1
00:00:33,992 --> 00:00:37,121
And we were born
on September 15...

2
00:00:37,204 --> 00:00:38,672
1989.

3
00:00:38,747 --> 00:00:40,499
And... And she's the older...
Older twin.

4
00:00:40,624 --> 00:00:42,001
I'm older by 10 minutes.
She's... Ten minutes.

5
00:00:42,084 --> 00:00:43,757
Cause she had
an umbilical cord

6
00:00:43,835 --> 00:00:45,303
wrapped around her neck.

7
00:00:45,379 --> 00:00:47,660
And she, like, shoved me in
there and wouldn't let me out.

8
00:00:47,714 --> 00:00:49,216
I was, like, kicking her in,

9
00:00:49,299 --> 00:00:51,097
shoving her more in my mom,

10
00:00:51,218 --> 00:00:53,721
so that's why she came
out, like, later. Yeah.

11
00:00:53,804 --> 00:00:55,522
And... She came out
the bigger twin, too.

12
00:00:55,597 --> 00:00:58,817
Well, I came out a pound
heavier than Kara,

13
00:00:58,892 --> 00:01:00,986
so that's why
I'm an inch taller now.

14
00:01:01,061 --> 00:01:03,280
She's always been,
like, a pound heavier.

15
00:01:03,355 --> 00:01:04,447
No.

16
00:01:04,815 --> 00:01:05,907
So, yeah, it's... You know,

17
00:01:05,983 --> 00:01:07,951
I love being twins, man.
It's, uh...

18
00:01:08,026 --> 00:01:10,279
It's basically like you
have a bag of spare parts.

19
00:01:10,362 --> 00:01:11,443
Yeah. You know what I mean?

20
00:01:11,446 --> 00:01:12,914
It's, like, I need a
kidney down the road,

21
00:01:12,990 --> 00:01:14,992
I know he's got one,
so I'm always like,

22
00:01:15,075 --> 00:01:16,622
"Hey, stay healthy, dude.
Eat right."

23
00:01:17,077 --> 00:01:19,580
When we were kids, we had
our own secret language

24
00:01:19,663 --> 00:01:22,257
that only me and my
brother understood.

25
00:01:22,666 --> 00:01:24,418
Ooh.

26
00:01:25,168 --> 00:01:26,761
Eee.

27
00:01:27,296 --> 00:01:29,219
Ooh.

28
00:01:30,799 --> 00:01:32,919
I guess, when we were kids,
we thought we were whales.

29
00:01:32,926 --> 00:01:34,348
Like, when things are bad,

30
00:01:34,428 --> 00:01:35,771
we don't really got to say
anything to each other.

31
00:01:35,846 --> 00:01:37,439
We just make these sounds.
It's like...

32
00:01:40,559 --> 00:01:42,561
So, I just graduated
from Harvard,

33
00:01:42,644 --> 00:01:44,396
and I'm starting a new job

34
00:01:44,479 --> 00:01:46,152
at a law firm
in Southern California,

35
00:01:46,231 --> 00:01:48,199
so I'm really happy about that.

36
00:01:48,275 --> 00:01:51,779
And I got a job at Hooters.
I'm happy, too.

37
00:01:51,862 --> 00:01:53,614
Hooters!

38
00:01:53,947 --> 00:01:56,450
Being a twin is like
being a married couple,

39
00:01:56,533 --> 00:01:57,573
and you can't divorce her.

40
00:01:57,618 --> 00:02:00,792
Even, like! I mean, I love
her when we're together.

41
00:02:00,871 --> 00:02:02,589
Well, actually, more so
when we're distant.

42
00:02:02,748 --> 00:02:04,341
She loves nature, like me.

43
00:02:04,416 --> 00:02:07,386
She loves donating her
time to charities.

44
00:02:07,794 --> 00:02:10,013
And she loves eating healthy,
so that's awesome.

45
00:02:10,088 --> 00:02:11,965
She's my best friend.

46
00:02:12,049 --> 00:02:14,347
My best friend is my boyfriend.

47
00:02:21,808 --> 00:02:25,278
<i>♪ They say we're young ♪
♪ and we don't know ♪</i>

48
00:02:25,354 --> 00:02:30,076
<i>♪ We won't find out ♪
♪ till we grow ♪</i>

49
00:02:31,610 --> 00:02:34,989
<i>♪ Well, I don't know ♪
♪ if all that's true ♪</i>

50
00:02:35,072 --> 00:02:39,873
<i>♪ 'Cause you got me ♪
♪ and, baby, I got you ♪</i>

51
00:02:41,078 --> 00:02:44,298
<i>♪ Babe ♪</i>

52
00:02:44,373 --> 00:02:45,625
<i>♪ I got you, babe ♪</i>

53
00:02:47,292 --> 00:02:48,509
<i>♪ I got you, babe ♪</i>

54
00:02:50,879 --> 00:02:52,472
<i>♪ I got you, babe ♪</i>

55
00:02:53,757 --> 00:02:56,681
<i>♪ And when I'm sad ♪</i>

56
00:02:56,760 --> 00:02:59,309
<i>♪ You're a clown ♪</i>

57
00:03:00,055 --> 00:03:02,979
<i>♪ And if I get scared ♪</i>

58
00:03:03,058 --> 00:03:07,234
<i>♪ You're always around ♪</i>

59
00:03:07,312 --> 00:03:10,691
<i>♪ So let them say ♪
♪ your hair's too long ♪</i>

60
00:03:10,774 --> 00:03:12,401
<i>♪ 'Cause I don't care ♪</i>

61
00:03:12,484 --> 00:03:15,454
<i>♪ With you I can't go wrong ♪</i>

62
00:03:17,114 --> 00:03:18,582
<i>♪ Babe ♪</i>

63
00:03:20,117 --> 00:03:22,040
<i>♪ I got you, babe ♪</i>

64
00:03:23,412 --> 00:03:27,633
<i>♪ I got you, babe ♪</i>

65
00:03:28,834 --> 00:03:31,087
Pepto-Bismol, take 43.

66
00:03:31,169 --> 00:03:32,796
And action!

67
00:03:33,880 --> 00:03:37,054
Please, why do I have
to have such diarrhea?

68
00:03:37,634 --> 00:03:40,558
You need to drink the pink.

69
00:03:40,929 --> 00:03:42,977
Hold it. Cut! Cut! Jack!
What is he doing?

70
00:03:43,181 --> 00:03:44,433
Jack, are you watching this'?

71
00:03:44,683 --> 00:03:46,401
What do you mean, "Cut", man?

72
00:03:46,476 --> 00:03:48,353
I... I got to be at
Sesame Street by 1:00.

73
00:03:48,478 --> 00:03:50,572
Hey, hey, hey, Reeg, do
you really have diarrhea?

74
00:03:50,647 --> 00:03:51,694
'Cause you lost weight
or something.

75
00:03:51,815 --> 00:03:53,817
Why does the stomach
have all the good lines'?

76
00:03:53,900 --> 00:03:54,901
Uh-huh.

77
00:03:54,985 --> 00:03:56,328
"Drink the pink." That's funny.

78
00:03:56,403 --> 00:03:57,450
I'm sorry, Jack.

79
00:03:57,529 --> 00:03:59,406
The Dunkin' Donut people
want to talk to us.

80
00:03:59,489 --> 00:04:00,741
Okay, well, I got to

81
00:04:00,824 --> 00:04:01,984
Regis, it's going to be fine.

82
00:04:02,033 --> 00:04:03,834
Yeah, and you'll take
care of that, and, uh...

83
00:04:03,869 --> 00:04:05,746
Thank you very much.
I didn't need that, but cool.

84
00:04:05,829 --> 00:04:07,331
I got some bad news.

85
00:04:07,664 --> 00:04:09,132
We may lose Dunkin' Donuts.

86
00:04:09,458 --> 00:04:11,578
What do you mean "lose"?
They didn't like our pitches?

87
00:04:11,710 --> 00:04:13,007
They want Al Pacino.

88
00:04:13,670 --> 00:04:16,264
- Al Pacino to do a commercial?
- Mmm-hmm.

89
00:04:16,423 --> 00:04:17,640
<i>The Godfather Al Pacino?</i>

90
00:04:17,799 --> 00:04:20,097
They got this new coffee
drink, the Dunkaccino.

91
00:04:20,177 --> 00:04:21,269
Uh-huh.

92
00:04:21,344 --> 00:04:23,346
Dunkaccino, Al Pacino,
they sound alike.

93
00:04:23,555 --> 00:04:23,915
Yes.

94
00:04:23,940 --> 00:04:25,377
Well, they think
it'll be a home run.

95
00:04:25,432 --> 00:04:26,672
Of course
it would be a home run

96
00:04:26,725 --> 00:04:28,245
if he would ever do it,
which he won't.

97
00:04:28,310 --> 00:04:29,482
Yeah, well, never say never.

98
00:04:29,561 --> 00:04:30,858
Remember, you didn't think
we could get Brad Pitt

99
00:04:30,937 --> 00:04:32,359
to do that Radio Shack
commercial.

100
00:04:32,689 --> 00:04:33,781
I was right.

101
00:04:34,065 --> 00:04:35,658
Well, you can't be
right all the time.

102
00:04:35,984 --> 00:04:37,452
- Uh-huh.
- Look, bottom line,

103
00:04:37,527 --> 00:04:40,201
they're going to give us one month to
make this whole Pacino thing happen,

104
00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:41,327
or they're going
to go elsewhere.

105
00:04:41,490 --> 00:04:42,787
We can't lose Dunkin' Donuts.

106
00:04:42,866 --> 00:04:44,163
They're our biggest client.

107
00:04:44,242 --> 00:04:45,664
Damn it.

108
00:04:45,744 --> 00:04:47,166
We're going to go
bankrupt, buddy.

109
00:04:47,245 --> 00:04:49,373
And we have 200 employees
relying on us.

110
00:04:51,875 --> 00:04:53,593
Try to have a good
Thanksgiving, okay?

111
00:04:53,710 --> 00:04:55,053
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

112
00:04:55,378 --> 00:04:56,550
What do you think?
Would Al Pacino

113
00:04:56,630 --> 00:04:58,303
ever do a Dunkin' Donuts
commercial?

114
00:04:58,507 --> 00:05:00,430
What?

115
00:05:00,592 --> 00:05:01,718
Yeah.

116
00:05:02,302 --> 00:05:03,474
Shut up.

117
00:05:03,553 --> 00:05:04,930
- Did my wife call?
- Uh, yeah.

118
00:05:05,013 --> 00:05:05,980
You're all set for the cruise.

119
00:05:06,056 --> 00:05:07,353
You guys leave a week
after Hanukkah.

120
00:05:07,432 --> 00:05:09,150
Okay, all right.
There's some good news.

121
00:05:09,226 --> 00:05:10,694
Yeah. She converted, right'?
That's so cool.

122
00:05:10,769 --> 00:05:12,316
She doesn't look Jewish at all.

123
00:05:13,230 --> 00:05:15,324
Wow. That was anti-Semitic.

124
00:05:15,774 --> 00:05:16,900
What? No, I just...

125
00:05:16,983 --> 00:05:18,223
See, I can say that, you can't.

126
00:05:18,235 --> 00:05:19,282
You're not Jewish.

127
00:05:19,361 --> 00:05:20,863
No, but I'm close.

128
00:05:21,071 --> 00:05:22,197
What... What does that mean?

129
00:05:22,405 --> 00:05:23,497
I'm an atheist.

130
00:05:24,032 --> 00:05:26,205
- You're two for two right there.
- What? No...

131
00:05:26,284 --> 00:05:28,002
Anyways, did my sister say

132
00:05:28,078 --> 00:05:29,439
what time she's
flying in tomorrow?

133
00:05:29,704 --> 00:05:30,830
Yeah, I was supposed
to pick her up at noon,

134
00:05:30,914 --> 00:05:32,086
but she switched
the flight to earlier,

135
00:05:32,165 --> 00:05:33,337
so now she gets in
at 4:00 in the morning.

136
00:05:33,458 --> 00:05:34,459
Why?

137
00:05:34,584 --> 00:05:35,756
Something about jet lag.

138
00:05:36,503 --> 00:05:38,801
She never listens.
She gains three hours.

139
00:05:38,880 --> 00:05:41,099
Every year, she acts like
she's flying to New Zealand.

140
00:05:41,216 --> 00:05:42,342
She's a freak, man.

141
00:05:42,425 --> 00:05:44,427
Yeah, again,
you can't say that.

142
00:05:44,511 --> 00:05:45,763
No, I...

143
00:05:54,145 --> 00:05:55,362
- Honey...
- Yeah?

144
00:05:55,438 --> 00:05:56,655
Try complimenting her.

145
00:05:56,940 --> 00:05:58,283
Huh? Yeah. What?

146
00:05:58,650 --> 00:05:59,822
To avoid fighting.

147
00:05:59,901 --> 00:06:01,198
Just focus
on something positive.

148
00:06:01,278 --> 00:06:04,703
Tell Jill that
she has nice shoes.

149
00:06:05,448 --> 00:06:06,825
Nice shoes. That's good.

150
00:06:06,908 --> 00:06:08,000
That'll work.

151
00:06:08,451 --> 00:06:10,328
- I love you, honey.
- I love you, too.

152
00:06:10,620 --> 00:06:11,837
And I love my sister.

153
00:06:11,913 --> 00:06:13,290
And I can keep my cool.

154
00:06:13,373 --> 00:06:14,625
It's only four days.

155
00:06:15,292 --> 00:06:16,544
I love my sister.

156
00:06:16,626 --> 00:06:17,843
I love her shoes.

157
00:06:17,919 --> 00:06:19,967
I love my sister.
I love her shoes.

158
00:06:27,804 --> 00:06:28,896
Well, I just...

159
00:06:28,972 --> 00:06:31,066
I can't find him anywhere.

160
00:06:31,141 --> 00:06:33,360
Does he know
what terminal it is'?

161
00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:34,652
I...

162
00:06:35,228 --> 00:06:37,071
Okay, okay, I see him.

163
00:06:37,147 --> 00:06:38,364
All right, I'm hanging up.

164
00:06:39,357 --> 00:06:40,483
How are we doing?

165
00:06:40,859 --> 00:06:42,361
Where were you?

166
00:06:42,444 --> 00:06:44,242
I've been waiting
forever for you.

167
00:06:44,321 --> 00:06:45,868
This place is creeping me out.

168
00:06:46,156 --> 00:06:47,999
Why so many bags?
Are the Knicks traveling with you'?

169
00:06:48,074 --> 00:06:49,435
- What is with this?
- Mom always said,

170
00:06:49,451 --> 00:06:51,012
"it's better to have it
and not need it"

171
00:06:51,036 --> 00:06:52,458
"than to need it
and not have it."

172
00:06:52,579 --> 00:06:53,671
Oh, yeah,
she did say that.

173
00:06:53,747 --> 00:06:54,987
I remember that.
That was cool.

174
00:06:55,165 --> 00:06:56,382
Are you going bald?

175
00:06:56,458 --> 00:06:57,584
- Huh?
- No, no, no, no.

176
00:06:57,667 --> 00:06:59,590
You're getting fatter, and
your hair doesn't realize

177
00:06:59,669 --> 00:07:01,044
that it needs
to cover more face.

178
00:07:01,045 --> 00:07:02,343
- Okay.
- Where'd you put the car?

179
00:07:03,506 --> 00:07:05,099
You really had
to bring your bird?

180
00:07:05,175 --> 00:07:06,301
Yeah,
she's my best friend.

181
00:07:07,510 --> 00:07:09,478
- Anyways, Jill, I was thinking...
- Yeah?

182
00:07:09,679 --> 00:07:11,119
The house is going
to be very crowded

183
00:07:11,181 --> 00:07:13,183
'cause we got the kids,
and all the guests

184
00:07:13,266 --> 00:07:14,939
are coming by,
and blah, blah, blah.

185
00:07:15,018 --> 00:07:16,736
So, there's this new hotel,

186
00:07:16,811 --> 00:07:17,778
a Hilton that they
just built down...

187
00:07:17,854 --> 00:07:20,277
But I want to spend time
with Sofie and Gary.

188
00:07:20,607 --> 00:07:22,359
Why, do you not want me
to stay with you?

189
00:07:22,442 --> 00:07:24,410
No, no, no, no. Of course
I want you to stay with us.

190
00:07:24,486 --> 00:07:25,726
I was just...
I was just saying.

191
00:07:25,862 --> 00:07:27,580
Okay, I'll stay with you, then.

192
00:07:27,864 --> 00:07:30,538
It's too bad, 'cause the hotel
was starting to sound fun.

193
00:07:30,825 --> 00:07:32,452
Why are you doing that?

194
00:07:32,535 --> 00:07:34,082
Why do you sigh so loud?

195
00:07:34,412 --> 00:07:37,040
I just really, really
love your shoes.

196
00:07:37,415 --> 00:07:38,632
You are so weird.

197
00:07:38,708 --> 00:07:40,301
Isn't he weird, Poopsie?

198
00:07:40,418 --> 00:07:42,295
Where were you?

199
00:07:42,671 --> 00:07:44,264
Poopsie gets it.

200
00:07:44,714 --> 00:07:46,261
Yeah. Poopsie really gets it.

201
00:07:46,383 --> 00:07:48,306
She always did get it.

202
00:07:48,385 --> 00:07:49,386
I... It's just...

203
00:07:49,469 --> 00:07:51,346
She always loved getting it.

204
00:07:51,846 --> 00:07:54,315
And then your dad and I
went to the soup kitchen,

205
00:07:54,391 --> 00:07:55,859
and they gave us Otto

206
00:07:55,934 --> 00:07:58,028
to bring to Thanksgiving
dinner this year.

207
00:07:58,895 --> 00:08:01,068
Thanks again for having me.
It's very nice.

208
00:08:01,272 --> 00:08:03,070
Are you going to eat
dinner with us tonight'?

209
00:08:03,358 --> 00:08:04,484
Yes, he is, honey.

210
00:08:04,734 --> 00:08:05,974
And what about tomorrow night'?

211
00:08:06,236 --> 00:08:08,989
Tomorrow, Otto's going
to go back home...

212
00:08:09,072 --> 00:08:10,073
<i>Less.</i>

213
00:08:10,907 --> 00:08:12,079
Sorry.

214
00:08:12,409 --> 00:08:16,539
Uh, Sofia, show Otto
your karate moves.

215
00:08:19,332 --> 00:08:21,412
You know, why don't...
Why don't you go wake up Jill?

216
00:08:21,418 --> 00:08:22,920
- What?
- It's 5:30.

217
00:08:23,169 --> 00:08:25,092
She's here. That's
the important thing.

218
00:08:25,171 --> 00:08:26,297
It counts as a day.

219
00:08:26,298 --> 00:08:28,265
- So what? She's sleeping.
- Jack...

220
00:08:28,383 --> 00:08:30,932
- All right, I'll go check on Jill.
- Thank you.

221
00:08:35,056 --> 00:08:37,024
It's okay, Otto.
It's just her...

222
00:08:44,024 --> 00:08:45,116
Jill.

223
00:08:46,276 --> 00:08:47,903
Wake up.

224
00:08:49,070 --> 00:08:51,493
Okay, stay sleeping.

225
00:08:51,573 --> 00:08:52,745
Jet lag.

226
00:08:52,824 --> 00:08:54,701
- I have a gun!
- Oh, my God!

227
00:08:56,619 --> 00:08:58,212
You see, I live alone.

228
00:08:58,288 --> 00:09:01,383
Poopsie's trained
to watch out for me.

229
00:09:01,833 --> 00:09:03,506
Don't sneak up
like that, all right'?

230
00:09:03,752 --> 00:09:05,004
Where were you?

231
00:09:05,295 --> 00:09:06,638
I don't...

232
00:09:07,255 --> 00:09:09,223
Come downstairs.
Uh, the food's ready.

233
00:09:09,716 --> 00:09:11,593
Can you just lay down
with me for five minutes?

234
00:09:11,843 --> 00:09:13,595
I'm not laying down
with you. No.

235
00:09:13,803 --> 00:09:16,101
Come on. I just want
some twin time.

236
00:09:16,306 --> 00:09:18,525
I'm a grown man.
I'm not laying next to you.

237
00:09:18,600 --> 00:09:20,898
Just have Poopsie lay with you.
I... I don't know.

238
00:09:21,269 --> 00:09:22,771
Aw. All right.

239
00:09:23,605 --> 00:09:26,575
I'll take a bath, and I'll meet
you downstairs in an hour.

240
00:09:29,319 --> 00:09:31,321
Good looking out, Poopsie.

241
00:09:32,614 --> 00:09:34,332
Don't forget your sweat shadow.

242
00:09:34,741 --> 00:09:35,833
What?

243
00:09:36,117 --> 00:09:38,711
All right, just take your
bath and all that stuff,

244
00:09:38,787 --> 00:09:40,835
and then burn those sheets.

245
00:09:43,708 --> 00:09:44,834
Hey, Guys!

246
00:09:45,126 --> 00:09:46,924
Jill! You look amazing.

247
00:09:47,003 --> 00:09:49,597
Aw. Macy's, Marshalls.

248
00:09:51,341 --> 00:09:52,593
Hey, where am I sitting?

249
00:09:52,717 --> 00:09:53,718
What do you mean?

250
00:09:53,802 --> 00:09:55,930
'Cause, usually,
I sit next to you.

251
00:09:56,012 --> 00:09:58,092
So all of a sudden, I'm...
I'm not going to sit here?

252
00:09:58,181 --> 00:10:00,104
Oh, uh, would you...

253
00:10:00,183 --> 00:10:01,504
I thought you could
sit down here.

254
00:10:01,518 --> 00:10:02,610
I always sit next to Jack.

255
00:10:02,685 --> 00:10:04,754
Is there a
reason I'm moving?

256
00:10:04,778 --> 00:10:05,229
No.

257
00:10:05,230 --> 00:10:07,278
Jill, if you'd like, you could sit here.
I'd be happy to move.

258
00:10:07,482 --> 00:10:09,701
Oh, that's okay. You're fine.

259
00:10:09,776 --> 00:10:11,870
If you want to... If you...
Do you want to sit here?

260
00:10:12,946 --> 00:10:14,072
I don't know.

261
00:10:14,239 --> 00:10:17,118
Okay, you just sit in my chair.
How's that?

262
00:10:17,200 --> 00:10:18,247
- There you go.
- All right, thank you.

263
00:10:18,326 --> 00:10:20,294
Gary, is that you?

264
00:10:20,370 --> 00:10:21,411
Yes, it is.

265
00:10:21,412 --> 00:10:23,506
- Look how handsome you are.
- Thank you.

266
00:10:23,581 --> 00:10:24,798
It's so nice to see you.

267
00:10:24,874 --> 00:10:26,751
Look at this leaf.
Look at this.

268
00:10:26,835 --> 00:10:28,178
You have it taped on you?

269
00:10:28,253 --> 00:10:29,379
That's so cute. Yes.

270
00:10:29,462 --> 00:10:30,509
Why did he do that?

271
00:10:30,588 --> 00:10:31,840
He likes tape.

272
00:10:31,923 --> 00:10:34,301
Hey. Sofie, is that you,
or is that you?

273
00:10:35,885 --> 00:10:37,558
Good to see you, Erin.

274
00:10:37,637 --> 00:10:39,184
Good to see you, Jill.
How was your flight?

275
00:10:39,264 --> 00:10:40,641
Oh, the house looks amazing.

276
00:10:40,723 --> 00:10:42,270
You got a new chandelier?

277
00:10:42,642 --> 00:10:43,768
Yeah, yeah.

278
00:10:43,893 --> 00:10:45,566
I loved the old one.

279
00:10:46,062 --> 00:10:47,735
- Oh.
- So,

280
00:10:47,814 --> 00:10:49,987
how's everybody's
Gobble-Gobble Day'?

281
00:10:50,066 --> 00:10:51,818
Great. Excellent.

282
00:10:51,985 --> 00:10:54,738
By the way, Jill,
this is Otto. Otto.

283
00:10:54,946 --> 00:10:56,118
Nice to meet you.

284
00:10:56,948 --> 00:10:58,791
Nice to meet you.

285
00:10:59,701 --> 00:11:02,420
He's homeless, right?

286
00:11:02,996 --> 00:11:04,873
He seems clean,
but you should put

287
00:11:04,956 --> 00:11:07,334
one of those toilet seat
protectors underneath him

288
00:11:07,417 --> 00:11:10,091
to make sure he doesn't
ruin the chair.

289
00:11:10,920 --> 00:11:13,264
Are you whispering with
a bullhorn or something'?

290
00:11:13,339 --> 00:11:14,761
Everybody hears you.

291
00:11:14,966 --> 00:11:18,015
No, they can't,
Mr. Hearing Expert.

292
00:11:20,930 --> 00:11:22,307
- So...
- Pass that down, Daddy.

293
00:11:22,390 --> 00:11:23,858
I'm allowed out here
once a year,

294
00:11:23,933 --> 00:11:24,934
so I tend to miss things.

295
00:11:25,018 --> 00:11:26,520
What's going on?
Anything new'?

296
00:11:26,728 --> 00:11:30,449
Well, Sofie just got her
green belt in karate.

297
00:11:31,608 --> 00:11:33,702
How come I didn't
know about this?

298
00:11:33,776 --> 00:11:36,620
I didn't even know she did karate.
What... I mean,

299
00:11:37,197 --> 00:11:39,038
I feel like I'm in the
Twilight Zone right now.

300
00:11:39,199 --> 00:11:41,873
I'm like Jimmy Stewart
at the end of that movie,

301
00:11:41,951 --> 00:11:44,545
the one where... They...
They're in Pottersville.

302
00:11:44,621 --> 00:11:46,589
What... What is that...
That movie called?

303
00:11:46,789 --> 00:11:48,132
<i>It's a Wonderful Life?</i>

304
00:11:48,208 --> 00:11:49,676
No, no, with Jimmy Stewart.

305
00:11:49,751 --> 00:11:52,470
The... The one where he meets
the angel and he's mad.

306
00:11:53,046 --> 00:11:54,593
<i>It's a Wonderful Life.</i>

307
00:11:54,672 --> 00:11:56,094
Why do you keep saying that?

308
00:11:56,174 --> 00:11:58,393
No, the one where
he falls in the pool

309
00:11:58,468 --> 00:12:01,221
<i>and he sings Buffalo Gals.</i>

310
00:12:01,304 --> 00:12:02,897
He gets all the money
at the end,

311
00:12:02,972 --> 00:12:05,942
and he finds out that his
life really is wonderful.

312
00:12:06,643 --> 00:12:08,020
<i>Star Wars.</i>

313
00:12:08,811 --> 00:12:10,529
They play it every Christmas.

314
00:12:10,605 --> 00:12:13,154
You must have saw it before
Jack made you convert.

315
00:12:13,274 --> 00:12:14,635
What? What are you
doing right now?

316
00:12:15,068 --> 00:12:17,162
Your brother didn't
make me do anything, Jill.

317
00:12:17,320 --> 00:12:19,414
Everyone has to be
like Jack over here.

318
00:12:19,489 --> 00:12:20,911
Even poor Gary.

319
00:12:21,491 --> 00:12:23,084
What?
What does that mean?

320
00:12:23,159 --> 00:12:25,287
You made him switch
from being Indian.

321
00:12:25,495 --> 00:12:26,712
What is wrong with you?

322
00:12:26,788 --> 00:12:28,540
We adopted him when
he was 10 days old.

323
00:12:28,623 --> 00:12:30,000
This is all he knows.

324
00:12:30,124 --> 00:12:33,424
Did you ever think maybe
he tapes things to himself

325
00:12:33,503 --> 00:12:35,756
'cause he doesn't
feel connected?

326
00:12:35,838 --> 00:12:37,806
You know, to his real parents'?

327
00:12:38,508 --> 00:12:40,010
That was very smart.
I just thought of that.

328
00:12:40,093 --> 00:12:41,595
Isn't it? That was interesting.

329
00:12:41,970 --> 00:12:43,563
- Aunt Jill?
- Yes, sweetheart.

330
00:12:43,638 --> 00:12:44,639
Yes, Sofie.

331
00:12:44,806 --> 00:12:46,979
Do you and Daddy
have twin powers?

332
00:12:47,225 --> 00:12:49,603
What's this?
What is twin powers?

333
00:12:49,686 --> 00:12:51,279
<i>It's this thing we saw
on 60 Minutes.</i>

334
00:12:51,354 --> 00:12:53,903
Some twins have strange powers,

335
00:12:53,982 --> 00:12:55,702
and they can feel
when the other one's hurt.

336
00:12:55,858 --> 00:12:57,405
Oh, Jack and I can do that.

337
00:12:58,861 --> 00:13:00,955
What? Why are you
making a face?

338
00:13:01,030 --> 00:13:04,034
When we were kids, you felt
it when I broke my ankle.

339
00:13:04,325 --> 00:13:06,373
I felt it 'cause
you fell on my head.

340
00:13:07,578 --> 00:13:08,921
- You like that one?
- Yeah.

341
00:13:08,997 --> 00:13:10,874
- All right, good, good.
- Oh, please!

342
00:13:10,957 --> 00:13:12,800
Tell me you don't feel this.

343
00:13:13,459 --> 00:13:15,382
I didn't feel it.
Maybe if you did it harder.

344
00:13:17,213 --> 00:13:18,430
Little harder.

345
00:13:19,507 --> 00:13:21,100
No, Jill. Stop it.

346
00:13:21,175 --> 00:13:23,052
- He's kidding.
- What?

347
00:13:25,722 --> 00:13:26,894
Donkey fight!

348
00:13:26,973 --> 00:13:28,896
Jill, are you okay?
Yeah, no, I'm fine.

349
00:13:28,975 --> 00:13:30,898
- Gary, that was...
- He didn't 100% connect.

350
00:13:31,102 --> 00:13:32,319
Feel that, Daddy?

351
00:13:32,520 --> 00:13:34,648
I... I actually did
feel something there.

352
00:13:34,731 --> 00:13:35,857
Pride in my son.

353
00:13:35,940 --> 00:13:37,613
Oh, will you stop it already?

354
00:13:37,692 --> 00:13:40,195
These sweet potatoes need salt.

355
00:13:41,029 --> 00:13:42,576
I'm so sick of that.

356
00:13:42,655 --> 00:13:46,000
Why are you so afraid to
admit that we are connected?

357
00:13:46,075 --> 00:13:47,167
Face it.

358
00:13:47,618 --> 00:13:49,211
We shared Mom's womb.

359
00:13:49,287 --> 00:13:50,755
We were womb-mates.

360
00:13:50,913 --> 00:13:53,086
Oh, that is just disgusting.

361
00:13:53,166 --> 00:13:54,258
I have an idea.

362
00:13:54,334 --> 00:13:55,460
On the show,
there were these twins,

363
00:13:55,543 --> 00:13:56,920
and they finished
each other's sentences.

364
00:13:57,003 --> 00:13:58,346
Jack, maybe you could
start a sentence,

365
00:13:58,421 --> 00:14:00,423
- and Jill, you could finish it.
- No. No.

366
00:14:00,506 --> 00:14:02,133
Come on, Daddy, please!
Please, Daddy, please!

367
00:14:02,216 --> 00:14:03,217
Please. Oh, my God.

368
00:14:03,301 --> 00:14:05,520
Ready to receive mental images.

369
00:14:05,595 --> 00:14:07,347
Beep, beep, beep, beep,
beep, beep, beep, beep...

370
00:14:07,430 --> 00:14:09,273
All right, will you stop?
You're scaring him.

371
00:14:09,349 --> 00:14:11,147
That's just noises
she's making.

372
00:14:11,309 --> 00:14:13,061
- Okay, ready?
- Yes.

373
00:14:13,519 --> 00:14:18,776
I'm very tired,
so I'm going to....

374
00:14:18,983 --> 00:14:20,860
Go to the supermarket.

375
00:14:21,611 --> 00:14:23,329
No, I'm going to sleep.

376
00:14:23,404 --> 00:14:25,827
What is... Why would I go to
a supermarket if I was tired'?

377
00:14:26,074 --> 00:14:27,121
That's what I would do.

378
00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:28,543
The cold air
always wakes you up.

379
00:14:28,618 --> 00:14:29,710
Isn't it nice when it's...

380
00:14:29,786 --> 00:14:31,379
You go over there in
the frozen food section?

381
00:14:31,454 --> 00:14:32,797
God bless...

382
00:14:32,955 --> 00:14:34,673
You! God bless you!

383
00:14:34,791 --> 00:14:36,885
I finished your sentence.
Got you, Pagogo.

384
00:14:38,127 --> 00:14:39,379
What's Pagogo?

385
00:14:39,462 --> 00:14:40,509
Oh, it's... It's a name

386
00:14:40,588 --> 00:14:43,068
that Aunt Jill used to call your
dad when they were growing up.

387
00:14:43,257 --> 00:14:46,227
I was Pokee, and your
father was Pagogo.

388
00:14:46,302 --> 00:14:48,304
We had our own secret language.

389
00:14:49,472 --> 00:14:51,395
Ook maga do do, Pagogo.

390
00:14:52,016 --> 00:14:54,064
I have no idea
what those words mean,

391
00:14:54,143 --> 00:14:56,487
nor have I ever known
what those words meant.

392
00:14:56,604 --> 00:14:58,765
You do know what they mean,
and you're lying right now.

393
00:14:58,773 --> 00:15:00,775
"Ook maga do do"
means "I love you."

394
00:15:01,150 --> 00:15:02,652
"Bongi" means "thank you."

395
00:15:02,735 --> 00:15:03,861
"Klapa" means "left."

396
00:15:03,945 --> 00:15:06,448
Hey, do you remember what
"Locky mocky koko" means'?

397
00:15:06,948 --> 00:15:08,621
Mmm. What does it mean again?

398
00:15:08,825 --> 00:15:09,872
Jack, don't.

399
00:15:10,034 --> 00:15:14,005
It means, "I can't
stand you being here!"

400
00:15:16,666 --> 00:15:18,418
This is really awkward.
I'm going to go.

401
00:15:18,501 --> 00:15:20,629
Dessert is coming.

402
00:15:20,753 --> 00:15:21,754
I'm full.

403
00:15:22,839 --> 00:15:23,931
<i>Okay...</i>

404
00:15:24,006 --> 00:15:26,350
I love how nice we are
to this homeless man,

405
00:15:26,426 --> 00:15:27,678
a person we don't even know,

406
00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:29,762
who probably is pretending
to be homeless!

407
00:15:29,846 --> 00:15:30,938
You don't look homeless to me!

408
00:15:31,013 --> 00:15:32,890
You're fat!
You're al-Qaeda!

409
00:15:35,226 --> 00:15:36,523
Sofia, why don't you
go upstairs?

410
00:15:36,602 --> 00:15:39,196
No, Mom, this is my favorite
part of Thanksgiving.

411
00:15:39,564 --> 00:15:40,941
You know what?
I'm leaving.

412
00:15:41,023 --> 00:15:42,991
I'm leaving. That's it.
That's it. I'm going.

413
00:15:43,067 --> 00:15:44,865
I am going!
I hope you're happy!

414
00:15:45,027 --> 00:15:47,780
I'm sleeping out here
in the woods!

415
00:15:47,864 --> 00:15:49,832
At least the animals
will be nice.

416
00:15:51,284 --> 00:15:54,163
Jill! He's even turning
the kids against me!

417
00:15:54,287 --> 00:15:55,767
- Are you okay?
- Jill, are you all right?

418
00:15:55,830 --> 00:15:57,798
No. See, the kids love you.

419
00:15:57,874 --> 00:15:59,876
And I love them.
And that's the only reason

420
00:15:59,959 --> 00:16:02,303
that I come
back here every year.

421
00:16:02,587 --> 00:16:04,214
Jack, apologize.

422
00:16:04,714 --> 00:16:08,389
I'm sorry that you make everybody
uncomfortable. I really am.

423
00:16:08,551 --> 00:16:09,643
Jack.

424
00:16:09,719 --> 00:16:12,142
All right. I'm sorry about
what I said back there.

425
00:16:12,221 --> 00:16:13,939
I didn't mean it.
I... I love you.

426
00:16:14,223 --> 00:16:15,440
I just feel abandoned.

427
00:16:15,516 --> 00:16:16,859
I'm all alone in the Bronx.

428
00:16:16,934 --> 00:16:18,982
I don't have any family
with me any more.

429
00:16:19,061 --> 00:16:20,187
We didn't abandon you.

430
00:16:20,271 --> 00:16:22,649
I told you, you can Skype
us any time you want.

431
00:16:22,732 --> 00:16:24,053
I don't even know
what that means.

432
00:16:24,066 --> 00:16:26,569
What is Skype?
It sounds anti-Semitic.

433
00:16:26,652 --> 00:16:27,653
What is it?

434
00:16:27,737 --> 00:16:28,738
It's just this Internet thing.

435
00:16:28,821 --> 00:16:30,494
I don't get that!

436
00:16:30,573 --> 00:16:33,122
You know I don't
have a calculator.

437
00:16:33,242 --> 00:16:34,710
- Okay.
- Do you know what?

438
00:16:34,994 --> 00:16:36,416
Our home is your home.

439
00:16:36,579 --> 00:16:38,923
So let's go back.
I have some ice cream.

440
00:16:39,040 --> 00:16:40,883
I don't know, Erin.
I'm too upset.

441
00:16:40,958 --> 00:16:42,210
I can't eat right now.

442
00:16:42,293 --> 00:16:44,170
- What flavor?
- Chocolate.

443
00:16:44,253 --> 00:16:46,847
No. You have maple walnut?
I don't like chocolate.

444
00:16:46,923 --> 00:16:48,550
I... I didn't know
you liked maple walnut.

445
00:16:48,674 --> 00:16:50,597
Hang in there, brother.

446
00:16:51,177 --> 00:16:52,770
She's only here till Sunday.

447
00:16:54,597 --> 00:16:57,692
<i>What is done
cannot now be amended!</i>

448
00:16:58,518 --> 00:17:00,145
Yeah, Ted, I'm looking
at it right now.

449
00:17:00,228 --> 00:17:01,946
So, this was two nights ago?

450
00:17:02,104 --> 00:17:04,402
If I did take the kingdom

451
00:17:04,482 --> 00:17:07,827
<i>from your sons, to make amends,</i>

452
00:17:09,654 --> 00:17:11,748
<i>I give it to your daughter.</i>

453
00:17:15,326 --> 00:17:16,669
<i>Will you get that?</i>

454
00:17:16,911 --> 00:17:18,037
Whoa.

455
00:17:18,120 --> 00:17:20,373
<i>You have a phone in your hand!</i>

456
00:17:20,456 --> 00:17:25,838
<i>You are told before the play
starts not to have it ring!</i>

457
00:17:26,087 --> 00:17:28,055
<i>Shut all cell phones off!</i>

458
00:17:28,130 --> 00:17:29,677
<i>This is what the man said!</i>

459
00:17:30,132 --> 00:17:32,885
Yeah, this guy's going to do
a Dunkin' Donuts commercial.

460
00:17:33,344 --> 00:17:34,766
<i>This has got to stop.</i>

461
00:17:35,137 --> 00:17:36,309
<i>I'm losing my mind.</i>

462
00:17:36,639 --> 00:17:38,141
<i>Help me.</i>

463
00:17:38,266 --> 00:17:39,313
<i>Where am I?</i>

464
00:17:39,600 --> 00:17:42,023
<i>Thank you.
Thank you all for coming.</i>

465
00:17:42,353 --> 00:17:43,570
Yeah.

466
00:17:43,646 --> 00:17:45,569
How do you know Pacino's
going to a Laker game'?

467
00:17:46,482 --> 00:17:47,654
Well, yeah, get the tickets,

468
00:17:47,733 --> 00:17:49,201
but how am I even going
to get near the guy'?

469
00:17:49,277 --> 00:17:51,154
He's going to have
security or something.

470
00:17:51,237 --> 00:17:53,117
I'm not telling my wife
to wear something trashy

471
00:17:53,197 --> 00:17:54,369
just 'cause it would
save our company.

472
00:17:54,448 --> 00:17:56,249
Unless she wants to.
I mean, that's her thing.

473
00:17:56,909 --> 00:17:57,956
No...

474
00:17:58,035 --> 00:17:59,833
I'm hanging up the phone.
Goodbye.

475
00:18:02,665 --> 00:18:04,759
Excuse me, Mrs. Erin,
the magnolia branch

476
00:18:04,834 --> 00:18:06,677
in the backyard
could fall off any time.

477
00:18:06,752 --> 00:18:08,504
I mean, I don't want
anyone to get hurt.

478
00:18:08,588 --> 00:18:09,669
Should I take it down now'?

479
00:18:09,714 --> 00:18:10,886
Oh, oh, yeah, sure, sure.

480
00:18:10,965 --> 00:18:12,182
Whatever...
Whatever you think, Felipe.

481
00:18:12,258 --> 00:18:13,259
<i>Okay...</i>

482
00:18:13,342 --> 00:18:14,782
Oh, did you have
a nice Thanksgiving?

483
00:18:15,094 --> 00:18:16,937
Yeah, I had the whole
family come over.

484
00:18:17,346 --> 00:18:19,565
Even my Aunt Rosa snuck
across the border.

485
00:18:20,850 --> 00:18:22,818
I'm kidding, I'm kidding!

486
00:18:24,186 --> 00:18:26,029
Who are you?
Are you a gardener or something?

487
00:18:26,188 --> 00:18:28,532
No, I... I don't
just do gardening.

488
00:18:28,608 --> 00:18:29,734
I do impressions, too.

489
00:18:30,151 --> 00:18:33,701
When Immigration shows up, I do
a great impression of a tree.

490
00:18:36,532 --> 00:18:38,330
I'm kidding, I'm kidding!

491
00:18:38,409 --> 00:18:40,662
Oh, strong. All right.

492
00:18:40,745 --> 00:18:41,985
Jay Leno better watch his back.

493
00:18:42,288 --> 00:18:43,380
You know it.

494
00:18:43,789 --> 00:18:45,041
Nice to meet you, señorita.

495
00:18:45,124 --> 00:18:46,501
Okay, nice to meet you.

496
00:18:48,044 --> 00:18:49,466
What is he doing?

497
00:18:49,545 --> 00:18:51,547
What is his problem?

498
00:18:52,298 --> 00:18:54,141
Oh, oh! Jack, Jack, Jack!

499
00:18:54,216 --> 00:18:55,388
I put a little list together

500
00:18:55,468 --> 00:18:58,096
of things I want to
do before I leave, so...

501
00:18:58,387 --> 00:19:00,981
Oh, my God.
I got to touch that?

502
00:19:01,057 --> 00:19:02,229
Yeah.

503
00:19:02,475 --> 00:19:04,227
"Studio tour, beach,"

504
00:19:04,393 --> 00:19:06,691
"horseback riding,
get on a game show."

505
00:19:06,896 --> 00:19:08,614
You can't get through
all this stuff.

506
00:19:08,689 --> 00:19:09,906
You're leaving Sunday.

507
00:19:10,733 --> 00:19:11,905
I don't know.

508
00:19:12,234 --> 00:19:14,032
What do you mean, you don't know?
You know.

509
00:19:14,695 --> 00:19:16,618
I just wanted to
have fun out here,

510
00:19:16,697 --> 00:19:18,540
and, you know,
we fought last night.

511
00:19:18,616 --> 00:19:21,369
I just... I feel really
weird leaving like that.

512
00:19:21,577 --> 00:19:22,999
What do you mean?
It was a great night.

513
00:19:23,079 --> 00:19:25,923
We... We ate food, we ran in the woods.
It was fun.

514
00:19:26,248 --> 00:19:29,218
I just... Maybe I should
stay out through Hanukkah.

515
00:19:29,877 --> 00:19:31,129
Mom's gone now,

516
00:19:31,212 --> 00:19:33,135
so there's really nothing
for me to go back to.

517
00:19:33,214 --> 00:19:34,215
Stay, then! Stay!

518
00:19:34,340 --> 00:19:36,843
She can't stay.
Because of your airline ticket.

519
00:19:36,926 --> 00:19:38,018
It's, like,
the busiest time of year.

520
00:19:38,094 --> 00:19:39,494
We'll never get you
a return flight.

521
00:19:39,929 --> 00:19:42,557
That's why I used my twin hunch

522
00:19:42,640 --> 00:19:44,142
in knowing that we would fight,

523
00:19:44,225 --> 00:19:45,852
and I have
an open-ended ticket.

524
00:19:47,144 --> 00:19:49,897
Hanukkah!
Hanukkah! Hanukkah! Hanukkah!

525
00:19:54,193 --> 00:19:55,661
He's going to be mad.

526
00:19:55,736 --> 00:19:57,176
I don't know where
we parked the car.

527
00:19:57,238 --> 00:19:59,161
I don't know.

528
00:19:59,240 --> 00:20:01,208
I just want to go on with
them because they look scared.

529
00:20:01,283 --> 00:20:03,035
I know if I was riding
with them, they would...

530
00:20:03,119 --> 00:20:04,621
I know you say
I weigh too much,

531
00:20:04,704 --> 00:20:05,876
but I don't think I do.

532
00:20:05,955 --> 00:20:09,334
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

533
00:20:09,417 --> 00:20:11,715
Okay, I'm ready! Let's go!

534
00:20:11,794 --> 00:20:13,341
Oh, my God!

535
00:20:13,421 --> 00:20:16,015
Oh, God! Look, I'm so sorry.

536
00:20:16,090 --> 00:20:17,387
I weigh too much.

537
00:20:17,466 --> 00:20:18,638
You were right!

538
00:20:22,096 --> 00:20:23,348
Gary...

539
00:20:23,848 --> 00:20:25,566
At least put a helmet
on that thing.

540
00:20:25,808 --> 00:20:28,186
<i>♪ With your fancy friends ♪</i>

541
00:20:28,269 --> 00:20:30,897
<i>♪ I'm telling you ♪
♪ it's got to be the end ♪</i>

542
00:20:30,980 --> 00:20:33,699
<i>♪ Don't bring me down ♪</i>

543
00:20:33,774 --> 00:20:37,028
<i>♪ No, no, no, no, no ♪</i>

544
00:20:37,111 --> 00:20:39,910
<i>♪ Ooh-ooh, hoo... ♪</i>

545
00:20:40,781 --> 00:20:42,033
What are you doing?

546
00:20:43,159 --> 00:20:45,207
Why can't I just lay with you?

547
00:20:46,495 --> 00:20:48,042
You're a weirdo!

548
00:20:48,914 --> 00:20:50,382
<i>All right, welcome back
to The Price Is Right.</i>

549
00:20:50,458 --> 00:20:51,675
Let's find out who's next.

550
00:20:51,834 --> 00:20:55,088
<i>Jill Sadelstein, come on down!</i>

551
00:20:55,755 --> 00:20:59,259
<i>You're the next contestant
on The Price is Right.</i>

552
00:20:59,341 --> 00:21:00,968
All right, Jill, go ahead and spin
the wheel, whenever you're ready.

553
00:21:01,051 --> 00:21:02,223
You are the best, Drew.

554
00:21:02,303 --> 00:21:04,021
This is awesome, guys!

555
00:21:04,096 --> 00:21:05,097
Go ahead and...

556
00:21:05,181 --> 00:21:06,398
Are you married or not?

557
00:21:06,474 --> 00:21:07,795
Uh, no.
Go ahead and...

558
00:21:07,808 --> 00:21:08,900
Whoo-whoo!

559
00:21:10,352 --> 00:21:11,729
Jill, go ahead
and spin the wheel.

560
00:21:11,812 --> 00:21:13,234
No, because I know
once I spin it,

561
00:21:13,314 --> 00:21:14,907
I don't get to be
near you any more.

562
00:21:14,982 --> 00:21:16,609
On.

563
00:21:16,692 --> 00:21:17,784
All right. All right.

564
00:21:17,860 --> 00:21:18,952
Hey, Gary, Sofie.

565
00:21:19,028 --> 00:21:20,746
Come on, guys, one dollar!

566
00:21:20,863 --> 00:21:22,410
- One dollar. Good luck to you.
- One dollar's the winner!

567
00:21:22,490 --> 00:21:23,616
Whoo!

568
00:21:26,202 --> 00:21:27,579
I never saw that before.

569
00:21:27,661 --> 00:21:29,584
Uh, hey, just give her
a bunch of prizes.

570
00:21:29,663 --> 00:21:31,506
We'll be right back right
after this. Don't go away.

571
00:21:31,582 --> 00:21:32,629
Call an ambulance.

572
00:21:35,002 --> 00:21:36,629
It banged me good.

573
00:21:36,712 --> 00:21:39,966
Then, when I hit the floor,
that's when I really went out.

574
00:21:40,049 --> 00:21:41,972
But when I came to,
it was good.

575
00:21:42,051 --> 00:21:43,473
They had prizes for me.

576
00:21:43,677 --> 00:21:45,975
<i>Say hello to my little friend!</i>

577
00:21:49,391 --> 00:21:50,438
<i>Do you want
to play rough? Okay.</i>

578
00:21:53,687 --> 00:21:55,109
What is she doing now?

579
00:21:59,026 --> 00:22:00,152
I don't know...

580
00:22:00,236 --> 00:22:02,284
Whoa! It's hard to hold on.

581
00:22:02,363 --> 00:22:04,240
Please don't destroy my pool.

582
00:22:04,365 --> 00:22:06,083
I've got it now. I...

583
00:22:13,374 --> 00:22:14,591
Ow, my head!

584
00:22:25,594 --> 00:22:27,141
But it's such a waste.

585
00:22:27,221 --> 00:22:28,643
<i>A full moon, an empty yacht.</i>

586
00:22:28,722 --> 00:22:29,974
<i>I'll throw up.</i>

587
00:22:30,057 --> 00:22:31,183
<i>I'll be.</i>

588
00:22:34,728 --> 00:22:35,980
<i>About the roadhouse...</i>

589
00:22:36,981 --> 00:22:39,279
<i>They have a Cuban band
that's the berries.</i>

590
00:22:39,525 --> 00:22:41,653
<i>Let's go there,
blindfold the orchestra,</i>

591
00:22:41,735 --> 00:22:43,328
<i>and tango till dawn.</i>

592
00:22:43,529 --> 00:22:44,781
<i>Do you know
something, Mr. Fielding?</i>

593
00:22:44,864 --> 00:22:45,865
What?

594
00:22:45,948 --> 00:22:46,949
<i>You're dynamite.</i>

595
00:22:47,032 --> 00:22:48,158
Daddy.

596
00:22:48,617 --> 00:22:51,541
You and Jill are so alike.

597
00:22:52,121 --> 00:22:54,215
We are nothing alike,
I promise you.

598
00:23:05,759 --> 00:23:07,261
<i>Well?</i>

599
00:23:08,929 --> 00:23:11,057
I'm not quite sure.

600
00:23:11,140 --> 00:23:12,733
<i>Would you try it again?</i>

601
00:23:21,442 --> 00:23:23,365
Just watch the movie.

602
00:23:23,444 --> 00:23:27,699
<i>I got a funny
sensation in my toes.</i>

603
00:23:27,781 --> 00:23:30,785
<i>Like someone was barbecuing
them over a slow flame.</i>

604
00:23:36,498 --> 00:23:37,590
<i>I think you're on
the right track.</i>

605
00:23:39,460 --> 00:23:41,554
<i>I must be.</i>

606
00:23:41,629 --> 00:23:43,631
<i>Your glasses are
beginning to steam up.</i>

607
00:23:54,975 --> 00:23:56,067
Hello?

608
00:23:56,143 --> 00:23:57,736
Shh!
Mrs. Applebaum.

609
00:23:57,811 --> 00:23:59,609
Hi. Yeah, no...

610
00:23:59,688 --> 00:24:00,689
What are you doing?

611
00:24:00,773 --> 00:24:01,945
It wasn't an emergency.

612
00:24:02,024 --> 00:24:03,571
I just wanted to see
how my plants were doing.

613
00:24:03,651 --> 00:24:05,244
Please stop talking!

614
00:24:05,361 --> 00:24:07,113
- Okay, and you turned the heat off?
- Turn off the phone.

615
00:24:07,196 --> 00:24:08,994
All the way off, though?

616
00:24:09,073 --> 00:24:10,199
Jill, Jill!

617
00:24:10,282 --> 00:24:12,284
Yeah, I can't hear her.
I'm trying to...

618
00:24:12,368 --> 00:24:13,620
I'm on the phone.

619
00:24:13,702 --> 00:24:15,500
Well, get off the phone,
you psycho!

620
00:24:18,207 --> 00:24:19,424
No, don't cry.

621
00:24:19,500 --> 00:24:20,626
You know what?

622
00:24:20,709 --> 00:24:21,801
- Don't run away.
- You just...

623
00:24:21,877 --> 00:24:22,998
Don't go in the woods. Jill!

624
00:24:23,003 --> 00:24:24,003
I can't believe it.

625
00:24:24,046 --> 00:24:26,094
Hey!

626
00:24:26,173 --> 00:24:28,141
It's the last night
of Hanukkah!

627
00:24:28,217 --> 00:24:29,434
Come on, already!

628
00:24:29,510 --> 00:24:30,510
It's happy time!

629
00:24:30,552 --> 00:24:32,020
Dude, way to yell at a chick.

630
00:24:32,096 --> 00:24:33,097
That's awesome.

631
00:24:33,180 --> 00:24:34,306
That was a chick?

632
00:24:34,390 --> 00:24:36,859
Yeah, that was a chick.
Really.

633
00:24:39,395 --> 00:24:41,068
Hey! The brake.

634
00:24:41,355 --> 00:24:42,607
Hey, hey, I can do it!

635
00:24:42,690 --> 00:24:43,942
It's all right! I got it!
I can do it!

636
00:24:44,024 --> 00:24:45,025
It's all right!

637
00:24:45,109 --> 00:24:46,156
Hey, I can do it.

638
00:24:46,235 --> 00:24:47,452
It's okay.

639
00:24:47,528 --> 00:24:49,121
It goes fast.

640
00:24:49,196 --> 00:24:50,448
I'm getting it on him.

641
00:24:50,739 --> 00:24:52,286
She's crazy.

642
00:24:52,366 --> 00:24:53,993
She's crazy.
She's never leaving.

643
00:24:54,076 --> 00:24:56,795
Well, she was going to leave
until you called her "psycho."

644
00:24:56,870 --> 00:24:59,339
She's forwarding
her mail to us now!

645
00:24:59,415 --> 00:25:01,463
<i>Highlights magazine.</i>

646
00:25:01,542 --> 00:25:03,840
<i>Birdy magazine
addressed to Poopsie!</i>

647
00:25:03,919 --> 00:25:05,341
Okay, okay.

648
00:25:05,421 --> 00:25:07,344
Did you ever think
that maybe she's lonely

649
00:25:07,423 --> 00:25:10,017
and she needs someone to
get her through the holidays'?

650
00:25:10,092 --> 00:25:12,015
She needs a guy.

651
00:25:12,094 --> 00:25:14,188
- She needs a guy!
- No, no, no, no.

652
00:25:14,263 --> 00:25:15,480
If we don't get her a guy
by New Year's,

653
00:25:15,556 --> 00:25:17,103
she's gonna come
on the cruise ship with us.

654
00:25:17,182 --> 00:25:19,810
We'll be locked on a boat for
seven days! I'll kill myself!

655
00:25:19,893 --> 00:25:21,486
Do not get involved
in her love life.

656
00:25:22,771 --> 00:25:24,648
Aunt Jill, why don't
you have any kids'?

657
00:25:24,732 --> 00:25:26,700
Gary, did you make
your bed this morning?

658
00:25:26,775 --> 00:25:28,527
It's okay, Erin.
You don't have to...

659
00:25:28,610 --> 00:25:29,657
I can tell him.

660
00:25:29,737 --> 00:25:31,660
Gary, I have all the equipment

661
00:25:31,739 --> 00:25:34,208
and it seems to be
functioning well.

662
00:25:34,283 --> 00:25:36,581
I get a little reminder
every 30 days or so.

663
00:25:37,411 --> 00:25:40,460
But the point is, Gary,
I was never married.

664
00:25:41,290 --> 00:25:42,382
Why?

665
00:25:42,458 --> 00:25:45,007
Well, everyone
loved your father.

666
00:25:45,085 --> 00:25:46,553
He was more of a gadfly.

667
00:25:46,628 --> 00:25:48,221
Me, I kept to myself,

668
00:25:48,297 --> 00:25:50,516
made sure Grandma
and Grandpa were okay.

669
00:25:50,966 --> 00:25:53,685
But everybody loves Aunt Jill
just as much <i>as</i> Daddy.

670
00:25:53,761 --> 00:25:54,761
Or more.

671
00:25:54,803 --> 00:25:56,521
Don't say that.

672
00:25:56,597 --> 00:25:59,851
Your father, he might act
tough, but he has thin skin.

673
00:25:59,933 --> 00:26:01,185
You'd hurt his feelings.

674
00:26:01,268 --> 00:26:03,362
Aunt Jill, did you date boys'?

675
00:26:03,437 --> 00:26:05,030
I liked boys.

676
00:26:05,105 --> 00:26:07,733
They just, they...
They never liked me back.

677
00:26:07,816 --> 00:26:11,070
My friend Mimi's mom dates boys
she meets on the computer.

678
00:26:11,153 --> 00:26:13,497
Oh, I've heard of this.
Yeah, I would do that.

679
00:26:13,572 --> 00:26:17,042
It's just, I don't know how
to use a computer or a radar.

680
00:26:17,117 --> 00:26:18,369
Or a robot or whatever.

681
00:26:18,452 --> 00:26:19,624
Well, let's show her!

682
00:26:19,703 --> 00:26:21,376
- Jack.
- No, no, no.

683
00:26:21,455 --> 00:26:22,935
Uh, Sofie's the one
who brought it up.

684
00:26:22,956 --> 00:26:24,208
It's her. She did it.

685
00:26:24,291 --> 00:26:26,089
I would do it.
I mean, what the heck'?

686
00:26:26,168 --> 00:26:27,545
It's no biggie.
Let's go for it.

687
00:26:27,628 --> 00:26:29,926
I need a man.

688
00:26:30,005 --> 00:26:31,723
So many to choose from.

689
00:26:31,799 --> 00:26:32,925
Match.com.

690
00:26:33,008 --> 00:26:34,225
That's a good one.

691
00:26:34,301 --> 00:26:35,598
Uh, eHarmony, I've heard of.

692
00:26:35,677 --> 00:26:37,099
They have commercials.

693
00:26:37,179 --> 00:26:38,931
MySoul-Mate.net.

694
00:26:39,014 --> 00:26:41,563
I like that because
I got a little soul.

695
00:26:43,310 --> 00:26:46,405
Okay, so it says to
press here to register

696
00:26:46,480 --> 00:26:48,528
for your perfect soul mate.

697
00:26:50,609 --> 00:26:51,906
No't like that.

698
00:26:51,985 --> 00:26:53,407
No. Like this.

699
00:26:53,695 --> 00:26:55,948
What are you,
a computer whiz?

700
00:26:56,031 --> 00:26:58,659
You would think he'd be the
genius, being from India.

701
00:26:59,243 --> 00:27:00,916
Now, India's, uh,

702
00:27:00,994 --> 00:27:02,246
really amazing lately.

703
00:27:02,329 --> 00:27:03,797
They're just leading the pack.

704
00:27:03,872 --> 00:27:05,124
I read in Time magazine,
they're number one.

705
00:27:05,207 --> 00:27:06,707
China's number two.

706
00:27:06,708 --> 00:27:08,301
The Jews, we're back
to number three. Okay.

707
00:27:08,377 --> 00:27:09,378
Four is Germany,

708
00:27:09,461 --> 00:27:10,621
so let's watch out, everyone.

709
00:27:10,671 --> 00:27:11,831
All right, all right, listen,

710
00:27:11,839 --> 00:27:12,840
you got to pick
a username, Jill,

711
00:27:12,923 --> 00:27:13,924
so just do that.

712
00:27:14,007 --> 00:27:15,475
A username?

713
00:27:15,551 --> 00:27:17,098
Uh, how about Manilow?

714
00:27:17,177 --> 00:27:18,975
'Cause he can use me
anytime he wants to.

715
00:27:20,722 --> 00:27:22,602
Just kidding. I hope
you didn't understand that.

716
00:27:22,683 --> 00:27:24,606
It's a little risqué
for your age.

717
00:27:24,685 --> 00:27:25,902
Okay, now you load
your profile picture

718
00:27:25,978 --> 00:27:27,446
that Sofie took of you.

719
00:27:27,521 --> 00:27:29,114
Mmm-hmm, can't wait to see this.

720
00:27:29,189 --> 00:27:30,862
My picture is embarrassing.

721
00:27:30,941 --> 00:27:31,942
Put it up.

722
00:27:36,071 --> 00:27:37,698
Is it too va-va-voomish?

723
00:27:38,699 --> 00:27:39,825
No, it's very natural.

724
00:27:39,908 --> 00:27:41,455
Ah, maybe I should
have gone with

725
00:27:41,535 --> 00:27:42,661
peanut butter and jelly.

726
00:27:42,744 --> 00:27:44,291
This... I like it, I like it.

727
00:27:44,371 --> 00:27:46,044
Forget it. I'm committing
to it. So, what?

728
00:27:46,373 --> 00:27:47,373
If somebody likes me,

729
00:27:47,416 --> 00:27:49,009
the little envelope thing
will be blinking?

730
00:27:49,084 --> 00:27:51,337
I just, I love this so much.

731
00:27:51,420 --> 00:27:54,299
I crave this, family time.

732
00:27:54,381 --> 00:27:57,760
It's why you have a family.

733
00:28:00,721 --> 00:28:02,974
<i>A ham this good only comes
once a generation.</i>

734
00:28:03,056 --> 00:28:04,649
<i>Like me.</i>

735
00:28:04,725 --> 00:28:07,478
<i>I give this ham four rings.</i>

736
00:28:07,561 --> 00:28:09,359
<i>That's a hell of
a good ham right there.</i>

737
00:28:10,439 --> 00:28:11,736
Whose idea was the wig?

738
00:28:12,107 --> 00:28:14,701
Oh, that was his choice.

739
00:28:14,776 --> 00:28:16,995
I think it's great that Shaq
doesn't look like Shaq at all,

740
00:28:17,070 --> 00:28:19,823
that he looks like
Al Sharpton on HGH.

741
00:28:19,907 --> 00:28:21,454
<i>♪ Ham-a-lam-a-ding-dong, ♪
♪ ham-a-lam-a-ding-dong... ♪</i>

742
00:28:21,533 --> 00:28:22,876
Turn the TV off.

743
00:28:23,869 --> 00:28:24,870
So, how long does it take

744
00:28:24,953 --> 00:28:27,001
to get a response on one of
those computer dating things'?

745
00:28:27,080 --> 00:28:28,172
I'm, uh, I'm new to this.

746
00:28:28,248 --> 00:28:29,545
I mean, it can take,

747
00:28:29,625 --> 00:28:31,218
it can take a day,
it can take a week.

748
00:28:31,293 --> 00:28:33,136
You know what I mean?
For someone like her...

749
00:28:33,545 --> 00:28:35,013
What was that? What was...

750
00:28:35,088 --> 00:28:36,385
Why'd you say, "like her"?

751
00:28:36,465 --> 00:28:37,717
Someone like her.

752
00:28:37,799 --> 00:28:40,222
Like, uh, in her 40s,
still single.

753
00:28:40,302 --> 00:28:42,270
You know what I mean?
Incredibly homely.

754
00:28:42,638 --> 00:28:44,732
Wow, you hate your job,
don't you?

755
00:28:44,806 --> 00:28:46,854
No. I only said that 'cause
you said that one time.

756
00:28:46,934 --> 00:28:48,402
I can say that
'cause I'm her twin.

757
00:28:48,602 --> 00:28:50,195
Hey, Jack,
Laker game tomorrow night.

758
00:28:50,270 --> 00:28:52,068
We got to make
that Pacino thing happen.

759
00:28:52,147 --> 00:28:53,740
Every body's really nervous
around here.

760
00:28:53,815 --> 00:28:55,237
Yeah, I know, I know.

761
00:28:55,317 --> 00:28:56,739
What's this about a twin?

762
00:28:56,818 --> 00:28:58,240
Oh, Jack. He has a twin sister.

763
00:28:58,445 --> 00:28:59,617
Are you kidding me?

764
00:28:59,696 --> 00:29:01,539
You never told me
you had a twin sister.

765
00:29:01,615 --> 00:29:03,037
No, no, I mean, she's...

766
00:29:03,116 --> 00:29:04,538
Identical or fraternal?

767
00:29:04,618 --> 00:29:06,416
Nocturnal, like a bat.

768
00:29:08,121 --> 00:29:09,543
Really?

769
00:29:09,998 --> 00:29:11,671
I'll pack my stuff up, man.

770
00:29:18,924 --> 00:29:20,926
How we doing in here?

771
00:29:27,557 --> 00:29:29,400
Hey, what happened?

772
00:29:29,476 --> 00:29:32,104
Aunt Jill checked to see
if any boys liked her.

773
00:29:32,187 --> 00:29:34,440
The blinking thing
never blinked.

774
00:29:34,523 --> 00:29:36,446
Oh, that's awful.

775
00:29:37,359 --> 00:29:38,531
If people could only see

776
00:29:38,610 --> 00:29:40,578
how good she can
open a pickle jar...

777
00:29:40,654 --> 00:29:41,746
Yeah, I know.

778
00:29:41,822 --> 00:29:43,244
You're right.

779
00:29:43,323 --> 00:29:45,166
Okay, see you guys.

780
00:29:52,332 --> 00:29:55,085
Okay, where do I find
desperate guys'?

781
00:29:55,168 --> 00:29:57,796
<i>Twitter, Maxim,</i>

782
00:29:57,879 --> 00:29:59,677
Craigs list.

783
00:30:01,550 --> 00:30:02,767
Oh, yeah.

784
00:30:02,843 --> 00:30:04,937
Casual Encounters.

785
00:30:05,012 --> 00:30:07,106
All right, savages, get ready.

786
00:30:07,180 --> 00:30:10,229
Anyone wanting
to meet a nice...

787
00:30:10,309 --> 00:30:11,936
No, I need someone immediately.

788
00:30:12,019 --> 00:30:13,771
Not "nice."

789
00:30:13,854 --> 00:30:17,108
Um... Anyone wanting to meet

790
00:30:17,190 --> 00:30:21,991
a sexy gymnast model...

791
00:30:22,070 --> 00:30:25,074
No, I can't lie so much.

792
00:30:25,157 --> 00:30:26,409
Uh...

793
00:30:27,367 --> 00:30:28,960
A hot...

794
00:30:30,037 --> 00:30:32,085
Hi, Poopsie.

795
00:30:33,165 --> 00:30:35,338
Yeah, "hot" works.

796
00:30:35,417 --> 00:30:36,714
Crazy...

797
00:30:40,422 --> 00:30:41,639
Hey!

798
00:30:42,758 --> 00:30:44,431
Personal masseuse...

799
00:30:44,885 --> 00:30:46,478
Oh. I pull really hard.

800
00:30:46,553 --> 00:30:47,645
Watch your mother.

801
00:30:47,721 --> 00:30:49,018
She's going to have relief.

802
00:30:49,097 --> 00:30:50,144
Mmm-hmm. What happened?

803
00:30:50,223 --> 00:30:51,475
Is she sleeping or something?

804
00:30:52,184 --> 00:30:53,481
Knockout.

805
00:30:53,727 --> 00:30:55,695
- One dollar. Good luck to you.
- One dollar's the winner!

806
00:30:55,771 --> 00:30:57,023
Whoo!

807
00:30:59,358 --> 00:31:02,658
For the night of your life,

808
00:31:02,736 --> 00:31:05,034
go to Manilow

809
00:31:05,113 --> 00:31:08,993
at mySoul-Mate.net.

810
00:31:10,744 --> 00:31:13,418
Oh, man, I'm really
throwing her to the wolves.

811
00:31:14,289 --> 00:31:16,041
But it has to be done.

812
00:31:17,751 --> 00:31:19,879
Wow.

813
00:31:19,961 --> 00:31:21,713
We're not going to tell
anyone about this, are we'?

814
00:31:21,797 --> 00:31:23,891
Where were you?

815
00:31:23,965 --> 00:31:26,809
I trust you can
keep a secret, kid!

816
00:31:27,928 --> 00:31:29,020
You guys!

817
00:31:29,096 --> 00:31:30,894
You guys!
Are you sitting down'?

818
00:31:30,972 --> 00:31:33,816
I got over 100 responses
on the computer!

819
00:31:34,976 --> 00:31:36,398
Whoa-ho-ho!

820
00:31:36,478 --> 00:31:38,526
Look at Miss Popular,
all of a sudden.

821
00:31:38,605 --> 00:31:40,073
I mean, some of them
are weirdoes,

822
00:31:40,148 --> 00:31:41,650
but some of them are so nice!

823
00:31:41,733 --> 00:31:44,907
I wrote one guy back,
and we're going out tonight!

824
00:31:44,986 --> 00:31:46,078
Oh, my God!

825
00:31:46,154 --> 00:31:47,747
Whoa! I love it!

826
00:31:47,823 --> 00:31:48,915
Oh, my God!

827
00:31:48,990 --> 00:31:50,742
Yeah.

828
00:31:50,826 --> 00:31:52,826
I'm so scared. I don't know
what I'm going to wear.

829
00:31:52,828 --> 00:31:53,795
Oh, I'll help you.
I'll help you.

830
00:31:53,870 --> 00:31:55,213
I'm freaking out.

831
00:31:55,288 --> 00:31:56,881
I feel like Julia Roberts
in that movie.

832
00:31:56,957 --> 00:31:58,174
<i>Pretty Woman.</i>

833
00:31:58,250 --> 00:31:59,877
No, no, no, the one
where she's a hooker.

834
00:31:59,960 --> 00:32:01,086
What's the name of that one?

835
00:32:01,169 --> 00:32:02,546
<i>- Uh, Pretty Woman?
- No, no, no!</i>

836
00:32:02,629 --> 00:32:03,676
Why are you saying that?

837
00:32:03,755 --> 00:32:04,756
No, the other one.

838
00:32:05,090 --> 00:32:06,342
What's the matter with you?

839
00:32:07,134 --> 00:32:08,932
What's she going to wear?

840
00:32:09,511 --> 00:32:11,184
What are you
going to wear, Daddy'?

841
00:32:11,680 --> 00:32:12,897
In Hell.

842
00:32:15,016 --> 00:32:16,393
Shut up.

843
00:32:16,685 --> 00:32:18,562
This is like waiting
for the queen.

844
00:32:18,645 --> 00:32:20,067
Yeah, yeah. Well, let's see
what's taking her so long.

845
00:32:20,147 --> 00:32:21,740
Go up there, speed her along.

846
00:32:21,815 --> 00:32:23,067
Come on, go, go, go.

847
00:32:24,818 --> 00:32:25,944
I'm answering it!

848
00:32:26,027 --> 00:32:27,654
Funbucket's here!

849
00:32:27,737 --> 00:32:28,909
Funbucket?

850
00:32:28,989 --> 00:32:29,990
Oh, tell him
I'm not ready!

851
00:32:30,073 --> 00:32:31,074
Tell him I'm not home!

852
00:32:31,158 --> 00:32:32,330
She'll be right down.

853
00:32:32,409 --> 00:32:34,912
No! No, it won't zip!
It won't zip!

854
00:32:36,121 --> 00:32:37,464
- Hey!
- Hey.

855
00:32:38,331 --> 00:32:39,457
Are you Funbucket?

856
00:32:39,583 --> 00:32:40,675
Yeah, that's me.

857
00:32:40,834 --> 00:32:42,461
You don't look like
a Funbucket.

858
00:32:42,544 --> 00:32:45,673
I was picturing someone
more fun or buckety.

859
00:32:46,047 --> 00:32:48,675
You're not the crazy,
hot masseuse, are you?

860
00:32:48,758 --> 00:32:49,930
I want you to tell me
right up front,

861
00:32:50,010 --> 00:32:51,770
'cause if you are,
I'm not paying for dinner.

862
00:32:52,179 --> 00:32:53,476
Come here.

863
00:32:53,555 --> 00:32:55,978
If you mention Craigslist
to her or do anything

864
00:32:56,057 --> 00:32:57,434
that hurts her,
I will stick my foot...

865
00:32:57,517 --> 00:32:58,769
Funbucket?

866
00:32:59,478 --> 00:33:00,650
Manilow?

867
00:33:07,360 --> 00:33:13,117
<i>♪ Somewhere in the night, ♪
♪ we will know ♪</i>

868
00:33:13,200 --> 00:33:17,626
<i>♪ Everything lovers can know ♪</i>

869
00:33:17,704 --> 00:33:22,130
<i>♪ You're my song ♪</i>

870
00:33:22,209 --> 00:33:26,555
<i>♪ Music too magic to end ♪</i>

871
00:33:26,630 --> 00:33:30,180
<i>♪ I'll play you ♪
♪ over and over... ♪</i>

872
00:33:31,176 --> 00:33:32,894
So, yeah, you know what?

873
00:33:32,969 --> 00:33:34,186
I'll be up-front with you.

874
00:33:34,262 --> 00:33:38,312
I live in the Bronx and
I don't have any children.

875
00:33:38,391 --> 00:33:40,189
In all honesty,
the clock's ticking,

876
00:33:40,268 --> 00:33:41,520
so if dinner works,

877
00:33:41,603 --> 00:33:43,526
we got to get to work.
I'm kidding you.

878
00:33:43,605 --> 00:33:45,983
I just said that 'cause
I'm very nervous right now

879
00:33:46,066 --> 00:33:47,363
and I just keep
talking so much.

880
00:33:47,442 --> 00:33:49,035
My mouth is moving.

881
00:33:49,110 --> 00:33:50,750
I don't even realize
how much it's moving.

882
00:33:51,279 --> 00:33:54,374
It's... I'm not even feeling it.
It's cottony.

883
00:33:54,449 --> 00:33:56,998
So, is this your first date
on mySoul-Mate.net?

884
00:33:57,077 --> 00:33:58,329
Yes.

885
00:33:59,120 --> 00:34:01,714
Assuming it's really happening

886
00:34:01,790 --> 00:34:03,542
and not some sort of
terrifying nightmare.

887
00:34:03,625 --> 00:34:05,002
I know.

888
00:34:05,085 --> 00:34:06,382
What do you do for a living'?

889
00:34:06,461 --> 00:34:07,508
Don't tell me. I don't want...

890
00:34:07,587 --> 00:34:08,554
<i>I want to play 20 Questions.</i>

891
00:34:08,630 --> 00:34:09,722
Remember that game?

892
00:34:09,798 --> 00:34:11,345
When we were little?
<i>20</i> Questions?

893
00:34:11,424 --> 00:34:13,051
Okay, first question.
Animal, mineral...

894
00:34:13,134 --> 00:34:14,101
I'm going to go
to the bathroom.

895
00:34:14,177 --> 00:34:15,349
<i>Okay...</i>

896
00:34:17,138 --> 00:34:18,139
See you.

897
00:34:23,979 --> 00:34:25,652
Um, should I take away
your salads?

898
00:34:26,481 --> 00:34:30,577
Oh, I think he's just waiting
for his to cool off.

899
00:34:30,652 --> 00:34:33,246
So, we'll just, um...
Just a few more minutes.

900
00:34:33,321 --> 00:34:34,664
Thank you.

901
00:34:38,618 --> 00:34:41,713
Hello? Hello?

902
00:34:43,999 --> 00:34:48,004
Funbucket? Funbucket?

903
00:34:50,839 --> 00:34:52,182
Hello?

904
00:35:01,975 --> 00:35:04,319
He must have gone out
to get some air.

905
00:35:15,739 --> 00:35:16,956
Good job.

906
00:35:18,199 --> 00:35:19,291
You're alive!

907
00:35:19,367 --> 00:35:20,619
How did it go?

908
00:35:20,702 --> 00:35:23,581
Oh, it was... It was fine.

909
00:35:23,663 --> 00:35:25,290
He didn't try anything funny
with you, did he'?

910
00:35:25,373 --> 00:35:26,966
No, no.

911
00:35:27,042 --> 00:35:28,202
Does he want to go out again?

912
00:35:28,209 --> 00:35:29,426
Is he your prince?

913
00:35:29,502 --> 00:35:30,628
Are you his princess?

914
00:35:30,712 --> 00:35:31,804
Did he ask
for your number?

915
00:35:31,880 --> 00:35:33,132
Did he kiss you good night?

916
00:35:33,214 --> 00:35:35,467
Oh, will you
kids stop it already?

917
00:35:35,550 --> 00:35:36,927
It was just a date!

918
00:35:37,010 --> 00:35:40,310
Why do you put so much
pressure on me?

919
00:35:40,388 --> 00:35:43,312
Why are
there so many stairs?

920
00:35:43,391 --> 00:35:46,315
I miss your old chandelier!

921
00:35:46,394 --> 00:35:48,488
No one's ever going to love me!

922
00:35:48,563 --> 00:35:50,156
I'm a loser!

923
00:35:50,398 --> 00:35:53,117
Oh, my God, I'm an idiot.

924
00:35:53,193 --> 00:35:54,319
Why?

925
00:35:54,402 --> 00:35:56,029
Why are you an idiot?

926
00:35:57,405 --> 00:36:01,751
Busted, disgusted,
never to be trusted.

927
00:36:05,914 --> 00:36:07,131
Hi, Jill.

928
00:36:07,374 --> 00:36:09,217
It's okay, it's...

929
00:36:09,876 --> 00:36:11,674
We've all had bad dates.

930
00:36:12,087 --> 00:36:13,179
Whatever.

931
00:36:13,254 --> 00:36:14,506
He was such a...

932
00:36:14,589 --> 00:36:16,887
I thought he was cool
for a second.

933
00:36:17,217 --> 00:36:18,657
Jack feels like
you deserve to go out

934
00:36:18,718 --> 00:36:20,436
with a guy
who treats you right.

935
00:36:20,512 --> 00:36:21,980
So guess who is taking you

936
00:36:22,055 --> 00:36:23,773
to the Lakers game
tomorrow night.

937
00:36:24,474 --> 00:36:26,772
Hairfingers23 from
the computer?

938
00:36:27,435 --> 00:36:29,938
No, actually, I'm your date.

939
00:36:30,438 --> 00:36:33,112
I love that, Pagogo!

940
00:36:33,191 --> 00:36:34,943
Ook maga do do!

941
00:36:35,026 --> 00:36:36,118
That sounds great.

942
00:36:36,194 --> 00:36:38,322
Finally some twin time.

943
00:36:38,405 --> 00:36:41,659
Oh, pali wali, zoom gali gali.

944
00:36:41,741 --> 00:36:44,540
That means, "I want to
choke on my own vomit."

945
00:36:44,619 --> 00:36:45,666
Does it?

946
00:36:45,745 --> 00:36:46,837
I... I'm a little rusty.

947
00:36:46,913 --> 00:36:48,506
I don't remember everything.

948
00:36:58,133 --> 00:36:59,806
Oh, my God, look at these guys.

949
00:36:59,884 --> 00:37:01,227
They're huge.

950
00:37:01,302 --> 00:37:02,474
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- They're too big.

951
00:37:02,554 --> 00:37:03,806
- It's freaky.
- Will you stop'?

952
00:37:03,888 --> 00:37:05,060
- It's weird.
- Stop it.

953
00:37:05,140 --> 00:37:06,580
No, it's...
Where do they buy pants'?

954
00:37:06,641 --> 00:37:07,688
Just please keep walking.

955
00:37:07,767 --> 00:37:09,314
I'm sorry.

956
00:37:09,394 --> 00:37:11,271
It's like
nuclear-power-plant big.

957
00:37:11,354 --> 00:37:12,355
That's... That's big.

958
00:37:13,440 --> 00:37:15,317
John, we're so close here.

959
00:37:15,984 --> 00:37:17,452
- Hey.
- You got us in the game.

960
00:37:17,527 --> 00:37:19,325
What's, uh...

961
00:37:19,404 --> 00:37:20,906
What's going on
with the beard, man'?

962
00:37:21,281 --> 00:37:22,328
I'm doing research.

963
00:37:22,407 --> 00:37:23,579
I don't want to be
recognized, okay'?

964
00:37:40,508 --> 00:37:42,101
- Who is that?
- Hey, Jill, don't go nuts,

965
00:37:42,177 --> 00:37:44,100
but I'm gonna try
and talk to Al Pacino.

966
00:37:44,179 --> 00:37:45,522
It's Pacino!

967
00:37:45,597 --> 00:37:47,065
Al Pacino, the movie actor?

968
00:37:47,140 --> 00:37:48,767
Yes, yes, stay calm.

969
00:37:49,517 --> 00:37:51,110
What do you think
people are thinking here,

970
00:37:51,186 --> 00:37:52,438
that I'm sitting with my rabbi?

971
00:37:52,520 --> 00:37:54,443
Hey, guys, big game tonight.

972
00:37:54,522 --> 00:37:55,865
Yeah. How you doing, Johnny'?

973
00:37:55,940 --> 00:37:56,941
- How are you?
- Huge fan.

974
00:37:57,025 --> 00:37:58,242
Good to see you. Thank you.

975
00:37:58,318 --> 00:37:59,786
And, uh, Mr. Pacino,

976
00:37:59,861 --> 00:38:02,080
I actually met you one
time at a movie premiere.

977
00:38:06,493 --> 00:38:07,790
He's thirsty.

978
00:38:07,869 --> 00:38:09,086
<i>Okay...</i>

979
00:38:09,162 --> 00:38:10,584
<i>It was Cats & Dogs 3,</i>

980
00:38:10,663 --> 00:38:13,086
and we were sitting
in the same row.

981
00:38:13,166 --> 00:38:14,846
One of your kids
knocked over your popcorn,

982
00:38:14,876 --> 00:38:16,423
and I gave you mine.

983
00:38:16,503 --> 00:38:18,756
And you called me "Popcorn"
the rest of the night.

984
00:38:18,838 --> 00:38:20,090
Popcorn.

985
00:38:20,173 --> 00:38:22,050
- Yes.
- Yeah, nice to see you again.

986
00:38:22,258 --> 00:38:23,475
Hey, what's with the beard?

987
00:38:23,551 --> 00:38:25,224
You look a little
like Bin Laden.

988
00:38:25,804 --> 00:38:27,884
- I was kind of thinking Castro, myself.
-  Yeah.

989
00:38:27,889 --> 00:38:29,106
No, no, it's like

990
00:38:29,182 --> 00:38:31,184
the cough drops guy,
the Smith Brothers.

991
00:38:31,684 --> 00:38:33,652
Who is that?
Is that your wife'?

992
00:38:33,728 --> 00:38:35,150
No, no, no, that's
my sister Jill.

993
00:38:35,230 --> 00:38:36,447
She's in from the Bronx.

994
00:38:36,523 --> 00:38:38,116
Hey, Al, do you think
you'd ever...

995
00:38:38,191 --> 00:38:39,191
Dulcinea.

996
00:38:39,234 --> 00:38:40,281
What's that?

997
00:38:40,360 --> 00:38:41,407
You're from the Bronx?

998
00:38:41,486 --> 00:38:42,487
Yeah, born and bred.

999
00:38:42,570 --> 00:38:43,822
Throggs Neck, the nice part.

1000
00:38:43,905 --> 00:38:45,065
Al, I got a question for you,

1001
00:38:45,073 --> 00:38:46,194
and I know it's a long shot.

1002
00:38:46,241 --> 00:38:47,458
Well, I'm from the Bronx.

1003
00:38:47,534 --> 00:38:48,660
- Oh, okay.
- Did you know that?

1004
00:38:48,743 --> 00:38:50,623
Yeah, to be honest, I don't
know much about you.

1005
00:38:50,662 --> 00:38:52,084
I haven't seen
a lot of your movies,

1006
00:38:52,163 --> 00:38:53,631
but I hear you're very serious.

1007
00:38:53,706 --> 00:38:55,504
- Well, you know...
- Okay.

1008
00:38:55,583 --> 00:38:56,800
Hey, is Ryan Seacrest here?

1009
00:38:56,876 --> 00:38:58,237
Have you seen him?
Do you know him?

1010
00:38:58,419 --> 00:38:59,887
I'm sorry, who-crest?

1011
00:39:00,088 --> 00:39:01,568
Al, would you ever
consider doing a...

1012
00:39:01,631 --> 00:39:03,633
Eh, who is your friend?
Was he in Duran Duran?

1013
00:39:03,716 --> 00:39:04,716
Were you in Duran Duran?

1014
00:39:04,759 --> 00:39:06,887
Yes. Yes, I was.

1015
00:39:07,428 --> 00:39:09,556
So, tell me, how long are
you gonna be in L.A.?

1016
00:39:09,764 --> 00:39:11,373
Oh, my God.
Is that John Stamos?

1017
00:39:11,398 --> 00:39:11,836
Who?

1018
00:39:12,100 --> 00:39:14,023
Pagogo, Pagogo, let's
go before he gets away!

1019
00:39:14,102 --> 00:39:15,695
I want to see him
up close! Please!

1020
00:39:15,770 --> 00:39:17,317
Oh, so, Al,
I'm gonna get a hold

1021
00:39:17,397 --> 00:39:18,398
of your agent, if that's cool.

1022
00:39:18,523 --> 00:39:20,901
Time to play ball.

1023
00:39:23,152 --> 00:39:24,495
When's the marching band
come out?

1024
00:39:24,571 --> 00:39:26,118
Uh, that's not going to happen.

1025
00:39:26,197 --> 00:39:27,289
No?

1026
00:39:27,365 --> 00:39:29,083
Here we go. Here we go.

1027
00:39:30,952 --> 00:39:32,545
<i>Kobe Bryant!</i>

1028
00:39:48,803 --> 00:39:50,521
Compliments of Mr. Pacino.

1029
00:39:50,597 --> 00:39:52,144
What's this?

1030
00:39:58,605 --> 00:40:00,528
I can't believe this.

1031
00:40:00,607 --> 00:40:02,109
This is insane, man!

1032
00:40:02,191 --> 00:40:04,239
- You got to call him!
- Oh, cool your buns.

1033
00:40:04,319 --> 00:40:07,163
You know I'm still hurting from
the whole Funbucket fiasco.

1034
00:40:07,238 --> 00:40:08,740
No, but Pacino liked you!

1035
00:40:08,823 --> 00:40:10,746
I swear to God,
he really liked you!

1036
00:40:11,159 --> 00:40:12,456
Oh, will you stop already?

1037
00:40:12,535 --> 00:40:15,254
You know all he wants to do is
play Twister with your sister.

1038
00:40:15,622 --> 00:40:17,716
Jill, will you just
do this for me?

1039
00:40:17,790 --> 00:40:20,919
You know, maybe I'll be ready
to date again in a few weeks.

1040
00:40:21,002 --> 00:40:22,845
We'll sit and talk about
it on New Year's.

1041
00:40:27,967 --> 00:40:29,560
New Year's?

1042
00:40:29,636 --> 00:40:31,434
But you're not gonna
be here on New Year's,

1043
00:40:31,512 --> 00:40:32,792
'cause that's
after our birthday.

1044
00:40:33,014 --> 00:40:34,607
Which is when you're leaving.

1045
00:40:34,682 --> 00:40:36,810
Yeah. Uh, I guess so.

1046
00:40:37,310 --> 00:40:40,063
- So, if New Year's comes up...
- Mmm-hmm.

1047
00:40:40,146 --> 00:40:42,069
Just tell Jill that
one more passenger

1048
00:40:42,148 --> 00:40:43,900
on the cruise ship, it'll sink.

1049
00:40:43,983 --> 00:40:45,109
I'm not telling her that.

1050
00:40:45,193 --> 00:40:47,070
Tell her... You got
to tell her something.

1051
00:40:47,153 --> 00:40:48,279
I'm not having her
come to Europe.

1052
00:40:48,363 --> 00:40:49,403
It's the kids' first trip.

1053
00:40:49,656 --> 00:40:51,124
Hey, how are we doing in here?

1054
00:40:51,199 --> 00:40:52,621
It's 6:32.

1055
00:40:52,700 --> 00:40:56,079
Forty-three years ago at this
very time, you were born.

1056
00:40:56,162 --> 00:40:57,755
Happy birthday, Number One.

1057
00:40:57,830 --> 00:40:59,082
Okay, thank you.

1058
00:40:59,165 --> 00:41:00,917
- Aw, happy birthday, you guys.
- Okay.

1059
00:41:01,000 --> 00:41:02,468
No, no, no, not yet, not yet!

1060
00:41:02,543 --> 00:41:04,261
I wasn't born yet. I'm 6:33.

1061
00:41:04,337 --> 00:41:06,305
- I'm still 42, Erin.
- Oh, God.

1062
00:41:06,381 --> 00:41:07,633
So how does it feel, old man?

1063
00:41:07,715 --> 00:41:09,092
Getting rickety in the bones?

1064
00:41:10,843 --> 00:41:12,436
I'm so bummed that
you're leaving tomorrow.

1065
00:41:12,512 --> 00:41:13,764
I'm going to miss you.

1066
00:41:13,846 --> 00:41:15,439
Oh, yeah. Oh, God.

1067
00:41:15,515 --> 00:41:16,767
I'm going to miss...

1068
00:41:16,849 --> 00:41:18,146
I'm going to miss
you guys, too.

1069
00:41:18,226 --> 00:41:19,398
Especially on New Year's.

1070
00:41:19,727 --> 00:41:21,445
Get the violins going, yeah.

1071
00:41:21,854 --> 00:41:24,824
It's just, every year, I'd
go with Mom to Valentino's.

1072
00:41:24,899 --> 00:41:27,322
It's the restaurant, Erin,
where my mother met my father.

1073
00:41:28,444 --> 00:41:29,844
Oh, I knew that was
going to be big.

1074
00:41:30,571 --> 00:41:31,618
Don't throw it out.

1075
00:41:31,698 --> 00:41:33,416
We can make
a birthday candle with it.

1076
00:41:37,078 --> 00:41:39,001
Hey, we're only
40 minutes late, guys.

1077
00:41:39,080 --> 00:41:40,957
<i>I hope they sing
Happy Birthday to us.</i>

1078
00:41:41,040 --> 00:41:43,000
Yeah, I hope we still have
our table there, Slick.

1079
00:41:43,042 --> 00:41:44,339
Why is it so dark in here?

1080
00:41:44,419 --> 00:41:45,796
Are we going to get
killed or something'?

1081
00:41:45,878 --> 00:41:47,471
Surprise!

1082
00:41:47,547 --> 00:41:48,969
Oh, my God.

1083
00:41:49,048 --> 00:41:50,516
Jack, we got you.

1084
00:41:50,591 --> 00:41:52,309
You are having a party for us?

1085
00:41:52,385 --> 00:41:54,183
Oh, coolness!

1086
00:41:54,262 --> 00:41:55,730
Every body's here.

1087
00:41:55,805 --> 00:41:58,604
And I just had to meet
your twin sister.

1088
00:41:58,933 --> 00:42:00,651
Very nice to see you.

1089
00:42:00,727 --> 00:42:03,321
I mean, you guys
really do look alike.

1090
00:42:03,396 --> 00:42:04,818
I say that all the time.

1091
00:42:04,897 --> 00:42:06,149
<i>He says no.</i>

1092
00:42:06,232 --> 00:42:07,859
Jill, I want
to introduce you around.

1093
00:42:07,942 --> 00:42:10,320
This is going to be a bad night.

1094
00:42:10,403 --> 00:42:12,201
This is going to be
an awful, awful night.

1095
00:42:13,573 --> 00:42:14,870
Really, it's fascinating.

1096
00:42:14,949 --> 00:42:16,589
So, how does it work,
Mr. Subway Sandwich?

1097
00:42:16,617 --> 00:42:17,834
Just, well, just tell me more.

1098
00:42:17,910 --> 00:42:18,957
Just Jared's fine.

1099
00:42:19,037 --> 00:42:20,459
Call you Jared? Okay, sure.

1100
00:42:20,747 --> 00:42:22,499
It's just,
10 sandwiches a day...

1101
00:42:22,582 --> 00:42:24,550
To me, that seems too much,
almost like a job.

1102
00:42:24,625 --> 00:42:25,717
I couldn't do that.

1103
00:42:25,793 --> 00:42:27,045
- I don't eat that many.
- No?

1104
00:42:27,128 --> 00:42:28,801
Okay, okay,
here's the situation.

1105
00:42:28,963 --> 00:42:31,011
You're here, there's
not a Subway in sight.

1106
00:42:31,090 --> 00:42:32,387
You're at a steakhouse
like this.

1107
00:42:32,467 --> 00:42:33,844
What do you eat?
What do you eat'?

1108
00:42:33,926 --> 00:42:35,553
- I eat other things.
- Oh, you do'?

1109
00:42:35,636 --> 00:42:36,728
You do'? I knew
you were cheating.

1110
00:42:36,804 --> 00:42:38,602
That's why there's so
much goo left on you.

1111
00:42:38,931 --> 00:42:40,023
What?

1112
00:42:40,099 --> 00:42:41,351
I miss the old Jared,

1113
00:42:41,434 --> 00:42:43,402
the 400-pound Jared
that scared us.

1114
00:42:43,478 --> 00:42:44,650
I don't miss that one at all.

1115
00:42:45,146 --> 00:42:47,399
Well, I'm sure you don't.
But if he was around, he'd be with me

1116
00:42:47,482 --> 00:42:48,779
and not with the two hookers.

1117
00:42:52,403 --> 00:42:53,764
Well, yeah,
we love musicals.

1118
00:42:53,821 --> 00:42:55,038
You know what?

1119
00:42:55,114 --> 00:42:56,411
You're the Sham-Wow man, right?

1120
00:42:56,491 --> 00:42:57,993
- Yeah.
- Funny story.

1121
00:42:58,159 --> 00:43:00,787
- Uh, Jack used to be a bed-wetter.
- No!

1122
00:43:00,870 --> 00:43:02,918
He could have used one
of these Sham-Wow things

1123
00:43:02,997 --> 00:43:04,715
20 years ago for
his pee puddles.

1124
00:43:06,459 --> 00:43:07,711
Oh, there's Mr. Yellow Sheets!

1125
00:43:10,129 --> 00:43:11,676
Where you
going, Puddles?

1126
00:43:12,632 --> 00:43:15,101
All right,
nice to meet you all.

1127
00:43:15,176 --> 00:43:17,474
Am I crazy or is she hot?

1128
00:43:18,012 --> 00:43:19,104
You're crazy.

1129
00:43:19,347 --> 00:43:21,224
It's Jack with boobs.

1130
00:43:21,307 --> 00:43:23,105
Jack with boobs. That's right.

1131
00:43:23,184 --> 00:43:24,481
There he is!

1132
00:43:25,186 --> 00:43:27,109
Dude, did you set
this whole thing up'?

1133
00:43:27,188 --> 00:43:28,348
Yeah, we got through it, man.

1134
00:43:28,356 --> 00:43:29,636
It came out pretty dope,
I think.

1135
00:43:29,649 --> 00:43:31,196
It's amazing. Hey, Jill.

1136
00:43:32,193 --> 00:43:33,786
I'm sorry to interrupt.
Come here for a sec.

1137
00:43:33,861 --> 00:43:35,113
Okay, nice to see you.

1138
00:43:35,196 --> 00:43:36,573
What's going on?

1139
00:43:36,656 --> 00:43:38,579
Did I ever tell you
Todd is an atheist?

1140
00:43:38,866 --> 00:43:39,867
A what?

1141
00:43:40,159 --> 00:43:41,411
Oh, God.

1142
00:43:41,494 --> 00:43:42,746
Have a great time, guys.

1143
00:43:42,829 --> 00:43:44,957
No. How could
there be a Grand Canyon

1144
00:43:45,039 --> 00:43:46,461
if God didn't exist?

1145
00:43:46,541 --> 00:43:48,088
Right.
That's a very good point.

1146
00:43:48,167 --> 00:43:49,635
I'm just saying,
you know, maybe...

1147
00:43:49,710 --> 00:43:53,135
Maybe God wouldn't have given you a
rat face if you believed in him.

1148
00:43:53,214 --> 00:43:54,306
I don't have a rat face.

1149
00:43:54,382 --> 00:43:56,009
Yes, you do have a rat face!
It's scary.

1150
00:43:56,092 --> 00:43:57,469
McENROE: Whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, wait a minute.

1151
00:43:57,552 --> 00:43:58,519
This guy doesn't
believe in God?

1152
00:43:58,594 --> 00:43:59,641
No!

1153
00:43:59,720 --> 00:44:00,972
No, no, I'm just saying

1154
00:44:01,055 --> 00:44:02,602
that there's not real proof.

1155
00:44:02,682 --> 00:44:05,982
Idiots like you
really make me mad!

1156
00:44:06,060 --> 00:44:07,482
Fight! Fight! Fight him!

1157
00:44:07,562 --> 00:44:08,984
Fight! Fight! Fight!

1158
00:44:09,063 --> 00:44:10,815
Because I'm about
to US Open your skull!

1159
00:44:10,898 --> 00:44:13,321
Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!

1160
00:44:13,401 --> 00:44:16,996
<i>♪ Happy birthday to you ♪</i>

1161
00:44:17,071 --> 00:44:21,292
<i>♪ Happy birth... ♪</i>

1162
00:44:21,367 --> 00:44:26,168
<i>♪ Happy birthday, dear Jack... ♪</i>

1163
00:44:26,247 --> 00:44:28,341
<i>♪ And Jill ♪</i>

1164
00:44:28,416 --> 00:44:33,388
<i>♪ Happy birthday to you ♪</i>

1165
00:44:33,588 --> 00:44:35,135
Come on, make a wish,
you twins.

1166
00:44:35,214 --> 00:44:36,966
- Okay, let's do it.
- Where's the other cake?

1167
00:44:37,091 --> 00:44:38,718
- There's not enough candles for both of us.
- All right, Jill.

1168
00:44:39,051 --> 00:44:40,849
One cake's enough.
Make the wish.

1169
00:44:41,888 --> 00:44:43,640
Mom and Dad always
got us two cakes.

1170
00:44:44,557 --> 00:44:46,480
Made us both feel special.

1171
00:44:46,559 --> 00:44:48,311
I don't think Mom and Dad
would like this.

1172
00:44:48,394 --> 00:44:50,362
Make the wish already!
I'm hungry!

1173
00:44:50,605 --> 00:44:51,697
Will you stop already?

1174
00:44:51,772 --> 00:44:52,864
Blow out the candles.

1175
00:45:06,621 --> 00:45:07,873
Whoa!

1176
00:45:08,331 --> 00:45:09,924
Funny meeting you here.

1177
00:45:11,626 --> 00:45:13,674
Don't be startled.
It's only me.

1178
00:45:16,881 --> 00:45:18,178
It's always the same thing.

1179
00:45:18,257 --> 00:45:19,257
It's L.A.

1180
00:45:19,300 --> 00:45:20,517
I never know where I am.

1181
00:45:20,593 --> 00:45:21,719
It's a wilderness here.

1182
00:45:21,802 --> 00:45:23,850
I mean, in the Bronx,

1183
00:45:23,930 --> 00:45:25,853
you got the streets,
you got the numbers.

1184
00:45:25,932 --> 00:45:28,230
You got 187th, 188th.

1185
00:45:28,309 --> 00:45:29,856
Yeah, right, in order.
It follows in sequence.

1186
00:45:29,936 --> 00:45:32,280
Here, you got the palm trees,
and they all look alike.

1187
00:45:34,523 --> 00:45:36,491
I have no idea where we are.

1188
00:45:37,151 --> 00:45:38,869
- You really don't?
- I don't.

1189
00:45:38,945 --> 00:45:41,368
Lucky... Lucky for us,
I got the panic button.

1190
00:45:41,656 --> 00:45:43,033
You have a panic button?

1191
00:45:43,115 --> 00:45:45,493
Yeah, and we'll soon find
out where we are, huh?

1192
00:45:49,163 --> 00:45:50,881
There we go. That's a house.

1193
00:45:50,957 --> 00:45:52,083
That's not a bakery.

1194
00:45:52,166 --> 00:45:53,338
Whether we go
in a bakery, a house,

1195
00:45:53,417 --> 00:45:54,418
what difference does it make?

1196
00:45:54,502 --> 00:45:55,674
It makes a difference!

1197
00:45:55,962 --> 00:45:57,885
- What do you mean?
- There's a bakery in the house.

1198
00:45:57,964 --> 00:45:59,432
Get out of town! Come on.

1199
00:45:59,507 --> 00:46:01,009
I'm not going to your house.

1200
00:46:01,175 --> 00:46:02,768
I want to see
a birthday cake soon

1201
00:46:02,843 --> 00:46:04,766
or I'm taking pepper spray out.
I'm not kidding.

1202
00:46:04,845 --> 00:46:07,689
O ye of little faith.

1203
00:46:07,765 --> 00:46:09,392
What is that, a Shakespeare'?

1204
00:46:09,558 --> 00:46:11,105
No, that was Jesus.

1205
00:46:11,185 --> 00:46:12,983
Okay, birthday girl.

1206
00:46:13,104 --> 00:46:14,651
Oh, my God. Here it is.

1207
00:46:14,981 --> 00:46:16,107
You name it,

1208
00:46:16,190 --> 00:46:18,909
Xavier, my guy, will bake it.

1209
00:46:20,361 --> 00:46:21,613
Oh, my God!

1210
00:46:21,696 --> 00:46:23,744
- Look, I made her happy.
- I love this!

1211
00:46:23,823 --> 00:46:24,915
<i>Made you happy...</i>

1212
00:46:26,033 --> 00:46:30,004
<i>♪ To dream ♪
♪ the impossible dream ♪</i>

1213
00:46:30,079 --> 00:46:31,296
<i>Nutcracker.</i>

1214
00:46:31,372 --> 00:46:34,296
<i>No. That? That's, uh,
Man of La Mancha.</i>

1215
00:46:34,375 --> 00:46:36,969
They offered me the part of
Don Quixote on Broadway.

1216
00:46:37,044 --> 00:46:38,591
- Ooh. Whoa, whoa, whoa.
- Yeah.

1217
00:46:38,671 --> 00:46:40,298
But, you know, I'm just,
uh, I'm not there yet,

1218
00:46:40,381 --> 00:46:42,258
so I'm mulling it over,
you know?

1219
00:46:42,341 --> 00:46:45,181
I love that. That's where the, uh,
man's in the tower ringing the bell'?

1220
00:46:45,386 --> 00:46:46,763
That's Quasimodo.

1221
00:46:46,846 --> 00:46:48,644
<i>That's Hunchback of Notre-Dame.</i>

1222
00:46:48,723 --> 00:46:50,942
See, this is Don Quixote.

1223
00:46:51,017 --> 00:46:54,317
Don Quixote meets
this, uh, fallen woman

1224
00:46:54,395 --> 00:46:56,773
who he thinks is his
lost love Dulcinea.

1225
00:46:56,856 --> 00:46:58,108
Right.

1226
00:46:58,190 --> 00:46:59,783
And he can't
straighten his back,

1227
00:46:59,859 --> 00:47:01,281
so he keeps ringing the bell.

1228
00:47:01,360 --> 00:47:02,452
And he has a sidekick.

1229
00:47:02,528 --> 00:47:03,996
It was a mouse.

1230
00:47:04,071 --> 00:47:05,698
Okay, moving on.

1231
00:47:05,781 --> 00:47:09,081
Listen, Bronx, I got a
birthday surprise for you.

1232
00:47:09,368 --> 00:47:11,291
- Another one?
- Yeah.

1233
00:47:11,370 --> 00:47:13,247
It's my

1234
00:47:14,373 --> 00:47:17,047
original stickball stick.

1235
00:47:17,251 --> 00:47:19,299
- Oh.
- Come with me a second.

1236
00:47:19,378 --> 00:47:20,846
Let me just eat some cake.
This is so good.

1237
00:47:20,921 --> 00:47:22,343
Leave it.
You've been eating enough.

1238
00:47:22,423 --> 00:47:23,504
We really have to stop now?

1239
00:47:23,549 --> 00:47:24,641
Xavier!

1240
00:47:24,717 --> 00:47:26,139
<i>Oui, monsieur?</i>

1241
00:47:26,218 --> 00:47:27,219
Ha!

1242
00:47:27,678 --> 00:47:29,305
He's going to throw the ball,

1243
00:47:29,388 --> 00:47:32,016
and you are going to take this
stick with two hands, right?

1244
00:47:32,099 --> 00:47:33,191
And you're going to hit it.

1245
00:47:33,267 --> 00:47:35,315
Do I have to play
this weird game?

1246
00:47:35,394 --> 00:47:37,567
It's not weird.
Jill, it's in you.

1247
00:47:37,646 --> 00:47:40,365
It's in your DNA.
Just think Bronx.

1248
00:47:40,441 --> 00:47:41,863
Let it just float.

1249
00:47:41,942 --> 00:47:43,319
Okay, okay, okay...

1250
00:47:43,402 --> 00:47:45,200
Can you do me a favor
and not hold me like this?

1251
00:47:45,279 --> 00:47:46,906
All right. I'm just
trying to show you.

1252
00:47:46,989 --> 00:47:49,868
Okay, all you got to do is
make contact, that's all.

1253
00:47:49,950 --> 00:47:52,624
I feel like this is your game
and it's not my game.

1254
00:47:52,912 --> 00:47:55,232
If you want to play my game,
Hungry Hungry Hippos, Sabaday.

1255
00:47:55,289 --> 00:47:56,381
Do you have that here?

1256
00:47:56,457 --> 00:47:57,629
That's coming.

1257
00:47:57,750 --> 00:47:58,967
Goobledy gibble globbity!

1258
00:48:00,127 --> 00:48:01,970
What language are you speaking?

1259
00:48:02,254 --> 00:48:03,346
Just throw it.

1260
00:48:03,422 --> 00:48:05,220
<i>Oui, oui.</i> Okay.

1261
00:48:05,299 --> 00:48:06,642
Come on, no batter here, pitcher!
No batter!

1262
00:48:06,717 --> 00:48:08,014
I just don't know
why we're doing this.

1263
00:48:08,094 --> 00:48:09,311
Oh! Whoa!

1264
00:48:10,971 --> 00:48:13,599
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

1265
00:48:13,682 --> 00:48:15,309
I am so sorry!

1266
00:48:15,976 --> 00:48:18,195
I'm sure you have
others, though.

1267
00:48:18,354 --> 00:48:22,029
Uh, you'd think it, but,
uh, oddly enough, I don't.

1268
00:48:22,108 --> 00:48:23,234
But I have you.

1269
00:48:23,317 --> 00:48:24,569
You don't have me. I...

1270
00:48:24,652 --> 00:48:25,699
I'd rather have you.

1271
00:48:25,778 --> 00:48:27,246
I'm sorry. I'm going to go.

1272
00:48:27,321 --> 00:48:29,744
I just... I had fun,
but I'm so tired.

1273
00:48:29,824 --> 00:48:31,326
It's 8:30 in the morning,
my time.

1274
00:48:31,659 --> 00:48:33,536
Do you know what time
it is for me?

1275
00:48:33,911 --> 00:48:36,209
It is time for my salvation.

1276
00:48:36,372 --> 00:48:40,343
Because finally,
I found the one woman,

1277
00:48:40,584 --> 00:48:43,133
with all her rough-hewn charm,

1278
00:48:43,546 --> 00:48:45,514
who will lead me back...

1279
00:48:47,133 --> 00:48:49,010
to sanity.

1280
00:48:51,470 --> 00:48:52,642
You're sick.

1281
00:48:52,721 --> 00:48:53,813
You're a sweetie.

1282
00:48:54,098 --> 00:48:55,099
I saw what you were doing

1283
00:48:55,182 --> 00:48:56,809
with the stick
and it was gross.

1284
00:48:57,143 --> 00:48:58,440
Thank you, Sabaday.

1285
00:48:58,519 --> 00:48:59,941
Wait a minute, where do
you think you're going?

1286
00:49:00,020 --> 00:49:02,398
I'm not your wham-bam-eggs-
and-ham type.

1287
00:49:02,481 --> 00:49:03,607
But you don't have a car.

1288
00:49:08,779 --> 00:49:11,783
Why are you ignoring me?

1289
00:49:14,994 --> 00:49:17,292
What happened to me?

1290
00:49:17,455 --> 00:49:18,502
What's this?

1291
00:49:18,831 --> 00:49:20,458
Help me!

1292
00:49:21,542 --> 00:49:22,794
Where were you?

1293
00:49:23,419 --> 00:49:24,545
What do you mean?

1294
00:49:25,004 --> 00:49:27,302
I was here, bird.

1295
00:49:28,883 --> 00:49:30,430
Felipe.

1296
00:49:30,509 --> 00:49:32,728
Miss Jill?
What you doing out here'?

1297
00:49:33,095 --> 00:49:35,644
I stayed out here because I
didn't want to go in the house.

1298
00:49:35,723 --> 00:49:37,843
And Erin tried to make me
come back in and I wouldn't.

1299
00:49:38,017 --> 00:49:40,736
He yelled at me
'cause I rejected Al Pacino.

1300
00:49:41,020 --> 00:49:44,320
Well, if you need something to
do, I'm just fixing the timer

1301
00:49:44,398 --> 00:49:46,571
and heading off to
a big family picnic.

1302
00:49:46,817 --> 00:49:48,990
We play soccer, eat,

1303
00:49:49,069 --> 00:49:50,912
steal white people's wallets...

1304
00:49:51,363 --> 00:49:52,455
What did you say?

1305
00:49:52,698 --> 00:49:54,450
I'm kidding! I'm kidding!

1306
00:49:54,533 --> 00:49:56,001
We don't eat.

1307
00:49:56,076 --> 00:49:57,828
Oh, stop it.

1308
00:49:57,912 --> 00:49:59,459
Why won't you help me?

1309
00:49:59,538 --> 00:50:01,415
What are you doing?
Put Poopsie down!

1310
00:50:02,416 --> 00:50:03,884
It flew in my bread.

1311
00:50:11,258 --> 00:50:12,259
Hey, Rosa!

1312
00:50:13,427 --> 00:50:14,679
This is my friend, Jill.

1313
00:50:14,762 --> 00:50:16,309
Hi. That's my father,

1314
00:50:16,388 --> 00:50:19,688
my mama, my brother Juan,
my other brother Juan,

1315
00:50:19,767 --> 00:50:21,144
Juan Jr.,

1316
00:50:21,227 --> 00:50:24,527
my sister Juanita,
my grandma Juangelina,

1317
00:50:24,939 --> 00:50:26,361
and that... I'm kidding!

1318
00:50:27,566 --> 00:50:28,863
I was going to say,

1319
00:50:28,943 --> 00:50:30,195
that's a lot of Juans!

1320
00:50:30,402 --> 00:50:31,779
We're not
all named Juan.

1321
00:50:31,946 --> 00:50:33,823
Hey, <i>niños!</i>
Look, these are my kids.

1322
00:50:33,906 --> 00:50:36,830
José, José Jr. Y Josefina.

1323
00:50:36,909 --> 00:50:38,502
They are beautiful.

1324
00:50:38,577 --> 00:50:39,920
Hi. Hi.

1325
00:50:39,995 --> 00:50:41,622
They all look like
my wife, thank God.

1326
00:50:41,789 --> 00:50:43,382
Your wife'? I need to meet her.

1327
00:50:43,457 --> 00:50:44,629
Where is she?

1328
00:50:44,917 --> 00:50:47,170
Well, she passed away
four years ago.

1329
00:50:47,461 --> 00:50:48,713
I'm so sorry.

1330
00:50:48,796 --> 00:50:50,013
I lost my mother recently.

1331
00:50:50,089 --> 00:50:51,181
No, that's all right.

1332
00:50:51,257 --> 00:50:53,601
I love talking about my wife.

1333
00:50:53,801 --> 00:50:56,395
And I know she's up there

1334
00:50:56,470 --> 00:50:58,313
sneaking into Heaven right now.

1335
00:51:00,266 --> 00:51:02,018
It's a joke! It's a joke!

1336
00:51:02,434 --> 00:51:03,811
Your father's bad.

1337
00:51:03,894 --> 00:51:06,317
He's bad! He's very bad!

1338
00:51:06,480 --> 00:51:08,528
Ready for the best
Mexican food you ever had'?

1339
00:51:08,607 --> 00:51:10,359
I never had Mexican food.

1340
00:51:10,442 --> 00:51:11,568
What?

1341
00:51:11,652 --> 00:51:13,245
I'm sorry. It's not my fault.

1342
00:51:13,320 --> 00:51:15,243
Uh, they don't
serve it at my deli.

1343
00:51:15,322 --> 00:51:16,574
Well, today is your lucky day.

1344
00:51:16,657 --> 00:51:17,658
<i>Okay...</i>

1345
00:51:17,908 --> 00:51:19,034
Taste. Cool.

1346
00:51:20,160 --> 00:51:21,207
WOW!

1347
00:51:21,287 --> 00:51:22,539
<i>That's chile relleno.</i>

1348
00:51:22,621 --> 00:51:23,621
It looks like a knish.

1349
00:51:25,791 --> 00:51:28,089
Never had Mexican food.

1350
00:51:28,335 --> 00:51:30,337
It's very, very good.

1351
00:51:34,133 --> 00:51:35,806
I'm kidding. Are you okay'?

1352
00:51:36,093 --> 00:51:37,265
Yeah, I'm fine.

1353
00:51:37,344 --> 00:51:38,391
Heads up.

1354
00:51:38,470 --> 00:51:39,642
What is this thing?

1355
00:51:39,722 --> 00:51:41,190
No, no, no, no, no, no!

1356
00:51:41,473 --> 00:51:42,941
It's too hot.

1357
00:51:43,017 --> 00:51:44,064
Just like you.

1358
00:51:44,143 --> 00:51:46,237
Oh, Felipe, easy.

1359
00:51:49,523 --> 00:51:50,740
Come on, Jill!

1360
00:51:50,899 --> 00:51:52,071
<i>Come on!</i>

1361
00:52:04,496 --> 00:52:06,043
Get Jill out there!

1362
00:52:38,364 --> 00:52:39,490
Come on, Jill, run!

1363
00:52:39,865 --> 00:52:40,866
Run!

1364
00:52:46,080 --> 00:52:48,082
Jalapeños. Jalapeños.

1365
00:52:48,248 --> 00:52:50,592
Okay, this is yours.

1366
00:52:57,383 --> 00:52:58,509
What happened?

1367
00:52:58,592 --> 00:53:00,469
Jalapeños! Jalapeños!
Jalapeños?

1368
00:53:00,552 --> 00:53:02,099
Did I get it?

1369
00:53:03,472 --> 00:53:04,815
Jalapeños.

1370
00:53:05,224 --> 00:53:06,726
Go! Run!

1371
00:53:14,400 --> 00:53:15,822
Shoot that! Shoot that!

1372
00:53:20,823 --> 00:53:21,949
Goal!

1373
00:53:22,866 --> 00:53:24,368
Whoa!

1374
00:53:29,790 --> 00:53:32,088
It's not a guy.

1375
00:53:32,584 --> 00:53:34,427
Felipe, I love it!

1376
00:53:37,256 --> 00:53:38,553
Hey, hey, hey.

1377
00:53:38,632 --> 00:53:40,134
<i>Hey, Mr. Popcorn.</i>

1378
00:53:40,592 --> 00:53:42,014
Is that Al Pacino?

1379
00:53:42,094 --> 00:53:43,767
Are you kidding me?
How you doing?

1380
00:53:43,846 --> 00:53:45,564
Listen, I got a little
something here

1381
00:53:45,639 --> 00:53:47,687
for Ms. Sadelstein.

1382
00:53:48,100 --> 00:53:49,693
My God, she's not
here right now.

1383
00:53:49,768 --> 00:53:51,486
<i>Oh, that's our loss, isn't it?</i>

1384
00:53:51,812 --> 00:53:55,066
Have you any idea when she
might be coming home'?

1385
00:53:55,149 --> 00:53:56,526
Hopefully soon.

1386
00:53:56,608 --> 00:53:58,568
<i>You know what, I hope so.
I'm waiting on her, too.</i>

1387
00:53:58,819 --> 00:54:00,241
And I wanted to tell you, Al,

1388
00:54:00,320 --> 00:54:01,960
if she wasn't receptive
the other night...

1389
00:54:03,949 --> 00:54:05,371
- Oh, my God!
- I know she's in here, Popcorn.

1390
00:54:05,492 --> 00:54:07,745
How'd you get over the fence?
Jill, come on!

1391
00:54:07,828 --> 00:54:09,751
You want me to get you
something to eat or...

1392
00:54:09,830 --> 00:54:12,424
All I want to do
is make you happy!

1393
00:54:12,499 --> 00:54:13,716
- Uh-huh.
- I want to see you.

1394
00:54:13,792 --> 00:54:15,920
I want to know that you exist.

1395
00:54:16,003 --> 00:54:18,131
That I'm not just
imagining you!

1396
00:54:18,297 --> 00:54:19,674
Al, she really isn't here.

1397
00:54:19,757 --> 00:54:20,758
Uh, for real.

1398
00:54:21,091 --> 00:54:22,684
This it? Yeah.

1399
00:54:23,135 --> 00:54:24,261
She sleeps here?

1400
00:54:24,344 --> 00:54:25,516
She does. She sleeps there.

1401
00:54:27,514 --> 00:54:29,983
Ooh, God, sorry you
have to see that.

1402
00:54:30,517 --> 00:54:31,643
She sleeps with someone?

1403
00:54:31,769 --> 00:54:33,362
No, no, no, no, that's a bird.

1404
00:54:33,520 --> 00:54:35,067
That's not a human.
No problems.

1405
00:54:35,314 --> 00:54:36,941
Look at this.

1406
00:54:37,024 --> 00:54:38,901
- Isn't that something?
- Yeah.

1407
00:54:38,984 --> 00:54:40,361
How does this happen?

1408
00:54:40,694 --> 00:54:42,241
Al, I wouldn't lay there.

1409
00:54:42,321 --> 00:54:43,948
That's not, uh...

1410
00:54:48,160 --> 00:54:50,037
She leaves an after-scent.

1411
00:54:50,370 --> 00:54:52,293
Hey, Popcorn, you know,

1412
00:54:52,372 --> 00:54:54,795
you're not really giving me
any confidence here.

1413
00:54:55,000 --> 00:54:56,126
- About what?
- Where is she?

1414
00:54:56,210 --> 00:54:57,553
Al, I don't know where...

1415
00:54:57,628 --> 00:54:58,629
Where you hiding her?

1416
00:54:58,712 --> 00:54:59,759
She's coming back,
she just is not

1417
00:54:59,838 --> 00:55:01,385
- here right...
- Hey, Jill!

1418
00:55:01,465 --> 00:55:03,308
Lot of places to hide.
Hey, Jill!

1419
00:55:03,675 --> 00:55:05,894
Al, she's coming back,
I swear to you.

1420
00:55:05,969 --> 00:55:08,222
She got an 8:00 flight
tonight, so I promise.

1421
00:55:08,555 --> 00:55:09,681
What? She's leaving'?

1422
00:55:10,390 --> 00:55:11,391
Uh...

1423
00:55:12,309 --> 00:55:13,686
Come here.

1424
00:55:13,894 --> 00:55:14,941
Come to you?

1425
00:55:15,020 --> 00:55:16,897
Yeah, come, come.
We gotta talk.

1426
00:55:17,564 --> 00:55:18,861
Yeah.

1427
00:55:20,692 --> 00:55:21,909
You want to turn my name into

1428
00:55:21,985 --> 00:55:24,488
some coffee-drink
chocolate-doughnut thing'?

1429
00:55:24,571 --> 00:55:25,663
Well, yeah.

1430
00:55:25,739 --> 00:55:27,116
Tastefully, though. I think...

1431
00:55:27,199 --> 00:55:28,621
Then you get me the girl.

1432
00:55:28,909 --> 00:55:29,956
Get you the girl?

1433
00:55:30,911 --> 00:55:32,208
Get me the girl.

1434
00:55:32,830 --> 00:55:35,003
"Get" is a strong word.

1435
00:55:35,082 --> 00:55:36,842
'Cause this is my sister
we're talking about.

1436
00:55:36,917 --> 00:55:38,134
You don't understand!

1437
00:55:38,210 --> 00:55:39,291
Well, I want to understand.

1438
00:55:39,336 --> 00:55:40,428
You don't understand!

1439
00:55:40,504 --> 00:55:42,848
Go ahead, go ahead.
Tell me what I need to know.

1440
00:55:42,923 --> 00:55:44,721
- Your sister and I...
- Yeah?

1441
00:55:44,800 --> 00:55:46,928
We grew up on the same streets.

1442
00:55:47,219 --> 00:55:48,687
We breathed the same Bronx air.

1443
00:55:48,762 --> 00:55:49,809
Yes, yes, yes.

1444
00:55:49,888 --> 00:55:53,108
When I look at her, I see me.

1445
00:55:53,809 --> 00:55:55,732
When I look at her,
I see me, too. Just...

1446
00:55:55,811 --> 00:55:57,028
I know what you mean.

1447
00:55:57,271 --> 00:55:59,273
I see what I was.

1448
00:56:02,401 --> 00:56:04,745
I'm lost, Popcorn.

1449
00:56:05,654 --> 00:56:06,780
I am.

1450
00:56:06,947 --> 00:56:09,120
I go visit my kids,

1451
00:56:09,741 --> 00:56:11,414
I can't find them.

1452
00:56:11,952 --> 00:56:13,875
Lend up talking to lemon trees.

1453
00:56:14,830 --> 00:56:16,082
You know what? I'm lost now.

1454
00:56:16,164 --> 00:56:17,165
What does...

1455
00:56:17,249 --> 00:56:18,249
- Jill...
- Yes?

1456
00:56:18,292 --> 00:56:19,509
Is going to get me there.

1457
00:56:19,585 --> 00:56:21,212
Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

1458
00:56:21,295 --> 00:56:22,797
I just want a shot.

1459
00:56:22,880 --> 00:56:24,473
- You understand?
- Let's get you a shot.

1460
00:56:24,798 --> 00:56:26,391
- Right.
- Only way to get you a shot

1461
00:56:26,466 --> 00:56:30,346
is to have my sister stay
even longer out here,

1462
00:56:30,429 --> 00:56:32,648
which is amazing news for me.

1463
00:56:33,932 --> 00:56:36,526
It's so warm to
be the holiday season.

1464
00:56:36,602 --> 00:56:40,232
But thank you.
I really had an amazing time.

1465
00:56:40,480 --> 00:56:42,107
Too bad you're
taking off tonight.

1466
00:56:42,357 --> 00:56:44,405
I... Well, I have to.
He's abusive to me.

1467
00:56:44,484 --> 00:56:47,033
Not physically, 'cause I would
hurt him, but mentally.

1468
00:56:47,112 --> 00:56:49,410
- And, it's time to go.
- I know.

1469
00:56:49,781 --> 00:56:52,079
Maybe next time you're...

1470
00:56:54,244 --> 00:56:56,588
Maybe next time you're
here, if you ever...

1471
00:56:58,123 --> 00:57:00,342
Yes? That's... What?
If I ever what?

1472
00:57:00,626 --> 00:57:03,095
Well, maybe next time
you're here, if...

1473
00:57:04,671 --> 00:57:07,550
Your engine...
Your engine seems to be...

1474
00:57:07,633 --> 00:57:09,273
It's a diesel truck,
I'm guessing, right'?

1475
00:57:09,343 --> 00:57:10,435
No. Uh...

1476
00:57:10,677 --> 00:57:11,929
If you ever want to see
a movie or something...

1477
00:57:12,012 --> 00:57:13,434
Oh, my God.

1478
00:57:13,513 --> 00:57:16,062
Okay. Yeah, yeah,
yeah, just hold the thought.

1479
00:57:16,141 --> 00:57:17,814
I have... I have to go!

1480
00:57:17,893 --> 00:57:19,440
- I have to really go!
- What did I say'?

1481
00:57:19,519 --> 00:57:22,363
Oh, no, it's not you,
it's the chimichangas!

1482
00:57:23,106 --> 00:57:25,200
They're making a run
for the border!

1483
00:57:25,525 --> 00:57:28,779
Oh, you're throwing
chimichanga bombs?

1484
00:57:29,196 --> 00:57:30,869
Oh! Oh, God!

1485
00:57:31,365 --> 00:57:33,242
Jill, where were you?

1486
00:57:34,952 --> 00:57:36,704
Aw, she's not talking
to us still, I guess.

1487
00:57:36,870 --> 00:57:39,919
I am not talking to you!
I am talking to Erin!

1488
00:57:39,998 --> 00:57:42,922
Erin, I got to go make
some chocolate squirties!

1489
00:57:43,001 --> 00:57:44,218
Oh, God!

1490
00:57:44,294 --> 00:57:46,262
Oh! Hold it! Hold it! Hold it!

1491
00:57:46,338 --> 00:57:47,885
Oh, please get there. Yes.

1492
00:57:49,424 --> 00:57:51,472
Hey, Jill, can I talk
to you for a second?

1493
00:57:51,551 --> 00:57:55,146
No! My bags are packed
and there's nothing left to...

1494
00:57:55,222 --> 00:57:57,270
...say.

1495
00:57:58,684 --> 00:58:00,311
I spent the day
at Felipe's picnic,

1496
00:58:00,394 --> 00:58:01,941
where I finally felt welcome.

1497
00:58:03,146 --> 00:58:04,238
By everybody.

1498
00:58:04,856 --> 00:58:08,110
I tried this new food
for the very first time.

1499
00:58:12,072 --> 00:58:13,619
I'm guessing Mexican?

1500
00:58:14,241 --> 00:58:17,541
Yes, Mexican,
Mr. Food Detective!

1501
00:58:17,744 --> 00:58:19,496
And Felipe treated me like a...

1502
00:58:21,748 --> 00:58:23,671
What, is Evel Knievel
doing wheelies in there?

1503
00:58:27,838 --> 00:58:29,681
Hey, so I just wanted to
talk to you about last night

1504
00:58:29,756 --> 00:58:31,599
and everything, and...

1505
00:58:31,675 --> 00:58:32,722
Oh, my God.

1506
00:58:33,552 --> 00:58:35,429
Wow, I, uh...

1507
00:58:40,183 --> 00:58:41,901
I was thinking about last night

1508
00:58:41,977 --> 00:58:43,900
and all that stuff
you were saying, and...

1509
00:58:45,188 --> 00:58:46,235
Are you hot or something?

1510
00:58:46,398 --> 00:58:48,241
I just have to, uh...

1511
00:58:48,608 --> 00:58:50,360
God Almighty!

1512
00:58:50,902 --> 00:58:53,621
I would love for you to
stay a few extra days.

1513
00:58:53,697 --> 00:58:54,823
No, I'm going home.

1514
00:58:54,906 --> 00:58:57,034
I already told them to turn
my electricity back on.

1515
00:58:57,576 --> 00:58:59,920
You can't be alone on...

1516
00:58:59,995 --> 00:59:01,417
You can't be alone
on New Year's.

1517
00:59:01,496 --> 00:59:03,214
Come on, that's just not right.

1518
00:59:03,290 --> 00:59:04,883
You want me to stay that long'?

1519
00:59:04,958 --> 00:59:06,960
I thought you were going
on your big cruise.

1520
00:59:08,170 --> 00:59:12,016
Jill, I want you to come

1521
00:59:14,468 --> 00:59:15,970
on the cruise with us.

1522
00:59:16,720 --> 00:59:19,473
Pagogo, I can't believe it.
Of course I'll come with you.

1523
00:59:19,806 --> 00:59:23,026
Thank you! Yes! I mean, of...
You want... Yes!

1524
00:59:23,477 --> 00:59:25,855
Yes! Oh... Oh, my God!

1525
00:59:25,937 --> 00:59:28,565
Poopsie, Poopsie, we're
cruising through Europe!

1526
00:59:35,947 --> 00:59:37,870
Welcome to Royal
Caribbean International.

1527
00:59:42,454 --> 00:59:46,425
<i>♪ Vacation, all I ever wanted ♪
♪ Vacation, had to get away ♪</i>

1528
00:59:46,500 --> 00:59:49,800
Oh, Poopsie, we're not
in the Bronx any more.

1529
00:59:50,128 --> 00:59:52,176
This boat has everything!
Oh, my God!

1530
00:59:52,297 --> 00:59:54,138
Hello?
What took you so long to pick up'?

1531
00:59:54,341 --> 00:59:56,264
Jack, Pacino's called
here three times.

1532
00:59:56,343 --> 00:59:58,266
What do you want me to tell the
Dunkin' Donuts people, all right'?

1533
00:59:58,345 --> 01:00:00,939
We got five days, Jack, to get
Scarface or they move on.

1534
01:00:01,056 --> 01:00:02,273
I know, I know.

1535
01:00:02,390 --> 01:00:05,064
Oh, my God!
There's a pool on a boat?

1536
01:00:05,519 --> 01:00:07,479
Do you want me to get AI
Pacino on the phone now'?

1537
01:00:07,521 --> 01:00:10,274
Tell Pacino I'll call him
tonight at 5:30, okay'?

1538
01:00:10,357 --> 01:00:12,030
- And just one more thing.
- Yeah, what?

1539
01:00:12,484 --> 01:00:14,703
God told me your feet were
on my desk, so get them off!

1540
01:00:22,869 --> 01:00:24,963
All you can eat.

1541
01:00:25,038 --> 01:00:26,585
Go for it, Poopsie.

1542
01:00:26,665 --> 01:00:27,791
Have a chocolate bath.

1543
01:00:27,874 --> 01:00:29,171
Where were you?

1544
01:00:29,376 --> 01:00:30,923
Oh! All right, it's 5:30.

1545
01:00:31,002 --> 01:00:32,629
- I got to make a call.
- To who?

1546
01:00:32,712 --> 01:00:35,966
Uh, I got one last business
call to make and then

1547
01:00:36,049 --> 01:00:37,801
that's it for me.
I love you. Be back.

1548
01:00:41,054 --> 01:00:44,433
Amongst this princely heap,
if any here,

1549
01:00:44,516 --> 01:00:46,196
by false intelligence...

1550
01:00:49,271 --> 01:00:50,523
Hold me a foe

1551
01:00:50,814 --> 01:00:53,283
if I unwittingly...

1552
01:00:54,651 --> 01:00:58,747
or in my rage, committed
aught that is hardly borne

1553
01:00:58,822 --> 01:01:02,827
by any in this princely
presence, I do reconcile.

1554
01:01:03,201 --> 01:01:06,580
myself to his friendly peace.

1555
01:01:08,540 --> 01:01:10,588
'Tis death to me
to be at enmity,

1556
01:01:11,084 --> 01:01:13,303
and desire all good men's love.

1557
01:01:13,879 --> 01:01:15,256
Where were you, Popcorn?

1558
01:01:15,589 --> 01:01:16,761
What do you mean?
It's 5:30.

1559
01:01:16,965 --> 01:01:20,595
No, no, it's 9:30 my time.
I was waiting for you at 5:30.

1560
01:01:20,886 --> 01:01:22,513
Oh, it's four hours
the other way.

1561
01:01:22,596 --> 01:01:24,348
I just... I got confused. I...

1562
01:01:24,598 --> 01:01:25,850
Okay, whatever,
whatever, whatever.

1563
01:01:25,932 --> 01:01:27,479
What's going on?
How's she doing'?

1564
01:01:27,893 --> 01:01:30,453
We're, uh, we're, uh, we're coming along.
That's how we're doing.

1565
01:01:30,812 --> 01:01:32,155
Coming along?
What does that mean, "coming along"?

1566
01:01:32,230 --> 01:01:34,198
- What does that mean?
- Come on, wrap it up!

1567
01:01:35,442 --> 01:01:36,864
It means we're getting there.

1568
01:01:36,943 --> 01:01:38,240
We just need
a little more time.

1569
01:01:38,612 --> 01:01:40,740
Put her on the phone.
I want to hear her voice.

1570
01:01:40,822 --> 01:01:42,039
Ah, she's not here right now.

1571
01:01:42,115 --> 01:01:44,584
This reminds me of that
boat movie with Leonardo.

1572
01:01:45,076 --> 01:01:47,499
<i>- Titanic?
- No, the one with the iceberg.</i>

1573
01:01:47,579 --> 01:01:49,832
Who is that?
That was, uh, Poopsie.

1574
01:01:50,165 --> 01:01:51,726
Why won't you let me talk...

1575
01:01:51,791 --> 01:01:53,714
Hey, can you... You got to be quiet.
I can't hear him!

1576
01:01:53,793 --> 01:01:55,466
All right? Please. Please!

1577
01:01:55,879 --> 01:01:57,927
Yeah, listen,
you get me this girl,

1578
01:01:58,423 --> 01:02:01,142
<i>or you don't get that Dunkaccino
commercial, you understand?</i>

1579
01:02:01,593 --> 01:02:03,015
Don't you know me?

1580
01:02:03,720 --> 01:02:05,939
Don't you know
I would use all my power,

1581
01:02:06,014 --> 01:02:07,266
all the power I have,

1582
01:02:07,349 --> 01:02:09,317
to keep a commercial
like that from happening'?

1583
01:02:09,643 --> 01:02:10,735
Don't you know that?

1584
01:02:10,977 --> 01:02:13,230
Is he seriously breaking
out The Godfather?

1585
01:02:13,980 --> 01:02:15,482
I swear to God,
I'm going to cry.

1586
01:02:15,732 --> 01:02:17,200
Put her on!

1587
01:02:17,484 --> 01:02:19,578
Put her on!

1588
01:02:19,653 --> 01:02:20,825
Pacino!

1589
01:02:20,904 --> 01:02:22,030
Yeah, yeah, yeah, all right.

1590
01:02:22,113 --> 01:02:23,831
Hang on for a second.
I'll put her on.

1591
01:02:26,034 --> 01:02:27,081
Hello'?

1592
01:02:27,619 --> 01:02:30,543
Jill, my darling,
just to hear your voice.

1593
01:02:30,956 --> 01:02:33,237
What are they doing?
Why are they trying to keep us apart?

1594
01:02:33,500 --> 01:02:35,252
Nobody's keeping
me apart from anybody.

1595
01:02:35,335 --> 01:02:37,087
I'm my own person.
You remember that.

1596
01:02:37,170 --> 01:02:38,491
<i>Oh, I know
you're your own person.</i>

1597
01:02:38,838 --> 01:02:40,010
Nobody's like you.

1598
01:02:40,340 --> 01:02:41,341
Uh...

1599
01:02:42,175 --> 01:02:43,518
Would you like
a little privacy?

1600
01:02:43,593 --> 01:02:44,765
I could finish up for you.

1601
01:02:44,844 --> 01:02:46,004
No, no, it's okay. It's okay.

1602
01:02:46,012 --> 01:02:49,141
Nobody wants to see you.
But thanks, anyway.

1603
01:02:49,683 --> 01:02:50,684
Jill.

1604
01:02:51,309 --> 01:02:53,186
Can you meet me
when you dock in Spain'?

1605
01:02:53,520 --> 01:02:55,568
But what about
your Shakespeare show'?

1606
01:02:55,647 --> 01:02:56,864
Don't you have that to do?

1607
01:02:57,190 --> 01:02:58,362
You kidding? This is L.A.

1608
01:02:58,441 --> 01:03:00,239
They got Bruce Jenner
playing Lord Rivers.

1609
01:03:02,404 --> 01:03:03,997
Yeah, I don't think so.

1610
01:03:04,281 --> 01:03:05,749
Darling, put your brother on.

1611
01:03:05,824 --> 01:03:07,041
<i>Okay. Here he is.</i>

1612
01:03:07,492 --> 01:03:08,813
Hello. Jack's back.

1613
01:03:08,994 --> 01:03:12,089
Popcorn, we did it! We did it!

1614
01:03:12,163 --> 01:03:13,484
I'm coming,
I'm coming to get her!

1615
01:03:13,832 --> 01:03:16,085
You're coming to get her? She just
said, "I don't think so," I thought.

1616
01:03:16,501 --> 01:03:18,344
I can smell horny
across an ocean.

1617
01:03:19,713 --> 01:03:20,993
Here's how
it's going to go down.

1618
01:03:21,256 --> 01:03:24,385
9:00 p.m. tomorrow,
top deck, portside.

1619
01:03:24,926 --> 01:03:26,052
I'll be there.

1620
01:03:28,388 --> 01:03:29,981
Audience, could you
tell me where I was?

1621
01:03:30,056 --> 01:03:31,433
"But he, poor soul."

1622
01:03:31,516 --> 01:03:33,644
But he, poor soul,

1623
01:03:33,727 --> 01:03:35,980
by your first order died.

1624
01:03:36,187 --> 01:03:38,235
Good afternoon, passengers.

1625
01:03:38,315 --> 01:03:40,943
<i>Hope you all are enjoying our
Royal Caribbean activities.</i>

1626
01:03:41,026 --> 01:03:42,824
<i>And for those of you
going ashore later,</i>

1627
01:03:42,902 --> 01:03:45,655
<i>we will be arriving in
beautiful Majorca by sunset.</i>

1628
01:03:45,739 --> 01:03:47,707
Come on, sweetie. Go!

1629
01:03:47,907 --> 01:03:49,534
Jump! Jump!

1630
01:03:49,743 --> 01:03:51,996
Oh, no, no, she's good.

1631
01:03:52,078 --> 01:03:54,251
Pagogo, why don't these guys
know how to jump rope?

1632
01:03:54,331 --> 01:03:55,371
Why didn't you teach them?

1633
01:03:55,415 --> 01:03:57,543
We were the double dutch
kings in our neighborhood,

1634
01:03:57,625 --> 01:03:59,377
and these guys can't
do a single wing-ding.

1635
01:03:59,461 --> 01:04:01,054
Daddy, you know
how to jump rope'?

1636
01:04:01,171 --> 01:04:02,673
No, I don't know
how to jump rope.

1637
01:04:02,756 --> 01:04:03,928
Your father likes to pretend

1638
01:04:04,007 --> 01:04:05,680
his life started in California.

1639
01:04:05,759 --> 01:04:07,727
We were champs.
Everyone loved us in the neighborhood.

1640
01:04:07,802 --> 01:04:09,145
Come on, Daddy, please.

1641
01:04:09,429 --> 01:04:10,669
- No. No, no.
- Bring it over here!

1642
01:04:10,764 --> 01:04:12,607
CiCi, Rodney, kick it!

1643
01:04:12,891 --> 01:04:15,189
- Get up here. Get up here.
- I, uh...

1644
01:04:15,268 --> 01:04:17,487
Do it, do it. Yes!

1645
01:04:17,562 --> 01:04:20,190
- Oh!
- Let's go! Come on!

1646
01:04:20,273 --> 01:04:22,241
Here's the twin power.
Bring it!

1647
01:04:22,317 --> 01:04:23,694
Oh, my God. Okay.

1648
01:04:28,073 --> 01:04:29,073
WOW!

1649
01:04:29,115 --> 01:04:30,207
Do "The Mummy."

1650
01:04:33,453 --> 01:04:34,921
Come on, turn up the heat.

1651
01:04:35,663 --> 01:04:37,381
<i>♪ It's tricky to rock a rhyme ♪</i>

1652
01:04:37,457 --> 01:04:39,209
<i>♪ To rock a rhyme ♪
♪ That's right on time ♪</i>

1653
01:04:39,292 --> 01:04:41,010
<i>♪ It's tricky, tricky, huh! I ♪</i>

1654
01:04:47,634 --> 01:04:49,011
That was all your father.

1655
01:04:49,135 --> 01:04:50,227
That was you!

1656
01:04:50,303 --> 01:04:51,555
You were great, Pokee.

1657
01:04:51,721 --> 01:04:52,893
Now she's Pokee?

1658
01:04:52,972 --> 01:04:54,064
She's always been Pokee.

1659
01:04:54,140 --> 01:04:56,984
I was thinking,
tonight, portside,

1660
01:04:57,060 --> 01:04:59,904
you could go on that deck,
check out the stars,

1661
01:04:59,979 --> 01:05:01,859
put on something gorgeous,
'cause there might be

1662
01:05:01,940 --> 01:05:03,692
a handsome surprise
waiting for you.

1663
01:05:03,775 --> 01:05:06,244
Oh, really? You going to
introduce me to my Mr. Right?

1664
01:05:06,694 --> 01:05:08,321
Uh, maybe.

1665
01:05:08,655 --> 01:05:10,077
Oh, really?

1666
01:05:10,156 --> 01:05:13,251
It's not Al Pacino, is it?

1667
01:05:13,326 --> 01:05:14,919
Why, is it Al Pacino?

1668
01:05:14,994 --> 01:05:16,416
No, no, it's not.

1669
01:05:16,663 --> 01:05:18,131
'Cause that would just
hurt me at this point.

1670
01:05:18,206 --> 01:05:19,423
But it's not, so...

1671
01:05:19,749 --> 01:05:22,502
Treating me like some sort
of prosti-twin, that's bad.

1672
01:05:22,836 --> 01:05:25,680
It's not. It's not. It's not.
It's not, all right?

1673
01:05:25,755 --> 01:05:27,348
All right! Then why are
you getting so angry?

1674
01:05:27,424 --> 01:05:28,767
Why are you so annoying?

1675
01:05:28,967 --> 01:05:29,968
- What?
- Jack!

1676
01:05:30,051 --> 01:05:32,349
Why would you say that?
We were just having fun!

1677
01:05:32,429 --> 01:05:34,898
We never have fun when you're around!
I'm sorry!

1678
01:05:35,014 --> 01:05:38,109
Oh, no, no! You... This is you, man!
This is on you! Go, go!

1679
01:05:38,184 --> 01:05:39,686
You're out of your mind!
You're out of your mind!

1680
01:05:39,769 --> 01:05:42,067
Yeah, yeah, yeah!

1681
01:05:45,358 --> 01:05:47,326
Let's see. Pit stain.

1682
01:05:48,945 --> 01:05:50,037
Pit stain.

1683
01:05:51,990 --> 01:05:53,082
I don't know what that is.

1684
01:05:54,033 --> 01:05:55,706
Okay, clean.

1685
01:06:01,875 --> 01:06:04,799
You tell anybody, I will
fry you up and eat you.

1686
01:06:04,878 --> 01:06:05,879
Huh'?

1687
01:06:05,962 --> 01:06:06,963
Yeah.

1688
01:07:21,454 --> 01:07:23,172
All right, where is he, man?

1689
01:07:23,248 --> 01:07:24,841
He said portside, I'm portside.

1690
01:07:24,916 --> 01:07:26,509
Where am I supposed to be?

1691
01:07:28,962 --> 01:07:31,556
Cheesecake! Huh!

1692
01:07:31,798 --> 01:07:34,221
Oh! Holy crap!

1693
01:07:34,634 --> 01:07:37,137
Just climb on
the ladder, there!

1694
01:07:37,762 --> 01:07:40,390
Don't you think maybe
you should land that thing?

1695
01:07:40,473 --> 01:07:42,100
That would be easier for me!

1696
01:07:42,600 --> 01:07:44,898
It's safer to hover!

1697
01:07:45,144 --> 01:07:46,817
WOW!

1698
01:07:47,981 --> 01:07:50,404
Yeah! Whoa!

1699
01:07:50,483 --> 01:07:52,531
Xavier, look at her go!

1700
01:08:00,660 --> 01:08:02,378
Ho! I am back!

1701
01:08:02,453 --> 01:08:03,454
Ah...

1702
01:08:03,538 --> 01:08:05,040
<i>Señorita, I was gone too long?</i>

1703
01:08:05,123 --> 01:08:06,591
No, not at all.

1704
01:08:06,666 --> 01:08:08,418
It's, uh...
Really good to see you again.

1705
01:08:08,585 --> 01:08:11,464
So, what is different about
you tonight? I don't know.

1706
01:08:11,838 --> 01:08:13,715
- Nothing.
- No, no, no, no.

1707
01:08:13,798 --> 01:08:15,721
There's something...
Did you drop some weight'?

1708
01:08:16,134 --> 01:08:17,727
- Maybe that's it. Yeah, I'm looking thinner.
- Yeah, I think so.

1709
01:08:17,802 --> 01:08:19,163
That's probably
what you're seeing.

1710
01:08:19,220 --> 01:08:21,439
I think you're more
feminine or something.

1711
01:08:21,514 --> 01:08:23,437
A little more... Less muscular.

1712
01:08:24,017 --> 01:08:26,736
I don't agree, but, uh... Okay.

1713
01:08:28,271 --> 01:08:29,898
Gloobledy globble bibbly blop.

1714
01:08:30,481 --> 01:08:32,575
Blobbledobble... gibbledy blip.

1715
01:08:32,650 --> 01:08:34,823
Hibbledy globb, shoelace.

1716
01:08:38,656 --> 01:08:40,954
This is the heavy, hard stuff
or how are we doing here?

1717
01:08:41,034 --> 01:08:42,206
What is this?

1718
01:08:42,535 --> 01:08:45,163
<i>One for the lady.
¡Qué lindo!</i>

1719
01:08:45,246 --> 01:08:46,372
That's enough for me.

1720
01:08:46,539 --> 01:08:47,586
Who's Poopsie?

1721
01:08:47,665 --> 01:08:49,338
I keep hearing,
"Poopsie, Poopsie."

1722
01:08:49,751 --> 01:08:51,253
Poopsie is my bird.

1723
01:08:51,544 --> 01:08:52,841
Ah?

1724
01:08:52,920 --> 01:08:54,092
I used to raise pigeons.

1725
01:08:54,672 --> 01:08:55,969
Really? Yeah.

1726
01:08:56,049 --> 01:08:57,676
No, I'm sorry. That was Brando.

1727
01:08:58,051 --> 01:09:00,520
Oh!

1728
01:09:01,596 --> 01:09:02,643
Are you ticklish?

1729
01:09:02,722 --> 01:09:03,723
No.

1730
01:09:04,057 --> 01:09:05,650
- Oh!
- I said I'm not, so...

1731
01:09:05,725 --> 01:09:06,851
No, no, it's just that

1732
01:09:07,060 --> 01:09:10,234
Stella Adler, the great acting
teacher, once wrote in a book,

1733
01:09:10,563 --> 01:09:13,692
the only way you can really get
to know somebody is if you,

1734
01:09:13,775 --> 01:09:17,120
uh, watch their behavior
when they're being tickled.

1735
01:09:17,487 --> 01:09:18,659
Would you do me the honor

1736
01:09:18,738 --> 01:09:20,615
and just lift up
those girlie arms'?

1737
01:09:20,907 --> 01:09:24,332
I just haven't shaved under
there in many, many years.

1738
01:09:24,410 --> 01:09:25,377
You don't want to see that.

1739
01:09:25,453 --> 01:09:27,171
We're in Europe.
It doesn't matter.

1740
01:09:27,246 --> 01:09:29,499
I think even here, they might
be, like, "What is that?"

1741
01:09:29,582 --> 01:09:32,631
No, no, not here.
Give me a try.

1742
01:09:32,877 --> 01:09:34,003
Okay, so, here we go.

1743
01:09:34,587 --> 01:09:35,804
Oh, my God.

1744
01:09:35,880 --> 01:09:37,257
Ah! Look at us.

1745
01:09:44,764 --> 01:09:47,108
- All right! Stop it!
- What?

1746
01:09:50,269 --> 01:09:51,361
What was that?

1747
01:09:51,729 --> 01:09:54,653
Just...  I don't really...
I didn't like that.

1748
01:09:54,732 --> 01:09:56,029
- I'm sorry.
- That was powerful.

1749
01:09:56,109 --> 01:09:58,282
And it just came out
of you like, "Boom!"

1750
01:10:02,240 --> 01:10:04,208
You know, what?
We're better with just... Oh!

1751
01:10:04,283 --> 01:10:06,251
Whoa. Whoa!

1752
01:10:07,453 --> 01:10:09,251
I don't even know
where Jack is right now.

1753
01:10:09,330 --> 01:10:12,254
He's avoiding me.
That's where he is.

1754
01:10:12,458 --> 01:10:13,630
Can I work in with you guys?

1755
01:10:14,377 --> 01:10:15,799
Sure. Knock yourself out.

1756
01:10:16,295 --> 01:10:18,718
I think he hates
'cause I talk so much.

1757
01:10:18,798 --> 01:10:20,641
It bothers him, you know?

1758
01:10:21,092 --> 01:10:22,435
But when I'm in the Bronx,

1759
01:10:22,510 --> 01:10:24,888
I have no one else
to talk to but Poopsie,

1760
01:10:24,971 --> 01:10:28,646
so when I'm around other humans, I...
I tend to blab a lot.

1761
01:10:28,850 --> 01:10:30,898
- No, you don't.
- I do, I do.

1762
01:10:30,977 --> 01:10:33,230
Will you throw
a couple more 45s on'?

1763
01:10:33,312 --> 01:10:35,110
Erin, he was being
so nice to me,

1764
01:10:35,189 --> 01:10:37,032
and then I had to
bring up the Pacino thing,

1765
01:10:37,108 --> 01:10:38,325
because. I don't know.

1766
01:10:38,401 --> 01:10:41,371
I do that. It's just 'cause
I'm insecure, you know'?

1767
01:10:41,446 --> 01:10:44,996
I feel like the only reason
he brought me on this cruise

1768
01:10:45,074 --> 01:10:47,497
is for some Pacino-related
shenanigans

1769
01:10:47,577 --> 01:10:49,170
and it just gets in my head.

1770
01:10:49,245 --> 01:10:50,963
He told me he wanted you
to come on this cruise

1771
01:10:51,038 --> 01:10:53,132
because he didn't want you to
spend your first New Year's Eve

1772
01:10:53,207 --> 01:10:54,459
without your mom alone.

1773
01:10:55,084 --> 01:10:56,336
He said that?

1774
01:10:56,836 --> 01:10:57,837
Yeah.

1775
01:10:59,589 --> 01:11:01,933
Oh, my God, that
means so much to me.

1776
01:11:02,175 --> 01:11:05,304
Why didn't I use my twin
powers to know that?

1777
01:11:05,386 --> 01:11:07,935
Do they not work when
you're out of the country'?

1778
01:11:08,181 --> 01:11:09,228
Maybe they don't.

1779
01:11:09,515 --> 01:11:11,313
That's why he was mad!

1780
01:11:11,392 --> 01:11:14,191
'Cause he was being good to me, and I...
I did what I did

1781
01:11:14,270 --> 01:11:16,113
and I'm a jerk,
and I have to call him.

1782
01:11:16,272 --> 01:11:18,570
And I'm gonna straighten the
whole family vacation out,

1783
01:11:18,691 --> 01:11:20,492
- I promise. This is so cool!
- Push!

1784
01:11:23,279 --> 01:11:25,202
Push! Push harder!

1785
01:11:25,990 --> 01:11:27,617
I was pushing it!

1786
01:11:30,870 --> 01:11:32,998
Hey! Hey!

1787
01:11:33,080 --> 01:11:36,880
All right! Al Pacino!
Al, Al Pacino!

1788
01:11:37,168 --> 01:11:39,512
Al Pacino!
Now you got it!

1789
01:11:39,587 --> 01:11:41,840
All right, let's have...
Here you go!

1790
01:11:42,173 --> 01:11:43,800
Boom! Ah, yeah!

1791
01:11:43,925 --> 01:11:46,019
Oh, I always come on the short end of that.
I'm getting a call.

1792
01:11:47,970 --> 01:11:50,098
Hello. Hello?

1793
01:11:50,181 --> 01:11:51,273
Hello?

1794
01:11:51,933 --> 01:11:52,980
I don't understand.

1795
01:11:53,059 --> 01:11:54,936
Are you mocking
my voice right now'?

1796
01:11:55,061 --> 01:11:56,313
No, no, no, I'm not.

1797
01:11:56,395 --> 01:11:57,988
I... I can't talk right now.

1798
01:11:58,356 --> 01:12:00,905
Okay, don't talk, then.
Just listen.

1799
01:12:01,275 --> 01:12:04,370
I just want
to tell you I'm sorry.

1800
01:12:04,445 --> 01:12:07,494
I'm... I'm the reason
we're fighting right now.

1801
01:12:07,573 --> 01:12:09,667
And... And I never
thank you enough

1802
01:12:09,742 --> 01:12:12,416
for doing all you do
for me, so thank you.

1803
01:12:12,620 --> 01:12:13,900
- Who is that, your brother?
- Yeah.

1804
01:12:14,413 --> 01:12:15,505
Who is that, Jack?

1805
01:12:15,665 --> 01:12:17,383
That's, uh...
It's... It's nobody!

1806
01:12:17,458 --> 01:12:21,338
Hey, Popcorn,
we're having fun here!

1807
01:12:22,129 --> 01:12:23,676
Are you with Al Pacino?

1808
01:12:23,798 --> 01:12:26,051
No, no, I'm not! I just...

1809
01:12:26,133 --> 01:12:28,010
I said I can't talk
right now, weirdo!

1810
01:12:28,636 --> 01:12:30,013
Please tell me you're not doing

1811
01:12:30,096 --> 01:12:31,268
what I think you're doing.

1812
01:12:31,681 --> 01:12:34,275
I said I can't talk,
so I'm hanging up!

1813
01:12:34,350 --> 01:12:36,148
Jack, speak in
your regular voice

1814
01:12:36,227 --> 01:12:37,649
or I'll know the real reason

1815
01:12:37,728 --> 01:12:39,446
why you brought me
on this cruise.

1816
01:12:39,772 --> 01:12:41,012
I can't always do what you want

1817
01:12:41,065 --> 01:12:42,282
when you want it! Bye!

1818
01:13:17,727 --> 01:13:19,570
I mean, come on!

1819
01:13:21,147 --> 01:13:23,024
Hey, what's
Popcorn's problem'?

1820
01:13:23,357 --> 01:13:26,110
Mayor McCheesy doesn't
like his new script'?

1821
01:13:26,235 --> 01:13:28,454
Oh, get over yourself.

1822
01:13:28,529 --> 01:13:30,827
My brother's very good
at what he does.

1823
01:13:30,990 --> 01:13:33,334
He's going to write a book
one day, you'll see.

1824
01:13:33,409 --> 01:13:35,707
Oh, yes, he's an author.
I forgot, that's right.

1825
01:13:35,786 --> 01:13:38,710
He's got a whole novel in him
about Desenex foot powder.

1826
01:13:38,998 --> 01:13:40,090
Ooh! Oh!

1827
01:13:40,166 --> 01:13:41,418
So funny.

1828
01:13:41,500 --> 01:13:43,844
Okay. Yes.

1829
01:13:43,961 --> 01:13:47,511
Oh, that's the Bronx girl
coming back.

1830
01:13:47,673 --> 01:13:51,348
Now, you take back what
you said about Pagogo!

1831
01:13:51,552 --> 01:13:53,179
Go ahead, do it.

1832
01:13:53,346 --> 01:13:54,598
Defend the honor

1833
01:13:54,680 --> 01:13:58,310
of that self-deluded,
sycophantic, bitter hack.

1834
01:14:03,856 --> 01:14:05,779
- Are you okay?
- Get off of me.

1835
01:14:06,150 --> 01:14:07,322
- Okay.
- It's not okay.

1836
01:14:07,526 --> 01:14:08,778
I'm sorry.

1837
01:14:08,861 --> 01:14:09,953
I know... What could I do?

1838
01:14:10,029 --> 01:14:11,531
You know, you had that, uh...

1839
01:14:11,614 --> 01:14:13,161
You had a broken bottle
and were coming at me.

1840
01:14:13,240 --> 01:14:14,457
- Yeah, yeah, well,
- get away from me.

1841
01:14:14,533 --> 01:14:15,910
- All right.
- Just let me breathe for a second.

1842
01:14:15,993 --> 01:14:17,961
I just... I need my own space.

1843
01:14:18,245 --> 01:14:19,497
- Back up.
- Okay, all right, I'm backing up.

1844
01:14:19,580 --> 01:14:20,877
Back up! All right!

1845
01:14:20,957 --> 01:14:22,425
- Oh, geez. Hey...
- You don't hit a girl

1846
01:14:22,500 --> 01:14:24,047
with a chair on the first date!

1847
01:14:24,502 --> 01:14:27,005
It's amazing
the way you stick up

1848
01:14:27,088 --> 01:14:29,182
for your brother. It's just...

1849
01:14:29,256 --> 01:14:30,303
Well, I got to do that.

1850
01:14:30,383 --> 01:14:32,306
Don't I at least owe him that?

1851
01:14:32,385 --> 01:14:35,309
'Cause all I ever do is take things
from him and ruin things and...

1852
01:14:35,388 --> 01:14:36,731
Well, that's his point
of view, you know.

1853
01:14:36,806 --> 01:14:39,685
I mean, that's the way
he makes you see yourself.

1854
01:14:40,559 --> 01:14:41,731
You want to know what I see?

1855
01:14:42,019 --> 01:14:43,191
Yes, I want to
know what you see.

1856
01:14:43,270 --> 01:14:44,692
You can get any girl
in the world,

1857
01:14:44,772 --> 01:14:45,864
and why would you want me?

1858
01:14:45,940 --> 01:14:47,362
Answer that. It makes no sense.

1859
01:14:49,318 --> 01:14:52,538
Well, I see an angel
with a broken wing.

1860
01:14:53,072 --> 01:14:55,495
I see a brother who
all he got all his life

1861
01:14:55,574 --> 01:14:57,167
was everything.

1862
01:14:57,410 --> 01:14:59,788
All the glory,
all the accolades,

1863
01:15:00,413 --> 01:15:02,006
everything since they were two.

1864
01:15:02,915 --> 01:15:08,422
I... I see a girl
who wants recognition

1865
01:15:09,088 --> 01:15:10,886
but just never gets it,

1866
01:15:10,965 --> 01:15:13,434
yet she has a heart so big,

1867
01:15:14,635 --> 01:15:16,057
she finds happiness

1868
01:15:17,430 --> 01:15:19,148
in seeing her brother
receive it all.

1869
01:15:20,766 --> 01:15:23,815
Yeah, yeah, but come on,
aren't I a pain in the butt?

1870
01:15:23,894 --> 01:15:26,568
I mean, don't I
annoy everybody?

1871
01:15:27,106 --> 01:15:29,029
You got so much love
in you, Jill,

1872
01:15:29,108 --> 01:15:31,452
so much to give.

1873
01:15:31,986 --> 01:15:34,614
You just need someone
to give it to.

1874
01:15:38,492 --> 01:15:41,291
<i>♪ To dream ♪</i>

1875
01:15:44,081 --> 01:15:46,300
<i>♪ The impossible dream ♪</i>

1876
01:15:48,627 --> 01:15:50,470
<i>♪ To fight ♪</i>

1877
01:15:51,338 --> 01:15:54,808
<i>♪ The unbeatable foe ♪</i>

1878
01:15:55,426 --> 01:16:01,399
<i>♪ To bear with ♪
♪ unbearable sorrow ♪</i>

1879
01:16:01,766 --> 01:16:03,018
Dulcinea.

1880
01:16:03,350 --> 01:16:05,148
Dulci-what-a'?

1881
01:16:05,227 --> 01:16:08,777
You are Dulcinea from the
Broadway play they offered me

1882
01:16:09,231 --> 01:16:13,327
and I am the Man of La Mancha.

1883
01:16:13,486 --> 01:16:14,533
Oh.

1884
01:16:14,779 --> 01:16:15,996
You got me there.

1885
01:16:16,238 --> 01:16:18,036
I'm taking the part!

1886
01:16:18,115 --> 01:16:19,458
What about my brother?

1887
01:16:19,533 --> 01:16:21,877
What do I do? What do I say'?

1888
01:16:21,994 --> 01:16:23,246
Ah, your brother.

1889
01:16:23,329 --> 01:16:25,752
Oh, I don't know there's
much you can do about him.

1890
01:16:25,831 --> 01:16:26,957
I mean, not that
he doesn't love you.

1891
01:16:27,041 --> 01:16:30,261
He loves you, I'm sure, but
it's a kind of deathbed love,

1892
01:16:30,544 --> 01:16:33,514
the kind of love he'll look
back on when it's too late.

1893
01:16:33,881 --> 01:16:34,928
<i>Hey, listen, I'm gonna
do Man of La Mancha.</i>

1894
01:16:35,007 --> 01:16:36,600
No, no, no, I got to fix it.

1895
01:16:36,675 --> 01:16:39,428
I got to fix it now,
now I got to fix it.

1896
01:16:39,512 --> 01:16:40,559
Hey, where are you going?

1897
01:16:40,638 --> 01:16:41,855
Back to the ship.

1898
01:16:42,014 --> 01:16:44,767
Would you stay if I did
your brother's commercial'?

1899
01:16:44,850 --> 01:16:46,397
Oh, the heck with
that commercial.

1900
01:16:46,477 --> 01:16:48,445
I'm going to see my womb-mate.

1901
01:16:51,357 --> 01:16:53,030
Come on,
come on, pick up the phone.

1902
01:16:53,109 --> 01:16:54,452
You have
reached the voice mailbox</i> of...

1903
01:16:54,527 --> 01:16:56,495
<i>What is this? How do you...</i>

1904
01:16:56,570 --> 01:16:58,322
<i>To leave
a voice message, press one.</i>

1905
01:16:58,405 --> 01:16:59,531
Oh, God.

1906
01:17:00,866 --> 01:17:01,992
Jill!

1907
01:17:03,202 --> 01:17:05,296
Jill, open up!

1908
01:17:05,371 --> 01:17:06,463
Jack?

1909
01:17:06,956 --> 01:17:08,253
Um, what are you wearing?

1910
01:17:09,625 --> 01:17:11,548
You were with Al Pacino,
weren't you?

1911
01:17:12,753 --> 01:17:14,881
Wow, you're good.

1912
01:17:15,214 --> 01:17:16,466
Jill was right.

1913
01:17:16,549 --> 01:17:18,051
You are a weirdo.

1914
01:17:18,175 --> 01:17:19,552
I know I am.

1915
01:17:19,885 --> 01:17:21,307
Where is she?
Where's Jill?

1916
01:17:21,720 --> 01:17:24,644
She went home,
and now I know why.

1917
01:17:25,766 --> 01:17:27,268
She went home?

1918
01:17:29,186 --> 01:17:31,814
Oh, God, what am I going to do?

1919
01:17:33,774 --> 01:17:39,076
<i>♪ Good-bye, good-bye ♪</i>

1920
01:17:39,530 --> 01:17:42,909
<i>♪ Good-bye, my love ♪</i>

1921
01:17:44,869 --> 01:17:47,748
<i>♪ I can't hide ♪</i>

1922
01:17:47,997 --> 01:17:50,591
<i>♪ Can't hide ♪</i>

1923
01:17:50,833 --> 01:17:54,838
<i>♪ Can't hide what has come ♪</i>

1924
01:17:55,254 --> 01:17:56,801
Happy New Year!

1925
01:17:56,881 --> 01:17:58,178
Happy New Year!

1926
01:17:58,257 --> 01:18:02,683
<i>♪ I have to go ♪</i>

1927
01:18:03,512 --> 01:18:06,140
<i>♪ And leave you alone ♪</i>

1928
01:18:06,390 --> 01:18:08,893
<i>♪ But always know ♪</i>

1929
01:18:09,393 --> 01:18:14,194
<i>♪ Always know ♪</i>

1930
01:18:15,065 --> 01:18:19,115
Going in alone is fine,
Mom, and I'm not alone.

1931
01:18:19,195 --> 01:18:20,663
I'm with you.

1932
01:18:25,159 --> 01:18:27,457
<i>♪ Good-bye ♪</i>

1933
01:18:27,953 --> 01:18:30,251
<i>♪ Good-bye ♪</i>

1934
01:18:32,708 --> 01:18:34,927
Hey, well, guess what,
I'm not wearing underwear.

1935
01:18:35,002 --> 01:18:36,049
It's New Year's Eve.

1936
01:18:37,796 --> 01:18:39,218
Let's have some fun.

1937
01:18:44,136 --> 01:18:46,980
Yo, you guys.
Is that Jill Sadelstein?

1938
01:18:48,224 --> 01:18:49,897
She was absolutely
the biggest loser

1939
01:18:49,975 --> 01:18:51,522
in our high school.

1940
01:18:51,602 --> 01:18:53,650
I mean, didn't she marry that
bird and move to the jungle?

1941
01:18:55,522 --> 01:18:58,401
OMG, she's here alone tonight.

1942
01:18:58,484 --> 01:19:00,157
The loserness continues.

1943
01:19:02,863 --> 01:19:04,080
Hey, Jill.

1944
01:19:05,407 --> 01:19:07,409
Oh, hey! Happy New Year, guys.

1945
01:19:07,493 --> 01:19:08,995
Where you been hiding, hon?

1946
01:19:09,286 --> 01:19:12,961
I was visiting my brother
for Thanksgiving, and he...

1947
01:19:13,040 --> 01:19:15,759
I just decided to stay out
there with him for a while.

1948
01:19:15,960 --> 01:19:17,803
Yeah, he must have loved that.

1949
01:19:18,963 --> 01:19:22,513
For your information, Carol,
he begged me to stay,

1950
01:19:22,591 --> 01:19:25,390
but I'm just too exhausted
from being on game shows

1951
01:19:25,469 --> 01:19:27,642
and dating movie stars.

1952
01:19:27,721 --> 01:19:30,019
Oh, who'd you hook up
with, Rob Schneider?

1953
01:19:31,350 --> 01:19:32,567
I like him.

1954
01:19:32,768 --> 01:19:34,862
God, you're hot.

1955
01:19:34,937 --> 01:19:36,610
You know, I don't like
to kiss and tell,

1956
01:19:36,689 --> 01:19:40,410
but I was with Sir Al
Pacino for a whole night.

1957
01:19:40,776 --> 01:19:43,370
Aw, honey, it must
not have worked out

1958
01:19:43,445 --> 01:19:44,867
since you're all alone tonight.

1959
01:19:44,989 --> 01:19:46,161
Yeah. Aren't you'?

1960
01:19:46,240 --> 01:19:47,958
She's not alone.

1961
01:19:48,284 --> 01:19:49,536
She's with her family.

1962
01:19:50,244 --> 01:19:51,996
- Jack?
- Jill.

1963
01:19:52,288 --> 01:19:53,710
What are you doing here?

1964
01:19:53,789 --> 01:19:55,132
That's Jack.

1965
01:19:55,207 --> 01:19:57,335
I just... I realized

1966
01:19:58,043 --> 01:20:00,592
there's something that I...
I want to tell you so much.

1967
01:20:00,671 --> 01:20:03,390
I just... I don't
know how to say...

1968
01:20:05,009 --> 01:20:06,101
What?

1969
01:20:07,219 --> 01:20:10,644
Ook maga do do, Pokee.

1970
01:20:10,889 --> 01:20:12,015
Oh, my God.

1971
01:20:12,099 --> 01:20:16,400
Ook maga do do blarda,
blarda, blarda.

1972
01:20:16,854 --> 01:20:20,734
Mama Pandoree bon Papa
Pandoree long bada-bada.

1973
01:20:21,483 --> 01:20:23,656
Bada-Bada, I know.

1974
01:20:23,902 --> 01:20:25,745
Pagogo Tu lray.

1975
01:20:25,821 --> 01:20:27,994
Nah ee Pokee Para mee.

1976
01:20:30,743 --> 01:20:32,586
But most important,

1977
01:20:33,412 --> 01:20:34,584
Bongi.

1978
01:20:35,914 --> 01:20:38,167
Bongi que Mahjongee.

1979
01:20:39,209 --> 01:20:41,758
Of course, I love those guys.

1980
01:20:41,837 --> 01:20:45,717
Bongi para rumpernickel
pumpernickel.

1981
01:20:46,175 --> 01:20:48,348
That's freaking beautiful.

1982
01:20:48,427 --> 01:20:50,475
It's just Just beautiful.

1983
01:20:50,763 --> 01:20:52,060
Para Kaya!

1984
01:20:54,099 --> 01:20:55,772
Ook maga do do.

1985
01:20:56,518 --> 01:20:59,692
Coodlee me, coodlee me.

1986
01:21:00,689 --> 01:21:05,160
I'm so happy, so happy...

1987
01:21:05,235 --> 01:21:06,487
Thank you.

1988
01:21:11,784 --> 01:21:13,457
So, what, are you,
like, his wife?

1989
01:21:13,869 --> 01:21:15,086
Is that Monica?

1990
01:21:15,454 --> 01:21:17,707
Yeah. Hi, I'm... I'm Erin.
Nice to meet you.

1991
01:21:18,499 --> 01:21:20,922
Well, I guess he settled
for second best.

1992
01:21:21,251 --> 01:21:24,846
Because I dumped his sorry
butt in high school.

1993
01:21:25,130 --> 01:21:27,132
Yes, I did.

1994
01:21:27,466 --> 01:21:28,513
Don't worry, Erin.

1995
01:21:28,592 --> 01:21:30,515
They used to call her
"The Cheese Tray"

1996
01:21:30,594 --> 01:21:32,722
'cause she got passed
around at all the parties.

1997
01:21:35,057 --> 01:21:36,149
Oh, we're getting busy.

1998
01:21:36,308 --> 01:21:37,560
I'm right here.

1999
01:21:38,435 --> 01:21:40,108
What are you doing?

2000
01:21:42,064 --> 01:21:43,862
What did I do?

2001
01:21:44,233 --> 01:21:45,735
Don't you touch
my sister-in-law.

2002
01:21:45,859 --> 01:21:47,577
Knock her out,
Jill, knock her out!

2003
01:21:48,904 --> 01:21:50,281
Oh, my God! You okay?

2004
01:21:52,324 --> 01:21:53,496
Oh!

2005
01:21:55,494 --> 01:21:56,837
Muleteers!

2006
01:21:58,539 --> 01:22:00,337
Prepare to do battle.

2007
01:22:01,875 --> 01:22:04,424
Oh, my God,
is that Colonel Sanders?

2008
01:22:05,129 --> 01:22:06,802
Al, what is this?

2009
01:22:06,880 --> 01:22:07,927
Why do you look like that?

2010
01:22:08,006 --> 01:22:09,974
He... He's doing
Man of La Mancha now,

2011
01:22:10,050 --> 01:22:11,597
so he always stays
in character.

2012
01:22:12,010 --> 01:22:13,102
Milady.

2013
01:22:13,178 --> 01:22:15,601
Al, I'm so sorry.

2014
01:22:15,681 --> 01:22:18,400
I thought I made it clear,
we're not meant to be.

2015
01:22:18,851 --> 01:22:20,353
Pokee, Klapa!

2016
01:22:21,562 --> 01:22:24,532
It's...
It's not you, it's me.

2017
01:22:24,731 --> 01:22:26,529
- Dulcinea.
- Yes?

2018
01:22:27,025 --> 01:22:30,905
Your purity befits a knight
more worthy than I.

2019
01:22:31,655 --> 01:22:32,998
Go to him.

2020
01:22:33,740 --> 01:22:34,912
He waits for you.

2021
01:22:36,743 --> 01:22:38,290
Pagogo, where's the knight?

2022
01:22:38,370 --> 01:22:40,293
You'll just have to see
Jill, come on.

2023
01:22:40,372 --> 01:22:42,090
There's a knight?
Oh, my God, there's a knight?

2024
01:22:42,166 --> 01:22:44,464
Yeah, yeah. There's a knight!
There's a knight!

2025
01:22:44,710 --> 01:22:48,340
Ah! It's a foul monster! Ah!

2026
01:22:49,006 --> 01:22:50,508
Al, that's a ceiling fan.

2027
01:22:50,591 --> 01:22:55,097
No, it's a whirling,
five-arm beast.

2028
01:22:56,221 --> 01:22:57,814
What is this?

2029
01:22:57,890 --> 01:22:59,767
What? Oh.

2030
01:23:03,312 --> 01:23:04,905
- She's going to show up.
- Wha... What the...

2031
01:23:05,230 --> 01:23:07,232
Felipe, what is this?

2032
01:23:07,733 --> 01:23:10,156
I don't understand.
What is going on here'?

2033
01:23:10,402 --> 01:23:13,030
What is happening? What...

2034
01:23:13,155 --> 01:23:15,374
Felipe, how did you do this?

2035
01:23:16,200 --> 01:23:17,918
- What? This is...
- Jill.

2036
01:23:17,993 --> 01:23:19,415
Hi, guys, hi.

2037
01:23:19,495 --> 01:23:21,247
What are you doing here?

2038
01:23:21,830 --> 01:23:23,423
Jill, before you left,

2039
01:23:25,083 --> 01:23:27,336
what I was trying to tell you,

2040
01:23:27,419 --> 01:23:30,263
while you were dropping
chimichanga bombs...

2041
01:23:30,464 --> 01:23:32,592
That was awful, I'm sorry.

2042
01:23:33,425 --> 01:23:35,519
Is that you make me feel like,

2043
01:23:35,594 --> 01:23:38,723
like I just climbed out of
the trunk of my cousin's car

2044
01:23:38,805 --> 01:23:42,901
after driving 1,100 miles
across the border.

2045
01:23:43,894 --> 01:23:44,941
Huh?

2046
01:23:45,270 --> 01:23:46,863
I'm kidding. I'm kidding.

2047
01:23:48,273 --> 01:23:50,696
I was going to say, "He's
ruining the mood," but... Yeah.

2048
01:23:51,652 --> 01:23:52,949
But not about you.

2049
01:23:54,321 --> 01:23:55,447
What?

2050
01:23:56,031 --> 01:23:57,408
I love you, Jill.

2051
01:23:57,491 --> 01:23:59,118
I... I love you.

2052
01:24:00,827 --> 01:24:02,795
- You love me?
- Yeah, I love you.

2053
01:24:02,871 --> 01:24:04,214
Somebody loves me.

2054
01:24:04,581 --> 01:24:06,003
I love you, Jill.

2055
01:24:06,083 --> 01:24:08,757
Will you convert
to Judaism for me?

2056
01:24:08,961 --> 01:24:10,133
What?

2057
01:24:10,212 --> 01:24:12,135
I'm kidding!
I'm kidding!

2058
01:24:12,422 --> 01:24:13,890
Oh, Felipe!

2059
01:24:13,966 --> 01:24:15,218
I love you, Jill.

2060
01:24:15,300 --> 01:24:16,980
All right, all right,
he said he loved you.

2061
01:24:17,052 --> 01:24:18,975
Don't kill him! Come on!

2062
01:24:19,054 --> 01:24:20,226
I love you.

2063
01:24:20,639 --> 01:24:22,312
What are you doing?

2064
01:24:23,308 --> 01:24:25,026
Jack, jump in here
and lay with me.

2065
01:24:25,143 --> 01:24:27,396
- Lay with me.
- Oh, just lay with Felipe.

2066
01:24:27,479 --> 01:24:28,776
Can't you do that'?

2067
01:24:29,106 --> 01:24:31,234
<i>Something's
brewing at D'in' D.</i>

2068
01:24:33,151 --> 01:24:34,323
WOW!

2069
01:24:34,403 --> 01:24:35,529
Al Pacino!

2070
01:24:35,612 --> 01:24:38,161
It's not Al any more,
it's Dunk.

2071
01:24:38,574 --> 01:24:39,951
Dunk Accino?

2072
01:24:40,033 --> 01:24:41,580
Don't mind if I do.

2073
01:24:41,660 --> 01:24:44,083
<i>♪ What's my name? ♪
♪ Dunkaccino ♪</i>

2074
01:24:44,162 --> 01:24:46,665
<i>♪ It's a whole new game ♪
♪ Dunkaccino ♪</i>

2075
01:24:46,748 --> 01:24:49,046
<i>♪ You want creamy goodness, ♪
♪ I'm your friend ♪</i>

2076
01:24:49,126 --> 01:24:51,220
<i>♪ Say hello ♪
♪ to my chocolate blend ♪</i>

2077
01:24:51,545 --> 01:24:53,593
<i>♪ Attica, hoo-wah, latte lite ♪</i>

2078
01:24:53,964 --> 01:24:55,932
<i>♪ This whole trial ♪
♪ is out of sight ♪</i>

2079
01:24:56,216 --> 01:24:58,435
<i>♪ They pulled me back in ♪
♪ with hazelnut, too ♪</i>

2080
01:24:58,760 --> 01:25:00,808
<i>♪ Caramel swirl... ♪
♪ I know it was you ♪</i>

2081
01:25:01,138 --> 01:25:03,482
<i>♪ Everyone wants my Dunkaccino ♪</i>

2082
01:25:03,557 --> 01:25:05,685
<i>♪ Can't get enough ♪
♪ of my Dunkaccino ♪</i>

2083
01:25:05,976 --> 01:25:08,274
<i>♪ Kids from seven ♪
♪ to seventeen-0 ♪</i>

2084
01:25:08,353 --> 01:25:10,606
<i>♪ Lining up for my Dunkaccino ♪</i>

2085
01:25:10,689 --> 01:25:12,942
<i>♪ What's my name? ♪
♪ Dunkaccino ♪</i>

2086
01:25:13,025 --> 01:25:15,403
<i>♪ A-Dunka-Dunka ♪
♪ Dunka-Dunka-Dunkaccino ♪</i>

2087
01:25:18,697 --> 01:25:19,914
And, boom, there you have it.

2088
01:25:19,990 --> 01:25:21,162
It's actually 32 seconds,

2089
01:25:21,241 --> 01:25:22,401
<i>so I got to lose two seconds.</i>

2090
01:25:22,409 --> 01:25:24,127
Maybe you can tell me what,
what part you would lose,

2091
01:25:24,202 --> 01:25:26,546
but I think we are
getting there.

2092
01:25:27,873 --> 01:25:29,045
Burn this.

2093
01:25:29,625 --> 01:25:30,717
I'm sorry?

2094
01:25:32,836 --> 01:25:36,932
This must never
be seen by anyone.

2095
01:25:37,299 --> 01:25:39,927
If you didn't like all those
close-ups, we can, we can...

2096
01:25:40,010 --> 01:25:41,136
This is not the final cut.

2097
01:25:41,219 --> 01:25:42,266
There's no doubt,
we can, we can...

2098
01:25:42,346 --> 01:25:43,723
All copies.

2099
01:25:45,849 --> 01:25:47,099
Destroy them.

2100
01:25:47,100 --> 01:25:48,693
- You want me to play it again?
- Has anybody seen this?

2101
01:25:48,769 --> 01:25:50,146
Nobody has seen this.

2102
01:25:50,228 --> 01:25:52,196
They have to be found
and talked to.

2103
01:25:52,272 --> 01:25:54,775
All right, to be honest,
I showed my wife.

2104
01:25:54,858 --> 01:25:57,236
- She couldn't believe...
- No good, no good.

2105
01:25:58,654 --> 01:26:00,782
So I used to be fatter,
and so what he would do...

2106
01:26:00,864 --> 01:26:02,616
Picture him way bigger, like...

2107
01:26:02,699 --> 01:26:04,997
So what would happen is we'd
get together on Thanksgiving.

2108
01:26:05,077 --> 01:26:06,557
He'd kind of gather
the family around,

2109
01:26:06,620 --> 01:26:08,918
and, and so I would have to go,

2110
01:26:09,456 --> 01:26:11,800
"This is me before
Ultra Slim Fast."

2111
01:26:11,875 --> 01:26:13,548
"And this is me now!"

2112
01:26:13,627 --> 01:26:14,867
And everybody
would laugh at him

2113
01:26:14,920 --> 01:26:16,241
and he'd go cry
in the other room.

2114
01:26:16,338 --> 01:26:18,511
I'm Larry, this is
my brother Dave.

2115
01:26:18,590 --> 01:26:21,764
We used to be triplets,
but he ate the other one.

2116
01:26:23,095 --> 01:26:24,438
Let me tell you, I don't,
I don't really like getting

2117
01:26:24,513 --> 01:26:25,685
into fights with him
because I really...

2118
01:26:25,764 --> 01:26:27,516
I don't like closing
my fist on him,

2119
01:26:27,599 --> 01:26:28,680
so when we get into fights,

2120
01:26:28,684 --> 01:26:30,186
we look like sissies
when we fight each other.

2121
01:26:30,268 --> 01:26:32,066
You know, 'cause I don't,
I don't really like...

2122
01:26:32,145 --> 01:26:33,863
It's kind of that...
The schoolyard fight

2123
01:26:33,939 --> 01:26:34,986
when you see two girls.

2124
01:26:42,906 --> 01:26:44,267
She's my baby girl,
she knows that.

2125
01:26:44,282 --> 01:26:45,875
We're like a husband-and-wife
relationship.

2126
01:26:45,951 --> 01:26:47,544
- We fight and then we come together.
- That's sick, okay?

2127
01:26:47,619 --> 01:26:49,087
- I mean, not in a sick way.
- You shouldn't say that

2128
01:26:49,162 --> 01:26:50,802
like that, that's sick.
Not in a sick way.

2129
01:26:51,289 --> 01:26:52,916
I don't like my brother.

2130
01:26:52,999 --> 01:26:55,752
I have a deep, intense
dislike for my brother.

2131
01:26:55,836 --> 01:26:56,883
He's a bad guy.

2132
01:26:57,295 --> 01:26:58,512
I know what the problem is.

2133
01:26:58,588 --> 01:27:01,057
He didn't say anything
about it, did he?

2134
01:27:01,133 --> 01:27:04,808
He don't like the mustache
'cause he can't grow one.

2135
01:27:05,303 --> 01:27:06,771
Well, usually, when we
celebrate a birthday,

2136
01:27:06,847 --> 01:27:08,087
usually it's more
than one cake.

2137
01:27:08,140 --> 01:27:09,107
- It's four cakes.
- It's usually four.

2138
01:27:09,182 --> 01:27:10,399
Yeah. It's usually four cakes.

2139
01:27:10,475 --> 01:27:12,694
There's right hand, left
hand, right hand, left hand.

2140
01:27:12,769 --> 01:27:14,237
Or one for me and one for him

2141
01:27:14,312 --> 01:27:15,393
and two for his girlfriend.

2142
01:27:15,439 --> 01:27:16,486
Yeah, yeah.

2143
01:27:16,648 --> 01:27:17,695
She was actually living in L.A.

2144
01:27:17,774 --> 01:27:20,072
And I was in Kentucky doing
the race at that moment.

2145
01:27:20,152 --> 01:27:21,404
- I was tired.
- Yeah.

2146
01:27:21,486 --> 01:27:22,578
'Cause I did not
train properly.

2147
01:27:22,654 --> 01:27:23,655
And I started feeling,
like, these pains

2148
01:27:23,739 --> 01:27:25,741
or something like that, and
it was, like, weird, so...

2149
01:27:25,824 --> 01:27:26,493
So, yeah.

2150
01:27:26,518 --> 01:27:29,193
I mean, that's my part
of, like, ESPN or ESP.

2151
01:27:29,244 --> 01:27:30,370
- Whatever it's called.
- It's ESP.

2152
01:27:30,454 --> 01:27:32,456
- Okay, whatever.
- ESPN is the network for sports.

2153
01:27:37,627 --> 01:27:39,004
You figure it out.

2154
01:27:39,296 --> 01:27:40,923
Well, you know,
I'm married, so...

2155
01:27:41,006 --> 01:27:42,098
Yeah, we don't
have girl issues.

2156
01:27:42,174 --> 01:27:43,300
Yeah, well, I...
Sometimes, though,

2157
01:27:43,383 --> 01:27:45,010
I do try to hook him up
with someone.

2158
01:27:45,093 --> 01:27:46,253
I mean, if they come up to me

2159
01:27:46,261 --> 01:27:48,605
and they're like, they like
me, I'm like, "Oh, sorry,"

2160
01:27:48,680 --> 01:27:50,933
and then I'm like, "Hey,
look at this guy, though."

2161
01:27:51,016 --> 01:27:54,486
And so, I mean, he's kind
of like the backup twin.

2162
01:27:54,561 --> 01:27:55,858
I don't care, I take it.

2163
01:27:56,104 --> 01:27:57,321
I said, "Look, dude,
I don't think I can..."

2164
01:27:57,397 --> 01:27:58,694
"I don't think
I can go on this date,"

2165
01:27:58,774 --> 01:28:00,902
"but I can't,
can't break the date."

2166
01:28:00,984 --> 01:28:03,078
"'Cause, you know,
it's got to happen,"

2167
01:28:03,153 --> 01:28:04,530
"it's got to happen tonight."

2168
01:28:04,613 --> 01:28:05,705
I said, "Well,
Rog, you know..."

2169
01:28:05,781 --> 01:28:06,828
You said... What'd you...
What'd you tell me?

2170
01:28:06,907 --> 01:28:08,627
"How does the girl look?
How does she look?"

2171
01:28:08,700 --> 01:28:10,077
I said, "Dude, she's
a 10, she's hot."

2172
01:28:10,160 --> 01:28:11,628
- "She's hot?"
- "She's hot."

2173
01:28:12,204 --> 01:28:13,376
I said, "Well,
you know, send me."

2174
01:28:13,455 --> 01:28:16,925
"I'll put, I'll put her on
ice for the night, you know."

2175
01:28:17,000 --> 01:28:19,253
"Send me out, I'll make sure
everything's good for you,"

2176
01:28:19,336 --> 01:28:21,338
"you know, and you'll be
good to go next week."

2177
01:28:21,421 --> 01:28:22,923
So I did.
He went out with the girl.

2178
01:28:23,006 --> 01:28:24,053
It was smooth, right?

2179
01:28:24,132 --> 01:28:26,009
She... I think she fell in love
with him on the first date.

2180
01:28:26,092 --> 01:28:28,345
What's funny is, my brother
ended up dating this girl

2181
01:28:28,428 --> 01:28:29,850
for, like, four...
What, like three and a half years?

2182
01:28:29,930 --> 01:28:30,977
Yeah, it was like
three and a half years.

2183
01:28:31,056 --> 01:28:33,730
She never knew we switched
on the very first date.

2184
01:28:33,809 --> 01:28:36,010
She said, "The best time of
my life was the first date."

2185
01:28:36,019 --> 01:28:38,272
- There you go.
- I was like, "Oh, come on."

2186
01:28:38,563 --> 01:28:40,986
Growing up with long
hair, full Afros.

2187
01:28:41,066 --> 01:28:43,990
Oh, yeah, fine,
with some platform shoes,

2188
01:28:44,069 --> 01:28:45,286
something you'd remember.

2189
01:28:45,362 --> 01:28:47,080
You stole my good pair.

2190
01:28:47,781 --> 01:28:50,580
All right, let's move,
let's move.

2191
01:28:50,909 --> 01:28:53,162
<i>♪ It's tricky, it's tricky ♪</i>

2192
01:28:53,245 --> 01:28:54,792
<i>♪ Tricky, tricky, tricky ♪</i>

2193
01:28:54,871 --> 01:28:56,373
<i>♪ It's tricky to rock a rhyme ♪</i>

2194
01:28:56,456 --> 01:28:58,458
<i>♪ To rock a rhyme ♪
♪ that's right on time ♪</i>

2195
01:28:58,542 --> 01:28:59,759
<i>♪ It's tricky ♪</i>

2196
01:28:59,835 --> 01:29:02,338
<i>♪ T-T-T-Tricky, tricky, tricky ♪</i>

2197
01:29:09,803 --> 01:29:11,350
<i>♪ It's tricky to rock a rhyme ♪</i>

2198
01:29:11,429 --> 01:29:13,557
<i>♪ To rock a rhyme ♪
♪ that's right on time ♪</i>

2199
01:29:13,640 --> 01:29:14,937
<i>♪ It's tricky, tricky, huh! I ♪</i>

2200
01:29:15,016 --> 01:29:16,233
Ah!

2201
01:29:16,935 --> 01:29:20,064
The best thing about being
twins is, when I fall,

2202
01:29:20,146 --> 01:29:23,366
when I feel sad, Elijah
just picks me right back up

2203
01:29:23,441 --> 01:29:25,660
and that's just helpful to me.

2204
01:29:26,820 --> 01:29:28,367
- Love my twin.
- Love my twin.

2205
01:29:30,991 --> 01:29:32,368
- Love you, sis.
- Love you.

2206
01:29:34,953 --> 01:29:37,172
I love us.

2207
01:29:40,208 --> 01:29:41,551
You smell.

2208
01:29:42,294 --> 01:29:44,535
I love this guy.
I can't imagine life without my brother.

2209
01:29:46,131 --> 01:29:48,259
- But we love each other.
- Yeah, but we love each other, right, okay.

2210
01:29:48,717 --> 01:29:49,969
You're my only friend.

2211
01:29:50,051 --> 01:29:52,099
That's so sad.

2212
01:29:52,846 --> 01:29:54,207
- It was cool, man.
- I love my brother

2213
01:29:54,264 --> 01:29:55,607
I love you, man.

2214
01:29:55,849 --> 01:29:57,977
No matter how bad he is, no
matter what he does wrong,

2215
01:29:58,059 --> 01:29:59,686
he's still my brother
and he's still number one.

2216
01:30:05,066 --> 01:30:06,238
Without a twin

2217
01:30:06,318 --> 01:30:07,365
<i>you're useless.</i>

2218
01:30:07,569 --> 01:30:08,912
- We're good to go. Triplets?
- No.

2219
01:30:08,987 --> 01:30:10,660
- No, nah.
- Nasty, ugly.

2220
01:30:10,739 --> 01:30:12,241
- Uh-uh, finite.
- Uh-uh.

2221
01:30:12,324 --> 01:30:13,576
- No, done.
- No, we're done.

2222
01:30:13,658 --> 01:30:14,659
- Twins.
- Yes.

2223
01:30:14,743 --> 01:30:16,086
- Keep 'em.
- Let's go.

2224
01:30:32,385 --> 01:30:34,353
I got to get this pin...