cover the tuition and I'm
busting my ass off to cover the rest.

272
00:15:03,065 --> 00:15:07,136
I know. you keep telling me when Mom
and Dad died, we lost out on options.

273
00:15:07,137 --> 00:15:09,306
Just do me a favor,
be a grown-up...

274
00:15:09,307 --> 00:15:11,341
and accept the hand
that you've been dealt.

275
00:15:11,342 --> 00:15:12,839
So that's what you do?

276
00:15:12,840 --> 00:15:14,743
Yeah, that's what I do.

277
00:15:14,744 --> 00:15:20,077
Really? 'Cause you were at a bar
instead of my parent teacher conference.

278
00:15:27,656 --> 00:15:30,024
Oh, hello, Mr. Abbott.

279
00:15:30,025 --> 00:15:32,793
Jerry? Jerry, where are you?

280
00:15:32,794 --> 00:15:34,263
Mr. Abbott, can I help you?

281
00:15:34,264 --> 00:15:36,730
Is there anything
to drink in this place

282
00:15:36,731 --> 00:15:39,199
or do I have to go to my
car and get my divining rod?

283
00:15:39,200 --> 00:15:41,001
I could get you some water.

284
00:15:41,002 --> 00:15:44,439
Go ahead, soldier.
3 parts scotch, 1 part water.

285
00:15:44,440 --> 00:15:46,440
Okay. Move, move. Hey, soldier.

286
00:15:46,441 --> 00:15:48,074
What brings you to the office?

287
00:15:48,075 --> 00:15:51,244
How are you?
Well, your brother wants my book.

288
00:15:51,245 --> 00:15:54,345
Jerry's at lunch. But Thea can
take your manuscript for you

289
00:15:54,346 --> 00:15:55,950
Who's Thea?

290
00:15:55,951 --> 00:15:58,451
Jerry's secretary.
You talk to her every day.

291
00:15:58,452 --> 00:16:02,621
Congratulations are probably in order.
Thea has good news. She's having a baby

292
00:16:03,956 --> 00:16:06,459
She looks like she's strong stock.

293
00:16:06,460 --> 00:16:11,431
Maybe she can give us
a strong future Marine.

294
00:16:11,432 --> 00:16:13,264
Thea, do you have a minute?

295
00:16:13,265 --> 00:16:14,834
So, how are you?

296
00:16:14,835 --> 00:16:16,903
Fine, thanks. You?

297
00:16:16,904 --> 00:16:19,374
Oh, I'm fine.
But I'm not the one...

298
00:16:19,375 --> 00:16:22,009
with a magical bundle of joy
growing inside of me.

299
00:16:22,010 --> 00:16:25,045
So, no morning sickness?
No bloating?

300
00:16:25,046 --> 00:16:27,912
No. N...
Guess I'm just really lucky.

301
00:16:27,913 --> 00:16:29,680
A little too lucky, if you ask me.

302
00:16:29,681 --> 00:16:30,847
Yeah.

303
00:16:30,848 --> 00:16:33,315
And... where is your ring?

304
00:16:33,316 --> 00:16:35,721
Well, we...

305
00:16:35,722 --> 00:16:38,357
Her fianc� is saving
up for her ring.

306
00:16:38,358 --> 00:16:41,025
It's not very nice to
try to embarrass people.

307
00:16:41,026 --> 00:16:45,690
So why don't you get back to lying
about your self on your dating websites?

308
00:16:48,201 --> 00:16:51,702
Don't worry about him. He doesn't
know anything. He's an idiot.

309
00:16:51,703 --> 00:16:54,635
And I'm sure Greg is still a virgin.

310
00:16:55,941 --> 00:16:57,442
Come on, Jerry.

311
00:16:57,443 --> 00:16:59,009
Alright, Jerry.

312
00:16:59,310 --> 00:17:00,310
Watch!

313
00:17:00,311 --> 00:17:01,511
Dumbass.

314
00:17:01,512 --> 00:17:03,712
Come on, Nick.

315
00:17:03,713 --> 00:17:05,616
Come on Nick, you can do it.

316
00:17:14,325 --> 00:17:15,494
Hit it!

317
00:17:16,763 --> 00:17:18,828
Ball. Take your base.

318
00:17:18,829 --> 00:17:20,196
Take your base

319
00:17:20,197 --> 00:17:22,465
Come on, Thea.

320
00:17:22,466 --> 00:17:23,598
Come on, Thea!

321
00:17:23,599 --> 00:17:24,967
Let's go, Thea!

322
00:17:26,104 --> 00:17:27,704
Go, go. Home run.

323
00:17:27,705 --> 00:17:29,105
Come on, come on.

324
00:17:29,106 --> 00:17:32,165
Go, go.
Get home, get home.

325
00:17:33,143 --> 00:17:34,876
Come on, come on.

326
00:17:36,613 --> 00:17:38,014
Safe!

327
00:17:40,617 --> 00:17:41,750
Are you okay?

328
00:17:41,751 --> 00:17:43,909
Yeah. I'm great.

329
00:17:44,718 --> 00:17:47,489
Come on, Colonel.
You can do it.

330
00:17:47,490 --> 00:17:48,689
you got it I

331
00:17:48,690 --> 00:17:49,758
Great.

332
00:17:49,759 --> 00:17:50,893
Thea.

333
00:17:50,894 --> 00:17:53,827
Kristen. Come here, please now.

334
00:17:53,828 --> 00:17:57,967
you shouldn't be playing
in your condition.

335
00:17:57,968 --> 00:17:59,167
What condition?

336
00:17:59,168 --> 00:18:00,835
your baby.

337
00:18:00,836 --> 00:18:02,872
Lisa, get your ass out on base?

338
00:18:02,873 --> 00:18:04,138
Of course.

339
00:18:04,139 --> 00:18:06,308
We're taking you out.
For the season.

340
00:18:07,511 --> 00:18:10,909
All season.

341
00:18:11,846 --> 00:18:14,379
Come on I

342
00:18:14,380 --> 00:18:15,882
Hey, thanks for the RBI.

343
00:18:15,883 --> 00:18:18,019
Yeah, well, no more RBIs.

344
00:18:18,020 --> 00:18:21,721
Jerry says I'm a liability,
so I can't play 'cause I'm pregnant.

345
00:18:21,722 --> 00:18:25,714
Sounds like the most reasonable
opinion he's had in years.

346
00:18:35,234 --> 00:18:37,260
Yes!

347
00:18:47,949 --> 00:18:49,481
MacArthur?

348
00:18:49,482 --> 00:18:50,982
Good heavens.

349
00:18:50,983 --> 00:18:54,187
Oh, it's okay.
I'm coming for you, baby.

350
00:19:03,529 --> 00:19:05,462
I need a copy of
Abbott's manuscript.

351
00:19:05,463 --> 00:19:08,467
I'm gonna read it in the car
on the way to his funeral.

352
00:19:08,468 --> 00:19:11,403
What? You've never seen a
manuscript on napkins before?

353
00:19:11,404 --> 00:19:14,272
When genius strikes,
you write it down. Do it now.

354
00:19:14,273 --> 00:19:16,500
Okay.

355
00:19:20,012 --> 00:19:23,815
Thea, should you still
be using the copier?

356
00:19:23,816 --> 00:19:26,682
Copy machines emit
electro magnetic waves.

357
00:19:26,683 --> 00:19:28,452
And what does that do?

358
00:19:28,453 --> 00:19:31,822
Well, no one knows yet. But I've been
reading on the message boards

359
00:19:31,823 --> 00:19:34,427
and it seems like something
you should avoid...

360
00:19:34,428 --> 00:19:36,026
if you're trying to have
a well pregnancy.

361
00:19:36,027 --> 00:19:37,596
I think I should be okay.

362
00:19:37,997 --> 00:19:41,265
Good. Well, if it doesn't bother you,

363
00:19:41,266 --> 00:19:43,534
then can you make
50 copies of that for me?

364
00:19:43,535 --> 00:19:46,195
Thank you.

365
00:19:47,640 --> 00:19:49,407
You know, I, I find it fascinating

366
00:19:49,408 --> 00:19:52,008
that Kristen is only a
month further along than you

367
00:19:52,009 --> 00:19:55,810
and yet she's the size of a school bus
and you're still the size of Kate Moss.

368
00:19:55,811 --> 00:19:58,382
Different strokes, I guess.

369
00:19:58,383 --> 00:20:02,552
Perhaps it's easier to feel
the bump than to see it.

370
00:20:02,553 --> 00:20:06,087
What's the big deal? Everyone
likes to touch a pregnant stomach.

371
00:20:06,088 --> 00:20:09,286
Because you're
a gross weirdo, Greg.

372
00:20:10,095 --> 00:20:13,103
And the baby doesn't
like gross weirdoes, Greg.

373
00:20:15,063 --> 00:20:15,963
Okay.

374
00:20:16,264 --> 00:20:18,493
You and me are going
shopping after work.

375
00:20:30,214 --> 00:20:32,179
What on earth are you doing?

376
00:20:32,180 --> 00:20:33,614
I'm stealing you a belly.

377
00:20:33,615 --> 00:20:34,750
What?

378
00:20:34,751 --> 00:20:36,284
You're 4 months pregnant

379
00:20:36,285 --> 00:20:38,755
and you've got the abs
of a Jenku swimsuit model.

380
00:20:38,756 --> 00:20:40,355
Cover me. Okay?

381
00:20:40,356 --> 00:20:43,123
Look. If you want people
to think you're pregnant,

382
00:20:43,124 --> 00:20:48,254
you've gotta start talking the
talk and walking the... waddle

383
00:20:49,732 --> 00:20:51,299
I don't know if I can do this.

384
00:20:51,300 --> 00:20:53,501
you can do this.
Just do it for a week.

385
00:20:53,502 --> 00:20:57,270
But you've gotta look the part or
people are gonna get suspicious.

386
00:20:57,271 --> 00:20:59,775
I look ridiculous.

387
00:20:59,776 --> 00:21:02,109
These jeans
are elastic on the top.

388
00:21:02,110 --> 00:21:04,478
I feel like I'm wearing
a condom on my stomach.

389
00:21:04,479 --> 00:21:08,413
you don't look like you've been
anywhere near a condom.

390
00:21:08,414 --> 00:21:13,186
Gross. Did you know that when
women are in labor they sometimes poop?

391
00:21:14,755 --> 00:21:18,589
Have you ever heard of an episiotomy?
Or cackles?

392
00:21:19,894 --> 00:21:22,961
Well, we should get
this as a reference.

393
00:21:22,962 --> 00:21:25,999
I thought this whole thing was
gonna blow over in a few days.

394
00:21:26,000 --> 00:21:29,704
Yeah, but until then you should know
the ins and outs of being preggers.

395
00:21:29,705 --> 00:21:32,805
There's a whole world of stuff
here you know nothing about.

396
00:21:32,806 --> 00:21:35,640
Yeah. And I'd kind of
like to keep it that way.

397
00:21:35,641 --> 00:21:38,109
Look at those nipples.

398
00:21:38,110 --> 00:21:39,646
Wait a second.

399
00:21:39,647 --> 00:21:40,747
What?

400
00:21:40,748 --> 00:21:42,147
Here. Here.

401
00:21:42,148 --> 00:21:44,315
No. Can I keep the stomach
at your house?

402
00:21:44,316 --> 00:21:46,650
No. That's like keeping
your arm at my house.

403
00:21:46,651 --> 00:21:49,888
No, no. I don't want Emma to
find out and she hates when I lie.

404
00:21:49,889 --> 00:21:50,990
You lie all the time.

405
00:21:50,991 --> 00:21:52,257
No, really.

406
00:21:52,258 --> 00:21:55,623
It stays with you.
It's your stomach.

407
00:22:06,438 --> 00:22:08,071
Hey! Can I get a little privacy?

408
00:22:08,372 --> 00:22:10,776
What are you doing in there?
Can I just come in?

409
00:22:10,777 --> 00:22:12,442
I'm trying to talk to you.

410
00:22:12,443 --> 00:22:16,413
It doesn't matter what I'm doing
right now, I am busy. Shoo.

411
00:22:18,449 --> 00:22:20,818
Morning, Thea, you got my check?

412
00:22:22,819 --> 00:22:24,520
Look at you.

413
00:22:24,521 --> 00:22:27,589
Yeah, look at me.
It's not what, um...

414
00:22:27,590 --> 00:22:30,594
Oh, gee, I mean. You've obviously
got a lot on your plate.

415
00:22:30,595 --> 00:22:33,896
I'm sorry about the other day.
Don't worry about the rent check.

416
00:22:33,897 --> 00:22:35,931
Take another week or 2.

417
00:22:35,932 --> 00:22:37,632
You just take care of your self.

418
00:22:37,633 --> 00:22:40,036
Oh, my God.

419
00:22:41,337 --> 00:22:43,206
How exciting.

420
00:22:43,207 --> 00:22:45,242
I have so much baby
stuff I can lend you.

421
00:22:45,243 --> 00:22:47,842
Let me know if you need to
borrow my old breast pump.

422
00:22:47,843 --> 00:22:49,076
I just have to rinse it.

423
00:23:08,363 --> 00:23:11,400
My favorite lubricant, Ann?
WD-40.

424
00:23:11,401 --> 00:23:15,370
Thea. I've made some brownies
for you to fatten you up.

425
00:23:15,371 --> 00:23:16,470
Oh, thank you.

426
00:23:16,471 --> 00:23:17,770
It popped.

427
00:23:17,771 --> 00:23:19,840
Yeah, once you pop,
you can't stop.

428
00:23:19,841 --> 00:23:22,811
You're carrying low.
It's definitely a boy.

429
00:23:22,812 --> 00:23:26,613
Whatever it is, you've obviously
begun that slippery slide into obesity.

430
00:23:26,614 --> 00:23:29,549
Well, you had a nice run
there, didn't you, champ?

431
00:23:29,550 --> 00:23:32,154
Oh, good morning.

432
00:23:32,155 --> 00:23:34,222
Look at you.

433
00:23:34,223 --> 00:23:36,890
Oh, my God. I think
I just felt it kick.

434
00:23:36,891 --> 00:23:39,958
Yeah, mark it in the
baby journal for me, will you?

435
00:23:39,959 --> 00:23:41,195
I will.

436
00:23:41,196 --> 00:23:42,563
Are people buying it?

437
00:23:42,564 --> 00:23:45,131
Totally. Totally.
Ann made me brownies.

438
00:23:45,132 --> 00:23:47,200
I got a seat on the bus today.

439
00:23:47,201 --> 00:23:49,367
And Garts not attracted
to me anymore.

440
00:23:49,368 --> 00:23:51,439
It's the best morning
I've had in years.

441
00:23:51,440 --> 00:23:54,173
Okay, you want to hear
something even more amazing?

442
00:23:54,174 --> 00:23:56,375
Have you read Abbott's
new manuscript?

443
00:23:56,376 --> 00:23:58,211
I get asked to Xerox,
not to read.

444
00:23:58,212 --> 00:24:01,282
Okay. Get ready
to have your mind blown.

445
00:24:01,283 --> 00:24:04,816
"Philip of Macedon had a hard-on."

446
00:24:04,817 --> 00:24:07,552
"Scaled great peaks
to conquer the Greeks."

447
00:24:07,553 --> 00:24:10,088
It's all rhyming couplets
and dirty limericks.

448
00:24:10,089 --> 00:24:13,358
And this is what Jerry's
betting the bank on.

449
00:24:13,359 --> 00:24:14,893
It's insane.

450
00:24:14,894 --> 00:24:17,088
Oh, you're welcome.

451
00:24:19,898 --> 00:24:21,733
Well, you look different.

452
00:24:21,734 --> 00:24:24,669
Sorry. I'll move you to the
shitty corner in a second.

453
00:24:24,670 --> 00:24:27,773
It's all right, dear.
You've got your hands full.

454
00:24:27,774 --> 00:24:30,039
You've exploded.

455
00:24:30,040 --> 00:24:32,100
Well, yes, she has.

456
00:24:35,214 --> 00:24:37,849
Well, people. I'm sure
you'll be relieved to hear

457
00:24:37,850 --> 00:24:41,520
that MacArthur is expected
to make a full recovery.

458
00:24:41,521 --> 00:24:43,255
I've gotten her a spot

459
00:24:43,256 --> 00:24:46,724
at the McElroy Center for Veterinary
Rehabilitation in Bethesda.

460
00:24:46,725 --> 00:24:48,626
It's the best in the country.

461
00:24:48,627 --> 00:24:52,364
They tell me she should be at 90%
tail-wagging capability

462
00:24:52,365 --> 00:24:53,698
after just 6 weeks.

463
00:24:53,699 --> 00:24:55,765
I'll be out of the office for a while.

464
00:24:55,766 --> 00:24:58,367
I'll be working out of the
rehab center In Bethesda

465
00:24:58,368 --> 00:25:01,572
where I've taken a room for the
duration of MacArthur's stay.

466
00:25:01,573 --> 00:25:05,109
U until I get back, Nicky
will be holding down the fort.

467
00:25:05,110 --> 00:25:08,311
I'm giving him strict instructions
not to do anything stupid.

468
00:25:08,312 --> 00:25:10,112
Code red.

469
00:25:10,113 --> 00:25:12,449
Seriously, Nick.

470
00:25:12,450 --> 00:25:15,315
Don't blow it.

471
00:25:16,487 --> 00:25:18,154
Check it out.

472
00:25:18,155 --> 00:25:21,322
There's our fearless leader
plotting our brilliant future.

473
00:25:21,323 --> 00:25:24,693
Well at least with him
In charge, I'm off the hook.

474
00:25:24,694 --> 00:25:26,962
Well, things are looking up.

475
00:25:26,963 --> 00:25:29,630
Okay, let's figure out how
to get me out of this mess.

476
00:25:29,631 --> 00:25:33,336
I'll google what kind of mishaps
can happen when you're pregnant.

477
00:25:33,337 --> 00:25:35,403
Hey, guys.
Sorry to bother you.

478
00:25:35,404 --> 00:25:38,907
You're boss now, Nick.
You can bother us anytime you want.

479
00:25:38,908 --> 00:25:45,607
Right. Thea, I kind of need a favor.
Would you, come with me?

480
00:25:47,549 --> 00:25:49,250
We're meeting Susie Cavendish.

481
00:25:49,251 --> 00:25:51,652
I mentioned her in
the meeting last week.

482
00:25:51,653 --> 00:25:54,755
You see, Suzie's written
this hilarious book

483
00:25:54,756 --> 00:25:58,192
about pregnancy. It, it's true
stories about pregnant women

484
00:25:58,193 --> 00:26:02,263
getting stuck in bathtubs and
throwing up under their desks at work

485
00:26:02,264 --> 00:26:05,099
and farting
by mistake in meetings.

486
00:26:05,100 --> 00:26:08,736
It's stuff you must know a lot
more about than me, obviously.

487
00:26:08,737 --> 00:26:10,869
Yeah, totally. Totally.

488
00:26:10,870 --> 00:26:14,274
I'm trying really,
really hard not to fart right now.

489
00:26:14,275 --> 00:26:17,678
Anyway, I want to publish Susie's book

490
00:26:17,679 --> 00:26:20,679
and while Jerry's gone,
I'm gonna do it.

491
00:26:20,680 --> 00:26:23,017
You know, carpe deem
and all that stuff.

492
00:26:23,018 --> 00:26:24,785
Yeah, definitely.

493
00:26:24,786 --> 00:26:28,822
I actually used to be a pretty
carpe diem kind of person myself.

494
00:26:28,823 --> 00:26:30,090
But not anymore.

495
00:26:30,091 --> 00:26:31,390
Because I'm pregnant.

496
00:26:31,391 --> 00:26:33,194
See, that's just it.

497
00:26:33,195 --> 00:26:36,195
Susie's not convinced that
Steinwald's the right place.

498
00:26:36,196 --> 00:26:39,564
So I thought you might help
convince her otherwise.

499
00:26:39,565 --> 00:26:41,231
Yeah, sure.

500
00:26:41,232 --> 00:26:45,567
I mean, I'll just talk to her
about the whole farting thing.

501
00:26:47,473 --> 00:26:50,074
One thing. Susie kind of
thinks you're an editor.

502
00:26:50,075 --> 00:26:51,709
Why would she think that?

503
00:26:51,710 --> 00:26:53,313
I kind of implied it.

504
00:26:53,314 --> 00:26:54,415
What?

505
00:26:54,416 --> 00:26:55,515
Susie!

506
00:26:55,516 --> 00:26:58,050
Nice to see you.

507
00:26:58,051 --> 00:27:02,052
Most pregnancy books
make you feel totally Inadequate

508
00:27:02,053 --> 00:27:04,657
and how you're destined to
be a failure as a parent.

509
00:27:04,658 --> 00:27:07,291
No one writes about what
pregnancy is really like,

510
00:27:07,292 --> 00:27:09,827
how you feel fat and clumsy and stupid.

511
00:27:09,828 --> 00:27:12,095
The absolute worst is

512
00:27:12,096 --> 00:27:15,566
"What to Expect When you're Expecting."
Have you read that?

513
00:27:15,867 --> 00:27:20,271
No, I was told it was so bad
I shouldn't even go near it.

514
00:27:20,272 --> 00:27:22,139
So, what are you reading?

515
00:27:24,710 --> 00:27:27,744
You know, just the usual suspects.

516
00:27:27,745 --> 00:27:29,312
Like?

517
00:27:29,313 --> 00:27:33,652
Well, I was banking on
finding Pregnancy for Dummies.

518
00:27:33,653 --> 00:27:36,286
I love that series. Yeah.

519
00:27:36,287 --> 00:27:38,622
Interesting.

520
00:27:38,623 --> 00:27:40,891
Come on, Nicky, how can
you guys sell my book

521
00:27:40,892 --> 00:27:43,324
if you're not familiar
with the competition?

522
00:27:43,325 --> 00:27:45,797
Thea has had a pretty
full workload lately.

523
00:27:45,798 --> 00:27:49,666
I don't know, guys. I don't know
if this is the right marriage.

524
00:27:49,667 --> 00:27:53,067
Come on. From the people who
brought you the Kalashnikov diaries

525
00:27:53,068 --> 00:27:56,638
comes a comedic send-up
of 21st century pregnancy?

526
00:27:56,639 --> 00:27:59,642
It's just, the right
home is so important.

527
00:27:59,643 --> 00:28:01,309
I know. We are the right home.

528
00:28:01,310 --> 00:28:05,515
I mean, sure, our plumbing
is a little leaky

529
00:28:05,516 --> 00:28:07,983
and maybe we need
a new paint job.

530
00:28:07,984 --> 00:28:12,153
But our backyard is a really great
place for a barbecue In the summer.

531
00:28:12,154 --> 00:28:15,592
You know?

532
00:28:15,593 --> 00:28:17,695
If we can make a bestseller...

533
00:28:17,696 --> 00:28:20,429
outta the Defeat of Darius at Issus
we've gotta be good.

534
00:28:20,430 --> 00:28:22,395
I mean, that couldn't be easy, right?

535
00:28:22,396 --> 00:28:24,200
Absolutely.

536
00:28:24,201 --> 00:28:26,935
The thing about pregnancy
is it's Incredibly messy.

537
00:28:26,936 --> 00:28:29,903
Those other books are teaching
you how to avoid the mess.

538
00:28:29,904 --> 00:28:31,405
You're embracing the mess.

539
00:28:31,406 --> 00:28:34,509
And you've written
an incredible, insightful,

540
00:28:34,510 --> 00:28:38,579
hilarious, controversial manifesto.
And...

541
00:28:38,580 --> 00:28:41,583
Just give us a shot.
It has bestseller written all over it.

542
00:28:41,584 --> 00:28:44,447
We promise we
won't let you down.

543
00:28:45,888 --> 00:28:47,087
So you've read it.

544
00:28:47,388 --> 00:28:50,352
I live it. Love it. Every day.

545
00:28:51,259 --> 00:28:52,766
Let me think about it.

546
00:28:53,627 --> 00:28:55,098
Hey, I'm startling a new
birthing class tomorrow.

547
00:28:55,099 --> 00:28:58,231
Maybe Thea could come with me.
Absolutely.

548
00:28:58,232 --> 00:28:59,599
She'll be there.

549
00:28:59,600 --> 00:29:01,335
And bring your partner.

550
00:29:01,336 --> 00:29:04,570
Her fianc�. Miles, right?

551
00:29:04,571 --> 00:29:07,672
Yeah. Could you excuse
me for a second?

552
00:29:07,673 --> 00:29:08,677
Yes.

553
00:29:16,049 --> 00:29:18,744
Vodka. Straight up.

554
00:29:24,356 --> 00:29:25,518
Thanks.

555
00:29:33,298 --> 00:29:34,564
You okay?

556
00:29:34,965 --> 00:29:36,969
I just set the world
record for bullshitting.

557
00:29:36,970 --> 00:29:38,170
What happened?

558
00:29:38,171 --> 00:29:41,572
Long story. The point is,
I can't handle doing it again.

559
00:29:43,107 --> 00:29:44,274
A promotion?

560
00:29:44,275 --> 00:29:46,645
You are the new Associate Editor

561
00:29:46,646 --> 00:29:48,479
of our brand new Family division.

562
00:29:48,480 --> 00:29:50,214
Family division?

563
00:29:50,215 --> 00:29:53,150
Susie just called. She wants to
give us a shot, thanks to you.

564
00:29:53,151 --> 00:29:55,621
Now, Susie's book will
launch our new division.

565
00:29:55,622 --> 00:29:58,589
It's a perfect opportunity
to capture a new demographic

566
00:29:58,590 --> 00:30:00,858
and help the company
to grow vertically...

567
00:30:00,859 --> 00:30:02,492
Nick.

568
00:30:02,493 --> 00:30:05,261
Look, there's something
I need to tell you.

569
00:30:05,262 --> 00:30:06,798
This whole thing is a big lie.

570
00:30:06,799 --> 00:30:09,166
I feel terrible, but I'm not really...

571
00:30:09,167 --> 00:30:10,967
An editor?

572
00:30:10,968 --> 00:30:13,402
I know, I'm the one
who forced you to lie.

573
00:30:13,403 --> 00:30:17,843
Which as a rule isn't great but what's not
a lie is that you did really good today.

574
00:30:17,844 --> 00:30:19,943
There's so many
people more qualified.

575
00:30:19,944 --> 00:30:23,012
So many people in ways
you don't even know.

576
00:30:23,013 --> 00:30:27,483
Thea. To be a good editor all you
need is a, a feel for the material.

577
00:30:27,484 --> 00:30:30,153
It's what my father had
when he started this company

578
00:30:30,154 --> 00:30:32,055
and it's what you have.

579
00:30:32,056 --> 00:30:35,591
You're living through the thrills 
of starting a family right now.

580
00:30:35,592 --> 00:30:37,995
What about Kristen?
She's pregnant.

581
00:30:37,996 --> 00:30:41,363
Obviously I am too, but she's,
she's really pregnant.

582
00:30:41,364 --> 00:30:45,868
First of all, Kristen's a lawyer
without a creative bone in her body.

583
00:30:45,869 --> 00:30:50,538
And then there's the indisputable
fact that she's a complete weirdo.

584
00:30:51,409 --> 00:30:54,674
Look, Nick, I mean,
I see your point. I do.

585
00:30:54,675 --> 00:30:55,945
And I wanna help.

586
00:30:56,946 --> 00:30:59,947
But I just, I can't.

587
00:30:59,948 --> 00:31:02,049
Thea, I'm not your accountant.

588
00:31:02,050 --> 00:31:04,417
But the other thing
you should know is that

589
00:31:04,418 --> 00:31:08,258
associate editors make a lot
more money than secretaries.

590
00:31:08,259 --> 00:31:09,424
A lot?

591
00:31:09,425 --> 00:31:10,626
Let's just say,

592
00:31:10,727 --> 00:31:13,395
you'll have your own secretary
and your own office.

593
00:31:13,396 --> 00:31:15,397
So are you my new
associate editor?

594
00:31:16,898 --> 00:31:19,522
I guess I am.
Great.

595
00:31:22,104 --> 00:31:25,304
"War Stories From the Pregnancy
Front" by Susie Cavendish.

596
00:31:25,305 --> 00:31:28,342
You loved it, you live it.

597
00:31:28,343 --> 00:31:30,010
You should probably read it.

598
00:31:30,011 --> 00:31:31,946
<i>I do, I agree with that.
I agree with what you're saying.</i>

599
00:31:31,947 --> 00:31:35,214
<i>I think If you have your colon
health you do have everything.</i>

600
00:31:35,215 --> 00:31:39,518
<i>But, I do, I thought it interesting when
you said we were actually going wrong</i>

601
00:31:39,519 --> 00:31:45,323
<i>and we should be sort of on the seat like
a gargoyle as opposed to just sitting.</i>

602
00:31:47,124 --> 00:31:48,396
Not now, Miles.

603
00:31:48,397 --> 00:31:52,364
C'mon. Don't you know enough about
being fake pregnant already?

604
00:31:52,365 --> 00:31:55,934
How can this be this
big of a deal?

605
00:31:55,935 --> 00:31:59,673
I mean, come on, you do the nasty,
you're knocked up, you

606
00:31:59,674 --> 00:32:03,642
inflate and then 8, 9 months?
9 months later

607
00:32:03,643 --> 00:32:07,880
you shoot that puppy out. I mean, how
can there be 8 million books about this?

608
00:32:07,881 --> 00:32:10,048
Just promise me
you won't write one.

609
00:32:10,049 --> 00:32:13,518
Okay. If you promise
you're still on birth control.

610
00:32:13,519 --> 00:32:15,385
Believe me, I am.

611
00:32:15,386 --> 00:32:16,653
Oh, yeah?

612
00:32:17,758 --> 00:32:18,925
Excellent.

613
00:32:43,348 --> 00:32:44,715
Nice new digs, huh?

614
00:32:44,716 --> 00:32:45,848
Yeah.

615
00:32:45,849 --> 00:32:47,382
So, what did you think?

616
00:32:47,383 --> 00:32:48,652
About what?

617
00:32:48,653 --> 00:32:51,484
Susie's book.
Any thoughts?

618
00:32:52,123 --> 00:32:54,892
Oh, yeah, it was great.

619
00:32:54,893 --> 00:32:56,791
What do you think?

620
00:32:56,792 --> 00:32:59,496
How much did you actually read?

621
00:32:59,497 --> 00:33:01,898
The first 2 chapters.

622
00:33:01,899 --> 00:33:05,600
But I'm gonna finish the rest of it today.
I just got a little distracted.

623
00:33:05,601 --> 00:33:06,969
Nick, please, let me explain.

624
00:33:06,970 --> 00:33:09,506
Thanks for your thoughts.

625
00:33:11,007 --> 00:33:14,578
You have shelves. And a door.

626
00:33:17,012 --> 00:33:19,282
Congratulations, Thea.

627
00:33:19,883 --> 00:33:21,586
Thank you, Greg.

628
00:33:24,519 --> 00:33:27,488
You really think you can get to
the top by playing games, don't ya?

629
00:33:27,489 --> 00:33:30,260
I know what you're up to, Thea.
And I think that it stinks.

630
00:33:30,361 --> 00:33:31,561
It superstinks.

631
00:33:33,796 --> 00:33:37,664
Really? Do you think that it stinks that
I want to hire you to be my Assistant?

632
00:33:37,665 --> 00:33:39,669
Really?

633
00:33:39,670 --> 00:33:43,104
you'll start first thing Monday
after I put the paperwork through.

634
00:33:43,405 --> 00:33:46,873
Thea. Thea, thank you so much.
I could kiss you right now.

635
00:33:46,874 --> 00:33:48,376
You don't have to do that.

636
00:33:48,377 --> 00:33:49,778
I'll see you later, boss.

637
00:33:49,779 --> 00:33:51,844
Look at you,
Little Miss Executive.

638
00:33:51,845 --> 00:33:54,615
Hardly. I don't even really
know what I'm doing here.

639
00:33:54,616 --> 00:33:57,250
I didn't finish the
manuscript last night and Nick

640
00:33:57,251 --> 00:33:59,687
just asked for my opinion
and I didn't have one.

641
00:33:59,688 --> 00:34:06,785
you might wanna get one. This is your
ticket out of the secretarial pool.

642
00:34:20,041 --> 00:34:23,142
If your last name is O'Keeffe,
why do you look Jewish?

643
00:34:23,143 --> 00:34:27,212
Well, It's true.
You don't look Irish.

644
00:34:44,298 --> 00:34:46,662
Steinwald Publishing.

645
00:34:54,474 --> 00:34:58,008
So O'Keeffe got a new girlfriend.
He's robbing the cradle.

646
00:34:58,009 --> 00:35:00,603
She's 95.

647
00:35:03,415 --> 00:35:05,938
Did you hear me?

648
00:35:08,285 --> 00:35:10,388
I loved it.
It was funny and smart

649
00:35:10,389 --> 00:35:12,923
and you don't even have
to be pregnant to enjoy it.

650
00:35:12,924 --> 00:35:15,391
I'm guessing about that
because I am pregnant.

651
00:35:15,392 --> 00:35:17,326
I enjoyed it and
I'm not pregnant.

652
00:35:17,327 --> 00:35:20,800
I was thinking, you could organize
the chapters like a pregnancy.

653
00:35:20,801 --> 00:35:23,567
You know, group each
woman's stories by trimester.

654
00:35:23,602 --> 00:35:27,069
So, so the book would start with
stories about the awkward moments

655
00:35:27,070 --> 00:35:29,741
when everyone thinks you've
been eating too many cupcakes.

656
00:35:29,742 --> 00:35:32,275
Exactly. And then the 2nd trimester.

657
00:35:32,276 --> 00:35:35,678
Like Sally's story when she threw
up in her purse at her kid's play.

658
00:35:35,679 --> 00:35:39,481
Nick, I'm sorry I didn't finish the book
last night. It won't happen again.

659
00:35:39,482 --> 00:35:41,318
I'm glad you like it.

660
00:35:41,319 --> 00:35:44,686
We've got our work cut out for us.
It'll be in bookstores in just 6 weeks.

661
00:35:44,687 --> 00:35:45,993
I'd like to look at your notes,

662
00:35:45,994 --> 00:35:49,694
but Susie's birthing class starts in
20 minutes so you'd probably head out.

663
00:35:49,695 --> 00:35:55,464
I totally forgot. The thing is,
Miles is going out of town for work.

664
00:35:55,465 --> 00:35:56,632
That's too bad.

665
00:35:56,633 --> 00:35:58,633
Do you think I could reschedule?

666
00:35:58,634 --> 00:36:03,038
Now it's time for partner
relaxation techniques

667
00:36:03,039 --> 00:36:05,140
for when your special
marathon begins.

668
00:36:05,141 --> 00:36:08,609
So, partners, I want you to
move behind your marathoners...

669
00:36:08,610 --> 00:36:10,746
with your legs open in a big V.

670
00:36:11,747 --> 00:36:13,448
Welcome home.

671
00:36:13,449 --> 00:36:18,218
Now, take this opportunity to
stroke your wives or girlfriends.

672
00:36:18,219 --> 00:36:20,354
Stroke it out.

673
00:36:20,355 --> 00:36:23,623
Now why don't you whisper
something special to her, okay?

674
00:36:23,624 --> 00:36:26,928
Something that only you two would
share in this private moment.

675
00:36:26,929 --> 00:36:29,763
It could be funny,
it could be naughty.

676
00:36:30,867 --> 00:36:33,134
I'm not listening.

677
00:36:33,135 --> 00:36:35,503
Let that relaxation wash over you.

678
00:36:35,504 --> 00:36:37,105
I am so sorry about this.

679
00:36:37,106 --> 00:36:39,606
It's, you know, you don't
have to stroke my hair.

680
00:36:39,607 --> 00:36:41,343
Okay, I'm sorry.

681
00:36:41,344 --> 00:36:43,543
You know, you can
lean back if you want.

682
00:36:43,544 --> 00:36:45,579
I, I can tell you're kind of straining.

683
00:36:45,580 --> 00:36:46,779
I am.

684
00:36:46,780 --> 00:36:49,214
Great. Now that we're all relaxed,

685
00:36:49,215 --> 00:36:51,852
let's try some birthing positions, okay?

686
00:36:52,153 --> 00:36:55,155
Mary? Could I borrow your partner
for just a sec?

687
00:36:55,156 --> 00:36:57,623
I promise I'll give him back. Maybe.

688
00:36:57,624 --> 00:37:00,058
I'm just kidding. Come here, cutie.
All right.

689
00:37:00,059 --> 00:37:04,831
Marathoners, I want you to get on all 4s with
your palms firmly placed to the ground

690
00:37:04,832 --> 00:37:07,007
and then we're gonna rock back.

691
00:37:07,332 --> 00:37:09,467
We're gonna rock back into it.

692
00:37:09,868 --> 00:37:11,738
Feel that womb open up.

693
00:37:11,739 --> 00:37:15,374
It feels familiar, right? This is how
we got ourselves into this mess.

694
00:37:16,675 --> 00:37:19,877
For some of us, not all of us.
The position's not for everybody.

695
00:37:19,978 --> 00:37:24,582
And now, partners, I want you to envelope
your marathoner, okay? And just

696
00:37:24,583 --> 00:37:27,987
get in a deep stretch here
around the belly

697
00:37:27,988 --> 00:37:32,325
keep moving back and forth, right?
Get your hands on the tummy back there.

698
00:37:32,326 --> 00:37:35,425
And keep pushing in.
Keep pushing in and envelope.

699
00:37:35,426 --> 00:37:38,028
Get right on top of there.
Feel that, feel...

700
00:37:38,029 --> 00:37:39,428
Man down, okay.

701
00:37:39,429 --> 00:37:40,364
- Sorry.
- It's all right.

702
00:37:40,365 --> 00:37:43,702
Just hop back on the horse, okay?
No mistakes in here.

703
00:37:43,703 --> 00:37:49,573
Okay. All right. Finish up when
you feel done. I need a few more.

704
00:37:49,574 --> 00:37:52,043
If you'll indulge me Mary, thank you.

705
00:37:52,044 --> 00:37:55,513
Okay, and just keep the rocking.
Never stop rocking.

706
00:37:57,314 --> 00:38:01,449
Yes. Give it to me, Rob!
We're doing it now.

707
00:38:04,988 --> 00:38:06,192
Okay.

708
00:38:07,588 --> 00:38:08,692
And we're done.

709
00:38:08,793 --> 00:38:11,359
Wonderful, thank you.
This guy's good, right?

710
00:38:11,760 --> 00:38:14,031
I'm gonna borrow
you for another class.

711
00:38:14,432 --> 00:38:17,439
Or after class.
I'm kidding.

712
00:38:21,505 --> 00:38:23,707
Bye, guys.
Thank you.

713
00:38:24,408 --> 00:38:25,708
That was great. Thanks a lot.

714
00:38:25,709 --> 00:38:26,776
Bye.

715
00:38:28,505 --> 00:38:32,649
That was up there as one of the most
embarrassing moments of my life.

716
00:38:32,650 --> 00:38:35,518
Hey, here, let me
get you something.

717
00:38:35,519 --> 00:38:39,645
No, no, it's the least I can
do after nearly paralyzing you.

718
00:38:41,159 --> 00:38:42,218
Hi.

719
00:38:46,862 --> 00:38:48,396
Thanks.

720
00:38:48,397 --> 00:38:50,997
Did you always work
in the family business?

721
00:38:51,998 --> 00:38:56,504
I wanted to be a writer. But I was
scared I might be a total hack

722
00:38:56,505 --> 00:38:58,740
so I got an accounting degree.

723
00:38:58,741 --> 00:39:01,609
I figured I'd make a living doing
that while I finished my book, but...

724
00:39:01,710 --> 00:39:04,146
kind of been stuck in
the middle for a few years.

725
00:39:04,247 --> 00:39:06,247
What about you? What you
wanna be when you grow up?

726
00:39:06,248 --> 00:39:09,551
Well, in college I played
in a badass metal band.

727
00:39:09,552 --> 00:39:11,685
Really? You're a badass?

728
00:39:11,686 --> 00:39:14,155
A little bit, kind of.

729
00:39:14,156 --> 00:39:17,924
That's fascinating.
A little terrifying but fascinating.

730
00:39:17,925 --> 00:39:22,128
So is that what you did in college,
badass metal band studies?

731
00:39:22,129 --> 00:39:24,264
No, I didn't finish college.

732
00:39:24,265 --> 00:39:27,367
Oh, why not? Too boring?
Not Joan Jett enough for you?

733
00:39:28,268 --> 00:39:33,373
No. I loved college. It's just my parents
passed away in a car accident, so,

734
00:39:33,674 --> 00:39:36,243
I had to leave to take
care of my little sister.

735
00:39:36,544 --> 00:39:38,545
I'm sorry.
I shouldn't have said anything.

736
00:39:38,546 --> 00:39:41,479
Oh, no, no. I...
I'm glad you told me.

737
00:39:41,480 --> 00:39:44,350
I'm just so sorry that happened.

738
00:39:44,351 --> 00:39:46,784
Thanks.

739
00:39:47,821 --> 00:39:49,756
So is your sister a badass like you?

740
00:39:49,757 --> 00:39:51,922
No, she's more of a smart ass.

741
00:39:52,423 --> 00:39:53,519
Here.

742
00:39:56,863 --> 00:39:58,998
You know, Susie's having
a pool party this weekend.

743
00:39:58,999 --> 00:40:01,399
You should come.
And bring Miles.

744
00:40:01,400 --> 00:40:02,603
Pool party?
Yeah.

745
00:40:03,404 --> 00:40:05,836
I promise, I won't be
wearing a Speedo.

746
00:40:20,786 --> 00:40:22,352
Nice look!

747
00:40:22,353 --> 00:40:25,258
Do we have a secret steam
room you never told me about?

748
00:40:25,259 --> 00:40:26,792
Yeah, I'm going to a pool party.

749
00:40:27,193 --> 00:40:29,326
Well, good thing
you've got that towel on now.

750
00:40:29,327 --> 00:40:31,828
Wouldn't wanna leave that 'til
when you actually get there.

751
00:40:31,829 --> 00:40:35,033
Enough of the sass, smarty pants.
What are you doing here?

752
00:40:35,434 --> 00:40:37,166
Tennis ended early.

753
00:40:37,167 --> 00:40:39,235
What's the bag for?

754
00:40:39,236 --> 00:40:40,837
Nothing.

755
00:40:40,838 --> 00:40:43,505
Come on, you can
do better than that.

756
00:40:43,506 --> 00:40:45,110
At least I'm wearing pants.

757
00:40:45,111 --> 00:40:46,943
Pants? You call those pants?

758
00:40:47,344 --> 00:40:48,845
They're shorts.

759
00:40:51,146 --> 00:40:53,985
All right, bye.
Don't call if you need me.

760
00:40:58,753 --> 00:41:01,756
Okay, you really have to act
like you're the father, okay?

761
00:41:02,092 --> 00:41:04,428
You're having baby, too.
It's serious.

762
00:41:04,429 --> 00:41:07,195
- Oh, come on.
- You have to appear to be responsible.

763
00:41:07,231 --> 00:41:10,165
Are you kidding me, babe?
I'm totally psyched. I'm serious.

764
00:41:10,366 --> 00:41:13,301
I thought about this. Everyone's
gonna think I'm a super-stud

765
00:41:13,302 --> 00:41:15,270
for knocking up a
hot chick like you.

766
00:41:15,271 --> 00:41:18,340
Okay, so, that's an example
of something you wouldn't say.

767
00:41:18,341 --> 00:41:21,809
Baby. Well, I think you're
beautiful even with your...

768
00:41:22,310 --> 00:41:23,317
Thank you.

769
00:41:29,619 --> 00:41:30,620
Hey.

770
00:41:31,221 --> 00:41:32,752
How are you?

771
00:41:32,753 --> 00:41:36,024
Nick, this is my fianc� Miles.
Miles, this is Nick.

772
00:41:36,025 --> 00:41:38,993
Congratulations.
You must be so excited.

773
00:41:38,994 --> 00:41:42,762
Oh, it's, I just can't wait for
the little guy to pop out.

774
00:41:42,763 --> 00:41:44,030
Oh, you're having a boy.

775
00:41:44,031 --> 00:41:45,133
Yeah.

776
00:41:45,134 --> 00:41:46,502
We... we just found out.

777
00:41:46,503 --> 00:41:48,068
And do you have a name yet?

778
00:41:48,069 --> 00:41:49,769
Now, see, I didn't think any...

779
00:41:49,770 --> 00:41:50,936
Hey.

780
00:41:50,937 --> 00:41:52,937
Garth, this is my fianc�, Miles.

781
00:41:52,938 --> 00:41:55,543
Miles, this is Garth.
He's an editor at the company.

782
00:41:55,544 --> 00:41:57,012
You're a lucky guy, huh?

783
00:41:57,013 --> 00:42:02,015
Yes, I am. But if I may say so, sir,
you look pretty lucky yourself there.

784
00:42:02,116 --> 00:42:04,216
I'm gonna go inside
and say hi to Susie.

785
00:42:04,217 --> 00:42:05,820
Oh, yeah, hold up, babe.

786
00:42:05,821 --> 00:42:08,322
I'm taking a dip.
It's blazing here. Babes.

787
00:42:08,323 --> 00:42:09,422
Yeah?

788
00:42:09,423 --> 00:42:10,724
Right there.

789
00:42:10,725 --> 00:42:12,259
Anybody care to join?

790
00:42:12,260 --> 00:42:13,424
I will. Let's go in.

791
00:42:13,425 --> 00:42:14,861
That's what I like to hear.

792
00:42:14,862 --> 00:42:16,463
I don't wanna get my chair wet.

793
00:42:16,464 --> 00:42:19,365
Listen, I have 2 friends
that I want you to meet.

794
00:42:19,366 --> 00:42:23,034
They're both writers and they're
actually looking for a new publisher,

795
00:42:23,035 --> 00:42:24,503
so I think they'll really like you.

796
00:42:24,504 --> 00:42:25,539
- Really?
- Yeah.

797
00:42:25,540 --> 00:42:27,406
You and Nick make such a good team.

798
00:42:27,407 --> 00:42:28,435
Thank you.

799
00:42:36,617 --> 00:42:40,184
Hey, guys. I want you
to meet Audrey Gold...

800
00:42:40,185 --> 00:42:43,988
and Dr. Terry Barnacle.
Terry wrote the Barnacle Baby Book,

801
00:42:43,989 --> 00:42:45,625
which is the bible.

802
00:42:45,626 --> 00:42:49,627
I won't even touch that. I don't wanna
be accused of having a God complex.

803
00:42:49,628 --> 00:42:52,430
And Audrey just finished
a book on single parenting...

804
00:42:52,431 --> 00:42:56,835
and I hear from reliable sources that
she's not very happy at Boyle Donner.

805
00:42:56,836 --> 00:42:58,770
Oh, well we would love
to meet with you guys.

806
00:42:58,771 --> 00:43:00,271
That sounds great.

807
00:43:01,740 --> 00:43:05,340
Yeah, Nick and Thea just started
a parenting division at Steinwald.

808
00:43:05,941 --> 00:43:07,978
You have the most unique shape.

809
00:43:07,979 --> 00:43:12,283
I mean if you don't mind me asking,
you don't have a distended uterus, do you?

810
00:43:14,484 --> 00:43:16,888
No, no, I... I don't think so.

811
00:43:17,289 --> 00:43:18,856
Well, who's your OB?

812
00:43:19,957 --> 00:43:23,492
Doctor... Throgen... Bary... Sinewitz.

813
00:43:23,793 --> 00:43:26,998
You mean Hans?
Throgan Barry Schonewitz?

814
00:43:27,399 --> 00:43:29,332
I thought he moved back to Vienna.

815
00:43:32,201 --> 00:43:35,837
My bad. I just, I was trying to,
totally going for her.

816
00:43:35,838 --> 00:43:37,341
Very funny, Miles.

817
00:43:37,342 --> 00:43:41,309
Hey. You should...
you should totally come in.

818
00:43:41,310 --> 00:43:43,311
We're having such a
good time in there.

819
00:43:43,312 --> 00:43:45,313
I don't feel like swimming right now.

820
00:43:45,314 --> 00:43:47,318
Come on. It's so nice in there.

821
00:43:47,319 --> 00:43:50,252
No one cares that you're fat.
Kids, tell her to come in.

822
00:43:50,253 --> 00:43:53,589
Come in. Come in. Come in.

823
00:43:53,590 --> 00:43:55,456
It's okay.

824
00:43:55,457 --> 00:43:57,760
You don't want to
disappoint the children.

825
00:43:58,861 --> 00:44:00,195
Shit.

826
00:44:02,898 --> 00:44:04,164
What is that?

827
00:44:09,504 --> 00:44:11,801
That's not cool.

828
00:44:18,014 --> 00:44:19,979
It was so humiliating.

829
00:44:19,980 --> 00:44:23,317
On the way home I told him to drop
me off and never speak to me again.

830
00:44:23,318 --> 00:44:26,722
Good. I always thought Miles
was a bit of a numb nut anyway.

831
00:44:26,723 --> 00:44:30,691
I'm just so embarrassed that
Nick thinks he's the father of my child.

832
00:44:30,692 --> 00:44:32,393
Who cares what Nick thinks?

833
00:44:32,794 --> 00:44:33,860
He's just the first person in years

834
00:44:33,861 --> 00:44:37,364
that thinks I'm capable of doing
more than just pouring coffee.

835
00:44:37,565 --> 00:44:39,867
What do you think he'll
say when he finds out

836
00:44:39,868 --> 00:44:44,071
your baby is a piece of polyurethane
foam we swiped off a mannequin?

837
00:44:44,772 --> 00:44:46,939
He's actually kinda cute though,
don't you think?

838
00:44:46,940 --> 00:44:48,274
Who?

839
00:44:48,575 --> 00:44:49,582
Nick.

840
00:44:50,543 --> 00:44:51,578
No.

841
00:44:52,979 --> 00:44:53,846
Cigarette?

842
00:44:53,847 --> 00:44:55,446
No, I probably shouldn't.

843
00:44:58,687 --> 00:44:59,689
Okay,

844
00:45:00,887 --> 00:45:02,289
to recap,

845
00:45:03,390 --> 00:45:06,458
only one of you would even
bother to look at the book.

846
00:45:06,859 --> 00:45:11,063
And... the rest of you wouldn't
buy it with a gun to your head...

847
00:45:11,064 --> 00:45:14,531
which can't be good for sales.

848
00:45:17,237 --> 00:45:20,372
Can any of you tell me why
the cover doesn't speak to you?

849
00:45:20,373 --> 00:45:24,742
Maybe comparing pregnancy
to a battle is putting you off.

850
00:45:24,743 --> 00:45:25,746
Yes.

851
00:45:26,177 --> 00:45:28,447
I can't stay for the
rest of the focus group.

852
00:45:28,448 --> 00:45:30,449
Can I still get my check?

853
00:45:31,150 --> 00:45:32,975
Just stop by reception.

854
00:45:38,725 --> 00:45:41,885
Okay. One down.

855
00:45:43,829 --> 00:45:46,663
Maybe we should forget what's
on the cover for a second.

856
00:45:46,664 --> 00:45:49,334
What makes this book great
is that it's a collection

857
00:45:49,335 --> 00:45:53,002
of real stories for real women talking
about how it feels to be pregnant.

858
00:45:53,003 --> 00:45:56,335
So let's talk about some
of us feel right now.

859
00:45:56,741 --> 00:45:58,176
I feel like crap.

860
00:45:58,177 --> 00:46:01,310
That's good. I mean, that's bad.
But keep going.

861
00:46:01,311 --> 00:46:05,346
How come no one talks about
how much pregnancy sucks!

862
00:46:05,347 --> 00:46:07,583
There's no glow in my house.

863
00:46:07,584 --> 00:46:10,620
Okay, so what I'm hearing is
that you're all so over it.

864
00:46:10,621 --> 00:46:12,422
Yeah.

865
00:46:12,423 --> 00:46:15,225
Hello, I'm Orca the Whale.
Like, what's up with that?

866
00:46:15,226 --> 00:46:17,392
I know, they're not
even bloated at all.

867
00:46:17,393 --> 00:46:20,624
<i>Thea, your sister's at reception.</i>

868
00:46:24,468 --> 00:46:26,434
Hey, what are you doing here?

869
00:46:26,835 --> 00:46:30,305
You forgot to sign the release for my
trip to Lake Arrowhead. It's due today.

870
00:46:32,406 --> 00:46:34,843
Thea, aren't you going to
introduce me to your sister?

871
00:46:35,644 --> 00:46:37,277
Nick, Emma.
Emma, Nick.

872
00:46:37,278 --> 00:46:40,145
She's in a real rush.
She has to go.

873
00:46:40,650 --> 00:46:42,219
Okay, well, this has been fun.

874
00:46:43,150 --> 00:46:44,219
It's been fun.

875
00:46:45,320 --> 00:46:46,554
What is that?

876
00:46:46,555 --> 00:46:48,524
Just because you don't like my dress
doesn't mean you have to be rude.

877
00:46:48,825 --> 00:46:49,826
Keep moving. I'll tell you outside.

878
00:46:50,060 --> 00:46:51,694
What is wrong with you?

879
00:46:52,205 --> 00:46:54,709
Look, I know. I'm a big fat liar,
but Jerry was gonna fire me

880
00:46:54,770 --> 00:46:56,775
and I had to come up with something.

881
00:46:59,202 --> 00:47:01,803
You are one sandwich shy
of a picnic, you know that?

882
00:47:01,804 --> 00:47:04,070
You're crazy. What
are you thinking?

883
00:47:04,071 --> 00:47:07,840
You might be interested to know
that I got a promotion and a raise.

884
00:47:07,841 --> 00:47:10,512
I can't believe we're actually related.

885
00:47:10,513 --> 00:47:12,380
As soon as I can
I'm gonna come clean.

886
00:47:12,381 --> 00:47:15,482
Things are complicated.
The company depends on me.

887
00:47:15,483 --> 00:47:19,719
I have heard enough.
I am out of here.

888
00:47:27,928 --> 00:47:29,063
Morning, Thea.

889
00:47:29,064 --> 00:47:30,698
Last month's and this month's.

890
00:47:30,699 --> 00:47:33,255
Wow, early. That's a first.

891
00:47:34,534 --> 00:47:36,269
I've got something for you.

892
00:47:36,270 --> 00:47:38,137
Oh, you made these?

893
00:47:38,138 --> 00:47:39,473
Yes.

894
00:47:39,474 --> 00:47:42,640
I went with marigold
because it's neutral.

895
00:47:42,641 --> 00:47:45,302
Thank you.

896
00:47:47,412 --> 00:47:48,680
Hey.

897
00:47:48,681 --> 00:47:51,916
Hey. Okay, not that
you're interested,

898
00:47:51,917 --> 00:47:54,986
but the word is that Nick's
divorce is finalized this week.

899
00:47:54,987 --> 00:47:56,254
Garth told me.

900
00:47:56,255 --> 00:47:57,922
Garth told you?

901
00:47:57,923 --> 00:48:00,594
I've been hanging out
with him, Miss Busy.

902
00:48:00,595 --> 00:48:03,929
I took the liberty of picking you up
a calcium-enriched smoothie

903
00:48:03,930 --> 00:48:07,397
and a bran muffin. I figured you
might be getting a little backed up.

904
00:48:07,398 --> 00:48:08,464
Thanks, Greg.

905
00:48:08,465 --> 00:48:10,635
You're welcome.
Excuse me.

906
00:48:10,636 --> 00:48:13,204
Greg's worried about
you being backed up?

907
00:48:13,205 --> 00:48:16,074
Constipation is a common
problem for pregnant women.

908
00:48:18,275 --> 00:48:21,946
Well... lucky for you.
You're not actually pregnant.

909
00:48:21,947 --> 00:48:23,947
Or do you even
know that anymore?

910
00:48:23,948 --> 00:48:25,849
Of course I know that.
Obviously.

911
00:48:25,850 --> 00:48:27,850
Hi.

912
00:48:27,851 --> 00:48:29,151
- Hi.
- Sorry to interrupt.

913
00:48:29,152 --> 00:48:33,388
I wanted to get you a little something,
I ordered it off of eBay.

914
00:48:34,259 --> 00:48:37,226
It's an armadillo foot for,
for when you're in labor.

915
00:48:37,227 --> 00:48:39,528
It, it wards off the evil eye.

916
00:48:39,529 --> 00:48:42,000
Thank you so much, Carl.
That's so sweet of you.

917
00:48:42,001 --> 00:48:44,568
I'll keep it with me
the whole time.

918
00:48:44,569 --> 00:48:48,937
Oh-kay. I know I told you to go
along with this for a few weeks,

919
00:48:48,938 --> 00:48:50,574
but you're starting
to freak me out.

920
00:48:50,575 --> 00:48:52,543
Look, things are going
really well for me.

921
00:48:52,544 --> 00:48:56,178
Well, it's not because of the stomach.
You're doing good work.

922
00:48:56,379 --> 00:48:58,145
The only thing you're doing bad
is walking around

923
00:48:58,146 --> 00:49:00,183
with a load of bullshit
strapped to your stomach.

924
00:49:00,184 --> 00:49:01,251
Nick. Nick.

925
00:49:01,552 --> 00:49:02,851
Nick. Nick.

926
00:49:03,652 --> 00:49:04,660
What's up?

927
00:49:04,721 --> 00:49:06,355
You're not gonna believe
who left me a voicemail.

928
00:49:06,456 --> 00:49:09,356
Drum roll, please.
An Associate producer from the Vista.

929
00:49:09,357 --> 00:49:10,560
No way.

930
00:49:10,561 --> 00:49:12,029
She read the book, loves it,

931
00:49:12,030 --> 00:49:14,129
with Claire's approval, we'll be In.

932
00:49:14,130 --> 00:49:16,197
That would be the
greatest thing ever.

933
00:49:20,535 --> 00:49:22,838
Sorry. I'm a bit of a closet hugger.

934
00:49:22,839 --> 00:49:24,871
- It won't happen again.
- That's okay.

935
00:49:25,141 --> 00:49:27,808
<i>Nick, I got Jerry for you.</i>

936
00:49:28,809 --> 00:49:30,210
Put him through.

937
00:49:30,211 --> 00:49:32,180
How you holding down
the fort, Nicky?

938
00:49:32,181 --> 00:49:34,348
Good, Everything's going great.

939
00:49:34,349 --> 00:49:35,983
<i>Working on a little project.</i>

940
00:49:35,984 --> 00:49:38,284
You haven't done
anything stupid, have you?

941
00:49:38,285 --> 00:49:39,686
<i>No, of course not.</i>

942
00:49:40,887 --> 00:49:42,691
You're doing great, sweetie.

943
00:49:44,359 --> 00:49:48,661
Do me a favor, Nick. No little projects.
Don't do anything.

944
00:49:49,062 --> 00:49:51,003
<i>Don't touch anything.</i>

945
00:49:51,162 --> 00:49:53,433
If you need a project, try match.com.

946
00:49:53,434 --> 00:49:55,903
It's been awhile since
you've seen any action.

947
00:49:55,904 --> 00:49:59,393
Okay, Jerry. I'll talk to you later.
Thank you.

948
00:50:00,139 --> 00:50:01,875
It really hasn't been that long.

949
00:50:01,876 --> 00:50:03,576
I'm, I'm sure.

950
00:50:03,577 --> 00:50:06,646
Okay. I got a lotta work to do.
So, I'm gonna go do it.

951
00:50:06,647 --> 00:50:09,348
Okay. Bye.

952
00:50:14,487 --> 00:50:16,421
So the book comes out in 3 weeks.

953
00:50:16,422 --> 00:50:20,049
That, that gives us
plenty of time for publicity.

954
00:50:25,132 --> 00:50:26,999
I hope you don't mind.

955
00:50:27,000 --> 00:50:30,433
I just couldn't take it anymore.

956
00:50:35,342 --> 00:50:36,742
I can see!

957
00:50:38,578 --> 00:50:41,413
God. I don't know if you know
this, but you're pregnant.

958
00:50:41,414 --> 00:50:44,681
your sense of humor really
takes a dive after 9 o'clock?

959
00:50:44,682 --> 00:50:46,117
Is it after 9?

960
00:50:46,118 --> 00:50:46,921
Yeah.

961
00:50:46,952 --> 00:50:50,020
Oh, my God, I'm slave-driving
a pregnant woman.

962
00:50:50,021 --> 00:50:52,023
No, not at all,
I wanna be here.

963
00:50:52,224 --> 00:50:54,758
I do, I feel I'm making up
for lost time.

964
00:50:54,759 --> 00:50:57,460
And I'm really grateful
you've given me this shot.

965
00:50:57,461 --> 00:50:59,563
So, thanks.

966
00:50:59,564 --> 00:51:01,862
It's my pleasure.

967
00:51:05,970 --> 00:51:08,038
You should be at home
with your fianc�.

968
00:51:08,039 --> 00:51:11,337
Right. My fianc�.

969
00:51:14,645 --> 00:51:16,513
I'm taking you home.

970
00:51:16,814 --> 00:51:20,749
But... I promise to have
ridiculously high expectations

971
00:51:20,750 --> 00:51:21,951
of you in the morning.

972
00:51:23,020 --> 00:51:24,521
Thank you.

973
00:51:24,522 --> 00:51:26,823
Well, here, no, no.

974
00:51:26,824 --> 00:51:28,258
Okay.

975
00:52:16,239 --> 00:52:17,338
Is this your first?

976
00:52:17,339 --> 00:52:19,941
Yeah. I can't wait.
And you?

977
00:52:19,942 --> 00:52:22,066
It's mine, too.

978
00:52:23,345 --> 00:52:25,868
Would you sign this, please?

979
00:52:31,051 --> 00:52:32,651
Oh, that's amazing.

980
00:52:32,652 --> 00:52:36,288
What about
Thea? Thea?

981
00:52:36,289 --> 00:52:37,957
Absolutely, you.

982
00:52:37,958 --> 00:52:39,091
No, no, no.

983
00:52:39,092 --> 00:52:41,427
Yes.

984
00:52:41,428 --> 00:52:43,197
No, I stay behind the camera.

985
00:52:43,198 --> 00:52:45,132
You, over here right now.

986
00:52:45,133 --> 00:52:47,997
Come on, give it a shot.

987
00:52:49,336 --> 00:52:50,469
Oh, yeah.

988
00:52:50,470 --> 00:52:51,636
Work it.

989
00:52:51,637 --> 00:52:52,805
Nick.

990
00:52:52,806 --> 00:52:54,674
Make love to the...

991
00:52:54,675 --> 00:52:58,404
Sorry. I know you don't
actually say that. I'm sorry.

992
00:53:01,213 --> 00:53:03,883
Thanks for coming here with me.
I had such a craving.

993
00:53:03,884 --> 00:53:05,951
Are you kidding me?
I love mud slide pie.

994
00:53:05,952 --> 00:53:08,420
I think we could use a
little more whipped cream.

995
00:53:08,421 --> 00:53:10,523
Oh, did I tell you we
signed Barnacle?

996
00:53:10,524 --> 00:53:12,288
Thanks for hooking
us up with him.

997
00:53:12,289 --> 00:53:15,026
My pleasure. I may
have some good news.

998
00:53:15,027 --> 00:53:18,363
I may have gotten us 2 spots
in Sunshine Daycare.

999
00:53:18,364 --> 00:53:21,564
Great. Thanks. I haven't
even thought about daycare.

1000
00:53:21,565 --> 00:53:24,403
I don't know how you do it,
with your kid, your pregnancy

1001
00:53:24,404 --> 00:53:27,539
and your job. I can't even take
care of my little sister, Emma.

1002
00:53:27,540 --> 00:53:29,774
I wish my mother left
me user instructions.

1003
00:53:29,775 --> 00:53:32,209
Well, there are no
hard and fast rules.

1004
00:53:32,210 --> 00:53:34,013
You just have to go
with your gut.

1005
00:53:34,014 --> 00:53:37,247
Yeah, well I certainly have no
shortage of gut at the moment.

1006
00:53:37,248 --> 00:53:40,883
Well, when all else fails,
sugar and shopping.

1007
00:53:40,884 --> 00:53:43,875
Very persuasive.

1008
00:53:56,460 --> 00:53:57,768
- Hi.
- Hi...

1009
00:53:57,769 --> 00:53:59,035
is Emma here?

1010
00:53:59,036 --> 00:54:02,270
Oh, hi, Emma.
Can you babysit tomorrow night?

1011
00:54:02,271 --> 00:54:04,274
Oh, I can't, Donna. Sorry.

1012
00:54:04,275 --> 00:54:06,676
I have to study
with my friend Chloe.

1013
00:54:07,677 --> 00:54:09,645
I can do it.

1014
00:54:09,646 --> 00:54:11,414
You know, good practice.

1015
00:54:11,415 --> 00:54:14,785
That's right. Oh, God.
Thea, you are the best.

1016
00:54:14,786 --> 00:54:16,360
- Tomorrow night at 8?
- Yeah.

1017
00:54:16,361 --> 00:54:19,013
- Great. Bye.
- Bye.

1018
00:54:21,891 --> 00:54:25,695
I don't even know who you are right now,
but you're definitely not the best.

1019
00:54:25,696 --> 00:54:29,730
Do you wanna make cupcakes and then
maybe go shopping at Forever 21?

1020
00:54:29,731 --> 00:54:34,670
No. Actually I'd rather scrub
myself down with a pineapple

1021
00:54:34,671 --> 00:54:37,399
than do that.

1022
00:54:38,808 --> 00:54:40,842
I don't know what to do.

1023
00:54:40,843 --> 00:54:46,649
This was Dan's idea. He was all, like,
let's have a baby. It'll be so cute.

1024
00:54:46,650 --> 00:54:49,017
You know? I was, like really?

1025
00:54:49,018 --> 00:54:53,086
Really? Let's strap 50 pounds
of cement to your torso...

1026
00:54:53,087 --> 00:54:56,590
and see how fun it is then.
You know, I just...

1027
00:54:56,591 --> 00:54:59,760
Yeah. I know. I understand.

1028
00:54:59,761 --> 00:55:02,628
I just need a drink.
Or some weed.

1029
00:55:02,629 --> 00:55:04,363
I know it's scary.

1030
00:55:04,364 --> 00:55:08,668
I mean, the fact that we're gonna
have these tiny fragile humans

1031
00:55:08,669 --> 00:55:12,072
totally dependent on us.
It's kind of freaking me out, too.

1032
00:55:12,073 --> 00:55:13,406
Really?

1033
00:55:13,407 --> 00:55:14,774
Yeah.

1034
00:55:14,775 --> 00:55:17,178
'Cause, Thea, you just,
you seem so together.

1035
00:55:17,179 --> 00:55:18,711
Oh, hi.

1036
00:55:18,712 --> 00:55:20,179
We need to talk.

1037
00:55:20,180 --> 00:55:21,947
What happened?

1038
00:55:21,948 --> 00:55:24,813
Okay, thanks for listening.

1039
00:55:30,290 --> 00:55:31,524
I...

1040
00:55:32,325 --> 00:55:34,692
I kinda got into an
altercation with Miles.

1041
00:55:34,693 --> 00:55:36,229
What're you talking about?

1042
00:55:36,230 --> 00:55:38,898
He was kissing another woman.
So I confronted him.

1043
00:55:38,899 --> 00:55:42,134
And he told me... he told me
he's not the father.

1044
00:55:42,135 --> 00:55:43,597
So I punched him.

1045
00:55:43,598 --> 00:55:45,001
- You what?
- I punched him.

1046
00:55:45,002 --> 00:55:47,507
I couldn't help it... just...
it came over me.

1047
00:55:48,007 --> 00:55:50,876
You deserve better than that,
Thea, a... a lot better.

1048
00:55:50,877 --> 00:55:54,178
Nick, Miles is not the father.

1049
00:55:54,179 --> 00:55:56,049
He's not even my boyfriend...
anymore.

1050
00:55:56,050 --> 00:55:58,382
The truth is, there is no father.

1051
00:55:58,383 --> 00:56:02,254
I mean, there is but it was a one-night
stand and he's outta the picture now.

1052
00:56:02,255 --> 00:56:07,359
Thea, there is nothing wrong
with being a single mother.

1053
00:56:07,360 --> 00:56:08,591
Okay.

1054
00:56:10,294 --> 00:56:12,997
The printer has a question about
the binding. He's on line 1.

1055
00:56:12,998 --> 00:56:15,796
Okay.

1056
00:56:18,836 --> 00:56:21,104
What was that about?
He looks like a maniac.

1057
00:56:21,105 --> 00:56:22,639
I just told Nick the truth.

1058
00:56:22,640 --> 00:56:24,441
- How'd he take it?
- Okay...

1059
00:56:24,442 --> 00:56:27,279
He doesn't think
I should be with Miles anyway.

1060
00:56:27,280 --> 00:56:29,680
Yeah, but what did he
say about the pregnancy?

1061
00:56:29,681 --> 00:56:32,049
He didn't say anything
about the pregnancy.

1062
00:56:32,050 --> 00:56:33,716
What's there to say?

1063
00:56:33,717 --> 00:56:36,886
Thea. We should talk. Do you
want to get a beer after work?

1064
00:56:36,887 --> 00:56:40,822
A beer? You know I can't drink.

1065
00:56:45,027 --> 00:56:47,063
Is your stomach growing?

1066
00:56:47,064 --> 00:56:49,997
Well, I'm nearly 6 months now.

1067
00:56:55,337 --> 00:56:56,673
Hi, how are you?

1068
00:56:56,674 --> 00:56:59,799
Where's my sister, Emma?

1069
00:57:00,643 --> 00:57:03,311
Hey.

1070
00:57:03,312 --> 00:57:05,213
How was practice?

1071
00:57:05,214 --> 00:57:07,117
Fine. Same as usual.

1072
00:57:07,118 --> 00:57:11,953
Really? That's funny because Coach
Henrietta told me you quit a month ago.

1073
00:57:11,954 --> 00:57:15,922
I found this in your backpack,
you've got some explaining to do.

1074
00:57:15,923 --> 00:57:18,528
That's dried cilantro.

1075
00:57:18,529 --> 00:57:19,661
Yeah, right.

1076
00:57:19,662 --> 00:57:22,253
Smell it.

1077
00:57:24,131 --> 00:57:26,432
Okay, maybe it is.
But where were you today?

1078
00:57:26,433 --> 00:57:29,369
At Jake's, waiting tables.

1079
00:57:29,370 --> 00:57:31,738
You've been lying for weeks.

1080
00:57:31,739 --> 00:57:34,228
Hey, I learn from the best.

1081
00:57:39,781 --> 00:57:43,351
Hey... your boss is here.

1082
00:57:43,352 --> 00:57:44,785
- What?
- Yeah...

1083
00:57:44,786 --> 00:57:47,156
maybe he wants to make
cupcakes with you.

1084
00:57:47,457 --> 00:57:49,357
Can you get my stomach?
It's in my room.

1085
00:57:49,358 --> 00:57:53,926
Yeah. But...
it'll cost you... 25 bucks.

1086
00:57:53,927 --> 00:57:56,760
- 15!
- Sold.

1087
00:57:56,930 --> 00:57:59,765
She'll be right with you.
She's just getting dressed.

1088
00:57:59,766 --> 00:58:01,755
Okay, thanks.

1089
00:58:06,704 --> 00:58:10,443
Does it make you feel weird knowing
she's naked only, like, 10 feet away.

1090
00:58:12,045 --> 00:58:13,647
Coming.

1091
00:58:13,648 --> 00:58:14,779
Stomach.

1092
00:58:14,780 --> 00:58:16,079
No. Pay me.

1093
00:58:16,080 --> 00:58:18,150
I'll pay you after.
Give me the stomach.

1094
00:58:18,151 --> 00:58:22,450
A promise from Thea? I can't take
that to the bank. Just pay me know.

1095
00:58:25,890 --> 00:58:28,961
Thank you.
Here's your fake belly.

1096
00:58:28,962 --> 00:58:30,928
Shut up. Get out.

1097
00:58:32,465 --> 00:58:33,598
Hello.

1098
00:58:33,599 --> 00:58:34,833
Hey.

1099
00:58:34,834 --> 00:58:36,800
Okay.

1100
00:58:36,801 --> 00:58:38,204
Hey.

1101
00:58:38,605 --> 00:58:40,804
I... I just, I thought I'd stop by...

1102
00:58:40,805 --> 00:58:43,806
I wanted to show you something.

1103
00:58:43,807 --> 00:58:48,313
It's our very first complete copy of
the book with cover and everything.

1104
00:58:48,314 --> 00:58:52,050
That's, that's great!
And I'm on the cover.

1105
00:58:52,351 --> 00:58:55,551
And we booked... Tynan's
bookstore for the book launch.

1106
00:58:55,552 --> 00:58:56,919
That's awesome.

1107
00:58:56,920 --> 00:58:59,158
Well, I should probably
get outta here...

1108
00:58:59,159 --> 00:59:01,092
and let you enjoy your Saturday.

1109
00:59:01,093 --> 00:59:03,861
Well... if you're free then
do you wanna get coffee?

1110
00:59:03,862 --> 00:59:06,122
Sure.

1111
00:59:08,366 --> 00:59:12,702
I had a dog once. Then Jerry stole it,
took it to college with him.

1112
00:59:14,671 --> 00:59:17,672
There's something amazing
about having a child.

1113
00:59:19,473 --> 00:59:23,078
It makes you feel like a
part of something bigger,

1114
00:59:23,079 --> 00:59:28,678
you know, even if it's not real.
Well, for me, that is.

1115
00:59:29,522 --> 00:59:33,588
Lydia didn't want children.
And I never questioned it.

1116
00:59:34,309 --> 00:59:35,890
But now I,

1117
00:59:37,301 --> 00:59:42,853
I realize, I...
I do wanna be a father.

1118
01:00:01,516 --> 01:00:05,120
I've been wanting to do
that for a really long time.

1119
01:00:05,121 --> 01:00:07,487
Actually, I just,
just did that.

1120
01:00:07,488 --> 01:00:09,190
Right.

1121
01:00:09,191 --> 01:00:11,992
We should probably take
things slowly though.

1122
01:00:11,993 --> 01:00:13,527
Absolutely.

1123
01:00:13,528 --> 01:00:16,257
Yeah.

1124
01:00:28,074 --> 01:00:30,477
I have to... I just realized...

1125
01:00:30,478 --> 01:00:32,111
I have to go.

1126
01:00:32,112 --> 01:00:34,680
There's somewhere...
I have to go somewhere.

1127
01:00:34,681 --> 01:00:35,914
Sure. Okay.

1128
01:00:35,915 --> 01:00:37,849
My sister...
I'll talk to you later.

1129
01:00:37,850 --> 01:00:39,253
Okay.

1130
01:00:56,235 --> 01:00:58,569
Yes, she's due the 6th of October.

1131
01:00:58,570 --> 01:01:01,240
Alright. Okay.

1132
01:01:01,241 --> 01:01:04,542
That was your friend, Rachel.
And these are for you.

1133
01:01:04,543 --> 01:01:06,511
She saw the book at Crown Books.

1134
01:01:06,512 --> 01:01:08,946
How come you didn't
tell her you were pregnant?

1135
01:01:08,947 --> 01:01:11,483
I thought I told her.
It must have slipped my mind.

1136
01:01:11,484 --> 01:01:13,149
Pregnancy brain.

1137
01:01:13,150 --> 01:01:16,320
I was planning on waiting a
little longer to start a family.

1138
01:01:16,321 --> 01:01:18,623
Sow my wild oats a little bit.

1139
01:01:18,624 --> 01:01:21,793
But, I feel like there is
a larger purpose for me.

1140
01:01:21,794 --> 01:01:27,031
Thea, you need someone who
is smart and responsible.

1141
01:01:27,032 --> 01:01:28,632
Oh, God.

1142
01:01:28,633 --> 01:01:32,237
I offer myself to you, mind
and body, heart and soul.

1143
01:01:32,238 --> 01:01:34,772
Let me be your baby daddy.

1144
01:01:35,973 --> 01:01:38,506
That's very generous of you.

1145
01:01:38,507 --> 01:01:42,811
But it's, you know...
that's not gonna ha...

1146
01:01:42,812 --> 01:01:45,649
Don't worry about it.
It's a tough decision.

1147
01:01:45,650 --> 01:01:47,616
Thea, can I talk to you?

1148
01:01:47,617 --> 01:01:49,150
Yeah, sure, yes.

1149
01:01:49,151 --> 01:01:50,488
Yes, absolutely.

1150
01:01:50,489 --> 01:01:52,423
If you could let me know before lunch.

1151
01:01:52,424 --> 01:01:54,357
I have a date I'd have to cancel.

1152
01:01:54,358 --> 01:01:58,724
I don't want to do that if I don't
have to. She's a little older...

1153
01:01:59,929 --> 01:02:01,499
So you're ready for tonight?

1154
01:02:01,500 --> 01:02:03,565
Yeah. Totally.

1155
01:02:03,566 --> 01:02:06,760
We should clear the air.

1156
01:02:09,304 --> 01:02:11,908
I've been thinking a lot
about what happened.

1157
01:02:11,909 --> 01:02:14,143
And I feel terrible about it.

1158
01:02:14,144 --> 01:02:15,810
You do?

1159
01:02:15,811 --> 01:02:19,546
I'm your boss and I made...
I made a pass at you.

1160
01:02:19,547 --> 01:02:21,918
Nick, that's not it.
I made a pass at you.

1161
01:02:21,919 --> 01:02:24,186
I caught that pass
and I threw it back.

1162
01:02:24,187 --> 01:02:25,286
And I liked it.

1163
01:02:25,287 --> 01:02:26,689
You did?

1164
01:02:26,690 --> 01:02:29,485
Look, that's not what it is,

1165
01:02:31,428 --> 01:02:33,294
I'm just afraid of...

1166
01:02:33,295 --> 01:02:36,664
There's a guy, Philip, at reception.
He says he's the father?

1167
01:02:36,665 --> 01:02:38,331
Do want me to talk to this guy?

1168
01:02:38,332 --> 01:02:40,200
No, no, no. It's okay.

1169
01:02:40,201 --> 01:02:41,537
I'll talk to him.

1170
01:02:41,538 --> 01:02:43,937
It's okay.
Thank you both. Excuse me.

1171
01:02:43,938 --> 01:02:46,773
Young man, don't you have
any sense of responsibility?

1172
01:02:46,774 --> 01:02:49,676
I didn't even know, lady.
She never returned my calls.

1173
01:02:49,677 --> 01:02:52,346
Christ, is it mine, Thea?

1174
01:02:52,347 --> 01:02:53,813
Believe me, it's not yours.

1175
01:02:53,814 --> 01:02:56,048
You can't be sure.
I did the math.

1176
01:02:56,049 --> 01:02:57,450
Believe me. I can be sure.

1177
01:02:57,451 --> 01:02:59,217
I demand a DNA test, I...

1178
01:02:59,218 --> 01:03:00,352
Yeah. I'll be happy to tell her.

1179
01:03:00,353 --> 01:03:01,822
Bye.

1180
01:03:01,823 --> 01:03:03,690
Your sister needs you
at home right away.

1181
01:03:03,691 --> 01:03:05,358
Something about a fire in the toilet?

1182
01:03:05,359 --> 01:03:08,428
Your toilet's on fire?
Isn't that technically impossible?

1183
01:03:08,429 --> 01:03:09,895
Who's Philip?

1184
01:03:09,896 --> 01:03:13,000
An old, old boyfriend.
Big misunderstanding.

1185
01:03:13,001 --> 01:03:14,334
Everything okay?

1186
01:03:14,335 --> 01:03:17,003
Yeah. Everything's okay.
No worries here.

1187
01:03:17,004 --> 01:03:21,004
Completely under control. But, I...
I should probably get home to my sister.

1188
01:03:21,005 --> 01:03:24,497
I'll meet you at the party.
Sorry.

1189
01:03:37,623 --> 01:03:39,257
Surprise!

1190
01:03:39,258 --> 01:03:41,495
Surprise

1191
01:03:42,597 --> 01:03:44,162
Hi, everyone.

1192
01:03:44,163 --> 01:03:45,897
Oh my God, Aunt Betty!

1193
01:03:45,898 --> 01:03:48,599
Surprise, darling'.
Darling'.

1194
01:03:48,600 --> 01:03:51,468
It's so good to see you.

1195
01:03:51,469 --> 01:03:54,539
Aunt Jane and I just
drove in from Seattle.

1196
01:03:54,540 --> 01:03:57,775
Oh, Aunt, thank you,
it's so sweet of you to do this.

1197
01:03:57,776 --> 01:04:01,266
Thank you.

1198
01:04:04,650 --> 01:04:06,350
It's a onesies.
Just what I needed.

1199
01:04:06,351 --> 01:04:07,951
We all decorated them.

1200
01:04:07,952 --> 01:04:10,815
Who made this one?

1201
01:04:13,091 --> 01:04:14,191
And this one?

1202
01:04:15,794 --> 01:04:17,628
What a good job, Sam!

1203
01:04:20,864 --> 01:04:22,667
That one's mine.

1204
01:04:22,668 --> 01:04:24,268
I just thought

1205
01:04:24,269 --> 01:04:26,803
it was a little ironic.

1206
01:04:26,804 --> 01:04:30,473
More people are coming.
- Hi.

1207
01:04:33,279 --> 01:04:36,912
Hey, well, I hate to break up the party,
but... we need to talk.

1208
01:04:36,913 --> 01:04:38,914
Everybody hang onto your seats

1209
01:04:38,915 --> 01:04:41,216
just in case something
happens to her story.

1210
01:04:41,717 --> 01:04:44,187
No, I should get changed.
I need to be at a work event.

1211
01:04:44,188 --> 01:04:46,454
So thank you
for the shower, everyone.

1212
01:04:46,455 --> 01:04:48,323
Thank you.

1213
01:04:48,324 --> 01:04:50,620
Bye.

1214
01:04:52,830 --> 01:04:56,766
She is so out of control.
Look. She has stockpiled

1215
01:04:56,767 --> 01:05:00,968
all of this random stuff in her closet.
I mean, what is this? Seriously.

1216
01:05:00,969 --> 01:05:02,704
It was on sale.

1217
01:05:02,705 --> 01:05:06,441
Okay. I need you to say,
My name is Thea and I'm not pregnant.

1218
01:05:06,442 --> 01:05:09,144
This is ridiculous.
And I've gotta go.

1219
01:05:09,145 --> 01:05:11,269
Come here.

1220
01:05:12,313 --> 01:05:15,680
You have got to come clean.

1221
01:05:16,284 --> 01:05:20,787
I will. Okay?
I promise. Just not yet.

1222
01:05:20,788 --> 01:05:24,593
It's just I'm better pregnant.
For once, my life doesn't suck.

1223
01:05:24,594 --> 01:05:28,495
And I can't go back to being
Jerry's secretary or unemployed.

1224
01:05:28,496 --> 01:05:31,998
What are you gonna do?
Stay pregnant for the rest of your life?

1225
01:05:31,999 --> 01:05:35,536
People will get suspicious.

1226
01:05:35,537 --> 01:05:37,938
It's time to act like a grown-up
and stop playing dress-up.

1227
01:05:37,939 --> 01:05:41,273
Oh, my God, this is ridiculous.
Take off the stomach now!

1228
01:05:41,274 --> 01:05:42,507
No.

1229
01:05:42,508 --> 01:05:44,312
Then I'm gonna
take it off for you.

1230
01:05:44,313 --> 01:05:45,579
Get off of me!

1231
01:05:45,580 --> 01:05:46,814
Let me take it off!

1232
01:05:46,815 --> 01:05:48,081
Get off of me.

1233
01:05:48,082 --> 01:05:51,616
Oh, hey! Hey, guys!
Emma, stop it!

1234
01:05:51,617 --> 01:05:53,253
Stop it...

1235
01:05:53,254 --> 01:05:54,587
Let me take it off

1236
01:05:54,588 --> 01:05:56,088
They making noise.

1237
01:05:56,089 --> 01:05:57,389
They are making noise.

1238
01:05:57,390 --> 01:05:58,657
Hey! Stop it!

1239
01:05:58,658 --> 01:05:59,858
Take that thing off.

1240
01:05:59,859 --> 01:06:02,493
I said stop. Gosh.

1241
01:06:02,494 --> 01:06:04,832
Come on.

1242
01:06:04,833 --> 01:06:06,064
Stay back!

1243
01:06:06,065 --> 01:06:07,666
I'll get that
thing off of you.

1244
01:06:07,667 --> 01:06:08,867
Get off of me!

1245
01:06:08,868 --> 01:06:10,637
I'm gonna take
that thing off now!

1246
01:06:10,638 --> 01:06:11,737
Give it back!

1247
01:06:13,106 --> 01:06:14,742
What are you doing?

1248
01:06:17,276 --> 01:06:19,176
You are so grounded!

1249
01:06:19,177 --> 01:06:21,438
Forever!

1250
01:06:26,585 --> 01:06:28,419
Ladies.

1251
01:06:28,420 --> 01:06:30,421
I think we need to re-group.

1252
01:06:30,422 --> 01:06:33,355
Stark raving mad.

1253
01:06:38,563 --> 01:06:39,698
Excuse me.

1254
01:06:42,300 --> 01:06:45,462
What are you doing?

1255
01:06:50,442 --> 01:06:52,374
I thought she was pregnant.

1256
01:06:55,614 --> 01:06:58,478
I'm really confused.

1257
01:07:08,091 --> 01:07:12,994
Well, that is the last time
I throw a surprise party for anyone.

1258
01:07:12,995 --> 01:07:15,131
That baked ziti
goes home with me.

1259
01:07:21,438 --> 01:07:23,905
Sorry. I had to take care
of things with Em.

1260
01:07:23,906 --> 01:07:25,475
The toilet fire?

1261
01:07:25,476 --> 01:07:27,377
Yeah, I got the blaze under control.

1262
01:07:27,378 --> 01:07:29,482
You guys are amazing.
This is a great turnout.

1263
01:07:29,483 --> 01:07:30,512
Thank you.

1264
01:07:30,513 --> 01:07:32,279
Okay.

1265
01:07:32,280 --> 01:07:37,118
Time to struggle with public speaking.
Sit back and enjoy.

1266
01:07:37,119 --> 01:07:38,553
You're gonna be great.

1267
01:07:38,554 --> 01:07:39,654
Thanks.

1268
01:07:43,257 --> 01:07:45,828
What was that?
Are you guys...

1269
01:07:45,829 --> 01:07:48,395
I don't know. Maybe. Kinda.

1270
01:07:48,396 --> 01:07:49,930
Hey. Good.

1271
01:07:49,931 --> 01:07:54,035
Good evening, everyone.
I'm back!

1272
01:07:54,036 --> 01:07:56,572
MacArthur finished
rehab a week early.

1273
01:07:56,573 --> 01:08:00,273
What's the matter, Nicky?
You don't look happy to see me.

1274
01:08:00,274 --> 01:08:03,209
Of course I am, Jerry.
Welcome back.

1275
01:08:03,210 --> 01:08:05,446
You're just in time
for Susie's reading.

1276
01:08:05,447 --> 01:08:07,181
I got a little surprise for you.

1277
01:08:07,182 --> 01:08:10,283
I just signed Rumsfeld
for his first book deal!

1278
01:08:10,284 --> 01:08:11,718
Donald?

1279
01:08:11,719 --> 01:08:13,919
No, Carlos.
Of course, Donald.

1280
01:08:13,920 --> 01:08:15,989
I met him at the rehab facility.

1281
01:08:15,990 --> 01:08:18,058
His cat had a terrible
case of sciatica.

1282
01:08:18,059 --> 01:08:20,662
They had to put the poor thing
on oxycontin. She got addicted.

1283
01:08:20,663 --> 01:08:21,862
It was a mess.

1284
01:08:21,863 --> 01:08:23,661
I'm in the middle of something.

1285
01:08:23,662 --> 01:08:26,565
Rummy's book is genius.
It's gonna put us back on the map.

1286
01:08:26,566 --> 01:08:29,269
It's a completely unique
opus about his time in Iraq

1287
01:08:29,270 --> 01:08:31,638
sprinkled with some
of his favorite recipes.

1288
01:08:31,639 --> 01:08:34,172
It's called "Fire It Up".
Here's the manuscript.

1289
01:08:34,173 --> 01:08:37,511
It sounds great, Jerry, but I've got
a reading now. Can this wait?

1290
01:08:37,512 --> 01:08:39,812
You know what?
I'll be reading my book.

1291
01:08:39,813 --> 01:08:43,406
I'm shuttling down
your little operation.

1292
01:08:44,617 --> 01:08:46,453
Jerry, Susie's book is a real gem.

1293
01:08:46,454 --> 01:08:48,219
It could be a hit for the company.

1294
01:08:48,220 --> 01:08:51,789
What are you so afraid of?
That I might do a better job than you?

1295
01:08:52,590 --> 01:08:54,023
Let me think.

1296
01:08:54,024 --> 01:08:57,730
Have you ever done
better than me at anything?

1297
01:08:57,731 --> 01:09:01,131
Hello, everybody. I've got
a real treat for you tonight.

1298
01:09:01,132 --> 01:09:04,435
I'm gonna be reading from
Donald Rumsfeld's new book.

1299
01:09:04,436 --> 01:09:06,872
Here's a particularly touching passage

1300
01:09:06,873 --> 01:09:10,341
about a short rib recipe he
picked up while in Baghdad.

1301
01:09:10,342 --> 01:09:13,609
Susie's reading. Go read your
cookbook somewhere else, Jerry.

1302
01:09:13,610 --> 01:09:16,114
Step away from the podium now!

1303
01:09:17,216 --> 01:09:19,950
Make me.

1304
01:09:19,951 --> 01:09:21,085
He begins.

1305
01:09:29,226 --> 01:09:30,893
Get off!

1306
01:09:30,894 --> 01:09:33,830
Okay. Okay.
Stop it I that's enough.

1307
01:09:33,831 --> 01:09:37,102
That's enough.
Stop it. Get off of him.

1308
01:09:37,103 --> 01:09:40,736
How pathetic. You have to have
your secretary defend you.

1309
01:09:40,737 --> 01:09:42,338
She's not a secretary.

1310
01:09:42,339 --> 01:09:45,475
Oh, really? Then what is she,
other than shrill?

1311
01:09:45,476 --> 01:09:48,178
She's a fantastic editor.

1312
01:09:48,179 --> 01:09:52,148
Oh, that's rich. An editor?

1313
01:09:52,149 --> 01:09:56,083
So I go away for a few months,
and the world's lamest accountant

1314
01:09:56,084 --> 01:09:59,188
is running my company with
the world's dumbest secretary.

1315
01:09:59,189 --> 01:10:01,624
All I can say is,

1316
01:10:01,625 --> 01:10:04,125
I hope your kid
doesn't inherit your brains.

1317
01:10:07,196 --> 01:10:09,029
Be careful! Be careful...

1318
01:10:09,030 --> 01:10:11,099
Oh, God!

1319
01:10:16,707 --> 01:10:20,504
What happened to your stomach?

1320
01:10:27,681 --> 01:10:29,118
Nicky.

1321
01:10:29,119 --> 01:10:32,086
You always were such
a good judge of character.

1322
01:10:32,087 --> 01:10:35,420
Nick. I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.

1323
01:10:35,421 --> 01:10:39,593
I never meant for things to go this far.

1324
01:10:39,594 --> 01:10:43,963
Jerry was gonna fire me and
I couldn't afford to get fired.

1325
01:10:43,964 --> 01:10:47,735
And I thought the whole thing
would blow over in a day or 2.

1326
01:10:47,736 --> 01:10:51,203
Blow over in a day or 2?

1327
01:10:54,142 --> 01:10:57,541
What kind of person
pretends to be pregnant?

1328
01:11:01,849 --> 01:11:04,184
Nick. I'm sorry. Just...

1329
01:11:04,185 --> 01:11:07,084
Please, just... Nick.

1330
01:11:24,102 --> 01:11:26,837
Hey, Nick, it's Thea...

1331
01:11:26,838 --> 01:11:29,108
I'm kinda wondering
what you're up to.

1332
01:11:29,109 --> 01:11:32,678
Kinda assuming that what
you're up to is hating me.

1333
01:11:32,679 --> 01:11:35,746
Kinda feeling very
bad about that.

1334
01:11:35,747 --> 01:11:39,217
Anyway. Call me.

1335
01:11:40,887 --> 01:11:43,121
Hi, Nick. Thea again.

1336
01:11:43,122 --> 01:11:47,556
I just wanna say
that I'm so, so sorry.

1337
01:11:47,557 --> 01:11:50,161
<i>I was talking to
your mother about it.</i>

1338
01:11:50,162 --> 01:11:52,563
<i>She and I are on the
same page on this thing.</i>

1339
01:11:52,564 --> 01:11:56,799
<i>I would rather say extra virgin olive oil.
I don't wanna abbreviate it.</i>

1340
01:11:58,000 --> 01:11:59,871
Hi, Nick, it's me...

1341
01:12:01,372 --> 01:12:04,408
I know you haven't been interested
in picking up the phone...

1342
01:12:04,409 --> 01:12:09,471
But I just wanted to tell you
how much really... really...

1343
01:12:21,659 --> 01:12:24,717
Hall

1344
01:12:29,433 --> 01:12:31,368
So...

1345
01:12:31,369 --> 01:12:34,436
What have you been up to?

1346
01:12:34,937 --> 01:12:38,105
Watching the Vista on an endless loop.

1347
01:12:38,106 --> 01:12:39,975
It's self-inflicted torture.

1348
01:12:39,976 --> 01:12:41,643
That sounds healthy.

1349
01:12:41,644 --> 01:12:44,580
Well, it smells like
something died in here.

1350
01:12:44,581 --> 01:12:46,147
It did.

1351
01:12:46,148 --> 01:12:48,316
My soul.

1352
01:12:48,317 --> 01:12:50,986
Thea. You've gotta give
yourself a tiny break.

1353
01:12:50,987 --> 01:12:52,287
People make mistakes.

1354
01:12:52,288 --> 01:12:53,788
I majorly screwed up.

1355
01:12:53,789 --> 01:12:55,958
Well, look on the bright side.

1356
01:12:55,959 --> 01:12:58,159
They're still talking about it at work.

1357
01:12:58,160 --> 01:12:59,362
How's Nick doing?

1358
01:12:59,363 --> 01:13:01,862
I don't know. He resigned.

1359
01:13:01,863 --> 01:13:03,630
What?

1360
01:13:03,631 --> 01:13:05,966
Did he say anything
about what he's gonna do?

1361
01:13:05,967 --> 01:13:09,370
If you're asking me if he said he'd
track you down and propose to you

1362
01:13:09,371 --> 01:13:11,805
and spend the rest
of your lives together?

1363
01:13:11,806 --> 01:13:13,640
No. He didn't mention anything specific.

1364
01:13:13,641 --> 01:13:16,475
I've been calling
him and calling him.

1365
01:13:16,476 --> 01:13:18,412
And he won't call me back.

1366
01:13:18,413 --> 01:13:20,582
Yeah, well maybe that
has something to do...

1367
01:13:20,583 --> 01:13:24,419
with the massively twisted lie you've
told him for the last few months.

1368
01:13:24,420 --> 01:13:27,352
Do you think
he'll ever forgive me?

1369
01:13:28,554 --> 01:13:31,957
Do you want me to be honest or do
you want me to make you feel better?

1370
01:13:31,958 --> 01:13:34,328
How are Susie's book sales?

1371
01:13:34,329 --> 01:13:36,196
Good.

1372
01:13:36,197 --> 01:13:40,167
You know, there's still a few boxes...

1373
01:13:40,168 --> 01:13:42,535
that we need to distribute
here and there.

1374
01:13:42,536 --> 01:13:44,798
Oh, no.

1375
01:13:55,815 --> 01:13:57,147
Sorry.

1376
01:13:57,148 --> 01:14:00,220
Hey.

1377
01:14:00,221 --> 01:14:02,517
Mind if I join you?

1378
01:14:03,090 --> 01:14:05,579
It's a free country.

1379
01:14:16,869 --> 01:14:18,634
What's in this? Mint?

1380
01:14:18,635 --> 01:14:20,271
Yup.

1381
01:14:20,272 --> 01:14:22,773
It's perfect with the pear.

1382
01:14:22,774 --> 01:14:24,641
It's so unexpected.

1383
01:14:24,642 --> 01:14:29,338
That was actually... my idea.
I kinda just thought it would work.

1384
01:14:30,050 --> 01:14:31,851
Dad would have loved it.

1385
01:14:31,852 --> 01:14:34,551
Mom would have
thought it was too fussy.

1386
01:14:34,552 --> 01:14:40,114
But she would have polished off the
leftovers after everyone went to bed.

1387
01:14:44,361 --> 01:14:48,261
I'm a big fat liar and I'm sorry
you got stuck with me.

1388
01:14:49,400 --> 01:14:52,169
Listen, we're gonna
make this work. Okay?

1389
01:14:52,170 --> 01:14:56,205
I made an appointment with the Culinary
I institute to talk about student loans.

1390
01:14:56,206 --> 01:14:59,874
And I talked to Ms. Talbot
about scholarships.

1391
01:14:59,875 --> 01:15:03,179
You know, Mom and Dad would
have been so proud of you.

1392
01:15:03,180 --> 01:15:04,847
Thanks.

1393
01:15:16,493 --> 01:15:18,186
It needs...

1394
01:15:19,628 --> 01:15:21,197
I think 10 more minutes.

1395
01:15:21,198 --> 01:15:22,799
I don't have 10 more minutes.

1396
01:15:22,800 --> 01:15:24,633
But it's gonna be all gooey inside.

1397
01:15:24,634 --> 01:15:26,468
I'll just have to take my chances.

1398
01:15:26,469 --> 01:15:29,703
Here she comes.
Here comes Claire, everybody.

1399
01:15:29,704 --> 01:15:32,008
I love you.

1400
01:15:32,009 --> 01:15:34,275
I haven't missed
a show in 5 years.

1401
01:15:34,276 --> 01:15:36,310
Thank you. But you
should get out more.

1402
01:15:36,311 --> 01:15:37,544
I'm kidding.

1403
01:15:37,545 --> 01:15:39,479
I'm Thea Clayhill,
your biggest fan.

1404
01:15:39,480 --> 01:15:42,318
I made you a pineapple cake.
It's your favorite, right?

1405
01:15:42,319 --> 01:15:44,486
Yes. Good reconnaissance.
Good for you.

1406
01:15:44,487 --> 01:15:47,888
How did you know
about the cake?

1407
01:15:47,889 --> 01:15:51,484
Her May 15th show.
She said it in passing.

1408
01:15:53,529 --> 01:15:55,329
I have some books for you.

1409
01:15:55,330 --> 01:15:57,598
Oh, great. Just leave 'em
right over there.

1410
01:15:57,599 --> 01:15:59,965
Okay. Keep your womb open.

1411
01:15:59,966 --> 01:16:01,569
You've got it.

1412
01:16:01,570 --> 01:16:05,205
I actually would like even
more toppings on my... Hello.

1413
01:16:05,206 --> 01:16:08,607
Hey. Thea Cahill, your number
one fan with banana cream pie.

1414
01:16:08,608 --> 01:16:13,102
You do your homework. I hope it's
as delicious as your pineapple cake.

1415
01:16:21,858 --> 01:16:24,089
You can hit a few more
potholes next time.

1416
01:16:24,090 --> 01:16:25,457
Claire, I love you.

1417
01:16:25,458 --> 01:16:27,025
There she Is. Claire.

1418
01:16:27,026 --> 01:16:29,460
There she is. My number 1 fan,
Thea Clayhill.

1419
01:16:29,861 --> 01:16:31,465
Pear ginger pie.

1420
01:16:31,466 --> 01:16:33,600
Nicely done, Betty Crocker.

1421
01:16:33,601 --> 01:16:35,901
It's actually not me,
it's my little sister.

1422
01:16:35,902 --> 01:16:38,070
What's your angle
besides making me a pig?

1423
01:16:38,071 --> 01:16:39,937
Wanna get your little sister on TV?

1424
01:16:39,938 --> 01:16:43,476
I really wanna get this book on TV.
It's really special.

1425
01:16:43,477 --> 01:16:46,678
Okay. Thank you.

1426
01:16:46,679 --> 01:16:49,044
Thanks.

1427
01:16:49,614 --> 01:16:51,773
Good luck.

1428
01:17:08,268 --> 01:17:11,067
I bet I'm the last person
you wanted to see right now.

1429
01:17:11,068 --> 01:17:14,538
Well, maybe not the last person.

1430
01:17:14,539 --> 01:17:17,207
Maybe the 2nd or 3rd to last person.

1431
01:17:17,208 --> 01:17:21,410
I wouldn't want to see my 6th grade
English teacher, Ms. Posey. She was awful.

1432
01:17:21,411 --> 01:17:24,614
Or my college boyfriend.
He dumped me on an answering machine.

1433
01:17:24,615 --> 01:17:28,050
Listen, Susie.
I'm really sorry,

1434
01:17:28,051 --> 01:17:31,287
I really wish I could have been
the person you thought I was.

1435
01:17:31,288 --> 01:17:33,324
I just figured
if I told you the truth,

1436
01:17:33,325 --> 01:17:37,494
you wouldn't want me in your life
and I really enjoyed being in yours.

1437
01:17:37,495 --> 01:17:40,595
I really enjoyed
being in your life, too,

1438
01:17:40,596 --> 01:17:42,699
for what it's worth.

1439
01:17:42,700 --> 01:17:45,067
Well, I've got some really good news.

1440
01:17:45,068 --> 01:17:46,302
We're gonna...

1441
01:17:47,571 --> 01:17:49,305
Oh, my God, are you okay?

1442
01:17:49,306 --> 01:17:51,406
The baby's coming.

1443
01:17:51,407 --> 01:17:52,576
Right now?

1444
01:17:52,577 --> 01:17:54,277
My water broke this morning.

1445
01:17:54,278 --> 01:17:56,278
My contractions started an hour ago.

1446
01:17:56,579 --> 01:17:58,046
Where is everyone?

1447
01:17:58,047 --> 01:18:00,848
Jesse's on his way.

1448
01:18:00,849 --> 01:18:03,256
What should I do?
Hot water? Towels?

1449
01:18:03,257 --> 01:18:05,953
Let's just get in the car
and go to the hospital.

1450
01:18:05,954 --> 01:18:09,324
A lotta people can help us there.
I can't really do much here.

1451
01:18:09,325 --> 01:18:11,492
No, no. I'm fine.

1452
01:18:11,493 --> 01:18:13,262
My contraction ended.

1453
01:18:13,263 --> 01:18:15,263
It'll be hours before
I have this baby.

1454
01:18:15,264 --> 01:18:16,764
It's already that painful?

1455
01:18:16,765 --> 01:18:19,233
You ain't seen nothin' yet.

1456
01:18:19,234 --> 01:18:22,468
It's gonna get a whole lot worse
before we turn this mother out.

1457
01:18:22,469 --> 01:18:24,540
What were you saying?

1458
01:18:24,941 --> 01:18:26,374
The Vista wants you.

1459
01:18:28,010 --> 01:18:29,544
Are you sure this is normal?

1460
01:18:29,545 --> 01:18:33,614
Yes, it's fine. The Vista?
That's amazing. When?

1461
01:18:33,615 --> 01:18:35,982
In 2 hours.
They had a cancellation.

1462
01:18:35,983 --> 01:18:38,619
Yeah.
That's not gonna work for me.

1463
01:18:41,654 --> 01:18:44,525
Hurry! We're gonna be late!

1464
01:18:49,063 --> 01:18:51,825
- Hello.
- Hello.

1465
01:18:56,963 --> 01:18:58,871
- Hi.
- Hi.

1466
01:19:00,306 --> 01:19:03,041
I think I'm sitting on something.
Like this.

1467
01:19:04,447 --> 01:19:07,046
Hey, Em, it's me.
I desperately need a favor.

1468
01:19:07,047 --> 01:19:10,708
Here you go. Don't cry.

1469
01:19:20,160 --> 01:19:21,291
Emma.

1470
01:19:21,292 --> 01:19:22,459
Hi, Nick.

1471
01:19:22,460 --> 01:19:23,763
What're you doing here?

1472
01:19:23,764 --> 01:19:25,398
I have to take you somewhere.

1473
01:19:25,399 --> 01:19:27,131
Excuse me?

1474
01:19:27,132 --> 01:19:29,334
Please, don't make me explain.

1475
01:19:29,335 --> 01:19:31,969
So if you just get your keys.
We really have to go.

1476
01:19:31,970 --> 01:19:33,170
Emma.

1477
01:19:33,171 --> 01:19:34,640
Come on!

1478
01:19:34,641 --> 01:19:37,675
You're pulling our legs. Collectively.

1479
01:19:37,676 --> 01:19:41,079
We absolutely have to begin in 3 minutes.
Your guy better get here.

1480
01:19:41,080 --> 01:19:42,680
I promise he'll be here.

1481
01:19:42,681 --> 01:19:45,184
He'll be here.
It's gonna be great.

1482
01:19:45,185 --> 01:19:47,383
I don't know what's
keeping him so long.

1483
01:19:47,384 --> 01:19:49,852
It'd be really fun
to have you back again.

1484
01:19:49,853 --> 01:19:52,755
When we come back,
"I'm So Over This...

1485
01:19:52,756 --> 01:19:55,694
What It's Really Like To Be Pregnant".
So stick around.

1486
01:19:56,928 --> 01:19:58,796
I need 4 asses in those seats now.

1487
01:19:58,797 --> 01:20:00,731
Oh, my God, Lisa.
What are we gonna do?

1488
01:20:00,732 --> 01:20:01,898
You're gonna go.

1489
01:20:01,899 --> 01:20:03,066
What?

1490
01:20:03,067 --> 01:20:05,194
I don't wanna go.

1491
01:20:06,105 --> 01:20:08,639
How are you?
Thank you. Loved the book.

1492
01:20:08,640 --> 01:20:12,808
Come on in. Hello, little baby.
Come on up.

1493
01:20:12,809 --> 01:20:14,208
- Hello.
- Hi.

1494
01:20:14,609 --> 01:20:17,846
Laura. What an amazing story.

1495
01:20:17,847 --> 01:20:21,084
I cannot believe that beautiful
baby was born at the DMV.

1496
01:20:21,085 --> 01:20:24,085
So Thea, any kids?

1497
01:20:24,086 --> 01:20:26,155
Oh, no, never been pregnant.

1498
01:20:26,156 --> 01:20:29,458
So why another pregnancy book?
Isn't the market a bit flooded?

1499
01:20:29,459 --> 01:20:31,460
Well, this one's different.

1500
01:20:31,461 --> 01:20:35,632
It's not a how-to book,
or a bunch of rules and recipes.

1501
01:20:35,633 --> 01:20:39,167
These stories are ultimately
about the birth of a new love.

1502
01:20:39,168 --> 01:20:40,435
We're late.

1503
01:20:40,436 --> 01:20:42,435
I can't believe
she booked with Vista.

1504
01:20:42,436 --> 01:20:45,007
It can be messy but in the
end you're much stronger

1505
01:20:45,008 --> 01:20:46,676
for having gone through it.

1506
01:20:46,677 --> 01:20:50,010
Even if you did something
you may regret.

1507
01:20:50,011 --> 01:20:53,313
And to be honest,
I was just helping out.

1508
01:20:53,314 --> 01:20:57,719
You know, I shouldn't even really be
sitting up here. It was Nick Steinwald

1509
01:20:57,720 --> 01:20:59,920
who's sitting in the audience right now.

1510
01:20:59,921 --> 01:21:01,922
He's responsible for the whole thing.

1511
01:21:01,923 --> 01:21:05,726
He believed in the book
from the beginning and...

1512
01:21:05,727 --> 01:21:07,694
he believed in me.

1513
01:21:07,695 --> 01:21:11,927
And... I really can't thank
him enough for that.

1514
01:21:12,128 --> 01:21:15,821
Well, why don't we try, everybody,
how about it? Nick Steinwald...

1515
01:21:15,822 --> 01:21:18,037
stand up!

1516
01:21:18,038 --> 01:21:21,370
Get him a mike.

1517
01:21:23,377 --> 01:21:27,047
So, she sings your praises. What is
about the book that appealed to you?

1518
01:21:30,717 --> 01:21:34,553
I thought Suzie's book had a fresh
and funny perspective on pregnancy.

1519
01:21:34,554 --> 01:21:36,656
Thea was right when
she said it was a book...

1520
01:21:36,657 --> 01:21:39,886
about how love can
see you through anything.

1521
01:21:41,694 --> 01:21:43,461
And how if...

1522
01:21:43,462 --> 01:21:46,065
if you love someone,

1523
01:21:46,066 --> 01:21:50,170
you can forgive them for...
all of the...

1524
01:21:50,171 --> 01:21:53,504
crazy and idiotic things they do.

1525
01:21:53,505 --> 01:21:56,642
Because love is a leap of faith.

1526
01:21:56,643 --> 01:21:59,343
And...

1527
01:21:59,344 --> 01:22:02,214
sometimes you just have to jump.

1528
01:22:02,215 --> 01:22:05,613
Don't you?

1529
01:22:07,486 --> 01:22:10,621
Okay. I'm gonna jump
in here for a second, and...

1530
01:22:10,922 --> 01:22:14,758
Thank you both so much.
Again, the book is "I'm So Over This.

1531
01:22:14,759 --> 01:22:17,162
What It's Really Like
To Be Pregnant".

1532
01:22:17,163 --> 01:22:19,663
There's a link on our website,
TheVista.com

1533
01:22:19,664 --> 01:22:22,666
One last thing, Nick.
Do you know how cute you are?

1534
01:22:22,967 --> 01:22:24,200
No.

1535
01:22:24,201 --> 01:22:26,205
No, he doesn't, does he?

1536
01:22:26,206 --> 01:22:28,635
Okay, thank you very much.

1537
01:22:49,159 --> 01:22:51,293
Hey, hey, hey! Guess what?

1538
01:22:51,294 --> 01:22:53,962
The producer said there's
been over 100 thousand hits...

1539
01:22:53,963 --> 01:22:57,168
on the show's link
to your book. Yeah.

1540
01:22:57,169 --> 01:22:58,236
- That's fantastic.
- Yes, it is.

1541
01:22:58,237 --> 01:22:59,468
Thanks, Claire.

1542
01:22:59,469 --> 01:23:01,868
Thank you.

1543
01:23:02,505 --> 01:23:05,166
Hey.

1544
01:23:05,542 --> 01:23:07,178
Thank you.

1545
01:23:07,179 --> 01:23:09,177
It's the least I could do.

1546
01:23:09,178 --> 01:23:12,714
I meant what I said about
I can't thank you enough,

1547
01:23:12,715 --> 01:23:15,650
you know, now that it's all over.

1548
01:23:15,651 --> 01:23:17,846
What's over?

1549
01:23:18,121 --> 01:23:19,888
Working together,

1550
01:23:19,889 --> 01:23:23,458
being together,
just togetherness in general.

1551
01:23:24,859 --> 01:23:26,726
It doesn't have to be.

1552
01:23:26,727 --> 01:23:29,664
We made a good book together.
We can make another one.

1553
01:23:29,665 --> 01:23:31,733
Would you wanna do that?

1554
01:23:31,734 --> 01:23:35,031
Yes. Yes, I would.

1555
01:23:56,256 --> 01:23:57,992
Still feel backed up?

1556
01:23:57,993 --> 01:23:59,560
Thanks, Greg.

1557
01:23:59,561 --> 01:24:01,193
Should It freak me out

1558
01:24:01,194 --> 01:24:03,595
that he knows more about
your bowels than I do?

1559
01:24:03,596 --> 01:24:06,188
Maybe that's a good thing.

1560
01:24:06,999 --> 01:24:09,671
If I've been timing these right,
and I'm sure I have,

1561
01:24:09,672 --> 01:24:12,805
You're up in 10, 9, 8, 7...

1562
01:24:14,341 --> 01:24:16,207
Yes just 6 seconds off.

1563
01:24:16,208 --> 01:24:17,444
What I'd miss?

1564
01:24:17,445 --> 01:24:19,414
We're contracting every half hour.

1565
01:24:19,415 --> 01:24:21,081
You okay?

1566
01:24:21,082 --> 01:24:23,649
We're gonna kick
this puppy out at 0900.

1567
01:24:23,650 --> 01:24:25,316
They should head out now.

1568
01:24:25,317 --> 01:24:26,884
No one's going anywhere...

1569
01:24:26,885 --> 01:24:29,055
the doctor said to wait
until every 15...

1570
01:24:30,456 --> 01:24:32,290
Wait. You're way off.

1571
01:24:32,291 --> 01:24:34,225
- That one was not good.
- Way off.

1572
01:24:34,226 --> 01:24:36,160
Jesus. She's having a baby.
Now!

1573
01:24:36,161 --> 01:24:37,528
What do you mean?

1574
01:24:37,529 --> 01:24:39,031
Okay. No, no, no.

1575
01:24:39,032 --> 01:24:40,864
What are we gonna do?
What the hell are we gonna do?

1576
01:24:40,865 --> 01:24:42,866
- Move! Move!
- Look at your Apgar scores

1577
01:24:42,867 --> 01:24:44,536
My baby got a perfect 10. I mean

1578
01:24:44,537 --> 01:24:46,738
your baby's gonna do well.
Maybe like 7 or 8.

1579
01:24:46,739 --> 01:24:48,000
If it's a boy,
feel free to name him Carl.

1580
01:24:48,001 --> 01:24:49,401
I love you guys.

1581
01:24:49,609 --> 01:24:51,508
I forgot. Okay.

1582
01:24:51,509 --> 01:24:53,110
Get the epidural.

1583
01:24:53,111 --> 01:24:55,179
Don't screw this up, you two.

1584
01:24:55,780 --> 01:24:57,650
- Are you ready?
- Let's hope.

1585
01:24:57,651 --> 01:24:59,617
- I Love you.
- I love you, too.

1586
01:24:59,618 --> 01:25:01,305
- It's your fault.
- Simper fi.

1587
01:25:02,386 --> 01:25:03,387
Push.

1588
01:25:03,388 --> 01:25:06,378
- Push!
- Not yet.