1
00:01:41,049 --> 00:01:43,767
MAN: Yo, not gonna lie.
2
00:01:43,769 --> 00:01:46,168
- This sound...
- (COMPUTER CHIMES)
3
00:01:46,170 --> 00:01:48,952
...gets me hard
as a fucking rock.
4
00:01:50,743 --> 00:01:54,486
But I don't like to go too fast
right off the bat.
5
00:01:54,488 --> 00:01:59,445
I'd rather work my way into it,
nice and easy.
6
00:01:59,447 --> 00:02:02,005
So I'll start off
with some stills.
7
00:02:04,246 --> 00:02:07,252
Then, once I'm getting into it,
8
00:02:07,254 --> 00:02:09,172
I start looking for a video.
9
00:02:11,221 --> 00:02:15,955
I never actually touch my cock
till I find the right clip.
10
00:02:15,957 --> 00:02:17,811
Then, once I do...
11
00:02:17,813 --> 00:02:20,306
...goodbye.
12
00:02:20,308 --> 00:02:23,955
For the next few minutes,
all the bullshit fades away,
13
00:02:23,956 --> 00:02:28,081
and the only thing in the world
is those tits...
14
00:02:28,083 --> 00:02:30,257
...that ass...
15
00:02:30,259 --> 00:02:32,306
...the blowjob, the cowboy,
16
00:02:32,308 --> 00:02:34,736
the doggy, the moneyshot,
and that's it.
17
00:02:34,738 --> 00:02:36,112
I don't gotta say anything,
18
00:02:36,114 --> 00:02:37,968
I don't gotta do anything.
19
00:02:37,970 --> 00:02:41,775
I just fucking lose myself.
20
00:02:44,177 --> 00:02:47,982
There's only a few things
I really care about in life.
21
00:02:49,359 --> 00:02:51,022
My body...
22
00:02:51,439 --> 00:02:52,942
...my pad...
23
00:02:53,390 --> 00:02:55,021
...my ride...
24
00:02:56,974 --> 00:02:58,733
...my family...
25
00:02:58,735 --> 00:02:59,853
Amen.
26
00:02:59,855 --> 00:03:01,740
...my church...
27
00:03:01,742 --> 00:03:03,852
- ...my boys...
- (ALL YELLING)
28
00:03:05,613 --> 00:03:08,107
...my girls...
29
00:03:08,781 --> 00:03:12,108
(WOMEN MOANING)
30
00:03:12,110 --> 00:03:14,379
...and my porn.
31
00:03:14,381 --> 00:03:17,450
I know that last one sounds
weird, but I'm just being honest.
32
00:03:17,452 --> 00:03:20,874
Nothing else does it for me the
same way. Not even real pussy.
33
00:03:20,876 --> 00:03:22,985
And, yo, I get plenty of that.
34
00:03:22,987 --> 00:03:25,129
Why you think my boys
call me The Don?
35
00:03:25,131 --> 00:03:27,497
- Jonny-Boy!
- Don Jon, what's good, baby?
36
00:03:27,499 --> 00:03:29,289
- What up? I'm all right.
- You good?
37
00:03:29,291 --> 00:03:31,368
Jonny, look at me.
Everything good with you?
38
00:03:31,370 --> 00:03:33,192
- What's the matter with this guy?
- Come here, you animal!
39
00:03:33,194 --> 00:03:37,287
- Get the fuck off of me!
- Real talk, real talk. Purple.
40
00:03:37,289 --> 00:03:39,783
- That's not bad.
- It's better than "not bad."
41
00:03:39,785 --> 00:03:41,831
- You ain't see her turn around.
- You calling her a seven?
42
00:03:41,833 --> 00:03:43,654
- An eight. At least an eight.
- That is not an eight.
43
00:03:43,656 --> 00:03:45,542
She's cute in the face,
you can maybe call the face
44
00:03:45,544 --> 00:03:47,719
- an eight, tits are a four.
- Yeah, but the butt, man,
45
00:03:47,720 --> 00:03:50,310
it's exceptional. I'm telling
you. It changes everything.
46
00:03:50,312 --> 00:03:51,845
- Shit!
- What?
47
00:03:51,847 --> 00:03:54,342
- Sequins. Don't look. Don't look.
- What? Who is that?
48
00:03:54,344 --> 00:03:56,484
- You don't remember her?
- She's coming over here.
49
00:03:56,486 --> 00:03:58,724
'Cause you're staring
right at her.
50
00:03:58,726 --> 00:04:01,508
- (HIP-HOP PLAYS)
- WOMAN: Look who the fuck it is.
51
00:04:01,510 --> 00:04:03,171
- How you doing?
- Why didn't you call me back?
52
00:04:03,173 --> 00:04:05,412
Come on. You're a grown woman.
53
00:04:05,414 --> 00:04:07,684
Did you think
I was gonna call you back?
54
00:04:07,686 --> 00:04:11,554
You're pathetic, you know that?
Every week you got a new bitch.
55
00:04:12,611 --> 00:04:15,619
Then why'd you
come home with me?
56
00:04:15,621 --> 00:04:17,282
Fuck you!
57
00:04:17,284 --> 00:04:19,458
- Eight.
- No, that might be a nine.
58
00:04:19,460 --> 00:04:21,601
- You shitting me? That's a seven.
- You're out of your mind!
59
00:04:21,603 --> 00:04:24,128
I gave you the eight,
your record's intact. Chill out.
60
00:04:24,130 --> 00:04:25,888
You heard what she said?
Everyone knows about the streak.
61
00:04:25,890 --> 00:04:27,808
- You're sick. You know that?
- I don't know
62
00:04:27,810 --> 00:04:29,024
- what's wrong with me.
- Oh, my... damn!
63
00:04:29,026 --> 00:04:31,168
- What? What? Where?
- Red.
64
00:04:31,169 --> 00:04:34,048
- Holy shit! That's a dime.
- That is a dime.
65
00:04:34,049 --> 00:04:35,872
Nah, she's hot,
but it's not a dime.
66
00:04:35,874 --> 00:04:37,023
I don't even mess
with blondes like that,
67
00:04:37,025 --> 00:04:38,590
but that there is a dime!
68
00:04:38,592 --> 00:04:40,415
- Fuck yeah.
- I don't know, there might be
69
00:04:40,416 --> 00:04:42,302
- some lasagna up in there.
- I don't think so.
70
00:04:42,304 --> 00:04:44,478
Definitely not. She keep her
shit tight, you can tell.
71
00:04:44,480 --> 00:04:46,717
- No. I don't know.
- See, he likes that skinny shit.
72
00:04:46,719 --> 00:04:49,981
He likes that skinny, high-fashion,
looks-like-a-boy shit.
73
00:04:49,983 --> 00:04:51,326
- Fuck you!
- Admit it!
74
00:04:51,327 --> 00:04:52,893
He's kind of right,
man, you do.
75
00:04:52,894 --> 00:04:55,036
I don't like more
than a handful of titty.
76
00:04:55,038 --> 00:04:59,131
No, no, no, no, no. No. A nice handful, I
love it, but more than that, it's like no!
77
00:04:59,133 --> 00:05:01,084
Shit starts to remind me
of my mom or something.
78
00:05:01,086 --> 00:05:03,867
- Jesus Christ.
- Your mom do got some big-ass titties.
79
00:05:03,869 --> 00:05:05,818
- Don't talk about my mother.
- You brought up your mother.
80
00:05:05,820 --> 00:05:08,411
If you don't like that, there's
something wrong with you.
81
00:05:08,413 --> 00:05:10,586
I didn't say I didn't like it.
I said it's not a dime.
82
00:05:10,588 --> 00:05:13,145
- That's incorrect.
- She's taller than you anyway.
83
00:05:13,147 --> 00:05:15,161
- Fuck you, Jonny.
- I'm playing, come on.
84
00:05:15,163 --> 00:05:18,362
You gonna get that?
85
00:05:18,364 --> 00:05:21,272
WOMAN: Let me get a
vodka-cranberry.
86
00:05:22,937 --> 00:05:24,888
- Jonny!
- Sammy-boy, how you doing?
87
00:05:24,890 --> 00:05:27,735
- You good?
- Let me get a Grey Goose and soda.
88
00:05:33,591 --> 00:05:38,134
(HIP-HOP PLAYS)
89
00:05:42,103 --> 00:05:44,597
- What makes you think you could do that?
- Do what?
90
00:05:44,599 --> 00:05:46,741
- Get the fuck out of here.
- You wanna go somewhere?
91
00:05:46,743 --> 00:05:48,532
- Fuck you.
- You wanna fuck me?
92
00:05:48,534 --> 00:05:50,389
- Is that why you kissed me?
- I didn't kiss you.
93
00:05:50,390 --> 00:05:52,917
Yeah, you did.
94
00:05:52,919 --> 00:05:54,707
- Stop it, I mean it. Stop it.
- (LAUGHS)
95
00:05:54,709 --> 00:05:57,331
Come on. Let me buy you a drink.
It's early.
96
00:05:57,333 --> 00:06:00,275
- Where you going?
- I told you where I was going.
97
00:06:00,277 --> 00:06:02,482
Come on! Wait a minute!
98
00:06:02,484 --> 00:06:03,827
Shit!
99
00:06:03,828 --> 00:06:07,602
(HIP-HOP PLAYS)
100
00:06:07,604 --> 00:06:09,842
Yo. Headband.
101
00:06:12,850 --> 00:06:14,673
Nah, I don't know.
102
00:06:23,440 --> 00:06:28,143
(HIP-HOP PLAYS)
103
00:06:33,199 --> 00:06:35,822
(WOMAN MOANING)
104
00:07:01,771 --> 00:07:03,402
(COMPUTER CHIMES)
105
00:07:03,404 --> 00:07:05,449
JON: See?
This is what I'm saying.
106
00:07:05,451 --> 00:07:08,233
Real pussy's all good.
But I'm sorry.
107
00:07:08,235 --> 00:07:10,953
It's not as good as porn.
108
00:07:10,955 --> 00:07:12,424
Tits?
109
00:07:14,793 --> 00:07:16,104
Great.
110
00:07:16,106 --> 00:07:17,768
Ass?
111
00:07:18,696 --> 00:07:19,912
Great.
112
00:07:19,913 --> 00:07:21,863
Blowjob?
113
00:07:21,865 --> 00:07:26,342
Sure, it's fucking fantastic
in person... if she'll do it.
114
00:07:26,344 --> 00:07:29,254
But in real life, if you wanna
get head, you gotta give head.
115
00:07:29,256 --> 00:07:31,590
Lower. Not that low!
116
00:07:31,592 --> 00:07:35,237
JON: I know, some guys love eating pussy,
but the thing about those guys is,
117
00:07:35,239 --> 00:07:38,085
they're fucking crazy.
Don't get me wrong,
118
00:07:38,087 --> 00:07:40,420
I like a good
pussy-eating clip.
119
00:07:40,422 --> 00:07:44,548
But, from down here, there's
nothing good about this.
120
00:07:44,550 --> 00:07:45,796
(MOANING)
121
00:07:45,798 --> 00:07:48,099
JON: And if she does finally
122
00:07:48,101 --> 00:07:51,459
decide to do you
the big favor...
123
00:07:53,187 --> 00:07:55,330
...she's in a fucking hurry.
124
00:07:55,332 --> 00:07:59,618
Now, when it comes
to the actual fucking...
125
00:07:59,620 --> 00:08:02,913
First of all, condoms are
terrible. They just are.
126
00:08:02,915 --> 00:08:05,953
But you gotta wear one, 'cause,
unlike porn,
127
00:08:05,955 --> 00:08:08,032
- real pussy can kill you.
- (WOMAN MOANS)
128
00:08:08,034 --> 00:08:12,096
Second of all, missionary
is the worst position
129
00:08:12,098 --> 00:08:13,664
in all of fucking.
130
00:08:13,666 --> 00:08:16,735
The tits lie flat,
you can't see her ass,
131
00:08:16,737 --> 00:08:20,063
you can't touch her ass,
'cause she's lying on her back.
132
00:08:20,065 --> 00:08:23,614
They won't let you do it from behind,
'cause they wanna look at you.
133
00:08:23,616 --> 00:08:26,398
And basically it's on me
to do all the work.
134
00:08:26,400 --> 00:08:29,949
Moneyshot? No. There is no
real-life moneyshot.
135
00:08:29,951 --> 00:08:33,501
Real girls won't do that shit. You just
gotta cum into the fucking condom.
136
00:08:33,503 --> 00:08:38,428
(MOANING, PANTING)
137
00:08:39,805 --> 00:08:43,227
JON: So, you tell me,
which looks better?
138
00:08:43,229 --> 00:08:45,115
This?
139
00:08:47,260 --> 00:08:51,834
- Or this?
- (WOMAN MOANING)
140
00:09:24,566 --> 00:09:27,413
(ENGINE REVVING)
141
00:09:32,757 --> 00:09:36,500
Jesus! What are you fucking retarded?!
You're fucking retarded!
142
00:09:36,502 --> 00:09:41,363
You're a retarded person and
you're driving a fucking car!
143
00:09:41,365 --> 00:09:45,458
(CHURCH BELL CHIMING)
144
00:09:56,402 --> 00:09:59,184
(ORGAN PLAYS SOMBER MELODY)
145
00:10:02,449 --> 00:10:05,072
JON: In the name of the Father, the
Son and the Holy Spirit. Amen.
146
00:10:05,074 --> 00:10:06,703
PRIEST: Amen.
Bless you, my son.
147
00:10:06,705 --> 00:10:08,559
Forgive me, Father, for
I have sinned.
148
00:10:08,561 --> 00:10:09,935
It has been one week
since my last confession.
149
00:10:09,937 --> 00:10:11,471
PRIEST: Tell me your sins.
150
00:10:11,473 --> 00:10:13,038
Since last Sunday,
I had sexual relations
151
00:10:13,040 --> 00:10:15,342
out of wedlock two times.
I also watched
152
00:10:15,344 --> 00:10:17,838
pornographic videos
and masturbated 17 times.
153
00:10:17,840 --> 00:10:20,173
For these and all the sins
of my life, I am sorry.
154
00:10:20,175 --> 00:10:22,669
- Ten Lord's Prayers and ten Hail Marys.
- Thank you, Father.
155
00:10:22,671 --> 00:10:25,389
PRIEST: Through the ministry of the Church,
may God give you pardon and peace,
156
00:10:25,391 --> 00:10:28,780
and I absolve you from your sins in the name
of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.
157
00:10:28,782 --> 00:10:29,964
Amen.
158
00:10:29,966 --> 00:10:32,044
Bullshit! Bullshit!
Did you see that?
159
00:10:32,045 --> 00:10:33,706
That was fucking bullshit.
Bad call.
160
00:10:33,708 --> 00:10:36,459
- Jesus fucking Christ!
- Jon!
161
00:10:36,461 --> 00:10:39,818
- Fucking bullshit. Did you see that?
- I didn't see. What happened?
162
00:10:39,820 --> 00:10:41,706
They'll do a replay.
They better do a fucking replay.
163
00:10:41,708 --> 00:10:44,265
Unless they just don't want us to
see how bad that fucking call was.
164
00:10:44,267 --> 00:10:46,218
Why don't you get the thing
where you can pause...
165
00:10:46,220 --> 00:10:48,265
- Assholes, where's the replay?!
- Dad, there's a thing you can pause
166
00:10:48,267 --> 00:10:49,993
- and rewind.
- What are you talking about?
167
00:10:49,995 --> 00:10:51,849
It's digital.
You just rewind and watch it.
168
00:10:51,850 --> 00:10:54,280
- I'm not taping this.
- I know you're not taping it.
169
00:10:54,282 --> 00:10:56,072
Are you people serious,
no fucking replay?!
170
00:10:56,074 --> 00:10:58,600
- I'm not talking about a VCR.
- How do I know what the fuck
171
00:10:58,602 --> 00:11:00,616
- you're talking about?
- I don't know, I guess 'cause
172
00:11:00,618 --> 00:11:02,439
most American people
have heard of TiVo.
173
00:11:02,441 --> 00:11:04,711
Most people that pay attention
to the world around them!
174
00:11:04,713 --> 00:11:06,663
Here it is.
Shut up already, finally. Shit!
175
00:11:06,665 --> 00:11:09,158
- You seriously never heard of that?
- Yes!
176
00:11:09,160 --> 00:11:10,662
I've heard of it,
Jesus fucking...
177
00:11:10,664 --> 00:11:14,822
There! Look, his foot's on the
line! Look at that bullshit!
178
00:11:14,824 --> 00:11:16,997
- WOMAN: Jon! All right already!
- So if you've heard of it,
179
00:11:16,999 --> 00:11:18,597
- what is it?
- Did you see that?
180
00:11:18,599 --> 00:11:19,813
I'm asking you a question.
181
00:11:19,815 --> 00:11:20,965
It's a fucking thing...
182
00:11:20,967 --> 00:11:22,692
Wait a minute.
Did you see that?
183
00:11:22,694 --> 00:11:23,748
I'm asking you. Did you?
184
00:11:23,750 --> 00:11:25,764
Nah, I didn't see it.
185
00:11:25,766 --> 00:11:27,588
Why not?! What the fuck's
the matter with you?
186
00:11:27,590 --> 00:11:31,298
I said look at this play,
I said it right to you!
187
00:11:31,300 --> 00:11:34,051
I ask you to do the easiest fucking
thing, and you can't do it!
188
00:11:34,053 --> 00:11:36,962
- At least I know what a TiVo is.
- I know what a fucking TiVo is!
189
00:11:36,963 --> 00:11:38,466
You want a TiVo?
Is that what you're saying?
190
00:11:38,468 --> 00:11:40,706
- I would love a fucking TiVo.
- Who do you love?
191
00:11:40,708 --> 00:11:44,769
He loves TiVo. He sure as shit
don't love football. We know that.
192
00:11:47,074 --> 00:11:49,377
(SIGHS)
193
00:11:52,545 --> 00:11:56,607
One of these days, I'm gonna sit down here
and start eating, and you're gonna say,
194
00:11:56,609 --> 00:11:58,495
- "Mom, I found her."
- JON: Ma!
195
00:11:58,497 --> 00:11:59,999
MOTHER: One of these days.
196
00:12:00,000 --> 00:12:02,239
(TECHNO MUSIC PLAYING)
197
00:12:04,894 --> 00:12:09,822
(WHISPERING) Holy Mary...
Mother of God...
198
00:12:09,824 --> 00:12:11,964
...pray for us now...
199
00:12:11,966 --> 00:12:14,269
...and at the hour of death...
200
00:12:14,686 --> 00:12:16,573
Amen.
201
00:12:22,237 --> 00:12:24,412
Hail Mary... full of grace...
202
00:12:24,414 --> 00:12:27,963
(COMPUTER CHIMES)
JON: All right, I'll admit, there are some down sides.
203
00:12:27,965 --> 00:12:31,642
Like there's the times you find
a great clip, with a hot chick.
204
00:12:31,644 --> 00:12:35,865
And right when you're starting
to cum, it shows the guy.
205
00:12:35,867 --> 00:12:38,873
(GRUNTING)
206
00:12:38,875 --> 00:12:40,408
Fuck! Goddamn it!
207
00:12:40,410 --> 00:12:42,361
JON: It's no one's
fault, really,
208
00:12:42,363 --> 00:12:45,432
but it still sucks. So...
209
00:12:45,434 --> 00:12:47,512
- (COMPUTER CHIMES)
- Also, nowadays you got so much
210
00:12:47,514 --> 00:12:49,784
to choose from,
finding just the right clip
211
00:12:49,786 --> 00:12:51,960
can take a lot of time.
212
00:12:51,962 --> 00:12:53,750
And my time is precious to me.
213
00:12:53,752 --> 00:12:57,975
Yeah, I got shit to do. So...
214
00:12:57,977 --> 00:13:00,406
- (COMPUTER CHIMES)
- And, every once in a while,
215
00:13:00,408 --> 00:13:04,470
you find a clip that's so good,
it's fucking depressing.
216
00:13:04,472 --> 00:13:07,349
And you're thinking to yourself,
why can't real pussy be like this?
217
00:13:07,351 --> 00:13:10,453
You know, I smash new girls
all the fucking time,
218
00:13:10,455 --> 00:13:14,100
always an eight or better, and it's still
never this good. What am I doing wrong?
219
00:13:14,102 --> 00:13:16,052
(SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE)
220
00:13:16,054 --> 00:13:20,787
JON: Maybe it's time to try
something new. So...
221
00:13:22,803 --> 00:13:26,771
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
222
00:13:28,627 --> 00:13:31,474
- Yo, you remember that dime from last week?
- Oh, shit.
223
00:13:31,476 --> 00:13:34,130
The blonde in the dress? She
was insane, bro. You hit that?
224
00:13:34,132 --> 00:13:36,785
No, I didn't, you fucking alcoholic,
I saw you after she left.
225
00:13:36,787 --> 00:13:38,993
- Fuck you, Jonny!
- I thought you made that happen.
226
00:13:38,995 --> 00:13:41,073
- I threw it to this other random.
- Typical.
227
00:13:41,075 --> 00:13:42,864
- Probably an eight or nine.
- Six or seven.
228
00:13:42,865 --> 00:13:45,008
Shut the fuck up!
Who'd you take home, huh?
229
00:13:45,010 --> 00:13:47,632
Twos and threes, baby. I'm
telling you, twos and threes
230
00:13:47,634 --> 00:13:49,295
are some open-minded ladies.
231
00:13:49,297 --> 00:13:51,887
- I wanna find that girl.
- You get her name?
232
00:13:51,889 --> 00:13:54,703
- Her name?
- First and last name.
233
00:13:54,705 --> 00:13:57,326
I'm looking for her name,
first and last name.
234
00:13:57,328 --> 00:13:59,783
Shit, I don't know.
You know who would?
235
00:14:01,487 --> 00:14:04,845
- Barbara Sugarman.
- Sugarman?
236
00:14:04,847 --> 00:14:06,221
Thanks, bro.
237
00:14:06,223 --> 00:14:08,941
- OK, what was it again?
- Barbara Sugarman.
238
00:14:10,925 --> 00:14:13,644
- You see her anywhere?
- No.
239
00:14:14,892 --> 00:14:16,746
- Oh, shit!
- That's her?
240
00:14:16,748 --> 00:14:19,563
- That's definitely her.
- Oh! Got you, bitch!
241
00:14:19,565 --> 00:14:21,483
What you wanna say?
You gotta say something.
242
00:14:21,485 --> 00:14:24,170
- Really?
- A girl that bad gets mad friend requests.
243
00:14:24,172 --> 00:14:28,106
- Fuck!
- I think it's dinner. Maybe even lunch.
244
00:14:28,108 --> 00:14:30,281
Might have to take this girl
out for coffee.
245
00:14:30,283 --> 00:14:32,201
- Christ!
- Yeah, this is the long game.
246
00:14:32,203 --> 00:14:33,897
You're not getting that butt
from Barbara Sugarman
247
00:14:33,899 --> 00:14:35,785
anytime in
the immediate future.
248
00:14:35,787 --> 00:14:37,352
If you had it like that,
it would have went down.
249
00:14:37,354 --> 00:14:39,816
You're right.
You're totally right. Shit!
250
00:14:39,818 --> 00:14:43,208
I know, I was about to say, the mighty
Don bringing out the long game?
251
00:14:43,210 --> 00:14:45,383
- She's a dime, but...
- This girl's more than a dime.
252
00:14:45,385 --> 00:14:48,807
Come on, son. There's no such thing, that's
the point, it's a scale from one to ten.
253
00:14:48,809 --> 00:14:50,853
- I'm saying, this girl...
- Oh, my God!
254
00:14:50,855 --> 00:14:55,110
- You in love with this girl already?
- Go fuck yourself.
255
00:14:59,845 --> 00:15:01,764
- Hi.
- Can I help you?
256
00:15:01,766 --> 00:15:05,411
- Yeah, two for lunch.
- Sure. Right this way.
257
00:15:12,483 --> 00:15:16,835
(ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYS)
258
00:15:41,600 --> 00:15:42,751
Hey.
259
00:15:43,936 --> 00:15:46,111
- How are you?
- Good. Good. How you been?
260
00:15:46,113 --> 00:15:49,501
- How did you get my Facebook?
- Oh. Getting right to it.
261
00:15:49,503 --> 00:15:51,325
- Yeah.
- I just looked up your name.
262
00:15:51,327 --> 00:15:53,245
- I didn't tell you my name.
- Obviously you did,
263
00:15:53,247 --> 00:15:55,293
- 'cause I looked it up.
- No, I definitely did not
264
00:15:55,295 --> 00:15:56,988
- tell you my name.
- Yeah, you did.
265
00:15:56,990 --> 00:15:58,621
- I think I would remember.
- No offense,
266
00:15:58,623 --> 00:16:00,220
but you were pretty wasted
the other night.
267
00:16:00,222 --> 00:16:01,916
- So was I.
- Can I get you some drinks?
268
00:16:01,918 --> 00:16:03,355
- Diet Coke, please.
- A Coke.
269
00:16:03,357 --> 00:16:04,763
Coke and a Diet Coke.
270
00:16:04,765 --> 00:16:07,675
I'll be right
back to take your order.
271
00:16:07,677 --> 00:16:09,435
I had a few drinks
the other night,
272
00:16:09,437 --> 00:16:11,834
so I may not have remembered
telling you my first name,
273
00:16:11,836 --> 00:16:13,787
but I definitely did not
tell you my last name.
274
00:16:13,789 --> 00:16:15,898
- I'm telling you... Hey!
- Don't lie to me.
275
00:16:15,900 --> 00:16:18,553
Look, you don't know me, so I'm gonna
let you off the hook this time.
276
00:16:18,555 --> 00:16:22,392
But trust me, in the future you'll be much
happier if you always tell me the truth.
277
00:16:22,394 --> 00:16:24,249
Wait, wait, wait,
I'll be happier?
278
00:16:24,251 --> 00:16:27,417
You don't think I could
make you happy if I wanted to?
279
00:16:27,419 --> 00:16:30,648
So how did you
find out my name?
280
00:16:30,650 --> 00:16:32,728
- I asked around.
- You asked around about me?
281
00:16:32,730 --> 00:16:35,542
- Yeah.
- That's interesting.
282
00:16:35,544 --> 00:16:37,431
- Why?
- Why? What do you mean why?
283
00:16:37,433 --> 00:16:39,511
- Why did you ask around about me?
- 'Cause I wanted to.
284
00:16:39,513 --> 00:16:41,463
- You wanted to take me to lunch?
- Yeah.
285
00:16:41,465 --> 00:16:44,117
- Don't lie.
- OK, I asked around about you
286
00:16:44,119 --> 00:16:46,230
'cause I wanna fuck your brains out.
Is that what you want me to say?
287
00:16:46,232 --> 00:16:49,909
(CHUCKLES) Well, at least
you're being honest now.
288
00:16:49,911 --> 00:16:51,348
Let me ask you a question.
289
00:16:51,350 --> 00:16:54,645
Why did you come here, huh?
Why did you say yes to me?
290
00:16:54,646 --> 00:16:56,595
- That's a very good question.
- Yeah, so?
291
00:16:56,597 --> 00:16:58,132
You're gonna have
to wait to find out.
292
00:16:58,134 --> 00:17:00,660
- All right. I got time.
- Really? You got time?
293
00:17:00,662 --> 00:17:02,803
It seemed like you were
in a big hurry the other day.
294
00:17:02,805 --> 00:17:04,563
I can be that way
when I'm shit-faced.
295
00:17:07,251 --> 00:17:08,435
You're cute, I like you.
296
00:17:08,436 --> 00:17:11,538
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.
297
00:17:11,540 --> 00:17:14,033
Listen, you wanna
know the truth?
298
00:17:14,035 --> 00:17:16,849
This is the truth.
299
00:17:16,851 --> 00:17:19,888
You're the most beautiful thing
I've ever seen in my life.
300
00:17:24,657 --> 00:17:26,736
You like movies?
301
00:17:28,657 --> 00:17:32,303
JON: I don't watch
too many movies.
302
00:17:32,305 --> 00:17:37,166
I used to watch 'em a lot when I was a little
kid, before I could get my hands on any porn.
303
00:17:37,168 --> 00:17:41,069
Back then, if I wanted to see a really hot
girl, my best bet was to watch a movie.
304
00:17:41,071 --> 00:17:43,150
- That's the one you like?
- Oh, it's so great.
305
00:17:43,152 --> 00:17:45,223
- I love these two. And you?
- Yeah. They're great.
306
00:17:49,837 --> 00:17:53,708
JON: But now, I don't
really see the point.
307
00:17:57,420 --> 00:18:00,202
I don't know, I guess
I'm missing something.
308
00:18:00,204 --> 00:18:04,171
Because most people
eat that shit up.
309
00:18:05,675 --> 00:18:07,529
(ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYING)
310
00:18:07,531 --> 00:18:09,418
The pretty woman.
311
00:18:09,866 --> 00:18:11,690
The pretty man.
312
00:18:11,691 --> 00:18:13,448
Love at first sight.
313
00:18:14,409 --> 00:18:16,360
The first kiss.
314
00:18:16,362 --> 00:18:18,121
- The breakup.
- WOMAN ONSCREEN: I felt that!
315
00:18:18,123 --> 00:18:20,263
- JON: The makeup.
- MAN ONSCREEN: I'm scared.
316
00:18:20,265 --> 00:18:21,640
JON: The expensive wedding,
317
00:18:21,641 --> 00:18:23,560
and they drive off
into the sunset.
318
00:18:23,561 --> 00:18:25,448
Everyone knows it's fake,
but they watch it
319
00:18:25,450 --> 00:18:27,975
like it's real fucking life.
320
00:18:27,977 --> 00:18:31,847
(MUSIC SWELLS)
321
00:18:31,848 --> 00:18:35,494
She was the most important thing to him.
He gave up everything for her.
322
00:18:35,496 --> 00:18:37,670
It was just meant to be.
323
00:18:37,672 --> 00:18:40,676
- I love movies like that.
- Yeah, it was great.
324
00:18:40,678 --> 00:18:45,156
He's just such a real man. And
she's so beautiful too, always.
325
00:18:45,158 --> 00:18:47,876
- Her? No, she's too skinny.
- Yeah.
326
00:18:47,878 --> 00:18:50,756
- What?
- You wanna know who's beautiful?
327
00:18:50,758 --> 00:18:53,988
(ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYS)
328
00:18:55,971 --> 00:18:59,618
(FIREWORKS WHISTLING,
POPPING IN DISTANCE)
329
00:19:08,098 --> 00:19:12,225
- What makes you think you could do that?
- Do what?
330
00:19:19,104 --> 00:19:21,439
(MUSIC SWELLS)
331
00:19:35,263 --> 00:19:38,716
(CHURCH BELLS CHIMING)
332
00:19:43,901 --> 00:19:46,747
- (ORGAN PLAYS SOMBER MELODY)
- JON: In the name of the Father, the Son
333
00:19:46,749 --> 00:19:48,667
- and the Holy Spirit, Amen.
- PRIEST: Amen. Bless you.
334
00:19:48,669 --> 00:19:51,354
JON: Forgive me, Father,
for I have sinned.
335
00:19:51,356 --> 00:19:53,626
- It has been one week since my last confession.
PRIEST: Tell me your sins.
336
00:19:53,628 --> 00:19:58,138
Since last Sunday I did not have
sexual relations out of wedlock.
337
00:19:58,139 --> 00:20:02,746
I did kiss a girl, this one girl,
out of wedlock, several times,
338
00:20:02,748 --> 00:20:07,928
but it's just kissing. I don't know,
I forget if that counts, so...
339
00:20:07,930 --> 00:20:10,840
Also, I watched pornographic
videos and masturbated 22 times.
340
00:20:10,842 --> 00:20:13,271
For these and all the sins
of my life, I am sorry.
341
00:20:13,273 --> 00:20:15,767
- Ten Lord's Prayers and ten Hail Marys.
- Thank you, Father.
342
00:20:15,769 --> 00:20:18,518
PRIEST: Through the ministry of the Church,
may God give you pardon and peace,
343
00:20:18,520 --> 00:20:21,206
and I absolve you from your sins in
the name of the Father, of the Son
344
00:20:21,208 --> 00:20:23,190
- and the Holy Spirit.
- Amen.
345
00:20:23,192 --> 00:20:24,215
(JAZZY, SULTRY SONG PLAYING)
346
00:20:24,217 --> 00:20:25,845
♪ I got a fever
347
00:20:25,847 --> 00:20:27,317
♪ An inflammation
348
00:20:27,319 --> 00:20:30,133
♪ That's what I got
349
00:20:30,135 --> 00:20:32,916
♪ You turn the heat on me
350
00:20:32,918 --> 00:20:36,308
♪ Some like it hot
351
00:20:37,525 --> 00:20:39,476
♪ Call out the engine
352
00:20:39,478 --> 00:20:41,588
♪ Ring up the station
353
00:20:41,589 --> 00:20:44,884
♪ I am on the spot...
354
00:20:44,886 --> 00:20:49,683
NARRATOR ON TV: Introducing the
charbroiled, not fried, codfish sandwich,
355
00:20:49,685 --> 00:20:52,210
only at Carl's Jr.
And Hardee's.
356
00:20:53,586 --> 00:20:56,785
♪ Love burns you up the most ♪
357
00:20:56,787 --> 00:21:00,624
- ♪ Like it or not
NARRATOR: More than just a piece of meat.
358
00:21:00,626 --> 00:21:01,106
♪ Baby
359
00:21:04,690 --> 00:21:07,215
♪ I like it hot
360
00:21:09,200 --> 00:21:12,304
(ENGINE REVVING)
361
00:21:12,305 --> 00:21:16,590
Oh, go! Jesus.
It's a yellow light! Fuck you!
362
00:21:16,592 --> 00:21:18,575
(CAR RADIO PLAYING INDISTINCTLY)
363
00:21:18,577 --> 00:21:21,069
(TECHNO MUSIC PLAYING)
364
00:21:24,494 --> 00:21:27,629
(WHISPERING) Our Father...
Who art in heaven...
365
00:21:27,631 --> 00:21:30,604
...hallowed be Thy name...
Thy Kingdom come...
366
00:21:30,606 --> 00:21:32,269
...Thy will be done...
367
00:21:32,271 --> 00:21:35,179
...on earth...
as it is in heaven...
368
00:21:35,181 --> 00:21:38,059
(MOANING)
369
00:21:39,276 --> 00:21:41,163
- No.
- No... What?
370
00:21:41,165 --> 00:21:43,498
- Not out here.
- So let's go inside.
371
00:21:43,500 --> 00:21:44,778
Mm-mm.
372
00:21:44,780 --> 00:21:46,602
- Why not?
- It's not time for that yet.
373
00:21:46,604 --> 00:21:49,386
- You sure?
- Yeah. We barely know each other.
374
00:21:49,387 --> 00:21:54,281
- Yeah, we do, pretty much.
- (BOTH MOANING)
375
00:21:54,283 --> 00:21:57,416
- I don't know your friends.
- My friends?
376
00:21:57,418 --> 00:21:59,145
Mmm...
377
00:21:59,147 --> 00:22:02,216
- I wanna meet your friends.
- Those guys are assholes.
378
00:22:02,218 --> 00:22:03,879
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
379
00:22:03,881 --> 00:22:07,079
And you don't know my friends.
380
00:22:07,081 --> 00:22:09,990
- Or our families.
- Wait, our families?
381
00:22:09,992 --> 00:22:13,510
Yeah. I wanna meet
your parents and your sister.
382
00:22:13,512 --> 00:22:16,167
- Oh, Jesus!
- What? You don't wanna meet my brothers
383
00:22:16,169 --> 00:22:20,133
- and my sister?
- Uh...
384
00:22:20,135 --> 00:22:25,028
- 'Cause I know they wanna meet you.
- Yeah... I bet they do.
385
00:22:25,030 --> 00:22:27,108
BARBARA: Mmm... (CHUCKLES)
386
00:22:29,829 --> 00:22:34,019
- (JON MOANS)
- Mm-hm.
387
00:22:34,021 --> 00:22:35,331
- Jon.
- Yeah?
388
00:22:35,333 --> 00:22:36,676
I can't let you
389
00:22:36,677 --> 00:22:38,882
- come inside just yet.
- No?
390
00:22:38,884 --> 00:22:42,402
No, 'cause I don't know what
that would mean. You know?
391
00:22:42,404 --> 00:22:45,345
I don't want to do anything
unless it means something.
392
00:22:45,347 --> 00:22:47,969
- Uh-huh...
- Mm...
393
00:22:47,971 --> 00:22:50,370
Don't you think it's always
better when it means something?
394
00:22:50,372 --> 00:22:52,192
- Yeah.
- Mm...
395
00:22:52,194 --> 00:22:55,744
- I think you should go back to school, baby.
- What?
396
00:22:55,746 --> 00:23:00,447
- Yeah, come on. Just a night class.
- Oh, my God!
397
00:23:00,449 --> 00:23:02,463
- Just get your degree.
- Oh!
398
00:23:02,465 --> 00:23:05,598
- You would be so sexy with a real job.
- Mm!
399
00:23:05,600 --> 00:23:08,510
- Mm-hm! Yeah...
- (GRUNTS)
400
00:23:08,512 --> 00:23:12,030
So, what do you say? You, me and
our friends, we go out sometime?
401
00:23:12,032 --> 00:23:15,709
- Oh, yeah. Yeah.
- Yeah? And our families meet, huh?
402
00:23:15,711 --> 00:23:16,605
- Oh!
- Yeah?
403
00:23:16,607 --> 00:23:18,173
- Yeah.
- Mm...
404
00:23:18,175 --> 00:23:21,052
And you take one night class for me, baby?
One little class?
405
00:23:21,054 --> 00:23:23,452
- Oh! Oh!
- Huh? Yeah? Yeah?
406
00:23:23,454 --> 00:23:26,844
- Yeah! Oh!
- Come on, baby, cum... cum...
407
00:23:26,845 --> 00:23:31,099
- (GRUNTING)
- Mm-hm! Uh-huh.
408
00:23:31,101 --> 00:23:34,426
(PANTING, GRUNTING)
409
00:23:34,428 --> 00:23:37,114
- Nice.
- Oh, Jesus...
410
00:23:37,116 --> 00:23:38,971
Yeah.
411
00:23:45,914 --> 00:23:48,408
You're so cute.
412
00:23:54,296 --> 00:23:56,183
Call me.
413
00:24:10,038 --> 00:24:12,341
(COMPUTER CHIMES)
414
00:24:29,171 --> 00:24:31,506
- Baby!
- Baby, what?
415
00:24:31,508 --> 00:24:33,010
- Baby.
- Baby...
416
00:24:33,012 --> 00:24:34,834
- You guys having a good time?
- You bitch,
417
00:24:34,836 --> 00:24:35,921
- I don't wanna hear it.
- Jesus Christ.
418
00:24:35,923 --> 00:24:37,425
A toast. Let's make a toast.
419
00:24:37,427 --> 00:24:38,769
Everyone listen up.
You get up too.
420
00:24:38,771 --> 00:24:40,337
This is for you.
Come on. Get up.
421
00:24:40,339 --> 00:24:42,001
- Oh, God.
- All right.
422
00:24:42,003 --> 00:24:44,272
You guys know tonight
is me and this girl's
423
00:24:44,274 --> 00:24:47,440
one-month anniversary. I'm
counting that from the first time
424
00:24:47,442 --> 00:24:50,191
I ever saw her, 'cause ever since
then, I've felt the same way.
425
00:24:50,193 --> 00:24:53,007
She's the most beautiful thing
I've ever seen in my life.
426
00:24:53,009 --> 00:24:54,799
- To you, baby.
- No, to us.
427
00:24:54,801 --> 00:24:56,591
- To us.
- (GLASSES CLINK)
428
00:24:56,593 --> 00:24:58,958
- Mwah. Cheers.
- ALL: Cheers!
429
00:24:58,960 --> 00:25:01,646
God bless.
430
00:25:01,648 --> 00:25:04,205
- So, what's he do?
- He's in school.
431
00:25:04,207 --> 00:25:06,285
- Oh, the family's got money?
- No, he's got a job.
432
00:25:06,287 --> 00:25:07,565
- Retail?
- No.
433
00:25:07,567 --> 00:25:08,877
- Service?
- Yeah.
434
00:25:08,879 --> 00:25:10,317
He's definitely been
435
00:25:10,319 --> 00:25:12,140
- spending time at the gym.
- Right? I know.
436
00:25:12,142 --> 00:25:14,028
- He is so disciplined.
- You guys work out together?
437
00:25:14,030 --> 00:25:17,196
- Mm-mm. No.
- Does he do that muscle guy thing
438
00:25:17,198 --> 00:25:20,075
where he's, like, looking at
himself while you're doing it?
439
00:25:20,077 --> 00:25:23,531
- Oh. We haven't done it yet.
- Shit, really?
440
00:25:23,533 --> 00:25:27,498
- Oh, my God. That's so amazing!
- All right. I like him.
441
00:25:27,500 --> 00:25:29,738
Goddamn! White shorts.
442
00:25:29,740 --> 00:25:33,449
(HIP-HOP PLAYS)
443
00:25:33,450 --> 00:25:35,785
- JON: Nah.
- What? Come on, that's a dime!
444
00:25:35,787 --> 00:25:38,153
- That's not a dime.
- I'm sorry, but I'd rather do that
445
00:25:38,155 --> 00:25:40,840
- than do yours.
- You faggot motherfucker!
446
00:25:40,842 --> 00:25:43,848
- I can like any girl I wanna.
- But she's not hotter than my girl.
447
00:25:43,850 --> 00:25:46,759
- To you, maybe not, but to me...
- Look at that. Sorry, buddy.
448
00:25:46,761 --> 00:25:50,247
- Fuck you, Jonny!
- That's the way...
449
00:25:50,249 --> 00:25:52,039
Hi.
450
00:26:05,670 --> 00:26:07,844
Shit!
451
00:26:07,846 --> 00:26:09,860
So, uh...
452
00:26:12,389 --> 00:26:14,595
- I'm sort of seeing this girl.
- (COUGHS)
453
00:26:14,597 --> 00:26:16,707
- MOTHER: What did you say?
- What do you mean, what did I say?
454
00:26:16,709 --> 00:26:18,947
- Did you say...?
- JON SR.: She asked you what you said.
455
00:26:18,949 --> 00:26:20,962
What's the matter with that? I
couldn't understand you, either.
456
00:26:20,964 --> 00:26:22,498
Speak up and talk
like a human being.
457
00:26:22,500 --> 00:26:24,194
- Shush.
- What's your problem?
458
00:26:24,196 --> 00:26:25,250
- Jon.
- What?
459
00:26:25,252 --> 00:26:26,658
Did you say you found her?
460
00:26:26,660 --> 00:26:28,801
Well, I said I'm sort of...
461
00:26:28,803 --> 00:26:30,081
Oh, my God! What's her name?
462
00:26:30,082 --> 00:26:33,057
- Barbara.
- Barbara! Barbara what?
463
00:26:33,059 --> 00:26:35,296
- JON SR.: Here we go...
- Shh! Barbara what?
464
00:26:35,298 --> 00:26:38,304
- Barbara Sugarman.
- Sugarman?
465
00:26:38,306 --> 00:26:40,480
- She a Jew?
- I don't think so.
466
00:26:40,482 --> 00:26:42,911
- You don't know?
- We haven't really talked...
467
00:26:42,913 --> 00:26:44,511
She's not Italian, we know that.
468
00:26:44,513 --> 00:26:46,783
- Sugarman. She black?
- No.
469
00:26:46,785 --> 00:26:48,222
What does she look like?
470
00:26:48,224 --> 00:26:50,302
She's the most beautiful thing
I've seen in my life.
471
00:26:50,304 --> 00:26:53,117
- Oh, boy.
- Baby! Oh! (LAUGHS)
472
00:26:53,119 --> 00:26:55,677
That's the sweetest thing
I ever heard anybody say.
473
00:26:55,679 --> 00:26:58,525
- And does she love you?
- Wait a minute. Love him? You kidding?
474
00:26:58,526 --> 00:27:00,796
- Jon, shush!
- They're kids, for Christ's sake!
475
00:27:00,798 --> 00:27:03,516
- So what?
- You know what? Don't call me a kid.
476
00:27:03,518 --> 00:27:05,180
We talked about this,
I don't appreciate it.
477
00:27:05,182 --> 00:27:07,515
- Excuse me.
- Dad, I'm asking you nicely.
478
00:27:07,517 --> 00:27:09,371
To not call you a kid?
You're a fucking kid.
479
00:27:09,373 --> 00:27:11,067
- Jon!
- Fuck you!
480
00:27:11,069 --> 00:27:14,715
- Fuck me? Did you just say fuck me to me?
- Jon!
481
00:27:14,717 --> 00:27:17,946
He said they're in love, they're in love.
It doesn't matter how old they are.
482
00:27:17,948 --> 00:27:23,832
He's older than you were when we got married. You know that?
For God's sake, he's your son!
483
00:27:25,562 --> 00:27:27,161
You love this girl?
484
00:27:29,018 --> 00:27:31,480
Yes, I do.
485
00:27:31,482 --> 00:27:34,104
Then when do we
get to meet her?
486
00:27:34,106 --> 00:27:36,918
(GASPS) Oh!
487
00:27:36,920 --> 00:27:38,327
All right, Mom, OK.
488
00:27:38,329 --> 00:27:42,678
(LAUGHS) Oh!
489
00:27:42,680 --> 00:27:46,006
WOMAN: Bella?
Sweetheart, come over here.
490
00:27:48,535 --> 00:27:53,269
Come on, let me fix your
lipstick. Here we go.
491
00:27:53,271 --> 00:27:55,029
- You look so beautiful.
- Thank you.
492
00:27:55,031 --> 00:27:57,940
- Can I get you a refill?
- You don't have to do that.
493
00:27:57,941 --> 00:27:59,444
- No, it's my pleasure.
- Jon.
494
00:27:59,446 --> 00:28:01,716
- Thank you.
- Jon, you meet Daryl?
495
00:28:01,718 --> 00:28:03,668
- Oh, wow.
- You wanna hold him?
496
00:28:03,670 --> 00:28:06,771
- I don't know...
- Come here.
497
00:28:06,773 --> 00:28:09,011
- Here you go, babe.
- OK.
498
00:28:09,013 --> 00:28:13,554
- All right. Is that good? Is that right?
- Yeah. (LAUGHS)
499
00:28:13,556 --> 00:28:15,506
You look so cute,
the two of you.
500
00:28:15,508 --> 00:28:18,993
(PANTING, MOANING)
501
00:28:24,242 --> 00:28:25,808
MAN: Barbara!
502
00:28:25,810 --> 00:28:27,248
How long have
we been up here for?
503
00:28:27,250 --> 00:28:30,160
- Not long.
- Well, I gotta go, we gotta go.
504
00:28:30,162 --> 00:28:33,455
Come on, let's go.
Come on. Come on.
505
00:28:34,032 --> 00:28:36,271
Close the door.
506
00:28:36,273 --> 00:28:41,294
OK. Let's take a break and when we get
back we'll go over the course syllabus.
507
00:28:54,797 --> 00:28:56,620
(PHONE VIBRATING)
508
00:28:56,622 --> 00:28:59,308
- Hey.
- BARBARA: Baby! How is it?
509
00:28:59,310 --> 00:29:01,195
- It's great.
- Yeah? You're on break?
510
00:29:01,196 --> 00:29:04,203
- Yeah. How did you know?
- Your schedule's online.
511
00:29:04,205 --> 00:29:07,530
- Baby, I'm just so proud of you.
- Thanks.
512
00:29:07,532 --> 00:29:09,130
- Baby?
- Yeah?
513
00:29:09,132 --> 00:29:11,402
Can I come over
when you're done?
514
00:29:11,404 --> 00:29:13,706
- You wanna come to my place?
- Mm-hm.
515
00:29:13,708 --> 00:29:15,688
- What, tonight?
- Yeah.
516
00:29:15,690 --> 00:29:17,193
OK, great.
517
00:29:17,195 --> 00:29:20,617
- You get back to class, sexy man.
- All right.
518
00:29:20,619 --> 00:29:23,528
- Bye, baby.
- OK, bye.
519
00:29:31,495 --> 00:29:34,407
(WOMAN SOBBING)
520
00:29:35,846 --> 00:29:38,758
Jesus fucking Christ!
521
00:29:44,038 --> 00:29:46,852
- Excuse me. Sorry.
- Oh, fuck, I'm sorry.
522
00:29:46,854 --> 00:29:48,741
It's fine. It's fine.
523
00:29:56,804 --> 00:29:59,138
- Hi, baby.
- Hey.
524
00:29:59,140 --> 00:30:02,978
(ROMANTIC MUSIC SWELLS)
525
00:30:28,000 --> 00:30:31,102
- It's OK. I'll be right back.
- Baby...
526
00:30:41,950 --> 00:30:43,229
(COMPUTER CHIMES)
527
00:30:43,231 --> 00:30:46,396
JON: I'm in love with Barbara.
I am.
528
00:30:46,398 --> 00:30:49,051
And tonight,
I finally got to fuck her.
529
00:30:49,053 --> 00:30:53,531
But I'm sorry to say,
it's still not as good as porn.
530
00:30:53,533 --> 00:30:54,939
Tits?
531
00:30:56,668 --> 00:30:58,842
Best ever.
532
00:30:58,844 --> 00:31:00,506
Ass?
533
00:31:02,138 --> 00:31:04,218
Best ever.
534
00:31:04,220 --> 00:31:05,976
- Blowjob?
- (WOMAN MOANS)
535
00:31:12,410 --> 00:31:17,656
Shit. Good luck. A girl that hot?
She doesn't have to give head.
536
00:31:17,658 --> 00:31:21,623
(MAN, WOMAN MOANING)
537
00:31:21,625 --> 00:31:25,782
For her, she just wants to go from
kissing, to naked kissing, to fucking.
538
00:31:25,784 --> 00:31:29,365
- (MOANING)
- Or, you know, making love.
539
00:31:29,367 --> 00:31:32,278
And when I say "making love,"
I mean...
540
00:31:32,280 --> 00:31:34,741
...missionary fucking.
541
00:31:34,743 --> 00:31:37,109
No doggie. No cowboy.
542
00:31:37,111 --> 00:31:39,509
- BARBARA: What the fuck are you doing?
- Baby!
543
00:31:39,511 --> 00:31:41,652
- What the fuck are you doing?
- I was reading e-mails.
544
00:31:41,653 --> 00:31:44,371
- You weren't. You were watching porno!
- That's not what that was.
545
00:31:44,373 --> 00:31:45,652
- I saw you!
- But, baby...
546
00:31:45,654 --> 00:31:47,412
Don't call me that. Oh, my God!
547
00:31:47,413 --> 00:31:48,499
That's the most disgusting thing
I've ever seen in my life!
548
00:31:48,501 --> 00:31:50,419
Wait, don't go right now!
549
00:31:50,421 --> 00:31:52,402
I don't even know what that is.
That's sick...
550
00:31:52,404 --> 00:31:54,898
- But, baby, I'm telling you...
- Don't call me that!
551
00:31:54,900 --> 00:31:57,490
But I'm telling you, that thing
I was watching was just a joke!
552
00:31:57,492 --> 00:32:01,106
Some dumb-ass buddy of mine sent
it to me as a joke. Come on!
553
00:32:01,108 --> 00:32:04,593
You think I'm the kind of guy
that watches porn?
554
00:32:05,650 --> 00:32:07,345
No, you didn't
seem like that type.
555
00:32:07,347 --> 00:32:08,944
Right. 'Cause fucking
losers watch porn,
556
00:32:08,946 --> 00:32:11,408
- guys that can't get laid.
- Well, no. My friends'
557
00:32:11,409 --> 00:32:13,615
boyfriends are watching porno
on the Internet all the time,
558
00:32:13,617 --> 00:32:16,015
- it's fucking disgusting.
- It's stupid is what that is.
559
00:32:16,017 --> 00:32:19,215
Why would they watch porn when
they can get with a real girl?
560
00:32:19,217 --> 00:32:22,127
- So you don't do that normally?
- No.
561
00:32:22,129 --> 00:32:24,398
When was the last time
you did that before this?
562
00:32:24,400 --> 00:32:27,278
(SCOFFS) I don't even know.
When I was a kid or something.
563
00:32:27,280 --> 00:32:29,580
You're never gonna do it again?
564
00:32:29,582 --> 00:32:34,284
No. Why would I?
565
00:32:34,286 --> 00:32:36,811
- Promise?
- I promise.
566
00:32:36,813 --> 00:32:38,700
Baby...
567
00:32:40,013 --> 00:32:41,355
I love you.
568
00:32:49,164 --> 00:32:51,561
Come here.
569
00:33:27,750 --> 00:33:31,045
- (COMPUTER CHIMES)
- JON: It's not that I can't stop.
570
00:33:31,047 --> 00:33:34,436
I just figure, why should I? I mean,
my girlfriend doesn't like it.
571
00:33:34,438 --> 00:33:36,196
So she doesn't
have to know about it.
572
00:33:36,198 --> 00:33:38,243
It's not like
I'm cheating on her.
573
00:33:38,245 --> 00:33:40,451
I don't do it
when she's around.
574
00:33:44,547 --> 00:33:46,242
And everything's fine.
575
00:33:48,515 --> 00:33:53,088
She has been spending a lot of time at
my place, though. So I looked into it.
576
00:33:53,090 --> 00:33:57,761
And it's pretty amazing how easy it
is to get porn on-the-go these days.
577
00:33:57,763 --> 00:34:00,255
- So...
- (MOANING)
578
00:34:07,008 --> 00:34:09,726
(NO AUDIO)
579
00:34:09,728 --> 00:34:13,535
- Excuse me? Sorry, were you on your phone?
- No.
580
00:34:13,537 --> 00:34:15,710
- I'm Esther.
- Good to meet you.
581
00:34:15,712 --> 00:34:18,078
- What's your name?
- Jon.
582
00:34:18,080 --> 00:34:20,061
- I hope I'm not bothering you.
- No, it's fine.
583
00:34:20,063 --> 00:34:22,685
I just wanted to apologize.
I don't know if you remember,
584
00:34:22,687 --> 00:34:25,597
you caught me in a kind of an
inopportune moment last week.
585
00:34:25,599 --> 00:34:28,540
- When I was sobbing by the door?
- Oh! Yeah, sorry,
586
00:34:28,542 --> 00:34:31,643
- I'm sorry about that.
- Please, don't. Please, don't you apologize.
587
00:34:31,645 --> 00:34:33,307
You didn't do anything wrong.
588
00:34:33,309 --> 00:34:35,674
- I felt like I should say something.
- OK. Well...
589
00:34:35,676 --> 00:34:39,451
Because I've been thinking about it,
a lot actually, and I realized that,
590
00:34:39,453 --> 00:34:43,194
you know, nobody's seen me
like that in, like, six months,
591
00:34:43,196 --> 00:34:46,010
- and it's not like it's rare...
- TEACHER: Good evening, everyone.
592
00:34:46,012 --> 00:34:49,753
(WHISPERING) ...a rare occurrence,
I mean, I do that all the time,
593
00:34:49,755 --> 00:34:54,041
I'm crying all the time. It's just
something that I do in private now.
594
00:34:54,043 --> 00:34:57,240
On the one hand,
you go there when you go there.
595
00:34:57,242 --> 00:35:00,247
On the other hand, it's really
fucked up to keep it hidden, right?
596
00:35:00,249 --> 00:35:03,062
That's what became clear to me
when you startled me.
597
00:35:03,064 --> 00:35:05,590
You didn't, you didn't mean
to startle me, you walked by,
598
00:35:05,592 --> 00:35:09,078
but I just...
so I wanted to say thank you.
599
00:35:09,080 --> 00:35:12,725
Were you... I'm sorry,
this might be rude,
600
00:35:12,727 --> 00:35:14,293
but were you watching
people fucking on your phone?
601
00:35:14,295 --> 00:35:17,397
- What? No!
- It's OK if you were. I'm not judging you.
602
00:35:17,399 --> 00:35:20,469
- Lady, I'm just here to take this class.
- Did you just call me "lady"?
603
00:35:20,471 --> 00:35:23,284
So you take care.
604
00:35:23,286 --> 00:35:25,331
Oh, yeah. Sorry. Say no more.
605
00:35:30,100 --> 00:35:32,914
- I'm sorry.
- No, it's fine.
606
00:35:45,489 --> 00:35:48,592
What, are you fucking kidding me?!
You're fucking kidding me, right?!
607
00:35:48,594 --> 00:35:50,256
- Baby!
- What?
608
00:35:50,258 --> 00:35:52,496
(RADIO PLAYS INDISTINCTLY)
609
00:36:01,679 --> 00:36:05,582
I feel like I should leave my jacket in the car.
Maybe not. Should I bring it?
610
00:36:05,584 --> 00:36:07,950
- Yeah, whatever you want.
- Oh...
611
00:36:07,951 --> 00:36:10,382
- I'm nervous. That's all.
- Why you nervous?
612
00:36:10,384 --> 00:36:12,206
- I don't know...
- You got nothing to be nervous about.
613
00:36:12,208 --> 00:36:15,085
You look beautiful.
God, you look beautiful.
614
00:36:15,087 --> 00:36:17,292
Oh. (LAUGHS)
615
00:36:17,294 --> 00:36:19,532
- Are you ready? Go ahead.
- Yeah. All right.
616
00:36:20,908 --> 00:36:22,668
- Hi, Mom.
- MOTHER: Hi.
617
00:36:22,670 --> 00:36:25,996
Oh, hello, hello!
You must be Barbara.
618
00:36:25,998 --> 00:36:30,635
- Hi, Mrs. Martello. For you.
- Thank you, and please call me Angie.
619
00:36:30,636 --> 00:36:36,298
Come in, come in. Jon! Jonny's here!
Come say hello to your son!
620
00:36:36,300 --> 00:36:39,209
- Please.
- Let me get by you there, babe.
621
00:36:39,211 --> 00:36:43,881
Dad? I would like you to meet
Barbara. Baby, this is my dad.
622
00:36:43,883 --> 00:36:46,696
- Hi, Mr. Martello.
- Hey, good to meet you.
623
00:36:46,698 --> 00:36:48,967
- Jesus Christ!
- Jon!
624
00:36:48,969 --> 00:36:52,424
Oh, I... I wasn't expecting
such a lovely lady, that's all.
625
00:36:52,426 --> 00:36:55,399
Thank you. It's so nice
to finally meet you both.
626
00:36:55,401 --> 00:36:57,542
My pleasure, my pleasure.
627
00:36:57,544 --> 00:37:00,486
Well, please sit down
and I will be right back.
628
00:37:00,488 --> 00:37:04,486
- Can I help you with anything at all?
- Oh! I love her already.
629
00:37:04,487 --> 00:37:09,348
- Yes, please, sweetie, come on.
- JON: You want me to take that, babe?
630
00:37:09,350 --> 00:37:12,004
- Hey, hey, Jonny-boy!
- She's cute, right?
631
00:37:12,006 --> 00:37:14,276
Are you fucking kidding me? You
didn't tell me you were bringing home
632
00:37:14,278 --> 00:37:17,572
- a piece of ass like that!
- I told you she was the most beautiful thing
633
00:37:17,574 --> 00:37:20,035
- I've ever seen in my life.
- Yeah, you told me, but I mean,
634
00:37:20,037 --> 00:37:22,275
Jesus Christ, those tits!
They're real?
635
00:37:22,277 --> 00:37:25,474
- Yeah, they're real.
- Oh! Fuck me!
636
00:37:25,476 --> 00:37:29,473
- ANGIE: Did you clear the table?
- Yeah, yeah. Here, honey.
637
00:37:29,475 --> 00:37:32,482
Let me move this here,
so you can put that right there.
638
00:37:32,484 --> 00:37:36,065
- Right here?
- Right there. That's perfect.
639
00:37:38,594 --> 00:37:41,152
BARBARA: So tell me.
Tell me, how did it go?
640
00:37:41,154 --> 00:37:44,543
ANGIE: I was out with some girlfriends.
We went to see some band.
641
00:37:44,545 --> 00:37:46,368
Back then you used to see bands
when you went out.
642
00:37:46,369 --> 00:37:49,727
- Honey, what band was it?
- You think I remember?
643
00:37:49,729 --> 00:37:53,150
It was 28 years ago, and I
didn't even give a shit then.
644
00:37:53,152 --> 00:37:55,263
Anyway, I saw him early
in the night,
645
00:37:55,265 --> 00:37:58,109
I don't know if he saw me
till later, but I saw him.
646
00:37:58,111 --> 00:38:00,893
And I saw her,
you couldn't miss her.
647
00:38:00,895 --> 00:38:04,028
- She was like you.
- Thank you.
648
00:38:04,030 --> 00:38:06,396
- You know what I said?
- Listen to this.
649
00:38:06,398 --> 00:38:11,132
I said right then, right
when I saw her, I said...
650
00:38:11,134 --> 00:38:12,731
..."That's mine."
651
00:38:12,733 --> 00:38:16,284
- Oh, God.
- ANGIE: Yup. And he was right.
652
00:38:16,286 --> 00:38:18,234
Can you... Well,
that's beautiful.
653
00:38:18,236 --> 00:38:21,274
- Oh! Big play! Look at that!
- OK, Jon.
654
00:38:21,276 --> 00:38:23,866
- All right, Dad.
- All right, yeah.
655
00:38:23,868 --> 00:38:27,450
- Good job, big guy.
- Sweetie, so nice to meet you.
656
00:38:27,452 --> 00:38:30,969
- Bye, Mr. Martello.
- Please call me Jon.
657
00:38:30,971 --> 00:38:32,984
OK, Mom.
658
00:38:32,986 --> 00:38:34,488
- All right, babe?
- Oh! Bye.
659
00:38:34,490 --> 00:38:35,704
- Bye-bye.
- Bye.
660
00:38:35,706 --> 00:38:38,424
- Bye-bye.
- Drive safe.
661
00:38:38,426 --> 00:38:43,799
- I love her! I love her!
- Pretty good, huh? Not bad at all.
662
00:38:43,801 --> 00:38:47,062
(CHURCH BELLS CHIMING)
663
00:38:58,422 --> 00:39:01,364
- (ORGAN PLAYS SOMBER MELODY)
- JON: In the name of the Father,
664
00:39:01,366 --> 00:39:02,965
the Son and the Holy Spirit,
Amen.
665
00:39:02,967 --> 00:39:04,916
PRIEST: Amen.
Bless you, my son.
666
00:39:04,918 --> 00:39:06,579
Forgive me, Father, for I have
sinned. It has been one week
667
00:39:06,581 --> 00:39:08,371
- since my last confession.
- PRIEST: Tell me your sins.
668
00:39:08,373 --> 00:39:11,219
Since last Sunday,
I had sexual intercourse
669
00:39:11,221 --> 00:39:12,979
out of wedlock seven times.
670
00:39:12,981 --> 00:39:16,147
But... I stopped watching porn.
671
00:39:16,149 --> 00:39:20,497
Yeah, no more of that,
just the intercourse now.
672
00:39:20,499 --> 00:39:22,225
So...
673
00:39:22,227 --> 00:39:25,169
For these and all the sins of my
life, I am sorry.
674
00:39:25,171 --> 00:39:28,080
- Five Lord's Prayers and five Hail Marys.
- Thank you, Father.
675
00:39:28,082 --> 00:39:30,960
PRIEST: Through the ministry of the Church,
may God give you pardon and peace,
676
00:39:30,962 --> 00:39:33,264
and I absolve you from your sins in
the name of the Father, of the Son
677
00:39:33,266 --> 00:39:35,727
- and the Holy Spirit.
- Amen.
678
00:39:35,729 --> 00:39:40,175
TEACHER: Very good. OK, when we come back,
we'll go over employee personality testing.
679
00:39:40,177 --> 00:39:42,542
Go ahead, take a break.
680
00:39:45,296 --> 00:39:48,333
- Hi. Mind if I sit down?
- You know, actually, I...
681
00:39:48,335 --> 00:39:50,221
- I brought you something.
- You what?
682
00:39:50,223 --> 00:39:52,045
- What's that?
- Open it.
683
00:39:52,047 --> 00:39:53,965
- I don't want to take that from you.
- No, no, open it.
684
00:39:53,967 --> 00:39:56,268
It's something silly.
It's a little thing. Go ahead.
685
00:39:56,270 --> 00:39:58,124
All right. I'll open it.
686
00:39:59,725 --> 00:40:02,028
- What the fuck is this?
- It's actually pretty good.
687
00:40:02,030 --> 00:40:03,915
- What is the matter with you?
- Have you seen it?
688
00:40:03,917 --> 00:40:06,443
- Are you crazy?
- It was made by this Danish woman
689
00:40:06,445 --> 00:40:10,890
in the '70s. It's probably not what you're
used to looking at, but it's pretty hot.
690
00:40:10,892 --> 00:40:14,506
OK. Look, I have a girlfriend,
all right? So...
691
00:40:14,508 --> 00:40:18,217
I'm sorry, did you think I was
hitting on you? Because I'm not.
692
00:40:18,219 --> 00:40:21,385
- Will you just take this?
- I didn't mean for it to be a big thing.
693
00:40:21,387 --> 00:40:24,744
I thought you could use something better than
that shit you're watching on your phone.
694
00:40:24,746 --> 00:40:27,560
- (SCOFFS)
- Am I right?
695
00:40:27,562 --> 00:40:30,375
If you have a girlfriend, why
are you watching dirty movies?
696
00:40:30,377 --> 00:40:32,743
- What?
- I'm just asking.
697
00:40:32,745 --> 00:40:35,847
- You're fucking weird, you know that?
- I don't entirely disagree,
698
00:40:35,849 --> 00:40:37,606
but you're the one who's
gonna pretend you're texting
699
00:40:37,608 --> 00:40:39,622
while you watch people pretend
they're fucking on your phone!
700
00:40:39,624 --> 00:40:41,894
The shit I watch on here,
they're not pretending.
701
00:40:41,896 --> 00:40:44,389
Of course they are.
702
00:40:46,246 --> 00:40:48,581
(TECHNO MUSIC PLAYING)
703
00:40:52,390 --> 00:40:54,532
(WHISPERING) Forgive us
our trespasses...
704
00:40:54,534 --> 00:40:58,275
...as we forgive those...
who trespass against us...
705
00:40:58,277 --> 00:41:03,139
...and lead us not...
into temptation...
706
00:41:03,141 --> 00:41:04,547
...but deliver us from evil...
707
00:41:04,549 --> 00:41:06,274
- Baby?
- Huh?
708
00:41:06,276 --> 00:41:09,026
What are you doing?
You talking to yourself?
709
00:41:09,028 --> 00:41:11,202
- Yo, Jonny, you coming out tonight?
- That's dubious.
710
00:41:11,204 --> 00:41:13,793
I'm gonna wait for Barbara to call.
We're gonna meet up for dinner.
711
00:41:13,795 --> 00:41:16,161
- This fucking guy. Come on!
- What did you think he was gonna say?
712
00:41:16,163 --> 00:41:18,880
I thought he still had a pair of
balls hanging between his legs.
713
00:41:18,882 --> 00:41:21,792
You sound so fucking stupid to me
right now, I feel sorry for you.
714
00:41:21,794 --> 00:41:23,840
- Fuck you.
- I do. I feel sorry for you.
715
00:41:23,842 --> 00:41:26,399
You never been in love, so you don't
know what you're talking about.
716
00:41:26,401 --> 00:41:28,447
Hold up. Wait a minute. In love?
717
00:41:28,449 --> 00:41:30,943
When you really love a girl,
there's a lot that goes into it.
718
00:41:30,945 --> 00:41:32,926
- You're saying you love her?
- Of course I love her.
719
00:41:32,928 --> 00:41:35,774
- I never heard you say you loved her.
- You weren't paying attention.
720
00:41:35,776 --> 00:41:38,686
I've been in love with this girl
since the first time I saw her.
721
00:41:38,688 --> 00:41:40,701
Why would I wanna go out
and try to pull randoms?
722
00:41:40,703 --> 00:41:42,653
None of 'em are gonna
look as good as my girl,
723
00:41:42,655 --> 00:41:44,541
none of 'em are gonna fuck me
as good as my girl.
724
00:41:44,543 --> 00:41:46,333
- Really?
- Yeah, really.
725
00:41:46,335 --> 00:41:48,572
- So she's good?
- What did I say? Yeah, she's good.
726
00:41:48,574 --> 00:41:50,332
- She's the best.
- So you titty-fuck her?
727
00:41:50,334 --> 00:41:53,947
Bro, she lets me do
whatever the fuck I want.
728
00:41:53,949 --> 00:41:56,443
This is what I'm trying to tell
you, if you would listen to me.
729
00:41:56,445 --> 00:42:00,283
I'm telling you guys something. You
be a man, you do the right thing,
730
00:42:00,285 --> 00:42:03,450
you find the right girl
and you treat her the right way?
731
00:42:03,452 --> 00:42:06,682
Watch what happens.
Best sex of your life.
732
00:42:06,684 --> 00:42:07,737
Hey, baby.
733
00:42:07,739 --> 00:42:10,361
- Hey.
- Hi.
734
00:42:10,363 --> 00:42:14,169
- I love it when you wear this shit.
- Oh, you're crazy.
735
00:42:17,049 --> 00:42:19,000
- You good?
- Yeah. You order anything yet?
736
00:42:19,002 --> 00:42:21,431
- No, I waited for you.
- Sweet.
737
00:42:23,320 --> 00:42:25,719
- Oh, fuck!
- Who's that?
738
00:42:25,721 --> 00:42:29,078
It's Linda. She's
been fighting with Chris.
739
00:42:29,080 --> 00:42:30,998
I don't think
they're gonna work out.
740
00:42:31,000 --> 00:42:34,230
- You remember Linda and Chris, yeah?
- Yeah, yeah.
741
00:42:34,232 --> 00:42:37,685
- I thought they were cute together, no?
- Sure. They seemed pretty good.
742
00:42:37,687 --> 00:42:40,917
She's 28 years old. She put like four years
into the guy already. It's terrible.
743
00:42:40,919 --> 00:42:43,796
- (MOANING)
- How did you get off work tonight?
744
00:42:43,798 --> 00:42:45,684
I got Stevie to cover my shift.
745
00:42:45,686 --> 00:42:47,924
- Stevie?
- Yeah, he needed the hours.
746
00:42:47,926 --> 00:42:51,123
- I don't think I know Stevie, no?
- I don't think you met him.
747
00:42:51,125 --> 00:42:54,899
- Oh! I wish somebody would cover for me.
- See? What did I tell you?
748
00:42:54,900 --> 00:42:57,330
The service industry,
it's not a bad thing.
749
00:42:57,332 --> 00:42:59,282
Come on, you're gonna
look so good in a suit.
750
00:42:59,284 --> 00:43:01,490
- I don't know.
- What? Please.
751
00:43:01,492 --> 00:43:03,313
If Armando can do it,
that man is such an asshole.
752
00:43:03,315 --> 00:43:06,449
- (MOANING)
- He treats women like they're trash, but...
753
00:43:06,451 --> 00:43:09,809
...he makes six figures.
754
00:43:09,811 --> 00:43:13,104
Well, he's got a pretty good life, no?
If he could do it, you could do it.
755
00:43:13,106 --> 00:43:16,016
- (MOANING)
- Hey, baby.
756
00:43:16,017 --> 00:43:19,854
You're a winner, right?
You respect people.
757
00:43:19,856 --> 00:43:21,391
- You listen to people.
- (MOANING)
758
00:43:21,393 --> 00:43:24,462
- You think so?
- I know so, mister.
759
00:43:24,464 --> 00:43:26,926
(MOANING)
760
00:43:42,637 --> 00:43:43,692
(HORN HONKING)
761
00:43:43,694 --> 00:43:46,635
Fucking 'caused it! Fuck!
762
00:44:24,583 --> 00:44:27,813
(PHONE VIBRATING)
763
00:44:32,774 --> 00:44:34,660
Hi, babe.
764
00:44:34,662 --> 00:44:37,508
I don't know which ones to get.
Baby, what do you think?
765
00:44:37,509 --> 00:44:40,548
That depends. You gonna
drill into your wall?
766
00:44:40,550 --> 00:44:42,243
I don't know.
767
00:44:42,245 --> 00:44:44,930
- You don't have a drill, do you?
- No.
768
00:44:44,932 --> 00:44:48,034
Nah, I didn't think so. My dad
has got a pretty good one.
769
00:44:48,036 --> 00:44:50,146
If you want me, I can borrow
his, I'll do it for you.
770
00:44:50,148 --> 00:44:54,466
- You gonna drill into my wall for me?
- Whatever you want, babe.
771
00:44:56,610 --> 00:44:59,617
You decide what color. I'm gonna
meet you at the registers.
772
00:44:59,619 --> 00:45:01,599
I wanna pick up a few things
in cleaning products.
773
00:45:01,601 --> 00:45:02,976
Where are you going?
774
00:45:02,978 --> 00:45:04,544
- What?
- Where are you going?
775
00:45:04,546 --> 00:45:06,368
I'm almost out of Swiffer pads.
I'm gonna pick a few up.
776
00:45:06,370 --> 00:45:08,192
- (LAUGHS) What pads?
- For the Swiffer.
777
00:45:08,194 --> 00:45:10,815
- I don't know what that is.
- You don't know the Swiffer?
778
00:45:10,817 --> 00:45:12,863
- What is that? No.
- Seriously? It's the best.
779
00:45:12,865 --> 00:45:14,815
You gotta try it.
What do you do for your floors?
780
00:45:14,817 --> 00:45:16,957
You got those nice floors at
your place. What, do you mop?
781
00:45:16,959 --> 00:45:20,350
- No.
- What do you do?
782
00:45:20,351 --> 00:45:24,061
- I don't know. I sweep it up with a broom.
- No, I mean to really clean it.
783
00:45:24,063 --> 00:45:27,420
- I don't know. The housekeeper does it.
- Oh, right.
784
00:45:27,422 --> 00:45:30,012
- Listen, I'll just be a second, OK?
- No, no, no. Come here.
785
00:45:30,014 --> 00:45:32,892
- What?
- You're not gonna go buy a mop right now.
786
00:45:32,894 --> 00:45:35,260
- It's embarrassing.
- No, I told you, it's not a mop.
787
00:45:35,262 --> 00:45:37,018
- It's these pads.
- I don't care.
788
00:45:37,020 --> 00:45:38,811
You shouldn't be doing
your own housework.
789
00:45:38,813 --> 00:45:40,635
- Why not?
- 'Cause you're a grown man.
790
00:45:40,637 --> 00:45:42,778
You shouldn't be
cleaning your own floors.
791
00:45:42,780 --> 00:45:44,441
Why? I enjoy doing it.
792
00:45:44,443 --> 00:45:46,298
You know what? I'll call
Rosa. She'll do your place.
793
00:45:46,300 --> 00:45:49,082
- Who?
- Rosa, my cleaning lady, she's great.
794
00:45:49,084 --> 00:45:51,481
Babe, no. Thanks, but
I like doing it myself.
795
00:45:51,483 --> 00:45:53,881
Are you kidding me?
You don't got to be doing that.
796
00:45:53,883 --> 00:45:56,377
She won't do it right anyway. You
gotta vacuum my carpet a certain way,
797
00:45:56,379 --> 00:45:58,936
- or else it looks...
- Don't talk about vacuuming in front of me.
798
00:45:58,938 --> 00:46:01,816
- Why? What's wrong?
- Why? Because it's not sexy, that's why.
799
00:46:01,818 --> 00:46:03,895
You're not listening to me.
I like my place, OK?
800
00:46:03,897 --> 00:46:05,495
I'm proud of it,
I like to take care of it.
801
00:46:05,497 --> 00:46:06,583
I don't care. We're not having
802
00:46:06,585 --> 00:46:07,959
this discussion right now.
803
00:46:07,961 --> 00:46:09,687
There's only a few things
I really care about...
804
00:46:09,689 --> 00:46:12,406
We're not talking
about this anymore.
805
00:46:17,495 --> 00:46:20,149
- Fine, let's drop it.
- Good.
806
00:46:22,678 --> 00:46:24,917
Those ones.
807
00:46:24,918 --> 00:46:27,156
- You want those?
- Yeah.
808
00:46:29,941 --> 00:46:31,892
Come here. Listen to me.
809
00:46:31,893 --> 00:46:35,379
When we're living together,
you're not...
810
00:46:35,381 --> 00:46:38,515
...going to be doing...
any cleaning.
811
00:46:39,410 --> 00:46:41,233
Come on.
812
00:46:53,297 --> 00:46:57,424
Jon? Excuse me. Look, I know
you don't wanna talk to me.
813
00:46:57,426 --> 00:46:59,215
I would leave you alone,
but I swear to God,
814
00:46:59,217 --> 00:47:01,455
I just fell asleep during
that entire class.
815
00:47:01,457 --> 00:47:04,399
The whole fucking thing.
Can I copy your notes?
816
00:47:04,401 --> 00:47:07,822
I'd ask somebody else, but everyone
in the class are like children.
817
00:47:07,824 --> 00:47:11,918
I'm not calling you old.
It'll take like five minutes...
818
00:47:11,920 --> 00:47:14,828
- Do you mind?
- Fine.
819
00:47:14,830 --> 00:47:17,741
Thank you so much. Do you wanna go somewhere?
There's a café...
820
00:47:17,743 --> 00:47:20,397
My girlfriend's
waiting at home, so...
821
00:47:20,399 --> 00:47:23,404
Oh. OK, well, then I'll...
OK, I'll do this.
822
00:47:31,051 --> 00:47:35,210
I really shouldn't get so high after
lunch if I'm gonna be coming here later.
823
00:47:36,715 --> 00:47:38,954
You're probably right.
824
00:47:38,956 --> 00:47:43,401
- It is pretty boring, don't you think?
- What?
825
00:47:43,403 --> 00:47:47,560
- I said this class is pretty fucking boring.
- Oh. Yep.
826
00:47:47,562 --> 00:47:50,056
Like they're teaching
you to be a robot.
827
00:47:53,064 --> 00:47:56,167
- Why are you here?
- Hm?
828
00:47:56,169 --> 00:47:59,719
- Why did you pick this class?
- I didn't.
829
00:47:59,721 --> 00:48:01,767
What?
830
00:48:01,768 --> 00:48:05,030
No, it seemed like a good idea.
I'm in the service industry now.
831
00:48:05,032 --> 00:48:07,494
- You mean you're a waiter?
- No.
832
00:48:07,496 --> 00:48:09,765
- Bartender?
- Yeah, so, if you wanna move up,
833
00:48:09,767 --> 00:48:11,716
- you gotta go to school.
- Right.
834
00:48:11,718 --> 00:48:17,123
But what do you mean you
didn't pick this class?
835
00:48:17,125 --> 00:48:19,908
- No, I did.
- Did somebody pick it for you?
836
00:48:19,909 --> 00:48:22,275
- No!
- Was it your parents or your girlfriend?
837
00:48:22,277 --> 00:48:24,163
- What is it with you? Huh?
- No, I just...
838
00:48:24,165 --> 00:48:26,562
- I was wondering...
- I'm doing something polite...
839
00:48:26,564 --> 00:48:28,834
That's mine.
840
00:48:28,836 --> 00:48:31,426
OK. Sorry.
841
00:48:34,690 --> 00:48:37,314
Jesus! (LAUGHS)
842
00:48:37,316 --> 00:48:41,857
- Oh, man! Oh, God!
- (ENGINE REVVING)
843
00:48:47,072 --> 00:48:50,815
- Hey, baby.
- Hi, Jon.
844
00:48:50,817 --> 00:48:53,919
What's wrong?
845
00:48:53,921 --> 00:48:56,351
Remember when we
first started dating?
846
00:48:56,353 --> 00:49:00,157
What's the one thing I asked?
I said, "Don't lie to me."
847
00:49:00,159 --> 00:49:03,262
- All right, who's talking shit about me?
- Nobody said anything.
848
00:49:03,264 --> 00:49:07,773
- You gotta help me out...
- You looked at 46 porno sites today, Jon.
849
00:49:07,775 --> 00:49:10,108
- Just today.
- I don't know what you're talking about.
850
00:49:10,110 --> 00:49:12,860
- Don't fucking lie to me!
- I don't know who told you that!
851
00:49:12,862 --> 00:49:15,388
Nobody said anything. It's
right there in your history!
852
00:49:15,390 --> 00:49:18,684
All you do is look at porno.
That's all you fucking do!
853
00:49:18,686 --> 00:49:23,067
- Wait, wait. My what?
- It's in your history.
854
00:49:23,069 --> 00:49:25,243
In your browser?
855
00:49:25,245 --> 00:49:27,930
Come on, don't tell me you don't
know what your history is.
856
00:49:27,932 --> 00:49:30,842
No. Of course you don't, 'cause if
you did, you would have erased it,
857
00:49:30,844 --> 00:49:32,154
like a good little phony. Here.
858
00:49:32,155 --> 00:49:36,792
There. Go ahead,
look. Go ahead.
859
00:49:41,017 --> 00:49:43,767
- Baby, I...
- Please, no, don't call me that.
860
00:49:43,769 --> 00:49:46,712
- I love you.
- Don't ever say that to me, ever again.
861
00:49:46,714 --> 00:49:49,110
- What do you want me to say?
- What do I want you to say?
862
00:49:49,112 --> 00:49:52,502
How about, "I'm sorry I've been
lying to you since the first day"
863
00:49:52,504 --> 00:49:55,125
- that we started dating"? How about that?
- I'm sorry. I am.
864
00:49:55,127 --> 00:49:57,749
How about,
"I'm sorry I have more sex
865
00:49:57,751 --> 00:49:59,669
with that thing than
I do with my girlfriend"?
866
00:49:59,671 --> 00:50:02,964
First of all, everybody
watches porn, OK? All guys.
867
00:50:02,966 --> 00:50:04,853
Any guy tells you he doesn't
is lying to you.
868
00:50:04,855 --> 00:50:06,773
- You are so full of shit!
- Second of all...
869
00:50:06,775 --> 00:50:10,356
- You are full of shit!
- Second of all, you know damn well
870
00:50:10,358 --> 00:50:12,243
- we do it all the fucking time!
- Yeah, I know we do.
871
00:50:12,245 --> 00:50:14,996
- Whenever you want!
- So what the fuck is wrong with you?
872
00:50:14,997 --> 00:50:17,394
What the fuck are you doing?
How do you watch that shit?
873
00:50:17,396 --> 00:50:19,699
I don't know! OK? I don't know!
874
00:50:19,701 --> 00:50:22,290
How do you watch all the stupid
fucking movies you watch?
875
00:50:22,292 --> 00:50:24,177
How do I watch movies?
What are you talking about?
876
00:50:24,179 --> 00:50:26,738
I'm saying, you probably watch
that shit as much as I watch porn.
877
00:50:26,740 --> 00:50:28,817
What are you saying? That has
nothing to do with anything!
878
00:50:28,819 --> 00:50:32,337
- I'm just saying...
- Jon, movies and porno are different!
879
00:50:32,339 --> 00:50:35,057
- They give awards for movies!
- They give awards for porn too.
880
00:50:35,059 --> 00:50:37,424
Shut up! Shut the fuck up!
881
00:50:41,904 --> 00:50:44,207
I can't believe we're
talking about this.
882
00:50:44,209 --> 00:50:46,254
I'm sorry. Jesus.
Look, stop it.
883
00:50:46,256 --> 00:50:49,103
I don't know, I don't
know what's wrong with me.
884
00:50:57,261 --> 00:51:01,196
I'm sorry, OK? I...
I'm sorry. I am so sorry...
885
00:51:01,198 --> 00:51:02,637
(GRUNTS)
886
00:51:06,060 --> 00:51:08,843
I really liked you, you know?
887
00:51:15,755 --> 00:51:18,825
I thought you were different.
888
00:51:18,827 --> 00:51:20,745
But you're not.
889
00:51:28,553 --> 00:51:30,889
(DOOR SLAMS)
890
00:51:41,031 --> 00:51:45,605
- (COMPUTER CHIMES)
- JON: So up until now, my record was ten in one day.
891
00:51:45,607 --> 00:51:49,382
And for a long time, I thought I'd
never beat that. But today...
892
00:51:49,384 --> 00:51:52,805
- ...I hit 11.
- (WOMEN MOANING)
893
00:51:54,374 --> 00:51:57,765
JON: And you know, when I have
great fucking days like this,
894
00:51:57,767 --> 00:52:01,956
it just reminds me how much
I love being single.
895
00:52:01,958 --> 00:52:04,963
- I do what I want, when I want.
- (WOMEN MOANING)
896
00:52:04,965 --> 00:52:08,642
I don't have to flake
on my friends anymore.
897
00:52:08,644 --> 00:52:11,299
I don't have to waste my time
in a fucking classroom.
898
00:52:11,301 --> 00:52:15,105
It just feels good, like...
like I got my own life back.
899
00:52:15,107 --> 00:52:18,722
- (MOANING)
- I mean, you think I could have hit 11
900
00:52:18,723 --> 00:52:21,601
when I was with Barbara?
No! Definitely not.
901
00:52:23,521 --> 00:52:25,824
So...
902
00:52:25,826 --> 00:52:29,631
(HIP-HOP PLAYS)
903
00:52:42,175 --> 00:52:45,566
- Jonny-boy!
- Jesus, bro, I can smell it on you already.
904
00:52:45,568 --> 00:52:47,934
- You got to catch up, baby!
- You mean I got to buy your poor ass
905
00:52:47,936 --> 00:52:51,005
- a fucking drink?
- Yo, the Don mad anxious tonight.
906
00:52:51,006 --> 00:52:52,508
- Fuck you!
- Where's wifey?
907
00:52:52,510 --> 00:52:55,260
- Fuck that bitch.
- Oh, shit!
908
00:52:55,262 --> 00:52:56,795
- Damn, OK!
- All right.
909
00:52:56,797 --> 00:52:58,748
You can't have this one,
'cause I saw her first,
910
00:52:58,750 --> 00:53:04,155
- but check out pink.
- JON: Yeah. She's all right.
911
00:53:04,956 --> 00:53:08,891
(HIP-HOP PLAYS)
912
00:53:21,401 --> 00:53:23,704
- Hey, fuck you, buddy!
- MAN: Fuck you!
913
00:53:23,706 --> 00:53:28,215
What'd you say? Huh? What the
fuck did you just say?! Hey!
914
00:53:28,217 --> 00:53:31,223
You wanna say some shit? Let's hear
it, you fat fuck! What did you say?!
915
00:53:31,225 --> 00:53:35,927
- MAN: I said fuck you!
- Fuck me, huh? Fuck me?
916
00:53:35,929 --> 00:53:39,797
Is that what you said?!
Huh? Huh? You fuck! Ah!
917
00:53:39,799 --> 00:53:43,637
- Fuck! Goddamn it! Fuck!
- (CAR HORN HONKING)
918
00:53:52,276 --> 00:53:54,964
(ORGAN PLAYS SOMBER MELODY)
919
00:53:58,035 --> 00:54:00,146
JON: In the name of the Father, the
Son and the Holy Spirit. Amen.
920
00:54:00,148 --> 00:54:02,770
- PRIEST: Amen. Bless you, my son.
- Forgive me, Father,
921
00:54:02,772 --> 00:54:04,754
for I have sinned. It has been one
week since my last confession.
922
00:54:04,756 --> 00:54:06,673
- Jonny, where were you?
- Don't worry about it.
923
00:54:06,675 --> 00:54:08,210
- What did you do to your...?
- Mom, it's fine.
924
00:54:08,212 --> 00:54:11,153
- Shh!
- Hey, hush yourself!
925
00:54:11,155 --> 00:54:13,392
Mom! It's fine. OK?
926
00:54:13,394 --> 00:54:18,320
- PRIEST: Tell me your sins.
- Father, I don't know what happened, but...
927
00:54:18,322 --> 00:54:21,552
...I guess I lost
my temper and I...
928
00:54:21,554 --> 00:54:24,495
I punched through this guy's
window on my way here right now.
929
00:54:24,497 --> 00:54:27,438
I didn't hurt anybody, but...
930
00:54:27,440 --> 00:54:30,254
Yeah, I don't know
what's wrong with me.
931
00:54:31,759 --> 00:54:35,182
Also, I watched pornographic
videos and masturbated 35 times.
932
00:54:35,183 --> 00:54:38,830
For these and all the sins
of my life, I'm sorry.
933
00:54:38,832 --> 00:54:42,124
- Twenty Lord's Prayers and 25 Hail Marys.
- Thank you, Father.
934
00:54:42,126 --> 00:54:45,004
PRIEST: Through the ministry of the Church,
may God give you pardon and peace.
935
00:54:45,006 --> 00:54:48,747
I absolve you from your sins in the name of
the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.
936
00:54:48,749 --> 00:54:50,059
Amen.
937
00:54:50,061 --> 00:54:51,883
So Barbara
couldn't come tonight?
938
00:54:51,885 --> 00:54:54,283
No, she had this
family thing tonight.
939
00:54:54,285 --> 00:54:56,459
But she wanted to make it,
she just couldn't.
940
00:54:56,461 --> 00:54:59,594
- She told me to say hello to you guys.
- That's sweet.
941
00:54:59,596 --> 00:55:01,858
Everything good
with the two of you?
942
00:55:03,434 --> 00:55:06,889
- Yeah, she's great.
- ANGIE: She's a catch, Jonny.
943
00:55:06,891 --> 00:55:09,224
Beautiful girl.
944
00:55:09,226 --> 00:55:13,640
I'm telling you, a woman like
that make a boy into a man.
945
00:55:13,642 --> 00:55:15,943
I can see it on you too,
it's starting.
946
00:55:21,479 --> 00:55:23,943
(TECHNO MUSIC PLAYING)
947
00:55:26,983 --> 00:55:29,253
(WHISPERING) Holy Mary...
948
00:55:30,086 --> 00:55:31,781
...Mother of God...
949
00:55:32,838 --> 00:55:34,981
...pray for us sinners...
950
00:55:36,774 --> 00:55:38,468
...now...
951
00:55:39,525 --> 00:55:41,444
...and at the hour of our death.
952
00:55:43,460 --> 00:55:45,251
Amen.
953
00:55:49,891 --> 00:55:52,258
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
954
00:55:58,978 --> 00:56:02,369
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
955
00:56:02,371 --> 00:56:04,320
What the fuck?
956
00:56:14,561 --> 00:56:17,151
- The fuck you doing here?
- Damn, really?
957
00:56:17,153 --> 00:56:20,638
- Bro, I'm busy.
- Word, what you doing?
958
00:56:20,640 --> 00:56:24,766
Right. Just 'cause you don't pick
up your phone don't make you busy.
959
00:56:27,486 --> 00:56:30,333
- You smashed up somebody's car?
- Who told you that?
960
00:56:30,335 --> 00:56:34,973
Kerry's sister said she heard you
broke through some guy's window.
961
00:56:34,975 --> 00:56:36,668
- Well, did you?
- The guy was a fucking asshole.
962
00:56:36,670 --> 00:56:38,395
- What did he do?
- Why you taking his side?
963
00:56:38,397 --> 00:56:40,251
- I'm not taking his side.
- You are.
964
00:56:40,253 --> 00:56:43,195
Stop and think for a second.
Stop and think for a second.
965
00:56:43,197 --> 00:56:46,491
I don't care about that guy, I don't
give a damn about his car. Fuck him.
966
00:56:46,493 --> 00:56:48,155
What do you think
I'm doing here, man?
967
00:56:48,156 --> 00:56:50,842
- You wanna have a seat?
- Bro, honestly...
968
00:56:50,844 --> 00:56:53,210
Man, sit your ass down.
969
00:56:59,065 --> 00:57:01,849
- All right, what happened with your girl?
- Fuck that bitch.
970
00:57:01,851 --> 00:57:04,216
- You said that already. What, she drop you?
- No.
971
00:57:04,218 --> 00:57:06,871
No? You drop her? After all
that, she cheat on you?
972
00:57:06,873 --> 00:57:08,791
- No!
- So, what happened?
973
00:57:08,793 --> 00:57:10,615
Nothing! It's so fucking stupid.
974
00:57:10,617 --> 00:57:12,087
That's what I'm saying,
she's a bitch.
975
00:57:12,089 --> 00:57:13,719
She did drop your ass.
976
00:57:13,720 --> 00:57:16,247
- What did you do, man? You cheat on her?
- No!
977
00:57:16,249 --> 00:57:19,798
All right, you wanna hear this
shit? It's so fucking retarded.
978
00:57:19,800 --> 00:57:22,165
She caught me watching porn.
979
00:57:22,167 --> 00:57:24,309
- That's it?
- Right?
980
00:57:24,311 --> 00:57:26,550
- That's bullshit.
- Swear to God.
981
00:57:26,551 --> 00:57:30,676
Oh, my God! OK, hold on,
hold on, all right.
982
00:57:30,678 --> 00:57:34,963
So after all that obligatory shit, the
friend mixing and meeting her folks,
983
00:57:34,965 --> 00:57:38,483
she just walks in on you, you know,
beating your meat to a little video
984
00:57:38,485 --> 00:57:40,275
- and she's out?
- You don't know her.
985
00:57:40,277 --> 00:57:42,866
- She's crazy, she's a princess.
- Goddamn!
986
00:57:42,868 --> 00:57:46,610
- I know.
- No, for real, that's some crazy bullshit right there.
987
00:57:46,612 --> 00:57:50,513
- Fuck that bitch.
- Yeah. Fuck that bitch.
988
00:57:52,178 --> 00:57:55,664
But you still gonna
finish that class?
989
00:57:55,666 --> 00:57:57,648
- Really?
- What are you, my mom?
990
00:57:57,650 --> 00:58:00,144
No, I just thought it was almost done.
How much longer you got?
991
00:58:00,146 --> 00:58:04,271
TEACHER: All right, everyone,
three more weeks until the final.
992
00:58:04,273 --> 00:58:08,718
If you have any questions or concerns, please
feel free to e-mail me. Have a good night.
993
00:58:26,093 --> 00:58:29,547
- JON: Hey.
- ESTHER: Hi.
994
00:58:29,549 --> 00:58:32,811
- JON: Where you going?
- ESTHER: To my car.
995
00:58:32,813 --> 00:58:36,267
(MOANING)
996
00:58:36,269 --> 00:58:38,378
- JON: Oh, shit!
- ESTHER: OK.
997
00:58:38,380 --> 00:58:41,226
JON: No, we're fine,
we're fine, we're fine.
998
00:58:41,228 --> 00:58:43,721
(JON GRUNTING)
999
00:58:43,723 --> 00:58:45,897
Oh, my God!
1000
00:58:53,833 --> 00:58:57,064
Should've smoked this before,
you might've relaxed a little.
1001
00:58:57,066 --> 00:58:59,591
What's that supposed to mean?
1002
00:58:59,593 --> 00:59:04,007
I'm playing with you. Trust me, I'm
a perfectly satisfied customer.
1003
00:59:04,009 --> 00:59:07,206
- You want some?
- Thanks.
1004
00:59:10,919 --> 00:59:13,605
So I'm parked all the way on the other side.
I don't know if you want...
1005
00:59:13,606 --> 00:59:17,605
I know, you wanna get back, so let me enjoy
this and I'll drive you back to your car.
1006
00:59:17,607 --> 00:59:19,492
OK.
1007
00:59:21,477 --> 00:59:25,347
- So, what happened with your girlfriend?
- Fuck that bitch.
1008
00:59:25,349 --> 00:59:28,867
- That bad? She find somebody else?
- No.
1009
00:59:28,869 --> 00:59:32,322
Wanna know what happened?
I'll tell you what happened.
1010
00:59:32,324 --> 00:59:35,490
She snooped around on my computer,
she found out I watch porn.
1011
00:59:35,492 --> 00:59:38,338
I told her every fucking guy watches
porn, she didn't believe me.
1012
00:59:38,340 --> 00:59:42,433
She acted like I was cheating on
her or something, which I wasn't.
1013
00:59:42,435 --> 00:59:44,705
So... we broke up.
1014
00:59:44,707 --> 00:59:47,392
And you know what?
I'm glad we did.
1015
00:59:48,609 --> 00:59:50,944
- Just porn?
- Yeah.
1016
00:59:50,946 --> 00:59:53,855
- No, I don't buy it.
- I'm telling you. That's all.
1017
00:59:53,857 --> 00:59:57,215
Was it just once? Oh.
1018
00:59:57,217 --> 01:00:01,566
OK. So she caught you once, which is why
you're watching it on your phone at school,
1019
01:00:01,568 --> 01:00:03,934
'cause you're hiding it from her,
but she caught you the second time.
1020
01:00:03,936 --> 01:00:08,093
I don't know. Am I right?
I'm just guessing, but...
1021
01:00:08,095 --> 01:00:13,053
Oh, God, you're like
a junkie. You can't stop.
1022
01:00:13,055 --> 01:00:15,356
- How often do you watch it?
- What the fuck do you care?
1023
01:00:15,358 --> 01:00:20,668
- No, like every day?
- Every guy watches porn every day.
1024
01:00:20,670 --> 01:00:24,731
All right. When was the last
time you went a day without it?
1025
01:00:24,733 --> 01:00:26,779
- I don't know.
- No, come on, try and think.
1026
01:00:26,781 --> 01:00:29,338
- Seriously, I have no idea.
- Like this week, like this month?
1027
01:00:29,340 --> 01:00:33,178
No. I like my porn, OK? I watch it every day.
I always have.
1028
01:00:33,180 --> 01:00:36,601
Maybe when I was a kid, like before I
had a VCR in my room and I couldn't,
1029
01:00:36,603 --> 01:00:39,865
but even then
I had Playboys, so...
1030
01:00:39,867 --> 01:00:42,200
- Have you ever thought about quitting?
- Quit...?
1031
01:00:42,202 --> 01:00:47,640
- You're talking about it like... No, why would I?
- OK, let me ask you this.
1032
01:00:47,642 --> 01:00:50,935
You're a good-looking guy, I'm sure
you attract a lot of young ladies.
1033
01:00:50,937 --> 01:00:53,463
Why bother with porn when you
can have the real thing?
1034
01:00:53,465 --> 01:00:55,702
Nah, see, it's not
the same thing.
1035
01:00:55,704 --> 01:00:58,390
I mean, real pussy's all good,
but, no offense...
1036
01:00:58,392 --> 01:01:03,733
No, no, no offense taken. So
you like porn better than sex?
1037
01:01:06,934 --> 01:01:09,077
Well, what is it?
What do you get from porn
1038
01:01:09,079 --> 01:01:11,988
that you don't get from sex
with an actual person?
1039
01:01:13,365 --> 01:01:16,340
- I lose myself.
- You lose yourself.
1040
01:01:16,342 --> 01:01:19,219
Yeah, just... goodbye.
1041
01:01:19,221 --> 01:01:23,059
- And that doesn't happen when you have sex.
- I wish it did.
1042
01:01:23,061 --> 01:01:26,930
Sure, don't we all? Um...
1043
01:01:26,931 --> 01:01:30,609
OK. One more question,
then I'll drive you back.
1044
01:01:30,611 --> 01:01:34,609
- You ever jerk off without porn?
- What do you mean?
1045
01:01:56,111 --> 01:01:59,437
- (COMPUTER CHIMES)
- JON: I'm not like a junkie. Come on, that's stupid.
1046
01:01:59,439 --> 01:02:02,029
It's porn,
it's not fucking heroin.
1047
01:02:02,031 --> 01:02:07,243
I knew a few guys in high school who
actually smoked crack, like all the time.
1048
01:02:07,245 --> 01:02:12,587
That's like a junkie. They couldn't stop.
I could stop if I wanted to. I could.
1049
01:03:06,821 --> 01:03:08,195
- Hi.
- Hey.
1050
01:03:08,197 --> 01:03:11,683
- Somebody's excited.
- Yeah. Come on.
1051
01:03:11,685 --> 01:03:15,649
- I wanted to talk to you.
- Yeah? What about?
1052
01:03:16,739 --> 01:03:18,594
Don't you wanna...?
1053
01:03:19,651 --> 01:03:22,560
Don't you wanna wait
till after class?
1054
01:03:23,490 --> 01:03:25,344
OK.
1055
01:03:31,073 --> 01:03:32,767
All right. (LAUGHS)
1056
01:03:45,279 --> 01:03:48,893
You're... You're intense today.
What's going on with you?
1057
01:03:48,895 --> 01:03:51,197
- I gotta talk to you.
- I didn't think you meant that
1058
01:03:51,199 --> 01:03:53,084
- when you said it.
- Well, I did.
1059
01:03:53,086 --> 01:03:56,701
Well, I'm flattered.
What do you wanna talk about?
1060
01:03:56,703 --> 01:03:59,676
- (LAUGHS)
- Um...
1061
01:03:59,678 --> 01:04:01,308
So you were right.
1062
01:04:01,310 --> 01:04:02,875
- About what, your girlfriend?
- No.
1063
01:04:02,877 --> 01:04:05,562
I'm sorry.
I was right about what?
1064
01:04:05,564 --> 01:04:08,538
- I stopped watching porn.
- Oh, yeah? That's great!
1065
01:04:08,540 --> 01:04:10,106
- I don't know if it is.
- No, it is.
1066
01:04:10,108 --> 01:04:12,346
I wasn't gonna stop,
but then I was thinking about
1067
01:04:12,348 --> 01:04:16,121
what you asked me before,
if I ever jerk off
1068
01:04:16,123 --> 01:04:18,969
without watching porn,
and I tried to...
1069
01:04:18,971 --> 01:04:22,809
- Yeah? And you couldn't?
- No, I couldn't.
1070
01:04:22,811 --> 01:04:25,656
I don't know what's wrong with me. I've been
trying for a week, it's really fucked up.
1071
01:04:25,658 --> 01:04:31,670
- Oh, my God! You haven't cum in a week?
- Mm...
1072
01:04:31,672 --> 01:04:36,567
OK, wait. No. I want to
hear the rest of the story.
1073
01:04:38,232 --> 01:04:41,206
- So you haven't watched porn in a week.
- Yeah.
1074
01:04:41,208 --> 01:04:45,109
- That's good.
- What do you mean? You said you watched porn.
1075
01:04:45,111 --> 01:04:48,693
Uh, yeah, but that movie
that I gave you was totally...
1076
01:04:48,695 --> 01:04:50,580
- Did you ever watch it?
- No.
1077
01:04:50,582 --> 01:04:53,332
OK. It's totally unlike the stuff
that I imagine you watch every day.
1078
01:04:53,334 --> 01:04:56,052
- That is not healthy.
- What do you mean? How do you know?
1079
01:04:56,054 --> 01:04:59,059
Oh, my God, please!
That stuff is ridiculous
1080
01:04:59,061 --> 01:05:02,802
and it's nothing to do with actual sex.
That's why you have trouble with real women.
1081
01:05:02,804 --> 01:05:06,930
- No, I get off fine with real girls.
- Yeah, you definitely do.
1082
01:05:06,932 --> 01:05:10,098
Yeah, I just couldn't get off
beating it with my eyes closed.
1083
01:05:10,100 --> 01:05:14,928
But didn't you tell me last week that
you like porn better than real sex?
1084
01:05:14,930 --> 01:05:20,080
Well, honey, I'm gonna be honest with you,
'cause it seems like that's what you want.
1085
01:05:20,082 --> 01:05:23,472
Look, the way you have sex,
it's like totally one-sided.
1086
01:05:23,473 --> 01:05:26,191
It's like I'm not even there.
1087
01:05:26,193 --> 01:05:29,711
I mean, look, it's fine with me.
I'm not complaining.
1088
01:05:29,713 --> 01:05:32,239
It just so happens that meaningless sex
is something that I want in my life now,
1089
01:05:32,241 --> 01:05:35,789
but you said that you
wanna lose yourself in sex.
1090
01:05:35,791 --> 01:05:39,885
If you wanna lose yourself, you have
to lose yourself in another person.
1091
01:05:39,887 --> 01:05:44,461
And she has to lose herself
in you. It's a two-way thing.
1092
01:05:50,765 --> 01:05:52,715
You know what?
I shouldn't have said that.
1093
01:05:52,717 --> 01:05:54,987
- No, it's fine.
- No, no, no. I'm sorry. I am.
1094
01:05:54,989 --> 01:05:58,826
- What are you talking about?
- No. I'm really sorry.
1095
01:05:58,828 --> 01:06:01,002
I'm... I didn't mean
to hurt your feelings.
1096
01:06:01,004 --> 01:06:04,329
- You didn't. That's fine.
- No, I really didn't.
1097
01:06:06,443 --> 01:06:08,681
You know what?
1098
01:06:08,683 --> 01:06:10,665
Let's take a bath.
1099
01:06:10,667 --> 01:06:14,761
- What? Nah!
- No, come on. It'll be nice. It'll be nice.
1100
01:06:14,763 --> 01:06:17,863
Come on, let's take a bath.
1101
01:06:22,153 --> 01:06:24,550
I'm gonna get you a towel.
1102
01:06:52,164 --> 01:06:55,202
(SOBBING SOFTLY)
1103
01:07:30,686 --> 01:07:32,925
Hey, where were you?
1104
01:07:32,927 --> 01:07:35,453
I used one of the towels that was
in there, hope you don't mind.
1105
01:07:35,455 --> 01:07:37,373
Yeah, that's fine.
1106
01:07:37,375 --> 01:07:40,731
- What's wrong?
- Nothing.
1107
01:07:42,621 --> 01:07:48,283
- You don't live here alone, do you?
- I actually do.
1108
01:07:48,285 --> 01:07:53,817
There's some kind of...
bad marriage situation here?
1109
01:07:53,819 --> 01:07:56,506
- No.
- I know it's none of my business, sorry.
1110
01:07:56,508 --> 01:07:59,929
I don't wanna get caught out and now some
guy's coming at me with a bat or some shit.
1111
01:07:59,931 --> 01:08:02,904
No, it's nothing like that.
1112
01:08:02,906 --> 01:08:05,817
All right. So, what is it?
1113
01:08:05,819 --> 01:08:08,696
Since when do you ask me
personal questions?
1114
01:08:11,065 --> 01:08:12,951
Since right now.
1115
01:08:12,953 --> 01:08:16,055
- It really doesn't matter.
- Well, it seems like it matters to you.
1116
01:08:16,056 --> 01:08:18,039
No, it doesn't.
1117
01:08:18,041 --> 01:08:22,645
Didn't you tell me it's sort of fucked
up to keep stuff like this hidden?
1118
01:08:27,895 --> 01:08:33,012
My husband and my son
died 14 months ago.
1119
01:08:33,014 --> 01:08:34,484
- Jesus!
- Thank you.
1120
01:08:34,486 --> 01:08:36,083
What happened?
1121
01:08:36,085 --> 01:08:40,243
Cars are terrible things.
1122
01:08:40,245 --> 01:08:42,995
I'm sorry, but your hair
is so much better this way.
1123
01:08:42,997 --> 01:08:45,842
- What?
- I can touch it.
1124
01:08:45,844 --> 01:08:47,570
(LAUGHS) What are you
talking about?
1125
01:08:47,572 --> 01:08:49,554
You put so much
junk in your hair,
1126
01:08:49,556 --> 01:08:52,817
it's all sticky and hard,
this is much better.
1127
01:09:49,386 --> 01:09:52,105
(CONDOM WRAPPER CRINKLING)
1128
01:10:01,001 --> 01:10:03,655
(SOFT PANTING)
1129
01:10:43,554 --> 01:10:46,689
(GASPING)
1130
01:11:02,975 --> 01:11:05,342
(ENGINE REVVING)
1131
01:11:05,344 --> 01:11:07,166
(HIP-HOP SONG PLAYS OVER STEREO)
1132
01:11:07,168 --> 01:11:10,558
(SINGING WITH RADIO)
♪ Good vibration
1133
01:11:10,559 --> 01:11:13,821
♪ It's such a sweet sensation
1134
01:11:13,823 --> 01:11:17,789
♪ It's such a good vibration ♪
1135
01:11:17,791 --> 01:11:22,237
(RADIO) ♪ It's such
a sweet sensation ♪
1136
01:11:22,239 --> 01:11:24,123
(SINGING WITH RADIO)
♪ Yo! It's about that time
1137
01:11:24,125 --> 01:11:25,979
♪ To bring forth the rhythm
and the rhyme... ♪
1138
01:11:25,981 --> 01:11:29,115
(CHURCH BELLS CHIMING)
1139
01:11:38,810 --> 01:11:40,826
(ORGAN PLAYS SOMBER MELODY)
1140
01:11:40,828 --> 01:11:43,098
JON: In the name of the Father, the
Son and the Holy Spirit. Amen.
1141
01:11:43,100 --> 01:11:45,528
- PRIEST: Amen. Bless you, my son.
- Forgive me, Father,
1142
01:11:45,530 --> 01:11:48,120
for I have sinned. It has been one
week since my last confession.
1143
01:11:48,122 --> 01:11:51,032
- PRIEST: Tell me your sins.
- First of all, I lied to you before.
1144
01:11:51,034 --> 01:11:55,799
I told you that, uh... Well, actually,
I don't know if it was you.
1145
01:11:55,801 --> 01:11:58,966
Something I've always kinda wondered is, is
it the same guy I'm talking to every week
1146
01:11:58,968 --> 01:12:04,246
or there's a few of you and you switch off, or...
how does that all work?
1147
01:12:06,518 --> 01:12:10,421
Well, anyway, I told the Father
a while back
1148
01:12:10,423 --> 01:12:16,180
that I stopped watching pornography, but
that was a lie, I didn't stop at all.
1149
01:12:16,182 --> 01:12:20,819
The thing is, this week I actually did stop,
like totally just not doing it anymore.
1150
01:12:20,821 --> 01:12:24,339
So...
1151
01:12:24,341 --> 01:12:27,730
- PRIEST: Yes?
- Yeah, so that's like zero for the week.
1152
01:12:27,732 --> 01:12:31,730
Other than that, I did have sex
out of wedlock one time,
1153
01:12:31,732 --> 01:12:36,850
but it was different, it wasn't
just sex, it was like...
1154
01:12:36,851 --> 01:12:41,649
I don't know, it's hard to explain, but...
yeah, that's it. So...
1155
01:12:41,650 --> 01:12:45,552
For these and all the sins
of my life, I am sorry.
1156
01:12:45,554 --> 01:12:47,535
PRIEST: Ten Lord's Prayers
and ten Hail Marys.
1157
01:12:47,537 --> 01:12:49,519
Really? Same thing,
no difference?
1158
01:12:49,521 --> 01:12:51,856
PRIEST: Through the ministry of
the Church, may God give you...
1159
01:12:51,858 --> 01:12:54,158
Wait! Father, I'm really sorry,
1160
01:12:54,160 --> 01:12:57,263
but could you just tell me how you
got to those numbers, please?
1161
01:12:57,265 --> 01:13:02,221
'Cause I... I really thought there
was gonna be a difference this week.
1162
01:13:05,774 --> 01:13:08,076
PRIEST: Have faith, my son.
1163
01:13:08,078 --> 01:13:10,732
Through the ministry of the Church,
may God give you pardon and peace,
1164
01:13:10,734 --> 01:13:15,500
and I absolve you from your sins in the name
of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.
1165
01:13:19,212 --> 01:13:24,042
- So, uh... me and Barbara split up.
- ANGIE: What?
1166
01:13:24,044 --> 01:13:29,225
- Barbara and I split up.
- I can't believe it, this is horrible!
1167
01:13:29,227 --> 01:13:31,466
- Can you get her back?
- I don't think so.
1168
01:13:31,468 --> 01:13:33,641
- Did you try to call her?
- She doesn't want me to call her.
1169
01:13:33,643 --> 01:13:35,848
- Look what you did.
- Sorry. What do you want me to do?
1170
01:13:35,850 --> 01:13:39,432
I just want you to be happy, that's all!
Is that too much to ask?
1171
01:13:39,434 --> 01:13:43,495
- I wasn't happy.
- A nice wife and some nice kids?
1172
01:13:43,497 --> 01:13:46,151
Look at me!
I look like a grandmother,
1173
01:13:46,153 --> 01:13:48,455
but do I have
any grandchildren? No!
1174
01:13:48,457 --> 01:13:50,758
Am I a bad mother,
is that what I'm hearing?
1175
01:13:50,760 --> 01:13:53,254
- Honey, calm down, please!
- You know, Ma, I don't know
1176
01:13:53,256 --> 01:13:55,973
- if I really want a wife and kids.
- What are you saying?
1177
01:13:55,975 --> 01:13:57,797
You don't mean that.
1178
01:13:57,799 --> 01:13:59,717
- Jon, say something!
- JON SR.: All right!
1179
01:13:59,719 --> 01:14:02,309
Stop upsetting your mother! What
the fuck is the matter with you?
1180
01:14:02,311 --> 01:14:04,612
- I don't know.
- Having a family is the greatest joy
1181
01:14:04,614 --> 01:14:07,428
- in a man's life, everybody knows that!
- Then maybe I'm not a man.
1182
01:14:07,430 --> 01:14:11,843
'Cause I sure don't want a family.
Maybe one day, but not right now!
1183
01:14:11,845 --> 01:14:14,787
- Well, and that's all she wanted.
- ANGIE: What did she say?
1184
01:14:14,789 --> 01:14:19,138
- SISTER: I said that girl...
- I cannot hear any fucking thing!
1185
01:14:21,987 --> 01:14:24,929
- What are you saying?
- All I'm saying is, that girl,
1186
01:14:24,931 --> 01:14:26,849
she has her own agenda.
She doesn't care about Jonny,
1187
01:14:26,851 --> 01:14:28,833
she doesn't know
the first thing about him.
1188
01:14:28,835 --> 01:14:31,648
She just wants a guy who's gonna
do whatever she tells him to.
1189
01:14:31,650 --> 01:14:34,209
It is a good thing
that she broke up with you.
1190
01:14:35,329 --> 01:14:39,135
- Thanks.
- You're welcome.
1191
01:14:46,911 --> 01:14:51,230
- Jon, I will fucking kill you!
- All right. Easy.
1192
01:14:55,710 --> 01:14:58,365
(TECHNO MUSIC PLAYING)
1193
01:15:09,468 --> 01:15:11,707
(TECHNO MUSIC FADES)
1194
01:15:23,514 --> 01:15:27,864
(SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)
1195
01:15:30,073 --> 01:15:32,600
(BOTH WHISPERING INDISTINCTLY)
1196
01:15:32,602 --> 01:15:38,167
All right, listen, listen, I gotta go,
so I'll see you later? All right. Bye.
1197
01:15:38,169 --> 01:15:39,703
- Sorry.
- That's cool.
1198
01:15:39,705 --> 01:15:42,390
- Sorry about that.
- No problem. How you doing?
1199
01:15:42,392 --> 01:15:45,174
- A little windy.
- Yeah, it's windy out here.
1200
01:15:45,176 --> 01:15:47,989
- So... I'm good. How are you?
- Good, thanks.
1201
01:15:47,991 --> 01:15:50,869
- Everybody good?
- Yeah, great.
1202
01:15:52,214 --> 01:15:54,804
- Thanks for meeting me.
- Sure.
1203
01:15:54,806 --> 01:15:57,044
Hope you understand why I thought
lunch was not a good idea.
1204
01:15:57,046 --> 01:15:58,708
That's fine.
You want some coffee?
1205
01:15:58,710 --> 01:16:00,948
No, actually I gotta
go pretty soon, so...
1206
01:16:04,116 --> 01:16:09,138
- (LAUGHS) You changed your hair?
- Yeah...
1207
01:16:12,403 --> 01:16:14,802
- So?
- Yeah, so...
1208
01:16:16,338 --> 01:16:19,057
I just wanted to apologize.
1209
01:16:19,059 --> 01:16:22,576
I lied to you,
and I'm sorry for that.
1210
01:16:27,825 --> 01:16:30,479
Well, that's
all you're gonna say?
1211
01:16:32,527 --> 01:16:35,887
I don't really know what I do
with that. What do I say?
1212
01:16:35,889 --> 01:16:38,382
I forgive you, or we're supposed
to get back together or something?
1213
01:16:38,384 --> 01:16:41,070
- No. No, I just wanted to tell you...
- You're not capable
1214
01:16:41,072 --> 01:16:42,670
of a relationship, Jon.
1215
01:16:42,672 --> 01:16:46,413
- You're not.
- No. Right now I'm not.
1216
01:16:46,415 --> 01:16:48,717
'Cause you're a selfish
person, and you're a liar.
1217
01:16:48,719 --> 01:16:52,716
- Yeah, I was. I'm sorry.
- I asked you to do one thing for me...
1218
01:16:52,718 --> 01:16:57,099
Yeah. I was thinking about
that when you said it before.
1219
01:16:57,101 --> 01:17:00,715
Well, I said it because
it's true, that's why.
1220
01:17:02,348 --> 01:17:05,866
- It's not true.
- Really?
1221
01:17:05,868 --> 01:17:08,970
You didn't only ask me for one thing.
You asked for a lot,
1222
01:17:08,972 --> 01:17:12,393
a lot of different things
and then...
1223
01:17:12,395 --> 01:17:13,897
...I couldn't do it
all for you.
1224
01:17:13,899 --> 01:17:16,425
Well, when a real man
loves a woman,
1225
01:17:16,427 --> 01:17:18,312
he doesn't mind
doing things for her.
1226
01:17:18,314 --> 01:17:20,584
He'll do anything for her.
1227
01:17:20,586 --> 01:17:25,959
Yeah, but don't you think that
sounds a little bit one-sided?
1228
01:17:25,961 --> 01:17:28,231
No, I don't.
1229
01:17:28,233 --> 01:17:31,910
But that's why you like to watch
those whores in those videos,
1230
01:17:31,912 --> 01:17:34,022
because you don't gotta
do anything for them, right?
1231
01:17:34,024 --> 01:17:39,269
Yeah, that's one-sided
also. Definitely.
1232
01:17:40,614 --> 01:17:44,421
Look, sweetie,
I'm gonna go, OK?
1233
01:17:47,141 --> 01:17:49,348
Don't call me anymore.
1234
01:17:57,412 --> 01:17:59,618
The streak is over,
motherfucker! How's it feel?
1235
01:17:59,620 --> 01:18:02,722
- I'd rather get pizza with my boys.
- That's new.
1236
01:18:02,724 --> 01:18:06,498
Every fucking time we go out,
Don Jon smashes!
1237
01:18:06,499 --> 01:18:08,865
But not tonight,
ladies and gentlemen.
1238
01:18:08,867 --> 01:18:11,937
The fans are devastated.
Jonny, what happened?
1239
01:18:11,939 --> 01:18:14,144
Yeah! Well, I thought it was on
with old crop top.
1240
01:18:14,146 --> 01:18:16,320
- No, that girl was annoying.
- She was tight though.
1241
01:18:16,322 --> 01:18:18,176
- Eight.
- Solid eight.
1242
01:18:18,178 --> 01:18:20,416
Her body was at least an eight,
but you didn't talk to her.
1243
01:18:20,418 --> 01:18:22,814
- Who cares how she talks?
- You asked why I didn't smash,
1244
01:18:22,816 --> 01:18:26,654
that's why I didn't smash. What about you?
You were kicking it to pony-tail, right?
1245
01:18:26,656 --> 01:18:29,502
- How did it go?
- You get her name?
1246
01:18:29,504 --> 01:18:32,509
- I got a number.
- BOTH: Oh! Hey!
1247
01:18:32,511 --> 01:18:34,428
- You like that?
- Fucking right I do!
1248
01:18:34,430 --> 01:18:39,069
- Easy, easy. Did you get her name?
- Yeah!
1249
01:18:39,071 --> 01:18:40,573
Wait...
1250
01:18:42,493 --> 01:18:44,092
- Oh, fuck!
- What?
1251
01:18:44,094 --> 01:18:45,628
I saved it as pony-tail.
1252
01:18:45,630 --> 01:18:48,252
- (LAUGHS) Danny-boy!
- Danny-boy!
1253
01:18:48,254 --> 01:18:51,643
All right, all right, all right.
Take it easy, take it easy.
1254
01:19:03,258 --> 01:19:05,081
JON: This fucking lady.
1255
01:19:05,083 --> 01:19:09,049
I don't usually like it when a
girl looks me right in the eye,
1256
01:19:09,051 --> 01:19:10,744
and this girl does that a lot.
1257
01:19:10,746 --> 01:19:12,888
But I don't know what it is
about her.
1258
01:19:12,890 --> 01:19:15,224
When she does it, I don't mind.
1259
01:19:15,226 --> 01:19:19,511
I just look right back at her,
and pretty soon...
1260
01:19:19,513 --> 01:19:21,527
...I'm hard as a fucking rock.
1261
01:19:21,529 --> 01:19:24,150
It's like she knows
what I'm thinking.
1262
01:19:24,151 --> 01:19:27,030
Or I know what
she's thinking, or...
1263
01:19:27,031 --> 01:19:31,093
I don't know, it's that two-way
thing. I fucking love it.
1264
01:19:33,398 --> 01:19:37,556
And I don't mean love like, "I
love her, I wanna marry her."
1265
01:19:37,558 --> 01:19:40,468
I'm definitely not thinking
about all that shit.
1266
01:19:40,469 --> 01:19:43,156
And she's not either.
1267
01:19:44,084 --> 01:19:46,355
She can't.
1268
01:19:49,684 --> 01:19:52,594
I guess I just mean love like,
1269
01:19:52,595 --> 01:19:56,881
you know, like
when we're making love.
1270
01:19:56,883 --> 01:20:01,361
And while we're doing it, all
the bullshit does fade away,
1271
01:20:01,363 --> 01:20:04,464
and it's just me and her,
right there,
1272
01:20:04,466 --> 01:20:07,984
and yeah, I do lose
myself in her,
1273
01:20:07,986 --> 01:20:11,279
and I can tell she
is losing herself in me,
1274
01:20:11,281 --> 01:20:16,879
and we're just fucking...
lost together.
1275
01:20:25,359 --> 01:20:28,045
(HIP-HOP PLAYS)
1276
01:20:28,047 --> 01:20:30,509
♪ It's such a good vibration
1277
01:20:30,511 --> 01:20:32,109
♪ Come on, come on, come on
1278
01:20:32,111 --> 01:20:34,988
♪ It's such a sweet sensation
1279
01:20:34,990 --> 01:20:39,180
- ♪ Feel it, feel it
- ♪ It's such a good vibration ♪
1280
01:20:39,182 --> 01:20:41,994
♪ It's such a sweet sensation
1281
01:20:41,996 --> 01:20:46,826
- ♪ Feel the vibration
- ♪ It's such a good vibration ♪
1282
01:20:46,828 --> 01:20:50,570
♪ It's such a sweet sensation
1283
01:20:50,572 --> 01:20:54,185
♪ It's such a good vibration
1284
01:20:54,187 --> 01:20:59,784
♪ It's such a sweet sensation ♪
1285
01:21:02,281 --> 01:21:05,735
(ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYS)
1286
01:22:31,227 --> 01:22:34,171
(INSTRUMENTAL HIP-HOP PLAYS)
1287
01:22:55,576 --> 01:22:58,424
(ORCHESTRAL MUSIC PLAYS)