1 00:01:40,309 --> 00:01:43,771 We here. We are here. 2 00:01:44,772 --> 00:01:49,610 I can't believe we at Three Tizzle, the hottest shop in La Lizzie. 3 00:01:49,819 --> 00:01:52,488 English, son. Remember, we're in America. 4 00:01:54,949 --> 00:01:58,077 Son, your Uncle Mack is gonna trip. 5 00:01:58,494 --> 00:02:03,207 Man, when I first left Caruthersville, all I had was a $50 Gremlin and a Jheri curl. 6 00:02:03,415 --> 00:02:08,337 Look at me now. Pushing a fully-loaded, brand-new Lincoln Navigator. 7 00:02:08,504 --> 00:02:10,965 Come on, Dad. Compared to these trucks, 8 00:02:11,048 --> 00:02:12,591 yours is wack. 9 00:02:12,758 --> 00:02:16,053 - What? - I'm just saying. Don't get all mad at me. 10 00:02:16,262 --> 00:02:21,725 They're nice. Got your Ferrari, Lotus, but it's no Lincoln. That's what I'm saying. 11 00:02:21,892 --> 00:02:22,852 Hello, mon. 12 00:02:22,935 --> 00:02:25,229 Welcome to 310 Motoring. How may I help you? 13 00:02:25,312 --> 00:02:27,648 I'm Nate Johnson. Ls my truck ready? 14 00:02:28,816 --> 00:02:33,737 Yes, it is, mon. You're the insurance guy. I remember your truck. 15 00:02:35,156 --> 00:02:36,991 Oh, snap. Hey. 16 00:02:37,158 --> 00:02:40,828 Yo, that's Kurupt. I sent him my demo tape, like, two weeks ago. 17 00:02:41,036 --> 00:02:43,581 Just act like you my bodyguard. 18 00:02:43,873 --> 00:02:48,377 And if he come over, just call me MC D to the Jizzay. 19 00:02:48,586 --> 00:02:51,088 - Hear that? - Call you who to the "whizzay"? 20 00:02:51,255 --> 00:02:53,591 I named you Davernius James 21 00:02:53,757 --> 00:02:57,303 after your granddaddy. Street name stuff isn't marketable. 22 00:02:57,469 --> 00:02:59,972 This rap thing, son, there's no future in it. 23 00:03:00,139 --> 00:03:02,266 There's no pension, no 401 plan, 24 00:03:02,433 --> 00:03:04,101 and obviously no dental. 25 00:03:04,268 --> 00:03:07,188 That's why they all have those gold teeth. 26 00:03:11,025 --> 00:03:14,195 Dad. Dad, come on. Dad, come on. 27 00:03:16,197 --> 00:03:19,575 Now, that's what I call a fully-loaded 'gator for the haters. 28 00:03:19,658 --> 00:03:22,161 The platinum grill, Burberry interior. 29 00:03:24,163 --> 00:03:29,210 Hydraulic switches, three-wheel motion... And look at the wheels. 30 00:03:32,254 --> 00:03:36,133 - Oh, boy. - Son, that Crenshaw crap kills the resale. 31 00:03:36,300 --> 00:03:40,804 Now, what self-respecting lawyer or doctor would drive this thing now? 32 00:03:41,263 --> 00:03:44,058 - Dr. Dre. - Boy, he ain't no real doctor. 33 00:03:44,516 --> 00:03:47,811 Come here. Now, look, son, my car will be your car 34 00:03:47,978 --> 00:03:51,732 in three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, 10 years. 35 00:03:51,899 --> 00:03:54,777 And I don't want you thugging it up. 36 00:03:55,069 --> 00:03:57,863 But, Dad, then why are we here? 37 00:03:59,615 --> 00:04:04,536 We're here to install my 8-track player so I can listen to my music on the trip. 38 00:04:04,954 --> 00:04:09,375 Listen, if you wanted to go old-school, have them install your record player. 39 00:04:09,541 --> 00:04:12,670 Boy, you know those videos got your head all mixed-up? 40 00:04:12,836 --> 00:04:16,715 Now, back in my day, you couldn't have just two hit songs 41 00:04:16,882 --> 00:04:21,136 and call yourself having a good record. No, the whole album had to be good. 42 00:04:21,303 --> 00:04:25,683 Just put it on, let it play. Wasn't like that mess you listen to today. 43 00:04:25,849 --> 00:04:29,270 All that "Rub me and lick me and suck me." 44 00:04:29,436 --> 00:04:32,356 Gotta wear a condom just to listen to some of it. 45 00:04:35,359 --> 00:04:36,443 Oh. 46 00:04:36,527 --> 00:04:39,530 Oh, no, no, no. Tell me this is not my truck. 47 00:04:39,613 --> 00:04:44,326 Yes it is, insurance man. Beautiful, isn't it? This truck has TVs in the floors 48 00:04:44,493 --> 00:04:46,578 and the headrests, a Nike airbag, 49 00:04:46,745 --> 00:04:51,250 even new 26-inch rims just approved for public use. 50 00:04:51,417 --> 00:04:55,379 Not by me. The only thing I approved was an 8-track. 51 00:04:55,546 --> 00:04:57,298 Now, where is it? 52 00:04:58,841 --> 00:05:00,926 Oh, the Delco. 53 00:05:01,093 --> 00:05:03,178 It must have been a mix-up 54 00:05:03,512 --> 00:05:07,808 - made by my brother, who we fired. - Well, imagine that, Ziggy Marley. 55 00:05:07,975 --> 00:05:11,061 Now, I suggest you get that junk off my truck right now 56 00:05:11,228 --> 00:05:14,481 before I flip you upside down and mop the floor with you. 57 00:05:14,648 --> 00:05:16,775 Wait. Shh. Shh. Don't be so violent. 58 00:05:16,942 --> 00:05:20,779 Calm down. Now, I can't just take it off. 59 00:05:20,946 --> 00:05:22,865 It's gonna take about 60 00:05:23,032 --> 00:05:27,328 - one Jamaica, three... Three days. - Oh, no. Three days? No, no, no. 61 00:05:27,494 --> 00:05:31,790 In three days, I've gotta be in Missouri. Which means I'm on the I-10 by 10. 62 00:05:31,957 --> 00:05:33,292 No worries. 63 00:05:33,459 --> 00:05:37,004 Just take it. And bring it back exactly how it is. 64 00:05:37,212 --> 00:05:38,422 - No charge. - Whoa. 65 00:05:38,505 --> 00:05:40,090 Better not be no charge to me. 66 00:05:40,257 --> 00:05:42,009 Look, what about my 8-track? 67 00:05:42,176 --> 00:05:45,971 It has eight-track, nine-track, 10-track. It's a CD player. 68 00:05:46,138 --> 00:05:48,932 Don't worry, boss man. Your ride will glide. 69 00:05:51,185 --> 00:05:52,686 Dad, hit the switches. 70 00:06:00,235 --> 00:06:02,029 Up, up. Down. 71 00:06:02,821 --> 00:06:04,156 Yeah. 72 00:06:11,205 --> 00:06:12,414 Oh! 73 00:06:12,498 --> 00:06:15,918 This don't make sense. D. J., how do you turn this thing off? 74 00:06:16,126 --> 00:06:18,754 She's all looking at us. What's up, baby? 75 00:06:19,254 --> 00:06:21,215 Hey, this hot, huh? 76 00:06:25,719 --> 00:06:28,430 Oh, snap. Yo, Dad. Look. 77 00:06:28,597 --> 00:06:32,184 310 dropped the navigation in the car. Look. 78 00:06:32,351 --> 00:06:34,728 It's going up, UP, UP- 79 00:06:35,354 --> 00:06:37,439 But here's the fun part. 80 00:06:37,689 --> 00:06:42,319 Los Angeles to Caruthersville, Missouri. 81 00:06:42,486 --> 00:06:44,113 Los Angeles to Caruthersville. 82 00:06:44,196 --> 00:06:47,366 Distance, 1888.9 miles. 83 00:06:47,699 --> 00:06:51,662 That's all I need, is another woman telling me what to do. 84 00:06:51,995 --> 00:06:55,582 Girl, wanna know my perfect outfit? I'm thinking J.lo's jeans... 85 00:06:55,749 --> 00:06:58,252 You know, the ones she had at the MTV awards? 86 00:06:58,419 --> 00:07:02,381 No, no. But Eve's top at the AMAs? That was hot. I would rock that. 87 00:07:03,757 --> 00:07:05,384 Open the door. 88 00:07:05,592 --> 00:07:07,136 Tried that. 89 00:07:07,302 --> 00:07:09,680 Here. Use this. 90 00:07:11,682 --> 00:07:13,267 Hold on. 91 00:07:14,017 --> 00:07:17,020 - Hello? - Nikki. Open the door. 92 00:07:22,526 --> 00:07:25,863 Nikki, let your sister get her dog's stuff. 93 00:07:29,533 --> 00:07:31,452 - Okay. - Hmm. 94 00:07:32,786 --> 00:07:36,874 Your father's supposed to be here. So get off the phone, finish packing, 95 00:07:37,082 --> 00:07:39,501 and change that outfit. 96 00:07:40,878 --> 00:07:42,379 Don't you answer that phone. 97 00:07:42,546 --> 00:07:46,216 - Whoever it is can call when you get back. - Okay. 98 00:07:58,770 --> 00:08:00,272 - Did you see that? - Yeah. 99 00:08:00,439 --> 00:08:03,400 - Dad, did you see that? - Yeah, I saw it. 100 00:08:06,904 --> 00:08:09,740 Boy, give me the phone. Phone ain't for you. 101 00:08:09,948 --> 00:08:12,367 Upstairs, D.J. Hello? 102 00:08:12,534 --> 00:08:14,786 Hey, Mama. No, I told you. 103 00:08:14,953 --> 00:08:17,498 - We 'll be there in three days. - I'm surprised. 104 00:08:17,664 --> 00:08:20,334 Because Ms. Uppity makes you back out every year. 105 00:08:20,501 --> 00:08:22,878 I don't know why that woman doesn't like me. 106 00:08:23,086 --> 00:08:26,798 Come on, Mama. You did throw cooked rice at our wedding. 107 00:08:28,592 --> 00:08:33,847 - Is that woman even coming? - Yeah. She is packing right now. 108 00:08:35,057 --> 00:08:38,810 Hold on, your brother Mack just got here with a flat-screen TV. 109 00:08:38,894 --> 00:08:41,730 - Hey, Mama. - You always thinking about your mama. 110 00:08:41,897 --> 00:08:43,232 All the time, girl. 111 00:08:43,398 --> 00:08:46,109 Set it right over there between J.F.K. and Jesus. 112 00:08:46,276 --> 00:08:50,364 - No, no. Mack got you a plasma TV? - I don't know, is that what you call it? 113 00:08:50,572 --> 00:08:53,492 - Hey, here, talk to your brother. - All right. 114 00:08:53,659 --> 00:08:55,702 Hey, little bro, what's going on? 115 00:08:56,161 --> 00:08:59,706 Hey, man. What happened to the 35-inch I just sent Mama? 116 00:09:00,082 --> 00:09:03,669 Don't worry about it. She... She using it. 117 00:09:04,211 --> 00:09:06,338 You planning on coming here and winning 118 00:09:06,421 --> 00:09:08,465 my "Family of the Year" trophy? 119 00:09:09,174 --> 00:09:12,469 Man, what trophy? I'm not thinking about no trophy. 120 00:09:12,636 --> 00:09:16,640 I'm just bringing my family to see Mama. 121 00:09:16,723 --> 00:09:19,017 That's thoughtful of you, baby bro, 122 00:09:19,184 --> 00:09:21,687 seeing as you ain't been here in four years. 123 00:09:21,895 --> 00:09:26,608 - You trying to start something? - No, no. I ain't trying to start nothing. 124 00:09:26,775 --> 00:09:31,863 It's just, you ain't been here in so long, I think you're trying to hide something. 125 00:09:32,030 --> 00:09:36,118 You do remember the rules, don't you? You can't win Family of the Year 126 00:09:36,285 --> 00:09:38,370 - if you ain't a family. - I know. 127 00:09:38,579 --> 00:09:43,208 So I strongly suggest, if you wanna win yourself a trophy or something, 128 00:09:43,375 --> 00:09:45,836 you ought to start coaching Little League. 129 00:09:48,046 --> 00:09:52,134 My little brother Nate. Hey, Mama. 130 00:09:52,342 --> 00:09:54,970 Hey, look. Man, I know he didn't hang up. 131 00:09:55,137 --> 00:09:57,556 Hello? All right, all right. 132 00:10:03,770 --> 00:10:05,314 Yo, Dad. 133 00:10:05,480 --> 00:10:08,775 Look, I'm really tired, going back and forth. 134 00:10:09,318 --> 00:10:13,071 I mean, we gotta go all the way over there. 135 00:10:13,280 --> 00:10:16,950 Then we gotta go all the way over here. And then we gotta go all... 136 00:10:17,117 --> 00:10:21,788 All right, all right, I get it. Look, things are gonna be okay. 137 00:10:21,955 --> 00:10:25,876 If they weren't, we wouldn't be going on this trip together. 138 00:10:26,043 --> 00:10:29,880 Your mother and I are gonna work things out. Don't worry. Okay? 139 00:10:30,047 --> 00:10:32,049 - All right. - All right, buckle up. 140 00:10:33,133 --> 00:10:36,720 Lock your door. Close your vent. 141 00:10:36,887 --> 00:10:38,722 - Don't touch the radio. - All right. 142 00:10:38,889 --> 00:10:42,851 - I said, don't touch the radio. - My bad. 143 00:10:48,273 --> 00:10:51,485 Dorothy, Nikki, let's go! 144 00:10:55,238 --> 00:10:58,325 - You wanna learn how to drive? - Oh, yeah, for sure. 145 00:10:58,492 --> 00:11:01,244 Give me your hand. Here's your first lesson. 146 00:11:01,411 --> 00:11:03,080 Let's go! 147 00:11:03,288 --> 00:11:06,291 Calm down, Nate. We'll be out in a minute. - 148 00:11:06,375 --> 00:11:08,293 Let's go. 149 00:11:10,212 --> 00:11:14,841 - Oh, no, don't even think about it. - Dang, Dad. 150 00:11:15,050 --> 00:11:19,638 Man, what would I do without my Mike Tyson Griddle? 151 00:11:19,805 --> 00:11:22,808 Tastes so good, it'll bite you back. 152 00:11:22,974 --> 00:11:25,602 - Let me go get these women. - Yeah, do that. 153 00:11:31,858 --> 00:11:35,612 Ladies? Come on, let's go. We gotta be on the I-10 by 10. 154 00:11:35,779 --> 00:11:38,448 And it's 9:42. Let's roll. 155 00:11:40,242 --> 00:11:42,786 Oh, no, no, no. 156 00:11:42,953 --> 00:11:46,164 Don't tell me you're bringing your schoolwork on this trip. 157 00:11:46,331 --> 00:11:48,500 Yes. I have a test when I get back. 158 00:11:48,709 --> 00:11:53,922 - Why don't you study when we get back. - Will you help me with the bags, please? 159 00:11:54,089 --> 00:11:57,509 D. J., help your mother with her bags. 160 00:11:57,843 --> 00:11:59,344 Whoa, whoa, whoa. 161 00:11:59,428 --> 00:12:01,847 Running like you stole something. Say hello. 162 00:12:02,013 --> 00:12:03,932 - Hello, sweetie. - Hey, Mom. 163 00:12:04,099 --> 00:12:07,185 You mean you gotta do this every... 164 00:12:08,103 --> 00:12:13,358 Yeah, you right. My belly button is way better than Beyoncé's. 165 00:12:14,401 --> 00:12:19,781 What? Now, see, you going a little far now. I ain't putting chocolate syrup in it. 166 00:12:19,990 --> 00:12:21,867 - No way... - Get off that phone 167 00:12:22,033 --> 00:12:23,452 and change that outfit. 168 00:12:23,618 --> 00:12:26,121 You're living under my roof, play by my rules. 169 00:12:26,288 --> 00:12:30,751 No boys on the phone, on the answering machine, stopping by all hours. 170 00:12:30,917 --> 00:12:33,462 - Don't you roll your eyes at me. - That's right. 171 00:12:33,670 --> 00:12:38,341 I didn't want you to have a cell phone in the first place. Your father's idea. 172 00:12:40,135 --> 00:12:43,388 Y'all arguing about the wrong thing. Who made sandwiches? 173 00:12:43,555 --> 00:12:47,058 And did you get the Planters Cheez Balls? You know I like them. 174 00:12:47,225 --> 00:12:49,978 Nate. You see what she's wearing? 175 00:12:51,563 --> 00:12:53,690 Actually, both y'all need to change. 176 00:12:53,857 --> 00:12:55,901 You know my mama don't like pink. 177 00:12:56,735 --> 00:12:59,237 Nate. Cheez Balls. 178 00:12:59,321 --> 00:13:01,656 Daddy, I made this outfit myself. 179 00:13:01,823 --> 00:13:04,451 Get upstairs and finish making the rest of it. 180 00:13:04,618 --> 00:13:07,913 - But it took me... - I'm your father, I know what's best. 181 00:13:08,079 --> 00:13:10,665 Now, let's go change. 182 00:13:10,749 --> 00:13:14,044 I-10 by 10. Let's go, people! 183 00:13:15,378 --> 00:13:17,380 - Hi, Daddy. - Hi, cutie. 184 00:13:17,589 --> 00:13:19,299 - And how are you? - Good. You? 185 00:13:19,508 --> 00:13:23,386 - You look so nice. You ready for the trip? - Yeah. 186 00:13:26,431 --> 00:13:28,600 Nate, what happened to your car? 187 00:13:28,809 --> 00:13:33,230 - It looks like a purse on wheels. - Then you should feel right at home. 188 00:13:33,897 --> 00:13:37,067 There you go, son. If that rapping doesn't work out, 189 00:13:37,234 --> 00:13:39,694 you'll make one hell of a bellboy. 190 00:13:40,946 --> 00:13:42,280 Go ahead. 191 00:13:42,447 --> 00:13:45,617 All right, sweetie, let's get you in the car. 192 00:13:46,326 --> 00:13:49,037 All right, upsy-goesy. 193 00:13:50,956 --> 00:13:52,040 Okay, better. 194 00:13:54,793 --> 00:13:58,338 Remember, baby girl, I have a very special birthday party 195 00:13:58,505 --> 00:14:00,465 planned for you at Bun World. 196 00:14:00,841 --> 00:14:02,509 Yeah! 197 00:14:02,592 --> 00:14:05,720 Wait, Daddy. Don't leave Sir Barks-a-Lot. 198 00:14:05,887 --> 00:14:07,931 He's going to miss my birthday. 199 00:14:08,098 --> 00:14:10,267 Sweetie, there is no dog, okay? 200 00:14:10,475 --> 00:14:11,768 Nate, get the dog. 201 00:14:17,107 --> 00:14:18,650 There. 202 00:14:20,902 --> 00:14:23,488 - There you go. - Thanks, Dad. 203 00:14:32,956 --> 00:14:34,040 What the hell? 204 00:14:35,542 --> 00:14:38,336 - Nikki, this better be FTD. Yoo-hoo! 205 00:14:38,420 --> 00:14:42,048 - He's old enough to be your granddaddy. - Or Mom's big daddy. 206 00:14:44,593 --> 00:14:46,052 "Yoo-hoo, Dorothy"? 207 00:14:48,305 --> 00:14:49,764 Nikki. 208 00:14:50,223 --> 00:14:52,475 You ain't tell me Mama's been creeping. 209 00:14:52,642 --> 00:14:55,937 I didn't tell you because you a kid. 210 00:14:56,146 --> 00:14:59,316 - See, there you go. - I'm Nate Johnson. 211 00:15:00,775 --> 00:15:05,363 - We use those flowers for his funeral. - I reserved our table at Starbucks. 212 00:15:06,114 --> 00:15:07,908 Thanks for the book, Stan. 213 00:15:08,074 --> 00:15:10,076 I really can't accept the flowers. 214 00:15:10,285 --> 00:15:12,913 Why not? I spent all week picking them. 215 00:15:13,121 --> 00:15:15,999 - We're study partners, that's it. - What do you mean? 216 00:15:16,499 --> 00:15:19,961 I mean I don't want you to get the wrong idea. 217 00:15:20,378 --> 00:15:22,380 - What's up, bro? - Hello, brother. 218 00:15:23,089 --> 00:15:24,466 Stan Turner. 219 00:15:24,674 --> 00:15:26,343 Nate Johnson. 220 00:15:26,509 --> 00:15:29,930 - Husband, 16 years. - Nate, don't start. 221 00:15:30,138 --> 00:15:33,516 I'm just trying to take my family down to the reunion. 222 00:15:33,683 --> 00:15:37,062 You know us, some Spades, couple of family arguments, 223 00:15:37,270 --> 00:15:38,647 - some softball. - Whoa. 224 00:15:39,230 --> 00:15:41,524 Careful there. Getting just a little... 225 00:15:43,610 --> 00:15:45,695 What is wrong with you? 226 00:15:46,112 --> 00:15:47,989 Stan, wait. 227 00:15:48,198 --> 00:15:51,159 "Stan, wait"? I didn't get the memo. 228 00:15:51,326 --> 00:15:54,746 - When did we start seeing other people? - Nate, don't test me. 229 00:15:54,913 --> 00:15:58,375 I agreed to this trip because it's Destiny's birthday tomorrow. 230 00:15:58,541 --> 00:16:00,335 Fine. Fine. 231 00:16:00,502 --> 00:16:02,170 Fine. 232 00:16:02,337 --> 00:16:03,838 Nate Johnson. 233 00:16:04,005 --> 00:16:07,550 Capricorn. Check my dental records, Jack. 234 00:16:14,641 --> 00:16:16,810 So where'd you meet him? 235 00:16:16,977 --> 00:16:20,105 That so-called accounting class? 236 00:16:20,313 --> 00:16:23,566 So that's what this is all about? Me becoming a CPA? 237 00:16:23,775 --> 00:16:26,486 I thought we settled that when I moved out. 238 00:16:26,695 --> 00:16:30,323 Oh, so I'm the bad guy? Because I wanted you to raise our kids? 239 00:16:30,490 --> 00:16:34,119 I can be a wife, a mother and pursue my career, too. 240 00:16:34,285 --> 00:16:37,664 - Hey, my mother did it. - Right. Yeah. 241 00:16:37,831 --> 00:16:41,251 That's why the last time I saw your brother, he was your sister. 242 00:16:44,838 --> 00:16:46,923 Mommy, I'm hungry. 243 00:16:47,132 --> 00:16:51,261 Hey, Nikki, can you get your sister some Froot Loops, please? 244 00:16:52,595 --> 00:16:55,390 - Shut up. - Destiny, sweetie. 245 00:16:55,890 --> 00:16:58,852 Be very careful in Daddy's new truck. 246 00:16:59,019 --> 00:17:03,481 Look, everybody else, this truck has to go back exactly the way it is. 247 00:17:03,690 --> 00:17:06,276 If you break something, I've gotta pay for it. 248 00:17:08,570 --> 00:17:09,696 Oops. 249 00:17:09,904 --> 00:17:11,322 Sorry, Dad. 250 00:17:11,698 --> 00:17:16,453 That's okay, sweetie. Don't worry about it. 251 00:17:20,457 --> 00:17:25,003 All right, I-10 by 10:03. 252 00:17:25,170 --> 00:17:26,796 Damn. We're late. 253 00:17:45,648 --> 00:17:48,735 You know you ought to slow down. 254 00:17:48,818 --> 00:17:52,489 You've been working too hard and that's a fact. 255 00:17:53,823 --> 00:17:57,368 Sit back and relax a while. 256 00:17:57,911 --> 00:18:01,498 Take the time to laugh and smile 257 00:18:04,084 --> 00:18:07,170 We can do it. Take your time to it right. 258 00:18:07,253 --> 00:18:09,339 We can do it, baby. 259 00:18:09,631 --> 00:18:13,551 Do it tonight Take your time. 260 00:18:15,095 --> 00:18:18,890 - Yo, Dad, who is that? - That's S.O.S., son. 261 00:18:19,099 --> 00:18:21,518 I wish somebody can come rescue me right now. 262 00:18:22,393 --> 00:18:26,147 Now, Nate, be fair. Just load half of your CDs and half of his. 263 00:18:26,356 --> 00:18:29,818 I'll load half of his CDs when he pays half of my car loan. 264 00:18:30,610 --> 00:18:32,237 Nate. 265 00:18:32,737 --> 00:18:37,992 Fine. But I like my music nonviolent with limited cussing. 266 00:18:38,409 --> 00:18:40,578 So nobody who's been shot. 267 00:18:40,745 --> 00:18:42,914 Here, come here. Give me this. 268 00:18:43,123 --> 00:18:45,458 Okay, right here. Tupac Shakur. 269 00:18:45,625 --> 00:18:47,001 Shot. 270 00:18:48,378 --> 00:18:51,214 - Nate. Nate, what... - Notorious B.l. G... 271 00:18:51,422 --> 00:18:54,300 - ...shot. - Hey, Dad, what are you doing? Mom? 272 00:18:54,467 --> 00:18:58,638 - C-Murder... - Wait, stop. Dad, C-Murder wasn't shot. 273 00:18:58,805 --> 00:19:02,225 Yeah, but with a name like that, he should've been. 274 00:19:13,778 --> 00:19:17,782 - Sam Cooke. - Wait, what are you doing? 275 00:19:17,949 --> 00:19:19,242 Shot. 276 00:19:19,450 --> 00:19:22,620 Whoa, whoa, whoa. That's Sam Cooke. That's "born by the river." 277 00:19:22,704 --> 00:19:24,184 You gonna make me pull this car over. 278 00:19:24,247 --> 00:19:25,957 - Marvin Gaye. - Hey, hey. 279 00:19:26,124 --> 00:19:27,500 Shot. 280 00:19:27,709 --> 00:19:30,295 That is one of the greatest singers... 281 00:19:30,461 --> 00:19:32,922 - He threw out Marvin Gaye. - He was shot. 282 00:19:33,089 --> 00:19:34,549 By his daddy. 283 00:19:34,716 --> 00:19:36,551 - Twice. - What are you... 284 00:19:37,927 --> 00:19:40,638 - Al Green. - Wait a minute, now. He wasn't shot. 285 00:19:40,805 --> 00:19:44,976 - That was hot grits. - That was close enough. Shot. 286 00:19:45,185 --> 00:19:48,563 That man is a reverend. My pastor. What is wrong with you? 287 00:19:48,730 --> 00:19:50,523 How am I supposed to go to church? 288 00:19:50,607 --> 00:19:54,068 Daddy, no one's been shot on this one. 289 00:19:56,154 --> 00:20:00,950 Old MacDonald had a farm, E-I-E-I-O. 290 00:20:01,034 --> 00:20:06,122 And on this farm he had a pig, E-I-E-I-O. 291 00:20:06,206 --> 00:20:09,209 With an oink-oink here And an oink-oink there. 292 00:20:10,084 --> 00:20:12,503 Daddy, why aren't you singing? 293 00:20:14,297 --> 00:20:17,133 With a quack-quack here and a quack-quack there. 294 00:20:17,217 --> 00:20:21,471 Here a quack, there a quack Everywhere a quack-quack. 295 00:20:22,347 --> 00:20:23,681 Hey. 296 00:20:23,848 --> 00:20:27,393 - Hey, hey. - Hey. Dad. 297 00:20:28,978 --> 00:20:31,481 - Nate, what are you doing? - Little shortcut. 298 00:20:34,609 --> 00:20:35,860 Yeah. 299 00:20:42,075 --> 00:20:44,077 Oh! 300 00:20:51,292 --> 00:20:54,003 Did you see this fool? What is he... 301 00:20:54,212 --> 00:20:56,422 Come on. 302 00:21:03,263 --> 00:21:08,059 I'll show this redneck what a brother looks like with a V8. Riding 300 horses. 303 00:21:11,062 --> 00:21:16,859 That's right, baby. I got the zoom-zoom for your boom-boom right there. Yeah. 304 00:21:18,111 --> 00:21:22,031 Daddy, look at the cute little baby. 305 00:21:24,367 --> 00:21:26,411 Yeah, sucker. 306 00:21:27,036 --> 00:21:29,163 Tenderwipe that. 307 00:21:35,670 --> 00:21:37,046 Yeah. 308 00:21:37,880 --> 00:21:41,092 That's driving right there. You know what I'm saying? 309 00:21:41,301 --> 00:21:43,303 That's all right, right there. 310 00:21:47,974 --> 00:21:49,767 Hey, Dad. Dad, get the bags. 311 00:21:49,976 --> 00:21:53,563 Everybody all right? Get the bags! Get the Cheez Balls. 312 00:21:54,397 --> 00:21:58,860 All my music... Man, them my church shoes. Oh, my God. 313 00:21:59,068 --> 00:22:01,154 - Nate, do something. - Oh, my God. 314 00:22:01,321 --> 00:22:03,281 - Hold on! - Daddy. 315 00:22:04,490 --> 00:22:07,160 - What is he doing? - Everybody hold on tight! 316 00:22:14,375 --> 00:22:18,588 - You all right, everybody? - Yeah, I'm fine. Guess I showed him. 317 00:22:18,755 --> 00:22:20,506 You sure did. 318 00:22:20,673 --> 00:22:22,884 Oh, my God. 319 00:22:25,053 --> 00:22:26,137 Oh. 320 00:22:28,931 --> 00:22:30,016 Ooh. 321 00:22:30,933 --> 00:22:33,603 That was close there. Anybody else wanna drive? 322 00:22:36,715 --> 00:22:38,916 You are now entering Arizona, 323 00:22:38,941 --> 00:22:41,778 the Grand Canyon state. 324 00:22:51,537 --> 00:22:54,290 Nate, the kids are tired. It's been a long day. 325 00:22:54,457 --> 00:22:56,751 Let's just start fresh tomorrow. 326 00:22:57,835 --> 00:23:01,130 Oh, I guess watching me drive wore you guys out, huh? 327 00:23:02,882 --> 00:23:05,385 We're not scheduled to stop until Boulder City. 328 00:23:05,551 --> 00:23:09,889 I don't plan on stopping till we get there. - Well, that's a shame. 329 00:23:10,223 --> 00:23:13,393 Because there's nothing that I wouldn't do for 330 00:23:13,559 --> 00:23:15,561 a nice, hot 331 00:23:15,728 --> 00:23:17,313 bath. 332 00:23:25,696 --> 00:23:27,573 Anything? 333 00:23:28,866 --> 00:23:30,493 Anything. 334 00:23:53,724 --> 00:23:55,393 All right. 335 00:23:55,893 --> 00:23:58,729 - Dang, Dad. - Here we go. 336 00:23:59,730 --> 00:24:01,357 Okay. 337 00:24:02,483 --> 00:24:05,987 Okay, you guys wait right here, I'll get the rooms. 338 00:24:14,745 --> 00:24:17,623 - Welcome, and here are your keys. - Thank you. 339 00:24:17,790 --> 00:24:20,626 You know, I'm planning a special evening tonight. 340 00:24:20,793 --> 00:24:25,840 Do you have any roses, champagne, box of fine chocolates? 341 00:24:26,007 --> 00:24:27,967 - No. - Oh. 342 00:24:28,301 --> 00:24:32,054 Well, I'll take a couple chocolate Easter bunnies. Let me get the... 343 00:24:32,221 --> 00:24:34,182 diet champagne? 344 00:24:35,808 --> 00:24:39,061 - And all the candles that you have. - We don't carry candles. 345 00:24:39,228 --> 00:24:42,231 Okay, well, is that... Yeah, give me a road flare. 346 00:24:42,440 --> 00:24:45,860 - That's for emergency use only. - This is an emergency. 347 00:24:48,654 --> 00:24:51,157 Does your wife 348 00:24:51,365 --> 00:24:55,828 - know what you're up to? - Well, actually, no, she doesn't. 349 00:24:56,037 --> 00:24:59,415 I'm keeping this a little bit of secret from her. 350 00:24:59,624 --> 00:25:03,252 Oh, yes, I bet. I bet you are. 351 00:25:03,461 --> 00:25:08,382 Listen, player. I don't know what kind of twisted affair you're having 352 00:25:08,549 --> 00:25:11,719 - but it won't happen in my hotel. - Oh, no... Whoa, whoa, whoa. 353 00:25:12,261 --> 00:25:14,055 Please. Look, 354 00:25:14,222 --> 00:25:18,142 I have a surprise evening planned for my lovely wife. 355 00:25:18,309 --> 00:25:21,437 She's right outside in the car with the kids. 356 00:25:21,646 --> 00:25:24,190 I mean, that's why I got the two rooms. 357 00:25:26,817 --> 00:25:30,905 That's the sweetest thing I've heard in years. 358 00:25:33,324 --> 00:25:37,078 And take all your goodies. Free of charge. On me. 359 00:25:37,245 --> 00:25:39,914 Oh, Gladys, you don't have to do all that. Thank you. 360 00:25:40,081 --> 00:25:44,919 Please. Husbands like you give me hope. 361 00:25:45,628 --> 00:25:47,463 You got a brother? 362 00:25:48,214 --> 00:25:50,091 Uncle? 363 00:25:51,050 --> 00:25:53,719 - How old is your son? - Gladys? 364 00:25:53,928 --> 00:25:56,931 - You're cutting off my circulation. - Oh, sorry. 365 00:25:59,350 --> 00:26:00,851 Hey. 366 00:26:01,018 --> 00:26:05,189 Your room isn't ready yet, but I'm going to check on it. 367 00:26:05,356 --> 00:26:07,858 Meanwhile, why don't you 368 00:26:08,025 --> 00:26:10,653 get the kids settled in. 369 00:26:10,820 --> 00:26:13,155 And I'll see you in a second. 370 00:26:23,332 --> 00:26:25,209 Oh, yeah. 371 00:27:39,325 --> 00:27:41,661 Swimming trunks, please. 372 00:27:48,542 --> 00:27:51,087 - Charge it to the room. Thank you. - You got it. 373 00:27:52,004 --> 00:27:54,632 Oh, yes, he does. 374 00:28:06,811 --> 00:28:09,730 - Nate, what are you doing? - I just 375 00:28:09,897 --> 00:28:13,401 brought you a little something to help you relax. 376 00:28:13,609 --> 00:28:16,404 That's what I'm talking about, right there. 377 00:28:16,570 --> 00:28:19,740 Some bubbles with the bubbles. 378 00:28:22,952 --> 00:28:25,079 Plus, some chocolates. 379 00:28:28,791 --> 00:28:31,085 Gonna get in there with you, girl. 380 00:28:32,795 --> 00:28:34,004 Mm-hmm. 381 00:28:35,965 --> 00:28:37,383 Oh! Oh. 382 00:28:40,803 --> 00:28:42,680 That's all right there, boy. 383 00:28:45,266 --> 00:28:46,976 That's a... Whoo. 384 00:28:47,685 --> 00:28:50,604 You in here cooking neck bones, girl? 385 00:28:56,610 --> 00:28:57,737 Whoo. 386 00:29:01,907 --> 00:29:04,952 Gonna fool around, make some coffee in here. All right. 387 00:29:05,119 --> 00:29:07,955 That is... That is wa... That's warm. 388 00:29:08,664 --> 00:29:10,666 Oh, man. 389 00:29:13,085 --> 00:29:15,629 Yeah. You know, 390 00:29:15,796 --> 00:29:19,550 it's been a long time since I've been in our Jacuzzi. 391 00:29:20,468 --> 00:29:23,012 I was thinking, 392 00:29:23,179 --> 00:29:25,765 maybe we can do that thing 393 00:29:26,307 --> 00:29:29,393 we used to do in our Jacuzzi. 394 00:29:29,602 --> 00:29:33,397 Nate. I am not getting my hair wet. 395 00:29:33,564 --> 00:29:36,525 - Besides, we haven't solved anything. - Well, 396 00:29:36,692 --> 00:29:39,487 we could solve one thing right now. 397 00:29:39,653 --> 00:29:44,366 Either here or back up at the room. 398 00:29:44,533 --> 00:29:48,496 - You know, it's been three months. - Yeah, it's been three months. 399 00:29:48,704 --> 00:29:51,499 That's what I'm saying. It's been three months. 400 00:29:51,707 --> 00:29:56,962 - Yeah, three months. - Right. Ninety days, right? 401 00:29:58,255 --> 00:30:02,510 How about we go up to the roof. 402 00:30:02,676 --> 00:30:04,136 Oh, yeah? 403 00:30:04,303 --> 00:30:08,808 Or better yet, why don't we go out to the truck. 404 00:30:09,016 --> 00:30:12,436 No, baby. Anywhere but the truck. I got to turn that back in. 405 00:30:12,645 --> 00:30:16,315 Maybe we can do... 406 00:30:19,693 --> 00:30:22,154 - Really? - Mm-hmm. 407 00:30:22,404 --> 00:30:23,906 - No. - Yeah. 408 00:30:24,073 --> 00:30:25,908 You serious? 409 00:30:26,075 --> 00:30:28,327 In here? You serious? 410 00:30:28,828 --> 00:30:31,664 We ain't never done that before, girl. 411 00:30:32,206 --> 00:30:35,084 Girl, you're crazy. You wild. 412 00:30:35,251 --> 00:30:37,753 You going back to your old days. 413 00:30:39,713 --> 00:30:42,550 Yeah. All right, come on, your turn. 414 00:30:43,592 --> 00:30:44,802 Um... 415 00:30:44,885 --> 00:30:47,221 You know, I gotta go to the bathroom. 416 00:30:47,388 --> 00:30:51,058 I'll be right back. Bathroom. 417 00:30:52,601 --> 00:30:57,273 Dorothy, you coming back, right? Don't just leave me out here all alone. 418 00:30:57,857 --> 00:31:00,401 Dorothy, come on, quit playing. 419 00:31:01,443 --> 00:31:03,904 - Oh, no. - Good night, Nate. 420 00:31:04,113 --> 00:31:05,531 Dorothy! 421 00:31:05,698 --> 00:31:07,867 All right... Dorothy. 422 00:31:08,033 --> 00:31:09,660 See what you did? 423 00:31:11,412 --> 00:31:14,498 Come on, Dorothy. Why you... 424 00:31:41,150 --> 00:31:43,444 What the hell? What's going on? 425 00:31:46,572 --> 00:31:49,325 Why y'all all up on me? 426 00:31:56,498 --> 00:31:58,334 Yeah. 427 00:31:58,626 --> 00:31:59,835 Uh-oh. 428 00:32:00,377 --> 00:32:02,963 Ladies, if y'all see a snake, 429 00:32:03,172 --> 00:32:06,008 trust me, he won't bite you. 430 00:32:08,218 --> 00:32:12,389 - Diet champagne. - Easter bunnies, my favorite. 431 00:32:16,310 --> 00:32:18,228 What the... 432 00:32:21,982 --> 00:32:23,067 Ohhh. 433 00:32:23,484 --> 00:32:25,402 Nate. 434 00:32:37,122 --> 00:32:40,125 So. Mr. Johnson. 435 00:32:40,334 --> 00:32:43,420 - Which one's your wife? - It's not what it looks like. 436 00:32:43,629 --> 00:32:47,049 Well, guess you won't be needing these. 437 00:32:47,216 --> 00:32:49,551 Oh, no, come on. I'm gonna need those. 438 00:32:49,927 --> 00:32:51,845 Come on, Gladys... 439 00:32:53,472 --> 00:32:57,267 Well, ladies, 440 00:32:57,434 --> 00:33:02,731 I have to go see a man about a horse. Get out of here... 441 00:33:02,940 --> 00:33:06,110 Y'all have a pleasant evening. Watch it. 442 00:33:06,276 --> 00:33:09,071 - Hey, come on, now. - We won't peek. 443 00:33:09,154 --> 00:33:10,406 Hey. Oh. 444 00:33:13,117 --> 00:33:16,829 - I saw you. Watch your hands. - Bull's-eye. Bull's-eye. 445 00:33:17,037 --> 00:33:21,375 I'm not like that. Come on, now, I belong to somebody, okay? Come on. 446 00:33:21,583 --> 00:33:24,086 Now, y'all don't look. I'm shy. Don't... 447 00:33:24,920 --> 00:33:26,380 Whoo! 448 00:33:28,340 --> 00:33:30,217 Who did your bikini wax? 449 00:33:34,972 --> 00:33:37,224 Hey, girl. How was the treatment? 450 00:33:37,307 --> 00:33:39,351 It was wonderful. 451 00:34:01,165 --> 00:34:05,836 There'll be plenty of time for that tomorrow, okay? 452 00:34:08,630 --> 00:34:10,924 Hey. Tom. Judy. 453 00:34:11,133 --> 00:34:13,719 How you guys doing? It's a mighty fine evening. 454 00:34:13,927 --> 00:34:18,265 Get rid of the kids and the clothes. We're all playing butt-naked UNO up in 304. 455 00:34:29,985 --> 00:34:31,653 Nate. 456 00:34:32,946 --> 00:34:34,364 Yes? 457 00:34:36,200 --> 00:34:38,035 You know what you're doing? 458 00:34:38,327 --> 00:34:39,578 Mm-hmm. 459 00:34:39,787 --> 00:34:42,998 - Well, could you stop? - Nope. 460 00:34:43,207 --> 00:34:46,418 Why take this out on me? You brought this on yourself. 461 00:34:51,840 --> 00:34:53,383 - Hello? - Hello, pumpkin. 462 00:34:53,592 --> 00:34:57,012 - Hey, you. - Where are you? 463 00:34:57,221 --> 00:35:00,015 Outside of Santa Fe, New Mexico. 464 00:35:00,224 --> 00:35:02,434 - "You"? Who is "you"? - Stan, please, 465 00:35:03,602 --> 00:35:05,854 - I'm with my family. - I understand... 466 00:35:07,898 --> 00:35:09,483 - Study partner, my... - Dad. 467 00:35:09,691 --> 00:35:13,445 What's that big building over there, right over there? That's a mall? 468 00:35:13,862 --> 00:35:16,615 It's more than a mall, sweetie. That's Outlet 800. 469 00:35:16,782 --> 00:35:19,743 It's over 800 top designers' wholesale outlets. 470 00:35:19,910 --> 00:35:24,248 - I just read about it in my travel guide. - Daddy, can we stop and check it out? 471 00:35:24,456 --> 00:35:27,126 Oh, no, sweetie. No, no. 472 00:35:27,334 --> 00:35:32,297 No can do. We could lose the afternoon in their state-of-the-art day spa they built. 473 00:35:32,464 --> 00:35:36,009 It's great, but know what? I got something better planned for us. 474 00:35:36,176 --> 00:35:39,054 We'll stop at Little Tanawanda Village. 475 00:35:39,263 --> 00:35:42,391 Nikki, that was your favorite place when you were little. 476 00:35:42,558 --> 00:35:44,059 Nate, she was 2 years old. 477 00:35:44,226 --> 00:35:46,645 I didn't sign up for an old Indian village, 478 00:35:46,812 --> 00:35:50,816 or to see the world's largest ball of yarn. You said family reunion. 479 00:35:50,983 --> 00:35:55,154 That means straight to Caruthersville and straight back. "The I-10 by 10." 480 00:35:57,322 --> 00:36:00,450 Oh, yeah, that's funny. That's funny, Dorothy. 481 00:36:00,617 --> 00:36:02,953 You know what? This is important, okay? 482 00:36:03,328 --> 00:36:06,165 Now, I didn't tell you this before, but 483 00:36:06,331 --> 00:36:09,334 I'm 1/8th and 3/14ths Cherokee. 484 00:36:09,418 --> 00:36:11,587 That's why I got the baby hair. 485 00:36:11,670 --> 00:36:14,840 - And sometime I have to shave... - Where's this baby hair? 486 00:36:15,007 --> 00:36:16,884 You know that get me started. 487 00:36:31,481 --> 00:36:34,526 Man, I'm not... Pardon me. 488 00:36:34,693 --> 00:36:38,739 Excuse me, can you tell me, where's Little Tanawanda? 489 00:36:38,947 --> 00:36:40,532 This is Little Tanawanda. 490 00:36:43,327 --> 00:36:45,579 - Dad, I'm in the arcade. - Okay, son. 491 00:36:45,746 --> 00:36:51,501 You mean to tell me that this is Little Tanawanda? 492 00:36:51,710 --> 00:36:55,547 - Yeah. - Okay. All right. My man. 493 00:36:56,673 --> 00:36:59,134 Why don't you just lead me to some, 494 00:36:59,301 --> 00:37:05,432 real, old-school Indians that are still keeping it real. 495 00:37:06,516 --> 00:37:09,978 Wait right here. I think I know someone 496 00:37:10,187 --> 00:37:14,983 who can show you how to get to where the real Indians live. 497 00:37:15,150 --> 00:37:17,027 - Thank you. - Be right back. 498 00:37:17,527 --> 00:37:20,072 Hey, Navarro, we got a big spender over here, 499 00:37:20,280 --> 00:37:22,699 wants to know where the real Indians live. 500 00:37:22,908 --> 00:37:24,743 Daddy, can we go now? 501 00:37:24,910 --> 00:37:29,081 Just a second, babe, all right? I got a little something working right here. 502 00:37:37,589 --> 00:37:38,924 Dad, can we go now? 503 00:37:39,132 --> 00:37:42,386 Hey, we're about to get directions to a real Indian village. 504 00:37:42,552 --> 00:37:45,722 Daddy, I don't care about no Indian village. All I want... 505 00:37:47,808 --> 00:37:51,436 Take our time and get those directions. 506 00:37:52,145 --> 00:37:53,522 How. 507 00:37:54,022 --> 00:37:56,358 - My name is Navarro. - Uh-huh. 508 00:37:56,566 --> 00:38:00,320 I hear you seek real Indian village. I think I can help you 509 00:38:01,446 --> 00:38:02,864 and your daughter. 510 00:38:03,198 --> 00:38:04,950 We are here. 511 00:38:06,868 --> 00:38:08,370 Way at the top. 512 00:38:08,578 --> 00:38:12,040 If you follow Running Bear River south, as the sparrow flies, 513 00:38:13,375 --> 00:38:16,878 then take Walking Buffalo Road east a half moon to the crossing... 514 00:38:16,962 --> 00:38:18,380 Whoa, whoa, whoa. 515 00:38:19,131 --> 00:38:22,175 That's way too much energy there, Red Bull. 516 00:38:22,342 --> 00:38:23,927 All right? Bring it down. 517 00:38:24,344 --> 00:38:27,306 And then ride bareback 20 horse trots. 518 00:38:27,514 --> 00:38:31,143 I'm in a truck, all right? A Lincoln Navigator. 519 00:38:31,351 --> 00:38:33,979 Just take I-53 northeast. 520 00:38:35,230 --> 00:38:37,566 Okay, I'm gonna check out the service road. 521 00:38:37,733 --> 00:38:39,568 - What was your name? - Navarro. 522 00:38:39,735 --> 00:38:41,903 - Okay, I see what... - Okay. 523 00:38:42,154 --> 00:38:44,990 In the land of my ancestors, some tribes may be 524 00:38:45,198 --> 00:38:46,700 reluctant to embrace you. 525 00:38:46,867 --> 00:38:50,871 Therefore, I recommend you wear something that gives you authority. 526 00:38:51,038 --> 00:38:54,333 Oh, yeah. Yeah. I remember wearing one of these. 527 00:38:54,541 --> 00:38:57,669 Yeah, that's right. I can make it rain. Hi, how are you. 528 00:38:57,836 --> 00:39:00,047 Hi, how are you. Hi, how are you 529 00:39:00,255 --> 00:39:04,092 I'm going to lunch. Here's my number in case you get lost. 530 00:39:04,259 --> 00:39:05,844 There you go. All right. 531 00:39:06,011 --> 00:39:09,014 Hey, back off my daughter, man, 532 00:39:09,222 --> 00:39:12,142 before you end up being called Little Broken Jaw. 533 00:39:12,642 --> 00:39:16,021 - Daddy, what are you doing? - Come here. What is your problem? 534 00:39:16,188 --> 00:39:20,025 You know what? I am not a little girl anymore. Those days are way over. 535 00:39:20,192 --> 00:39:23,653 - I can handle myself. - You can what? You know what? 536 00:39:23,820 --> 00:39:26,406 You're gonna get handled, you keep talking... 537 00:39:26,615 --> 00:39:29,534 You've been gone 3 months and you tell me what to do? 538 00:39:29,701 --> 00:39:31,536 You live up the street, remember? 539 00:39:31,703 --> 00:39:35,290 You remember you're gonna need allowance money, that's what... 540 00:39:35,665 --> 00:39:37,042 Get in the car. 541 00:39:39,378 --> 00:39:44,216 And you, I don't fight an Indian, all right? I dance with wolves, okay? 542 00:39:50,972 --> 00:39:53,225 And as for you, little Miss Pocahontas, 543 00:39:53,767 --> 00:39:57,062 until we get to the reunion, your fast tail is grounded. 544 00:39:57,270 --> 00:40:00,357 - You can't ground me in no oar. - I can't ground you? 545 00:40:00,565 --> 00:40:02,150 How about no more TV. 546 00:40:02,359 --> 00:40:05,529 - So? I ain't watching no TV. - No more computer. 547 00:40:08,115 --> 00:40:10,033 - And no more cell phone. - Daddy. 548 00:40:11,034 --> 00:40:13,453 See? Just like home. 549 00:40:24,492 --> 00:40:26,733 You are now entering Colorado, 550 00:40:26,758 --> 00:40:28,427 the Centennial State. 551 00:40:32,597 --> 00:40:35,725 Look, Daddy. That lady needs a ride. 552 00:40:41,356 --> 00:40:45,777 Kids, look, if I'd never taught you anything else, never pick up strangers. 553 00:40:45,944 --> 00:40:49,072 She could have just as well been a serial killer. 554 00:40:58,081 --> 00:41:02,669 We are in the middle of nowhere. Tell me you're not about to pick up a hitchhiker. 555 00:41:02,836 --> 00:41:04,838 Baby, what would Jesus do? 556 00:41:09,134 --> 00:41:12,888 Thanks for picking me up. And opening the door. 557 00:41:13,054 --> 00:41:15,432 No one does that no more. 558 00:41:15,599 --> 00:41:17,267 You must be a real man. 559 00:41:21,605 --> 00:41:25,442 I'm Nate Johnson and that's Nikki. 560 00:41:25,650 --> 00:41:27,569 - Hi. - That's D.J. 561 00:41:27,777 --> 00:41:30,113 - Hey, what's up? - And that's little Destiny. 562 00:41:31,364 --> 00:41:34,659 And this is Dorothy. She lives down the street. 563 00:41:35,952 --> 00:41:38,121 - Daddy. - Well, it's true. She does. 564 00:41:38,288 --> 00:41:39,664 So, what's your name? 565 00:41:39,873 --> 00:41:43,835 Chrishelle. Chrishelle Rene Boudreaux. 566 00:41:44,002 --> 00:41:46,213 Boudreaux? You hear that? 567 00:41:46,421 --> 00:41:49,341 Don't we have some Boudreauxs down in Shreveport? 568 00:41:49,508 --> 00:41:52,177 You know, I thought you had that Johnson look. 569 00:41:52,719 --> 00:41:55,889 If you're family, you should go to Caruthersville with us. 570 00:41:56,056 --> 00:41:58,475 - It's our family reunion. - D.J., you can't 571 00:41:58,683 --> 00:42:00,936 give out that information to strangers. 572 00:42:01,436 --> 00:42:02,979 No offense, Chrishelle. 573 00:42:03,188 --> 00:42:08,693 I understand. There are some crazy people out there. 574 00:42:09,736 --> 00:42:12,322 Hey, Nikki, take a picture of me and Chrishelle. 575 00:42:12,489 --> 00:42:13,823 No, no, no. 576 00:42:14,658 --> 00:42:18,495 Some people say if you're ever caught on film, you lose your soul. 577 00:42:26,711 --> 00:42:29,381 Are we there yet? I'm starving. 578 00:42:29,548 --> 00:42:33,134 No, Daddy, I'm about to pass out. 579 00:42:33,343 --> 00:42:39,015 Hold on, everyone. Heaven is just around the corner. Bun World, one mile. 580 00:42:40,267 --> 00:42:43,061 I want Chuck E. Cheese. 581 00:42:43,895 --> 00:42:47,399 What are you doing? Are your braids too tight? Put that down. 582 00:42:47,566 --> 00:42:50,819 You know we say grace. And since Chrishelle is our guest, 583 00:42:51,027 --> 00:42:53,905 I'd like you to bless the food. If you don't mind. 584 00:42:55,865 --> 00:42:58,994 Sure. All right. Close your eyes. 585 00:42:59,202 --> 00:43:02,414 - God is great, God is... - Daddy, Sir Barks-a-Lot ran away. 586 00:43:03,540 --> 00:43:06,376 No, baby. No, he didn't. Now, come on. 587 00:43:06,543 --> 00:43:09,129 Sweetie. Okay, all right. 588 00:43:09,337 --> 00:43:13,216 - I love you, Sir Barks-a-Lot. - Sit back down. Will you finish saying... 589 00:43:13,425 --> 00:43:16,136 - Honey, you got me. - Sorry, Daddy. 590 00:43:16,219 --> 00:43:18,597 - I'll get it. - No, you won't. 591 00:43:19,264 --> 00:43:20,849 - What? - Look, 592 00:43:21,016 --> 00:43:25,228 I'm gonna go to the restroom and get this off. Finish blessing the food. 593 00:43:29,399 --> 00:43:31,776 Excuse me. I called about the birthday cake. 594 00:43:31,943 --> 00:43:34,112 They're doing the finishing touches now. 595 00:43:34,571 --> 00:43:37,324 - Where is your bathroom? - Just past the pool table. 596 00:43:39,951 --> 00:43:44,331 God is great, God is good. Let us thank him for our food. 597 00:43:44,623 --> 00:43:47,250 Friends of the night, please cover us. 598 00:43:47,417 --> 00:43:52,088 Black as a pit, deeper than the depths of the abyss. 599 00:43:52,255 --> 00:43:58,553 I call upon the power of darkness to help me cast this unbreakable spell. 600 00:43:59,220 --> 00:44:01,139 Make us all as one, 601 00:44:01,348 --> 00:44:07,187 Chrishelle, Dorothy, Nikki, Destiny, Nate and his son. 602 00:44:08,938 --> 00:44:10,023 Amen. 603 00:44:12,108 --> 00:44:15,403 Okay. Alrighty. Here we go. 604 00:44:24,496 --> 00:44:26,539 Hey, buddy, you okay in there? 605 00:44:26,748 --> 00:44:30,251 Because it smell like the circus done came to town. 606 00:44:34,547 --> 00:44:37,842 Damn it. No toilet paper. 607 00:44:38,593 --> 00:44:39,761 Oh, Well. 608 00:44:47,143 --> 00:44:49,104 Ah, my cake spatula. 609 00:44:50,563 --> 00:44:52,273 Almost forgot that. 610 00:44:52,607 --> 00:44:56,111 Hey, buddy, you know how to spell Destiny? Never mind. 611 00:44:56,277 --> 00:44:59,447 I'll figure it out. Enjoy your lunch. 612 00:45:05,662 --> 00:45:09,332 I know the Navigator is supposed to seat eight people comfortably 613 00:45:09,499 --> 00:45:12,669 but I don't think they meant all in the front seat. 614 00:45:38,862 --> 00:45:41,489 Dorothy, I've got us a couple of rooms here. 615 00:45:41,698 --> 00:45:44,951 - One for guys, one for girls. - Looks like we're roommates. 616 00:45:45,160 --> 00:45:47,495 - Yeah, adjoining rooms. - Nate, sweetie, 617 00:45:48,371 --> 00:45:51,666 why don't we give our guest a room for herself. 618 00:45:51,833 --> 00:45:55,420 You know how Destiny loves to snore the paint off the walls. 619 00:45:55,587 --> 00:45:58,214 And you can sleep with me and the kids. 620 00:45:58,423 --> 00:46:02,093 Oh, yeah, that's funny. Maybe we can just meet in the hot tub again. 621 00:46:02,886 --> 00:46:04,053 I don't mind sharing. 622 00:46:04,262 --> 00:46:07,390 - Snoring doesn't bother me none. - See, she doesn't mind. 623 00:46:07,557 --> 00:46:11,394 No, Nate, I insist you sleep with me. 624 00:46:11,561 --> 00:46:15,148 Okay, all right, the begging is not becoming of you. 625 00:46:16,858 --> 00:46:18,193 Good night. 626 00:46:19,152 --> 00:46:21,404 I'll see y'all tomorrow. 627 00:46:25,492 --> 00:46:27,660 I'll see you in a minute. 628 00:46:27,869 --> 00:46:30,997 - What is going on? - You're slacking on your pimping, Dad. 629 00:46:31,164 --> 00:46:33,416 You need to ditch her. 630 00:46:33,833 --> 00:46:37,253 Let me see those toes. Are they nice and clean? Yeah? 631 00:46:37,420 --> 00:46:38,922 - Yeah, Mom. - Yeah, Mom. 632 00:46:47,722 --> 00:46:50,308 - Stop playing. - You stop. 633 00:46:53,269 --> 00:46:55,271 - Go back. - Stop hogging the TV. 634 00:46:55,939 --> 00:46:58,149 Why don't you go talk on your cell phone. 635 00:46:58,316 --> 00:47:01,194 Oh, I forgot. You grounded. 636 00:47:01,361 --> 00:47:03,905 - I can't stand your little butt. - Capital G... 637 00:47:04,072 --> 00:47:07,700 - Why'd you do that? Why'd you do that? - All right. Enough. 638 00:47:08,827 --> 00:47:12,080 I guess I found the only Chuck E. Cheese in the whole state. 639 00:47:12,247 --> 00:47:13,957 I'm the oldest. I'm the oldest. 640 00:47:14,165 --> 00:47:16,751 Settle down. No one eats until your sister eats. 641 00:47:16,918 --> 00:47:18,419 - It's her birthday. - Daddy. 642 00:47:18,711 --> 00:47:20,088 Okay. 643 00:47:20,255 --> 00:47:22,006 All right. 644 00:47:22,632 --> 00:47:24,592 Here we go. 645 00:47:24,759 --> 00:47:26,678 I hope she enjoys this. 646 00:47:26,845 --> 00:47:30,348 Destiny? Daddy's got a surprise for you. 647 00:47:30,932 --> 00:47:36,437 Lovin'you has made my life so beautiful. 648 00:47:37,355 --> 00:47:42,944 And every day of my life is filled with lovin' you 649 00:47:53,496 --> 00:47:54,831 Hit it. 650 00:47:58,668 --> 00:48:00,378 You got it. 651 00:48:18,813 --> 00:48:23,192 Nate, stop it. Stay on your side of the bed. 652 00:48:25,904 --> 00:48:28,907 Nate, I'm serious, now. 653 00:48:30,325 --> 00:48:33,161 Hey, it's not me. I'm on my side. 654 00:48:36,331 --> 00:48:40,543 - Stop hogging all the covers. - All right, all right. 655 00:49:07,028 --> 00:49:08,613 Aaah! 656 00:49:08,696 --> 00:49:10,281 What? 657 00:49:12,116 --> 00:49:14,577 Get up! Get up, Dorothy! Get up, kids! 658 00:49:14,786 --> 00:49:17,455 There's an alligator over there! Get up! Get up! 659 00:49:17,664 --> 00:49:19,248 - Daddy! - Alligator. 660 00:49:22,377 --> 00:49:24,879 I'm gonna do something! I'm gonna do something. 661 00:49:28,007 --> 00:49:29,759 Use the shoe! Do the shoe! 662 00:49:29,968 --> 00:49:32,011 All right, I got it! I got it. 663 00:49:32,220 --> 00:49:35,056 - Careful, Daddy. - Dad, the shoe! The shoe! 664 00:49:43,481 --> 00:49:45,358 - Daddy! - Everybody get back there. 665 00:49:45,566 --> 00:49:48,277 - Daddy, go get that alligator, Dad. - Hit it hard! 666 00:49:48,486 --> 00:49:50,405 Go get the alligator! Kill him! 667 00:49:50,613 --> 00:49:53,449 Stop this! I know what I'm doing! I got what I'm... 668 00:49:53,616 --> 00:49:56,285 - I don't know what I'm doing. - Daddy, be careful. 669 00:49:56,703 --> 00:49:59,038 Daddy, you're struggling. You're struggling. 670 00:49:59,247 --> 00:50:01,249 Daddy, I'm coming. I'm helping you. 671 00:50:01,416 --> 00:50:04,585 D.J. D.J., no, don't go in there. 672 00:50:07,005 --> 00:50:08,673 I got you. I got you. 673 00:50:10,383 --> 00:50:12,969 - Get him, Dad. - I got him. 674 00:50:13,177 --> 00:50:16,389 Get him, Dad. Punch him. 675 00:50:16,597 --> 00:50:18,433 He'll beat you up. 676 00:50:18,641 --> 00:50:20,518 - I got him. Yeah. - Get him, Dad. 677 00:50:21,477 --> 00:50:23,980 - Hey, hold up. - I got him. I got him. 678 00:50:24,147 --> 00:50:28,526 You can't drown no alligator. They live in water. This their habitat. 679 00:50:28,735 --> 00:50:31,779 - I'm gonna flush him. - That's right, Dad. Flush him. 680 00:50:31,988 --> 00:50:34,991 - Twinky? Twinky. - Twinky? 681 00:50:35,158 --> 00:50:37,577 It's not bath night. 682 00:50:37,785 --> 00:50:40,872 - You know this thing? - Oh, come to Mama. 683 00:50:41,039 --> 00:50:45,168 - Oh, Twinky wouldn't hurt a fly. - Let's go. 684 00:50:47,587 --> 00:50:50,923 Shh. Dorothy, your shoes are too noisy. Take them off. 685 00:50:51,007 --> 00:50:52,967 - D.J., carry Destiny. - I got her. 686 00:50:57,538 --> 00:50:59,699 You are now entering Kansas, 687 00:50:59,724 --> 00:51:01,893 the Sunflower State. 688 00:51:14,655 --> 00:51:17,325 Yo, Dad, can we pull over? 689 00:51:17,492 --> 00:51:21,829 No, son, we can't stop. I can already smell my mama's cooking. 690 00:51:22,663 --> 00:51:25,458 But I really need to go. It'll only take a sec. 691 00:51:25,666 --> 00:51:28,336 D.J., we just stopped in WaKeeney. 692 00:51:29,003 --> 00:51:32,423 I warned you about drinking all those Pepsis so close together. 693 00:51:32,590 --> 00:51:35,259 You're just gonna have to learn a lesson. 694 00:51:35,468 --> 00:51:38,262 Think of something dry, like 695 00:51:38,471 --> 00:51:40,473 your mama's meat loaf. 696 00:51:40,723 --> 00:51:43,226 - Come on, Dad. - We are not stopping. 697 00:52:34,485 --> 00:52:35,820 You know, son, 698 00:52:36,028 --> 00:52:38,239 the only reason I'm hard on you is 699 00:52:38,406 --> 00:52:41,659 because one day you'll wear the pants in your own family. 700 00:52:42,410 --> 00:52:44,245 People will depend on you. 701 00:52:44,745 --> 00:52:49,417 Now, how can they do that if your pants are hanging all off your behind? 702 00:52:49,625 --> 00:52:52,962 What are you gonna do if the rap thing doesn't work out? 703 00:52:53,796 --> 00:52:57,300 Well, I was thinking about law school 704 00:52:57,508 --> 00:53:00,052 or medical school. 705 00:53:00,261 --> 00:53:03,181 But then, Mom says she'll help me incorporate. 706 00:53:03,806 --> 00:53:08,311 So I was thinking about coming out with my own line of hip-hop pajamas. 707 00:53:08,477 --> 00:53:09,770 Pajamas? 708 00:53:09,937 --> 00:53:13,566 You know how Puffy has Sean John and then Jigga has Rocawear? 709 00:53:13,774 --> 00:53:15,234 - My goodness. - Check this out: 710 00:53:15,443 --> 00:53:20,448 "D.J.'s P.J.s, baggy always." Bad. 711 00:53:20,656 --> 00:53:24,327 I told your mom not to stand by the microwave when she was pregnant. 712 00:53:33,461 --> 00:53:35,379 Wait a minute. What the hell? 713 00:53:36,797 --> 00:53:38,299 Wait a minute. 714 00:53:38,633 --> 00:53:42,887 Stan? Stan. Yeah, right. 715 00:53:45,514 --> 00:53:46,933 There you go, Stanley. 716 00:53:58,694 --> 00:54:00,029 Yeah. 717 00:54:02,365 --> 00:54:04,492 Man, where is my... 718 00:54:05,910 --> 00:54:10,498 - Let me get a swallow of your drink. - No, no, no. Dad, don't drink that. 719 00:54:11,624 --> 00:54:14,460 No, Dad. Dad. Wait. 720 00:54:14,669 --> 00:54:16,003 What the... 721 00:54:21,175 --> 00:54:22,426 Uh-oh. 722 00:54:23,344 --> 00:54:24,762 I wouldn't have done that. 723 00:54:27,306 --> 00:54:30,685 Look, I've been driving since before you were born, okay? 724 00:54:30,851 --> 00:54:32,603 - But you hit a cop. - I hit a cop? 725 00:54:32,812 --> 00:54:34,522 Yep, I hit a cop. 726 00:54:35,481 --> 00:54:36,607 Aaah! 727 00:54:36,691 --> 00:54:38,025 Dad, we off the road. 728 00:54:39,026 --> 00:54:40,069 Whoa. 729 00:54:40,152 --> 00:54:41,237 Nate, stop! 730 00:54:41,362 --> 00:54:42,571 Whoa, whoa. 731 00:54:43,781 --> 00:54:46,909 Hey, Dad, what are you doing? Watch out for the truck. 732 00:54:51,289 --> 00:54:53,416 No! No. 733 00:54:53,624 --> 00:54:57,295 Come on, man. No, come on. I gotta take this car back. 734 00:55:02,842 --> 00:55:04,135 Come on, man, this is... 735 00:55:04,218 --> 00:55:06,971 You are now entering China. 736 00:55:08,472 --> 00:55:09,765 Man, the... 737 00:55:09,932 --> 00:55:13,936 I mean, it's gonna cost me a fortune. This is ridiculous. 738 00:55:14,145 --> 00:55:16,063 Oh, now the cops. 739 00:55:20,860 --> 00:55:24,071 Look, we'll be out of this thing in 60 seconds. 740 00:55:25,948 --> 00:55:27,908 Hey, hey, officer. What's going on? 741 00:55:28,117 --> 00:55:32,121 CHiPs, I liked that show. You kind of like a chocolate chip. 742 00:55:32,288 --> 00:55:33,748 You know, those Chip Ahoy. 743 00:55:33,956 --> 00:55:36,292 - Nate, is everything okay? - I can see 744 00:55:36,459 --> 00:55:39,337 it's a little hot out here, you got... 745 00:55:39,545 --> 00:55:42,882 Look, man, I'm just trying to take my family to the reunion. 746 00:55:43,090 --> 00:55:46,344 Know what I'm saying? Can you hook a brother up, brother? 747 00:55:48,637 --> 00:55:51,849 Under arrest? All of us? For what, man? 748 00:55:52,058 --> 00:55:56,020 Like you don't know. You got rapper rims wrapped around your tires 749 00:55:56,187 --> 00:55:58,939 like you had your lips around this reefer pipe. 750 00:55:59,148 --> 00:56:04,445 You should be ashamed of yourself, using that poor little girl like a pack mule. 751 00:56:05,112 --> 00:56:09,033 If we were two counties south, you would be in the chair. 752 00:56:09,200 --> 00:56:11,702 Oh, yeah? Yeah, and I'll sue. I'll sue. 753 00:56:11,869 --> 00:56:13,871 Matter of fact, open up the gate. 754 00:56:14,038 --> 00:56:17,041 Open it. There ain't nothing but space and opportunity. 755 00:56:17,208 --> 00:56:19,251 That's right. Big old swollen-up self. 756 00:56:19,460 --> 00:56:22,546 What's that supposed to be? What you gonna do with that? 757 00:56:24,507 --> 00:56:25,549 Daddy. 758 00:56:27,510 --> 00:56:28,928 Mama. 759 00:56:33,516 --> 00:56:36,602 Hey. Hey, brother. I mean, officer. 760 00:56:38,020 --> 00:56:40,523 I apologize, Mac. So can we all go now? 761 00:56:41,107 --> 00:56:42,650 Tell it to the judge Monday. 762 00:56:43,025 --> 00:56:46,862 Monday? Man, I gotta be in Caruthersville by tomorrow. 763 00:56:49,073 --> 00:56:53,160 I don't care where the hell you gotta be. You stay here and you shut up. 764 00:56:53,369 --> 00:56:55,496 I have an audit tomorrow. 765 00:56:55,704 --> 00:56:57,164 Destiny? 766 00:56:57,373 --> 00:57:01,252 - Muffins. Tell your mother for me... - Daddy, 767 00:57:01,460 --> 00:57:03,629 you said not to talk to drug dealers. 768 00:57:03,838 --> 00:57:06,590 - What is going on? - I said, shut it. 769 00:57:06,966 --> 00:57:09,093 Excuse me. Sheriff? 770 00:57:09,301 --> 00:57:13,556 If you use the 1040 long form, you can write off more 771 00:57:13,722 --> 00:57:16,684 - than just doughnuts. - What else could I write off? 772 00:57:26,777 --> 00:57:29,572 - Mom's off the chain, huh? - Yeah, she likes this. 773 00:57:30,698 --> 00:57:32,533 She all right. 774 00:57:32,741 --> 00:57:36,120 I'm still gonna go to Harold's Waffles and Check Cashing 775 00:57:36,287 --> 00:57:37,621 to get my taxes done. 776 00:57:39,665 --> 00:57:44,503 See, officer, your biggest problem was not enough pre-tax write-offs. That's all. 777 00:57:46,005 --> 00:57:48,466 Well, thank you, pretty lady. 778 00:57:50,217 --> 00:57:51,719 What can I do for you? 779 00:57:51,886 --> 00:57:54,430 How about keys? 780 00:58:04,440 --> 00:58:10,821 Nate, the reunion's tomorrow. We're out of cash. We look a mess. 781 00:58:11,363 --> 00:58:14,033 Let's just pull over and get ourselves together. 782 00:58:14,200 --> 00:58:18,287 No. No. Dorothy, no. Nothing is gonna stop me from getting that trophy. 783 00:58:18,496 --> 00:58:20,581 No food stops, no bathroom breaks. 784 00:58:20,748 --> 00:58:22,917 Anybody who's tired can sleep in the car. 785 00:58:23,125 --> 00:58:26,962 Nate, no. Nate, look at our kids. 786 00:58:32,718 --> 00:58:34,512 - Okay. - Okay. 787 00:58:34,678 --> 00:58:36,680 All right. I hear you. 788 00:58:36,847 --> 00:58:38,641 We'll pull over. 789 00:58:38,849 --> 00:58:39,892 Thank you. 790 00:58:54,615 --> 00:58:55,950 No way. 791 00:58:57,451 --> 00:58:58,702 Nuh-uh. 792 00:58:59,370 --> 00:59:02,206 Nope, that's it. Hold on. We're going. 793 00:59:06,168 --> 00:59:10,214 Fine, Nate. You can drag us to this family reunion if you want to 794 00:59:10,422 --> 00:59:13,259 but don't expect me to pretend we're perfect 795 00:59:13,425 --> 00:59:16,595 - just to impress your mama. - What do you mean by that? 796 00:59:16,804 --> 00:59:19,348 If she asks me how we're doing, I'll tell her. 797 00:59:19,557 --> 00:59:22,184 No, you're not. No. No, Dorothy, no. 798 00:59:22,351 --> 00:59:25,020 She was against our marriage from the beginning. 799 00:59:25,187 --> 00:59:28,190 I don't care how hard you try, you will not give her 800 00:59:28,357 --> 00:59:31,193 - the satisfaction of being right. - Watch me. 801 00:59:45,666 --> 00:59:48,419 Nate, how long has the warning light been on? 802 00:59:48,627 --> 00:59:51,130 Don't worry. We're not gonna run out of gas. 803 00:59:51,922 --> 00:59:53,299 Trust me. 804 00:59:58,554 --> 01:00:03,934 - Oh, shoot. - Oh, you gotta be kidding. 805 01:00:07,938 --> 01:00:09,607 Come on. 806 01:00:13,402 --> 01:00:16,739 - Oh, come on, come on. - All right. 807 01:00:18,741 --> 01:00:23,704 Okay. All right, look, don't panic, okay? We can still make it to the reunion. 808 01:00:23,912 --> 01:00:26,332 All right, I'll just make a call. 809 01:00:26,498 --> 01:00:29,209 Oh, come on. I forgot to recharge the batteries. 810 01:00:30,127 --> 01:00:32,630 Oh, you've gotta be kidding. 811 01:00:33,756 --> 01:00:36,717 Looks like there's a phone a couple miles up the road. 812 01:00:36,925 --> 01:00:38,302 A couple miles? 813 01:00:38,552 --> 01:00:42,556 - I'll be right back. - You're not gonna... Nate. 814 01:00:48,520 --> 01:00:52,399 Oh, man. I should run a little bit. 815 01:00:53,359 --> 01:00:56,070 Okay, that's enough. That's enough of that. 816 01:01:00,866 --> 01:01:02,451 Om. 817 01:01:04,244 --> 01:01:06,622 Wait. What's up? What's up? 818 01:01:09,583 --> 01:01:12,544 All right. Let's see. 819 01:01:12,711 --> 01:01:14,546 All right, let's just 820 01:01:14,713 --> 01:01:18,592 find a phone, call Uncle Earl. Be simple. 821 01:01:18,759 --> 01:01:20,678 Be out of this thing. 822 01:01:21,053 --> 01:01:22,638 Oh, shoot. 823 01:01:26,558 --> 01:01:29,311 Oh, man, come on. The corn? 824 01:01:30,854 --> 01:01:33,315 I ain't going in no corn, nope. 825 01:01:44,493 --> 01:01:46,620 This... This... 826 01:01:55,879 --> 01:02:00,050 Come on, man. Who would put a phone up on a pole? 827 01:02:00,426 --> 01:02:04,888 All right, here we go. Right hand, left foot. Left foot, right hand. 828 01:02:05,055 --> 01:02:08,475 Just like Twister. All right, don't look down. Don't look down. 829 01:02:10,102 --> 01:02:13,605 Okay, all right. All right. 830 01:02:17,067 --> 01:02:19,653 Hello? Operator. 831 01:02:19,820 --> 01:02:22,239 I need Earl Johnson. 832 01:02:22,448 --> 01:02:24,491 Could you get me Earl Johnson? 833 01:02:24,783 --> 01:02:28,036 Uncle Earl, this is Nate. Yeah, right, Glorietta's boy. 834 01:02:28,245 --> 01:02:30,998 We ran out of gas on Route 12. Can you come get us? 835 01:03:05,324 --> 01:03:07,826 Girl, look like y'all done seen a ghost. 836 01:03:09,077 --> 01:03:10,662 It's just you, Uncle Earl. 837 01:03:10,871 --> 01:03:13,707 Who you thought it gonna be? Bobby Brown? 838 01:03:13,916 --> 01:03:18,128 Hey, that the older girl back there? Girl, you as pretty as new carpet. 839 01:03:18,337 --> 01:03:21,507 - Where you staying? - Well, we're on our way to the... 840 01:03:21,673 --> 01:03:24,510 Y'all going down to the house? You know, I got room. 841 01:03:24,676 --> 01:03:28,222 I got room for you, if you want it. I got double-wide bunk beds. 842 01:03:28,388 --> 01:03:31,767 Yeah, I'll sleep on top and you be on the bottom. Either way. 843 01:03:31,934 --> 01:03:36,647 You can be on the bottom. I'll take it any way I can get it. Any way I can get it. 844 01:03:36,814 --> 01:03:38,732 You hear me? I say I take it 845 01:03:38,899 --> 01:03:40,984 - any way I can get it. - I heard you. 846 01:03:41,401 --> 01:03:44,196 Don't worry about that. I'll be taking the hood off. 847 01:03:44,363 --> 01:03:47,282 - Boy, give me the jackhammer. - All right. 848 01:03:54,832 --> 01:03:56,625 Set it down there. 849 01:03:59,336 --> 01:04:01,964 - Here we go. That's right. - Whoa! 850 01:04:05,884 --> 01:04:07,302 That was our headlight. 851 01:04:08,178 --> 01:04:10,264 Good thing you won't need these lights. 852 01:04:10,472 --> 01:04:12,474 I think we just need some gas. 853 01:04:12,683 --> 01:04:15,310 Gas? You want gas? 854 01:04:15,644 --> 01:04:19,064 Try Glorietta's pinto beans. That's what you try, you want gas. 855 01:04:19,231 --> 01:04:23,569 I worked on a plane 14, 15 years. I know a little something about a car, okay? 856 01:04:23,735 --> 01:04:27,573 You just wait. You keep those sweet legs on the inside. Don't get hurt. 857 01:04:27,781 --> 01:04:31,535 Sitting here looking hot butter. Hot-butter yellow. Girl... 858 01:04:31,702 --> 01:04:34,162 Looking good. Here, boy. 859 01:04:37,165 --> 01:04:40,460 I'll use my heavy artillery. Let me get the tweezers. 860 01:04:41,295 --> 01:04:45,549 Oh, these are my eyelash curlers. Yeah, that's more delicate, right there. 861 01:04:47,342 --> 01:04:49,511 - All right. All right. - No, no, no. 862 01:04:55,100 --> 01:04:57,561 - You need this? - Okay, now, hold on to that. 863 01:04:57,728 --> 01:04:59,771 - Hold that for me? - You're killing me. 864 01:05:00,022 --> 01:05:01,899 Yo, unc. Come on. Come on. 865 01:05:02,107 --> 01:05:06,069 Now, hold this and lean that... Lean that over there for me. 866 01:05:06,486 --> 01:05:08,864 Now, hand me the duct tape. 867 01:05:09,031 --> 01:05:10,282 What? 868 01:05:15,329 --> 01:05:16,455 Whoo! 869 01:05:18,874 --> 01:05:21,919 Yeah, these are trusty-dusties. 870 01:05:22,085 --> 01:05:23,587 I always use them. 871 01:05:23,795 --> 01:05:27,299 Yeah, one of the best things you can use is a curling iron. 872 01:05:27,466 --> 01:05:29,885 - So you fixed it, Earl? - Uh-oh. 873 01:05:32,137 --> 01:05:34,514 There's two answers to that one. 874 01:05:34,681 --> 01:05:35,974 No and not yet. 875 01:05:36,183 --> 01:05:38,602 What I realize... You know the funny thing? 876 01:05:38,810 --> 01:05:40,270 Y'all ain't got no gas. 877 01:05:40,437 --> 01:05:43,148 All this time, you didn't have no gas in there. 878 01:05:43,357 --> 01:05:45,984 I can get this running. You know what it is? 879 01:05:46,193 --> 01:05:48,236 It'll run on lawn-mower fluid. 880 01:05:48,320 --> 01:05:50,572 Put lawn-mower fluid in. You won't go fast. 881 01:05:50,656 --> 01:05:54,701 You'll go about 16 miles an hour, so I'd always say stay in the slow lane. 882 01:05:54,868 --> 01:05:56,745 It's going to take you about... 883 01:05:56,912 --> 01:05:59,706 Oh, about 16, 17 days to get back to California. 884 01:05:59,873 --> 01:06:02,125 But that ain't nothing. Y'all are family. 885 01:06:02,334 --> 01:06:04,711 Have a good time. I know what to do 886 01:06:04,878 --> 01:06:08,131 to have this car back on its feet and rolling in no time. 887 01:06:27,234 --> 01:06:29,069 Hey, Andy! How you doing? 888 01:06:35,200 --> 01:06:37,202 - Here you go. - Thank you. 889 01:06:39,204 --> 01:06:41,331 Just what you think you doing? 890 01:06:41,498 --> 01:06:43,834 Sticking your fingers in my food. 891 01:06:43,917 --> 01:06:46,503 Hey, Uncle Earl. Why don't you park me out back. 892 01:06:46,670 --> 01:06:49,423 I don't want nobody to mess with my truck. 893 01:06:51,091 --> 01:06:53,427 All right, I hear you, nephew. 894 01:06:59,016 --> 01:07:01,852 Hey. Look who I found on the side of the road. 895 01:07:01,935 --> 01:07:03,937 - It's Nate and them. - Hey, Uncle Earl. 896 01:07:04,104 --> 01:07:09,067 Let us out right here. All right? This is good, right here. 897 01:07:09,234 --> 01:07:11,987 Nathaniel. Come here before I have to spank you. 898 01:07:12,154 --> 01:07:13,488 Oh, it's Uncle Nate. 899 01:07:14,281 --> 01:07:16,158 Oh, Lord, have mercy. 900 01:07:17,659 --> 01:07:19,327 - Thanks. - Girl, you look good. 901 01:07:19,494 --> 01:07:22,748 If you don't look like hot sauce on a pork rind, I tell you. 902 01:07:23,081 --> 01:07:26,710 Come on. Give Uncle Earl some of that. Give me something. 903 01:07:26,918 --> 01:07:30,088 You is a hot-butter red bone. Girl, you look delicious. 904 01:07:30,255 --> 01:07:34,051 - Like a perfect piece of fried chicken. - Uncle Earl. Uncle Earl. 905 01:07:34,217 --> 01:07:35,969 Come on, man. That's my wife. 906 01:07:36,178 --> 01:07:38,221 - Come on. - Stop being a player hater. 907 01:07:38,388 --> 01:07:42,225 - Can you do something with the truck? - I'll take care of that for you. 908 01:07:42,392 --> 01:07:44,269 Don't you worry about it. 909 01:07:44,436 --> 01:07:48,106 I'll take the carburetor off there, put it back on there. 910 01:07:48,273 --> 01:07:51,276 Take the concrete off. That'll be about 25, 35 dollars. 911 01:07:51,443 --> 01:07:53,779 But just bring me back a six-pack of beer. 912 01:07:53,945 --> 01:07:56,990 There's where the tree was I told you I fell out of. 913 01:07:57,199 --> 01:08:02,412 - And there's the lake I used to fish in. - Hey, second-born. Junior Mint. 914 01:08:02,621 --> 01:08:05,957 Mama's little mistake down at the lake. How y'all doing? 915 01:08:06,166 --> 01:08:09,169 - Hey, Mack. - Hey, Dorothy, Dorothy, Dorothy. 916 01:08:09,336 --> 01:08:11,171 I don't know how you do it. 917 01:08:11,379 --> 01:08:14,591 Hey, look, Mama up here at the table. Y'all come on. 918 01:08:17,677 --> 01:08:20,097 Hey, Mama. 919 01:08:20,263 --> 01:08:22,849 - Grandma! - And there's the birthday girl. 920 01:08:23,016 --> 01:08:28,063 Oh, look at you guys. My God, you're getting so big. Look at you. 921 01:08:28,688 --> 01:08:32,901 Dorothy. I can't believe we finally got you down here. 922 01:08:33,068 --> 01:08:35,445 Guess that means you two are still together. 923 01:08:35,654 --> 01:08:37,739 - Well, the truth is... - My goodness. 924 01:08:37,948 --> 01:08:42,494 - I can't believe you two made it this far. - The trip's less than 2000 miles. 925 01:08:42,702 --> 01:08:46,540 Oh, I'm not talking about miles, baby. Talking about years. 926 01:08:47,582 --> 01:08:50,335 - What were you gonna say? - What I was gonna say 927 01:08:50,544 --> 01:08:56,091 is that Nate and I are going to renew our wedding vows on Valentine's Day 928 01:08:56,258 --> 01:08:59,219 and we would sure love for you to join us. 929 01:09:01,179 --> 01:09:02,180 Mmm. 930 01:09:04,224 --> 01:09:07,227 Come on. Food's on the table. Family's waiting for you. 931 01:09:07,394 --> 01:09:10,939 Both my boys here. This is better than Christmas. 932 01:09:11,106 --> 01:09:13,859 Even better than that Christmas I got you that car? 933 01:09:14,025 --> 01:09:15,944 You know this ain't no competition. 934 01:09:16,153 --> 01:09:19,990 We gonna let Mack and Nate pray. See which one of them 935 01:09:20,157 --> 01:09:22,325 was paying attention in Sunday school. 936 01:09:22,868 --> 01:09:26,121 Well, I guess since I'm the oldest, I'll go first. 937 01:09:26,580 --> 01:09:28,039 Fine. 938 01:09:28,248 --> 01:09:33,170 All right, everyone, bow your heads and close your ears. 939 01:09:34,171 --> 01:09:38,592 Your eyes. Everybody close your eyes. 940 01:09:40,719 --> 01:09:46,808 Gracious God, I come to you as humbly as I know how. 941 01:09:46,975 --> 01:09:53,857 Praising you and giving you thanks for bringing us together yet another year. 942 01:09:54,024 --> 01:09:58,278 Helping us come together to help celebrate my victory 943 01:09:59,321 --> 01:10:03,700 and Nate's agony of defeat. Let us eat. 944 01:10:04,075 --> 01:10:09,080 Father God, we thank you for allowing us 945 01:10:09,247 --> 01:10:11,833 to come together and share with one another. 946 01:10:12,000 --> 01:10:15,837 Father, we know that you created the birds that fly 947 01:10:16,379 --> 01:10:19,424 and gave the dogs the voice to bark. 948 01:10:19,633 --> 01:10:24,137 But you wouldn't have created the sun if you knew Mack was gonna be in that 949 01:10:24,304 --> 01:10:27,307 bright yellow shirt, looking sunny-side up 950 01:10:27,474 --> 01:10:31,686 - like a Rooty Tooty Fresh and Fruity! - Oh, Lord, Lord! 951 01:10:31,895 --> 01:10:34,272 We, Father God, also realize 952 01:10:34,439 --> 01:10:38,610 that you are the creator of Earth and heaven, 953 01:10:38,818 --> 01:10:42,030 moon and the stars. 954 01:10:42,239 --> 01:10:47,202 That's how I know ain't no way you had nothing to do 955 01:10:47,369 --> 01:10:52,540 with creating that tacky, gangster-looking, wheel-spinning SUV 956 01:10:52,707 --> 01:10:57,879 - that Uncle Earl had to drag up in here. - Hold on, Father. Hold up, wait a minute. 957 01:10:58,046 --> 01:11:01,549 What about the time you put the Pepto-Bismol in the Kool-Aid 958 01:11:01,716 --> 01:11:03,718 and everybody had diarrhea? 959 01:11:03,885 --> 01:11:06,137 Don't let me have to mention that to Mama. 960 01:11:06,304 --> 01:11:10,642 What about the time you burned down all the bushes around the house 961 01:11:10,809 --> 01:11:13,520 because you got tired of getting your switches? 962 01:11:15,397 --> 01:11:17,232 Father! 963 01:11:19,150 --> 01:11:23,280 Need I have to remind Mack while Mama's standing here 964 01:11:23,446 --> 01:11:26,866 that he the one that had Nannette Greene in the back room 965 01:11:27,033 --> 01:11:29,703 and was doing the nasty on Mama's good quilt 966 01:11:29,869 --> 01:11:33,623 - and she couldn't get them stains off. - In Jesus' name! 967 01:11:34,624 --> 01:11:35,959 - Let's eat. - But, Mama. 968 01:11:36,459 --> 01:11:39,629 - But, Mama, look... - Don't make me cuss up in here. 969 01:11:39,796 --> 01:11:44,926 - And then there's a lamp head I broke... - I got all the stories. It's great. 970 01:11:45,135 --> 01:11:49,347 Let's go visit with Nate's family, who drove all the way in from California. 971 01:11:49,514 --> 01:11:53,226 Last time they was here, little Destiny was 2 years old. 972 01:11:53,393 --> 01:11:56,271 Hey, Nate! How you doing? Kids, you all right? 973 01:11:56,438 --> 01:11:58,565 Hey, how's it going? 974 01:11:58,898 --> 01:12:01,192 Kinfolk! 975 01:12:04,029 --> 01:12:05,822 I'll be over there in a minute. 976 01:12:06,114 --> 01:12:09,159 Cousin Nate. My favorite kinfolk. 977 01:12:09,326 --> 01:12:11,411 - Hey, man. - All right. 978 01:12:11,619 --> 01:12:13,621 How you doing? You doing all right? 979 01:12:13,830 --> 01:12:16,207 Heard you're doing good in insurance. 980 01:12:16,374 --> 01:12:20,045 We all proud of you. But I'm especially proud. What did I tell you? 981 01:12:20,211 --> 01:12:22,130 I told you two years ago about that. 982 01:12:22,297 --> 01:12:25,300 Me, now. "Do that insurance thing." I told you. 983 01:12:25,467 --> 01:12:26,843 Look at you now. 984 01:12:27,218 --> 01:12:30,305 - Let me hold something. - Come on, Bodie. I just got here. 985 01:12:30,513 --> 01:12:34,225 Well, anything... What about them glasses? Them prescription? 986 01:12:34,768 --> 01:12:37,812 I'll see if I can do something for you later, all right? 987 01:12:38,063 --> 01:12:40,815 All right. You know you my favorite kinfolk. 988 01:12:40,982 --> 01:12:42,400 - Yeah. - I'll be right here. 989 01:12:42,567 --> 01:12:44,861 - I ain't going nowhere. - I know you not. 990 01:12:45,028 --> 01:12:46,780 Watch that move. 991 01:12:47,906 --> 01:12:49,783 Why y'all leave me with him? 992 01:12:50,492 --> 01:12:53,370 It's time for the event we've all been waiting for. 993 01:12:53,453 --> 01:12:57,457 That's right, the 2004 Family of the Year competition. 994 01:12:57,624 --> 01:13:01,044 Y'all ready to do this? Johnson family, let's get this started. 995 01:13:01,211 --> 01:13:05,006 Crawl like we worked on. Your mom's gonna have your legs. 996 01:13:05,799 --> 01:13:09,594 - Mack Jr., he's not... He's nothing. - Don't let him scare you. 997 01:13:09,761 --> 01:13:10,845 - Okay. - All right. 998 01:13:11,012 --> 01:13:12,597 - Okay. - All right, sweetie. 999 01:13:12,764 --> 01:13:16,059 - We're gonna do it, Daddy. - Do it. We need this. 1000 01:13:21,981 --> 01:13:24,192 - There they go again. - They need to stop. 1001 01:13:24,484 --> 01:13:26,444 Stop that fighting! 1002 01:13:26,778 --> 01:13:28,822 - Hey, Mama. - On your mark. 1003 01:13:30,698 --> 01:13:31,825 Get set. 1004 01:13:33,326 --> 01:13:34,786 Go! 1005 01:13:35,703 --> 01:13:39,791 Come on, Junior. You got it, you got it, Mack! Come on! 1006 01:13:44,838 --> 01:13:47,966 - You got it, baby! Do it now, Junior! - Go! Come on! 1007 01:13:50,260 --> 01:13:52,929 Monkey bar, swing. Monkey bar, swing. 1008 01:13:53,513 --> 01:13:54,556 Go! 1009 01:13:57,600 --> 01:13:58,643 Oh, lord, he fell! 1010 01:14:00,353 --> 01:14:01,604 Hey! 1011 01:14:04,023 --> 01:14:05,150 We did it! 1012 01:14:07,026 --> 01:14:09,821 - She cheated. - Next event, water balloon toss. 1013 01:14:09,988 --> 01:14:11,531 Let's do this, y'all. 1014 01:14:13,241 --> 01:14:16,411 See, somebody gonna get a whupping out here. 1015 01:14:18,163 --> 01:14:20,415 Mack, that gives your family two points 1016 01:14:20,665 --> 01:14:24,294 and Nate's family two points. Last event, the sack race, y'all. 1017 01:14:24,461 --> 01:14:28,298 Oh, yeah, baby. You can kiss that Family of the Year trophy goodbye. 1018 01:14:28,506 --> 01:14:29,716 Oh, I will, 1019 01:14:29,883 --> 01:14:32,552 every morning on my way to work. 1020 01:14:32,719 --> 01:14:36,264 Get set! Go! 1021 01:14:38,516 --> 01:14:40,810 - Till you were 12. - I ain't had plastic on the bed. 1022 01:14:41,019 --> 01:14:43,271 - Yes, you did, bed-wetter. - Hold up, man. 1023 01:14:43,438 --> 01:14:44,856 Nobody peed in the bed. 1024 01:14:45,023 --> 01:14:48,234 Just saying, you trying to do something. Always talking... 1025 01:14:48,401 --> 01:14:50,904 You hung up on me while I was talking to Mama. 1026 01:14:51,112 --> 01:14:52,655 - What's up? - Whatever. 1027 01:14:55,283 --> 01:14:58,203 - Why you running? - Ain't nobody running. 1028 01:14:58,411 --> 01:15:01,831 - Throw him on the ground. - Get my leg? Why you grab my leg? 1029 01:15:02,624 --> 01:15:04,959 - We got a winner! - That's what I thought. 1030 01:15:05,126 --> 01:15:06,961 You done made us lose the race. 1031 01:15:07,170 --> 01:15:10,840 - Ain't thinking about that race. - Why you trying to get ahead of me? 1032 01:15:11,549 --> 01:15:14,385 - Why you looking to... - First. I'm first. 1033 01:15:17,514 --> 01:15:20,225 I think I... I think I hurt my corn. 1034 01:15:23,436 --> 01:15:26,773 We got a tie, y'all. Johnson family. What? 1035 01:15:26,981 --> 01:15:28,691 - Kinfolk! - Yeah, what's up? 1036 01:15:28,858 --> 01:15:32,111 Heard you're in California, about to break in that rap game. 1037 01:15:32,320 --> 01:15:35,073 - You know it. - About to get paid! 1038 01:15:35,740 --> 01:15:37,659 Let me hold something. 1039 01:15:41,996 --> 01:15:46,084 I don't have no money on me right now. I'm broke. 1040 01:15:46,292 --> 01:15:48,503 You ain't got nothing? 1041 01:15:48,836 --> 01:15:51,172 What about them shoes? What size are those? 1042 01:15:52,298 --> 01:15:53,800 They my size. 1043 01:15:54,968 --> 01:15:56,302 You tripping- 1044 01:15:56,928 --> 01:15:58,388 Kinfolk. 1045 01:15:58,596 --> 01:16:01,641 That's right. You know we do it Johnson family-style. 1046 01:16:01,849 --> 01:16:05,144 It's time to really get our party on now. Come on, Johnsons. 1047 01:16:05,311 --> 01:16:08,398 There's no time to rehearse. It's time for Johnson magic. 1048 01:16:08,565 --> 01:16:12,860 This is for the trophy. The talent show is always the tiebreaker event. 1049 01:16:13,027 --> 01:16:14,028 Right. 1050 01:16:14,112 --> 01:16:15,280 Destiny and I will do choreography. 1051 01:16:15,572 --> 01:16:18,283 - What do we do for costumes? - Mama, I'll do it. 1052 01:16:18,449 --> 01:16:20,535 - What about music? - I got the music. 1053 01:16:23,413 --> 01:16:26,040 We gonna hit them upside the head with this one. 1054 01:16:26,499 --> 01:16:28,751 Everyone know what they're supposed to do? 1055 01:16:28,918 --> 01:16:30,962 - Yeah. - Okay, Johnson family on three. 1056 01:16:31,129 --> 01:16:33,923 - One, two, three. Johnsons! - Johnsons! 1057 01:16:34,132 --> 01:16:36,884 - All right. Let's go. All right? Go. - Got it. 1058 01:16:37,051 --> 01:16:39,053 All right. Okay. 1059 01:16:39,220 --> 01:16:41,222 Big Shaq style, boy. That's you, Mack. 1060 01:16:41,306 --> 01:16:42,307 Hey, D.J. 1061 01:16:42,390 --> 01:16:45,893 You are the Mack from way back. "Mack-alicious, " "Mack-adocious". 1062 01:16:46,060 --> 01:16:49,731 "Mack-tastic. " You "Mackaroni, " dog. "Mackadamia. " You the Mack. 1063 01:16:49,897 --> 01:16:51,774 Man, you the Mack. 1064 01:17:12,378 --> 01:17:16,090 Their moves are so tight. I see why they win every year. 1065 01:17:16,257 --> 01:17:20,637 Oh, come on, baby. It's nothing. I mean, look at Mack out there. 1066 01:17:20,845 --> 01:17:24,474 Little karate uniform, all looking like Nappy Chan doing Try-Bo. 1067 01:17:26,809 --> 01:17:28,227 Come on. 1068 01:17:51,000 --> 01:17:53,211 Thank you, thank you, thank you all. 1069 01:17:53,378 --> 01:17:57,215 Hear me when I say it to you, now. We do love. We love everybody. 1070 01:17:57,799 --> 01:18:02,387 Got love for you. No, no, we do love you all. Now, coming up next 1071 01:18:02,553 --> 01:18:05,056 is my baby brother Nate and his family. 1072 01:18:05,223 --> 01:18:08,226 Do something, clap or something, but whatever you do, 1073 01:18:08,393 --> 01:18:12,146 Lord, have mercy, please don't fall asleep. Love you! 1074 01:18:16,651 --> 01:18:19,237 Nate, you sure got your work out out for you. 1075 01:18:19,654 --> 01:18:20,822 Nate's back again. 1076 01:18:21,030 --> 01:18:24,575 - You know Nate's stuff is raggedy. - What's Nate gonna do? 1077 01:18:24,784 --> 01:18:26,661 - What's up, D.J.? - Let's do this. 1078 01:18:26,828 --> 01:18:28,108 They ain't got nothing. 1079 01:18:32,959 --> 01:18:35,878 All right, everybody, get on board. It's Nate Johnson. 1080 01:18:36,796 --> 01:18:40,049 We are the Johnson family from Los Angeles. 1081 01:18:41,718 --> 01:18:45,596 Ready to give it to you, little something like this. Watch out, Mack. 1082 01:18:48,015 --> 01:18:51,769 I'm the captain of this vessel. 1083 01:18:52,311 --> 01:18:56,107 We wanna take you on a cruise, yeah. 1084 01:18:56,232 --> 01:19:00,653 All around the land Music is at hand. 1085 01:19:01,696 --> 01:19:04,323 We're gonna play it for you. 1086 01:19:04,657 --> 01:19:08,119 - 'Cause we... - Want to be. 1087 01:19:08,995 --> 01:19:13,666 - We want to be. - Your true-life entertainers. 1088 01:19:13,750 --> 01:19:16,711 - Get into the beat, y'all. - To the beat. 1089 01:19:16,794 --> 01:19:19,714 All right, now, Johnsons. Y'all come on with it, now. 1090 01:19:19,839 --> 01:19:21,966 Don't let nothing restrain us. 1091 01:19:22,049 --> 01:19:23,468 Here we go. 1092 01:19:23,593 --> 01:19:26,512 We just want you to feel. 1093 01:19:26,596 --> 01:19:31,184 Nothing but pleasure Musical pleasure. 1094 01:19:31,976 --> 01:19:34,020 The music is definitely real. 1095 01:19:34,103 --> 01:19:36,856 That music's feeling so good, it makes me wanna... 1096 01:19:37,273 --> 01:19:39,192 Makes me wanna do this right here. 1097 01:19:40,818 --> 01:19:45,490 Come along, pack your bags Get on up and jam, y'all 1098 01:19:45,865 --> 01:19:48,993 I've got style for miles. 1099 01:19:49,076 --> 01:19:53,206 Come along and drive with me, princess. 1100 01:19:53,331 --> 01:19:57,502 Oh, yeah. It's big Nate Johnson. I'm gonna bring it to you right here. 1101 01:19:57,710 --> 01:19:59,629 From La Lizzie to Missouri. 1102 01:19:59,712 --> 01:20:01,881 The Johnson West coast is the family to beat. 1103 01:20:01,964 --> 01:20:04,175 Across four states in a stock Navi. 1104 01:20:04,258 --> 01:20:06,302 Tricked outwith 26s and Burberry. 1105 01:20:06,385 --> 01:20:08,304 Got Nate Got Nate and me. 1106 01:20:08,387 --> 01:20:10,347 Hitting switches with Sir Barks-a-Lot and Destiny. 1107 01:20:10,389 --> 01:20:12,642 You got three wheel motion escaping high beams. 1108 01:20:12,725 --> 01:20:15,645 Of an 18 wheeler with a phat baby Chrishelle. 1109 01:20:15,895 --> 01:20:17,939 She couldn't stop us The rig. 1110 01:20:18,022 --> 01:20:19,982 Come on, dawg And block us, the haters. 1111 01:20:20,066 --> 01:20:23,611 Well yeah, they try and jock us in jail And rock us and y'all can't stop us. 1112 01:20:23,694 --> 01:20:25,905 When I say "Johnsons" You say "Fam". 1113 01:20:26,030 --> 01:20:27,865 - Johnson. - Fam. 1114 01:20:27,949 --> 01:20:31,494 When I say "Johnsons" you say "Fam" Now somebody scream 1115 01:20:32,662 --> 01:20:34,580 We just want you to feel... 1116 01:20:34,705 --> 01:20:37,375 That's my son right there! 1117 01:20:38,209 --> 01:20:40,586 Musical pleasure. 1118 01:20:41,128 --> 01:20:44,465 Our music is definitely real. 1119 01:20:44,549 --> 01:20:49,679 True to your pleasure Musical treasure. 1120 01:20:49,762 --> 01:20:51,556 Hey, come on, come on, take a ride. 1121 01:20:51,639 --> 01:20:53,850 There's a party over here It ain't no jibe. 1122 01:20:53,933 --> 01:20:55,768 It's live, live, all the way live. 1123 01:20:55,852 --> 01:20:57,979 Don't even have to work Don't even have to drive. 1124 01:20:58,062 --> 01:21:00,189 It's slide, slide, slippety slide. 1125 01:21:00,233 --> 01:21:02,313 And forget about your troubles and your nine to five. 1126 01:21:02,316 --> 01:21:06,237 Just sail along Here's what you do. Just sail on. 1127 01:21:06,696 --> 01:21:08,948 With grooves so funky now what you think? 1128 01:21:09,031 --> 01:21:12,493 What is it called It's called the Johnsons' thing. 1129 01:21:12,743 --> 01:21:16,455 Come on with us to the land of funk. 1130 01:21:17,623 --> 01:21:20,626 Funk, funk. 1131 01:21:22,795 --> 01:21:25,047 To the land of funk 1132 01:21:36,684 --> 01:21:38,525 - Didn't I tell you I could rhyme? - All right. 1133 01:21:38,728 --> 01:21:40,354 Mom, we did it. 1134 01:21:41,731 --> 01:21:45,192 Here you go. All right. Take that. Don't take no wooden nickels, now. 1135 01:21:48,696 --> 01:21:51,115 Okay, y'all, come on, Johnsons. 1136 01:21:51,282 --> 01:21:52,366 Okay, y'all. 1137 01:21:52,658 --> 01:21:55,953 Time to choose a winner. Come on. Good job, man. Great job. 1138 01:21:56,162 --> 01:21:58,080 Good job, man. Good job. 1139 01:21:58,956 --> 01:22:04,712 Okay, y'all. We the Johnson family and y'all know how we do it. Let's get it on. 1140 01:22:05,087 --> 01:22:08,215 Who thinks Mack's family won? Make some noise! 1141 01:22:08,424 --> 01:22:11,344 Come on. You know it. Thank you very much. 1142 01:22:11,928 --> 01:22:13,304 Calm down, calm down. 1143 01:22:14,263 --> 01:22:17,224 Who thinks Nate's family's better? Y'all make noise! 1144 01:22:25,358 --> 01:22:28,027 Damn. Where you been? 1145 01:22:30,029 --> 01:22:31,489 Is she family? 1146 01:22:31,697 --> 01:22:33,908 All right, y'all. It was close. 1147 01:22:34,075 --> 01:22:35,534 But... 1148 01:22:36,160 --> 01:22:38,079 Nate's family wins the title! 1149 01:22:42,917 --> 01:22:45,795 - Congratulations, son. - Thank you, Mama. 1150 01:22:46,879 --> 01:22:48,214 Oh, Father... 1151 01:22:51,676 --> 01:22:53,594 You know what? 1152 01:22:54,011 --> 01:22:57,515 I don't need this trophy to prove I have a great family. 1153 01:22:57,807 --> 01:23:01,227 Here. The only trophy I need 1154 01:23:01,519 --> 01:23:03,354 is these four right behind me. 1155 01:23:03,562 --> 01:23:07,942 Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever. As long as I... As long as I got the trophy. 1156 01:23:09,151 --> 01:23:12,863 - I got the trophy. - Mack, Mack. 1157 01:23:13,114 --> 01:23:15,616 - We got the trophy. - Come on, dog. Mack. 1158 01:23:16,200 --> 01:23:19,286 Come on, man. We brothers. 1159 01:23:19,704 --> 01:23:22,915 We should be teammates, not competitors. 1160 01:23:23,874 --> 01:23:27,086 - Yeah? What do you say? - Yeah, you're right. 1161 01:23:28,838 --> 01:23:33,009 Yes! Yeah! We got it, come on. Yes! 1162 01:23:33,342 --> 01:23:37,054 - I got the trophy! It's all mine! - Anyway. You know what? 1163 01:23:37,221 --> 01:23:40,307 I realized that after this victory today... - Yeah? 1164 01:23:40,808 --> 01:23:42,351 Nothing can separate us. 1165 01:23:50,735 --> 01:23:52,528 Get out the way, June Bug! 1166 01:23:55,072 --> 01:23:56,741 Where'd the truck come from? 1167 01:24:00,161 --> 01:24:04,582 Oh, Father. Oh, Father. 1168 01:24:05,541 --> 01:24:07,001 I'm okay, baby. 1169 01:24:07,752 --> 01:24:11,213 Oh, lord, why not me? Jesus, why not me? 1170 01:24:13,549 --> 01:24:15,968 I can't believe it! 1171 01:24:16,135 --> 01:24:19,263 This trophy ain't never done nothing to nobody. 1172 01:24:19,889 --> 01:24:23,976 What did I ever do? What did I do? 1173 01:24:24,643 --> 01:24:27,480 Oh, Father. Who beat me? 1174 01:24:27,646 --> 01:24:29,732 What is he doing? 1175 01:24:33,069 --> 01:24:36,155 - Stan, what are you doing here? - What are you doing here? 1176 01:24:36,363 --> 01:24:37,782 Dorothy, 1177 01:24:37,948 --> 01:24:41,827 you said you wanted to be with me forever. 1178 01:24:42,328 --> 01:24:45,289 I said our professor was lecturing forever. 1179 01:24:45,498 --> 01:24:47,166 You the dude driving the truck? 1180 01:24:47,333 --> 01:24:50,795 Stan, you're crazy. We only studied together twice. 1181 01:24:51,003 --> 01:24:53,297 And one of those times was over the phone. 1182 01:24:53,464 --> 01:24:56,342 - I have a husband. - Yeah. She has a husband. 1183 01:24:56,509 --> 01:24:59,136 You ruined my family reunion with this nonsense. 1184 01:24:59,345 --> 01:25:03,474 If that's the case, then why do you two live in separate houses? 1185 01:25:03,641 --> 01:25:07,103 Yeah, why do you live in separate houses? 1186 01:25:10,773 --> 01:25:15,319 Mama, Dorothy and I have been separated for about three months. 1187 01:25:17,154 --> 01:25:21,826 - I knew it. I knew it. - Look, it's my fault we're not together. 1188 01:25:22,952 --> 01:25:26,705 All right? I just haven't supported her in her dreams. 1189 01:25:27,164 --> 01:25:31,752 She's a beautiful, intelligent woman and the copilot in my plane. 1190 01:25:31,961 --> 01:25:35,381 Nate got a plane? Mama, when did Nate get a plane? 1191 01:25:35,589 --> 01:25:37,716 - You didn't say any... - Will you hush? 1192 01:25:37,925 --> 01:25:42,763 Mama, look, I've let you drive a wedge between me and my wife all these years. 1193 01:25:43,347 --> 01:25:45,599 She's the mother of your grandchildren. 1194 01:25:45,766 --> 01:25:51,730 So I suggest you get used to her, because I'm not letting her go anywhere. 1195 01:25:52,022 --> 01:25:54,233 - And neither am I. - You know what? 1196 01:25:54,400 --> 01:25:56,110 That's about enough of you. 1197 01:25:56,277 --> 01:25:59,029 - No, no, no. No. - Daddy, don't do that. 1198 01:25:59,238 --> 01:26:00,823 Would you leave? Please. 1199 01:26:01,031 --> 01:26:03,492 Wait, don't do it, son. Don't do it. Let me. 1200 01:26:03,784 --> 01:26:05,119 Oh! 1201 01:26:06,745 --> 01:26:08,873 Mama cracked him! Mama say crack-crack! 1202 01:26:09,081 --> 01:26:11,876 Mama put you in the dirt! That's what Johnsons do! 1203 01:26:12,042 --> 01:26:13,961 Look at her go. She still got it. 1204 01:26:14,128 --> 01:26:18,799 You know what? I ain't never heard you talk about Dorothy that way. 1205 01:26:19,008 --> 01:26:22,678 And you know what else? It's about time. 1206 01:26:24,847 --> 01:26:26,182 - Thanks, Mom. - Right, Dad. 1207 01:26:26,348 --> 01:26:28,475 I gotta get my family out of here. 1208 01:26:28,684 --> 01:26:31,187 - We gotta head back home. - You just got here. 1209 01:26:31,353 --> 01:26:33,147 I know, but 1210 01:26:33,814 --> 01:26:36,150 my wife has a test to study for. 1211 01:26:37,109 --> 01:26:38,485 Kids, let's go change. 1212 01:26:38,652 --> 01:26:40,863 - All right, bye, Mom. - Bye, baby. 1213 01:26:42,990 --> 01:26:45,367 - Dorothy. - All right, now, little brother. 1214 01:26:45,576 --> 01:26:48,579 - All right, Grandma. All right. - Bye. Y'all come back. 1215 01:26:48,746 --> 01:26:50,497 All right. 1216 01:26:53,959 --> 01:26:57,922 - Nate! Nate! - That's Nate Johnson! All day! 1217 01:26:58,881 --> 01:27:00,758 Trophy and my little brother? 1218 01:27:01,634 --> 01:27:04,386 And I'm Mack Johnson! That's all week! 1219 01:27:05,137 --> 01:27:08,724 I wonder if Uncle Earl know how to fix this. I'm gonna ask him. 1220 01:27:09,058 --> 01:27:10,851 Uncle Earl! Unc! 1221 01:27:14,021 --> 01:27:15,022 Hey! 1222 01:27:22,321 --> 01:27:24,323 - Reeny. - Yeah, baby. 1223 01:27:24,782 --> 01:27:26,492 Get in here, girl. 1224 01:27:37,211 --> 01:27:40,256 D.J., is that our door? 1225 01:27:40,714 --> 01:27:42,383 Oh, no, no, no. 1226 01:27:43,092 --> 01:27:44,426 Is this our bumper? 1227 01:27:45,010 --> 01:27:48,889 - This is the bumper from the truck. - Well, looks like a bumper. 1228 01:27:51,767 --> 01:27:53,227 These are the seats. 1229 01:27:54,228 --> 01:27:56,814 The seats. It's come right out of the truck. 1230 01:27:58,357 --> 01:28:00,859 Dorothy, that is the door. 1231 01:28:01,068 --> 01:28:03,696 We don't know if it's the door. Let's find him. 1232 01:28:03,862 --> 01:28:07,032 You ain't got nothing on that robot. You know I do the robot. 1233 01:28:13,872 --> 01:28:16,583 - That's my king. - Look. 1234 01:28:21,338 --> 01:28:23,215 Uncle Earl! 1235 01:28:24,633 --> 01:28:27,636 Uncle Earl! Uncle Earl! 1236 01:28:28,846 --> 01:28:34,226 Hey, there, nephew. Y'all caught me off-guard. Caught me doing my thing. 1237 01:28:35,019 --> 01:28:37,479 Look at Dorothy. Girl, you look good. 1238 01:28:37,688 --> 01:28:41,942 Girl, if you don't look like a hot cup of soup and I got the flu. 1239 01:28:45,779 --> 01:28:48,407 - This my baby, Tangerine. - Hi. 1240 01:28:48,574 --> 01:28:49,908 Don't she look like you? 1241 01:28:50,409 --> 01:28:54,747 She look just like you. I tell her all the time, "You look just like Dorothy." 1242 01:28:54,955 --> 01:28:59,626 You know what, Dorothy? This could've been yours. All this could've been yours. 1243 01:28:59,918 --> 01:29:01,587 Reeny, come on, now. 1244 01:29:02,129 --> 01:29:04,423 Quit playing. You know I'm P-I-M-P. 1245 01:29:04,590 --> 01:29:07,676 It's been a long trip and we wanna get back home 1246 01:29:07,843 --> 01:29:09,595 so did you fix the truck yet? 1247 01:29:09,803 --> 01:29:15,142 Oh, yeah, it's ready. Truck is ready. That's what I do. Yeah, come on, now. 1248 01:29:15,893 --> 01:29:19,855 Yes, indeedy. Now 1249 01:29:20,022 --> 01:29:24,026 I'll have to tell you, the only thing I had to do that was special... 1250 01:29:24,193 --> 01:29:28,238 I want y'all aware of, I had to run a coat hanger through the middle. 1251 01:29:28,405 --> 01:29:33,494 It came up around the chassis, broke off on each side and go into your wheel well. 1252 01:29:33,827 --> 01:29:38,749 Now, only thing I suggest is that you don't make no sharp turns. 1253 01:29:38,999 --> 01:29:42,336 Okay? A sharp turn and you can hang it up. 1254 01:29:45,547 --> 01:29:49,843 - You can hang it up. I tell you. - Yeah. Funny. 1255 01:29:50,052 --> 01:29:52,429 Okay, here we go. 1256 01:29:57,976 --> 01:29:59,353 WOW! 1257 01:30:00,521 --> 01:30:03,607 - Cool. - That looks great, Uncle Earl. 1258 01:30:03,816 --> 01:30:06,318 Don't it look good? It look good, don't it? 1259 01:30:06,527 --> 01:30:08,445 - All right. - I retooled your engine. 1260 01:30:08,654 --> 01:30:13,283 Flushed the engine out with a toothpaste flush. Fluoride toothpaste, best thing. 1261 01:30:13,450 --> 01:30:15,244 There's something you remember. 1262 01:30:15,452 --> 01:30:18,163 You know this car didn't have an 8-track? 1263 01:30:18,330 --> 01:30:22,668 I said, "A pretty car like this ain't got no 8-track?" I put one in there. 1264 01:30:22,876 --> 01:30:27,464 That'll be real nice for y'all to listen to on the way home. Look at Dorothy. 1265 01:30:27,631 --> 01:30:31,593 Girl, if you don't look like a free case of motor oil. 30 weight. 1266 01:30:31,802 --> 01:30:34,680 All right. Told you about coveting my wife, now. 1267 01:30:43,605 --> 01:30:45,899 Hey, Destiny. Where is Sir-Barks-a-Lot? 1268 01:30:46,108 --> 01:30:49,611 He doesn't need me anymore. He's gonna stay in Missouri. 1269 01:30:49,778 --> 01:30:51,280 He'll be okay. 1270 01:30:51,488 --> 01:30:53,073 I'm sure he will, sweetie. 1271 01:30:54,616 --> 01:30:59,496 Nate, did you really mean all the things you said about supporting my dreams? 1272 01:31:00,581 --> 01:31:03,959 - Every word. - Oh, baby. 1273 01:31:35,949 --> 01:31:38,911 Goodness. Oh, boy. 1274 01:31:39,369 --> 01:31:41,121 - Home sweet home, huh? - Yes. 1275 01:31:41,288 --> 01:31:45,709 - Cannot wait to change and shower. - I wasn't gonna say nothing, but... 1276 01:31:45,876 --> 01:31:47,794 - Come on, guys. Inside. - Mama. 1277 01:31:48,420 --> 01:31:50,661 - Come on, walk. - We won't do it again, I tell you that. 1278 01:31:54,718 --> 01:31:56,178 Daddy, our car! 1279 01:31:59,014 --> 01:32:00,516 Earl! Come on, Uncle Earl! 1280 01:32:02,309 --> 01:32:04,895 310 would never take this truck back now. 1281 01:32:05,103 --> 01:32:07,314 Oh, Nate. Stop worrying about the truck. 1282 01:32:07,523 --> 01:32:13,946 You got some more important work to do. After all, it's been three months. 1283 01:32:15,239 --> 01:32:16,907 You serious, Dorothy? 1284 01:32:17,658 --> 01:32:20,577 - You serious? - Ninety days. 1285 01:32:22,579 --> 01:32:26,291 All right, don't play. Open the door!